Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lorraine knew that she hit rock bottom somewhere in her life. She wasn’t sure it was when she found out Titus was Glauca, when he killed the king, or when she was stupid enough not to walk away. Even though they still argued, there were gentle moments, moments when his touch would linger on her skin, moments when he snuggled near her when they sleeping, moments when they would just love each other like nothing bad ever happened or would occur. Lora learned that Nyx survived the fight because Titus played dead until the Glaive left to find his love, Regina, Noct’s older sister. They both knew that Nyx and Regina would tell Noctis who really murdered the king and Titus would have a target painted on his back.

Titus had been coming from hunts exhausted and in pain. He would fall asleep before dinner was finished and be gone before she woke up. She never really grabbed onto him during sleep now, because now her belly started expanding with child. At six months along, she slept on her other side, her back facing Titus, as it was the most comfortable side to sleep on. However, as the cold season approached them, she found herself moving closer to him during the night but not wrapping her arms around him. Until tonight, that was.

After eating some food for two, Lora brushed her hair, got dressed in her flannel nightgown, and got in bed next to Titus, who was dead to the world. She smiled at him fondly, noticing how young he looked in his sleep. It was like he had no worries or fears in the place of his dreams. He twitched occasionally but didn’t wake. As she turned the light off, she laid down and got settled on her side, facing Titus’s back. When she started closing her eyes, she felt him tense up, his breathing coming quicker, and wondered if he was having a bad dream. To soothe him, Lora wrapped an arm around his waist, her hand touching his abdominals, and kissed the back of his neck. Then, he pounced.

In a flash, Lora found herself on her back and trapped under Titus’s strong body, his hands wrapped around her delicate throat. She tried to breathe but couldn’t. He was crushing her throat. She flailed under him, kicking and waving her arms, and knocked a bedside lamp over. She could feel the baby inside of her leaping in fear and tried to wrench his hands off her throat. She could barely get a word out to him. His grip tightened like a vice and her oxygen got cut off.

A strangled scream ripped through her mouth. She pushed and shoved at him to no avail. He was impossible to move. He was a wall of sturdy muscle, unmoving, unflinching. His touched burned her like flame to a paper. When Lora got a good look at him, she saw that his eyes were open but glossed over, like he was still in a dream. He wasn’t aware that he was hurting her, wasn’t aware that he was killing her. She had to wake him before he ended up killing her and the baby.

“T-Titus…” she squeaked out, clawing and scratching at his forearms. Her vision was getting dangerously dim and her temples started beating. “Y-you could at least recognize me…”

Suddenly, Titus seemed to snap out of whatever illusion he was under and his grip instantly loosened. Lora almost fell out of the bed, saved by Titus grabbing her by the waist and moving her back onto the mattress. Hastily, he got off her and turned the remaining bedside lamp on to see what he had done. In the light, he saw all that he did and it sank into him like a rock in his stomach. Lora’s throat was decorated with a furious bruise and her face was bright red, tears in her fearful hazel eyes. She started gasping for air, inhaling lungsful of it, and gracelessly stumbled out of bed, coughing and sputtering. She had a hand on her rounded stomach and her back turned to him.

“Lorraine…” he said gently, reaching out to touch her. “I’m so sorry. Forgive me. I didn’t know you came to bed.”

Lora stumbled towards the window and placed her hands on the cold glass, her trembling breath misting the glass in front of her. She was ignoring Titus, trapped in her own world, as tears rolled down her cheeks and sobs escaped her quivering lips. She took one hand off the window and put it over her mouth to muffle the hysterical shrieks that came from her. When he reached out to grab her by the shoulders, she flinched away from his touch and ran towards the door, stumbling over her clumsy feet.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she yowled, her voice rough from the treatment her throat received. She whipped around to glare at him and he could see the fury and betrayal in those eyes.

Sighing, Titus ran a hand through his shorn hair and closed his eyes, knowing he royally fucked up. “I’m so sorry,” he said shakily, trying to keep his emotions under control. “I’m on edge twenty-four/seven, especially at night. I can never know who tries to touch me in my sleep. I-I fucked up, I know that. I’m not good at talking about things, you know that. I have to keep my guard up because I can’t tell the difference between an enemy or you when I’m asleep. I know this sounds like an excuse, but it’s true. I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Hmm-mm,” she mumbled out, raising her hand to stop him. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” With that said, she opened the door and walked out, shutting it behind her.

As soon as she was gone, Titus sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. He was close to tears but was too strong to let them out. A shaky sigh left him and he knew he fucked up badly. He hurt the only woman he loved. He could have killed her and their child in his dream state. He couldn’t live without her. He couldn’t live with himself knowing that he harmed her and their child. He knew he couldn’t change. Once a monster, always a monster. Her loved didn’t change that, much to his dismay. He had to make it up to her somehow. He had to show her how truly sorry he was. When he laid back down in bed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. It wasn’t until the stars turned blue that he actually fell back asleep, dreaming of terrible things, like succeeding in murdering his love and their child.

…

Lora’s neck hurt when she got up the next morning. The couch wasn’t very comfortable, but it was better than sleeping with the murderous madman in the bed they shared. She rubbed her eyes and neck before getting up to make breakfast. She was relieved to feel that the baby was okay. She could feel the little one stirring in her stomach. The baby had daily soccer matches in her belly. It was definitely Titus’s kid. It was so strong that she was afraid that the baby would kick its way out of her uterus. When she walked into the kitchen, she saw Titus standing there with an apologetic look on his face.

“Lora, I am so sorry for what happened last night,” he said huskily, his voice deep with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you or the baby. I didn’t know you were there. Baby, I’m glad we live together now. Back in Insomnia, we lived in separate apartments, but there’s something you don’t know. Baby, I rarely sleep. When I do, I have horrible nightmares—Nightmares of monsters, death, my island town burning, my parents dying, you dying. I lost everything when my island burned and the Empire took over. I was young when they came in. All of it happened because the damn Lucian kings decided to move the wall back and abandon us. I never aligned myself with Niflheim, not truly. They were the bastards that destroyed my home, but Lucis sanctioned it in their own way. I’ve been haunted by nightmares ever since.”

Lora was quiet until she spoke up in a quiet voice. “You know the reason the wall was pulled back was because King Mors was too weak to sustain it,” she remarked, recalling history. “King Regis protested it, but his father was too weak to sustain it and the whole wall would have come down. Now, that Crystal lies with someone who doesn’t know its own power. I respect that power but not the fact that it basically kills the ones who wield it. That poor kid will end up like his father, dying because the Crystal has weakened him. The general public didn’t know Regis could still summon weapons near the end.”

“I’ll admit,” said Titus ruefully, placing a hand on her waist, “I wanted to fight him when he was at full power.” When she let him touch her, he assumed that she was slowly forgiving him. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’ve taken you away from everything you’ve known—your home, your family, your friends, everything.”

Lora took a few moments to think what to say. She couldn’t disagree with him, but it was more complicated than that. “My home is where you are,” she said softly, “and you and the baby are my family. I love you, Titus.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said, blinking back tears as she turned and embraced him. He held her in his arms and inhaled her scent. He felt her sag against him and knew she was exhausted from sleeping on the couch. “Let’s get you back to bed, Lora. You probably slept horribly on that couch.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, laying her head on his shoulder. “But I can’t sleep all day even if I want to.”

Titus chuckled as he scooped her up in his arms, princess-style. “Lora, you’re pregnant,” he said in a light-hearted tone. “You need some sleep.”

“Hey, did you notice the daylight’s getting shorter?” she asked in a way to redirect the topic.

“Yeah,” replied Titus casually, “I’ve noticed, but don’t think you’re talking your way out of a nap.”

“Naps are for children,” she argued unconvincingly, yawning widely. “I don’t need one.”

Titus shook his head. “You’re too stubborn for your own good,” he chuckled, smiling down at her. “Just go to sleep, Lora. You need it.”

“What if I don’t?” she challenged, giving him a suspicious look.

He gave her a small smirk and slithered down the length of her body. She didn’t like the look on his face. It was too mischievous and sly for her liking. She was indeed weary and her belly made it hard for her to sit up quickly. She did her best to look down and saw that he was up to no good. He lifted up her nightgown hem until it was over her hips. Immediately, he pulled her panties down and slid them off her legs, giving him access to her already-wet opening.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he purred, green eyes darkening with desire.

“Pregnancy hormones,” she replied shakily, feeling her vagina throbbing with need.

“I love it,” he growled, wasting no time in spreading her legs and going straight to business.

As soon as his lips and scruff touched her tender opening, she let out a whimper and it urged him on. He began to feast on her, licking and suckling her as if she was his last meal, and desperate cries came from her lips. The hormones helped enhance her pleasure and bring her to climax quicker. Her body quivered and her release washed through her. Her eyes rolled back into her head and her mind went blank as she decorated his lips in her benediction. He smiled as he licked it up, watching as her body collapsed in exhaustion, and helped redress her.

“Shouldn’t I return the favor?” she asked wearily, struggling to keep her eyes open as she came down from the high.

“Maybe when you can keep your eyes open,” he quipped, helping her under the covers. Then, he got serious. “I am sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to. I love you more than anything.”

“I know,” she said gently, giving him a small smile. “I forgive you. Maybe I can show it when I return the favor.”

Titus chuckled and shook his head. “Go to sleep, baby,” he said lovingly, stroking her tangled hair back from her face. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I doubt you can one up me with how tired you’ve been lately, but you can try anyways.” A small smile was on his lips and she knew he was joking.

Lora snorted but closed her eyes anyways, feeling the weariness overtake her immediately. She tried to push it back but couldn’t. As her mind began to go into dream land, she felt herself being laid down on the bed. She went to sleep as soon as her body hit the soft warmth of the bed. Deciding that hunting could wait, Titus laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, being careful about her growing stomach. He remembered how sick she got during the first trimester and was glad that part was over. The second trimester was easier on her. She could eat without getting sick again. As he snuggled up next to her, he bestowed a kiss upon her neck and smiled when she sighed in contentment.

“I won’t ever leave you,” he whispered to her and the unborn baby, placing a hand on her stomach. “I will always protect you. Always.”

In her sleep, Lora seemed to hear him because she smiled and turned her head so their cheeks touched. He loved feeling the softness of her hair and the smelling the sweet scent that came from her skin. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and let himself relax beside her, closing his eyes. He allowed himself to drift off to sleep. He was still exhausted from the hunting and the lack of sleep he got the night prior. This was the life he wanted for his family, one of love and security. This was his dream. Living on the land with his beloved and raising children with her. It was a dream he had ever since he was a boy, and he achieved it. Piece by piece, it was all coming together. After years of disappointment and pain, his dream was finally becoming a reality and he would never let it go.