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When Ryuji came back to his senses, he was on his knees. His vision was blurry, and he blinked twice to make it go back into focus. He heard screams close to him, but his mind was hazy… What had happened?
There was a black form on the ground, in front of him. He blinked again, and it became a little clearer.
“Joker…?”
He reached for his friend, and as soon as his hand touched his hair, he realized something was wrong. Really wrong.
He quickly pulled his hand away, looking at his palm. Red… He was bleeding. Ryuji’s heart jumped, and flashes of what seemed more like a nightmare than reality passed through his mind: he was hit by a shadow, and suddenly, everything around him warped and made no sense… Akira, who had been fighting by his side that whole time, suddenly turned into a monstrous shadow in a bloodied dark cloak, with chains around his body and guns on his hands… The Reaper. Ryuji was taken by the conviction that it would kill them all if he didn’t do anything… If he didn’t…
He suddenly couldn’t breathe. The feeling of his weapon hitting the body beside him, the sound of something breaking… He had done it.
Shit… Shit, this couldn’t be happening…
“Akira…” he called reaching again for the body close to him, forgetting completely to use the codename. “Akira, answer me…”
But he didn’t. Ryuji’s body grew cold, and leaned in Akira’s direction, turning his body around so he could see his face.
It was terrible… The left side of his face was deformed and covered in blood, and his skin was devoid of color. Ryuji couldn’t move, it suddenly became hard to breathe.
“Akira…”
No, please… Not this… Not him…
He was barely conscious of a pair of hands grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Skull…”
Ann’s voice sounded distant. She kept talking, but he couldn’t pay attention to it. The part of his mind that was still able to think was screaming at him that he should do something to save his best friend. He tried to reach for Akira again, but those arms struggled to keep him in place.
“Skull, stop!”
He felt a sharp pain on his face. Before he could fully understand what happened, Ann hugged him against her chest.
“Calm down…” she asked in a low voice. “Don’t look at him now.”
His heart sank. What did she mean by that?
“Ann…” he muttered.
“Shh… It’s alright, keep calm.”
“I… I did it…”
As he said it, a heavy feeling of guilty grew on his chest, suffocating him.
“It wasn’t your fault…” answered Ann. “You weren’t yourself.”
“I hurt him…” he proceeded, his voice failing mid-sentence. “Ann, he might be dead…”
“He isn’t. Mona is taking care of him right now.”
Ryuji opened his mouth to answer, but instead, a loud sob left his throat. Tears left his eyes as he cried loudly, and he felt Ann’s hand on his head, trying to comfort him.
“It’s alright…” she said. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”
“He was bleeding so much…” proceeded Ryuji. “It’s my fault… I did it…”
“Stop. Blaming yourself won’t help.”
“But I—”
Morgana’s voice interrupted him.
“He’s coming back!”
Ryuji almost jumped in their direction, looking at his friend’s face.
“Akira!”
Akira tried to sit, and Ryuji helped him, keeping an arm on his back. Akira placed a hand on his head, where Ryuji had hit him, groaning in pain.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I…”
Ryuji’s voice broke.
“I’m sorry…”
He was crying again. Just thinking about what happened — and especially what could have happened — was more than he could handle. Akira stared at him, confused.
“What…?” he asked. “Why?”
“I did this,” said Ryuji. “I hurt you. I saw you as a shadow, and…”
He couldn’t finish his phrase. Akira looked at him for a while, then averted his gaze.
“I see…”
For some reason, that simple response filled Ryuji’s chest with anger.
“What the fuck, man?” he said in a loud tone. “I almost killed you, and this is all you have to say? I should be protecting you, but I…” He made a brief pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was no more than a mutter. “I thought you were dead… I was so fucking scared…”
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“It could’ve been any of us,” he heard Morgana’s voice. “This is how dangerous what we’re doing is.”
“That’s right…” agreed Ann. “We all knew we could get hurt when we became Phantom Thieves.”
Ryuji opened his eyes again, glancing at his companions. He hesitated a little before looking at Akira again. He tried to say something, but Akira did it first, a small smile on his face.
“Buy me some apology ramen, and it’s fine.”
Of course he’d say something like that.
“You…”
Ryuji was ready to get angry again, but he couldn’t. He was way too relieved to hear that voice again, and by the simple idea of going out with him to eat ramen together. Such a stupid thing… He never imagined it could mean so much to him.
“Ok,” he answered, instead.
They decided to end their exploration on Mementos for the day. Morgana assumed his car form, and they drove back to the entrance. Ann took the wheel, despite not being so used to it, so both Ryuji and Akira — who weren’t in their best condition for different reasons — could rest on the back seat.
Long minutes passed in silence. Ryuji was still relieved to see Akira alive and well, but… But how could he forget what he did? How could he act like nothing happened, on the next day? What worried him the most was how that could change his relationship with Akira… Would he be able to trust him after he—
“Hey…”
Akira’s low voice brought him back from his thoughts. He looked at his friend, who had his eyes on him.
“Stop worrying,” he asked.
Ryuji didn’t answer immediately, and he felt Akira’s hand on his, holding it. He had taken out his glove, and his skin felt cold, as usual, but the feeling of proximity was comforting. Without thinking too much about it, Ryuji turned his own hand, entwining their fingers.
“I’ll try,” he said.
Akira rested his head against his shoulder, and Ryuji leaned his head against Akira’s. A small action, but enough for him to know everything was going to be alright.