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Yongsun struggled to get the door open on her own, leaning her suitcase against her hip to stop it from rolling down the stupid fucking hill her university dorm was on. They’d given her two keys - none of which were actually key-shaped, which meant Yongsun gave it a week before she misplaced them - and she could’ve sworn she’d used the right one. But. The. Stupid. Door. Wouldn’t. Open.
It was moments like these that Yongsun regretted talking her family out of coming down to the university with her on her move-in day. Stupid, misplaced independence.
“Do you need help?” Yongsun jumped at the voice right behind her, making her drop her keys. The girl let out a quiet “whoops” as she bent down to help Yongsun pick it off the ground, her green shirt almost violent in its brightness. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh, that happens a lot to me.” Yongsun palmed the back of her neck nervously as she got her first good look at the girl. She was a little taller than Yongsun, with dark blue hair and a smile that curled too close to a smirk. Yongsun immediately felt on edge around her. “Would have dropped those things some other way, I suppose.”
“You were having trouble getting it open?” The girl gestured towards the door. “You gotta tap the reader with this fob.”
“I did.” Yongsun glared balefully at the offending object in the girl’s hand. “It wouldn’t open no matter how hard I pushed.”
The girl blinked at her for a moment before laughing. “That’s because you need to pull .” And of course, she had to demonstrate by tapping the key against the reader and opening the damned door with ease. “Ta-da.”
“Of course it is.” Yongsun really should’ve seen this coming anyway. Just her luck. “I’ll try that next time.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m always happy to open doors for beautiful girls.” The girl honest to god winked at her before gesturing Yongsun in. “Go ahead. One of my colleagues should be waiting by the lifts to take you up.”
Anything Yongsun had to say was moot, really. So she slipped past her with a blush riding high on her cheeks. At least, she comforted herself with the thought as she smiled wanly at another greeter in a bright green shirt. At least they were in different years. Yongsun would never have to see the girl again.
-----
“Hey! Hey, you!” Yongsun had no idea she was being called at first. She was engrossed in reading an information pamphlet about bus routes into the main town off-campus. “Door Girl!”
Yongsun looked up to see the girl from the day before lounging casually on a wooden bench by herself in front of the student bar. She frowned when the girl beckoned her over with a wide smile.
“I thought I’d recognised you.” Byulyi patted the bench next to her. “Want to join me and my friends for a bit? We could answer any questions you might have about school.”
“Uh, no thanks.” Yongsun could feel herself edging away, unused to such friendliness. “I think I got it covered.”
The girl searched her face and began to frown, her features softening as she took in Yongsun’s expression. “You sure? I mean, it helped me out to have someone to talk to when I was starting out last year, but…”
Yongsun shrugged and made to walk away, but the girl grabbed her hand. “Hey, at least stay for a drink. Let me buy you one. As a welcome gift.” Yongsun stilled and tried to pull away politely. The girl caught on anyway and dropped her hand as if it’d burned her. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Consent, and all. I’m sorry.” The girl was standing now, facing Yongsun head on as she rubbed at her elbow nervously. “I got excited, is all.”
“It’s really okay.” People were staring now - not a lot, but enough to set Yongsun’s teeth on edge. God, she hated attention. “I’m just gonna go.”
“You’re right. Hey,” Byulyi took a step forward as Yongsun did, her movements jerky with determination. “I never did catch your name. I’m Byulyi. Moon Byulyi.”
“Kim Yongsun.” Yongsun wasn’t really sure if it was a good idea to give out her name so freely but she supposed it couldn’t hurt. She’d been introducing herself to just about everyone lately anyway.
“Kim Yongsun,” Byulyi said, testing the taste of it on her tongue. “It’s a beautiful name.”
“Thanks.” Oh gosh, why does she keep blushing around this girl? “I really have to go.”
“Oh, of course. Yeah.” Byulyi waved her goodbye. “I’ll see you around?”
Yongsun wasn’t sure how to reply to that. So she didn’t.
-----
While she was growing up, Yongsun would get teased a lot for how she looked. People usually didn’t expect her to be smart. To like things like science and history and anthropology. Why would she need to be good at things like that, they used to whisper. She was pretty enough to get by on looks alone.
Yongsun had learnt pretty quickly that people weren’t always fascinating to discover in person. Their patterns and behaviours - yeah, sure, those were interesting things to observe from afar, but Yongsun would always prefer secondary research.
People were mean. That was clear and simple, to her. People had the capacity and means to hurt, with their words and with their hands, and their best way to stay safe was to limit interactions with them as much as possible. Of course, that was hard because people tended to want to talk to her first, but Yongsun could handle herself.
She was fine on her own. She’d been on her own for a long time.
-----
“So I heard Moon Byulyi’s taken a liking to you.” Yongsun blinked as she looked up from her salad. The girl sitting opposite her was currently unwrapping a packed sandwich from tinfoil, her posture and movements casual as can be. “You should be careful.”
“I’m sorry, but who are you?”
“Park Chorong, at your service.” The girl offered her a mischievous smile. “2nd year sports coaching major. And you’re the girl Moon Byulyi wouldn’t shut up about last week at the bar.”
Yongsun frowned at this new information. “What is she saying about me?”
“Oh, loads of things. It’s embarrassing, really. She has no sense of boundaries when she’s drunk.” Chorong said this like it was a common occurrence. “Of course, you shouldn’t let this creep you out. She’s a decent person under all that bravado.”
“I don’t even know her…?” Yongsun was utterly bewildered with her weird luck of having conversations with people with no due warning. “It is a little creepy, if you think about it.”
“Oh, it definitely is.” Chorong licked some sauce off her finger - the same finger she wagged at Yongsun with mock warning. “But don’t fall for her, you hear me? You seem like a decent person. We’ve all decided we like you.”
Yongsun wanted to ask who ‘we’ were, but decided against it in the end. She had a funny feeling that she wouldn’t get a straight answer. “Okay.”
Chorong grinned at her with sharp eyes. “Good.”
-----
“So I wasn't going to say anything, because honestly you creep me out a lot, but could you please stop telling people you'd like to sleep with me?”
Honesty was always the best policy, really, and Yongsun was not known to beat around the bush. Further down the counter, a girl who was obviously younger than them both laughed aloud.
“We told you she was going to come after you.” The girl - her name tag read ‘Wheein’ - danced up to them and leaned over the counter with a smile that was more friendly than professional. “What can I get you for a drink? On me. You've just won me 50,000 won.”
“Uh.” Yongsun couldn't help but frown deeper as it sunk in. “You guys took a bet on me?”
“Against her. She said you were too shy to actually come up to her and do anything about it. We rooted for you, obviously.” Wheein pulled out a large takeaway cup. “You like hot chocolate? Not allergic to anything?” Yongsun shook her head. “Cool. I’ll be back with you in a sec.” Wheein shot her co-worker one more amused look. “And you, Byulyi-unnie, can take a break.”
“Listen, it’s not what you think.” Yongsun had met the girl a total of two times, but her reputation certainly preceded her. 2nd year criminal justice major, star player on the school’s basketball team. Moon Byulyi got around socially too. Everyone had a story they could tell about her with a giggle or a smirk, but Yongsun wasn’t sure if they could ever imagine the look of anxiety on her face at this exact moment.
Yongsun just raised an eyebrow as she led the way to a table in the back, settling into the couch cushion carefully as she tried to portray distance. Byulyi was exhibiting all the signs of nervousness - hands wringing her tablecloth, biting down on her bottom lip. Her eyes darted every which way, as if afraid to settle on one thing. Yongsun crossed her arms. She was allowed to enjoy this, right?
“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Moon Byulyi was obviously not in the habit of apologising. “I say stupid shit when I’m drunk, but I don’t mean to make you feel violated.”
“Thanks.” Yongsun wasn’t about to forgive her, because really, she was a little tired of somehow having gotten on everyone’s radar. That was the last thing she needed.
Byulyi chewed on her bottom lip as she peered closer at Yongsun’s face. “Is that it?”
“Pretty much.” Yongsun shrugged. “I just wanted to hear it from your own mouth.” She made to get up, surprised at how easy it had been, but Byulyi made to reach for her wrist again - stopping herself just in time. Her touch hovered just out of reach - the heat from her palm somehow searing still, with the gap between them. Intent was a palpable thing when imbued with determination. Byulyi was obviously a woman of action.
“Wait.” Byulyi’s fist clenched. “That’s it?”
“Yeah…” Yongsun trailed off as Byulyi stood, her eyes gleaming with that same determination. “What is it?”
“I would like to ask you out. On a date, I mean.” Byulyi’s head tilted cutely. “Would that be something - I don’t know. Is that something you would want too?”
Yongsun’s mouth had dropped open. Out of everything she had imagined Byulyi saying - that was not on the list. “I’m sorry?”
“Well, obviously, I really like you.” Byulyi’s hand made to scratch at her elbow, her eyes darting every which way. “I was hoping you would let me take you out, at least. On a date. None of the creepy stuff, for sure.”
“Right.” This was a bad idea. Byulyi was pretty high-profile, and Yongsun already had to deal with Chorong seeking her out on campus. She’d apparently really meant it when she’d said she’d liked her. “No offence, but you’re really not my type.” Byulyi was brash, loud, and a little too greasy. There was a confidence on her that was too cocky for her own good, even though Yongsun had no doubt she really was all that . “It wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“Oh.” Byulyi’s face crumpled, and Yongsun was reminded of Chorong’s warning. “You don’t like girls. I get it.”
“It’s not that.” Yongsun slipped past her, an apologetic smile on her lips. “You really do scare me a little.”
Byulyi gaped at her, caught completely off-guard. Yongsun waved goodbye as she stopped by the counter, hoping to pay for the drink Wheein had made for her, but the younger girl waved her off.
“It’s good for her,” Wheein murmured, as she slid the takeaway cup across the counter. “She needs to be reminded that we’re not kids in the schoolyard anymore. And that you can’t just throw someone a smile and expect things to go your way.” Yongsun’s money was steadfastly refused. “You take care of yourself, unnie. See you around.”
“You too, Wheein.” Yongsun dropped the money into the tip jar instead. She stepped out into the sunshine outside, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
The cinnamon lingered on her tongue for the rest of the day.
-----
Yongsun doesn’t hear anything from Byulyi for the next two months, digging into her studies with relish. There was a pretty big psychology conference coming up after the New Year, and Yongsun was hoping to get into her professors’ good books enough to get them to consider using some of the department’s funding to sponsor a few tickets for their students.
In the meantime, Yongsun had made a few friends. There was Park Chorong, of course, who still sought her out between classes even though they had nothing really in common. Yongsun enjoyed her company well enough, because with Chorong, came Bomi and Namjoo and a few more girls who always treated Yongsun with respect and good humour. Yongsun learnt a lot from them - who was who on campus, which teachers to avoid, which uni events were good. They were Good People.
Then there was Jung Wheein, who Yongsun ended up befriending after one too many trips to the campus cafe during the midnight shift. Wheein, like Yongsun, had a habit of staying up too late instead of waking up early. Despite the awkwardness of their first encounter, Yongsun found herself genuinely enjoying the younger girl’s company. The barista often gave her an extra shot of espresso on the house, placing a finger on her lips to shush Yongsun’s protests. “We students have to stick together, right?” Wheein had winked, and Yongsun had rolled her eyes in turn. Wheein’s laughter was given freely, and it always warmed her heart a little when Yongsun could earn it.
Of course, she couldn’t miss out Ahn Hyejin. Ahn Hyejin, who was a staple at the live band karaoke that happened at the student bar every Thursday night. Ahn Hyejin who had decided to make it her goal to get Yongsun up to sing with her during one of the nights.
It had started as a joke, really. Yongsun had been there with her flatmates one night, the Designated Sober Friend because her and alcohol really didn’t mix. They had a booth in the corner and Yongsun was waiting at the bar to ask for a pitcher of water. Her flatmates were definitely embarrassing drunks.
Yongsun was minding her own business, idly coming up with an essay outline in her head as she waited, when someone began to sing in her ear. Loudly. Clapping a hand over them, Yongsun leant away with a scowl, only to find a woman with long, dark hair dancing right next to her. Once upon a time, people had called Yongsun a free spirit, though that number had dwindled down to just her family in recent years. Yongsun had never quite identified with the label, but she knew the signs of one. And she was looking at one right now.
“Sorry!” The woman screamed over the melodies of ABBA. “This is my jam!”
“Clearly!” Yongsun was charmed by the easy way she moved. Loose wrists, waist and hips. Yongsun smiled, despite herself. “You’re really getting into it!”
“ You are the dancing queen! Young and sweet, only seventeen …!” The woman danced even closer, their bodies inadvertently pressing together amidst the crush of bodies around the bar, waiting for drinks. “Come on, you know this song! Don’t you?”
“Of course I do!” Yongsun laughed. “I just don’t sing in public!”
That was obviously the wrong thing to say, because the woman’s eyes lit up and she pulled Yongsun close enough for her to smell the alcohol on her breath. “So you’re a singer too?”
And that was that. Hyejin herself would never go up to sing, even though it was open mic. No, she had decided her first time would be with Kim Yongsun, whenever that moment was. Yongsun had become used to seeing Hyejin around when her friends drag her out on nights out. And to be honest, once they started hanging out for real - after a shared moment of solidarity in the campus club bathrooms - Yongsun found herself really enjoying her company.
All in all, Yongsun was enjoying her college experience, despite the weird start.
Shame it didn’t last stay that way for long.
- - - - -
A quick Google during pre-drinks had revealed that Chorong used to be a basketball player - and a good one too. A former listed player, Chorong had played for the national team for a while, in her youth. However, after a game gone wrong, Chorong had to quit for her own health.
“I’ve always had asthma,” she had explained, sad despite the revelry around them. “It just got too bad to manage as an athlete.”
“That… sucks.” It was times like this Yongsun wished she still drank. Instead, she offered the older girl her drink. “Another cup to drown your sorrows? It’s mostly mixer, anyway.”
And Chorong had laughed and tipped the cup back, looking relieved at the change of conversation.
Still, it made sense then for Chorong’s chosen major and her interest in the sport. And remembering how much yearning had been in her eyes when she talked about it, Yongsun found she couldn’t deny her when she asked Yongsun to accompany her to a match.
“Our women’s team is really good. One of the best in the university league, even,” Chorong had pleaded. “And I know it clashes with your fancy academic society -”
“The sociology society, Chorong. It’s the sociology society -”
“But I really want you to come and hang out with me, just once. Because Namjoo has a date that day and Bomi refuses to go to basketball matches because she thinks they steal the football club’s fans.” Yongsun had sighed and keyed in the date into her calendar. It was worth it, she decided later, sitting next to Chorong in the stands of their fancy new sports arena. Worth it just to see her friend following the game with laser focus.
Yongsun wasn’t too big on sports, herself. Sure, she’d done the occasional team sport, but nothing had ever stuck. Instead she’d inclined more to the arts - and dance. Yongsun loved dance.
So the most she could tell you about the match was that they won, and the other team lost. Chorong was cheering for the Blades every step of the way, heckling the other team so hard that she got stares from the people who had come to support them. Yongsun had debated asking her to stop, but decided upon looking at her friend’s determined face that it really wasn’t worth the hassle.
“Oh my god, I need some water,” Chorong finally admitted, after the game was over. Yongsun had meant to keep some for her when she started noticing her friend go hoarse midway through the second half, but ended up drinking it all because she got bored. “Do you have any left?” Yongsun just shook the empty bottle in response, and Chorong sighed. “Fine. Let’s go to the bar? Celebratory pint?”
What Chorong didn’t mention was that everyone went to the bar after for a celebratory pint. They had barely gotten their drinks when the first of the basketball players started to stream in. Yongsun felt her anxiety make her heart begin to quicken - Chorong was friends with most of these girls, and would probably want to talk to them. Which meant that Yongsun would be left to her own devices - or worse: have to talk to them.
She really wished she had the strength to say no, sometimes.
“Oh my god, Eunbi, you were on fire on the court today!” And it looked like it would be option number 1, which Yongsun was fine with. Really. Except.
“Hello.” Moon Byulyi had found her somehow, looking - and smelling - freshly showered. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Hello.” Yongsun cast her eyes about, but couldn’t see a convenient way out of this one. Chorong was chatting animatedly to at least two other girls, and Yongsun couldn’t see anyone else she would know. She thought she’d been subtle, but knows she hasn’t been when Byulyi’s tentative smile drops and she took a step back.
“Oh, sorry. I probably shouldn’t have - I mean, I didn’t mean to - I just - I guess it felt weird to not at least say hi. You looked alone.” Byulyi winced. “I mean, you were alone. Not to imply that it’s weird to be by yourself or anything. I mean, I enjoy my own company too. Sometimes. I just require more alcohol, spare batteries and a locked door, if you know what I mean.” Immediately upon saying that, she blushed so hard, Yongsun swore she matched the colours of the red-painted walls. “I’m sorry, that was highly inappropriate. You know what? I’m just going to get myself another drink. Yes, that is a good idea.” And when Yongsun didn’t say anything else, Byulyi bolted, looking for all the world decidedly less settled than she had been when she’d first approached.
It took Yongsun a moment to process what had just happened, and when she did, a loud laugh tore itself out of her throat. The sound was swallowed up by the music, surely, but Byulyi had turned back just in time to catch her stifling the rest of the it with the palm of her hand. The basketball player blushed even harder, if it was possible, and resolutely turned away, her posture seemingly set on getting the bartender’s attention.
Yongsun had managed to embarrass the other woman without even saying a word. Awesome.
- - - - -
Yongsun would have erased the memory completely out of mind if it wasn’t for Wheein bringing it up casually almost a week later.
“So… Byul-unnie was moping about the whole week. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you, unnie?” The twinkle in her eye made it clear that Wheein knew exactly what had happened. So Yongsun just huffed and buried her nose in her coffee.
Wheein, ever so happy, laughed again and leaned across the counter. “Well, I gotta say, unnie. Whatever it is you’ve done, you really shook her up. She’s been in a daze all week.”
And really, that wouldn’t do. Chorong had mentioned another game coming up in two days, and knowing how passionate her friend was about the sport, Yongsun knew she’d be crushed if they didn’t win again.
It took some time to track her down, but Yongsun did it. A day later found her marching up to Moon Byulyi, who was crossing the squares, obviously deep in thought, the way Wheein had mentioned. Yongsun noticed how she nearly bumped into someone without noticing at all - and Yongsun’s resolve just grew stronger.
“We need to talk.” Yongsun didn’t give her a chance to say anything in response. “Come with me.”
She knew the other girl would follow, didn’t even need to check. She ducked into the nearest building and followed the hallway down till it doubled back behind the cafe. When she turned around abruptly, Byulyi nearly crashed into her - only saving herself by catching the wall with a hand. They both blushed when they realised that it inadvertently trapped Yongsun between the basketball player’s body and the wall, and Byulyi immediately pushed back, looking everywhere but at her.
When she saw Byulyi tug on the sleeves of her long sleeved shirt, Yongsun softened to give the other girl some mercy.
“Snap out of it.” Okay, maybe she didn’t soften enough. Hey, no one could accuse her of not being straight to the point. “You have a match in two days and you have to win it.”
Byulyi’s brows furrowed as she began to frown. “What are you talking about?”
“This moping thing you’re doing.” Yongsun raised an eyebrow. “You seem to be very distracted, according to Wheein.”
“Wheein doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” She continued to mumble something that sounded suspiciously like “... and she needs to mind her own business,” - except Yongsun wasn’t going to linger on that. “And anyway,” Byulyi looked at her, irritation seeping into her tone. “What does it matter to you? You don’t strike me as the sporty type.” And again, that insufferable smirk. “I saw you last week. At the match. You looked so bored.”
“I don’t care.” Yongsun shrugged. “But Chorong does, and if you hurt my friend by not giving it your all, at least, then I’m going to be really mad.” That catches Byulyi off-guard, judging by the way she rocked back on her heels. Yongsun decided she didn’t like the wondering expression Byulyi had on even more than the smirk. “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just -” Byulyi frowned. “I can’t figure out how you think. It frustrates me.”
“Well, sorry I’m not just falling all over myself to explain myself to you.” Yongsun wasn’t very sorry at all, and made to leave. “That’s all I wanted to say. Don’t get distracted during the match. Bye.”
“Wait!” Byulyi grabbed her wrist in a grip that was barely one at all. When Yongsun turned to look at her, Byulyi came to herself and snatched her hand away. “Look. You can’t keep doing this to me either. Embarrassing me, turning my thoughts inside out, demanding things of me - it’s not fair to me.” Yongsun’s scowl was growing bigger with each word, but Byulyi had drawn herself up to her full height - which wasn’t that much taller than Yongsun, to be honest, but it was enough to keep her quiet and let the other girl finish. “So let’s make a deal. I win the match on Wednesday, and you go on a date with me.” When Yongsun opened her mouth to refuse, Byulyi wagged a finger in her face. “Ah-ah. I want something in return. At least a coffee date. On campus. At the cafe, even. Not even an hour. Spend one hour with me, and give me a chance to change your mind. About me. I think we - no,” she was shaking her head sadly. “We definitely got off on the wrong foot.”
And Yongsun - cursing her loyal heart - sighed and nodded. “One hour. But you have to win.”
And geez, Yongsun still didn’t like Moon Byulyi, but even she had to admit that the woman was absolutely stunning when she smiled that widely.
- - - - -
The Blades won. Chorong was happy. Yongsun should have chalked that up as a victory, in her books, but even that thought didn’t stop the nerves that were churning in her belly as she got ready to meet Byulyi at the campus cafe. At least Wheein was working that day. Yongsun would have a buddy to bail her out if things went sour.
As it was technically a date Yongsun didn’t want to be on, she shouldn’t have put in as much effort into her outfit as she did. She even did up her makeup, but she comforted herself by maintaining that the act of getting ready so seriously helped take her mind off the impending disaster that would be one hour spent in Moon Byulyi’s company.
At least it was a nice day out. Maybe she could convince Byulyi to take their drinks on one of the benches outside.
“Hey, unnie.” Wheein was smiling, as per usual. As she keyed in Yongsun’s hot chocolate, she discreetly gestured further into the shop. “She’s been waiting here for the past fifteen minutes.” Yongsun glanced at the clock behind Wheein’s head. She was early by ten minutes.
“You should go easy on her, unnie.” Wheein said when she placed Yongsun’s order in front of her. “I’ve never seen her this hung up on… well, anyone, really. And we’ve been friends since middle school.” Yongsun had to blink at that, while the barista just laughed. “Long story. But we grew up in the same neighbourhood.”
“You have to tell it to me sometime. Give me ammunition to use against her.” Yongsun had been watching Byulyi while waiting for her drink, the other woman not realising so because she had her back to the front door. “She needs to be taken down a peg or two.”
Wheein hummed fondly. “I can see why she likes you, unnie. You’re fierce.” The bell tinkled as another customer stepped in, and Wheein shooed her away. Yongsun thanked her for the drink and stepped up behind Byulyi, leaning over to see what she was doing. She let out a long-suffering sigh when she saw her phone screen, surprising Byulyi so much she dropped the object on the table with a squeak.
“If you’re trying to convince me you’re not creepy, this isn’t working.” Yongsun slid into the seat opposite her, crossing her legs as she gestured casually at her Instagram feed that was still up on the screen. “In fact, this is doing exactly the opposite.”
“I’m sorry, I just -” Byulyi started to stumble over her words, her hands flailing before she regained her composure and cleared her throat. “Well, I have you for one hour. No less.”
“Yes, you do.” Yongsun took a sip of her hot chocolate, relishing the taste of caramel. Wheein always made it just right.
Byulyi was watching her as she swallowed, before ducking her head away with a cough. “Sorry, again. I was just - well, I got here early and got nervous. Because I realised I don’t really know you. I hope it was alright to, you know.”
Despite herself, Yongsun’s mouth twitched. That sounded very much like something this woman would do. “I mean, it’s not like I know any much more about you. I mean: basketball player,” Yongsun began to count with her fingers. “Likes to come to things early, says sorry a lot, is lowkey a creep.”
“I am not a creep,” Byulyi whisper-shouted across the table. Her cheeks were burning red though, and Yongsun had to chuckle at that. “And… now you’re laughing at me. Great.”
“Okay, now it’s my turn to be sorry, I suppose.” Yongsun set her drink down and leaned forward slightly, remembering Wheein’s request. “I haven’t really been treating you kindly anyway.”
“And I haven’t really been giving you much reason to.” Byulyi smiled again, but it was one Yongsun had never seen before - not as cocky as the ones she’d given Yongsun that first day, but not as loud as the one she’d received in the hallway a few days ago.
Not that she’d been catalouging the different smiles Moon Byulyi has. Absolutely not.
But if Yongsun had to be honest, she would say that this one set her the most at ease. Felt the most sincere.
“Look, I kinda want to lay it all on the table here, if that’s okay, Yongsun?” Yongsun had to stifle her amusement at the way Byulyi literally placed her palms on the table, as if to specify that it had to be this particular table. “The honest truth?”
Yongsun already had a feeling she knew what Byulyi was about to say, but she couldn’t be sure. So she nodded and leaned closer still.
“Right,” Byulyi huffed, as if she hadn’t really expected to receive permission for her request. “Um, so. The first time I met you, I thought you were just another pretty girl. And I flirt with all the pretty girls - it’s kinda what I do. It’s hard for me to tell who’s interested in girls in general, so I just - try my luck, I suppose. But then you came along, and I thought you were just gonna be another pretty girl to kinda like, fantasize about, I guess.” And Yongsun could understand that. Being interested in people of the same sex was hard. “But then I got drunk and clearly -” Byulyi sounded so frustrated with herself, Yongsun had to hide a smile. “Drunk me was more hung up on you than I realised, and then it kinda went to shit. But I meant it when I said I was really into you.” A pause. “Am. Present tense. I still really am interested in you.”
And Yongsun felt her brain short circuit for a bit. Because yes, a rational part of her understood that that was what must’ve happened in order for Byulyi to be so affected by her actions and words, but the emotional part of her - the part of her she’d shut away a long time ago - had finally caught up to the reality.
And it hit her like a speeding train in that moment. Watching this confident - bordering on arrogant - woman in front of her turn into a teenage girl as she fiddled with a charm bracelet on her wrist, her eyes wide and open and vulnerable .
Holy shit, Moon Byulyi really did like her.
And Yongsun had been her usual obtuse and unkind self.
“Oh.” She could feel the heat in her cheeks, spreading over her neck, making her hands shake. “Oh, so that’s how it is.”
“I mean, I’m not asking for you to return my feelings or whatever. God, that sounded cheesy,” she muttered to herself, before staring anxiously at her. “But I’d like us to be friends at least. Or for you to not think I’m a - Yongsun? Are you okay?”
And Yongsun knew this was totally not the right moment to be having an anxiety attack -
But it had been a while since she had her last one and she couldn’t really control it -
And figures that it would be here, and now, in this crowded cafe, sitting across from this woman that had just admitted to having real, strong feelings for her -
The same woman who was now kneeling in front of her, not touching her but speaking to her softly -
Saying something that sounded like “Just listen to my voice, and let’s focus on breathing, okay?”
And wanted to snap that that was precisely the problem, that she couldn’t breathe, that she couldn’t control the muscles in her chest and that god, it hurt so bad -
But then something cold wrapped around her wrists, the back of her neck, and Byulyi was closer now, which should have made it worse -
But the cold was a good thing, something to focus on besides the pain -
And then Byulyi was saying “Good, good, just like that. Pull in the breath through your nose, and hold it till I say to exhale, okay?”
And Yongsun hadn’t realised she’d been following those stupid instructions in the first place, but her brain had finally cleared up enough that she could register that much at least.
“Good, good. You’re doing so well, Yongsun-ah.” And now Yongsun could see that Byulyi had somehow managed to wrap wet cloths around her wrists and was holding another one to the back of her neck, her eyes calmly and methodically searching Yongsun’s face for any clues as to her current state.
“Shh,” Byulyi moved one of her hands up to wag a finger when Yongsun tried to speak. “Just keep breathing for me, okay? Now one, two, three - inhale.” Yongsun did. “And hold.” She was surprised she was able to do it at all. “And… exhale.” They did it four more times till Byulyi was satisfied she was alright before pulling away the cloths. “How are you feeling?”
“Sorry.” Yongsun’s voice didn’t really work, raspy. “I didn’t mean to -”
“It’s alright. You can’t control it.” Byulyi’s voice was so full of understanding that Yongsun felt the her shame melt away. “Wheein gets them too. Though hers aren’t as serious as yours are. At least, not that I’ve seen. Here,” Byulyi offers Yongsun her hot chocolate. “Take a sip of that.”
And Yongsun is too tired to feel anything but grateful to the other woman, her hands shaking as she takes the cup. Byulyi helps steadies it without touching her at all, which Yongsun is grateful for, and she wonders when it was that Byulyi caught on to her dislike of being touched. Behind the counter, Wheein is watching them, clearly worried for Yongsun but confident that Byulyi had it control. She supposes she has her friend to thank for the cloths, and so she sends her a smile. Wheein smiles right back, appeased.
“Thank you.” Of course, Yongsun had her own system to help her get through it - but she couldn’t deny that having Byulyi help had been… relieving.
“Don’t worry about it.” Byulyi was still kneeling, her attention solely on Yongsun. “Can’t say that’s not the first time a pretty girl has lost her breath over me.” And Yongsun recognised it as her attempt to lighten the mood, and receives it with a laugh.
She couldn’t deny that the smile she receives is warmer than the hot chocolate she’s drinking.
“Do you want to take a walk?” Byulyi’s gaze was darting around, and Yongsun could feel the eyes on her, gawking at what had just happened. “The fresh air would help loads, I think.”
“Yes, please.” Yongsun was suddenly more grateful for the woman when she offers a hand up for Yongsun to take, not looking phased in the least when Yongsun doesn’t. She’s still a little shaky on her feet, and ends up stumbling before Byulyi catches her, letting her lean her weight against her side.
“Is this okay? We can wait till you feel stronger -”
“It’s fine. I just want to get out of here.” Yongsun shudders as she steps outside. “God, that feels better already.”
“Yeah?” Byulyi sounded relieved. “Good.” She made to guide her to one of the benches, but Yongsun resolutely shook her head. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” Standing on her own two feet, Yongsun took another step forward, her strength returning easily now that she wasn’t indoors anymore. “Thank you.”
“Like I said.” Byulyi shrugged. “Can I walk you home?”
“But it hasn’t been an hour yet.” Yongsun was nothing if not a woman of her word.
Byulyi rolled her eyes. “I don’t care about that. You need to rest. Your health comes first.” And damn if that statement didn’t make Yongsun melt a little bit.
The basketball player gestured towards the path back to Yongsun’s accommodation. “Let’s go?”
“Okay. But I owe you another coffee date.” Byulyi’s eyebrows raised.
“Like a date , date?” She sounded so hopeful that Yongsun had to give in.
“If you don’t piss me off on the way back to my place? Yeah.” And Byulyi positively lit up, any trace of her earlier apprehension gone. Yongsun smiled as she shook her head, beginning to walk back. “You coming?”
And damn if it doesn’t make Yongsun feel good that Byulyi almost scrambled to fell into step next to her.
“Anyone ever tell you you were bossy?”
“Anyone ever tell you you were shit at complimenting girls?”
“Hey, I know how to compliment girls! I just struggle with you ‘cause you’re not just an ordinary girl; you’re a woman .”
A pause. “Hey, Byulyi.”
“... yeah, I heard that one too. I’m sorry.”
- - - - -
Chorong tracks her down by the lakes on campus the next day, looking positively livid.
“What is this I’m hearing about you and Byulyi being on a date yesterday?” Yongsun looked up from her packed lunch, chewing on her mouthful to stall for time. “It’s true, isn’t it?”
“And a good afternoon to you too, unnie,” Yongsun muttered as she swallowed. When it was clear that Chorong wasn’t going to take the bait, Yongsun sighed. “Yes, we were.”
“And why wasn’t I informed about this beforehand? I could have helped you with your outfit! Your makeup!” Yongsun blinked as Chorong threw her hands up in frustration. “I live for these things!”
“Um, okay.” Yongsun wasn’t used to friendships like the one she had with Chorong. No one really sought her out for the sole sake of her company, or had offered to help her get ready for things like dates before. Not that she needed anyone’s help for that.
Somehow she doesn’t think that Chorong would appreciate hearing that.
Instead, what Yongsun says is, “It won’t happen again?”
“You’re damn right it won’t.” Seemingly done with her tantrum, Chorong sat down next to her, eyes gleaming. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Well, how did it go, you sneaky girl.” Chorong propped her head on her fist. “I want to know everything. I thought you didn’t even like Moon Byulyi.”
And Yongsun sighed as she pushed her food away, accepting that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy her lunch in peace without appeasing her friend.
Still, she wonders idly, as she watches Chorong hang on to every word, no doubt to disseminate the information to their entire friend group. She wonders when it was that she’d gained friends like these. Who looked out for her, who always had a smile for her and a listening ear. Who wanted to do things like sing at open-mic nights with her, and give her free shots of espresso in secret and help her pick out her clothes and makeup.
And, Yongsun continues to wonder if she would have met them at all, if it hadn’t been for a certain not-so-creepy anymore basketball player.
Maybe Moon Byulyi deserved more than one date after all.