Archive of Our Own ^beta

It all started when Hank and Nick were questioning a witness/potential suspect.

It was an average case, nothing too special, and thankfully not wesen. The kid was young, he was scared he was in trouble, but he was also a little arrogant and naive. They were in an interrogation room, and Nick had leaned forward, arms crossed on the table, and said, "Listen, we get it, alright? Sometimes, things slip in on us that we aren't ready to handle, and we can bury it under layers and layers of avoidance and denial. But it's still there. You just have to be brave enough to look at it."

Hank had given him a look, one he was not expecting, and later, when they were leaving the room with all the information they needed to book the kid's friend, Nick asked about it. Hank said he didn't know what Nick was talking about, but Nick distinctly heard Hank mumble, "Wish you'd take your own advice," under his breath.

He had asked, bluntly, what Hank meant by that, now officially annoyed, but Hank merely threw up his hands and said he didn't say anything. Nick had let it go because they needed to go out and find the kid's friend before anyone tipped him off, but he didn't forget about it.

He thought of it later as he was driving to Monroe's. What in the world about him could possibly be hiding under layers of avoidance and denial? He confronted things all the time—it was his job as both a detective and a Grimm.

He then told Monroe about it after his first beer, and Monroe smiled, leaned over from the couch to playfully flick Nick's nose, and said, "Whatever he meant, you'll figure it out." Sure as anything else.

So, he decided to keep an open eye out as he went on living his life. Which was hard to do considering Juliette got put in a coma then forgot him as well as Nick learned his mother was alive.

The first little something that clicked in Nick's mind that might allude to whatever Hank was referring to was when he was thinking about Juliette and how dangerous it could be for her being a part of his life, how he should let her go. She already didn't remember him.

He realised just how much he had been hiding from her, and he had to stop and ask himself why. They had been having a hard time in their relationship in general lately because of his big Grimm secret, and yes, there was a big part of him that worried she would think he was certifiable, but Hank learned of his secret and was made saner by it. He had wesen in his life, Bud coming to mind, that would have given her mild exposure and let her see the truth herself. He just kept her from it, and the realisation that he couldn't pinpoint why made him frown.

He told Monroe about it while Monroe made them dinner, and Monroe merely shrugged and said, "Maybe she just doesn't fit in that part of your life."

"But I was going to ask her to marry me," Nick told him as he stole a green bean from the stir-fry on the stove. Monroe whacked his hand with a wooden spoon Nick secretly thought he only cooked with to whack Nick when he stole bites, but he allowed it nonetheless. Nick continued, "I mean, since I became a Grimm, I hadn't thought about it that much, sure, but if you're at that level with someone, shouldn't you just automatically have a desire to share everything with them? Even if it's weird?"

Monroe shrugged again. "The Grimm thing is extra weird, you have to admit."

"Yeah, but, see I've been thinking," Nick said, jumping up to sit on the counter and stealing another bite, smirking when Monroe whacked his hand with the spoon again. "It's really not that weird to say that you think you saw something. And at the time Aunt Marie was telling me things, I didn't know what to think myself, let alone think of where it all leads. Why didn't I ever discuss it with her?"

"Didn't your Aunt Marie tell you to leave her?" Monroe reasoned. "Wouldn’t that put a dividing line in your mind?"

Nick sighed. "I don't know. I was already not telling her the things I thought I was seeing. And besides… looking back, I think Aunt Marie might have…"

He couldn't finish that thought out loud, and Monroe gave him a small smile and offered Nick another stolen bite.

The second click was when Nick was out doing mundane shopping, stopping to pick up fresh broccoli because Monroe had texted him to bring some with him. He noticed a clearance aisle, down which were some silly Christmas decorations, which were probably only in clearance because they weren't even close to Christmas. It seemed like something right up his Christmas-loving friend's alley, though, and as he was checking out with only the broccoli and decorations, he realised how much he had grown to depend on his friend.

Maybe that was why he didn't need the support of Juliette when learning about being a Grimm? Maybe it was because he had someone in his life already that he could talk to, and more than that, he had someone in his life who knew, like really knew, about this stuff? Come to think of it, Nick had begun to depend on Monroe right there in the very beginning, following him out deep into the woods searching for a missing girl and the wesen that had her. He took Monroe at his word, calling Hank to come help interrogate the guy.

He felt a little guilty at that thought. Guilty that he always questioned Juliette, if he was honest, but he never questioned Monroe. He counted on Monroe to not just be his confidant, but for his advice, guidance, and support.

The guilt disappeared inexplicably when he walked into Monroe's house and presented the Christmas decorations. Monroe's face split into a wide grin, and Nick laughed as Monroe walked around his house, planning on where he was going to put them next holiday.

The third click happened when Juliette came sniffing around, memory slowly fixing itself, and remembering that Nick had brought her to Monroe's house to tell her something important.

Despite his recent realisation that he could have eased her mildly into his world with someone like Bud, in reality, he brought her to Monroe. He was 'coming clean' as it were and brought her to Monroe's to do it. He realised this but didn't say anything and sent Juliette along her way.

Later, he and Monroe were in the car, coming back from finishing things up on the recent case, and he told Monroe about it.

"You trust me," Monroe said simply. "You knew I would have helped in whatever way you needed to calm her down or whatever, man. No offence to Bud, but he would have probably freaked out if she freaked out, and that wouldn’t have helped anyone."

Nick chuckled and figured that made sense.

The fourth click happened when he found out Monroe and Rosalee had gone on a date. It was said so casually; Hank and Nick having stopped by Monroe's for a quick question. Nick was floored. How could he have not known?

"You alright?" Hank whispered to him. Nick blinked out of his shock, realising he was just gaping at Monroe as Monroe was moving around in his kitchen. He cleared his throat and nodded.

He was in a bad mood after that. What was Monroe thinking? He couldn't date Rosalee… could he? They both worked cases with Nick and Hank, so wouldn't it be, like, one of those don't-date-a-co-worker kind of thing. Plus, they didn't really know Rosalee. She seemed alright, sure, but was Monroe serious? Like seriously?

He hated the ugly feeling he got just thinking about it, and by the end of the day, Hank had apparently had enough of his temper and snapped, "Just tell Monroe not to date her. I'm sure he doesn't mind waiting."

Nick frowned because that sentence didn't make any sense. "Waiting for what?"

Hank threw up his hands and declared he was going home for the night.

Nick, annoyed by his partner, decided to drive around a bit. He didn't want to go home—Monroe's home—where he had been staying. He went to the trailer instead, looking up Fuchsbau. The third time he was looking over the page, that was when a new thought clicked.

Nick didn't want to lose his friend. He really had come to depend on him, and he really didn't like the idea of someone else getting to know him like Nick did. Know him more than Nick did. And maybe he was just projecting because he was lonely? He didn't know, but it was unfair. Monroe deserved to be happy. Nick already took up so much of his time, dragging him around from case to case. He figured one day he was going to have to let Monroe go anyway. This weird co-dependency—because that was what this was, co-dependency—had been helpful for Nick while Nick hit rock bottom, but he should have kept in mind that their closeness now was temporary.

He started staying at the trailer at night after that.

The next click came just a few weeks later when Monroe literally had to die to get those bastards off his back, along with the arrival of Monroe's Blutbad ex. Nick was… terrified. Absolutely terrified. When Juliette called wanting to have dinner, it was with a very muted acceptance that he went, and his heart sped up when he saw it was Monroe calling him away. And then everything happened, and the being terrified thing? That wasn't muted. That was sharp, and stung, and made his hands shake a little.

Hank had put a hand on his shoulder when it was over and said, "Breathe. He's alright. See? He's okay. Just breathe."

Nick shoved his hand away and told him he was fine, but he wasn't. He went to spend the night that night at Monroe's, who laughed at him and called him overprotective.

The click, as it were, happened while he laid awake on the couch, firmly telling himself that it was over, that Monroe was fine, and he realised just how much Monroe meant to him, and the clicking part was the realisation that he survived losing Juliette, but he seriously didn't think he could survive losing Monroe, and he had no idea how to process that.

In the morning over coffee, Nick looked Monroe right in the eye and said, "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

And Monroe smiled, brightly, and said, "Yeah you do. You'd keep on hunting wesen and chasing bad guys. It's what you do."

"No, Monroe," Nick tried to press, "I seriously… I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you. Do you have any idea how scared I was last night?"

Monroe's face softened, and he stepped closer and put a hand on Nick's shoulder. "I'm alright, Nick. And I'm going to stay alright because I have you. I'm not going anywhere. You haven't lost me."

And they hugged, briefly, and Nick felt much better, had been uplifted in a way only Monroe seemed to be able to do

Another, small, barely there click happened a couple weeks later when Nick woke up from a certain dream that had him blushing when he saw Monroe next. Monroe saw, frowned, and Nick told him to forget about it, it was nothing, weird dream, and Monroe laughed and teased him for a few days once he got Nick to admit what it was. And it was nice, really nice, that something like that couldn't make things awkward between them, and suddenly, little things like, "Thanks, handsome," and funny things like, "Careful, this dish is hotter than Nick in a speedo," became common between them. Hank would give him a look every now and then, but Nick would just tell him to shut up. It was just Monroe.

The next click happened when he learned of Juliette and Renard and moved out again. Hank found him in his trailer, a few beers in for the night, and he said something that made Nick frown and consider.

"You survived losing her before. Besides, are you sure you didn't go back to her just out of habit? You deserve to be happy, Nick. You deserve a chance to build something new, not try to repair something that's been stripped down again and again. I know it sucks, man, but come on. Let me drive you to Monroe's?"

Nick sighed and agreed, grateful for his partner and confident that his friend would make him feel better. And that was the click, no matter what, Monroe always made him feel better. Juliette used to be that for him, but their relationship was so broken now, a friend had taken that place.

At least he did have Monroe. The damn Blutbad who had somehow become a bright silver lining.

The final click snapped neatly into place not long after.

He was staying with Monroe again, and Hank had stopped by to pick him up, bringing with him fresh strawberries. Nick had just finished his coffee, and Monroe was falling head over heels with the strawberries. Nick didn't remember how it even came up, but it was something around Monroe rambling on about the fruit and something like, "and I have this ex who's all about tomatoes. He has this huge farm on the edge of the city-"

And Nick blatantly interrupted, "He?"

Monroe shrugged, unperturbed, still studying the strawberries. "Yeah, I have few ex-boyfriends. Ex's really do build up twice as fast when you're bi. Anyway, he has this tomato farm, right?" and went on with the story.

Nick's entire world tipped, and as Monroe took a bite of a strawberry and moaned at the taste, that last click happened.

He could feel Hank's eyes on him, and Monroe, bless him, was so busy with his strawberry, he hadn't noticed how Nick had just frozen and was gaping at him. He was going on and on about whatever, Nick found himself just absorbing the babbling man, the wetness of his lips, the tongue that dashed out to chase the flavour there.

It hit him like a fret train, and the only thing he could do, the only thing that made sense, was for him to walk over, grab Monroe by his sweater vest's collar, and kiss him.

Monroe made a loud surprised sound, having apparently dropped his strawberry so his hands could grip Nick's biceps, but nonetheless, kissed him back like it was an automatic response. Slowly, the kiss turned from a firm, stiff this and into a real kiss, where Monroe relaxed into him, and Nick opened his mouth more, and peaks of tongues touched.

Unhurriedly, Nick pulled back just a little, resting his forehead against Monroe's, and Monroe let out a breathy chuckle. "That just happened."

Nick chuckled, too, but before he could say anything, Hank from beside them, typing on his phone as though bored, just snorted and said, "About freakin' time."

That just served to make Nick laugh outright, and he said to Hank, arms circling around Monroe's waist, "Layers and layers of avoidance and denial, right?"

"Wait…" Monroe said slowly, looking between them and wrapping tentative arms around Nick as well. "Me? That was what Hank meant?"

Nick nodded at him, feeling a happiness he had given up on feeling ever again spread across his chest.

"Wow," Monroe breathed, relaxing fully into the embrace. "I had no idea. I mean, not that I'm complaining, I'll have you every which way from Sunday, but I didn't think you felt anything."

Hank snorted again. "Layers and layers, man. Layers and layers."

Nick smirked and gave Monroe another, albeit quick, kiss. Monroe responded in kind, smiling at Nick, then his features faltered a little. "Who's going to tell Rosalee and Juliette?"

Hank sighed heavily, shaking his head as he pocketed his phone began to walk toward the door. "Layers and layers," he repeated.

Nick and Monroe frowned at each other.

"What do you think that means?" Nick asked him.

Monroe shrugged, clearly just as confused.

Almost a year later when Rosalee confessed to having feelings for Juliette, Hank grumbled about expanding their friend group so he could start winning bets over his bunch of dumb, blind white folks.