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Home for the Holidays

Summary:

Mike Soup is alone on Christmas.

Notes:

This is for the wonderful people in this fandom.

Live-in-the-same-building AU.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Mike closed the microwave door and punched in the cook time.

As he watched the meal rotate he slipped into a space between focus and unfocus, where he didn't have to think. He almost missed the sound of someone knocking on the door of his apartment.

Maizey and Gebra from 4C stood in the hall. Both were wearing thick cableknit sweaters and holding a plate of food.

"Uh," said Mike.

Maizey scowled, determined. "We brought roast beef."

"And cookies."

"I wasn't expecting company."

"You don't have enough stuff to make the apartment messy," said Gebra. Maizey elbowed her. "Also, we have cookies."

Mike took the plates, because he didn't know what else to do, and let the women into the tiny apartment. It wasn't messy, it was true. It was just... Empty.

He looked down at the plates in the kitchenette. Odd, to eat just roast beef and cookies.

Knock, knock. Knock-knock, knock. Knock, knock.

Mike realized he'd been had when Gebra went to open the door for her brother and his bandmates - 5F.

Steven had a couple cases of soda and Melba brought over a bowl of sauerkraut.

It was the pickle ornament on her sweater (HIDE THE PICKLE, it declared in hot pink) and the egg nog (LET'S GET BLITZENED) on his that tipped him off.

He looked back at Maizey and Gebra. Maizey's winter sweater, Gebra's pomegranate sweater, and Gene's - SHUT UP AND PLANT A TREE. This was a plot.

Gene had an armful of something shiny when he walked in and he realized too late it was tinsel. Tinsel that was being draped carefully around his secondhand coffee table, the top of his TV, the window, and the back of the couch.

"That's the ugliest sweater I've ever seen," he told Melba.

She grinned. "Got it in Berrien Springs. We were in the parade. Lighten up, old man."

Dan and Rebecca (2B) came, bringing the baby, dinner rolls, and LED-lit sweaters. Pam from 5E brought the sight of a Krampus sweater and a suspicious box that turned out to be colorful string lights. Good. He wouldn't have eaten anything she brought.

Garce (5A) climbed in the window from the fire escape, and Gebra pulled an alarmingly bright blue snowflake-patterned sweater from Pam's box for him.

Yelling and swearing, Gebra had to run back down the hall to fetch more chairs, and while Steven and Melba and Dan helped her, Maizey took Gene's keys and went to find the paper plates and cups in his apartment, and Pam prodded at the TV until it played an episode of MASH.

"Oh, sweet, dude, I didn't know there was a marathon," Garce said.

"There's not," Mike muttered.

Pam grinned. "Mike Soup owns the entire series on VHS."

“Oh, VHS, retro,” Gebra said.

She abandoned a folding chair and vaulted herself over the back of the couch to settle in and watch.

Maizey returned with the disposable dishes and started making plates to a chorus of interjections and requests:

“If I see a single fucking strand of pickled cabbage anywhere near my food - “

“Sauerkraut is delicious, Steven.”

“Pickled cabbage?“

“Garce, you've never had sauerkraut? It's fermented cabbage.”

“It's an abomination, Melba.”

“Maizey likes it, don't you, babe? Oh, extra potatoes on my plate.”

“Maizey will eat anything.”

“It's good on hot dogs. Is there carrots in the roast?”

“Dan, you filthy New Yorker, sauerkraut doesn't belong on hot dogs.”

“Leave him alone, Pam.”

“Everyone shut up and watch the show,” Maizey ordered. She smiled a little as she piled food high on plates.

“You didn’t have to,” Mike started quietly. “And - you don’t even like Christmas.”

“No. I was happy to get away from it, marrying Gebra. But for you - you’ll be sad if you’re left alone on Christmas. Dan and Rebecca don’t have much extended family close enough for a visit, except Pam--”

“Yes, why is Pam in my apartment?”

“Rebecca asked if Pam would be invited. I think she wanted to spend time with her sister and just needed a buffer.” She glanced at him. “You can kick her out, if you want.”

He considered this. But. "It's Christmas," he sighed.

"Sucker," she told him. She started loading up plates to take over to the assembled guests, and Mike pushed himself off the counter.

"Who wants what to drink?"

Gebra glanced away from the screen. "Oh, we're waiting on ice."

Mike frowned. "Half the building is here."

"Last guest doesn't live in the building."

"Who—"

Someone knocked on the door, as if summoned.

"Get the door, Mike," said Maizey.

Mike gave her a suspicious look.

"Open the door," she repeated. "And roll back the paranoia."

"To be fair, we really were out to get him this time," Gebra said.

Maizey rolled her eyes. "Out to get him gifts."

Mike didn't hear the rest of the good-natured argument. He was busy staring at the last guest.

Escorted by Smeech, who bounded past with a bag of ice almost as tall as him, Ernie fuckin' Goondis stood there, shuffling his feet.

He would have to figure out how Maizey got Ernie's full name, let alone how to contact him, and what she said to make him come here, and how much she spent just trying to make sure he wasn't alone on Christmas.

But.

That could wait for after Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Ernie," he said.

The smile he got in reply was blinding.


Crammed onto the couch and folding chairs and his two dining chairs, Mike hosted what he had to imagine was the first ugly holiday sweater themed surprise Christmas party planned by a Jewish lesbian couple – for a certain value of hosting.

Mostly it involved letting people use his TV, and a brief toast to hoping Mr. Pope, the landlord, alias the Dark Master, would fuck off and die.

Smeech stayed for about an hour before announcing he had other social engagements.

"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?" Gebra asked.

"That's what it says on his Grindr," Melba said. "Down to socially engage."

Before Joblet got home from work, they helped Garce reach the ladder and Mike tolk him to text if he wanted to sneak out through Mike's place again.

Dan and Rebecca had to go home to put the baby to bed. Pam hovered for a little while, and then made an excuse to leave, and Mike found himself saying they should have dinner with him sometimes. Maizey looked at him like he was insane.

"I don't know, I panicked," he said.

Gebra laughed at him, without any edge.

The Risky Fixins ducked out to rehearse. "We make bank on New Years Eve gigs," Steven explained.

"And we have new songs!"

It was down to Maizey and Gebra with Mike and Goondis, and after another episode Gebra said, "Well, you know what they say, four's a crowd, and I don't like double dating."

"Double – what?"

"Gotta go!" Gebra said.

"Merry Christmas, Mike," Maizey told him.

The door closed with a resounding finality. He was alone in the apartment with Ernie.

"So," he said. "How've you been?"

Ernie rolled his eyes, draped his arm over Mike's shoulders, and settled in next to him on the couch. "I want to see how Hawkeye gets out of this one."

"Shouldn't we talk at some point?"

"We have all the time in the world to talk," Ernie said.

Mike didn't point out that they also had all the time in the world to watch MASH.

"Merry Christmas," he said.

But he was thinking about the New Year.

Notes:

I'm not gonna get emotional in the notes of this fanfic but... I love these funky animated clip art foodstuffs, and I love this fandom.

As for the sweaters: Gene and Gebra are wearing Tu BiShvat sweaters cos Chanukah has passed, and I don't know if the others' sweaters exist but Pam's and theirs DO EXIST and i love it.