Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2018-06-27
Words:
467
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
120
Bookmarks:
3
Hits:
1,302

Fuckin' androids

Summary:

Hank is... not sure about his new partner.

Notes:

This is v e r y bad but I love Hank and Connor more than my own life so I offer this garbage.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

‘Fuckin’ androids. Lousy pieces of shit, all of them.’ Hank Anderson wrinkles his nose at the overwhelming stench of death and drugs currently assaulting his nose.

“Lieutenant Anderson, are you alright? Your facial features suggest that you are in severe discomfort.”

Hank doesn't bother to hide his groan of annoyance. ‘And of course, I had to get stuck with the lousiest one of all.’

“I'm fine, geez. Just thinkin’ that I should probably change careers soon if I want to avoid any more ulcers.”

Connor blinks, still not familiar with the concept of sarcasm.

Hank sighs, and sends a prayer to whoever, or whatever the hell is listening, to give him the patience to not dismantle this robot with a screwdriver. “Just forget it. Anyway, what've we got here?”

Connor's momentary confusion clears. Hank the sarcastic human? Yeah, he has no idea how to deal with that. Hank the semi-professional detective? No sweat. “A homicide. Most like likely involving a deviant android.”

Hank rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know that I was just…” he sighs in defeat. “Nevermind. Lead the way.” He exasperatedly sweeps his arm into a mocking bow.

Connor closes his his eyes, and is completely still for a moment.

‘Oh come on. What the hell is he doing now.’ Hank is just about to say screw this and enter the rather run down… house, if you wanna call it that, when the android's eyes suddenly snap open.

“I don't believe that that will be necessary, sir. From information I have just gathered, I believe it is safe to say that the deviant is no longer here.”

‘Of course he’s not.’ Christ, Hank just can't seem to catch a break today.

“Okay then, genius, then where the hell do you think it went?”

Connor simply points over his shoulder. The exact opposite direction of where they're supposed to be going. “A trace of footprints all lead that way. They appear to be quite recent.”

Hank needs another beer. “Fine. Then I'll just let captain fuckwad know and we can-"

Proving once again to be the most disobedient android Hank has ever had the displeasure of meeting, Connor nods once, and takes off running without any warning. “Affirmative. You do that. In the meantime, I will ensure that he does not escape.”

‘Dammit, Connor!’

“Goddammit, Connor! Wait for me!” But Hanks protests are useless. Connor is already out of sight. Damn the thing moves fast.

‘I don't get paid enough for this shit.’

Hank will not be held responsible if Connor goes and gets himself killed.

Again.

‘Fuckin’ androids, man.’ Hank scoffs to himself as he turns back to go let the other officers on site that they're taking a quick detour.

He better be getting a pay raise for this, that's all he can say.

Notes:

*Shrug emoji*