Archive of Our Own ^beta

Stiles thinks that his friendship with Scott, as they say in the business world, is like a joint venture. Their partnership, however currently beneficial for both partners, is finite. Or that’s how it feels like. Their friendship seems fine as they hang out at school together, but it lacks steady foundations.

Apart from sitting at the bench during lacrosse training every day, they just don’t have any similar interests. Where Stiles likes comic books and watching Game of Thrones on Netflix, Scott likes cross-country running and kissing Allison behind the bleachers. So while it’s nice to be able to nag to someone his age about his chemistry teacher, Stiles kind of wishes he has a friend who at least appreciated his taste in music and does not want to Justin Timberlake on repeat

But Stiles is still Stiles, an odd mix between a wall-flower and a freak, so it’s hard to find people with the same interests that want to befriend him. Hell, he’s not even sure how he has managed to befriend Scott in the first place. Scott has plenty of other friends around school. He even occasionally talks to a couple of the popular kids, but he still decides to sit next to Stiles at lunch. He should give him more credit for that.

Scott once told him it’s because of Stiles’ genuine disposition and sincerity, but Stiles thinks it’s because he makes Scott look better next to him.

Brief, Scott is a decent and faithful friend, but they’re not close enough for Stiles to tell him his deepest secret. His unyielding love for the immaculate god that is Derek Hale. (Alright, it’s just a huge crush.)

Stiles is convinced that if he even just tells Scott that he maybe admires Derek’s biceps, Scott would already make fun of him, finding a way to embarrass him. Or worse, he could want to start to avoid Stiles’ gayness.

Sure, Scott has hinted a couple of times already that Stiles is crushing on someone when he caught him not so subtly checking out Derek’s ass on the lacrosse field, while Scott was having a soliloquy about Allison’s eyelashes or something.

This Tuesday it’s not any different.

Derek is wearing the tightest shirt of all the players, making his muscles bulge out even more. No wonder that Stiles doesn’t notice the moment Scott abruptly stops talking about Allison’s soft hair and follow Stiles’ eyes to see what holds his attention.

“Why’re you staring at Hale?”

Stiles blushes as soon as Liam’s words penetrate his ears, quickly averting his gaze from the god on the field.

“I- I so was not looking at Hale. I was just following the game!” He tries to speak, but his voice lacks conviction. He has always been a bad liar.

“But the ball was on the other side of the field. And why are you blushing?” Scott gives him a mocking smile.

“I’m not blushing. I just have pale skin and it’s cold outside.” Stiles tries to empathize, but Scott isn’t listening anymore.

“Do you have a crush on him? Does lanky Stiles Stilinski have a crush on the star-player of lacrosse, Derek Hale?” He asks with a predator grin.

“Hush! Don’t talk so loudly.” Stiles looks frantically around him to notice that, luckily, no one’s paying attention. What a perk of being a wall-flower-freak.

“So what is your plan for getting to ride his dick?”

Stiles gives him a stoic look. This is exactly the reason why he preferred keeping Scott in the dark about him liking Derek. He has just figured it out and it’s managed to become a disaster already. Fortunately their team manages to score another point, so Stiles doesn’t have to answer and can cheer instead. Afterwards he makes quick work of asking Scott about Allison’s fingernails.

*

He’s late for math. One minute already and he’s still standing in the boy’s toilets with his headphones on, listening to the Arctic Monkeys. He just can’t be bothered to get to class. He’s had enough of school, of the teachers, and, well, he doesn’t even share that class with either Scott, so he clearly has no reason to attend. It’s science.

I go crazy, ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be
And satisfaction feels like just a memory

They’re right, The Arctic Monkeys, Stiles thinks. Satisfaction does feel like just a memory. He knows he’s blessed with the life he’s gives, that there are many, many people who can’t say the same. Who don’t have a loving father, who have to struggle to get food or water, let alone an education. He knows that from a distant his life looks perfect. He’s healthy and can go to school and even has a brilliant computer. Stiles knows he should be grateful. He is grateful. It’s just. Sometimes his life feels so empty.

When he sees his peers having fun with their dozens of friends, talking about the wild parties they attend. Or when he sees Scott together with Allison, playing a perfect couple right out of a rom-com, while Stiles hasn’t even had his first kiss yet. Hell, he hasn’t even completely figured out his sexuality yet!

He just feels like he’s watching his life from a distant, like a train that slowly comes by while everyone else is on said train. It feels like he’s watching his life instead of living it.

He too wants to fall in love and kiss beneath the stars, instead of reading stories of people doing just that. He wants to find the pepper to spice up his bland life. Frankly, he just wants to date Derek Hale, even though he’s well aware of the fact that he’ll never be able to get him.

In the middle of Stiles’ philosophical inner monologue, someone barges into the bathroom, walking in on Stiles, before rushing to the urinoirs.

“Oops, sorry!” Stiles brings out, quickly backing off until his back hits the sinks.

The now peeing boy turns his head to glare at him. Is that? Could that? Holy shit, the subject of Stiles inner monologue has just come in. Has Stiles accidentally summoned him? Or is this just a terrifying coincidence?

“You could apologize too, you know, instead of glaring. It’s only polite to do so.” Wait, no shit. Stiles just has to let his mouth run before his brain can keep up. Can’t he just keep quiet, or say something nice instead of this? Did he really need to say that?

Luckily, Derek Hale doesn’t react as Stiles thought he would. After tucking his penis back in his pants, (Stiles did not watch him do that of course, he just washes his hands for the seventh time that hour.) Derek turns around to watch him with an amused face. It’s probably the first time he hears Stiles talk.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that. I just had to pee real badly. Alright? Is this good enough of an apology for you?”

“Sure,” Stiles answers with a small voice, flustered as he feels that Derek’s attention’s on him.

“It’s Stiles, right?” Derek asks as he’s walking over to the sinks, ending up standing next to Stiles as he washes his hands.

“Uhm, yes. It is. My name, I mean. Well, not my real name, because no one can pronounce it, but people call me Stiles.” He shuts his mouth to stop any other word vomit that was about to come out, “How did you know?”

“My sister once had a group project with you. She told me how smart you were and how good you were at history. Besides, you’re friends with Scott, right?” He quickly shuts his mouth like he’s said something he didn’t want to say, and turns an adoring shade of red, not anything like the awkward blushing Stiles often does, it’s more manly.

“Uhm, yeah. He’s my friend, I guess. No, I mean, I know. ” Stiles nods. Derek fortunately doesn’t comment on his word vomit again. He even seems to get a small smile everytime Stiles lets his mouth go. Huh.

“So what’re you actually doing here? You don’t have the urgent-pee excuse like I have.”

“Oh, just skipping class, I guess,” It feels weird saying it out loud, “Didn’t feel like having chemistry today.”

“Mr Harris?”

Stiles nods in confirmation.

“You were right cutting class. He’s an asshole. Luckily I don’t have him anymore this year.

“That’s the only reason I want to pass that class, so I don’t have it anymore next year.”

Derek laughs at what feels like a failed joke. Not one of those full-on beams, crinkling eyes and head falling backwards, but still a laugh. Stiles has just made Derek fucking Hale laugh. He thought that someone Stiles said was funny. What is his life even?  

“What were you listening to?”

Stiles gives him a questioning look, so Derek points at his headphones. Is Derek Hale trying to make small talk with him? This day couldn’t possibly get any weirder.

“The headphones,” Derek verbally clarifies as Stiles still doesn’t give an answer.

“Oh, uhm,” Stiles takes a look at his I-pod as it has continued playing, having forgotten to  push the pause button.

“Radioactive?”

“Imagine Dragons?” Derek’s eyes light up, “I love that band.”

“Really?” Stiles beams. Imagine Dragons isn’t really one of his favourite bands, but it’s the first time he meets someone who doesn’t have an opposite taste in music. “What’s your favorite song of them?” He asks, “Personally, I’m a huge fan of Demons.”

“That one’s good, but I’d go for It’s Time. It can brighten up any day.”

They stand like that, smiling at each other like fools, for a while, until Derek seems to recapture his cool again, straightening his back and taking a step back, smile slightly falling.

“Oh well. I have to go. Physics is actually one of the few classes I don’t mind that much, as strange as it may sound. And I don’t want Mrs Parker to think I’m dealing drugs here. It was nice talking to you, Stiles.” He ends with a smile, before leaving.

“Wait!” Stiles calls, just before he’s about to close the door. An unknown bravery has taken control of him, “I’ll see you around?” He says.

“I’m sure I will,” Derek grins back.

Stiles stands frozen for a while. Has all of that happened? For real? He counts his fingers to see if he was dreaming, but no, still five digits on each hand.

Derek Hale talked to him.

Derek Hale recognized him.

Derek Hale laughed at one of his jokes instead of making fun of him! And at one point it even seemed like Derek was flirting with him. Stiles could die happily now.

But when Derek winks at him during the next lacrosse training, Stiles is glad he hadn’t died that day. After all, that had only been the start of it, the start of something beautiful.