Chapter Text
There always was eternal fight between Heaven and Hell.
For every dying person there is assigned one demon and one angel. Their task is to convince human to choose one side. It's not an easy job but Jungkook likes it anyway. After all Hell is awesome and talking about all 'attractions' will never bore him. He truly loves this place, he loves being a demon. This is the best life in the afterlife.
There's only one, tiny problem that annoys Jungkook. And the problem's name is Jimin. The most unbearable angel that ever existed. And of course they were assigned to be 'partners'. Contract includes hundred years of working together. And Jungkook has enough after only 30 years.
Thanks god (completely not ironically) for the days off.
Unfortunately today is not that day. He has to deal with irritating angel.
They're waiting together for arrival of new dead human. It's kinda impossible to guess Jimin's antics after his 'angelic look'.
Perfectly blue eyes and blond hair, ethereal white shirt and always kind smile. Yeah, he may seem like a typical, ordinary angel.
“Hello, fool.” Jimin never stops smiling sweetly while greeting him.
“Hello. Cherub.” Jungkook says not even looking at Jimin because he already knows what kind of face he will make.
“How many times do I have to say this! I am not a cherub!” He yells loudly, his face most likely red from anger.
“Hmm... Small and plump. Seems like a legit cherub to me.” Jungkook says and he can't suppress a smirk that grows equally as Jimin's anger.
“Um... Excuse me?” New human just arrived. Or maybe he was here for some short time already. “What's going on?”
“You died. You have to choose. Heaven or Hell.” Jungkook shrugs, he had this conversation so many times. Why bother to be-
“Oh my god. Do you have to be so insensitive? Don't mind this idiot, lost sheep.” Jimin makes his smile even sweeter and Jungkook feels like gagging, really.
“Shut up, winged dickhead.” And this bicker would go on forever most likely if not the human again.
“So... I died?”
“Yes.” Jungkook sighs. This human just happens to be really silly.
“How?”
“How the fuck would I know?” Jungkook squints, usually they are not that surprised. Because they remember car heading straight at them or some similar shit. “Go to the registry later. Now-”
“For god's sake. Do you always have to begin?” Jimin sounds so sulky that even the human looks disorientated.
“Whatever. Feel free to start.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. Why would this matter? The human will choose whatever he feels like. The order of talking means nothing.
“Alright, what's your name, lamb?”
“Quit your crap with ships and lambs. I would eat lamb skewers though-” Jungkook drools a little bit.
“Don't interrupt me, imbecile!” Jimin shouts. Nothing new. He always is so vociferous. Hot-headed angel. “So?” His voice returns to being sweet (almost toxic-sweet) as he turns to the human.
“I'm Taehyung... Are you an angel?” He sounds so sincerely confused frowning at Jimin and his outbursts that Jungkook can't help and he cackles. Of course he earns a look that could kill from Jimin.
“Yes I am. Obviously. Just look at this moron, clearly a demon. And I am an angel. I don't know why you look so surprised. Sweetheart.” Jimin smiles all the time, however he hisses the last word like the most terrifying villain.
“R-right.” Taehyung gulps visibly, truly scared of this kind-looking yet frightening angel.
Also, Jungkook naturally looks like a demon. He uses hair gel to make them spiky, he has lots of piercing in his ears and an almost constant smirk on his face. He is surely quite a contrast to innocent looking Jimin. However while the latter is impulsive, Jungkook was always much more composed and calm.
“Okay, formalities fulfilled. Carry on, winged shit, I don't want to spend whole day at work.”
“Rude.” Jimin glares, eyes full of hatred. We don't tolerate any bad deeds in Heaven. But you'll have a perfect life!” Jimin smiles widely and adds- “Of course supervised 24h per day.”
Jungkook never gets it why someone would choose Heaven after hearing this. But believe him, there are some crazy freaks out there.
“You can't borrow and not give it back. You can't stay up till late. Any pedophile-ish things are illegal. If you do any of this there will be penalty.” Jimin says the last sentence with such cutely smile that even with not knowing him for some time you'd get that there's something not right.
“Um I-”
“Do not. Interrupt me. Sweetie.” At this point Jungkook is sure that Taehyung is scared shitless of Jimin, any sane person would be. “You can't stand somebody up, extort money or have a nightlife. Oh, sweetheart. Don't worry, I can see your expression. So... I'll give you a special offer. Even if you won't do anything wrong I'll punish you with tortures. How that sounds?” Jimin actually gives Taehyung a genuine smile. Which is even more horrible but well. That's Jimin. Guessing by his face he honestly can't wait to punish someone.
“Alright.” Jungkook clasps his hands stopping this creep from further daydreaming about tying someone with a rope. “Do you want to hear about Hell, buddy?”
“Yes, please.” Taehyung pleads with widely open eyes. Poor soul.
“Living in Hell is fun all the time. You can do as many crimes per day as you want. Fighting is my favorite. Thefts, smuggling, gambling and any other evil deeds. If Satan hears about your crimes then you'll be rewarded-”
“Uh, the same goes with God in Heaven if he hears about your angelic actions-”
“Whatever, be quiet. You had your chance. Continuing: every week there's one person that is chosen depending on how many crimes committed. The less crimes – the higher probability that you'll end up being selected. We have a gathering to watch that person as they are bungee jumping. With a rope around their necks. Personally I really like to watch this show.” Jungkook smiles at the memories of the funniest ones.
“Well-”
“I'm not done yet.” Jungkook squints his eyes, he may look really intimidating if he wants to. “Burglaries, drinking, smoking, bribes. Everything is desirable. Injustice is the word that describes Hell the best. But hey, it's the best fun that way. Choose wisely so you won't regret it later.”
Taehyung is silent for a few moments looking between demon and angel. Then he looks at his own feet. He must be uneasy. After all it's the most important choice that he'll ever make in his life. Well, afterlife.
“Do I have to pick one..?” Taehyung mutters and looks away. Honestly, what he's scared of? It's not like they can kill him. He's already dead.
Jungkook only sighs and shakes his head.
“Sorry, dude. That's the rules.”
“Alright, sweetie. Just pick a side.” Jimin flutters his eyelashes and he's still smiling. Yet Jungkook can tell that he's patience is wearing out.
“Stop right there!”
“Chief, what the fuck?” Jungkook stares at Yoongi, his senior.
“There was a miscalculation. Unfortunately. Trust me, I was not happy about hurrying in here to stop you guys. I was gonna have a nice nap-” Yoongi huffs and closes his eyes dreamily.
“Your point?” Jimin interrupts, stomping his foot. He's full on frowning too.
“Don't talk back to me, kiddo.” Yoongi sends him awful glare. “The thing is: this one here?” He turns to Taehyung that is frozen in his spot, completely not getting anything of it. “He's not dead. Not yet. Not his time, guys.”
“Are you serious?” Jungkook wants to beat someone, that would be the best stress relief.
“Yup, sorry. Someone on top messed up. Glad that he didn't picked up the side yet cos then it would be dead end.”
“Wow, what a terrible pun.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. Yoongi is better than this.
“Wait. So I can live?” Taehyung is close to yelling.
“Sorry about that, unimportant human.” Yoongi puts his hand up to send him back to Earth. “See you, our services will welcome you warmly. Especially if you choose Hell. Bye.”
And just like that Taehyung is gone. Leaving annoyed Jungkook and Jimin (while the latter is closer to serious madness).
“Right, since I'm already seeing you both I can tell you about your training.” Yoongi looks in his notebook. “Here's yours. I must have it signed.” Yoongi offers Jungkook a paper.
“Hold up!” Jungkook rarely looses his composure but now he waves the piece of paper in front of Yoongi's nose. He also tries not to look at very smug face of Jimin. It's like he's saying 'see, even you can loose your cool'. “What fucking training?!”
“This one.” However Yoongi gives zero shits all the time. He is unmoved by Jungkook holding his paper almost in Yoongi's throat.
“Why?! When?! And WHY?!”
“Because management. You can't back out of it either. Satan will throw you at the bottom of Hell if you do.”
“But what 'training' even means!”
“Actually nothing important. You just have to spend two weeks along with other angels and demons in some location. Count this as your holiday.” Yoongi yawns, he already wants to be done with talking and back with sleeping.
“Wha-! Holidays?! This?!”
“Calm your dick, Kook. Just two weeks, I believe in you.” Yoongi raises his fist in totally not convincing way. “Sign it.”
Jungkook growls and keeps doing that while taking out a knife and cutting his palm.
“Ugh, I hate signing with my blood.” Jimin squirms as Yoongi hands him a paper. “Can you?” Jimin points at Jungkook's knife. Of course, why would angel keep a knife in his pockets. However Jungkook is sure that Jimin has his own arsenal at home with barbed ropes, daggers and he wouldn't be surprised if there would be guillotine too. Heaven must be just as depraved as Hell. It's just all about superficiality.
“You're asking me to cut you?” Jungkook snorts but why the heck not? It's some good opportunity to do any harm to an angel without any obstacles (like law and shit).
“Just don't cut deep. And not wide.” Jimin holds his palm open for Jungkook.
“You really don't like this, huh?” Jungkook chuckles shaking his head in disbelieve.
“Shut your mouth-” Jimin hisses and pouts when Jungkook's blade enters his skin.
Yoongi collects their papers afterward, he looks satisfied that it didn't took whole afternoon.
“Great. You'll get the mail about exact day and hour of departure. Stay safe, kids.” He says and disappears. Jungkook sighs, he envies demons with higher rang than his. They can do just 'poof' and be gone. It's unfair because all angels have wings no matter what rang. And here is Jungkook, forced to use stupid transports that are very human-like. For example his motorcycle.
“See you, freak.” Jimin smirks like he knows exactly what Jungkook's thinking about. He puts in a motion his wings and Jungkook is soon left with only few feathers of his.
“You molt, fucker.” He grumbles and exhales. He has quite a long ride home.
Later this day he checks his e-mail and he almost drops dead on the floor. Yoongi said nothing about this training's requirement. That is being partnered with a current partner. Who in Jungkook's case is deviant, cheeky Jimin.
It'll be long two weeks.