Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ready?” The guy holding both his hands asked quietly. But Doyoung could already tell, he was very un-ready.

As soon as the first beat of the song started, Doyoung felt his heart drop. He was the last person who should be caught between two very attractive guys dancing Hyuna’s Roll Deep.

Don’t enjoy this, he thought to himself. Please, that was the last thing he needed right now.

With wide eyes Doyoung watched as the guy in front of him rolled his hips around while he stared at the audience behind them. Their hands still grasped tightly together.

Doyoung could feel the guy that had been standing behind him was doing something similar facing the audience behind them. He had to resist the urge to squeeze his eyes shut in embarrassment.

Softly, the guy holding Doyoung’s hands let them slip apart. Both guys gave a shake to the beat and turned so they were standing on either side of Doyoung. With his hands free, Doyoung clasped them together in front of himself. His cheeks were on fire as he started to feel too hot in his jacket.

The boys on either side were making faces at the crowd as they both turned and placed their hands on Doyoung’s chest. Slowly they let their hands travel down and then pulled away to start dancing.

Doyoung had to admit that they were both super cute. The one that had been standing in front of him was lean and his smile was infectious. His dark brown hair fell into his eyes so he was constantly shaking it out of his way.

As Doyoung looked at him he felt quite self conscious of his own body. Broad shoulders, about the average height. His hair was currently dyed this awful color of orange that had only just begun to fade, and in the front was a strip of bleached hair. Quickly, Doyoung reached up and pushed his hat down to make sure that no one could see his hair.

The other guy dancing was taller and wider. Almost less suited for this type of busking because he looked so masculine.

While the guys were dancing in front of Doyoung, his thoughts flashed back on to how he had wound up in between the two guys in the first place.

He had originally just gone out shopping for Taeil’s birthday but somewhere he had turned down a busking street. Suddenly, he had felt a pull from the crowd and was being dragged into the center of the open circle where some guys had been performing.

The softer one had smiled at him and grasped his hands as the two guys got ready to start.

Doyoung’s mind jolted to the present again as he watched both boys swivel their hips around towards him. One of the boys, the taller one, abruptly dropped into a squat and twerked. There were loud cheers and screams of excitement from the watching crowd.

As the pre-chorus started, both boys went to either side of Doyoung again, leaning one hand and their heads on his shoulders. Their front ankle rolled around and slowly moved up their leg till it moved their hips. Doyoung’s eyes followed their movements and he could feel his wide eyes get even wider.

The taller boy danced in front of Doyoung as the other reached up to whisper into Doyoung’s ear. “Open your legs.”

Blush spreading across his face and down his neck, Doyoung spread his legs a little. The one that had whispered in his ear walked around till he was behind Doyoung.

Doyoung clenched his hands harder together in front of him as he anticipated what he knew was coming next.

Even though he knew it was going to happen it was still a surprise when the guy crawled under him and stayed on his hands and knees in between Doyoung’s legs. Looking down, Doyoung watched the guy whip his dark brown hair around and slowly crawl out from between his legs.

Oh goodness. The blush Doyoung was already feeling spread till he could feel it all over his body. Everywhere. Please let this be over soon, Doyoung thought to himself.

A grin from one of the guys told Doyoung that they could see his embarrassment clearly on his face. Doyoung bit his lips together and glanced upward, willing, no praying, for this to be over. He should have protested more when they pulled him out; they were now starting to go into the second chorus and were getting a little more aggressive. The same one who had grabbed his hands in the beginning reached out for Doyoung’s hands once more and faced the audience. He wove his fingers in between Doyoung’s and placed them on his hips. There he danced while keeping Doyoung’s hands firmly on his hips.

The other guy was busy walking around them, playing into the crowds interests.

Finally as the song came to its close the guy turned around and placed Doyoung’s hands around his waist as he clutched Doyoung and reached one leg up, hooking it around Doyoung’s hip. The other guy was standing at Doyoung’s side, one hand on Doyoung’s shoulder.

They all stayed still for a few moments before they were unattaching themselves from Doyoung and bowing with their hands extended to shake his hand.

Doyoung made sure to take their hands and give a short bow back.

“Thank you. My name is Jungwoo.” The boy who had first talked to him when they started spoke up. His long hair fell into his face and he pulled it back for a moment with his hand. With his hair out of his face, Doyoung could see his eyes clearly. They were round and soft, a kindness reached out from them. “The loud one is Lucas.” He nodded to his friend who had gotten a mic and was talking to the crowd. Very boisterous and loudly. He waved his hands back and forth hyping up the crowd. He told them if they wanted to see more to check out their facebook page.

“I’m Doyoung.” He smiled as he turned his attention back to the cute boy in front of him. He could feel the remnants of his blush refusing to leave him as he glanced around.

“Thanks again for being such a good sport. Most people won’t actually do the second verse part.” Jungwoo let out a soft laugh that only proceeded to add to Doyoung’s blush. Unlike their dancing, Jungwoo’s voice was soft and quiet, as was his laugh.

“I didn’t think I had a choice.” Doyoung laughed back. Looking at Jungwoo he wanted to make a good impression and once more reached up to make sure his hat was firmly in place and hiding his hair. “You guys are really good though.”

“Thanks,” He paused as Lucas called to him to start dancing again. “You should stick around and see us do some real dancing.” He gave Doyoung a wink before walking back to the center of the open space.

He and Lucas started dancing to BTS’ ‘I Need U’. The mood was entirely different from their previous dance. They appeared very masculine and sharp in their movements. Doyoung ended up sticking around to watch them do a couple more dances.

“Alright ladies and gents, it is time for us to end. The sun set long ago and my dear friend Jungwoo has classes in the morning. I’m sure you can all relate!” Lucas spoke loudly to the crowd. There were several boo’s and encores being shouted around by the audience.

Jungwoo grabbed the mic from Lucas. “Did I hear encore?” He waited as there was overbearing approval from the crowd. “I’m willing to do one more song if you are, Lucas.” He turned to Lucas who pretended to think for a moment before agreeing.

They talked a moment amongst themselves before deciding on a song. As Jungwoo went back to the speakers his eyes found Doyoung, who was hiding in the second row of the crowd. A smile came across his face before he looked down and chose the song. As he went to join Lucas to dance he glanced back at Doyoung once more and smiled, giving a small wave. This time they were doing PSY ‘Gangnam Style’; a classic and a good choice.

Doyoung felt himself smile as he watched Lucas and Jungwoo rile up the crowd with their upbeat dancing and expressions. The warm atmosphere was contagious and Doyoung felt himself start to clap along with everyone else.

“Thank youuuu!” Lucas shouted loudly to the crowd as he and Jungwoo grasped hands and gave a long, low bow. “Goodnight!”

The crowd started to disperse as Lucas and Jungwoo started to gather their stuff together. Doyoung had just turned to leave when he heard the soft call of his name.

He looked back to see Jungwoo weaving through the crowd to him.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jungwoo stopped in front of him. “So, what did you think?” His long hair was falling into his face again. A part of Doyoung wanted to sweep that hair out of Jungwoo’s face but he kept his hands firmly at his sides.

“You guys were awesome. Are you trained in dancing at all?” Doyoung asked in amazement.

A soft chuckle escaped Jungwoo, “I’ve taken a couple classes but Lucas hasn’t. I taught him everything he knows.”

When he heard his name, Lucas’ head popped up from where he was rolling cords and packing up supplies. “That’s a lie, he’s lying. He keeps so many secrets.”

“I said I taught you everything you know, not everything I know.” Jungwoo laughed at his friend.

“You’ll have to teach me sometime.” The words were out of Doyoung’s mouth before he realized he had said them.

Jungwoo looked Doyoung up and down before he replied, “I just might.” A grin spread over both of their faces. There was a moment of silence before Jungwoo took one of his hands out of his pocket and ran it through his hair. “Do you maybe want to go get drinks with us?” his voice was hesitant.

Doyoung stared at Jungwoo. He was cute and they already had some chemistry, “Um, yeah sure.” He would need to remember to text Taeyong and let him know he was going to be late. Looking at his watch, it was already late. His promise to Taeyong to be home early was going to be broken.

“Okay, uh, let us pack up and then we can all head for drinks.” Jungwoo smiled and turned back to where Lucas had almost finished putting their stuff away.

Doyoung pulled out his phone and sent a message into their group chat.

Doyoung
Going to be home late.
Don’t wait up.

He headed over to Jungwoo and Lucas to help take the stuff to their car. Once it was all put away Lucas slung his arms around Doyoung and Jungwoo’s shoulders as they headed off.

“Are you guys ready to get some Soju?” He laughed.

Doyoung glanced over at Jungwoo who smiled up at Lucas and nodded.

“Hello!” The owner of the shop spoke as they entered and picked some seats off to the side.

“Three bottles of Soju please!” Jungwoo called to the shop owner. He and Lucas sat next to each other while Doyoung sat across from them. “I hope you are ready. Lucas and I can really hold our liquor.”

Doyoung wouldn’t say that he was excellent at holding his liquor but he wasn’t awful. He went out regularly with his team members and so he had to at least be able to hold his liquor a little. The shop owner came around and dropped off their drinks.

“I, uh, I can keep up.” He glanced up at Jungwoo who was sitting across from him. They exchanged a small smile before Doyoung got embarrassed and looked away.

“Please, tell us more about you, Mr. Doyoung.” Lucas smiled as he started to pour the soju into glasses.

“Well, I’m a singer. I just debuted as part of an idol group called NCT.” He paused to gauge their reactions before he continued on. “I have an older brother who is also an idol. Um-“

“EHH,” Lucas made a buzzer sound. “Boring. Tell us more about you. The real stuff. The nitty gritty.”

His statement took Doyoung off guard for a moment before he could continue on. “Okay, I hate my hair. My favorite color is purple. I want to get a tattoo of an owl on my arm. I really don’t like the feel of cotton rubbing on cotton. Is that the kind of stuff you want to hear?”

“Yeahhh,” Lucas leaned back in his chair. His arm slung on the back of Jungwoo’s chair. “Tell us more.”

Doyoung looked from Lucas to Jungwoo. “First tell me about you.”

“Me?” Jungwoo asked. He picked up his drink and tipped it back before he spoke. “I love the smell of soap. I want to see what your hair looks like under that hat. My least favorite genre of music is screamo.” He smiled and started to fill his glass again.

They all talked and drank for a while as the three of them got to know each other. There was a lot of loud laughter and smiles, as well as side glances between Doyoung and Jungwoo.

A jingle of bells announced the arrival of a couple of girls entering the shop

“Give me a moment guys, I’ll be right back.” Lucas smiled and swallowed the rest of his shot glass. He then disappeared to go talk to the girls.

“Damn, he is so attractive.” Jungwoo sighed under his breath. “It’s a pity he’s straight.”

Doyoung had just taken a sip of his drink when Jungwoo spoke and had to struggle not to spit it all out onto the table. “What?” He choked back.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you have your eye on him?”

It wasn’t Lucas but Jungwoo, that Doyoung had had his eye on. That was a secret that Doyoung had never told anyone. The fact that he liked men was not something he just went around telling people. How had Jungwoo known? “Um, no I-“

“God, you are gay right? I am usually pretty good at reading people, but I do get it wrong sometimes.” Jungwoo’s eyes widened and his hand rose to cover his mouth.

Doyoung found himself nodding. He didn’t know why but he told Jungwoo the truth. Something about him was just so sincere and open. Almost like he was welcoming Doyoung to tell the truth. But almost immediately he regretted it. What was he doing? Was he trying to out himself to a stranger?

“That is I-“ he started.

“Say no more. You are in friendly hands.” Jungwoo gave Doyoung a wink as he took another sip of his drink.

“Friendly hands?” Doyoung cocked his head to the side slightly confused.

“I think you’re cute Doyoung. We should go out sometime. Just the two of us. Call it a date if you will.”

Doyoung felt a blush spread across his face. He couldn’t believe how cute and funny and kind Jungwoo was. But he couldn’t do it. There was too much to worry about right now. He was a rookie idol. Dating was too risky. “I would love to hang out again sometime. As friends.”

“Are you dating someone?” He peeked up at Doyoung from between his bangs.

“No.” Doyoung shook his head and took a drink. Those dang bangs. Long hair never looked as good as it did now. And the urge to pull his fingers through Jungwoo’s hair was only getting stronger.

“Okay, then why won’t you go out with me?” Jungwoo rested on his elbow as he talked, leaning in closer to Doyoung.

Doyoung’s heart was fluttering from alcohol and the sight of Jungwoo. Everything he did was just too cute. “I am not,” he paused, trying to find the right word. “Open about my personal life. And I can’t be. My whole career depends on me not dating. Especially not a guy.” Something about Jungwoo made him want to tell him everything about himself. He had already told him more than he had told anyone else.

Jungwoo raised his glass in a toast to Doyoung. “I understand. Well then, to a new friendship.” Doyoung lifted his glass to clink against Jungwoo’s before they both tipped back their glasses and drank their liquor.

“To a new friendship,” echoed Doyoung. Behind them they could hear Lucas’ loud laughter across the shop.

It was some time before he returned to their table, proudly flaunting a small piece of paper in his hand.

“I think I am a winner tonight.” A mischievous grin spread wide on his face.

Jungwoo looked at him for a moment before he looked over at Doyoung, “This is a competition now. Quick, give me your number.”

Without hesitation Doyoung rattled off the numbers. There was a moment where he doubted if he should have done that but then he rationalized it, thinking that he was just giving his number to a friend. He probably would have done it later anyways so they could stay in contact. But even as he tried to reason it, he knew deep down that this was more than just a exchange of numbers between friends.

While he had been getting lost in this thoughts, Jungwoo and Lucas were arguing if Doyoung’s number even counted.

“Listen you don’t even know if he plays for your team-“

“Actually, he does. So, ha! It totally counts.” Jungwoo childishly stuck his tongue out at Lucas.

A rare moment of silence from Lucas followed that exclamation. He struggled for a moment to find words. “Wow- I- I mean- congrats.” The wide, silly smile was back as he glanced between Doyoung and Jungwoo.

A hot blush was creeping its way back to Doyoung’s face. He hid behind his glass as he waited for it to subside.

“I am the true winner.” Jungwoo mumbled only barely loud enough for Doyoung to hear.

“Alright, well Jungwoo really does have classes in the morning. We should get going.” Lucas shifted in his seat before he stood up and grabbed Jungwoo under the arms to heft him up as well.

Doyoung stood with them and reached out his hand for Jungwoo to shake.

Taking his hand Jungwoo pulled it closer to him making Doyoung lean in. “I’ll call you later.” He gave Doyoung a quick wink before Lucas pulled him away and out the door.

What a night. What a night. He hadn’t gotten Taeil’s birthday present, but at the same time he had gotten much more.

Chapter Text

When Doyoung woke up, he had a massive headache. That’s what he got for drinking without eating anything. Slowly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the events of last night came back to him.

He sat up and grabbed for his phone but there weren’t any new messages.

Without the headache, Doyoung could have almost convinced himself that it had only been a dream. How could such a night have happened?

Doyoung swept his feet out of bed and stood, stretching. Today was filled with activities including practice, vocal lessons, and a comeback show later. He didn’t really have time to be worrying if the cute boy he met last night was going to text him.

The soft padding of his feet against the hard word floor was the only sound in the apartment. It was still pretty early and none of the other members seemed to be out of their rooms yet. Doyoung made his way to the kitchen through squinted eyes. The sun was just rising and sunshine peeked through the living room window.

“You got back so late I didn’t think I’d see you until thirty minutes into practice.”

Doyoung felt all his muscles contract momentarily at the sound of Taeyong’s voice. His eyes darted around to find the source and settled on Taeyong’s form huddled in one of the armchairs, reading something on his phone. Of course he was already up, he always was up before everyone else.

“Jeez, don’t scare me like that.” Placing a hand over his heart, Doyoung tried to get it to slow back down. “It’s way too early for jump scares. Plus, my head is hurting far too much to let me get much more sleep.”

Taeyong didn’t look up from his phone as he spoke, “Did you go out drinking last night? With who?”

“Yeah, I was out. Just with some guys I met.” Doyoung turned and started to make himself some breakfast.

Just as he finished buttering his toast there was three small dings from his pocket. Shoveling the toast into his mouth he reached for his phone.

Unknown Number
Hey
It’s Jungwoo. We met
last night.
I really hope this isn’t
a fake number.

Just as he had gotten his heart to return to its normal pace, these three short messages sent it back into a tizzy. In his surprise he swallowed his half chewed bread, which got stuck in his throat and his body started to try to cough it up.

He could feel Taeyong stand up and come to his side, patting his back to help dislodge the bread.

It was only a moment before Doyoung felt the bread unstick and his breathing become easier again.

“Are you okay man?” Taeyong’s face was etched with concern.

“Yeah fine, I’m just gonna go sit down.” Slipping under Taeyong’s arm, Doyoung hurried to the couch. His phone was clutched to his chest, away from Taeyong’s prying eyes.

Doyoung sat down and read the messages again. He needed to reply. Should he play along or answer him?

Doyoung
Man, that’s a good idea.
I’ll have to try it next time.
Sadly it’s just me here.
Doyoung

Quickly, Doyoung went to his contacts and added Jungwoo. There was a soft ding followed by two more in quick succession.

Cutie J
Oh no not sad!
I’m very glad it’s you!
(;

“Who are you texting, smiling like a girl with her first crush.” Johnny sat down with a huff next to Doyoung and tried to peek at the screen.

“What?” having only tuned in to the last part of what Johnny said, Doyoung could feel himself in a panic. “No,” his phone was turned face down in his lap.

Johnny let out a soft chuckle before his expression changed, “You’re texting a girl aren’t you?” Reaching for Doyoung’s phone they started to wrestle on the couch. “Doyoung is texting a girl!” He shouted to the whole apartment.

Mark came out from his room still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “What? Did I hear that right?”

“Stop. Johnny, please. Stop.” They still struggled over the phone and for a split second Doyoung even considered biting. The thought quickly passed as Johnny accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. “I will end you if you make another move.” His voice came out in a harsh whisper, eyes glaring at Johnny.

He must have seen the fierce anger in Doyoung’s face because it took him a second before he was letting go and getting off the couch. “Chill Doyoung, I was just joking.”

In the back of his head Doyoung knew he had overreacted but a bigger part of his brain knew that he had to keep Jungwoo a secret.

Most of the members were in the kitchen now and Doyoung pocketed his phone to sit by the others at the table. Jaehyun’s eyes were barely open as he leaned his head on his hand and waited for everyone to get ready.

“Okay Doyoung, Jaehyun, Mark, and Taeil, hurry up we have to get to practice soon. Ten is already at the studio waiting. So eat up and let’s get going.” Taeyong was already slipping his jacket over his shoulders. “Yuta! Please don’t leave your crumbs on the counter!”

Over on the other side of the kitchen, Yuta stopped red-handed, a mouth full of toast and crumbs all over the place. A soft chuckle escaped Doyoung as he laughed at Taeyong’s micro managing.

“When I said hurry up, I meant grab the toast as it comes out of the toaster and let’s head out!” Taeyong shouted from the entry way where he was slipping on his shoes.

A moment of stillness passed through the group before everyone was scrambling for the nearest food and heading for the door. The sound of shuffling feet and moving clothes was the only thing to accompany them, everyone’s mouth too full of food to speak.

“I call shotgun!” Racing in front of everyone, Mark grabbed the keys from Taeyong’s hand and ran off with them.

“Mark! Jeez, what the hell man?” Taeyong threw his hands up in the air in defeat at the youngest jests.

“Ah to be young and wild again,” Taeil sighed in mock admiration, hefting his bag over his shoulder as he walked.

“You don’t miss that age at all do you?” A snicker escaped Jaehyun as he talked. Jaehyun was only two years older than Mark but those two years sure made a difference.

Taeil scoffed, “God no, I was extremely awkward, had way too much acne, and wasn’t much with the ladies. The only thing I had going for me at that age was my voice.”

“Don’t say that. You also had your height.” Jaehyun ducked as Taeil’s bag came sailing over his head. Then there was a groan as Taeil shoved Jaehyun.

“Respect your elders.” Taeil moved to shove Jaehyun again but Jaehyun was quick to scramble to his knees, raising his arms high above his head. Only after shoving Jaehyun lightly once more did Taeil walk away to grab his bag.

Jaehyun watched Taeil walk away and had just enough gall to get one last remark in, “Sorry grandpa,” before he was running off after Mark.

Maybe those two years hadn’t made as much of a difference as Doyoung thought.

Soon they reached the car where Mark was waiting in the front seat, Jaehyun sitting right behind him.

The ride to the company was spent in quiet comfort as all the members checked their phones or talked quietly amongst themselves. Doyoung couldn’t help but look out the window, letting the memories of the night before wash over him.

When they finally arrived in the parking area for the company, Taeyong was ready to get them all up to the practice room. “Alright everyone out of the car and to the studio. We don’t want to be late,” but looking at the clock they were still 10 minutes early.

Doyoung felt a soft buzzing from his phone as he exited the car. His phone was ringing. It took him a moment before he focused on the caller ID.
Cutie J

“I’ll catch up!” he called to the members as they entered the building. What should he do? How should he answer? Crap, the phone was still ringing in his hand and he was wasting time trying to figure out a cool thing to say. Why was this so hard?

Oh god. Oh god, oh god. It was exactly like in the movies, he was panicking about answering and time was running out and he didn’t know what to say. If he kept over thinking the call was going to go to voice mail so he just pushed the answer button as fast as he could.

“Hi,” He placed his hand over his eyes, embarrassed already.

Expecting the soft lure of Jungwoo’s voice, Doyoung had to hold the phone away from his ear when Lucas started shouting into it. “Ay Man!”

After a moment Doyoung pulled the phone back to his ear and he could faintly hear Jungwoo scolding Lucas and telling him to go away.

“Hey, sorry about Lucas. He grabbed my phone.” The quiet voice of Jungwoo flooded through Doyoung. The sound alone recalled his blush from the night before. He seemed slightly breathless, probably from wrestling the phone back from Lucas.

“Oh, uh no problemo.” Problemo? What was he saying? Doyoung had to resist the urge to bang his fist against his head. “So, why did you call?” In his chest, he could feel his heart thumping wildly.

“Uh- yeah. You didn’t answer my texts and I’ve always preferred calls over text anyways. So I just figured I’d give you a call and ask you out. As friends of course. Like on an outing. And I’m rambling on now, sorry.” Jungwoo ended in a huff. Behind the phone, he can hear the faint shouts of Lucas from another room.

“Sorry about that, my members where being annoying and then everything happened at once...” In his nervousness, Doyoung shoved his hand in his pocket. His foot tapped lightly underneath him. “Where would we go on this outing?”

On the other end, Jungwoo laughed lightly before taking a deep breath, “So Lucas and I have free tickets to this carnival on Saturday,” a pause. “And I guess I was wondering if you would like to come with us.”

His question shot Doyoung into thoughtful silence. What was he doing Saturday? Did the group already have plans? He didn’t think so. But he would have to check the schedule and with Taeyong to make sure they didn’t have any extra practices. Finally realizing that Jungwoo was still waiting for an answer, Doyoung started to stutter into the phone. “I - I - well- I want too. I just don’t know if I already have plans.” Doyoung started to bite at his fingernail nervously, his foot still tapping its toe against the hard asphalt.

“Yeah of course, I knew this would kind of be a shot in the dark anyways.”

The sound of the company door opening made Doyoung turn his head. Out of the door walked Taeyong. He was looking around and glancing down at his watch. When he spotted Doyoung talking on the phone he jogged over, “Dude, you’re late. Whatever call you’re on, you need to hang up now and get your butt to practice.”

“I have to get going. But I’ll let you know.” He could feel his face was stretched into a grin but he couldn’t help it.

“Okay, bye bye.”

“Bye.” As he let himself hang up, Doyoung pressed into his mind the sound of Jungwoo’s lingering goodbye. How cute it was and how soft. He willed himself to keep it in his memory.

Taeyong and Doyoung walked up to the practice room in relative silence until right before they entered. Taeyong reached out to grab his elbow and pull him back.

“If it’s a girl you need to end it now.” Taeyong’s eyes were serious and his mouth dead set.

“What?” Asked Doyoung, taken aback.

“The phone call and the texts this morning. I saw the way you were, blushing and smiling. If it was with a girl, end it all now.” Taeyong took a deep sigh before continuing. “I have already done so much damage to our team. I feel it is my responsibility to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes I made.” He was referring to the rumors that had started up right after they debuted. People saying he scammed them and sent them bricks. Doyoung knew how crushed Taeyong had been about it all. He thought that if they didn’t do well it was because he let things from his personal life and his past interfere with the present.

“I know, don’t worry it wasn’t a girl.” But just because Jungwoo wasn’t a girl didn’t mean that it wouldn’t be as detrimental to their success as a group. In fact this information could very well sink their group to the point where they disbanded. A failure before they had even started.

Doyoung knew that Taeyong would blame himself to the very end. How could he still go out and see Jungwoo, knowing that this could end everything?

Because they were just friends, a cool guy that Doyoung had met on the street and they wanted to hang out. That’s all this was. He let himself rationalize the situation once more. But still he couldn’t stop the fluttering in his chest every time he thought about going to the carnival with Jungwoo. And Lucas.

Before Taeyong entered the practice room Doyoung wanted to ask him one more thing. “Hey, are we doing anything Saturday?”

Chapter Text

Doyoung stepped off the bus and onto the busy street. He only had a little ways to walk, but it would give him some time to think.

What was making him so nervous to go see Jungwoo? Was it because he thought Jungwoo was cute? Or maybe because he knew they were both gay? Did he think that something could happen between them? They were just friends, just friends. Right?

Doyoung looked down at the directions on his phone once more. A notification appeared at the top of the screen.

Cutie J
Hey where are you?

Doyoung
I’m on my way.
Don’t worry I didn’t bail.

Cutie J
Whew! I was worried! (:
Lucas and I are waiting
next to the entrance

A small smile began to bloom across Doyoung’s face. He tried to remind himself that if he let himself continue, the blush would still be there when he met with Jungwoo. But… It wasn’t like Jungwoo hadn’t seen his blushing, flushed face before.

It looked like word had gotten out about the carnival and everyone seemed to be walking in the same direction towards the edge of the park. Doyoung kept his eyes peeled for Lucas’s tall form or Jungwoo’s whispy brown hair. There they were. Today Jungwoo’s hair was pulled back half up into a tiny ponytail, little strands peaked out to frame little waves around his face. The back half was left down in wavy locks. With his hair pulled back it gave his face a more angular appearance. Sharper and rougher.

Once more Doyoung was glad that he had worn his beanie out. If they had been next to each other, Doyoung’s hair would have looked more like a shaved Barbie head than an actual hairstyle.

Lucas was standing next to him wearing a long woolen sweater, his hair was disheveled but still managed to look handsome.

Doyoung
I see you

Cutie J
Wait what? Where?

Doyoung watched Jungwoo’s head dart around trying to find him.

Doyoung
to your left

Jungwoo’s hair flipped as he looked away from Doyoung and towards the park in the other direction. Lucas however was cluelessly messing with his sleeves and failed to notice when his friend walked off to search.

A single laugh escaped Doyoung as he watched. Jungwoo was wearing a loose white t-shirt that was tucked into the front of his fitted but baggy, navy jean and thin wire spectacles sat on the edge of his nose. Casual was a good look on him. But the fact that he looked so eager to find Doyoung sent a tingling through Doyoung’s chest.

Doyoung
your other left

Another flip of his hair as Jungwoo turned the other way to face Doyoung. His eyes lit up and a wide smile appeared on his face as he saw Doyoung’s half wave.

Jungwoo quickly tapped Lucas, who stopped pulling on the loose strings of his shirt, and started towards Doyoung. Hands shoved in his pockets, Jungwoo walked to stand beside Doyoung.

“Now listen guys I have a plan. There is an order to this so we can do everything and I have created-“ Lucas searched his pockets for the paper with his list.

“Lucas we both know that as soon as we get in there you’ll see a cute girl and that’s the last we’ll see of you all evening. Let’s just go in. Lead the way.” He started to lightly push Lucas forwards towards the entrance.

Jungwoo hung back a little until he was walking side by side with Doyoung. “I’m really glad you could come.” He reached up to tuck some of the loose hair behind his ear.

“So, you wanted me to come because Lucas always leaves?” His question was rhetorical but he still waited for an answer.

The crowd was tight as they passed through the gate and into the carnival. Once inside, Doyoung had to pause and take everything in around him. It was insane. Booths, rides, stuffed animals. Everywhere he looked was something new. He closed his eyes and breathed it all in.

“Well yeah, but also I really wanted to see you again.” A smile was hidden in the sound of Jungwoo’s voice. “Have you never been to a carnival before?”

Opening his eyes Doyoung looked at Jungwoo. “Never.” Their eyes connected for just a moment before Doyoung was being shoved forward with the crowd. He felt people pushing him from all sides. They had still been stuck in the entrance where Doyoung had stopped. He tried to catch his bearings but when he looked around it was into a sea of unfamiliar faces. Where did Jungwoo go? He could have sworn they had just been standing next to one another a second ago. Don’t panic, he told himself. He just needed to find a place where people weren’t moving as much.

Suddenly someone was grasping his hand and pulling him back. His eyes followed the line of their connecting hands until he looked into the soft brown eyes of Jungwoo.

“Careful, don’t want you to get lost.” He gave a small smirk before he turned and started to walk away, pulling Doyoung behind him, weaving through the crowd until they caught up with Lucas.

All Doyoung could focus on was Jungwoo’s hand grasping his. It wasn’t like the way couples held hands, weaving fingers, but it almost felt more intimate. All the nerves in his hand were on fire as they sent signals to Doyoung’s brain.

“Lucas!” Jungwoo called out, waving to Lucas in the distance. Only as they finally reached Lucas did Jungwoo’s grip on Doyoung’s hand loosen and their fingers fell apart.

Doyoung could feel his fingers reach out to take Jungwoo’s hand again but he pulled it back and clenched his fist at his side. He let his fist unclench before he finally he tuned back into what Jungwoo was saying to Lucas.

“-Only just got in here, let’s at least try to stick together for a little bit before you go running off okay?”

“Okay, but that means we stick to my plan.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungwoo laughed at Lucas’ stubbornness.

For a moment Doyoung stood in stunned silence. His laugh, it was beautiful, sweet, soft and perfect. How could someone be so adorable? A smile was on his face before he knew what was happening. “So how did you guys get in for free?” He tried not to stand there like a fool staring at a pretty flower, even though that’s exactly what he had been doing.

They started towards the first ride Lucas wanted to do. “Lucas knows everyone. And I mean everyone. Even people he shouldn’t know.”

There was something in Jungwoo’s voice. Almost a warning.

“What is he saying about me? That I’m a stud who gets all the ladies? That I have luscious hair and rippling muscles? Am I close?” Lucas turned around and continued to walk backwards. He flipped his hair dramatically as he spoke.

“Lead the way Lucas, and don’t worry about what we are saying.” Jungwoo pushed him but Lucas quickly recovered his footing and turned around.

All three of them stopped in front of a large tower. The tower would lift them high into the air then let them free fall drop.

Doyoung craned his neck to look towards the top of the tower. “Couldn’t we start with something a little less…” He paused for a moment trying to find the right words. But just gestured in front of him when he was unable to come up with a good word.

“No,” Lucas looked at him in disbelief. “We can do it! You can do it! Come on!” pulling Jungwoo and Doyoung by the arms, they all got in line.

There was a circling in Doyoung’s stomach that told him how nervous he was for this. The tower seemed to go really high.

“Don’t be scared.”

Doyoung looked over at Jungwoo’s amused smile and glanced back up at the tower. “Easier said than done.” Palms sweaty, Doyoung tried to wipe his hands on his pants. A soft squeeze on his arm made him turn back to Lucas and Jungwoo.

“Listen. You go up, you come down. What is there to be scared of?”

“I’m not sure, I’m not scared of heights. Maybe it’s just the anticipation.” Doyoung gave them a smile, trying not to seem as scared as he really was.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jungwoo spoke. “What if we distract you? Would that help?”

Doyoung tried to swallow. “Sure.”

Jungwoo turned from Doyoung to Lucas. “You’re great at distractions.”

“Yeah, and? I’m sure anything you do would be way more distracting.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well… you could- you know. Distract him other ways.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

But as Doyoung listened to their banter he felt his nerves settle and he started to laugh. He almost didn’t realize when Jungwoo and Lucas stopped talking to stare at him.

“What?” He questioned, suddenly self-conscious of himself.

“I just really like your laugh,” Jungwoo tilted his head, “How old are you anyways?”

“I’m 21. What about you guys?” He smiled but his smile dropped when they didn’t respond. “Wait, how old are you guys?”

Finally Jungwoo spoke up. “I’m 19. Lucas is 18.”

Silence.

And more silence as Doyoung tried to process this information. They were so young. They didn’t act young though. They acted much older than their years. This was crazy. He didn’t know what to say so the only thing that came out of his mouth was less than articulate. “Oh.”

“We didn’t know your age otherwise we wouldn’t have been so informal with you. I mean I wouldn’t have, Lucas still doesn’t know how to speak formally but that can’t be helped. We meant no disrespect at all. Oh my, I’m rambling again.” One of Jungwoo’s hands lifted up to lightly cover his mouth.

“No it’s cool, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.” Doyoung tried to save the conversation. He looked ahead. It was almost their turn in line. “So, Lucas. Where are you from?”

“Hong Kong. I moved here two years ago when my parents kicked me out.” Lucas shifted uncomfortably where he stood. This obviously wasn’t a topic that he wanted to talk about.

Jungwoo tried to change the subject but he was interrupted by one of the workers.

“How many people in your group?”

“Three,” Jungwoo held up three fingers as he spoke.

“Okay we have two more seats on this go, do you care if you’re separated?”

The three guys exchanged a look and Doyoung was about to tell them to go first when Lucas spoke up. “You guys go first. I think I see a cute girl in the group behind us.”

The other two tried to argue but Lucas shoved them forwards and onto the platform.

The nervousness he had felt earlier was back as Doyoung strapped himself into the ride.

Next to him Jungwoo laid his hand on Doyoung’s knee and rubbed his thumb trying to comfort him. His nervousness must be showing on his face.

There was a shift as the machine locked and started to raise high into the air.

“Oh shit.” Doyoung looked down at Lucas’ ever shrinking form as he talked with some girls that had been behind them. Well, at least he was enjoying himself.

As the ride reached the top, it stopped and the mechanisms inside switched causing the whole thing to jolt. Instinctually Doyoung’s hand reached out to grasp Jungwoo’s which was still on his knee.

“Ready?”

There was no time to reply as they dropped down towards the ground. Doyoung could feel himself screaming beside Jungwoo who was doing the same.

All too soon the ride was over and they were slowing back onto the platform.

Doyoung and Jungwoo left the platform and waited on the side for Lucas.

“Oh no, you lost your glasses Jungwoo.” Doyoung pointed out as they left.

“It’s fine. It’s not like I actually needed them to see.” Jungwoo smiled and looked up to where Lucas was shouting something down at them, but neither Jungwoo nor Doyoung could make out what he was trying to say.

A faint rumbling of Jungwoo’s stomach interrupted their silence. “Whoops, sorry. I guess my stomach is impatient to eat.”

Doyoung noticed that he had started to slip into formal speech. “Relax. You’ve already spoken to me informally. It does no good for you to switch back now.”

Jungwoo took a deep breath before he spoke again, “I guess I’m just nervous.” He lifted his hand up as if to pull back his hair but stopped when he remembered that it was already pulled up. Awkwardly his hand froze and then lowered slowly by his side. Doyoung watched as he smiled and looked back up to Lucas.

Lucas’ loud shouting as he descended downward was probably heard by the entire park. Jungwoo and Doyoung watched him exit the ride, still talking to the girls that he had sat by.

“Guys, this is Jinhyo and Youlee. They are visiting from Busan.” Lucas’ infectious smile had already spread across the girl’s face and soon was infecting Jungwoo and Doyoung.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Jungwoo turned his attention from the two girls and to Lucas. “Can we go get some food? I’m starving.” He pressed his hands to his stomach and made a sad face.

A look of shock overcame Lucas’ face as he spoke, “I- I have a list!” His hands started to fumble for the list as he brought it out to show Jungwoo. “See? After the Death Drop is the Ring of Fire! Food is all the way down here.” He pointed to a spot about halfway down the list.

Ring of Fire? Doyoung could feel his stomach starting to get queezy again just at the name. Maybe it was best if he skipped that one. “It’s okay, um, I’m feeling hungry too. So Jungwoo and I can head get food and we’ll meet you at,” he paused to read the list, trying to find a ride with a non-deadly name. “Ah, Back to the Future. We’ll meet you there. Sounds good?”

“Alright I guess,” Lucas relented. He turned back to the starstruck girls standing next to him, “You guys up to come with me right?”

They nodded enthusiastically and without a second thought the three of them were off.

“How does he do it?” Doyoung wondered out loud.

“What?” Jungwoo looked at him questioningly. They were heading through the crowd, Jungwoo lead the way as they meandered.

“How does he manage to woo girls everywhere?”

“Lucas is a busy man,” A laugh escaped Jungwoo. “It’s funny you say that because I think that all the time. He just has way to much charisma.”

"What’s his story? I mean he got kicked out and moved here, but how did you meet him?” This might not be something that he shouldn’t have asked but his curiosity had gotten the best of him.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jungwoo looked up to the sky, “Ah, well, I don’t know if that’s necessarily my story to tell. Plus it’s really long and complicated. I’m sure someday he’ll tell you.” An unsaid statement lay in the air. Jungwoo was implying that he thought they would be friends for a very long time. Also unsaid, Doyoung agreed.

“Where does he live?” They had arrived at the food booths and were waiting in one of the lines to order.

“He lives with my family. We sort of adopted him, I guess.”

“Oh,” When Doyoung looked over at Jungwoo again he was staring over his shoulder. “Do you-“

"Let’s go somewhere else.” He interrupted. His eyes following something behind Doyoung, but when Doyoung looked back he couldn’t tell what Jungwoo was looking at.

“What about your food?” Doyoung looked around him, confused.

Instead of answering Jungwoo grabbed his arm and started to pull him through the crowd, looking back every couple seconds at something. Whatever it was, Jungwoo wanted to get away from it.

Trying not to trip, Doyoung followed after him. There was a moment where Jungwoo stopped and looked around him, searching for something. He must have found it because he started to pull Doyoung again in a different direction. They were moving against the flow of the crowd, almost running. A large tent loomed ahead of them and Jungwoo hurried to pull Doyoung into one of the flaps.

Inside was dark and cramped. Boxes were poking into Doyoung’s legs and back. Jungwoo had his back against the entrance of the flap and his chest was pressed against Doyoung’s in the cramped space.

Jungwoo looked behind him and scooted further inside of the tent.

Pain radiated up Doyoung’s leg as something pressed onto his foot. “Ouch, I think you’re stepping on my toes.”

“Oh jeez, sorry.” He tried to shift his weight off of Doyoung’s foot. The space was so cramped though; he didn’t have much elsewhere to go. As he leaned back he started to lose his balance. Arms reaching out, he tried forward to counter balance and fell onto Doyoung. He tried not to wince as sharp corners of the boxes behind him pressed into his back.

Jungwoo’s hands reached out to either side of Doyoung’s head to catch himself.

They were too close. He was too close. Their eyes had adjusted to the dark space just enough to see each other’s faces. The only sound was their soft breathes. Doyoung couldn’t concentrate. All he could see was how close Jungwoo was. “Who was that?” He asked, trying to alleviate the sudden tension.

“Just an ex-boyfriend I didn’t want to see.” His eyes looked deep into Doyoung’s, just an inch or two apart from each other.

“An ex?” Doyoung’s voice was breathless in the cramped space. He watched with wide eyes as Jungwoo glanced down at his lips as he talked. Oh, god.

Jungwoo paused, his breath frozen in the space between them, “Yeah.” It was more of a sigh than an actual word. Slowly his arms were bending more to lean into Doyoung.

The electricity of the moment almost swept Doyoung away, but before it could the rational part of his mind pressed down on him. He couldn’t let this happen. This would be the first step down a rabbit hole. A step he didn’t even know if he was ready to take. A step that he didn’t know where it would lead. But looking at Jungwoo’s soft lips and tanned cheeks, could it be that bad? Once more he was at risk for being carried off in his emotions. He couldn’t let this happen.

Chapter Text

Jungwoo was getting closer and Doyoung’s will was wavering more and more by the second.

Almost as if he just realized how close he had gotten, Jungwoo pushed off his hands and in the limited space tried to get more room between them. “I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to cross a line. I know you’re not looking to date. I guess I just got caught up in my emotions and I wasn’t thinking.”

His confession caught Doyoung by surprise, because if Jungwoo had kissed him, he wouldn’t have stopped it. He was so wrapped up in his own emotions, a part of him was still aching for his lips to meet Jungwoo’s. Wishing that Jungwoo had just closed the distance and kissed him.

Jungwoo continued to ramble, a cute nervous tick that Doyoung had noticed recently, his hands fidgeting in front of him- “And I hope that you don’t think that I didn’t respect that. Because I do. I really really like you, and I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“Stop.” His feelings were only encouraged by Jungwoo’s confession. How could he have met someone so amazing? People like him just didn’t exist. How did everything he say just make Doyoung fall for him more? But he was right. Doyoung didn’t want to date, or did he? Shaking his head, he looked into Jungwoo’s eyes. Wow, his eyes. The soft oak color of his eyes was like taking a dive into a volcano. Deep and endless but also filled with a passion and fire.

As Doyoung looked he could feel his blush spreading from his face down his neck and over his ears.

Jungwoo’s face was full of confusion. “Stop?-”

He couldn’t say anymore because in a moment of pure, raw emotion Doyoung wrapped his hand around Jungwoo’s neck and pulled him to him. Their lips meeting in the middle. Pressed together in a tight embrace.

This feeling was amazing. The touch of their bodies pressed together in the tight space and the climax of their touching lips was more amazing than Doyoung could have imagined. Too soon, he let the pressure of his hand on the back of Jungwoo’s neck release so they could pull away. Slowly, his hand slipped down until it rested on his chest. His other hand clenched with a fist full of Jungwoo’s shirt at his waist.

Doyoung couldn’t help but take a deep breathe in as he tried to ingrain this moment in his mind forever. The air smelled like cinnamon and dried leaves. Doyoung couldn’t help but take another breath in, not fully realizing that the smell was coming from Jungwoo’s shirt.

He had to resist the urge to continue kissing Jungwoo. It was all he wanted to do. The rational part of his mind finally stepped forward and pulled him back to reality. They were in a cramped space, hiding from Jungwoo’s ex, and he had just kissed him. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking at all.

Doyoung’s eyes fell to where his hand was resting on Jungwoo’s chest. The contrast of his skin against the white shirt. Like the contrast of their personalities. Doyoung, a guy who had so much baggage and wasn’t able to love freely. But Jungwoo, this amazing guy who had so much confidence and swagger to everything he did. The comparison shot a pain into his heart. Doyoung finally looked up again into the waiting oak eyes of Jungwoo.

“Wow.” The softness of Jungwoo’s voice wasn’t even enough to break the moment.

They stayed that way for a while, letting the lingering of their kiss influence the air around them.

“I need to call Lucas.” Jungwoo spoke abruptly, breaking the silence. He fumbled in the darkness to find his phone and pulled it out of one of his pockets. The brightness of the screen lit up the dark space, illuminating his face. Doyoung could see him mess with the phone for a moment before pressing the phone to his ear. He started to bounce in place as he waited for Lucas to answer. “Hey.” A pause, “Yeah I know. He saw me but we got away.” Jungwoo listened as Lucas spouted into the phone.

Doyoung couldn’t hear what he was saying but the tone wasn’t Lucas’ regular self. This ex must have been something serious.

“Yes, Lucas stop worrying. Did he see you?” There was evident silence on the other line before Lucas answered. “Okay. I’ll see you soon. Let’s meet outside the park by the noodle place you like. Yeah. Okay, bye.” Finally, Jungwoo hung up and shoved his phone back into his pocket. “I’m so sorry again. Would it be alright if we got out of here? I don’t really want to see my ex again. I know of a really good club we could go to or maybe we could go get some food.” Jungwoo waited for a reply.

“Yeah uh, sure.” Doyoung tried to unwrap his thoughts and think clearly.

“Okay, let me just make sure the coast is clear.” In the limited space, he turned around and peaked out of the tent flap. Jungwoo reached back to grab Doyoung’s hand and pulled him along. They slowly crept out of the tent and into the open crowd. Jungwoo’s eyes were darting left and right.

He pulled Doyoung along as they made for the exit of the carnival. Doyoung just let himself be pulled along and tried to adjust his eyes to the bright outside light.

Staying along the edge, they finally left and started down a side path towards the end of the park.

“Jungwoo?” Doyoung found himself speaking up after they had gotten some distance from the carnival.

Instead of answering, Jungwoo gave a short nod of his head. Still facing forward and away from Doyoung.

Struggling to say the words out loud for the first time, Doyoung’s voice was no more than a whisper. “I really like you too.” It was still a mystery to himself why he was choosing to tell Jungwoo this. Did he want to date? What good would this information do?

But seeing the smile on Jungwoo’s face told him why. Because if he could look at his smile all day, he would. Despite what his brain was telling him, his heart had different plans.

Jungwoo turned to face him. His thumb rubbing circles on the back of Doyoung’s palm.

“Hey there Jungwoo, long time no see.” A broad figure stepped out from the shadows behind Jungwoo. “Who knew, of all places, that I would find you here?”

The bright smile on Jungwoo’s face dropped like glass on pavement. Shattering. “Yoonhan,” when he spoke, his voice was unsteady. He turned to face the newcomer and his hand clenched Doyoung’s.

Yoonhan’s devilish smile grew wider as he glanced over at Doyoung. “I see you’ve found a new friend. Where’s the old one?” His arms folded over his broad chest. The way his lips pulled back over his teeth sent involuntary shivers down Doyoung’s spine. Everything about Yoonhan said ‘bad dude’.

“Funny way to talk about someone who used to be your best friend.” There was obvious loathing in Jungwoo’s voice.

A feeling swelled in Doyoung’s heart. This man was making his hair stand on end, but even more, Doyoung felt the need to protect Jungwoo from him.

There was the smallest reaction from Yoonhan at Jungwoo’s words, a slight raise of his eyebrows but that was the only indication that his words effected him at all. “I think you and I should talk, alone.”

“I don’t think he will be going anywhere with you.” Doyoung took this moment to step in front of Jungwoo, careful to put himself between them.

“Who are you to stop me?” Yoonhan took a step toward Doyoung, fully using his height to his advantage. His large frame blocking their path ahead.

Instead of backing away Doyoung took a step forward as well. There was no way that Doyoung was going to let a man like Yoonhan intimidate him. A small tug on his hand made him look back at Jungwoo. His soft eyes were filled with a fear. Whether for Doyoung or because of Yoonhan or both, Doyoung didn’t know.

They "had only met twice and kissed once. Less than an hour ago in fact. Did that really qualify him to be making decisions for Jungwoo? No. But he could see from the pain in Jungwoo’s eyes that his ex was not someone he ever wanted to be near again.

“I’m more to him than you are.” Doyoung willed his voice to sound strong.

A scoff escaped Yoonhan, “Tell the old friend that he still owes us. Unless you’d like to pay his debt other ways. I know how you like it.” If voices could drip with slime, his would have been.

Jungwoo’s eyes were shooting daggers at Yoonhan.“Stop. Now.” No longer was his voice quiet and timid. A fierce anger had replaced it.

“Rough and dirty,” Yoonhan cackled.

“He asked you to stop.” Doyoung’s fist clenched at his side. His vision growing shaky around the edges.

“Why do you care? Have you fucked him yet?” Yoonhan leaned down into Doyoung’s face.

Doyoung didn’t even think about what he did next. When he looked back at those seconds, everything was red and his only thought was connecting his fist with Yoonhan’s jaw.

Shit, now his hand hurt, he tried to shake away the pain. Worth it, if it got that asshole to shut his mouth.

It might have gotten Yoonhan to shut his mouth but now he was heading toward Doyoung, fist pulled back to swing.

Not the face, he couldn’t get hit in the face. Doyoung ducked and pulled Jungwoo back with him.

"Go Jungwoo.” Turning around, Doyoung put his arm around Jungwoo and pushed him in the other direction. The crunch of gravel followed them as Yoonhan chased after them. “Go,” he whispered and pushed Jungwoo forward. He turned around just in time for Yoonhan to swing his arm in an undercut. Punching him right in the stomach.

A groan escaped Doyoung as he doubled over. An elbow to his back made him fall to his knees, clutching his stomach.

Yoonhan crouched down and whispered into Doyoung’s ear, his voice filled with smug satisfaction. “Jungwoo is just another whore, don’t let him fool you.”

Doyoung sat on his knees clutching at his stomach trying to catch his breath. He glanced over at where Jungwoo still stood, frozen like a deer caught in headlights.

Standing up, Yoonhan walked over to Jungwoo and whispered in his ear. As he spoke, Jungwoo’s eyes clenched shut like he could make Yoonhan disappear if he just wished hard enough.

There was a pause from the trio as a group of people came into view, walking down the path.

Yoonhan must have sensed that he couldn’t take Jungwoo away now that the path wasn’t so secluded. “I’ll be seeing you later,” He said just loud enough for Doyoung, who was struggling to his feet, to hear. As he walked past Doyoung again he said one last thing. “Ask him what I mean.”

When their eyes met, Jungwoo immediately looked away. His lip shaking. Doyoung stood and walked over to Jungwoo, pulling him away. Further and further from what happened.

Finally Jungwoo stopped walking and started to pull his hand out of Doyoung’s. “You- you should go home. I’m sorry I asked you to come.” He refused to look Doyoung in the eyes and his knees shook.

“Don’t.” Doyoung grabbed a hold of his hand again. Taking it in both of his own. “I don’t care what he said. You never have to see him again. Don’t let him get to you.”

“But, aren’t you curious about what he said?” Jungwoo struggled again to wiggle his fingers away and this time Doyoung let him. His hand reached up to rub the back of his neck.

A sigh escaped him. He didn’t want to lie to Jungwoo. “Yes, I am curious. But that doesnt mean I want you to tell me before you’re ready.”

Jungwoo turned away and stared off into the distance.

“Hey,” Doyoung touched Jungwoo’s elbow and when Jungwoo finally looked at him, tears brimming in his eyes, Doyoung opened his arms and let him lean into him. Doyoung wrapped his arms around the shaking Jungwoo and held him there. Softly rubbing circles onto his back and whispering “Its okay,” over and over.

“Thank you.” Taking a deep breath Jungwoo finally looked back at Doyoung.

Chapter Text

Jungwoo’s body was very warm in Doyoung’s arms, almost like a furnace that was on full blast. When Doyoung looked at his face, it was flushed bright red.

“Are you alright? You feel really warm.” He reached one of his hands up to press the back of his fingers onto Jungwoo’s forehead.

Jungwoo pulled himself out of Doyoung’s arms and started to press his own hands to his cheeks. “Yeah I’m just a mess.” He looked down the path and stepped back again, further from Doyoung.

"No, Jungwoo. You feel really, really warm.” Reaching out once more, Doyoung tried to feel Jungwoo’s head, but Jungwoo was quick to push it away.

“It’s probably just the cold. I should go find Lucas and head home.” Eyes still glancing around him, Jungwoo picked at the edge of his shirt.

“Oh, okay.” He could feel his heart drop in his chest. “When can I see you again?” He tried to catch Jungwoo’s eye, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.

“I’m not sure, I’ll call you. But I really should go. Lucas is waiting.” For the shortest of seconds, Jungwoo glanced up and met Doyoung’s gaze. He reached up and pulled some fallen strands of hair out of his face, tucking them behind his ear. “Bye Doyoung.” Jungwoo turned around and crossing his arms, hurried down the path.

“Bye,” sighed Doyoung to the empty path.

The sun was starting to set behind the trees making the path seem much darker than it had several minutes ago. Without Jungwoo, the path acquired a certain darkness whereas with Jungwoo, even in the twilight things has still been bright with his smile.

With his hands still deep in his pockets, Doyoung started back towards the subway, confused and alone.

***

As Jungwoo walked down the path soon he could see the familiar lights of the street shining up ahead.

When he exited the overhang of the trees the world was suddenly filled with the loud noises of traffic and people passing. The lights outside of shops were turning on before his eyes. Just down the street he could just see Lucas’ tall form standing outside the noodle shop.

Steeling himself against the sudden breeze, Jungwoo headed to Lucas. Despite the wind that seemed to chill Jungwoo to the bone, his mind was starting to feel jumbled and foggy.

“Lucas,” he managed to gasp out as he reached his best friend, “Let’s go home.”

Lucas took one look at Jungwoo before his calm face was transformed into one of concern. “What’s wrong? Where’s Doyoung?”

“It’s nothing,” His teeth chattered in the warm May air. “He’s gone home.”

They walked for a good while in silence, but about a block from their house, Lucas couldn’t keep the silence any longer. “What happened? I know you’re keeping something from me.” His voice was rough and his hands were nervously fidgeting in front of him.

Jungwoo felt even colder and his whole body was shaking. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” His steps got bigger, trying to get back to the apartment.

As they arrived at their building, they started the long trek up, up, up. There was no elevator and so they had to climb the stairs all the time.

Finally, they got to the front door and pushed it open into the entryway. The familiar smells of his sister’s cooking welcomed them in.

But even as Jungwoo entered the apartment he continued to shiver.

“You’re late!” called a voice from the kitchen.

“I see mom isn’t home yet so I’d say that we are just on time.” He tried to keep his voice from shaking. Slowly he made his way into the kitchen behind Lucas who found some open counter space and hopped up.

There was already a bowl full of food sitting on the counter. Making sure Eunwoo wasn’t looking, Lucas started to pick out pieces and pop them into his mouth. Eunwoo cooked most of the time because both of Jungwoo’s parents worked late and Eunwoo only had a part time job while she was in college.

Eunwoo was thin with a mop of uncontrollable curly black hair. She had tried for years to get it to be manageable but most days, like today, it sat up in a towering bun on top of her head.

“How was the carnival?” She asked as she stirred some soup. Looking back she caught Lucas with his hand in the bowl and whacked it away with her spoon. Her eyes said ‘touch it again and you’ll get more than a slap on the wrist’.

When her eyes glanced over at Jungwoo, she almost dropped the spoon. “Juwoos, what’s wrong?” She immediately headed over to him, her hands feeling his face and neck. “Are you getting sick again?”

Jungwoo grabbed her hands and pushed them away from his face, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine, Lucas how long has he been like this?”

“Just since we started home,” Lucas had his arms shoved in his lap as he looked over nervously.

“Shit, go lay down now. Lucas, go get some blankets.” Eunwoo turned around and opened the medicine cabinet. She grabbed a thermometer and when she saw that Jungwoo still hadn’t moved, she shoved him toward the couch. “Open up.”

There was no use arguing with her now, so Jungwoo reluctantly opened his mouth and let her put the thermometer under his tongue.

Lucas came over and held out a bunch of blankets in his arms, one of which was electric.

“I’m fine,” Jungwoo tried to insist but he didn’t stop them as they laid the blankets over him. The relief from the cold was too great.

Jungwoo’s eyes closed as a wave of sudden exhaustion wafted over him. He could hear Eunwoo and Lucas talking somewhere nearby.

“Do you think he’s getting sick again?” Lucas had lowered his voice to a whisper.

“The doctor said he would have years before it got to this stage.” Eunwoo replied, equally quiet.

“Without medicine or any help?”

“There isn’t much we know about it. And it’s not like I can just go in and ask someone about it.”

“What do we do?”

“I wish I knew.”

Jungwoo didn’t hear any more, his mind faded off to dreamland.

***

Doyoung looked at his watch as he rode the elevator up to the dorms. 10:19

Along the way home the adrenaline must have warn off. A sharp pain was starting in Doyoung’s knuckles and when he looked down, his hand was considerably swollen if not starting to bruise.

It wasn’t terribly late, hopefully he could just hide the bruises and swelling starting to form on his hand and run to his bedroom.

But he should have known that his members weren’t going to make it easy on him.

As he opened the door and stepped inside, Donghyuk came racing down the hall and hid behind Doyoung. Heading towards them was a very angry Mark, whose face currently had several drawings sharpied on it. On his cheek was a small penis ejaculating, and on his forehead was ‘Hyuk iz da Best’. On his chin and lip was a handlebar mustache and goatee.

“Save me Doyoung.”

“Donghyuk, you will pay.” Mark growled, shaking his hand at Donghyuk.

Being careful not to accidentally hit his injured hand on the wall, Doyoung raised his hands up. He watched as Mark chased Donghyuk around and around him. So much for sneaking off unnoticed.

“I refuse to save you Donghyuk, you did this to yourself.” Doyoung tried to move out of the way so that Mark could tackle Donghyuk to the ground.

Scratching his head, Doyoung walked into the living room. He could hear Donghyuk begging for mercy even as he entered the kitchen.

His stomach growled at its neglect. He hadn’t eaten all day, and he hadn’t realized how hungry he really was. For a moment doyoung forgot to keep his hand imoble and grasped the handle of the freezer. His knuckles protested at the motion, and Doyoung was quick to let go of the handle. Pressing his wrist to his chest as his fingers curled up instinctually.

Grabbing a handful of ice with his uninjured hand, Doyoung wrapped it in a small towel and exited the kitchen. He tried to go straight to his bedroom unnoticed.

“Hey Doyoung, Where have you been all day?” Yuta called from the living room where he sat with Kun doing a large puzzle on the coffee table.

“Nowhere, I was just out with some friends.” Both of Doyoung’s hands quickly whipped to hide behind Doyoung’s back. If the members saw his hands there would only be more questions.

“Oh,” Yuta turned back to the puzzle in front of him.

Quickly, Doyoung was walking to his bedroom before they could say anything else. He shared a room with Ten who was thankfully, hardly ever home.

Doyoung really needed time to think, preferably alone.

Carefully, he took off his jacket and cap, he was sore from Yoonhan’s punch to his stomach. And his hand ached with every movement. Oh god what if it was broken? Not good. He laid the makeshift ice pack on his hand very slowly. A small hiss escaped his mouth.

His bed looked too comfortable, the more he looked at it the more his comforter asked him to just lay down and relax, maybe sleep a little.

With a sigh he let himself fall, limbs sprawled out over the sheets.He groaned as he adjusted his hand so it lay on his stomach and the ice pack lay on top.

He reached into his front pocket for his phone, hoping for a message from Jungwoo. But an empty screen was all that reflected back at him. He found himself wishing they had taken a photo together. Something he could look at and remember.

Over and over in his mind he replayed the day. Doyoung let his hand reach up to softly touch his lips, the feeling of Jungwoo pressed to him fresh in his mind. He could feel himself blushing again.

Already, Doyoung’s mind was wondering the next time he would be able to see Jungwoo. What was his schedule like? Could he sneak out and watch them busk in a couple days? Tuesday maybe.

Doyoung glanced at his phone again. 10:37 Maybe he should message Jungwoo just in case.

Doyoung
hey
I hope you got home safe
I had a lot of fun tonight

For a minute or two he stared at the messages and waited for a response. When there wasn’t one he turned on his side and tried to sleep, feelings of their kiss still coursing through him.

***

Heat everywhere.

And wet.

Jungwoo was sweating.

The room was dark and it took a moment for Jungwoo’s eyes to adjust to the darkness. Slowly he turned his head. Slouched over the coffee table was Lucas, a little drool was falling from the corner of his lip and his long legs were shoved around one of the table legs.

“Lucas,” his voice cracked as he spoke but it was enough to startle Lucas awake.

“Huh? Jungwoo you’re awake?” Lucas sat up and rubbed his eyes roughly, stretching his arms. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I have six blankets on top of me.”

Lucas reached out to touch Jungwoo, his face relaxed as it felt his sweaty face. “Oh good, the fever broke.”

“Fever?” Jungwoo struggled to get out from under the blankets and into a sitting position. “But I feel fine now.” He tried to stand up but a wave of dizziness had him falling back down on the couch.

“Jungwoo, what happened yesterday?”

When Jungwoo met Lucas’ eye they were full of concern and worry.

“Yesterday? Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Lucas had crossed his arms and was staring Jungwoo down.

“Yoonhan happened.”

“Yoonhan? That-” after a few choice swear words Lucas spoke again. “What did he do?”

Jungwoo pulled the pony tail out of his hair and let it fall around his eyes. “Nothing. He made threats but Doyoung was there and Yoonhan was interrupted.

Lucas leaned forward, his hands clenched into fists on his knees, “What else did he do?”

“It’s fine. He didn’t take me. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Yes, but I remember what he did to you last time. If you give him even the slightest opening, he will wiggle his way in and- you’re just starting to get better from him.”

“I know.” Jungwoo sighed and leaned his head back against the couch. His hands fiddling with one of the blankets.

“What about Doyoung? Where did he go?”

“I left him. He doesn’t need to be involved in all of this.”

“Are you sure? I thought you really liked him.”

“I do.” Doyoung’s bright smile flashed through his mind, but Jungwoo shook his head trying to get the memory out. He needed to forget Doyoung.

Lucas must have gotten the hint because he changed the subject, “Do you think your fever was because of you-know-what?”

“How should I know? Even if it was, no doctor is going to give me treatment.” Jungwoo threw a couple of the blankets at Lucas. “Go to bed Lucas. It’s late.”

When Lucas had first moved in Jungwoo had tried to have them alternate who slept on the floor, but after Jungwoo had gotten sick, Lucas refused to take the couch.

So Jungwoo grabbed one of the blankets and curled up with it on the couch. He could hear Lucas moving the coffee table and getting settled in behind him.

He waited until he could hear Lucas’ soft snoring before he rolled back onto his back. His eyes stared at the ceiling and made shapes out of the bumps and shadows.

Lucas was right, this probably was his illness. They had warned him that this would come, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon. He always imagined he would have more time. He was only Nineteen.

Nineteen and dying.

Just great.