Archive of Our Own ^beta

He did it again. She tapped the pen a little harder against the desk, squinting her eyes as she chewed on the inside of her lip. This made it the fifth time he had checked his phone in the last ten minutes. Call her paranoid, but she always stuck by one rule, and it had served her journalistic career well: Once Is Chance, Twice is Coincidence, Third Time Is A Pattern. So five times? That's in a whole other ballpark.

It finally buzzed and he damn near sent his desk through the roof as he shot forward to grab it, only a moment later to be put back down with an award-winning pout that could be used for charity funding with how deflated he looked. When another five minutes passed with his eyes constantly flicking back to the little black device, she finally cracked when it looked like he might reach for it again.

"What the hell is up with you?" His hand paused mid-air between his keyboard and the phone, and his eyes shot up to look at her in surprise.

"P-pardon?"

"You and that damn phone." she hissed, not missing how he slightly blushed and returned his hand to his keyboard. They looked like they were resisting the urge badly, a little twitch in his fingers as his eyes trailed from hers back to that blasted thing for a second. "What could be so important that you jump every time it makes a sound?"

Clark coughed, the twitch in his fingers increasing until he rubbed a hand on the back of his neck almost like his body had to do something with the need. She watched, trapping him under her gaze in a way she knew made him uncomfortable. He was a man who hid from the world and making him her sole interest would rattle that transparency until something fell out, and as usual, he never failed to provide.

"I'm expecting a text."

She rolled her eyes at the blatant vagueness. "No shit Sherlock, I guessed that. From who, Santa Claus?"

He bit his lip awkwardly, visibly deciding if he should reveal it. She tapped her pen a little harder.

"A friend."

"A friend?" she repeated, sarcasm dripping from her tone. He nodded, eyes straying yet again. And then something, maybe the minute lifting of the corner of his lip as he seemed to think of this friend clicked something into place in her brain. Her pen stopped tapping. It was like having a wall of unrelated pictures and events with lines across the whole expanse. Up close you couldn't see anything connect, it was a mess that was impossible to distinguish into any visible pattern. But as Clark's eyes seem to glaze over at his screen, the smile growing that ever little bit bigger, she sat back in her chair, stepping away from the wall to see all the lines correlate into one big fat glaring answer.

This wasn't any ordinary friend. This was a love interest.

It felt like a slap to the face, and in all honesty, she was a little insulted at herself for not seeing it before. The canceled plans, his more than usual absent head, his large smiles and let's not forget about the phone call she caught the tail ends off as he hung up with a little giggle the other week. He was in love.

Oh my god.

When she finally snapped back into reality Clark was looking at her, a concerned crease in his brow as she realized she had just said that out loud.

"Lois, are you alright?"

"You're in love!"

The crease got deeper. "What?"

"You!" she giggled, sobering as the wool lines started to stretch out again. One answer was never enough for a reporter, after all. This just opened a whole new tin of worms. "Wait, but who?"

"Who?"

"Yes, who are you in love with?"

"Uh, I'm afraid I don't really understand you right now, let alone have an answer for that."

She started to chew her pen in thought. Clark didn't know a lot of women, sure he had other friends she hadn't met, but the last time she saw his contact list there were only a handful of people on there. His mom, her, Lana and a few other names she had some inkling belonged to his work buddies at his other 'job'.

"Lois?"

She couldn't pinpoint when his behavior changed exactly, but she guessed they would have met within the last three years. But then that led to more problems because Clark wasn't the type to go for a quick wind romance, he's the type who would have a slow turmoil. He forms bonds with people over time, all that Kansas sentimentality and double life living meaning his love life was always second flank. Unless she disappeared with him everytime some villain wraps him up in time travel or he was off-world on missions they wouldn't have seen each other for large gaps of time these last few years. To most girls, disappearing acts near the start of a relationship were red flags.

"You're doing that face."

They must have known each other for quite a few more years then. Or maybe she knows? Maybe, just maybe, she could be into disappearing acts herself. She could very well be apart of the league, its the only reasonable place Clark could actually meet someone and spend enough time with them to actually get to know someone. The only problem with that was that officially he was a taken man, and even if it were fake Clark wasn't the type of person who could cheat on something that doesn't even exist in the first place, and even if he did he must have known this mystery woman before that even started.

"Why did you agree to this fake relationship with Bruce?" She asked suddenly, looking up at him. She had partly understood before, thought it was a little bit if not totally excessive, but if the bat was involved then there must be some method to the madness. But of course, that was before a love interest was added to the mix, given that it fits the time frame after his behavior changed. Why cock-block himself from a love fest to a homosexual show? He must have known that it would cut off any outside interest.

He looked taken aback by the question, "Um, I already told you, Lois. I thought it was a good way to have on hand cover stories for us both." He eyed her wearily. "Are you sure your okay?"

Well, that changed things. Clark Cock-blocked himself? She frowned at him as the wall got a little bigger, an itch tickling the back of her mind as the lines started to slither and make new connections. Something just wasn't adding up about all of this. She had thought the bat set it up, but Clark did? He was most definitely in love though, that much was certain. And that relationship gave him covers sure, but it's not like he really needed them. He didn't really, in fact, the more she thought about it. If anything it made it harder on his little secret because it dragged him out into the spotlight. So it left the question, what did he really gain from being in a relationship with Bruce, except...

"Oh my god, it's Bruce," she whispered, and then widened her eyes after a long pause when it hit home."Jesus Christ, you're gay. That actually explains so much, no wonder I never bloody noticed!"

"What?"

"You totally ignored Janet from filling."

Clark pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Janet?"

"You didn't ever call back that girl from the coffee shop, and she was hot Clark."

"I wasn't interested."

"I'm not surprised because It's always been Bruce, it makes sense now."

"Lois, your not making any sense. Gay? Janet? What's always been Bruce?"

"The person you're in love with!" she flailed her hands towards him, "It's Bruce!" As Clark's eyebrow raised she scowled at him. "And you!" She threw her pen in his direction. "How could you not tell me? All this time letting me think it was fake!"

The pen hit him square in the chest and Clark looked at it as it fell to the floor and then back at her, shutting his eyes as he shook his head. "Okay, again. What?"

"This relationship, the phone calls, the gift baskets!"

"The phone calls?"

"The phone calls. You giggly giggler you, god why didn't you tell me?"

"Lois, I don't know what you're even talking about."

They stared at each other for a while, or more she stared at him. A few emotions ran through her: anger at being lied to, annoyance at the lies. But the look of total and utter confusion on his face would take even an award-winning actor effort to fake. She deflated under it, her own confusion twisting her face into a questioning look to match his. It was hard to process, but somehow she knew he was telling the truth here, and it felt harder to absorb than when she found out Bruce Wayne was the god damn Batman.

"You seriously have no idea do you?" she eventually asked,

He looked off to the side awkwardly and back again. "-no?"

"You are in love with Bruce Wayne."

A full-bellied laugh suddenly burst from him, "Wow okay Lois, good one." He bent down chuckling and picked up her pen, pointing it at her before placing it on his desk. "I'm pretty sure I would know if I was in love with Bruce Wayne of all people."

"Would you though? Because you didn't even know you were an alien until you were 8." She pointed out, "Even with all the signs flashing neon."

He sobered at that, pouting a little. "I knew I was different."

"Right, okay." She pursed her lips in thought, deciding on another tactic. "So what's the difference between how you act with me and how you act with Loverboy?"

"Well that's a bit of a hard one," he muttered, ignoring the pet name. "Bruce isn't the type of guy you have a relationship with like I do with you. He isn't exactly normal."

"And why isn't he normal?"

"Lo, the man dresses as a bat."

Okay, he had her there. Should have expected that to be his answer, to be honest. She shook her head, looking out of their office as she decided on a better tactic. And as if by chance, her better tactic stepped out of the elevator wrapped in an Armani suit with a million dollar smile. Oh, this is going to be fun.

"Taking that out of the equation," she said, watching as the man all but strut between the desks. And oh what luck, he was heading straight for them. She looked back to Clark, schooling her features. "Why is he different to me?"

Clark slowly slouched back in his chair, his eyes blinking slowly. "He's the total opposite of me, Lois, in nearly every way. He's infuriating, rude and so stubborn that sometimes I just want to punch him in the face. We hardly agree on anything, and god forbid If I am right since he will still be mad at the end of it because it wasn't his way." He breathed in, pausing as a small smile broke his face as his eyes seemed to light up. She noted the softness in his voice when he started to speak again. "But at the same time, he's the best man I've ever known. With you, we talk, I know everything about you. But with Bruce its like a puzzle, just when I think I've got him figured out he will do something or say something that throws me for a loop.

He's got a presence about him that just consumes you, you want to know everything about him because you sit back and realize you actually know nothing about the man despite fighting alongside him for 7 years. It's like a challenge. The challenge of finding out who the real Bruce is, what he likes and doesn't like. Does he read or not? I want to be able to tell people when they ask instead of thinking, well when he's angry his nose scrunches up and his bottom lips pouts because its the only thing I can think of."

Ah, there was the line she was waiting for. "What does my face do when I'm angry?" His eyes focused at the question, and she could see the cogs turning in his mind, could pinpoint the moment he came back with nothing. She smiled softly at him. "The truth is friends don't care much about that stuff Clark, even you. And that's the difference."

"Oh but boyfriends do, Lois Darling."

Clark startled like a spooked animal and a small bark of laughter left her as Clark truly dented the underside of his desk with his knee as he squeaked out, "Bruce!"

The man in question grinned, his teeth sharp as his face morphed into a more sensual look as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed loosely against his chest.

"My name always sounds so good coming from your lips."

She didn't think Clark could look anymore petrified, but as Bruce slinked forward, his motions like silk as his arms fell and one landed on the nape of his neck with a slight squeeze she was proven oh so very wrong. Especially when he started to thread his fingers in something almost like a massage through Clark's hair.

"What were you two talking about I wonder?"

Lois smiled, showing just a little bit too much teeth. "We were having creative differences on an article. Care to offer insight?"

Bruce laid his free hand on his chest, his face an exaggerated look as if saying Who, me? She had to give it to him, it warped even her mind imaging him as the bat.

"Its just a gossip column, Bruce, might be right up your street. Plus it's been causing Clark a little bit of bother."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" He shooed Clark's arms from his lap and took their place, and Lois swore Clark stopped breathing as Bruce nestled into his side. She noted his hands snaked around Bruce's midsection, though. Weather he did it on purpose or not she couldn't tell. "What is this villainous article that has been causing my big boy so much trouble?"

It took a moment for her brain to catch up beyond the sight before her. Whether it was Bruce stroking the back of Clark's head, Clark himself looking ready to hyperventilate at having a lap full of Bruce or the Wink and absolutely dirty smile Bruce had when he said big boy as if she would take it any other way she wasn't sure.

"It's- It's about two people in Hollywood, can't give names you understand, too early yet." He nodded eagerly at her. "They have a bit of a thing going on, you know, everyone else can see it but they can't type deal. They spend a lot of time together, could probably tell you every about the other. They change around each other, its quite cute actually. Clark agrees with them that nothing is going on though, but I have more than a strong feeling its more a question of when. What do you think?"

Bruce hummed, then hummed again louder. She wondered if he caught on, noticing a calculating look in his eyes. "Sounds saucy to me, ever think they might just be having sex?"

No, she didn't want to think about that, to be honest. "It's plausible." she agreed, sparing a glance at Clark as he seemed to pale further. "But one of them at least is starting to get my point of view I think."

When she looked back at Bruce he was giving her an interesting look, and she couldn't figure out what was behind it. "Sounds like us, doesn't it Clark?" Bruce suddenly giggled, and she froze as he splayed his hand against Clark's chest. Oh shit, he knows.

"What?" he suddenly barked, bouncing Bruce on his lap as he jumped. Bruce shot his hands to wrap around Clark's neck to keep from falling off.

"This article truly is winding you up isn't it?" he asked, pouting."I just meant how we were friends for a few years, meeting only for business and articles and then we just happened to see something one day and now I can't imagine getting satisfied by any other person than you." he looked to Lois, a glint in his eyes. They both let out a large sigh as it seemed no, Bruce didn't catch on as he said, "God, you should see what this man can do with a tie and some cowboy boots-"

"Bruceno." Clark blurted a little too fast, a frantic chuckle slipping out as his whole face bloomed red. "Say, why are you in Metropolis?"

"Ever the Kansas prude." Bruce pinched his cheek smiling, then made an O shape with his lips as if he just remembered something. He stood, Clark's hands falling away as Bruce patted the side of his face affectionately. "I almost forgot I have a meeting with Perry, something about business and sales and whatnot, not really sure what help I'll be but I get to visit my favorite reporter so I won't complain." He smiled turned over to Lois. "Other than you, of course, my dear."

"Of course." she agreed.

"Anyway, I must get to it I suppose." he sighed, bending down and planting a kiss to Clark's lips. It lasted for longer than was acceptable, seemed a little suggestive, and she bet in her mind that when Clark removed his hands from the chair arms there would be dents from how tensed he looked. "I'll be in metropolis overnight, you know my hotel." He stood upright, stroking down his suit. She saw his eyes slyly look in her direction, almost as if he was studying her for god knows what. "Bring the boots, won't you?"

As he walked towards the door he looked over his shoulder, "Oh and Lois? I'm with you I think, they will end up together, ill watch out for the headline."

The silence stretched long after Bruce had sauntered out with a wink, and she watched Clark patiently. Saw him go through the stages of denial, his face scrunching and relaxing, eyes flicking over his desk as he mouth opened every now and then as if he were going to say something. The phone screen came to life and they both looked down at it to see the background picture; Clark with his big smile and Bruce looking like a reluctant participant crushed under a large arm. But he was looking at Clark, the corner of his lip tilted upwards being the only sign he found slight amusement in the situation.

He finally tore his eyes away from the picture as the screen went dark again and looked up at her. Acceptance at last.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

She smirked. "Look on the bright side big boy, Bruce thinks you will end up together too."