Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hey, you rich butthead,

you probably think you know everything about me and especially what I think about you but one thing I can say for sure, you conceited snob! You are wrong!

Sure, I hate you because you are an asshole, but who doesn’t? But the truth is….sometimes I think we are not that dissimilar and don’t think that I like that, okay!?

However I know what it means to be a big brother.  I would give everything to see Serenity happy, to have her safe and to make her life as easy as possible. It’s the most important thing and I am sure your feel the same about Mokuba. I saw it with my own eyes how far you would go and even if I thought that one or two of your actions were pretty shitty I can’t say I would have acted so much different. Bullshit, obviously I would have acted different!  After all I am not such a ruthless asshole like you! But you will understand, mastermind.

What I originally wanted to say…I didn’t missed how you are treating Mokuba. How you act, how you talk and in exactly those moments I can’t help it but agree with Yugi. Sometimes you are a rather decent human being, nearly loving even…but just nearly, because such a block of ice that you are can’t be melted even by fire from hell!

Well, back to the original topic. When I sometimes see you with your brother I can’t help but to like you. I feel myself getting a bit…you know, drawn to you. At times like that I wished we wouldn’t always fight but be able to talk normally. I know you can’t do that, because your ego is way too big but…it would be nice …and sometimes I dream about your looking at me the same way.

I know it’s a dream that will never become true. You and I, we just don’t fit together. We are like day and night. Two pieces of one puzzle that do not fit but it doesn’t change my feelings for you. So yeah, if I already arrived at this for you surely ridiculous soppiness I can also finally spill it. I, Joey Wheeler, fell in love with you, Seto Kaiba.

I don’t know if you noticed but because I think your mastermind would have never realized, I just wanted to tell/write it to you. However please do me the favor and don’t spread this to the public…and please don’t tell anyone else. It was hard enough to accept it myself so…yeah. It would be great if you could do at least that for me but hey, whom am I talking to? The big Seto Kaiba would never read this, that’s why I can go all out without worries:

I love you, Seto Kaiba. I really love you and deep in my heart I wish for you to return these feelings one day. It does not matter how absurd this wish may be.

In Love,

Joseph Wheeler

I leaned back and lifted my eyebrow as I looked at my e-mail. Again far too much text and I just don’t get to the point.

I sighed and let myself fall against the back of my chair. My eyes wander upwards to my ceiling although it was more like staring into nothingness. How many mails did I actually wrote? I’m afraid there are countless. Again and again I select the same address and over and over I try to write something that was not sounding so humiliating. But who am I trying to fool? The whole situation was humiliating. Not only was I forced to accept I was part of the homo-fraction, no, that’s not enough for Joey Wheeler, I have to fall for the guy that detested me the most. For Kaiba I was just a monkey or a yapping lap dog.

Again I was sighing and looke at the mail from just now. Well, to be honest it was not my worst try. I had much more horrible tries … but unfortunately also much better ones. But at the end this try will end up like all the ones before. I will close and discard it.

I smile just one more time and ask myself what kind of face Kaiba would make if he would indeed read this. Too bad that the 1^st of april is already over. Maybe next time when I will be able to gather enough courage. Unlikely, but hey, one should aim high.

As I was reaching out for my mouse I accidentally hit the left mouse button but who cares. The consequences of this accident just dawned to me as I was looking at my screen…Where is my mail?...no, no joke. Where is it?

In panic I go through my tabs but just can’t find it and I felt unbelievable sick as I thought about what could have possibly happened. No, please don’t. I didn’t just accidently hit the ‘send’-button!?

My hand was downright shaking as I selected the ‘sent’-folder. I first had to take a deep breath before I could even click on this thing. Still, even this couldn’t save me from the panicky feeling of a looming blackout as I saw my mail. ‘Something I always wanted to tell you’. This was the cheesy subject I preferably use for these e-mails. This time I had sent it…

I want to scream but no sound left my lips while I was staring at the proof of my ‘accident’ for minutes in bewilderment.

“I want to die. Here and now…”

“Will it take long, Seto?” I asked while looking outside of the window of our limousine. Meanwhile my brother was checking his mails on a tablet. “No, Mokuba. I think this will be done in a few minutes.” I hear him say in a snarky tone and I have to smile. Once again one of the super smart business men thought he could make a very special offer but most of these offers were off the shelf and far from innovative. It always bored Seto, that’s why he always ended those meetings in just a few minutes. Seto was simply intelligent enough to be able to judge immediately if ideas were good or not.

The moment we finally arrived my brother did not deemed it necessary to put the tablet in his hand away. He didn’t need to. I knew he had me in the corner of his eyes and I was leading him the way into the building. In there we were already awaited by faces with fake smiles. But somehow some of the faces changed into a confused one as we got closer. That was the moment I realized Seto was not with me anymore, instead he has just stopped a few footsteps before.

“Seto….?” I wanted to get his attention but he didn’t react. Only now  I became aware of how shocked, no, horrified Seto was staring at his tablet. As if someone just had told him I was once again abducted. “Seto!” I tried again, this time successfully. My brother freed himself from his trance but at the same time something even more unusual was happening. The grip around the tablet loosened and the device slipped right out of his hand. I practically could watch in slow motion how it fell unfortunately on one of its edges and while doing so the display was bursting…..ups….

Seto looked unbelievable angered at the now broken device. “Bring this scrap into my office and get me a new…better one! I will deal with loading the data later.” He grumbled to one of our bodyguards who instantly took care of it. What a strange situation. I just asked myself what Seto has been looking at…well, actually it was not my business. Now we had to tell those business man that they are wasting far too much of my brothers time far too often.