Archive of Our Own ^beta

-

“You’re nothing but worthless trash. Kill yourself.”

Taehyung stares down at his phone in mute shock, something heavy weighing down on his chest as he reads the words over and over. It’s from an unknown number. The soft ‘ping’ of his message alert had gone off in the middle of him watching an anime on his phone. Now he wishes he hadn’t paused the show to look at the message.

It’s not as though he’s never seen such words directed at him before. Unfortunately, he sees things like this directed at himself and the other members online occasionally. Sometimes it stings a little more than usual, depending on the mood he’s in, but usually, he can brush it off.

But it’s not every day that this is sent to him through a message to his personal phone.

It’s concerning, but he knows it’s happened to idols before. The wrong people get a hold of an idol’s number and they bombard them with texts and calls until the idol has to shut their phone off and get a new number.

It’s only one text though. No phone calls, no messages after that. Just one.

He blinks and snaps back into the moment when he feels a tug on his hair.

He quickly shoves the phone in his lap, hoping the stylist was too busy to see the message. With a brief glance in the mirror, he sees that she’s too engrossed in styling his hair to even notice that he moved. A quick sweep around the room tells him that no one else noticed either, as they’re too busy fluttering around the room, getting their makeup done or outfits adjusted.

He tries to act as casually as possible as he picks up his phone again and deletes the message.

There’s a slight twinge of guilt, but he ignores it. The other members will only worry needlessly, and it’ll weigh down on them when they’re already stressed in the midst of the comeback. It’s not a big deal. He’ll just change his number when he gets the chance.

Instead of going back to his anime, he turns to his right and strikes up a conversation with Hoseok, who’s getting his makeup done in the chair next to him. It’s the perfect distraction. He puts his phone away and pushes the message to the back of his mind.

_

“My legs are falling asleep.”

Taehyung swats away the finger that pokes at his nose, then his cheek repeatedly. He groans, his words of protest incoherent and slurred with sleep.

“Come on, they’re completely numb.”

“So dramatic,” he grumbles. “I was almost asleep, you meanie.” He opens his eyes, squints against the light from the TV, and turns to look up at Jeongguk from where he’s still resting his head in Jeongguk’s lap. Jeongguk stares back down at him, looking just as tired as Taehyung feels. He’s trying to seem annoyed, but there’s a hint of an amused smile on the corner of his lips, and he can’t hide it from Taehyung.

“You can sleep on the bed, and I can hopefully get feeling back in my legs.”

Taehyung moves to wrap his arms around Jeongguk’s torso and bury his face in his stomach. “Never,” his words are muffled by Jeongguk’s shirt. “Too comfy.”

Jeongguk’s muscular thighs aren’t actually all that comfortable, but that doesn’t mean Taehyung doesn’t enjoy how it feels to lay on them.

Jeongguk rests a gentle hand on his side, fingers brushing against his ribs. “Don’t make me tickle you.”

“Okay,” he whines, moving to get up. “No need to bring out the big guns.”

Jeongguk laughs softly and runs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair in a silent apology. If any tickling happened, Taehyung would wake the whole dorm with his yelling and they’d have to face a lot of exhausted angry members.

“ Both of us will be aching tomorrow if we sleep on this couch,” Jeongguk reasons, and Taehyung knows he’s right.

He has no idea what time it is, but judging by the episode of Haikyuu!! that’s playing on the TV, it’s late and they only have a few short hours to sleep before they have to be up again. “I know, but ‘m too tired to move.” With an exhausted groan, he wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders and presses his face into the area between his neck and shoulder. His skin is warm and he smells like the body wash they share and Taehyung never wants to move. “Carry me?”

Jeongguk chuckles and wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist, pulling him flush against his body. “If I try to carry you with numb legs, we’ll both end up on the floor.” He’s not falling for Taehyung’s cute act this time, apparently.

Taehyung takes a long, deep breath and lets himself enjoy the brief peaceful moment before it’s cut short. The light from the TV flickers against the walls, but it’s muted and the dorm is mostly silent. Taehyung focuses on the sound of Jeongguk breathing, the thump of his pulse against Taehyung’s cheek, and he’s never loved anything more than this. Jeongguk’s skin is so warm, even through the thin material of their t-shirts. His fingers are buried in the hair at the back of Taehyung’s head, where he’s softly massaging his scalp. That sensation alone almost makes Taehyung fall asleep again.

It’s not often that they get to have moments like this, but when they do, Taehyung cherishes every second.

With extreme reluctance, he leans back and prepares to move. Jeongguk hooks his finger and thumb on Taehyung’s chin and moves forward to press their lips together. “Let’s go to bed, baby.”

A kiss and a pet name? Okay, maybe the cute act did work.

After one more warm kiss, Taehyung finally moves away so Jeongguk can stand. The younger man rises from the couch and stretches out his limbs as Taehyung goes digging in the couch cushions for his phone. As he predicted, he finds it jammed between two cushions and out of power.

With his phone in hand, he stands and latches onto Jeongguk’s arm as they shuffle to Jeongguk’s room. It’s practically their room by now, as it’s where Taehyung spends most nights sleeping and he’s slowly left a smattering of clothes and other random items of his own there. Most of his things are still in Namjoon’s room, but he rarely sleeps there. He now finds it difficult to sleep without Jeongguk to cling to. Pillows and stuffed animals aren’t enough; he’s been too spoiled by Jeongguk’s warmth.

When they reach the room, Jeongguk immediately flops down onto the bed and Taehyung plugs his phone in at the bedside table.

He ruffles Jeongguk’s messy hair, smiling when he sees the way his cheek is squished against the pillow. “Be right back, Gukkie.” The only response is a sleepy hum of acknowledgment.

He makes a brief trip to the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth, and when he comes back to the room, he slips out of his shorts but leaves the soft t-shirt on.

Just before he lies down, his eyes are drawn to his phone as it lights up with a message alert. He expects to see a reply from Seojoon, as he’s been up late filming a new drama most nights, but the contact is unknown.

“Stupid talentless whore. You’re nothing. I’ll fucking kill you and leave you in a ditch to rot.”

He goes utterly still, clutching at his phone with white knuckles as a cold trickle of fear drips down his spine. This is the fourth message in two weeks, and they’ve only gotten progressively nastier, more violent. The violent threats directed at him online are nothing compared to these. This scares him a little more each time. This person has his phone number. Not only his old one but now the new one that he got only a week ago.

He swallows against the lump in his throat and closes his eyes, trying to center his thoughts before he lets the fear get out of hand.

“Tae? You okay?”

The sound of Jeongguk’s voice rips him out of his thoughts and he opens his eyes to see the other man propped up on his elbow, hair a ruffled mess as he stares up at Taehyung with concern lacing his sleepy expression.

“I– Yeah, I’m fine,” he answers instinctively. Part of him wants to tell Jeongguk about the messages, but he can’t bring himself to do it now. Jeongguk is exhausted, they all are. He doesn’t want it to weigh on Jeongguk’s thoughts like it does his.

“You sure?”

“Mmhmm,” he assures Jeongguk as he quickly deletes the message, climbs into bed and burrows under the blankets. “Just a headache.”

The message leaves him feeling nauseous, and lying to Jeongguk about it makes him feel even worse. Cuddling up in Jeongguk’s arms eases the feeling a bit, but not entirely. He throws an arm over Jeongguk’s waist, entangles their legs, and tucks his head under Jeongguk’s chin, curling himself into the other boy for comfort. He feels Jeongguk kiss the top of his head and then tangle his fingers in his hair again, softly massaging his scalp in an effort to ease his apparent headache.

At least, like this, he can forget for a while.

-

The messages keep coming, and Taehyung also seems to be dealing with a bout of bad luck.

It’s small things at first, like his packed food disappearing and his stage clothes getting ripped. Then, one evening when they’re making their way backstage after a performance, he finds his open bag covered in bright red, sticky juice.

He stands stock still in front of his bag, his stomach dropping as he stares down at the red mess covering his clothes.

“Taehyungie? What’s up?” Hoseok comes to stand beside him, dropping a hand on his shoulder and following his gaze down. “Oh...”

There’s a lump in his throat that won’t allow him to speak. He knows if he tries to choke out a word, he’ll either yell or cry. It’s not the bag that’s the problem. He could care less about the bag.

“Maybe the staff accidentally spilled something?” Hoseok suggests. “It’s okay, we’ll take it all to a dry cleaner and they might be able to get it out.”

It’s then that Jimin joins them and sees the mess, and more importantly, the shirt that’s right at the top of his bag. “Oh, Tae...”

Jimin knows what the shirt means to him. He’d rather all of his expensive high-end clothing be ruined than this shirt. It’s an old t-shirt he’s had since high school, plain white with a cute brown bear face printed on the front. It was a birthday gift from his grandma.

“It’s okay, Tae, we’ll fix it,” Jimin assures him, placing a steadying hand on the small of his back. “We can look up tips on how to get stains out when we get home and we’ll keep trying until it comes out.” Hoseok has backed away by now, leaving them to talk in private after he realized it’s more serious than he assumed.

Taehyung blinks away the moisture in his eyes and puts on the best smile he can muster. He’s not about to cry over a stain. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It’ll come out.”

He does his best to wipe the outside of the bag with a towel and zips it up. “Sorry, I’m being dramatic.” The laugh that slips out of his mouth isn’t convincing, especially not to Jimin, but he tries anyway.

“Hey, no, it’s fine,” Jimin is quick to shut down his insecurity. “It’s important. And we’ll fix it.” Jimin gives a comforting squeeze to the back of his neck and smiles reassuringly.

It helps him feel a little better, but there’s still a pit of dread weighing heavy on him. On the ride home, he receives another text, and it only causes him to sink deeper into his sour mood.

“You’re a fucking disgrace. I’ll kill you and everything you love.”

-

Jeongguk stays at the studio late most nights to work on a song with Yoongi, and Taehyung finds it harder and harder to fall asleep without him there. He climbs into bed with Seokjin some nights, and it helps, but he doesn’t want to do it often and risk raising questions or worrying anyone.

As a result, he finds himself falling asleep at any opportunity– in the car, in the makeup chair, backstage, anywhere he can catch a few minutes of much-needed sleep. The few measly hours of sleep they get during comeback season already isn’t enough, and when he can’t manage to get any rest during that time, it results in him being more exhausted than ever.

Namjoon questions him about it a few times because he’s never been one to fall asleep so much backstage, but he brushes it off with excuses about the new choreography being hard on him.

Today, thankfully, he’s the first to have his hair, makeup and wardrobe done, so he takes the opportunity to search for a quiet room to take a 15-minute nap in. He leaves his phone in his bag, sick of seeing the almost daily hateful messages.

He eventually finds an empty conference room, where he pushes a few chairs together and uses his jacket as a pillow. He sets an alarm on his watch and conks out seconds after his head hits the makeshift pillow.

He falls into a deep, heavy sleep, but it doesn’t last long enough. When he wakes up, he doesn’t feel as rested as he had hoped. With a groggy groan, he shuts off the insistent beeping from his watch and almost falls off the chairs when he tries to stretch.

He stands up and yawns, stretching his arms above his head before he moves to put the chairs back. His legs feel like jelly as he makes his way to the door with his jacket in hand. Hopefully, he hasn’t ruined his hair too much or he’ll get an earful from the stylists and they’ll have to hurry to fix it before he goes on stage.

He pulls at the door and is immediately jerked to attention when it doesn’t open. He twists the knob again, but it still doesn’t budge and he can feel the panic building in the back of his throat.

It’s locked. From the outside. He’s locked in here.

The door was still cracked open right before he fell asleep. How the hell did it get shut and locked in that short amount of time, with no one noticing him sleeping in here?

He instinctively reaches for his pocket, where his phone should be, but with heavy dread, he remembers that he left it in his bag.

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. He shouldn’t panic. That wouldn’t end well. People will be walking down the hallways, right? Or they’ll come looking for him when he doesn’t show up five minutes before the performance.

Fuck, the performance. He’ll be in so much trouble if he’s late to the recording.

With no hesitation, he starts banging on the door and yelling for help.

“Hello! Is anyone out there!? I’m locked in here!”

It’s at least a way to channel the panic that’s rising with each minute that passes.

He doesn’t stop, even after ten minutes have passed and the pre-recording is supposed to be starting. They have to be looking for him now, and he can bet Namjoon is livid. He’s lucky it’s not a live broadcast, but it’s still extremely irresponsible to be late for any kind of performance.

“Damn it!” He yells through gritted teeth, his fist hitting the door even harder as the frustration suffocates him. “Come on!”

How the hell did he let this happen? He’s an idiot for running off just to get a few measly minutes of sleep. This wouldn’t be happening if he’d just sucked it up and stayed put.

Just when he’s beginning to lose hope, he hears voices outside the door and the click of the lock from the outside. He backs away from the door and almost collapsed in relief when he sees Namjoon push it open. Angry or not, he’s a sight for sore eyes right now.

“What the hell, Taehyung?”

Namjoon uses a firm but still gentle hand to guide him out of the room and down the hall. They can argue along the way, they’re late enough as it is.

“I don’t know what happened,” Taehyung replies as they rush down the hall. “I got locked in there, somehow, and I didn’t have my phone so I couldn’t even call you.”

Namjoon sighs, obviously trying to reign in his frustration. “We’ll talk about it later. Let’s just get to the recording. The staff is already pissed.”

-

Taehyung stares down at his fried rice, his appetite non-existent. He moves it around his bowl to at least make it seem like he’s eating. Everyone is too absorbed in their own food and conversation to really notice.

They’re having a late dinner at the dorm because none of them had much of a chance to eat the entire day. It’s a rare night when they’re all together, eating around the coffee table in the living room while they watch a movie. The room is dimly lit, and the press of Jeongguk against his side is warm, but he still feels like there’s something weighing down on him.

He jerks to attention when Jeongguk elbows his side. “Hey, you okay? Not hungry?” Jeongguk eyes his almost full bowl of food and looks back to him with a hint of concern.

“Oh, um, yeah, I just– I forgot to grab a drink,” and thankfully it’s not a complete lie. It may not be the reason he isn’t eating, but he did actually forget to get a drink.

“I’ll grab you one,” Jeongguk moves to get up but Taehyung stops him with a hand on his arm.

“No, it’s fine, you eat. I’ll get my drink.”

He can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on him as he goes to the kitchen, but thankfully he doesn’t say anything else or try to follow him. He knows Jeongguk has been worried about him recently, but Taehyung either brushes it off or uses the stress of a comeback as an excuse. All the members have been giving him sympathetic looks since he was scolded for being late.

He still can’t bring himself to tell any of them what’s really going on. The nasty texts have been consistent, but connecting his stream of ‘bad luck’ to them seems like too much of a stretch and it’s making him feel like he’s just being paranoid.

Just after he grabs a bottle of water and closes the fridge, he hears footsteps. He turns around and opens his mouth to tell Jeongguk that he’s fine, but he’s surprised to see Namjoon coming through the doorway.

He sends a small smile in Namjoon’s direction as he shuts the fridge. He’s expecting Namjoon to make his way to the fridge or the cabinets until he sees the look on Namjoon’s face and watches him lean against the doorway. He knows by now that this is Namjoon’s typical ‘let’s talk’ stance.

“Hyung, I’m sorry about today,” he starts, beating Namjoon to the chase. He’s already apologized but he feels the need to give Namjoon a proper apology in private. As the leader, he receives the brunt of criticism when any of them make mistakes. “It was stupid of me to run off like that–“

“Hey, no, I already told you it’s fine,” Namjoon cuts in, waving it off. “It’s done and over with. Just don’t run off without your phone like that again, especially right before a performance. I was worried when we couldn’t find you.”

“I won’t,” he promises. Namjoon really doesn’t seem to be angry about it, and that almost makes him feel guiltier.

“That isn’t really what I wanted to talk to you about,” Namjoon steps into the kitchen and in front of the counter in front of Taehyung, leaning back against it with his arms crossed.

Taehyung raises his brow and waits, even though he already has a good idea of what Namjoon will say.

“I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay, because I can tell that you’re not.”

Taehyung gives a humorless laugh, “Am I that obvious?”

“No, Tae, I just– I care enough to notice,” Namjoon shrugs. “We all do.”

Taehyung sighs and his conflicting thoughts only work to give him a headache. He hates that he’s made them all worry. They already have their own stress to deal with, they don’t need his on top of it. They would hear him out, of course, they would. But he knows there would be a huge ordeal if he were to show them the texts, and they really don’t need that on their plate right now. He’s caused Namjoon enough frustration today, and he’s just not ready to add to that.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Namjoon says as he steps forward and pulls Taehyung into a warm hug. “But please promise you’ll come to me when you can’t handle things on your own anymore.”

Taehyung melts into the hug, wrapping his arms around Namjoon in return and nodding against his shoulder. “Promise,” he says. He lingers there for a moment, not wanting to pull away from the best comfort he’s felt in days. “Thanks, Hyung.”

-

“Take two minutes and we’ll go one more time!”

Taehyung slips his jacket halfway down and fans himself with his hands. They don’t have to give their all in a rehearsal but it’s still painfully hot and he’s got layers of clothes on.

“Tired already, Hyung?” Jeongguk teases, scaring the living daylights out of Taehyung when he comes out of nowhere and pokes his tummy.

“Punk,” Taehyung growls, punching him in the arm.

Jeongguk just laughs, cute teeth on display, and pokes him again. Taehyung can’t stop the small smile that spreads on his lips.

“You’re mean. I’m dying of heat,” he grumbles with a pout.

Jeongguk’s rolls his eyes, a hint of fondness in his expression. “I’ll get water.”

“You’re my favorite, Jeonggukkie,” Taehyung sing-songs as he watches Jeongguk take off toward the edge of the stage to grab a bottle of water.

He feels good today, better than he has in a while. The texts haven’t stopped. In fact, he received one earlier today. But the members have kept him exceptionally chipper all day, being playful despite how busy and tired they all are. Nice days like this help distract him from everything else that’s been going on.

He slips his jacket off all the way and stretches his arms out, groaning as he stretches the sore muscles.

“Taehyung!”

Everything happens in an instant.

His gaze shoots up when he hears his name being called, and his eyes fall to Seokjin, who’s standing closest to him. In a split second, Seokjin looks to something above him and then back down at him, his expression panicked. Before Taehyung can look up, or ask what’s going on, he hears the sound of metal crunching and Seokjin bolts in his direction, leaping into the air with his arms outstretched.

His eyes squeeze shut on instinct as Seokjin collides with him and they go tumbling into the stage. There’s a loud crash, a flash of light that Taehyung sees even through his closed eyelids, and then the back of his head hits the floor painfully and the breath is knocked out of him.

He opens his eyes to see Seokjin above him, mouth moving as he frantically speaks, but Taehyung can’t hear anything through the ringing in his ears. He’s never seen Seokjin so panicked before.

His head is spinning and he feels like he can’t get enough air in his lungs, and he’s so confused .

He can feel the thump of frantic footsteps on the stage and then all the members and some staff are crowded around him, their worried faces all blending together as they stand over him. He can feel more hands on him, then, touching his chest and neck and tapping softly on his cheek. They’re all talking but the ringing still hasn’t gone away and it all sounds muffled.

“Taehyung!”

It’s Jimin’s voice that finally breaks through, and Jeongguk’s hand on his cheek. Taehyung sucks in a large breath and his chest burns slightly. His heart is racing and his gaze roams around frantically as he struggles to figure out what the hell happened.

When he attempts to sit up, there are hands on his shoulders that slow him down and gently guide him into a sitting position. “Back up, guys. Give him some space,” he hears Namjoon say.

There’s some shuffling of feet as they back away, but no one goes very far. Jeongguk and Jimin are both kneeling on his left and Namjoon is on his right. All of them still look beyond frightened, faces pale and expressions are drawn tight.

He feels Jimin’s hands on his cheeks, cradling his face and turning his head so that he’s facing him and looking into his eyes. “Tae, can you hear me?”

Taehyung blinks then nods slowly. His head is pounding and he’s still in shock, but he can hear just fine now.

There’s a hand on the back of his head, fingers prodding the tender spot that hit the stage. “No blood,” he hears Jeongguk say, a hint of relief in his voice.

“Wha–” Taehyung tries to speak, but his voice cracks and he has to clear his throat. “What happened?”

“The light fixture,” Hoseok starts, his expression uncharacteristically grim. “It was right above you and it broke off and fell and then–” his voice shakes slightly as he recounts the events. “If Seokjin hadn’t pushed you out of the way–“

And sure enough, when Taehyung looks, there’s a broken light fixture right where Taehyung had been standing, broken glass and pieces of metal scattered all around it.

He hears Namjoon and their manager speaking in low voices, and when he catches the words ‘hospital’ and ‘ambulance’ he whips around to protest. “No, no hospitals. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine , Tae,” Jeongguk protests from beside him. “You were almost crushed by that thing,” he says vehemently, pointing at the broken light fixture. There’s no calming Jeongguk down, he can already tell. The other man is visibly shaken by the event.

“But I wasn’t,” Taehyung insists. “I’m okay. I’m not injured, just a little shocked.”

With a quick glance at the expressions around him, he can tell that no one believes it. But he really doesn’t feel like he’s injured, just a little sore with a minor headache. His hands won’t stop trembling, but that’s more from being shaken up from the shock than being hurt.

The next hour or so passes by in a flurry. He does manage to convince everyone that an ambulance and a hospital aren’t necessary, but they bring a nurse in to check him out just in case. As he predicted, no real injuries, not even a concussion. “Just a bump,” the nurse declares, and they all breathe a sigh of relief.

Taehyung is in a bit of a daze through the entire thing. It still isn’t sinking in, even after he watches the staff clean up the broken light fixture from the stage. Right where he had been standing.

Their manager and Namjoon are both livid and making poor attempts at reigning it in. An accident like this surely means some kind of conflict that their company will have to deal with.

Their manager tells Taehyung to stay home for a few days, and then they all head home for the night despite Taehyung’s insistence that they go on with the performance. The company is going to have to explain the cancellation of the performance and Taehyung’s absence in the next few, and it’ll be best if they go about everything carefully to avoid criticism.

The members stick to him like glue as they make their way out, one of them on each side and the rest surrounding him from all sides. They’re like a group of personal bodyguards, and he finds it an incredible overkill, but appreciates it nonetheless, especially since he still feels so out of it.

When they climb in the van, Yoongi sits on one side, arm around the back of his seat, but he doesn’t overcrowd Taehyung’s personal space. His care and overprotection have always been subtler, but still constant and strong. Jeongguk, on the other hand, sits pressed against his side, clutching his hand as he sits up stiffly the entire ride home. His mouth is set in a permanent frown and his brow furrowed. It’s been quite a while since Taehyung has seen him so stressed, and it kills him to know that he’ll probably be like this for the rest of the night, if not days.

Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder and brushes his thumb along the back of Jeongguk’s hand, attempting to provide some kind of comfort. He hears the other man let out a sigh, but he doesn’t relax completely.

He doesn’t even remember falling asleep but the next thing he knows, there’s a gentle hand shaking his shoulder, “Taehyungie,” he hears Yoongi say. “We’re home.”

Taehyung’s eyelashes flutter and he moves to lift his head just as he hears Jeongguk speak. “Hyung, no, it’s fine. Let him sleep. I’ll carry him.”

Taehyung rubs the sleep from his eyes, “‘m fine. I can walk. You’re being dramatic.”

But, of course, Jeongguk doesn’t listen and moves his arms under Taehyung to pick him up anyway. Familiar strong arms lift him from the backseat of the van and carry him to the entrance.

Taehyung huffs, but otherwise, doesn’t have the energy to protest. He doesn’t fall back asleep though, just closes his eyes as he leans his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder and listens to the quiet murmur of voices around him.

They settle in the living room, Jeongguk carefully placing him down on the couch as though he’s made of glass, and they turn on one of Taehyung’s favorite movies without him even needing to ask.

Jimin presses an ice pack to the back of his head and hands him some medicine and a glass a water to help with the headache. He downs the pills and looks up at all of them. “You guys really don’t have to–“

“Hey, none of that,” Seokjin cuts in before he can finish. “Let us be overbearing, just for tonight, hmm?” He brushes the hair from Taehyung’s forehead and looks down at him with a tender smile.

Taehyung sighs, “Yeah, okay,” he gives in easily, returning the smile.

This is what they do, he supposes. Take care of each other. After Yoongi got his appendix removed, they waited on him hand and foot when they weren’t out promoting. He got so sick of it that he locked them out of his room at one point.

Hopefully, it wouldn’t go that far with Taehyung, since he isn’t actually injured.

Seokjin and Yoongi move to the kitchen to make Taehyung’s favorite food for dinner and the rest of them settle on the couch to watch the movie. Hoseok sits on one side, places a pillow behind him and adjusting the ice pack so he’s more comfortable. Jeongguk is on his other side, uncharacteristically silent. The rest of them try to make conversation, lighten the atmosphere a bit, but Jeongguk doesn’t join in. He stays silent as he holds onto Taehyung’s hand with a steady grip, and stares down at his lap or up at the TV with glazed eyes and his mouth set in a straight line.

Taehyung squeezes his fingers and he blinks as he comes to attention, then looks over in Taehyung’s direction. Taehyung tilts his head in a silent questioning, but Jeongguk just shakes his head and gives a small, forced smile.

Jeongguk’s silence concerns him for the rest of the evening, but he tries not to make it obvious that he’s bothered by something or someone might misinterpret it for him not feeling well.

So he talks like everything is normal, eats his dinner with vigor and doesn’t question it when Jeongguk sticks to his side even more than usual.

They all seem to feel a little better by the time everyone is ready to go to bed. Seeing Taehyung eat and speak with enthusiasm puts some of their worries to rest and they look less frazzled by the time they bid him good night.

“Get plenty of sleep, Taetae,” Jimin demands, pinching his cheek playfully. “You need it.”

“I will,” Taehyung pulls him into a hug, and Jimin relaxes in his arms. He can tell Jimin has been tense and worried, but holding back his emotions for the sake of keeping calm, and Taehyung feels horrible for worrying him so much. “Promise.”

Jimin lingers for a moment when they pull away, and Taehyung gives a sleepy, but genuine smile. This seems to placate him and he pats Taehyung’s cheek lightly before he goes to his room to sleep.

Out of the corner of his eye, Taehyung notices the tail end of a murmured conversation between Namjoon and Jeongguk in the kitchen doorway. Just as Taehyung is making his way over, Namjoon pats Jeongguk’s shoulder and they nod in silent confirmation. Taehyung doesn’t have to be a genius to know that they were talking about him, but he isn’t surprised nor offended. It isn’t unusual for all of them to discuss the well-being of another member, and he knows they mean well.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Tae,” a Namjoon ruffles his hair fondly as he passes by him. “You wake any of us up if you don’t feel well, okay?”

“I will,” Taehyung promises. “Good night, Hyung.”

Namjoon goes to bed, and that leaves Taehyung and Jeongguk as the last ones still awake.

Jeongguk takes his hand and they make their way to his room in silence. It’s not exactly an uncomfortable silence, but Taehyung can feel that there’s something lingering, that Jeongguk has a lot on his mind.

When the door shuts behind them, Taehyung stops right there and tugs at Jeongguk’s hand, “Hey,” he calls softly.

Jeongguk looks back at him, his expression holding so many suppressed emotions. “Talk to me,” Taehyung tells him because he can’t bear to see Jeongguk like this for another moment.

He leans back against the wall beside him and fiddles with Jeongguk’s fingers as he waits for the other man to speak.

Jeongguk is silent as he leans forward and drops his forehead onto Taehyung’s shoulder, and then, finally, he releases a deep trembling sigh.

“I was so scared,” Jeongguk admits, and his hold on Taehyung’s hand tightens. He sounds so vulnerable like he’s a scared fifteen-year-old kid again. The sound of it causes a deep ache in Taehyung’s chest. He never wants to hear Jeongguk this broken.

With a gentle hand, he runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. He can feel Jeongguk shaking slightly and it pains him to know that Jeongguk is this upset. He would’ve pulled him aside much earlier if he’d known it was this bad. “I’m fine, Gukkie. I promise I’m not hurt.”

Jeongguk lifts his head to look at Taehyung, and his eyes are wet but no tears have fallen yet. He lifts his arms to cradle Taehyung’s face in his hands and looks directly into his eyes, the action tender and loving. But the seriousness in Jeongguk’s gaze throws him off guard. “You could’ve been seriously hurt. You could’ve died , Taehyung.”

“I–” he tries to speak but the words get caught in his throat. He feels like he’s been walking through a daze the entire night, but Jeongguk’s words, his strong emotions, are now causing the reality of the situation to sink in.

He’s perfectly fine, no serious injuries, only a minor headache, but if no one had seen the light fixture before it fell, who knows what would’ve happened to him. And the thought does terrify him a little, makes him feel like his blood has frozen in his veins.

“And I was halfway across the fucking stage. I couldn’t even get to you in time. I just watched it fall and you were right there and I didn’t know if you were okay–” his voice is strangled, trembling slightly as he holds back tears, and Taehyung can’t take it.

“No, no, no, stop that,” Taehyung cuts in, touching the back of Jeongguk’s hand that’s still cradling his cheek. “Don’t you dare turn this around and make it your fault. It was an accident , and it was scary. But Seokjin was there, he saved me and I’m fine. Don’t torture yourself by thinking about what could’ve happened.”

Jeongguk says nothing, just stares into Taehyung’s eyes, his expression still twisted into something painful. His eyes are wet, but no tears have fallen, and Taehyung is at least grateful for that. He hates seeing Jeongguk cry.

Jeongguk leans forward and tilts Taehyung face slightly to connect their lips in a kiss that holds everything Jeongguk wants to say. It’s slow, tender, but holds a hint of desperation. Taehyung wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s middle and pulls him close, so he can press their bodies together and Jeongguk can feel every breath he takes. Jeongguk still holds his face in his hands as though he’s made of the finest porcelain and Taehyung will fall away and break if he lets go.

Jeongguk eventually pulls away, kisses his lips one last time before he rests his forehead against Taehyung’s.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk mumbles, brushing his thumb along Taehyung’s cheekbone.

“Don’t be sorry,” Taehyung replies. “I get it.” And he does. He hadn’t thought about how it must’ve felt for Jeongguk to see that, to think about him being hurt or even dead. If it were the other way around, he’d feel the same way.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Jeongguk kisses the corner of his mouth and pulls away from his hold, takes his hand and leads him to bed.

They cuddle up under the covers, Jeongguk’s chest presses against his back and an arm wrapped around his middle. He can feel Jeongguk burrow his face in the back of his neck, careful of the bump on his head.

It’s a comfort they both desperately need. Taehyung is relieved to feel how relaxed Jeongguk is against him. Hopefully, most of Jeongguk’s worries and fears have been put to rest, and he can get some sleep.

The emotional and physical whirlwind that Taehyung has been through today has exhausted him, and there’s nowhere he’d rather be than in Jeongguk’s arms.

-

When Taehyung wakes up in the morning and checks his phone, he decides it’s finally time to tell someone.

“Disgusting bitch, fucking die already.”

“Still alive? What a shame.”

-

He waits for the right opportunity, but it doesn’t seem to come.

After a few days off, he returns to activities and they’re all pulled back into busy schedules that consume every hour of the day and leave them exhausted. There are a few times when he comes close to telling one of them, but he always chokes on his words.

He’s admittedly terrified, constantly on edge and watching his back for anything or anyone suspicious. Nothing else happens, aside from the usual texts, but he’s frightened at the thought of the texts actually being connected to what happened.

Part of him thinks he’s simply being paranoid, looking too deep into things and seeing something that isn’t there. But what if he’s not? What if it’s more than just hateful texts and it has escalated into something more dangerous?

A week passes and he decides he’ll talk to Namjoon after a big live performance they’re having for Mnet during the weekend. Most of their activities will have calmed down by then and it’ll be easier to find the time (and muster the courage) to talk about it.

The weekend comes very suddenly and before Taehyung knows it, they’re all essentially ready for the performance, just making a few final touches on clothes and makeup backstage.

“Taehyung.”

He’s joking around with Jimin when Yoongi calls out his name, voice hard and cold.

Taehyung immediately goes stiff at the sound of it. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard that tone of voice directed at him before. Sure, Yoongi can be grumpy at times, but even when he gripes at them to leave him alone, there’s no real malice behind it.

This, however, is something far more serious, and Taehyung is almost too scared to turn around.

He does anyway, because he can’t avoid it for long, and part of him does wonder what could make Yoongi sound so furious.

“Hyung?” He questions as he turns around, glancing over to where Yoongi stands at the makeup counter.

Yoongi doesn’t look up, but Taehyung can see from where he’s standing that Yoongi’s expression is dark. When he follows Yoongi’s gaze down, the realization hits him, and he feels the blood drain from his face.

His phone.

Yoongi stares down at Taehyung’s phone, probably reading every message that Taehyung has yet to delete. Taehyung was careless, left it face-up on the counter without even considering that he might receive more texts or that someone would snoop.

“What is this?” Yoongi lifts the phone and stares at Taehyung with piercing eyes.

Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, but can’t seem to find any words. He’s frozen with shock, mind racing as he tries to figure out what to do. He didn’t prepare for this.

The confrontation has caught everyone’s attention at this point, and they’re all looking back and forth between him and Yoongi, visibly confused.

“What’s going on?” Namjoon moves to where Yoongi stands and takes the phone from his hand, looking for himself. Yoongi’s gaze doesn’t stray from Taehyung. He’s angry, that much is obvious, but his eyes look pained .

“I don’t know,” Yoongi finally says, voice strained. “Taehyung will have to explain that.”

The rest of the members all crowd around Namjoon to peek at his phone, taking turns to read the messages. They all seem to have similar reactions of shock and anger, looking up at Taehyung a few times as they scroll through. Taehyung hasn’t deleted them in a while, so there’s plenty to read.

Taehyung bows his head in shame.

“I didn’t–“ he finally speaks, voice thick with emotion. “I planned to tell you. It’s not that big of a deal, I can handle it.”

“Not a big deal?” Hoseok says disbelievingly. “Tae, this is horrible. These are death threats.”

“People write that kind of stuff about us all the time,” Taehyung retorts. He knows the messages look horrible, but he’s been handling it. Sort of. He just doesn’t want to cause all this drama right before they go on stage. “It comes with the job.”

“Bullshit. This is different,” Jimin cuts in, inhaling sharply through his nose. He’s all tense shoulders and clenched fists, and Taehyung can tell he’s pissed . “You’re getting death threats to your private number.”

Namjoon steps over to him and places a hand on his upper arm, his expression grave as he stares Taehyung down.

“How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know, a month? I was planning to tell you after this weekend, I swear.”

“A month?” Namjoon says incredulously. “You can’t just–” he cuts himself off and steps back, running his hand through his styled hair with a frustrated sigh. “I know you were probably scared, but you can’t just keep these kinds of things to yourself. This is dangerous, Taehyung-ah.”

“I– I’m sorry,” Taehyung whispers, tears welling in his eyes. “I know it was stupid, but I knew you’d freak out once I told you, and I didn’t want you to have one more thing to worry about during promotion.”

He hates crying, hates feeling so helpless. But any issues with the members get him so easily worked up. All he wanted was to avoid stressing them out or worrying them, but now he feels like he’s broken their trust by keeping this from them.

“Of course we’d worry, Tae. How could we not?” Namjoon wraps an arm around him and pulls him into a hug. “But that’s not your fault. That’s not on you. It’s on whoever the hell is sending you these messages.”

“The light fixture,” he hears Jeongguk say from where he still stands next to Yoongi. He’s been unusually quiet until now.

Taehyung pulls away from Namjoon’s embrace and they all look to Jeongguk, who’s staring down at Taehyung’s phone.

“What?” Seokjin questions from beside him.

Jeongguk looks up at Taehyung with wide eyes. “The light fixture wasn’t an accident, was it?”

Taehyung feels his blood run cold, and the room falls frighteningly silent.

Jeongguk was the only one to catch on to that possibility, but the rest of them now seem to be putting two and two together. Taehyung swallows past the lump in his throat and stares right back at Jeongguk. “I don’t think so,” he admits.

There’s a whispered “oh, god” from Seokjin and they all turn to look at Taehyung with matching expressions of shock. He can only imagine that they’re feeling the same level of dread he felt when he made the connection.

Just as Yoongi opens his mouth to speak, the door opens and they all jump. But it’s just a staff member who announces a rushed, “Five minutes until you go on,” before leaving the room again.

Jimin turns to Namjoon in a panic. “What do we do?”

Taehyung cuts in before Namjoon can answer, “We perform and talk about this later.”

“What?” Jeongguk steps forward, his shoulders rigid and his expression furious. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s being broadcasted live! We can’t just cancel five minutes before our performance,” Taehyung argues.

“We can if you’re in danger!”

“I’ll be fine !”

“What if something happens again?”

“We don’t even know for sure if– “

Yoongi steps up beside them, holding up a hand on each side to shut them up.

“That’s enough. We don’t have time to argue about this.” It shuts them both up, but Jeongguk still looks ready to argue at any second. “Namjoon?” Yoongi questions, looking to their leader.

Namjoon tries to seem calm and collected, but Taehyung can see how conflicted he really is. “We’ll perform,” he finally says, after a beat of silence.

“But Hyung–!” Jeongguk protests.

Namjoon drops a hand on his shoulder and cuts him off before he can continue. “We’ll talk to Sejin-hyung and the staff, so they’re aware of the situation. They can keep an eye out for anything suspicious and make sure Taehyung isn’t harmed.”

Jeongguk keeps his mouth tightly shut, nostrils flaring as he tries to contain his objections. He clearly isn’t happy about the ‘compromise.’

“I know it’s not ideal, but it’s all we can do. We can’t back out of the performance now,” Namjoon reasons, always the logical one.

Jeongguk still seems to object to the decision, but there’s not much he can do. He doesn’t try to protest again as Namjoon instructs them all on what to do, but Taehyung can see how tense he is.

“Yoongi-hyung and Seokjin-hyung, you guys help me alert the staff. The rest of you get in positions and wait for us. Taehyung is not to be left alone for even a second.”

Namjoon takes Taehyung’s phone from Jeongguk’s hand and the other two move to follow him.

“Stay safe,” Yoongi murmurs as he brushes by Taehyung, giving his hand a squeeze and glancing up at him with concern.

“Of course, Hyung,” Taehyung replies as he musters a close-mouthed smile.

Yoongi leaves with Namjoon and Seokjin, and Hoseok turns to the other three of them, his gaze lingering on Taehyung, “Everything will be fine. The staff will take care of things, and we’ll all keep an eye out too.”

Taehyung is grateful for the genuine optimism in Hoseok‘s voice. After a week full of anxiety, and being hit with this confrontation, he could use all the positivity he can get. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s more worried about the rest of them getting through this performance than he is about anything bad actually happening to him. Jeongguk looks ready to punch the next person who gets in his way. He can’t remember the last time he saw Jeongguk so angry.

“Come on, Jimin. Let’s go get in position,” Hoseok look to Jimin and jerks his head toward the door. “You have about a minute until you two need to be out there, okay?” He says to Taehyung and Jeongguk.

“We’re going to have a long talk about this after the performance,” Jimin says sternly as he looks to Taehyung, and then pats his cheek with a gentle hand. “No more secrets, okay?”

Taehyung nods and gives a small smile despite the guilt that weighs down on him.

Jimin leaves the room with Hoseok, and Taehyung is left in a heavy silence with Jeongguk, who is still barely containing his emotions.

“I knew something wasn’t right,” Jeongguk says, breaking the silence quickly. “I knew it but I didn’t want to push you.” He’s looking down at the floor, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Jeongguk never gets worked up like this. If anything, he’s usually quiet and reclusive when he’s upset.

“Hey,” Taehyung steps closer to him and taps him under the chin, urging him to look up. He does, reluctantly. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you, it was stupid of me not to. But I’m okay .”

“You’re not–” Jeongguk starts angrily and then takes a deep breath to calm himself. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re fine anymore, so please, just stop ,” Jeongguk places a hand on his cheek, thumb brushing softly against his skin, and Taehyung feels those words hit him hard. He leans into the touch, chest aching as he looks back at Jeongguk, sees the way the anger has drained from him and has been replaced with glassy eyes and a pained expression.

“Okay,” Taehyung admits. “Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I have been scared for a while. But I need to keep it together so we can get through this performance, and then we can deal with all of this later.”

Jeongguk hesitates for a moment, searches Taehyung’s expression for something, and then finally he sighs, shoulders dropping. “You’re right, let’s go. And the moment we’re done, we’re finding this psycho.”

Taehyung takes Jeongguk’s hand from his cheek and lowers it, linking their fingers and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He nods in agreement and then they hurry out of the room together and head for the stage.

-

They all get in position and are given bottles of water from the staff right before going on. Taehyung’s mouth feels dry and his limbs are shaky with nerves, so he chugs half of it and presses the cold bottle against the warm skin on the back of his neck. They haven’t even started but he’s already sweating.

Manager Sejin comes up beside him and gives a comforting pat on the shoulder, tells him everything will be fine and he’s there to keep all of them safe. He’s always been someone that they can rely on, and it does help Taehyung feel a little more at ease.

When the time comes, Taehyung steps onto the stage and goes through the motions.

He puts forth as much emotion as he can. They all do. It’s not as though they’ve never had to perform while feeling burdened by personal matters.

He tries to throw himself into the performance to distract himself from his thoughts, and it works at certain points, but there’s no way he can’t notice the obvious glances that the other members throw at him. They’re trying their best to stay focused too, but they’re very obviously still worried and somewhat distracted. Jeongguk, especially, keeps a close eye on him, but he’s not exactly surprised and wouldn’t expect much less.

A bout of dizziness hits him near the end of the first song, and he knows it’s a result of his nerves. His limbs feel weak and his stomach is starting to churn, so he’s relieved when the song ends and they can run backstage for even just a thirty-second break before the next song.

When they get backstage, Taehyung chugs more water in hopes that it’ll settle the nausea that’s building in his stomach. He hasn’t had anxiety affect him this heavily in a while, and it’s throwing his focus off.

“Everything seems good so far,” Namjoon says from beside him as a stylist touches up his makeup. He takes a long sip from his water and eyes Taehyung. “You okay?” He asks, reaching forward to touch Taehyung’s cheek with the back of his hand. He feels cold against Taehyung’s warm cheek and Taehyung closes his eyes at the sensation. “Your cheeks are red.”

“‘m fine,” Taehyung assures him. “It’s just boiling out there.”

He hates whoever’s bright idea it was to have a live concert outside in this heat.

“Be careful,” Namjoon warns. “I don’t want you getting heat stroke.”

Namjoon might be onto something with his heat stroke warning. Taehyung feels unbearably hot and dizzy, and his stomach still churns with nausea. But there’s a staff member who’s fanning him and he’s taken off his jacket for the next song (screw it, he doesn’t care if the stylist gets angry), so he’s hoping to ward off any risk of heat stroke.

“Staying hydrated, Hyung,” he assures Namjoon, lifting his bottle of water.

Namjoon gives him a smile and ruffles his hair before they both get ready to head back on stage for the second (and, thankfully, last) song.

-

Taehyung seems like he’s struggling more and more by the second.

They’re barely into the next song and Jeongguk can tell there’s something wrong. Taehyung’s face is flushed and he’s sweating through his shirt, his movements sluggish and sloppy. It could be the heat, but the rest of them don’t seem near as bad. And he doesn’t think it’s because of fear or anxiety. Taehyung has never been one to let that affect his performance so much.

Jeongguk keeps an even closer eye on him than before, his anxiety eating away at him the more he sees Taehyung struggle. He thought he noticed Taehyung looking a little worn out after the first song and he’s beating himself up for not demanding that Taehyung stay backstage for the second.

He’s so distracted that he misses a few steps and his voice cracks, but he could care less at this point. He usually puts his all into his performance, but he’s never been so eager for a performance to end than he is now.

They’re only about a minute into the song when he sees Taehyung stumble. He feels his heart lurch as he watches Taehyung’s eyes flutter and his knees buckle right before he starts falling. Jeongguk is there in a flash, his feet instinctively carrying him to Taehyung the second he sees Taehyung start to go down. He and Hoseok are the closest, and they both latch onto Taehyung before he can bash his head against the stage.

Jeongguk rips out his inner ear and the crowd and the music are still echoing loudly, but all he can seem to hear is his own heart thumping rapidly in his ears. He’s got an arm wrapped around Taehyung’s waist, Hoseok has got a hold of him too, and they’re both trying to lift his limp form so they can get backstage.

The other members seem to have noticed by now, and they all stop performing and Jeongguk feels the thud of their footsteps as they come rushing over just as some of the staff backstage come too. The music comes to an abrupt halt and the crowd’s concerned yells grow louder, adding to the panic.

He can feel how hot Taehyung’s skin is even through his shirt and the way his ribcage shudders with each rapid breath. He feels completely limp and weak in Jeongguk’s arms and Jeongguk wants to scream because Taehyung’s eyes are still closed even as they start moving him across the stage and it’s terrifying to see him this way.

He wants to do something more but right now there’s nothing to fight off, no physical being to protect Taehyung from. So, he focuses on getting Taehyung somewhere safe because that’s all he can do right now.

Everything is a mess of yelling and frantic movements but Jeongguk’s focus is only on Taehyung, and each breath that he struggles to take.

All of a sudden, Taehyung goes still and his knees lock in place, stopping Jeongguk and Hoseok from moving forward. Jeongguk feels him jerk violently in his arms and then lurch forward, taking both of them with him as he kneels on the stage and vomits.

“Taehyung!” Jeongguk hears himself yell, brushing the hair from Taehyung’s face to see his eyes flutter and struggle to open.

“J’ngguk,” he slurs. “Can’t–” he cuts off with a whimper and squeezes his eyes shut again.

Everyone around them is yelling orders but Jeongguk blocks them out, can’t focus on anything but Taehyung right now. “It’s okay, Tae, come on. We’ve gotta move, you’ll be alright.”

They manage to stand up about half way but barely get a few feet away from the pile of vomit before Taehyung can’t move again. He goes stiff once again, but this time he’s ripped from Jeongguk’s hold as he falls to the floor, and Jeongguk feels his heart drop in fear.

Jeongguk’s hands, along with others, reach down to grab him again, but something isn’t right.

“Wait, stop! Stop!” Jeongguk yells as he stares down at Taehyung’s form. “Something’s wrong!”

Taehyung’s body has gone rigid, but he’s shaking slightly, his limbs moving in unnatural jerking motions. His eyes are open, but they’re glassy and unfocused. “What’s happening!?”

One of the staff members drops down beside him and takes one look at Taehyung before she blurts out, “He’s having a seizure,” with barely concealed panic.

“What!?” He hears Jimin yell from behind him.

Jeongguk’s knees turn to jelly, and cold, icy fear trickles from the roots of his hair to the soles of his feet. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.

But one look at Taehyung glossy eyes reminds him that it is and Jeongguk feels like he’s choking on his fear.

“Help me turn him on his side and someone call an ambulance, now!” The woman orders, her voice impressively steady. She turns to look at the members. “I know this is scary, but he’ll be okay. I have some training in nursing so I can help until the ambulance gets here.”

Her reassurances don't put Jeongguk at ease. He can’t stop staring down at Taehyung’s still seizing body, frozen in shock. It’s the most terrifying thing he’s ever witnessed. His hands are shaking and his ears are ringing and he can’t seem to get enough air in his lungs, but he can’t afford to have a fucking panic attack. Taehyung needs him, he can’t fall apart right now.

Hoseok and Yoongi help turn Taehyung on his side with careful hands, but the seizing continues and Taehyung still looks like he’s not there. And the woman isn’t doing anything to help Taehyung, to fix this– this– seizure . Why isn’t she doing anything?

Jeongguk is going out of his mind with worry and he wants to do something but he doesn’t know what to do.

It’s complete chaos around them, with half the staff running around and the other half blocking Taehyung from view, and the crowd going insane as security tries to calm them.

“Why the hell is he having a seizure?” Namjoon yells voice strangled. “What’s wrong with him?”

The woman doesn’t answer immediately. She looks down at Taehyung, studies him, then glances back at the vomit that’s still on the stage floor.

“Did he seem ill?”

“Yes,” Namjoon says. “But I thought it was just the heat.”

“When did he start acting strange?”

“I don’t know exactly, maybe after the first song? Or near the end of it?”

“Has he eaten or drank anything?”

There’s a beat of silence as everything thinks. “Just water, as far as I can remember,” Seokjin answers.

“Someone bring me the bottle,” she orders, and Namjoon goes running backstage to grab it.

Jeongguk still can’t move his gaze from Taehyung, watching in frozen fear as Taehyung continues to seize.

Then, suddenly, Taehyung’s whole body loosens and he goes slack like he’s falling asleep. Jeongguk reaches forward, moving his frozen limbs in a flash so he can keep Taehyung from flopping over face down. There’s a rush of relief that’s tainted with panic because Taehyung’s eyes still aren’t open.

“It’s alright,” the woman says, her voice loud over the noise around them, but still soothing. “He’s stopped seizing and the ambulance should be here soon.”

Jeongguk shifts over so he can place Taehyung’s head in his lap, and stroke the sweat-soaked hair out of his face. His skin is still flushed red and his breathing is unnaturally quick and shallow, but at least he’s still breathing, still alive . God, if something ever happened to him-

He cuts off that line of thought savagely. What he just witnessed was bad enough, he doesn’t need to imagine worse.

Namjoon shows up then, with Taehyung’s water bottle in his hand. He glances down at Taehyung’s still form and then looks up with wide, panicked eyes. “Is he okay?”

“He’s stopped seizing,” the staff member explains as she takes the bottle from his hand. “He’s just lost consciousness.”

She opens the cap and takes a moment to sniff the rim, before closing it again and setting it aside.

“Okay,” she starts. “I can’t be sure of anything,” she looks up to Namjoon, her brow furrowed and her mouth set in a straight line, and Jeongguk knows that look can’t mean anything good, “but judging by his symptoms, and the smell of that bottle, I think he may have been poisoned.”

-

Sensations return to Taehyung slowly.

He smells antiseptic, tastes something vile in his mouth, feels soft blankets against his skin. His throat hurts, but it’s a dull, distant pain. Sounds fade in and out, familiar and unfamiliar voice mixing together and confusing him.

His limbs feel heavy and he has to think hard just to move a finger. Forcing his eyes to open is even more difficult.

When he does manage to crack his eyes open, it’s strangely quiet. The voices he previously heard are no longer there, and he can only hear a constant beeping and distant noises outside the room. He blinks up at the ceiling, tired and aching and confused.

Hospital. He’s in a hospital.

“Taehyung?” There’s his name in a familiar voice, and the feeling of someone softly squeezing the fingers of his left hand. He looks over, eyes barely open, and sees Jeongguk sitting in the chair next to the bed, leaning forward, eyes wide and alert as he stares at Taehyung. “You’re awake,” he says, voice soft but strangled.

Taehyung tries to speak, but all that comes out is an unflattering croak, and then he’s coughing, and his chest and stomach burn . He’s aware of the nasty taste in his mouth again, as he continues to cough up a lung.

He hears Jeongguk rummaging around and then there’s a hand on the back of his neck, guiding him into sitting up slightly. “Here,” Jeongguk says. “Drink.” Taehyung sees the cup that’s being offered, and wraps his lips around the straw, eagerly sucking down the cool water. It’s a blessing on his dry mouth and burning stomach.

“Slow down, or you’ll get sick,” Jeongguk scolds, pulling the cup away. Taehyung stops without protest and flops back down on the pillow below him.

When he looks up, Jeongguk is staring right back down at him, his expression wracked with worry and his eyes red and puffy. Taehyung has known him long enough to recognize the signs of crying and no sleep. He looks as exhausted as Taehyung feels, and Taehyung wishes Jeongguk could just climb in bed with him and sleep for two days.

“How do you feel? Does anything hurt? Do you feel sick?” Jeongguk spits out the questions rapid-fire, not giving Taehyung the chance to answer. He seems to have a moment of inner panic, and then he glances toward the door. “I should get a doctor.”

“Wait,” Taehyung chokes out, his voice raspy. He grabs the sleeve of Jeongguk’s hoodie and Jeongguk immediately turns back to him. “Not yet. Just– wait.”

Jeongguk looks down at him with a conflicted expression before he sighs and then settles back down into his chair. “Okay, but just a few minutes.”

Taehyung clears his throat before speaking again. “Where is everyone?”

“They only let us come in two at a time. Yoongi was with me, but he went to grab food,” Jeongguk explains, leg bouncing in his chair anxiously.

Taehyung looks down at the sheets and tries to conjure up memories of what exactly happened, but the last thing he remembers is feeling sick at the beginning of their second song. “What happened? Why am I here?” He looks to Jeongguk, sees a flash of anger in his eyes as Taehyung asks those questions. It takes a moment for him to answer, and the anticipation is killing Taehyung, but he doesn’t push it.

“The water you were given backstage was poisoned.”

Jeongguk’s words hit him with full force, the shock knocking the breath out of him. He stares at Jeongguk with wide eyes, waiting for Jeongguk to say he’s joking, but the other man stares right back with a stony expression.

“You collapsed on stage, and then had a seizure ,” Jeongguk continues, when Taehyung doesn’t reply.

“A seizure?” Taehyung squeaks. “B– But– what?” He doesn’t remember any of this. Poison? A seizure? And he has no recollection of it? Oh, god and it was on stage, in front of a live audience and broadcasted all over the place...

“The person–” Taehyung starts, his thoughts going a mile a minute now that he’s more alert and aware of what’s going on. “Did they catch the person who did it?”

Jeongguk clenches his jaw, releasing an angered huff at the mention of this person. “Yes. Once we knew you were okay and on your way to the hospital, the hyungs went on a rampage looking for the guy with Sejin-hyung. He got a job on the staff a few months ago and that’s how he’s been able to do all of this. He was trying to run off while the rest of the staff was helping, so it wasn’t hard to figure out it was him.”

Shock is still coursing through him, but the knowledge that the man was caught gives him some peace of mind. He looks down at his hands, moves his fingers and curls his hands into fists. He feels okay, better than he did before he passed out anyway. There’s a pinch of nausea lingering, and he feels dizzy and weak, but not much pain. That could also have something to do with whatever they have going into the IV in his arm. “This is... a lot to take in.”

Jeongguk chokes out a humorless laugh and when Taehyung looks over, he sees Jeongguk bury his head in hands. “You have no idea how good it feels just to see you awake again,” his voice is trembling, vulnerable.

“Jeongguk...,” Taehyung whispers, his own chest feeling tight with emotion.

When Jeongguk lifts his head, there are tears falling from his already red and puffy eyes, and he’s staring at Taehyung as though he’ll disappear any second. He stands up and leans closer to the bed, lifting his arms to cradle Taehyung’s face with a familiar softness. Taehyung leans into the touch and feels his own eyes watering. Jeongguk’s touch grounds him, reminds him that he’s still here, he’s okay.

“I thought I was going to lose you. You have no idea how scared I was,” Jeongguk practically whimpers and it pulls at Taehyung’s heartstrings. He feels the tears finally fall from his eyes and drip down his cheeks onto Jeongguk’s hands. He’s comfortable, safe, but still jarred by the knowledge of his brush with danger and wracked with guilt for putting Jeongguk (and probably everyone else) through so much, just because he was too stubborn to talk to someone.

He brushes a tear from Jeongguk’s cheek with his thumb and moves to kiss the inside of Jeongguk’s wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, sniffles a little, “Don’t apologize. I’m not angry at you . None of it is your fault,” he assures. “It still could’ve happened whether you told someone or not. But still, just–  don’t you ever keep something like this from us – from me – again, okay?”

Taehyung shakes his head immediately, “Never. I promise.”

“I’m here, all of us are. You know that, right?”

“Of course,” Taehyung chokes out, a wave of emotions hitting him all at once. The tears spill freely, making a mess of his face and Jeongguk’s hands, but neither of them care. They’re both a mess of tears but they’re just happy to be together.

“I love you,” Jeongguk says. “So much,” and leans forward to press a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, too,” Taehyung replies when he pulls away, and then leans in for more.

This escalated into something Taehyung never could’ve imagined happening. He never meant to let things get so out of hand. It’s jarring to know how close he came to losing his life.

But he’s here, breathing, alive.

He’s hoping his recovery will be quick, but he knows there’s a long road ahead full of press conferences, public statements, and probably even criminal charges against the man who hurt him. It sounds exhausting and overwhelming, but at least he’ll have Jeongguk and the others by his side. They’re there for him as much as he is for them. They want him to rely on them, they always have. He needs to remember that.