Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Taeyong would always leave stick notes around the house and Yuta was pretty much used to it by now. “Don’t forget to buy dish washer” above the sink; "Made your lunch” in the fridge; “Please give me back my coat” on his bedroom door; “Shopping List” anywhere random in the kitchen. Sometimes there would be some “Good luck on your exam!” stuck to his backpack or a “Have fun on your date!” in his desk.

They have been flatmates for two years now ― that’s how they met ― and it was quite easy to get along, They just clicked from day one. Yuta loved Taeyong’s cooking and Taeyong loved Yuta’s sense of humour.

During their first year of university, their schedules were so not in sink that Taeyong developed the habit of leaving sticky notes with messages to Yuta, whenever he needed to tell him something important ― but it soon grew into the not-so-important things too and, eventually, there were sticky notes everywhere and just about everything.

Yuta didn’t mind at all ― he knew that was Taeyong’s way of showing he cared; he even gave the older a branded, five coloured pack of new sticky notes for Christmas (they were broke students, the smallest things were the greatest gifts). Funny thing was: Yuta would just text Taeyong whenever he needed to say or reply to something. The sticky-notes method was one-way only. But none of them cared about that detail. It was their own system and it worked just fine, Yuta would wake up everyday with a note somewhere in his room (he’d always sleep with an open door and it was quite easy for Taeyong to just walk in, stick the paper somewhere, and then leave). Today, it said “Fighting! Please don’t sleep on your class! Left you coffee in the kitchen.”

Yuta smiled, took the yellow piece of paper and saved it inside his notebook ― the one he kept only for the sticky notes. Taeyong probably thought Yuta put them in the trash ― but nope. Yuta loved them and kept them all: even the angry “Just fucking take out the trash” ones. Yuta was one hell of a messy person (bless TY for always keeping the house clean), but that notebook was the most organized thing he ever owned in his life: each note was neatly stuck side by side, four per page, front and back, all perfectly aligned and clean, He didn’t know exactly how many there were in there, but the notebook was already on his half.

He dragged himself to the kitchen, finding the jar of coffee still warm. Taeyong hadn’t left long ago, Like always, Yuta mixed the black coffee with the milk and lots of sugar ― and found another note, a pink one, on the fridge door, saying “Out of yogurt buy more”. He chuckled and searched for the shopping list, added “Yoghurt” and then left the kitchen with one pink note in one hand and his latte in the other.

He dressed up, grabbed a slice of yogurt cake from the counter (no wonder they were out of yogurt, but Yuta was not complaining for having made-in-TY-cake instead) and went to classes. While on the bus, he texted Taeyong:

“Thnks 4 the coffee. Cake still gr8!”

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Taeyong was on the couch when Yuta arrived. He dropped his bag by the couch and Taeyong made some room for him to sit, but raising an eyebrow to the backpack. Yuta pretended not to notice; he would put it in the room later.

― How was your day? ― asked Yuta.

― It was OK. ― replied Yuta ― Nothing really happened. And yours? Did you deliver your paper?

Taeyong put his legs on top of Yuta’s and sighed deeply. Yuta started massaging his ankles and waited patiently.

― Unfortunately, but finally. One small step for me but one huge step for my mental health. I guess. ― he grunted ― I wish I was dead. I am dead.

― You look dead. ― Yuta chuckled and Taeyong slapped his shoulder, but smiled that smile that always made Yuta’s days a little bit better. ― I’m hungry.

― Dinner’s in the oven. By the way, did you finish the salami?

― Nope. What’s dinner?

― I think we have a food thief, then…

― Yeah, Win-fucking-Win.

They both laughed and then proceeded to watch TV until the oven’s timer went on and they both ran to the kitchen to eat Taeyong’s signature lasagna.

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― Honey, I’m home! ― Yelled Taeyong, closing the door behind him. It was Friday and Yuta always got home earlier on Fridays.

― Hi, home, I’m Yuta! ― Yuta yelled back, peeking from the kitchen door ― Who’s honey?

Taeyong rolled his eyes, chuckling.

― You’re such a dad! ― he complained.

― I am the ultimate dad.

Yuta went back to the kitchen and Taeyong followed him, afraid of whatever his friend was doing there. Didn’t even bother going to his room first to drop his backpack, But everything was fine: Yuta was just making a sandwich. Taeyong sighed in relief.

― Dude, chill. I am not setting the house of fire with a sandwich. ― Yuta knew all of Taeyong’s fears indeed ― Most of the time. ― he added.

Taeyong didn’t answer, but, relieved, went to his room and put some comfortable clothes before coming back. Yuta was already at the couch watching Family Guy and munching his sandwich.


―Jeez, Yuta, that show sucks. What the fuck?

― It’s my guilty please, please leave. ― Yuta defended himself ― So, how was your day? Mine was fine, thanks for asking.

Taeyong sat on the couch before answering, going to his usual position: legs on top of Yuta’s.

― That guy came to me again. ― he said.

― Seriously? ― Yuta snapped his head to look at Taeyong, surprised ― What’s his bloody problem, mate?

Taeyong shrugged.

― Don’t blame him. ― he said, with a smirk ― I mean, look at me.

― So fucking full of yourself. ― Yuta rolled his eyes ― What did he want?

Yuta wanted to ignore the cold feeling in his stomach. That was the third time that guy annoyed Taeyong by asking him out despite being rejected every time. It seemed to bother Yuta more than Taeyong itself and Yuta always tried his best not to show it. He wasn’t even sure to why it bothered him so much in the first place, so he just convinced himself that it was because his friend was being harassed.

― A date, again. ― Taeyong sighed ― Told him no, again.

― You should tell him to just fuck off. ― Yuta said ― Want me to have a chit-chat with him? Sure he won’t bother you again.

Taeyong shook his head and gave him a soft smile.

― No, thanks. I can handle this.

― If you say so. ― Yuta turned back to the TV and pretended like it was all fine. But he was not fine himself, so he changed the subject. ― Want pizza?

― Why do you even ask?

The next morning, Yuta found a “Thank you for being the best friend ever!” note on his door. He put it in his notebook and smiled like and idiot for the rest of the day. Yuta and Taeyong were nor best friends ― both had their own ― but they would not bother with labels when it came to their friendship. Or, at least, that’s what Yuta told himself when he would stop and think about their relationship.

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“Made you lunch, I’ll be at Johnny’s the whole day. Wash the dishes!”

Yuta kept the note with a bit of disappointment. He was planning on ask Taeyong to watch Game of Thrones season 8 premiere with him on that Sunday. He looked at the clock: 11:35h. Too soon to have lunch, too late to have breakfast ― so he just grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and laid on the couch watching random TV shows until it was time to have lunch. While eating ― Taeyong made the most delicious japchae Yuta had ever had ― he checked his social media. There were 236 messages on the school group chat, so he just turned the wi-fi back off.

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Sicheng ― or Winwin ― was being a prick again, stealing food and leaving his shoes in the middle of the living room. Taeyong was scolding him for the fifth time on that month, while Yuta ate popcorn in the back (literally, because they had been watching a movie). Johnny was trying not to laugh and Jaehyun wasn’t even trying at all.

― But hyung! ― Winwin whined ― Your food is so good!

― This is not about the food, kid! ― Taeyong yelled ― It’s about those damned shoes! Leave them where they belong!

Winwin whined a bit more, but made what he was told to. Taeyong turned to Yuta.

― And you! ― pointed at him ― Don’t eat all the popcorn, you selfish brat! ― he took the bucket of popcorn from Yuta’s hands ― I’m not making you dinner tomorrow.

― But hyung!

Now it was Yuta who was whining and Sicheng who was laughing.

Taeyong did made Yuta’s lunch anyway and Yuta texted him with a lot of emoji hearts and flowers. Then he kept the note he had left on the fridge, like always.

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― How was your day? ― asked Yuta, when Taeyong put his legs over his. The latter let out a sigh.

― It was fine. The presentation went well and I had lunch with Johnny. Also got an A at Ethics, so… yeah.

― Hmm. ― Yuta massaged Taeyong’s ankles, softly ― I am very glad. Congrats!

― Oh. ― Taeyong remembered something ― Actually, there was something weird. That guy… he passed me today and sent me the most freaking hideous look, but didn’t say a word to me. It was so weird!

― Well, I guess he got the message. Isn’t that good?

― Fucking great.

― Awesome. ― Yuta smiled and then Taeyong went on about his presentation that morning. Yuta felt relieved that his little chit-chat worked.

He thought that Taeyong would never know about his intervention, but woke up to a “Thank you so much” note the next day.

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Yuta didn’t want to kiss Taeyong, but he really felt like doing it, which was so weird that he kind of froze. Taeyong had his head on his legs and Weekly Idol was on TV, and he was just being so pretty, with his messy hair and sleepy eyes, that Yuta just had a moment of pure devotion and oh shit, he’s so perfect I want to kiss him. And his gaze must have been so intense that Taeyong looked up and frowned.

― You ok, mate? ― he asked.

Yuta woke up from his moment and shook his head.

― Yeah, sorry. ― he looked back at the TV and pretended like it was nothing, cheeks hot. But he could still feel Taeyong’s worried gaze on him. The next day, he woke up to a “Have an awesome day like yourself” note on his desk.

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Chapter Text

Two: Don’t forget to love your friend

There was no note that day and Yuta got really worried. Was Taeyong mad about something or did he just not have the time that morning? But Taeyong always had the time! He would always scribble something, even in his worst handwriting, even if just a smiley face. Always. So that really put Yuta into a worried mess. What would be so big and important that made Taeyong not leave him a note that day?

He wandered around the house, checking everything. The note saying to not forget to clean the balcony was still there since 3 days ago, and the one reminding him to take the vitamins everyday (Yuta had been sick last week) too. But no new notes, nowhere. Well, that was really weird.

Something clicked in Yuta’s head and he hurried into Taeyong’s room. The door was half closed, which was how Taeyong always left it when he went to sleep. Yuta knocked, but got no answer. Slowly, and without a sound, he pushed the door and stepped inside the room. It was dark, but the little rays of sunshine that peeked through the blinds were just enough to distinguish a vault wrapped in the blankets In Taeyong’s bed. Yuta let out a sigh of relief before slowly and silently back out. Taeyong had just slept over “ nothing bad.

From Taeyong’s pack of sticky-notes, that he always had lying around the kitchen for easy access, Yuta took one.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. Have a nice day!”, he wrote, and stuck it to Taeyong’s door.



When Yuta got back from his meeting with Ten, Taeyong was in the kitchen, baking. He was so focused on this task, humming and mixing and being all gorgeous, he didn’t notice Yuta’s arrival until he cleared his throat. Taeyong had a smile on his lips and Yuta felt overwhelmed by that.

“ Why are you so happy? “ the latter asked, taking a cookie from the pile in the table. It was still warm and smelled really nice. Also tasted great.

Taeyong’s smile shrined, but kept there. He shrugged.

“Slept more than 4h for the first time in two weeks. Of course I’m in a good mood. “

“ Hyung, you really should stop making these late-night study sessions. “ Yuta said, worried “ That’s not good for you.”

Taeyong ignored him and turned his back again, his attention going back to the mix he was baking.

“ So, where did you go, if I may ask? “ asked.

“ Went with Ten to that new coffee shop downtown. “ Yuta answered, taking another cookie “ Damn, these are so good. “

“ Thanks, glad you like. “ Taeyong turned just to smile and then got back to baking “ Woke up inspired.”

“ You’re always inspired.”

“ No. I am just always willing to cook, mostly because or your lazy ass and because I don’t want us both to starve. “

“ Same thing to me. “

Yuta couldn’t see it, but he knew Taeyong just rolled his eyes.

“ Man, I slept like a baby. “ Taeyong said a moment later “ And then I woke up and… “ he cleared his throat “ Wanted cookies. So I am making cookies. “

“ Glad you are. “ Yuta was already on his 4th cookie and had no intentions to stop “ Could eat these forever. “

“ Save some for Johnny and Winwin “ Taeyong warned “ And Jaehyun.”

“ Yes, mom. “ Except he knew he wouldn’t.

“ I’m warning you, Nakamoto Yuta.”

“ Winwin is going to steal them either way!”

“ Ok, right. “ sighed “ Then just save some for Johnny and Jaehyun. “

Yuta chuckled, but one look from Taeyong was enough for him to actually take it seriously. He grabbed another cookie.

“ By the way “ Taeyong put a new tray of cookies in the oven and sat beside Yuta at the table “ Guess who texted me? “

Yuta felt his stomach sink. So that was why he was so happy.

“ Hmm.”

“ Never thought he would, though. “ Taeyong clearly didn’t notice the change of mood on Yuta “ It has been, like, a week or so? Hey, what do you think about him? You know him better than me.”

Yuta cursed the day he took Taeil to their place for a group project and he met Taeyong. Apparently, the guy crushed Taeyong the moment he saw him and, before leaving, asked for his number. That was a few days ago and Yuta had almost forgotten about it.

Taeil was a good guy, really. He was the best partner anyone could ask for in a group project, he was organized and hard-working and a really nice and smart person. Yuta should feel relieved that this time Taeyong had found a rather decent human being (unlike last time, when he dated an asshole for six months and it was a bloody mess). But Yuta just couldn’t feel it “ he just couldn’t feel happy about it. He should and he wanted to, but he couldn’t.
“ Taeil hyung is a good person. “ he answered finally. Taeyong seemed to expect more, but Yuta didn’t say anything else.

“ Hmm. “ the older held his chin on his hand. “Either way, don’t want to party too soon, am I right? Just because he texted me it doesn’t mean anything.”

Taeyong went back to his task of cleaning everything up in the kitchen and Yuta sighed. He felt guilty for being so not-supportive of Taeyong and Taeil, but not guilty enough to actually give some visible or spoken support.

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Shit hit the fan and smashed itself on Yuta’s face in a cold, foggy autumn afternoon. He had skipped classes that day to stay and sleep, since he just had a two-night no-sleep marathon to finish some work. He woke up just in time for lunch and Taeyong’s pasta left in the fridge (“Hey sleepy baby, lunch’s in the blue box”) “ but that was not it. Of course not. It was the other note he found in the middle of his Grammar book while he tried to (actually) organize his desk (it was such a bloody mess). The pink, flower shaped sticky note, written in Taeyong’s neat and clean handwriting, said:

“You are amazing and I love you. Please never give up! You got this, mate. Fighting!!!”

It was Taeyong’s handwriting and one of Taeyong’s sticky notes and those were clearly his words. Taeyong knew Grammar was Yuta’s Achilles’s Heel, and also knew that Yuta had been studying and working like crazy in the past few days, and that was just one more of his sweet, cheering notes. And it was not like that was the first time that Taeyong said those words to him, every single one of had already been said a few times “ even “I Love You”. But this time it just…

Yuta’s heart stopped beating for a whole second and he stopped breathing and his brain just shut down for a moment and felt so overwhelmed.

“Sh-shit. “ he muttered. Why did he feel so fucking happy, ecstatic even, because of that? Why was that “I love you” echoing so loud in his head and making him flutter?

The feeling was so weird and new and intense that he even checked his forehead for temperature - sickness was the only logical reason. He was not hot, but he felt hot, so he went to bed and covered himself with the blankets and tried to sleep.

He could not sleep.

So he tried to rationalize, because that’s what Jaehyun would do if he were him. He thought about that feeling and he thought about the butterflies in his stomach every time he was around Taeyong; and he thought about Taeyong’s smile and Taeyong’s lips and Taeyong everything and everywhere. He thought he was going crazy and losing his mind.

The last thought that crossed his mind - and that one scared the shit out of him - was the most absurd and radical and unbelievable: he thought he was in love with Taeyong.

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Damn, Taeyong’s hair was so soft and Yuta wanted to bury his whole face in it, breathe its smell and feel his softness and just live in there. And then he caught himself staring frozen at Taeyong again, for the billionth time. He was so whipped for Taeyong he felt ridiculous and even disgusting. But how could he not? Taeyong was just so… so…so Taeyong. The bastard didn’t even look real.

Yuta heard a cough and looked up, finding Johnny staring at him with a grin. Taeyong was completely oblivious to the exchange of gazes happening right above him, too focused on watching One Piece on TV. Yuta felt himself blushing and gave a deadly stare no Johnny before looking away from him, just wanting do bury himself down on a really deep really dark hole.

“ Hey. “ Taeyong’s soft voice made him look down again, just to find those big expressive eyes staring at him with curiosity. Only then Yuta realized he had stopped patting Taeyong’s hair, so he started moving his fingers again. “ You Ok?”
“ Sure. “ Yuta replied and Taeyong’s face softened, looking away and into the TV. Only then Yuta allowed himself to slowly and very silently let go his breath.

Later that night, when Johnny was gone and Taeyong and Yuta were left doing the dishes, the latter decided to ask what had been stuck on his throat for the past few days.

“ So… how’s things with Taeil hyung?”

Taeyong didn’t react in any particular way to the question, except a shrug.

“ After the last date he never texted me again. “ he said, simply, with zero emotion on his voice. Just a statement.

“ Do you like him? “ Yuta insisted. He didn’t want to intrude, but he needed to know. Taeyong let out a chuckle, which surprised Yuta.

“ Jesus, Yuta, are you really that dumb? “ he asked, turning to Yuta. Yuta would laugh, but Taeyong looked so serious he wondered what had he said to make him mad. He was about to apologize for being noisy, but Taeyong just splashed water on his face and laughed. “ You should’ve seen you face! Waa, so serious! “

Yuta groaned, relieved. And learnt that some matters are better untouched.

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“I’ll be late tonight, don’t wait for dinner”.

Yuta pouted. Was he even supposed to eat for dinner if Taeyong wasn’t going to be there? He didn’t even left anything on the fridge!

“ Damn you, Lee Taeyong. “ he cursed, closing back the fridge. The he had an idea. Grabbing the phone from this back pocket, he called Johnny. “ Hyuung.

“ No. “ replied the older. No ‘hello Yuta’, no ‘hi there’. Just ‘no’. A cold, dry, heartless ‘no’.

“ I didn’t even ask.”

“ The answer is no.”

“ But I-“

“ No.”

Yuta hang off. Great, no plans after all. So he just grabbed a bowl of cereal and went to the living room and watched cartoons until he fell asleep.

Woke up later when Taeyong arrived. Yuta looked at the clock “ 03h in the morning “ and felt Taeyong sit by his side in the dark.

“ Why are you still up? “ the older asked. He smelled like cigarettes and perfume, and it was nice, but at the time it was not.

“ I wasn’t, you woke me up.“ Yuta scrubbed his own face with a yawn “ Fell asleep on the couch.”

“ Were you waiting for me? “ Taeyong’s hand laid on his thigh and for a moment Yuta lost his breath.

“ What? No. “ he lied “ I was watching Spongebob.

“ Spongebob? Really?”

Yuta didn’t answer. He grabbed his empty bowl and got up, leaving a giggling Taeyong behind.

“ What did you even eat? Hope it wasn’t noodles. “ Taeyong followed him into the kitchen.

“ It was not noodles.”

But the proud smile on Taeyong’s didn’t last more than two seconds, which was the time he took to notice the box of cereal on the table. Disappointment took over his whole beautiful face.

“ Disappointed but not surprised. “ he sighed “ You would die without me, wouldn’t you?”

“ Sure would. “

Taeyong laughed, because he was not expecting Yuta to agree. That was not the first time they hat that argument and every single time Yuta had thrown a tantrum over his right to eat cereal for dinner.

“ Yeah, I know. “ whispered the older, and then he back hugged Yuta.

Yuta froze in the middle of washing his dishes, eyes widening double their size and jaw dropping open. What the…? Shit, Taeyong’s hug was so good and he couldn’t even move. So they just stood there in silence, Taeyong’s arms around Yuta’s waist and Yuta just freaking motionless.

“ I love you so much, Yuta. “ said Taeyong in his aegyo voice and Yuta dropped his fucking spoon on the counter with a big and loud thump. Water was still running and somehow he managed to gather the courage to actually move and close it down. He was about to turn around and reciprocate Taeyong’s hug when he spoke again. “ Fuck Johnny, you are my new best friend. “

Yuta should not be surprise or hurt or anything for that matter, but he couldn’t avoid it. Every time Taeyong said something endearing his hopes would rise so high he would hit the moon, only to fall back down so fast and so strong every single time.

So he just sighed, picked himself up and managed to answer:

“ You too, Tae.”

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Chapter Text

Three: Don’t forget your friend’s birthday

Yuta was on the verge of throwing his god damn book to the ground and give up. He was not understanding a single word of what he was reading. He knew it was Korean, but he had no idea what it was saying: it looked like some alien language. What was he even thinking about when he picked that book to read for that class’s paper? God damn him.

He closed the book and looked at the plain, blank page he had open on his laptop. That sure was not productive at all, so he closed it and started packing his things. He would ask for Taeyong’s help later with the book, but for now, he would just go back to the printer and try to do something productive.

His keys were already on his hand when he phone beeped. There was a message from Taeyong:

“Hey you busy? Need you to come meet me at Starbucks.”

Well, Starbucks was on the way to the library, so Yuta replied saying he would be there in ten. Taeyong didn’t text back, but that was not a surprise at all “ Taeyong hated writing on his phone. Or calling, even.

Yuta spotted him immediately when he arrived to the coffee shop. Taeyong just had this unique aura and Yuta always knew where to find them. That moment, he was at a table by the window, distracted with his phone (not writing; reading) with a cup of what looked like a milkshake in front of him. He only notice Yuta when he pulled a chair to sit in front of him.

“ Hey “ he smiled, putting down the phone.

“ Hey. “ Yuta replied, his heart skipping a beat with that smile “ So, what do you need?”

Taeyong cleared his throat and looked away.

“ Your company…?”

Yuta giggled.

“ I can help with that, sure. “ then, remembering his struggle earlier, he reached his backpack and took out that cursed book “ By the way, need your help with something. “ Taeyong stretched his hand and Yuta gave him the book. “ I seriously don’t understand what is going on there.”

Taeyong flipped some pages and his eyes moved through them quickly. He was biting his lower lip and Yuta couldn’t look away.

“ Well, this is very technical. “ said Taeyong after a while “ Do you really need to read this? “

“ I already gave the title to the professor. “ Yuta pouted “ But I guess it’s better if I talk to him and try to change…? “

“ Do that. “ Taeyong returned the book to Yuta, who put it back to this backpack “ Anything else? “

“ Yes. “ he pointed to Taeyong’s milkshake “ What flavour is that?”

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“Have a great day and don’t forget to eat well! Your lunch is in the fridge”

Yuta sighed. Why was Taeyong such an amazing person? That made everything so much worst. No wonder he had fallen in love with him. Who wouldn’t? He texted his friend, thanking for the food, and quickly put the note on his notebook. Soon he would be out of space and probably need do buy a new one.
Yuta had been living with that love for months now. It was starting to feel a little bit overwhelming and he knew that soon he would reach a point where everything would just fall apart. He didn’t know what he would do when that happened and just prayed that it didn’t.

To get everything a little bit worse, Taeyong’s birthday was just around the corner. What the hell was he going to do? Last year he had given him a League of Legends t-shirt, and the year before that, a Star Wars mug. Taeyong was kind of a nerd, but Yuta couldn’t really mock him for it, being himself a so-called otaku. At least none of them were actually virgin.

Yuta had one month to take care of Taeyong’s birthday present “ just enough time to panic. If he was to order something online, there was the chance that the package wasn’t coming on time, so he had to choose wisely and quickly. That being said, he had around a week to find something and, well… he cursed himself for not thinking about it earlier.

He could just search around EBay or the local gaming store; or just go to that printer and get a new customized printed shirt, or a printed something. Problem is: he felt like giving something with more meaning into it. And a printed whatever was not it. After all, as Taeyong himself had said, they were pretty much best friends. And there was that tiny little factor called ‘Yuta-was-in-love-with-Taeyong’ that made things worst.

He had to think, and he had to think fast, and he had to think smart.

He ended up scrolling EBay either way, as a starting point. Then he tried BuzzFeed (why not? They have some nice articles about gifts). He even tried some magazines. It went from “what to give to your friend” kind of articles to “gift ideas for your boyfriend” kind of articles and even to “valentine’s day ideas” type of articles. Nothing suited and he was getting stressed.

Until he had an idea.

A rather cheesy one, he knew it. But he was damn right sure Taeyong would like it, for Taeyong was the cheesy-kind of person. So Yuta bought that One Piece notebook he saw on Ebay, and a brand new set of colourful sticky notes, and put himself to work. The notebook would take around two weeks to arrive, so Yuta would have only two weeks after that to finish his masterpiece - so long the finals wouldn’t ruin his plans. He thought of putting all the notes on the notebook from start, but that didn’t seem like fun. So he settled a game. And he started working since day one.

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“ Is this Japanese? “ questioned Taeyong, grabbing the note from the fridge. “ Oh no, it’s just your terrible handwriting.”

“ My handwriting is actually good, excuse me. “ Yuta crossed his arms, suddenly annoyed. He was expecting some cheering, not criticism, after what he had put up to create that game and make sure Taeyong understood it.

“ I know. “ Taeyong smile apologetically, the turning to the note and reading it out loud “ “You are the best hyung”? Taeil-hyung would love to know.”

Yuta cursed in Japanese and Taeyong laughed, proceeding to stick the yellow note on the notebook Yuta had given him. He had to roll a few pages to find the one where that particular note belonged, since there was a number sequence he was supposed to match. Then, carrying his notebook near his own body, he started searching for the next one. It was almost like one of these card books, but so much cooler.

“ The kitchen is done. “ said Yuta, and so Taeyong went to the living room. He searched under the pillows and inside the lamp, until eventually found two sticking notes behind the TV and under the table.

“”You are so handsome it offends me” and “Your food is my favorite food”. “ Taeyong laughs, bowing and hugging himself, and Yuta pouts. Taeyong wipes away his own tears and looks up at Yuta with bright eyes “ Ah Yuta, you are too cool to be true. “

“ I know, thank you. “ Yuta theatrically swipes his own shoulder.

Taeyong takes a lot more time than predicted to find all the notes, even with Yuta shouting “Hot” and “Cold” from time to time to help him out. In the end, there are too many notes to even count and half the notebook is full. Taeyong has shinny eyes and Yuta is proud of himself.

“ The rest of the notebook is to be filled in the future. “ says Yuta in the end “ I intend to reciprocate your notes from now on. “ Taeyong opens his mouth to say something, but Yuta suddenly stands up and runs to his room, leaving a very dumbfounded Taeyong in the living room. When his friend returns, he has his own notebook and slides it across the table in Taeyong’s direction. “ I’ve kept them all. “

Taeyong takes a moment to actually understand, before carefully opening the green notebook. He is greeted with Yuta’s handwriting in big bold letters: “Taeyong’s Notes”. Then, slowly, while going through the pages and reading his own words and his own notes, his eyes are sparkling and his lips are trembling and suddenly he lets out a hiccup. Yuta doesn’t even know what hit him when Taeyong’s suddenly stands up and pulls him in a warm and strong hug.

Taeyong smells so nice and is so warm and cosy, and Yuta is just oh so happy that Taeyong is happy. He can feel the older crying on his shoulder and his arms squeeze him hard. But it is so nice and Yuta is so delighted.

“ Bro, I love you. Thank you so much, this is the best gift ever. “ Taeyong cries, his face buried in Yuta’s shoulder and his hand gripping on Yuta’s shirt “ I can’t even thank you enough. I’m so sorry I am being too emotional. “

Yuta chuckles, bracing him just as strong.

“ I’m really glad you liked it.”

“ I didn’t like it. I love it. “ Taeyong chuckles, and his voice is so filled with emotion that Yuta’s heart is about to explode. He wants to kiss Taeyong so much. “ Damn it, I love you. “

For a moment, Yuta wonders if he had said it out loud. Then he realized that no, it wasn’t him. Then, it just hit him. But no, Taeyong didn’t really… Nah. Was he going crazy? He should have not have passed on that road that morning, the fume of the smokers was starting to get to his head.

“ Yuta. I love you. I really, really love you. “

Shit. Taeyong did really say it. He said it twice! Thrice! And he was waiting for an answer while Yuta was freezing. Well, actually, Yuta was about to have a heart attack or something like that, because he just couldn’t breathe and he was about to faint for sure.

“ Yuta?”

Taeyong tried to break the hug, apart but Yuta just squeezed him tighter. He was not ready to face him yet. He needed to think. What If Taeyong meant it in a bromance way? A ‘no homo’ kind of ‘I love you’? What if Yuta was just projecting his hopes? What if…

“ Yuta, I can’t breathe.”

Yuta released Taeyong immediately, completely panicked. He expected Taeyong to be mad or something like that, or maybe with an impatient look, but the elder just… stood there, looking for Yuta with those sparkly wet eyes and biting his own lip. That’s when Yuta knew.

“ Damn, it, Taeyong. “ Yuta let out all the air he was holding in and reached his hand to Taeyong’s face, touching lightly his cheek and feeling his soft, wet skin. Carefully, he wiped the tears with his thumb and stared into those huge, bright and dark eyes. And they stayed like that for so long that Taeyong had to speak again.

“ Yuta, please. I just fucking confessed to you. Do you mind saying something? Even if just a ‘fuck off you gay twat’?”

Yuta burst out laughing and pulled Taeyong for another hug, squeezing him so hard the other let out s shriek.

“ I love you. “ he finally said, too happy to function “ I love you, Lee Taeyong, you gay twat. “

Taeyong laughed and slapped his back, complaining because, once again, he couldn’t breathe. But Yuta would not let go “ not now that his heart was racing so fast and his mind was so light and this moment was so beautiful. He even managed to lift Taeyong’s feet from the ground, which was quite an accomplishment considering they were pretty much the same height. When Yuta finally set Taeyong free, the latter let out a sigh and Yuta grinned.

Their eyes locked and their smiles connected, and they just stood there for a moment, only staring at each other and breathing happiness. Taeyong made the first move to steal a kiss from Yuta “ leaning forward, slowly but confidently, stopping only when his lips were only inches away from Yuta’s. Their breaths intertwined and Yuta finally took the last step and took Taeyong’s lips in his and suddenly all they could see was stars.

It was but a short kiss, little more than a peck, when Taeyong retrieved back, biting his lower lip with a funny grin. Yuta let out a disappointed sigh.

“ Are you serious? “ he asked with an annoyed tone. Taeyong answered with a giggle and a second kiss, and this time Yuta pulled him closer by his hips and would not let him get away again. Taeyong’s arms wrapped around Yuta’s neck and then they became a mess of lips, tongue, teeth and unstable breathing. Their hands were all over the place, messing with their hairs and wrinkling their clothes and exploring their bodies. Nothing sexual “ just lovingly exploring.

Yuta was the one to stop this time, pulling away with a moan and a deep breath. Taeyong smiled wide and pecked him one, two, three times before actually letting him go.

“ So, hmm, should I… you know, ask you to date me of something? “ the younger asked.
“ No. “ Taeyong’s answer came so fast that Yuta almost didn’t have the time to process it. But when he did, his smile died and he took a step back, his hands getting away from Taeyong and his heart just sinking in his chest.

“ Oh. “ he let out, unable to hide his disappointment and heartbrokenness. Just seconds ago he was so happy and now everything was so dark inside him.

“ Oh, shit, no! That’s not what I meant! “ Taeyong jumped back to Yuta’s arms, hugging him strong and desperately “ I just meant, not today. Damn it, I do want to date you. “ he cupped Yuta’s face on his hands and made him look into his eyes “ I really, really, really want to date you. I love you and I would be the happiest person alive to be your boyfriend. Just not today. “

Yuta was relieved and his whole body language was more positive by now. Taeyong kissed him again and then hugged him again, but he could still feel some stiffness.

“ What’s wrong with today? “ the younger asked.

“ It’s just too lame, since it’s my birthday. I don’t want to celebrate our anniversaries on my own birthday.”

Yuta blinked. What? Wait… No, what? Then it hit him. It hit him hard. And his smile grew and next thing he was the one kissing and holding Taeyong on his arms.

“ I totally respect that. “ he said after a while, brushing his fingers through Taeyong’s hair and face “ I shall pick another day to make it all official. Does that sound good?”

“ It sounds great. “

And Yuta did. Two weeks later, just when Taeyong was starting to think that his not-boyfriend was going to give up, Yuta asked him to be his actual-boyfriend during a walk by the river. He even gave Taeyong a bracelet matching one he had himself “ and a pink sticky note, reading “Will you date me for real? [ ] Yes [ ] No”.