Archive of Our Own ^beta

Evy slammed the backdoor shut and scrambled over to the seat directly behind Dean. She took a deep breath and smiled. They were one step closer to defeating Dick Roman. It was the rush she felt that reminded her why she loved doing what she was doing. Evy looked over to Bobby, reached over, and grabbed his hand tight.

“We did it.” She said with a smile. When Bobby didn’t respond right away, Evy squeezed his hand. “Bobby? You okay?” Bobby slumped down in his seat and Evy panicked. “Bobby?” She touched a hand to his head, drew it back, and her panic caused her to nearly scream. There was blood.

“Bobby, your…”

“SAMMY! GET BACK HERE!” Evy shouted, jumping and grabbing Bobby into her arms.

“Cricket, what…?”

“Bobby’s been shot! Sammy, get back here. Dean, drive!” Evy said.

            Sam held pressure on the wound in Bobby’s head as Evy talked to Bobby. The drive seemed to take forever, and Evy held onto Bobby’s hand the entire way. Only when she was physically removed by one of the ER staff did she let Bobby go.

Come on, Bobby. You can do it. Pull through, please.

            As Evy was worrying over Bobby at the hospital, Bobby was dealing with his own troubles inside his own head. He knew what he was experiencing wasn’t real almost right away. Rufus was with him, though getting him to listen was a lost cause. He had been expecting it, and sure enough, it came.

“Mr. Singer. Your time’s up.”

Bobby took in the appearance of the man who had so suddenly appeared in his memories. “So you’re my reaper, huh? You know I’ve heard of you guys grapping reapees in broad daylight and in their sleep, but I never heard of a reaper showing up inside a guy’s custard.”

The reaper smiled, though it didn’t even come close to putting Bobby at ease. “You’re in a coma, genius. This is what happens. I climb inside your…custard and fish you out.”

Bobby backed away slowly, looking for a way out.

“Oh, you think you can stop me?” the reaper asked incredulously.

“I’m gonna try.” Bobby answered.

Suddenly, a voice came through that stopped Bobby and the reaper in their tracks. It filled the church, and shook the walls and the chairs. Even the reaper shied away and looked around, eyes wide with terror.

“Bobby,” the voice thundered, “if you think that reaper’s scary, wait till you face me after you pass on. You fight this. Fight it hard. We still need you, Bobby.” Bobby heard a sniffle and imagined Evy crying and wiping her face. “I still need you. You’re the only Daddy I’ve got now.”

The reaper asked, after the voice died down, “Who was that?”

Bobby grinned. All the motivation he needed to fight was in him now. “That would be my daughter.”

As Bobby backed away, the reaper shook his head. “You’re prolonging the inevitable.”

            Bobby left the church, and walked into what would be one of his first few memories.

  A Few Months Earlier

            Sam and Dean were in the living room, arguing over who was better in a movie. Jet Li or Chuck Norris. It was an argument they’d had many times before. Sam was on the right end of the couch, Evy sitting in the middle next to him, and Dean was practically throwing his hands up in frustration.

“You are crazy. Kiddo, will you tell him?” “I think you’re both crazy.” Evy said with a grin as she grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“Hey!” Sam objected, reaching over to tickle her. “I’m nineteen years old, Sammy!” Evy said, squirming to get away from him.

Suddenly Dean forgot the argument too. “Does that mean you’re not ticklish anymore?”

“Bobby, help me!” Evy screamed in delight, squirming between her two big brothers on the couch.

            As much as Bobby wanted to stay and enjoy the memory, he couldn’t. He had to keep moving. He walked over to a door, one he had seen many times before, and opened it. Back at the hospital, Evy was feeling restless and afraid. The doctors were still working on Bobby, and she didn’t what to do with herself. She eventually told Sam she was taking a walk, and found her way to an unoccupied storage room.

Evy closed the door to the storage closet behind her. Sliding down to the floor as she did. Bobby couldn’t be dying. She refused to believe it. After losing their father, Bobby was the only father she, Sam, and Dean had. Evy’s heart was constricting, making it hard to breathe. She did the only thing she could think of to do. Taking a deep breath, she called out to someone else she missed.

“Cass. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I really need you. We need you. I know things were bad with us the last time we saw each other, but Bobby’s dying.” Evy sniffed and wiped away the tears starting to fall. “You always felt bad when I was hurting. I’m hurting now. More than ever. Cass, please, if there’s some way, any way you can help him…”

            The door to the storage closet opened, and for one brief glorious second, Evy started to smile. Had Cass heard her prayer and somehow come back to them? But her hopes came crashing down when she saw who it actually was.

“Cricket, are you okay?”

            When the only answer Evy could offer was tears, Sam grabbed her and helped pull her up. He wanted to tell her everything would be okay, and that Bobby would pull through. But he couldn’t. What Sam didn’t realize was that it wasn’t Bobby that Evy was missing at the moment.

Come back to us, Cass. Please. Even if you can’t help Bobby, just come back to us.  

            Sam walked with her back to the Emergency waiting room, where Evy suddenly got a streak of rebellion. Despite the doctors and nurses saying it wasn’t a good idea, Evy found a chair and parked it next to Bobby’s bed. Sam tried to talk her out of it, reminding her that Bobby was still in critical condition and it was likely to be a while before he made any improvement.

“Sam, I don’t care! He wouldn’t leave us alone!”

            Bobby and Rufus were still scouring through Bobby’s memories. Bobby finally came upon one that was worth watching. Rufus objected, saying they needed to move on. But Bobby insisted.

“No, Rufus. It’s only a couple minutes long. I want to see this one.”

“This isn’t the previews at the movies, Bobby…” Rufus said irritably.

“Shut up, Rufus!”

Eighteen Years Earlier

            Bobby stood on his porch, smiling as the familiar Impala made its way up the driveway. Dean parked the car, kicking up dirt and dust from the driveway. Dean was the first to step out, followed by John, who reached in the back and picked Evy up out of her car seat. Sam, who had clearly been sleeping, was just beginning to stir. John held Evy on his hip, but she immediately started squirming.

“Down, Daddy. Evy walk.”

“In a minute.” John said, with only the slightest hint of impatience.

“Daddy. Evy walk!” Evy insisted. “Pweeeeeeaaaasse?”

John sighed. “Okay, okay. I have to get the bags anyway.”

            John carefully placed her on the ground, and Evy took off. His first instinct was to scold her, snatch her back off the ground and swat her leg for running off from him. But when he saw the direction she was heading, he let it go. Evy was running full speed towards the porch, towards her beloved ‘Unca Baby’. Bobby left the porch and met her at the bottom of the step, scooping her up into his arms.

“Hey, Baitfish. I missed you.”

            The memory melted into a couple hours later. Bobby held Evy at his desk, in his lap, while she snacked on a feast of Cheerios. Once every few Cheerios, she would put one in Bobby’s mouth. But eating didn’t stop her from having the passionate argument she was having with him.

“I not baby. You Baby. I’s Evy.”

“No. You’re the baby.” Bobby insisted, as Evy placed another Cheerio in his mouth. “My name is Bobby.”

“No, unca Baby. You my Baby. I’s you Evy.”

Bobby laughed heartily and hugged the hungry toddler to him. “That’s right. You’re my Evy.”

Rufus laughed. “Guess you’re a stubborn bastard with anybody. Even babies.” “You’re one to talk.” Bobby scoffed. “Let’s keep moving.”

“Cricket.”            

Evy jumped. It had been over an hour since the doctor had said all they could do was ‘wait and see’. Evy planned to do exactly that. Wait and see. She’d stay with Bobby until he either woke up, went to surgery, or…she stopped herself from finishing her thought. It was too much for her to consider. So instead she focused on what had made her jump. Sam was standing over her, hand on her shoulder.

“You want some coffee or something?”

“No thanks.” Evy said.

Sam hugged her neck, a comforting enough gesture, but for once it wasn’t enough. “It’ll be okay, you know.”

“You don’t know that. But thanks for trying anyway.” Evy said. She looked back down to her phone in her hand, which had a picture of Bobby from a few years earlier. “You know, that year I lived with Bobby after Lillith attacked me, he’s the only reason I got better.”

Sam pulled away from her and sat on the very edge of Bobby’s bed. “What do you mean?”

Nearly Three Years Earlier

            The heavy cast on her leg and the throbbing pain still shooting through her arms and legs was barely enough to stop Evy from wanting to do everything herself. Bobby called it her ‘damn stubborn streak’, and Evy was just stubborn enough not to care. She took a few steps up the stairs on her own, trying to get to her room. But, just like every other day before, she tripped and twisted her leg, falling over onto her stomach.

“OW!”  

Bobby came from around the corner. “Baitfish, you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Evy said through clenched teeth.

“The hell you are.” Bobby said, immediately helping her to turn over and sit on the step rather than laying down on it. “What did I tell you about trying to get up the stairs on your own?”

“I can do it.” Evy said stubbornly.

“I know you can do it. That ain’t what I asked.”

Evy sighed. “That I didn’t have to.”

“That’s right. So why are you trying?”

“Because I don’t want to sit by and do nothing.” Evy said.

“You ain’t doing nothing. You’re gettin’ better so you can do something.” Bobby reminded her. “You just as stubborn as your damn daddy used to be.” “

"Yeah, he’d be real proud of me now.” Evy said, eyeing the sling on her arm and the cast on her leg.

“Let me tell you something, Baitfish. And you better listen good. Your daddy would be damn proud of you right now. You’re stronger than he ever was. Braver too.”

“You really think so?” Evy asked. “He wouldn’t think I was weak?”

“If he ever had the nerve to call you weak, I would’ve put a bullet in him.” Bobby said. “Baitfish, it don’t make you weak to ask for help when you need it. It shows how strong you are.”

Evy sighed. “I don’t think I can sleep upstairs.”

“I figured that. How about you sleep on my bed tonight and I’ll clean out that old storage room down the hall for you?”

“I’ll take it.” Evy said. “Thanks, Bobby. For everything.”

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I didn’t know about that.” Sam said.

“You guys had just left.” Evy explained. “I was feeling really weak and I didn’t want you to see that.”

“You’re not weak.” Sam said, the very thought ridiculous to him.

“I know that. Now.” Evy said.

“Come on, Cricket. I want you to get up and stretch your legs.” Sam said. “It’s been two and a half hours and you haven’t moved.” “I don’t want…”

“You don’t have to leave the waiting room.” Sam said.

“You can see Bobby the whole time, just walk a little. Please?”

Evy smiled. “Is that really a ‘please’ request?”

“It’s a get up now before I make you get up request.”

Evy laughed and held her arm out to Sam. “Help me up?”

            Sam pulled her up out of the seat and watched as she walked around the waiting room twice. Bobby woke up and started fighting his breathing tube, and Evy dared herself to feel a little hope. Come on, Bobby. Keep fighting it, she thought. Then the doctor presented even more bad news. Bobby wasn’t improving, he was actually declining. Evy went back to Bobby’s bedside. She heard Sam and Dean talking, heard Dean stomp away from Sam after an argument, and saw Sam take a seat out in the waiting room. Bobby, come back. Please, please come back.

            Bobby’s memories were once again wrapped up with Sam, Dean, and Evy. He had just gone through more days of playing with them, fighting with John over how John treated them, and endless nights, mostly with Evy, of hugs, kisses, tears, toys, and sore throats. In the memory he was looking at, he was on the phone with John, telling him to come home and see his kids, when three-year-old Evy came around the corner. She was running like a gazelle being chased by a lion, and soon enough the lion came around the corner in the form of thirteen-year-old Sammy.

“I’ll get you, my Cricket.”

Evy grabbed Bobby’s leg and started to climb up it. “Unca Baby, save me! The tickle lion gonna get me!”

“John…” Bobby threw the phone down once he realized that he was getting nowhere and that John had hung up on him. “What, Baitfish?” “

"The tickle lion gonna get me!” Evy said, doing her best to sound panicked but dramatically falling short of her goal when she kept giggling. “Save me!”

Bobby reached down and picked her up. “You know the secret to getting rid of a tickle lion, right?”

“Nuh-uh. What is it?” Evy asked.

“Have a bigger lion to help you.”

Evy grinned. “You be my lion?”

“Happy to. You ready?”

“Let’s do it.” Evy said.

            Five seconds later, Bobby and Evy had Sam on the couch, tickling his neck and stomach ruthlessly. By the time they had all calmed down, Bobby had forgotten all about the phone call with John, and was holding a still giggling Evy on his lap.

            It was that memory that was on Bobby’s mind when the reaper tried yet again to get him to cross over. The memory of Evy’s smile, of her constantly happy spirit, and of how happy she made him made Bobby want to fight all the harder.

“You’ve done enough.” The reaper told Bobby.

“I don’t care.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re my kids!” Bobby said, all the while thinking and they’re worth it.

Evy’s voice broke through Bobby’s head again. “Please, Bobby, come back. We need you.”

            Screw this, Bobby decided. He walked past the reaper and into his last memory, the worst one of all. It was one that, for reasons that bewildered Bobby, still caused him to feel guilty at times. He was with his parents at the dinner table, and a glass of milk accidentally fell and smashed on the floor. Bobby shook his head as the memory of his father yelled at his younger self.

“Get a broom or something!”

“Why do you always provoke him?” Bobby’s mother asked adult Bobby, as his father continued to rain down slaps onto her face.

“Because he’s a bad kid. That’s why.”

Finally, adult Bobby spoke up, from a deep well of resentment that had been building inside him since he was ten years old. “Well, that’s a load of crap. Who the hell were you to say?”

“I’m your father. And you show your father respect.”

“The day he deserves it! You drunken bully. Punching women and kids-is that what they call fatherhood in your day?” Bobby shouted.

“Oh, you deserved it. Believe me. You were nothing but ungrateful.”

“I was a kid! Kids ain’t supposed to be grateful! They’re supposed to eat your food and break your heart, you selfish dick! You died, and I was still so afraid I’d turn into you I never even had kids of my own.” Bobby seethed, angry at not only his father but himself.

“Good. You break everything you touch.”

“Well, as fate would have it, I adopted two boys and a little girl, and they grew up great. They grew up heroes. So you can go to hell!”

            After finally facing his father, something Bobby had wanted to do his entire life but never had. After doing it, the rest of the memory wasn’t that scary. Bobby buried his father, in the process burying all the anger and hurt feelings associated with him. Even if he didn’t come out of this, Bobby thought, he could finally put to bed the worst thing he’d ever done.

            The next thing Bobby knew, he was opening his eyes on a hospital bed. Sam stood directly next to him, Evy was in the middle and Dean next to her. Bobby frantically tried to talk, but couldn’t. Dean handed him a pen, he wrote his message on Sam’s hand, and, realizing he would lose the battle, Bobby finally resigned himself to his fate.

“Idjits.” He whispered.

            Sam and Dean smiled. Bobby looked to Evy, who seemed to realize the same thing Bobby did. He wouldn’t make it. Bobby could see the pain etched in her face. It broke his heart to leave her. He used his last bit of strength to kiss his hand and pat Evy’s cheek. I love you.

            The Winchesters had faced more death than they could count. They had fought monsters, been hurt, knocked down, and even killed. But the loss of Bobby was too much. It took the motivation out of all of them to continue with their job of finding and hunting evil. Dick Roman just didn’t matter anymore. Not with Bobby gone. Nothing did. As Evy pulled away from the hospital with Sam and Dean, she realized that her time with her family was coming to an end. Something had to give, to change. She had been considering it for a while, but it was time. Past time. As Dean drove, she dug out her backpack and pulled out the letter. With a heavy heart and shaking hands, she opened the envelope and read it. Dear Ms. Winchester, We are pleased to accept you for admission this upcoming spring to Princeton University…