Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeongin looked at the scene in front of him at a loss of what to do. He couldn’t even really process what he was seeing.

They had had a busy day. It started early with a pre-recording, then a meeting to finalize some details for their comeback. Then their manager had dropped them off at the company and Chan had instructed each of them to work on their parts for the song, before a group practice that would be followed by dance practice.

Jisung had gone with them to the two first schedules. Then he had claimed to be feeling unwell – and he did look a bit sick – and had gone back to the dorms to rest. It wasn’t ideal, not so close to their comeback, but Jisung was doing well in both, vocal and dance practices, so Chan had decided to allow him a bit of rest, lest the boy get sicker.

Jeongin had gone home earlier, too. Chan had sent him ahead, because Jeongin had managed to learn the full choreography already, and Chan wanted the others to have it down as well before they all practiced together. And so Jeongin had headed back to the dorms, and he was already dreaming of a little nap before the others arrived when he opened the door and was greeted by… well, that.

Now, they all knew Jisung was childish. Not all of the time, obviously. The boy could get pretty serious when practicing, writing or performing. But he was also the one to lighten up the mood of the group and hype everyone up, always ready to play around and be silly to make sure everyone was smiling.

And that was when he was purposefully childish. There were also times when he did it without noticing, something Jeongin had started taking note of since he first arrived. The way Jisung nosed the others to asked for cuddles or the way he often poked others to get attention when he was bored were only a few of the things he did that weren’t really expected from a boy his age.

Now, despite all that, and despite Jisung often walking around with his pacifier in his mouth… Jeongin was not prepared to come home to the boy sitting on the living room floor, pacifier in his mouth, colouring a colouring book as Doraemon played on the background.

He watched the scene for a while. Jisung didn’t look sick. He looked peaceful and even happy. He was sucking on his pacifier and colouring a picture of Pororo, and sitting on his lap there was a stuffed fox Jeongin had ever seen before. Then Jisung moved to get another crayon and the toy fell from his lap. Jisung gasped and picked the toy up.

“Sowy, Fwower!”

He said, putting the toy back in his lap, carefully. Jeongin was intrigued.

His eyes moved to scan the boy. Jisung was wearing clothes that were too big for him, and that, from all Jeongin remembered, belonged to Chan. He was wearing sweatpants and a large baby blue sweater, and his feet were covered by little rabbit socks. Jeongin bit on his lip, smiling. He looked adorable, he had to admit that.

Carefully, the maknae took off his shoes, trying to be silent as he entered the room. Then he promptly kicked a stray cap that had been lying on the floor and cringed as Jisung jolted up, startled. Their eyes met. For a second, neither of them moved. Then Jisung gulped.

“Hyung…”

Jeongin started, but it was too late. Jisung quickly picked up his things and then rushed out of the room. But not before Jeongin could see the panic and tears in his eyes.

Jisung cursed as he put his things away and shoved his box of ‘little stuff’ inside his closet where no one would try to touch it. There were tears running down his cheek, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when he knew Jeongin had seen him. Not when he was sure the maknae would tell the others all about this and get Jisung kicked out of the group.

He couldn’t believe he had been so careless. He had been doing this for over a month and he had never been caught. If he hadn’t decided to go out of his room he wouldn’t have been caught. But he had been greedy and careless, wanting more space, and now this was the result.

Jisung had come across the term ‘ageplay’ a few months earlier. It had happened a while after Chan got him his pacifier and he noticed how much he enjoyed sucking on the thing. This knowledge had led him to remembering a few things he had buried deep in his mind over the years, like the times he had lingered in front of toy stores and the baby aisle at the supermarket, a weird feeling in his stomach that now, years later, he identified as a mix of want and embarrassment.

It also led him to noticing a few things he did that he thought were normal, but actually weren’t that common on a seventeen year old. Like biting people to show affection. Or poking people and pulling on the clothes to get attention. Or whining when he wanted something and pointing at it with his nose, instead of asking for it. Among others. And all of that together had led him to searching things up in the Internet, which, in turn, had led him to a forum where he had discovered a whole world.

At first he had been scared and embarrassed. There was no way he was like that. He couldn’t be. That wasn’t normal and he couldn’t be like that. It was weird enough that he needed a pacifier, but actually acting like a little kid? He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t want that. So he had rejected the idea completely.

Unfortunately, he had underestimated how much he related to those people. He caught himself thinking about the things he had read time and time again over the week, until he gave up and started looking more into the it. And the more he read, the more he found himself in those words. Until the day one post, specifically, spoke so directly to him that he could no longer deny it.

‘Being little is not really a choice.’ The post said. ‘It is who you are. It’s not something you can turn on and off, it’s something that’s part of you. You can choose to never act on it, but no matter what you do, you will always have this more childish side. We know how to control it, obviously. In work environments or other places that require a certain degree of formality we act just like any other adult. But if we're with close friends in a comfortable environment this part of us just comes out, even if we're not actually in headspace.’

Jisung related to that so deeply it almost hurt him. He saw himself in that person. He knew how to act around other people. He was nice and kind and knew how to make small talk if required. But when they were at the dorms, just the nine of them, and he felt safe, his little childlike characteristics did come out almost involuntarily. And that was the moment when Jisung finally accepted that maybe he was, indeed, a little.

From there to actually acknowledging that and what it meant, however, there was a lot of time and a few tears and frustrated breakdowns. No one witnessed those. Jisung made sure to hide them, even if lying to Chan was one of the most painfully difficult things Jisung had ever done. He’d rather lie than have the boy look at him as if he was a freak. And then one day an opportunity for him to actually be little had presented itself, and Jisung had been so stressed and strung over that he had taken it.

He had taken a few more comfortable clothes and dressed himself in them, then he had picked up one of the stuffed toys he had gotten as a present from fans, and then he had headed over to his bed, putting on Doraemon on his computer and settling down to watch it with his stuffed animal, pacifier in his mouth. It had been easy, from then on, to relax. He had watched two episodes before growing bored and deciding to go on an adventure around the room with Flower, the stuffed fox.

It had been fun. It had been incredible fun, and when Jisung was forced to leave his headspace as he heard someone arriving at the dorm, he was sad and disappointed. He wasn’t ready to come out, yet, but he had to. So he forced himself to come out of headspace and put things back in place before going out to meet whoever had just walked into the dorm.

After that, he had taken a while to try being little again. He didn’t want to. After the relaxation passed, on that first time, he had been mortified, and he had promised himself he would never let himself do that again. Except that was easier said than done. It didn’t take long for him to start feeling overly childish, and the urge to be little became stronger and stronger, until he couldn’t take it anymore and let himself slip on a day they were supposed to be practicing with their vocal coaches, individually.

After that, he had repeated the process of push and pull four more times. It wasn’t the best mechanism, and he knew that. He let stress pile up too much before finally breaking down and accepting that he needed his headspace and allowing himself to get into it. And then he had to create excuse after excuse to justify being home alone, and usually he got only an hour or so alone, which meant he often had to force himself out of headspace before he was ready to do so. And this wasn’t healthy. He knew that. But what else could he do?

And now all of that work had gone down the drain.

Jisung sighed, drying the tears on his cheeks and sitting down on his bed, face buried in his hands. He heard a knock, and if it depended on him he would send Jeongin away, but he knew the boy would just ignore him. So he didn’t answer. Jeongin entered nonetheless. Jisung heard the boy sigh, then Jeongin sat next to him and placed a hand on his thigh.

“Hyung. Can you look up?” Jisung shook his head. Jeongin’s hand squeezed his thigh. “Hey, I’m not going to say anything about this. I just want to understand.”

He said. For some reason, that made Jisung want to cry even more. Probably an effect of getting out of little space so suddenly.

“I-I didn’t m-mean to.”

Jeongin rubbed his thigh.

“You didn’t mean to what, hyung?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“You we-weren’t supposed to f-find out.”

Jeongin sighed.

“Hyung. Please look at me.” And this time Jisung couldn’t deny it. He put his hands down and looked at Jeongin through watery eyes. The boy gave him a little smile. “Good. Now can you explain to me what, exactly, was it that we weren’t supposed to find out about?”

Jisung shook his head.

“A-ageplay.”

Was all he said. knowing Jeongin wouldn’t know the term. And indeed, the boy frowned.

“Ageplay? What it that, hyung?” Jisung shrugged, but didn’t reply. Jeongin sighed. “Ok, how about this. I’ll look it up, so you don’t have to talk. And then I ask you the questions I have.”

Jisung sighed. He wanted to say no, to forbid Jeongin from looking it up. But he knew it was useless. Besides, Jeongin had already seen. He already knew. He would find out the rest sooner or later. So he nodded. The maknae beamed at him.

“T-the others…”

Jisung mumbled. Jeongin shook his head.

“I won’t tell. Don’t worry.”

And saying that he smiled at Jisung and left the room. And Jisung was left alone to mull over his stupidity.

Jeongin didn’t stay away for long. Less than half an hour later he was back, barely containing a bright smile.

Jisung sat up as the youngest entered the room. He bit on his lip, knowing what he was about to hear, and made space for the younger on the bed. Jeongin sat down.

“Hyung… are you really a little?” Jisung felt his cheeks reddening at the question. He shrugged. “Because that’s, like, the cutest thing ever.”

Jisung blinked, surprised. Jeongin was smiling widely at him.

“C-cute?”

Jisung asked. Jeongin nodded eagerly.

“Yup. Adorable. Were you in headspace when I arrived?”

Jisung’s blush was still there, but Jeongin’s words had taken a ton of weight from his shoulders.

“Uhn, yes, I-I was.”

He said. Jeongin squealed. Jisung’s eyes widened startled.

“That’s so cute, hyung! Do you always do this?” Jisung shook his head. Jeongin pouted. “Why not?”

Jisung bit on his lip, and Jeongin looked around, before spotting the boy’s pacifier and handing it to him. Jisung blushed, despite always using it around the dorm, but accepted.

“No time. Thewe is always someone else in the dowm. It’s hawd to be awone.”

He saw Jeongin deflate a bit.

“Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

The maknae asked. Jisung shrugged.

“It’s… it’s weiwd.”

He said. Jeongin tilted his head.

“Even after we’ve accepted every little quirk that has come up in the group, you still think we wouldn’t accept this?”

Jisung felt his eyes watering.

“It’s diffewent. The othew things… awe things we don’t contwow. Binnie ‘yung is scawed of the dawk. Lix is scawed of thundew. Jinnie wets the bed. This is diffewent.”

Jeongin sighed, then awkwardly dried a few tears that had spilled from Jisung’s eyes.

“Hyung, it may be different, but we accept it just the same. I read in the website that it’s a coping mechanism. You need your coping mechanisms.” Jisung looked down. “All of us have our own mechanisms. Yours… yours just happens to be much cuter than everyone else’s.”

Upon hearing that, Jisung looked up.

“You… you weally don’t cawe?”

He asked. Jeongin nodded.

“I don’t care. I think it’s adorable.”

He assured.

“Even if I sometimes want to be cawied awound and fed? Even if I want to dwink fwom sippy cups and watch cartoons?”

Asked Jisung. Jeongin nodded.

“Even then.”

Jisung fiddled with his fingers for a bit, then gave Jeongin a quick embarrassed hug.

“Thank you, Innie.”

Jeongin smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, hyung. Now tell me some more about little you. I’m curious.”

Chapter Text

After that first time, Jeongin and Jisung talked about ageplay a few more times. Jeongin was always the one who brought it up, and Jisung answered his questions with a blush on his cheeks. He knew, however, there was a question that underlay all of Jeongin’s minor questions: would he ever get to see Jisung in little space? And if it depended on Jisung, the answer to that would be no.

He hadn’t been little ever since Jeongin found out. Not even on his own. He did feel a bit better about himself, knowing Jeongin accepted him and was actually interested in the whole thing, but that wasn’t enough for him to fully accept that part of himself. He didn’t think anything would ever be enough for him to accept that. And if he didn’t like being little when he was alone, there was no way he would let Jeongin see him running around playing with toys.

The thing was, though: he was stressed. They had had their comeback – finally – and Jisung thought that would make things easier. But then JYP had decided to put out tons of other videos besides the music video for their title track. Which meant the group was always either at a music show, or practicing, or filming something, and there was very little time for them to relax. Or breathe. And Jisung was tired.

Now, Jisung had a few coping mechanisms. He had always known there was something a bit… different in him. He had always felt too much. Too much pain, too much sadness, too much everything. His mother used to tell him he was too empathic. Jisung believed her. To him, the world was a sea of feelings, and he was a bad swimmer, so he often got overwhelmed by them. So he had learned to cope.

Writing lyrics helped a lot. He took all of the beauty and the crudeness he saw in the world and transformed that in songs. It was a beautiful process, to him, taking all of that and putting it in a song that people could listen to and relate to. It made him feel less suffocated, less lonely. When he started doing it, he hoped one day it would help other people too. Writing lyrics was his favourite mechanism to de-stress.

Except at the moment the last thing Jisung wanted was to write lyrics. He was exhausted. He could barely think from tiredness, he wouldn’t be able to write anything at all. And that left him with his second coping mechanism: his pacifier. Which he couldn’t use, because he could see, clear as day, that as soon as he put his pacifier in his mouth he would start feeling little, and he couldn’t be little. He just couldn’t.

As it was, when they were given a free afternoon after finishing their filming schedule earlier than predicted, Jisung had decided he would sleep as soon as he was home. Which would have been a great decision, if his tiredness had anything to do with lack of sleep. The problem was: it had nothing to do with that. He was physically tired, yes, but mostly, he was mentally and emotionally drained. There were too many cameras, too many people all the time. He needed to relax. Not to sleep.

He could have managed to force himself to sleep, though, if he could use his pacifier. But he couldn’t. If he did, he would slip. And he couldn’t slip. Now, if he already missed his pacifier when he wasn’t stressed, he would never be able to sleep without it when he was so stressed. He knew that. He remembered the time he had to suck on his – Chan’s, but he preferred not to think about that – thumb to sleep, because he had forgotten his pacifier at the dorms. From the moment his head hit the pillow he knew it was a lost battle.

He still tried. He rolled around for a long time, trying to get his brain to shut up so he could sleep. He was on the verge of crying from sheer frustration when something nudged his lips. He opened his eyes, startled, and found Hyunjin looking at him, Jisung’s pacifier in his hands. Seungmin and Jeongin were behind the older.

“Here. It’ll help.”

The older said. Jisung cursed mentally. He couldn’t deny it. If he did, Hyunjin would be suspicious. He sighed and put the pacifier in his mouth. As he began to suck, he felt himself slipping.

“Thanks, Jinnie.”

He mumbled. Hyunjin smiled.

“Go to sleep, Sungie, I can see you’re exhausted. Min, Innie and I are going out.”

Jisung nodded, not looking at the older. Hyunjin ruffled his hair and then the three of them left.

As soon as the door closed, Jisung spit his pacifier. Unfortunately, his body didn’t seem too happy with the action. He sighed angrily, tears forming in his eyes, and buried his face in his pillow, and then he was crying.

Jeongin bit on his lip as Hyunjin closed the door.

“Hyungs, hey. I-I think I’ll stay here.”

He said, deciding he couldn’t leave Jisung alone at the moment. He could see the boy was distressed, and he had a pretty good idea as to what was the cause of that. Hyunjin frowned.

“What? Why?”

Jeongin shrugged, trying to find an excuse.

“I’m kinda tired. It’ll ruin our walk in the park if I fall asleep halfway there.”

He said. Seungmin pouted.

“We can do something else?”

He suggested. Jeongin shook his head.

“No, you two can go. Seriously, don’t worry about me. I’ll just stay.” The other two didn’t seem too happy. Jeongin bit on his lip. “And when you come back we can cuddle.”

He said. Hyunjin and Seungmin’s faces lit up. Jeongin loved his boyfriends, but he wasn’t that big on skinship and they knew it. So if Jeongin was offering it willingly, who were they to deny?

“You’ll be in the middle.”

Said Seungmin. Jeongin chuckled.

“Sure, hyung.”

The two beamed at him, then pressed kisses to his face and left, waving at him excitedly.

Jeongin laughed. He loved his boyfriends. Then he turned back to their room and sighed.

Jisung sat up startled when someone touched his shoulder. When he noticed it was Jeongin, his lower lip began to tremble and he made grabby hands at the younger. Jeongin rushed to sit down, pulling Jisung to his lap.

“Sungie, hey. It’s ok, don’t cry.”

He said, rubbing the boy’s back. Jisung buried his face on Jeongin’s neck and continued to cry.

The maknae looked around, spotting Jisung’s pacifier lying on the bed and picking it up. He nudged the boy on his lap, and as Jisung looked up he put the pacifier in his mouth. Jisung closed his eyes, eagerly sucking on the pacifier. His sobs slowly died down.

After a few minutes of rubbing the boy’s back, Jeongin pulled away to look at Jisung’s face. The boy’s eyes were barely open, and he was still sniffing a bit, but there were no more tears. The maknae smiled. He bounced the boy a bit, before shaking him softly to get his attention.

“C’mon, Jisungie, let’s go wash that face.”

He said. The boy opened his eyes and shook his head.

“No out.”

He said. Jeongin frowned.

“No out?”

He asked. Jisung nodded.

“Out othews.”

It took Jeongin a few moments to understand what the boy was trying to say. Then he tilted his head.

“There are other people outside?” He asked. Jisung nodded. “They’re in their rooms, you don’t have to worry.”

He said, trying to convince the boy. He could tell Jisung was in headspace at the moment, and he wanted to take care of the boy, but he had never been the best with kids. Jisung shook his head.

“No.”

The boy said. Jeongin sighed.

“Jisungie, you need to wash your face. I promise no one will see you.”

At that, Jisung looked at him.

“Pin’y?”

He asked, lifting his little finger. Jeongin smiled at the victory.

“Yes, pinky promise.”

He said, linking his little finger with Jisung’s.

Jeongin made sure no one was around as he pulled Jisung to the bathroom. They entered and Jeongin closed the door, and then the two of them stayed still for a while, until Jeongin noticed Jisung wasn’t going to wash on his own. Shaking his head at his own inability to help the boy, he pulled Jisung close to the sink and helped him.

He tried to take away Jisung’s pacifier so he could wash the boy’s face more easily. Except as soon as he took it out of Jisung’s mouth the boy’s eyes widened and filled with tears. Thankfully, Jeongin was fast enough to give it back, apologizing, and Jisung calmed down quickly. Jeongin smiled to himself. Jisung was cute like this.

As they finished, Jeongin decided they could have a little trip to the kitchen. It wouldn’t be too much of a problem if the others saw them, as long as Jisung didn’t speak. And with his state at the moment, Jeongin didn’t think he would. He picked up a cup of water and the leftover strawberries they had on the fridge, all with Jisung clinging to him, and then the two of them headed back to their room.

Once inside, Jeongin put the things down.

“Ok, Sungie, there’s a few things we need to do. First we need to change your clothes. Then you have to drink some water and eat a little bit. And then we can do something else. Ok?” Jisung was looking at him with wide eyes. Jeongin sighed. This was harder than he had expected. He sat Jisung down on the bed. “Sungie, Innie will get you more comfortable clothes. Can you wait here?”

Jisung’s face lit up in understanding and he nodded, although he didn’t seem to fond of the idea of letting Jeongin go. The maknae was quick to choose a sweater from Hyunjin’s wardrobe, and since Jisung was already in sweatpants that was all he needed. He then helped the older out of his shirt and pulled the sweater over his head, and then he couldn’t help but to giggle.

Hyunjin’s sweater was way too big on Jisung. It was slipping off on his left shoulder, and his hands were almost fully covered. It was adorable.

Jisung frowned and crossed his arms at the giggle, and Jeongin noticed the boy was blushing. He rushed to pinch Jisung’s cheeks.

“You look so cute, Sungie.”

He said. The boy visibly relaxed, smiling behind his pacifier.

“Sun’ie ‘ute?”

He asked. Jeongin smiled and nodded.

“Adorable. Now can you give Innie your pacifier? You need to drink water.”

Jisung pouted, but obeyed, and Jeongin was surprised. He had expected Jisung to be a much more bratty little. But then again, maybe it was just the situation. Jisung was tired, and Jeongin had noticed him slipping a few times over the week, acting more childish than normal and trying to cover it up. He was clearly struggling with this side of himself. Maybe once he started accepting it he would show a different side of his little self.

“Good boy. Now take this and drink, then you can eat.”

He said, handing Jisung the cup. He should have known, really, that it was a bad idea. Jisung held the cup with both hands, looking at it weirdly, before taking it to his lips. At first it was fine, and then Jisung tried to look at Jeongin while he drank and promptly spilled half of the content of the cup on himself. Jeongin was quick to react and took the cup away before all of it spilled, but the mess was already made.

Jisung looked at him, eyes wide and brimming with tears.

“S-sowy!”

He said, hiccupping. Jeongin immediately put the cup down and dried the few tears that had fallen from Jisung’s eyes.

“Oh, Sungie, it’s ok. It was an accident, accidents happen. Innie was dumb to give you the cup like that, it was my fault. Ok?”

Jeongin said. Jisung sniffed.

“O-otay.”

He said. Jeongin smiled.

“C’mon, let’s change those clothes.”

He helped Jisung stand up and undress, then looked inside their closet again and picked out the best outfit he could find.

It should be weird, really. Here he was, seeing Jisung naked, helping his band mate and hyung get dressed. But for some reason it wasn’t. The way Jisung held on to him as Jeongin helped him put on his pants and how he obeyed Jeongin and lifted his arms to put on a new sweater… it was all so innocent that Jeongin didn’t even think for a second to be embarrassed.

Once he was done, he sat Jisung back down and picked up the cup again, this time helping Jisung drink from it. Then they moved on to the strawberries. Jeongin fed Jisung one, then expected the boy to eat the rest alone. When Jisung just stared at the fruits without taking them from the bowl, Jeongin chuckled and fed him until the bowl was empty.

And then there was nothing else to do. Jeongin put the cup and bowl away and looked around, trying to figure out what to do next.

Jeongin felt a tug on his shirt and looked back at Jisung. The boy was chewing on his lip.

“Yes, Sungie?”

The younger said. Jisung was blushing.

“Paci?”

He asked. Jeongin smiled and looked for the boy’s pacifier, giving it to him once he found it. Jisung sighed happily once he had it in his mouth.

“Sungie, what do you want to do now?” Jeongin asked. Jisung stared at him for a few seconds, then pointed at a pile of stuffed animals on the corner of the room. Jeongin tilted his head. “You want a plushie?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“Fwower.”

He said. Jeongin frowned, then remembered the night he had walked in on Jisung playing in the living room. He looked at the pile of plushies and groaned.

“Oh, man.”

Jisung pulled on his shirt again, and Jeongin couldn’t help but to chuckle as he remembered how many times Jisung did that even in his adult headspace.

“Fwower?”

He asked. Jeongin nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll get Flower for you, Sungie. But can you help me look?”

Jisung nodded eagerly and held his hand out. Jeongin didn’t see a reason to hold the boy’s hand, since they’d be walking five steps, but he held it anyways.

In the end it wasn’t so hard to find the plushie. It was near the surface, and Jisung seemed to have a pretty good idea of where he had put it. After a few minutes searching he pulled the stuffed toy from the pile with a big smile and showed it to Jeongin, before hugging the toy close to his chest.

“Fwower.”

He repeated once again, and Jeongin chuckled. Jisung was good with words. He composed all of his rap parts for the songs Chan made, and helped with the singing parts to. As a little, however, he seemed to have a quite restricted vocabulary.

“Now what do you and Flower want to do?”

Jisung and Jeongin ended up playing with Flower and a stuffed toy Jisung had taken from the pile and given to Jeongin. Playing was a bit of a challenge for the maknae, since Jisung’s speech was quite hard to understand at times. But as time passed and he heard the little more and more he started to get better at understanding.

They didn’t play much, though. After less than an hour Jisung had started yawning, and then he had crawled over to Jeongin and snuggled against the younger, falling asleep in a few seconds on Jeongin’s lap. The maknae couldn’t help but to laugh at how adorable the boy was.

It was quite a task to get Jisung to bed, but at least the boy was small and light, so Jeongin managed. Once he had put the boy to bed, he covered him and decided no one would really say anything if they saw Jisung sleeping with a plushie. He pressed a kiss to Jisung’s forehead and left the room.

When Jeongin, Hyunjin and Seungmin went to bed, after a movie and the cuddle session Jeongin had promised, the maknae glanced at Jisung. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed the boy’s plushie wasn’t with him and that he was wearing different clothes. He figured Jisung must have woken up in his adult headspace and changed and put Flower away, embarrassed about it. He sighed. He would have to talk to the older.

“Innie? Are you ok?”

Jeongin looked at Hyunjin, startled, only then noticing he had been staring.

“Yeah, yeah. Just glad to see Sungie asleep. He looked pretty tired today.”

Seungmin, from his bed, made a noise of agreement.

“He did look pretty tired. Has he been sleeping this whole time?”

Jeongin didn’t like lying, but he couldn’t tell them, so he nodded.

“I think so, yes.”

Hyunjin chuckled.

“At least he’ll be really well-rested tomorrow.”

He said. Seungmin laughed and Jeongin joined them, heading to his bed. He sent Jisung one last glance and closed his eyes. He hoped the other two were right.

Chapter Text

It took Jeongin about one hour to notice Jisung was avoiding him, and a full day to fully process that fact.

On his defence, they had a full schedule. He had been happy when he woke up and saw Jisung eating breakfast, seeming more relaxed and well rested than he had been in a few days. Then he had noticed that Jisung wasn’t meeting his eyes and was trying to put as much distance as possible between them whenever possible. And then, by the end of the day, when Jisung exchanged places with Felix to ride in the other van, Jeongin understood what the boy was really doing.

Jeongin sighed as he rested against the van’s window. He should have expected this. He could see, whenever he brought up ageplay, that Jisung was embarrassed about that side of him. The boy always blushed and tried to end the conversation as soon as possible. Jeongin had been trying to get him used to talking about it in an attempt to get him to understand that no, Jeongin didn’t mind, and no, it wasn’t that weird of a coping mechanism.

Except it didn’t seem to be working, proof of that being the fact that Jisung had had to have a full breakdown before allowing himself to be little and was now pushing Jeongin away because the maknae had witnessed the whole thing. So Jeongin decided it was time for a firmer approach. He just had to find the time to do that.

It wasn’t easy. Three days went by before Jeongin decided that fuck subtlety and dragged Jisung away from the others after dinner, claiming that Jisung owned him for a bet they had made. He then had dragged the older to the building’s last floor, where no one lived, and made Jisung sit down next to him.

For a while he waited for Jisung to talk. To ask him what he was doing, to scream at Jeongin from dragging him away like that, anything. Jisung didn’t. He just hugged his knees and stayed silent. Jeongin sighed.

“You’ve been avoiding me, hyung.” Jisung didn’t answer. “Why are you avoiding me?”

The younger asked, although he already knew the answer. Jisung looked away.

“You saw.”

Was all he said. Jeongin sighed.

“Is that so bad?”

He asked, trying to speak softly despite his frustration. Jisung shrugged. Then nodded.

“I… it’s not normal.”

He said. Jeongin closed his eyes. He needed to be patient.

“Hyung, we’ve been over this. It’s your way to de-stress. You need it.”

Jisung sighed and turned to Jeongin, eyes tired.

“Innie, you had to take care of me. You had to wash my face, change my clothes, feed me, help me drink water. It’s, that’s not…”

He stopped, frustrated for not finding the words.

“Yeah, and it was nice.” Jeongin said. Jisung opened his mouth to reply, but Jeongin wasn’t done. “You were adorable, and so sweet. I wanted to keep you in my lap forever, and I don’t even like hugs, hyung.”

Jisung looked up, searching Jeongin’s eyes for something. He seemed to find it, but he still sighed, half defeated half tired.

“I just, I don’t see how you’re ok with it.”

He said. Jeongin shrugged.

“It’s adorable. You’re really cute, and there are far worse ways that a person can use to get rid of stress. As far as coping mechanisms go, this is pretty harmless. And, as I said, absolutely adorable.” Jisung bit on his lip, chewing on it. Jeongin reached over and pulled his lip from between his teeth. Jisung looked at him and Jeongin smiled. “I’m not good with the whole feeling talk, hyung. You know that. But I can promise you that this whole thing is adorable to me, and I’m willing to help you with it. I’m new to this, I’ve just learned about ageplay and all that, so I’m going to make mistakes along the way. But I’m here for you. I’m here to help in whatever way I can.”

Jisung managed to smile, drying his eyes to keep the tears from falling.

“So cheesy.”

He mumbled. Jeongin laughed and Jisung did too.

“Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

Jisung laughed. Then he took a shaky breath and spoke up.

“I… I have a hard time feeling little. Well, no, I actually feel little often, but it’s hard to… you know.”

Jeongin almost squealed in joy. Jisung was actually talking to him. He was actually admitting that he felt little and wanted to be little. Jeongin hadn’t expected his little speech to have such a quick effect.

“You have a hard time letting yourself be little.”

He said, helping the boy out. Jisung nodded.

“I want to relax and be little, but I just get scared and embarrassed, and, yeah.”

He wasn’t looking at Jeongin, and his ears were red, but it was a huge step. Jeongin hummed.

“I can help you. I think I’m actually pretty good at telling when you feel little. And when I don’t notice you can tell me. Pull on my shirt or something and I’ll know what you need.”

Jisung’s blush had spread to his cheeks and neck.

“You can tell?”

He asked. Jeongin chuckled.

“Not that that’s a bad thing, but you’re usually really loud, hyung. When you get quiet and cuddlier I know there’s something there. Plus, it’s not very teenage-like to nose people like a kitten to get attention.” Jisung hid his face in his hands and Jeongin laughed. “But it’s pretty cute.”

He completed. Jisung groaned.

“I hate you.”

He said. Jeongin laughed.

“We have a deal, then?”

Jisung sighed, but nodded.

“Thank you, Innie.”

Jeongin smiled.

Jisung sighed and turned around, snuggling closer to Chan. He had tried to sleep in his own bed for almost an hour, before noticing he wouldn’t be able to. His conversation with Jeongin kept going through his head, and the idea of their deal was both, scary and exciting. Jisung liked being little, that much he could admit, although not without an edge of embarrassment. So he was a bit excited to try being little without having to worry about how much time he had and all that. But the idea of Jeongin seeing him like that was scary, even though the boy had already seen it once.

“Sungie?” Jisung almost jumped at Chan’s voice. “Are you ok?”

The boy asked. He didn’t question why Jisung was on his bed. He was used to that already.

“’ouldn’ sleep, ‘yung.”

Jisung mumbled around his pacifier. Chan moved a bit, then put his arm around Jisung, pulling the boy closer. Jisung sighed happily and let Chan hold him. A few moments later he was asleep.

It took a while for Jisung to start feeling the effects of their prolonged schedules again. A week, more or less. It had taken three days for him to want to be little again, but he wasn’t about to tell Jeongin about that. There was a difference between wanting to be little and needing it to de-stress. Jisung still wasn’t at the point where he could admit that he sometimes just wanted to be little because he liked it.

As it was, a week after their conversation, Jisung was whining that Felix wasn’t giving him attention when Jeongin called him over. He got up, happy to have someone who was willing to give him attention, and walked over to the boy. Jeongin smiled at him.

“Hyung, Lix hyung is about to murder you.”

Jeongin said as Jisung approached him. Jisung pouted.

“But I wasn’t doing anything.”

He said. Jeongin snorted.

“Yeah, sure. I bet he loves getting poked and bitten.” Jisung blushed. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. “Jinnie is out helping Wooj hyung with the choreography. Min is at vocal practice. The others are busy.”

Jisung understood what he meant and his blush deepened.

“Uhn, ok.”

He said, not sure what he should do. If he was being honest, he just wanted Jeongin to take him by the hand and treat him like he had when he found Jisung crying in his bed. If Jeongin started talking to him like that, Jisung would quickly let himself be little.

Fortunately, Jeongin seemed to catch on. He took Jisung’s hand and pulled the older into their room.

“Ok, Sungie, first of all let’s get you out of these clothes.”

Jisung smiled shyly.

Jeongin gave himself a pat on the back as he noticed – five minutes after getting Jisung into the room – that the boy had already completely let go of his adult headspace. He had been doing some research ever since he offered to take care of Jisung. He had looked up how to talk to a little, what activities were good for each age group and all that, and it was definitely worth it to take better care of Jisung. He had also looked online for things to buy, but he hadn’t gone as far as to actually buy it. He wanted to get to know little Jisung better before that.

He had dressed the boy in one of his shirts, an old space themed shirt that Jeongin didn’t really use anymore. Then he had put the boy in one of Hyunjin’s pull-ups, and Jisung had been embarrassed about that, because he still wasn’t that deep in headspace.

“I-I don’t need it.”

He had said. Jeongin had sighed.

“Sungie, I found the sweatpants I put on you last time in the washing machine. With your sheets.”

Jisung’s blush had deepened, but he had let Jeongin put the pull-up on him, and then a pair of shorts, since it was a bit of a hotter day.

Currently, Jisung was drawing with the four crayons he had in a box that Jeongin had discovered existed a few days earlier. It was Jisung’s box of ‘little stuff’ as he called it, and Jeongin had been sad as he noticed the only things in there were Jisung’s plush fox, Flower, the four crayons, a colouring book, and a few toy cars. He had taken the box anyways, and gotten the toys out.

Jisung had beamed at him as Jeongin presented him with a sheet of paper, and then had pulled Jeongin to sit on the floor, getting comfortable on the boy’s lap and getting his paper to draw. Jeongin had laughed, and scooted back so he could lean against the bed and play on his phone as Jisung drew.

Jisung had already drawn on the two sides of the first paper Jeongin had given him, and was busy colouring his Pororo colouring book when he began to squirm. At first Jeongin ignored it. But as Jisung started moving more and more, the maknae decided to check what the problem was. He came face to face with an uncomfortable looking Jisung.

“Sungie? Are you ok?”

Jisung had blushed.

“Y-yes.”

He had said. Jeongin didn’t quite believe him.

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

He asked. Jisung whined and turned around to hide his face on Jeongin’s chest. Jeongin chuckled. Jisung pouted looking up at him.

“Why Innie laughing?”

He asked, and Jeongin learned, in that moment, that Jisung was even more sensitive in little space than in his adult headspace, and that he wasn’t always the same age when he regressed.

“Sorry, Sungie. I’m not laughing at you, I just think you’re really cute, and it makes me happy.”

He said. Jisung was still pouting. Jeongin bit on his lip, then shrugged and pouted back. Jisung’s pout deepened and Jeongin exaggerated his own pout so much it became comic. It had the desired effect, and a second later Jisung was giggling. He put his hands on Jeongin’s cheeks and pressed them lightly, squishing the younger’s face.

“Innie ‘yung funny.”

He said. Jeongin smiled proudly.

“C’mon, little boy, let’s take you to the bathroom.”

After their little trip to the bathroom, Jisung didn’t feel like painting anymore. Which was a problem. The thing about Jisung’s lack of toys and other little stuff was that there weren’t that many options of activities for him to do. He could colour or play with his plushies. And that was it. They couldn’t go outside to explore or play running games. They couldn’t bake. There weren’t many options of things to do.

“Sungie, wanna watch Doraemon?” Asked Jeongin. Jisung was on his bed, pouting, arms crossed. He shook his head. Jeongin sighed. “What about playing with Flower? I bet Flower really wants to play.”

Jisung whined and shook his head again, tears filling his eyes. Jeongin was panicking. He had already done everything he could think of. He had fed Jisung, had taken him to the bathroom, had given him his pacifier, had offered to do every possible activity with him, had… he raised an eyebrow.

Without saying anything, he walked up to the little and picked him up. Jisung immediately clung do him, resting his head on Jeongin’s shoulder, and Jeongin hit himself mentally for not thinking of this sooner. In his defence, he was new to this. He wasn’t expecting the boy to get grumpy because he was tired.

“Sungie, are you sleepy?”

He asked. Jisung whined.

“Not sweepy.”

He replied, yawning. Jeongin chuckled to himself and walked around the room, rubbing Jisung’s back and thanking heavens for how small and light Jisung was. Had it been any of the others – save for Changbin – Jeongin wouldn’t have been able to carry them.

In a few minutes Jisung was asleep. Jeongin smiled and put the boy down, covering him and making sure his plushie was still in his hands. He took a look at the time, then set an alarm to half an hour later. He knew better than to let Jisung sleep all he wanted. He didn’t want the boy to stay awake the whole night after that.

Jeongin thanked heavens for the fact that Jisung wasn’t grumpy when he woke up. He still had a lot to learn, had no idea what he would have done if Jisung had thrown a tantrum because of being woken up. As it was, the boy had simply blinked his eyes open, and then had made grabby hands at Jeongin and clung to the younger like a baby koala.

Now, Jeongin wasn’t too fond of hugging and skinship. He preferred showing his affection through words and small actions. But Jisung was too cute like this for the boy to deny him, and Jeongin found out he didn’t hate holding the boy all that much.

“Had a dweam.”

Said the little, voice showing his sleepiness. Jeongin sat down on the bed with the boy still in his arms, and started caressing Jisung’s hair.

“Yeah? What was it about?”

He asked. Jisung rubbed his eyes and smiled softly.

“Had Fwower and Innie and Channie ‘yung, and we pwayed together.”

He said. Jeongin raised an eyebrow as Jisung mentioned Chan.

“That seems very nice. Did we have fun?”

He asked. Jisung nodded eagerly, seeming more awake now.

“Pwayed aaaaall day together! A-and Fwower gived Sungie a fwower.”

He said, then giggled at himself, making Jeongin laugh too, because each moment that passed made Jeongin wanted to squish Jisung more and more.

“That’s so nice, Sungie. And what else?”

Jisung was now smiling widely, gesturing and bouncing on Jeongin’s lap as he spoke.

“We-we runned together, and we e-even met a bunny! A-and Channie ‘yung cawied Sungie, and Innie tickled Sungie and we had lots and lots of fun.”

Said the boy. Jeongin took note of the boy’s excitement and smiled.

“Oh yeah? Was it a bit like… this?”

He asked, and proceeded to tickle the boy’s belly. Jisung squealed, squirming away from Jeongin, laughing.

“Innie, no!”

He said, but Jeongin could tell the boy clearly didn’t want him to stop. He laughed and got up.

“Better run, Sungie, or the tickle monster will get you.”

He said. Jisung squealed and ran away, and their room was way too small for this, but Jisung didn’t seem to care at all as he hid behind Hyunjin’s bed.

It was easy to Jeongin to catch him, and they played like this for quite some time. Jeongin caught Jisung and tickled him, and then he let Jisung run away only to tickle him again. It was fun, and Jisung seemed to be having the time of his life. Jeongin smiled to himself, thinking that finding out about Jisung’s little side was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

Chapter Text

Chan sighed as he looked at Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix, who were on the couch, watching a movie and talking. Or, well. Felix and Hyunjin were watching a movie and talking. Jisung was curled up between them, pacifier in his mouth, occasionally poking Felix and laughing when the boy glared at him. And that was what Chan was looking at, trying to understand what he was missing.

“Hyung, I can hear you thinking from my room.”

Changbin's voice behind him startled him. Chan shifted his attention from the trio on the couch to the boy, blinking slowly. Changbin chuckled.

“Sorry. I was distracted.”

Chan explained. Changbin raised an eyebrow and glanced at the trio on the sofa.

“With…?”

He asked. Chan sighed.

“Do you think Sung has been acting kind of… childish, lately?”

He asked. Changbin snorted.

“Lately? More like since I met him, hyung.”

Chan frowned.

“No, that’s not what I mean. He has always played around and been goofy with the others, but… I don’t know. It’s a different type of childish.”

Changbin nodded and Chan raised an eyebrow, confused.

“I know what you mean. And he has always been like this, Chan.”

Chan frowned.

“Are you sure?”

Changbin nodded.

“He sometimes just plays around like everyone else, but sometimes he just… I don’t know, pokes people to get a reaction, giggles at everything and whines to get things he wants. He has always done that.”

Chan sighed.

“Why, though?”

He asked. Changbin shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He said, but Chan had a feeling he did know something. “I thought you noticed it.”

Chan shook his head.

“Not really.”

He said.

“Well, it’s gotten a bit worse, lately. Maybe that’s why you are suddenly noticing it.”

Chan nodded at Changbin's theory.

“Maybe. Should we… ask him about it?”

Changbin shrugged.

“I mean, if you want to…”

Chan grimaced.

“I don’t know how I could bring that up, though.”

Changbin chuckled.

“Hyung, you worry too much. Look, it’s not hurting anyone. You can talk to him if the topic comes up, but there’s no hurry to do it. Ok?”

Chan sighed.

“Ok.”

Changbin smiled.

“Good. Now what do you say we go back to that song we were working on? You told me you were going to get water and never came back.”

Chan smiled apologetically.

“Sorry,”

Changbin chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Let’s go.”

Chan continued to notice Jisung’s different behaviour. He also started noticing how Jeongin seemed to intervene whenever it got too bad, and how Jisung seemed calmer and more relaxed after that. There was definitely something going on there.

Chan didn’t mean to feel jealous. He could tell this thing between Jeongin and Jisung, whatever it was, was helping Jisung, and he was glad that someone was helping the boy. But when he asked Jisung about it the boy simply changed the topic as fast as he could, never answering Chan, and the older was… well, he was jealous. He was supposed to be the one Jisung came to for help. Why was he suddenly being exchanged like that?

His comfort was the fact that Jisung still went to his bed to sleep with him when he was anxious and couldn’t sleep. At least for that time Chan could still take care of the boy.

Changbin had noticed Chan’s jealousy, of course. And he had told Chan, once again, that he should just talk to Jisung and tell the boy how he felt about their relationship. They were working on a song when Changbin brought it up once more.

“Maybe he’s embarrassed about letting you take care of him so much, hyung. So if you tell him you like doing it he’ll let you do it.”

He said, when they entered the ‘Jisung topic’. Chan sighed.

“He probably hates me babying him. It’s probably why he’s being so distant.”

Changbin snorted.

“Oh, trust me, hyung, Jisung doesn’t hate being babied.”

Chan raised an eyebrow.

“And how do you know that?”

He asked. Changbin laughed.

“Because I have eyes, Hyung. Look, I’m tired of you whining about this. I can promise you, Chan, that if you tell Jisung about this he won’t think it’s weird. I can promise you that.”

Chan looked at the younger boy, then sighed.

“Promise?”

Changbin beamed.

“Yes. Now please go talk to him.”

Chan’s eyes widened, but Changbin was already pulling him up and shoving him out of the door.

“Wait, what? Now? But I…”

“Bye, Hyung! Later you can tell me how it went.”

And that was Changbin hugging him just to close the door on his face right after. Chan sighed. No time like the present, they say.

Chan spent the whole walk from the company to their dorm talking to himself and trying to figure out the least weird way to tell one of his best friends he liked taking care of and babying him. It helped him focus on something else other than his anxiousness about Jisung’s reaction, but it did very little to ease his pounding heartbeat. Chan had to keep himself from turning around and running back to the studio at least three times during the walk.

And then, as he entered the dorm, everything he had been practicing vanished from his mind.

Jisung with a pacifier in his mouth wasn’t a weird or uncommon image. But Jisung with a pacifier in his mouth, wearing a onesie as he built something with Lego Duplo wasn’t something Chan was expecting to see as he entered the dorm. He watched, curious, as the boy fought to put a Lego on top of whatever he was making. Once he managed, a smile lit his face, and Chan couldn’t help but to smile too.

“Innie!”

Jisung called. Chan raised an eyebrow as Jeongin walked in, a plastic cup in his hands.

“Hey, Sungie.”

Said the maknae, ruffling Jisung’s hair. The older boy proudly lifted up his… sculpture.

“Maked heawt.”

Chan tilted his head. Well. If you closed your eyes a little bit it did look like a heart. Kinda. Jeongin smiled.

“That’s so sweet, Sungie.” Jisung beamed. Chan bit on his lip, deciding he shouldn’t be watching this. He was curious, yes, but if Jisung hadn’t told him about this, Chan had no right to pry. He was about to leave, when Jeongin spoke again. “And who did you make this pretty heart for, Sungie?”

Chan couldn’t help but to stay and listen. And then his own heart skipped a beat.

“Channie ‘yung.”

Jisung said, excitedly. Chan turned around, eyes wide. Jeongin was biting on his lip, clearly trying not to laugh.

“You’re so mean, Sungie, what about me?”

Chan, too, had to keep himself from laughing as Jisung pouted and jumped up to hug Jeongin.

“But Sungie love Innie thiiiiiis much too.”

The boy said, spreading his arms. Jeongin laughed and tickled the boy’s exposed tummy, making Jisung laugh.

“Ok, I believe you. Now drink this, and wait here while I make your food.”

Said the maknae, once Jisung stopped laughing. He then helped Jisung drink from the cup, and once the boy was done he left the room.

Chan bit on his lip. His mind was swirling with thoughts, trying to make sense of what he had just witnessed. With a low groan, he forced himself to focus. He had two options. He could either enter the room at that moment, or go away and come back later. He had a feeling entering the room without warning might make Jisung distressed, though, so he chose to leave the dorms.

Once outside, he called Jeongin, telling him he was heading to the dorms and taking food with him. Then he headed to the closest convenience store.

When Chan arrived at the dorms again, Jisung and his things were nowhere to be seen.

“He’s sleeping.”

Jeongin said, as he noticed Chan looking around. Chan smiled.

“Oh, ok.”

He said. Jeongin frowned.

“You’re acting weird, hyung.”

Chan looked down sheepishly.

“Actually… I saw you two earlier.” He said. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. It seemed to defy Chan to say something bad. “Hey, relax. I’m not judging. Actually, I think it’s adorable.”

At that Jeongin smiled.

“Ah, I should have expected that.”

He said. Chan snorted.

“And why is that?”

He asked. Jeongin smirked.

“Because you take care of him like he’s your kid, already. Don’t think we don’t see it, hyung.”

Chan felt his cheeks heating up.

“Yah, shut up, brat.”

He said. Jeongin chuckled.

“As you wish, hyung. What did you see, though?

Chan shrugged.

“Not much. Just Sungie playing with those blocks, then you helping him.”

Jeongin smiled.

“So you heard what he said about what he made.”

Chan’s blush deepened.

“I said shut up.”

He whined. Jeongin laughed.

“Hyung, you two have the cutest relationship, did you know that? I hadn’t noticed, but Sungie always talks about you when he’s in headspace, so I started paying attention. It’s adorable.”

That made Chan smile a bit, despite his blushing cheeks. Jeongin didn’t think it was weird. That was something.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. He’s been distancing himself, though.”

He said, and Jeongin nodded.

“Yeah, that… there is a reason for that, hyung. But you’ll have to ask him about it.”

Chan pouted. Jeongin rolled his eyes.

“Ok. And when can I talk to him?”

Asked the leader.

Jeongin left to get Jisung after about half an hour of Chan arriving. When they re-entered the room, Jisung was looking down, cheeks pinkish. Chan got up, walking up to him.

“Sungie…”

He started. Jisung’s blush deepened.

“Innie said you saw.”

He said, voice small. Chan put a hand on his cheek and made the boy look up. Then he pressed a little kiss to Jisung’s nose.

“C’mon, let’s talk.”

He said, and pulled a profusely blushing Jisung away.

They settled on Chan’s room. Chan sat down on his bed and pulled Jisung to sit next to him.

“So, as Innie said I saw you earlier today.”

Jisung nodded.

“Sorry you had to witness that, hyung.”

He said. Chan frowned.

“Don’t apologize, you have nothing to apologize for.” He said. Jisung looked at him, seeming a bit surprised. “I’m not here to judge you or make fun of you, Sung. I just want to know what this is about.”

He said. Jisung sighed. The silence stretched for quite some time, but Chan knew better than to press Jisung at the moment. When the boy finally spoke up, his voice was shaking.

“Sometimes the world is just…”

He began, but didn’t finish. Chan squeezed his hand.

“Too much?”

He completed for the younger. Jisung nodded his head, letting out a heavy breath. He started talking again, this time seeming a bit more confident.

“I-I write. To get things out of my system. But sometimes it’s too much, and I don’t want to write, I just want to… I just want to forget that the world exists and everything that exists in it.”

Chan hummed. He was beginning to understand what Jisung meant.

“Like a kid. Who doesn’t really know how much cruelty there is out there. Who sees the world through colourful lens.”

Jisung nodded, then bit on his lip. Chan reached forward and pulled the boy’s lip from between his teeth carefully. Jisung’s cheeks reddened.

“Something like that.”

He said. Chan hummed.

“Well, tell me more about it.”

He prompted. Jisung sighed.

“It’s called ageplay. Basically, sometimes I just… feel like a kid and want to act like a kid. It helps me de-stress.”

He then proceeded to tell Chan about ageplay, and headspace, and many other things. His cheeks had a constant blush to them, but his voice was fond as he described what was a little and what was a caregiver. When he finished, he didn’t look at Chan.

“That…”

Chan started, not knowing how to express how much the whole idea interested him. Jisung frowned.

“I know it’s weird.”

Jisung mumbled. Chan raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

“If you knew what I wanted to talk to you about when I came home earlier you wouldn’t say that, Sungie.”

At that Jisung looked up, curious. His cheeks were still dusted pink.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

He asked. Chan felt his own cheeks heating up.

“Changbin and Hongseok have been trying to convince me to talk to you about this for a while, but I never had the courage.” Jisung was looking at him, curious. “You know how I help you wake up and eat and get dressed in the morning, and all of that, right?”

Jisung snorted.

“Yes.”

He answered. Chan rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Well. I know it’s probably weird, but I just… I really like taking care of you. I’m always scared you will get angry with me for babying you, but I love it when you let me do those things. I know I shouldn’t. You’re my friend, one of my best friends, and I shouldn’t like taking care of you as much as I do. But I can’t help it.”

The older risked a look up, only to find Jisung staring at him, cheeks red.

“You… is this… are you joking?”

Chan immediately shook his head.

“I’m not, I swear.”

He said. Jisung frowned.

“You’re not just saying this because… because you saw that?”

Chan shook his head again.

“For how long have I been taking care of you, Sungie?”

Jisung’s frown slowly turned into a shy smile. He looked down.

“Oh.”

He said. Chan chuckled.

“Yeah.”

They were silent for a while. Chan’s heart was hammering against his ribs, but he felt happy. And then Jisung spoke up.

“I love it when you take care of me.” It came out rushed, as if he was trying to get everything out before he lost the courage to say it. “I love Innie, and he’s really nice when he takes care of me, but I’ve always wanted… sorry, this is weird.”

Jisung’s cheeks were beet red. Chan chuckled.

“We’re both pretty weird, Sungie. C’mon, tell me.”

Jisung whined and hid his face.

“I’ve always wanted you to be my caregiver. My main caregiver, I mean.”

At that moment, Chan’s heart could have burst. He groaned and pulled Jisung into his lap, ignoring the boy’s little surprised squeal and squeezing him in the tightest hug he could muster.

“You are so adorable, Sungie.” Jisung couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped his mouth. As Chan eased his grip, Jisung wiggled around so that his legs were around Chan and let his head fall against the older’s chest. “I have a question, though. You’ve been distancing yourself from me. You don’t let me help you in the morning anymore and all of that. Why?”

Jisung groaned and hid his face against Chan’s chest.

“Sorry about that. It’s just…” Jisung’s cheeks reddened. “You… this is really embarrassing. If I’m stressed or just want to be little, your presence alone is enough to make me fall into headspace. When you take care of me it’s even worse, because it makes me feel really small, and I can’t… I don’t want the others to know, but it’s hard to hide it when you take care of me. So… yeah.”

Chan bit on his lip, trying not to smile.

“God, you have no idea how adorable you are, Sungie.” Jisung whined, blushing. “I’m sorry about that, though. What can I do to help?”

Jisung shrugged.

“I’ll let you know when it’s ok to take care of me. If I’m not stressed it’s easier to deal with you, hyung.”

Chan nodded and pressed a kiss to Jisung’s forehead.

“Ok.” They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s warmth. “And when can I see you in little space?”

Chan asked after a while. Jisung hit his chest lightly.

“Hyung!”

Chan chuckled.

“What? I mean it!”

Jisung glared, but he clearly wanted to smile.

“Well, you interrupted it earlier today, so…”

Chan smiled.

“Soon?”

Jisung chuckled.

“Soon, hyung.”

Chan couldn’t stop smiling.

Chapter Text

“Hyung, can you stay home today?”

Chan frowned, looking at Jeongin.

“I was planning to write a bit at the studio. There’s this song that’s almost ready that I need to work on.”

Jeongin hummed, then gestured towards the living room. Chan raised an eyebrow.

Jisung was sitting on the floor, playing with his fingers, still in his pyjamas, and he looked a bit dazed. Chan turned to Jeongin, eyes inquiring.

“It’s been a while. Since that day you came home earlier, hyung.”

Said the maknae. Chan’s eyes widened and he looked back at Jisung. He couldn’t help the smile that took his face.

“Oh. Maybe we can work something out.”

They couldn’t stay at the dorms. Chan had already explained the schedule to everyone, and if he suddenly changed his, Jisung and Jeongin’s schedules, someone would ask. But he did have his own studio at JYP, where the walls were soundproof and no one bothered him.

“But how will we take his things, hyung?”

Chan thought for a second, before replying.

“We can put it in out bags. Half in yours, half in mine.”

Jeongin shrugged.

“We’ll have to leave some things behind, but it’ll work.”

Chan smiled and Jeongin chuckled at the leader’s clear excitement.

“Ok. Go get ready. I’ll get Sungie ready and then we can go, alright?”

Jeongin smiled and nodded.

Chan headed to the living room, crouching down and caressing Jisung’s hair. The boy looked at him sleepily.

“Hey, Sungie.”

The older greeted. Jisung whined and leaned away, although he clearly didn’t want to.

“Hyung, no. I-I can’t…”

Chan gently shushed him.

“Actually, yes you can. Innie said you were feeling little. We decided to take you to the studio, since we can’t all stay home. You can be little there.”

Chan couldn’t help but to chuckle as Jisung’s eyes widened.

“F-for real, hyung?”

Chan nodded. Jisung’s face lit up in a smile and the older chuckled.

“C’mon, Sungie. Let’s get you ready.”

He said, pulling Jisung up and taking the boy to get changed before feeding him breakfast.

“He’s already in little space.”

Jeongin said as he entered the kitchen and found Chan feeding Jisung. Chan laughed.

“Yeah, I figured.”

He said. Jisung had been refusing to eat until Chan decided to try and pretend the spoon he was using to feed the boy was an airplane. That had done the trick, and Jisung was smiling sweetly at him as he ate his food.

“I guess you are a good caregiver, hyung.”

Said the maknae. Chan chuckled.

“I don’t think that’s quite it. Sungie said the other day that even just my presence is enough to make him feel small and little.”

Jeongin raised an eyebrow.

“Cute.”

Was all he said. Jisung whined, and Chan turned back, noticing the boy with his mouth open, waiting for more food.

“Oh, sorry, baby.”

He said, giving Jisung his food and watching with a smile on his lips the happy expression on the boy’s face.

Chan raised an eyebrow as Jeongin reached into his closet and pulled out a bunch of clothes. Then raised it even higher as the youngest shoved the clothes off and revealed, underneath the mess, a pink box decorated with childlike drawings.

“It’s Sungie’s box of little stuff.”

Explained the maknae, noticing the leader’s confusion. Chan nodded, kneeling down and opening the box. He frowned.

“Is this all?”

He asked. Jeongin nodded, sighing sadly.

“It’s hard to buy things.”

He said. Chan nodded.

The box’s contents were simple. The biggest thing in there was a box of Lego Duplo. Then there were a few cans of Play-Doh, three toy cars, and a stuffed fox. Chan took those out, analysing the things underneath. Three pacifiers and a few crayons lay on top of some clothes. Chan took those out and Jisung, who had been leaning against him and playing with his hoodie’s strings, whined. Chan turned to the boy.

“You ok, baby boy?” Jisung whined again and pointed with his nose towards the pacifiers. Chan smiled. “You want one? Which one?”

He asked. Jisung pouted and nuzzled Chan’s neck. Chan laughed and chose the one with a squirrel drawing on it, giving it to Jisung. The boy sucked happily, closing his eyes and hugging Chan, lying his head on the older’s shoulder.

“I think we might need to put pull ups on him before leaving, hyung.”

Said Jeongin. Chan raised an eyebrow, looking at the box and noticing that there were indeed a few pull ups in there. They were different from Hyunjin’s, a bit bigger and white with alphabet blocks drawn on it.

“I didn’t know he needed these.”

He said, picking one up and leaving it aside for later. Jeongin shrugged.

“Sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he does. He had different ages when he regresses. Sometimes he’s older and can communicate better, sometimes he has a bit more difficulty with speaking, and sometimes, like right now, apparently, he goes fully non-verbal. That’s when he needs the pull-ups.”

Chan nodded, glancing at the boy lying on him and smiling.

“He’s adorable.”

Jeongin laughed.

“He is.”

Chan looked at the maknae.

“How old is the oldest he’s ever been?”

He asked, Jeongin frowned.

“It’s a bit hard to tell, cause there’s no specific age, but I’d say five. Usually he’s around three.”

Chan’s smile grew. He had a feeling he would love being Jisung’s long-term caregiver.

They packed everything they thought they would need, then got Jisung ready. They couldn’t dress him too childishly, because they were going to walk to the company, so they chose sweatpants, which were big enough to hide his pull-ups, and a big baby pink hoodie that actually belonged to Hyunjin. Then Chan had put on Jisung’s shoes for him and a mask to cover the boy’s pacifier, and they had head out.

Jisung wasn’t too happy with the arrangement. He had made grabby hands at Chan, indicating that he wanted to be carried. And Chan had carried Jisung on the streets before, but not in plain daylight like this. It was too risky. So he had resigned himself to holding Jisung’s hands, no matter how much he liked carrying the boy.

“Jisungie.” He called, noticing the little’s sour mood. Jisung frowned harder, making Chan want to laugh. “Do you want to see a magic trick?”

That made Jisung look up, interested. Chan smiled and reached into his pocket to retrieve a coin. The three of them stopped walking.

It was an easy trick. He had learned it as a kid, and he could still remember how to perform it. He showed Jisung the coin, making the boy hold Jeongin’s hand so he could actually do the trick. Jisung was so focused on the coin he didn’t even notice the change.

“Now, Sungie, Channie hyung will make this coin… disappear.”

Jisung gasped, eyes going wide, and Chan was pretty sure the only thing keeping the boy’s pacifier from falling from his mouth was his mask.

He showed Jisung the coin, waving it slowly to grab the boy’s attention. Then he placed it on his fingers and passed it to his other hand. Or pretended to. Jisung watched attentively his closed hand, where he believed the coin was. Chan put his hand near Jeongin’s face.

“Innie, blow for me, please.”

Jeongin snorted, but did as he was told. Chan pulled his hand back and looked at Jisung. The boy was still focused on his hand. And then Chan wiggled his fingers and slowly opened his hand, showing… nothing.

Jisung’s squeal startled both, Jeongin and Chan, making both boys laugh. The little’s eyes were open wide and he let go of Jeongin and grabbed Chan’s hand, opening it to see inside. When he found nothing, he looked at Chan with wide shining eyes, and Chan couldn’t resist the urge to pinch the boy’s cheeks.

“Did you like it?” He asked. Jisung nodded eagerly. Chan laughed and ruffled the boy’s hair. Then he pulled Jisung’s hood over his head and held his hand. “Good. Now let’s keep walking. The faster we get there the faster we can play!”

Jisung no longer looked that sleepy. Jeongin glared at Chan as they had to almost run to the company.

They settled on Chan’s studio and as Jeongin took Jisung’s things out of their bags, Chan let Jisung pull him around.

The studio wasn’t big or that interesting. It had a computer and some mixing equipment, then a small sofa and a little freezer where Chan left his water bottles and a few snacks. To Jisung, however, everything seemed to be interesting. He dragged Chan around, pointing at things and looking at the older, waiting for an explanation. They took about fifteen minutes, until the little was finally satisfied.

“Are you two done? Jisungie needs to drink his juice. We walked a lot, and you need to stay hydrated, Sungie.”

Jisung pouted and looked at Chan. The older shook his head.

“Innie is right, baby boy. You need to drink your juice.”

Jisung pouted, but pulled Chan over to where Jeongin was sitting on the couch, only letting go when he was safely on the maknae’s lap.

Jeongin laughed and pulled down Jisung’s mask.

“Sungie, can you give me your paci?”

Jisung raised his head, allowing the younger to take the pacifier, then opened his mouth. Chan chuckled.

“You’re adorable, baby boy.”

Jisung blushed, letting Jeongin lead the sippy cup to his mouth.

“I think we’ll need to buy a bottle for when he’s younger.”

Said the maknae. Chan nodded.

Jisung drank half of the juice before whining. Jeongin shrugged, satisfied, and let the boy go. Jisung immediately clung to Chan, pulling the boy to sit next to him on the floor. Then he wiggled around, pointing with his nose. Chan followed the gesture and laughed as he spotted Jisung’s plush fox on the floor. He reached forward and grabbed it, giving it to Jisung. The little took the fox and hugged it, before shoving it on Chan face. Chan leaned back a bit, looking at the toy. Jeongin laughed.

“Hyung, that’s Flower, Sungie’s bestest friend.”

Said the maknae, probably quoting something Jisung had said before. Chan laughed and grabbed the fox’s paw, shaking it.

“Nice to meet you, Flower. Hope you treat Sungie well, because he’s the most precious baby boy ever.”

He said. Jisung squealed and pulled the fox back, hiding his face in it. Chan laughed, finding Jisung’s red ears and shyness adorable. Jeongin was, too, smiling fondly at the image.

“You made the baby shy, hyung.”

He said, laughing as Jisung whined.

Chan laughed and put his arms around Jisung and pulled the little to his lap, peppering kisses on his head and cheeks once the boy let his face be seen, making Jisung giggle.

“Precious.” He said. Jisung settled on his lap, back against Chan’s chest. “What do you and Flower want to play, baby boy?”

Jisung looked around, then pouted and grabbed Chan’s hand, playing with his fingers. Chan looked at Jeongin. The maknae sighed.

“We need to buy other toys, too. He has nothing for when he’s this little.”

Chan nodded.

“Do me a favour, grab my phone, please.”

Jeongin obeyed and picked the older’s phone, handing it over. Chan took a while to type out his message with only one hand, but soon he managed and not even a minute later he got a reply. He smiled.

“What did you do, hyung?”

Asked Jeongin.

“Asked Bambam for a favour. He’ll be here soon, can you take Sungie for a second?”

Jeongin raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Jisung let himself be moved, although he pouted as Chan got up. When the leader walked to the door, the little whined. Chan looked back, and it was a mistake. Jisung was looking at him with eyes wide, hands extended towards Chan and a pout visible behind his pacifier. Chan walked back to the little.

“Sungie, hyung will be right back, ok? I’ll bring you a present.”

And saying that he pressed a kiss to Jisung’s head and left the room before the little’s huge eyes convinced him to stay.

“Should I ask?”

Bambam said, as he handed Chan the three plush toys. Chan laughed.

“Probably not.”

Bambam chuckled.

“You can keep them if you want. Yugyeom has hundreds of stuffed toys, he said he won’t miss these three.”

Chan smiled. Bambam was a good friend.

“You’re the best, Bam. Tell Gyeom I said hi.”

He said. Bambam nodded and hugged the other boy before heading to his own practice room. Chan watched him go for a second, then headed back to the studio.

Jisung wasn’t crying, which was a plus. Jeongin was singing Itsy Bitsy Spider to him, and the little seemed very focused on the task of making the right hand moves to copy the maknae. When Chan entered, he looked up and smiled. He made grabby hands at the older, and as Chan sat down the little threw himself at him. Chan laughed and made sure the little was comfortable before showing him what he had gotten.

“Sungie, I brought some friends over.”

He said. Jisung tilted his head to look at him. Chan grabbed one of the toys from behind his back and showed Jisung. It was a stuffed elephant, and it was as big as Jisung’s head. The little gasped, pacifier falling from his mouth. Jeongin picked it up.

Jisung looked at Chan expectantly, and the boy noticed, surprised, that the younger wouldn’t take the toy until Chan gave it to him. He smiled and handed over the elephant. Jisung smiled and hugged it.

Chan repeated the process with the other two plushies, a plush kitten and a plush lion. Soon, Jisung was holding the four toys in his arms, giggling at them happily. Chan smiled.

“Where did you get these, hyung?”

Asked the maknae. Chan shrugged.

“Asked Bambam. I didn’t tell him what I needed them for.”

Jeongin laughed.

“Bambam hyung is nice.”

Chan nodded.

“He really is.”

Jisung played with his plushies happily on his own for a while. He refused to get out of Chan’s lap, but the older didn’t really mind. He had taken out his phone and was working on it, writing lyrics, checking their schedule, working things out. Jeongin, on the couch, was writing on his notebook, seeming relaxed, and Chan couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread on his chest.

He had just sent an email when Jisung whined on his lap. Him and Jeongin immediately looked at the boy. Jisung was looking at Jeongin.

“What is it, Sungie? Want me to sit with you?”

Jisung nodded and pat the floor in front of him. Jeongin raised an eyebrow and obeyed. Once he was settled, Jisung looked at Chan to make sure he was looking and grabbed the plush kitten, making it jump around. Then he put the kitten down and grabbed the elephant, repeating the process and setting it opposite of the kitten. Chan watched, amused.

Once all of the toys had been moved around, Chan noticed they were in a kind of circle, although it was a bit of a crooked circle. Then Jisung started humming a song – it sounded suspiciously like Itsy Bitsy spider – and moving the plushies around, and…

“Is… is he making them dance?”

Jisung glared and Jeongin zipped his mouth shut. Jisung proceeded with the toys’ dance, and Chan was in awe. Once Jisung was finished he looked up, big eyes searching for approval and praise. Jeongin and Chan started clapping, and Jisung’s proud smile was the most precious thing ever.

“Wa, that was so nice, Sungie!”

Said Jeongin. Jisung beamed at him.

“Did you make this dance on your own?”

Asked Chan. Jisung nodded proudly, and Chan pulled him closer hugging him.

Jisung smiled and closed his eyes, and Chan pushed his bangs back, caressing his hair.

“He’s sleepy.”

Said Jeongin. Chan nodded, smiling. Soon Jisung was sleeping soundly against Chan. The leader called Jeongin and the maknae helped him move the little to the couch. The older then covered Jisung with his own coat, then put the boy’s plush toys with him, putting the plush fox under the boy’s chin. Jisung immediately grabbed it, holding it tightly.

“You can go practice a bit, Innie. I’ll work on what I was supposed to work and when he wakes up I call you.”

Jeongin smiled.

“You’re a good caregiver, hyung.”

Said the maknae, gathering his things. Chan chuckled.

“I still have a lot to learn.”

He said. Jeongin nodded.

“You do, both of us do. But trust me, you’re much better than I was when I first found out.”

Chan smiled.

“You’re good with him too.”

Jeongin nodded.

“I’ll be back later.”

Chan was finishing the track when he heard a whine. He immediately looked back to see Jisung rubbing his eyes, plush fox still gripped in his hand. He got up, kneeling next to the boy.

“Hey there, baby boy.”

He said. Jisung blinked a few times, then gave Chan a sleepy smile.

“Mo’nin’, appa.”

Chan could tell his eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging slightly open. He quickly shut it once Jisung tilted his head. His heart was racing, and he felt like squishing Jisung into the tightest hug ever, but the boy was still waking up, so he didn’t.

“Did you sleep well?”

He asked, instead.

Jisung nodded and sat up, then frowned. His lower lip jutted out.

“Sowy…”

He said. Chan frowned.

“What are you sorry for, baby boy?”

Jisung blushed and squirmed, pushing Chan’s coat, which had been covering him, to his lap.

“Sowy, ‘yung.”

He said again. Chan raised an eyebrow, noting the action and the way Jisung had called him.

“Baby, do you need a change?”

Jisung’s pout deepened.

“Sun’ie din’ mean to.”

He said, eyes watering. Chan cooed at him, sitting next to him and pulling the boy into a hug.

“Hey, baby, it’s ok. It’s what you’re wearing pull-ups for.”

Jisung sniffed and looked up.

“Sun’ie bi’ boy.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“You are a big boy, baby. Having an accident doesn’t mean anything. Even big boys have accidents. Ok?”

Jisung sniffed, but dried his tears.

“Otay.”

He said. Chan smiled and kissed his cheek, then got up.

“Stay here, let me get your things.”

He headed to his bag, grabbing the wet wipes and extra pull-up they had brought, but also Jisung’s normal underwear, because the boy seemed older now. He headed back to the couch.

“Ok, Sungie, can you get up for hyung?” Jisung stood up. Chan pulled down the boy’s pants, then his wet pull-ups, and then he quickly cleaned Jisung. “Do you need a pull-up, baby?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“Bi’ boy cwothes.”

He said. Chan chuckled and redressed the boy. Once he was done, he got his phone, sending Jeongin a message.

“Ok, baby, now what do you want to play?”

When Jeongin entered the studio he was greeted with Chan and Jisung drawing together on the floor. He closed the door, laughing to himself.

“Hey, there.”

He said. Chan looked at him and smiled. Jisung’s face lit up and he made grabby hands at Jeongin.

“Innie ‘yung!”

He said. Jeongin smiled and walked over, kissing Jisung’s temple. The boy hugged him and quickly moved to sit between Jeongin’s legs, bringing his drawing to rest on his knee so he could draw on the maknae’s lap.

“I see someone’s feeling older.”

Said the maknae. Chan nodded.

“He woke up feeling older. Had to change him. He was embarrassed about having an accident.”

Jeongin nodded.

“Ah, yeah. That happens sometimes. Did he cry?”

Chan nodded.

“A little bit. But he’s fine now.”

Jeongin nodded.

“Is he wearing pull-ups?”

Chan shook his head.

“Said he didn’t need them. Does he?”

Jeongin shrugged.

“Not really. He had accidents sometimes, but it’s very rare.”

Chan nodded. Jisung poked Jeongin. The younger looked down and Jisung looked away, giggling. Jeongin snorted.

“Oh, who could have poked me? Did you see, Chan hyung?”

Jisung was giggling like crazy. Chan laughed and shook his head.

“No idea, Innie.”

He said, winking exaggeratedly at Jisung.

“Well, I’ll pay attention now.”

Said the maknae. He then looked around, frowning in concentration. Jisung waited until he the boy was looking away and poked Jeongin again. Jeongin looked back, eyes wide, and Jisung was apparently having the time of his life.

“Who did that? Who was it?”

Chan couldn’t help but to laugh. He raised his shoulders.

“Don’t know.”

He said. Jeongin huffed.

“Sungie, did you see who it was?” Jisung giggled and shook his head innocently. “Hum, this time I’ll pay even more attention.”

Jisung giggled. Jeongin looked away and Jisung poked him again, and Jeongin turned quickly, grabbing Jisung’s hand. Jisung squealed.

“Aha!” Said Jeongin. “Got you.”

He tickled Jisung, and the boy squealed, then wiggled around and got up, running to Chan, laughing.

“Come here, baby, I’ll keep you safe from the tickle monster.”

He said. Jisung was bouncing with energy.

“Pwote’t ‘yung, pwote’t.”

Chan was exhausted. Jisung had a lot of energy, and he was extremely clingy, which meant that even when they were playing he refused to ever be farther than his arm’s reach from either Chan on Jeongin. Chan didn’t mind. He loved Jisung and he loved the boy’s clinginess and cuteness, and he would do anything for that boy. But god, he was tired.

At the moment he and Jeongin were walking back to the dorms, Chan carrying an asleep Jisung and Jeongin carrying their bags.

“I’m exhausted.”

Mumbled the maknae, halfway through. Chan laughed.

“Tell me about it.”

Jeongin smiled.

“But it’s worth it, hyung.”

Chan turned his head to look at Jisung, who was sleeping peacefully.

“It is. It really is.”

They had left two of Jisung’s plushies and one of his pacifiers at the leader’s studio. In his head, Chan was calculating how to get Jisung more things.

“Think he’ll ever let the others know?”

Asked the maknae. Chan sighed.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Once he gets more comfortable.”

Jeongin nodded.

“I hope he does. Imagine little Sungie running around the dorm with everyone around, hyung.”

Chan laughed.

“It would be adorable.” He said. Jeongin was smiling. “I’m glad you helped him through this, Innie.”

He said. Jeongin blushed. He had told Chan about the way he had found out about Jisung, and Chan was now talking about it.

“It was nothing. I liked taking care of my little brother and my little cousins. It wasn’t that much different.”

Chan smiled.

“Yeah, but you promptly accepted something you knew nothing about and helped him. That is more than many people would have done.”

Jeongin was looking down and smiling a bit embarrassed and a bit proud.

“Thank you, hyung.”

Chan bumped into him softly.

“You’re welcome, maknae.”

Chapter Text

Chan closed the door softly behind him, trying not to wake Jisung up or any of the others in the dorm. He looked at his phone. One thirty five in the morning. He sighed.

He hadn’t intended to come back so late. When Jisung showed up in his studio at eleven in the night, awfully fidgety and shy, a pout on his lips, Chan had planned on going home immediately. But then the boy had walked over to him and hugged him, letting himself slump against Chan, and then had whined asking for his pacifier before promptly falling asleep as soon as Chan gave him the pacifier and one of the stuffed toys he kept in his studio. And Chan couldn’t exactly carry the boy home like that, it was still early enough for people to be walking on the streets, and waking Jisung up wasn’t an option. So he opted to wait for a bit.

He also knew he would have to ask Jisung what had happened. Jisung never asked them to take care of him. All of the times he got into little space was because either Chan or Jeongin noticed him feeling little and suggested it, and even then Jisung was a bit embarrassed. So having the boy show up like that, seeming upset and tired, must have a cause. Chan focused on his computer. He would talk to Jisung about it. Later. Now he had to work for a bit.

A bit turned out to be longer than Chan had planned, and what had forced him to notice the time was Jisung squirming and whining in his sleep. Luckily, Chan had understood the situation fast enough, and they had gotten to the bathroom before the younger had an accident. He had then looked through his bag, glad Jeongin had convinced him of keeping at least one pull up there in case of an emergency. He helped Jisung put the pull up on, then his clothes. Once that was done with Chan had glanced at his phone, groaning as he saw the time. He eyed Jisung. The boy’s eyes were already closing again.

“Sungie, we need to go back. Can you give hyung your stuffie so we can put it to bed?”

He asked, voice soft. Jisung blinked sleepily at him.

“Appa, cawy?”

He asked, lifting his hands. Chan’s heart skipped a beat, like it always did when Jisung called him like that. It didn’t happen often. Only when Jisung was extra sleepy or sad in little space – and that one time when he wasn’t in little space – but Chan loved hearing it. He smiled and picked the boy up.

“Sure, baby. C’mon, lets get your things.”

And so they had headed back, Chan careful not to walk through places where they could be seen and Jisung sleeping peacefully on his arms.

With a bit of difficulty, Chan managed to take off his and Jisung’s shoes. Then he entered the dorm and almost died from a heart attack right then and there.

You see, Chan knew a lot of people. He had trained at JYP for years and most of his friends from trainee time had debuted before him, at JYP and also various other companies. So he knew people. And through these people he had met other people, amongst them his amazing boyfriend, Yang Hongseok. They had been dating for a few months, already. Hongseok was loving, sweet and caring, and Chan really loved the boy. The only problem in their relationship was that with Chan as the leader of Stray Kids and Hongseok being part of Pentagon they had very little time to meet. Which meant that little trips to each other's dorm at night weren't uncommon (especially Hongseok visiting the Stray Kids dorm). But that in no way prepared Chan to come face to face with his boyfriend asleep on his couch as he entered his dorm in the middle of the night.

Chan stared for a second, then did his best to silently head to the kitchen. Once there, he put Jisung down on a chair, letting himself sit next to the boy and smiling when Jisung blinked his eyes open for a second, just to stand up and sit on Chan's lap his legs on each side of the older and his arms around Chan’s neck, before going back to sleep. The leader laughed. He knew he should get the boy to bed, and then deal with the boyfriend situation, but he decided he deserved a bit of a rest after carrying Jisung from the company to the dorms.

When Jisung began squirming again, Chan looked inside his bag and pulled out Jisung’s stuffed toy, which the younger had insisted couldn’t stay at the company. He nudged Jisung with it, smiling when the boy let out a soft whine, picking the toy up and holding it tightly. With a sigh, he stood up.

He silently left the kitchen and headed towards the corridor that would lead him to his bedroom, knowing he had the challenge of navigating the dark hallway with Jisung in his arms without making noise. And then, before he could do anything, someone cleared his throat. Chan closed his eyes, as if that would make everything disappear. He opened them again a few seconds later. And came face to face with a wide-eyed Hongseok.

For a moment, they only stared at each other. Then Chan’s eyes drifted to what Hongseok was holding.

“Is that a Hot Wheels pack?”

He asked, brain too tired to care about tact. Hongseok raised an eyebrow.

“Is Jisung wearing pull-ups?”

Chan noticed, then, that He was still holding Jisung, and that Hongseok was dangerously close of finding out Jisung’s secret.

“Uhn…”

He said, pulling Jisung’s shirt down over the pull-ups peaking out from his pants. Hongseok shook his head and gestured towards the corridor.

“Put him to bed. Then we can talk about this, ok?”

Chan sighed, but nodded. Hongseok smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his lips, careful not to jostle Jisung, then continued his way to the living room.

Chan made sure Jisung was comfortable in his bed, thanking the heavens that Changbin had chosen to sleep elsewhere – probably Felix’s bed. He covered the boy, shushing Jisung as the boy whined at the loss of Chan’s warmth. He kissed Jisung’s forehead.

“Hyung will be right back, baby boy.”

He said, and left the room.

Hongseok was sitting in the living room couch, the pack he had been holding earlier now wrapped in colourful wrapping paper. Chan sat down next to him.

“Hey.”

He said. Hongseok smiled at him and pecked him in the lips again.

“Hey. I missed you.” Chan smiled. He had missed the older too. “So, want to go first or should I?”

He asked. Chan shrugged.

“You can go first.”

Hongseok nodded.

“Well. I got this for a friend of mine. He’s boyfriend is a little, and children’s day is coming up. My friend wanted to surprise his boyfriend.” Chan knew he was staring dumbly at his boyfriend, but he couldn’t help it. Hongseok chuckled. “I would explain to you what a little is, but I have a feeling you know perfectly well what it means.”

Chan continued to stare. Then he shook his head.

“You know?”

Hongseok smiled softly.

“About Sungie? Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t sure, because I never saw anything and he never told me. But the way you describe it and from the times we've hung out together... Jisung has a very little-like behaviour.”

Chan was having a hard time processing that. He knew his boyfriend was perceptive, but not this perceptive. He remembered a conversation he had had with the boy, when he was still unsure of his relationship with Jisung. Hongseok had told him the same thing Changbin always said.

“Is this why you said Jisung didn’t hate being taken care of?”

He asked. Hongseok nodded.

“That’s also what I meant when you pointed out Jisung being extra childish and I told you he’s always been like this.”

Chan shook his head incredulously and chuckled.

“Nothing gets past you, hum?”

Hongseok smiled smugly.

“Not much, no.”

Chan laughed and kissed Hongseok. Once they parted he held the older’s hand. They were already awake, might as well enjoy their time alone together. It wasn't often that they could meet.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about it, then?”

He asked. Hongseok shook his head.

“It wasn't something I had to tell you. Jisung should be the one to tell you.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“Well. He’ll have to know that you know, now.”

Hongseok shrugged.

“I guess.”

Chan bit on his lip.

“He won’t like it.”

He said. Hongseok smiled.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

Chan nodded.

“And what about this friend of yours?”

He asked, gesturing towards the present on the couch. Hongseok chuckled.

“He's from my group, actually.”

Chan’s eyes widened.

“For real?”

Hongseok laughed and nodded.

“Yup.”

Chan stared. He wanted to ask who it was, but he had a feeling Hongseok wouldn’t tell.

“So this means you actually know another little. Can you tell Sungie that?”

Hongseok nodded.

“Sure. And maybe they can even meet some day. My friend is... very shy about it, so it might take a while. But maybe one day." Chan felt excitement bubbling up on his chest. "Now…”

They were interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and both boys turned towards the noise. Chan’s heart broke as he looked up. Jisung was standing by the living room entrance, hand gripping his stuffed toy tightly and tears on his cheeks.

“A-appa…”

He mumbled. Chan rushed to him, pulling the boy into a hug.

“Hey, baby. Are you ok? What happened?”

Jisung sniffed, clinging to Chan.

“W-waked up an’ appa n-not thewe.”

He said around his pacifier. Chan cooed and hugged the boy tighter.

“Well, appa is here now. You don’t need to cry anymore.”

Jisung sniffed and rubbed his face against Chan’s chest. Chan carefully pulled back, holding the boy's hand and leading him to the couch. Jisung didn’t hesitate before sitting on Chan’s lap, like he had earlier.

Chan glanced at Hongseok. The older was smiling.

‘Adorable,’ the older mouthed.

Chan couldn’t help but to smile. Jisung really was adorable.

‘I know,’ he mouthed back.

The beginning of their relationship had been somewhat difficult, considering Jisung, because Chan and Jisung's relationship was unusual. On Hongseok's part, he had always been more than ready to treat Jisung just like Chan did. But Jisung had taken considerably longer to warm up to the boy. Nonetheless, after a while they had learned to work together, and now Jisung was almost as close to Hongseok as he was to Chan.

Once Jisung calmed down, Chan got up. He gestured towards his bedroom and Hongseok smiled. The three of them headed to the room, and soon the three of them were trying to find a way to fit into the bed. Jisung nuzzled against Chan's neck like a kitten, before stilling and sighing contentedly. Hongseok was on Chan's other side, hugging him from behind. Chan smiled and kissed the Jisung's forehead and snuggled against Hongseok. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Chan woke up to Jisung trying to climb out of bed. Hongseok wasn't there anymore. Chan blinked, opening his eyes, and raised an eyebrow as he noticed Jisung trying to climb over him without making noise or hitting Chan.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

He asked. It wasn’t the smartest choice. Jisung squealed, startled, and lost balance, falling on top of Chan and forcing all of the air out of the older’s lungs.

“Shit, sorry, hyung.”

Said the younger, quickly getting up now that he wasn’t worried about being subtle. Chan waited a few seconds, regaining his breath, before wheezing out a ‘don’t worry about it’. After a few more seconds, he groaned.

“I see you’re not feeling little anymore.”

He said, sitting up and ignoring his still short breath. Jisung’s cheeks reddened immediately.

“I, uhn, this… I’m sorry, hyung. About yesterday. I shouldn’t…”

Chan sighed and took the boy’s hands.

“Jisungie. C’mon, you know I like taking care of you. Why are you apologizing?”

Jisung bit on his lip.

“It’s… when you guys offer it, it’s because you have time. I don’t have the right to… I don’t want to waste your time.”

Chan frowned. He thought back to the fact that Jisung never asked to be little, and his frown deepened.

“Sungie. Innie and I are your caregivers. We agreed to this, we want to take care of you. It’s not a waste of our time.” He held Jisung’s face carefully. The boy had blushed at the word ‘caregiver’, and was still a bit red. “I told you I love taking care of you. You can come to me whenever you feel little. You should come to me whenever you feel little.”

He said. Jisung pouted, the type of pout that meant he was trying to avoid crying. Chan moved to hold his hands again.

“I-I just feel like I take too much of your time. You already work so much, and then you have to take care of me, and…”

Chan shook his head.

“Jisungie, it’s not like that. Look, being little helps you relax, right? Well, taking care of you helps me relax. So don’t think you’re forcing me into anything or wasting my time. You’re not. Never.” Jisung sighed, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears before they fell, and the act was so childish it made Chan want to squish Jisung. He didn’t. He knew Jisung would be embarrassed, and that was the last thing they needed at the moment. “Sungie, can you promise me you’ll tell me when you’re feeling little? Even if it’s just a bit?”

Jisung didn’t answer for a while, then he sighed and nodded.

“Ok, hyung.”

He said. Chan smiled and squeezed his hand.

“Good. Now, can you tell me what made you slip yesterday?”

Jisung’s ears reddened.

“It was stupid.”

He mumbled. Chan huffed.

“Nope, none of that. C’mon, tell hyung.”

Jisung pouted.

“Hyunjinnie laughed at me.”

He said. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“Jinnie? When?”

Jisung shrugged.

“He was teaching us the dance and I got a step wrong and he laughed.”

Said the younger. Chan bit on his lip, trying not to smile. Jisung must have been feeling little before that - probably from not wanting to tell Chan and Jeongin that he wanted to be little for a while -, because normally he was always the first one to laugh at himself for getting something wrong.

“Sungie, you know he didn’t mean to upset you, right?” Jisung nodded, although he was still pouting. “And what did you do when he laughed?”

Jisung’s blush deepened.

“Stuck my tongue out at him and left.”

Chan supressed his laughter.

“Sungie, have I ever told you you’re really cute?”

He asked. Jisung squirmed.

“Hyung!”

He said, and Chan knew he was right about Jisung still feeling little.

“Ok, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll take you to the studio with me today, and you can be as little as you want. Does that sound good?” He asked. Jisung grimaced, but nodded. “Good. Now there’s something we need to talk about, before that.”

When Hongseok entered the room, Jisung hid himself behind the bed sheets. Hongseok laughed silently and looked at Chan, who was smiling.

“Jisung, can you come out of there so we can talk?” He asked. Jisung shook his head shaking the sheets along with it. Hongseok chuckled. “Please, Sungie? Can you come out for hyung?”

This did the trick and Jisung slowly let the sheets fall. Hongseok smiled. Jisung grimaced.

“I’m not a baby, hyung.”

He said. Hongseok raised an eyebrow.

“Didn’t say you were.” Jisung blushed and he crossed his arms. Hongseok laughed. “So, Chan told you I know.”

Jisung sighed and nodded.

“He said you saw yesterday.”

He mumbled. Hongseok nodded.

“I did, but I already knew about it.”

Jisung frowned, tilting his head.

“You did?”

He asked, cheeks reddening. Hongseok nodded.

“You see, I have this friend in my group. And he is a little. I wasn’t supposed to find out about it, but one day I walked in on him when was in little space, and he explained a few things to me. Your behaviour, even when you’re not in headspace, is a lot like what my friend described. Plus, you let Channie take care of you way too much. So I had my suspicions.”

Jisung’s face was crimson, and Chan knew what he was thinking. If someone who wasn't even with him that much had noticed his behavior, what were the chances the people in his own group hadn't? Chan moved closer to the boy, offering comfort, if Jisung was willing to take it. The younger was gripping the hem of his shirt, playing with it.

“A-am I really that obvious?”

He asked, confirming Chan's suspicions. Hongseok smiled.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. It’s not that obvious to people who don’t know. I mean, they notice, but they get used to it and just assume you’re a bit childish at times.”

Jisung pouted.

“I’m sorry.”

He said. Chan hated seeing the sad face on Jisung’s face. He made eye contact with Hongseok. The older nodded.

“Sungie, you don’t need to apologize. It’s not a bad thing.”

Jisung sighed.

“But it is, hyung. The other boys... it probably annoyed them to have a little kid trailing after them all the time, and then when you come over to see Chan...”

He said. Hongseok shook his head and sat next to Jisung on the bed.

“It’s not like that, Sung. You’re obviously not always childish. You know how to act your age, and you’re as mature as Lix, Jinnie and anyone else your age. What I mean is that at times you do little things that wouldn’t be expected of an eighteen year old. Like pulling on clothes to get attention. Or really enjoying children’s TV shows, Channie told me you like Pororo a lot. And it’s not something bad. It’s part of you.”

Jisung looked at the older, searching his eyes. Chan could tell he was trying to see how much Hongseok meant what he was saying. After a few moments he sighed.

“I guess…”

He said. Hongseok took his hand.

“I mean it, Sungie. C’mon, would you poke JYP or pull on his clothes to get his attention?”

Jisung blushed.

“What? No! Of course not, hyung!”

Hongseok laughed and so did Chan.

“See? You know exactly when and with whom you can be childish.”

Jisung opened his mouth to reply, than closed it again. Hongseok smiled as if saying ‘I told you so.’ Jisung pouted.

“I guess you’re right, hyung.”

Hongseok chuckled.

“I always am. Now I’ll leave so you can be comfortable. You seem like you need it. And when you feel ready, I’d love to meet little Sungie.”

He said, and ruffled Jisung’s hair before kissing Chan and leaving.

Jisung, face still a bit red, looked at Chan.

“Hyungie… I’m feeling little.”

He said. Chan smiled.

“C’mon, let’s go to the company, then you can be as little as you want.”

Chapter Text

Jisung bit on his lip nervously. He was sitting on Chan’s bed, kicking his feet as he waited for the older to pick up his things. Ever since the conversation with Woojin, three weeks earlier, he had been little five times. Two with Jeongin and Chan, two with only Chan, and one only with Jeongin. He hadn’t asked them for those. For all that he told Chan he would go to someone if he was feeling little, he still couldn’t. He was embarrassed about it, and every time he came out of headspace he had to fight his embarrassment to even look at Chan and Jeongin. He didn’t tell them that. They were doing him a favour, he couldn’t be an ungrateful brat.

So he hadn’t told them he was feeling little even once. But he had been thinking over the idea of letting Woojin see him in little space, and had even talked to Chan about it, but the opportunity for that hadn’t presented itself, and Jisung was a bit glad about that.

But now the perfect moment had come. Chuseok had arrived, and most of the boys had gone back home. Except for Woojin, Chan and Jisung. It would have been fine, obviously, if Jisung hadn’t been feeling little. But Chuseok reminded him of his parents, and not being able to go home made him a bit upset, and the result was… well, him feeling little. And Chan had, obviously, noticed, because when he went entered the kitchen to have breakfast Jisung was staring at his food, his pacifier by his side as he sucked and bit on his lower lip.

Chan got up from where he had been crouched, smiling as he held up the clothes he had chosen for Jisung. In his hands he had Jisung’s jeans overalls, which Jeongin had gotten for him after he noticed Jisung looking at someone’s stage outfit – overalls and a t-shirt – during a music show.

Now, usually, just the sight of the piece of clothing would have Jisung squealing and slipping into little space. But he was too nervous at the moment. Chan, obviously, noticed and put the overalls down, frowning.

“Sungie?” He called. Jisung pulled his legs up and hugged them, hiding his face. He heard Chan sit next to him. “Hey, what happened?”

Asked the older. Jisung shook his head.

“Nothing, hyung. Just… you know.”

Chan put a hand on his back, rubbing it softly.

“You’re nervous.” The older stated. Jisung nodded. Chan’s hand left his back and touched his head, gently asking Jisung to look up. The boy obeyed. Chan smiled at him. “Hey, I know I suggested this, but we don’t need to do it if you don’t want to.”

Jisung quickly shook his head.

“I’m just nervous.”

He quickly said. Chan nodded.

“What can I do to help?”

He asked. Jisung blushed.

“Just… treat me like you always do, hyung.” He said. “And…”

He started, stopping as his cheeks reddened even more.

“And…?”

Prompted Chan.

“C-can I wear one of your shirts?”

Asked the younger, not looking at Chan. He saw, from the corner of his eye, Chan tilt his head like a puppy.

“My shirt?”

Jisung’s lip was already hurting from him chewing on it. Chan absentmindedly took it from between his teeth waiting for Jisung to explain. Jisung pouted.

“It smells like you.”

Was all he said, too embarrassed to explain that Chan’s clothes and his smell made him feel extra safe. Chan looked at him for a second, then chuckled.

“You. Are. Adorable.”

He said, pecking Jisung’s face three times. Jisung couldn’t help but to giggle, already feeling his little side bubbling up.

“Hyung, stop!”

He whined. Chan laughed and got up.

“C’mon, let’s get you dressed.”

Once Jisung was dressed and had his space pacifier between his lips and Flower in his hands, Chan opened the door and held his hand out for the little. Jisung whined and lifted his arms. Chan chuckled and picked the boy up, kissing his cheek before heading out of the room.

Woojin was on the living room, watching TV as he waited for the other two. When he heard the sound of steps he turned back, smiling as he saw Chan carrying Jisung towards the couch. Jisung, with his overalls and rabbit socks, looked adorable. When the pair arrived, Chan tried to put Jisung down, only to get a whine in reply and Jisung clinging to him. This made Chan and Woojin laugh.

“Sungie, can hyung put you down?” Chan asked. Jisung shook his head. Chan hummed. “Well, then I guess you don’t want your presents.”

Woojin shook his head at the way Jisung’s head shot up at that. The little immediately scanned the room, looking for the presents. He spotted them on Woojin’s legs. His eyes rose up to Woojin’s face. And he squealed and hid back against Chan’s neck. Woojin raised an eyebrow. Chan rolled his eyes fondly. Woojin decided to step in.

“Sungie, what if Channie hyung holds you on his lap while I give you your presents? Would that be ok?”

Jisung hesitantly looked up from his hiding spot, this time making eye contact with Woojin for a few seconds before blushing and looking away. Then he nodded. Woojin smiled victoriously.

Chan put Jisung down and the boy whined, before Chan sat on the couch and Jisung climbed up to sit on his lap. Chan chuckled, hugging the boy from behind and tickling his tummy, making Jisung squeal and laugh.

“Ok, baby boy, want your presents now?”

Jisung nodded, smiling. He looked at Woojin shyly.

“Pwesent?”

He asked, eyes shining. It took all Woojin had not to squish his cheeks.

“Yup. Hyung got you presents, to thank you for letting hyung take care of you.”

Jisung’s mouth formed a perfect little ‘o’ shape and Woojin chuckled. The little looked at Chan. The leader nodded.

“See? Woojin hyung is nice, isn’t he?”

Jisung nodded eagerly, looking back at Woojin. The older smiled and picked up the smaller box and handed it to Jisung. The little put his stuffed toy next to him and took the box.

To Chan and Woojin’s surprise, Jisung didn’t rip the package open. Instead, he tried to open it without ripping the paper. Of course, it didn’t work. He couldn’t find the tape, and ended up pouting and giving it to Chan. The older chuckled and put his arms around Jisung, putting the package in front of the boy. Then he opened it, almost laughing when he saw what Woojin had gotten. Jisung gasped.

“’Quiwel!”

He said, looking at Chan with wide eyes, then at Woojin. Chan laughed and let Jisung hold the squirrel sippy cup.

“Yes, baby, they’re squirrels. Do you like it?”

He asked. Jisung nodded profusely. Chan smiled and looked at Woojin, one eyebrow raised. The older chuckled.

“What? C’mon, it fits him.”

Chan just laughed.

“Sungie, did you thank Woojin hyung?”

He asked. Jisung gasped, almost letting his pacifier fall.

“Than’ you, ‘yungie.”

He said. Woojin smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“You’re welcome, pumpkin.”

He said. Jisung squealed at the nickname and hid his face in Chan’s chest, giggling. Chan and Woojin laughed, and Chan ruffled the boy’s hair.

“C’mon, baby, Woojin got you another present.”

Jisung looked up shyly, then at Woojin expectantly. Woojin chuckled and gave the boy the bigger box. Jisung tried to open that one, too, before giving it to Chan again. The older opened the box and gave it to Jisung. Chan couldn’t see, but from the way Woojin was laughing and looking at Jisung fondly he would guess the boy’s expression was priceless at the moment.

Jisung turned to him, eyes wide.

“’yungie, fawm!”

He said, eyes shining. Chan chuckled.

Woojin had bought a play farm for Jisung. It had plastic pigs, cows, rabbits and other farm animals, and little barns and fences, and a house as well as a farmer. The toy pieces were big and easy to handle, which was good, and they were all movable, so Jisung would be able to build his little farm as he wanted and play with the animals as he wanted.

“That’s a very nice, present, baby.”

He was about to instruct Jisung to thank Woojin, but the little was faster. He turned to Woojin and smiled widely behind his pacifier.

“Than’ you, ‘yungie!” He said, enthusiastically. Then he turned to Chan. “Pway?”

He asked, and really, who was Chan to deny?

As usual, Jisung made Chan sit by him as he played, making sure he had Flower with him. Chan had noticed, from the first time Jisung was little around him, that the boy was very clingy and needy. Jisung liked having someone with him at all times, and Chan and Jeongin had never left him completely alone since they had started doing this, but Chan had a feeling it wouldn’t go well.

Woojin, too, had been told to sit down with them, and Chan had warned him to keep his phone close, because watching Jisung play was nice, but after a while it got boring if they weren’t actively participating in it. This time, however, things were different. Each animal Jisung pulled out of the little bucket where they came in resulted in a different expression and information from the boy. He had even given Chan his pacifier, too excited to keep it in his mouth as he spoke.

“’yungie! Cow! ‘yungie, cows ‘ive milk, wight? Mild tasty!”

He said, putting the cow on the floor carefully. Chan chuckled.

“Yes, baby, they give us milk. You like drinking milk?”

He asked Jisung nodded eagerly, pulling the next toy out of the bucket.

“Milk tasty! ‘twabewy milk, a-and chocowate milk!” He said. Then he gasped. “’yungie! Pig!”

Chan laughed and looked at Woojin. The older made eye contact with him, smiling widely. Chan could see the same want to hug Jisung and never let go he felt reflected on Woojin’s eyes.

The animal saga continued until the bucket was empty. By then, however, a long time had passed, and Chan decided it was time he started preparing lunch, before they had a very grumpy Jisung complaining he was hungry. He nudged the boy, who was beginning to assemble his farm.

“Sungie, baby. Hyungie needs to go make lunch. Can you stay with Woojin hyung?” He asked. Jisung looked at him, and Chan noticed his eyes watering. “Oh, baby, no, there’s no need to cry. Look, you will have Flower, and Woojin hyung is really nice. He’ll play with you.”

Jisung shook his head and put his arms around Chan, clinging to the older. Chan sighed. He rubbed Jisung’s back and gestured towards the couch. Woojin looked over and nodded as he spotted Jisung’s pacifier, getting up to retrieve it. Then he kneeled next to Jisung and Chan.

“Sungie, hyung got your paci for you. Do you want it?”

He asked. Jisung looked up. He wasn’t crying, but he was far from being happy. Still, he opened his mouth and let Woojin give him his pacifier. Woojin sat down next to him and picked up a toy cow.

“Look, Sungie. The cows need to be put in their barn.”

He said, nudging Jisung’s cheek with the cow’s nose. This made Jisung look over at the toy. Then he looked back at Chan, then at Woojin. Then he sighed and moved out of Chan’s lap, holding Flower tightly against his chest. Woojin smiled and sat down. He patted his lap, offering to let Jisung sit. The boy shook his head and sat opposite of Woojin. Then he whined and reached for Chan, tugging on the older’s hoodie. Chan kneeled down.

“What’s it, baby?”

He asked. Jisung pulled on his hoodie again.

“Keep?”

He said. Chan took a few seconds to understand the request, then he chuckled and took off his hoodie giving it to Jisung.

“Now you have my shirt and my hoodie, baby. Are you planning to steal all of my clothes?”

Jisung blushed but giggled slightly. He took the hoodie as Chan handed it to him and hugged it to his chest like he was doing with Flower. Then he turned back to his toy and restarted playing. Chan smiled and left the room.

Woojin couldn’t help but to be amazed. It had taken him half a second to fall in love with little Jisung. As soon as Chan walked out carrying the kid and Woojin saw the youngest boy in his overalls he was gone, completely whipped. And now, as Jisung clung to Chan’s hoodie, Woojin could feel himself melting. The look on Jisung’s face as he opened his presents had been precious, too, and the way he excitedly talked about the animals was too cute to handle. Woojin had a hard time understanding the boy at times, but he managed well enough.

Now Jisung was very focused on building his farm. He had placed the barns strategically on the floor, putting the little plastic house between the two barns, and he was now putting up the fences, so focused that he had even stopped sucking on his pacifier. Woojin mostly just watched, amused, but when Jisung dropped the same bar for the third time and sighed, looking at it dejectedly, he picked the bar up and set it where Jisung was trying to put it.

Jisung looked up at him, eyes wide and shining, then looked back at the bar. Then he squealed, giving Woojin the cutest smile behind his pacifier.

“’yungie builded fow Sungie! Than’ you!”

He said, happily moving on to the next fence. From then on, Woojin decided to stop being a pole and start helping Jisung, and soon the boy was laughing non-stop as Woojin made silly animal noises at him.

They were interrupted by Chan’s entrance, just as Jisung finished the last fence.

“Boys, should we eat?”

He asked. Woojin had never seen Jisung stand up so fast. He rushed over to Chan, then pulled the older by the hand.

“’yungie, look! We builded!”

He said. Chan laughed, looking the farm over. It looked weird, Jisung’s aesthetic and sense of space were clearly not that well developed when he was little. He smiled at the little anyways.

“It looks amazing, baby boy. What do you say we eat really quickly so you can have strength to put all your animals in that pretty farm?”

Jisung nodded eagerly, holding his stuffed fox and Chan’s hoodie with one arm to hold Chan’s hand with the other. Then he looked at Woojin.

“’yungie eat?”

He asked. Woojin burst out laughing at the cuteness.

“Yes, pumpkin, hyungie will eat with you.”

Jisung beamed.

They entered the kitchen and Chan helped Jisung sit on a chair that had a little pillow in it. It wasn’t necessary, obviously. But Woojin figured it was part of what created the atmosphere to make Jisung comfortable in his headspace.

Jisung patiently waited for Chan to put the food on the table, and Woojin was amazed at how much of a good boy he was. Jisung in adult headspace was always hyper and making a mess with the rest of the maknae line, so it was surprising to see him so well behaved.

Soon they were sitting together, and Woojin thanked Chan for cooking, because Chan had actually prepared a whole meal for them, plus a different one for Jisung. Chan just chuckled and kissed Woojin, ignoring Jisung’s little whine. The leader then sat down next to Jisung, placing the boy’s brand new sippy cup in front of him.

“Baby, do you want hyung to feed you?”

Chan asked. Jisung seemed to think for a bit, then nodded.

“Pwease, ‘yungie.”

He said. Chan smiled and pulled his chair closer to the boy, starting to feed him. Woojin watched for a few moments, before chuckling and focusing on his own food.

They ate and talked comfortably for a while, and Jisung seemed to enjoy his sippy cup, giggling every time he picked it up and drank from it, and even running his finger over the little squirrel drawings a few times, as if to pet them.

“’yungie.” He said, on one of the times. Chan and Woojin looked at him and Jisung giggled. “’Quiwel.”

He said, proudly, and Chan and Woojin couldn’t help but to laugh.

After lunch Jisung clearly didn’t feel like playing anymore. He let Chan clean his face and hands, then let himself be pulled to the living room, but he only moved his animals for about a minute inside the toy farm, before whining and pulling on Chan’s shirt.

“’yungie, Pororo?”

He said. Chan noted the boy’s whiny voice and heavy eyes. He chuckled.

“Sure, baby boy. Let’s just brush those teeth, then we can watch Pororo, ok?”

Jisung whined, another sign of his sleepiness. He wasn’t one to complain about things like bath time and brushing his teeth, unless when he felt sleepy. The more sleepy he was the more difficult it became to handle him.

Chan was quick to pull him up, taking him to the bathroom and quickly helping the boy with his teeth, before making sure Jisung peed, because he really didn’t want to deal with putting a pull-up on the boy when he was getting fussier by the second. Then, once that was done, they headed back to the couch.

Chan smiled when he noticed Woojin had done him a huge favour and actually put on Pororo already. Jisung quickly stopped fussing as his eyes caught the little animated penguin on the screen. He made himself comfortable, cuddling Flower and Chan’s hoodie as he lay on the older’s lap, his feet on Woojin’s legs. He then looked around, smiling as Chan gave him his pacifier. Ten minutes later he was asleep.

“He’s so cute.”

Was the first thing Woojin said once Jisung was asleep. Chan looked at the boy on his lap before looking up and chuckling, changing channels to something a bit more interesting than Pororo. He settled for some random variety program, muting the TV so it wouldn’t disturb Jisung.

“I told you he was.”

He said. Woojin chuckled.

“I can see why you like taking care of him so much.” Said the older. Chan just nodded. “Think he’ll ever get used to me?”

He asked. Chan hummed.

“He will. Next time I’ll leave him alone with you and Jeongin. Me being here makes it harder for him to open up to others.”

Woojin chuckled.

“I can see that. It’s literally like a kid that interacts with others just fine, but when they’re with their parents they just hide behind them.” Chan chuckled, because it actually was an accurate comparison. “He was so cute clinging to your hoodie.”

Chan motioned towards the sleeping boy.

“My hoodie and my shirt.”

Woojin raised an eyebrow.

“Why is that?”

He asked, curious. Chan shrugged.

“He said it smells like me.”

Woojin could feel himself smiling.

“Awn, Channie. It's like he feels safe when he wears your things because he feels like you're there with him. That’s so sweet.”

Chan blushed, but he couldn’t help the proud smile from taking his face.

“Shut up.”

He said. Woojin chuckled.

Chan woke Jisung up after half an hour. If he let the boy sleep more than that then they would have a problem at night. As usual, Jisung spent the first half hour after being woken up cuddled up to Chan without doing much. This time he requested his sippy cup, and quietly drank from it from time to time, apparently enjoying being quiet as Woojin and Chan talked. Then, once he was done with his drink, he put his sippy cup down and got down from the couch, walking on his knees to his farm and stopping halfway to look at Chan and Woojin with a pout on his lips. Chan chuckled.

“I’ll watch from here, Sungie. Woojin hyung will play with you.”

Jisung’s pout deepened, but he sighed, waiting for Woojin to join him, before sitting right next to the boy to play. Woojin smiled up at Chan, and the leader chuckled.

The two of them played for quite sometime, and things were fine. Perfectly fine, really. Until a loud noise was heard outside, a car horn, and Jisung jumped, startled. Woojin expected that to be it, expected Jisung to continue playing. Instead, the boy burst out crying. Woojin didn’t even have time to register what had happened before Chan was next to Jisung, letting the boy cling to him.

“Baby, shh, it’s ok. It was just a car outside, come on.”

Woojin watched, an eyebrow raised.

“Is he ok?”

He asked as Chan sat down with Jisung clinging to him and crying. Chan nodded.

“Yes, he’s fine. Just… loud noises.”

Woojin almost laughed. Not because it was funny, but something about Jisung being that scared of a simple car horn made him want to protect the boy from everyone and everything. He could only imagine how much more protective Chan felt.

“Sungie s-scawed.”

Said the boy, sniffing. He was no longer crying, but he seemed scared, still.

“I know, baby. But hyungs are right here to take care of you. There’s no need to be scared, ok?”

Jisung sniffed again, but nodded, resting his head against Chan’s chest. Woojin approached him and caressed his hair. Surprisingly, Jisung leaned into the touch.

“Sungie, can Woojin hyung hold you for a bit?”

Chan asked, noticing the change. Jisung looked at the leader, then at Woojin. Then he nodded. Woojin knew he was smiling like a fool, but he didn’t care.

Holding Jisung was... different. Woojin had held his share of kids in his life: his little cousins and his friends’ siblings. Holding Jisung wasn’t the same, of course, but at the same time it was pretty similar.

Jisung weighted like a normal teenager, obviously, even though he was smaller – and consequently lighter – than average. But the way he settled on Woojin’s lap, putting his legs around Woojin and resting his head on Woojin’s shoulder, was exactly the same way a kid would do. Just like his arms, which he wrapped loosely around Woojin’s neck.

Jisung was also warm against Woojin, and he was quick to relax in Woojin’s arms, letting himself fall against the older, his cheek squished against his own arm on Woojin’s shoulder. From this close, Woojin could hear the little suckling sounds Jisung made when sucking on his pacifier and it shouldn’t be so adorable, but it was.

Slowly, Woojin put his arms around Jisung, hugging the boy. Jisung wiggled for a bit, getting comfortable and pulling himself closer to Woojin. Chan chuckled and Woojin knew he probably looked ridiculous smiling widely like he was, but he didn’t care.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

Asked the leader. Woojin nodded, careful not to dislodge the boy in his arms.

“It is.”

Chan laughed.

“He gets heavy after some time, but trust me, you’ll put up with a lot to stay with him for as long as possible.”

Woojin believe him, he really did.

“’yungie smell good.”

Came Jisung’s little voice. Woojin looked at him from the corner of his eye.

“I do?”

He asked. Jisung nodded. Woojin chuckled.

“Thank you, pumpkin.”

He said, and kissed the top of Jisung’s head like he had seen Chan do. It earned him a smile from Jisung. Woojin kind of regretted not talking to Jisung about this as soon as he started getting suspicious about the boy being a little, but he had a feeling he would have many chances to make up for lost time.

Chapter Text

Woojin ended up not actually having the chance of making up for lost time.

The rest of Chuseok, after Jisung was no longer feeling little, went by a bit awkwardly, with Jisung blushing every time he interacted with Woojin. He didn’t push Woojin away, not really. He just seemed extra shy and blushed way more than what Woojin was used to seeing. It didn’t seem like much of a problem. It wouldn’t have been much of a problem, if Changbin had kept quiet.

Unfortunately, they only noticed something was wrong two weeks after Chuseok.

Woojin noticed something wasn’t right as soon as he saw Jisung for the first time in the morning. He wasn’t as attuned to the nuances of Jisung’s moods and needs as Chan, but he was a very perceptive person; and although it was fairly common for Jisung to be found on Chan’s bed in the morning, Woojin was pretty sure the way Jisung was curled up hugging Chan’s arm as he would a stuffed animal and sucking on his thumb, pacifier nowhere to be seen, wasn’t a good sign.

He woke the two boys up, wanting to understand the situation, but it didn’t help much. Jisung woke up and quickly took his thumb from his mouth, red spreading across his cheeks immediately, and he was quick to sit up, avoiding looking at Woojin. Chan was still too groggy from sleep to even process the situation. Woojin raised an eyebrow.

“Jisung, are you…?”

Jisung didn’t let him finish, quickly standing up.

“Morning, hyung! Is anyone showering? Ah, I really need a shower. I’ll go shower.”

He said, and left the room without looking at Woojin. The older looked at Chan.

“Uhn, is everything ok?”

Asked the leader. Woojin frowned.

“I was about to ask you that.”

He said. Chan looked at the door behind which Jisung had just disappeared.

“Guess we’ll have to find out.”

Chan planned to keep an eye on Jisung for the rest of the day. He had noticed something was off a few days earlier, when he noticed Jisung spending more time than normal locked away or in the company, practicing alone. Him and Jeongin had talked about it, but hadn’t found anything that could tell them what was wrong, so they had decided to wait and see what happened.

They had noticed Jisung hadn’t been little or shown signs of slipping into little space since Chuseok, and they were worried about that. The longest Jisung went without falling into little space, usually, was five days, and even that was much. So two weeks was definitely weird. The events of that morning had just served to prove to Chan something was definitely going on.

When they first talked, Chan and Jeongin had chosen to wait because despite the long time, Jisung wasn’t showing any signs of feeling little. He had been using his pacifier less, but he hadn’t been overly childish and hadn’t shown any behaviour that pointed towards him needing to go into headspace. Chan knew that didn’t necessarily mean that Jisung didn’t want to go into little space, but he didn’t have the right to force Jisung. He had told the boy to go to him whenever. Now Jisung had to actually do it, and that depended on him and not on Chan.

But with Woojin also noticing something was wrong, Chan decided that maybe they should interfere. So Chan had planned to keep an eye on Jisung. He hadn’t planned to be called for a meeting, or having to leave Hyunjin, Changbin, Felix and Jisung alone, working on their raps.

Jisung sighed as he looked at the two lines written on his notebook. He had been working for two hours, and Hyunjin and Changbin had already finished their lyrics a long time ago. Changbin was still around, helping Felix out, and Hyunjin had long ago gone to practice the choreography. And yet, Jisung couldn’t come up with anything. He knew the reason for that, obviously. He could feel the stress he had been repressing for two weeks bubbling in his stomach, searching for a way out, and the image of his pacifier – the one he kept at Chan’s studio – had never seemed so appealing.

But he couldn’t. As strong as the want for his pacifier and toys was, it wasn’t stronger than the image that popped up in his mind whenever he considered letting himself slip.
Jisung knew he didn’t mean it, he knew it. But his brain could only repeat it over and over again, making it impossible for him to just ignore what had been said. Woojin and Chan looked like they needed a nap when the others arrived after the holiday, probably from staying up late watching movies together. Jisung hadn’t even considered that someone might say something. Someone had, though. Changbin had. ‘Jisungie didn’t let you rest?’. Those were the exact words he said, making everyone laugh. Chan and Woojin included.

And Jisung knew, he knew it, that Changbin didn’t know about him being little, and he knew that Chan and Woojin weren’t tired because of taking care of him, because they had three days of break and he was only little for one and a half of those days. But Changbin’s words coupled with the embarrassment he already felt whenever he remembered Woojin taking care of him wasn’t helping.

On that night, Jisung had decided that he would do his best to supress his little side. Chan had told him not to, more than once, even, and Jisung always agreed not to, because he truly wanted to be comfortable with this whole thing. He knew being little was good for him and that repressing it was unhealthy, and when Chan told him to seek someone when he felt little he agreed to do it because he wanted so much to be able to do it. The problem was that he wasn’t.

Jisung had tried a hundred times to tell either Chan or Jeongin when he felt little. He wanted to be able to go over to them and just tell them he felt little, wanted to admit he wanted them to take care of him, but whenever he tried he ended up chickening out, and then soon after one of them noticed him acting childishly and approached him before he could actually ask for it. And he knew he should probably tell Chan about it, tell him he still couldn’t go to them to ask for it, but even that was difficult for him.

But now that wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Because he wouldn’t try anymore. He was determined to hide his childish side as much as possible and avoid anything that could make him feel little. He had enjoyed it while it lasted, but he had taken half of his friends’ holiday away. They had spent time the could relax and spend together catering to Jisung and taking care of him like the big baby he was, and he couldn’t do that anymore.

It was tiring to avoid his headspace. He had to be alert all the time, since being childish came naturally to him when he was relaxed. Plus, he was back to having only lyrics writing as a coping mechanism. But it was necessary and he managed to hide it quite well, all things considered. Two weeks were a feat, considering he had started feeling little around the fourth day of the first week.

And now here he was. Tired, stressed and sad, trying to come up with lyrics when his brain insisted on thinking about his Pororo colouring book, which was lying at the bottom of his little stuff box – which he planned to throw away but still hadn’t gotten the courage to. Maybe his choice of hiding hadn’t been the best. But Chan already had too much on his plate, and so did Woojin and Jeongin, and Jisung wouldn’t bother them anymore.

“Jisung!”

Jisung jumped up, startled, blinking to focus on Changbin, who as the one calling him.

“Yes, hyung?”

He asked, still a bit out of it. Changbin huffed.

“Jesus, I’ve been calling you for ages. C’mon, what do you have done? Show it to me.”

Jisung looked down at his notebook and grimaced.

“I, uhn…”

He started, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding Changbin’s eyes.

“You…?”

Changbin prompted.

“I’m kinda having a hard time?”

Said Jisung, although it came out like an answer. Changbin frowned and approached him, looking at his notebook. His expression turned incredulous.

“Wait, you’re kidding, right?”

Jisung felt his stomach drop and his heart lurch. He blushed.

“Uhn, I was a bit… I can’t come up with anything.”

Changbin was clearly at a loss of what to do, but behind that Jisung could feel anger rising to the older’s eyes.

“I can’t believe this. I actually can’t believe this.” Changbin’s voice was harsh, and Jisung knew it was because the boy was tired and overworked, like all of them, but at the moment he could only think about how harsh the older sounded, and that he had disappointed Changbin. “We’ve been here for hours, Jisung, and all you’ve manage to come up with is two lines?”

He took the notebook from Jisung, who couldn’t help but to whimper, the urge to cry getting stronger. He gripped the hem of his shirt and bit on his bottom lip.

“I-I tried.”

He said, his voice coming out wobbly and weak. Changbin snorted.

“They aren’t even good! They make no sense! Jisung, what…?”

Felix’s who had been quiet, spoke up.

“Hyung, I think you should…”

Changbin ignored him.

“What are we gonna do, then, Jisung? Take this to Chan hyung? Will you tell him this is all you have?” Asked the older, and Jisung could feel the tears threatening to fall from his eye at the mention of Chan’s name. “You’ve got to…”

Felix spoke again, this time louder.

“Hyung!” This got Changbin’s attention. “Hyung, stop.”

Said Felix. Jisung’s vision was blurry and he could feel all the stress he had been bottling up coming with full force.

“Lix, I…” Started Changbin. Jisung crouched down, hiding his face in his knees and finally letting the tears fall, because there was no way in hell he’d be able to hold that in. “What…? Shit.”

Said Changbin. Jisung heard them rushing towards him.

Felix put a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, and he had expected the boy to pull away. Instead, Jisung wrapped his arms around Felix and the younger had to sit down so he could pull the boy onto his lap. Jisung was sobbing, now, hands fisted on Felix’s shirt as he soaked Felix’s shoulder with tears. Felix glared at Changbin, but the guilty and worried look on the older’s face made him regret it instantly. He chose to focus on Jisung.

For a while they waited. They waited for almost half an hour before Jisung stopped crying. When he did, Felix gestured for Changbin to hand him a water bottle and gave it to Jisung. The boy didn’t take it.

“Sung, you have to drink.” He said. Jisung looked at him, eyes wide. Felix frowned. “C’mon, just a little bit.”

He pushed. Jisung looked at the bottle in Felix’s hand and opened his mouth. Felix raised an eyebrow, then looked from Jisung to the bottle, before shrugging and putting it to the boy’s lips. Jisung closed his mouth around it, drinking eagerly.

Once he was done, Felix put the bottle away. Changbin approached them.

“Ok, now…”

Felix was startled when Jisung whimpered and hid his face against his neck. Changbin raised an eyebrow.

“Jisung?”

Felix called. Jisung shook his head.

“Sorry.” He said. “Sung- I-I tried.”

He said, sounding close to crying again. On instinct, Felix lifted a hand and started rubbing his back in an attempt to calm the boy down.

“It’s ok, Ji. Changbin hyung was just tired and he took it out on you. He wants to apologize.”

Jisung shook his head again.

“Wan’ Channie h-hyung.”

He said. Felix looked at Changbin. The older was looking at Jisung as if the boy had just grown another head.

"I think Chan hyung is in a meeting, Sung."

Said Felix, carefully. Jisung closed his eyes tightly, and Felix had the feeling the boy was trying not to cry again

"P-pwease."

Jisung said. Felix raised an eyebrow. They were all used to Jisung’s pacifier lisp, but the boy didn’t have his pacifier at the moment. Plus, his voice was more high pitched than normal. Felix bit on his lip.

"I can try to call him..."

He decided, picking up his phone. On his lap, Jisung nodded.

Surprisingly, Chan picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Lix, I'm on my way there already."

He greeted. Felix smiled, relieved.

"Oh, thank god."

He could almost hear Chan becoming worried on the other side of the phone.

"Thank god? Why? Did something happen?"

Felix looked at Jisung, who was chewing on his lip, still sitting on his lap.

"Uhn, Jisung..."

On the other side, Chan cursed.

"Fuck. I'll be there in a second."

He turned off the phone.

Chan entered the room five minutes later, searching around with his eyes. He soon spotted what he was looking for. Which, Felix noticed, was Jisung. Felix was completely confused.
Chan approached them carefully, kneeling down next to Felix. Jisung's eyes were closed, so he didn't notice the action until Chan spoke up, softly.

"Jisung?"

He called. Jisung's eyes shot open, and Felix saw a hundred emotions swimming in them for a second, before Jisung's lower lip wobbled and he reached forward to Chan. The leader carefully sat down, pulling Jisung to his lap and rocking the boy, rubbing his back.

"Hyungie is here, Sungie. It's ok, love."

He said. Felix watched, amazed, as Jisung immediately relaxed, curling up on Chan's lap like a little kid.

Felix had noticed Chan and Jisung's relationship as soon as he arrived. The two of them seemed to have a kind of link that didn't exist between any of the others - except maybe Woojin and Hyunjin. At first Felix thought they were dating, or maybe into each other. Then he noticed Chan looking at Woojin and Jisung looking at Minho, and he knew it was something else. He had asked Changbin about it. The older hadn't been too helpful. 'They've always been weird like this. Chan takes care of Sung, Sung lets him.' Was what the older said. Felix noticed the dynamic. He didn't think it was weird, more like endearing. He had given up on understanding it long ago, simply accepting that was how things were.

But this... this was different. It was the same thing he had been seeing since he joined, Chan taking care of Jisung, Jisung trusting Chan to take care of him. But Felix had never seen it so explicitly, so... close to how a parental figure would treat a child.

Next to him, Chan was trying to look for something inside his bag while holding Jisung.

"What do you need, hyung?"

He asked. Chan smiled gratefully.

"His paci."

He said. Felix nodded, opening the bag and looking for it. He found it on an inside pack, and decided he could ask Chan about the pull-ups in there later. He handed the pacifier to Chan, noticing that it wasn’t Jisung’s usual space pacifier, but one Felix had never seen before. Oh, something was definitely going on.

Chan gave Jisung the pacifier and the boy took it, sucking lazily, almost fully relaxed on Chan's arms. By Felix's side, Changbin spoke up.

"Ok, what the hell is going on?"

He asked. Felix cringed. He wanted to know what was going on, too, but he didn't think Changbin's tone was the best if he wanted to get something out of Chan at the moment. The leader looked up, one eyebrow raised.

"I'll tell you guys later. For now I'll take Sungie."

Changbin opened his mouth to complain, but one look from Chan shut him up. The leader nudged Jisung and stood up. Jisung followed the action, stumbling a bit and clinging to Chan's arm, hiding behind the leader. Felix noticed he was hiding from Changbin.

"Do you need help, hyung?"

Felix offered. Chan shook his head, smiling thankfully.

"It's fine, don't worry. The two of you can go home for today. I can tell you're tired. We can talk about this later, ok?"

And saying that he held Jisung's hand and pulled him away, leaving Felix and Changbin alone.

Jisung woke up with a headache. He opened his eyes, noticing he didn't know where he was and how he had gotten there, and for a second he panicked, before he spotted Chan working on his computer and noticed he was in the older's studio. For a second he felt relief.

His relief was very short lived, as he soon noticed the stuffed toy in his hand and the crinkling between his legs. He immediately sat up, face reddening when he noticed his pull-up was actually wet. A second later his pacifier and stuffed toy were on the floor and he gripped his head, angry to the point of pulling his hair out. He didn't notice the commotion he was making until a hand gently grabbed his and pulled them down, hold tight but gentle.

"Jisung."

It was Chan's voice. Jisung's eyes were stinging, and the afternoon memories were returning, and he knew he had already cried more than enough for the day, but he couldn't stop himself from crying again, this time in anger.

"Let me go, hyung."

He said, trying to pull away from Chan. The leader ignored his attempts.

"You'll hurt yourself. Jisung, you need to calm down."

Jisung didn't want to. Once again he had set a goal to himself and utterly failed to achieve it. Not only that. He had slipped in front of Felix and Changbin, and had inconvenienced Chan once again. He didn't want to calm down, he wanted... he wanted... he let himself go limp against Chan, tears sliding silently down his face, because he didn't have the strength to actually cry.

"It's so hard, hyung."

He mumbled. Chan's voice was strained as he kissed Jisung's head and replied.

"I'm here with you, baby."

Jisung changed in the bathroom before joining Chan again in his studio. He washed his face and pulled his mask over it, and once he felt he looked acceptable he headed back. Chan was waiting for him by the door.

"Lets go?"

He asked. Jisung nodded.

They hadn't talked. After Jisung's break down Chan had told him to go clean up so they could go home, and told him they would talk later.

Jisung didn't complain. He didn't want to talk at all. If he was being given the chance to delay this conversation he would take it.

They walked in silence, and Jisung knew Chan was blaming himself for Jisung's break down and wondering what he could have done to avoid it. After a few minutes, Jisung sighed, giving up on stalling.

"It's not your fault, hyung."

Chan looked at him, startled.

"What?"

Jisung shrugged.

"Me. It's not your fault."

Chan sighed.

"I should have been there. I should have noticed you were feeling little."

Jisung shook his head.

"You shouldn't. You couldn't. Not when I hid it. And I shouldn't have... shouldn't be like that."

Chan stopped walking and Jisung stumbled, surprised at the sudden stop. He looked at the older. Chan looked hurt.

"So you have been hiding."

Jisung cringed, feeling guilty.

"Hyung..."

Chan shook his head.

"You said you would tell me."

Jisung's heart was breaking at Chan’s hurt tone and expression.

"I-I sorry. I really am, hyung, I tried to, I swear I did. But I get so embarrassed, and I still feel like this is wrong, and you get tired, and…”

Chan interrupted him.

"Who said I get tired? I never..."

"Changbin hyung said." Jisung mumbled, interrupting Chan. "And I know it's true. I-I know I take a lot of your time, and…” Chan pulled Jisung into a hug, interrupting him. Jisung noticed, with a shock, that Chan was crying. "Hyung? Hyung why are you crying?"

He asked. Chan pulled him closer. After a while, the older pulled back and dried his eyes.

"Sorry."

He said, still wiping his cheeks. Jisung shook his head.

"I cry on you all the time, hyung."

He said. Chan smiled slightly.

"Sung. Can you please listen to me and try to accept what I tell you?"

Jisung bit on his lip, then nodded.

"Ok, hyung."

Chan nodded. They were still in the middle of the street, so Chan pulled him to a corner where they wouldn't be in anyone's way.

"I got you a present." The older said. Jisung tilted his head. "It's in the dorms."

"Why are you telling me this right now, hyung?"

Chan chuckled.

"Do you know how much time I spend trying to find out more about ageplay and trustworthy websites to buy stuff for you?"

He asked. Jisung blushed.

"Hyung..."

Chan interrupted him, and his cheeks were also red.

"A lot. I spend a lot of time. Do you know why?" Jisung shook his head. "Because I love taking care of you. I really love it, Sung. I get so excited when I see you acting childish, and I always try to wait for you to come to me, but you never do, and…"

He sighed. Jisung felt his heart clenching.

"Hyung, I try. I swear I try."

Chan nodded.

“I know you do. I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I just want to understand what is it that’s holding you back, when you know everyone involved wants it.”

Jisung looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“I’m scared I’m taking too much of your time and that you guys won’t take me seriously.”

He said, after a few seconds. Chan tilted his head.

“What?”

Jisung blushed.

“I take too much of your free time, and…”

Chan shook his head.

“No, not that.”

Jisung’s blush deepened.

“You see me walking around in baby clothes, sucking on a pacifier and playing with toys, hyung. Why would you treat me like an adult?”

He said, and it was only then, once he voiced it, that he found out what had been bothering him the most.

“Is that…? That makes no sense, Sung. We will treat you like an adult because we can separate your little self from your adult self perfectly well.”

Jisung sighed.

“I just… I feel embarrassed about being such a big baby in front of you guys all the time. I feel like you won’t be able to take me seriously after.”

Chan pulled Jisung closer and held his hand.

“Sung. Have we ever treated you like a kid when you weren’t feeling little?” Jisung shook his head. “That’s right, we haven’t. Do you know why? Because we know you’re fully capable of taking care of yourself and doing things on your own. We don’t see you like some helpless little kid we have to take care of all the time. You are our friend and our band mate. And sometimes we help you de-stress by treating you like a child, because you need it at that time specifically.”

Jisung looked at the older.

“It’s still really hard to me, hyung. I feel like telling you guys I’m feeling little is like forcing you to take care of me.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“I know. I understand. But please try to understand this: you aren’t forcing us, because we enjoy it. We like it. You didn’t ask us to be your caregivers, we offered.”

Jisung bit on his lip. Chan stopped him.

“I still feel embarrassed.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“Ok. We can work around that. But please don’t repress that side of you, Sung. It’s not healthy.”

Jisung sighed. He had promised Chan not to repress it twice already.

“I can promise to try, hyung.”

Chan nodded.

“That’s good enough. I’ll help you.” Jisung fiddled with his shirt, glancing shyly at Chan. The older noticed and laughed, pulling Jisung into a hug. Jisung melted against him. “Can I still call you cute, though?”

Changbin and Felix were, unsurprisingly, waiting for Chan and Jisung to arrive. As soon as they noted the pair entering the dorms they got up from the couch, eyes expectant. Chan looked at Jisung. Jisung shrugged, his cheeks reddening.

“Ok, you two can sit down, we said we’d talk. Just let me leave my thing in the room, ok?”

Said the leader, clearly trying to ease the mood. Felix sat back down, instantly obeying. Changbin sighed, but did as he was told. Chan led Jisung to his room, leaving the pair in the living room.

“Want to talk or want me to do the talking?” He asked. Jisung’s look was enough for Chan to laugh and nod. “I’ll talk, then.”

They left the room and headed to where Felix and Changbin were waiting.

“Ok, now are you finally going to explain?”

Asked Changbin as soon as Chan sat down in front of them. Chan rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Bin. Be a bit patient here.” Changbin stuck his tongue out at Chan. “Ok, so. Can you guys tell me what happened? Cause I can’t really tell you what the problem was without knowing the cause.”

It wasn’t true. He could explain it perfectly well, but he wanted to hear what had cause Jisung to drop. Changbin looked down, scratching his neck awkwardly.

“Ah, uhn… well, we were writing and Jisung wasn’t making much progress with his lyrics. And I, uhn, might have snapped at him.”

Felix snorted. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“Might.”

Said the younger. Changbin glared at his boyfriend. Chan looked at Jisung. The boy was looking down, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Sung? Was that what made you drop?”

He asked. Jisung nodded.

“Was stressed. It was just too much.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“Ok. So, what you witnessed was Jisung going into little space.”

As expected, that only made Felix and Changbin look even more confused.

“Little space?”

Asked Felix. Chan nodded.

“There is this thing. It’s called ageplay. It’s when someone acts younger or older than they physically are for one reason or another. There are many reasons a person might do this. Could be because of an illness, because of Dissociative Identity Disorder, to relieve stress. There are lots of reasons.” Changbin looked a bit weirded out. Felix’s eyes were sparkling with interest. “People who regress to a younger age are known as littles. Sometimes they have caregivers, a person who takes care of them when they feel little.”

He said, stopping his explanations because he knew Changbin and Felix needed time to take it in and ask questions.

“Ji is a little?”

Felix asked. He seemed excited about the possibility. Chan looked at Jisung. The boy was all red. Chan nudged him.

“Yeah.”

Replied Jisung, after a second. He missed Felix’s smile, but Chan didn’t.

“Why do you regress, Ji?”

Asked Felix, stumbling over the word ‘regress’ a bit, since it was a word he used very little. Jisung shrugged.

“Stress relief.”

Felix nodded.

“Is it voluntary?”

Jisung looked at Chan. Chan nodded.

“It can be voluntary or involuntary. In the case of the dissociative disorder it’s involuntary. Sungie’s is mostly voluntary, I think.”

He looked at Jisung. Felix copied him, eyes begging Jisung to say more. Jisung squirmed, a bit uncomfortable, but glad to notice that Felix was interested and not creeped out.

“It’s… difficult to explain. It’s mostly voluntary, but I… I’m not fully conscious of what I’m doing? I don’t know how to explain.” Chan perked up to listen. Jisung had never told him about this in detail. “It’s like… when I feel little I know what I’m doing, but I make choices I normally wouldn’t. Like… say I want something. Usually I would ask for it. When I feel little I point at it with my nose and whine until someone gets it for me. It’s not fully involuntary, I know I can get up to get it or ask someone for it. If I’m with someone I don’t trust that’s what I do. But I… my brain tells me to just whine until I get it, and if I’m around someone I’m not comfortable with it takes a lot of effort to not just do that. If I’m comfortable I act like that without thinking.”

Jisung was completely red. Chan was fascinated. Felix looked like he was watching the most interesting movie of all times. Changbin… still looked weirded out.

“And when do you feel little? Why do you feel little? Is there something that triggers you? Do you have a caregiver?”

Jisung chuckled a bit at Felix enthusiasm and Chan mentally thanked the younger boy.

“I… it depends. Being stressed makes me feel little, it’s like my brain tells me to relax, and that’s my way to relax. Sometimes I feel little just because. And, uhn…” Jisung glanced at Chan for a second, looking away immediately and blushing. “People taking care of me triggers my little side. And cartoons. And cute stuff or toys, and if I’m feeling really stressed my pacifier. And a few people.”

He added the last part as if he didn’t want to say it. Chan shouldn’t be so proud. Felix tilted his head.

“Chan hyung triggers it, doesn’t he?” Jisung blushed and crossed his arms. Felix chuckled. “That’s cute.”

Jisung whined.

“Shut up.”

Felix laughed.

“You didn’t answer me if you have a caregiver, though.”

Jisung shrugged.

“Chan hyung. A-and Innie.”

Felix’s eyes widened.

“Jeongin?”

Jisung nodded.

“Woojin hyung knows, too. But we haven’t… talked about it.”

He said. Felix seemed to be in awe. Changbin cleared his throat awkwardly. The other three looked at him.

“Ok, so let me see if I got this right. You sometimes act like a child to relax and it helps you de-stress. You feel good when you do it, and you have people who take care of you?”

Jisung nodded. Changbin frowned.

“And today…?”

He asked. Jisung shrugged.

“I’ve been… repressing my little side. For two weeks. Usually I regress twice a week or something, but I haven’t in two weeks, and I was stressed. So when you got angry at me I couldn’t hold on to my adult headspace anymore, and Chan hyung’s presence made me drop.”

Changbin nodded.

“So if you repress it you end up dropping?”

Jisung hummed.

“Yes, something like that. If Chan hadn’t come in I would have managed to control it and you wouldn’t know, but… yeah.”

Changbin grimaced.

“Then why do you repress it?”

Jisung shrugged.

“It’s… embarrassing.”

Felix made an irritated noise.

“What are you talking about? It’s cute, not embarrassing!”

Jisung looked down.

“You haven’t even seen it.”

He said. Felix snorted.

“No, but I can imagine and it sounds adorable.”

Jisung opened his mouth to reply, but chose not to. Changbin spoke up.

“Look… I’m not going to say I understand or like this. I’m not sure I want to see you acting like a toddler, Sung. But… but if it’s good for you, then you shouldn’t repress it. There are people willing to help you, here, so let them, ok?”

Chan smiled proudly and thankful at Changbin.

“I… ok, hyung. I’ll try.”

Changbin smiled.

“I’m sorry about yelling at you today, too.” Jisung nodded. “I’ll go take a nap. You guys can talk about this together, have fun answering Lix’s five hundred questions.”

Jisung’s eyes widened and he looked at Chan. The leader shrugged. At least Felix was excited.

Jisung watched Changbin leave. The older was clearly a bit uncomfortable with the idea of Jisung being little, but for some reason his words had made Jisung relax a bit about the whole thing. Changbin didn’t want to see Jisung in little space, but he accepted Jisung and wanted Jisung to do it because it was bad for Jisung not to. Jisung had never even considered that as a possible reaction.

He turned around and spotted Felix smiling at him. He groaned.

“Oh god.”

Felix and Chan laughed.

“I’ll only ask if you let me, Ji.”

He said, being serious for a moment. Jisung nodded.

“You can ask. But I won’t answer if I not comfortable, ok?”

Felix smiled.

“Ok. So, how old are you?”

He asked. Jisung blushed.

“Did you have to start there?”

He asked. Felix chuckled.

“Ok, sorry. Uhn… do you have other pacifiers besides the two I know about?”

Jisung nodded.

“The space one, the squirrel one, and fox one.”

He said. Felix smile widened.

“Do you have a favourite?”

He asked.

“T-the space one. It g-glows in the dark.”

Jisung answered shyly. Felix looked like he wanted to squish him.

“Do you suck on your thumb when you don’t have them?” Jisung nodded. “Do you have anything specific that really triggers you?”

Jisung stopped to think for a bit, then blushed.

“Uhn, one of my stuffed toys and wearing clothes that are too big for me.”

He said. Felix hummed.

“How many stuffed toys do you have?”

Jisung squirmed.

“Four.”

He answered.

“Cute. What are their names?”

Jisung blushed.

“Flower, Jeongie, Woo, and Chanchan.”

He said, looking down. He could feel Chan looking at him and he knew the older was smiling. He crossed his arms. Felix laughed.

“Do you sleep with them?”

“Just Flower.”

“What kind of animal is Flower?”

“A fox.”

“Do you like hearing bedtime stories?”

Jisung blushed at that, fiddling with his shirt.

“Uhn, I’ve never…”

He glanced at Chan, looking back down a second later.

“Oh. Do you want someone to tell you bedtime stories?”

Jisung shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. Can we drop the subject?”

Felix laughed.

“Sure. Is there anything you’re scared of when you’re little?”

“Dark. A-and loud noises.”

Felix nodded, and Jisung knew he could relate, considering he was scared of thunder.

“And do you have anything that helps you calm down?”

Jisung once again blushed, this time refusing to look at Chan.

“Flower. And my paci. And hyung’s clothes.”

He mumbled the last part, and Felix didn’t press it, but Jisung could tell the boy wanted to say something. Probably say that it was cute.

“Do you call Chan hyung hyung in little space? What about Innie?”

Jisung bit on his lip.

“I call Innie hyungie. And Woojin hyung too. I call Channie hyungie too, most of the time.”

Felix raised an eyebrow.

“Not always?” Jisung didn’t answer. Felix dropped it. “Ok, and what do they call you?”

Jisung was tempted to deny answering that, too, but he decided he could make an effort.

“Uhn, mostly Sungie. Woojin hyung calls me…”

He stopped, not able to say it.

“It’s ok, Ji.”

Felix reassured. Jisung shook his head and looked at Chan. The older, who had been quiet, nodded.

“Woojin calls him pumpkin. Innie calls him little boy sometimes. I call him baby boy a lot. Sometimes we call him Jiji.”

Felix’s smile was illuminating his whole face.

“Those are so cute! Do you have a favourite one?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“I-I really like all of them.”

Felix tilted his head.

“Is there a nickname you like that they don’t use?”

Jisung shrugged. Then nodded.

“Angel.”

He mumbled. Felix’s smile was so fond it made Jisung almost melt.

“Too adorable. What kinds of things do you have?”

Jisung’s eyes illuminated at that question.

“C-colouring book. A-and a farm set. And my ‘quirrel sippy cup. And play-doh.”

Felix nodded.

“That sounds cool, Ji. And… well, I saw some pull-ups on hyung’s bag today.”

Jisung immediately blushed and looked at Chan. The leader smiled apologetically.

“I keep them for emergencies.”

He said. Jisung pouted.

“Can we not talk about that?”

He asked. Felix nodded.

“Tell me about what you like to play when you’re little, then.”

Jisung smiled thankfully.

“Tickling. I really like tickling.”

Felix laughed.

“And is there anything you want to get that you still don’t have?”

Chan watched as Felix asked and Jisung replied. He smiled to himself. They had a long way to go, and he would have to keep an eye on Jisung to make sure the boy wasn’t keeping important things to himself. But he had a feeling Changbin and Felix finding out had been a good thing. A really good thing. Now he had to talk to Jeongin and Woojin.

Chapter Text

Jisung bit on his sweater’s sleeve as he sat on Chan’s bed, trying to gather up the courage to go to the older and tell him he was feeling little. He had woken up during the night after a weird dream and had gone to the boy’s bed, seeking comfort. He had then fallen asleep in Chan’s arms, and when he woke up again, in the morning, Chan was no longer next to him. As soon as he got the urge to cry about that he noticed he was feeling little.

It had been a while since he last let himself be little. Four days, specifically, a few days after Felix and Changbin found out. Only Woojin had been around, then, and he had been the one to notice Jisung feeling little and to tell him to relax and be little. Jisung had allowed himself that, his promise to Chan still fresh in his mind.

Now he was trying to take another step in this whole process. Which was actually telling someone about feeling little. He was still far from telling anyone when he wanted to be little just because, but it wasn’t the case now. He really needed to be little at the moment, to avoid a future breakdown. Sighing, he took his sweater from his mouth, replacing it with his pacifier, and got up.

Chan was on the kitchen, thankfully alone. Jisung took a few deep breaths before approaching him. The boy was doing the dishes. Jisung didn’t think he would be able to say anything, so instead of trying to speak he stopped by Chan’s side and lay his head on the older’s shoulder. The leader jumped a bit, startled, before noticing it was Jisung and chuckling.

“Well, hey there.” He said. Jisung hummed. “Sleepy?”

The older asked. Jisung swallowed around the lump on his throat and turned his head to nuzzle against Chan’s neck. He whined a bit, trying to get his point across. Chan seemed to get it, because he instantly turned off the water.

“Sungie? Are you feeling little, angel?”

The nicknames certainly didn’t help. He felt his cheeks reddening and moved so he was standing in front of Chan, hugging the boy’s waist and hiding his face in his chest. Chan chuckled.

“’yungie…”

Jisung whined. Chan ran a hand through his hair.

“Well, good thing I have a free morning today, hum?” He said. Jisung hummed. “C’mon, let’s get you ready and then I’ll send the others away.”

Jisung smiled softly and let Chan take his hand and guide him towards his room.

Changbin was getting up when Chan entered pulling Jisung by the hand. The leader saw Changbin looking at them, and he could tell the boy was a bit uncomfortable. He smiled at Changbin.

“I’ll wait for you to go, don’t worry.”

He said. Changbin blinked, seeming surprised, then shook his head.

“It’s ok. I mean, I’m used to seeing you doing basic things for him. I just don’t want to be part of… the rest.”

Chan raised an eyebrow. He had the feeling that Changbin didn’t quite know what ‘the rest’ was, and that if he did he would think differently of the situation. But that was a topic for another moment.

“Well, I’ll go ahead, then.”

He said. Changbin nodded.

Chan sat Jisung down on the bed, and he could tell the boy still wasn’t completely little. As Chan chose his outfit and helped him take off his shirt that became clear as Jisung blushed and tried to hide.

“’yungie.”

He whined. Chan followed his eyes, stopping on Changbin. He hummed.

“Want hyung to wait for Binnie to go away, angel?”

Jisung nodded, cheeks reddening even more at the nickname he apparently loved. Chan noticed the interest on Changbin’s eyes, but said nothing. Sometimes it was better to let people take their time and come to their own conclusions.

“I’m almost done, don’t worry.”

He said, and finished pulling on his pants before leaving the room, sending Jisung a soft smile. Chan watched the interaction, and as Changbin closed the door behind his back he turned back to Jisung.

“Ok, baby boy, arms up.”

He said. Jisung lifted his arms and let Chan pull the lion t-shirt over his head. Once that was done, Chan helped the younger boy out of his pants and dressed him in his jeans overalls. Jisung squealed as he recognized the clothes, clapping happily. Chan laughed. He had noticed Jisung really loved overalls, and planned on buying more for him.

Once he was done dressing the boy he looked inside the box, searching for Jisung’s stuffed fox. He found it and pulled it out, an excited ‘aha!’ leaving his lips as he presented it as if it was a prize. Jisung squealed.

“Fwower! ‘yungie, Fwower! Give!”

He said. Chan laughed and gave the boy the fox. Jisung hummed happily, hugging the toy.

“Baby boy, can you stay here with Flower as hyung sends the others to practice?”

He asked. It wouldn’t be difficult to get people out, considering only Seungmin, Hyunjin and Minho had to be sent away. Jisung tried to pout around his pacifier.

“’yungie stay.”

He said. Chan would never get over how clingy Jisung was in headspace.

“Hyungie will be right back, baby. But we need the others to leave so Sungie can play, don’t we?”

Jisung’s pout deepened, but he nodded.

“’yungie back quickwy?”

He asked. Chan smiled and nodded.

“Yes, baby boy, hyung will be back before you notice.”

And saying that he left the room.

It was easy to send the ones who didn’t know away. Changbin knew what was going on and helped by dragging Hyunjin out under the cover of training the younger’s vocalization while rapping. Minho was easy to lure out, too. Woojin asked for help with the choreography for their side track, easily convincing Seungmin to join them. Chan knew the older would prefer to stay and play with little Jisung, but he had spent a whole day alone with Jisung the last time, and decided this time he could help them in other ways, by taking the others away.

And then it was Chan, Jeongin, Felix and Jisung at the dorm.

Felix was excited. He had the biggest smile Chan had ever seen in his face and he was almost bouncing in place once Chan told him about the situation.

“I got him presents, hyung!”

He said, and Chan wasn’t even slightly surprised. Jeongin, by his side, chuckled.

“Well, he’s going to love that, hyung.”

He said. Felix beamed at him. Chan laughed.

“Ok, I’ll go get him. You two can wait here.”

He said, then entered his room.

Jisung was no longer on the bed where Chan had left him. Instead, he was lying on the floor belly down, playing with Flower and talking quietly, clearly immersed on whatever scenario he was creating on his mind. Chan bit on his lip to avoid making noise and watched the boy for a few seconds. Then he laughed at the adorableness, and Jisung looked up, startled.

As soon as his eyes found Chan, Jisung smiled widely, his squirrel teeth showing and his cheeks looking even chubbier and adorable. He quickly got up, Flower still in his hand, and ran to Chan, hugging him.

“’yungie! ‘yungie back!”

He said. Chan kissed his temple.

“Of course hyung is back, baby. Hyung promised, didn’t he?”

Jisung nodded.

“Sungie missed ‘yungie.”

He said, pouting. Chan couldn’t help but to kiss his chubby cheek.

“Hyungie is sorry he was gone for so long, baby boy. Now what do you say we go out so you can meet Lix and play in the living room?”

He asked. Jisung pulled back from the hug and whined.

“Meet?”

He asked. Chan nodded.

“Yes, baby. Lix hyungie is really excited to meet you!”

Jisung shifted in his place, seeming uncomfortable.

“C-can Sun’ie ta’e Fwower and Chanchan?”

He asked. Chan smiled. He had asked Jisung about his plushies’ names after the younger told Felix about them. The conversation had included Jisung blushing like crazy and admitting that he had given the toys their names after the boys who knew about his age regression.

“Of course, baby. Let’s get Chanchan so we can ok, yeah?”

He said. Jisung nodded. Chan looked inside the box again, pulling out Jisung’s stuffed lion and giving it to him. Jisung nuzzled the lion’s little nose and held it in his free hand. Then he pouted, looking at Chan. The older laughed.

“Can you hold Flower and Chanchan in the same hand, angel?”

Jisung’s face lit up and he tried that, squealing as he managed to hold both toys in one hand. Chan laughed and extended a hand to the boy. Jisung took it.

As soon as they entered the living room Felix stood up. He was smiling widely, clearly curious to see Jisung. The little, on the other hand, wasn’t so excited. He whined as he saw Felix, then hid behind Chan. The leader chuckled at Felix’s pout and continued to walk, pulling Jisung with him. Jeongin, on the couch, changed the TV channel to find something that would help Jisung feel comfortable. He settled for an animation about shapes.

“Baby boy, can you come out to say hi to Lix?” Chan asked, once they were by the couch. Jisung whined. Chan rolled his eyes. “Please, baby? Lix is going to be really sad if you don’t say hi.”

Jisung’s whine was louder this time and he shyly looked around Chan. Felix smiled. Jisung hid again. Chan snorted as Felix’s smile fell.

“Did I scare him, hyung?”

He asked. Chan shook his head.

“No, Lix. Sungie is just shy, right, Sungie?”

Jisung whined again. Felix hummed. Then he picked up a box and unwrapped it. Chan noticed it was one of the presents he had gotten for Jisung. It was a colourful board game. Chan snorted loudly as he read the name. Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game. At this pace everything little Jisung owned was going to be squirrel themed.

“Well, since he’s shy I guess I’ll have to play alone…”

Said Felix, and Chan tried not to laugh as he felt Jisung peeking around him, clearly curious. Jeongin, on the couch, was watching, amused.

Felix put the game on the floor and started assembling it, making excited and surprised noises at everything, and soon Jisung was completely entranced, not even noticing he was no longer behind Chan. The leader looked at Jeongin before gesturing towards the floor. Jeongin seemed to get the idea and sat down next to Felix.

“Wah, Lix hyung, this looks so fun! What are we supposed to do?”

Felix smiled.

“So, we are squirrels, right? And winter is coming, so we need to pick up acorns and store them on our logs! See, there are lots of colourful acorns!”

He continued to explain it excitedly, and once he was done he gave Jeongin a log so they could play. Next to Chan, Jisung whined. Felix turned to him, tilting his head.

“Sungie, you want to play?”

He offered. Jisung looked at Chan, eyes big and conflicted. Chan smiled at him and moved to sit down next to Felix.

“C’mon, angel. Hyungie will stay with you, ok?”

He said, patting his lap. He would probably regret it after a while, once his legs began to fall asleep under Jisung’s weight, but Chan would do anything to see Jisung happy and comfortable. Jisung hesitated for a second more, then he let himself sit down on Chan’s lap. Felix was clearly trying hard to contain his excitement. Chan didn’t blame him. Shy Jisung in his overalls and lion shirt was absolutely adorable.

“Here, Sungie, this is your log. Did you understand the game?”

Asked Felix. Jisung took the log shyly and nodded, putting the log on the floor carefully. Felix smiled at him and handed him the squirrel squeezer and Jisung’s eyes widened before he squealed at the toy.

Jeongin and Felix laughed and Jisung looked up, expression hurt. Chan, who had already made that mistake, hugged Jisung.

“They’re laughing because you’re cute, baby boy. Isn’t that right, boys?”

The two others were quick to nod.

“Yeah, Sungie, we think you’re adorable and when we see you happy it makes us happy too.”

Said Jeongin. Jisung’s pout transformed into a surprised expression. Felix nodded eagerly at the maknae’s words.

“That’s right, Sungie, we just want to see you smiling.”

He said. Jisung’s cheeks became red and he smiled, looking down.

“Sungie ‘appy.”

He said, and it was the first time he spoke around Felix. The boy looked ready to combust.

“That’s good, Sungie. Now how about we start this game, hum?”

Suggested Chan. Jisung bounced on his lap happily. Chan grimaced at the slight pain on his legs, but couldn’t help but to smile a second later at Jisung’s enthusiasm.

They played for a while, because Jisung absolutely adored the game. He lost more than won, but he didn’t seem to care at all. The game involved lots of celebrating when they rolled a good dice and complaining when they didn’t. The smile never left Jisung’s face. By the fifth time they started the game, Jisung decided to make his own rules, and insisted Chan play with them, and it was actually quite fun to play with Jisung.

But after the seventh time he started getting bored and pushed the toy aside, looking around for something else to do. Noticing that, Felix got up.

“Well, Sungie, do you want to see the presents hyung got for you, now?”

He asked. Jisung’s eyes widened and he looked at Chan, surprised. Chan laughed.

“It’s Lix hyung who’s talking to you, baby, not me.”

He said. Jisung looked back at Felix. The boy got up and sat on the couch, patting the couch next to him. Jisung hesitated, then grabbed the stuffed toys he had left by his side on the floor and made his way to sit next to Felix. He sat down and put his toys in his lap, then glanced at Chan and Jeongin. He pouted. Jeongin smiled and got up, sitting behind him. Jisung relaxed considerably.

“Ok, Sungie, which one do you want first?” Asked Felix, excited. Jisung looked at boxes and pointed with his nose at the pink one. Felix picked it up. “Oh, very good choice!”

He said. Jisung perked up, interested. Felix handed him the box and the little gave it to Jeongin to open for him. Jeongin tilted his head.

“He doesn’t like ripping packages.”

Explained Chan. Jeongin raised an eyebrow and opened the present, clearly trying not to laugh at the cuteness. He handed the present to Jisung.

Jisung’s mouth fell open, his pacifier falling from it, and Chan made a mental note to buy him a pacifier clip as he got up to wash the one that had fallen. When he got back Jisung was still looking through the first present and Chan could see what it was. Felix had gotten Jisung Finding Nemo bath toys, the type that squirted water if you pressed them, and Jisung was trying to hold all of them at the same time, excitedly talking about ‘fishies’.

Once he was done and Jeongin convinced him to put them back on the little bucket that came with it, Jisung thanked Felix and the boy presented the other options. Jisung pointed at the round package and Felix gave it to him. Once Jeongin opened it and gave it back to Jisung, the boy squealed. He looked around and spotted Chan, excitedly showing him his newly acquired sectioned plastic plate.

“’yungie! Wook! Th-thewe’s wabbit a-and wacoon! A-and mowe an’mals!”

He said, excited, and Chan cooed, walking closer to look at the plate. There was also plastic cutlery and a cup.

“Awn, baby, it does have a rabbit and a raccoon! It’s adorable!”

Jisung squealed and nodded, smiling at Felix.

“Than’ you, ‘ixie ‘yungie!”

He said. Felix beamed at him.

“You’re welcome, angel.” Jisung’s smile widened even more, if that was possible. “And now there’s only one present left.”

Said Felix, pouting. Jisung pouted too. Felix laughed and handed him the present. The pout immediately disappeared from Jisung’s face.

This present was in a bag, so Jisung wouldn’t need to rip it open to get what was inside. He picked up the bag and looked inside, before frowning and pulling a piece of fabric from there. Chan noticed what it was before Jisung did, and he almost chuckled at how spot on Felix’s choice had been without him even knowing.

The second Jisung understood what the present was he gasped. The white overall was adorable, and just like Jisung liked them. He immediately jumped up from the couch, running to Chan and pouting.

“’yungie, Sungie pwease put on? Pwease, pwease, pwease!”

He said, bouncing in place. Chan chuckled and took the overalls from him, offering a hand.

“Come on, baby, let’s put it on so you can show Lix hyung, yeah?”

Jisung excitedly pulled Chan to his room, obviously eager to try it on. Chan let himself be pulled, hearing as Jeongin explained to Felix how much Jisung liked overalls in little space. ‘They make me feel really childish and cute’ Jisung had said to Chan, once, when the older asked about it. Chan thought it was adorable.

Once inside the room, Chan chuckled as Jisung tried and failed to take off his jeans overalls on his own. He stopped the boy and kept him still.

“Baby, you’re too little to do this on your own. Let hyungie help you.”

He said. Jisung pouted, but held Chan’s shoulders as Chan helped him out of his clothes and into the new overalls.

Jisung re-entered the living room with a huge smile on his face, half proud and half shy, and Felix and Jeongin welcomed him with a ton of compliments.

“You look so pretty, Jiji!”

Said Jeongin, making Jisung blush and hide his face in his hands. Felix nodded.

“You’re really adorable, angel.”

He said, and Jisung whined embarrassedly, reaching for Chan and clinging to the older, hiding against the boy’s chest. The smile on his lips, however, showed the other three that the boy was happy with the situation.

Once he managed to pry Jisung away from him, Chan ruffled the boy’s hair.

“Sungie, baby, hyungie is going to make lunch. Can I take your plate?”

Asked Chan. Jisung looked at the plate on the couch, then pouted for a second before picking it up and handing it over.

“’yungie, caweful wif the an’mals, otay?”

Chan smiled.

“Ok, baby boy. Hyungie will be careful.”

Jisung smiled.

Felix watched as Jisung once again became entertained with the board game he had gotten the boy. It was adorable. Jisung excitedly played with the acorns and squirrel squeezers, not really playing the game, just playing with the little pieces. It showed just how active the boy’s imagination and creativity were, and it was endearing to watch.

He didn’t play for long, though, soon looking around and pouting at Jeongin. The maknae laughed and picked up Jisung’s pacifier, giving it to the boy and sitting next to him. Jisung immediately accepted the pacifier and sat down on Jeongin’s lap, soon resuming his play. Felix smiled. He figured he would get better at reading little Jisung as he spent more time with him. For now he was content watching.

After a few more minutes Jisung looked up at Felix and tilted his head. Then he pulled on Jeongin’s shirt and whispered something to him. Jeongin smiled and turned to Felix.

“Lix hyung, Sungie is asking if you want to play with him.”

Felix raised an eyebrow, then smiled.

“Of course. Can I?”

He asked. Jisung nodded eagerly and picked up a squirrel squeezer, handing it to Felix. The boy got up, sitting by the pair on the floor and accepting the item.

“’quiwels ma’ing five paths!” He said excitedly, pointing at the floor. “Wed path bwue path, yewow path, puwple path and gween path.”

He explained. It was a bit hard to understand him, but Felix managed. He looked at the floor and saw Jisung had mixed all of the acorns and sprawled them on the floor, and was now organizing them by colour.

“Ok, what do you say I work on the blue and green paths and you work on the others?”

He asked. Jisung nodded eagerly.

“To the twee!”

He said, and Felix smiled at how endearing the boy was.

They managed to put almost everything in place, despite the fact that Jisung messed the paths up at least three times trying to make them as straight as possible. And then Chan was calling them to eat, and Jisung quickly got up from Jeongin’s lap, holding out his hand. Jeongin got up laughing and took Jisung’s hand. The little glanced at Felix, and then shyly reached for his hand. Felix couldn’t be happier.

They headed to the table and Felix laughed as he spotted a squirrel sippy cup next to Jisung’s plastic plate.

“Who got him that?”

He asked as Jeongin helped Jisung sit down on his chair. Chan chuckled.

“Woojinie.”

He answered. Felix laughed. Jisung whined, grabbing their attention. He patted the chair next to him.

“’ixie ‘yungie sit hewe!” He said. He patted the chair on the other side. “Innie ‘yungie hewe!”

Chan gasped in what Felix recognized as fake hurt.

“Baby, are you exchanging me?”

Jisung’s eyes widened.

“No! No, Sungie wove appa!”

He said, eyes filling with tears, and Felix shouldn’t be so surprised at how sensitive Jisung was in headspace, considering how sensitive he was normally. He took a few more moments to notice Jisung had just called Chan ‘appa’. Chan rushed to the boy.

“Oh, baby, appa knows. Appa was just joking, there’s no need to cry.”

He said, hugging the boy and shushing him. Jisung sniffed, pulling back after calming down a bit.

“S-sungie wan’ed ‘yungie sit w-wif ‘im.”

He said. Felix noticed the boy was back to ‘hyungie’. He would ask Chan about that later. Chan tilted his head.

“With you, angel?” He asked. Jisung nodded, still sniffing. “You want to sit on hyungie’s lap?”

He asked. Jisung nodded again. Felix couldn’t help the smile that took his face. Chan and Jisung’s relationship was already the sweetest thing normally. With Jisung in headspace it was ten times cuter and more precious.

“It’s cute, isn’t it, hyung?” Asked Jeongin, by his side. Felix nodded. “Sungie really loves it when Chan hyung takes care of him.”

He said. Felix watched, smiling, as Chan made Jisung stand up and sat down, pulling the boy to sit on his lap.

“Innie ‘yungie, ‘ixie ‘yungie. Come.”

Demanded Jisung, once he was settled. Felix and Jeongin obeyed, laughing.

After lunch Chan brought out the rest of Jisung’s toys. He poured them on the floor and Jisung immediately went for the crayons, his stuffed fox and stuffed elephant still in his hand. Instead of picking up his colouring book, however, he looked at Chan.

“’yungie, paper?”

He asked. Chan nodded and left, coming back a few seconds later with some blank pages in his hands. He handed them to Jisung, who eagerly accepted, before making sure none of the other boys would go away and settling down belly down on the floor to draw. He placed his four stuffed toys around him, and Felix couldn’t help but to smile. He turned to the leader.

“Can I take a look at his things, hyung?”

Asked Felix. Chan nodded.

“Sure.”

He said, pushing Jisung’s box towards Felix. The boy peeked inside and started taking things out.

The first thing he took out was a pacifier, with squirrels drawn on it. The space one was with Chan, and Felix knew Jisung had another one, one with a fox, but that was probably at Chan’s studio or his bag. Next was a bag of pull-ups, which reminded Felix he had to ask Chan about that.

“So, pull-ups?”

He asked. Chan nodded.

“He has accidents sometimes. Usually when he’s in a younger headspace.”

Felix tilted his head.

“Younger headspace?”

He asked. It was Jeongin who replied.

“Sungie doesn’t always have the same headspace. Normally he’s around three, but he has gone younger and a bit older, once. Sometimes he’s even non-verbal.”

Said the boy. Felix could feel himself smiling. Jisung was adorable as an adult. He was even more adorable as a little. Jisung little enough to be non-verbal? That would mean a Jisung around one year old. Felix wished he could witness that at least once.

“Cute.”

He said, with a chuckle. Jeongin and Chan laughed, and Felix knew they had gone through all of that, too. He looked back into the box.

There were only clothes inside, now. There wasn’t much. A green onesie and the jeans overalls the boy had been wearing earlier, plus rabbit socks. Felix pouted, looking at the other two. Chan chuckled.

“We’re trying to get more things, but it’s hard. We have a few things on our list.”

He explained. Felix nodded and moved to examine the toys on the floor.

Besides the board game he had given Jisung, there were other toys on the floor. A few toy cars and some cans of play-doh. A big box of Lego Duplo, which, Felix could only imagine, would keep Jisung entertained for hours when he played with it. There were also some alphabet blocks and two teething rings, probably for when Jisung was younger. And now the bath toys Felix had gotten him.

“It’s not much…”

He said. Chan sighed.

“It’s hard to buy things for him. He has a lot nowadays.”

Said Chan. Jeongin nodded.

“When I found out he had only his space pacifier, a colouring book, old crayons and toy cars, and the stuffed fox.”

Felix looked at the things on the floor. There definitely was more stuff now. And that without counting his sippy cup and plushies, plus his other pacifiers and the things Felix had just given him. He nodded.

“Then later I’ll…”

He was interrupted by Jisung passing him by and going up to Chan, handing the boy a drawing and running away, giggling. Chan looked at the paper and Felix saw the fondest smile spread on his face. Jeongin peeked at the paper and chuckled.

“Cute.”

He said. Felix raised his eyebrow.

“Can I see, hyung?”

He asked. Chan gave him the paper.
Jisung was good at drawing in adult headspace. That talent carried into little space apparently, but the drawing was far more colourful and had a bit of a childish edge to it. Felix smiled. Jisung had drawn him and Chan sitting together, surrounded by Jisung’s stuffed toys. The two figures representing him and Chan were smiling widely. It was adorable.

“That’s cute.”

He said, handing the drawing back. Chan took it as if it was precious and put it away.

“Jisung is precious.”

He mumbled, and Jeongin and Felix laughed.

They settled on the couch to watch TV. The volume was low, because according to Chan, little Jisung was extra sensitive to noise. Felix remembered the boy saying something like that, indeed. They were starting a new episode in a show when someone pulled on Felix’s pants. The boy looked down, only to have a paper shoved in his face.

Once he managed to actually hold the paper he looked over to Jisung to see the boy covering his face, ears red. He raised an eyebrow and looked at the drawing. He immediately smiled.

In the drawing, Jisung was hugging a figure Felix recognized as himself. It was simple, but Jisung had written something in a speech balloon, and Felix took a while to read it, considering Jisung had written it like a proper child. But he still managed to make out the ‘thank you’ in there. He got up, sitting next to Jisung and pulling the boy into a hug. Jisung melted against him, hugging Felix back.

“You’re welcome, angel.”

He said. Jisung made a noise on the back of his throat and nuzzled Felix neck before pulling away.

“Dwaw wif Sungie?”

He asked. Felix smiled and nodded, taking a piece of paper. A few minutes later Jeongin received a paper with hearts drawn all over it, in all possible colours. Jisung had written ‘I love you’ in there, each word in a different place of the paper, because there wasn’t enough space between the hearts to write it all together. He thanked Jisung with a kiss to the cheek.

Jisung sat back down next to Felix after giving Jeongin his masterpiece and picked another page up. Less than a minute later he was leaning against Felix, sucking on his thumb while he drew messily with the other hand. Felix looked back at Chan, eyes telling the older what he needed to know. Chan nodded, getting up.

“Sungie, baby, come with hyungie so you can brush your teeth.”

He said, nudging Jisung. The boy didn’t complain, wrapping his arms around Chan’s neck and letting himself be picked up. The two disappeared into the bathroom and Jeongin sat down next to Felix, helping him pick up Jisung’s toys and put them away.

Jisung was wearing only his underwear when Chan carried him back into the living room, and he was practically asleep, space pacifier in his mouth. Felix raised an eyebrow. Chan chuckled.

“Pass me his onesie, please.” He asked. Jeongin was the one to do it, handing Chan the little’s green onesie. Chan put Jisung down on the couch. The boy whined, frowning. “Baby, hyungie is right here.”

Chan said, voice soft. Jisung sighed and let the older dress him.

Once he was dressed Chan picked him up again, sitting down on the couch with Jisung hugging him. Jisung whined.

“Fwower.”

He said. Felix immediately got up and picked the boy’s stuffed fox up. He handed it to Jisung, who put the toy next to his face, between him and Chan. He then wrapped his hands around Chan’s neck again, legs resting on each side of Chan’s. Felix could practically see him relaxing, and a few seconds later Jisung was asleep.

Chan caressed the boy’s hair for a while, half watching the TV show they had on and half paying attention to the boy in his arms. Then, once the little was surely asleep, he gestured for Felix to sit by him. Felix obeyed. Carefully, Chan pried Jisung away from him. Felix smiled as he understood.

He put his arm on Jisung’s back and helped Chan move the boy. A few seconds later Jisung was sitting on Felix’s legs, curled up against Felix’s chest with his hand fisted on the boy’s shirt. Chan put the stuffed toy in the boy’s other hand and Jisung sighed contentedly in his sleep. Felix beamed at Chan.

“Cute.”

He whispered. Chan laughed silently and nodded. Felix turned to Jeongin. The maknae was smiling.

“He’s adorable, isn’t he?”

He asked. Felix nodded, hand rubbing Jisung’s back. Jisung was adorable.

Changbin kissed Felix as he arrived.

“So, how was it?”

He asked. Felix smiled. He hadn’t expected the boy to actually ask.

“It was really nice, hyung. Sung is so cute. He drew me a picture, look.”

He said, proudly showing Changbin the drawing Jisung had made for him. Changbin examined it, chuckling.

“What’s that here?”

He asked. Felix looked and laughed.

“That’s ‘thank you’. He has a hard time writing.”

He said. He could see many emotions in Changbin’s eyes at the same time. He had a feeling the boy would soon find out just how cute little Jisung was, but he wasn’t going to push the older.

“That’s cute. What did you guys… I don’t know, do?”

He asked, sitting down on Felix’s bed and pulling his boyfriend to lie with him. Felix lay down and pulled Changbin to lie on his chest.

“Hum, we played a board game, then we ate, then we drew. Then Sungie got sleepy, so he took a nap, and after that we built a castle with Legos.”

He said. Changbin looked up, brow furrowed.

“Lego? Isn’t that… doesn’t Sung put everything in his mouth?”

He asked. Felix chuckled.

“He usually has his paci to avoid that, but he wouldn’t be able to build normal Legos anyway. He has a set of Lego Duplo.”

He explained. Changbin hummed. Felix could see the engines turning in his head. He let the boy be. Changbin needed time to assimilate new things.

“It sounds like fun.”

He ended up saying. Felix hummed, nodding.

“It was fun.”

They stayed silent for a second, enjoying each other. The door to the room opened and Jisung entered. He raised an eyebrow at the couple, then his eyes travelled to the drawing Felix had left in his bedside table and his cheeks reddened.

“Lix…”

He whined, pouting. Felix followed his gaze and chuckled, reaching over Changbin and folding the drawing, putting it on a drawer.

“Sorry, Sungie.”

He said. Jisung’s pout deepened.

“You showed Binnie hyung.”

He complained. Felix pouted back.

“He already knew.”

He said. Jisung crossed his arms. Changbin, who was watching silently, chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Sung. I think it’s cute.”

Jisung glared.

“I hate you.”

He said, but there was no bite to it. He walked to Felix’s closet, retrieving a hoodie Felix recognized as belonging to the boy.

“Love you, too, Sung.” He said as the boy left. He got a fond eye-roll and snuggled back against Changbin. “Should we sleep?”

He asked. Changbin hummed and looked up, kissing Felix.

“Maybe in a while.”

He said.

Chapter Text

Changbin watched as Jisung fidgeted in his chair, playing with and chewing on his pencil more than writing anything down, and he knew something was going on.

He had been watching the boy lately, curious to learn more about how that whole regression thing worked, but too shy to ask the others to tell him about it. He got bits and pieces from Felix. A drawing Jisung had made, a sculpture they had built together, a play-doh animal they had made. Changbin just didn’t want to admit he found all of that quite adorable.

When Jisung first told him and Felix about this thing, Changbin had been a bit freaked out. He didn’t mind Jisung doing it, especially if it was good for his health, but he was in no way ready to see one of his best friends acting like a toddler and being looked after like one. Now, after hearing from Felix the things they did and searching a few things up, Changbin was beginning to think maybe, just maybe, this whole thing wasn’t really that weird. Maybe he even… he shook his head, pushing that thought away. He looked back at Jisung.

Something that came from watching so much, was learning a few things about Jisung’s behaviour. More than once he had seen one of the boys who knew about the boy’s regression take note of a few things and pull Jisung away, only coming back much later. Jisung always looked extra rested and calm after that. So Changbin had learned a few of the signs that pointed towards Jisung slipping. And he was showcasing quite some of those at the moment.

The chewing was a strong sign. Ever since Chan got Jisung his pacifier the younger had stopped chewing on things, only doing so when he was extremely nervous in a situation he couldn’t use his pacifier. It wasn’t the case at the moment, and Changbin knew the boy’s pacifier was in his backpack, so he was not using it because he didn’t want to. So that was a definite sign. Then there was the fact that Jisung looked a bit dazed. His eyes were unfocused, and he hadn’t written anything in quite some time. Not to mention the way he seemed to have trouble writing things down when he did try to. And then there was the fact that Jisung was constantly glancing at Chan’s empty chair.

Chan had left early in the morning to solve a family problem. It wasn’t anything big, but it was big enough for JYP to allow him to fly back to Australia for two days. This meant Changbin and Jisung were left to work on new songs, so that they actually had a good enough amount of songs to show JYP in a few days to ask for a comeback. Ever since the leader stepped into the car that would take him to the airport Changbin noticed Jisung’s uneasiness, and the fact that he kept searching for Chan despite knowing the older wasn’t there just confirmed his suspicions.

He watched the younger boy for a few more moments. Then he sighed and put his headphones down.

“Sung.”

He called. Jisung looked at him, eyes wide and a bit scared. Definitely slipping.

“Yes, hyung?”

He asked, voice small. Changbin took a deep breath.

“Do you… do you want to regress?”

Jisung’s eyes widened even more, and he seemed to finally take notice of the way he was chewing on his pencil, putting it down. His cheeks reddened.

“W-what…?”

He started. Changbin wished he was better at handling people, he really did.

“I just… I noticed you were… I can take care of you.”

He said. He knew he wasn’t making much sense, but he was pretty sure Jisung would understand it. The younger boy looked down, cheeks and ears still red.

“You don’t have to, hyung. I-I can… it’s not… I can control it. U-until Lix or Wooj hyung or Innie can b-be with me.”

He stuttered, and Changbin could see, clear as day, that Jisung’s words didn’t match his feelings.

“But I want to… I… I want to try.”

He said. This made Jisung look at him.

“I thought you didn’t…”

He trailed off, and this time it was Changbin who blushed, shrugging.

“I changed my mind.”

Jisung seemed a bit wary.

“Hyung, y-you really don’t…”

Changbin interrupted him by opening one of the drawers on the table, knowing it was where Chan kept Jisung’s stuff. He picked up the pacifier in there and handed it to Jisung.

“You can trust me. Promise.”

He said. Jisung looked at the pacifier, seeming immensely tempted.

“Just… if you get uncomfortable at any moment you can tell me. Tell me to be big and I will.”

He said. Changbin nodded. Jisung took the pacifier.

As the boy put it in his mouth, Changbin tried to remember the things he had read and the things Felix told him. He stood up, taking Jisung’s hand and pulling the boy to the couch, where he would be more comfortable. Jisung didn’t seem too relaxed. Changbin made him sit down, then kneeled in front of him.

“Sungie, hyung is going to take your shoes off, ok?”

He asked, and it was awkward, and he was blushing, and Jisung was blushing, but Changbin knew they could make this work.

“Ok, hyung.”

Said the younger, and Changbin took off his shoes. He then reopened Chan’s drawer and after thinking for a second he picked up and hid the stuffed kitten he found there behind his back. He smiled at Jisung.

“Hey, guess who told me they were looking for you.”

He said. Jisung squirmed, and Changbin could practically see him slipping.

“Looking for Sung- me?”

He asked. Changbin nodded, way too enthusiastic, but he was slowly getting less shy about this. Jisung’s eyes were slightly wide, and it was obvious he was still fighting his headspace a bit, but slowly letting go.

“Uhum. It’s someone really special, and they can’t wait to give you lots and lots of kisses on those cute cheeks.”

Jisung’s eyes widened more, a smile threatening to break on his face.

“Who, hyungie?” He asked, always bouncing in place. Changbin walked closer and pulled the kitten out as if he was a magician. Jisung squealed. Changbin was startled, but he couldn’t help but to think it was actually adorable. “Woo!”

He said, reaching for the kitten. Changbin smiled, shaking his head.

“Nu-uh, before you can hug him he wants to do this.”

He said, and started making kissing sounds and he moved the toy all over Jisung. He hadn’t expected the high-pitched squeal and giggle that left the boy’s mouth, but it was admittedly adorable to hear. Jisung’s nose was scrunched up and he laughed, eyes disappearing and teeth showing adorably as he covered himself from the ‘attack’. His pacifier fell from his mouth at some point, and Changbin picked it up, continuing to attack the boy.

“Hyungie, stop!”

He pleaded, still laughing, and Changbin made the kitten pretend kiss him three more times before stopping. Once he did, Jisung sat up and made grabby hands, and once Changbin handed the toy to him Jisung pulled it close to his chest, rubbing his face against it like a proper kitten. Changbin chuckled, finding it adorable. He regretted, now, not trying to accept this earlier. The little part of his brain that had been bothering him since he started looking more into it shouted at him. Changbin forced it to shut up.

“What do you want to do now, Sungie? Maybe you, Woo and I can play for a bit.”

He said. Jisung hummed, frowning and scrunching up his nose, and Changbin snorted as he recognized that as an adorable copy of Chan’s face when the older was deep in thought.

“C-can ‘yung tell Sungie a stowie?”

The boy asked, almost shyly. Changbin was surprised at the request.

“A storie? Sure, buddy, what kind of story?”

Jisung’s eyes lit up.

“One with pwincesses! A-and dwagons! And pwincesses that talk to dwagons!”

Changbin almost laughed at the request. Of course Jisung wouldn’t want to listen to The Three Little Pigs.

“Ok, so let’s get comfortable so hyung can tell you the story.”

He said, sitting down on the couch. He looked at Jisung. The boy was biting on his lip, and Changbin immediately reached for his pacifier, giving it to him. Jisung accepted, then shyly sat down next to Changbin, before shuffling closer, until Changbin chuckled and pulled him so Jisung would be lying on his lap, his stuffed kitten pressed against his chest.

“Well, our story starts with a very very pretty princess.”

Started Changbin, and then proceeded to tell Jisung Little Red Riding Hood, making the girl a princess and the wolf a dragon who was actually really nice and friendly.

Changbin was enraptured by little Jisung. The boy’s reactions as Changbin told his story were adorable, and the way Jisung slowly got more and more comfortable on Changbin’s lap made the boy melt. Then, once the story was over, Jisung had decided they needed to act it out, and Changbin had been pulled around the tiny studio as Jisung made the place an enchanted forest, and it was the most fun Changbin had had in a while.

They ran and climbed the couch, then crawled on the floor as if they were in a battlefield, and Changbin knew Jisung had a vivid imagination, but he hadn’t expected it to be this vivid.

And then, after a lot of running and laughing and playing, Jisung sat down by the couch, sucking on his pacifier, and made grabby hands at Changbin. The older sat down next to the boy, and Jisung crawled to his lap, settling between Changbin’s legs and resting his head against Changbin’s chest. Changbin could definitely understand, now, why the others seemed so happy after spending time with little Jisung.

He smiled and pulled Jisung closer, kissing his forehead.

“Sleepy?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“Tiwed.” He mumbled. Changbin smiled, caressing the boy’s hair. Jisung sighed contentedly. “Binnie ‘yung, Woo?”

He said. Changbin took a while to understand, but soon reached back to pick up Jisung’s kitten. The boy smiled and kissed the kitten, then put his hands on Changbin’s face and kissed the older’s cheek. Changbin chuckled and squeezed the boy, making Jisung giggle.

“Want to watch something?” Asked Changbin. Jisung nodded. “What do you want to watch?”

Asked the older, picking up Jisung’s forgotten phone. Jisung perked up.

“Powowo!”

Changbin chuckled. They had definitely gotten Jisung the right cake on his birthday.

“Ok, let me put it on for you.”

He said, putting the show on Jisung’s phone and handing it to the boy. Jisung took a while to figure out how to hold his toy and the phone at the same time, but he managed. Changbin smiled and picked up his own phone, trying to work for a bit while Jisung watched the TV show.

They stayed like that for quite sometime, until Jisung started squirming. At first Changbin ignored it. Then it got more intense, and when Changbin looked at Jisung the boy’s face was red. He raised an eyebrow, taking off his ear buds and Jisung’s too. He paused the boy’s show and Jisung looked up, pouting.

“You ok, Sungie? Do you need anything?”

Jisung looked down at the question, fidgeting with his shirt.

“Uhn… bathwoom.”

He mumbled. Changbin grimaced. He nudged the boy and got up.

“Ok, gimme your paci and you can go.”

He said. Jisung tilted his head. Changbin repeated the gesture. They stared at each other for a while, then Jisung frowned.

“Sungie go awone?”

He asked. Changbin raised an eyebrow. Was he supposed to take Jisung… to the bathroom?

“Uhn… you want hyung to… go? With you?”

He asked. Jisung’s cheeks reddened, but he nodded. Changbin sighed.

“Ok, uhn… alright, give me the paci and Woo.”

Jisung didn’t complain, handing the things to the older. Changbin put the toy and pacifier away and then took Jisung’s hand.

They were lucky enough not to find anyone in the hallways. It wouldn’t be that weird if they were seen holding hands, the trainees and other artists were used to seeing that. But Jisung was practically doing a potty dance next to him, and Changbin was pretty sure that would be at least a bit suspicious.

They got to the bathroom, and Jisung didn’t move away from Changbin, whining instead. Changbin grimaced.

“Uhn, you can go, Sungie.”

He said. Jisung frowned, and then struggled with his pants’ button, then pouted. Changbin sighed. He reached forward and undid Jisung’s button and zipper. To Changbin’s utter relief, as soon as he did that Jisung rushed into one of the cubicles on his own, completely ignoring the urinal. He did leave the door open, but it wasn’t like Changbin had never seen that before. He was used to brushing his teeth while someone peed behind him and someone else showered. He did hold the door closed, because if someone walked in it would be better they catch Changbin holding a door than Jisung peeing with the door open. Probably.

Once he was done, Jisung pulled the door, smiling at Changbin. The older couldn’t help but to laugh, pulling Jisung’s zipper up and buttoning his pants, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“C’mon, let’s wash those hands.”

He said. Jisung skipped to the sink, then looked at Changbin, head tilted. Of course he needed help washing his hands. Changbin moved closer, pulling Jisung’s sleeves up and turning on the water. He helped the boy wet his hands then soap then, and then helped him rinse. Jisung giggled at the bubbles, and then, after Changbin dried his hand, he clung back to Changbin, smiling happily.

“Than’ you, ‘yung.”

He said. Changbin smiled too.

“You’re welcome, Sungie.”

Once back in the studio, Changbin decided he could probably check with one of the others if they were finished. Felix probably wasn’t, since he would be working with Hyunjin and Minho for the day. Woojin had a meeting to go to, since he was the assigned leader in Chan’s absence. And that left Jeongin. Changbin picked up his phone.

Jeongin showed up at the door fifteen minutes later, and Changbin couldn’t help but to laugh at the way Jisung’s eyes shone and he ran to the maknae, hugging Jeongin tightly.

“Hey, little boy.”

Said Jeongin, a huge smile on his face and so much fondness in his voice Changbin could have melted.

“Innie ‘yungie, today sooooo much fun! Binnie ‘yung telled Sungie a stowy! A-and we pwayed dwagon and pwincess! Sungie was pwincess!” Changbin felt warmth fill his heart as he saw how much Jisung had enjoyed their little time together. “And then, and then Binnie ‘yung letted Sungie wa’ch Powowo! And showed Sungie fun music!”

Jeongin laughed as Jisung excitedly described what they had done, pulling Jisung along with him to sit on the couch. Once they reached it, Jisung was still talking about the songs Changbin had shown him. Jeongin sat down and Jisung quickly sat down on his lap, snuggling against Jeongin finishing his little speech with a content sigh.

“Well, it does seem like you had a lot of fun, little boy.”

Jisung nodded, closing his eyes. Changbin had noticed the boy getting sleepy a while after calling Jeongin, but the little had insisted on waiting for the younger, so Changbin had allowed it. Jeongin gave Jisung his pacifier, then his kitten, which was by his side on the couch.

“Binnie ‘yung vewy fun.” The little said said. Then he opened his eyes, expression seeming sad. “Appa?”

He asked. Changbin raised an eyebrow, but Jeongin sighed.

“Appa isn’t here right now, Sungie.”

He said. Changbin took a few moments to put two and two together and notice they were talking about Chan. Jisung pouted.

“Call?”

He asked, and there were unshed tears in his eyes. Jeongin bit on his lip.

“Ok, baby, give hyungie a second.” Jisung smiled sleepily. Jeongin took out his phone, quickly typing and sending a message, presumably to Chan. “Can you tell me about when you were a princess today, Sungie?”

He asked. Changbin noticed he was trying to keep the boy awake. He smiled, happy to just watch the interaction. He knew he would have to talk to Jeongin later – and probably to the others too – about his sudden change of heart. But like this he at least had a bit of time to come up with something plausible.

Jeongin’s phone rang, startling Jisung a bit. Jeongin smiled and picked it up, gesturing for Changbin to come closer. He accepted the video call once Changbin was next to him.

“Hey there, you guys.”

Said Chan, smiling softly. Changbin waved and Jeongin smiled. If Chan was surprised to see Changbin there he didn’t comment.

“Hi, hyung!” He greeted. Jisung whined and Jeongin chuckled. “Someone really wants to see you.”

He said, moving the phone so Jisung could see it. Channie chuckled.

“Oh, is my little boy sleepy?”

Jisung eyes shone.

“Channie ‘yungie!”

He said, smiling with his eyes almost closed. Chan laughed.

“Yes, baby, it’s hyungie.”

Jisung pouted.

“’yungie, Sungie missed you.”

He said. Changbin could see Chan’s heart breaking.

“Hyungie misses you too, baby boy. Hyungie is going to hug you and give you many kisses and cuddles when he sees you again, yeah? Does that sound good?”

Jisung nodded happily.

“Sound good, ‘yungie.” Chan smiled fondly. “’yungie, today Sungie pwayed lots and lots with Binnie ‘yung.”

Jisung said, and he sleepily told Chan half of his day with Changbin, eyes closing more each second, until he fell asleep halfway through the story. Chan laughed softly.

“Don’t let him sleep too much or he’ll be a nightmare at night.”

He said. Jeongin nodded.

“Don’t worry, hyung. How are things there?”

Chan shrugged.

“It’s not too bad. It’ll be solved in a few hours, and tomorrow I’ll fly back.”

Jeongin pouted.

“Awn, we were having so much fun, though.”

Chan snorted, and Jeongin and Changbin laughed.

“Shut up, maknae. I have to go now. Take care of Sungie and yourselves, guys.” Jeongin and Changbin nodded. “And we’ll talk later, Bin.”

Yeah, Changbin had expected that. He nodded. Jeongin turned off the phone.

Chapter Text

Jeongin decided not to confront Changbin until Chan got back, for which Changbin was glad. He had already decided what he would tell them, but he didn’t feel too excited about having this conversation with them. So he was glad.

They arrived at the dorms late at night, with Jisung already out of headspace, but still sleepy. And so Changbin ruffled Jisung’s hair and wished him goodnight, smiling at the faint blush on the boy’s cheeks before going to his own room for the night. Chan would be back on the next day and then they would talk. For now he could rest.

To Changbin’s surprise, Jisung was there two days later, when Chan decided it was time they discuss what had happened and gathered everyone who knew about Jisung in his room. Changbin had expected Jisung to be embarrassed and refuse to participate in the conversation, but there the boy was, sitting next to Chan. Then Changbin noticed the boy’s pout, and came to the conclusion that maybe Jisung wasn’t there because he wanted to. Changbin sat down on his bed.

“Ok, so now that we’re here. Bin, would you like to tell us what happened the other day when I wasn’t here?”

Changbin didn’t know why he was so nervous. He cleared his throat.

“Well… Sung was clearly feeling little and no one was around to help, so I… I offered to take care of him.”

He said. It was the truth. Chan nodded. Woojin and Felix seemed surprised, and Changbin noticed no one had told them about him taking care of Jisung.

“Ok.”

Said Chan. He looked like he was about to say more, but Felix interrupted him.

“Wait, I thought you didn’t want to see Sung in headspace, hyung.”

Said the boy. Changbin shrugged, cheeks reddening slightly.

“I, I didn’t. But the way you talked about it, and the things I found online just…”

Someone interrupted him.

“Wait, you looked things up online, hyung?”

Changbin turned to Jeongin, who was the one who asked that. He nodded, feeling self-conscious, as if the others could read him through those simple words and just know.

“I, uhn, yeah.”

He said. Jeongin tilted his head.

“But why…?”

Started Felix. Chan cleared his throat. Everyone shut up.

“I wasn’t done talking, you guys.” He said, but it was soft. The others mumbled out apologies. “Ok, Bin. So you looked it up and…?”

Changbin sighed.

“And that’s it. I noticed it wasn’t exactly what I thought it was at first. And I thought it might be kind of cute.”

He said, once again feeling the familiar heat on his cheeks. Chan hummed.

“So you thought it would be cute and asked Jisung to regress?”

Asked Woojin. Changbin shook his head.

“No. I mean, yes, kinda, but…”

Changbin looked at Jisung, who had been silent so far. The boy blushed and looked down.

“I was feeling little and acting kinda little, hyung. Binnie hyung said I could regress if I wanted to and he would take care of me.”

He said. Changbin smiled thankfully. Woojin tilted his head, then smiled slightly.

“Awn, Binnie. That was so sweet of you.”

He said, looking at Changbin, and when their eyes met Changbin knew Woojin knew. He looked down blushing.

“I just… knew it would be better for him if he could regress.”

Woojin nodded. By Changbin’s side, Felix squealed startling everyone.

“Hyung, this means you can spend time with us when Jisung regresses! It’s so much fun when there’s more than one person, you’ll see!”

The others couldn’t help but to chuckle at Felix enthusiasm.

“Yah, Lix, I’m not a toy.”

Said Jisung, jokingly. Felix pouted.

“I’m just excited you’ll have more people to play with now. I know you like having more people with you when you regress.”

He said, and Jisung blushed, rolling his eyes.

“Shut up.”

He said, and everyone laughed. Once they all calmed down, Chan spoke up.

“You really can get into this with us, Bin. If Jisung accepts and you want to.”

Changbin looked at Jisung. The boy shrugged, then gave a tiny nod, cheeks red and a small smile fighting to take his lips.

Changbin bit on the inside of his cheek, heart racing. He shouldn’t accept. It would make things a hell of a lot harder for him. But Felix was looking at him with an excited smile, and despite the boy trying to hide, Changbin could see the hopeful look on Jisung’s eyes. He sighed.

“Of course I want to.”

He said. Everyone cheered.

Changbin was watching TV on his own, a while after their conversation, when someone sat by his side. He looked over and saw Jisung. He gave the boy a little smile. Jisung smiled back, before looking down. Changbin knew the boy well enough to know Jisung wanted to say something, so he stayed quiet and waited for the boy to be ready. A few minutes later, Jisung spoke up.

“I never thanked you, hyung.”

He said. Changbin looked over again. Jisung was blushing slightly and looking down.

“Thank me?”

Asked Changbin. The younger nodded.

“For taking care of me the other day. You didn’t have to.”

He said. Changbin raised an eyebrow. He knew Jisung was a sensitive person, and he knew the boy was way more mature than he let show on camera and variety shows. But he sometimes forgot that, fooled by the image of himself Jisung showed the world. He then shook his head.

“There’s no need to thank me, Sung. You needed it and I wanted to help.”

Jisung smiled.

“I thought you would always think I was weird for being like this.”

Admitted the boy, and Changbin immediately shook his head.

“I never thought you were weird! I just… you know I’m slow, Sung. I need time to process things.”

He said, and Jisung laughed, just like Changbin had hoped he would.

“Well, I’m glad you came around. It’s kinda embarrassing, but Lix is right. I like it when there are more people with me when I’m little.”

He said. Changbin chuckled, once again burying his own feelings down.

“Cute.” Jisung glared. Changbin smiled. “I kinda thought you would be satisfied with just Chan hyung.”

Jisung groaned at that, cheeks reddening.

“Why does everyone think that?”

He whined. Changbin chuckled.

“Because you’re basically his kid, Sung. It’s cute.”

Jisung leaned back, shaking his head.

“Whatever.” They were silent for a second, then Jisung pouted. “Maybe I like being with Chan hyung when I’m little. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like having other people with me too.”

He mumbled, and Changbin couldn’t help but to pinch the boy’s cheeks.

“When did you become this cute, Sung?”

Jisung chuckled and shook the boy off.

“Shut up, I’m always cute.”

Changbin laughed with him, and once their laughter died down they simply continued to watch TV, enjoying each other’s company.

The next time Jisung started feeling little it was Changbin who spotted the signs, and he was proud of that. The two of them were walking with Minho and Felix, making use of the need to get groceries to go on a ‘date’, when Changbin noticed Jisung was paying no attention whatsoever to what Minho was saying. Instead, he was playing with his lower lip, one step away from putting his finger in his mouth. Changbin nudged Felix.

“I knew he was acting weird this morning.”

Mumbled Felix, once he spotted the scene. Changbin bit on his lip.

“Should we do something?”

He asked. Felix shook his head.

“Sung is supposed to tell one of us when he feels little. Unless it’s absolutely necessary, we don’t intervene.”

Changbin raised an eyebrow, but accepted it. They continued their way to the little market near their dorm.

Changbin was also the first notice when Jisung stopped walking. He frowned as he noticed the boy had stopped at a stationary store, but as soon as he followed Jisung’s gaze he understood it. A few steps away, Felix and Minho noticed the other two had stopped and stopped as well, frowning. Changbin nudged Jisung. The boy shook his head, as if coming out of a trance, and looked at Changbin.

“Hyung…”

He whined. Changbin cursed.

“Hang in there just a bit, Sung. Can you do that?” Jisung bit on his lip, but nodded. “Good. Then let’s go.”

Thankfully, Jisung followed after him.

Lucky for them, the market wasn’t too full and the shopping list wasn’t too long. Which meant they were quickly done and managed to avoid anything that had animated characters in the package quite well. And soon they were at the line to pay. No one said anything as Changbin excused himself.

They arrived back at the dorm and Felix immediately screamed something about the last ones to touch their head being the ones to put the groceries away. He must have arranged that with Jisung when Changbin was away, because the two were touching their heads before the boy could even finish what he was saying, and then they were running away, and if Changbin didn’t know what was going on he would have complained. As it was, he simply resigned himself to putting away the groceries, laughing as Minho complained about this disrespectful youth.

After he was finished, he was greeted by Chan asking him if he wanted to head to the studio for some writing. Changbin couldn’t help but to smile as he noticed the way Jisung was holding Chan’s hand and had his mask and hoodie covering his face, clearly to hide Jisung’s pacifier.

“Sure, hyung. Let me just get my things.”

He said, internally laughing at the way Minho pouted and complained about Chan stealing his boyfriend, before heading to his own room. Changbin quickly went inside his room as well, and put the little notepad he had bought in a prettier packaging, shoving it inside his backpack and heading back outside. Felix was waiting by the door, where Chan was helping Jisung put on his shoes, and Changbin laughed. Of course the younger was going to tag along. Jeongin and Woojin’s glares showed they had clearly been informed of Jisung’s state and vetoed from the trip. Changbin happily waved them bye as he headed outside with the other three.

To his utter surprise, as soon as they were out of the dorms Jisung took his hand, smiling happily at Changbin, something that was only noticeable from the way his eyes crinkled. Changbin chuckled a bit. Chan snorted.

“Sungie, if you want to hold Binnie’s hand you have to let go of hyungie’s hand.”

He said. Changbin could see the sadness take Jisung’s eyes, and he almost squealed. Felix, by his side, laughed.

“Get used, hyung, he has the most expressive eyes you’ll ever see when he’s little.”

Jisung whined, then sadly let go of Changbin’s hand. Changbin pouted. Felix and Chan laughed.

“Don’t take it personally, Bin. It’s a surprise he willingly went near you, considering he’s only been little around you once.”

Changbin huffed.

“You say that cause you’re his favourite.”

He whined, and he knew the others would think he was joking. They wouldn’t know deep down he really wanted to pout and whine about the situation.

They took longer than normal to arrive at the company, because Jisung made them stop at least three times to look at flowers along the way. It was cute, though, to see Jisung so excited about something as simple as a flower, so Changbin didn’t really mind.

Once they did arrive, they headed to the studio Jisung, Changbin and Chan usually wrote together at, and as soon as they entered Jisung started pulling on his mask and whining. Felix chuckled, taking the boy’s hand and taking him slightly away from Chan to help the boy. He took off Jisung’s mask, revealing a squirrel pacifier Changbin hadn’t seen before. Then he took off Jisung’s shoes, making Jisung hold onto his shoulders while he did it, and then he helped Jisung out of his coat, leaving the boy in a hoodie and sweatpants, as well as socks.

Jisung smiled behind his pacifier.

“Than’ you, ‘yungie.”

He said, hugging Felix, and Changbin shouldn’t be surprised, considering how affectionate Jisung was in general.

“You’re welcome, angel. Now let’s see what Channie hyung brought for you to play, yeah?”

Suggested Felix, and Jisung squealed, running up to Chan who had also made himself comfortable and was taking Jisung’s toys from his bag. Changbin shuffled for a few seconds, then reached into his bag and shoved the notepad he had bought for Jisung towards Felix.

“Here.”

He said, a bit embarrassed. Felix raised an eyebrow.

“For… me?”

He asked. Changbin snorted.

“No, dumbass. It’s the thing Jisung was looking at today when we went shopping.”

Felix looked at Changbin, an entertained smile playing on his lips.

“Wow, you’re already gone for him.” Said the boy. Changbin glared. Felix laughed. “Sungie, look what Binnie hyung got for you, angel!”

He said, moving to sit next to Jisung. Jisung looked up, curious, and Felix handed him the package. The little carefully opened it, then gasped. Then he got up and ran to Changbin, hugging him.

“Than’ you, than’ you, than’ you.”

He said, and Felix was right, Changbin was whipped for little Jisung.

“You’re welcome, Ji.”

He said, ruffling the boy’s hair. Jisung smiled and rushed back, settling down on Chan’s lap. Then he carefully ripped out one page from the notepad, doing a pretty good job, all things considered, and placed it in front of himself. Then, with a bit of a blush in his cheeks, he asked for a crayon, which Chan handed to him. Changbin laughed as Jisung focused so hard on the task of writing something on the paper that his tongue poked out of his mouth.

And then Jisung shyly showed Chan the page. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“Rules? What rules, baby boy?”

He asked. Changbin decided to sit down with them, glancing at the paper and smiling at the messy handwriting. Jisung played with the hem of his hoodie.

“Hum, wules fo’ Sungie.”

He mumbled. Felix and Chan looked at each other, seeming confused. Changbin couldn’t help but to speak up.

“Like a bedtime and things you can and can’t do, Sungie?” He asked. Jisung nodded eagerly. Chan and Felix raised an eyebrow at Changbin, who shrugged, blushing. “I read it online.”

He said. The other two seemed to accept it. Chan put the paper down.

“Ok, Sungie, let’s write down some rules, hum?” Jisung nodded happily. “The first one should be ‘always tell one of your caregivers when you feel little.’. What do you think?”

Suggested Chan. Jisung scrunched up his nose and stuck his tongue out at Chan, but after a stern look he nodded.

“Otay, appa.”

He said. Chan pinched his cheek.

“What about ‘always eat all of your food’?”

Asked Felix. Chan nodded in approval, writing it down.

By the end of it Jisung had ten rules: always telling someone when he felt little, eating all of his food, respecting bedtime and nap time, no keeping secrets, no swearing, no hiding accidents, always asking before eating something outside of meal time, always holding hands when crossing the streets, always keeping his mask on if going outside with his pacifier. The punishment for breaking one of the rules would be corner time. Maximum fifteen minutes. Jisung seemed pretty satisfied with the outcome. He hugged Chan and kissed his cheek.

“Than’ you, appa.”

He said. Chan chuckled.

“You’re welcome, baby. Have you thanked the other hyungs?”

He asked. Jisung smiled at Felix and Changbin.

“Than’ you, Lixie ‘yung, than’ you, Binnie ‘yung.” He said. “Now play?”

And so they played for a long time, and Changbin tried his best not to show how much fun he was having. He glanced at Felix, from time to time, trying to compare his behaviour to the younger’s to make sure him and Chan wouldn’t notice anything.

It helped a bit that Jisung was, according to Chan, in one of his clingier moods. Because this meant Jisung spent the whole time on someone’s lap, no running around and playing pretend involved. They played a squirrel board game and then Chan and Felix stayed on their phones while Changbin drew with Jisung, keeping the boy entertained. Then they played with Jisung’s plushie, and other activities that could be done without moving, until Jisung snuggled against Chan’s chest and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep. Changbin had a feeling Jisung would never break the ‘respect nap time’ rule.

As they waited for Jisung to wake up, Felix and Chan talked about future tracks and what Felix had to work on for their next album. Changbin, between them, looked at Jisung and asked himself what had he gotten himself into.

Chapter Text

It took about two more weeks for something to actually happen, regarding Changbin’s little secret. Changbin knew sooner or later Woojin would confront him. He knew the boy knew, and he knew Woojin wouldn’t just let it pass like that. Especially after taking care of little Jisung with Changbin that one time. So it was no surprise when during one of their dance practice breaks Woojin pulled him aside, telling the others they would be buying snacks for everyone and leaving the room with Changbin’s wrist on his grip.

At first he said nothing. And Changbin didn’t, either, because if it depended on him they would never have that conversation. Unfortunately, as soon as they were out of the company building, Woojin sighed.

“Bin, come on. I know you know I know.” Despite the situation, Changbin couldn’t help but to chuckle a bit at the sentence. Woojin shook his head, smiling. “Want to talk about it?”

He asked. Changbin sighed, looking down.

“Not really.”

He mumbled. Woojin hummed.

“Why not?”

He asked. Changbin looked up, surprised, because that wasn’t the type of question he was expecting. Then he shrugged.

“It’s embarrassing?”

He offered. Woojin raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve taken care of Sungie three times now. Why is it embarrassing?”

Changbin felt an uncomfortable weight settle on his stomach.

“It just… is, hyung. I’m not… supposed to want that.”

He managed to say. Woojin nodded.

“And Jisung is?” Changbin nodded. Then shook his head. Then he glared at Woojin, who chuckled. “Why is it different for him?”

He asked. Changbin hadn’t thought about that before, mainly because he tried not to think of this at all.

“Because it is, hyung.”

He chose to say. Woojin snorted.

“Wrong answer. Try again.”

Changbin pouted.

“Cause Sungie… I don’t know. He’s cute and younger.”

Woojin laughed.

“He’ll be your age next year, and he’ll still be a little. And you’re cute too.”

He said. Changbin groaned.

“Hyung, just drop it.”

He said. Woojin stopped walking, making Changbin stop to. He made Changbin look at him.

“Bin, it isn’t healthy to supress this kind of thing. Now that you know this about yourself you won’t be able to hold back from thinking about it. It’ll make you overanalyse everything you do, and you’ll end up stopping yourself from doing things that are completely normal, because you think they’ll give you away. And that isn’t healthy.”

Changbin searched the older’s eyes, but he knew Woojin was right. He had already started noticing a few of his behaviours and thinking they were weird for someone his age, had already started repressing them. And though it wasn’t much, it did make him feel a bit stressed. He sighed.

“I’ll be a burden. You have to deal with Sungie, already, and I would just…”

Woojin shook his head.

“Nope, stop right there. You would never be a burden, Bin. We can take care of you and Jisungie perfectly well at the same time, and Jisung will have a playmate. C’mon, I saw the way you had fun with him last time, Binnie. You even slipped for a bit. This will be good for you. Can you trust hyung?”

Changbin looked down. The pure want he felt at the moment was overwhelming, but he still didn’t… he couldn’t imagine how he would face the others after going around acting like a little kid around them.

“I’m not sure I can, hyung.”

He said. Woojin sighed.

“And what if you try it only with me? Or with me and little Sungie. Would that help?”

Changbin opened his mouth to say no, but stopped himself. For some reason the idea of being little when Jisung was also in headspace wasn’t so bad. And if only Woojin was there…

“I… would you do that?”

He asked, glancing up. Woojin beamed at him.

“Sure. With Sungie?”

Changbin nodded, somewhat shy. Then he sighed.

“I, let me think about it some more, hyung. Can I?”

Woojin nodded.

“Sure, Binnie. Come to me whenever you have an answer, ok?”

Changbin nodded.

It took him a few days, before he finally decided to give it a shot. The idea still made him feel weird and embarrassed, but if Jisung was also regressed then Changbin wouldn’t be acting like a baby on his own, and that thought comforted him. He noticed, in the back of his mind, that he had it easy. He couldn’t imagine how bad Jisung had felt when he first found out about this.

The younger boy had told him about how he found this out on his own, and how he refused to acknowledge it until he couldn’t handle the amount of stress anymore and let himself be little. He told Changbin about how the others had found out, all of them by accident, and how he had had to explain everything to them – Woojin not included. Changbin had always thought of Jisung as someone strong. Now he admired the boy even more.

When Changbin told Woojin about his decision, the boy beamed at him, and on the next day he made sure everyone who didn’t know about Jisung was out of the dorms before gathering the ones who knew at Chan’s room. Once they were settled, all looking curious, Woojin cleared his throat.

“Guys, Bin has something to tell you.” He said. Changbin blushed, eyes widening as he looked at Woojin. The older snorted. “Want me to talk?”

He asked. Changbin nodded eagerly.

“Is everything ok?”

Asked Jisung, seeming worried.

“Don’t worry, everything is fine.” Reassured Woojin. “But Binnie has been thinking about trying to regress.”

Everyone went silent, and Changbin had never felt so self-conscious and embarrassed.

Felix’s squeal was what broke the silence.

“Hyung, you’re a little?”

He asked, excited. Changbin blushed.

“Uhn, m-maybe? I don’t, I’m not sure.”

Felix was smiling so brightly the sun would be ashamed.

“Are you for real, hyung? You think you’re a little?”

Asked Jeongin, sounding excited. Changbin nodded.

“Maybe.”

He repeated. Jeongin’s smile was as wide as Felix’s, and the two of them were almost bouncing in place.

“Hyung, what…?”

Woojin interrupted Felix.

“Guys, wait a second.” Felix and Jeongin calmed down a bit. Woojin turned to Jisung. “Sung, Binnie wanted to try regressing next time you’re in headspace. Would you be ok with that?”

Changbin felt dread fill his stomach. Jisung was looking at him with eyes wide and mouth slightly open, and Changbin felt as if the boy was about to break down crying. Fuck, maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe…

“B-binnie little like Sungie?”

Came his tiny voice, and Changbin saw the boy’s eyes watering. His eyes widened, and everyone looked as surprised as him to see Jisung in headspace, when he hadn’t been showing any signs of dropping.

“U-uhn…”

Changbin stuttered, looking around in a semi-panic. Jeongin was the first to recover.

“Yes, Jiji, Binnie will be little just like you. Then you can play together! What do you think?”

Changbin noticed the tears falling from Jisung’s eyes weren’t from sadness when the boy started talking and trying to dry his eyes while still crying.

“’appy. S-sungie we-weally ‘appy.”

He said, then gave up on drying his face and threw himself at Chan, hiding against the older’s chest and crying. After one more second of shock everyone melted and cooed at the boy’s adorableness.

“Aigo, little boy. Are you so happy that you’re crying?”

Asked Jeongin. Jisung nodded against Chan’s chest. Everyone laughed.

Woojin nudged Changbin while the others were cooing over Jisung.

“Hey, I know we planned to have you try this next time Sung regressed, but you don’t need to do it now if you’re not ready.”

He said. Changbin looked at him, then bit on his lip.

“C-can I try now? T-the others can stay too…”

He said, Woojin beamed.

Chan and Jeongin kept Jisung entertained while Felix and Woojin left to take care of Changbin.

Felix couldn’t keep himself from smiling, thinking about how cute Changbin would be as a little. He guided the boy to Jisung’s room almost skipping, laughing as Changbin groaned and complained about Felix being way too excited. Felix hoped Changbin really did enjoy being little.

The first thing they did was change Changbin’s clothes, putting him in one of Jisung’s onesies after asking the little for permission. The last thing they wanted was for Jisung to reject Changbin out of jealousy. Changbin blushed through the whole process, but Felix had learned enough about the boy to know Changbin was actually enjoying it.

“Open up, Binnie.”

Felix said, trying to give Changbin Jisung’s fox pacifier, since Jisung had absolutely vetoed the space one. For a second Felix wondered if it was hygienic for the two boys to use the same pacifier, but he soon shrugged it off. It wasn’t like they had any other option at the moment, and Changbin wouldn’t die from putting the same pacifier Jisung used in his mouth.

In the end, however, he didn’t need to worry, because Changbin scrunched up his nose and shook his head. Felix frowned.

“You don’t want it?”

Changbin crossed his arm and shook his head. Felix looked at Woojin, one eyebrow raised.

“He probably has an older little age. I think he’s in headspace already, though.”

He said, and Felix couldn’t contain an excited smile, turning back to Changbin and deciding Woojin was right from the way Changbin was playing with his fingers. He beamed at Changbin.

“Binnie, want to go out to play with Sungie?”

He asked. That seemed to do the trick, giving Changbin the last push he needed to fall into headspace. Changbin smiled widely.

“Yes! C’mon, hyungie, let’s go, let’s go!”

He said, grabbing Felix’s hand and dragging the boy out of the room. Felix and Woojin laughed and followed the boy outside. They couldn’t wait to see the two littles interacting.

It soon became clear that Changbin was older than Jisung. And immensely different.

The first thing Changbin did upon spotting Jisung was to let go of Felix’s hand and rush towards the boy on Jeongin’s lap. Except as soon as Jisung saw Changbin running towards him he squealed and hid against Jeongin’s chest, clearly scared. Changbin stopped in his tracks, mouth becoming a pout. Chan was the first to react, laughing.

“You have to take things slow, Binnie baby, Sungie is really young and gets scared easily.”

He explained, and Felix cooed internally at the nickname Chan had given the boy. Changbin’s eyes filled with understanding and he nodded solemnly. Then he kneeled down next to Jeongin and poked Jisung’s cheek.

“Sungie? Binnie is sorry he scared you.”

He said. Jisung just whined. Changbin looked at Jeongin and pouted.

“Binnie apologized, Innie hyung.”

He whined. Jeongin laughed.

“Why don’t you play with Felix hyung for a little bit while I talk to him, Binnie?”

Changbin’s pout deepened, but he moved to sit on the floor next to Felix with a sigh. Felix, not wanting to see the boy pouting, immediately picked up Jisung’s farm set, which was on the floor next to them. He pulled it closer.

“Hey, Binnie, look at this! Let me tell you a secret: inside this box there are lots and lots of animals.”

Changbin’s pout disappeared in a second, and Felix smiled proudly.

“Let me see, let me see!”

Pleaded the little, pulling the set closer to himself and opening it, squealing as he saw the bucket of animals. He quickly turned it over, sending the animals all over the floor, and no one managed to hold in their laughter. Different. Jisung and Changbin were so, so different.

“Do you see this, Binnie? You have to build the fences so you have a place to keep your horses and cows.”

Said Woojin, also sitting down next to Changbin. The little solemnly nodded, picking up one of the fences and starting his work of building it up.

They didn’t play for long before Chan and Jeongin finally managed to get Jisung out of his shell. Felix noticed the little eyeing them with interest and smiled.

“Binnie, look who decided to show up.”

He stage-whispered to Changbin. The boy looked back and beamed at Jisung. Jisung smiled back shyly.

“Ask him if he wants to play, love.”

Said Woojin. Changbin made space between himself and Woojin.

“Sungie, you want to play?”

He asked. Jisung looked up at Jeongin, then at Chan. Both boys gestured towards Changbin. Jisung nodded, crawling out of Jeongin’s lap before changing his mind and pulling on Jeongin’s hand, meaning he wanted the younger to go with him. Jeongin laughed and obeyed, and soon they were all sitting around Changbin’s farm, looking at the boy work.

It was endearing. Changbin made sure to show Jisung all the pieces he picked up and how he put them on the farm, and Jisung helped the boy move the animals around, giggling and making animal sounds, which had Changbin giggling as well.

Lunch-time was a challenge. Jisung couldn’t eat on his own when in headspace, needed someone to feed him. And Changbin, the others found out, was a very helpful person when little. And that’s how he ended up sitting next to Jisung, feeding the boy his lunch. Which did not go well.

The first problem was that Changbin shoved as much food in his mouth as physically possible, just so he could be ready when Jisung finished chewing what he had on his mouth and asked for more. This meant Changbin ended up looking like a squirrel saving up food while he looked at Jisung expectantly, a spoon already ready to feed the boy. And this made Jisung giggle, because Changbin did actually look hilarious. And the overall result of this was food everywhere.

“They’re going to need a bath.”

Said Woojin, chuckling. The others around the table groaned, but no one had the heart to tell the two boys to stop, because the scene was just too adorable.

“We’ll need to add rules to Sungie’s list. Mealtime rules.”

Said Chan. Everyone agreed.

As it was, as soon as they were finished Jeongin and Woojin volunteered to wash the dishes, leaving to Chan and Felix the task of washing the two littles. Felix looked at Chan. This would be a mess.

Chapter Text

Felix and Chan took the two littles into the bathroom, and Felix couldn’t help but to internally coo at the way Changbin held Jisung’s hand, taking care of the boy. Jisung seemed happy enough to let the older do that, smiling softly and giggling when he looked at his and Changbin’s hands.

“They’re adorable, hum?”

Said Chan, and Felix noticed the older was smiling too. He chuckled.

“I wanna squish them to death. Sungie is going to tease Binnie about this when they’re out of headspace, though.”

He said. Chan chuckled.

“I don’t think he would, Bin has too much material to tease Sungie back with.”

He said, and Felix figured it made sense. And then they arrived at the bathroom and turned on the water to fill the bathtub, and the mess began.

Felix envied Chan a bit as he watched the older undress Jisung. The younger cooperated and giggled when Chan pretended he couldn’t pull the boy’s hoodie over his head, and squealed when Chan did pull it off, kissing Chan’s cheek as if to say thanks. Felix, on the other hand, was stuck helping Changbin, who had insisted he could undress on his own and had proceeded to actually get stuck in his clothes, fighting against them for a while before pouting and asking for Felix’s help. The smile the boy gave him once he was free, however, made up for it.

And then into the halfway-filled bathtub they went, facing each other, and when Chan put in the toys, Changbin and Jisung squealed together, reaching for them and drenching Chan and Felix in a few seconds. Felix looked at the older. Chan snorted.

“Next time,” he said, “we’ll do this in swimming trunks.”

Felix could only laugh.

They let the boys play for a while, and then Felix managed to convince Changbin to wash his hair, with the simple sentence ‘hum, I wish there was a big boy around here, who could wash his hair on his own.’ He was starting to notice the key to everything with little Changbin was to fool him into thinking whatever you wanted him to do was his own idea.

And then washing Jisung had been easy enough, because, as Felix had already noticed many times, Jisung was an angel when in headspace, and all you needed to do to get him to do things was ask.

Once they were done, after a little discussion that involved Changbin being threatened with the naughty corner if he didn’t get out of the bathtub and Jisung crying because that was mean, Felix and Chan noticed the state of the bathroom.

“Oh god.”

Mumbled Felix. Chan snorted.

“What do you say we get those two to clean up since they didn’t help with bath time?”

He said. Felix smiled widely. He knew he loved Chan for a reason.

Felix could only laugh as he watched Changbin once again struggling with his clothes. He had managed to put on his underwear just fine, ok, but he was currently trying to put his head through the arm hole of his sweater, and it was actually a hilarious sight. Felix glanced at Chan, who was putting a diaper on Jisung while the boy sleepily played with his stuffed fox. He tilted his head.

“Does he need it?”

He asked. Chan looked up, frowning, then smiled when he understood the question.

“Sungie? Only sometimes. When he slips into a younger headspace. I think it’s the case today, since he has barely spoken, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

The older explained. Felix nodded. He looked at Jisung, who was practically asleep, and smiled, because the boy was too precious.

“He’s adorable.”

He said, laughing. Chan smiled, finishing getting the boy ready and getting his onesie.

“He is, isn’t he? I wish he would tell the others.”

He said. Felix sighed. Hiding from the others was really a problem, both because they had to work around everyone’s schedules and because it felt wrong hiding something so big from their best friends.

“Maybe one day he will, hyung.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“Maybe.” Then he looked past Felix and snorted. “I think you might want to help the little pest, Lix.”

He said. Felix followed his gaze and snorted, seeing Changbin with his head and arm both through the same hole.

“Why, Gods?”

He said, then walked over to help the boy.

Changbin incredibly active in headspace, is what they all found out.

After their bath, Chan had stayed back in the room to read Jisung to sleep, and Felix had headed to the living room with Changbin. The boy had immediately run to the farm they had been building earlier. Instead of sitting down to play, however, Changbin seemed to decide that the animals could better used as race cars.

Currently, Woojin and Jeongin were laughing at Felix, who was running from one side to the other of the room along with Changbin, racing in their pigs, because ‘no, horses are not supposed to race!’

“Binnie, you’re too good at racing for me to keep up, can we have a rest?”

Felix asked, out of breath. Changbin was panting, too, but he pouted.

“But I’m winning.”

He whined with pout. Jeongin snorted. Felix glared at the maknae, who just sent him a cute smile.

“Well, I think you’ve already won completely. Why don’t we play something else?”

He suggested. Changbin crossed his arms.

“Like what?”

He asked, with a petulant lilt to his voice. Felix looked at him sternly.

“Hey, don’t use that tone with me.”

He warned. Changbin looked down, pouting.

“Sorry.”

He mumbled. Felix pulled him into a hug.

“Apology accepted. Just don’t do it again, alright?”

Changbin nodded. Then he fidgeted with the toy pig which was still in his hands.

“We could… draw?”

He suggested. Felix smiled.

“That’s a great idea, Binnie! Come on, we’ll make the best drawings ever.”

When Chan entered the living room, carrying a sleepy Jisung, Changbin had drawn at least ten different drawings. Each time he finished he beamed at his own drawing and got up, running to Woojin, then Jeongin and then back to Felix to show his masterpiece. Obviously they showered him with praise each time, just to see the proud smile on his face. Not that his drawings were the best. Adult Changbin was bad at drawing, and little Changbin was even worse. But he was proud of his work, and that was what mattered.

He was also very proud of being able to write his own name at the bottom of his drawings, the little scrawled ‘BINNIE’ always accompanied by a smiley face. He always made sure to point that out when he showed off his drawings.

“I wrote it myself!”

He said, with the biggest smile on his face.

He was finishing a drawing when Chan sat down on the couch, Jisung clinging to him and holding his toy fox in the other hand. Changbin glanced up to look at them and quickly went back to his drawing, painting something before getting up and running to Chan.

“Hyungie! Sungie! Look what I made!”

Everyone cringed at the boy’s loud voice. Jisung, who had been slowly closing his eyes, jumped up, startled, eyes widening. His lower lip began to quiver. Felix panicked. Had it been him holding Jisung this would have been a complete disaster. Chan, however, simply hugged Jisung tighter, petting his hair.

“Shh, it’s ok, Jiji. You were startled, right? It’s ok, baby. Binnie is just excited he won’t do it again.” Jisung was still gripping Chan like his life depended on it, but he didn’t seem about to cry anymore. Chan looked at Changbin and patted the sofa. “Sit here, Binnie. Come show us your drawing. But remember that you have to be very careful with Sungie, ok? He’s really really little right now. So we have to speak very quietly. Can you do that?”

He asked. Changbin quickly nodded, sitting on the sofa so carefully it was actually funny to watch. Felix saw Chan trying to hold back a chuckle, still rocking Jisung slightly.

“Sungie, do you want to see Binnie’s drawing?”

Changbin asked, quietly. Jisung looked at the boy, but said nothing.

“Show him, Binnie. He won’t reply.”

Said Chan. Changbin nodded and slowly picked up his drawing, showing it to Jisung.

“Look, Sungie, this it Binnie hyung. And, and this is Spiderman. But Spiderman is Lixie hyung, and Lixie hyung is spider man.”

Explained Changbin, smiling. Felix could see Chan raising an eyebrow. He snorted.

“Don’t even try, hyung, it’s useless.”

He said, knowing that Changbin’s drawing probably looked nothing like him and Spiderman Felix. Chan chuckled.

“That’s very pretty, Binnie. Did you draw it on your own?”

He asked. Changbin nodded excitedly.

“Look, hyung! I wrote my name!”

He said. Chan chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair. Jisung looked at Chan and giggled, then reached out to pat Changbin’s hair too. Felix had to keep himself from squealing at the adorableness. Changbin beamed.

"That's amazing, Binnie baby."

He said, Changbin smiled even wider, then turned to Jisung.

“Sungie, do you want to draw with Binnie?”

He asked. Chan laughed.

“Binnie, Sungie is too little to draw now. Why don’t you draw something for him, instead?”

Changbin lit up like a Christmas tree.

Felix was lying in bed, later that night, when someone nudged him. He looked up and smiled, making space for Changbin. The boy slid in next to him and put his arms around Felix, hiding against the younger’s chest. Felix chuckled.

“Well, someone is cuddly.” He said. Changbin whined. “Come on, what’s bothering you?”

He asked, because he knew his boyfriend. Changbin looked up.

“Did… how was today?”

The boy asked, voice barely a whisper. Felix couldn’t help but to laugh at the contrast between this and Changbin in headspace.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you this, hyung?” He asked. Changbin shrugged. “It was amazing. I had a lot of fun.”

Changbin hummed, then smiled slightly.

“I had fun too.”

He said. Felix smiled and ruffled his hair.

“I’m glad, hyung. You were adorable.”

Changbin chuckled.

“I was loud.”

He said. Felix snorted.

“I’m not going to deny that. But you were amazing at taking are of Jisungie.”

He said. Changbin blushed.

“Shut up.”

Felix laughed.

“What? It was cute! You even insisted on feeding him, hyung.”

Changbin whined and hit Felix playfully.

“Please don’t remind me.”

He said, but he was laughing. Felix pulled him closer with a smile.

“Ok, hyung, ok.”

He said. Changbin snuggled closer.

“I love you, Lix.”

Felix felt his heart warming up.

“I love you too, hyung.”

Chapter Text

Overall, Changbin being a little too did wonders to Jisung’s self esteem.

They had had a talk after the boys were both out of headspace on that first time, and Changbin had hesitantly admitted that yes, he enjoyed being little. Jisung had felt a million emotions at the same time as the statement left the older boy, but happiness had been the biggest one.

He was a bit embarrassed, because little Changbin was much older than him, and because apparently the boy pushed him deeper into headspace. But the fact that he now had someone else like him made him feel a lot safer and calmer about being a little. Jisung didn’t even notice when he stopped hesitating so much before going to someone to tell them he felt little. He barely noticed how much more relaxed he felt about allowing the others to notice him slipping. It felt good, felt freeing, and Jisung could tell the others were happy too, because Jisung was finally communicating.

So everyone was glad about this development. And no one noticed Jisung still wasn’t fully accepting of himself.

Jisung should tell Chan and he knew that. The moment he woke up and felt his eyes watering because he didn’t have his stuffed fox with him he should have told the leader. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew they had an agreement, and he had been getting better at telling someone when he felt little, and had been keeping his promise of doing so. But he had been little only two days earlier, and Changbin hadn’t felt little in two weeks. Jisung hadn’t noticed how embarrassed he felt about needing to slip more often than the older until that very moment.

But he did. He felt extremely embarrassed. So instead of telling Chan, Jisung got up by himself and started getting ready for the day, knowing that if he let Chan help him change like he usually did he would slip, and if he didn’t the older would know.

He got dressed and headed to the kitchen to eat, and if he was being honest he would admit that even picking up the cereal box and pouring himself some felt like an impossibly hard task for him at the moment. But he wasn’t being honest. He poured the cereal and the milk, ignoring the bit of milk that spilled out of the bowl, and then got a spoon and stared at the food. He sighed angrily as thoughts of one of the others entering the room and feeding him flooded his mind, then grabbed the spoon and started eating.

By the time he was done, the others were already up and going around, and Jisung was even more on edge than he had been upon waking up. The dorm was filled with noise, now, and every slightly louder noise startled him and made him want to cry, and he knew, he really knew, that he should just stop being stubborn and tell Chan, goddamnit. But he didn’t. He put his plate on the sink, knowing there was no chance he was washing that at the moment, and went back to his room, taking out his phone and trying to distract himself with boring news’ articles.

It didn’t work much, but at least it kept him from slipping further, and soon everyone was ready to go to the company and started leaving. Jisung waited for Minho, then approached his boyfriend, smiling and letting Minho kiss him.

“Hey, there. Feeling cute today, are we?”

Asked the older, probably meaning the way Jisung had whined when they parted. Jisung’s mind immediately clung to the word cute, and he had to fight to keep the smile on his face.

“Shut up, hyung. Let’s go?”

He said. All he wanted was to leave soon, so he could avoid Chan for as long as possible.

“Sure, c’mon.”

Said the older, holding Jisung’s hand. Jisung mentally shushed his little side and let himself be pulled away.

Practicing made things easier for Jisung. He could focus on dancing and the song, and it helped him avoid thinking about things that would make him slip. So for the first half of the day he was fine, perfectly fine. Until Chan called a break so they could eat, and the group divided itself into smaller groups to find something to eat. Once they were done, they started slowly filtering back into the practice room, and that’s when the problem started.

As they waited for everyone to come back in, they played around and talked and laughed like always. Jisung knew he looked a bit suspicious just sitting on the couch, curled up, watching the others, but it was what he felt would give him less trouble at the moment. But of course, a quiet Jisung wouldn’t go unnoticed by the others. Soon, Seungmin was pulling him up, dragging him to join them.

“C’mon, you look like you’re about to fall asleep, Sungie, cheer up a little.”

The nickname had Jisung almost slipping right then and there, but he caught himself and let Seungmin drag him to where the others were laughing at something Minho had done. Almost all of them were there, save for Jeongin and Felix, and Jisung saw Chan looking at him with worried eyes. He looked away.

“We need to practice it, c’mon.”

Said Hyunjin, and frowned as if he was focusing, before doing three different sets of aegyo. Everyone burst out laughing, including Hyunjin, and Jisung followed the lead.

“What are you preparing for, Jinnie?”

He asked, trying to get his mind to focus on the present moment. He ignored the way his words were slightly slurred. Hyunjin smiled.

“We’ll be on that News Ade program, remember? They’ll ask us to do something like this, probably.”

He said. Jisung nodded, smiling as he remembered the other time they had gone there and the games they had played. It had been fun. They had… he shook his head, stopping his mind from wandering.

“Well, I don’t need to prepare.”

Said Changbin, making one of his cute faces afterwards as if to show how well prepared he was. Everyone laughed again, and Seungmin shoved Changbin, who shoved him back, and soon they were rolling on the ground, laughing as they played.

“Jisungie, what will you show?”

Jisung looked up at Hyunjin, who had asked. He bit on his lip, before making a half-hearted attempt at doing aegyo. And no one reacted. They all went silent. Jisung was used to it, really, they had taken to doing that whenever Jisung did something, before saying he was no fun and skipping his turn. Of course, it was all play and they meant no harm. Jisung still hadn’t found the way to tell them that he didn’t mind them doing it a little bit, but that it hurt him when they did that all the time.

In his current sensitive state, he felt his eyes watering.

“Yah, stop doing that!”

He said, and it was obviously different from the other times he said that, and Jisung knew Chan and Woojin noticed, from the alert looks on their faces, but the others just laughed it off as usual.

“Jisungie, you’re no fun, you have to work on that!”

Said Hyunjin, giggling. Jisung glared at him.

“Guys…”

Started Woojin, but he was interrupted by Changbin.

“Sungie, leave being cute to the people who know how to do it.”

He said, putting one finger to his cheek and getting claps from Seungmin, Minho, and Hyunjin.

“I’m cute!”

Jisung said, before he could stop himself.

“No, Sungie, you’re not.”

Said Seungmin, still laughing, and they continued to tease him, despite Chan telling them to stop, and then Jisung couldn’t take it anymore.

“I said stop!”

He screamed, tears finally falling down his cheeks. Everyone stopped, looking at him with wide eyes, and Jisung crouched down, hiding his face in his arms and crying.

“What…?”

He heard Hyunjin start, but Woojin shushed him. Then there was someone by Jisung’s side, a hand on his shoulder, and Jisung flinched away. The person didn’t let go, pulling his arm.

“Jisungie…”

Came Chan’s voice, and as soon as Jisung noticed it was Chan pulling him he put his arms down, throwing himself at the older and crying on Chan’s chest. Chan said nothing. He sat down on the floor and pulled Jisung into his lap, letting Jisung cry as he rubbed the younger’s back.

Jisung felt, a few seconds later, something nudge his lips, and he was too tired to fight, so he just let Chan slip the pacifier into his mouth, relaxing a bit at the familiar weight on his tongue. After a while, Chan pulled back, pushing Jisung’s hair out of his face softly.

“Are you feeling better?”

The leader asked. Jisung shook his head.

“Appa.”

He said, pulling himself back against Chan. The older let him.

Chan ignored the way Minho, Seungmin and Hyunjin were staring at him and Jisung. He cursed himself mentally. He had noticed Jisung acting little, but after their many conversations about Jisung going to him when feeling little, Chan figured he would give the boy time and let him come to Chan on his own. Jisung had done it before. He was actually getting pretty good at asking for that, Changbin’s new status as little helping him overcome most of his shyness. Apparently, though, not enough.

Chan should have expected Jisung to avoid going to him today. He should have known, despite the fact that Jisung had gotten much better at accepting his little side, despite how much progress they had made, that the boy would be embarrassed about going to Chan again so soon after being little. It had only been two days. Changbin hadn’t dropped in way longer. Jisung wouldn’t ask so soon.

He sighed, glancing at the others again. He knew they would now have to come clean about Jisung’s little side, but they could deal with that later. For now he was focused on calming Jisung down. The boy had stopped crying, but he was still clinging to Chan for dear life and sniffling.

“Hey, we…”

Felix and Jeongin stopped on their tracks once they noticed the scene, and Jisung pulled himself even closer to Chan. His pacifier was pressing against Chan’s collarbone, and it hurt, but there was no way Chan was going to force the boy to let go when Jisung was this sensitive.

“Chan hyung…”

Called Jeongin, and Chan met the boy’s questioning gaze. He sighed.

“Can you go get his plushie?”

He asked. Jeongin left the room without questioning it.

He was back less than five minutes later, Jisung’s elephant plushie in his hands. He sat down next to Chan.

“Sungie, hey. Look who’s here to see you.”

Jisung looked up slightly at that, whining and looking at Jeongin, who gave him the toy. As soon as he had the elephant in his hands he once again buried his face against Chan’s neck. Chan sighed.

“Sungie, baby, can you come out?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head. Chan looked around. Felix and Changbin were watching with worried eyes. Woojin had a sad expression on his face. Minho and Seungmin were absolutely lost. Hyunjin looked conflicted, but Chan didn’t have the time to figure out why, at the moment.

“Guys, can you leave?”

He asked. Minho opened his mouth to complain, but the look Chan sent him made it clear that he might have phrased it as a question, but they didn’t actually have a choice. Slowly, Woojin got everyone out, telling Chan they would be at the dorms. Jeongin was about to follow, but Chan stopped him, asking him to stay.

As soon as it was only the three of them in the room, Chan managed to pull Jisung away from him slightly.

“Baby, it’s just us now. Can you come out?”

Slowly, Jisung let himself be pulled away, settling down more comfortably on Chan’s lap. He sat in the centre of Chan’s crossed legs, his side resting against Chan’s torso and the side of his head on the older’s chest. He was clutching his elephant tightly, holding it against his chest, and his eyes were red, though they were dry.

“Hey, little boy.”

Said Jeongin, smiling softly. Jisung sniffed and pointed at Jeongin with his nose. The maknae moved closer, pressing a kiss to Jisung’s forehead. This made the little stop frowning, at least. Jisung closed his eyes with a sigh. Chan looked at Jeongin. ‘What do we do?’ the leader’s eyes asked. Jeongin shrugged. Chan looked down at Jisung, who would probably be asleep really soon.

“We can let him nap on your studio, hyung. He seems pretty tired.”

Suggested the maknae. Chan nodded.

“Ok, help me move him.”

He said. Jeongin held Jisung as Chan got up, and Jisung’s little disgruntled whines as he felt Chan getting away from him broke their hearts, but soon Chan picked the boy up once more and Jisung calmed down again.

“Do you want to come with?”

Chan asked the maknae. Jeongin nodded.

“I can stay with him while you work. I know you’ve been trying to get a few things done, hyung.”

Chan smiled, a bit surprised. Jeongin might be the youngest, but he was as perceptive and mature as Chan or Woojin – sometimes even more.

“Let’s go, then.”

The first twenty minutes after arriving at the studio consisted of Chan getting Jisung to actually fall asleep, because if he tried to leave Jisung on the couch while the boy was still awake, Jisung would surely cry. He used that time to put a pull-up on the boy, with Jeongin’s help, because they couldn’t tell how young Jisung was at the moment, and it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once that was done, Chan sat down with the boy on his lap and rocked him slightly, humming a song that was probably not the best lullaby, but that worked well enough. Soon Jisung was asleep, and Chan managed to disentangle himself from the boy. Jeongin took his place, sitting down with Jisung’s head on his legs, and Chan got up to work on the few tracks he had half done.

They stayed like that, in silence, for about an hour, until Jisung woke up.

Jisung rubbed his eyes as he woke up, feeling dizzy and confused. His eyes were stinging and he didn’t remember falling asleep and had no idea where he was. Until he heard the tell-tale noise of Chan humming while clicking away in his computer and felt a hand on his hair, and the afternoon events flooded his mind. He immediately sat up, startling Jeongin, who had been the one with his hand on Jisung’s hair.

“Sungie?”

The maknae asked, making Chan turn around. Jisung stared at them for a second before groaning and hiding his face in his hands, mumbling ‘no’ over and over again, as if repeating it enough times would erase what had happened. He pulled out his pacifier, refraining from throwing it away at the last second.

“Jisung.”

He heard Chan say, sitting on his other side and putting a hand on Jisung’s thigh.

“No.”

Jisung replied. Chan ignored him and gently pried his hands away from his face.

“Calm down, Ji.”

It wasn’t harsh, but it was firm enough for Jisung to instinctively obey. He took a deep breath, although it was shaky, then looked at Chan.

“I’m sorry.”

He mumbled. He couldn’t face Jeongin. Chan squeezed his thigh.

“What, exactly, are you apologizing for?”

He asked. Jisung shook his head.

“For yelling at the others. A-and forcing you to cut practice short to take care of me. And for being a big baby who can’t even joke around without getting upset.”

He said. He was angry with himself. He couldn’t believe he had yelled at the others and then broken down in front of them. Chan’s hand moved to his cheek.

“Wrong answer. The only thing you should be apologizing for is not telling us you were feeling little. The rest is not your fault, and the boys do take their teasing too far sometimes. We’ll discuss that with them later.”

Jisung sighed, closing his eyes.

“They are just playing around, hyung. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Jeongin, by his side, cleared his throat.

“Hyung, I didn’t see what happened, but Chan hyung told me. And you were really upset earlier; if you broke down like that, then them joking around is clearly upsetting you. A lot.”

Jisung shook his head.

“I’m just being stupid.”

He said. Jeongin sighed. Chan made Jisung look at him.

“Excuse me. That’s my best friend you’re talking about. You have no right to call him stupid.” Said Chan, and Jisung couldn’t help but to chuckle a bit. “We’ll talk about this later. But now we have to decide what to tell the others.”

Jisung’s smile died immediately. The others had seen. He had to tell them. He could feel himself panicking. Jeongin held his hand.

“Hyung, it’s going to be ok.”

He said. Jisung wanted to believe him. He really did.

“You don’t know that.”

He said, voice coming out shaky.

“We don’t, but if anyone tries to be funny about it you know we will solve it.”

He said. Jisung didn’t feel all that comforted, but there was no choice, really. He had to tell them something, and no lie would be enough to explain what really had happened. He sighed.

“Can we just get this over with?”

He said. Chan pressed a kiss to his temple and got up. Jeongin followed suit, pulling Jisung up with him. They put Jisung’s stuffed elephant away and left the studio. No turning back now.

Chapter Text

As Jisung had expected, everyone was gathered in the living room when he arrived with Jeongin and Chan. He didn’t want to face them. He had spent the whole trip back to the dorms telling himself that it would be ok, that everyone so far had accepted him fairly well, but it was to no use. Not only was he scared the other three would react badly, his mind was also trying to convince him that the ones who already knew were only waiting for a chance to tell him how much of a disgusting person he was.

Of course he knew that wouldn’t happen. Chan had told him already that he loved taking care of Jisung even before he knew Jisung liked being taken care of. Changbin was also a little. Woojin had friends who were little. Jeongin had been so accepting and kind to Jisung. Felix was always extremely excited when Jisung or Changbin showed signs of slipping. And Jisung knew all that, he did, but… well, his mind liked making him suffer.

Unfortunately, no matter how stressed Jisung was about the whole ordeal, they had to go through this. Minho, Hyunjin and Seungmin had seen Jisung regress, they would definitely ask questions. And of course Jisung and the others could come up with some elaborate lie to explain it, but that was an awful idea, that definitely wouldn’t end well. So sitting down and explaining everything was the only option now.

“Sungie. It’s going to be ok.”

He heard Chan say, and he noticed he was still standing by the door. He gulped, looking at the older.

“I’m scared.”

He said. Chan sighed and squeezed his hand, giving Jisung a little kiss on the cheek.

“Hyung is right here with you. You don’t have to worry, ok?”

Jisung took a deep breath and nodded. And then they made their way into the living room.

Jisung chewed on his lip as Chan finished explaining to the others what had happened. He looked around, trying to get a feel of the general reaction. It was hard. Hyunjin was tense, but his eyes showed too much empathy and sympathy for his tension to mean he found it weird. Minho looked absolutely puzzled, and maybe a little hurt, so Jisung didn’t know what he thought of the idea. Seungmin… Seungmin was frowning. Jisung curled up tighter in his chair.

“So you’re telling me Sungie mentally regresses to a toddler?”

Asked Minho, and he sounded just overall confused.

Chan nodded.

“Kinda, yeah. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but that’s the overall idea.”

Minho looked at Jisung, and Jisung immediately looked down.

“So… he just plays with toys and takes naps and drinks from a sippy cup?”

He asked. Chan chuckled slightly.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Jisung glanced up. Minho didn’t seem angry or disgusted, at least. The boy opened his mouth to say something, but Seungmin interrupted him. And then he said what Jisung had been dreading hearing for years.

“That’s actually kinda fucked up.”

The room immediately went silent. Jisung felt his breath catch on his throat. A second later the living room was a mess of people talking over each other and saying way too many things, and Jisung’s mind immediately went into overdrive, the noise and the implication of Seungmin’s words making him shut down immediately.

He stood up from his chair, barely aware of what he was doing, and before he knew it he had run out of the living room and locked himself in his room.

Chan cursed under his breath as he saw Jisung run away, getting up as well and ignoring the fight going on in the living room. All that mattered at the moment was Jisung, he could solve the rest later. He ran towards his own room, because it was closer to the living room and because he knew Jisung. Unfortunately he was too slow, and when he got there the door was already closed and locked. He cursed, knocking on the door.

“Sungie, please open the door. Please.”

He asked, feeling his eyes watering. He had to keep calm, he knew that. But he also knew was probably on the verge of a panic attack, if not already going through it, and the last thing he wanted was for the boy to be alone at the moment.

Jisung, obviously, didn’t answer. Chan fought to keep himself from crying.

“Ji, please. Please, open the door, baby.”

No answer. Chan felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned around to see Woojin.

“Chan, you have to calm down. You can’t help Sungie if you’re panicking too.”

He said. Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“I promised him it would be ok.”

He choked out. Woojin rubbed his back soothingly.

“It will be ok, Channie. We’ll work this out, I’m sure. But Sungie isn’t going to open the door now. Send him a message, he has his phone with him. He’ll come out when he’s ready, and then we can work this mess out.”

Chan nodded, understanding Woojin’s train of thought. He sighed, closing his eyes and drying his cheeks.

“The others…”

He started. Woojin squeezed his shoulder.

“I’ve got them to shut up and wait quietly until we go back. Want to discuss this now?”

Chan sighed.

“No time like the present…”

He said. The two of them headed to the living room.

Chan took in the scene. Felix, Changbin and Jeongin were fuming. Seungmin had his arms crossed over his chest, and it looked more protective and scared than angry, but he was glaring at the others. Minho was bouncing his leg up and down, seeming upset and anxious. Hyunjin was curled up in his chair, looking down. Chan sighed.

“Ok. We will talk about what just happened here quietly and calmly. Understood?” Everyone nodded. Chan sat down and Woojin settled next to him. “Ok. First of all, Seungmin. I understand if you don’t get age regression and think it’s weird. But you had no right to talk like that. I clearly stated when I started explaining that this was something Jisung was insecure about.”

Seungmin huffed, and Chan noticed he seemed to be about to cry.

“I didn’t, I didn’t mean to speak like that. I’m sorry, ok?”

Chan didn’t have the chance to reply, because Jeongin was faster.

“Oh, so now you didn’t mean it. And what difference does that make now that Sungie hyung is…”

Chan interrupted the maknae with a glare.

“I said calmly and quietly.” He said. Jeongin huffed, but quietened down. “Ok. Min, I understand you didn’t think before speaking. But you’ll need to fix this. You’ll have to talk to Sung.”

Seungmin sighed.

“What am I supposed to say, hyung? I think this whole thing is really weird, ok? I mean, why would Sung want to go around in diapers, and…”

Chan noticed the damage before Seungmin was even done talking when Hyunjin sat up, eyes swimming with tears.

“What’s wrong with wearing diapers?”

He asked, and Chan saw Seungmin cringe.

“Nothing! That’s not what I meant, Jinnie, and you know that, I meant, Sungie doesn’t, I…”

Chan was beginning to notice this would be harder than what he had predicted.

“Guys, please calm down.” Said Woojin. “Look, Min, it’s ok if you don’t get it. Changbin didn’t get it at first either. All you need to do is tell Jisung that you don’t mind, but don’t want to be part of this. It’s simple.”

Seungmin sighed.

“Ok, I can do that.”

He said. Chan looked at Hyunjin, who had once again curled up in the chair. He frowned.

“Jinnie, come here.” He called. He wasn’t surprised when Hyunjin immediately got up, sitting on his lap and hiding against Chan’s chest. He rubbed the boy’s back. “Jinnie, Min didn’t mean what he said.”

He said. Hyunjin shook his head.

“Leave it, hyung.”

He mumbled. Chan sighed.

“Ok. Now, Innie, Lix and Bin, you own an apology to Min. Just like he owns one to Sung.”

Jeongin huffed.

“Oh no, I’m not ready for that.”

He said. Chan saw the hurt on Seungmin’s eyes. He considered pressing the maknae, but Woojin’s warning glance told him not to. He sighed.

“Ok, I think you, Min and Jinnie need to have a talk. Bin, Felix?”

Changbin looked at Felix, who sighed.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, Min. But you better prepare a really fucking good apology to Sung.”

He said. Seungmin nodded. Changbin sighed.

“I don’t think that’s the better time to tell you I also regress.”

He said. Seungmin frowned.

“I don’t…”

Changbin didn’t let him finish.

“I’m sorry I said stupid things to you out of anger. And let me give you my advice, as someone who also didn’t like this at first. Search it up, try to understand. And if even then you don’t like it, just ignore it. There are things about you guys that I don’t like, that’s how people work. But that doesn’t make me love you guys any less, or think of you as lesser people. Keep that in mind.”

He said. Seungmin nodded, looking down. Chan cleared his throat.

“You guys can go. Minho… can you stay a bit longer?”

He asked. Everyone nodded and started to get up and leave. Hyunjin didn’t move, and Chan didn’t try to make him go. Instead, he nudged him and gestured towards Woojin. The boy quickly moved from Chan’s lap to Woojin’s. Once they were all settled, Woojin started talking.

“Min, with all of this mess we didn’t actually get to hear what you think.”

He said. Minho sighed.

“I’m not actually sure what to think, hyung. I mean, I don’t think it’s that weird, probably because I’ve seen weirder. But I, uhn… Sung is my boyfriend. I’m not sure… I don’t know how to feel.”

Chan nodded. It did make sense.

“You should talk to Lix before talking to Sungie. He can tell you a bit about how it is for him and Binnie.”

Minho nodded. Then he bit on his lip.

“Is Sungie ok?”

He asked. Chan sighed.

“Right now? No, probably not. But he’ll be.”

Minho nodded.

“Can you tell me when he’s ready to talk to us?”

He pleaded. Chan nodded.

“Sure, Min. Now go rest.”

He said. Minho got up, wishing them goodnight before leaving the room.

Chan looked at Woojin.

“You’ve got this?”

He asked, gesturing towards Hyunjin. Woojin nodded.

“Yes, go try to talk to Sungie now.”

He said. Chan gave him a quick peck and left.

Chapter Text

Jisung woke up feeling like even sitting up was as hard of a task as holding up the sky with his hands. He whined, feeling cold and uncomfortable, and put his thumb in his mouth, trying to soothe himself. It worked a bit, and he calmed down enough to look around. He knew he was in his appa’s room, and his appa’s smell was strong there, making Jisung feel safe. But his appa was nowhere to be seen. He whined again, hoping his appa would show up. It didn’t work. He whined again, louder, his eyes filling with tears.

“Sungie?”

Jisung’s eyes widened. That was his appa’s voice. But it sounded so far away… He whined again. He was rewarded with his appa’s voice.

“Sungie, baby, can you open the door?”

Jisung frowned. Open the door, he had to open the door.

It was hard. Sitting up was hard, getting down from the bed was hard. Crawling to the door was hard. But Jisung managed, and soon the door was open, and all of his effort was rewarded as he saw his appa’s face. He immediately raised his hands, whining. But his appa was looking at him with a frown on his face.

“Jisungie, baby, you’re all wet…”

Said the boy. Jisung felt his eyes fill with tears. Didn’t his appa love him? He probably didn’t want Jisung because Jisung was disgusting and weird. The tears started to flow and Jisung sobbed, looking down. A second later he was scooped up, and then his appa was hugging him like he always did, so maybe he did still love Jisung. He decided not to take risks, though, wrapping his hand around his appa’s neck.

“Oh, baby. Let’s get you all cleaned up and ready for bed, ok? Then we can have something to eat and cuddle for a bit before sleeping. Does that sound good?”

Jisung didn’t quite understand what his appa was saying, but he understood bed, and eat, and cuddle, and that was enough to him. He hugged his appa tighter.

He saw Woojin and Binnie pass them by, and he heard his appa say something about his bed, but he didn’t care much about what it was. He just wanted to get out of his cold wet clothes and eat something.

Soon he was being put inside the tub, and he tried hard to stay sitting up, but it just felt so hard… he barely felt himself leaning back until his appa gasped, and then there was something holding Jisung up.

“Wow, baby, careful there.”

Jisung blinked at him. His appa just gave him a soft smile, and Jisung reached forward to poke his dimple. His appa’s smile grew and Jisung smiled too.

“God, how can you be so cute, baby?”

Jisung giggled. His appa chuckled, and then he carefully poured water on Jisung’s head. Jisung closed his eyes, letting his appa take care of him, and before he knew it he was in his fluffy pyjamas. His appa took him to the kitchen, and Jisung spotted Felix. He didn’t mind the boy being there, until his appa started pulling away and Jisung saw Felix reaching for him. As soon as he noticed what was happening the tears started to flow and he began to cry. He didn’t want his appa to leave him, he didn’t want to stay with Felix, because he loved Felix, but he just wanted his appa to hold him.

“Jiji, baby, it’s ok, hey. It’s ok, it’s just Lix hyung, why are you crying?”

Jisung continued to cry, hoping his appa would understand. It seemed to work, because his appa stopped pulling away and instead hugged Jisung tighter, before sitting down.

“It’s ok, baby. It’s ok.”

He said. Jisung leaned against him and closed his eyes, feeling too tired after crying to keep them open.

He was sucking on his thumb when his appa shook his slightly. Jisung opened his eyes, frowning. His appa kissed his cheek.

“Angel, Lix made you yummy food. Want to eat?”

The word food got Jisung’s attention. He looked around, and his appa laughed and turned him around so he was facing the table. Jisung’s eyes found a plate full of food in front of him and frowned. His appa grabbed the spoon, then took it to Jisung’s mouth.

“Open up, baby, aaaah.” He said. Jisung didn’t want to. He closed his mouth tightly. “Angel, you must be hungry. Come on, eat for hyungie.”

Jisung whined. He heard his appa sigh.

“Jisungie, angel, you really have to eat.”

He said, nudging Jisung’s lips. Jisung whined, eyes once again filling with tears. His appa immediately took the spoon away, and Jisung sighed happily.

He heard his appa saying something to Lix, and then Lix nodded. Jisung whined. He was hungry. He wanted to eat. His appa bounced him.

“Just a second, baby, hyungie will give you food soon.”

Jisung whined again. And then his appa reached for something and Jisung squealed happily, pointing with his nose towards the bottle. His appa laughed and helped Jisung lie with his head tilted back slightly. Jisung opened his mouth and his appa chuckled again.

“Well, someone is eager. You’re lucky we bought this bottle, Sungie.”

He said. Jisung whined, and then his appa finally put the bottle against his lip. Jisung closed his eyes and sighed happily.

“He must be really little.”

Said Felix, looking at Jisung as the boy sucked lazily on the bottle’s nipple. Chan nodded, watching Jisung, fascinated. They had bought the bottle on the first time Jisung and Changbin regressed together, because it reminded them that Jisung could actually go pretty deep into headspace at times. Chan was thankful for that, now.

“I’ve never seen him this little. He’s even refusing to eat.”

He said. He had to admit the experience was pretty amazing. Chan loved little Jisung, and he loved it when Jisung was old enough to interact and play. But this Jisung… it was absolutely adorable. He looked so soft and innocent, so trusting. Chan felt even a bit overwhelmed when he noticed how much Jisung trusted him.

In his arms, Jisung whined. Chan immediately looked down, adjusting the bottle so that it was more comfortable for Jisung to drink. He couldn’t help but to smile. He would take a picture of this if it wasn’t so risky, because the way Jisung was softly holding Chan’s hand to keep the older from pulling the bottle away was adorable. The boy’s half-closed eyes and his rosy chubby cheeks, even the way his lips closed around the bottle’s nipple, everything about Jisung at the moment screamed ‘adorable’.

In the back of his mind, however, Chan couldn’t help but to be worried. Right now Jisung was cute and easy to handle because he was in headspace. But Chan knew that as soon as the boy was out of headspace he would be mortified and angry, and every negative emotion in between, Seungmin’s words having more of an effect than each and every reassurance that Chan or any of the others had ever given him.

Chan couldn’t lie, he was pissed at Seungmin. He had toned it down when he demanded the boy to apologize, because he knew better than to make this into an even bigger mess than it already was. But he knew Jisung, and he knew the boy was susceptible to harsh comments and others’ opinions. And he knew how much Jisung already struggled with his little side, how much he fought against it. He wasn’t very eager to see the damage Seungmin’s comment had made. So he was mad at Seungmin.

Jisung whined again, bringing Chan out of his thoughts. The older looked down, pulling the bottle away when he noticed it was empty. This, however, made Jisung whine more. Chan had to admit that Jisung being this little had a downside: they never knew what he wanted.

“Do you want more, angel?”

He asked. Jisung whined, then put his fingers in his mouth. Chan quickly understood the gesture and searched his pocket for Jisung’s pacifier. It was easy to coax the boy to let go of his fingers in exchange for the rubber nipple.

Once that was done, Jisung closed his eyes. Chan caressed his hair softly. Jisung sighed and snuggled closer to Chan.

Chan smiled, then carefully got up. He gestured for Felix to help him adjust Jisung in his arms, and then headed to his room. Once in there he checked to see if Jisung needed a new diaper and then carefully covered the boy, slipping into the bed next to him. Jisung immediately clung to him, hiding his face against Chan, and his breath evened out. Chan kissed his forehead.

“I love you, angel.”

He whispered, hoping the words would somehow stick with Jisung. The boy didn’t reply, but he fisted his hand on Chan’s shirt. That was enough for Chan.

Chapter Text

Chan woke up alone. He opened his eyes and tried to pull Jisung closer, only to notice the spot next to him was empty and cold. He immediately sat up, cursing. He should have known. He should really have known that Jisung would run away as soon as he wasn’t in headspace anymore. With a deep breath to calm himself down, Chan got up.

To his surprise, Jisung was in the kitchen. The boy was calmly eating while looking at his phone, and he seemed fine. Chan frowned. Something was wrong.

“Sung?”

He called. Jisung looked up, startled, and for a moment Chan saw him panic, before the boy smiled, all traces of fear erased from his eyes and face.

“Morning, hyung.”

He said, smiling. Anyone else would believe Jisung’s smile was genuine. But Chan knew the boy well enough to see that it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He noticed Jisung was in his normal practice clothes.

“Morning. Are you ok? You were pretty little yes…”

Jisung interrupted him, still smiling. His smile was minimally tighter now.

“I’m sorry for hogging you bed, hyung. I won’t do it anymore.”

He said. An alarm immediately rang in Chan’s head. He walked closer, his heart breaking as he saw Jisung flinch.

“Sung. You know I don’t mind you sleeping in my bed.”

He said. Jisung shrugged, looking back down at his food. Chan sat next to him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I don’t need to.”

He said. Chan restrained himself from cursing Seungmin. Getting angry at the boy would help nothing.

“It’s not about what you need, it’s about what you want.”

At that Jisung looked up at him, right into Chan’s eyes.

“Yeah, well. I don’t want to.”

Chan’s heart broke. He knew Jisung didn’t mean it, the sadness in those huge innocent eyes was enough to tell him that. But he couldn’t help feeling a little bit hurt.

“Sung, what happened yesterday…”

Jisung once again didn’t let him finish.

“Hyung. I don’t want to.”

He said, before getting up and throwing his practically full bowl of food on the trash.

Chan considered repeatedly hitting his face on the table. Instead, he got up to make coffee.

Practice was hell. Jisung was acting as if everything was fine, but he refused to go near Seungmin, and the closest anyone – Felix – had gotten to him the whole day was an arm’s distance. Hyunjin was also avoiding everyone, except he wasn’t even trying to hard how bad he felt, like Jisung. Instead, whenever they weren’t actively practicing he curled up against the wall, refusing to talk.

The others weren’t looking too good, either. Minho had quickly given up on getting closer to Jisung, and was trying to pretend it wasn’t hurting him seeing his boyfriend shy away from his touch and presence. Jeongin was glaring at Seungmin more often than not, and the second youngest looked like he was about to cry whenever he looked at either of his boyfriends.

Woojin, Changbin and Felix were the ones holding everything together. Chan knew he himself was in bad shape, and he was conscious enough of his problem to let Woojin take the lead for the day. The older was the one keeping everyone afloat with instructions and orders. Felix had noticed the was the only one Jisung was willing to get a bit close to, and had taken the role of being the boy’s support, so his focus was entirely on Jisung. And Changbin was silently accompanying Hyunjin, as well as trying to distract Jeongin from his anger with Seungmin.

Chan decided it would be better for them to just give up on practicing when Seungmin unknowingly went too close to Jisung and the boy stumbled backwards, falling down in his attempt to get away from the other boy as quickly as possible. He had then practically bitten Felix’s arm off when the boy tried to help him get up.

“Don’t touch me. I can stand up on my on.”

Had been his words. One glance around the room told Chan this would only get worse.

Chan wanted to drag Jisung to the dorms with them when he announced they were going home and the boy said he would stay back to practice more. Jisung’s answer to Chan trying to convince him to just leave, however, had been short and dry, and Chan decided to back away before he made things worse. If he wanted to solve this, he couldn’t have Jisung hating him. So they left, Chan with his heart in his hands, and Jisung stayed.

As they arrived at the dorms, Hyunjin immediately locked himself in his room. Seungmin headed inside as well, and Chan worried about them, but he couldn’t tell the two what to do. So, after making sure everything was in order and sending a message to their managed, he headed to his own room and lay down with his computer, knowing he was too stressed to focus on anything, but wanting to try at least for a bit.

Chan managed to work quite a bit, surprisingly. He wrote down a few things he knew would be great material for songs later on, and worked on fixing a few songs he already had but that were still too raw and unpolished. And then Changbin had walked into the room and told him Jisung was back, and all of Chan’s focus immediately vanished. He looked at the time. It was later than he expected.

“Has everyone eaten?”

He asked. Changbin nodded.

“Jinnie didn’t want to, but I think Woojin hyung took got food for him.”

Chan nodded.

“And Sung?”

Changbin grimaced.

“He just arrived. I don’t think he has eaten at all today.”

Chan bit on his lip.

“Can you try to make him eat? Just a little bit.”

Changbin opened his mouth, probably to say it would be better if Chan did that. But then he seemed to think again and just nodded.

“Will do, hyung. As soon as he’s out of the shower. And please eat too.”

He said, before leaving.

Not wanting to set a bad example, Chan soon left the room, heading to the kitchen and making some ramen to himself. Changbin smiled at him, and Chan gave him a half-smile back before heading back to his room to eat in peace.

Chan had just settled down on his computer gain after brushing his teeth and setting his alarm for the next day when someone knocked on the door.

“Hyung?”

Came Jeongin’s voice. Chan closed his laptop and sat up.

“Come in.”

He said. The door opened and Jeongin peeked inside. His eyes were sad and tired, and it broke Chan’s heart. He sat up and patted his bed, letting Jeongin sit next to him.

“Are you ok, Innie?”

He asked. Jeongin looked down.

“Hyung, what are we going to do?”

He asked. Chan sighed, trying to control his own emotions.

“I don’t know, Innie. I’ll try to talk to Sungie again, tomorrow. I got us a free day so that we can try to solve this mess. Then I’ll talk to Seungmin. And then we’ll see.”

Jeongin sighed. He seemed extremely upset and just so… tired. That was the only word Chan could think of.

“I don’t think I can forgive him, hyung.”

He admitted. Chan could see how much it pained the boy to say that. And he also knew that wasn’t true, because Jeongin loved Seungmin a lot, and Seungmin was a bad person, he hadn’t had the intention to hurt anyone. Chan was sure they were going to solve it. He squeezed Jeongin’s shoulder.

“Innie, you should talk to him about this. Minnie fucked up. Badly. But he’s not a bad person, and we need to at least try and understand why he did it.”

He said. Jeongin sighed.

“I, I’ll try, hyung.”

He said. Chan pulled him into a hug he hoped was reassuring.

“We’ll work this out.”

He said. Jeongin nodded, and before either of them noticed they had fallen asleep against each other.

Chan woke up earlier than normal for a break day, turning off his alarm as soon as possible to avoid disturbing Jeongin and Changbin. The maknae was lying next to him, and Chan took a second to pull the boy’s fringe away from his face. Sometimes he forgot how young Jeongin was. The boy was so mature and acted so much like an adult that Chan forgot that he actually was still a teenager. He felt bad for the boy. Jeongin had been the first one to find out about Jisung, had helped the rapper through the hardest part of this process. To see all of his work be crushed in front of him was clearly taking a toll on him.

Not wanting to waste time, Chan got up, covering Jeongin again once he was out of bed. Then he headed to Jisung’s room.

He didn’t actually need to go to the boy’s room, however. When he walked into the living room he spotted the boy asleep on the couch, curled up with his thumb in his mouth. Chan closed his eyes for a second, telling himself once again that he couldn’t be angry at Seungmin. Then he walked up to Jisung and shook him.

“Sungie. Please wake up.”

Jisung was a difficult person to wake up, usually. He was a heavy sleeper and sometimes just preferred not to wake up. Except this time he woke up before Chan was even done calling him. For a second he just stared at the older, then he pushed Chan away and sat up, pulling his thumb out of his mouth. Chan noticed the boy’s eyes were red, and cursed himself for not forcing Jisung to talk the day before, for not checking on him before going to bed.

“Go away.”

Said Jisung, voice raspy, pained. Chan frowned.

“Sung, you can’t sleep on the couch.” He said. Jisung didn’t look up and didn’t reply, arms crossed over his chest protectively. Chan bit on his lip. “Sungie…”

“Don’t call me that!”

Jisung’s scream startled Chan, who froze on the spot. For a second neither boy did anything. Then Chan frowned.

“Jisung. We need to talk. I know you don’t want to, but we have to.”

For a moment, all Chan could see in Jisung’s eyes was despair.

“Hyung, please. I just don’t want to. Please.”

He pleaded, and Chan knew he was trying hard not to cry. He sat next to Jisung.

“I know, but we have to. Sung, it’s going to be ok. You have to trust me.”

He said. Jisung flinched away from the arm Chan tried to put around him and shook his head.

“I mean I don’t want any of it. I need to grow up already, hyung. I can’t keep doing this, can’t keep acting like a baby and making you take care of me.”

Chan wanted to cry as he saw all of his and the others’ hard work going down the drain.

“Sungie, we’ve talked about this. You need your headspace. It helps you so much, and you know that. And you know none of us care that…”

Jisung interrupted him, and his eyes were swimming with tears.

“Seungmin cares! And Changbin hyung cared, and Minho hyung probably cares, too, and, and Jinnie, I…”

Under normal circumstances, Jisung would have sought out Chan’s warmth to calm down, would have reached for the older for shelter. Instead, he curled up on himself, hugging his knees as he shook. Chan knew better than to try and pull him closer, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Jisung, I know you’re upset about what Seungmin said, but you have to listen. He didn’t mean it like that, he really didn’t. He just doesn’t understand, like Changbin didn’t understand, and…”

Jisung once again cut him off, looking up. His eyes burning with anger and something else much sadder that Chan couldn’t quite name.

“Chan hyung, stop. I don’t want you to tell me what he did or didn’t mean. He was right. This is fucked up. I’m an adult, I can’t keep letting you guys treat me like a baby. It’s wrong, and it’s weird, and I don’t care what you say, because it just isn’t normal.” Chan tried to interrupt, but Jisung talked over him. “You say you like taking care of me, too. Well, then you’re a freak too, just like me. And I don’t care what you do, hyung, but I’ll do my best to not be a freak anymore. If you want to keep being one, you can find someone else to do it with.”

Jisung’s words hurt. They hurt so much Chan could physically feel the pain in his chest. And yes, the fact that Jisung was calling him a freak upset him a lot, but nothing hurt as much as knowing that Jisung thought that of himself.

Before Chan could formulate an answer, Jisung got up.

“Sung…”

Tried the older. Jisung shook his head.

“I’m done with this, hyung.”

Chapter Text

Jeongin took his head from under the pillow when he heard a door being slammed. Probably the street door. He sat up, and noticed Changbin was also awake. Everyone was awake, probably. Chan and Jisung hadn’t been exactly quiet. When Jeongin’s eyes met Changbin’s he saw the same fear he felt reflected in the older’s gaze.

“I’ll go check on hyung.”

He said. Changbin nodded, getting up to change. Jeongin walked out and headed to the living room.

Chan was crying. Jeongin should have expected it, given the conversation that had just transpired in that room, but still… he had seen Chan cry countless times, because Chan wasn’t one to hide his feelings, but they had never been these silent pained tears he was crying right now. They had never been so sad.

Not knowing what to do, Jeongin slowly approached the boy. The older seemed to sense his presence or hear him, because he looked up. For a moment they stared at each other, then Jeongin felt his own eyes watering and threw himself at the older.

“Innie, hey, it’s ok.”

Whispered Chan, holding Jeongin. The youngest shook his head.

“It’s not, hyung. You’re crying, I hate, I hate to see you so sad.”

He said. Chan pulled him closer, caressing his hair.

“Sungie’s words just hurt me a bit, Innie, I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry.”

Jeongin shook his head again.

“I can’t…”

He was interrupted by someone entering the room.

“Chan hyung…”

Seungmin’s voice had never sounded so horrible to Jeongin. In a second he was standing up between Chan and Seungmin.

“You! This is all your fault!”

He screamed, pointing at Seungmin, not caring about honorifics and being polite. Seungmin’s eyes widened, and Jeongin knew he was hurting the older, but he didn’t care.

“I, I didn’t mean to…”

Tried to speak the older, but Jeongin ignored him.

“I don’t give a damn if you meant it or not! You said it, and now Sungie hyung is upset, and Chan hyung is crying, and Jinnie won’t speak, and it’s all your fault!”

He noticed Seungmin was shaking, and he felt a pang of guilt in his chest as he saw the boy’s eyes watering. Unfortunately, it was nowhere near enough to push through his anger, at the moment.

“Innie, I swear…”

Jeongin saw red.

“I told you not to call me that!”

He yelled, and then he noticed the others had gotten up and were gathering in the living room to see what the hell was happening. Seungmin whimpered.

“Jeongin, I really am sorry, I… please forgive me, I can’t…”

Jeongin shook his head.

“Why don’t you ask Hyunjin to forgive you, hum? Oh, right, he hasn’t been talking. Or maybe you should apologize to Jisung but guess what? He left after sleeping on the couch, because he couldn’t…”

Jeongin couldn’t finish his sentence, however, because Woojin interrupted him.

“Jisung left?”

He asked, voice levelled but clearly worried. And then Jeongin noticed the seriousness of the situation. Jisung was alone. He was alone, outside, in a completely delicate and vulnerable state. Fuck. The youngest turned to Chan.

“Hyung…”

The older shook his head.

“I can’t go looking for him, he won’t let me get close. Lix could go…”

He said, drying fresh tears from his cheeks, and Jeongin immediately felt guilty for yelling at Seungmin. This whole divide in the team was clearly affecting Chan a lot. Jeongin should have known better.

“I’ll go look for him with Lix.” Said Woojin. “You guys wait here and try to keep calm, alright?”

Everyone nodded and Woojin and Felix headed to their rooms to get dressed to go outside. Jeongin glanced at Seungmin again. Now that he had stopped to breathe for a second he felt guilty for yelling so much. Seungmin was standing in the middle of the living room, eyes watery and body shaking. Jeongin rubbed his face.

“I’m sorry, Seungmin hyung. That was out of line.” Seungmin looked at him, eyes hopeful. Jeongin shook his head. “But I still can’t forgive you.”

And saying that he headed to his room to try and put his thoughts in order.

Seungmin didn’t think he had ever fucked up so badly in his entire life. He had done some shitty choices before, obviously. Who hadn’t? But this was on another level. And the worst thing was: he hadn’t meant what he said, not at all. He could admit that he didn’t understand Jisung and Changbin wanting to be treated like kids. To him, that phase was over, and there was no turning back. So why pretend? That didn’t mean, though, that he was opposed to it.

Still, he had called it ‘fucked up’. Stupid. How could he have been so stupid? Chan had said this was something Jisung didn’t like about himself, and Seungmin had gone and reinforced it, like an asshole. He would give anything to go back and keep those words from leaving his mouth.

He didn’t really think it was fucked up, was what he wanted to tell the others. He had expressed himself badly, had been caught by surprise. Suddenly learning that your closest friends do something that you never even knew existed was a weird experience. And Seungmin knew he could have said he didn’t understand it in a much nicer way, but he had let his mouth move before his brain, and now their whole group was crumbling apart. It was all his fault.

He watched as Jeongin left the room, and then he finally sat down on the floor, his knees giving up on holding his weight up. He let the tears fall, ignoring the eyes he could feel on him.

“Guys, please leave.”

He heard Chan say, and then, after a few moments of the sound of feet shuffling, there was a hand on Seungmin’s shoulder. He looked up.

“Hyung…”

He said. Chan sighed.

“I won’t say I’m not upset with you, Min. You really fucked up this time. But I know you’re not bad, so… can you at least explain to me why you said that?”

He asked. Seungmin sighed, accepting Chan’s help to stand up and heading to the couch.

“I didn’t mean to say it, hyung, I swear. I don’t, I don’t think it’s fucked up. I don’t get it, not really. My mom took my pacifier away when I was two, and my baby blanket and nightlight when I was three. She told me I wasn’t a baby anymore, so I shouldn’t act like one. For my whole life I’ve been told that I should act my age. I guess the idea of someone who is already almost an adult acting like a baby just… doesn’t make sense to me.”

He said, trying his best to put his struggle into words. Chan nodded.

“Well, I can see where you’re coming from. It doesn’t justify what you said, but I can see how it could have slipped. Still… you need to fix this, Min. Can you tell Jisung all of what you just told me?”

Seungmin sighed.

“I would, hyung. But he’s avoiding me, what can I do?”

By his side, Chan rubbed his temple.

“I don’t know, Min. I wish I did, and I should know. But I don’t.”

Seungmin looked at the boy. Chan seemed tired and defeated. Seungmin wondered if they would ever go back to normal after this mess.

Jisung didn’t pay attention to where he was running. He didn’t want to go to the company, they would surely find him there. He also didn’t want to go to the convenience store or the café they usually frequented, because they would also look for him there. So he ran away to the only direction left, hoping he would come across a good enough place to hide.

He found the park after running for quite some time. A calm place he didn’t even remember was near their dorm, because they didn’t go to often, too busy to go out like that. He was careful to settle down away from the playground, because sitting next to toys was the last thing he needed at the moment. He was already scared from being alone in a place he didn’t know well; he didn’t need anything else threatening to trigger him.

With a sigh, Jisung leaned against a tree trunk. He closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath. Seungmin’s words kept ringing in his head again and again, drowning the sound of the others’ voices. Jisung hated it. He hated being so affected by a simple comment, and he hated the fact that Seungmin was right. Jisung was a freak. What he wanted was fucked up. He had to stop.

He knew he had hurt Chan earlier with his words. It pained him to see the boy suffering because of him, but it was for a good cause. Jisung couldn’t let Chan keep coddling him, otherwise he would give into the temptation of slipping, and he couldn’t do that. No more headspace for him, no matter how much he wanted or felt like he needed it.

Sighing again, he opened his eyes. He could do this. He had spent years supressing his little side. He could definitely do it again, and then maybe one day it would be gone and he wouldn’t have to supress it anymore. Deep in his mind he knew that wouldn’t happen. But, as the saying goes, hope dies last. Jisung had to at least try. Even if it meant avoiding all kinds of contact with the others for a while.

Chapter Text

Felix breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted Jisung walking towards them.

“Woojin hyung.”

He called, pointing at the rapper. Woojin, too, seemed relieved. They had looked for Jisung everywhere they could think of, with no luck, and after more than one hour trying to find him with no success they were starting to get worried. To say they were happy to finally find the boy was an understatement.

“Jisung.”

Woojin called. The rapper looked up, seeming startled. Then he gave them a half-smile before nodding at them. Once the boy reached them, Felix pulled him into a hug. He felt Jisung tense, and then the boy awkwardly patted his back before pulling away. Felix tried not to feel too hurt.

“Sung, we looked for you everywhere.”

He said. Jisung smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, had to think for a bit. I should have told you guys I was fine.”

Felix frowned. Jisung sounded so… normal. It was weird considering the whole situation, and Felix was pretty sure the boy was only pretending to be ok, but he didn’t push.

“It’s ok, Sungie.” Said Woojin. “What matters is that you’re fine.”

Jisung nodded at Woojin, and the three of them headed home. Jisung walked behind them, completely silent. Felix felt a tinge of uneasiness settle in his stomach. Something was definitely off.

For a few days, nothing happened. Jisung apologized for yelling at Chan and for worrying everyone and that was it. He continued avoiding Seungmin, but he seemed to be back to his normal self. Mostly. Chan and Woojin had told the others to leave him be for a while.

“We can’t force him to talk or go into headspace.” Had been Woojin’s words, and everyone had agreed.

Still, Felix wasn’t convinced that was the best plan.

It didn’t take long for Felix to notice that maybe things were worse than they thought. The first thing that tipped him off was the fact that Jisung had stopped using his pacifier. Felix had caught the boy with his sleeve in his mouth, his sheets, he hoodie strings and even paper, but not his pacifier. That worried him, because he knew Jisung used the pacifier to sleep and to calm himself down; it was the way they had found to stop Jisung from destroying his things and hurting himself while still taking care of his oral fixation. But he decided to wait and see how that developed.

Then he noticed Jisung had stopped cuddling the others. He no longer bothered them asking for kisses and hugs, and he hadn’t cuddled with anyone since the fight in the living room. He had also been trying to avoid touching the others, flinching away from casual touches and everything that came close to that. That worried Felix even more, because Jisung was a naturally clingy person, and Felix had caught him, more than once, glancing at the others with want in his eyes when he saw them cuddling.

And then one day, four days after the fight, Felix found Jisung’s three pacifiers in the trashcan. For a moment his breath stopped. He took the items from the trashcan, washing them and walking out of the dorms as silently as he could. As he had expected, inside the trashcan by their building he found Jisung’s box of little stuff. Felix’s heart dropped to his feet. This wasn’t a good sign. He headed to Chan’s room.

“Hyung?”

He called. Chan and Changbin looked up from their laptops.

“Come in, Lix.”

Said Changbin. Felix entered the room, closing the door and sighing. Both boys were looking at him, frowning. Felix put the box down on the floor.

“What are you doing with that, Lix?”

Asked Chan. Felix bit on his lip, just then thinking that maybe he shouldn’t have told Chan about this. But now there was no turning back.

“I found it on the trash.”

He replied. Chan cursed. Changbin frowned.

“Do you think he threw it away?”

Asked Changbin. Felix sighed.

“I mean, seems like the only explanation.”

Chan groaned.

“This is bad.”

He mumbled. Felix’s heart was beating way too fast for it to be normal.

“Hyung?”

He called. Chan shook his head.

“I thought it was a matter of time. Thought we could wait for him to calm down so that we could talk, but…” He paused for a second. “Is… is his fox in there?”

He asked. Felix’s heart hurt for Chan. The leader sounded so sad… he checked the box. He sighed.

“It’s not here. None of his stuffed toys are.”

A collective sigh of relief went around the room.

“Are you sure they weren’t in the trash?”

Felix nodded. Chan seemed to calm down a bit. The fact that Jisung – probably – hadn’t had the courage to throw his plush toys away was a sign that there was still hope there.
From the corner of his eyes, Felix saw Changbin biting on his lip. He sighed.

“What can we do?”

He asked, looking at Chan. The leader massaged his temples.

“Don’t look at me, there’s nothing I can do. You saw what happened last time I talked to him about this.”

He said. The older’s disgruntled look made Felix’s heart ache once again. Jisung and Chan hadn’t talked at all since their fight, save for Jisung’s brief apology after coming back. Felix knew this was hurting both of them, but Jisung didn’t seem willing to go close to Chan, and Chan seemed to have given up on trying to win the boy back. The whole situation was as shitty as it got, in Felix’s mind.

“What if I talk to him?”

Suggested Changbin, but his voice was unsure and weak. Chan shrugged. Felix looked at his boyfriend and sighed.

“I don’t know, hyung…” He said. He didn’t know how much good it would make to bother Jisung with this topic while the boy was still so upset. “Maybe if we got him to talk to Seungmin…”

He suggested. Chan frowned.

“He refuses to go near Seungmin, though.”

Felix ran a hand through his hair. This was too stressful, and the fact that they were heading towards a comeback wasn’t helping.

“I just… I hate… fuck.”

Said Felix. Then he heard a whimper and his eyes widened. Felix almost hit himself for being so stupid. Amidst this whole mess, none of them had ever paused to consider that Seungmin’s words might also affect Changbin, just like this whole situation.

“Lixie…”

Felix rushed towards the older, with Chan right next to him.

“Hey, Binnie baby. It’s alright, there’s no need to cry.”

He said. Chan, by their side, was caressing Changbin’s hair.

“E-evewyone sad.”

Mumbled Changbin, and Felix noticed the boy was younger at the moment than he had ever been in headspace. He pulled Changbin into a hug.

“We’re just going through a rough moment, baby. Everyone will be fine soon, ok?”

Changbin sniffed, but nodded. Felix pulled back.

“Good, now no more tears, ok?” He said, drying the boy’s cheeks. “What do you want to do so we can cheer up?”

He asked. Changbin seemed to think for a bit, before speaking up.

“H-hungwy.”

He said. Felix smiled.

“Well, then we should grab some food, hum? Come on, let’s see what we have for our little prince.”

Changbin giggled at that, and Felix felt lighter than he had in a few days. He glanced at Chan. The older noticed his gaze, and shook his head.

“Go with him. I’ll stay.”

He said. Felix sighed sadly.

“Everything will work out, hyung. You’ll see.”

And saying that he left.

Chan’s eyes widened as Changbin entered the room crying, Felix rushing after him.

“What happened?” He asked, standing up ready to act where he was needed. Felix ignored him, pulling Changbin into a hug. “Lix, what…?”

Felix shook his head.

“Not now, hyung. Binnie, hey. It’s alright, he didn’t mean it.”

Chan felt his stomach drop. He looked towards the door. He really didn’t want to go out there and find out what had happened, because he knew exactly what had happened. But he didn’t have a choice. No matter how much he was hurting and how much more whatever was to come would hurt him, he couldn’t just stay away. He headed towards the others’ voices.

Jisung, Woojin, Seungmin and Jeongin were standing in the living room. Woojin was holding Jisung’s arm, and the younger was looking down, hands closed into fists.

“You had no right, Jisung. Absolutely no right to just…”

Chan cleared his throat. Everyone but Jisung turned to look at him.

“What happened?”

He asked. Jisung flinched. Woojin sighed.

“Jisung just said something he shouldn’t have said.”

Was the older’s explanation. Chan looked at Jeongin, then at Seungmin. Both boys had tears in his eyes. Chan walked closer and put a hand on Jisung’s shoulder.

“Sung…”

Jisung jerked away, freeing himself from Chan and Woojin.

“Don’t touch me.”

He said, and it was probably supposed to be menacing, but it just sounded scared. Chan took a deep breath. It wasn’t the time to cry.

“Jisung I know you’re upset, but you can’t take it out on people.”

He said, voice firm. Jisung looked up, glaring at Chan, though his gaze was wavering.

“Not like I lied, Changbin hyung was being a freak.”

He said. Chan saw, from the corner of his eyes, Seungmin flinching. The boy spoke up.

“Sung, that’s not true, Bin hyung…”

Jisung’s laugh was bitter as he looked at Seungmin.

“Oh, so now it’s not true. Nice to see you changed your mind. I didn’t, though. This is fucked up.”

Seungmin whimpered, stepping back.

“Sungie, I never… I didn’t mean what I said, I just…”

Jisung shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s the truth anyways. But it’s ok, you can be a freak with them, now that you think this is fine. Just don’t involve me in this weird shit.”

And that was the moment Chan understood what Jisung was doing. He was building up walls. He was being an ass to keep the others away from him, so that they would leave him alone. So there would be no risk of him slipping.

“Sungie, angel…”

Chan saw the effect of his words immediately. Jisung’s eyes filled with tears and he clenched his teeth.

“Don’t you dare.”

He said, before turning away and running to his room.

“Channie…”

Called Woojin. Chan shook his head.

“Go to bed, everyone. We have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Jeongin.”

Seungmin’s voice pierced through Jeongin’s dream, waking him up.

“Hyung?”

He called, confused. He opened his eyes, making out Seungmin’s silhouette against the door.

“Can we talk?”

Jeongin entertained the thought of refusing, but decided he could at least hear the boy. No matter how angry he was. He got up, sighing.

“Make it quick.”

He said as he passed Seungmin, going to the living room so they wouldn’t wake anyone up. Seungmin followed him and they settled on the couch, and Jeongin noticed how much he missed the older.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry. I know I fucked up, I know this whole situation is my fault. But please believe me when I say I didn’t mean to.”

He said. Jeongin sighed.

“I understand that, hyung, and I believe you, but… look what happened. Sungie hasn’t been smiling or talking to anyone properly, he has been avoiding Chan hyung and Minho hyung completely. Jinnie has barely spoken, and we can’t even ask him what the problem is, because he doesn’t answer. We will be having a comeback soon, how will we cover this up? No one is talking to anyone.”

He saw Seungmin’s eyes watering.

“I’m sorry. If I could I would go back and fix it, but I can’t, I, I never meant to… I’m so sorry, Innie, I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to fix this.”

Jeongin felt a pang in his heart. For a second his anger vanished and he caught a glimpse of what Seungmin must be going through. He made a mistake, and now this whole mess was being blamed on him entirely. He bit on his lip. And then he tentatively hugged the older.

“Hyung, take a breath. Calm down a bit.”

Seungmin obeyed, clinging to Jeongin.

“I’m sorry.”

He repeated. Jeongin squeezed his arm.

“I know. We will work this out. I won’t say I forgive you completely, not for now. But I’m sure we will get through this, and then we can talk again. Alright?”

Seungmin nodded. Jeongin let the boy fall sleep against him.

“And then they drank tea together.”

Said Felix. Changbin was still sniffling a bit, but he was now more focused on the story.

“The end?”

He asked, softly. Felix smiled.

“The end.”

Changbin was silent for a second, his thumb in his mouth. Then he pouted.

“Sungie hate Binnie?”

He asked. Felix quickly shook his head.

“Oh, baby, no. No, he doesn’t.”

He said. Changbin looked at him.

“He sayed Binnie f-fweak.”

Felix sighed.

“Sungie is going through a really hard time, Binnie baby. And sometimes when we are sad we say things that we don’t mean. Sungie didn’t mean what he said.”

Explained Felix, noticing they had been saying that quite a lot recently. ‘He didn’t mean what he said.’ it was a funny way of putting things. He didn’t mean it, but he said it.

“Sungie sad?”

Asked Changbin. Felix blinked, coming back to reality.

“Yes, he’s a bit sad.”

He said. Changbin pouted.

“Binnie cheer him up.”

He stated. Felix chuckled.

“Ok, but not now, baby. For now, close your eyes and sleep. Hyungie will be here with you.”

Changbin closed his eyes as instructed, then opened them again, grabbing Felix’s hands before closing his eyes once more.

“Night, hyungie.”

He mumbled. Felix kissed his forehead.

“Night, Binnie baby.”

Chapter Text

The next day didn’t start well. Felix woke up hurting all over from sleeping on a chair next to Changbin’s bed. The older boy woke up in headspace, and Felix had to be the one to coax him out of it, because Chan didn’t seem willing to speak. Or to be lenient and let Changbin have the morning off. Felix didn’t know what had happened on the previous day after he ran after Changbin, but he could tell it had had a negative effect on Chan.

“Binnie really have to be big?”

Asked Changbin, pouting at Felix. It made the younger’s heart break. He wanted to pull Changbin into a hug and tell him that no, he didn’t have to be big. He could be little for as long as he wanted, and that he was safe and would be taken care.

Instead, he sighed.

“Yes, Bin, you really have to be big. Come on, I got you your clothes. Can you put them on?”

He asked. He wanted to help Changbin get dressed, wanted to do for him everything he knew Changbin needed at the moment. But he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. Changbin sighed, looking at the clothes.

“Ok.”

He mumbled. Felix hated this day already. He watched as Changbin changed, struggling all the way through. Once he was done, he looked at Felix and nodded. Felix bit on his lip.

“Do you think you can practice, hyung?”

He asked as Changbin finished getting dressed. The older sighed once again. He clearly didn’t want to, his fingers playing with his lower lip and overall behaviour showed Felix that.

“I have to. Chan hyung is already so stressed, I don’t want to be a burden.”

Felix sighed sadly.

“You’re not a burden, hyung, but you’re right. I don’t think we should test Chan’s patience right now.”

Changbin nodded. Felix put a hand on his cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips. Changbin smiled for the first time since leaving his headspace.

“Love you, Lix.”

He mumbled. Felix hugged him tightly.

“Love you too.”

Chan was about ready to murder half of his team.

He knew it wasn’t their fault. The last few days had been stressful for everyone, and it was no one’s fault that Chan’s subconscious had decided to dream about Jisung leaving them. Still, Chan had woken up feeling on edge, and everyone else being moody wasn’t helping him keep calm.

Changbin was the main problem. Chan knew why, he knew Felix had had to pull the boy out of headspace in the morning, and he knew he should have told the two of them to stay a while longer in the dorms, so that Changbin could spend a little more time in headspace. But he was angry, and he had let his emotion take over him, and now they were stuck in the same part of the choreography, because Changbin’s coordination still hadn’t left his headspace, it seemed.

“Ok, again.”

He said. Changbin pouted. Chan could feel a headache coming.

“But hyung…”

He whined, and Chan could practically see everyone tensing up. He took a deep breath. He couldn’t yell at Changbin when he was in such a sensitive state.

“From the start, Changbin, we have to get this right.”

He said, re-starting the song. Everyone moved to their position. They started again, but Chan couldn’t focus on the actual moves when Changbin was dancing with a pout and a frown on his face. He paused the song.

“Changbin. Expression.”

He said. Changbin’s frown only deepened.

“This is hard.”

He complained. It took all Chan had not to go over and shake the boy to get him out of whatever mind-set he was in at the moment.

“I know it’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. Expression.”

He re-started the song. And then again. And again. And then Jisung decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Oh my gods, stop acting like a baby and sulking, hyung. You’re an adult.”

Changbin’s eyes widened. Felix glared at Jisung. Everyone else looked at the boy seeming shocked. And Chan felt anger bubbling in his stomach. He had been patient with Jisung, had
waited, given him time, space, everything. But there was a limit to everything.

“That is enough, Jisung.” Everyone froze. Jisung looked at Chan, eyes wide. “We’ve been putting up with you being moody for days, because we know you’re going through some shit, but there is a limit, and you have crossed it. So apologize to Changbin and stop being a brat. Do you understand?”

For a moment no one moved. Jisung and Chan stared each other, neither wanting to look away first. In the end, Jisung couldn’t take it and looked at the ground.

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

He mumbled. Changbin just nodded, despite the fact that Jisung wouldn’t see it. Chan turned on the music.

“Let’s go again. From the top.”

Woojin looked around, worried. Since his clash with Jisung, Chan hadn’t allowed them to take a proper break. That had been over one hour earlier, and they only stopped when the song was paused for a few seconds, allowing them to drink a bit of water before continuing practice. Everyone was obviously quickly approaching their limit, but Chan didn’t seem willing to stop.

Hyunjin was the worst of them all; after Jisung’s words, Changbin seemed to have snapped out of whatever headspace he had been in. Hyunjin, on the other hand, usually so flexible and passionate about dancing, looked like he was in some sort of pain. And panicking a bit. Woojin noticed him eyeing the clock several times before biting on his lip and looking around, and he knew something was wrong, but Chan wasn’t giving him the time to figure out what.

So Woojin knew he should talk to Chan, try to bring him down from his anger, apologize in Jisung’s name. But he also knew Chan was in a vey delicate moment, and… well, he would definitely stop soon, right? With a sigh, Woojin decided to wait. Just a little longer.

Hyunjin looked at the clock again. Only a few minutes had passed since he last checked, but it felt like hours to his tired limbs and to his overwhelmed mind. And to his bladder. It shouldn’t be a problem. His bladder, that is. Hyunjin hadn’t gone to the bathroom in a while when Chan yelled at Jisung and decided they were now under intensive training, and he did feel like he had to pee, but the urge wasn’t that strong. Definitely not strong enough to justify asking for a break. He was barely even conscious of its presence there.

Now, Hyunjin knew his bladder wasn’t exactly the best. The fact that he still wet the bed proved that, so of course he knew. And he knew that holding for too long would be bad for anyone, most of all for him, and that maybe he should just tell Chan he had to go and leave to use the damn restroom. But it wasn’t as if he was desperate, he really wasn’t, so…

“Come on, guys, again.”

So there was really no need for him to bother Chan and possibly make him even angrier than he already was. With everything that was happening with Seungmin and Jisung, Hyunjin felt more vulnerable than he had ever felt in his life, and telling his group that he needed to leave because he was scared he couldn’t control his bladder would just make things worse. He wasn’t a toddler, he should be able to control it. Especially when he could barely feel the urge to pee at all.

Hyunjin got up. He moved to his place. He wasn’t a toddler. He could do this.

At first, as they restarted the practice, Hyunjin felt nothing at all. Then, as had been happening lately, his eyes drifted to Seungmin, then to Jeongin and Jisung, and his mind was taken by Seungmin’s words and then Jisung’s words, and he felt his heartbeat increasing even more, and not because he was dancing. And then he felt a little pull on his bladder.

Hyunjin’s daytime accidents had stopped happening early enough, thank gods, but they still happened for way longer than what was considered normal, and Hyunjin still remembered them. So when he jumped and his bladder clenched painfully, he knew exactly what was about to happen. Now, if he was someone else, someone with a bladder that matched their physical age, he could probably have held it for long enough to rush to the bathroom and get there just in time. But he wasn’t. His bladder was weak, and he knew he had no chance.

He wanted to run away, maybe find a hole and hide there for the rest of his life. Maybe throw himself out of the window. Instead, due to the pain, he crouched down. The music stopped. Hyunjin knew his eyes were watering. He could feel his underwear and pants growing wet, and he knew the others could see it. He was about ready to die from mortification.

And then someone put a hand on his shoulder, just as he finished soaking his pants. He didn’t dare to look up, the tears clouding his eyes threatening to fall if he moved. As if he hadn’t already humiliated himself enough.

“Jinnie.”

Came Woojin’s voice. Hyunjin heard the door opening and being slammed, but he didn’t care. When Woojin called him again, he broke down crying.

Chapter Text

Chan looked from Hyunjin’s shaking body to Woojin, a silent question in his eyes. When Woojin nodded, Chan rushed after Jisung.

He opened the practice room’s door and caught a glimpse of the boy running towards the stairs and quickly started running after him. He thanked the gods, at that moment, for the fact that Jisung was the least athletic member in their team.

“Jisung. Jisung, stop!”

He called, forcing himself to go just a bit faster. Jisung paid no attention to his words, but it didn’t matter, because soon Chan was right next to him, holding his arm and forcing him to stop running. The boy was panting and looking away from Chan, hands tightened into fists.

“Let me go.”

He pleaded. Chan ignored him, pulling on his arm.

“No. You’ll come with me.”

He said. Jisung tensed, and for a moment Chan thought he was going to refuse. But then Jisung sighed and turned to Chan. The older silently thanked the gods, then quietly pulled him along, until they found an empty studio.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Jisung seemed to lose it, his knees buckling as he fell down face hidden in his hands.

“I fucked up, hyung. I fucked up so badly. So, so badly.”

Chan felt his own eyes watering and crouched down, hesitantly putting his arm around Jisung. When the boy didn’t pull away, Chan tried to hug him. Jisung immediately clung to him, and Chan felt the tears sliding down his face. He had missed Jisung so much.

“Shh, it’ll be ok, Sungie. We’ll fix everything. It’s going to be ok.”

Jisung cried against him, letting Chan rock him and kiss his forehead, leaning into Chan’s touch, and Chan knew Jisung had probably missed this a lot. As much as Chan himself had.

“I’m sorry I’m such a fuckup.”

He said. Chan hugged him tighter.

“You’re not a fuckup. Don’t ever say this again. Seungmin made a mistake and things blew out of proportion. We can’t always control our feelings. He could have been kinder, you could have tried to understand and let us help, I could have been stronger and made you talk and listen. All of us could have done things differently. But in the end, even if we didn’t we’re all still here for each other. We’re family. We may go through rough patches, but we will always have each other.”

Jisung was sobbing against him, but he sounded relieved. Chan hoped this really was the lowest they could go. He really hoped things would start to get better now.

“Hyunjin. Come on, get up.”

Hyunjin obeyed, numbly getting up and hiding behind Woojin, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the others. He was still crying, because no matter how much he tried to stop he couldn’t.

“Hyung…”

Came Felix voice. Woojin cut him off.

“You guys clean everything up and gather your things, then go home.”

He said, and then Hyunjin was being pulled away. When he noticed they were heading towards the door he whimpered, trying to pull away from Woojin.

“No. No, please.”

He pleaded. Woojin stopped, pulling him closer.

“Don’t worry, Jinnie. No one will see you, I promise.”

He said, voice softer than Hyunjin had ever heard. Hyunjin gripped Woojin’s hand tighter. He had to focus. He couldn’t let himself fall.

Woojin pulled him along the hallway until the room Hyunjin recognized as Chan’s studio. He tried to time his breath, tried to calm down and ignore the mess inside his head. Unfortunately, the feeling of his pants sticking to him and the embarrassment of what had just happened were making it very hard for him to supress everything he had been trying to keep bottled since years ago.

Woojin helped him sit down – which also did nothing to calm Hyunjin down – and then sat on the couch, facing Hyunjin.

“Jinnie, can you tell me what happened?”

He asked, carefully. Hyunjin pulled his legs up and crossed his arms over them, feeling way too vulnerable to be comfortable.

“I think you can see what happened, hyung.”

He said, knowing fully well that he was being rude. Woojin didn’t seem to mind.

“You have never had an accident during the day like this, Jinnie.”

He said. Hyunjin felt his eyes watering. Again.

Woojin could tell exactly what was happening as he pulled Hyunjin out of the room and the boy immediately started biting on his nails. It was the reason he chose Chan’s studio, where they kept a few of Jisung’s things for when he was regressed. He just had to be very careful, now, because Hyunjin was clearly in a fragile state.

Hyunjin was uncomfortable, that much was clear. And Woojin knew it wasn’t just because of his – surely itchy – wet clothes. Woojin also knew why he was so uncomfortable, curling up on himself as if he wanted to disappear.

“You have never had an accident during the day like this, Jinnie.”

He said, as softly as he could. It still made Hyunjin’s eyes water, and Woojin sighed and moved closer, squeezing the boy’s shoulder.

“I didn’t… Chan hyung… I’m not a baby.”

Was what the boy ended up saying. Woojin nodded.

“We know you’re not a baby.”

He said. Hyunjin sniffed.

“Chan hyung didn’t let us take a break.”

He mumbled. Woojin frowned.

“And why didn’t you ask to use the bathroom? Chan wouldn’t have denied.”

He said. Hyunjin groaned, seeming frustrated.

“Because I’m supposed to be an adult! I, I didn’t even have to go that badly. I shouldn’t be whining about needing the bathroom, I should be able to hold it in, and, and not make a mess.”

He said, tears once again flowing down his cheeks. Woojin made Hyunjin look at him, shaking his head.

“Jinnie, you have a condition. As an adult. You need the bathroom more often than other people. This doesn’t make you a baby, or inferior to us or anyone else.”

He said. He knew that wasn’t the problem, but it was a way to get Hyunjin to talk about what actually was the problem. The boy shook his head.

“I didn’t even have to go that bad, hyung. I didn’t!”

He said, and Woojin frowned.

“Then what happened?”

He asked. Hyunjin closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again, not looking at Woojin.

“It happens… it happens when I get to stressed. Focus too much on what’s bothering me and forget…” Hyunjin groaned, pressing his hands against his eyes. “Can’t be a baby. Can’t act like a baby. Seungmin…”

He said, clearly trying to focus. Woojin only thought for a second before speaking up.

“As I said, you have a condition. And Seungmin was wrong.”

He emphasized his last words. Hyunjin’s eyes widened and he looked at Woojin, seeming scared.

“Hyung, what…?”

He said. Woojin smiled softly.

“Seungmin was wrong, Jinnie. Even he knows that. The fact that you need to use the bathroom more often and that you sometimes can’t tell when you have to go and had an accident doesn’t make you a baby. But, and here is where Minnie was wrong, there’s nothing wrong if sometimes you want to be just that.”

He said. He could see Hyunjin gripping his own shirt tightly.

“How, how did you…?”

Tried to ask the younger. Woojin shrugged.

“I’m good at reading people.” He said, and then, noticing how Hyunjin was chewing on his lip, decided to risk it. “Can you let hyung help you out of those wet clothes? They’re probably icky and cold, right?”

He could see the moment Hyunjin finally let go. Now he just needed to figure out how to tell the others about this.

Once Jisung had stopped crying, Chan pulled back a bit, still holding the boy. He didn’t want to let go. He was scared that if he did Jisung would run away again, and leave him behind.

“I, I’ve been trying so hard, hyung.” Said Jisung, leaning against Chan. “I’ve been trying, but it won’t go away, it just gets worse. I even threw everything away, but it made no difference, and I couldn’t even… I wasn’t even strong enough…”

Chan interrupted him pulling the boy closer.

“Sungie, you’re doing this all wrong, baby. You’re fighting yourself and you don’t even notice. This won’t end well, you have to stop.”

He said. Jisung groaned, closing his hands into fists as if he wanted to hit something.

“I don’t want to be a freak.”

He said, voice higher pitched than usual from pure frustration. Chan sighed and moved so that he was sitting in front of Jisung and looking into his eyes.

“You are not a freak.” He said, firmly. He needed Jisung to understand that. “Sungie, I know what Seungmin said, and I know what you think. But you’re wrong, both of you. And Seungmin apologized, and he wants to apologize to you too and explain, but he can’t if you don’t listen to him. And even if you do listen to him, it won’t make a difference if you’re not listening to yourself.”

Jisung’s eyes were wide, and Chan wanted nothing more than to hug him, but he had to get this through to Jisung before that.

“I am listening to myself.”

Said the boy. Chan shook his head.

“You’re not. At least not with your heart. For a second try to think without society’s rules and ideas, past everyone else’s opinions. Close your eyes and listen, Sungie.”

Jisung hesitated for a moment, but obeyed. He closed his eyes. Chan held his hand. Jisung bit on his lip and his hold on Chan’s hand tightened.

“Hyung…” he called. Chan squeezed his hand. Jisung opened his eyes. “I need it so much.”

Chan smiled at him and pulled him into a hug, and he couldn’t be happier when Jisung moved to sit on his lap as he hugged him.

They stayed like that for quite some time, before Chan spoke up.

“I’ll be here to help you, Sungie. Always. Ok?”

Jisung nodded, then sighed.

“I hurt Jinnie.”

He said. Chan’s mind immediately went back to the boy, his heart aching.

“I think we all did. We should have paid more attention to him. Even if he refused to talk to anyone about what was bothering him.”

Jisung sniffed and Chan hugged him closer.

“If I hadn’t been so stupid…”

He mumbled. Chan shook his head.

“We all make mistakes, Sungie. All we can do now is sit down and talk. All of us, together. And we need to listen and stop running away from things.”

Jisung looked up at him and Chan kissed his forehead. Jisung gave him a teary smile, before going back to chewing on his lip. Chan smiled back, and then pulled away from Jisung slightly. The boy’s little whimper broke his heart, but it would take him only a second.

He reached for his bag, then pulled something out. He knew the exact moment Jisung saw what Chan was holding, because the boy gasped.

“H-hyung…”

He said. Chan smiled gently.

“Open up, come on.”

He said.

Jisung looked as if he was fighting a war against himself for a second. Then he hesitantly opened his mouth. Chan tried not to smile as widely as he wanted to. He softly placed the pacifier between Jisung’s lips, kissing the boy’s cheek as Jisung immediately started sucking on it. Jisung blushed and hid his face on Chan’s neck, letting Chan snake his arms around him.

“Whe’e di’ you fin’ it, ‘yung?”

He asked, voice soft. Chan tightened his grip on Jisung’s shirt.

“Felix… Lix found them on the trash.”

He felt Jisung flinch and pressed a kiss to his forehead. The boy relaxed slightly.

“I di’n’t… di’n’t mean to, ‘yung.”

He said. Chan shook his head.

“We don’t have to talk about this now.”

He promised. Jisung relaxed completely at those words. Chan kissed the top of his head.

‘Please let this be the end of this mess.’ Thought the leader.

Chapter Text

Woojin couldn’t help but to smile as Hyunjin quietly let him clean him up and redress him in one of Jisung’s diapers – for emergencies and extra-little headspace only – and Woojin’s own hoodie, plus his extra sweatpants. It was very clear, to Woojin, that this was something Hyunjin had been repressing for a while. It was obvious from the way Hyunjin had simply let his headspace wash over him as soon as he noticed it was safe to, and was now basking on every careful touch from Woojin.

It pained him a bit, too, to know that Hyunjin knew about this and knew this about himself, but had never felt safe enough to share that with Woojin or any of the other boys. Then again, he had a feeling Hyunjin had never even let himself think about this, pushing it to the back of his mind way more successfully than Jisung.

He looked at the boy. Hyunjin had stuck his thumb in his mouth and was sucking on it quietly. Woojin smiled.

“All done, Jinnie. Feel better?”

Hyunjin smiled at him shyly and nodded as Woojin helped him sit up.

“Feel better.”

He said, around his thumb. Woojin chuckled, ruffling his hair and then brushing his fingers against Hyunjin’s hand.

“Baby, can you let go of your thumb?”

He asked. Hyunjin frowned and shook his head. Woojin hummed and pushed his chair back, opening Chan’s drawer and looking around it. He thanked the gods when he found Jisung’s fox pacifier there. Had it been the space one he would have had to allow Hyunjin to just suck on his thumb.

“Ok, I guess you don’t want this, then.”

He said, dismissively waving the pacifier around. Hyunjin’s mouth fell open and he whined, kneeling on the couch.

“Hyungie! Want it!”

He said, whiny voice making Woojin laugh.

“I thought you wanted to suck on your thumb?”

He teased. Hyunjin pouted and crossed his arms, probably trying to seem threatening or scary. It wasn’t working.

“Want it!”

He said. Woojin snorted. They would have to fix that attitude. Later, though. Now was not the time for this.

Chan helped Jisung stand up after a while. The boy accepted the help, then hesitantly held Chan’s hand. Chan felt his heart warming up and squeezed the boy’s hand.

“Woojin asked me to stop by the studio before leaving.” He said. “Do you mind?”

Jisung shook his head, pulling his pacifier out and handing it to Chan. The action made the leader notice that Jisung was still holding a few things back. He took a deep breath and tried not to panic too much. Of course Jisung wouldn’t throw himself right back into his headspace after one single talk. There was nothing to panic about, they would talk about everything calmly over the next few days, and Jisung would soon be back to his normal cute self.

The two of them made their way through the corridor, and Chan noticed Jisung chewing on the sleeve of his free hand. He chose not say anything, at least not for now. Then they arrived at the studio and Chan opened the door, and the two of them froze.

“Oh, you’re here.”

Said Woojin, with a smile, but Chan was focused on something else. More specifically, on Hyunjin’s sleeping form on Woojin’s lap.

“Is that Sungie’s paci?”

He asked. Woojin snorted.

“Come in and close the door, Channie.”

“So this is what has been bothering him…”

Said Chan. He was currently sitting on the couch, Jisung as close to him as possible without sitting on his lap. Woojin sighed.

“It must have sucked. To hear his boyfriend, of all people, talk like that.”

By Chan’s side, Jisung whimpered and hid his face on Chan’s chest. Chan immediately brought a hand up to caress the boy’s hair.

“What are we going to do?”

Asked Chan. Woojin looked at Hyunjin.

“I…”

Before he could finish, however, Hyunjin squirmed, moving around a bit before opening his eyes. A second later he was sitting up and whimpering, hiding behind Woojin.

“Hyungie…”

He whined, gripping Woojin’s shirt tightly. Woojin choked for a second, before pulling Hyunjin’s hands away from his shirt so he could breathe and pulling the boy to his lap carefully.

“Jinnie, it’s ok. It’s only Channie and Sungie.”

He said, voice soft. Chan was entranced by Hyunjin. Then he noticed the little and Woojin looking at him and let his face soften, smiling at Hyunjin.

“Hey there, Jinnie.”

He greeted. Hyunjin looked at him for a few seconds before replying.

“Hi.”

He said, shyly. Chan smiled widely. Hyunjin’s voice was higher pitched than his usual voice, and he spoke way more softly. Chan turned to Jisung, intending to ask the boy to greet Hyunjin. Instead, he was met with the sight of Jisung hugging his knees, trying not to look at the boy on Woojin’s lap. The leader frowned.

“Sungie?”

He called. Jisung shook his head.

“C-can’t, can’t look, I’ll slip.”

He mumbled. Chan frowned and made Jisung look at him.

“Sungie, we talked…”

Jisung shook his head.

“I know, hyung, it’s not… I don’t… I don’t know how little I’ll go if I let myself slip now.”

He finally admitted.

“Oh.”

Said Chan, understanding. He couldn’t say he wasn’t a bit excited. Extra little Jisung was adorable.

“I promise I’ll, I’ll try to…” He groaned, not able to finish his sentence. “Just not now, ok?”

He pleaded. Chan nodded, squeezing his knee.

“Whenever you’re ready, Sungie. And only then.”

Said the leader. He was rewarded with a soft shy smile, before turning back to Woojin and Hyunjin.

“Well.” He said. Hyunjin squirmed on Woojin’s lap and pouted, hiding against the older. Chan sighed. “I’ll take Sungie home, but the two of you can stay a while longer.”

He said. He wanted to spend time with little Hyunjin, but he also wanted Hyunjin to be comfortable, and he knew it would be hard with so many people around when he was in such a fragile state. Woojin nodded.

“He’ll probably be out of headspace soon. Then we’ll go home.”

He said. Chan nodded and pecked Woojin on the lips. Then he offered Jisung a hand and the two of them walked out.

As they left the company, Chan pushed away all of his worries about the conversation they would have once everyone was home and rested enough to make any sense. He smiled at Jisung.

“Wanna get some ice-cream?”

Jisung smiled back.

Chapter Text

Woojin almost choked on his own saliva as Hyunjin jolted up, practically falling from the sofa as he woke up from his second nap of the day.

“Shit.” The older mumbled, placing his hand over his heart. “You almost gave me a heart attack, Jinnie.”

He said. Hyunjin looked directly into his eyes. Then his lower lip wobbled and he pulled his knees against his chest, burying his face in them and promptly breaking down crying. Woojin froze for a moment, completely caught off guard. Then his instincts kicked in and he got up, rushing to Hyunjin and sitting next to the boy. He pulled Hyunjin’s arms from around his legs and tried to get the boy to look at him.

“Jinnie, hey…” Hyunjin continued to sob, and instead of looking at Woojin he buried his face on the older’s chest and clung to Woojin like a koala. “Jinnie, baby, it’s ok.”

Hyunjin shrieked.

“D-don’t call me t-that!”

He said, trying to pull Woojin away and closer at the same time. Woojin took a second to notice the boy was no longer in headspace. He internally cursed, before gently taking both of Hyunjin’s wrists and pining them to the boy’s chest with one hand. Then he hugged Hyunjin, shushing him and rubbing his back with his free hand. Hyunjin stopped struggling, which had been Woojin’s goal, and soon he was only crying silently. Woojin’s heart was breaking.

After a few moments, Woojin pulled back, letting go of Hyunjin’s wrists. The boy didn’t re-start his fight.

“Are you feeling better?”

Woojin asked. Hyunjin pressed his hands against his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

He said, choking up slightly. Woojin frowned.

“If this is about you being little, then…”

Woojin was interrupted before he could finish.

“I’m not! I’m, I’m not… that!”

Said Hyunjin, seeming panicked. Woojin took a deep breath. ‘Gods give me strength.’ He pleaded, before pulling Hyunjin’s hands away from his eyes.

“Jinnie, there’s nothing wrong with being a little.”

He said, looking into Hyunjin’s eyes. The boy shook his head.

“It’s fucked up.”

He said, angry. It took all Woojin had not to groan.

“You know Seungmin didn’t mean that.”

He said. Hyunjin frowned.

“This is not… Seungmin doesn’t… I have my own opinion.”

He insisted. Woojin shook his head.

“Not about this. You think you have your opinion, and you think you find it weird, but you don’t. You’re letting what other people say and what you think other people will say influence how you think.”

He said. Hyunjin looked on the verge of crying again.

“How can you accept this so easily, hyung?”

He asked, after a few moments. Woojin’s eyes softened.

“It’s just not that weird for me. I’ve known about age regression for quite some time, I have friends out of our group who do it. And I see nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of at times.” He explained. “We live stressful lives, Jinnie. If this is what helps you cope, then accept it and use it. It’s such a harmless coping mechanism, there are so many other coping mechanisms which are much less healthy.”

Hyunjin seemed to be taking in Woojin’s words, and the older silently thanked the gods. Then Hyunjin sighed, looking down.

“Minnie and Innie w-won’t want me.”

He said, and Woojin noticed his eyes watering again. He resisted the urge to rub his temples.

“Wrong again. Innie loves taking care of Sungie, and he loves it when Sungie is little. And he still loves Sungie when he isn’t little, and still looks up to him, respects him and all of that. It’s not that hard to separate little you from not-little you.”

He said. Hyunjin had started picking on the loose strings at his shirt’s hem. A good sign, because it meant he was no longer angry – with himself or Woojin –, just uncomfortable and maybe a bit embarrassed.

“Minnie…”

Woojin interrupted the boy before he could finish.

“Jinnie, trust me when I say Seungmin won’t mind. I know what he said, and I know it hurt to hear him say that, but he doesn’t actually think that. I know he doesn’t, and you do too, deep in your heart.”

He said. Hyunjin sighed, letting go of his shirt and finally looking up. His eyes were dry.

“Can… can we not tell them about me yet? I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Woojin smiled. That was way better than denial.

“Channie and Sungie already know, but we don’t have to tell the others.”

Hyunjin managed a tiny little smile, and it was so shy Woojin could barely see it. But it was genuine and gave Woojin hope that maybe this would be easier than he had thought.

The living room was completely silent. It was a feat, really, considering the nine boys sitting in there, and it was way too similar to the time, days earlier, Chan had told the others about Jisung. The scene was unnerving. Everyone was clearly trying to seem relaxed, despite the fact that they were all so clearly tense. Which was why, after a few moments in silence, Chan sighed and spoke up.

“Ok. I think we all know why we’re here, but we should make things clear anyways.” Everyone seemed relieved to see Chan taking the lead and starting the inevitable conversation. “A while ago we talked about age regression and talked about Sungie and Binnie being littles. Seungmin had a bit of a… bad reaction, let’s say.”

Chan noticed Seungmin looking down. He cleared his throat.

“But he wasn’t the only one who made a mistake. All of us did something wrong. We were too angry, too quick to judge, too scared to seek help, and all of that is what brought us to this… uhn, let’s say less than desirable situation.” After saying that, he took a deep breath. “I want to be the first to apologize. I’m sorry, Jisung, that I left you on your own when what you needed was someone there to help you see that everything was ok. I’m sorry, Seungmin, that I didn’t try to get everyone to listen to your apology. And I’m sorry, Binnie, for today. I forced you out of headspace and made you go to practice, and that was a big mistake. I hope you can forgive me.”

Chan could hear his heart beating in his ears as he finished speaking. It was difficult, for him, to admit that he was wrong. But it had to be done, and he needed to learn how to do it, anyways. The room was once again silent. Then Changbin spoke up.

“I accept your apology, hyung.” He said, softly. Chan smiled at him. “But you own me pancakes.”

He said, making everyone around the room chuckle. The air immediately became lighter, and Chan thanked the heavens for Changbin.

“I accept your apology too, hyung.” Said Seungmin. Chan turned to look at the boy. “And I own you an apology, Jisungie. I… what I said was stupid, rude and not true at all. I told Chan hyung already. I said that because… well, I spent my whole life being told that I should grow up, and that I needed to stop acting like a baby. My mom was telling me that when I was three, so you can see how that got through to me. I know it doesn’t… excuse what I said. But I hope you can understand and at least try to forgive me.”

Chan smiled proudly. He knew Seungmin had a hard time expressing his feelings, and he was glad the boy had managed to find the right words to say what he meant. Then he turned to Jisung. The boy was biting on his lip. Chan itched to go over and pull it from between his lips, but remained still.

“I… I understand.” Said the boy. “I can’t say I forgive you now, but I understand. And I really love you, Minnie, I accept your apology and I really hope we can become close again. I’m sorry, too, for not listening to you earlier.”

He said. Seungmin smiled.

“And for the record, I looked it up. It’s… it’s kind of cute. This age regression thing.”

Chan bit on his lip to keep himself from smiling as Jisung blushed.

“Thank you, Min.” He turned to Changbin, then looked around. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry to everyone. I know I made the last days hell for you. I was rude and moody and pushed all of you away. I’m especially sorry to Chan hyung and Innie. I know I hurt you. I hope you can forgive me. I’m sorry, Minho hyung. You tried talking to me over these days and I… I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry, Minnie, for not listening. And I’m sorry, Binnie hyung. I said some really stupid shit to you yesterday and today, and there’s no excuse for this type of behaviour. So, I’m sorry.”

Chan had already forgiven Jisung, but he worriedly looked at the others, waiting for a reaction. He just really wanted this to be over and for them to go back to normal. Jeongin was the first one to speak up.

“I forgive you, hyung. I know you were just trying to protect yourself, and I know you didn’t intend to hurt us. But please don’t do anything like this again. We love you a lot and we hate to see you hurting.”

He said. Jisung nodded. Chan smiled at Jeongin, silently thanking him for being such an angel. Changbin nodded, agreeing with the maknae.

“Same goes for me, Sungie. I know you didn’t mean to say what you did, and that you don’t really believe the things you said. At least not for real. I won’t say I’m not a bit hurt. But like you told Minnie: I love you a lot and I want to be close to you again.”

Chan watched as the others nodded and agreed with Changbin’s words. He sighed in relief. Then he noticed Jisung was looking at him, seeming nervous. He gave the boy a tiny smile.

“You know I forgive you, Sungie.”

Was all he said, because he knew his tone was enough to get the message across. Then Jisung turned to Minho. The boy also offered a smile.

“Of course I accept your apology, Sungie. But we’ll have to talk later.”

Chan bit on his lip and Jisung deflated, curling in on himself. The boy still nodded. Then Jeongin spoke up.

“I think I own you an apology too, Min hyung. I’m sorry I refused to talk to you and was an ass.”

He said. Everyone laughed at the careless wording, but Chan knew Jeongin actually meant what he said. Seungmin did, too, because he smiled and he seemed relieved.

“Accepted.”

Jeongin smiled.

“You, me and Hyunjin hyung still have to talk, though.”

He said. And that brought the attention to the boy who had been quiet for the whole time. Chan noticed the boy trying to hide behind Woojin as the attention shifted to him. The leader looked at the oldest. Woojin shook his head. Chan nodded. So Hyunjin didn’t want to tell them yet. Chan was ready to call it a day, when Felix spoke up.

“Jinnie. Are you ok?”

He asked. Chan glanced at Hyunjin. The boy was trying to look as small as possible.

“Yeah.”

He replied. Felix bit on his lip, then spoke again.

“I think we need to apologize to Jinnie, too. All of us. Cause he was having a hard time and we didn’t care.”

Chan’s heart melted. He hadn’t even considered that option, because he already knew what Hyunjin’s problem was. He didn’t even stop to think the others didn’t know, and that all of them should apologize for being neglectful.

“We do.” He said. Then he turned to Hyunjin. “I’m very sorry, Jinnie. I’m supposed to be the leader and to take care of you guys, but I lost my focus and let you suffer on your own. That wasn’t very nice of me, I promise I won’t do it again.”

He said. Hyunjin gave him a tiny nod.

“I-It’s ok.”

He said. Chan shook his head.

“It’s not ok. You can forgive me, but it’s not ok that I did that.”

Hyunjin nodded, understanding what Chan meant.

“I forgive you, then.”

He said. Chan smiled.

“I’m sorry too, hyung.” Said Jeongin. “I was a bad friend and a bad boyfriend for not trying to get you to talk.”

He said. Seungmin nodded.

“Me too. I got scared you would push me away like Innie and didn’t try to help.”

Hyunjin gave them a shy smile. Chan smiled to himself as he watched.

“I forgive you two, too.”

Jeongin pouted.

“Hyung, you’re supposed to use this to demand cuddles and presents.”

He said. Everyone chuckled, and Hyunjin said more relaxed.

“I want Innie to be in the middle next time we cuddle, then.”

He said, and everyone laughed again, because they were all aware of Jeongin’s hate for being in the middle of a Seungmin and Hyunjin sandwich. It was usually Hyunjin’s job to be in the middle. The maknae groaned.

“I should have stayed quiet.”

He mumbled. And one by one they all apologized to Hyunjin, and Chan was glad to see the boy relaxing more and more as the conversation went on. When Changbin finished apologizing, Hyunjin sighed.

“I… it isn’t fair if you are the only ones to apologize.” He said. “Part of the reason you didn’t help was because I pushed you away. So I’m sorry I didn’t recognize I needed help and… and made a mess.”

The last part came out as a whisper, but everyone knew what the boy was talking about. Woojin sat up straighter.

“You don’t have to apologize for that last part.”

He said. Everyone around the room hummed in agreement or nodded. Hyunjin sighed.

“Maybe I don’t. But you guys have the right to know why I was so upset, so…”

He took a shaky breath. Woojin placed a hand on his knee.

“Jinnie, you don’t have to.”

He said. Hyunjin shook his head.

“I want to.” He said. “I… I was really upset when Seungmin talked like that about age regression, because… well. It’s something I’ve been telling myself for years. When you guys said Jisungie regressed I had a moment where I thought that maybe… maybe this was it, I had finally found people who would accept me despite this. And it’s ridiculous that I built up so much hope in such a short span of time, but I did, and then… and then when Minnie said what he said it was worse than when I was telling that to myself, cause I had had the tinniest little taste of what it would be like not to have to hide, and then…”

Chan noticed, with a startle, that the boy was on the verge of crying. Woojin seemed to notice, too, because he put his arm around Hyunjin, letting the younger hide against him. The room was silent for a second, then Felix spoke up.

“Jinnie, are you saying you regress, too?”

He asked. Hyunjin sighed, but nodded, still shaking a bit. Seungmin made a pained noise on the back of his throat.

“Jinnie, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t trying to…”

Hyunjin shook his head quickly at that, drying his eyes and sitting up.

“You’ve apologized and explained, Minnie. And it’s o… I forgive you. Really. I just wanted you all to know.”

He said. Chan looked around. He smiled a bit when he noticed most of the looks on the others’ faces were of excitement. Changbin smiled at Hyunjin.

“Well, that means we can regress together, now. You, me and Sungie.”

He said. Chan chuckled as Hyunjin blushed, eyes sparkling with interest.

“We can?”

He asked. Changbin nodded.

“Of course! Right, Sungie?”

Chan’s attention immediately turned to Jisung. The boy bit on his lip.

“I-I guess we can.” He said. Hyunjin seemed to deflate a bit, but before Chan could intervene, Jisung explained himself. “No, it’s not like that! I just… I, it’ll take a while for me to…”

He said, trying to find the right words. Chan was tempted to help, but decided to watch and see where Jisung would get by himself. Changbin spoke up.

“We’ll help you, Sungie. Promise.”

He said. Jisung smiled.

“Thank you, hyung.”

Hyunjin smiled too.

“I would love that, then.”

He said. Chan sighed in relief. At least now they were one step closer to recovering.

Chapter Text

Hyunjin let Jeongin drag him and Seungmin into their room after Chan told them it was time to get ready for dinner. He knew they would have to talk sooner or later. At least like this they could get rid of the tension between them quickly and get this over with so they could cuddle again.

“Ok. Now talk.”

Said Jeongin as they all settled down on Hyunjin’s bed. Seungmin chuckled.

“You were the one who dragged us here, weirdo.”

He said. Jeongin pouted. Hyunjin chuckled at the cute face. He had really missed his boyfriends. Still, he felt a bit self-conscious now that they knew about him. The fears he had expressed to Woojin were taking his head once again, and he mentally thanked the older for convincing him to wear a pull-up for the rest of the day. Just in case. He was still extremely nervous, and he didn’t need that to cause another accident.

“Jinnie, you look constipated.”

Said Jeongin, bringing Hyunjin back to reality. He blushed.

“Oh, I… sorry.”

He said. Jeongin frowned.

“See? This is why we need to talk!”

He said. Seungmin looked at Hyunjin, face soft and a bit worried.

“Jinnie?”

He called. Hyunjin sighed.

“I’m fine. Just… a bit embarrassed about today.”

He said. It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the answer to Seungmin’s unvoiced question. Jeongin’s frown deepened.

“About your accident or about what you told the others?”

He asked. Hyunjin blushed, looking down and letting his hands run over the hem of his hoodie, desperately searching for loose strings to pull on.

“Both.” He said. “But I’ll be fine.

He rushed to complete. Apparently, he had underestimated the intelligence and perception of his boyfriends, though, because neither looked impressed.

“You do know we won’t just let you get away with this answer, right, hyung?” Asked Jeongin. “We made the mistake of not making you talk once. We won’t do that again.”

He said. Hyunjin found a loose string. He immediately held it between his fingers, twirling it around in repetitive patterns. Seungmin was significantly softer than Jeongin when he spoke up.

“We can tell something is still bothering you, Jinnie. Please tell us. We just want to see you happy.”

He said. Hyunjin looked down. His breath was stuck on his throat. He didn’t want to voice his worries, the fear of them being confirmed weighting down on him. Jeongin put a hand on his knee. Hyunjin took a deep breath.

“I’m scared you won’t want me anymore.”

He said. His voice came out quieter than it ever had, but he knew the other two had heard, because they both froze. Then, a second later, Jeongin making Hyunjin look up and pressing his lips to Hyunjin’s while Seungmin hugged him from the back. It was an awkward position, and Jeongin was being too aggressive, but Hyunjin was too stunted to care. Plus, he had missed their touch so much he didn’t want this to stop.

It did stop, though, a second later. Jeongin pulled back, and Seungmin pecked his now bruised lip softly, soothingly.

“Does that look like we are about to break up with you, hyung?”

Asked Jeongin. Hyunjin looked down embarrassed, still twirling the loose string on his finger.

“I-I…”

He tried to say. Seungmin interrupted him.

“We aren’t. Just to make sure you get it.”

He said. Jeongin nodded.

“We love you, hyung. We love you a lot, and these last few days were a nightmare without you, and I’m sure Minnie thought so, too.”

He said. Hyunjin looked up to see Seungmin nodding, before speaking up.

“And if you think we’ll break up with you because you told us you regress… I’ve told Sungie already. I looked it up. It’s kind of cute once you get used to it. And even if I didn’t think that, I would never lose you to something so silly. I would accept it’s part of you and we would find a way to work with it, a way that would be good for all of us.”

Hyunjin bit on his lip. Seungmin wasn’t prone to confessions like this one.

“You would do that?”

He asked. Seungmin smiled, and it was a bit sad, but it was also a promise.

“There are very few things in this world I wouldn’t do for you, Hwang Hyunjin.”

He said. And then all three of them burst out giggling, because Seungmin saying that was ridiculous. It was true, Hyunjin knew the boy actually meant it. But it was still ridiculous, and they were all a bit drunk on the happiness of being back together. So they burst out laughing and fell down on the bed on top of each other, a giggling mess of limbs, until they rearranged themselves into a cuddle pile, their laughter dying down and leaving behind only smiles. Jeongin kissed Hyunjin’s temple.

“Want me to be in the middle?”

He asked. Hyunjin shook his head.

“Not now.” He said. “I love you.”

He completed, a second later. Seungmin rubbed his nose softly against Hyunjin’s cheek.

“Love you too.”

He said. Jeongin chuckled.

“I love you guys too. But you do know you just destroyed that hoodie, right, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened and he looked at the place he had been pulling on. The loose string was now the size of his arm, and the hoodie’s hem was ruined.

“Fuck.” Said Hyunjin. “Woojin hyung is going to kill me.”

Jisung took a look at Minho as everyone started to get up and sighed. By his side, Chan nudged him.

“Go. I don’t know what you did, but I’m sure you own him an explanation and maybe another apology.”

Jisung pouted at the older, but he knew Chan was right. He did own Minho an explanation and an apology.

“I… what if he…?”

Chan shook his head.

“Talk to him, Sungie. Only he can tell you what is going on in his head.”

Jisung sighed, but got up. Minho offered him a slight smile, which at least calmed Jisung down a bit. Then the boy offered him a hand and Jisung took it, steeling himself for the likely break-up he was about to go through.

They took quite some time to start talking after making themselves comfortable in Minho’s room. That wasn’t normal for either of them, both prone to talking their heads off. But the situation wasn’t normal, either, so. Jisung’s lip was already bitten raw and hurting, but he couldn’t stop himself from chewing on it. And he definitely didn’t want to be sucking on a pacifier as his boyfriend broke up with him.

The silence was a bit unnerving. Jisung wanted to say something just so that they could get this over with, but his mind was blank. And then, just as he was about to give up and just fling himself out of the window, Minho spoke up.

“Sungie. Leave your poor lip alone, love.”

He said. Jisung immediately let go of his now-probably-bleeding lip, his cheeks reddening.

“Sorry.”

He said. Minho waved him off.

“Ok. Well. About earlier…”

Jisung didn’t let him finish. Maybe it was the panic, or the need to post-pone the bad news Minho was about to give him, but for whatever reasons his mind had suddenly decided to provide him with thousand of things to say to the older.

“Actually, I… I wanted to apologize to you.” He said. Minho raised an eyebrow, but let Jisung talk. “Uhn, the other day you… you came to talk to me. After all of that mess with Min. And I was… well, I was an asshole. I didn’t even let you speak, and then I shoved you out of my bed. I, I didn’t even ask you if you were ok after. I’m really sorry about that, hyung. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need to let you know I’m sorry.”

Jisung glanced at the boy to see him frowning. Shit. Had he fucked things up even more?

“What do you mean you don’t deserve my forgiveness?”

Asked Minho. Jisung shrugged. He didn’t want to say he didn’t feel worthy of it, although that was exactly what he felt.

“I just don’t.”

He said, instead.

“Sungie, you were scared. Scared and hurt, and trying to protect yourself. Of course it wasn’t the ideal reaction, shoving your boyfriend out of your bed is never a good reaction. But it’s not the end of the world, and I know why you did it.”

Said the older. Jisung felt his eyes watering. Fuck, was he really going to cry, now? He knew he was a cry-baby when in headspace, but he wasn’t that prone to crying when he wasn’t feeling little. Why was he about to cry now, of all times? He looked down.

“Don’t say that word.”

He mumbled. He could feel Minho panicking at his shaky voice.

“What? What word? What… are you crying? Sung, why are you crying, love?”

Minho’s voice was slightly panicked, now, and Jisung felt guilty for causing the boy even more trouble.

“I-I know what you’ll say. I can’t… don’t call me your boyfriend when you…”

He couldn’t speak properly, too busy trying to stop those stupid salty tears that insisted on running down his face. The fact that his little side was begging to come out wasn’t helping, either.

“Sungie…” started Minho, and then he pulled Jisung into a hug, holding him tightly. “Sungie, please tell me you don’t think I’ll break up with you.”

He asked. Jisung could only hide against him and try to breathe and calm down.

“Y-you should.”

He said. He didn’t want Minho to, but the boy deserved something better. Someone who didn’t walk around sucking on a pacifier and playing with toys half of the time. Someone who would treat him right and…

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Asked Minho, and Jisung looked up, panicking. He hadn’t said that, why would Minho…? “I have the cutest, prettiest, most handsome boyfriend in the world. He’s kind, sweet, gentle, a great friend and overall person. And you’re asking me to break up with him?”

Jisung was a bit confused. Minho… wasn’t about to break up with him?

“Wh-what?”

Minho frowned.

“Sungie, did you seriously think I was going to break up with you?”

He asked, voice a bit hurt, a bit worried. Jisung looked down, biting on his lip before wincing and letting it go.

“I… why would you stay with me?”

He asked. Minho’s frown just deepened.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He asked back. Jisung shrugged, then sighed.

“I, you shouldn’t date someone who’s always acting like a baby.”

He decided to say. Minho rolled his eyes.

“Ok, first of all, stop telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, you sound like my mom. Second, do you think Lix and Bin should break up?”

Jisung frowned.

“W-what?”

He asked. Minho shrugged.

“Bin regresses too. Hyunjinnie too, should Jeongin and Seungmin break up with him?”

Jisung frantically shook his head.

“No! Of course not, they…”

He stopped himself, understanding what Minho was saying. He bit on his lip before whimpering in pain and letting it go. Minho sighed.

“Right after the mess with Seungmin I went to talk to Lix and Bin. I wasn’t too sure how I felt about you regressing, because I knew nothing about it, and I wasn’t sure how it worked. But they explained it to me, and they told me what it was like for them to date despite that. And guess what?”

Jisung managed to stop himself from biting his lip on the last second, fiddling with his ear, instead.

“W-what?”

Minho rolled his eyes fondly.

“It makes no difference to them. Changbin regresses and Lix takes care of him. And when he’s not regressed they have little dates, kiss, make out, fu…”

Jisung’s cheeks immediately became red.

“Ok! Ok, I get it.”

He said, feeling weirdly hot all over. Minho chuckled, before becoming serious again.

“I meant it, though, Sungie. This will change nothing. The only difference is that now I… well, if you let me, I would love to help the others take care of you.”

He said. Jisung’s eyes widened. Had he heard right? Was Minho really offering to be his caregiver?

“Y-you… you would do that, hyung?”

He asked. Minho nodded, and he was strangely serious.

“Of course. That’s what I brought you here for in the first time, Sungie. None of that break-up bullshit. Of course I also brought you to demand ‘I’m sorry’ cuddles, but that’s lower on my list of priorities.”

Jisung eyed Minho for a second, before hesitantly leaning forward. He stopped inches away from Minho’s face, searching the boy’s eyes and trying to ask for what he wanted. Minho smiled and leaned the rest of the way, pressing his lips against Jisung’s. Jisung closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss, letting himself melt against Minho.

When they parted, Jisung chased the older’s lips for a second, before opening his eyes.

“I missed you.”

He said, voice soft because he was scared of shattering the moment if he was too loud. Minho pecked his lips again.

“I missed you too. And I love you.”

Jisung hoped his ‘I love you too’ was clear in the way he hugged Minho.

“You can… you can help the others. If you want.”

He said. ‘I’ll let you take care of me when I’m the most vulnerable’ was what he really meant. Minho kissed him one last time before they cuddled up to wait for dinner.

Chapter Text

Chan bid Woojin goodbye and went back to preparing his breakfast. The last four days had been weird. They had all started moving closer again, the leftover awkwardness resultant from their fight still lingering in the air. But they were making progress, and Chan was sure they soon would be well again. He had even seen Jisung and Seungmin playing together the day before, so things were going well.

His only worry, now, was the littles. None of the three boys had expressed any need or desire to regress, so far, and Chan knew that it was normal, they were still getting used to this new situation, but… well, he couldn’t shake off the fear of them repressing their little side. Which was why he had been overworking, something he tended to do when he had too much in mind and tried to give himself as less time as possible to think about those things. And that was also the reason he was at home at the moment.

Woojin had been the one to find him the night before – or morning, it was 4am – at the studio. And he had dragged Chan home with strict orders to rest. Chan had woken up considerably early, but he had been forbidden to leave the dorms. Fine by him. He could work from home.

He sighed, turning off the stove. Work from home. Great.

Jisung took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Not that it worked. He had been taking deep breaths for at least five minutes now, and every time he managed to calm down a little bit his mind went back to what he was planning on doing and he went right back to hyperventilating.

He groaned frustrated as he fisted his hands in his sheets. It shouldn’t be so hard.

All he had to do was go up to Chan and tell him he wanted to regress. He didn’t even have to say anything, actually, just the simple act of pulling on Chan’s shirt and pouting would be more than enough for the boy to catch on. Except Jisung couldn’t exactly do that when he didn’t manage to even get up from his goddamn bed.

Jisung sighed, lying back down. He knew what was holding him back. For all that he had forgiven Seungmin – fully, already, they had had a ‘let’s become closer again’ videogame session on the day before –, Jisung was still a bit self-conscious about regressing after all of the mess that had happened. And what really scared him was… that he had no idea how young he would go if he let himself regress.

Well, ‘no idea’ wasn’t quite it. Jisung had a pretty good idea of how young he would go, and that was exactly what was bothering him. He blushed as he remembered the one time he had slipped younger, how he had glued himself to Chan and refused to let go. He had even drunk from a bottle, then, like an actual baby, and that was too embarrassing to even think of.

The boy groaned, hiding his blushing cheeks on his pillow. Fuck. Why was this so hard? He didn’t remember it being so hard before. And he couldn’t wait too much, either, because the others would go back to the dorms eventually, and then he would be a hundred times more uncomfortable than he already was.

For a moment he considered just giving up. Chan was probably busy, and Jisung could deal with himself. Right? Wrong, was the answer. And Jisung knew that. He could feel his little side getting more and more impatient after so long being repressed. He once again groaned, before screaming into his pillow. Then he sat up with his back against the wall and stuck his thumb in his mouth, sighing as it soothed him slightly. He closed his eyes.

He barely had time to put his thoughts in order before the door opened.

“Sungie, I…”

Jisung’s eyes shot open. Chan, standing by the door, raised an eyebrow. And Jisung’s little side decided this was its chance and promptly took over, making Jisung’s eyes water.

“Appa, appa!”

Chan took a moment to process what was happening. Since they all talked, four days earlier, Jisung had been slowly going back to his usual self, finally accepting his pacifiers back, letting others cuddle and hug him, and even, on the previous day, actively looking for someone to cuddle with. It made Chan feel more relaxed about the situation, because Jisung was clearly making progress. Still, Chan was not expecting the boy to slip any time soon.

All of that, though, went through Chan’s head in about three seconds. Then he quickly rushed towards the crying boy and scooped him into his arms, letting Jisung cling to him as he sat down on the bed.

“Hey, baby, appa is here. It’s ok, angel.” Jisung sniffed, nuzzling Chan’s neck, and Chan’s heart sped up. He had missed Jisung so so so much. He hugged the boy tighter, kissing Jisung’s head. “I’m here, angel.”

He said again, reassuring both of them. Jisung pulled back, grimacing.

“S-sun… Sun’ie… a-appa…”

The boy whined, clearly frustrated at how he couldn’t speak properly. Chan shushed him.

“Baby, Sungie, don’t force yourself. Come on, appa is here to take care of you. You can be as little as you need to be, angel.”

Jisung looked at him for a second, then sniffed again and let his head rest against Chan’s chest. He mumbled something non-understandable, and then put two of his fingers in his mouth. Chan smiled.

“That’s it, baby. You can relax.”

Jisung snuggled closer.

The first thing Chan did was give Jisung his space pacifier and stuffed fox. Jisung immediately clung to both items, giggling happily as he was presented with them. Then he put Jisung in one of his diapers and a onesie, before settling down on the living room sofa with the boy on his lap. Once they were comfortable, Chan looked down at the boy and smiled. Jisung giggled and poked his dimple, which, Chan had already noticed, was for some reason very interesting for the boy when he was this little.

“Hey there, baby. That’s my dimple.” He said. Jisung giggled. Chan couldn’t help but to laugh too. “Gods, how can you be so adorable, angel? It makes me want to bite your cheeks.”

He asked, peppering the boy’s cheeks with kisses and making him smile. When he leaned back, Jisung whined, pouting. Chan raised an eyebrow, before kissing the boy’s cheeks again, making Jisung giggle. As he leaned back, the pout returned. Chan laughed to himself.

“Excuse me, little prince, I am not your servant.”

He said, smiling. Jisung’s pout deepened. Chan laughed, because he knew he would never be able to resist the boy, and leaned down to blow a raspberry on his cheek, which made Jisung laugh more than ever, in turn making Chan melt completely.

“Ah, you’re gonna be the death of me, angel.” He said. Jisung smiled sweetly. “Come on, appa would love to give you kissies all day, but what about we take a look at the toys we got you?”

He said, knowing Jisung wouldn’t understand him, but talking to interact with the boy.

The leader got up from the couch with Jisung still clinging to him. He didn’t even attempt to leave the boy in the living room by himself, because he knew how that would end, so he took Jisung into his room, placing him on the bed. He kissed the boy’s forehead.

“Sungie, stay right here. Ok?”

He said. The boy offered him one of his gummy smiles and Chan chuckled. He then headed to his closet, searching inside it for the toys he had bought for Jisung on the night the boy had regressed into baby-space. He pulled out the colourful stacking cups and the ten-piece puzzle, which had pieces in various different textures. With the toys in hand, plus Jisung’s teething ring, he turned to the boy, offering a hand. Jisung tilted his head. Chan laughed, not having expected his plan to work anyways.

“You’re gonna give me back pain, angel.”

He said, picking the boy up. Not that he cared. He would do anything for Jisung.

Chan played with Jisung for quite some time before feeding the boy and putting him down from a nap. Then, once the boy woke up, he gave Jisung a bath and let the boy play all he wanted with the bubbles, before heading back to the living room. Which was were they were when the front door opened.

Chan quickly shushed Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin as they walked into the room, not wanting them to startle Jisung. The boy was sitting on his lap, happily playing with his puzzle, and Chan didn’t want him to get a scare.

“Hyung?”

Questioned Jeongin. Chan moved a bit so the other three could see the boy on his lap. He saw the three other boys melt immediately. He didn’t blame them. Jisung was entertained with his toy, quietly sucking on his pacifier and softly giggling as he felt the different textures of the pieces. He was leaning on Chan for stability, and his stuffed fox had been expertly placed right next to him.

“Oh.” Chan looked at Seungmin, who had spoken. He raised an eyebrow. “He looks adorable.”

Completed the boy. Chan smiled, noticing Hyunjin’s sigh of relief.

“Sungie, angel. Look who’s here.”

He called, quietly. Jisung looked up, and then whimpered when he spotted the other three. He quickly turned to Chan, hiding against his chest. The older caressed his hair, moving to sit on the couch and pulling Jisung with him.

“Baby boy, it’s just Innie, Jinnie and Min.”

He said. Jisung whined. Chan looked at the other boys, gesturing for them to come closer. Jeongin obeyed, sitting next to the pair on the couch. He touched Jisung’s hair.

“Hey, little boy.”

He greeted. This made Jisung look up, probably recognizing the nickname. He looked at Jeongin, then whined and reached for him. Chan smiled, moving the boy to sit on Jeongin’s lap, chuckling as Jisung curled up into a little ball, holding onto the maknae. Jeongin smiled widely, kissing the boy’s forehead.

“Hey. I missed you, Jiji.”

He said. Jisung whined and pouted, nuzzling Jeongin’s neck, his own way of saying ‘I missed you too’. Chan looked at the other two. Hyunjin seemed to be frozen. Seungmin looked enchanted. The leader smiled.

“Come here, you two.” He prompted. The two boys moved forwards hesitantly. Chan pulled Seungmin by the hand. “Sungie, angel, say hi to Min hyung.”

He said. Jisung looked up, sucking on his pacifier faster for a second. Then he hummed at Seungmin, before hiding again. Chan snorted at the way Seungmin was smiling.

“I think he likes me!”

Said the boy, and the other three had to hold back from laughing too hard. Chan gestured towards Hyunjin.

“Go on. Say hi.”

He said. Hyunjin nodded, but didn’t move. Chan rolled his eyes and pulled him closer, nudging him towards the little. Hyunjin softly touched Jisung’s cheek, making the boy look up. The older froze for a second, then smiled.

“Hey, Sungie.”

He said. Jisung leaned into the touch on his cheek and Hyunjin smiled so widely Chan was scared he might be blinded.

“He’s really cute.”

Said Seungmin. Chan nodded.

“He is.”

Jeongin kissed the boy’s cheek and Jisung smiled, and Chan wondered if he would ever stop melting.

Chan was feeding Jisung again when the others arrived making a ruckus. The noise startled the little, who immediately started crying before the leader hugged him closer, caressing his hair.

“Baby, it’s ok. It’s just the hyungs being noisy, they’ll stop, I promise.” He said, effectively shutting everyone up and getting Jisung to stop crying. He looked at the newcomers. All of the others had gathered in the living room, curious to see if Jisung was regressed. Chan snorted. “You look like a bunch of meerkats.”

He said, making Jeongin laugh. Felix moved closer, seemingly unbothered.

“Hyung, how old is he right now?”

He asked, excited. Chan took a look at Jisung, biting on his lip.

“Hum… I’d say… one? Tops.”

Felix squealed as quietly as he could, and Chan saw the others on the back cooing.

“That’s really little!”

Said the boy, making Chan laugh.

“Yeah, which is why I’m giving him a bottle. Which, by the way, you interrupted.”

He said. The boy had the decency to look a bit guilty.

“Sorry. I’ll go. Can I hold him later?”

He pleaded. Chan laughed.

“If he lets you.”

He said. Felix beamed at him. The others carefully ruffled Jisung’s hair or kissed his cheek, depending on how close he let them get to him, and then there was only Minho left. Chan smiled.

“Hey.”

He greeted. Minho nodded at him, then bit on his lip.

“He looks cute.”

He said, clearly trying not to smile. Chan chuckled.

“Of course he does. It’s Sungie.”

Minho snorted.

“You’re not wrong. Can I…?”

Chan smiled and offered the bottle to the boy. Jisung whined as Chan tried to move him, but he did let Minho feed him while he was on Chan’s lap. Minho smiled.

“I’m glad.”

He said. Chan looked at him.

“Glad?”

He asked. Minho nodded.

“I thought it would be really weird to see Sungie like this. But… I don’t know I can practically feel that it’s another headspace. You know? It’s like… I’m not sure how to explain, but I can clearly tell this apart from when he isn’t in headspace. So it’s not weird.”

He explained. Chan nodded. He knew what Minho meant.

“I get what you mean.”

He said. Jisung whined. Minho and Chan noticed he was done with the bottle. Minho smiled and took it away from the boy’s mouth. Jisung immediately snuggled against Chan and closed his eyes. The other two smiled.

“I’ll get going, hyung. He’s sleepy.”

Chan nodded, bidding Minho goodnight. Then he got up and turned off the lights, going to his own room with Jisung safe in his arms.

Once they lay down, Jisung softly reached for Chan’s cheek and pressed a little kiss there. Chan chuckled.

“Hey, baby.” He greeted. Jisung smiled and rubbed his nose on Chan’s cheek, making the older smile. “Well, someone’s feeling cute today.”

Jisung smiled sweetly, before trying to speak up.

“-to-towy?”

He managed to say. Chan smiled.

“You want appa to tell you a story?”

He asked. Jisung smiled widely. Chan chuckled and pulled the boy closer, caressing his hair and starting to talk.

He made the story up as he went, watching as Jisung got more and more sleepy. And then the story ended and Chan continued to comb the boy’s hair with his fingers, humming softly. Until he noticed Jisung grabbing his shirt and trying to suck on it. He frowned and gently pulled it away.

“No, angel, that isn’t good for you. Here.”

He said, handing the boy his pacifier. Jisung refused, whining and pulling on Chan’s shirt, eyes watering. Chan blinked, surprised. Jisung never refused his pacifier. The boy once again pulled on his shirt and Chan slightly leaned up, letting the boy do what he wanted. It seemed to work, because Jisung hummed happily. He pushed Chan’s shirt up, until the older got the hint and took off his shirt, still completely confused as to what the boy could possibly want. Then Jisung lay on Chan’s chest, and…

Chan pulled back, startled. Jisung’s eyes widened, before watering. Chan immediately noticed his mistake and pulled the boy closer again.

“Sorry, baby, appa is sorry. Shh, sorry, don’t cry.”

He said, trying to calm the crying boy down. In his defence, he was not expecting Jisung to try and nurse on his chest.

“A-appa…”

Cried the boy, and it was such a pained cry it made Chan’s heart break.

“Sungie, angel, appa is sorry. Here, come on. You can… you can do what you want to do, baby.”

He said, even though he wasn’t sure how he felt about Jisung nursing on his chest.

The boy sniffed and leaned closer, gently beginning to suck again. Chan bit on his lip, trying to get used to the feeling. It was… different. A bit weird. But it wasn’t that uncomfortable, and it was kind of cute. Probably because everything Jisung did was cute. He looked down at the boy. Jisung’s eyes were closed and his hand was holding the sheets near his face. Chan smiled. Ok, maybe he could get used to this.

He closed his eyes, putting a hand around the younger boy next to him.

“Goodnight, Sungie.”

He fell asleep smiling.

Jisung woke up feeling warm and comfortable. He snuggled against his pillow, yawning slightly. His pillow moved. Jisung frowned. Then the memories of the previous day came back and he sat up, pulling his thumb from his mouth. Chan, who was shirtless under him, groaned at the sudden movement, opening his eyes.

“Sungie?”

Jisung groaned and let himself fall back down, hiding his face on the pillow.

“Leave me here to die, hyung.”

He whined. Chan chuckled, sitting up.

“Why would I do that to the cutest baby ever?”

He asked. Jisung whined embarrassedly.

“Hyung.”

He complained. Chan chuckled.

“Sorry. You were really cute yesterday, though. Why are you embarrassed?”

Jisung sat up, glaring.

“Because.”

He answered, crossing his arms. He couldn’t believe he had let himself drop so much, and… no, he’d rather not think about that.

“That’s not a good answer. Come on, Sungie, you were adorable. I don’t see why you’re upset.”

Jisung knew what Chan was doing. He could hear the fear behind the boy’s cheeriness, fear that Jisung would be too embarrassed and try to avoid regressing again. Jisung wouldn’t. He had learned his lesson. He pouted.

“I… I went really little, hyung.”

He said. Chan shrugged.

“And?”

Jisung’s pout deepened.

“And I… I did that. That was weird. I-I’m sorry.”

Chan frowned, then his eyes softened.

“Are you talking about…” Jisung flinched and Chan seemed to notice. “… not wanting your paci?”

He asked. Jisung blushed, nodding. Chan smiled.

“I’m gonna admit I was pretty taken aback and first.” Jisung bit on his lip, feeling his cheeks growing warm. “But it’s cute after you get used to it.”

Jisung groaned.

“Of course you think it’s cute. Can we please not tell the others?”

Chan chuckled and ruffled his hair. Jisung basked on the affectionate gesture. He had missed this.

“Of course we can, Ji. Now let’s go have breakfast, ok?”

Jisung smiled.

“I didn’t even get to hold him.”

Was the first thing Felix said as Jisung and Chan entered the kitchen. Jisung blushed.

“Hold me?”

Felix nodded, pouting.

“You were really little, I wanted to hold you.”

He said. Jisung felt his cheek heating up even more. Woojin chuckled.

“He wouldn’t have let you hold him, Lix. You know how Sungie gets when he’s extra little.”

He said. Jisung frowned.

“How do I get?”

He asked, regretting it instantly, because he didn’t want to hear about himself in headspace. Woojin chuckled.

“Extra clingy to Channie. The only other person you let hold you is Innie.”

Jisung hid his face in his hands and heard the others laughing. Someone pinched his cheek and he looked up, glaring. Only to come face to face with his boyfriend. He gasped.

“Betrayed by my own boyfriend.”

He mumbled. Minho chuckled.

“Don’t be dramatic.” He said, pecking Jisung on the lips. “You were adorable yesterday.”

This lifted a weight Jisung didn’t even know he had been carrying from his shoulders. Minho didn’t think it was weird. He had seen Jisung in headspace and hadn’t thought it as weird. That was…

“You quite liked Jinnie, too.”

Jisung looked up, seeing Seungmin entering the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Hyunjin. The boy shrugged, giggling.

“I guess.”

He said. Jisung looked at Chan. The leader nodded.

“You reacted pretty well to him, yeah.”

And then Jisung smiled. Everyone was acting normal; as if it was no big deal that Jisung had spent the whole previous day in headspace. And this made him feel that it
was no big deal. His friends didn’t mind. Why should he? He scratched the back of his neck.

“I… thank you, guys.”

He mumbled. All of them looked confused. Changbin tilted his head.

“For what?”

He asked. Jisung shrugged.

“For accepting me. Even after I was an ass about this.”

He noticed the way the others seemed to soften at his words. Chan ruffled his hair.

“We love you, Sungie. Nothing will change this. Ok?”

Everyone hummed in agreement. Jisung smiled.

“Ok.”

Chapter Text

Not an actual chapter, just a list of everything the boys have for the littles:

Jisung:

- Fox stuffie (Flower)
- Kitten stuffie (Woo)
- Lion stuffie (Chanchan)
- Elephant stuffie (Jeongie)
- Lego Duplo
- Three pacifiers: (https://www.zazzle.com/sweet_woodland_fox_baby_pacifier-256577955153619946; https://www.zazzle.ca/cute_cartoon_squirrel_pacifier-256037168443776363; and Space)
- Pull-ups
- Teething rings
- Squirrel sippy cup
- Hello Kitty Bottle
- Alphabet blocks
- Plastic plate (https://ddlgplayground.com/collections/little-boy/products/autumn-forest-dinner-set)
- Sensory 10-piece puzzle
- Stacking cups
- A pink hoodie with little one written on it
- White overalls
- Jeans overalls
- Lion t-shirt
- Squirrel t-shirt
- Rabbit socks
- Bunny onesie
- Green onesie

Changbin:

- Black pacifier
- Legos
- Turtle plushie (Bubbles)
- Gyu

What they all share:

- Coloring books
- Farm set
- Crayons
- Toy cars
- Play Doh
- Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game
- Nemo bath toys
- Bath crayons
- Story books
- All the clothes

Hyunjin still hasn't gotten anything that's only his; they all share everything (except for a few treasured items); Jisung has more than the others because he's been getting things for longer

Chapter Text

It only took three days for someone else to feel little again. Chan was doing the dishes in the morning when Felix approached him.

“Hyung? Can we stay home today?”

Chan frowned as he turned around to face Felix, immediately understanding the request when he noticed Changbin clinging to the boy.

“Oh. Is Binnie feeling little?”

He asked. Not that he needed to. Changbin was dressed in Felix’s clothes, holding a stuffed turtle and smiling widely. Clearly regressed. Felix beamed.

“Yup. He woke me up a while ago asking to play.”

Chan smiled at the cuteness.

“Ok, I’ll see what I can do.”

It wasn’t too hard to change their schedule. They had been promised a day off within that week, so it was quite simple for Chan to request that they took it on that day. He knew it wouldn't always be that simple, though, so he started thinking of a way to solve this issue now that they had three regressors. He had an idea already, but he had to think about it further. For now, however, they were all in the living room doing one thing or another as Changbin played happily with his Legos. He was dressed in one of Felix’s baby pink hoodies, and he was extremely focused on whatever he was building.

From the corner of his eyes, Chan noticed Jisung squirming. He smiled to himself, choosing not to say anything for now.

“Hyungie, look!”

Chan looked up to see Changbin bouncing in front of Felix, shoving a weird Lego construction on the boy’s face. Felix chuckled.

“Binnie, I can’t see anything with you jumping up and down like that, baby.”

He said. Changbin pouted, but stilled, shoving his construction even closer to Felix.

“Look!

He demanded, dragging out the o. Chan smiled at the sight. Seungmin, by his side, chuckled.

“He’s older than Sungie.”

He said. Chan looked at Jisung to see the boy blushing and pouting.

“Sometimes. Sungie is usually around three, right, Sungie?”

Asked Woojin. Jisung shrugged, then nodded, still pouting. Minho chuckled.

“Why are you upset, Sungie?”

He asked. Jisung’s pout deepened.

“Too young.”

He mumbled, and Chan knew it wouldn’t be long now. He rolled his eyes.

“Sungie, there’s nothing wrong with having a younger headspace. Plus, Binnie was around that age last time he regressed.”

Jisung shrugged, but Chan noticed him relaxing a little.

Something passed right in front of Chan, almost hitting his nose. He instinctively leaned back, blinking. Then he saw Changbin running around the couch with whatever he had just showed Felix in his hands, making weird sounds. He raised an eyebrow at Felix. The boy laughed.

“He made a spaceship.”

Chan didn’t have to look much to know that whatever Changbin had made looked nothing like a spaceship.

“Did he, now?”

He asked. Felix just laughed.

“Careful!” Changbin’s yell, unfortunately, wasn’t enough for the others to catch on, and a second later Jeongin was hit by a paper ball. “The alins got Jeongie hyungie!”

Said the boy, and a second later everyone burst out laughing as Jeongin scowled.

“Aliens, Binnie.”

Corrected Felix, still laughing. Changbin paid him no mind.

Chan was in the kitchen getting juice for Changbin when he felt a pull on his shirt. He supressed a smile and turned around, seeing Jisung next to him, as expected.

“Hey there.”

He greeted. Jisung pouted.

“I hate you.”

He mumbled, although there was no heat behind the words. Chan laughed.

“You’re supposed to come to us, Sungie.”

Jisung sighed.

“I did, didn’t I?”

He complained. Chan smiled and ruffled his hair, closing Changbin’s sippy cup and offering Jisung a hand.

“Come on, hyungie will put you in some better clothes and then you can play with Binnie all you want, ok?”

Jisung beamed.

Felix sighed, counting to five before speaking again.

“Binnie, you know you can’t play with your Legos when Sungie is around.”

He said one more time. Changbin glared.

“But I want to!”

He complained. Felix’s lips became a thin line before he spoke again.

“Sungie is too little, Binnie, he might put something in his mouth and choke if we let him play with them.”

He tried to reason. Jisung, in Chan’s lap, was pouting and trying to get down to the floor to play. Changbin stomped his foot.

“Don’t care! Wanna play!”

Felix frowned.

“Don’t you use that tone with me, mister. You can’t play with them now, that’s final.” Changbin looked at Felix for a second, and then a second later he threw the toy in his hand at the younger. Luckily, Felix’s reflexes were good. That didn’t change the fact that Changbin had just thrown a toy at him. “Seo Changbin! Did you just throw a toy at me?”

He asked. He didn’t scream, but his low voice scared even the other boys in the room. Changbin stuck his tongue out. Felix shook his head.

“That’s it, corner time for you. Twenty minutes.”

Changbin’s face paled and Felix saw the tears forming in his eyes, but he couldn’t back down now.

“No! No, Lixie, Binnie will be good, promise!”

Felix shook his head, grabbing the boy’s wrist and dragging him to the corner they’d designated as ‘naughty corner’. It had never been used, because Jisung was an angel in headspace, and Changbin had never acted out enough to be sent there. Felix couldn’t say he was happy to be the one using it for the first time.

“You talked back to me, disobeyed me and threw a toy at me, Changbin. You’ll stay here for twenty minutes. End of story.”

Changbin continued to sniffle and cry, but Felix paid him no mind, walking away and leaving the boy there. Luckily, Changbin didn’t try to get up.

Felix let himself fall down on the couch. Chan squeezed his shoulder.

“Hey, you did good.”

He said. Felix nodded.

“I just feel bad.”

He said. Chan nodded.

“I understand. But it’ll be good for him.”

Felix nodded. Jisung whined and Felix looked up, smiling as the boy moved closer and kissed his cheek.

“Lixie ‘yungie ‘appy.”

He mumbled. Felix chuckled.

“Hyungie is happy, baby boy. Now what do you say we colour for a bit while we wait for Binnie to come play?”

Jisung smiled.

Felix sighed in relief as his clock rang. He was happily playing with Jisung, and it was fund, but he still felt guilty about leaving Changbin in the corner on his own. So as soon as the alarm rang he smiled, turning it off and getting up. Jisung whined and Felix chuckled.

“Hyung will be back in a second, Sungie. I’ll just get Binnie, and then we can all play, ok?”

Jisung’s eyes shone and he quickly nodded. Felix saw, as he turned around, then boy pouting and making grabby hands at someone and he laughed. Of course Jisung refused to be alone even for a second.

Changbin had stopped crying, but he was hugging his knees to his chest. Felix felt a pang in his heart.

“Binnie?” He called. The boy jolted up, then turning to look at Felix. The younger smiled. “Hey, baby, your timeout is over. You can come out now.”

He saw the relief filling Changbin’s eyes. With a sad smile he opened his arms. Changbin whimpered and ran to him, hugging him tightly.

“I’m sorry, hyungie.”

He whined. Felix combed his hair with his hands.

“Can you tell hyungie what you did wrong, Binnie?”

Changbin sniffled and leaned back.

“Was rude and threw a toy at hyungie.”

He said. Felix nodded.

“Very good. And do you understand that that was wrong?”

Changbin nodded again.

“Yes, hyungie. Sorry.”

Felix smiled.

“You’re forgiven, Binnie. Remember that we all love you very much, ok? You learned your lesson, and now we can all play together. Alright?”

Changbin beamed at him.

Chan took quite some time to notice the way Hyunjin was staring at Changbin and Jisung, but when he did he cursed at himself for not noticing sooner. He carefully scooted closer to the boy.

“Jinnie?”

Hyunjin looked up, startled. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah?”

Said the younger. He was blushing. Chan knew there was something there.

“Jinnie, do you want to join them?”

He asked. He would soon start using the actual age-regression terms with Hyunjin too, like he did with Jisung and Changbin, but he had a feeling the boy was still way too uncomfortable to say yes if Chan asked him if he wanted to be little or regress too. As it was, Hyunjin bit on his lip.

“I-I, it’s, they’re already… three is too much, hyung.”

He said. Chan sighed.

“Jinnie, we have six people to take care of three littles. That’s two caregivers per little. Plus, Jisungie is an angel, he just needs someone to hold him and then he’s fine.”

Hyunjin still didn’t seem too convinced.

“I… I’m not sure… hyung, I don’t know how…”

He tried to say, gesturing with his hands helplessly. But Chan didn’t need all of the words to know what the boy meant.

“I’ll help you. I can talk you down, Jinnie. Will you let me?”

He asked. Hyunjin squirmed in his seat.

“I, uhn, it’s just…”

Chan frowned. There was something else there.

“Jinnie. Let’s go to my room. Then we can talk, ok?”

That seemed to calm Hyunjin down a bit. He nodded.

Chan got up, careful not to be seen by Jisung, otherwise they would have to go through the whole process of convincing him to let Chan go, and Chan didn’t want to call attention to Hyunjin at the moment.

Luckily, Jisung was quite content and distracted on Jeongin’s lap, and they successfully made their way into Chan’s room. The leader sat down, patting the seat next to him and Hyunjin obeyed, also sitting down. The older waited to see if the boy would talk, but it was clear Hyunjin didn’t feel like starting this conversation. He sighed.

“Jinnie. Can you let hyung talk you down?”

He asked. Hyunjin bit on his lip.

“I… can…” He seemed to think for a bit, then scratched the back of his neck. “Can I just go to the bathroom first?”

He asked. Chan frowned, but decided not to question the boy. He waited for Hyunjin to go and come back, then smiled.

“Ok, Jinnie, now come here so hyung can get you on more comfortable clothes.”

Hyunjin was shy. That was the first thing Woojin noticed as Chan entered the room pulling the boy by the hand. He had seen the two of them leaving and had guessed what they were up to. And not the confirmation was right in front of him, in the form of Hyunjin wearing an oversized hoodie and loose shorts. He was also hiding behind Chan. Woojin smiled at the cuteness.

As Chan reached the others, he cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him. Hyunjin tried to make himself look smaller. It was endearing to see.

“Guys, Hyunjinnie came to play with Sungie and Binnie, say hi to him.”

Woojin smiled as everyone in the room beamed at the boy and greeted him, making Hyunjin’s cheeks turn red as he giggled.

“Hi, Jinnie.”

He greeted last, once everyone else was already turning back to their things. Hyunjin’s eyes met his and, to Woojin’s surprise, the boy’s face lit up.

“Woojie hyungie!”

He called, before pulling his hand from Chan’s and rushing to Woojin. The older snorted as he barely avoided getting knocked out off the couch with Hyunjin in his arms.

“Well, hello there.”

Hyunjin gave him the biggest smile, his eyes practically disappearing.

“Hi, hyungie.” He greeted. He was older than Jisung, it seemed, but definitely younger than Changbin. “Wanna play with ‘em.”

He completed, pointing at Jisung and Changbin with his head. Cute.

“You want to play with Sungie and Binnie?” Woojin asked. Hyunjin nodded, excited. Woojin smiled. “Well, let’s go talk to them.”

This made Hyunjin freeze for a second. Then he pouted.

“’m shy.”

He mumbled. Woojin took a second to ponder that Hyunjin usually mumbled in his adult headspace, his naturally jumbled speech making it hard for the others to understand him sometimes. This seemed to get worse when he was little, but if they could understand Jisung…

“They’re really nice, Jinnie. They’ll love to play with you, come on.” Hyunjin didn’t budge. “Hyung will stay with you, Jinnie.”

This made the boy smile widely, getting up. Woojin snorted. Spoiled brat. He guided the boy by the hand near to the trio on the floor.

Jisung and Changbin were enthusiastically playing Penguintrap, and Woojin was pretty sure they were supposed to be using the toy hammers – Changbin was –, but neither of them seemed to care much that Jisung was using his fingers. Jeongin, who was sitting next to Jisung on his phone, looked up when Woojin approached and smiled at Hyunjin. Woojin cleared his throat.

“Sungie, Binnie, can you look at hyung for a second?” The two boys looked up immediately. Woojin smiled. “Jinnie really wanted to play with you guys. Can he?”

Jisung replied first, smiling widely and making grabby hands at Hyunjin.

“Ji’ie!”

He called around his pacifier. Woojin looked at Hyunjin, who was looking at him. He smiled and nudged the boy. Hyunjin hesitantly kneeled next to Jisung and let the boy hug him, smiling and hugging back after a second.

“He can play, but he has to follow the rules!”

Said Changbin, making Woojin snort. He doubted Changbin played fair when in headspace, but he had the privilege of being the oldest little, which made it easier for him to not be found out.

“I can play!”

Said Hyunjin, clearly eager to please. Changbin looked at him for a second, then smiled.

“Ok. Here, you need a hammer. Sungie don’t cause he’s too little.”

Woojin raised an eyebrow, but Jisung didn’t seem bothered.

“Sungie doesn’t, Binnie.”

Corrected Jeongin. He was completely ignored.

Hyunjin looked at Woojin, then at Changbin.

“Woojie hyungie can stay?”

He asked. Changbin nodded quickly.

“He can keep our score!”

He said, excited. Woojin chuckled, but he couldn’t resist Hyunjin’s hopeful smile. He sat down next to the boy.

“Ok, let’s start this game.”

He said. He thought he had always understood what Chan meant when he talked about feeling protective of Jisung. He noticed at that moment that he had never quite understood it. But now he did. Hyunjin made him understand.

Chapter Text

“Jinnie you gotta be quiet.”

Whispered Changbin. Hyunjin quickly covered his mouth, but couldn’t stop his giggling. Changbin moved forward and Hyunjin followed him, trying to be as silent as possible as the older boy peeked around the couch.

“Safe?”

He asked, after a second. Changbin nodded and the two of them rushed from behind the couch to the middle of the room, where their target was: the Play-Doh cans.

“We’re almost there, Jinnie!”

Whisper-shouted Changbin. A second later he was squealing and Hyunjin was screaming.

“Who dares to come into my realm?”

Changbin started giggling hard and Hyunjin watched in horror as the tickle monster tortured him.

“Jinnie! Save me!”

This made the boy unfreeze, and he ran to the two boys on the floor, throwing himself on top of them and holding the monster’s arm.

“Let’im go!”

He screamed. On the bright side, the monster did. Except he decided to change his target to Hyunjin. The boy immediately started laughing, trying to escape from the monster.

“Binnie ‘yung!”

He called. Changbin ended up not having to do anything, however, because at that moment Chan entered the room and the monster stopped attacking. Hyunjin pouted.

“Woojie ‘yung.”

He whined. Woojin chuckled.

“Sorry, Jinnie, but the tickle monster wanted to see what Channie was up to.”

Hyunjin just pouted more, but accepted it, moving to sit on the floor next to Changbin. Then he noticed Chan was carrying Jisung into the room. His eyes lit up.

“Sungie!”

He called. The boy on Chan’s arms just whined. Hyunjin pouted. Why didn’t Jisung say hi? Chan chuckled.

“He’s just grumpy, Jinnie. Someone woke him up from his nap.”

The way Chan was looking at him made Hyunjin realize that maybe his and Changbin’s yells had been a bit too loud. He bit on his lip.

“Sorry.”

He said. Chan smiled and moved closer, ruffling his hair before sitting on the couch.

“Don’t worry about it, bug.”

Hyunjin pouted for a second longer, before perking up and kneeling on the floor, shuffling closer to the couch so he could take a look at Jisung.

The boy was curled up against Chan, sucking on his pacifier and hugging his stuffed fox. His eyes weren’t closed, but they were glassed over and he clearly wasn’t focusing on anything. Hyunjin took a look at Chan, then quickly reached over and poked Jisung’s cheek.

Jisung looked up, startled, and tilted his head. Hyunjin giggled and Chan snorted.

“Hi, Jisungie.”

Greeted the little once more. Jisung looked at Chan, then at Hyunjin. Then he poked Hyunjin’s cheek just like the boy had done to him, making Hyunjin laugh, which in turn made Jisung giggle.

“Appa, down down.”

Request Jisung around his pacifier, trying to get down from Chan’s lap. The older laughed and helped Jisung get down. The youngest boy smiled at Hyunjin, eyes crinkling up. Hyunjin beamed at him.

“D’ou wanna play with me?”

He asked. Jisung nodded excitedly, and a second later they were joining Changbin around the Play-Doh cans. Hyunjin couldn’t help but to smile, excited to have his two most favourite friends with him.

“They seem to get along well.”

Said Woojin, settling next to Chan on the couch. The three littles were in their own world playing with Play-Doh, giving the oldest boy a chance to rest from their tickle fight. Chan glanced at the trio and chuckled.

“They do. I’m glad, I was scared the age difference was going to be a problem.”

He said. Jisung was clearly the youngest, his headspace at the moment somewhere near three years old, a bit younger. Changbin was the oldest, seeming to be around five or six. And maybe the reason it worked so well was Hyunjin. Hyunjin fell in the middle between them, not as young as Jisung, not as old as Changbin.

“Changbin likes being in charge, he seems really happy to boss the two of them around.”

Woojin’s statement made Chan laugh, because it was true. Even now, when their play didn’t involve any rules or competitions, Changbin was throwing out orders left and right. Not that the other two seemed to care, simply doing what they wanted, but it was still funny to see.

“Bossy little thing.”

Said Chan, and Woojin chuckled.

“I’ll go make snacks for them, good luck if they get bored.”

Announced the oldest. Chan just laughed. He didn’t mind taking care of the littles.

Woojin was cutting up the last pieces of fruit for the fruit salad he was making when someone entered the kitchen. He glanced back to see who it was and then barely had time to set the knife on the counter before he was being engulfed in a hug from a teary-eyed Hyunjin. For a moment he didn’t know what to do, then he came back to his senses and wrapped his arms around the crying boy, looking at Felix, who had brought him over, in search of an explanation.

“He missed you.”

Said the boy, a little fond smile on his face. Woojin raised an eyebrow.

“Jinnie? Hey, don’t cry, bub.”

Hyunjin sniffed and pressed closer. Woojin brought a hand up to run through the boy’s hair.

“W-woo’ie ‘yungie left and din’ tell Ji’ie.”

Mumbled the boy, face still pressed into Woojin’s shoulder. Woojin felt himself melting at the boy’s words.

“Oh, Jinnie, hyungie didn’t want to interrupted your playtime. Hyungie didn’t know you would be so upset.”

He explained, still caressing the boy’s hair. Hyunjin sniffled again, before pulling back and messily drying his tears with the back of his hands.

“But Jinnie love hyungie.”

He said, as if that was an explanation. Woojin felt as if his heart was about to burst out from his chest. He took Hyunjin’s hands, kissing each of them and then the boy’s cheeks.

“Aigo, hyung is sorry, Jinnie. I won’t do it again, ok? Hyung loves you very much too.”

This made Hyunjin smile, and although his eyes were still a bit wet, it was a sincere smile.

“Love hyungie.”

Said the boy, once again hugging Woojin. The older ruffled his hair.

“And hyungie loves you too. Now let’s go back so we can eat with the others, ok?”

Hyunjin beamed at him, back to being his smiley, happy self.

Woojin chuckled as he entered the living room after Chan. The boy had come to get him a few moments earlier, gesturing for him to be quiet, and now Woojin could see why.
In the middle of their living room, Changbin, Hyunjin and Jisung were sleeping in something that could only be described as a puppy pile. Hyunjin was at the bottom, with Changbin lying on his chest, cheek squished against Hyunjin and his legs curled up. On the space between the two, with his head on Changbin’s leg and his legs tangled up with Hyunjin’s, was Jisung, hugging his stuffed fox. Woojin had to hold himself back from squealing.

“Is that a pacifier?”

He asked, squinting to look at Hyunjin’s face. Chan hummed.

“Yeah, he asked for one when he started getting sleepy.”

Woojin smiled, then scrunched up his nose once he noticed the task they had ahead of them.

“Shit, we’ll have to carry them to their bed.”

He mumbled. Chan snorted.

“Why do you think everyone else is gone? They disappeared as soon as I mentioned getting them to bed.”

Woojin shook his head chuckling. Of course they did.

“Even Innie.”

Chan nodded.

“Even Innie.”

In the end it wasn’t too hard to move the boys. Jisung woke up on the second Chan touched his shoulder, which ended up working on their favour, because as soon as he saw Chan’s face he sleepily smiled and wrapped himself around the boy, making the task of taking him to bed much easier. And then it was just a matter of Woojin picking Changbin up and setting him on his bed before sending a message to Felix to go take care of the boy and going back to get Hyunjin.

Once he had the last little in his arms, the oldest peeked into Chan’s room, raising an eyebrow at the scene he saw and deciding to ask about it later, before heading to his own room. With a bit of difficulty, because Hyunjin was the tallest among them, he set the boy on the bed. He then pulled the waistband of Hyunjin's pants down, finding exactly what he had expected.

As quietly as he could he grabbed the things he needed, carefully taking off Hyunjin's wet pull-ups and cleaning him up before dressing him in new ones. They would have to talk to the boy about asking for changes when in headspace.

Once he was done he threw Hyunjin's wet pull-ups away and sat down, tucking the boy in before pressing a kiss to his head. When he tried to get up, however the boy whined.

“’tay…”

Came the little mumble, and Woojin practically melted. He smiled and lay down next to the boy.

“Ok, bub. Hyungie will stay.”

He said, sitting back down. He chuckled as Hyunjin gave him a sleepy smile behind his pacifier, before promptly falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Chan knocked on Woojin’s door early on the next day. They had a full day of schedules, but Chan needed to talk to the older and discuss the idea he had come up with for them to be as comfortable as possible when taking care of the littles.

“Come in.”

Came Woojin’s voice, and he sounded more awake than Chan had expected. He opened the door and smiled at the scene. Woojin was lying down on his bed, and clinging to him like a baby koala was Hyunjin, pacifier in his mouth as he softly sucked on it.

“You look comfy.”

Commented the leader. Woojin chuckled lightly, clearly taking care to not shake the sleeping boy.

“He asked me to stay with him yesterday. What could I do?” Chan could relate to that feeling. “Did you need anything?”

Chan nodded, remembering what he had come to do.

“Yes, actually.” He said, pulling a few pillows that were lying on the ground close to Woojin’s bed so he could sit comfortably. “I came up with an idea to make sure the boys can regress as much as they need without interfering with our schedules too much.”

Woojin hummed.

“I was actually going to talk to you about that, I’m glad you have an idea.”

Chan smiled.

“It needs a bit of perfecting, but I think it would work.” He said. “Basically, I think we should have fixed days for them to regress. Then on those days three of us stay home to take care of them.”

He explained. Woojin frowned.

“Hum, the idea of them having fixed days is good, but… three of them at home, plus three of us… that would leave only three free. And Sungie would probably demand either you or Innie every time, so…” Chan frowned. He hadn’t though of that. “How about we rotate it?”

Chan tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

He asked.

“Well, we have three of us taking care of them in the morning, then around lunch time the other three come home to take care of them, and the ones who spent the morning at home can go practice.”

Chan smiled. That was why he had gone to talk to Woojin.

“You are a genius, babe.”

He said, leaning up and pecking Woojin on the lips. The boy chuckled, pulling Chan back in for a longer kiss.

“I know.”

He said, once they parted. Chan laughed.

“Idiot.”

Woojin just smiled. Then he checked on Hyunjin and turned back to Chan.

“I went to your room yesterday night to check on you and Sungie before putting Hyunjin to bed.”

He said, voice soft and curious. Chan took a few seconds to understand what the boy was hinting at. He felt his cheeks reddening, although he wasn’t sure why he was so embarrassed.

“Ah, you, that…”

Woojin raised an eyebrow.

“It’s no big deal, Channie. I just didn’t know it was a thing.”

He said. Chan shrugged.

“It’s… a new thing. It’s only the second time he has done it. The first one was on the day he regressed again after the fight with Minnie. When he was extra little.”

Woojin nodded.

“What do you guys do, exactly?”

Asked the older. Chan shrugged again, not sure if he could explain it through his embarrassment.

“Just… I don’t know, Sungie just…”

He gestured towards himself. Woojin seemed to understand his struggle, because he smiled softly.

“It’s kinda like nursing?”

Chan bit the inside of his cheek.

“Kinda.”

He answered. Woojin’s hand caressed his cheek.

“Why are you so embarrassed, Channie?”

He asked. Chan shrugged one more time, because it was the only answer he had.

“I don’t know. It’s weird.”

Woojin frowned.

“It’s weird for you or for other people?”

He asked, and Chan stopped to think about it for the first time.

“For… other people.”

He admitted, after a few moment. Woojin nodded.

“Exactly. And how do you feel about it?”

Chan felt his cheeks heating up once again.

“I, it’s nice. Calming, in a way.”

Woojin smiled at him.

“Then ignore what you think other people will think, ok?”

Chan smiled. He had the best boyfriend in the whole wide world. And he felt Woojin needed to know this, so he kissed him.

“You’re the best boyfriend out there, you know?”

Woojin chuckled.

“I know.”

Chan could only smile.

Chan rolled his eyes, glancing at Woojin. The older shrugged as if saying ‘what were you expecting?’. And he was right. After his talk with Woojin and waking everyone up, Chan had gathered all nine members in their living room to talk. He should have expected the overall mess and screaming. He looked at Jeongin next. The boy caught his eyes and chuckled, before cleaning his throat.

“Hyungs~ Channie hyung has something to say, we should listen!”

He didn’t yell, just raised his voice enough to be heard over the other talks. Immediately, everyone quietened down. Chan couldn’t help but to laugh. Jeongin had all of them wrapped around his fingers.

“Thank you, Innie.” He turned to the others. “I gathered you guys here today so we can discuss something simple: how we’ll organize our schedule.”

Eight confused faces stared back at Chan, making him laugh.

“But isn’t that what manager hyung is for, hyung?”

Asked Seungmin. Chan nodded.

“Yes, but it’s not that kind of schedule I’m talking about. I mean our schedule for Jinnie, Sungie and Binnie to regress.”

Those words had the effect Chan expected, but had hoped to avoid: everyone talking over each other again, occasional excited squeals sounding in the room, accompanied by the three boys in question whining about this being embarrassed. Chan rolled his eyes again, but he couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

“Come on guys, calm down. We need to decide this.” He said. The others slowly calmed down, taking at least a few minutes before Chan could talk again. “We’ve been doing this without a set schedule, but I think having fixed days for the boys to regress would be good. Because if we just have them regress whenever they want, it might cause problems if they feel little during an important schedule or something like that.”

He explained. A hum of agreement went around the room.

“So you think we should restrict the time they regress, hyung?”

Asked Jeongin, seeming a bit unconvinced. Chan shook his head.

“No. I think we need to know how often each of them feel little and work around that, and also have a day off before really important schedules so that they can regress to avoid stress-regressing during schedules.”

Jeongin nodded at that, seeming a bit calmer. Chan smiled to himself. It was cute how protective Jeongin was of the littles.

“And what about the people who will take care of them, hyung?”

Asked Minho. Chan turned to him.

“We will rotate. So that we can have people working on the days they regress, too, and everyone will still be able to be with them regularly. Woojin suggested three of us should stay back with them in the morning and go work in the afternoon, and the ones who work in the morning come home to take care of them in the afternoon.” The idea seemed to satisfy everyone. Chan smiled and turned to look at the three regressors. “What do you guys think?”

He asked. Changbin was the first to answer, nodding his head.

“Seems good, hyung.”

Hyunjin and Jisung followed, copying the boy. Then Hyunjin bit on his lip.

“But… but I… can I have Woojin hyung with me when I regress? At least in the morning…”

The shy request melted Chan’s heart. Hyunjin was looking down, cheeks pink. Chan looked at Woojin. The boy seemed to be holding back from going up to the boy and hugging the hell out of him.

“Of course, Jinnie. This is supposed to make you comfortable.” Hyunjin smiled. “Let’s try to arrange this, then, how often do each of you feel little?”

He asked. Hyunjin answered first.

“I think… once a week? Usually that.”

Chan nodded. Changbin was next.

“Not very often. If I had to specify I would say… every two weeks?”

Again, Chan nodded, before turning to Jisung, whose cheeks were red.

“Sungie?”

He prompted. Jisung sighed.

“Uhn, usually twice a week.”

Chan chose to not let his smile show.

“Ok. Do you guys prefer to regress together or on your own?” The answer was a unanimous ‘together’, which had everyone chuckling. “Good. Then… what do you say we do it like this. Jinnie will regress every Saturday. Binnie can join him every other Saturday. And Sungie can regress every Saturday and every Wednesday. Does that seem good?”

The three boys looked at each other, nodding, before Changbin turned back to Chan and nodded.

“It’s good, hyung.”

Chan smiled.

“Ok. Any requests? Woojin will be there every Saturday morning to take care of Hyunjinnie.”

Chan turned to Jisung, who was squirming. The boy bit on his lip.

“Can… I don’t want to be without either you or Innie, hyung.”

He admitted. Chan smiled.

“Ok, Sungie. One of us will be here in the morning and the other in the afternoon, Alright?” Jisung nodded. “Binnie?”

Changbin shrugged.

“I want Lix to stay for a bit.”

He said. Chan noticed that despite trying to sound as if he didn’t care, the boy’s ears were red. He smiled.

“Ok. All set. But remember, guys, if you ever feel little outside of this time, come to one of us. Always, ok? We’ll find a way to work with it no matter what.”

All of the boys nodded. Chan smiled.

“Well. Tomorrow is a Saturday.”

Everyone beamed at him.

Chapter Text

Despite their conversation, on the next day things didn’t go as smoothly as Chan had hoped. Of course, he had expected that. They were all new to this, and even though they had already taken care of the boys they still had very little experience. But he had also hoped it would be easier to get all three boys in headspace.

Felix got the easiest job. Changbin had walked into the kitchen as soon as he woke up, and Felix had only had to offer making pancakes for the boy to smile widely, easily slipping into headspace and asking to help.

Chan had to admit that his own job wasn’t that hard. Jisung blushed and hid his face against his pillow when Chan woke him up, but soon he let Chan put him in his squirrel shirt and white overalls. In less than ten minute the boy was dressed for the day, space pacifier in his mouth, one of his hands gripping Chan’s hoodie and the other holding his Fox plushie.

Woojin, however… Chan hadn’t expected Woojin, of all people, to have trouble helping someone regress. But when he walked into Hyunjin’s room – Jisung still clinging to him sleepily, but at least walking on his own – both boys were looking at each other, clearly unsure of what to do. There was a tinge of red on Hyunjin’s cheeks, and Woojin was fiddling with the clothes in his hands, clothes clearly meant for Hyunjin.

“Wooj?”

Called Chan. The boy looked at him and sighed.

“Channie, hey, I… do you mind helping me?”

Chan nodded, entering the room.

“Everything ok?”

He asked. Woojin nodded.

“Just… I’ve never done this before. I guess I don’t quite know what to do.”

Admitted the boy. Chan smiled to himself. Woojin clearly cared a lot about Hyunjin. Maybe that was the reason he didn’t know how to act; he was too scared of doing something wrong and losing the boy’s trust.

“Hey, and this goes to both of you. We’re all learning together, here, ok? This is about helping each other. We’ll make mistakes along the way, but we will always find a way to make things right. Ok?” Woojin and Hyunjin nodded. Chan smiled. “Good. Sungie, baby, my cute little ray of sunshine, can you stay with Woojie hyung while Channie helps Jinnie?”

Jisung giggled at the nickname and kissed Chan’s cheek before skipping to Woojin, smiling and holding the boy’s hand.

“Done, ‘yungie!”

The other three laughed at the cuteness. Chan extended his hand to the older, and Woojin handed him the clothes. Then the leader turned to Hyunjin. The boy blushed.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Jinnie.”

He said, moving closer to the boy. Hyunjin whined.

“Hyung… I-I don’t think I can…”

Chan shushed him, caressing the boy’s hair.

“Hey, we’ve done this before, Jinnie.” He said, keeping his voice soft and hopefully calming. Hyunjin looked at him for a second, then sighed, his grip on the sheets loosening. Chan smiled. “That’s it, baby. Come one, lie down so hyungie can get you out of these uncomfortable wet pull-ups into some new ones.”

When Chan and Woojin entered the kitchen with Jisung and Hyunjin in tow, they couldn’t help but to laugh.

The counter was a mess. There was milk, flower, egg shells and god knows what else scattered around, and in the middle of all that a bowl dripping batter all over.
A bit to the side they spotted Changbin happily chattering while Felix cooked what was probably going to be their breakfast.

“Oh my, did a hurricane pass through here?”

Asked Chan. Changbin and Felix looked up, and the older rapper smiled widely.

“Morning, Channie hyungie! We’re making pancakes!”

Chan couldn’t help but to laugh, despite the mess. Changbin had batter on his cheeks and all over his shirt, but he seemed extremely excited.

“Are you? That’s really cool, Binnie baby, thank you for helping Lix.”

Changbin’s proud smile was the cutest thing ever. Then his eyes moved to the other two littles in the room and he squealed.

“Jinnie, Sungie!”

The first one to react was Hyunjin, waving and pulling on Woojin’s hand so the older would walk to Changbin with him. Changbin wasn’t too patient, though, so he rushed over and pulled Hyunjin into a hug before the boy could even move. Not that Hyunjin seemed to mind, giggling and hugging Changbin back.

Once they were done hugging, Changbin turned to Jisung and pinched his cheeks, making Jisung giggle and open his arms. Changbin smiled as he hugged the boy, and Chan took note of how much more careful the boy was being with Jisung in comparison to how he had hugged Hyunjin.

“Channie hyung, is Jiji really little today?”

He asked, once the hug fest was over. Chan then understood why all of the care and smiled fondly.

“I don’t know, Binnie. Baby boy, how old are you feeling?”

He asked. Jisung looked at him, then scrunched up his nose thinking hard – Chan internally laughed as he noticed Jisung was trying to copy his ‘thinking face’ – then held up three fingers.

“Three? Wow, Sungie, you’re a big boy!”

Said Woojin, who hadn’t spoken until then. Jisung beamed and nodded.

“Sun’ie bi’ boy!”

He said. Chan smiled and ruffled his hair.

Breakfast wasn’t too much of a mess, mostly because they’ve been doing meal time with the littles for long enough to know they had to set down some rules. So Chan fed Jisung and halfway through the meal Hyunjin seemed to get tired of feeding himself and scooted closer to Woojin to get fed. And Changbin, always proud of being the oldest and an example, did his best to eat without spilling anything.

Once they were done, Woojin offered to take care of the mess on the counter, and Chan couldn’t say he was surprised when Hyunjin insisted on staying back and helping. Chan smiled. They would have a long day, but he was pretty sure it would be the most relaxing one they had in a while.

Felix couldn’t help but to laugh as he watched the three boys on the floor playing. They had agreed on making a Play-Doh city – aka, Changbin had decided they should play with Play-Doh and the others had agreed –, and were now working hard on their project. And it was funny, because each of them had their own little personality that shone through so well even when they were focused on their play.

For one, Changbin talked non-stop. There was a constant stream of words and sentences coming out of his mouth, and Felix had already noticed they weren’t directed at anyone but the boy himself. If Felix was playing with them, he would have maybe been a little annoyed. Hyunjin and Jisung didn’t seem to mind, though.

Hyunjin was cute to watch. He constantly eyed what Changbin was doing and tried to copy it, smiling proudly once he thought it was good enough and showing it to Woojin. Woojin, who was on the couch trying to read and probably getting no reading done, due to the constant calls from Hyunjin to look at this or that Play-Doh sculpture.

And Jisung was there being his cute giggly self, pulling on Hyunjin or Changbin’s clothes when he wanted something, before pointing at this or that piece of Play-Doh with his nose. Differently from Changbin, Jisung barely talked. Maybe it was because of the pacifier in his mouth, or maybe it was just his little personality. Whatever it was, it was cute to watch.
And then Hyunjin decided he wanted the green Play-Doh. Which was with Jisung.

Woojin wasn’t happy about the situation. It was definitely less than ideal. But he couldn’t help but to find it a bit funny. He hadn’t expected to be in the couch with Chan and Felix halfway through the morning while each corner of the room was occupied by a different little.

He also thought it was really endearing the way Changbin had instantly jumped to defend Jisung when Hyunjin snatched the piece of Play-Doh from the boy, even if it ended up with the two boys fighting.

Chan’s alarm rang, and Woojin laughed to himself at the relieved expression on the boy’s face. It was hard for all of them to put the littles in time-out, but Chan had had the most difficulty with it. Not that Woojin blamed him. If Hyunjin was clinging to him and crying the way Jisung had been to Chan, he wasn’t sure if he would have the strength to go through with the punishment.

“Sungie? Baby, why didn’t you say anything?”

Woojin frowned at the leader’s worried voice. He turned around and immediately felt his heart ache for Jisung. The boy was sniffling, his overalls wet.

“S-sun’ie didn’ know, then w-wased in t-ti’e-out.”

Explained the boy. Woojin saw Chan trying to make sense of the sentence.

“You didn’t know you had to go? And then you didn’t want to ask to be changed because you were in time-out?”

Jisung nodded, rubbing his eyes. Woojin made a mental note to discuss that with all the littles later.

“Sun’ie s-sowy.”

Chan shook his head, pulling the boy into a hug.

“You don’t have to apologize for having an accident, Sungie. It happens. What were you in time-out for?”

Jisung sniffled.

“Bited Ji’ie.”

Said the boy. Chan nodded.

“Yes, you bit Jinnie. Should you do that.” Jisung shook his head. “Very good, you shouldn’t. But next time you have an accident or need to go potty while you’re in time-out, you can call us, ok?”

Jisung nodded. Woojin smiled as Chan picked the boy up, caressing his hair as he took Jisung to get changed.

Woojin almost jumped, startled, when his and Felix’s alarms rang on the next second. He smiled to himself, relieved, getting up to get Hyunjin.

There were no more struggles after that. Hyunjin and Changbin went right back to playing after apologizing to each other, and Jisung joined them not long after, getting apologies as well and apologizing to the best of his abilities. And then before they knew it, it was time for lunch, and Jeongin, Seungmin and Minho were coming back.

Woojin had expected things to go smoothly. Jisung was the main problem when it came to separation anxiety, crying whenever he couldn’t find his caregivers, so he was the one everyone was worried about. But Jisung didn’t fuss, letting Chan pepper his face with kisses and giving a few kisses of his own back, before settling on Jeongin’s lap and waving at Chan as the older left.

They should have expected that, considering that Jeongin was also Jisung’s main caregiver, along with Chan. The fact was just a bit hard to remember at times.

Changbin also hadn’t been a problem, but no one expected him to be. He did pout as Felix kissed his cheek saying goodbye, and he did whine at the boy, asking him to come back quickly, but that was it. Simple and easy.

And then came Hyunjin’s reaction, which was what surprised everyone. When Woojin gave him a little peck on the cheek and said goodbye, Hyunjin’s eyes promptly filled with tears and the boy burst out crying. Everyone immediately froze. Woojin’s eyes widened and he looked around, but everyone seemed as lost as him. Then he acted on instinct, pulling Hyunjin closer.

“Bug, hey, shh, why are you crying?”

Hyunjin wrapped himself around him, still crying. Woojin was at a loss of what to do. He gestured for Felix and Chan, who were by the door, to go. He didn’t want Hyunjin’s clinginess attack to affect Jisung and Changbin.

“No go, Woojie no go.”

Mumbled Hyunjin, still crying against Woojin. The oldest rubbed the boy’s back.

“Jinnie, hyungie has to go work. I’ll be back before you even notice, bug.”

He said. Hyunjin shook his head.

“No.”

He cried. Woojin looked at the others in the room. Jeongin had walked away with Jisung, probably to avoid a meltdown from the boy, and Minho had settled on the couch with Changbin, who was only paying half attention to Minho as he watched Hyunjin with worried eyes. And Seungmin was frozen in place. Woojin focused on him. Seungmin met his eyes and seemed to unfreeze.

“Jinnie?” Called the boy. Hyunjin moved to look at him, the surprise halting his sobs. Seungmin smiled and kneeled on the floor, looking around and pulling a toy car closer. “Look at this, isn’t the car cool?”

He asked. Hyunjin blinked at him, mouth slightly open. Then he looked at Woojin.

“Go on, bug. Go play with Minnie.”

Hyunjin pouted.

“But Woojie go.”

He said. Woojin kissed his cheek.

“You’ll have so much fun playing that you won’t even notice I’m not here bug. Come on, I’ll be back real soon, ok? Promise.”

Hyunjin sighed, but let go of Woojin, hesitantly sitting next to Seungmin. Woojin quickly waved them goodbye, before leaving the house to avoid further breakdowns.
Once outside, he sighed. So that was the tough side of being a caregiver.

Chapter Text

Seungmin was feeling so many feelings at once he couldn’t quite process all of them. Hyunjin was currently on his lap, clutching the toy car Seungmin had given him and sniffling. He had started bawling as soon as Woojin left the house, and Seungmin and Minho had both panicked, before the younger decided to just do whatever he could think of and pulled the boy into a hug, gesturing for Minho to bring the pacifier that was on the coffee table over. It seemed to work at least a bit, because Hyunjin relaxed against Seungmin, although there were still tears running down his face.

So now Seungmin was watching the boy, anxious and scared, because he didn’t know how to deal with this. He had witnessed the boys in headspace before, two days earlier, so he wasn’t too weirded out, but he had never… been the one taking care of someone in headspace. He didn’t feel like he was up to the task. He shouldn’t have let Woojin go. He should have let Hyunjin cling to the boy so that Woojin would be with them now, and…

“Seungmin. Please stop overthinking, you’re stressing me out.”

Seungmin looked at Minho, who had spoken. The boy was sitting on the floor, helping Changbin build a racetrack with a few alphabet blocks.

“I don’t know what to do, hyung.”

Said Seungmin, and he noticed he sounded a bit panicked. Fair, considering he was a bit panicked. Minho sighed.

“Minnie, try to forget that this is Hyunjin. Right now, he is Jinnie, and he is four years old.”

Seungmin bit on his lip, noticing that that was indeed part of the problem. None of the solutions he came up with to help Hyunjin calm down felt right because he was thinking them for a nineteen year old. And Hyunjin wasn’t nineteen at the moment. He looked at the boy. Then he hesitantly combed the boy’s hair.

“Jinnie, don’t cry. Woojinnie hyung would be really sad if he saw you crying.” He said, softly. It felt weird to talk to Hyunjin like that, but it definitely got the boy’s attention. “That’s right, Wojinnie would be really sad if he came home and you were all sad and crying. Don’t you think he would like it better if he came home to see you happy?”

Hyunjin sniffled.

“Miss Woojie.”

He said. Seungmin nodded.

“I know you do. You’ll see him soon. But shouldn’t we do something fun while we wait? I promise time will go way faster if we’re playing.” Hyunjin didn’t seem too convinced. “And we can do something for Woojie hyung. Like a sculpture or a really pretty drawing.”

This made Hyunjin’s eyes widen. The tears stopped immediately.

“We ma’e drawin’?”

He asked, his excitement making his speech more jumbled than usual. Seungmin smiled.

“Yes, let’s make a really cool drawing for hyungie.” He said, feeling way more confident now. “We just need to wash your pretty face, then we can get your things to draw. Shall we go?”

Hyunjin nodded, albeit a bit hesitant. He let Seungmin pull him up, and the boy made sure to be quick in washing Hyunjin’s face and cleaning him up. Then he convinced the little to drink a bit of water and went back to the living room, drawing supplies in hand.

As he settled on the floor next to Hyunjin, Minho snorted.

“See? You didn’t need to worry.”

Seungmin stuck his tongue out at the older.

Minho cheered as he got an acorn, making the three littles whine and Seungmin laugh.

“Hyung, you’re the worst.”

Said the boy from the couch. Minho smiled.

They had started playing the Sneaky Snacky Squirrel game a bit after Hyunjin had finished his drawing for Woojin and Jisung had come back from his impromptu nap. The three littles had taken a while to agree on the game, and then had settled on the squirrel game. Then there had been a request for one of the caregivers to join them, and Minho had promptly offered himself.

Then they had gone through the hilarious journey that was Changbin explaining the rules, which Minho had to read as well, because he understood none of what the little explained. And then they had started the game.

Now, Minho knew Seungmin and Jeongin would have done what they could to lose the game, so that the littles would win. But Minho wasn’t about to pretend to be bad at a game, no sir. And he wasn’t about to let Changbin cheat, either. Behind him, Jeongin and Seungmin were laughing their asses off.

“Hyung, you’re so mean. Come on, they’re kids, right now.”

Said Jeongin, at one point, when Minho made sure Changbin lost all of his acorns when he landed on the ‘lose all you have’ slot of the wheel. Minho shrugged.

“They have to learn from an early age.”

He said, ignoring the way Changbin was pouting with his arms crossed.

Minho smiled to himself. He knew what he was doing, and he knew his teasing had a limit. He wouldn’t go far enough to actually upset the boy, and he knew exactly how much he could push to make the game last longer and be funnier without causing a breakdown. By his side, Jisung gasped.

“Sun’ie ‘etted a bwue!”

He said, raising a blue acorn. And maybe Minho’s teasing also had to do with his soft spot for Jisung. He knew the boy was the youngest in headspace, and consequently the one who always lost, because he didn’t know how to cheat and didn’t notice the others cheating. So maybe he wanted to give Jisung a chance to win.

“Wow, guys! Look at that! Sunny has almost completed his log!”

Said the oldest. (Jeongin had face palmed earlier when Minho explained that calling Jisung 'Sunny' made sense, since that's what it sounded like when the boy called himself 'Sungie' in headspace, but Minho thought it was really clever). Hyunjin gasped, and Changbin’s pout deepened.

“He’s cheating!”

Said the boy. Jisung immediately pouted and Minho sent Changbin a warning look.

“No one is cheating, Changbin, and you know that perfectly well.”

They had had that exact same discussion two rounds earlier, when Changbin accused Hyunjin of cheating and Minho had interfered before they ended up throwing acorns at each other.

Changbin scrunched his nose, but looked down. Jisung looked at Minho.

“Sun’ie no cheat?”

Minho smiled fondly.

“No, baby, you didn’t cheat. Hyung is playing attention to everyone to see if someone is cheating.”

Jisung smiled brightly at him.

Taking care of the littles wasn’t too hard, was what Minho decided after a while. They were cute and it was actually fun to be able to relax and play a few games for a while, even if they had to stop the bickering between Changbin and Hyunjin quite often. Overall, even if it was a bit tiring it was quite fun and calming. Until, that is, Minho noticed Hyunjin squirming next to him.

They had already moved on from the squirrel game and shifted between lots of activities, and were currently drawing in silence – a silence that was much welcome, because despite the adorableness, the boy could get pretty loud. And everything was fine, but Minho couldn’t help but to notice the discomfort in Hyunjin’s face. He frowned. What…?

Before he had time to even try to figure out the problem, Hyunjin sat up with his cheeks slightly red. He bit on his lip and looked around, spotting Seungmin and shuffling closer. Minho watched the interaction, quite curious.

“Jinnie?”

Prompted Seungmin, once the boy was by his side. Hyunjin fiddled with his – Woojin’s – hoodie.

“Hum, need change.”

He mumbled. Minho’s brain stopped working for a second.

He blinked, looking at Seungmin. The boy’s eyes were wide. Minho could see the panic in them.

“Oh, uhn, that’s, I…”

Hyunjin tilted his head. Seungmin looked around the room. His eyes met Minho’s, who immediately shook his head. Then the two of them turned and looked at Jeongin.

The maknae had apparently been watching the whole scene, because he snorted as Seungmin and Minho looked at him expectantly.

“I swear to god…” He moved, setting Jisung on the floor. “Sungie, can you stay with Minmin and Minnie while hyungie goes take care of Jinnie?”

He asked. Jisung – who had been colouring a page with red – frowned, looking at the other two caregivers warily. He shook his head.

“No no.”

He said. Jeongin sighed. Minho wanted to urge Jisung to just stay with them, but he knew better than to actually do that.

“Baby, do you like it when you have accidents and get all wet?”

Asked the maknae. Jisung quickly shook his head.

“No li’e.”

He said. Jeongin nodded.

“It’s uncomfortable, right? Well, Jinnie had an accident, and he is probably really uncomfortable. Innie has to change him. Can you stay with them while I go change him? Look, Binnie will be with you, too.”

He said. Jisung looked at him, then at Hyunjin, then at Seungmin and Minho. Then he pouted.

“Innie fast?”

He asked. Jeongin smiled and Minho cheered inside.

“As fast as the wind, baby boy.”

Jisung sniffled, and Minho noticed his eyes were teary. Then the boy shuffled closer to him and looked at him, before hiding against his chest. Minho knew his expression was probably ridiculous, but cut him some slack. Jisung was adorable clinging to him.

“Hey, Sunny, we’ll have fun while Innie isn’t back, ok?”

He greeted. Jisung just sniffled. Minho watched as Jeongin took Hyunjin by the hand and guided him out of the room. He hoped Jisung didn’t start crying now.

It was a bit hard to get Hyunjin out of his pants, because the boy was excited, giggling and jumping around. But Jeongin managed, and soon he had succeeded in getting the boy to lie down. He pulled the boy’s shirt up and smiled as Hyunjin looked at him expectantly.

“Whose cute little tummy is this?”

Asked Jeongin, lightly tickling Hyunjin’s tummy. The boy squealed.

“Innie, stop!”

He said, dragging out the ‘o’. Jeongin laughed, stopping his tickling and kissing Hyunjin’s tummy.

“Such a cute little boy, our Jinnie.”

He said. Hyunjin beamed at him.

“Innie cute too!”

He said, and Jeongin smiled, pinching the boy’s cheek.

“Thank you, Jinnie. Now let’s get you out of these pull-ups, hum?”

Hyunjin smiled at him sweetly.

It wasn’t that hard to change the boy, thankfully, and Jeongin already had experience from the times he had changed Jisung. Plus, the pull-ups were easier than the diapers Chan had bought when Jisung first had an accident. Those had been discarded early on, since they were quite babyish and they didn’t want Jisung to feel embarrassed. Soon Jeongin and Hyunjin were both sitting on the bed, and Hyunjin pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Than’ou ‘yungie.”

He said, and Jeongin couldn’t resist the urge of pulling him into a hug, pressing kisses all over his cheeks.

“It’s not that easy, little boy, you have to pay hyungie back with lots of kissies.”

Hyunjin seemed to love the idea, because he giggled and turned the game around, putting his hands on Jeongin’s cheeks and kissing him three times. Jeongin could only laugh and hug the boy.

Once they were back to the living room, Jisung squealed and rushed to Jeongin, pressing a kiss to his cheek, making Jeongin laugh. Jisung had really contaminated all of them with his kissing habit. Then he giggled and rushed back to Minho, settling once again on the boy’s lap. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. Minho smirked.

“Hyung, are you stealing my baby?”

Asked the maknae. Minho chuckled and hugged Jisung tightly.

“Yup, he is all mine now.”

He said, shaking Jisung and kissing his head. The boy giggled as Minho attacked his ribs with tickling fingers.

“’yungie, noooo.”

He complained, still giggling. Minho let the boy go, laughing. Jeongin smiled when the boy didn’t run from the older, instead settling right next to Minho and leaning against him. This was good. This meant that in case of an emergency Jisung would be less likely to throw a tantrum about not having Chan or Jeongin with him. The maknae smiled.

“Well, what were you guys doing before we came back? I bet Jinnie wants to play too.”

As they should have expected, Changbin, who had previously been quiet, immediately perked up, making all three caregivers laugh.

“We were playing this game with the farm animals, and, and we were putting the, the cows…”

Jeongin laughed, settling next to the boy with Hyunjin still clinging to him. He would need to pay a lot of attention if he wanted to understand what Changbin was trying to explain.

Chapter Text

Things quickly settled into a routine. They adjusted their schedule a few times, noticing Jisung could regress only for half a day on Wednesdays, and that sometimes Changbin wanted to join him on those half days. They ended up setting Changbin’s schedule so the boy regressed with Jisung on Wednesdays on the weeks he didn’t regress on Saturday. It was a good arrangement, and it forced the other boys to take a break from working too, because they needed to be home to take care of the regressors, so that helped with keeping them from overworking themselves. But even once everything was settled, Chan could feel something was wrong.

Everyone was already used to the boys’ regression, even the boys themselves. Jisung had stopped blushing every time Chan or Jeongin helped him regress, although he still blushed a bit when they mentioned his headspace when he wasn’t regressed. Changbin didn’t even mind talking about the things he liked as a little when he wasn’t regressed. And Hyunjin… Hyunjin seemed to be on the same vibe as Jisung, but underneath that Chan could see a sliver of hesitance that he quite understand the reasoning for.

“I think it’s just a matter of time, Channie. Jisung took a really long time to accept himself, and Jinnie has struggled a lot with hiding his regression in the past.”

Had been Woojin’s explanation. Chan wasn’t convinced, but he chose not to interfere unless it became obvious that whatever this thing was it was affecting Hyunjin negatively.

Despite Woojin’s words and his decision, however, Chan kept an eye on Hyunjin. He needed to, if he wanted to make sure everything was fine with him. What he found out was: there was something definitely bothering Hyunjin. The boy seemed jumpier and a bit less cuddly than he usually was. He didn’t let others sit on his lap, and he seemed a bit uncomfortable during practice, especially by the end of the day. There was definitely something going on.

The problem, though, was that Chan had no idea when this had started. It could have been at any time since the first fight with Seungmin, but so much had happened since then that Chan had no idea of when this specific change in behaviour had happened.

He sighed as looked at Hyunjin. The boy was smiling as usual, and he seemed perfectly fine. Chan hoped the boy would either solve whatever was bothering him or go to Chan soon, because he really didn’t want to have to interfere.

A whine and pull on his sleeve brought Chan back to reality. He blinked and looked at Jisung, then looked at the clock. Half past twelve. It was time to take Jisung home for the boy to regress. Taking one last look at Hyunjin, Chan shook his head, then looked at Jisung and smiled.

“Let’s go, Sungie.”

Chan wasn’t surprised when Hyunjin showed up in the dorms in the middle of the afternoon. The boy had stared at Jisung longingly as Chan pulled the squirrel boy out of the practice room so they could go home for him to regress, and the leader knew the boy was feeling the urge to regress. He didn’t know why, Hyunjin didn’t usually feel like regressing outside of his schedule, but it wouldn’t be a problem if he wanted to.

Plus, the boy had been acting weird since the day before. His dancing was lacking in a way it never was, and he looked really uncomfortable all the time. Chan didn’t know what was causing it, and he had already decided to give Hyunjin until Friday to tell him, or else he would have to ask.

Either way, he wasn’t surprised when the boy showed up, telling him Woojin was on his way back to help as well and promising he wouldn’t be a burden.

“You’re not a burden, Jinnie, don’t worry. Come on, let’s get you dressed so you can play with Sungie. He’s feeling quite old today, almost four, right, Sungie?”

The boy had smiled widely, nodding. Chan pinched his cheeks and helped him get up, knowing better than to try to leave the boy alone. Then he offered Hyunjin a hand. The boy bit on his lip.

“I, uhn, I’ll just use the bathroom real quick, hyung.”

Chan nodded.

“Ok, meet me in my room, then.” Hyunjin nodded and left. Chan turned to Jisung and laughed as the boy smiled widely and kissed his cheek. “Precious baby. Let’s go.”

Hyunjin didn’t take long to join them in the room. Chan offered him a pacifier, which the boy took, and then gave him one of Jisung’s stuffed toys, making a mental note to buy things for him, so he wouldn’t have to use Jisung and Changbin’s things.

“Can you lie down, baby?”

He asked. Hyunjin hummed, lying down. Chan smiled and carefully pulled the boy’s pants down, then his underwear. And then he frowned, noticing the red spots on the boy’s inner thigh. Was that a rash? He carefully brushed his finger against it, which made Hyunjin whimper.

“H-hyung, that hurts!”

He complained, taking out his pacifier. Chan raised an eyebrow. Oh, great. Hyunjin definitely had a rash.

“Uhn, Jinnie…”

Hyunjin looked at him, eyes big and innocent, and Chan noticed the boy was on the verge of slipping. He bit on his lip. Hyunjin would probably be mortified.

“What?”

Asked the younger. Chan sighed.

“You might have a rash.”

As expected, Hyunjin’s face flamed up.

“W-what?”

He asked. Chan smiled sympathetically, trying to calm the boy down.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m sure it’ll be better in no time.”

He said, keeping his voice as sweet and reassuring as possible. Hyunjin still looked a bit panicked.

“I, it’s, uhn, I…”

He said. Chan frowned.

“Hey. Relax, Jinnie. It’s fine. Hyung will be more careful and change you faster next time, ok?”

He noticed a hint of something in Hyunjin’s eyes, but it was gone in a second. The boy nodded.

“I, ok, hyung. Thanks.”

Chan smiled, and kissed his cheek.

“Good. Now come on so you and Sungie can play a lot!”

He said, hurrying to dress the boy to try and give him as little time as possible to be embarrassed.

Chan didn’t think much of that weird interaction, quickly forgetting about Hyunjin’s weird reaction. He simply assumed that Hyunjin’s rash was caused by them not changing him often enough when the boy was in headspace, and that was it. Woojin arrived soon after Hyunjin and Jisung started playing and they had had a pretty calm day with the two littles. It took Chan a day or two to notice that the whole situation was still stuck in his head, unnoticed.

It was a coincidence that led Chan to finding out what was actually going on. Hyunjin’s reaction to finding out he had a rash had been weird, but Chan hadn’t even noticed it had been stuck in his mind, and he wouldn’t have noticed at all if he hadn’t been thinking exactly about that when Hyunjin shuffled into his room two days later, cheeks red.

“Hyung?”

Called the boy. Chan looked at him.

“Yes?”

Hyunjin bit on his lip.

“Uhn, I, I need a new pack of pull-ups.”

Said the boy. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. Ok, I’ll tell manager. How soon?”

Hyunjin shrugged.

“I have enough for two more days.”

He said. Chan smiled and nodded.

“Ok, I’ll talk to manager.”

Hyunjin smiled and left. And now Chan knew there was definitely something wrong. It hadn’t been too long since they last bought Hyunjin his pull-ups, and the package usually lasted more than a few days. It didn’t have to do with the boy’s regression, because they had different pull-ups for him when he was in head-space. So why…? Did that have anything to do with Hyunjin’s rash? The boy had seemed extremely anxious about that, as if it was his fault.

Chan bit on his lip. Then he got up and peeked out of his room, spotting Hyunjin in the living room. Being as silent as he could, he snuck into the boy’s room, thankful that there was no one else there. Then he headed to Hyunjin’s closet, looking around for a second before he found the box where the boy kept his pull-ups. As he thought might happen, he found four pull-ups there.

Chan left the room with his mind running. Why had Hyunjin lied? Four pull-ups were enough for four days, not two. What did this mean? Did Hyunjin…? An idea popped into the leader’s head. He checked their schedule. Five days until the next Wednesday. Chan slowly started coming up with a plan.

Chan told the others to not interfere, assuring them he would explain everything in the due time. He was grateful when none of the boys questioned him, thankful that they had enough trust in each other to accept this kind of situation. Then, on Wednesday morning, he started putting his plan into action.

Chan woke Hyunjin up softly, pressing a little kiss to his cheek and helping him sit up. He tended to avoid babying the boys who regressed when they weren’t supposed to regress, so that they would accidentally slip, but this time that was exactly what he wanted. At least out of Hyunjin.

The boy frowned at the treatment, but said nothing. Chan knew he wouldn’t. Hyunjin was very slow in the morning. The boy also said nothing about the way Chan helped him get dressed and fed him his breakfast, and Chan could see his plan was working. There was no way Hyunjin was going to go through the whole day without feeling little if Chan kept this up.

The trip to the company was fine, practice went by as normal. Chan made sure to go easy on them to avoid stressing the boys too much. And then, when midday rolled around, Chan softly smiled at Hyunjin.

“Jinnie. Are you feeling ok, buddy?”

He asked. Hyunjin pouted.

“Feel kinda weird, hyung.”

Chan tilted his head.

“Weird how, baby?”

Hyunjin hummed.

“Kinda little.”

Chan raised an eyebrow, as if that was new information.

“Do you want to go home with us? You can regress for a while.”

He offered. Hyunjin hummed.

“But went last week… and Binnie…”

Chan interrupted him.

“It’s not a problem, Jinnie. Come on, I can see you slipping. Let’s go, baby.”

Hyunjin bit on his lip, then sighed and got up. Chan smiled in victory.

Jeongin took the task of helping Jisung and Changbin regress, leaving Chan to deal with Hyunjin. Woojin had gone home with them, but Chan had asked the older to just let him deal with this. Woojin didn’t question.

And that’s how Chan ended up with the task of helping Hyunjin regress.

“Let’s go, baby?”

He asked, smiling. He noticed the nervousness in Hyunjin’s eyes, but now he knew it had nothing to do with actually regressing. Chan offered a hand. The boy took it.

Once inside the room, Chan picked up an outfit for Hyunjin and his pull-ups for headspace. Then he smiled.

“You can lie down on the bed, Jinnie.”

He said, softly. Hyunjin blushed.

“I’ll just go to the bathroom, hyung.”

Said the boy, as he had gotten used to doing. Chan had never questioned it before. Maybe he should have. The leader stopped him before he could move.

“Hyungie can take you, Jinnie.”

He said, watching the boy’s response. Hyunjin, as expected, froze. Then he gave Chan a forced smile.

“Uhn, actually, I, uhn, I don’t really need to go, hyung.”

He said. Chan shrugged, as if he didn’t know the reasoning behind the boy’s words.

“Well, then can you let hyung undress you?” He asked. For a second neither of them moved. Then Chan noticed Hyunjin’s eyes watering. The boy shook his head. Chan put a hand on Hyunjin’s back. “Jinnie, hey. Whatever is bothering you, hyung won’t laugh or tell anyone.”

He said. Hyunjin’s knuckles turned white on his knee. Then he let out a heavy breath.

“Ok.”

He mumbled. Chan squeezed the boy’s shoulder and got up, pulling the boy with him. Hyunjin let himself be handled. Chan felt his heart ache for the boy, because Hyunjin was clearly distressed, but this would be for the best.

He carefully undressed the boy, and, as he had expected, found out Hyunjin was wearing one of his normal bedtime pull-ups. He had not been expecting it to be wet, but he said nothing. Instead, he looked at the boy.

“Jinnie, can you tell hyung why are you wearing them?”

He asked, softly. Hyunjin looked down.

“Need… them.”

He said. Chan noticed, with a bit of surprise, that the boy was struggling not to slip. He quickly decided this was a conversation they could have later.

“Ok, baby. Hyung will get you out of these yucky pull-ups and get you all clean and dry, ok?”

He said. Hyunjin sniffled and nodded, swiftly slipping into his headspace.

Chan was careful with him, cleaning him up and dressing him in sweatpants and one of Woojin’s hoodies, knowing Hyunjin loved wearing the older’s clothes. He smiled once he was done.

“There, baby, all done. Wanna go out to play with Sungie and Binnie?”

He offered. Hyunjin beamed and took Chan’s hand. The leader smiled. Even if the conversation to come once the boy was out of headspace was going to be hard, Chan wouldn’t trade these moments for the world.

Chapter Text

Hyunjin frowned as he tried to figure out how to put the next wooden block on top of his tower without making it fall over. He really didn’t want it to fall over. He had worked hard to build it, and Sungie was right by his side, helping him by handing him the blocks Hyunjin needed. If his tower fell it would make a lot of noise, and it would scare Sungie, and then he would cry and be sad and Hyunjin really didn’t like seeing others sad.

“Jinnie.” Hyunjin ignored the call. He had to put it on the perfect place. “Jinnie.”

Woojie hyung called again. Hyunjin sighed, frustrated. Couldn’t Woojie hyung wait just a little bit?

“Woo ‘yung ca’in’.”

Came Jisung’s tiny voice. Hyunjin sighed, then put the block down, pouting as he looked at Woojin.

“Hyungie, was aaaalmos’ don’.”

He complained. Now his tower was ugly and incomplete. His hyung smiled softly at him and Hyunjin considered forgiving him for interrupting his process.

“I know, bub, but Channie hyung told me you had a rash the other day, so I don’t think it’s wise to let you sit on those wet pull-ups for too long. You have to tell us when you have an accident, remember?”

Hyunjin’s pout deepened. He didn’t want a change now; he wanted to play!

“Wasn’ sittin’.”

He mumbled. Woojie hyung snorted.

“Oh, I see we have a smart one here. You may not be sitting, Jinnie, but you’re still wet, so we better go change you. Come on, hyung will be super quick.”

Hyunjin looked at his tower, then at Jisung, then at Woojie hyung. Then he sighed.

“Okie, but we be super fast, right?”

Woojie hyung smiled.

“Yes, we’ll be super super super fast. Now let’s go.”

Hyunjin huffed, but rushed to the older, holding his hand. The faster they left the faster they could come back, after all.

“Jiji, hyungie be back ‘eally fast, okie?”

He called, pulling Woojie hyung to his room. He didn’t hear Jisung’s reply.

Hyunjin ended up forgiving Woojie hyung for interrupting him, because Woojie hyung tickled his tummy and made silly faces at him while he changed him. Plus, Hyunjin’s wet pull-ups really were uncomfortable, so it was nice to be out of them. Still, he wanted to go back to play, so as soon as Woojie hyung was done with putting on his pull-ups, Hyunjin slipped from the bed, ready to go back to the living room. By his side, Woojie hyung laughed, holding his wrist.

“Jinnie, we have to put you back in yours sweats, bub.”

Hyunjin looked down, noticing he was indeed not fully dressed.

“Oh.”

He said, before looking at Woojie hyung. The older ruffled his hair and Hyunjin laughed, because it felt nice.

“Come here, hold my shoulder.”

Hyunjin obeyed, and soon he was fully dressed. He excitedly grabbed Woojie hyung’s hand.

“We pleeeease go now?”

He asked. Woojie hyung just smiled.

Woojin watched as Hyunjin let go of him as soon as he spotted his half-built tower, rushing to it. He laughed, going to settle next to Jeongin and Chan on the couch.

“Someone is excited today.”

Said the maknae, making Woojin nod. Hyunjin hadn’t stopped playing for a second since Chan helped him regress, and he was still hyper. Changbin had played with him for a while, before getting bored and moving on to play with his toy cars along with Jisung. Except Jisung had been the one to get tired this time, looking around until he spotted Hyunjin building his tower and crawled over to help.

It was fun to watch. The boys didn’t seem to mind doing their own things alone if the others didn’t want to play, even if Jisung refused to stay completely alone. They got along well most of the time, and except for the usual things – fights for toys or because of cheating on a board game – they had no problems at all. Hyunjin and Changbin were careful with Jisung when the boy was littler, and they all played well together when they were around the same age.

Which was exactly why the interaction between Hyunjin and Jisung that followed Hyunjin going back to the living room confused everyone.

“Jiji, Jinnie bac’! We can…” Hyunjin stopped talking because Jisung had turned his back to him, arms crossed and a pout on his lips. “Jiji?”

Called the slightly older little. Jisung didn’t answer. Instead, he whined and rushed to the couch, settling between Chan and Jeongin and hiding his face on the youngest’s lap. Woojin raised an eyebrow, looking at Chan and Jeongin, who simply shook their heads in confusion. Then he turned to Hyunjin. The boy’s head was tilted to the side like a puppy’s, and he was pouting.

“I think Jisungie is sleepy, Jinnie. But hyungie can play with you, yeah”?

Hyunjin didn’t seem too convinced, glancing at Jisung in uncertainty. But as Chan caressed the younger’s hair and Jisung leaned into the touch, Hyunjin shrugged. He picked up a block.

“Woojie hyungie help Jinnie put the block?”

He asked, and Woojin couldn’t help but to smile.

Woojin only noticed something had happened when he heard sniffling. He had been completely immersed in his play with Hyunjin. The boy was making up a story about being a tiger who lived in the forest with his friend the bear – Woojin –, and even Changbin had joined them as a chinchilla not long after. Woojin didn’t even know how Hyunjin knew what a chinchilla was.

So none of them had noticed the commotion halfway through their play, none of them noticed Chan leaving. But Woojin did hear Jisung’s muffled cries once Chan and the boy returned, which made him stop immediately and turn to the boy. Jisung was sitting on Chan’s lap, just like he had been since he started ignoring Hyunjin. Except now he was crying, and…

“Was he wearing those clothes before?”

He asked. Jeongin and Chan flinched, startled by the sudden question. Jeongin was the one who replied.

“No. He just had a little accident.”

Explained the younger. Well. That explained the tears. Woojin hummed in understanding. Chan seemed to have things under control, though, so Woojin decided he could go back to playing with the other two. Except before he could the two boys were walking past him, rushing to the couch. Woojin chuckled. They were too sweet when it came to each other in headspace.

Changbin was the first one to speak, putting a hand on Jisung’s hair and awkwardly patting it.

“Sunny, are you ok?” He asked. Jisung hid his face on Chan’s chest. Changbin pouted. “It’s ok if you had an accident. You’re still a baby.”

Said the boy. Woojin cringed. In their experience, Jisung got really embarrassed when the others referred to his quite young headspace. He wasn’t sure how the boy would react considering he was actually in headspace this time.

Surprisingly, Jisung looked up.

“A-acident otay?”

He asked, sniffing. Changbin beamed and nodded.

“Yes, it’s ok! Jinnie has accidents too, right, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin’s face lit up, and it made Woojin want to laugh, because the boy seemed so excited.

“Yeah, Jinnie too!”

He said. Woojin had no idea why Jisung’s expression suddenly turned sour. The boy looked at Hyunjin, then hid back against Chan’s chest and went quiet. Woojin could see Hyunjin’s pout from where he was. He could also see the tears in Hyunjin’s eyes. Before this could turn into a big mess, he hurried to the boy.

“Mr. tiger, you left your friend bear in the middle of the woods! Bear got lost and almost didn’t find the way out.”

It seemed to work at least a bit, because Hyunjin sighed and let Woojin pull him away. He still pouted for at least half an hour longer, before becoming too immersed on their pretend play to remember that he was upset. Woojin didn’t forget, though. He exchanged glances with Chan, to try and understand what had happened. Chan had shrugged, which left Woojin even more confused. But he could worry about it later. For now Hyunjin was Mr. tiger and he was Bear, and everything else could wait.

Hyunjin sighed as Jeongin woke him up in the morning. The previous day had been good, he had had the chance to relax and play with Jisung and Changbin, and just be little. And it had been amazing, although Jisung seemed to be a bit upset with him for whatever reason. That didn’t matter much, they could solve it later. But now he was no longer in headspace, and the fact that Chan knew he had been wearing his pull-ups during the day and having accidents finally downed on him completely.

“Jinnie?”

Hyunjin looked up. Jeongin was looking at him with a worried pout on his lips, frowning.

“Yeah?”

He asked. Jeongin tilted his head.

“Are you ok? You seem upset…”

Hyunjin smiled slightly.

“I’m ok, Innie. Just… need to talk to Channie hyung about something.”

Jeongin looked him up and down, then nodded.

“Come to me if you need anything, ok, hyung?”

Hyunjin smiled and nodded, leaning in to peck Jeongin’s lips before the younger left to wake the others.

The day wasn’t too bad. Whatever had been bothering Jisung in headspace the day before seemed to be gone, and Chan didn’t say anything about Hyunjin and his pull-ups, didn’t even glance at him twice. Hyunjin did feel a lot more self-conscious now that the leader knew, but at least he wouldn’t have his secret exposed to everyone just yet.

And then came the time to go home. Hyunjin was tempted to claim that he needed to practice a bit more, but one look at Chan told him he wouldn’t escape that easily. And that’s how he ended up sitting with Chan on the older’s bed, not even half an hour later.

Chan waited for him to speak, he always waited, but Hyunjin had no idea what the leader wanted him to say. ‘Hey, I’ve been wetting myself during the day so I decided to wear pull-ups all the time’ didn’t seem like the type of sentence he would like to say out loud. So he said nothing. Chan sighed after a while.

“So. You’ve been wearing pull-ups during the day.”

Hyunjin groaned, cheeks reddening.

“Yeah.”

He said. Chan frowned.

“Why?” He asked. “Not that it’s a problem, it isn’t. But you’ve never…”

Hyunjin fiddled with his shirt.

“I… I’m scared.” He admitted. Chan frowned and Hyunjin sighed, knowing the leader would need more of an explanation than that. “I… when I get too anxious with something I tend to… I tend to have daytime accidents. I’ve been getting better at controlling it. Or… I was. But then at the practice room… I don’t… wearing pull-ups during the day is really embarrassing, but it’s way less embarrassing than having an accident in front of everyone.”

Chan was frowning. It didn’t help ease Hyunjin’s nerves. The boy seemed to notice, because his face softened.

“Jinnie, it happened once, in a very specific situation. It won’t happen again.”

He said. Hyunjin felt like crying.

“But it might. It did happen. Everyday I come home, and I, it’s…”

He rubbed his face, as if that would help him feel less mortified. Chan sighed.

“That’s because you’re stressing over it. You get stressed because you think you’ll have an accident, so you put on your pull-ups. Then you get stressed about wearing them, stressed about us finding out and stressed you might actually need them. And then you end up needing them.”

Hyunjin knew Chan was right. His first accident was because of the whole fight with Seungmin, it wasn’t random. And that had scared him, made him question his ability to not have accident, so he knew it was the stress making him have daytime accidents. But what was he supposed to do? He didn’t feel safe without his pull-ups, anymore.

“Hyung, I can’t go out without them.”

He said, and he noticed he was close to crying. A tinge of pain flickered on Chan’s eyes, and then he took Hyunjin’s hand.

“Then we won’t go out. For the next three days we’ll stay home, you and I. And you won’t wear them. Then, if you have an accident, no one will know.”

He said. Hyunjin bit on his lip. It sounded like a good solution, but…

“I… can…”

He tried to ask, before deciding not to. Chan, however, was way smarter than he let on.

“Or you can stay home with Woojinie.”

Hyunjin felt his cheeks reddening.

“I can’t ask that from hyung, and I… he’ll know.”

He said, half-panicking. Chan shook his head.

“He’ll love staying home to rest, and he won’t care, Jinnie. Promise.”

Hyunjin looked at Chan for the first time. The older’s eyes were soft and sincere. He sighed.

“Can you tell him instead of me?”

He pleaded. Chan smiled.

“Of course, Jinnie. Now come on. The others are probably hungry.”

Chapter Text

Hyunjin woke up feeling confused. He hadn’t been woken by his alarm, or Jeongin, or one of the others. He had just… woken up. Naturally. What…? He looked around. No one in sight. Was he still sleeping? Had he fallen into a parallel universe? Had…?

“Hyunjin?”

The voice made him jump and scream, startled. Which in turn made the person who had called him scream. Which ended up with both, him and Woojin, screaming.

“Shit, hyung, you almost killed me!”

He complained, a hand over his heart. Woojin glared.

“I almost killed you? I just called your name!”

Hyunjin took another deep breath.

“Did you want anything?”

He asked, still trying to situate himself and understand this weird day that had just started. What time was it?

“Just thought you might want to wake up before twelve.”

Hyunjin’s widened.

“Before…?” He checked his phone. 11:30. “Hyung! We’re late, we need to go, we…”

He was interrupted by Woojin walking over and holding his shoulders to stop him from trashing around trying to disentangle himself from his sheets.

“Jinnie. Hey, breathe. Did you forget we were supposed to stay home today?”

Hyunjin frowned. Stay home? Why would…? Oh. Oooh. Shit.

“Fuck…”

He mumbled, cheeks reddening. Woojin’s hold on his shoulder’s softened and the older gently ruffled his hair.

“Come on, go shower and change. There are leftovers from breakfast waiting for you.” Hyunjin hummed, nodding to show he had heard and understood. “And don’t be all awkward and embarrassed. I’m not here to judge or make fun of you. I feel happy that you chose me to stay with you.”

Hyunjin hummed again, feeling his cheeks reddening even more.

“Hyung feels safe.”

He mumbled as an explanation. He heard Woojin chuckle.

“I’m glad. Now go change.”

And saying that he left.

Hyunjin sighed, lying down and closing his eyes. Chan had told him the day before, after dinner, that he had talked to Woojin about staying home with Hyunjin for the next few days. Hyunjin had no idea how he had forgotten that, considering how embarrassed he felt to have Woojin stay back to ‘babysit’ him.

He had taken quite long to sleep, the idea of spending the next day without his pull-ups making him a bit anxious. He knew he didn’t really need them, and he knew his accidents were simply caused by him stressing over them. Still, he would be really embarrassed if he had an accident in front of Woojin.

Except there was nothing he could do now. They were already there, and choosing someone else to stay back with him would mean telling someone else about this problem, and he would rather not. So he sighed again and got up. A shower was what he needed. At least it would give him some time to relax.

After helping Hyunjin with breakfast, Woojin had dragged the younger to the living room and turned on the television, offering Hyunjin a smile and a wide selection of games.

“Come on, we should use this time to make you at least a little better at gaming.”

Hyunjin snorted.

“Hyung, I’ll obliterate you.”

He teased back, making Woojin laugh.

“You wish, brat. Come on, choose one.”

Hyunjin obeyed.

They played for hours. With a bathroom-break and then lunch-break they finished their gaming session in the middle of the afternoon, before exchanging games for a movie. Hyunjin smiled contentedly as he snuggled against the older, ready for the movie. He only noticed that Woojin had been working hard to distract him from his own thoughts when he came back from the bathroom after asking for Woojin to pause the movie for a bit.

“What time is it, Jinnie?”

Asked the older, as Hyunjin re-entered the living room. The younger frowned, but checked his phone.

“Half past seven?”

He replied. Woojin gave him a big smile.

“Hm, and how many accidents did you have?”

Hyunjin’s mind blanked and he tilted his head, then frowned.

“None?” Woojin’s smile grew and he nodded. And then Hyunjin understood what the older meant. “Oh.”

He said, very smartly. Woojin laughed.

“Yeah, oh. Told you you would be fine.”

Hyunjin smiled sheepishly. Inside, he was squealing like crazy because he had done it. He had spent a whole day with no accidents, even though he was really focused on gaming and the movie. Woojin opened his arms, an invitation. Hyunjin rushed to the older, once again settling on his arms, sighing happily as he felt the boy’s warmth.

“Thank you, hyung.”

He said. Woojin kissed his temple.

“It’s what I’m here for, Jinnie. Now let’s go back to the movie, I’m curious.”

Hyunjin smiled and pressed play. Then he pressed closer to Woojin and let himself relax.

He didn’t mind it when the others got back, and he didn’t mind it that Chan had had to tell them why Hyunjin was staying home. He had made it through the day, and maybe it was silly to be so excited about it, but damn, he was happy. So he let the others fuss over him and demand that he go to them if he ever had a problem, because he knew they only wanted to take care of him and make sure he was happy and healthy. And he was ok with letting them do that.

“Why did you choose me?”

Hyunjin looked up at Woojin at the sudden question, frowning. They were watching a movie and the sun was already going down, meaning Hyunjin had practically succeeded in spending three whole days with no accidents. He was proud of himself, and he didn’t even care that the others had found out about his little problem, because he was now well again, thanks to them and their support.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

Woojin shrugged.

“Channie was the one who found out about your accidents, and he was the one who suggested this solution. You could have stayed with him. Or you could have stayed with Innie and Minnie, since you guys are dating. Or Changbin, you two are really close. Why me?”

Hyunjin frowned. He hadn’t actually stopped to think about why he had chosen Woojin.

“I guess… you just feel safe? I don’t want Innie and Minnie to see me like this, it’s embarrassing. And Channie and Binnie… I don’t know, hyung. I love them, and I trust them, but just… you…” he stopped to think again. “Back when we were trainees you always offered your house for me to stay over when I stayed at the company too late. And you took care of me, you let me crash at your place, eat with you, everything. I guess I just… got used to having you look after me. So you feel safe.”

He explained as well as he could. He hoped Woojin understood. The boy smiled and reached over to squeeze Hyunjin’s hand.

“I’m glad, Jinnie. And I’ll always be here to look after you, for as long as you need me, ok?”

Hyunjin smiled and crawled over to the older boy, settling on Woojin’s lap. The older laughed, hugging him.

“Thank you, hyung.”

They were still cuddling hours later, when the others arrived at the dorms. Chan just smiled and moved them to a lying position, draping a blanket over them. Sometimes people just need a little bit of love to get over their difficulties. Now they just had to figure out Jisung.

Chapter Text

Jisung shook his head, mentally scratching out yet another sentence. He sighed, turning to lie on his tummy. This wasn't working. Of course it wasn't, Jisung knew it wouldn't. This whole thing was ridiculous, so of course every way he came up with to tell Chan about it was ridiculous too. But he was running out of time. He was tired of feeling upset and being mean to Hyunjin in headspace, and he really wanted to just solve this before the next time they regressed, which would be in the next morning.

Except it was already past midnight and the next day was approaching. Soon Chan would be waking him up so Jisung could spend the day in headspace, and Jisung still didn't know how to tell him that... with another sigh, Jisung rubbed his temples. This had been going on for a while, and although him and Hyunjin always made up out of headspace or the next time they regressed it upset Jisung that he was being such an ass without giving the others an explanation. He knew Chan was keeping an eye on him, and he knew the leader would soon interfere if Jisung didn’t solve this on his own. But Jisung couldn’t. He didn’t know how.

He closed his eyes with yet another sigh. A few minutes resting might help him come up with a solution.

Jisung blinked confusedly when he felt someone pulling his pants up. He looked up and spotted Chan by his side, adjusting the waistband of the sweatpants he had apparently just put on Jisung.

"'Yung?"

Asked the boy, noticing he had his thumb in his mouth. The older boy looked up at him and smiled.

"Oh, hey, baby, you're awake." Jisung felt himself melting at Chan's words. He hummed and Chan chuckled, kissing his forehead. "Come on, my sleepy squirrel, let's get you on your shirt and go. Jinnie and Binnie are already having breakfast."

Jisung hummed again. On the back of his mind he knew he should take this moment to talk to Chan. But he still hadn't figured out what to say, and his brain was still foggy from sleep, so...

He let Chan help him out of his shirt and into a soft hoodie, sighing as he felt his normal underwear under his pants. He would just have to suck it up and get used to it.

Chan worriedly watched Jisung as the boy sat next to Changbin and Hyunjin in silence, not playing or interacting with the older two, a permanent pout on his lips. The leader didn't know what had gotten him so grumpy. The boy was usually clingy and quiet after naps, sometimes grumpy, but he wasn’t often like that after waking up in the morning, and if he was it usually only took 15 to 20 minutes for him to go back to his usual smiley self. To see him so upset and angry was unusual, and it was making Chan a bit anxious.

"Is he ok?"

Came Seungmin's question, after a while of watching the boys. Chan bit on his lip.

“I don’t know.”

Recently, they had gotten used to the boy’s sudden grumpiness and slight tantrums when it came to Hyunjin. They didn’t like it, and they didn’t know what caused it. But they were used to it by now, and even if they were still trying to understand it and work it out they already knew how to deal with it. This, though, was new. Jisung had never been that upset from the very beginning. It was unsettling.

“He has been getting grumpier and grumpier recently…”

Mused Woojin. Seungmin nodded. Chan sighed.

“We’ll have to talk to him.”

He said. He didn’t want to. Part of being a leader was being patient enough to wait for the others to go to him with their problems instead of questioning them every time he noticed something was wrong. Chan still wasn’t the best at figuring out how much time was too much time to let a problem go without being addressed, although he was improving. But he figured he had already given Jisung more than enough opportunities to come out and ask for help. The next step was offering help despite the lack of a request to do so.

It turned out he had given too much time. Again.

The only signs of the storm were a gasp from Hyunjin, a whimper from Jisung, and then Hyunjin's voice, in that order.

"Jisungie had accident!"

Chan expected anything, from Jisung crying to him trying to hide the wet spot on his pants, to him hiding behind something or someone. What he was not expecting was for the boy to push Hyunjin with enough strength to make the boy fall down.

"Jisung!"

He said, more out of surprise than anything. Jisung didn't look like he regretted it, crossing his arms in obvious anger. And then Hyunjin started crying.

Woojin was quick enough to stop Changbin, who was on his feet in a second, ready to fight Jisung. Seungmin seemed to catch on quickly too, and he rushed to Hyunjin, pulling the crying boy into his arms. And Chan was left with Jisung. He looked at the boy. He knew he had to punish him, because he had done something bad, but he couldn't help but to feel that there was more to that whole situation than what they could see. He felt guilty, and he didn’t even know why.

But he couldn’t just let this pass.

"Jisung. Come with me."

The boy's teary eyes almost made Chan forgive him with no punishment. Instead, he took Jisung to the bathroom.

After cleaning the boy up and putting him in new clothes, Chan noticed Jisung was crying. For a second, he panicked.

"Jiji? Little prince, why are you crying?" Jisung just shook his head. Chan frowned. "Baby, you gotta tell appa what's wrong."

Jisung shook his head again. Chan sighed. Jisung was giving him no other choice.

"You'll still be put in time-out, Jiji. I can see you're upset, but you can't push people like that. Come on, 15 minutes. And remember that if you need to go potty you can ask us anytime. Ok?"

Chan's eyes widened as Jisung started crying harder, but he had no choice. He carefully led the boy to the corner of the living room.

It took only five minutes for Jisung to get up. Chan raised an eyebrow, ready to tell the boy his time wasn't over, but then he caught Jisung's eyes.

"Sung?"

He asked. Jisung sighed.

"I'll go take a nap."

Chan really needed to get to the bottom of this.

Jisung's mind was a mess. He hated slipping out of headspace so suddenly like that, and he hated even more to fight with Changbin and Hyunjin and not make up before slipping out of headspace. He had been doing that last one a lot recently, although he had never quite fought with them for real. He just tended to avoid the boy a lot recently. But now he had pushed the older, had made him cry. He had made Hyunjin upset, had made Woojin angry, and he had made Chan worried. All because he couldn't just go up to Chan and tell him what the freaking problem was.

Jisung sighed. He knew he shouldn’t have let Chan talk him down in the morning, he knew he should have stopped the older and either forced what he needed to say out or asked the boy for a little bit of time. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t, and now he had made a mess. The boy sniffed, drying a stray tear from his cheek. He hated this situation, and hated how even after everything they had gone through he still wasn't able to just be honest with Chan from the beginning.

He looked at the door. It had been a while since he locked himself in his room. He tried to tell himself he wasn't upset that no one had gone to check on him. And maybe he wasn't upset per say. He was just... extra sensitive to things like that and he really wanted the comfort of one of his hyungs there with him.

And then, as if on cue, the door opened. Jisung blinked in surprise as Chan entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Sung?"

The older called. Jisung bit on his lip, the happiness of having Chan come to check on him mixing with the fear of the conversation that was to come.

"Hey, hyung."

Chan moved to sit next to Jisung on the bed. He took the younger's hands in his.

"Are you ok?"

Jisung nodded.

"I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you."

Chan squeezed his hand.

"Don't worry about it. But we still need to talk about what happened."

Ah, yes. There is was.

Jisung sighed. He knew Chan was right and that they needed to figure this out, but he really didn't want to talk about this. He still wasn't ready.

"Do we really have to?"

He asked. Chan sat down next to him.

"You're usually an angel in headspace, Sungie, but you've been acting so cold to Hyunjin. This is not like you at all. And the way you pushed him today... come on, what's going on?"

Jisung looked away. For a second he tried to get the words out, but they just wouldn’t.

"I don't know."

He said, instead. Chan sighed.

"I can tell you do, Sungie. Or at least you have some idea, but you don't want to tell me. Why?"

Jisung cringed, playing with his shirt. On one hand he was glad Chan knew him enough to call him out on his bullshit. On the other…

"Cause it's embarrassing, and it might not even be the reason."

Chan hummed.

"Well, even if it is not the reason whatever you're considering is something that's bothering you." He said. "And you don't need to be embarrassed. You know I won't judge."

He continued. Jisung sighed, then bit on his lip.

"I, it's just... Jinnie is always... because of his bed-wetting, you know? And he needs them during the day too when he's in headspace, but you guys only..."

He groaned, angry that he couldn't say what he wanted, and a bit angry about wanting it in the first place. Chan, however, seemed to understand, pulling Jisung to sit on his lap and allowing Jisung to hide his face in his chest before speaking.

"Are you talking about Jinnie's pull-ups?" He asked, softly. Jisung nodded, the fact that he wasn't looking at Chan helping a lot. "So you're upset because Jinnie wears pull-ups all the time in headspace… and you don't."

Jisung nodded again, rubbing his face on Chan's chest to dry the few tears that had fallen from his eyes.

“Yeah.”

He replied, voice shaking a bit. Chan sighed and caressed his hair.

"Baby, if you wanted to wear pull-ups in headspace you could have just told us."

He said, softly. Jisung whined.

"It's embarrassing."

He mumbled. Chan kissed the top of his head.

"It's not embarrassing at all, baby. Want to tell me why is it that you want them?"

Jisung refrained from chewing on Chan's sweater like he wanted to and forced himself to answer.

"I didn’t even know I w-wanted them ‘till really recently. But they m-make me feel safe and comfy."

He confessed. Chan hummed.

"Do they? Well, then I guess we'll have to buy you some."

He said, softly. Jisung whined.

"I-I don't really need them."

He tried to reason, although that was the last thing he wanted to do. Chan huffed.

"You just said they make you feel safe, and the whole point of you regressing is making you feel good and less stressed, Sungie. So yes, you need them. Plus... you actually need them almost as often as Hyunjinnie when you're in headspace."

He said. Jisung blushed. It was true, actually. Hyunjin needed the pull-ups when in headspace because he had a weak bladder. It was what caused him to wet the bed at night, and something that meant he needed to be very in touch with his body's needs daily. Except when he was in headspace he rarely noticed when he had to go, leading to accidents. But because of his regular bed-wetting, the others hadn’t even waited to test his ability to ask for the bathroom in headspace. Instead, they always put him in pull-ups.

Jisung, however, slipped younger than Hyunjin and Changbin, and ended up needing pull-ups more often than not, despite not having a problem like Hyunjin. Still, the others didn’t seem to notice that. Jisung remembered in the beginning he didn’t mind, he liked the trust they put in him by letting him wear normal underwear. But then after a few times of wearing actual diapers because he was extra little, he noticed he actually maybe liked them, and seeing Hyunjin systematically put in them upset him a lot, because he didn’t get that treatment and often had to deal with accidents and clothes’ changes.

"I guess..."

He mumbled, after thinking for a bit. He felt Chan smile against his head.

"We were a bit stupid, hum?"

He asked. Jisung frowned and looked up.

"What do you mean, hyung?"

He asked. Chan shrugged.

"You do have accidents really often, just like Jinnie. Still, we always put him in pull-ups, but never think of doing the same for you. Even just to avoid having to guess if you're young enough to need them or not."

Jisung blushed.

"Stop saying that."

He whined. Chan chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"Ok, baby. Can I tell the others about this?"

He asked. Jisung sighed. He knew they would ask, and Chan would have to tell them something.

"Ok."

He mumbled. Chan tickled him lightly, making Jisung giggle.

"Ah, there's my favourite smile. They won't care, Sungie. Promise."

Jisung nodded and closed his eyes. Before he knew it he was asleep.

At night, Chan lay down next to Woojin after making sure all of the littles were comfortably in their beds and Jisung was feeling well. Woojin immediately shuffled closer.

"So, did you find out what the problem was with Sungie?"

Chan chuckled at how eager and worried Woojin sounded. He kissed his boyfriend, to get him to relax a bit.

"Calm down, Wooj. And yes, I did."

Woojin looked at him expectantly.

"So?"

Chan rolled his eyes.

"Sungie was upset because Hyunjin gets to wear pull-ups in headspace and he doesn’t."

Woojin seemed as surprised as Chan had felt when Jisung told him the problem.

"I thought he didn’t like them?"

Said the older. Chan nodded.

"Me too. But apparently he does. He told me he used to feel embarrassed about wearing them, so he didn’t notice he liked it. But then he started feeling more comfortable being little around us and noticed he actually liked it, and us putting Jinnie in pull-ups in headspace made him realize he wanted that too. He said they make him feel safe."

Chan saw Woojin's eyes soften as he told the older exactly what Jisung had told him.

"That's cute. Why didn’t he ever say anything?"

Asked the older. Chan shrugged.

"He was pretty embarrassed about it. It's probably the reason he was upset, because he had to ask and Jinnie just got them without doing anything."

Woojin hummed.

"Well, Jinnie needs them."

He argued. Chan smiled, because he had thought that, too, before he stopped to actually think about it.

"Sung needs them too, if you think about it. More often than not he regresses to a younger headspace, and we have to guess if he needs them or not. He usually does. We could have avoided a few accidents if we had just assumed he needed them and let him tell us when he didn't."

Woojin tilted his head, seeming to think, then nodded.

"I guess you have a point." Then he smiled. "Well, this means we need to buy things for Sungie. Did he talk about what he wanted, exactly?"

Chan smiled, recalling his talk with the younger.

"Actually, yes. Do you remember back at the very beginning, after he had a few accidents and we bought those diapers with the alphabet blocks pattern?"

Woojin nodded. Chan had gotten those because they were the ones with the shortest shipping time. He had regretted it a bit, later, because they were actual diapers, not pull-ups, and he thought that made Jisung even more embarrassed about wearing them. Apparently he was wrong.

"Did he say he wanted those? They were pretty baby-ish."

Chan nodded.

"Apparently that's the idea. He said pull-ups don't feel the same."

Chan could see the fondness in Woojin's smile, and he knew the boy agreed with him: this situation was adorable.

"Well. Let's buy them for him, then."

They both smiled.

Chapter Text

Jisung looked back at Chan, pouting one more time to try and get out of what Chan had convinced him to do. The leader ignored him, gesturing towards Hyunjin. Jisung huffed, but shuffled closer to the slightly older boy, who was sitting on the couch, playing video games with Seungmin and Jeongin. The fact that the other two were there didn’t help Jisung at all.

“Jinnie?”

He called. Hyunjin looked up, offering him a slight smile.

“Hey, Sungie. Are you feeling better?”

Jisung felt warmth fill his heart. He had just pushed Hyunjin and made him cry the day before, and that had been their last interaction until now. And yet, Hyunjin was worried about him, asking him if he was ok.

“Uhn, you’re… not upset with me?”

He asked, carefully. Hyunjin frowned.

“Why would I…? Because you pushed me? Sungie, you were little, and I’m sure little you had his reasons. I mean, I probably made you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed by screaming about you having an accident like that.”

Jisung felt his cheeks heating up a bit, but he was glad Hyunjin wasn’t upset.

“Oh. Uhn, yeah, I… I did have a reason.”

He knew that was his opportunity to just come out and say it, but once again the sentence was stuck in his throat. Hyunjin looked at him, head slightly tilted. Jisung could see Seungmin and Jeongin, by the boy’s side, pretending they weren’t listening while trying to listen in.

“Are you trying to tell me something here?”

Jisung pouted, then once again looked back. Chan was still standing by the door, watching them.

“Hyung…”

Tried Jisung. Chan snorted.

“Sungie, come on.”

Jisung sighed.

“I was upset cause you got to wear pull-ups without asking for it and I never got to.”

He said, speaking probably way too fast, but he knew Hyunjin could understand him. The boy was looking at him, an amused look on his face.

“You’re telling me you were jealous because you wanted to wear pull-ups too?”

Jisung thought of correcting the term ‘pull-ups’, but decided not to. Instead, he plopped down on the couch, taking the only free game controller.

“Just shut up and press play.”

He mumbled, embarrassed. Hyunjin chuckled, and instead of pressing play he pinched Jisung’s cheek.

“Why are you embarrassed, Sungie? Binnie hyung said it himself, you’re a baby in headspace. It’s only natural for you to…”

Jisung groaned, covering Hyunjin’s mouth.

“Don’t say it, I’ll choke you.”

A snort, and then Seungmin’s voice.

“Kinky.”

And after a second of shock all of them burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, I hate all of you.” Said Jisung, trying to catch his breath. “Come on, press play.”

Jisung loved his found family.

Chan smiled as he took a look at Jisung’s sleeping form. The boy was curled up on the bed, his pacifier in his mouth as usual, and his dishevelled hair made him look extremely soft and cute. If he could, he would let Jisung sleep as much as he wanted, just so the boy could look that peaceful for longer. But they had agreed on the boy regressing on that day, exceptionally, to make up for him slipping out of headspace on the previous week, so Chan knew he had to wake him up.

As softly as he could, the leader sat down on the bed, next to the sleeping boy. Then he ran a hand through Jisung’s hair.

“Sungie. Wake up, baby.” He called. Jisung didn’t move. “Jiji, come on. Wake up time, bub.”

This time, Jisung whined and hid his face on his pillow. Chan smiled to himself.

“Oh, what is this? My baby Jiji can’t wake up? I think that’s a job for the tickle monster, then.”

He said, immediately running his fingers over Jisung’s ribs. It had the desired effect, as Jisung squealed and turned around, trying to stop Chan’s hands.

“Dada, ‘tooob!”

Squealed the boy, and Chan still had to get over the warm feeling he got in his heart whenever Jisung called him ‘appa’ or any variant of that.

“Oh, I see it worked.”

He said. Jisung gave him a wide smile, lifting his hands towards Chan. The older chuckled fondly and pulled the boy into a sitting position, letting Jisung wrap his arms around his neck. The boy did, shuffling so he was sitting on Chan’s lap, then pressed a kiss to Chan’s cheek, before resting his head on Chan’s shoulder.

“Mo’nin’, dada.”

Greeted the boy, soft and sleepy. Chan hugged him tighter, kissing Jisung’s temple.

“Morning, baby. Can you lie down so dada can change you out of your pyjamas?”

Jisung hesitated for a second, but nodded. Chan smiled and lay the boy down, undressing him and then getting him ready for the day. He didn’t miss the soft smile on Jisung’s face as he finished taping the diaper around the boy’s hips, and he couldn’t help but to laugh, kissing Jisung’s tummy.

“My baby is so cute.”

He said, making Jisung giggle and hide his face on his stuffed fox.

Chan proceeded to dress the boy in his bunny onesie, and then picked Jisung up once again.

“Shall we go eat breakfast?”

Jisung just hummed, nodding against Chan’s shoulder. Chan smiled and got up, making sure to grab Flower and give it to Jisung before they headed out.

Breakfast was nice. It had been a while since it was only the two of them like that, just relaxing, and although Chan loved taking care of the other two boys and didn’t mind letting others take care of Jisung, this was nice. He could tell Jisung enjoyed it, too, because he had refused to leave Chan’s lap even for a second. He let Chan feed him the cut-up fruits and then a piece of toast, then had pouted his way into having Chan hold his sippy cup for him.

Chan gave Jisung his pacifier and rocked the boy slightly for a while after he finished eating, smiling at how Jisung relax against him, Flower hugged close to his chest. Then after a few minutes of just enjoying the proximity, he prompted the little to get up and headed to the living room, where the littles’ toy box awaited them. Chan had taken the precaution of taking everything he would need to the living room before waking Jisung up, knowing that if he wanted to get anything from another room he would have to take Jisung with him and wanting to spare his back.

He sat Jisung on the floor and crouched down, opening the box. Then he took out most of the toys, laughing as Jisung watched him with a big smile and bright eyes. Once everything was out of the box, Chan gestured to all of it.

“There, baby. What do you want to play with?” Jisung frowned, once again trying to copy Chan’s thinking face, then pointed with his nose to the Play-Doh cans. Chan smiled and pushed them closer to the boys. “Feeling creative, are we? What are you planning to make, baby?”

He asked, opening the cans and placing them in front of Jisung.

“Wan’ ma’e Bewy.”

Said the boy, softly, and Chan was surprised, because he was starting to think Jisung had dropped to non-verbal.

“Berry? You want to make a berry? What kind of berry?”

He asked. This, for some reason, made Jisung giggle, his pacifier even falling from his mouth from how much he was laughing.

“Dada si’y! Bewy, dada! Bewy puppy.”

Chan took a few moments to understand that Jisung was talking about making Chan’s puppy, Berry, out of Play-Doh. When he did understand, however, he felt as if his heart was ready to burst out of his chest with affection. He couldn’t help but to coo at that, pulling Jisung closer and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Baby, how can you be so sweet?”

He asked. Jisung just giggled, giving Chan a kiss of his own – on the chin, because he couldn’t quite reach Chan’s face in the position they were in – before putting his pacifier back in his mouth. Chan thanked Minho for buying the boy a pacifier clip. This way they didn’t have to clean the thing every time it fell.

“Dada no wook, otay?”

He asked, very serious, and Chan solemnly nodded, picking a piece of Play-Doh of his own to pass time as Jisung played.

He was invested in his own Play-Doh masterpiece – a hedgehog – when Jisung pulled on his sleeve softly. Carefully placing his sculpture down, Chan looked at the little. Jisung was looking down, hands behind his back.

“What is it, baby boy?”

Asked Chan. Jisung pouted a little.

“Sun’ie don’, but no know if pwetty?”

He said. Chan was pretty sure his heart couldn’t take much more adorableness.

“But baby, you’re so talented! I’m sure it’s perfect. Come on, show dada.”

Jisung hesitated for only a second before extending his piece of art.

Chan smiled as soon as he saw it. Differently from Changbin, who had no skills for manual things, Jisung was quite good at making things when out of headspace. So Chan wasn’t that surprised when the sculpture in the boy’s hand could actually be recognized as a dog. Did it look like Berry? No. It was green and purple. But it didn’t look like a formless blob either.

“Sungie, that’s the prettiest sculpture anyone has ever made of Berry, baby! Oh, she will be so happy when I tell her about this…”

Jisung’s face immediately lit up and Chan gave himself a pat in the back.

“Pwetty?” Asked the boy, and Chan nodded eagerly. Jisung giggled. “Wo’ked weally ha’d.”

He said, nodding. Chan just smiled wider and kissed the boy’s head.

“It’s the prettiest sculpture ever, baby.”

Jisung couldn’t look happier.

After a few more Play-Doh sculptures Jisung seemed to get bored and they moved on to playing with plush toys. That had lasted quite some time, and involved running, although Jisung quickly gave up on that because running felt a bit too hard for him at the moment. And then Chan had decided it was lunchtime, and Jisung had offered to help.

Chan looked at the counter, wondering if Woojin would kill him if he left it like that for the older to clean. There were pieces of green onion everywhere, and soybean paste mixed with flour and sugar covering most of the counter, and Chan was pretty sure that would be hard to clean. But then he took one look at Jisung and decided he would have enough work washing the boy to justify asking someone else to clean the kitchen.

“Jesus, Sungie, you look like the abominable foodman.”

This made Jisung giggle, putting three of his fingers in his mouth before taking them out and exhibiting them to Chan.

“Clean!”

Yup, Chan would ask someone else to clean the kitchen.

“Come on, let’s wash those hands and eat before I give you a bath.”

On the bright side, Jisung let Chan feed him.

Jisung sat quietly on the floor as Chan prepared the bathtub, and the leader noticed the boy was getting sleepy. Good, he needed a bit of rest. Once he decided the temperature was good and the tub was filled a good amount he helped Jisung out of his onesie, frowning.

“Sungie, you’re wet, baby. You have to tell dada when you have an accident.”

Jisung blinked at him, then looked down, then pouted.

“Wet.”

Chan snorted, taking off Jisung’s diaper and throwing it away before helping the boy get into the tub.

He then gave Jisung his Nemo bath toys and his bath crayons, letting him choose what he wanted to play with. The boy chose the Nemo characters, smiling softly as he made Nemo swim around while making little noises. Chan let him play, figuring it would help him use the last bit of his energy.

Jisung didn’t play much. After making the plastic fishes swim around the tub a few times he whined, looking at Chan.

“What is it, angel?” The leader asked. Jisung pouted, then put his thumb in his mouth, before pulling it out with a grimace. Chan tried not to laugh, but failed. “That’s what happens when you put your soapy fingers in your mouth, baby. Do you want your paci?”

Jisung nodded eagerly, not at all bothered by Chan’s statement. Chan picked up the squirrel pacifier Jisung had been using and put it in the boy’s mouth, smiling as Jisung relaxed.

“I think it’s time we finish this bath, hum? Come on, turn around.”

Jisung obeyed and Chan softly shampooed his hair, rinsing it out carefully before draining the tub and helping Jisung wash his body. He ended up soaked too, because Jisung was getting more and more sleepy and needed Chan to hold him under the shower head to rinse the soap from his body, but he didn’t mind.

Once everything was done he wrapped Jisung in a fluffy towel and picked the boy up, carrying him to his room and lying him on the bed. Jisung was already asleep as Chan put him in a new diaper and his squirrel shirt and tucked him in, making sure Flower was there with him. He smiled and kissed Jisung’s forehead before settling on Jeongin’s bed to work for a bit while Jisung was asleep.

Chan only noticed Jisung had woken up when he felt a pull on his shirt and looked away from his computer to see the boy kneeling next to his bed. The leader smiled. Jisung’s hair was a complete mess, and there were pillow marks on his chubby cheeks. He looked adorable.

“Hey, baby, you woke up?”

Jisung hummed.

“Up up.”

He pleaded. Chan saved his song and closed his computer, putting it away and making space for Jisung next to him. The boy made a happy noise before climbing on the bed and snuggling against Chan. The older couldn’t help but to smile. It never failed to amaze him how tiny Jisung was.

“Did my sunshine sleep well? Did you have a good nap?”

Jisung hummed, nodding.

“D’eamed dada an’ Innie.”

Chan smiled.

“You dreamed of dada and Innie? That sounds like a great dream.”

Jisung just hummed again and Chan laughed, kissing the boy’s forehead. Jisung always got extra clingy and soft after naps.

“Dada, ‘tabewy mil’?”

He asked, after a few moments.

“You want strawberry milk?”

Jisung nodded.
"Want."

Chan laughed.

“We have to go to the kitchen to have it, baby. Can you get up?” A pout. Chan rolled his eyes fondly. “Come on, you’ve slept enough already.”

He said, sitting up and pulling the boy with him. Jisung pouted, but let himself be pulled along, out of the bed.

“Mil’?”

He asked, once he was up, seeming a bit more awake now.

“In a second, baby. Are you cold?”

Asked the older, because Jisung was only in a shirt and his diaper. The boy shook his head.

“No cold. Mil’.”

Chan snorted.

“Ok, you little monster. Let’s go get your milk.”

He said, pulling Jisung out of the room.

As they settled on the kitchen, Jisung with his milk and Chan watching him, the leader bit on his lip. He didn’t want to be selfish, but he wondered if the others would let him have a day alone with little Jisung per month, or something like that. He really missed giving this much attention to his baby.

“Dada want?”

Chan blinked, smiling and accepting the little bit of leftover strawberry milk Jisung was offering him. He would have to talk to the others and to Jisung, but for now he would just enjoy this.

Chapter Text

“Hey.” Woojin looked at his boyfriend. Chan moved to lie down facing him. “Does Jinnie have any toys of his own for when he’s in headspace?”

Woojin frowned, not even batting an eyelash at the topic of the conversation. It had become common for him and Chan to talk about the littles and being caregivers when they were relaxing together since a while ago.

“I… don’t think so? Don’t they all share everything?”

He asked back. Chan hummed.

“They do, but there are things that are, you know… theirs. Like Jisung’s stuffed animals and space pacifier, plus his clothes and his sectioned plate and squirrel sippy cup. Those are his and only his.” Woojin hummed. “Then Binnie has Gyu and Bubbles and his black paci.”

Woojin was starting to understand what Chan was getting at. The things he was talking about were things that the littles didn’t share, and that the other littles knew not to try and use or take. Changbin’s plush turtle and pacifier were all recent acquisitions, but were already fully his, and Jisung was very vocal to claim his things – and only then. But Hyunjin had nothing.

Stopping to think about it, Hyunjin never really talked about the things he liked when in headspace, and didn’t seem that interested in any of Jisung and Changbin’s toys. And he had fun with the boys without anything of his own, but Woojin noticed they didn’t have any type of comfort item for him, and that… that was just wrong.

“What should we do?”

He asked, frowning. Chan hummed.

“I was thinking you could help him shop for some stuff online. Since you’re his main caregiver and all.”

Woojin blushed, knowing Chan was doing that to tease him. Hyunjin had clearly chosen Woojin as his main caregiver, indeed, and Woojin couldn’t hide the fact that he was extremely proud of that. And Chan, being the tease that he was, used every opportunity he had to tease Woojin about that. Not that he left unharmed, no. Woojin was always ready to tease back, and Chan and Jisung’s relationship – even out of Jisung’s headspace – was a full arsenal. Of course they were only playing around, and they both knew it.

“It might be a good idea, actually. I can talk to him tomorrow.”

Chan smiled.

“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, though…”

Woojin smiled and closed the gap, pressing his lips against Chan’s.

Woojin smiled as Hyunjin knocked on the open door, gesturing for the boy to come in and settle down next to him on the bed.

“Come here, Jinnie, I don’t bite.” He said. Hyunjin blushed slightly, making the older chuckle. “Hey, why are you so nervous?”

He asked, once Hyunjin sat next to him. The two of them were now pressed together, their backs against the wall, and Woojin could see Hyunjin was extremely anxious.

The boy shrugged.

“Just… don’t know, a bit embarrassed.”

Woojin hummed and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“There’s no need to be. Come on, let’s look at a few things to help you calm down.”

Woojin had expected it to be simple. It should be simple. It couldn’t be that hard to choose a few toys and utensils and buy them, right? He had talked to Hyunjin, the same talk in which they had decided, as a group, to let Chan and Jisung have their own special ‘little-caregiver day’ once a month. (Minho had suggested ‘daddy-son day’ and he still had a bruise from Jisung’s punch on his arm.) So Woojin had talked this through with Hyunjin. It was going to be easy and quick. Right? Wrong, apparently. Because they were already on page 23 of the web search, and Hyunjin still hadn’t said anything.

Woojin wasn’t angry, he really wasn’t, but he was definitely a bit frustrated. Not because the boy was taking too long, but because he was interested to see what Hyunjin would choose, and because he couldn’t understand how it was possible for the boy to go through thousands of items and want none of them. Until, that is, he decided to pay attention to Hyunjin as the boy looked at the options and noticed something. For a moment he did nothing. Then he took Hyunjin’s hand.

“Jinnie.” The boy looked up and his eyes were glassy. “Do you want to do this in headspace?”

Hyunjin’s eyes shone at the suggestion, but he blushed.

“Uhn, there’s no… I just…”

Woojin waited for the boy to finish, but Hyunjin didn’t. Woojin sighed.

“Hey, come on. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’ll talk you down.”

The younger boy bit on his lip.

“Okay, hyung.”

Woojin smiled.

It only took a few minutes, a pull-up, and a soft onesie for Hyunjin to slip, and then once again they settled in front of the computer, except this time Hyunjin had a pacifier in his mouth and seemed much more comfortable. Woojin smiled at the cuteness.

The first thing that seemed to catch the boy’s attention was right in the first page, which made Woojin internally groan/laugh. It was a set of colourful magnetic tiles. Hyunjin pointed at it, squealing excitedly and making Woojin chuckle.

“You like this one, bub?”

Hyunjin nodded eagerly, and Woojin put it on his cart, pinching Hyunjin’s cheek afterwards.

They continued their journey through the website. The next thing to be added to their cart was a set of plastic kitchen utensils, including plastic food that could be cut up and tiny little plastic pots and pans. Hyunjin had been pretty excited about that one.

And then for quite some time nothing seemed to catch the boy’s attention. Woojin didn’t mind, he knew that since he was in headspace the boy wouldn’t hesitate in asking for what he wanted. And his patience was indeed rewarded after a while, in the form of a little whine coming from Hyunjin.

“Jinnie? What is it, bub?”

Hyunjin’s eyes were shining, and he pointed at the screen.

“Want.”

He mumbled softly. Woojin looked at the screen, and felt his eyebrow moving up.

“This one? Do you know what it says, bub?”

Hyunjin looked down, looking a bit shy, then nodded.

“Says p’incess.”

He mumbled. Woojin searched the boy’s face, taking in his posture and expression. Hyunjin seemed to be trying to make himself look smaller.

“Yes, it does. It’s a very cute choice, princess.” Said Woojin, taking notice of the way Hyunjin blushed slightly, but smiled behind his pacifier. Interesting. He clicked on the pink pacifier with ‘Princess’ written in glittery silver on the shield, adding it to the cart. Then he pulled Hyunjin closer and kissed his cheek. “A pretty pacifier for my pretty princess.”

He said, making Hyunjin giggle, which had been Woojin’s intention.

“Ji’ie ‘an be p’incess?”

Asked the boy, once he stopped giggling. Woojin squeezed his arm.

“You can be anything you want to be, bub.”

Hyunjin’s smile was the brightest Woojin had ever seen.

After that, Hyunjin seemed to relax even more, and soon they had an Olaf plushie, an Elsa doll and a Frozen themed kitchen set – which had a sectioned plate, plastic utensils and a sippy cup –, as well as the things they had chosen before. Hyunjin seemed pretty satisfied.

“Well, I think that’s enough for now, princess. Why don’t you go find one of your hyungies to play for a bit while Woojie hyung finishes things up here?”

Suggested Woojin, once he noticed how much they already had. Hyunjin smiled at him and took out his pacifier, kissing Woojin’s cheek. It was a habit him and Changbin seemed to have acquired from spending time with little Jisung.

“Than’ou, ‘yungie.”

Said the boy, and then put his pacifier back in his mouth and skipped out of the room. Woojin smiled, and once the boy was out of view he went back and bought a few surprise gifts before paying for everything and sending the other boys how much of the total sum they had to pay.

Woojin was excited to give Hyunjin his presents. The others convinced Chan to let them stay a bit later so they could see the boy’s reaction to what he got, and Chan had been forced to agree because all of them had paid for those things.

“It’s our right, Chan hyung.”

Chan and Woojin had laughed at how Minho and Seungmin nodded from behind the boy, as if Jeongin was some sort of leader. So much for being the youngest.

They all settled on the living room, making sure to explain to Jisung and Changbin, both in headspace, why was it that Hyunjin was getting so many presents. Neither of the littles seemed upset, which was good. And then it was time for Hyunjin to see his new things.

The first thing he opened was the Elsa doll. He immediately squealed at that.

“Hyungie! Elsa!”

He said, almost shoving it in Woojin’s face. Woojin laughed.

“I can see that, baby. Do you like it?”

Hyunjin squealed again, rushing to show Jisung and Changbin his new toy.

“Binnie! Sunny! This Jinnie’s new toy!”

Changbin and Jisung reached for it, picking up the doll and looking it over, and the trio seemed to be extremely entertained on their own, making the others laugh.

“Jinnie, baby, bring Elsa back here so you and her can see your other presents.”

Called Woojin. The mention of other presents was definitely more than enough to get the boy’s attention. Settling down, Elsa carefully placed on the couch, Hyunjin opened another box. The magnetic tiles elicited a less excited reaction, but Woojin knew that as soon as the boy saw them working he would love them.

Next came the toy kitchen utensils, which almost caused a mess as Chan and Woojin forbid the little from opening the thing right away. It was for the best, really, because it contained smaller parts, and Jisung was around plus Hyunjin would surely lose something and then complain later if they let him open it in their current mess of a living room.

Next, in order, came the Frozen plate-silverware-sippy cup combo, which Hyunjin handed to Chan with serious requests to only put tasty stuff on it. Then the Olaf doll, which Woojin could see would become Hyunjin’s inseparable friend, and finally, Hyunjin’s pacifier. The squeal the boy let out was loud, and it even startled Jisung. And then he was shoving the package towards Woojin, and as soon as the oldest managed to open it Hyunjin’s borrowed squirrel pacifier was on the floor, replaced by the princess one.

Woojin looked around the room. All of the boys were looking at Hyunjin’s happy smile, and Woojin could see them melting at the sight. He smiled.

“What do you think, princess? Do you like your presents?”

Hyunjin nodded eagerly.

“’ove them.”

He answered. Woojin chuckled.

“What do you say, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin was quick to get up, and then went around the room hugging each of the boys and saying thank you. He ended up hugging Jisung, too, because the boy whined about not getting cuddles, and then it was over.

“You’ve seen him opening them. Now go practice!”

Said Chan, shoving Jeongin, Seungmin and Minho out of the room. Woojin chuckled as Jeongin’s complaints were drowned by the door.

“You’re mean.”

He said. Chan snorted.

“The meanest.”

Woojin laughed. And then, once Chan and Felix had decided what to play with Changbin and Jisung, Woojin took Hyunjin’s hand.

“Jinnie, come with hyungie. I have a surprise for you.”

Woojin had intended to buy only one thing, really, but then he had seen the Elsa costume and hadn’t been able to resist. That was the first thing he gave Hyunjin. The shy smile and soft giggle were much different from the boy’s earlier squeals, and they showed how much the place’s atmosphere affected Hyunjin’s behaviour.

“Do you like it, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin nodded eagerly.

“Can Jinnie put it on?”

He asked. Woojin chuckled and nodded, helping Hyunjin out of his clothes and into the dress. Hyunjin smiled at the mirror once he was done, twirling once. Woojin laughed and kissed his cheek.

“You look like the prettiest princess in the kingdom.” Hyunjin giggled shyly. “I have one more thing for you.”

He said, and then picked up the package. Hyunjin eyed it curiously, before ripping it apart. Immediately, his eyes widened. The blanket was simple, baby pink and so soft, and Woojin had a feeling Hyunjin would love it. Apparently, he was right, because Hyunjin buried his face in the thing and stayed like that for so long Woojin worried he might have asphyxiated.

And then all of a sudden the boy turned to him, hugging him tightly.

“Jinnie love it, fank you, mama, fank you so much!”

Woojin’s heart stuttered and stopped. Mama? Had Hyunjin just…? He shook his head. They could talk about this later.

“You’re welcome, princess. Now what about we go out to play with Binnie and Sunny? You guys can play with Elsa and Olaf.”

Hyunjin hesitated. Woojin frowned. Hyunjin ran a hand over his dress.

“Tan mama an’ Jinnie ‘tay in?”

He asked. Woojin’s heart broke as he noticed Hyunjin was embarrassed about going out in a dress.

“But Jinnie, don’t you want to show Sunny and Binnie your new dress?”

He asked. Hyunjin shook his head vehemently. Woojin bit on his lip. Then he hummed and picked up his phone, sending Felix a message.

“’tay?”

Pleaded Hyunjin. Woojin hummed.

“Ok, princess. We can stay.”

Hyunjin didn’t smile, he simply moved to cuddle against Woojin.

The gloomy feeling didn’t linger for long. Less than ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and Felix was waling in. Hyunjin squealed, trying to hide behind Woojin. Then he took one glance at Felix and Woojin had to laugh at how his mouth formed a perfect o.

“I heard someone here got a pretty new dress?”

Said Felix, smiling brightly. Hyunjin looked at him up and down, at Felix’s skirt and lace shirt, and then at Woojin.

“Go on, princess.”

He prompted. Hyunjin shyly moved from behind him, shyly looking at Felix. The boy beamed.

“Wah, that’s such a pretty dress, Jinnie! I wish I had one like that.”

A shy smile took Hyunjin’s face.

“Elsa d’ess.”

He explained.

“It’s Elsa’s dress?” Felix asked. Hyunjin nodded. “Well, do you know who loves Elsa? Sunny. What do you say we go show him this pretty dress?”

Hyunjin bit on his lip, then glanced at Woojin.

“Mama tome.”

He requested. Woojin ignored Felix’s raised eyebrow.

“Of course mama will go with you, princess.”

Hyunjin smiled.

“We go?”

Woojin chuckled and got up, holding the boy’s hand.

“Let’s go.”

As they left the room, Woojin mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Felix. The boy wiggled his eyebrows. ‘You’re welcome, mama.”

Woojin would kill him later.

Chapter Text

Chan laughed as Hyunjin and Changbin talked excitedly about their play date. They were currently on the car, the two boys plus Jisung, Chan and Woojin, and the two littles were letting all of their excitement out through talking and squealing. Jisung was quieter, cuddling against Chan because he was still sleepy, but he had a soft smile on his lips that told Chan the boy was as excited as the other two.

Changbin had been the one to suggest the play date. He had come to Chan with his phone in his hands and showed the older the messages he had been exchanging with his friend Wooyoung, and had asked Chan if they could arrange something. The idea seemed great, so Chan had contacted the boy and then gotten the group’s leader’s number. Hongjoong was nice and sweet, and Chan and him had quickly arranged something.

They decided to have the play date at Ateez’s dorm. Chan had been the one to suggest that, saying that Seonghwa would probably be overwhelmed if he was forced to leave his dorm and was shoved in a completely new place, surrounded by three littles who already knew each other. Hongjoong had agreed quickly. Apparently Seonghwa was really shy as a little, and still getting used to his headspace, so it was better not to overwhelm him. And just like that everything had been arranged, and they were now on their way to the boys’ dorm.

“Channie?” Called Woojin. “We’re here.”

Chan blinked, noticing they had arrived.

“Channie hyung, hurry!”

Complained Changbin, bouncing on his seat.

“Huwy! Huwy!”

Copied Hyunjin. Chan snorted.

“Hey, be silent for a moment, you two. Do you remember what we talked about?”

Changbin and Hyunjin nodded.

“We should be polite and nice.”

Said the older. Chan nodded.

“Need ta make Hwa ‘yungie feel com’table.”

Chan nodded again.

“We should play well together, all of us.”

Said Changbin. Chan smiled.

“Very good. Now I’ll help you get out, and you will wait with me quietly. No jumping, running or screaming, or else it’s right back home with you. Understood?”

Both boys nodded.

“Good. Let’s go.”

Chan exited the car, taking Jisung with him and making sure the boy’s mask was over his mouth to cover his pacifier. The boy had woken up feeling quite big, around four, but as the time to leave approached he had slowly dropped lower and lower, and was currently almost non-verbal. Probably because this was a completely new situation and he was nervous. Changbin and Hyunjin, on the other hand… he helped them out of the car, making sure Jisung and Hyunjin's diapers were covered by their shirts. There was no one around at the moment, but Chan would rather not risk anything.

Thankfully, Hyunjin and Changbin stayed quiet as they went up to the door and rang the bell. And then a boy opened the door and both littles were screeching out an enthusiastic ‘hello’, making Chan, Woojin, Jisung and the boy cringe.

“Yah, you two!”

Exclaimed Chan. The boy laughed and Chan looked at him, recognizing Hongjoong.

“Hello to you too, boys. Hello, Chan-ssi. Woojin-ssi. And that’s Jisungie, right?”

Jisung shyly hid behind Chan, making Hongjoong laugh fondly.

“Hello, Hongjoong-ssi. You can just call us hyung, no need to be so formal.”

Said Woojin, bowing slightly. Hongjoong smiled.

“Ok, hyung.”

Changbin whined.

“Joongie hyungie, where’s Hwa?”

Chan snorted.

“Yah, Binnie. You just met him, and you’re already this comfortable?”

Changbin only giggled, making Chan roll his eyes. Hongjoong smiled.

“Hwa is inside, Binnie. But you guys need to be quiet as you enter the house, because Hwa is very shy and could get scared if you’re too loud, ok?”

Changbin tilted his head.

“Is he little like Sungie?”

He asked. Hongjoong tilted his head at Chan.

“Sungie is around two, right now. Well, closer to one, but he can still talk.”

He could see the soft smile spreading on Hongjoong’s face.

“No, Binnie, Hwa is older. But he gets startled easily. Can you be quiet?”

Changbin nodded eagerly.

“I can!”

Hongjoong turned to Hyunjin.

“Jinnie?” Hyunjin also nodded. Hongjoong smiled. “Ok, then let’s go.”

Chan immediately melted as he spotted Seonghwa. The boy was sitting on the couch with another boy, and he was hugging a Ryan plushie and wearing a bunny-ear headband. He also had a pacifier in his mouth, and he seemed pretty entertained by whatever it was the boy by his side was showing him. Hongjoong cleared his throat.

“Hwa?” He called. Seonghwa immediately looked up, then his eyes found Chan, Woojin, Changbin, Hyunjin and Jisung, and his cheek reddened. He whined, hiding behind the boy by his side, whom Chan recognized as San. “Hey, what’s that, baby? You were so excited about them visiting!”

Said Hongjoong. Seonghwa peeked from behind the boy, pouting.

“Scary.”

He complained, and Chan positively melted. Hongjoong smiled and walked over.

“Come here, hyungie will hold your hand, ok?” Seonghwa glanced at the five of them, then sighed and got up from the couch, leaving his pacifier behind but keeping his plush toy. “Look, Hwa, this one is Channie hyung.”

He said. Seonghwa shyly bowed, hands over his tummy like a proper kid learning to bow. Chan smiled.

“Hello, Hwa. Nice to meet you. Your bunny ears are really pretty.”

Seonghwa blushed.

“Thank you, hyungie.”

He mumbled. Hongjoong was biting on his lip, clearly holding back a laugh. He pointed at Woojin.

“That’s Woojin hyung.”

He said. Seonghwa seemed a bit more confident as he bowed this time.

“Nice to meet you, Woojin hyungie.”

Woojin smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Hwa.”

Hongjoong moved to Changbin.

“That’s Binnie.”

He introduced. Changbin smiled widely.

“Hi. How old are you?”

He asked. Seonghwa seemed a bit taken aback, glancing at Hongjoong before answering.

“Uhn, five.”

He said. Changbin smiled widely.

“I’m five, too!”

He said. This made Seonghwa smile slightly.

“That’s Hyunjinnie.”

Said Hongjoong. Hyunjin smiled widely.

“Hewo, Hwa ‘yungie! I’m thwee and a ha’f! I wove yo’ bunny ea’s!”

Said the boy, enthusiastically. Hongjoong chuckled. Seonghwa smiled, blushing.

“Thank you.”

He said shyly. And lastly Hongjoong pointed at Jisung, who was hugging Chan tightly and half hiding behind him.

“And that’s Jisungie, Hwa. He’s very shy and very little, so be careful with him, ok?”

Seonghwa tilted his head, then smiled at Jisung, opening his arms. Chan was ready to comfort the boy and explain that Jisung was very shy around new people, but to his surprise Jisung let go of him, stumbling towards the boy. Chan could hear a collective coo as Seonghwa hugged the boy carefully and Jisung half melted against the older.

“Wow, Hwa! I’ve never seen Jisungie be so close to new people. He must really like you.”

Said Chan. Seonghwa’s smile widened immensely at that. He glanced at Jisung and kissed the boy’s head, giggling. Jisung giggled too.

“Wa ‘yun’ie!”

He said, happily. Seonghwa’s smile was incredibly proud.

It didn’t take long for the boy’s to settle. As soon as they were all introduced they made their way to the living room, and then the crayons were brought out and the mess began. Chan could only laugh as he saw Hongjoong and San’s faces.

“You’re not used to having more than one little, hum?”

He said. Hongjoong smiled.

“Is it obvious, hyung?”

Chan chuckled.

“You look a bit scared.”

Changbin chose that moment to screech as he pulled a crayon out of Hyunjin’s hand. Woojin quickly solved that by taking the crayon away from both of them and sending the boys a stern look. Seonghwa seemed to be having fun watching that scene unfold, little giggles leaving his mouth. Hongjoong gestured towards them. Chan laughed.

“That’s what happens when you have a brat. He’s easy to control, though. He’s also very good at cleaning up, so don’t worry about that.”

Hongjoong laughed.

“I’m not. I’m glad they’re having fun, and Seonghwa is even participating.”

He said.

Seonghwa was sitting with Hyunjin and Changbin. He wasn’t actively playing with the boys, instead helping Jisung draw, but he was clearly paying attention to them, and all four seemed to be having fun.

“He seems pretty content with Jisung.”

Commented Chan. It was true. The two boys were playing together, and at one point Jisung had started to play with Seonghwa’s bunny ears, and Seonghwa had promptly taken them off and put them on the younger’s head, making Jisung giggle and give him a kiss on the cheek. It was adorable to watch.

San chuckled at the statement.

“Hwa likes cute stuff when he’s in headspace. He probably thinks Jisung is cute.”

Chan raised an eyebrow and looked at the pair. Jisung drew a line and giggled, and Seonghwa giggled too, squeezing the boy in a hug. Chan laughed.

“Makes sense.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a pull on Chan’s shirt. The boy looked to his side, spotting Hyunjin, and he noticed the boy’s cheeks were slightly red.

“’yungie, can Jinnie show Hwa his dwess? Hwa ‘yungie say he like pwetty stuff.”

Asked the boy, shyly. Chan smiled. Hyunjin had asked to wear a dress for the play date, but had given up on the idea at the last moment, because he still wasn’t that comfortable with wearing dresses and skirts in front of other people. The fact that he was asking for it showed how well the boys were getting along.

“Sure, Jinnie.” He said, ruffling the boy’s hair and turning to Hongjoong. “Where can I go to help him change?”

He asked. Hongjoong pointed to a door at the end of the hallway next to them.

“The bathroom is over there, and you can also use my room if you prefer, the second door on the left.”

Chan smiled and nodded, grabbing Hyunjin’s hand.

“We’ll be right back. Come on, Jinnie.”

He said, leading the excited boy down the hallway.

Once they were inside Hongjoong’s room, which was more spacious than the bathroom, Hyunjin tried to undress himself, getting stuck halfway through before asking for Chan’s help. The older laughed, pulling the boy’s sweatpants all the way down and off.

“So, do you like Hwa hyungie, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin’s face immediately lit up.

“Yes! ‘yungie, Hwa ‘yungie is weally nice! And, and ‘yungie p’ay with Sungie! And with us!”

Chan chuckled helping the boy step into his pink dress overalls.

“That’s nice, Jinnie. I’m glad you are having fun.”

Hyunjin hummed, smiling widely. Once he was done being dressed Chan barely had time to hold the boy’s hand before he was being pulled out of the room. Only to almost fall as he practically ran into Hyunjin as the boy stopped at the end of the corridor. The boy glanced at him, a worried look on his face. Chan gently caressed his hair.

“Jinnie, Hwa is going to love you dress.”

He said, knowing exactly why Hyunjin was hesitating. The boy hummed.

“Pwomise?”

He asked. Chan nodded, smiling.

“Yes, baby, I promise.”

Hyunjin nodded, clearly trying to encourage himself, and then walked into the room.

Chan smiled as the boy was greeted with an excited yell from Changbin and a giggle from Seonghwa. He looked at the boys. Seonghwa was smiling widely.

“Jinnie looks really pretty.”

Said the boy, shyly. Hyunjin’s smiled rivalled the sun at the moment.

“Pwetty?”

He asked. Seonghwa nodded eagerly.

“Really pretty! I’m gonna draw you, Jinnie!”

He said. Chan had to hold back a laugh as Hyunjin squealed and promptly posed for the other boy, and he could see Hongjoong do that same.

“Jinnie, no, you gotta pose like this!”

Came Changbin’s demanding voice, making Chan snort. Of course the boy wouldn’t miss an opportunity to boss Hyunjin around.

“These two are the funniest things I’ve ever seen, hyung.”

Said Hongjoong as Chan approached him, meaning Hyunjin and Changbin. The older snorted.

“The two pests. Seonghwa seems to be more like Jisungie.”

Hongjoong nodded.

“Definitely. Maybe that’s why he still hasn’t let go of him.”

Chan noted that the boy was indeed still holding Jisung, and then noticed the youngest little hadn’t even complained about Chan leaving the room.

“Wah, Jisungie must have really liked Hwa. Usually I can’t be out of his sight, or else he starts bawling his eyes out.”

Hongjoong looked at him, seeming surprised.

“For real?”

Chan nodded.

“I have to take him everywhere with me, or else he gets really scared. I think I’m going to leave Changbin and Hyunjin and take Seonghwa, sorry, Hongjoong.”

The younger snorted.

“Those two are great, but no, thanks. I don’t think I would be able to control them.”

Chang laughed.

“You probably wouldn’t.” The two of them laughed. “Wait until it’s lunch time.”

Chan thought Hongjoong was right to shudder at the thought.

Chapter Text

By the time they decided they should start preparing lunch, the living room was a mess. Expected, with four littles together. There were crayons everywhere, as well as building blocks, plushies and Play-Doh cans. There had also been a stressful moment somewhere along the morning, when Hyunjin accidently snapped a crayon in half, and all of them found out that Seonghwa was very sensitive when it came to his toys.

“I should have expected.” Said Hongjoong, who at the moment was under Seonghwa and Jisung, because Jisung had started crying as soon as Seonghwa started crying, and refused to let go of the older. “Hwa is very careful and meticulous with his toys.”

Chan had laughed, thinking back to the way Changbin threw all of his stuff inside his box once he was done playing, not even caring how they landed in there.

“That’s good, his toys will last longer. I don’t think we have a single non-broken crayon at our dorm.”

It had been easy to solve that, though. Once he calmed down, Seonghwa immediately apologized, and Hyunjin did too, without even being asked, which made Chan the slightest bit proud.

And then came the time to make lunch. Woojin took Hyunjin for a change after a request from the boy, and San had taken Changbin to the kitchen with him to help. A bad idea, if you asked Chan, but the boy insisted. I was only when Woojin walked past them with Hyunjin to go into the kitchen as well that Chan noticed he hadn’t checked Jisung once during the morning and internally face-palmed. He approached the boy, who was helping Seonghwa put his crayons back in place.

“Sungie, can you come here for a second?”

He called. Jisung turned to him and gave the older his signature gummy smile.

“Appa!”

He called, crawling to Chan. The leader heard Hongjoong make a noise, something between choking and cooing, and he laughed.

“Hey, baby. Are you having fun?”

He asked once Jisung was settled on his lap. The little nodded.

“Fun! Wa ‘yun’ie fun!”

He said. Chan smiled.

“That’s good, baby. And tell me, do you need a change?”

He asked. Jisung tilted his head, seeming to think, then nodded.

“Appa, tange?”

He requested, as if it had been his idea. Chan laughed.

“Of course, baby. Come on.”

He stood up, helping Jisung stand too. Just to be greeted with a smiling Seonghwa.

“Hyungie, can I help?”

Asked the boy. Hongjoong snorted.

“Hwa, baby, I’m not sure Sungie will like this.”

He said. Chan opened his mouth to agree, because Jisung was usually very shy about this type of thing. Of course, he should have known he was wrong, because Jisung immediately pouted.

“Wa ‘yun’ie tome!”

He said, making grabby hands at the older. Seonghwa’s face lit up. Hongjoong looked at Chan, who shrugged.

“If Sungie is ok with it, then I guess you can come, Hwa.” The boy’s smile grew impossibly bigger. A crash was heard in the kitchen, then Hyunjin crying. Chan and Hongjoong looked at each other. “And I think Hongjoong should help in the kitchen, right, boys?”

Hongjoong’s slightly desperate expression was the last thing Chan saw as he took the two littles into the bedroom.

Seonghwa was, surprisingly, actually helpful. He distracted Jisung with plushies while Chan changed the boy, and even helped Chan redress him. The older of the three smiled as the boy brushed Jisung’s hair with his finger, putting the bunny ears back on the younger’s head.

“Thank you, Hwa, you helped a lot.” He praised. The boy beamed. “Are you having fun, too?”

He asked, trying to get to know the boy – he had a feeling they would be meeting a lot – and stalling so that he wouldn’t have to face the mess that surely was the kitchen at this point. Seonghwa hummed.

“Binnie and Jinnie are fun.” He said, then pinched Jisung’s cheek, making the boy giggle. “And Sungie is cute.”

He said. Chan smiled. The boy was definitely on the shier side.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your day. Are you excited to play more in the afternoon?”

Seonghwa’s smile grew a bit.

“Wanna show ‘em all my headbands.”

He said, drawing out the ‘a’ in ‘all’. Chan smiled. He could only imagine the mess that that would be. He also mentally prepared to stop Changbin and Hyunjin from fighting over headbands, because those two just loved to bicker.

“That’s nice, Hwa, do you have a lot of them?”

He asked. Seonghwa’s nod was eager, and Chan noticed the boy was slowly coming out of his shell.

“Have a bunny one, and then a kitty one, and a puppy one, and, and a frog, too! And I have, I have a tiger one and a bear one too. And a princess crown!” Then his eyes lit up and he gasped. “Do you think Jinnie will like the princess one? It would look pretty with his dress!”

Chan couldn’t help the fond laugh that left his lips. Hongjoong had told him that Seonghwa was very sweet and considerate, but he hadn’t know to what extent.

“I think Jinnie will love it, Hwa. It’s going to be really nice.”

He said.

“Chan!”

Woojin’s call startled all three of them, and Chan sighed.

“I think we need to go see the mess they made on the kitchen.”

He said. Seonghwa giggled. Chan smiled and got up, snorting and picking Jisung up as he noticed the boy wasn’t in the mood to move. Then he gestured toward the door.

“Let’s go?”

The kitchen was, indeed, a mess, but Chan admitted it could be worse. The crash had been from a bowl that fell from Hyunjin’s hands, but it was a plastic bowl, thankfully, and it hadn’t broken, just startled the boy. Plus, the littles were pretty clean, still. Chan could also admit the boys had done a great job with the actual cooking. There were many options of food, including egg rolls, chicken cut up into bite-sized pieces, rice, a bowl of veggies, Japchae – Chan could already see Jisung’s eyes shining –, and even a portion of mandu.

“You guys really prepared a feast, hum.”

He said as he sat down with Jisung on his lap. San smiled.

“We didn’t know what they liked, so we prepared a few options.

“Well…” Chan started, gesturing towards Jisung who had managed to get a handful of noodles without anyone noticing and was shoving them into his mouth. “At least this one will be pretty satisfied.”

Everyone around the table laughed.

Thankfully, there was no fight about who would sit where. Jisung was feeling little enough to sit happily on Chan’s lap – although even when he was older he didn’t mind that – so Changbin could sit between Chan and Woojin and Hyunjin could sit on Woojin’s other side. Then the boy had insisted on sitting next to Hongjoong, because apparently they had bonded while Chan was away. It worked out well, because Seonghwa decided he wanted to sit next to Jisung, and didn’t mind sitting away from Hongjoong if San was next to him.

The whole thing could have been a lot messier, but luckily Seonghwa was well behaved, which allowed the caregivers to focus more on not letting Changbin influence Hyunjin into destroying the table.

They ate listening to the littles talk about what they had done and their plans for the afternoon, and Chan even allowed Seonghwa to feed Jisung for a while, before reminding the boy that he had to eat, too, if he wanted to play later.

That had taken a little bit of work, and then Chan understood why Hongjoong and San had been worried about the food. Seonghwa was picky with his food. And it wasn’t just a little bit, like Hyunjin sometimes was. He was as picky as Chan’s little brother had been at age four, refusing to eat at all until Hongjoong finally decided it was enough and fed the boy himself, after threatening him with corner time.

It was endearing to watch, in a way. Seonghwa, like Changbin, had an older headspace. Except it was easier to notice Changbin’s headspace, because the boy was loud and a brat, so his little behaviours showed a lot. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was so well behaved that it was sometimes easy to forget that he was little. It was only at moments like this that his little side really showed, and it was cute.

Besides, Changbin had a constant headspace. If he regressed to five, he was five. If he regressed to three, he was three. Chan wasn’t so sure about Seonghwa. The boy was five at the moment, and – as Chan mentioned – he clearly had an older headspace But at the same time… some of his behaviours just didn’t match the age.

Chan only noticed he was spacing out when Jisung let out a tiny ‘appa, ouchie’, and Chan noticed he had hit the boy’s nose with his spoon.

“Sorry, Sungie.”

He said, smiling apologetically. The boy just giggled and opened his mouth. Chan would ask Hongjoong about Seonghwa later.

As promised, as soon as they were done with lunch Seonghwa rushed to his room to get his headbands. Changbin and Hyunjin were quick to join him as soon as the boy settled the box on the floor, pulling Jisung along with them, and in a few seconds there were headbands and other accessories scattered all over the floor. Chan watched, amused, before taking a look at Jisung and noticing the boy was practically asleep against Changbin. He chuckled.

“Hey, Joong, is there anywhere for Sungie to sleep?”

He asked. Hongjoong followed his gaze and smiled.

“Sure, you can put him in my bed.”

Chan nodded, getting up and heading to the four boys.

“Hey, guys, I think Sungie needs a nap. May I take him?”

He asked. The other three boys looked at the sleepy youngest and nodded. Changbin helped Chan pick the boy up, and then demanded that Chan let him give Jisung a goodnight kiss, and that’s how Jisung ended up getting a bunch of kisses on his chubby cheeks. It made the boy giggle, and Chan would be lying if he said he wasn’t melting.

“Ok, ok, we’re going now. Go back to your headbands, ok?”

He said, leaving the room before they decided they wanted anything else.

It was easy to put Jisung to bed, considering the boy was practically asleep, already. Chan did have to stay with him for a while, giving the boy his pacifier and Flower, but it didn’t take long for Jisung to be completely out.

When Chan arrived back at the living room he found Hyunjin wearing a princess crown and Changbin wearing a tiger headband, while Seonghwa, in his kitten headband, told them about whatever tragedy had happened in their pretend village. He sat next to Hongjoong and Woojin on the couch. San had been taken hostage and was playing the frog in whatever weird pretend play the boys were doing.

“Hey.”

Greeted Chan. Hongjoong smiled at him.

“Hi, hyung. Did Sungie fall asleep?”

Chan nodded.

“He usually does after eating.”

Hongjoong smiled.

“He’s pretty little, hum?”

Chan nodded again, then gestured towards Seonghwa, who had his pacifier in his mouth for the first time since they had arrived.

“He is, but I’m more curious about Seonghwa.”

Hongjoong frowned.

“About Hwa? Why?”

Chan shrugged.

“He seems to have an older headspace, and he said he’s five, but… I don’t know, some of the things he does aren’t common in older littles. Like the pacifier.”

Understanding downed on Hongjoong’s face.

“Oh, that. Yeah, we had a talk about that, once. Seonghwa said he feels older and has no problem with doing things on his own or any of that, but he still loves having his pacifier, and he likes it when we do things for him. He doesn’t have that typical ‘I can do it by myself’ behaviour, like Changbin.”

Chan nodded. It was true, Changbin was all about doing things on his own, while Seonghwa seemed to love having people do things for him.

“I never met a little like that.” Chan said, then chuckled. “Well, I only know one other little, actually, so.”

Hongjoong laughed as well.

“I don’t think it’s very common.” He bit on his lip, then continued speaking. “My theory is that sometimes Hwa just wants to drop younger, but doesn’t allow himself to. He was the one who told us about his age regression, but he’s still very shy about us seeing him in headspace. What you’re seeing today isn’t very common, he’s usually much quieter and more guarded.”

Chan had considered that option in his mind, but hadn’t said anything, scared to overstep his boundaries. But if Hongjoong was bringing it up…

“Have you ever suggested that he try it?”

He asked. Hongjoong sighed.

“I don’t know if I should…”

He said. Chan put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“As someone who fucked up really badly on the process of helping Jisungie be comfortable with being little, my suggestion is that you talk to him. Just present the idea to him, and let him think about it for a while. You could also give him the option to try it on his own before trying it around you guys, or to try it with only one of you.”

Hongjoong seemed to consider the idea, then nodded.

“I think you have a point. I’ll think about it.”

Chan smiled, glad he hadn’t come off too strong, or as if he thought he knew more. That wasn’t it at all, he just had learned a lot from his mistakes, and if he could share what he had learned and help others not make the same mistakes…

“Mama!”

Hyunjin’s scream almost deafened Chan, and startled Hongjoong so much the boy almost fell from the couch. Woojin didn’t even flinch as Hyunjin threw himself at him, tears running down his cheeks.

“Baby, shh, I can’t understand you with your face buried in my chest.”

Said the boy, calmly. Hongjoong turned wide eyes to Chan. The leader couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

“Yes, this is normal.”

Hongjoong seemed to be questioning his whole existence.

Chapter Text

The plushie incident – apparently Changbin had thrown a plushie to Seonghwa in an attempt to save it from the burning hot lava, but the plushie had hit Hyunjin instead – was quickly solved, and the three boys were soon back to playing as if nothing had happened. Woojin offered to take San’s place, too, and the boy seemed ready to kiss Woojin as he sat down on the couch, panting.

“I never knew… playing pretend… could be so wild.”

Said the boy in between pants. Hongjoong and Chan laughed.

“Welcome to our life.”

Said the oldest. San took a deep breath and put a hand on Chan’s knee.

“I have so much respect for you, hyung.”

Chan laughed.

“They aren’t always this wild.” He admitted. “I think they’re just excited to have someone new to play with. Besides, they’re usually very careful not to make too much noise so that Sungie won’t get startled, so that helps a lot.”

San nodded, then gestured towards Seonghwa.

“Hwa was just asking about him.” He said. “I think he really fell for Sungie.”

Chan smiled.

“I can say the same for Jisung. I was telling Joong that Sungie usually cries his heart out if I ever leave his sight.”

San smiled.

“Well, glad to know he found someone else to cling to, today.”

Chan smiled and nodded.

They stayed in comfortable silence for quite some time, after that, on their phones and talking occasionally as they watched Woojin handling the littles. Chan had to admit: the boy was very good at it. He had even managed to get them quiet enough to sit through story time. To be honest, even Chan was entertained, and he barely noticed time passing until he caught a glimpse of his watch and his eyes widened.

“Shit, it’s almost three. I should go wake Sungie up.”

Hongjoong looked at his own phone.

“Oh. The others must be arriving soon.” He said, then smiled. “They’ll get to know the boys.”

Chan smiled at the thought of the rest of the group, all of them used to quiet precious Seonghwa, getting to know Changbin in one of his wildest moods.

“That’s going to be something.” He got up. “I’ll be right back.”

Jisung was still sleeping curled up with Flower when Chan entered the room. The older sat down, running a hand through the boy’s hair.

“Sungie. Time to wake up, baby boy.”

Jisung opened his eyes slowly, blinking and yawning before rubbing his eye with his fist.

“Appa.”

He called, raising his arms. Chan smiled and leaned down to hug the boy, pressing a kiss to his warm cheek.

“Did you have a nice nap?”

He asked. Jisung nodded.

“F’ower ‘tay wif Sun’ie.”

He said, still quite sleepy. Chan heard the living room door opening and a mess of noise, and he figured the others had arrived.

“Of course, Flower wouldn’t leave Sungie alone.” Jisung smiled at the statement, and Chan pulled his covers back. “Come on, let hyungie check if you need a change.”

He said, hearing the other boys outside.

Jisung was still quite sleepy, so changing him was easy, although he did refuse to put his sweatpants back on, asking for shorts, instead. Chan snorted, pinching the boy’s cheek.

“You’re lucky I brought shorts as well, little devil.”

He said. Jisung pouted.

“Sun’ie no devil. Sun’ie angel.”

Chan couldn’t help but to laugh.

“You’re right, Sungie, you’re appa’s angel. Now put those little leggies on the holes, come on.”

Jisung obeyed with a giggle, and soon Chan was leaving the room carrying the boy.

There were a lot of new people in the living room. Chan raised an eyebrow as he noticed Changbin had already taken one of them hostage – Yunho, if Chan remembered correctly. As he entered the room, all of the boys turned to look at him. He smiled at them.

“Hey there. We’ve invaded your dorm.”

He said. The closest to him, a short boy whom Chan was sure he had seen splitting apples with his bare hands before, smiled warmly.

“Hello, hyung. I’m Jongho.”

He said, bowing. Chan smiled back.

“Hi. I can’t bow right now, sorry.”

He apologized, noticing that bowing was probably not the best choice with Jisung still in his arms.

The others introduced themselves as well, even Yunho from his place on the floor, where he was playing with Changbin’s Pokémon cards with the boy.

“Well, you know who I am, and this is Jisungie. Sungie, say hi.” He requested. Jisung had tightened his hold on Chan as soon as he noticed there were new people in the room, and was currently trying to hide. He shook his head. Chan huffed. “He’s a bit shy.”

He explained. Wooyoung, whom Chan had already met before, smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, hyung. We’re used to shy littles, aren’t we, Hwa?”

Seonghwa stuck his tongue out at him, before moving closer to Chan and poking Jisung.

“Sungie. Do you want to cuddle with hyungie?”

He asked softly. Jisung hesitantly looked up from his hiding place and glanced at Seonghwa, then at Chan. Then he loosened his grip, and Chan put him down, watching amusedly as the boy let himself be pulled to the couch.

“I swear Seonghwa is some kind of god.”

He said as Jisung settled on the other little’s lap, cuddling against Seonghwa and giggling as the boy said something in his ear. A tall boy – Mingi? – was looking at the pair in awe.

“I’ve also never seen Hwa acting like this.” He said, then looked at Chan. “I had never seen such a young little either, hyung. What is it like?”

He asked. Chan shrugged.

“It’s normal, he just needs more help with basic things, like eating and showering, and he moves a lot less than the other two.”

Mingi nodded.

“Hyungie you can’t do that!”

The scream came from Changbin, interrupting his conversation with Mingi, and Chan was ready to do damage control, when he noticed Changbin was laughing. He looked at Yunho and snorted. The boy had literally sat on top of all their Pokemon cards, promptly finishing a game he had probably been losing. Chan chuckled.

“Yunho seems to be good with them.”

He said. San snorted.

“He’s great at playing, leaves all the hard work to us.”

He said, but there was no bite to it, only fondness.

Chan and the rest didn’t stay much longer. Hyunjin took Jongho hostage and they played as prince and princess for quite some time, and Changbin had skipped up to Wooyoung as soon as he spotted the boy, asking him to play. Seonghwa and Jisung had played with Seonghwa’s headbands, since Jisung hadn’t gotten to play with them earlier, and they decided Hongjoong should be their headband model.

Overall, they had a fun afternoon. Chan could see, as he finally managed to get Changbin and Hyunjin under control to get them ready to leave, that the boys from Ateez were pretty tired, but there was a twinkle in their eyes.

“Sungie, you have to say bye to Hwa now.”

Called Chan, as Woojin finished lecturing the other two littles about behaving outside. Jisung was sitting between Seonghwa’s legs on the floor, quietly playing with his stuffed fox as Seonghwa combed his hair. Surprisingly, it was Seonghwa who complained first. He turned to Chan with big puppy dog eyes and a pout.

“Hyungie, can Sungie stay? Pretty please?”

Chan knew he wasn’t the only one melting at the request. He smiled sadly.

“Oh, Hwa, we really have to go.” He said. Seonghwa looked down, seeming extremely sad. “But if your hyungs let us we’ll come back as soon as we can! And you can’t visit us too, would you like to know our dorm?”

This made Seonghwa light up. He turned to Hongjoong.

“Hyungie, we can visit them?”

He asked, almost bouncing with place with excitement. Hongjoong laughed.

“Of course, Hwa.”

Seonghwa squealed. It made Jisung look up at him, eyes wide. Seonghwa gave the younger a bright smile.

“Sungie, Hwa will visit you!”

He said. Jisung smiled as wide as the older.

“’wa ‘yun’ie visit?”

He asked. Seonghwa nodded eagerly. Jisung giggled and clapped, then hugged the older. Chan clenched his hands, trying to control the urge to squish the life out of those two.

“But for that you need to be home, Sungie, so let’s go, yeah?”

Jisung looked at him, then raised his arms. Chan snorted. Of course.

He let Seonghwa give Jisung one last kiss to the cheek, and then they headed out. Hongjoong opened the door for them.

“Today was really nice, hyung, I hope we can do this again.”

He said, a bright smile on his face. Chan smiled at him.

“I hope we can, too. Whenever you want you can give us a call and we’ll schedule another play date. I think you might need to soon, cause Hwa is still pouting about Sungie.”

Hongjoong looked back into the living room, noticing San comforting an upset Seonghwa. He laughed.

“This kid, I swear… Well, we’ll meet again soon, then hyung. Tell us when you get home, yeah?”

Chan nodded.

“Will do.”

And he headed out to join the others in the van.

As soon as the van started moving Changbin and Hyunjin started talking. Chan had no idea where they got so much energy from.

“And hyung! Wooyoungie hyung is really funny, and Yunho hyung was so nice!”

Said Changbin, excited. Hyunjin piped up.

“Jongie hyung is cute.”

He said, giggling and hiding his face, and Chan wondered how much Hyunjin would hate him if he told Jongho that little Hyunjin had developed a crush on him.

“So I’m assuming you guys had fun, hum?”

Both boys agreed by yelling in unison. Chan laughed. Woojin seemed ready to jump out of the van. Chan turned to Jisung, who was leaning against him, quietly sucking on his thumb. Chan immediately pulled the finger out, exchanging it for his pacifier.

“What about you, Jiji. Did you have fun?” Jisung hummed. Chan frowned. “What is it, baby?”

He asked, Jisung pouted, eyes watering. Chan panicked for a second.

“’wa ‘yun’ie.”

He said, clearly too tired to fully express what he meant, but Chan didn’t need him to.

“Oh, baby. We will see Hwa again soon, ok?” Jisung sniffled. “How about we do it like this. Today you can cuddle with appa all night long, and then tomorrow we’ll call Hwa so you can talk. Is that ok?”

Jisung looked at him and sniffled again, but nodded, then buried his face on Chan’s chest.

“Sun’ie miss appa.”

He said. Chan hugged him tightly.

“Appa is right here, baby. Right here.”

Chapter Text

Chan was surprised when he woke up to find out Jisung was in headspace. The boy had definitely spent over a day in headspace before, but that was usually after very long and stressful schedules, or when they finished promoting an album and Jisung was drained and needed to recharge, for example. Right at the moment, they were at a very slow part of their job, and Jisung had time to regress whenever he wanted (mostly). Under those circumstances, he usually regressed more often and for shorter periods of time. Sometimes even just a few hours was enough. So Chan wasn't expecting to see the boy in headspace the day after their playdate, since he had been regressed for most of the previous day and had even slipped out of headspace on his own shortly after they got home the night before.

But there Jisung was, sitting by Chan's bed playing distractedly with his Play-Doh without a care in the world. Chan sat up. "Sungie?"

Jisung immediately looked up and smiled brightly as he spotted Chan. "Appa!"

Chan couldn't help but to smile. No matter how surprised he was, he loved spending time with little Jisung, and the boy was absolutely adorable.

"Hey, baby," Jisung rushed to the bed, climbing next to Chan and snuggling against him, "have you been playing for long?"

Jisung shook his head. "Jus' wa'ed up," he said. "Tuddle?"

Chan laughed, kissing the boy's forehead. "We can cuddle later, angel, but how about we go have some breakfast first?"

Jisung's eyes shone. "Pantates?"

Chan hummed, getting up and offering a hand. Jisung was definitely in an older headspace, because he accepted the hand and followed Chan out of the room, instead of insisting on being carried. He did cling to the older like a koala, which made it hard for Chan to walk properly, but he had practice with that.

They got to the kitchen and Chan was glad to see Jeongin was already up. Making any kind of meal with Jisung clinging to him was always a challenge, but Chan could tell Jisung's independence from the day before had stayed back at Ateez's dorm with Seonghwa, so he doubted the boy would stay alone in his chair as Chan prepared something. But if Jeongin was there...

"Morning, Innie," greeted Chan.

The maknae eyed him curiously, eyes focusing on the clingy little who was practically strangling Chan at the moment. "Morning. He's in headspace?"

Jisung answered that himself, smiling widely and Jeongin. "Innie 'yun'ie!"

Jeongin smiled and Chan's heart melted. He loved the relationship between Jeongin and little Jisung. Jeongin had been Jisung's first caregiver, and even if now Chan was his main caregiver, he knew Jeongin still had a very special place on Jisung's heart.

"Morning, Jiji. Where's my hug?"

Jisung looked at Chan, and yup, he was right. Jisung was back to clinging to him all the time and looking at him for reassurance. He nodded towards Jeongin. Jisung squealed and rushed to the other boy, giving him a hug that was maybe a little bit too tight, if Jeongin's slightly pained 'oof' was anything to go by.

"Can you watch him while I make breakfast, Innie?" Jeongin gave him a nod, while simultaneously trying to get Jisung to at least loosen his hold. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

Jisung insisted on sitting on Chan's lap, and then refused to eat unless Jeongin was next to him. Once he deemed their placement proper, he opened his mouth. Chan laughed. "You remind me of a baby bird waiting for food, angel."

Jisung tilted his head, then giggled and made what was probably be supposed to be a baby bird sound. It was adorable. He opened his mouth again, and Chan proceeded to feed him, enjoying the way Jisung happily hummed as he chewed.

They finished eating before any of the others were up, and Jeongin offered to wash the dishes, and considering Jisung was now completely wrapped around Chan, the older accepted the offer.

"Now tuddle?" asked Jisung.

Chan nodded, running a hand through the boy's hair. "Living room?" he asked. Jisung shook his head. "Room?"

The boy nodded, and Chan tried to put him down to get up, but this time Jisung whined, clinging harder. Chan should have known his freedom would be short-lived.

He carried Jisung to his room, and once they were both settled on the bed he handed the boy his pacifier. He chose the squirrel one, simply because he was the only one within reach at the moment, and then him and Jisung snuggled up under the blankets, Flower between them.

Now, it wasn't unusual for Jisung to want to cuddle with Chan. Big Jisung was cuddly, and little Jisung was 10 time cuddlier, so they were all used to it. But usually when he was in headspace he played a bit before retreating for cuddle time, or he requested they cuddle to watch a movie. It wasn't often that they spent time together just cuddling in bed, so Chan knew there was something going on. He might not have suspected under different circumstances, but he was still confused as to why the boy had slipped into headspace having spent the whole previous day regressed, already.

He kissed Jisung's head and ran a hand through his hair, knowing Jisung loved that, and then started talking. "Are you ok, angel?"

Jisung was silent, which was a sign Chan was right; there was something going on. Luckily, little Jisung was quick to open up. He shuffled on the bed, turning to face Chan, and even behind the pacifier the older could see the boy pouting.

"Sun'ie miss appa." mumbled Jisung. Chan frowned.

"Appa is right here, Sungie," he said.

Jisung's pout deepened. "'ste'day," he said, "Sun'ie miss appa."

Chan hummed. The day before, when they left the Ateez's dorm, Jisung had told him he missed Chan. Probably because he was used to spending his time in headspace with Chan, and the day before they had barely done anything together. It had happened before, on the rare times Jisung was in an older headspace and Chan could leave him alone with another caregiver. When that happened, Jisung usually became way clingier to Chan when he slipped the next time. But he had never slipped again because of that, so Chan knew there was more.

"Well, we can cuddle all day long, today. Appa will stay with you for as long as you want."

Jisung smiled widely at that, rubbing his nose against Chan's neck like a little kitten.

"Sun'ie love appa," he said, and Chan melted yet again.

"Love you too, baby boy. Now what else is bothering my precious angel, hm?" he asked. Jisung looked at him with wide eyes.

For a moment, they were silent, the only noise being Jisung sucking on his pacifier and the distant sound of Jeongin putting away the dishes. Then Jisung grimaced. "Wawa 'yun'ie."

Oh, that made sense. Jisung and Seonghwa had bonded the day before and spent a lot of time together, and Jisung had been very upset when they left, saying he wanted to stay with Seonghwa. Chan sighed in relief. At least there was a reasonable explanation as to why… his eyes widened.

"Oh, angel, no, don't cry." Jisung sniffled, tears rolling down his cheeks. He buried his face on Chan's chest, the pacifier hurting the older a bit. Chan ignored it, rubbing Jisung's back. "Baby boy, we will see Hwa again, promise."

Jisung sobbed and mumbled something incoherent, probably because whatever he was feeling was far too complex for his little self to put into words.

"Baby, hey, look. How about we call Hwa? Then you can talk to him for a bit, and we can even arrange another playdate," Jisung looked up at that, "sounds good?"

Sniffling, Jisung nodded. Chan smiled and sat up, helping the boy do the same. Jisung brought his knees close to his chest, hugging them with Flower still in his hands.

After texting Hongjoong, explaining the situation to him, Chan searched for one of the story books he had downloaded for Jisung and gestured for the younger to sit between his legs. Jisung obeyed. "Appa is just waiting for Joongie to answer so we can call Hwahwa, ok?" Jisung nodded, leaning against Chan's chest. "Do you want to talk to Hwahwa even if he's isn't little like you right now, Sungie?"

Jisung seemed to consider that, copying Chan's thinking face as he usually did, then nodded. Chan chuckled. He wondered if there would be any talking going on considering Jisung seemed to be slipping younger by the minute. Chan started reading after kissing the top of Jisung's head.

They read the story for only a few minutes before Chan's phone buzzed. Jisung perked up, looking at Chan with hopeful eyes. Chan smiled, picking up his phone. Hongjoong had replied to his message with a 'of course you can call, hyung!' and four different cute emojis. Chan chuckled at the cuteness. He sent a message saying he would, then, and pressed the video call button.

Hongjoong picked after the first ring. He was alone and looked like he had just woken up, but he was smiling.

"Morning, hyung. Morning, Jisungie."

Jisung waved shyly and hid against Chan's chest. Chan smiled. "Morning. Did I wake you up?"

Hongjoong shook his head. Hwa woke me up requesting food.

Both he and Chan chuckled. "He's in headspace, then?"

Hongjoong nodded. "Has been since yesterday. You said Jisungie was upset about leaving, well, you should have seen the tantrum Seonghwa threw when you left."

Chan snorted, because the idea of quiet and helpful Seonghwa throwing a tantrum was difficult to see. "For real?" Hongjoong nodded. "Poor baby."

Hongjoong chuckled. "We managed to calm him down, eventually, and explain to him that Jisungie had to go home and that we would definitely meet again. Right, Sungie?"

Chan looked at the boy resting on his chest and smiled as Jisung quickly hid on his chest yet again. "Baby, you won't be able to talk to Hwahwa if you're hiding like that."

Jisung whined and Chan translated it as 'I'll look up when hyungie is here'.

"Hwa was really excited when I told him you would call. San is helping him change, but he… oh, yup, there he is."

Chan laughed openly as Seonghwa plopped next to Hongjoong, stuffed Toothless in hand, pacifier in his mouth and a huge smile on his face.

"Hello there, Hwa," greeted Chan, "I love your plushie."

Seonghwa smiled shyly and hugged his toy tighter.

"Morning, hyungie. Morning, Sungie."

Jisung immediately looked up from his hiding place and smiled, waving at the camera.

"'wa 'yun'ie." He said, happily. Seonghwa was positively beaming on the other side.

"Sungie, made you a card!" Said the other boy. Chan raised an eyebrow at Hongjoong. The older mouthed a 'how do you think we stopped his tantrum?', and Chan had to hold back from laughing.

"Fo' Sun'ie?"

Seonghwa hummed, and picked up a piece of paper from his onesie's pocket. He then showed it to the camera, with Hongjoong's help, and Chan could see a colorful drawing that… actually didn't make much sense. It was still cute, though, and there was a 'From Hwa To Sungie' at the bottom, very neatly written considering it was probably Seonghwa who wrote it.

"Look, Sungie! He made it for you!" Jisung was smiling so brightly it almost hurt. "Can you say thank you?"

Instead, Jisung made an attempt to hug the camera, which had Chan, Hongjoong and Seonghwa laughing. "Love 'wa 'yun'ie!"

Chan pulled the boy back from the phone, readjusting it so they could see the screen. Seonghwa was smiling and Hongjoong looked on the brink of dying of cuteness overload. Chan could relate.

"Hwa loves Sungie, too!" Said the boy, and Chan tried to remember if he had ever heard Seonghwa speaking about himself in third person. He didn't think so. Hongjoong's surprised face confirmed his suspicions.

They let the two boys talk a while longer, although it was mostly Seonghwa talking and Jisung giggling and repeating occasional stuff, and then Hongjoong told Seonghwa it was time to help San make the beds. The little didn't seem too excited about that, but he obeyed, saying his goodbye to Jisung much more camly than he had the day before.

Jisung, too, didn't seem as upset as Seonghwa left. Chan suspected it was because now he knew he could see the boy again when he wanted to. Not that that worked with Chan, but the older knew it was because he, particularly, triggered Jisung's separation anxiety when the boy was in headspace.

Chan and Hongjoong talked for a while longer, discussing maybe trying a playdate at Stray Kids' dorm someday in the future. Both groups would have time in about two weeks, so they agreed on that and then finished the call. Chan put his phone away and looked at Jisung. The boy was watching him and smiled sweetly as they made eye contact.

"Appa."

Chan smiled. "Ready to cuddle all day long?" Jisung hugged him tightly.