Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

10:52 am

Salty Tears added High in the Sky, Bird Brain, Hot Head, Frosty the Snowbitch, Tree Mum, Cinnamon Roll and Ghost Boi to the chat!
Salty Tears named the chat Is this a family?

Salty Tears: aye fam was good?

Ghost Boi: why

Salty Tears: i think the question dear christian is why not

Frosty The Snowbitch: Osh why did you make a group chat?

Salty Tears: wow guys, sorry for trying to boND AS A FAMILY

Bird Brain: oh you will be sorry, I’m sure

Ghost Boi: can it feathers

Salty Tears: oof

Cinnamon Roll: Savage

High in the Sky: What the fuck is goin on in here on this day?

Salty Tears: oh worm

Hot Head: I’m assuming Oceania was bored and wanted the ability to bother us all at once?

Cinnamon Roll: woa :o

Salty Tears: precisely Ruby, thank you.

Tree Mum: I have a feeling many shenanigans will ensue in this chat. I am very excited. :)

High in the Sky: omg Jewel you’re so precious

Tree Mum: Awww Skyla, thank you. As are you. :)

Cinnamon Roll: sdkgjhqior omg

Salty Tears: we stan a precious bean

Ghost Boi: a queen if you will

High in the Sky: tree queen

Salty Tears: tree queen

Ghost Boi: tree queen

Cinnamon Roll: tree queen

Frosty the Snowbitch: Tree queen

Hot Head: Tree Queen

Bird Brain: tree Queen

Tree mum: Uhhm?? I am slightly confused?

Cinnamon Roll changed Tree Mum’s name to Tree Queen

Tree Queen: Uh, alright?

Salty Tears: the cycle is complete

Frosty the Snowbitch: Confirmed: Jewel is a queen

Ghost Boi: we been knew

Cinnamon Roll: we been knEW

Ghost Boi: bro

Cinnamon Roll: bro

Ghost Boi: <3

Cinnamon Roll: <3

High in the Sky: pfft gay

Cinnamon Roll: u rite

Salty Tears: justin u wanna fight?

Cinnamon Roll: square up shorty he was mine first

Salty Tears: >:0

Bird Brain: waht

High in the Sky: tea

Frosty the Snowbitch: tea

Ghost Boi: y’all

High in the Sky changed Salty Tears’ name to Salty
High in the Sky changed Cinnamon Roll’s name to protec + attac

Salty: fuck u

Salty changed High in the Sky’s name to Bitch

Bitch: that’s fair

Frosty the Snowbitch: Oci. Language.

protec + attac: :0

Salty: youre not my dad

Frosty the Snowbitch: Oceania.

Salty: ugh fine

Salty changed Bitch’s name to binch

Salty: better?

Frosty the Snowbitch: … slightly

binch: oof he used the big brother voice

protec + attac: dad voice**

Ghost Boi: dude, /i/ felt that

Bird Brain: confirmed: Riv would make a good dad

protec + attac: rt

Tree Queen: Retweet

Hot Head: You’re right and you should say it. Pondered the possibility quite a bit, Riv would definitely make a good dad

Frosty the Snowbitch:

binch:

binch: :0

11:40 am
Meme Dream Team

Michael with a b: tea

benis: tea

Alien Kink: tea

fre shavacado: tea

kama chameleon: spill it sis

11:43am
Is this a family?

Hot Head: ???? What?? I’m agreeing with Lucifer???

Salty: why u thinkin about it so much tho?

Hot Head:

Hot Head:

Hot Head:

Hot Head: no reason,,,

protec + attac: riiiiiight

Ghost Boi: sounds fake but okay

Frosty the Snowbitch: aNYWay

Salty: yes, before my dear brother combusts, let us move on

Frosty the Snowbitch: yes lets

protec + attac:

Ghost Boi:

Hot Head:

Tree Queen:

binch:

Bird Brain:

binch: you guys wanna play uno in my room?

Ghost Boi: yES

protec + attac: I’M ALREADY OUTSIDE

binch: good god

Tree Queen: I shall gather the others and we will head to your room. :)

Salty: im bringING CAH TOO

protec + attac: BLESSED BE THE TINY CHILD

Salty: DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR KIDNEYS

protec + attac: VERY MUCH SO YES

binch: I already regret this

Chapter Text

4:07pm

Is this a family?

Salty: so anyways uni can suck my bepis fuck this

protec + attac: anyone wanna do me a solid and just,,,, drive over me?

Salty: mee 2 pls

binch: it’s literally the second day???

Tree Queen: Is it really that bad, you two?

Salty: its

protec + attac: hell

Salty: not fun

protec + attac: im gonna commit arson

protec + attac: then itll be exactly like hell

Salty: the teachers s u c k

protec + attac: zero good ones

Tree Queen: Well that’s just hurtful… ;-;

Salty: fbftbsfisf wE DON’T MEAN U JEWEL SOWWYY

protec + attac: WE LOVE YOU MUM

binch: Wait, why are you texting rn Jewel? Should you not be teaching a class????

Tree Queen: I have free days on Tuesdays this year.

binch: What a #blessing

Salty: pfbft so anyways,,,,, apart from Jewel literally a l l the other teachers can suck my chode.

binch: asdkljfglkjt OcEaNiA

Salty: wat

protec + attac: ur not wrong tho

Salty: o wait, yes I am,,

Salty: theres, like, one (1) good one

Salty: but still. that’s Not Enough

protec + attac: pfbfttbtbt oh YEAH our cooking professor!! She’s awesome

Salty: not to mention fuckin coOL

binch: Who is it?

protec + attac: Ms. Bell

binch: I don’t think I had her when I was there, she must be new

Salty: oh, yeah she is. Pretty sure she’s the same age as Justin lmao

protec + attac: she was sayin that she only just started working there this year, omf baby teach

Tree Queen: Her last name is Bell??

Salty: yeah, she teaches our joint cooking classes, and she’s Really Nice

protec + attac: shes also aDOrabLE, shes like a centaur but it’s not a horse body???

Salty: yeah, shes like half deer I think

protec + attac: and she makes the bEST brownies pvbrjhtkjshkl;rfj

Tree Queen: I…

binch: ??

Tree Queen: Do you two need a ride home?

protec + attac: :0

Salty: yeah, sure, if you’re offering

Tree Queen: cool ill pick u up. heading ther now.

protec + attac: but we finish in an hour,,,, we live walking distance,,,,,

Salty: and did you just misspell aND abbreviate???

Tree Queen: talk later. driving. I have to see someone xx

binch: owo, what the fuck was that about?

Salty: no idea

protec + attac: guess we’ll find out when she drives us back

6:23pm

Tree Queen >> Fawnd of U

Tree Queen: Hey Persephone! This is Jewel, just messaging so it’s easier to add me as a contact! :) 

Fawnd of U: Hey Jewel!!! Thanks for that I’ve added you now :3

Fawnd of U: hhhhhh I still can’t believe that we work at the same uni now. After you left I didn’t think I’d see you again, at least not for y e a r s, but here we are!!!!

Tree Queen: Same here!! I’m so glad you’re one of my fellow teachers, it’s definitely gonna make the job a whole lot more bearable now that you’re here.

Fawnd of U: fhojfhf I couldn’t ask for a better school honestly.

Fawnd of U: Hey,, I really missed you.

Tree Queen: I missed you too Percy <3

Fawnd of U: <<33

6:40pm

Is This a Family?

kama chameleon: So yeah anyways, that’s why I’m banned from Baskin Robin’s

Frosty the Snowbitch: Who even lets you go anywhere by yourself

kama chameleon: idfk listening to people is overrated

Tree Queen: Hey guys, I’m back!

protec + attac: Jewel!

Salty: Mum!!

Ghost Boi: M o t h e r

binch: Queen

Hot Head: Hey sis

kama chameleon: Hey man

Tree Queen: Hello!! When did Vesper get added?

Salty: just under an hour ago, they wanted to join in on the fun so I added them.

Salty: Hope that’s okay?

Tree Queen: Yes it’s fine, I enjoy their presence :3

kama chameleon: awh shucks Jewel

Frosty the Snowbitch: Though I’m starting to think they’re plaguing Oci’s mind

kama chameleon: I can neither confirm nor deny

Tree Queen: Actually, on the subject of adding people, I was wondering if I could add someone?

Salty: owo what’s this?

binch: who is it?

Tree Queen: She’s an old friend of mine

protec + attac: sure man, add her in, the more the merrier ig

Tree Queen: Awesome! I’ll add her now

Tree Queen has added Fawnd of U to the chat!

Tree Queen: Everyone, this is Persephone, please be nice!!

Fawnd of U: Hello!

Frosty the Snowbitch: Hey there.

Hot Head: Nice to meet you

Bird Brain: heyhey

Ghost Boi: g’day

kama chameleon: Sah

protec + attac: howdy

binch: Hi!!!

Salty: yee haw

protec + attac: oci what the funk

Salty: I panicked

Fawnd of U: WOW there’s a lot of you!

Tree Queen: Yeah, it’s essentially our ~family~ chat

Fawnd of U: I love it! Considering I know like n o n e of you, would you be able to say who you are, and maybe a little something about you? And I’m really curious about the reasoning behind the names, so that’d be cool too!

kama chameleon: sup, I’m Vesper, they/them, suffering uni student #3 and the reasoning behind my name is the fact that I’m a shapeshifter, so,,,, chameleon.

Hot Head: I’m Ruby, I’m Jewel’s sister, and I’m a fire elemental with a short temper, hence ‘Hot Head’

Frosty the Snowbitch: River, ice elemental, Oci’s big brother and childhood friend of Ruby’s

Ghost Boi: I’m Christian. I haven’t had a haircut for years. I have the power to phase through objects and float and am essentially a ghost.

Tree Queen: You already know me, but I’m Jewel, and I’m a nature elemental. I probably have more ‘pets’ than what would be considered normal.

binch: I’m Skyla, my friends call me Sketchy. I was originally named ‘High in the Sky’ in reference to being a ~half-angel~ but was changed because I started beef with Oci

Salty: Oceania, suffering uni student #2, was originally ‘Salty Tears’ bc I’m a water elemental and am always on the verge of tears, got changed bc I was fighting Justin

protec + attac: Justin, the resident cutie, and normal hooman (as far as I’m aware), suffering uni student #1. Originally ‘Cinnamon Roll” b4 Oci got jealous of me and my best bro (Christian) and we squared up

Salty: I hate u

protec + attac: and this is why your name is Salty

Fawnd of U: Wow you guys sound cool.

Bird Brain: eh we’re alright

Fawnd of U: Well, I’m Persephone. I am a teacher at the same university as Jewel and we’ve been friends since we were kids. I’m a cervitaur, so that’s the reason for my nickname.

protec + attac: whats a cervitaur?

Fawnd of U: it’s like a centaur but instead of a horse body, it’s a deer’s body

Salty: khaf’ioru that’s so cool

protec + attac: WAIT

protec + attac: whAT is your last name???

Fawnd of U: Uh, it’s Bell

protec + attac: akjsfhal;f

Salty: dskfuasfljhdhhahsdHOLY SHIT

binch: wtf is happening

Salty: You’re our cooking professor!!

Fawnd of U: Woah,, really???

protec + attac: Yeah!! We’re Justin Laurence (me) and Oceania Olson!

Salty: the ginger boy + the blue haired chick

Fawnd of U: Oh yeah!!!! You guys are cool!!

Salty: So are u!!!

Tree Queen: oh geez

binch: do you regret this already

Tree Queen: kinda whoops