Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I'm Harry Styles. I'm uh - I'm eighteen. I work in a bakery," he says shakily in to the mic, swallowing so loud that he fears everyone in the arena can hear him.

They don't. There's a round of clapping at his introduction, and then the place proceeds to quiet down. 

Harry, he's nervous. It's his first time being up on stage like this, in front of judges and a huge audience. He didn't really know what to expect or how to prepare for something like this. A single spotlight shines down on him and lines the top of his lip with sweat. The gray cardigan he chose this morning seemed like a proper choice being in front of judges, but now it's fucking hot. So hot that it's nearly sticking to his sweaty skin. Curls are actually tamed, for once - framing his face in a nice little cocoon. There's only a few blemishes on his skin, but it wasn't anything Gemma couldn't hide with makeup. 

Simon is sitting directly in front of him, and he's tapping a pen against the side of his head. He's staring directly at him, eyes scanning up and down the length of his lanky body. Harry swallows again, and the microphone is just about ready to slip from his hands when someone finally speaks to him. It felt like forever of him standing up there after his introduction. 

"Alright, then." It's Simon. "Let's hear what you have for us today." 

Harry nods his head and gets in to position. There's a mic stand off to the side, and he almost has the urge to rush over and get it. He briefly looks over at it, contemplating on if it's the right choice, and ends up catching sight of his boyfriend and family off stage. Louis seems to know what he's thinking and subtly shakes his head no. Always so in tuned with what's going on in Harry's mind. The mic stand is just a distraction, a tool for Harry to remain in his shell. The whole point of the competition is to push his boundaries, to free this musical side of him and not hold anything back. With a microphone in his hand, he's able to be free, not restricted. 

They've practice many times without a mic stand. Louis knows it's just a case of nerves that are finally rising to surface in Harry. 

Louis motions for Harry to take a big breath, always being the best supporter. Harry does as told and looks at the audience again. It's silent, save for a couple people who cough to fill the void. Counting in his head to three, Harry finally raises the microphone to his mouth and belts out the first lyric to the song, no instruments to follow. All rawness and purely his voice. 

"Isn't she lovely?

Isn't she wonderful?"

As his voice echoes across the entire room, everyone in the audience jumps to their feet and cheers. Even some of the judges chime in on the cheering. Simon remains in his seat, but there's a bright smile that stretches his lips. The positive reaction builds Harry's confidence, and his voice gets stronger as each verse passes. He's moving more freely on the stage, not remaining in stiff throughout the entirety of the song. 

Louis smiles widely as he watches from the side. It was his idea for Harry to sing without any music behind him. He knew Harry's voice was strong and had so much range. Often time the loudness of the instruments could mask the powerfulness of the vocals. If Louis were to close his eyes and focus on the beautiful sound of Harry's singing, he wold think he's listening to an angel. Someone with such a light and airy voice, able to nail a falsetto or drop to a nice bass. Everything about Harry is so wonderful and raw, and Louis couldn't be more proud of his boy singing up there.  

After Harry is finished singing, he receives two yes' from the judges to continue in the competition, one of them being Simon freaking Cowell. He's giddy as he jumps off the stage, hearing the roar of the audience behind him. Anne and Gemma reach him first, wrapping Harry in a big hug and spinning around in celebration. They're laughing and crying, showing off the shirts they made to support Harry's audition. Robin is next, pulling Harry in a side hug and kissing the top of his head. They all exchange their proudness and excitement with Harry before they know it's Louis' turn to do so.

It's so easy the way Harry always migrates to him. Like they're some kind of magnet to each other. Louis has his arms already open when Harry turns to him, a bright dimpled smile on his face as he laughs and jumps against his boyfriends chest. Louis' arms wrap tight around his waist, and he lifts his boyfriend in the air to properly spin him around in a circle, kissing his face and feeling Harry's laugh go straight to his heart.

"You did it, baby. I'm so proud of you." Setting Harry to his feet, Louis cups the side of his face, features softening now that the high is wearing off. They stand there together, arms wrapped around each other. Harry's smile is taking over his entire face, and it's Louis' favorite kind to look at. He smiles in return, having the urge to lean in and kiss Harry again, proper, this time.  

As they pull back, the tears have really surfaced on Harry. Chuckling, Louis begins wiping them away. 

"Thank you for being here with me," Harry ends up whispering, softly as he notes his family getting closer to them. "And for believing in me." 

"I'll always believe in you, love." 

Harry scrunches his nose up, in that cute adorable way he does any time Louis says something sweet. Just as the others join in on their moment, Louis shifts to Harry's side, allowing for Gemma to slide up on the other side of him. 

"This is the start to something great, sweetheart," Anne says proudly, wiping away the tears building up in the corner of her eyes. 

"I know. I can't wait." Harry turns to face Louis again, nibbling on his bottom lip as they lace their fingers together tightly. Louis blows him a kiss. 

And the thing is, Anne is right. Harry passing through the first round of the competition is the start to something great. To something new. 

Unfortunately, though, this would also be the start to the end of something. 

Chapter Text

3 Years Later

The rain falls rapidly down as the showers cover all of London. Which is typical. The water droplets pelt against the misty window to create a relaxing symphony for a lazy day. A nap day. That's how the past few Sunday's have been, truthfully. No complaints there. Best way to spend the day before heading back to work on a Monday.

Louis is slumped on the sofa in his sitting room, legs tossed up on the coffee table in front. The telly has reruns of Friends that he's watched for hours. At most, he's gotten up to piss, grab some food, and refill his drinks. Rainy days call for sitting on the couch all day. It's not like he has anything better to do. He should probably clean his place. The dishes in the sink are piling up. His laundry is overflowing. And, well, now his couch has popcorn everywhere. 

It's a good thing the maid comes on Tuesday's. 

Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, Louis relaxes further into the cushion of his sofa, his body sinking in. Weekends are meant for lazy days and Adidas joggers. Bonus points if it's raining outside. He has to spend most of the week on his feet and talking to a bunch of people in suits. So when he gets the chance to throw on loose clothes like this, he embraces it. On the weekends, he doesn't need to impress anyone or talk people's ear off. These are his days off. When he's off the clock. If he feels like digging his hands inside his pants to itch his balls, then so be it. He lives alone. 

Unfortunately, living alone doesn't always have its perks. Like when his friends want to randomly barge over unannounced. They do it all the time, and Louis should be used to it by now. They have a key to his place, for gods sake. They also have his phone number, and if they would just warn him ahead of time, then he wouldn't need to scramble every time to take his hands out his pants when they show up. Like now as they push the front door open to make a loud, grand entrance at their arrival to his flat. 

"Tommo, we're here." 

Louis rolls his eyes and angles his head around, seeing Niall smiling brightly with a six pack tucked under his arm. Liam and Zayn follow behind, and they all join him in the sitting room. 

"What are you lot doing here?" Louis questions, an eyebrow raising when he catches Zayn pulling something from the inside of his jacket. 

"Look at what we just got." 

Liam holds his breath, but Louis tries to ignore it as he grabs the envelop from Zayn's hands. Peeling off the seal, Louis opens it, face scrunching up in what almost seems like a soured look as he yanks out eight tickets from the inside. The expression only grows worse when he reads what the tickets are for. 

Harry Styles in Concert
Live at Wembley Stadium 

"No," he says immediately, tossing the tickets on the coffee table. 

"I'll go open the beer," Niall mutters under his breath, standing up from the couch and disappearing in to the kitchen with the six pack he brought in. 

"I told you he would say no," Liam then says, shaking his head. 

Zayn sighs dramatically as he grabs the tickets. "Why not, Lou? It will be fun to go." 

Louis laughs bitterly, the built up tension of the last three years now taking over his body. The heart break is still there, so prominent and strong. His heart aches for the boy he fell in love with. To hear his laughter and feel his love again. But all of that is long gone. The knife that had been shoved deep in to Louis' chest is still there. Still as painful as it was when Harry wedged it through his heart three years ago. 

"Come on, Louis. Think about it," Liam begs, getting this puppy dog look on his face. Louis grimaces because, nice try. Only a pair of green eyes can successfully give him the puppy dog look. Louis will not be convinced on this. "Harry personally sent these to us." 

"They'll be ace seats," Zayn adds quickly, like it'll be the one thing to convince him. Yeah right. 

Louis doesn't care.

Nothing about him cares what Harry had sent or didn't send in the last three years. He's the one who left behind everyone. Never once thinking to call or text. Not even sending a postcard once. It's been three years since Louis last heard from him - since he last seen the boy. Since any of the lads have, and Harry thinks concert tickets are the best way to announce his return? Where's the phone call for that? Harry didn't even say good bye to him when he left. The morning Louis found out that Harry took the tour and left, his entire world crumbled. 

The tour was something Louis wanted for him. They talked about this. Their dream. It was always something they were on the same page about. So when Harry left without saying anything, Louis was confused. He felt hurt and betrayed. It wasn't like he did anything to hold the boy back. He's the one who fucking got Harry the audition in the first place. He always supported him. Always saw him as a star. Louis didn't think that when the offer came, Harry would quickly drop everybody from his old life and trade it all in for the fame and the fortune. 

So, no. The concert is a fucking lame excuse for a reunion. Louis is still bitter about him leaving. He's heart broken and pissed, and the last thing he wants to do is watch Harry sing on a stage. 

"I don't care what that sodding idiot sent us," Louis snaps, voice harsh and cold. Liam flinches at the tone of his voice, and Zayn furrows his brows together, a bit stunned at the sharpness of his words. "Why the hell would I want to go watch him perform?"

"He's our friend, Lou," Liam answers. 

"And you're still in love with him," Zayn states matter of factly. 

Louis scoffs, arms crossing over his chest. He focuses back to the telly where he was once peacefully watching his show. He wishes he could go back to when he was alone.

"Come on." Liam stands from the sofa and sits down on the spot next to Louis, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's his last gig before he's on break." 

Louis puffs out a breath through his lips. "I'm not bloody going. I have no desire to. Why on earth do you lads want to?" 

"He's our best mate, Lou," Niall says as he exits the kitchen, two beers in each hand. "I can't lie and say I don't miss him because I do." He sits down next to Zayn and passes the beer around. 

Louis rolls his eyes but accepts the beer. He takes a big swig from it. 

"It's been three years," Zayn reminds, like Louis doesn't already fucking know it. He does. He is very well aware how long it's been since Harry left him. 

"He wants us all to be there, you know?" Liam mentions softly. He removes his hand from Louis' shoulder and splays it on the back of the couch. "He was pretty fucking excited when we told him we would come. S' like talking to the Harry from before." 

Louis' entire face scrunches up, and he pulls slightly aware from him. "When did you talk to him?" 

"E-mail," Niall answers. "Says he gets a new phone all the time so it's better to talk to him that way." 

"Pretentious wanker," Louis mutters as he sips his beer. 

Zayn lifts an eyebrow, watching Louis carefully. "He asked if you would come." 

Ridiculous. A fucking joke. 

It's been three fucking years. Three years since the last time they properly talked, and Harry just expects Louis to show up to his concert? To act like everything that happened between them never did? Louis cant do that. Simply thinking about seeing the boy again is already tugging at his heart strings. Seeing Harry on stage is just a reminder that he chose this life over him. The life of a being a famous singer, the life where his past meant nothing to him. That his boyfriend meant nothing to him. It's a cold hearted reminder, and even though it's been years since everything ended, it all still hurts the same.

Louis never got a reason why. Never got a goodbye. He can't pretend that he's over it when there's so many things left unsaid. 

They were so young. So in love. Louis saw the world for Harry. He saw the world for their relationship. There were many things he had doubts of at the time, but Harry was not one of them. He always pictured his boy going off and doing great things. Always knew that he would become an amazing artist. And he has. Louis has kept tabs on Harry's fame throughout the past couple years. He's created some top hots, beautifully written lyrics that won him awards. The only problem with the whole thing is that Louis always thought he would be there next to him. Right by his side as he achieved his goal. Never thought he would be miles away. 

The Harry he sees now is not the Harry he once fell in love with. All wild curls, deep dimples, and goofy smiles. He was just a boy when they first kissed, when they whispered I love you's underneath the sheets. Harry hadn't even grown into his legs at the time, constantly tripping over his feet and stumbling his way like the silly boy that he was. He made lame jokes that only Louis would laugh to, and he always needed Louis' attention on him. They were inseparable.

Now, Harry is unrecognizable. All rockstar and rich. Pristine in fancy clothing. Sex appeal surrounding his image. It's sickening the amount of women that have been linked to him since rising out of the X-Factor. Nothing like the Harry he grew up with. 

"Z, I'm not going," Louis states again, more finality to his voice. He stands from the couch and brings the beer with him over towards the window, glancing out at the busy street below. It's still raining out, and somehow the weather fits the mood that he's feeling. Gloomy, and just sad for himself. 

"We're all going, mate," Zayn responds. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders and sips his beer. There's a couple of joggers on the pavement down below, and Louis chuckles under his breath when they rush to find cover from the rain. 

"Sophia. Perrie. Hailee. Eight tickets," he continues. "It's everyone." 

A troubled furrow makes its way to Louis' brows. "Why are they going?" 

"Because, Louis. It's going to be fun for all of us to get together again. It's been ages, " Niall says hopefully, like he expects Louis to give in at any moment. He doesnt, just hums thoughtfully and continues to drink his beer. Niall sighs defeatedly and glances to Liam for help. 

"There's an extra ticket for you, too," he ends up blurting out, making a face when Zayn nearly snaps his neck in his direction. Niall bites his lip nervously. 

At that, Louis finally looks at them, interest peaking. "Really?" 

"Y-yeah." Liam clears his throat. "I mean, we all have a plus one, I suppose. He gave an extra incase you had one, too." 

Zayn shakes his head, already having a feeling on what's stirring in Louis' mind. 

"I don't have a plus one." Louis steps away from the window, walking in front of the television, mindlessly pacing. "He doesn't know that though, does he?" 

Liam opens his mouth to answer, but all that comes out is an unsteady breath. Louis grins wickedly. 

"This can work then." 

Zayn frowns. "What can work?" 

"The extra ticket," Louis states confidently. His expression has completely changed to something of scheming and mischievous. Zayn notices it almost immediately, and Liam looks like he regrets bringing up the amount of tickets in the first place. Louis walks over to the couches and plops back down next to him, arm loosely wrapping around his shoulder as he glances over at Zayn and Niall. "I'll go then." 

"Really?" Niall cheers.

Zayn, however, makes a face, unsure of where this is going. 

"Oh yeah," Louis agrees, nodding his head. "And I'll find someone to occupy that extra ticket, too. Should be fun."

"Louis," Zayn warns, tone scolding.

Louis brushes him off, smiling cheekily. "Don't worry, Zayn. I'll make sure Harry knows that I'm very happy without him. Thank you for the invite you curly-headed cunt." 

///

Louis sits anxiously at the desk, pen tapping against the top of the mahogany wood. It's the only sound that fills the room, aside from the shaky way he's breathing. There's a bunch of files loaded up on his desk for him to sort through, but his mind is miles away from the work he needs to do. Staring blankly ahead, he focuses on his glass of water, watching the condensation circle the rim and forming droplets that roll down. He follows each one until they create a puddle on top of his desk, probably staining the wood in a we ring. He's been told before that he needs coasters for his office, but he's been too arsed to do anything about it. 

Today, Harry arrives home, which explains the nerves building up inside of Louis right now. The countdown is on to when they finally see each other again, and he is both dreadful and hesitant towards it. He thought he had until the concert at the end of the week to prepare for seeing his ex-boyfriend again, but that's not the case. A lot of hatred and resentment has built up in the three years that passed since they last spoke, and Louis is not sure he's ready to come to face with it all. Especially not sooner than expected. 

Because of course the universe is not on his side. When news broke out that Harry is arriving home days before his final show, everyone started planning out the events of the week. And that included Louis participating as well, despite all the complaints he provided. His friends are excited to see Harry again, clearly not as bitter nor holding a grudge like Louis still is. The three years of silence and being completely abandoned don't seem to weigh so heavy on them. And like, that's fine. Whatever. Louis is sure that if he wasn't in love with the boy that he would get over it quick too. But that's not the case.

This is Harry, his ex boyfriend. His ex-lover. It's ridiculous that none of his friends have even stopped to consider how this reunion will be for him. He's the one who got left behind. He can't even fathom how this whole interaction is going to go down. They're either going to fight or not speak to each other at all. No in between. Louis can't see an in between because an in between means being friendly, acting like nothing happened, and he can't do that. Not when he was left with a broken heart for months. 

Day one in town, and Louis is being dragged to a "Welcome Home" party hosted by Anne, Harry's mother. It's why his anxiety is at an all time high today. Why he can't get any work done. She thought it would be fun to have a get-together with all his childhood friends and be there when he arrives home for the first time in three years. Ideally, sounds like a fun surprise. Surely, Harry would enjoy getting to see his old friends and feel that sense of normalcy. But, why did Louis have to get invited? He's a part of the past that Harry clearly wants to forget, and being there just makes him feel like a fool.

Anne is sweet, and she's such a lovely woman. All the reason why Louis couldn't decline the offer in the first place, but this is not a good idea. Two exes in the same room after having an ambiguous break up can only lead to drama. She means well. Louis knows she does. And it has been three years. Maybe Anne is under a different impression on how things ended between the two of them. For all Louis' knows, she could think that everyone is on good terms - that they've been in contact this whole time since Harry left. Could be the reason why she invited Louis in the first place. She doesn't know the truth. 

After spending a decent amount of time watching the water ruin the wood of the desk, Louis decides he needs to move. Or do something. Sitting and staring up until the point he needs to leave will only increase all the doubt running through his mind. He needs a distraction. Something that can draw his mind away to this inevitable reunion with his ex-boyfriend, but not anything that has to do with work. Work is the least of his worries at the moment. 

Sighing, Louis turns around in his chair, rolling towards the window behind him. Up on the twentieth floor of the building, he has a fairly decent view of the city. It's why he requested this specific office. Working at a record label has its perks. One of them being in the top floors of the complex. All the tall office buildings surround his line of sight, and they always light up bright when night time falls. The big motor way is up ahead, and sometimes Louis will spend his work breaks just watching the cars that fly by. On an occasion, he'll catch an accident or a cop pulling someone over. It's his entertainment come lunch time.

Then there's the park that's right in front of the building. All greenery and trees. A little pond off to the side that people go fish at. It's a nice view to look at, especially when there are festivals and events that are held at the park. He loves watching the little children playing on the swing set or chasing one another through the fields. In all the three years of trying to get over the hole that Harry left in his heart, he can say that he has done pretty well for himself - career wise. Given that he's working for one of the best record labels in London and has a big office with a nice view of the city. He's done good. Worked hard and never slacked off. Supposedly, he can thank Harry for that. Broken heart leading to his success. 

Louis' step father Mark was a big help to get his career started, too. He's always been a businessman, having a footing in the music industry with being a contract lawyer. When Louis started to dive in to music, he expressed his interest to his step father. He loved writing songs and producing solid tune, enjoyed the craft of putting together a song. Being a band helped a lot with his passion. He wrote all his songs and keyed in on how he wanted the sound to go. Performing had been fun, always gave him a burst of adrenaline that he never felt before. But it wasn't his favorite. He cared more about directing and producing rather than being the one on stage. That was always Harry's thing. 

So Mark helped him. He got Louis an internship position at London Records at just sixteen years old, an opportunity that allowed Louis to build up his skill as a song writer and record producer. He didn't do much other than file paperwork and sort the mail, but he did get the chance to watch some of the big name producers work in the office. Just being in the atmosphere was amazing and life changing. He's seen many artist come through that started as a small band that has now worked their way up to topping the charts. Louis feels like he grew up with them, and now, he holds an actual position there. He completed his university courses online. Completed music production school to enhance his ability of becoming a top record producer, and now he gets to sign his name on some of the songs that are released under the label, work directly with signed artists, and discover up and coming acts.

It's the dream. Or, rather, it's the start to his dream. Mark was a big help in getting Louis this opportunity, but now it's all him. Everything he plans to achieve here on out all starts with his job at London Records. 

It's quite cliche, really. The mutual dream he and Harry once had together. Harry wanted to be an artist, a performer on the stage. He's always been the one better at singing and putting on a show. His voice is amazing, the range that he has to go from high to low is exquisite. Louis cannot deny the talent that the boy has. He, on the other hand, always wanted to do the behind the scenes sort of work. He wanted to create artist and help them win awards, help them win Grammy's. He would be the record producer, the CEO of his own label company, and Harry would be his top selling artist. It was their plan. They wanted this dream together. 

However, the dream was partially put on a hiatus when Harry chose to achieve the dream on his own. Without Louis. Choosing his own label company to produce his records. That wasn't the path they originally talked about. 

But now Louis is here. Working at London Records. Steps away from creating his own small label. A start to his dream. Even though he won't start off signing big artist to his label, he knows he'll get a few. That's why he's doing as much as he can at London Records so his name spreads around.

When he's off at bars and local shows, he makes sure to slip performers his information as well. So they know his goal is to focus on smaller acts and working them up to becoming well-known artists. He's already got the foundation for a future office building and studio. Now, it's a matter of time when he wants to break free from his current employment. 

In the midst of all his thinking, the phone on the desk chimes loudly. The sudden noise has Louis jolting in his seat, immediately turning around to see the red light flashing, an indication that he's getting a call from the reception. 

"Hello, Gigi," he greets into the phone, rolling up to his desk and clicking his computer back to life. He wants to make it seem like he's been working, even if the lunch hour is now. 

Gigi is Zayn's girlfriend. She is currently in fashion school but works part time as a reception at London Records. It's nice to see a familiar face every day Louis comes in to work. 

"Niall is here. He has food," she announces. 

Okay. Seems like work will definitely be on hold for another hour then. 

"Let him in," Louis answers. 

Not seconds later, the door to his office is opening. Niall steps in with a bright smile and two to-go bags in each hand. He walks up to the desk and sets one bag in front of Louis. He keeps the other near him as he sits in the plush chair across the desk, and once he gets settled, he finally looks up at Louis'. The smile slips off his face almost immediately. 

"You look like shit." 

Louis snorts as he rummages through the bag, humming when he notes that it's sandwich and chips for lunch. Much better than the other days he has to provide food for himself. He does enjoy the random barge-ins from his friends whenever there is food involved. 

"Well, my ex-boyfriend is coming in to town today. Not the best occasion to celebrate."

"Right." Niall grabs a handful of chips and shoves them in to his mouth. "Is he still considered an ex even if it's been three years?" 

Louis raises an eyebrow, reclining in his seat, sandwich and chips rest on top the bag on his lap. Suit be dammed. "I would assume so, Ni. I haven't been with anyone since him." 

"You've dated." 

"Okay, and how successful has that been?" Louis rolls his eyes, chuckling. He takes a bite into his sandwich. 

"Fair point." Niall kicks his feet up on top the desk and resumes eating. Louis refrains from complaining about the shoe scuffs that will most likely be on the wood considering he let his drink puddle up water not too long before. He still has yet to clean that up. "Have you decided on who the extra ticket is going to?" 

Louis hums. 

He's definitely considered his options. It's not like there's many, but he knows quite a few people that he still remains in contact with and who Harry once had issues with whenever they were dating. Louis knows it's petty if he were to bring someone like that from their past to his concert, but he is not about making friends with the boy. If Harry can easily leave him behind and break his heart without a second thought, then Louis should be allowed to do the same. 

There's Stan. One of his really good friends. Aside from hanging out with the guys and Harry all the time, Louis did have Stan. They played footie together so they saw each other quite often. There was never any physical attraction or anything remotely close to a romantic relationship, but Harry would get jealous. He does so easily. Stan is bi, and he has a very flirty personality. Sometimes that rolled over to Louis, and Harry didn't like it at all. He was someone that put a strain between his relationship with Harry without ever purposely doing anything. Nothing ever happened, but Stan's just the type of person to flirt. Even to a wall. Louis' seen him do it drunk. Even has a video of it. 

Oli is another. Not even gay. Completely straight, which Louis had reminded Harry time and time again when they were dating. He gets so ridiculous whenever he's jealous. And at times, Louis always found it adorable. But when it was trying to complain about who Louis' friends were and who he got to hang out with outside their relationship, then it became a problem. He and Oli were very good friends, almost as good as he is with Niall, Liam or Zayn. They're that close. Except, the problem is that Harry wasn't close to him at all. Not even friends. It was a bitter hatred on Harry's end, and Louis would get quite annoyed when Harry would roll his eyes or mutter comments under his breath any time Louis wanted to hang out with him. 

Lastly, the ultimate pettiness would be to bring Luke. Hot Luke, or so what their friends called him. He actually was a problem in their relationship because he actually did have a crush on Louis. He always made it very well known, and he didn't care that Harry was his boyfriend. Sure, he and Luke were friends, as he was with everyone else. But he always sat too close. Touched him a little bit too much. Did things that were blurring the line between friends and flirting. This is the relationship that bothered Harry to the max, and he was never shy about bringing it up. Louis could understand this one, and he always reassured that nothing was ever going to happen between them. Not in a million years because he didn't find Luke attractive at all. Just had good weed. 

So, that's probably who he'll bring. 

"I was thinking Luke," Louis eventually answers. 

Niall cackles at the comment, and a frown spreads across Louis' features. 

"Why are you laughing? I was told to bring whoever I wanted." 

Niall shakes his head and tries to bury his knowing smirk into his sandwich. "Yeah, mate. But you're bringing someone Harry doesn't like at all." Instead of taking a bite, he lowers it from his lips, showing off the grin. "That only proves you still care about him." 

"I do not." 

"Please, you're so hung up on, Lou. And - it's fine, okay? Not judging. But you try to brush it aside, and I wish you wouldn't. It's been three years, mate, and you haven't moved on from him at all. Not even tired to." 

Louis rolls his eyes to the side, leg now bouncing. "That's not true." 

"What?" 

"I have tried to move on." 

So, admitting something like this at lunch, hours before his ex-boyfriend comes home, is not how he intended to bring the cat out the bag. Not like this. Actually, he didn't think he would ever bring it up to anyone considering it happened when he was absolutely plastered. Once. Maybe twice. 

"With who?" Niall nearly jolts from the seat. 

Louis tries not to grimace. "So ... " he clears his throat, still not looking at the boy. "You're going to judge me - " 

"Please, I've shagged worse probably." 

Louis groans. Niall is right. He's heard some of the stories.

"It was with Luke," he ends up blurting out, cringing when Niall actually does jump out his seat this time.

"No fucking way?" 

Louis tosses his sandwich on top his desk and leans forward, running his fingers through his hair. "I know. I know, okay?" Groaning, Louis pulls back rubbing his temples when a headache starts to present. Gosh, he really needs a tea right now. "We fooled around just a couple times. When we went out. I don't think we've even done anything in over a year or so. Nothing too serious. Like quickies and blow jobs. No actual sex. Swear." 

Niall calms down a little when he notes the defensive tone in his voice. "Mate, you don't need to convince me of anything. You're single, you know that?" 

Yes, he knows that. Of course he fucking does. Been single for three years instead of in a long term relationship with his boyfriend. Trust him, he knows very well that he is alone and easily forgettable. 

"Why did you come here?" Louis asks to change the subject. 

"I figured you needed a friend today." Niall waves his hand between them. "Considering you're about to see your ex-boyfriend for the first time in three years. Anne said we should get there between three to four."

"Right." Louis blows out a long breath. "Yeah, I'll be there. Just have to run this song by my girl band before I head out. Should only be a couple hours."  

"Im sure if you tell Anne - " 

"It's fine, Ni," Louis interrupts. The last thing he wants is his friends to start pitying him. He can only handle that coming from himself right now. Everyone else, he wants them to think he's fine. Okay, at least. Not still fucking heart broken and barely hanging on a thread. "I'll be on my best behavior." 

The two of them finish the rest of lunch together, and then they're going about the rest of their day. Louis has a recording session with a girl band signed to the label so he walks Niall out, waving at Gigi on the way and pressing the button. They part ways with a hug, Niall taking an elevator down while Louis takes his a couple floors up. All he has to complete for his work day is running over a new song with the band, which shouldn't be too long, and then he'll be done. All in time for when Anne wants everyone to come over. Sadly, Louis knows he won't have a good enough excuse to skip out on the planned events so he's going to have to suck it up. He can play nice. 

By the time Louis is finished, he notes he's right on track with everything. He's leaving the office while everyone else is probably arriving to Anne's house. There's a couple messages already from the lads checking in to make sure he's still showing up, and he doesn't feel arsed enough to actually answer. They'll know once he shows up. That should be a good enough answer. His nerves are already on over drive, and he really doesn't want to intensify it by talking to the guys. They'll somehow make it worse, Louis knows this. 

Driving through London is nice. Louis doesn't really get to leave downtown much since his office and apartment complex is located there. It's on a rare occasion when he gets to travel to the suburban area, visiting the neighborhoods. He still visits his childhood home every so often, but it's been more scarce as the years pass. It's been easier for his family to visit him, given that he's always swamped with work and being in the studio with artist. And, his childhood home is not too far from Harry's, and that's always been such a sore area for him to revisit. Every time he passes through the front gate of the neighborhood, he would think back to the time he and Harry would sneak out in the middle of the night and figure out how to bypass the guards without getting caught.  

Or the park. Gosh, the park holds so many memories. It's only a few streets down from their homes. The park is where they first kissed. Where they first whispered under the moonlight about how much they liked each other. It's also where their relationship sort of ended. These streets that he's driving down, Louis knows them all too well. Has walked down them, driven down them, all with Harry there by his side. 

When Louis approaches the neighborhood, he sees a swarm of fans outside the fences and gates. Security is out there trying to take control of the crowd, but the fans are screaming and holding up their signs for Harry Styles. It's quite ridiculous, Louis thinks as he drives by, staring at the way one girl is near crying on the ground. He's never seen anything like this. People so obsessed with a boy that was once his. Now, Harry seems to be everyone's - the worlds. A person he no longer recognizes. A point in time, no body even knew who Harry Styles was. He was Louis' little secret, kept private and tucked away from the reality of being famous. He's surely blasted in the star light now, having fans that are willing to follow him around and track where his childhood home is. 

Once navigating through the streets, Louis is finally pulling up along the kerb to Anne's home. He spots a few vehicles that he recognizes easily, and he knows he's probably the final guest to arrive. Taking a few minutes to himself, Louis remains in the car, steadying his breathing patterns and staring at the front door of the house. It's like he's expecting Harry to walk out at any moment, laughing and smiling, pretending like the last three years never happened. He wishes he could erase it all, erase the pain and heart break that still weighs heavy on him. But he can't. There's no telling how today will go or how Harry will look, but he's going to do his best. He'll do it for his friends, and he'll do it for Anne. He's always adored her. 

Louis finally walks up to the front door once the moment passes. The sooner he gets inside, the sooner all of this can be over. He hasn't seen Gemma since the break up, and he's a bit nervous for how that reunion will go. Gemma has always been a protective older sister to Harry, especially when she found out the two of them were dating. They had a good relationship in the past, but Gemma was never shy to bite her tongue or put Louis in his place when needed. They were only a year apart so Louis understood Gemma's protective side to her younger brother dating someone just as old as she is. 

The door opens not moments later to Louis' knocking, and he's suddenly hit with all the memories that he's ever shared inside this household. It looks the same. The wall paper. The smell. Even Anne. Beautiful as ever. Almost an exact replica to the boy he fell in love with. It's overwhelming in a sense, how familiar everything is. It's like walking into the past, just an eighteen year old boy coming over to hang out with his boyfriend. The last time Louis stood here, he was told Harry left for tour. The first time he stood here, he was only just a kid, looking for another little boy to play at the park with. 

"Louis!" 

Blinking, he focuses at Anne, not realizing that he's gone off in his own little world. He smiles sweetly, stepping inside the foyer and pulling her into a hug. It's been years since he got to hug her. He does miss it. 

"I'm happy you made it." Pulling back, Anne takes a good look at him, eyes brightening. "You look amazing." 

Louis blushes. "I could say the same. Still young as ever." 

"Oh, hush." Anne smiles and leads Louis towards the living room. "You're just in time. The group is about to get a game started. We still have a few minutes until he arrives." 

Louis nods his head and stops once entering the main room. All eyes turn towards him at his approach, and he tries not to let the awkwardness consume him. Gemma is the first pair of eyes he catches, and he quickly has to look away, too scared what emotion he might find. Stuffing his hands into his pants pockets, he walks closer, searching for an empty spot near the more friendly faces of his friends. They're all gathered on the couches around the coffee table, a deck of cards splayed out and platter of snacks. Liam and Sophia, Gigi and Zayn, and Niall and Hailee, all his and Harry's friends. All here to see the same boy that left them three years ago. 

Fuck. This is going to be a lot harder than Louis expected. 

The distraction of playing card games in the mean time is quite helpful. The tension that had built up between him and Gemma loosened, and now he's not so stiff when looking at her. They're laughing and having fun together, like any other time the group of them get together. Gemma easily slots herself back in to it all. She never really hung around them in the past, but any time they did something at this house, she wasn't shy to join. It's crazy how everything just slots back in to place, as if nothing had changed. As if they're the same people that they were three years ago. The only thing missing is Harry - goofy, curly headed Harry. His ex-boyfriend. Their best friend. Gemma's younger brother. 

It feels good to laugh and feel light with breathing, but Louis knows the inevitable is coming. The card game is temporary. Getting lost in the wins and losses, trash talking and acting as if it's just another day for them all wain weak when the door bell goes off. The echo of the ring is loud, and everyone halts in their spot when its heard. Gemma shoots up from the couch, and she walks over to join Anne and Robin as they exit the kitchen. The three disappear into the foyer, and then all eyes are shifting over to Louis, as if expecting some sort of dramatic reaction to come from him. 

He swallows. Chokes a little bit on his breath. Not entirely sure how he's supposed to react right now. He feels naked and bare, like the spotlight is now shining down on him. Harry is just steps away. His scent is already infiltrating the house - a mixture of vanilla and flowers, so earthy and sweet. Louis diverts his eyes to the ground, staring at the shoe that is bouncing underneath his leg. He thinks he hears someone talking to him, probably checkin in to see if he's fine. But no, that's not what he's listening to. 

What he hears is a deep grumble, a slow draw of a voice that he's all too familiar with. The voice gets closer and closer, and then there is a sea of people chattering. He's here. Harry. Right there in front of him. Louis can see his worn out boots in his line of vision, but he refuses to look up. Everything is just white noise all around, static and ringing in between his ears. 

Someone nudges his shoulder, and Louis' head suddenly jerks up. 

"Hey, guys. I missed you all so much." 

That's him. That's Harry speaking. Looking directly at him. 

Louis stays seated as everyone from the couch stands to properly greet him. Pulling him to a hug, kissing the side of his face. They all speak to Harry like they miss him, like all the hatred and bitterness they grew over the years didn't exist. It's a mask that had been put on, either for Louis or for Harry. At this point, he doesn't even know what of his friends is true and what is fake. He thought all of them despised Harry. Thought they could never forgive him for what he did. Yet, here they are. Laughing with him as if there is no resentment. 

After everyone gets their rounds of hugging Harry, his attention is back to Louis. The greenness of his eyes are so wide and bright, a bit hopeful and tired. He looks at Louis still like he hung the stars and the moon, like he's the only person he ever wants to look. It's an intense stare, one that used to bring on butterflies to Louis' stomach. Now it makes him feel nauseous. He has to look away. He finds Liam instead, and the boy is already mouthing at him to play nice. 

Fine. He can do that. Whatever. 

Louis looks up at Harry again and smiles weakly. 

"Hi, Lou," Harry says softly to him, fingers curling tight around his bag. 

And, well, Louis ends up not saying anything in response. The smile is the best he can do because he's pretty sure if he were to try and speak right now, all that would come out is a choked sob. 

It's been three years, and finally - finally Louis is hearing Harry's voice again as if it's the first time. 

///

Everything is slow as Louis stands from the couch, like he's in some sort of trance. He knew this moment would come where he'd see Harry again, but he underestimated how much it would genuinely affect him. There's a plethora of emotions running through him right now, and he's not sure which one to focus on. Everyone in the room falls silent when Harry's eyes lock on Louis'. The ultimate reunion of two exes after being separated for three years. It's a lot to take in. A lot to handle, and Louis is pretty sure his heart beat is the loudest thing in the room right now. 

Harry is different. Much different than what he expected. Louis assumed he would see all rockstar and sex appeal. Confident and arrogant, maybe even having some sort of starlight glow surrounding him. But that is not at all what he is seeing. Instead, there stands a boy, so fragile and small. Skinny and frail. The once vibrance of his green eyes now dulled with exhaustion, hanging on to the last bit of light that he has. What used to be a boy who constantly drew attention, now stands a man who shies away from all the eyes in the room. As if he simply wants to disappear. No confidence. Just weak and unsure, barely holding it together for the sake of the show.

The goofy - dorky boy is no longer there. All the smiles and dimpled laughter, just a mere thought in the past. The brightness that Harry once was is now clouded by a dimness, all fake smiles that don't reach his eyes and tired lines stretching his face. Harry's taller now. Much taller with long legs and a lean torso. His hair has grown out as wall, reaching to about chin length. Curly and messy, chestnut in color and framing the thin structure of his face. He used to have very voluminous and healthy hair. One of Louis' favorites things about him, aside from the lovely way he smelled. But now his hair is dry and thinner, like it's been falling out and this is what's left over. Maybe it's the stress. Maybe something is wrong. 

Harry's skin is different too. In the past, he struggled with acne on his face. But it was still so smooth and soft. Louis would think with all the travel Harry does, especially to the sunny parts in the world, he would have nice, golden skin. A warm glow that radiates off his body. Nope. He's just as pale as ever, peachy and milky white. And although he's out grown the acne phase, there is a red flush to various spots on his skin, rosy and irritated, like it's something he's been scratching raw. His knees cave in, a timid feature to his posture. Shoulders slouched, a type of uncertainty that lingers with him.

Everything about the Harry that Louis is seeing right now is not at all what he expected. He doesn't know if he feels relieved or worried at the moment. Because if looking at Harry is anything to go by, then clearly the last three years have not been good to him. 

"Alright," Niall's voice ends up cutting through. The tension in the room had grown so thick that his voice jolted nearly everyone. Louis broke eye contact first, smiling at Liam and Sophia who rejoin him on the couch again. "Let's continue the celebration then, shall we?" 

"I'll hook up some music," Zayn says, walking over to the speaker near the television. 

Gigi heads over to the couch as well and gets the games set up. Anne and Robin both whisper something privately to Harry and then walk towards the kitchen area, probably giving him the space to hang out with his friends for a bit. Gemma pats his back in almost a comforting sort of way, and Louis tries his best to keep his eyes on his friends instead of peaking over to the two of them. It's quite hard not to stare, especially with the shocking discovery of Harry's appearance. His eyes linger a bit longer than he intends, completely drowning out the rules that Liam is explaining about the new game they're about to start.  

Louis watches Harry all the way to the couch, the slow way he walks. He sits directly across from him, but he still hasn't noticed Louis' staring. Harry simply looks at their friends instead, a small smile pressing his lips as he listens to their conversation. Louis gets knocked out of his little trance when someone nudges his shoulder. He uses that as an excuse to finally look away, and in good timing because Harry's green eyes flash his way, as if he felt Louis' gaze on him. 

"You're staring." It's Zayn. 

"I am not." 

Zayn rolls his eyes and settles in the spot next to Louis on the couch. Gemma sits next to Harry, and the game on the table starts. Louis and Zayn keep quiet as the chatter drowns out their private talk. 

"Would you punch me if I say you're still in love with him?" 

Louis grimaces, eyeballing the others to make sure they're not listening in. They're not, too focused on the game. Harry glances their way every so often, but that probably has to do more with the fact that he and Zayn are sitting so close and whispering separate to their group. He tries to ignore it. 

"I do not." 

Zayn laughs and ends up dropping the conversation. 

Louis sits the first round of the game out considering he didn't listen to the instructions nor did he have the energy to play. He would rather watch, inspect how things are going. It's still weird sitting in this home as if everything is fine and normal. Even more weird when he looks up and sees Harry right there in front of him. Everything seems to fall back in to place as the game progresses, as if there is no built up resentment or bitterness from the past three years. Gigi and Sophia return to gushing over Harry, touching his curls and treating him as if he's one of them. The three of them used to always go on shopping sprees together, and they're already planning out the next time Harry is free so they can relive the old days together. 

Hailee laughs at Harry's jokes, even though Louis knows she hates them. She's said so, on multiple occasions that she's never found the boy funny. But she falls back in to the role so easily, as if she and Harry have no problems. The funny thing is that Hailee took his leave hard. Her and Harry always had a special bond, a good connection. She was his shoulder to lean on, and he was hers. They were best friends. The kind with the late night conversations and having someone to talk to about relationships. When Harry left, she was pissed and sad, a different type of heartbreak to what Louis felt but almost similar in a sense.

None of that seems to matter right now though. She's laughing at the jokes she hates. Hugging Harry tightly and inputting his current phone number in her contacts. It's all fake. 

Gemma is Gemma. The older sister. Making fun of her brother but clearly adoring him. She does her best to ignore Louis just as much as he tries to ignore her. They never settled anything after Harry left. It's been silence in their relationship. Gemma is the one who broke the news to Louis about Harry leaving for tour, and all he knew was that she wasn't happy with him. Bitter. Slightly cold towards him. There's resentment in her, probably due to her loyalty to Harry. But in the end, Louis doesn't know what he's done to deserve the cold shoulder. He was the boy who showed up to this house three years ago to find out that his boyfriend left him, if anything, Harry deserves the scolding looks. 

The worst is watching Liam, Niall and Zayn interact with him. Especially when the four of them spent weeks together upset about why Harry left. It's the first time they ever got together and just cried. Letting all their emotions out and not understanding what they did to push Harry away so abruptly. They've seen Louis break down because of it. Completely heartbroken and ridden to staying in his room for days without leaving. It's the worst Louis has ever been before, and they were they when he was at rock bottom. They know how badly it hurt him when Harry left. How devastated and broken he was. They were there. They witness it with him. Cried with him. The ultimate betrayal in Louis' mind is watching those same best friends talk to his ex-boyfriend like they're all still on good terms. 

Louis can only handle so much. He knew coming here was a bad idea.

It might be easy for their friends to brush aside the last three years of silence from Harry, but Louis cannot. He can't watch everyone act like Harry is still the same person with smiles on their faces. Someone shouldn't be allowed to leave for years without an explanation, or a goodbye, and then easily come back like everything is okay. It's unforgivable.

If Harry was able to leave so easily last time, what's to say he won't do it again? 

"I'll be right back," Louis suddenly says, interrupting the game and the laughter. Harry's eyes trail over towards him, but Louis' eyes are elsewhere, not focusing on anyone as he stands from the couch. "Need a drink." 

Quickly, Louis scurries off into the kitchen, feeling a moment of relief now that he's in a separate room from Harry. He hadn't realized how tensed he was until all the muscles in his body start to ease up. He only gets a moment of this freedom until he notices that Robin and Anne are also in the kitchen, having just walked in on their conversation about Harry's arrival. Louis stops awkwardly in the doorway and smiles when they turn to look at him. 

"Sorry. I was just - I came to get a drink." Louis walks over to the fridge and holds his breath, knowing very well that Anne is assessing him right now. She's always been very intuitive about everything, sometimes an instigator. 

"S' a lot, isn't it?" she ends up asking. 

Louis pulls a soda can out the fridge and pops it open, turning towards the counter and leaning up against it. "What is?" 

Anne smiles. "Having Harry back. I don't mean for it to be tough on you. I just thought - " 

"I know you mean well, Anne." Louis smiles just to prove he's not that mad about it. He knows why he was invited. It wasn't meant to be mean or hateful, not even to cause drama. She just did it because it's what's normal. When all their friends get together, Louis is always there with Harry. And, it's been three years. Clearly everyone is able to push past what happened. Maybe they are all expecting Louis to do the same. 

"Well, thank you for coming. It makes my heart happy seeing all of you together again." 

Louis nods his head as he sips his drink. 

"Let me go check on them." Anne stands from the table and kisses the top of Robin's head in passing. She disappears out the kitchen to go into the main room, leaving both Robin and Louis alone.

It's only a tad awkward. 

"Alright, boy," Robin speaks, eyebrows raised in a quizzical way. Louis drinks more soda, staring wide eyed at the wall ahead of him. "Be honest with me. How are you feeling? Need me to find a way to sneak you out of here?" 

Louis snorts. "I'm okay. Really. It's weird. Not sure how I'm supposed to feel. But it's all temporary, right?" 

"That's one way to look at it." Robin taps his fingers on the table. "It might be temporary, but it's still important." 

Louis blows a heavy sigh out and takes a seat at the table as well, wrapping his hand tightly around the soda can. "I wish I could be like the others. I want to be happy that he's here, but it's hard. He's my ex-boyfriend, you know? We were once in love. Talked about a future together, but it's like - all of that is gone now, and I'm here - as the ex. Not even an old friend." 

"Yeah, but the two of you were friends before dating. That part of your relationship can return, can it not?" 

Louis shrugs his shoulders.

Becoming friends with an ex didn't seem the most ideal. Especially not with how deep his and Harry's relationship was. They talked about marriage, kids, a future together. All the stuff people get to after being years together. They always had a special love, an epic romance. It was easy for them - falling in love and being together. Louis' love for Harry ran so deep, and he couldn't ever imagine himself having a normal relationship with the boy after everything they've been through.  

"I guess we'll have to see how this goes." 

Anne returns into the kitchen not a moment later, and Louis finishes the rest of his drink. He feels better after having the chance to step away and talk to someone outside of his friend group. Anne smiles on her way to the table, just as Louis is heading out the kitchen. There is shouting going on in the living room that Louis can hear from the hallway, and he knows it probably has to do with Niall trying to cheat his way to winning. 

The next few hours they all lounge around the couches. They continue to cycle through different games. Munch on different snacks and even break in to the beer that Anne had stocked in the fridge. Overall, they have a good time. Louis always enjoys spending time with his friends, and it's easy to forget that Harry is even there with how quiet and reserved he is. It's much different than before. He's typically a shy guy, but never around their friends. He used to be so vibrant and loud, trying to get Louis' attention and simply being goofy.

So it's odd seeing him so different. He just sits there and smiles, watching everyone like he's perfectly content to remain on the outside of the conversation. Gets a little weird when he's not clued in on the inside jokes and passing memories that he's not a part of. Louis watches each time something like that is brought up he glances down to his lap, frowning, looking regretful in a way. 

At some point throughout the festivities, Harry and Louis somehow drift away from the others. It was expected. Almost like the others were anticipating for it to happen and it was only a matter of time. They hadn't spoken much since gathering around the couches to play games. Haven't really looked at one another aside from the sneaky glances. But when Louis steps away again to use the restroom, he finds Harry waiting there in the hall, leaning up against the wall with a frightened look on his face. He starts off by mumbling nonsense and taking forever to get to the point. But when he gets there, Louis realizes that this is Harry's attempt to make amends. To make friendly. Like a truce, in a sense, trying to get the big conversation done and over with if they're about to spend all week together. 

Louis can play nice. As long as he's not the one initiating it.  

They have wondering eyes and ears around, so they sneak out the front door and take a walk outside in the neighborhood. Harry had said he wanted to talk, so Louis is going to let him. It's been three years of silence, and Louis deserves answers. If he gets them today, and they can finally put all the uncertainties of the past to rest, then maybe - maybe he'll survive the rest of the week. And maybe he and Harry can consider becoming friends. 

Let's see how the conversation goes and what sort of excuses Harry comes up with for breaking his heart so easily. 

"So," Harry says when they reach the end of the street.

It's been quiet since they walked out, and there's enough distance between the two of them on the pavement that another person could fit in between. The sun is beginning to set, and it cascades a warm glow across the streets of the neighborhood. It's very hard for Louis right now to not see how the orange sky reflects off Harry's skin.

One of their favorite things to do together was watch the sun set at the park. Harry always stared in wonderment at the sky, and Louis always stared at him. 

"How have you been?" Harry finishes the question. 

Louis furrows his brows together. Okay. Small talk. If that's how Harry wants to start this, then fine. 

"I've been good. Busy with work." 

"Oh." Harry stuffs his hands in his coat pocket. "Where do you work?" 

This feels weird. 

"London Records," Louis answers. He sees the park up ahead and wonders if that's where they're walking to. He hopes not. Park equals painful memories. 

"Music producer then?" 

"Not entirely. Working on it still." 

"Right." Harry begins to nibble on his bottom lip, and the tension between them grows. "That's cool though. I know how much you want to be a producer and work with artist. Must be - " 

"Alright - " Louis interrupts. He's over the small talk bull shit. He's ready to get down to business and talk about the important bits here. Small talk is for later. "Stop with the small talk. Let's get to it." 

They stop walking in the middle of the pavement, and Harry turns towards him, face scrunched up in confusion. 

"I'm - I'm sorry. I just wanted to catch up with you." His knees fold further inward, and any ounce of confidence that urged him to initiate this walk completely slips out of him. 

"Catch up? No. There's not catch up. Harry, you're the one who left. Without saying anything for the past three years. You don't just get a catch up from me." 

Harry blinks rapidly, like he's saving the tears that are forming. "Oh. Um. Right." 

Louis makes a face, anger slowly building up. "Is that why you wanted this walk, to catch up?" Harry swallows, but he doesn't properly answer. Just looks away. "That's bullshit, mate. If you want to catch up, then let's talk about how much you've changed since you left here. That's a pretty good way to start this." 

Harry's forehead creases together, a disgruntled look taking over. "What do you mean?" 

"Just fucking look at you, Harry!" 

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out except for a breathy gasp. Looking down, Harry glances at his body, all the insecurities flooding through him. He wraps his arms around his midline, scuffing his shoes closer together on the pavement. Green eyes flash with something that brings guilt upon Louis, and he almost wants to take back what he said. 

At the end of the day though, he's right. Harry's different now. He looks different. Acts different. It's a change to what Louis is used to. 

"Is something wrong with me?" Harry ends up asking, voice wavering so weakly. 

And well, that's a fucking punch to the chest. Harry's voice sounds so fragile, so scared. He glances down at his body again, and this time he looks absolutely disgusted with himself. Louis can't explain what he's even witnessing right now. 

"No," he ends up responding, sighing defeatedly. "Nothing is wrong with you, Harry," he continues to reassure. It pains him to complement Harry, but at this point, it seems like it's what the boy needs right now to not completely fall apart. Makes Louis wonder what things Harry is being told behind the scenes and what's causing him to perceive himself so poorly.

"You're bloody perfect, if anything." 

Harry digs his fingers into his back. "I'm not." 

"You are. That's the annoying thing." Louis crosses his arms over his chest. "You're so fucking beautiful and talented, and it pisses me off, okay? You piss me off. You left. You came back, and now you're living your dream. You're a new person. I just - I can't look at you anymore without being reminded of who you are now." 

A frown makes its way to Harry's lips, and he scratches his arm nervously. "I just wanted to start over. Be friends." 

Louis has to laugh. 

"Friends?" he mocks, shaking his head. "No way. I can't be friends with you. Not with what happened between us."

"Louis - "

"I have to go, Harry. This was a bad idea."

And then Louis is turning on his heel, walking back the way they just came and hopping in his car to go home. He can only handle so much of a reunion with Harry in one day. He'll try again another day. 

///

Life with Harry back in town is different. Unusual. Strange.

Louis expected to only see Harry whenever the concert took place. Figured they would meet with him after the show for a celebration or meet up with him beforehand. He's not too sure what was supposed to happen. Possibly back stage passes that he could attempt to skip out on. He's going to the show, that's about as much as he thought he was giving when he reluctantly agreed to going. But, well, things changed. The plans for the week changed. 

They had a welcome home celebration at Anne's house, and that went ... well, it went. Louis was the first to leave, a bit dramatically too after Harry's poor attempt at making conversation with him. Louis assumed after all the spiral of events for the evening, everyone would stopping with their attempts to have him be friendly.  But alas, that is not the case. It's seems like now, including him, they have plans with Harry every single day leading up to the concert, and Louis is expected to be there each time. His friends didn't even give him an opportunity to decline or find a lame excuse. They just assumed he would be there. Assumed he's fine to be around Harry like there's no resentment still lingering inside him. 

So the morning after Harry's arrival, Louis is getting a text from the lads. A message that's talking about having a barbecue at Liam's house and having a day where they all hang out together without Harry's parents in the other room. They want to drink properly together and have a night in with Harry. Kind of like old times. Except without having adult supervision. And Louis is terrible at saying no. He doesn't want to make his friends upset, and he doesn't want to make how he's feeling towards Harry a thing. The less their friends question and interrogate him about his relationship with Harry, the sooner he can get past all of it.

It's just one week. A few more days, and then he will never have to see Harry again. 

Pushing all his doubts to the side, Louis eventually heads over to Liam and Sophia's town home. He's about an hour late already, but it's probably best to limit the amount of time he and Harry are in the same room. With how their conversation ended yesterday, there's nothing left about their relationship that can work out in a friendly manner. Harry tried it. Louis brushed it off. And now they're on day two of being around each other. Louis wonders if there will be another attempt today. He's still annoyed that Harry only wanted to talk to catch up, not to explain why he left in the first place. That was his one shot for redemption in Louis' eyes, and he missed it. 

Louis knocks three times when he arrives. On his way over, he stopped at the local bakery to grab a carton of cupcakes. It was the only thing Sophia had asked him to bring since the food and drinks were already handled. He didn't think much of it as he got an assortment of different flavors. Since he showed up late to the party, it was the least he could do. Even if the local bakery so happened to be the same one Harry used to work at. He really didn't think that one through. Hopefully, no one makes a comment about it. It's really not a big deal. 

The door opens shortly after, and the welcoming smile on Louis' face slips off when Harry is the one who answers. 

"Hello," he says hesitantly, stomach churning. 

His luck seems to be wearing thin at this point. 

Harry smiles tightly, his attempt at being friendly and neutral. He pushes the door further open and steps aside for Louis to walk in. "Hi," he responds quietly. His eyes trail over to the carton in Louis' hands. "You brought cupcakes?" 

"Sophia asked me to grab them." Louis steps inside and continues to walk through the house, leaving Harry behind at the front door. It's a tad rude, not attempting to greet him and be welcoming. But, they're exes. Louis doesn't know anyone who wants to act friendly to someone who broke their heart. 

Gigi, Hailee and Sophia are in the living room when Louis rounds the hallway. They're gathered around the couches with wine and a cheese board on the coffee table. Their laughter silences when they take note of Louis' arrival, and all eyes fall over to him. Louis smiles tightly as he raises the carton of cupcakes in his hands, and Sophia stands from the couch to grab them from him. 

"How nice of you to show," Gigi comments, raising her wine glass. 

Louis rolls her eyes and greets Sophia with a kiss to the cheek. He then hands her the carton of cupcakes. "I'm not that late." 

"Almost two hours," Hailee notes, chuckling. "Show up right when the food is almost done." 

"The guys are outside with Liam," Sophia notes. "He's finishing up on the grill. I'll take the cupcakes." She grabs the cupcakes and disappears into the kitchen to set them alongside the rest of the food. Harry arrives into the living room shortly after and awkwardly glances Louis' way. The burning gaze of his green eyes makes Louis fidget in his spot. He slowly starts heading towards the patio doors as his excuse to keep his distance from Harry. He worries that the longer the two of them stand next to each other, the more Harry will try to talk to him. He doesn't even chance a glance behind him as he slams the door shut upon stepping outside into the fresh air.

All he needs to survive now is the dinner. Sitting at the dining table is what Louis dreads. Harry will be right there. Not so easily avoidable, and he's quite concerned with how this evening will go without having Anne or Gemma right around the corner listening. With just their friends, there could be a whirlwind of possibilities on how the rest of the day will go.  

Liam is at the grill when Louis walks out the back patio doors. Zayn is reclined on the lounger, sipping his drink, and Niall is hovering over Liam's shoulder while he flips the meat that is cooking. Louis shakes his head as he joins the two of them, grabbing a beer from the patio fridge on his way over. 

"What's going on over here?" 

"Niall thinks if he stares, the meat will cook faster," Liam responds. 

Niall flushes red and glances over at Louis, stepping back a little. "I'm hungry, okay? Liam pushed off cooking because of you." 

"Because of me?" Louis gulps his beer. "What the bloody hell did I do?" 

"Showed up late," Zayn calls from his spot, lowering the glasses over his nose to look at him. 

"I was busy," Louis responds helplessly. 

"More like avoiding," Zayn grumbles in to the next sip of his drink. 

"Hey, I'm here. Aren't I?" 

"Yes," Liam huffs, turning his head to both sides. "You both are. Give me some space." 

Niall groans, but he listens, walking over to Zayn and taking an open lounger to sit on. Louis follows behind. 

They lounge around outside for the next half hour while all the food finishes up cooking. The girls remain inside, along with Harry, and every so often Louis can see them moving around from the living room to the kitchen. He tries not to glance over too much on the off chance Harry looks his way as well. Things are still weird and tense between them, and until there is some silver lining about the dynamics of their relationship, then Louis is not putting in any effort towards the boy. 

Once all the food is done, Liam platters the meat from the grill and leads the way inside. Louis follows him in, and Niall and Zayn head off towards the dining room to get things ready on the table. Gigi and Hailee are bringing in food from the kitchen as Sophia pulls items from the oven and the fridge. It's a big cycle of everyone getting the food and plates ready, and Louis does his best not to get in the way. He's on drink duty, which is an easy enough task for him. Harry is mending the rolls at the oven that still need a few minutes to cook, and Louis leaves him alone in the kitchen as he brings two bottles of wine to the table. 

Everyone has already taken their seats when he walks in, and Louis should have known how this would play out. Dinner was the biggest thing he was worried about. Because dinner meant sitting around the table with Harry. Being in the same room as Harry. And having small talk with Harry and their friends. What he didn't think to worry about is where they would sit in relation to each other. He figured on opposite ends of the table, where Louis can't directly see him. That was his ideal plan. But he's late, and there's only two open spots left, and lovely enough, they're right next to each other. Although it's not directly across, it's still side by side, where their arms and legs could possibly touch. 

Louis groans as he takes a seat, setting the bottles of wine on the table and quickly topping off his glass. This is about to be a long dinner. 

"Harry is finishing up with the dinner rolls, and then we can eat," Sophia announces, setting the napkin on her lap. 

Gigi pours herself a glass of wine and looks over at Louis. "So, Lou. Did you find someone to take the extra ticket?" 

"Would hate for you to go alone," Hailee follows up with. 

Niall makes a face, grunting under his breath. "He sure has." 

Louis kicks his shin under the table. 

"Who is it?" Gigi asks, and all eyes suddenly turn to Louis for an answer. He blinks owlishly. 

"Oh, just an old friend." 

"An old friend?" Sophia pipes, wiggling her eyebrows. Zayn already looks wary. 

"Who's the old friend?" he ends up asking. 

Louis sips his wine. "Luke," he answers slowly. 

Zayn tuts, and Liam shakes his head. Niall glances down to his lap, and all the girls gasp in excitement. There's too many mixed emotions about it, and Louis just keeps drinking his wine. 

"Luke, as in - Hot Luke?" Gigi questions, a growing smile on her face. "Man, I haven't seen him in years." 

Sophia coos, clearly ignoring all the disapproving looks from the guys. Louis tries to ignore it too. "He always had a thing for you. So cute. Have you two kept in touch?" 

Niall snorts into his glass of wine, commenting quietly, "They've done plenty of touching." 

"Niall!" Louis grits, kicking his shin again. 

The sound of a platter clashing to the ground interrupts the conversation, and Louis feels his heart sinking to his chest. Turning around, he sees Harry in the door way, breathing heavily as he looks down at the platter of rolls scattered across the wood flooring. He can hear Niall cursing under his breath, can feel Zayn's inquiring gaze on him. Liam's holding his breath, and the girls are completely oblivious to everything that just happened. Harry heard him. He heard the conversation, and now he knows that Louis and Luke had a thing at some point within the three years that they've been broken up. 

And it shouldn't matter. Louis was single. He knows he was single when it happened.

But it was with Luke.

The guy who did drive a wedge in between their relationship. The biggest threat to Harry's insecurities. It's got to not feel good hearing it so abruptly the way Harry just did. It's not really something Louis intended to bring up or tell him. He might have wanted to bring Luke with him to the concert, but he only wanted to do that just to make Harry mad. To rile him up and make him feel just an ounce of hurt that Louis has felt all these years. Having everyone know about his secret hook up with Luke was definitely not one of his intentions.

But the big reveal just happened. Accidentally, and now Harry knows Louis hadn't been so celibate within their years apart. It's kind of like their past issues are coming to surface with the way Harry looks so betrayed right now. As if everything he once worried and stressed about had some sort of truth to it. 

Louis feels a tad guilty, and he chugs down the rest of the wine to avoid confrontation. 

"I-I'm sorry," Harry eventually speaks, voice cutting through the tensed silence. 

"It's okay, H." Sophia stands from the chair and walks over to him, helping pick up all the rolls on the floor. "I'm telling you, Liam drops shit all the time. He thinks it'll be a good enough excuse to get a dog." 

Harry smiles weakly, an attempt to brush aside his accident, but it fades away quick. 

"Hey. Dogs eat all the scraps we drop," Liam reasons. 

Attention diverts off Harry, and Louis can breathe a little better because of it. He doesn't know why he held his breath when the spot line suddenly shun down on him. All he did was drop the rolls to the ground. Maybe it really was an accident. Who knows if he even heard the snide comment from Niall. He didn't say it that loudly. 

... Well, maybe he did. Given the looks coming from Zayn and Liam, more than likely everyone heard him. 

Once all the soiled rolls get on the platter, Sophia drops them off in the kitchen. She returns to the table and takes her seat next to Liam, and Harry slowly makes his way to the open spot next to Louis. The air is still thick, and there is a growing tension that makes things feel awkward. Niall tries to lighten it up by talking about the dog, and then it leads into other conversations that stray away from the sudden mention of Louis and Luke's hook up. Louis stays quiet as he fills his plate with food, keeping his eyes down and not drawing attention his way. His words so far have only caused problems and further complications with Harry, so he plans not to talk anymore for the evening. 

Harry doesn't do much but sit in his chair, hands folded tightly on his lap. He only gets a few things set on his plate, a tiny piece of chicken and little bit of the sides. It's definitely not near as much as what other's are grabbing, and Louis can't help but to take notice of it. He doesn't drink his wine. He barely nibbles on his food, and he doesn't engage in any of the conversation. It's like he's zoned out, not actually here with them in the room. At least Louis is somewhat actively listening, laughing when someone says something funny. Harry does nothing other than look at his lap and remain quiet. 

He's upset. Louis knows that he's upset. This is what Harry does. He pulls himself away. Caves in on his body, tries to appear smaller than he is, and just blocks out everyone. Bottles everything up inside of him. Louis watches it all happen right there before his eyes, and he knows he's to blame. In spite of wanting to hurt Harry and get back at him for leaving, it's still hard for Louis to do. Harry's just so sweet and kind, soft and gentle. Nothing about that has changed over the years. If anything, he's more fragile than before. On the verge of breaking. It's been only two days since he's back in town, and Louis has already witnessed Harry barely keeping himself together.

It's hard to be vindictive to a person that breaks so easily.

The dinner goes about smoothly. As smooth as it can get. The conversation is enough of a distraction to stray away from the big elephant in the room, and Louis is thankful for it. They eat their food, talk about nonsense, and finish both bottles of wine. At the end, Harry joins Sophia in the kitchen to help her clean some of the dishes. Gigi and Hailee head in there as well, joining in on the cleaning crew while the others walk in to the living room. It's the perfect divide of keeping Harry and Louis in separate rooms. Probably the breath of fresh air they need after sitting through a tensed and awkward dinner. The girls are more than likely talking to Harry about what happened, gossiping and attempting to make him feel better. 

If Louis could, he would leave. He would walk out the door and drive home. It's what he planned to do after dinner. But now, he put himself in a worm hole. If he left, then he'll seem like an even bigger asshole than he probably is. That's not really his goal. In fact, he's not really too sure what his goal is anymore. Being around Harry has made him feel so many different things, and he's not sure what to even do with himself.

His ex-boyfriend is there, constantly around now, and he's just so out of his limit. He wants to bring Luke to the concert to piss Harry off, but at the same time, he didn't want Harry to know anything ever happened between them. It's just a constant loop of contradictory things going on inside Louis' mind, and he's at the point of giving up and hiding away until Harry finally leaves. 

Like he said. Nothing good can come from two exes spending so much time together. Especially when there was no closure to the break up. Now Louis is questioning all his motives for the week and for the concert. 

"So," Liam breathes out once they all get sat on the couch. Louis immediately grabs a pillow and shoves his face in it. "The dinner was ... good." 

Niall has a troubled expression on his face. "Louis, mate. I'm sorry. I didn't think I said that so loud." 

Louis burrows deeper in to the pillow, groaning in frustration. 

"It's just, you know how I feel about you bringing him." 

Louis pulls the pillow away and gives Niall a cold look. "I didn't ask for your opinion. I didn't ask for you to shout out something I told you in private." 

Niall regretfully looks down at his lap, shoulders slouching in shame. Louis huffs in annoyance. 

"The two of you had sex then?" Zayn questions, eyebrow raising. 

"Is that why you wanted to bring Luke? To rub it in Harry's face?" Liam wonders, already sounding so disappointed. 

"That's fucked up," Zayn comments, and Louis rolls his eyes, tilting his head back on the cushion. "I thought you wanted to bring him just to be petty. Since H never liked him. Didn't realize you wanted to bring him because you finally shagged him." 

"Guys," Niall speaks up. "Shut up." 

Liam shrugs his shoulders, head tilted to the side, contemplating his thoughts. "I mean ... Louis wants to bring the guy that Harry never liked when they were together. And now he knows that you two fucked. That hurts, mate. That's more than being petty. I thought you were better than that, Tommo." 

Zayn nods in agreement. 

"Gosh, bloody hell with you two." Louis rubs his temples in frustration when Liam and Zayn's scolding tones bring on an annoying headache. Fuck. He should have left when he had the chance. "Whatever I did with Luke, it's my business. I was single, okay? I am single. You lot are acting like I bloody cheated on the boy. I didn't. We're not together anymore. I can be with whoever I want, and I don't need to run it by Harry's feelings first, got it?" 

There's a throat clearing from the opposite end of the room, and Louis shoves his face back in the pillow again. He doesn't even have to look to know who is standing there. If by the sharp intake of breath coming from Niall is not a good enough indicator, then the slur of cuss words coming from Zayn will definitely do it. 

Again. His words continuously keep biting him in the ass. He knows he's right. He's glad he said it out loud. But fuck, man. He can't catch a break with Harry at all. Louis is not the bad guy here, but he keeps making himself out to be one. Harry is just too fucking soft and fragile, and that is something he can't deal with. Not when he's the hurt one and the one who was left behind. 

"Thank you for hosting dinner, Liam," Harry says amidst the silence. "I have to get going." 

Liam stands up from the couch, desperately looking at Zayn for help. "You sure, mate?" 

"I - uh - I have stuff with the band that I need to do." 

"Okay." Liam glances worriedly from Louis over to Harry, slowly walking up to him. "Let me walk you out." 

Harry smiles appreciatively and follows along to the front door. Once he disappears, Louis flings back against the cushions of the couch and tosses the pillow to the side. 

For two people who are not together, Louis keeps feeling guilty about what he's doing. His and Luke's fling doesn't mean anything. Shouldn't mean anything to Harry considering they are broken up. All these hurtful and harsh words that he keeps saying, and the cold way he's acting towards the boy, it's how it's supposed to be. Harry can't expect the two of them to be friends when they haven't spoken in three years. It doesn't work that way.

Harry is the one who left, and Louis will gladly remind everyone about that. He's the one who left, and Louis is the one who was left behind. Without a good bye or a reason why. 

So what Louis did in those three years don't need an explanation. He was single. Is still single. How Harry feels, and the pitiful way he constantly looks, should have no direct relationship to Louis and his feelings. He should brush it aside. Turn the other way and not worry about.

Everything about Harry Styles and all the emotions he felt towards him are just a thing in the past. Harry is no longer a person Louis needs to constantly think about or worry about because they're broken up. They're no longer together. 

But then .... how come Louis still feels so guilty about everything? 

It doesn't make sense. It's not fair. 

///

It's day three. The third fucking day, and Louis is going insane. He doesn't get it. Doesn't understand why everyone feels the need to keep planning things with Harry. Why they feel the need to include him when they so clearly have seen the awkwardness between the two of them. They're not friends anymore. Not even acquaintances at this point. So why - why - why can't they just keep him out of their plans with Harry? 

It's a disaster in the making. A storm that is brewing. A tidal wave of pent up anger and frustration that is seconds away from crashing into Harry and drowning him in all the emotions that Louis has built up over the years. He's held off so far, only being three days in. But with how often all their friends expect them to hang around each other, he's not so sure how long he can keep biting his tongue. It seems like as each day passes, things between them get worse. 

Day one, and Louis makes a complete ass of himself in front of Harry. Not even bothering to look happy that he's home or making an attempt at small talk. He let his anger and bitterness get the best of him, and it's the first time that he's ever acted so coldly towards the boy. It's different when all he used to be was sweet and loving. So soft and gentle. Harry might have expected things to go back to how they once were, where the two of them could be friends. But Louis is stubborn. Always has been. He's not letting that boy off the hook so easily. Those pretty green eyes and pouty lips won't win him over this time. It's going to take a lot more than just his cute face to get past all this anger Louis has for him. 

Then it's day two. The infamous dinner. Everything had been going pretty decently until Niall slipped the ball on Louis and Luke's secret hook up. Then add on to that, Louis continued to run his mouth about being single and not caring about Harry's feelings, so the entire evening had been a complete disaster in trying to be civil. He knew everything he spoke was the truth, and he doesn't necessarily regret reminding his friends that he's not the one at fault here. But again, having Harry hear it all doesn't help. He looked so broken and upset, so betrayed, and Louis ended up being the one who felt guilty about the whole thing. Harry has that effect on people, making them feel sorry for him, and it fucking sucks. 

It sucks because Louis knows Harry. Knows him so fucking well. At one point, they were in love and inseparable. Louis could read Harry easily, probably better than the boy could read himself. He knew Harry struggled with finding his voice and being confident around others. He struggled with the way he looked and how others perceived him. His insecurities consumed him, and Louis had always been there to be his reassurance. To be the soft reminders in his ear that he's beautiful and his words matter. Their late night conversations always ended with Harry crying about all the things that would bother him, and Louis tried his best to be the most supportive boyfriend that he could be.

So, yeah. He knows how fragile Harry can be. Knows how in his head he can get and how that greatly impacts the way he acts around others. Louis' never been the person on the end making him feel bad. He's always been the one lifting him up and being that beacon of light for him. So now that he's on the other end of being the one to break Harry, he feels fucking guilty. Harry's no good when he's alone and upset. And Louis has made him upset more times than he can count within the last two days. It's stressful. Confusing. And it doesn't make Louis feel good about himself at all. 

He has until the evening to get his mind right. Niall invited all the lads over for a movie and beer night. Louis will be on day three of seeing his ex-boyfriend. And somehow, he's supposed to act normal. Right. 

It's been hours since Louis lost track of what he's supposed to be working on. He had been listening to a demo on an up and coming band, but his mind had started drifting away about a few hours shy from lunch. The text message threw him off, and he had been non stop thinking about Harry and this entire week of him being in town. It's affecting his life. Affecting his work. He can't even focus on his task without Harry somehow slipping in to his mind. Maybe he should try to be friendly and see where that gets him. All this guilt he feels is eating him up alive, and the more times he acts like an asshole to the boy, the longer it's going to weigh heavy on him. 

Harry once told him he was the sun. The brightest person he had ever seen. Always shining a light on others and just being the center to which everyone revolved around. Sometimes, when Harry would feel silly, he'd compare Louis to something sweet. Like honey. Nothing ever bad. Always said such nice things about him. Harry used to love him so fucking much. Now they can't even look at each other.

When the clock strikes one, Louis finally has an excuse to leave his office and put off all his work until another day. It's his lunch hour, and he had planned to visit the empty lot that his future studio will eventually be built on. It's the distraction that he needs leading in to another outing with his ex-boyfriend. Any time he gets the chance to take a step further in to opening his own record label, he feels hope. Excitement. Like all the pain and heartbreak he felt over the last three years have been worth it. Had led him to this point of achieving his goal the right way. Without betrayal and losing who he is. 

As Louis steps out his office, he hears the echo of a loud laugh that sends shivers throughout his body. The sound is all too familiar, and he knows who it's coming from before he even has to look. Harry. 

Of course he's here. Where Louis works. Right there in front of him, leaning over Gigi's desk and talking to her, happy, all smiles and dimples, laughing so carelessly. It's the first time since he's been home that Louis has seen this side of him. Almost like a glimpse at who Harry used to be. It's a bit refreshing, knowing that the part of Harry that everyone knows is still there, making a brief appearance. Even if it's just for a moment. Louis has to try his best not to smile. Seeing Harry happy has always been one of his favorite things. More so when he's the one who's making him happy. 

Knowing that he can't necessarily avoid them since the elevator is past where they are, Louis decides to walk over, a hesitant smile as he approaches the desk. Gigi smiles in return, but Harry gets tense, a bit closed off. He takes a step back, putting more distance between their bodies and places his hands in front, fingers tangling together. 

"Hey. What's going on?" 

"We just had lunch," Gigi answers brightly. "Harry was getting set up for studio time here. New song, right?"

Harry nods his head, slowly.  

Louis lifts an eyebrow, glancing over to Harry for confirmation. "Really?" 

"If that's - if that's okay?" Harry's cheeks flush red, and he anxiously nibbles on the inside of his cheek. 

"By all means." Louis looks away. "It's not like I own the place." 

Gigi rolls his eyes. "You'll own your own soon enough." 

Louis winks, and Harry shifts on his feet. 

"Are you leaving?" he questions under his breath, like he's scared to be heard. 

Gigi glances between the two of them before she's looking at her computer, trying to make herself look busy. Her nails tap loudly against the keyboard, and Louis watches the way she nibbles on the inside of her cheek. He wonders if she feels as awkward as he does right now. Things between him and Harry are still not good, definitely not after the dinner they had last night. Louis honestly did not think Harry would ever speak to him again after the Luke thing. 

"Yeah, I'm about to head out." Louis taps his fingers on top of the desk for a couple seconds and then steps away, stuffing his hands into his pocket instead. "I'm checking out the foundation for my studio, actually." 

Gigi turns her head towards him. "Has building started already?" 

"No. They just cleaned out the lot. Going to take a look and figure out the blue prints." 

"Exciting. This is like your baby," she gleams. 

"I'll see you after my lunch." Louis steps around Harry and walks towards the elevator. He can hear the heel of boots click across the ground as it gets closer to where he is standing. 

"I'll follow you out," Harry mumbles from behind, hands wringing behind his back. Louis nods and presses the button, foot tapping on the ground as he waits for the elevator to land on the floor. 

This is about to be even more awkward. 

It's silent as they enter the lift. Louis presses the button for the lobby and then leans against the railing on the wall. Harry is on the complete opposite  side of him, stuffed in the corner of the elevator with his head hung low. He's staring at his boots, the way they're scuffing over each other. Fingers wrapped tightly around the railings, and the tension continues to thicken the longer the silence lingers. 

Louis absolutely hates it. Harry used to never be so shy around him. Never caved in on himself nor tried to make himself disappear. But that's exactly what he's doing right now, looking as if he wants to sink into the wall of the elevator. He's breathing shakily, like he can't control the race of his heart. Louis' stomach twist uncomfortably. Seeing Harry like this has never made him felt good, especially when he knows he's the one making him feel this way. 

"So," he ends up saying, clearing his throat. A furrow makes its way to Harry's brows, and he glances Louis' way. "A movie night then?" 

Harry shifts his weight between both his feet. "Yeah." 

"Starting a bit late, no?" 

As much as Louis bitched about the small talk, that's surely what he's doing right now. He hopes Harry doesn't make a comment on it. Small talk just seems appropriate right now. 

"I have sound check today. Won't get done until later." 

Right. Harry's famous. Has a band. Is the lead singer. Supposed to play a concert at the end of the week. Sometimes Louis forgets about this new life Harry lives. He wishes that he could go back to what they used to be when they were nothing but two boys in love who dreamed big things. 

"Makes sense." Louis clicks his tongue, eyes glancing around the ceiling of the elevator. They're almost to the lobby. "I'll see you tonight then ... I suppose." 

Harry nods his head, ducking down again. "Yeah." He sniffs, fingers tapping against the railing. "You're building a studio?" 

The elevator dings, and the sound jolts both he and Harry. They share brief eye contact with one another, and then the doors are opening. There's a slew of people that are waiting to get on so Louis motions for Harry to go first before following him out. 

"I am, yeah," Louis responds, realizing that he and Harry are walking alongside each other on the way to the garage. It feels so natural. 

"The studio is your baby then?" 

Louis swallows as he looks away. "It's finally coming together so it sort of feels like it." 

There was once a time when Louis' baby was Harry. It was a known thing between their group friends based on how protective Louis used to be. Any time some one spoke a certain way with Harry, or didn't treat him right, Louis would be right there protecting him. Pushing away all the bad and only bringing the good. It was so easy to fall in to that role when Harry is the youngest of the group and Louis is the oldest. They had a sort of ship and compass relationship. Wherever Louis pointed, Harry would follow. Whatever he would say, Harry would listen. 

Louis' been a protective person his whole life. Easily held that title with four younger sisters. Then having a boyfriend who felt insecure and thrived off support, he just easily continued that with him. The hardest part for Louis was realizing that Harry no longer needed him to protect him. That he had other people to do just that. The support he now has comes from fans. All the love and the praise - Harry didn't need it to come from him anymore. He had body guards now. A management team. PR team. All these people who are supposed to be protecting him. Who are trained and paid to do so. Everything Louis and Harry once were to each other just seems like a distance from the past, a mere thought.

Because now, Louis does have a new baby. And it's not a boyfriend or another person. It's his career. The thing he had been working so hard towards for the last three years. He protects this close to his heart. Supports himself and all the visions he has on where he sees his future. Building a studio and running a label is his dream, his baby, and he'll do just about everything he can to make sure he gets what he's been working towards.

"That's good," Harry says shortly. The two of them stop at the door to the garage, and Louis opens it up. He lingers in the doorway as Harry steps through, awkwardly looking around like he's not too sure where to go. "Where's your studio?" he ends up asking, trying to drag the conversation on a little longer. 

Louis' car is parked up front, so it's only a few spots over. He clicks his keys once to start the engine, and Harry glances over to the black car with the lights flashing on. Louis already feels what is about to happen, and he has no inclination to stop it. 

"It's not too far actually. Right up the road." Slowly, he walks towards his car, glancing at the awkward way Harry is standing on the steps. "Do you want to check it out?" he asks, going against his better judgement. The question just slipped right out of him, and if he wouldn't have put that thought in his mind, then he wouldn't have felt inclined to ask. 

The problem is that Louis was scared that if he didn't ask, Harry might have. And he really didn't want to disappoint Harry any more than he already has. He's trying to survive the week. Not make it dreadful. 

"Are you sure?" 

Louis tilts head towards his car, unlocking it. "Yeah. I haven't gotten to show anyone." 

A smile creeps its way on to Harry's face, a small flash of dimples. "Okay. Yeah. I would love to see it."  

His face gets brighter, and Louis finds himself smiling. It's such a stark contrast to what he's seen since Harry's first arrived in town. All his smiles seemed fake and laughter forced. Nothing had been authentic. It's like he's putting on a show for everyone, burrowing down all the things that are bothering him so that he can have this persona that everything is alright. Louis knows it's not. He can see right through the facade. But it's nice that Harry is able to break free a little bit and show emotion on something that makes him happy. Even if that is spending time together - alone, without their friends. 

Louis tries not to think too much about that. Harry's probably more excited about the fact that Louis is doing something with his life, taking a step into the dream they once shared together. Although Louis still resents Harry for what he did, he's pretty happy that he's getting to do what he's always dreamed of. The first song that he listened to of Harry's on the radio, was quite ridiculous, but even then he smiled too. The boy he used to kiss under the sun and speak to the stars with was selling out arenas and creating hit singles. The same boy who did not believe in his voice or his creative ability. 

They've come so far. Might have grown apart in the process, but at the end of the day, Harry is an old friend. An old lover. And Louis feels a bit prideful that he was a part of the journey. Doesn't diminish his resentment and bitterness though. He's just a big jumble of conflicted emotions at this point. 

The ride over to the empty lot is silent. Since Harry doesn't have an actual car to drive in, he rode with Louis, sitting in the passenger seat and being a constant reminder of how things used to be. After everything that's happened within the last two days, it's kind of nice being able to sit in the same vehicle and not have the air feel so thick. It's calm. A bit more comfortable than Louis would like, but they're not arguing or bickering. They're not making each other upset or causing a scene. Harry's just a warm presence next to him, and he looks perfectly content with where he's sat and looking out the window. 

It should not feel as natural as it does, but Louis can't deny what he's feeling. Things between him and Harry have always been easy. Their conversations. Their love. Everything. So it's not a surprise that there's a small glimpse of the easiness and comfort that comes along when they're together, even if it's just sitting in the same car. Harry's all smiles and sunshine, pleased with being there. He's glowing, radiating, like being next to Louis is what brings on that sort of aura. 

But then ... Louis thinks. He wonders. His mind draws back to the gloominess and dark clouds that constantly hang over Harry's head. And the way he doesn't eat his food or drink his wine. Always so closed off and hiding away, like he doesn't want to be noticed. For someone who is supposed to be a pop star, Harry still acts like the shy boy with lots of insecurities. If being inside a car with Louis is the only thing right now that can make him look so happy and bright, then Louis wonders what the hell are all the other things that are bringing him down to this sadness that he's constantly in. Harry should be happy all the time. Not just when he's reliving moments from his past.

It doesn't make sense. He's the pop star now. He chose this life. He chose to leave Louis and their friends behind. This is the dream that he's living. The happiness and sunshine should be a constant glow around his body, but it seems like the only thing that can do it right now is when he's next to Louis. When they're acting like what they used to be. Friends. Compatible. No resentment or anger. 

"Alright. This is it," Louis announces as he pulls up alongside the curb. He turns his ignition off and glances over at Harry, smiling warily when the boy looks at the empty lot through the window. "I know it's not much." 

"It's your beginning," Harry responds, eyes drifting to Louis. 

There's a moment where they just look at one another, sitting in the silence of the car and forgetting about everything around them. Louis' heart quickens in his chest, and he quickly has to divert his eyes away so he doesn't do something stupid like kiss Harry. His green eyes are so bright and wide, filled with so much wonderment. Nothing about that has changed with him. The way Harry looks at him. He thought after all these years Harry would lose that special spark he had for him, but it's still there. Louis sees it so clearly, and he's not sure what it's supposed to mean anymore. 

Louis is the first to get out the car, and then Harry follows. They meet up on the sidewalk, and Louis leads the way through the foundation that has already been cemented. Harry follows mindlessly behind, hands stuffed in his coat pocket as he looks around at everything. 

"I have a couple layouts I've been considering. Not sure which one to go with." 

"Are you going to have other offices here?" 

Louis stops at the end of the lot and turns around, breath catching in his throat when he realizes just how close Harry is to him. "Mark wants to have additional business space available to rent. He's considering having an office here as well. Might need a couple floors in the building." 

Harry nods his head and turns around, glancing ahead at the view in front. "You'll have a good view. That's for sure." 

The view from this building will be a lot better than his office at London Records. The building is resting on a hill, higher up so that there is more of an upward view of everything down below. Louis can see downtown buildings towards the left, and then he has all the lower neighborhoods closer to the right. There's a park up ahead that he'll still get to admire, and all the motorways not too far for him to catch an occasional police chase. London Records is surrounded by flat lands so being more on the hilly side of town is a good change he is looking forward too. 

Plus, a lot of record stores and dive bars are around. Perfect area to market his business. 

"The contractor we hired sent a few ides for the layout." Louis pulls his phone out and steps next to Harry, showing him the screen. "All relatively the same. That's why it's hard to choose." 

Harry slowly reaches out to grab the phone from his hand. "May I?" he asks, waiting for Louis' nod of approval. He begins scrolling through the few options that Louis has pulled up.

The format of each one is pretty similar, but they each have minor adjustments that probably don't mean much to the people who come in and out of the building. It's a matter of where Louis wants the offices of the label and what floor is going to be the recording studio. Does he want stores and restaurants on the inside and how many stories high he intends for the building.

Another thing is the parking lot and the garage, how that's going to be connected. Louis can't imagine his building being any bigger than London Records. He has a small label, so the amount of people he intends to work for him will be limited. His actual business will only need a couple floors in the building that can house offices and other amenities. He does prefer to take the top floors as for a better view of London. The floors below can be other businesses that choose to rent out and possibly play an affect to his company. Like Mark's law firm. 

"I think they're all great. I might lean towards the third option. Seems more suitable."

Crazy. Louis thought the same thing.

"Yeah. That's what I was leaning towards too." 

Harry smiles as he hands the phone back to Louis. "Does it have a name yet?" 

"No." Louis snorts, shaking his head. "That is something I struggle with." He turns a little towards Harry and notes the bright grin on his face, eyes crinkling and dimples cratering his cheeks. "I was thinking something with twenty-eight. Like twenty eight programme or some shit." 

Harry blushes, heading ducking down. "That's always been your favorite number." 

Of course he remembers something so minor about Louis. Twenty eight is his favorite number. Never really knew why. He and Harry kissed for the first time on February eighth. Became boyfriends on September twenty eight. Maybe that's where the significance is. Two and eight have always just been a part of him and Harry, of their past and their love story, and then it's just stuck with him. At one point, he considered getting the two numbers tattooed on his body. That's how dedicated he is. 

The sound of a phone ringing cuts through their moment, and Harry falters back when he realizes its coming from him. Louis clears his throat and steps away so he can take the call, walking around the empty lot and busying himself by kicking things. Harry presses the phone to his ear and mumbles softly through the line. He walks to the opposite end of the lot but continues to glance over Louis' way, like he's worried he can hear the conversation through the phone. 

When the call ends, Harry pockets his phone and joins Louis, a frown now spreading across his lips. Louis looks up and raises his eyebrows. "Everything alright?" 

"I forgot about rehearsals," Harry murmurs, eyes casting down to his shoes. "The car stopped by Record Labels." 

Louis laughs under his breath. "Right. Probably should have told them I kidnapped you." 

"You didn't." Harry looks up, lips creeping up into a smile. "I told them where I was. Should be on their way."

"Warn them you're not being held captive." 

Harry smiles. "I was thinking that maybe you and the others came after rehearsals one day. It's pretty cool getting to explore the stadiums without all the fans around. I think Niall wants to meet my band." 

Louis can't think of a worse idea than that.

"Sure. Sounds ... fun."

Harry beams brightly, and then Louis is wondering why it would be such a bad idea in the first place.  

It doesn't take long for the car to come around and pick Harry up. Their goodbye is awkward and strained, all tensed smiles and hesitant movements with their bodies. Although they've had a good hour spending time together, it still feels weird to do anything other than wave at each other. They used to hug and part ways with a kiss, but they don't do either of those things anymore. For a brief moment, Louis held his breath as he thought Harry was going to make the move to do so, but instead, he smiled warily and waved before rushing off into the car. It was awkward and weird, but he didn't mind the time he spent with Harry today. 

A few hours pass where Louis goes home to get freshen up. He's supposed to meet at Niall's house around eight to get started on their movie and beer night. That's around the time when Harry should be finished up with his sound check, and he'll join a little later once he gets ready. Louis is only half an hour late when he finally does arrive, but he comes baring a few boxes of pizza and a case of beer to share with the others. Liam and Zayn are currently playing a game on the X-box, and Niall is in the kitchen getting all their snacks ready for when the first movie begins. 

"Do we know what movie we're starting with?" Louis asks as he places his things on the coffee table. He slumps on the open couch in the middle and kicks his feet up, eyeballing the two boys squished together on the bean bag on the floor. 

"Not sure," Zayn comments, eyes trained to the game on the tv. It's FIFA that they're playing, and he cusses under his breath when Liam's player steals the ball from him. "Harry texted not too long ago. Should be a few more minutes." 

Louis nods his head and sips his beer. He's definitely not going to mention the fact that he spent a solid hour with the boy. Also going to keep quiet on the fact that he quite enjoyed it too. 

"I was thinking something scary," Niall announces into the room, holding two bowls of popcorn in either hand. He places them next to the box of pizza and beer Louis brought and then plops himself on the recliner. "There's a new one out I've been wanting to see." 

"Is it one with the demon girl?" Liam wonders. 

"There's a thriller, too. Something about an invisible man," Zayn comments after. 

Niall hums at both options. "Thrillers are always fun. Gives a good scare, yeah?" 

"You know Harry's not going to like that," Louis ends up saying, not even realizing the words are out his mouth until the moments passed and all eyes turn to him. He makes a face, realizing he dug himself into that one. 

"And you care?" Zayn questions, a playful tilt to his voice. 

Louis blinks and notices that the game is now paused. He buries himself into another sip of his beer. 

"Harry doesn't like scary movies. It keeps him up at night. He gets super clingy when we watch them," Zayn mocks in his poorly attempted Louis voice. Niall and Liam cackle, and Louis tosses the closest throw pillow at his head. "Nothing's changed then." 

"What are you on about? You all know he doesn't like scary movies." 

"He's a romantic comedy type of fellow," Niall snorts, shaking his head. "Yeah, we all know that." 

"Exactly." 

Zayn rolls his eyes and exits out the game he and Liam are no longer playing. "You just worry about him like old times. Like you're still in love with him." 

To be fair, it's common knowledge that Harry hates scary movies. He's got too much anxiety when watching them, and all the horrific images of the movie constantly play on repeat in his mind at night. Any time the group would get together for a movie night in the past, they somehow always managed to sneak a scary movie in. It usually resorted in Harry crawling in Louis' lap and burrowing himself into his chest and neck. Then they would spend the night together because Harry absolutely refuses to sleep alone, and if Louis' arms weren't around him the entire time he was asleep, then he'd freak. 

Louis' known to be a bit dramatic. But, when it comes to anything scary, Harry is right up there on being a drama queen. That's why Louis tried his best to keep it from being an option. He just knows Harry. Knows how badly they bother him. And considering now they're not together, and Harry is actually going home to an empty hotel room, he can only image the amount stress he'll have if they watch one tonight. It's not like he can cuddle Harry for old times sake. They're still not on the best of terms, and their relationship right now is complicated. Louis can't even describe what he and Harry are as of now. 

"Let's start with a scary one since he's not here," Niall concludes. He gets up from the recliner and searches through his shelves of movies. Once finding the perfect one, he sets it up with the DVD player. 

About halfway through the movie, lights off and popcorn and pizza half eaten, Harry finally shows. He strolls in through the front door with a box of cookies, and the smile slowly slips off his face when his eyes land on the television screen. It's a scene of a little girl getting possessed, and Louis instinctively reaches forward to pause the movie. 

"You made it," Niall greets, sitting up right in the recliner after having lazily tossed his legs over the arm. 

Harry's expression is cautious as he walks further in to set the cookies on the table, glancing back and forth between Niall and the paused movie on the screen. "What're we watching then?" 

Niall opens his mouth, but Louis beats him to the punch. 

"Waiting on you to get here to switch to a comedy." 

Zayn buries his laugh in to Liam's shoulder. Niall rolls his eyes, and Harry looks immensely relieved. 

"Really?" he questions hopefully. 

Louis nods his head and exits out from the current movie they're watching. "Yeah. We couldn't decide so we threw this on in the mean time." 

"I know one we can watch. Just came out not too long ago," Harry answers. He takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch Louis is on and grabs the remote to search for the movie. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders when he catches Liam and Zayn's eye from the bean bag, and he tries not to think too much of the fact that he's still got that protective instinct inside of him. He ignores Zayn mouthing whipped to him and Liam's not-so-subtle wiggly eyebrows. Niall gives him a look, and then a wicked grin takes over his face.

Louis has to divert his eyes away from all three of them because despite what they say or think, he is still most definitely not in love with Harry. Not at all. 

///

Harry,

I cannot seem to find the right words to express how proud I am of you. Things have been a little weird for the past week, but I want you to know that  changes nothing about how much I love you. Because, I do Harry. So very much. You won the X-Factor, and you deserve all the amazing opportunities that follow it. This new future for you seems scary. I know I am quite scared, but I really think you should consider taking their offer. Going on tour and creating music like this is a once and a life time opportunity. I would hate for you to give that up when you have so much talent to give. 

I know I haven't been myself, but that is only because I've been struggling on how to say this to you. In order for you to reach your full potential, I have to stop being selfish. I have to stop keeping you to myself and share you with the rest of the world. It seems scary that we're diverging on different paths, but I believe in you. I believe in us, and I believe accepting this tour will be the best thing to ever happen to you. 

You're the love of my life, and I want you to always know that. Even when I am being a tit with not knowing how to voice my thoughts. I'm working on communicating better because when you go on tour, I'll have to make sure to keep up. This doesn't have to be the end for us. This is not a goodbye. 

This is just the beginning to our dreams. So go. Take the tour. Go be the rockstar I know you can be. I'll still be here waiting on you. I'll be there right by your side as much as I can. 

Love Always, 

Louis

"No," Louis mutters, crumbling the piece of paper he had just written on. "This is utter shit." He tosses it into the mass pile that has formed near his rubbish bin. 

Things have been different since Harry won the X-factor competition, and Louis knows it's partially his fault. Harry was offered a tour and a contract for winning the competition, and he wasn't convinced enough to accept it  He's thought about turning it down and returning back to his old life as someone who sings at talent shows. Despite all the praise and fans that have built up since his first audition, Harry still doesn't see his potential in the music industry. Still so insecure and naive, so young and unsure what path he wants to go on. 

It's been stressing Louis out. As much as it's been stressing Harry out. They haven't talked as much since Harry even first entered the competition, and now their words are strained because it's just a matter of what's going to happen following the win. It's not like they're arguing or fighting. It's more like they are struggling to talk to each other. Having this distance that's grown due to being on  completely different schedules, and it's tough. Harry's being offered the world on a silver platter, and Louis is doing his best not to push Harry one way or the other. 

As much as Louis would like for his boyfriend to stay home and not leave him behind, he knows this is a great opportunity. Harry is being offered a tour, an album, and a contract. He's being offered his dream, and who is Louis to keep that from him? He wants Harry to take. He wants Harry to pursue everything they spent late nights talking about. But he doesn't want to seem like he's trying to push Harry away. If their relationship was in a better place, then he would do it. But the competition lasted several months, meaning they haven't been together and their normal self for several months. They need that time back, but now their time is scarce. 

How does one properly tell the love of their life that they need leave them behind to achieve their dreams? It's tough. It's hard. And Louis is still fighting with that inner demon inside of him that keeps telling him to not bother with it. To convince Harry to stay with him and that they'll find another way to get what they want together. 

Fuck. They haven't even kissed in what feels like forever. Louis can't remember the last time he's properly touched Harry. They knew this would happen with the competition. It still didn't make it any easier to encounter. 

After contemplating on what to do, Louis decides that going the letter route is ridiculous. He hasn't spent proper time with Harry in months. Hasn't had a real good conversation in forever. That's what he needs to have. He needs to be with Harry privately and just talk with him, in person, face to face. Letter is just a ploy to hide all his feeling. A mask, of sorts. Louis' never liked wearing his heart on his sleeve, but he's getting quite desperate right now with Harry. He sends a message asking to meet in the park, and his nerves increases immensely. 

Louis grabs the nearest coat off the rack and begins walking through the neighborhood. The park is located right in between both their houses so the travel to get there gives him enough time to clear his head. He doesn't have so much of a plan right now. Just keying on some points like how he loves Harry and wants him to follow his dreams. He doesn't want to come off as pushing Harry away, but also doesn't want to come off as being selfish in wanting to keep him here. There's so many things going on inside his head, and Louis' never once ever had to deal with something so serious. It's quite surreal to think about in the first place. 

Upon walking up the park, Louis sees Harry sitting on the swing. He's swaying from side to side, shoes scuffing against the dirt and head tilted back just a little so he can look up at the moon. Louis takes a moment to stand there, out of view, while he gazes at his boy. A smile creeps on his face as he admires the bright glow illuminating from the moon and washing down the sides of Harry's face. He's so beautiful under the star light, under any light, really. And Louis loves him so much. 

"Hello," he greets as he walks up to join Harry, taking the empty swing next to him. 

Harry smiles as he turns his head, eyes sparkling and crinkling by the sides. "Hi, Lou." 

Louis sucks in a deep breath. Harry looks so happy, so carefree. So lovely and soft. He wants to kiss, wants to touch his curls and caress the side of his face.

Instead, Louis' curls his fingers around the chains of the swing, refraining from all the instincts he has inside. He doesn't know how Harry is going to handle the conversation. It can go good or bad, there's no telling. Especially since they've been so off this entire week.

"I really need to talk to you." 

At that, the smile slips off Harry's face. "Is something wrong?" he worries, angling his body towards Louis. 

"I mean - " Louis shrugs helplessly - "I figured we need to talk about us." 

Harry's eyes panic. "What about us? I didn't - What's wrong with us?" 

"We're going in different directions, Harry. You have the tour - " 

"I'm not going on the tour," he corrects. 

Louis rolls his eyes. "And that's stupid of you. The tour is exactly what you want. Why would you not take it?" 

"Because I don't want it. Not like this." 

"Harry ... it's your dream. This is what we've been talking about for years. This isn't something you just turn down." 

Harry stands from the swing. "I'm not ready to go on tour. I want to stay here." 

"You shouldn't stay here. You should go." 

Sucking in a breath, Harry slowly turns to Louis, eyebrows pinched together. "What?"

"Leave. Go on tour. Live your dream." Louis stands up as well, but he keeps the distance between them. "Don't stay here because of me. I want you to do this. I want you to go." 

Harry's head tilts just a little, and he's got the expression on his face like he's trying to formulate his thoughts. "Is this why you've barely talked to me all week?" he suddenly snaps. Louis opens his mouth, but he gets barely a breath out before Harry's continuing. "More like for months, right? I mean, you haven't bothered to text me. Or visit. It's like you're avoiding me. I thought you needed some time to like process everything - " Harry begins to pace - "But then I see you hanging around with everyone but me." His eyes harden in a way that makes Louis' stomach churn. "Speaking of, how was your dinner date with Luke last night? Nice to know you're speaking to someone." 

Okay.

This is not going well. Louis feels quite panicky too. 

The dinner wasn't even a date. Louis needed to talk to somebody outside their friend group to figure out how to go about this conversation, and Luke literally was the only person available. Oli and Stan were busy, so alas, that left Luke. It was completely harmless, and ... how did Harry even find out?

"Harry, that's not - " 

"It's not what it seems. Yeah." Harry scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest. His stance is becoming defensive. "You know, after I won the competition, you changed." 

Louis chokes on his breath. "Changed? How the bloody hell have I changed? I'm standing here trying to tell you to go on tour." 

"Yeah, I heard you, Louis. You don't want me here. You want me to leave."

Well, when he puts it that way ... it does sound a bit harsh. 

"I just want you to go on tour and do what you've always talked about doing," Louis corrects more urgently, feeling his heart now racing in his chest. 

"After several days - more like several months - of not speaking, you now want to know talk about how you don't want me here anymore? That's rich." 

Louis huffs. That's not at all what he's trying to get it. Sometimes, Harry is too stubborn for his own good, and that makes conversations like this that much harder. He only listens to what he wants to hear.

" That's not it, and you know it. Fuck, Harry. What we have here is not - "

Harry cuts him off with a sharp laughter. "Oh, I see where this is going. You're trying to break up with me?" 

"Bloody hell." Louis rubs his eyes. "You don't listen at all, do you?" Blowing out a breath, he moves his hands to his hips. "Our relationship is not a good enough reason for you to stay here. Like I said, we're going on different paths right now. Winning X-Factor isn't the end for you. We won't be able to - " 

"Please stop." 

"I'm trying to tell you that you and I aren't - " 

"I don't want to hear it, Louis," Harry interrupts sharply, eyes now hardening. "I get it. Okay? I'm young. I'm naive. I'm just some boy who follows you around like a lost puppy dog. Now I have a chance to leave you for a good reason, and you don't have to feel guilty about it. I can tell pretty clearly where your head is at with our relationship now." 

Louis blinks. How did their conversation even end up this way? How the hell did he let the conversation take a turn for the worse? He wishes he could just shut Harry up by telling him that he loves him, but all the words are getting stuck in his throat. He's losing Harry, right there beneath his fingertips. Can feel him pulling away and increasing the distance that has already been started.

T his is not what he wanted to happen. If he had prepared this conversation better - if he wouldn't have been so scared all week to talk to Harry, then they wouldn't be here like this. 

Silence is overrated. It gives off more answers than words sometimes. 

"Are you cheating on me?" 

Louis' eyes nearly pop out his socket. Not once had ever thought he came across as the  cheating type. He's too stunned to even give a direct answer. Here comes the silence again.

"You've been with Luke all week, Louis. All week. And you haven't once been with me. I won the X-Factor, and then it's like you disappeared on me. Is he the reason why you want me to leave? I mean fuck, I've been gone for months with the competition, and you felt miles away, too. I needed you to be there for me. You told me you would."  

"Okay, look - " Louis raises his hands, feeling his fingers tingle with adrenaline. Everything is quite spiraling out of control right now. "I have been talking to Luke about you and about the tour and about us and what I should do - " 

"You what?" Tears spring to Harry's eyes, shiny and glossy green. "You talked to Luke about our relationship, and not me?" A bitter laugh comes out, and Harry takes a step back, faltering on his feet. "And now you're telling me to leave, without talking to me about how you feel, or about how I feel? You just take his advice and run with it?

Louis doesn't have the words to say anything right. 

"This isn't about the tour, is it? God, you're a fucking wanker." All the tears have unleashed, and they stream freely down Harry's face. Huffing, he begins wiping at them, continuing to back up like he's ready to bolt out of there. "I wanted to stay here with you because I love you. Because I'm not ready for this. I thought you of all people would understand that. But you don't. I didn't even want to do this bloody competition but you insisted. And then you didn't bother to be there for me at all. You're just pushing me away because you found your excuse to get rid of me. Is that what Luke told you all week when you were with him? Or what about all those months I was already away? I trusted you." 

Louis takes a step forward, and he reaches out for the boy. Why can't he say anything right now? Three words, eight letters, he needs to spit them out right now. This is the most deadliest of silences he's ever caused. 

"Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again. Don't call. Don't text. Just do what you've been doing, and forget about me. Because I don't ever want to see you again." 

Before Louis has the chance to use his voice, Harry has turned on his heel and sprints out the park. That next morning when Louis shows up at Harrys door step with flowers and a written note of all the tings he actually wanted to say, he comes to find out that Harry took the tour. 

He left. Without saying goodbye.

Louis wakes from his dream when the front door to his flat slams back against the wall. He jolts from the couch, lifting his head up from the cushion and trying to let his eyes adjust to the dim lighting of the room. Rubbing his eyes, Louis straightens up, watching as Liam and Zayn make their way into his home and sitting down on either side of him on the couch. 

"What are you two doing here?" he asks groggily. 

"I've come to a conclusion," is Zayn's answer. Louis lifts an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "You're still in love with Harry, and you're in denial." 

Louis deflates against the cushion. "I'm not." 

"He's still in love with you, too," Liam eases with a smile, like it's the most easiest thing for Louis to hear. He rolls his eyes and hugs a throw pillow to his chest. 

"What's with the interrogation? I'm sure you're not doing this to him in his hotel room." 

"No," Zayn agrees, tossing his legs up on the coffee table and making himself more comfortable. Louis makes a face at the shoe scuff markings. "But I do think this is a good time for you two to work everything out. It's been three years, and clearly the feelings are mutual." 

"What's stopping you?" Liam wonders. "Out of curiosity. We thought him being here would spark an old flame." 

Zayn wiggles his eyebrows. Louis snorts. 

"I can't forgive him, lads. He left me - without saying goodbye. No phone call. No text. No letter. Nothing. Like I meant nothing to him. Quite hard to forgive, if you ask me." 

"But ... you two had broken up before he left," Zayn points out, sounding a little unsure. "Right?" 

Louis shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't exactly know what he and Harry were that night before he left for tour. They were all of things. Most of all, they were not on the same page, that's for sure. 

"So there's no redemption at all with you two?" Liam questions softly, hand falling on top of Louis; shoulder gently. 

Louis blows air past his lips. "He has yet to make any sort of redemption with himself. All I see is a curly headed cunt these days." 

"Louis," Zayn scolds. 

"What are we doing today? I know you two came over to drag me alone somewhere." 

Liam stands from the couch. "Lunch. Harry wants to take us out to eat." 

"Tomorrow is his last day of rehearsals, and then it's the concert," Zayn inform, standing as well, eyeballing Louis' features. "Then he's on break after. Who knows what he has planned." 

Louis rolls his eyes and stands from the couch. His jacket is hanging on a rack over his bedroom door so he walks over to grab it. "Let's get this over with. There's a footie game later tonight that I don't want to miss." 

"Play nice, alright?" Zayn begs, pouting for good measure.

"Yeah, alright." 

They take a cab to the restaurant that Harry picked out, and everyone else who is joining plans to meet them there. Gigi, Sophia, Hailee and Niall all text they're on their way, and Louis tries his best to compose himself. After reliving the memories of his and Harry's ambiguous break up, he's not really feeling in the mood to play nice and be friendly. The memory sparked painful emotions, and it definitely put him in a bitter mood. He hates reliving the past like that, having the constant replay of the night where everything went wrong followed by the morning of no return. 

The place they're having dinner is an upscale Italian restaurant. Louis' heard of it before, and he's been meaning to try it out. It's not something he would invite his other friends to considering it's more on the pricey side. Not like they couldn't afford it, but there's no need to go somewhere for expensive items when the local Italian diners are just as good. Harry's probably used to fine dining and luxurious food and wine. He most likely didn't consider the fact that the others don't have as much money as he does. For Louis, it doesn't matter. He's well off. But it's not like Liam or Zayn or Niall can drop a couple hundred on a meal like this. It's pointless. Harry doesn't think. 

Louis continues to bite his tongue on making snarky comments when suddenly he notices all the screaming fans around. The cab driver is having to honk his way through the swarm of fans that gathered at the front entrance of the restaurant, and it's quite ridiculous that they're even having the trouble to arrive in the first place. He must have a look on his face because Zayn glances at him, wearing an expression of don't start anything. Zayn always knows when he's about to say something he probably shouldn't, and he definitely had something on the tip of his tongue ready to be voiced. 

This lifestyle Harry is living is different. Something not he or any one of them are even used to. The screaming fans. The followers. They can't even have a nice lunch without Harry's new life being shoved in their faces. 

When the three of them enter the restaurant, Louis definitely cannot bite his tongue much longer. The place is empty, save for a few employees. There are no other customers. Just the three of them, and then where everyone else is set up to eat. Suspicion rises, and Louis rolls his eyes as he scans the entire inside view of the restaurant. 

"The place is empty," he says out loud, eyes dragging by to the hostess. "Is it closed?" 

"No, sir. Mr. Styles requested a private dinner." 

Louis scoffs, much louder than he intended. 

"Louis," Zayn warns, giving him that look again. 

"What? It's a bit daft he rented out this whole place. Who even does that?" 

"He's famous, Lou. He probably wants privacy," Liam explains slowly, glancing back and forth between Louis and the hostess. She simply smiles, standing there awkwardly with menus tucked against her chest. 

"So much for that," he snorts, shaking his head. He turns around to point at the fans and paparazzi standing by the glass doors at the front of the building. "We won't even be able to leave the place now." 

"They should leave within the hour," the hostess ends up saying, smiling brighter when all three turn their head towards her. "It's not uncommon for celebrities to rent our place and for fans to be outside. They usually get bored and leave after an hour of lingering." 

"See." Zayn nudges Louis' shoulder. 

Without any further comments, the three of them get led to the back towards a private room. There are two guards standing outside the closed doors, and Louis can already feel the burn of his friends eyes staring at the side of his head. If renting out an entire place wasn't enough, now Harry has men guarding their lunch room. It's a bit excessive, but Louis refrains from saying anything further and continues to follow through once the hostess polity opens the door and ushers the three of them inside. 

The room is dimly lit, and all their friends are already gathered around the table, a wine bottle ordered, and laughing at something Niall just said. The laughter quiets when they make their appearance, and all eyes drift over towards them. Both sides of the room house a large cellar of wines, different reds and whites that Louis has probably never even heard of. The far wall has a giant picture frame of some abstract art, something that looks to be straight from an art gallery. This place is definitely more posh than Louis expected, like some wannabe restaurant from Italy. It's not his taste nor style, a bit too upscale even for him. But, the Bruschetta board on the table looks quite appetizing, and as long as Louis can house a wine glass throughout the lunch, then he thinks he can play nice for a few hours. 

Zayn and Liam naturally go towards their girlfriends and sit in the seats next to the them. The way the table is set up, Liam, Sophia, Niall and Hailee all sit on one side of the table, and Zayn, Gigi and Harry are on the other. Which means the last open seat is of course next to Harry, and Louis has to try to mask the annoyance on his face as he goes to sit down. His heart strings tug a bit when Harry offers him a small smile, private and appreciative. If Louis hadn't had his dream before coming here, he might feel inclined to smile back. But now that he's seeing Harry in person, after remembering his most heartbreaking memory, he feels quite bitter. 

Louis diverts his eyes before he can watch the smile slip off Harry's lips. He's here at lunch. That should be enough. 

"So, I hear Harry is taking you guys on a stadium tour," Hailee says, starting a new conversation since the three of them had shown up. 

Zayn grabs his menu and smirks. "Yeah. S' pretty cool getting all the backstage access." 

Well. That's a first of Louis hearing about this. He did not know this was evening happening.

Looking up, he makes eye contact with Liam, brows furrowing together in a silent question of what they're talking about. Liam doesn't help much by shrugging his shoulders, still leaving Louis clueless and confused. 

"How come we weren't invited?" Hailee pouts. 

Harry makes an strained face. 

"Was your lads only movie night not enough?" Sophia questions, edging on sounding bitter. 

Louis hides his smirk by sipping his glass of wine. For some reason, hearing others get sassy with Harry is such a nice feeling. Makes him not feel so guilty when he gets that way with him as well. It's hard to sometimes hide the bitterness and anger that has built up over the years, no matter how hard they try to play nice. 

Harry opens his mouth to respond, but his eyes scream panic and help. He merely gets a strained breath out, too caught up on the words he wants to say but cannot. Luckily, Niall jumps in to save him, answering instead. 

"We're his lads. The boys. We always get special treatment from our Hazza." 

That nickname makes Louis' chest tighten. He's the one who started calling Harry that early on.

"You sound like an idiot," Gigi giggles, shaking her head. Liam and Zayn begin to laugh, and Harry cracks the faintest smile. "Anyway, Harry offered to bring us around the morning of his concert. He didn't forget about his ladies." 

Hailee and Sophia perk up. 

"Yeah, I can't invite too many people at one time. I figured the lads could come tomorrow and you lot can come the day after," Harry says softly. Louis eyes glance down, and he notes Harry wringing his fingers together on top his lap. Always been a nervous habit of his. 

"We just talked about it earlier today at the office," Gigi explains. Her eyes cast over to Louis, now directing the conversation solely to him but still making it seem like she's still addressing all. "When he was using the recording studio. He mentioned it then." 

Hailee nods her head. "I see. Well, that should be fun." 

The waiter stops by not too long after, and he makes his way around the table to get everyone's order. There's a request for a few more bottles of wine, and then a couple appetizers to get started. The majority of them either get a pasta dish or a chicken entree, but when it comes time for Harry to order his meal, he goes with a bowl of soup. Nothing else. And like, Louis doesn't think it should be that big of a deal if he orders a soup, but ... a bowl is not a large portion. And he hasn't even touched the bruschetta on the table nor poured himself a glass of wine. All he's been drinking is his water in large gulps.

Out of all the days that Louis has been around Harry, the one new thing that he's noticed is his lack of eating. He's not so sure if he's on a new diet or still adjusting to the time change on when he eats, but it is quite concerning that he barely puts anything in his stomach when they're all together. 

It makes sense, however. Harry's lack of eating and the thin frame of his body. It cannot be a coincidence when Harry used to be more muscular and thicker back when they were together. Now his legs are so tiny and small, all long and lean, no meat or muscle. Sure, he grew a few inches over the last three years, but that doesn't explain all his gangly limbs. The Hollywood life is rough, and most celebrities are always on a strict food plan that keeps them healthy and in shape.

But with all the artists that Louis has worked with, none of them were ever so strict as to limit their caloric intake. They always eat something. In between recording sessions or writing songs.They need the energy and nutrition if they plan to perform on stage for hours. Half the time, Louis is the one who orders the pizza and drinks to stop by the recording studio. What he isn't used to is an artist who quite literally does not eat when around the dinner table, when everyone else is. 

Louis knows he's staring, but Harry is too distracted talking to Niall and Hailee that he doesn't feel inclined to look away. Everyone else is occupied with their conversations and refilling their wine glasses. But Louis is too focused on drinking in every inch of Harry that he can see. The clothes hide his body well. Don't exactly frame his thin structure, but Louis can see the slim arms and slender fingers. The sharp cut of his jawline and the frail structure of his face. It's right there in front of him, and he wants to see if Harry actually eats his soup this time or if he simply ordered it just for show. 

"Louis," Someone calls out suddenly, Louis jerking at the sound of the voice. He turns his head away sharply and sees that it's Zayn who is addressing him, a furrowed lift to his brow like he knew exactly what he was doing. Louis' cheek flush a little, and that's only because Zayn drew the attention of everyone else at the table on to him. "What's on your mind?" 

Louis' jaw tightens. "Just ...a bit hungry. You woke me from my nap." 

Gigi shakes her head. "You know what I told you about napping." 

"I was busy this morning," Louis reasons. 

"With what? It's not like you were in the office today." 

Louis rolls his eyes, wadding up a torn off piece of the napkin so he can throw it her way. "I was helping write a song. Thank you very much." 

Gigi makes a face at him. 

"You're writing?" Harry ends up asking, so soft and quiet, barely a whisper. It's almost like he asked it out of curiosity and shock, like it was a question to himself. But when he realizes that he's asked it out loud and others heard him, he flushes a pale pink, head ducking down to his chest as to hide his face. 

"I do," Louis responds, tapping his fingers on the table because he's not so sure how to contain himself. Harry's always been so pretty when he flushes red. Kind of reminds him of a time when he used to make Harry get like that, all hot and bothered. Pink cheeks and glossy eyes. Sweaty skin and shaky breaths. That's a Harry he was once very familiar with. Now the pink cheeks and glossy eyes are followed by uncertainty and embarrassment, a small act to feeling so small and not confident. It's such a stark contrast to what it used to mean for Harry. "Not a lot. I've only helped write a few. Minor things here and there. Eventually I'll have more under my name." 

Harry nibbles on his lip. "That's wonderful." 

The waiter is coming in not too long after to drop off the first round of appetizers. He lets the table know that their entree's shouldn't be much longer. They all gather in quick as they dive in to the food that is already out. There is a house special Ravioli, some type of Italian meatball, and a Caprese salad to share. Louis gets a little of each considering he doesn't eat meals like this quite often. He usually has to go for take-out or quick purchases at the office cafeteria.

On an occasion, he'll get a nice lunch or dinner with his co-workers, but he works too damn much to make time for nice things like this. He does appreciate getting to be here with his friends, even if he has to share the moment with his ex-boyfriend. They usually spend their dinners together at someone's place with a home cooked meal. It's not so bad getting to go out every so often. If Louis just doesn't look a certain way, he can almost forget Harry is even here. He's quiet the majority of the time. Sitting still in his spot and keeping his movements light and minimal. He doesn't reach for any of the food, simply watches everyone else take bits and pieces.

Louis does his best not to make a comment or think too much about it. Again, he only sees half of what Harry is willing to show. There's a good chance he had a big meal after recording earlier today, and that could explain why he isn't as hungry as everyone else. Louis' done that a couple times, but typically he'll reschedule a planned dinner if that's the case. Maybe push it out a few hours or so. Harry scheduling a lunch and not eating at it seems a bit off. Quite strange, and Louis can't seem to put his finger on why Harry doesn't eat his food. He used to love eating. Always would try to sneak a bite off everyone else's plate and hear their groans in complaint. Louis happily shared with him all the time. Never once hesitated. 

That's why he tries his best not to say anything, but sometimes old habits do die hard. 

"H," he whispers to him, trying to remain private. Last thing he wants to do is draw attention to them. Their food is placed on the table, and everyone is occupied with eating their meals and sipping wine. Harry's only stirred the soup a couple times, hasn't even tried it yet. "How's your soup?" 

Harry's eyes widen like he's suddenly caught off guard and cautiously blinks around. No one else is paying attention but Louis, and he slowly glances down at his meal. Smiling, he finally slurps some of the soup off his spoon. "Quite good," he answers. 

"What'd you get?" 

Wow. Louis is a hypocrite. He knows he is. Kind of wishes Harry would call him out on it too. The small talk, he fucking hates it. Yet, here he is, doing it again. 

"It's Gnocchi soup." 

Louis doesn't even know what that means. 

"Want to try some?" Harry ends up asking him. 

"No, I'm good." Louis cuts off a piece of chicken. "Want to try mine? Has a good wine sauce in it." 

Harry smiles appreciatively but shakes his head. "No thank you. I don't eat meat anymore." 

Okay. New fact about Harry he didn't really care for. Maybe that's why he's so skinny. 

"A broccolini then?" 

Harry giggles as he spoons some more soup. "That's a hard one to resist." He puts the spoon to his mouth and slurps the soup. Louis hates that he feels the urge to smile. "I think I can settle for the Gnocchi. Thank you." 

Louis goes back to his meal and leaves it at that. If he catches Zayn or Liam's eyes in the mixture of eating his food, then he completely ignores it. He's not in love. This is him playing nice. 

By the end of the meal, things are going good. Another bottle of wine had been placed on the table, and a few desserts had been ordered. Everything is winding down, and Louis is anxiously waiting for his cheque so he can find an excuse to get out of here. The dinner was lovely. His friends are always fun to be around, but he's had enough of sitting next to his ex-boyfriend for hours and worrying too much about him. He wants to go home and be lazy, especially if he's about to spend another day with him and his band mates. 

After waiting for some time, Louis notes that the waiter hasn't stopped by to pass their cheques around. The wine is near finished, and all the plates have been cleaned up. No one seems in a rush to get things paid for, or to leave, but Louis is not like them. He angles his head back to glance past the double doors that are being guarded and doesn't see a worker in sight. His leg bounces anxiously, and he catches Niall's eye across from him. 

"Have they brought the cheque yet?" he questions. 

Niall blows out a breath, eyes widening in a way that is silently asking Louis to shut up. 

"What?" 

"It's already paid for," Niall tries to whisper. 

"What?" Louis repeats again, quickly jerking his head towards Liam and seeing that he's caught on to the conversation. 

"Thank you Harry for this lovely meal," Liam announces, voice slightly strained, as if this is his warning to Louis. 

"Yes, it was delicious," Sophia agrees, curling her body into Liam's comfortably. Louis' eyes narrow together. "I appreciate you inviting all of us out." 

Harry smiles. "Of course. I wanted us to be together before the craziness of the concert." 

"You didn't have to pay," Louis blurts out unexpectedly, a surprise even to himself. All eyes turn towards him, and the first one he catches are Zayn's, his expression tensed and warning. Louis diverts away from him and looks at Harry instead, realizing that he's not any better. Harry's all scared and frightened, slightly worried and unsure of himself. He twists his fingers together on his lap again, and he looks down, shoulders slouching in what looks like disappointment. Like he did something wrong. 

"I mean, it's probably a lot of money. I could take care of myself," Louis follows up with, not sure if he's eased the tension he just built up. 

Harry looks up and smiles tiredly, eyes dull and sad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to - I just wanted to take you all out." 

Louis winces when Niall kicks him, and he tries his best to put on the most poshest, nicest smile ever. "Thank you. Anyway." 

And that's that. 

Once all the wine is finished, the eight of them stand up from the table and walk through the restaurant. When they get to the front door, all the fans from before have doubled in size. A few employees linger around the door whispering to one another about the sight of outside. There's an influx of people surrounding the building, and paparazzi flashing their cameras when they notice Harry has emerged from the privacy of the back room. His body immediately tenses when he catches sight of everything, and he subtly steps off to the side so he's not in the line of sight. 

"Wow, Harry. That is crazy. All these people followed you here?" Niall questions, shocked, a little breathless. He instinctively pulls Hailee in to his side. 

"They do." Harry swallows, arms wrapping tight around himself as he leans against an empty table. "Some are stalkers I believe." 

The fans begin to scream louder, and Louis' patience for the night is wearing thin. 

"What are we supposed to do?" Sophia wonders. Even she is tucking herself underneath Liam's arm, obviously uncomfortable with the mass of strangers outside the front door. "We can't just walk out there." 

"That's double the people from when we arrived," Louis notes. He walks closer to the door and surveys the area. There's just screaming fans and paparazzi, no police or anyone coming in to take control of the situation. "Bit ridiculous if you think about it." 

Harry sighs, a sadden tilt to the sound. He looks down again. 

"He's famous, Lou. What do you expect?" Zayn asks out loud. 

Louis shrugs, not bothering to look away from the window. "Could've been planned better. If you don't want to be seen, then trust me, you won't." 

"I'm really sorry," Harry is quick to apologize, eyes getting glossy. Louis turns from the window and glances at him, noticing that he's already looking back at him. 

"Harry, it's not your fault," Gigi says as she steps next to Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "You didn't ask for this - " 

Louis cuts that sentence off with a laugh. "Might have not asked for it, but he definitely chose the life for it." 

"Louis," Zayn warns, voice sharp. 

"What are we supposed to do, Zayn? Walk out the front door? Spend the night here? Call the cops?" Louis questions, running through all the possibilities in his mind. "No matter what, there are a bunch of people we don't know surrounding this entire building. All for him - " he points at Harry for emphasis. "They're going to follow us. They're going to follow him. It's not safe for any of us." 

The two guards who had been standing in front of the doors of the private room walk up towards all of them. "We have a car around the back ready." 

Louis laughs again. "Right. And who's getting in that car? I don't expect all of us to fit." 

"It's for Harry," the guard to the right answers, like it's the most obvious thing. 

"And we're supposed to fend for ourselves then?" 

"Louis," Zayn speaks up again, but this time, Gigi grabs his arm and whispers privately, "He's got a point, Z. They know we're here with him." 

The guard looks a little troubled now, glancing between the other one of them and then over to Harry for an answer. 

"We can fit maybe seven if we squeeze in the back," he ends up responding.

"Right." Louis clicks his tongue, eyes trailing across all the bodies in the room. "You all can ride together, and I'll figure it out for myself." 

"Louis," Harry calls out desperately, standing from the table. 

Louis ignores him and walks to the hostess. "Please show me the back exit. I'll call a cab to pick me up there." 

"Wait, we can figure this out," Harry continues.

"Okay, then. Figure it out," Louis responds, waiting for the hostess to point in the direction he needs to go. "However, I'm leaving." 

And then he's walking towards the exit and dialing up the first cab that he can find. At this point, he doesn't even care if he has to walk back to his flat. He's over the day, and he's over being around Harry. 

///

Harry Style's Set List

1. Where Do Broken Hearts Go 
2. Stockholm Syndrome 
3. Light's Up
4. Happily
5. History
6. Sweet Creature
7. End of the Day
8. Ever Since New York
9. Falling
10. Infinity
11. What Makes You Beautiful 
12. Sign of the Times 
13. Olivia 
14. Sunflower Vol. 6
15. Golden

Encore
16. ** New Song **
17. Hey Angel
18. Kiwi

For starters, it's a solid set list. Eighteen songs is quite a show, and on average, it looks like Harry performs for almost up to two hours. His concerts have excellent reviews, and it seems like he's been getting sold out shows all across the stadiums. Louis hasn't done a lot of research, but he can tell Harry is quite successful in what he does. He was born to perform. 

On the other side, Louis can't get a feel for what Harry's tune is. He never really bothered to listen to any of the albums he's produced. Sure, he's caught a few of the popular ones on the radio, but it wasn't enough for him to fully denote everything about Harry's style. Based off the song titles, it seems like Harry is sort of all over the place jumping from a Stockholm Syndrome to a song about fruit. It's nothing Louis has ever heard of before. None of his artist title their songs in such unusual ways. Most of them are typical and standard, not straying away from what is considered normal. 

Maybe that is why Harry is so famous and unique. He names his songs after flowers. 

"Have you lads even listened to his album?" Louis ends up asking out of curiosity. He clicks his phone screen off and sets it on the seat next to him. Currently, he and the boys are riding together to the arena Harry is performing at the next day, and Louis' curiosity got the best of him in wanting to know what the set list will be for tomorrow. 

"I have, yes." Zayn glances in the rearview mirror, making eye contact with Louis briefly before focusing on the road again. 

Louis hums, a bit surprised. 

"I started recently," Liam answers next, angling around from the passenger seat. "I don't know much of his songs though." 

"He's got a new one that everyone is buzzing about," Niall says. 

Louis looks at him. "I saw that on the list." 

"Yeah, he had just released his third studio album so I'm surprised he's already releasing another single." 

Louis' eyes near pop out. "Excuse me ... did you say third album?" 

Three albums in three years. That is not normal. Not even close to being normal for artists. It takes months of preparations, almost a year just to put all the pieces together for an album. Then there is all the promo and tour following the release. In total, it can take up to two years before the wave of excitement from an album release finally dies off, and then maybe an artist might start working on another album. There's just so much work and effort that goes in to it, and Louis couldn't imagine producing an album back to back to back. It's tiring. Borderline work abuse. 

In his line of work, he's seen artist produce an album every one to two years. Never so close together. Harry has been in the industry for three years, and apparently each year he's released something and gone on tour. He's been working non stop since he won the X-Factor competition, and that's about the easiest way to completely drain an artist of their passion and creative ability. The contract he signed must have been a three album contract plus a tour following each one. Maybe that's why he whipped those out so close together so he could finish out with the rest of his label quickly before switching to someone else. Louis has also seen something like that too. 

"Yeah." Niall makes a face at him, slightly concerned to the upward tilt of Louis' voice. "He has three albums already." 

"I think that's why there's a buzz for this new song," Liam adds in, eyebrows raised. "Probably expect a fourth album coming soon. I don't think he's ever performed this song at any of the other shows." 

Louis slouches a little against the seat. "Well, he's been using our studio to record. I bet it's this new song." 

"Have you heard it?" Zayn wonders, glancing in the mirror again. 

Louis shakes his head. "No. Nobody has." 

Silence returns inside the vehicle as Zayn continues to drive to the arena. Louis pulls out his phone again and reads off the list one more time, trying to understand the reasoning behind Harry's song title choice. As a producer and writer, Louis loves to analyze things. That is his favorite part about his job when he gets to look further in the details of written lyrics and understand the meaning behind it all. It's like he gets to see a part of the artist that others don't get to, opening up their book and soaking in all the hidden details they try to keep subliminal.

With Harry, it's a bit different. Considering that's his ex-boyfriend, there is a good chance that the majority of these songs will somehow relate to him or to the past that they shared. A story hidden in between the words of the songs that fans might not interpret, but he and the others will easily pick up on. The thought alone is scary, that there is a possible song out there written by Harry that is about him and their love story. A break up leading in to his first album is perfect to get a song to the charts. The memories he has with all their fiends, it sets up a good story for a fun, catchy song. 

Song one, Where Do Broken Hearts Go. It doesn't take much for Louis to piece this song to their break up. Broken hearts are usually followed by a relationship ending, and not only did his and Harry's end, but so did Harry's and all their friends. This is probably what the song is about, and Louis is quite surprised that it's something he would open his concert up with. Maybe it doesn't sound as sad as what the story is probably trying to represent. 

Song two, Stockholm Syndrome. This just ... Louis has no explanation. Stockholm Syndrome, a condition in which hostages develop a psychological bond with their captors during captivity. There is no indication as to what the hell this song is about. Maybe Harry now has a wild sex life living in this rockstar era, and he's become a lot kinkier than he remembered. It's not like Louis could remember a time that he had tied Harry up and enjoyed it. They never got to explore their sex all that much because by the time they were intimately involved, Harry was jetting off for the comepetition. He sort of regrets that right now. Harry's got a body that would look lovely tied up. 

Anyway ...

Songs three and four, Happily and Light's Up. Could mean anything. Not something Louis finds a correlation to with himself or their past. Song five, History, is more than likely Harry reminiscing on all the moments shared with his childhood friends. There is a lot of history there, some that date back to when they were just barely toddlers running around the front yard. It's kind of sweet to think about, that Harry potentially wrote a song about the history he has with his friends. 

Song six, Sweet Creature, Louis doesn't even want to think about. Is this supposed to be a reference to him, or did Harry find someone else to write a love ballad for? He's not so sure he wants the answer to that one. Both possibilities are quite sickening. 

Songs seven, eight, nine, and ten, he has no idea. Song eleven, What Makes You Beautiful, is quite like song six. Not sure who it's supposed to be about - him, or another possible lover? 

Moving on. 

Song thirteen, Olivia. A female's name. Also a derivative of Olive, or I love you. Is the song about a girl, or is it about an emotion? Louis doesn't know. 

Song fourteen, Sunflower, must be some hippie sort of thing. Probably about Harry in the flowers and getting lost in all his lucid thoughts. When Louis thinks about sunflower being the name of a song, he thinks about someone writing the lyrics while high. He wonders if Harry does drugs. Should find out one day. Song eighteen, Kiwi, must be Harry's lame attempt to make everybody go vegetarian. Or some stupid shit like spreading awareness of eating fruits instead of sweets. Who knows. Again, all of Harry's songs are sort of all over the place, and Louis can't lie and say that he's not interested in listening to the lyrics after he's got his own hypothesis of what the songs could potentially be about. 

Shortly, Zayn is pulling up to the arena and flashing his pass to the guards. Harry had given it to him the night before for them to get access backstage without any issues. Of course, there are fans that linger outside the arena gates, but they seem mostly tame and content with sitting on the ground and not causing too much of a fuss. Zayn parks in the closest spot near the back door, and the four of them get out to be greeted with a guard standing out back. He leads the way inside through the hallway, just in time for Harry to round the corner with a bright smile on his face. 

"Hey, guys," he greets happily. His eyes are shining a little brighter today, and the smile on his face seems real and genuine. Dimples on display. He's a bit sweaty and out of breath, probably just finishing up his last bits of rehearsals for the morning. "You made it just in time. We finished up about a few minutes ago." 

The guard steps away and leave the five of them alone. 

"This is sick, H," Niall is the first to comment, awing at all the stuff backstage. Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Do you want a tour of everything?" 

"Of course," Niall answers again. 

"I would love to," Zayn agrees, glancing over to Liam who also nods his head. 

Harry's eyes drift over to Louis', and his smile wavers just a bit as he waits for an answer. Louis honestly hates how dependent Harry sometimes is on his opinion. He's just here, unwillingly. If he had a choice, he would have stayed home and kicked his feet up, but his friends forced him to come. He has to play nice, once again, to the guy who broke his heart. It fucking sucks, and even when they sometimes have good moments together, it's often followed by a memory of Harry leaving him to become famous. 

Standing inside a giant arena that Harry is about to perform in is definitely one of those strong reminders. 

"Sure," Louis ends up saying, swallowing the bite to his tone and replacing it with something soft and sweet. Even he sounds foreign to his own ears. "A tour would be cool."

Harry perks up again and turns on his heel, leading the way down the hall. "Perfect. I'll show you all the cool stuff, and then you can meet my band. They're pretty awesome." 

They go through a couple rooms that Harry explains are the free spaces. It's usually where they will set up a hair and make up stand, or where the tour food caterer will get items put together for them to eat before the show. THere's a longe in one area, housing a large television and gaming system. It's meant as more of a break room, a place for anyone to come and relax away from the stress of all the pre or after show craziness. They get shown the sound room where all the technical equipment is hooked up and where all the light controls are located. It's kind of cool getting to see where all the magic happens off stage. 

The last stop they make is to Harry's dressing room. He skips over where his band mate's dressing rooms are because he wants to respect their privacy. But he informed he tidied up this morning so that his room is presentable for guest. So he leads the way there and stops in front of the door that has his name plastered across. Stepping inside, the room smells like citrus and herbs. There's a rack of clothes off to the side of the room, next to a vanity and a tall, body length mirror. The clothes range from glittery suits to sequin tops and sparkling boots. The most ostentatious set of clothes Louis has ever seen. A black, furry coat is on a hanger closest to where they are standing, and he briefly wonders if that's something Harry will wear tomorrow tonight. 

Two couches rest in the middle of the room, on either side of a coffee table. The table has a candle and a fake potted plant, very minimalistic and simple. There's not much light in the room save for the candle and the vanity lights, but it definitely is very relaxing and soothing as opposed to the fluorescent light out in the hallway. It's nice. It's very Harry. Quite cozy of a room for Harry to feel like home in before having to step out on stage and be the star that everyone is expecting him to be. It must be nice to have this comfort to come back to. 

After the tour is finished, Harry continues down the hallway and heads out on to the stage. With the arena empty, everything looks so grand. It's a bit overwhelming standing up on something so tall and having a wide view of everything out in front. In about twenty four hours, this place will be packed with fans, and Harry will be in the middle of the stage with the spot light shining on him. Right now, he seems so normal and small, like the young boy that used to throw up before putting on a performance. 

"So, this is my band. Sarah is on drums. Mitch is on the guitar. Adam is on bass, and Claire is the keyboardist." 

Sarah, who is messing around on the drums, sets her sticks down and walks over to join Harry. Mitch, Adam and Claire do the same as well, and the four of them greet all the boys Harry has brought by. 

"These are my old friends," Harry explains to his band, smiling so brightly. It's the happiest he's probably been all week. A moment of merging two versions of his life together. Must feel great to see it happen. Louis, on the other hand, is doing his best not to make a comment. He's been biting his tongue since he was dragged out his apartment this morning. "This is Liam, Louis, Niall and Zayn." 

"Lovely to meet you all," Sarah smiles. 

"I hope Harry has said only good things about us," Niall teases, winking at Adam. 

Mitch makes a face towards Harry. "Actually, he doesn't talk much about his personal life." 

Hm. This is interesting. 

"Really?" Zayn wonders, his eyes naturally drifting towards Louis like he's expecting something to be said. Louis simply presses his lips together and shrugs. They should have known Harry had kept them in his past. 

"I just like to keep things private, you know?" Harry responds, the smile slowly slipping off his face. 

"You know how many times we tried to get this one to talk to us?" Sarah jokes, pinching Harry's arm playfully. "He's very secretive." 

Harry pouts. "I don't try to be." 

"So you haven't talked about us at all then?" Zayn pushes, eyebrows knitted together. 

Louis tries his best not to snort, especially when Harry looks so troubled. 

"No, he has. He has," Adam quickly steps in, like he's trying to save Harry's ass. "Just not much, is what we're trying to say. Maybe with you lot being here we can get some secrets to spill." 

"It's one of our favorite games we like to play," Claire laughs. 

Harry purses his lips. "It's not my favorite." 

"Well, what do you want to know about him?" Louis blurts out asking, arms crossing over his chest. He doesn't even bother to look at the expression on his friend's faces, knowing them well enough they're probably somewhere between cautious and annoyed. 

"Everything." Sarah wiggles her eyebrows mischievously, and Harry blushes. 

"I kind of want to know more about you all, too," Adam notes, a thoughtful tilt to his voice. "It's not everyday we get to meet someone from Harry's past." 

"Why don't we play a game?" Sarah suggests, glancing at Harry. "You said we should play one when we all get together." 

"Yeah, but I didn't mean a get to know me game," Harry complains.

"I want to know you more," Mitch answers, followed by the rest of the band members agreeing. "And your friends. We all know a lot about each other already. It's your turn to open up a little."

"That would be fun," Liam finally speaks, nodding his head towards Niall and Zayn. "We haven't had a good catch up with, H." 

"It'll be sick getting to know you guys, too," Niall adds in, smiling cheekily. "Never actually hung out with a band before." 

Louis slides next to Zayn and whispers quietly to him. "This is not a good idea." 

"Don't make it any more awkward than it already is," he whispers back. 

"So it's settled." Sarah claps her hands together. "Lets play a game. I have these cards that ask questions, and whoever draws it answers it. Keep it simple." 

Harry huffs. "How convenient." 

Unfortunately, Louis also gets dragged into this game as well. It should be fun and simple getting to learn more about Harrys new life and all the the cool things his band members have stories of. But all Louis can worry about are the tough questions, the ones that tie back to their relationship. It's bound to happen. Playing any game that involves questions about your personal life with your ex-boyfriend is destined to lead to drama. 

But, Harry's band mates really seem like they want to play. And they are quite desperate to learn more about Harry.

This isn't the dynamic Louis was expecting when he imagined meeting the band. He thought they would all be super close and have a tight knit relationship that Harry never had with the other boys. But it seems like he's been so closed off and kept a lot of things personal to them. Not sharing an ounce of his true private life aside from what they already blatantly know of him. They probably know nothing about Harry's relationship with Louis, which makes this even more awkward. 

They all gather in the middle of the stage and sit down in a circle. Sarah runs to her purse to pull the card game out  and then gets it set up in the center of their circle. 

"Alright, I'll go first," she announces once she's seated. Drawing the first card, she giggles. "Out of everyone in the room, who do you find the most attractive. Answer or take a drink." 

"It's a drinking game then?" Niall perks up. 

Sarah hums thoughtfully. "I suppose so. But there is no option to drink." She glances devilishly at Harry. "You have to answer everything or you run the stairs of the stadium." 

"Alright then," Harry sighs. "Answer." 

"Fine. I think Zayn is pretty fucking attractive." 

Mitch makes a face and pushes her arm. "Really?' 

Sarah shrugs. "Look at him, babe." 

Oh. So they are a couple? 

Mitch rolls his eyes and draws the next card. "What is the worst kiss you had?" He grimaces at the thought. "I was thirteen. I met some chick under the bleachers of the football field, and I forgot to close my eyes." 

Harry cackles unexpectedly. "You what?" 

"I know," Mitch nods his head, cheeks flushing a bit. "My eyes were open, and I just slobbered all over her. She never spoke to me again."

"He's definitely gotten better," Sarah eases, running her fingers through his hair. 

"I tried tongue and well, I think I choked her a bit." 

Niall covers his mouth to hide his loud laugh. "That's terrible, mate." He's the next to go, so he grabs the top card. "What is your body count?" 

Louis chuckles under his breath. "Oh, let's hear what number he comes up with this time around." 

"Whats that supposed to mean?" Claire wonders. 

"Niall here liked to tell everyone in secondary that he's touched the most boobs and slept with the most girls." Louis glances over at him and winks teasingly. "Such a stud." 

Niall sticks his tongue out a thin. "Alright. Chill. My body count is two." 

"I hope Hailee is included in that," Zayn mumbles under his breath. 

Niall reaches out to kick him. "Yes she is. And she knows about my terrible first timer." 

"Oh, we all have a terrible first timer, huh?" Adam comments, laughing along with the rest of the group and mindlessly nudging Harry, like it's something he could relate to. 

In fact, he can't. His first was Louis, and it wasn't terrible. 

Claire is next to go. "Have you ever had a threesome or wanted a threesome?" Humming, she glances over to Mitch and Sarah. "They've never offered." Her eyes then trail to Adam. "I had one in a dream with him and a stranger. Quite traumatizing." 

Harry giggles uncontrollably. 

"You want to have a threesome with us?" Sarah questions with a grimace. 

"It doesn't hurt to ask, yeah?" 

Sarah rolls her eyes. "Okay, you want to?" 

Zayn whistles loudly, and everyone begins to laugh. Once it dies down, he reaches for the next card. "Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? The answer is no to both."

"You are in a relationship then?" Sarah asks. Mitch shoves her again. 

Zayn smiles brightly. "I am. Been together for about a few years now."  After tossing the card in the trash pile, he turns to Louis, nudging his shoe against him. "Your turn." 

Louis makes a face, and they share a private look with one another. One that reads he would much rather be doing literally anything else right now. But, he grabs the top card anyway, braces himself, and reads off the question. "Have you ever been in love or are you like the rest of the world and only pretended?" He nearly chokes the question out, caught a bit off guard with what it's asking. Tossing the card in the trash pile, he leans back on his arms, staring at his shoes and trying to think of a proper way to answer. "I've been in love," is what he settles with. 

The air thickens immediately after he says it, and he can feel Zayn next to him tensing up. Harry is just a few spots over, and the burning gaze of his green eyes weigh heavy on his body. He's not sure what else he's supposed to say, but it's the truth. They all know he and Harry were once in love. It's not a secret that he's kept hidden. It's not necessarily something he wants to relive, but it was there. What he felt for Harry was real and pure, but it doesn't mean that the feelings are still there. 

Gosh. He knew this game would get awkward. He should have found a way to get out of it. 

"Oh, come on," Sarah complains across the way, rolling her eyes. "That's it? I've been in love, " she mocks pathetically. "Give us something more. Who's the lucky girl? What happened? Why aren't you in love anymore?" 

"How about how you said you loved 'em?" Claire adds as an after thought. 

Louis blows a breath out between his lips, chest expanding. "Right." Clearing his throat, Louis straightens in his spot, doing his best to not look Harry's way. "It was with my boyfriend. We were fucking around with water balloons in my parent's backyard. He was just so silly and stupid. Acting goofier than ever. I hit him in the face with a balloon - " there's laughter that follows - "on accident," he clarifies. "And his entire head was drenched in water. He was pouting. Acting like a sore loser. Eyes super bright underneath the sun, and well, I just said it. Because he was someone who I could love as a best friend and as a boyfriend. Perfect all around. Nothing in the world that I would change it for ." 

Clair coos. "That's so sweet." 

"What happened?" Sarah questions, eyebrows drawn together. She looks way too invested for what Louis is willing to give. 

"We broke up. Grew apart and shit." Louis turns to Liam desperately. "Your turn, yeah?" 

Liam nods his head and grabs a card. "Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't and ended up liking it?" 

Out of the blue, Zayn coughs, his face suddenly heating up. Niall, Louis and Harry's eyes all dart to him, and when his eyes widen in surprise, they all turn sharply to Liam. He laughs nervously. 

"So, funny story." 

"You and Zayn kissed?" Niall nearly squawks. 

"Oh, this is juicy," Adam teases. 

"It was an accident," Liam complains. "We both bent down to grab something, and when we stood up, our lips happened to touch." 

Harry covers his mouth and giggles. "Oh, no." 

"This is rich," Louis smiles wickedly. "Do Sophia and Gigi know?" 

Liam makes a face. "They were there." 

"Even better." 

Adam draws the next card. "Who is the hottest person you hooked up with?" He smiles wickedly. "Selena Gomez." 

Niall gasps and rises up on his knees. "Selena Gomez?" he questions. "She's amazing." 

"You hooked up with Selena?" Harry asks surprisedly, eyes casting towards the other guys in the band. "Did you lot know about it?" 

Mitch shrugs his shoulders. "It happened at an after party. Some award show I think." 

"You had left early for the night," Sarah explains. "We went out to celebrate." 

Harry slouches in his spot. 

"Your turn bud," Adam then says to him. 

Pouting, Harry reaches for a card, and his cheeks flush pink. "How did your first shag go?" 

"Oh, hell yeah," Sarah cheers loudly. 

Claire claps her hands together. "Now we're getting all the dirt on you, Styles." 

Louis rolls his eyes and tilts his head back, staring up at the ceiling and praying that one of those giant lights will fall on top of him. 

"You have to answer," Sarah reminds, her eyes gleaming. "Unless, you don't have a shag story at all?" Mitch shoves her arm, and she raises her shoulders. "What? He could still be a virgin. I don't know." 

Harry nibbles on the inside of his cheek and looks down, fingers playing with the laces of his shoes. "It was with my boyfriend at the time," he answers quietly. Louis' ears are burning right now. 

"Boyfriend, eh?" Adam repeats, lips curving up. "So not a virgin, and not getting around with the girls is what I'm hearing?" 

Niall snorts. "Please, Harry? With girls? Yeah, right. He was such a puppy in love." 

"Alright, Niall," Louis quiets him, eyebrow lifting in warning. 

"Well, give us some more details," Sarah begs. "It was with your boyfriend, and then what?" 

Harry sucks in an unsteady breath, hands now shaking. "Okay. Um. We went to concert together. For my birthday. He got me Fleetwood Mac tickets." 

Louis knows Liam, Niall and Zayn are now looking at him. Something he had always kept private about Harry are the little moments they shared together alone. Like the I love you's and the first time they had sex. That was meant only for them. Not for anyone else to be a part of. Louis never once told them how it all went. Just said it happened, and that was that. 

He's ready for those lights on the ceiling to fall down any second now. 

"We stayed in a hotel room that night since it was a far drive from home. He arranged for room service to drop off champagne and flowers and strawberries. Quite romantic." Harry begins smiling at the memory. "He told me he loved me. Promised us a forever, and then it happened. It was the safest I ever felt with anyone." 

It's awkward now. Louis feels how awkward it is, but only half the people realize it.

Harry's band is so clueless, urging on for more information. Louis feels about frozen in his shoes, scared that with any movement, they'll all be able to pick up on the fact that he and Harry are answering questions about each other. Liam, Niall and Zayn don't make it any better. They're just as stunned as he is, now hearing the truth about a night that was given no details about in the past. It's a sneak peak of just how in love Louis used to be, how vulnerable and romantic he was for the boy. 

To think about it, it's quite embarrassing now. Louis is embarrassed. He was too soft and mushy back then. Always caving in and catering to all of Harry's wishes. 

"And how was the sex?" Mitch wonders. Sarah giggles. "Was he good? Was it bad? No one is ever good their first time." 

"Was it better than all your secret shags over the years?" Claire teases. 

Harry swallows, brows furrowing together in a  disgruntled kitten sort of way. "He's the best I've ever had. The only one I ever had." 

The silence that lingers is deafening, and Louis tries his best not to look up and make eye contact with anyone near him. The band members are soaking in the answer like it's the best thing ever, edging on trying to get more information. It wains weak when Harry smiles and brushes off any further interrogation by handing the next card for Sarah to read out loud. Louis knows his friends are just swarming with a bunch of question, ready for the opportunity to pry their little hands inside their relationship and meadle. 

Everything about he and Harry is a mystery. It's a mystery to himself, and a mystery to his friends. No one knows exactly what happened between the two of them other than there was a break up, and then Harry left. Nothing ended well, and the lads were left with more questions than Louis had answers to. Over the years, they stopped bugging as much about it. Soon, it became a thing in the past. They got over it, and Louis put on the show that he was over it as well. 

But now Harry's back. He's here, and he's a constant presence in Louis' life after being three years absent. Now, he's bringing up old memories, old thoughts and feelings that Louis' has best suppressed to the back of his mind. Things are being stirred, and their friends are becoming a little too invested again, asking questions and trying to fix things that have been long left broken. It's all confusing and stressful, and Louis knows that under any other circumstance, had he and Harry not shared the same friend group, then they wouldn't be trying so hard to get them back together. 

So, Louis does his best to zone everything out. They go another round at picking up cards and answering questions as in detail as they can get. Sarah talks about her wildest sex location, which so happened to be with Mitch. Quite weird to hear about. Mitch talks about his most embarrassing date, which was at the age of sixteen when he got a speeding ticket. Niall answers a question about his worst drunk adventure, and Claire gets something about a wildest fantasy. Zayn gets questioned on his favorite sex position, surprisingly something new he and Gigi tried not too long ago, and then it's back to Louis' turn.  

Regretfully, Louis picks the top card, dreading the question that is to come. "What is your latest hookup story?" he mumbles under his breath, sounding the least bit bored as possible.

And, well, Louis' heart fucking drops into his chest. He knew this game would not be good. It's too personal and too sexual. 

"Alright, I think this game is over." Louis nervously chuckles as he tosses the card on to the ground. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he hugs his arms around his body, eyes glancing over to Zayn for help. 

"Come on," Adam whines, reaching across Liam to rub Louis' shoulder. "We at least gotta make it back around to Harry." 

Claire agrees. "Yeah. Everyone should answer at least two." 

Louis feels panicky. "Right," he sighs, swallowing, stomach churning. "It was over a year ago." 

From the corner of his eye, he can see Harry's jaw tightening, his eyes diverting away from the group to look somewhere off into the distance. He's picking at his skin, fingers nipping at his forearm and mindlessly trying to distract himself of the conversation. Louis avoids fully looking at him, but he knows Niall and Liam are already keeping an eye on him, as if they expect some sort of dramatic scene to occur. 

They're broken up, Louis reminds himself. How he answers shouldn't matter. How Harry feels shouldn't bother him. 

"Give us more," Sarah calls out. "Who was the lucky bloke? Your ex-boyfriend?" 

Louis grimaces. "Not exactly." When the others didn't seem pleased with the answer, Louis continues. "An old friend. We were out drinking." 

"Sounds sexy," Claire wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. 

Harry coughs, and Louis' eyes jerk his way. He's still not looking at them, expression hard and cold. 

"Was he the one you dated when you were younger?" Sarah ends up asking, and that seemed to be the icing on the cake from Harry because he abruptly stands up and excuses himself to use the restroom. 

Niall, Liam and Zayn jerk their heads towards him, and Louis feels a little caught in the headlights. Mitch and Claire are murmuring to one another about Harry's sudden departure, and Liam jumps in to distract Sarah with a question that loses her focus on what's going on. It draws Mitch and Claire in as well, and then Niall joins the conversation too which prompts Adam to chime in as well. It's the distraction Louis needs to make his escape, to run after Harry and see what the hell is up. It's a lot easier for him to do so when his band members aren't trying to pry too much into what's going on and trying to piece together every bit of information that they can. 

Clearly, he made Harry upset, and that got the others to start questioning things. Louis catches Zayn's eye in the midst of the new conversation, and the simple look on his face is enough to urge Louis to get up and run after him. It goes unnoticed as he stands to his feet and follows the same path Harry just left from. He has no idea where he is going or where anything is, but he figures going to the boy's dressing room is a great start. He trusts his friends to distract the band long enough to get some answers from Harry and his brash behavior. 

Upon walking into the room, he sees Harry sitting on the edge of his couch, fingers running through his fringe. At the sound of his arrival, Harry drops his hands and looks up, eyes hardening. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Louis sighs as he shuts the door behind him, stepping further inside. "I didn't mean to - " 

"Didn't mean to what?" he interrupts sharply. He looks and sounds tired. "You didn't mean for me to find out? Didn't want to admit that there really was something going on between you and the one guy I never trusted? Is that what you didn't mean?" 

Louis sucks in a heavy breath, anger now peaking through. "Harry, we're not together anymore, do you not remember? I am single. You can't keep acting like I did something wrong when I didn't. Anything that happened with him was when we were not together. I've been single for years, mind you. I can do whatever the hell I want without running it by you." 

"Yeah, I heard that." Harry slouches against the cushions of the couch and crosses his arms over his chest, getting defensive. His eyes sparkle a little under the light, and Louis notes that it's due to the fact that tears are springing up. "You have made it quite known that you're single." 

An unexpected laugh bubbles out of Louis, quite bitter, no trace of humor at all. 

"Honestly, what did you expect to happen this week, Harry? Just because you came home doesn't change all that has happened between us. You can't expect to come back and think that the last three years of being ignored by you didn't mean anything to me. Pretending and bringing up old memories of us doesn't change the fact that you left and never called. Saying Im the best you've ever had doesn't fix it." 

Harry blows a breath past his lips. A tear finally slips down his cheek. "You give me shit for saying something like that when you said that you wouldn't change anything about us." 

"Because why would I want to change what we once had? We were perfect together. For years, everything with you was amazing. It was the happiest I've ever been. I wouldn't change that." Louis swallows, feeling his words getting choked up in his throat. "I would change the fact that you fucking broke my heart and left me like I meant nothing to you." 

Harry straightens up in his spot and angles towards Louis, brows knitting together. "Broke your heart?" he questions like it's the most absurd thing he ever heard. 

"You know - I've been trying to place nice with you all week - " 

"You haven't been nice at all," Harry interrupts, rising to his feet. "You been a complete wanker." 

"Right. Because you're my fucking ex-boyfriend, and you're the last person I want to be spending time with." 

The words hurt and sting. He can see it reflect on Harry's expression, but he means it. Being here with him is hard and brining up unwanted feelings that he's not ready to address. Playing pretend and acting like the past never happened is something Louis is not willing to do. Harry broke his heart and left him behind. Nothing about that deserves any remote kindness from Louis. He deserves to be angry and pissed, and he deserves to be an ass to Harry. 

Before any more damage could be done, Louis leaves, slamming the door on his way out and leaving Harry all alone in his room. If he could fucking get through the concert tomorrow, then he will no longer have to deal with his ex-boyfriend ever again. 

///

"Harry, hold up." Louis rushes from around the corner and grabs Harry's arm, gently turning him around so they can face each other. The smile on his face is blinding, and it hasn't gone away since Louis drove up to surprise him for his final performance. 

Things have been rocky since Harry passed through bootcamp of the X-Factor. He's forced to stay on site with all the other contestants, and he doesn't get much free time to go home and visit his friends or family. Often times he's doing something with the competition, and the schedule that they have him on keeps it very hard to ever get on his phone. He and Louis haven't talked as much as they would like, as much as they are used to. They usually have face time calls in the middle of the night because that's the only free time Harry gets, but even then it's difficult because they're both so tired to even keep on the call. 

So, these past few months have been tough on them. Harry's gotten to visit once, but he was strictly told to be near his family. Louis saw him in passing, and it was hard to hold back all his urges when there were cameras following his boyfriend everywhere. Now that Harry is in the finale, Louis figured he would come up to surprise his boy. It's a big night for him, and he wants to be there when Harry wins it all. His mum and sister were able to attend, and it took great effort for them to sneak him through. The competition is very strict on who they let back stage with the contestants, and they typically only allow direct family. Not even Liam, Niall, or Zayn were allowed to come up. 

Amongst Harry, there is a boy band and a female solo singer. These three contestants have remained the most popular throughout the whole competition so it's not a big surprise they are the finalist of the show. However, there's not a lead on who could possibly win. All of them are great, and they each have something unique they bring their performances. The boy band has great vocals, able to range their voices from high to low and know how to put on a stellar performance. The female singer is lovely, voice so angelic and soft like honey. Harry always thought she was the best one out of everyone, and he has high expectations of her taking home the title.

And then, him. Harry.

He thinks he's a good singer, but he's still not so sure what it is that got him to the end. He's seen tweets and post about his looks and curls getting him all his votes, that his voice is too young and lacks the development to be an X-Factor winner. Then he sees some fans defending his vocals and the thick, rasp to his voice, how he's able to expand his range and hit a lot of the high notes that not even the guys in the boy band could. It's a bunch of mixed reviews, but he hopes that his looks and his smile aren't the only reasons why he's still here. 

"How are you feeling?" Louis asks once he gets Harry close to him. His hands are shaking a bit so he gently laces their fingers together, cautiously scanning across every feature on his boys face. The smile is still there, but he's nervous. Louis can feel it. 

"I think I might throw up." 

Gently, Louis presses a hand to the side of Harry's cheek, caressing him softly. Harry relaxes in to the touch, eyes slipping shut. "You know you have what it takes to win it all, right? You're so fucking amazing. A voice that is meant to be heard across the world."

Green eyes open up, and they shine underneath the light. "You have to say that to me," he chuckles weakly. 

"No, I don't. I say it because I mean it." Louis smiles as he squeezes the hand he's still holding on to. "The hard part is already over, love. The performance tonight doesn't matter. It's just for fun." 

Harry blows out a big puff of breath past his lips, chest expanding slowly. "I wish you could stand on that stage with me. It sucks being alone out there." 

"I'll be right here where you can see me. Just as close I can be." 

Harry blinks, a stray tear building up in the corner of his eye that slowly rolls down his cheek. "You promise?" 

"I promise." Leaning in, Louis presses a kiss to his lips, savoring the way they so easily connect. It's been months since he's last gotten to do this, but it feels so natural to have their mouths slot together, like they're meant to be. Two puzzle pieces that slide together perfectly, a lock and key. Louis loves kissing Harry. 

After they pull apart, Louis lets go of Harry, ushering him to get ready for his next performance. "Good luck." 

"I love you, Louis." 

His lips tilt up. "I love you, too, baby."

Harry blows a kiss his way and then turns around to head on to the stage for his final performance on the show.

As the hours pass, Louis remains off to the side watching Harry run on and off stage. He has a solo performance and then one with all the contestant. A few old competitors that got kicked off weeks prior make a guest appearance, and it's a long drag of entertainment until it finally boils down to who's winning the show. Everything passes by in blur, and then Harry is standing in the middle of the stage with a spotlight shining down on him. The boy band is to his left, and the female solo act to his right. Louis can see enough from his spot off the side of the stage, but he occasionally glances at the television in front to catch a better view of Harry's features whenever the camera pans in on him. 

Anne and Gemma are in close behind him, and they all huddle in as the host of the show makes her way to the center of the stage.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome back to the X-Factor," she introduces, the cheer of the crowd echoing behind her. "We now have our last three finalist up on the stage tonight, and we are moments away from seeing who you guys voted for to win it all." Stepping off to the side, the hostess angles her body so she can present the remaining three, starting with the band. "We have our Australian boyband, Connection. Then we have two solo acts in the finale, Mr. Harry Styles and Amelie Grayson."  

The crowd continues to applaud for the contestants, and the buzz of the third place titlement is on full swing. From afar, Louis can see the small twitch in Harry's smile that only appears when he's holding back on his nerves  His foot is tapping anxiously to the ground, and his hands are pressed behind his back and toying with the ends of his shirt as to keep his mind distracted. He looks around the arena like he wants to focus on one thing, but the blinding lights and the loudness of the audience prevents him to remain calm. He's breathing shakily, and small droplets of sweat line the top of his forehead. 

Louis wishes more than anything he could run out there and comfort the boy. It's hard being up there all alone, especially when he's the youngest contestant in the finale. 

"Alright," the hostess says once the crowd calms. She walks to the edge of the stage and keeps her body open, angled both towards the contestants and to the judges ahead of the stage. "Now, in third place - " the lights dim low, and there's a low thrum of a beat playing through the speakers. The stage turns a dark red hue, and everyone holds their breath while the few seconds of the dramatic pause passes. 

"Connection," she eventually answers, and the light focuses on the boyband who are now hugging one another. 

A huge breath relieves its way out of Harry, and he bends over just a little so he can catch his breath. It's a fifty-fifty chance at this point. He'll either come in at second, or he'll be announced the winner. It's all so surreal as he remains on the stage while the boyband is being guided off, taking their third place title in pride and wishing the last two contestants good luck. Harry's ears are ringing at this point, and he's not so sure he knows how to contain the mix of emotions inside his body. His heart is already racing in his chest, beating at an uncontrollable rate. 

The hostess is currently talking to Amelie, trying to gauge how she's feeling and having her answer a few questions. Harry uses the moment to focus on his breathing, trying to shift the weight between both his legs so he can keep the blood flowing in his body. His head is quite woozy, chest tight with a pressure he's not familiar with. Briefly, Harry glances off the stage to catch his family. He easily spots Louis in the crowd of people that are bustling around, and the softness of his blue eyes and the brightness of his smile is enough to calm him. Just in time too as the hostess focuses her attention on to him now. 

"Harry, you are one of the last two remaining contestants of this competition. How are you feeling right now?" 

Harry blinks, follows Louis' advice of taking in a deep breath, and then chuckles nervously. "Speechless." 

"You are the youngest contestant to have ever made it to the finals in the history of the X-Factor," she comments, and the crowd follows with cheers. Harry blushes pink. "What does this mean for your singing career?" 

Taking another deep breath, Harry calculates the thoughts in his mind. Glancing ahead, he spots the judges looking directly at him. "I definitely think this is just the start for me. I never imagined myself making it this far with how young I am, but I will forever be grateful of the guidance from all the judges. Age shouldn't matter when it comes to chasing your dreams, and I'm glad that I never let that affect me. No matter what happens tonight, I'll continue to sing. This won't be the last of me." 

"Sounds wonderful." The hostess returns to her spot at the edge of the stage. "Now, the moment we have all been waiting for. The winner of this season's X-Factor competition is ... " the lights dim low again, and the pause this time is much longer. Harry's eyes slip shut, and he counts slowly in his head to keep his breathing leveled at a steady pace. He's got a bright light shining down on him, and not too far away is Amelie. The silence between announcing the winner is long and deafening, and Harry's about ready to collapse to the ground from the build up of waiting when finally, the winner is announced.

"Harry Styles!" 

It's all a blur when it happens. The confetti shooting off. The balloons falling from the ceiling. Amelie coming over to hug him. There are tears running down his face, but he can't even process what it is that's making him feel emotional. Everyone is cheering and clapping, and he's soon getting bombarded by his family and Louis. His ears are ringing inside his head, and all he can make out is the static sound of white noise. People are talking and congratulating him, but the adrenaline pumping through his veins right now keep him from actively focusing on one thing around. 

There is a big celebration that passes by as quickly as it appears, and Harry is eventually being ushered off the stage when the credits of the show have rolled. He's already being told a million and one things about what winning the competition means, but none of it sticks to him when all he can see are his boyfriends blue eyes staring at him. It's been a long couple months of being apart, and finally, they can be together again. He can have Louis' arms around him, be suffocated with his smell and love. It's all Harry has been looking forward too since bunking at the X-Factor house, and that's the first person he goes to when he's freed from the stage. 

Mindlessly, Harry walks right too him, burrowing deep against his chest and snuggling his nose against Louis' neck. It's instinct the way Louis' arms encompass his body, tucking in tight around his waist. There's a lot going on right now, too many people talking in his ear and offering things he's not ready to listen to. But standing there in Louis' arms is what he needs. This moment of just the two of them, hugging, being together alone, that's his real prize. 

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You know that?" Louis whispers against his ear, pressing a kiss there. 

Harry smiles as he pulls back, eyes glossy and wet. Louis smiles as he dabs away some tears that have rolled down his cheek. Gosh, he's missed Louis' hands on his body. Could have them somewhere on him for forever. 

"I can't believe I won, Lou. I didn't think I would." 

Rolling his eyes, Louis scoffs. "As if, love. You're a star, remember?" Harry giggles when he leans in to rub their noses together. "I got you something." 

"A present?" Harry perks up, grinning widely. 

"I knew you were going to win tonight and what it means moving forward so I - " Louis pauses as he draws back out of Harry's hold so he can reach in his jeans pocket. A black box, square and velvet, he pulls out and hands it over to Harry. Carefully, Harry opens the lid of the box up, unveiling a silver ring with a blue zircon gemstone attached. 

Harry pulls it out and twists it around between his fingers, awing at the piece of jewelry. "Louis. It's so beautiful."

"It's pretty cheesy, but that's my birthstone," Louis explains, reaching out gently and helping slide the ring on Harry's finger. "I figured that with everything that's about to happen, you can always have a piece of me with you. At all times." Harry sniffles, and his shimmering green eyes blink up. Louis smiles as he cups the side of his face, fingers brushing through his curly hair. "It's also like a promise of sorts. That I will always be with you. No matter what happens, it's you and me against the world, darling." 

"This almost sounds like a proposal,'" Harry teases, biting his lip.

"Well, call it a pre-proposal then." 

Again, the sharp sound of the front door opening up and slamming back against the wall jolts Louis from his nap. He really should consider changing his locks if his friends are going to keep coming over unannounced. 

Groaning, he lifts his head off the back of the couch, turning to glare at the figure in the doorway. "What?" 

It's Liam who is standing there, waving his phone in the air. "Been calling you for about ten minutes now, mate." 

"Okay?" 

"The concert, Louis. Did you forget?" 

Louis lets out a big huff and reaches for his phone on the coffee table. Sure enough, he's got plenty of missed calls and unread messages from his friends. The most recent one reading that the limo is out front of his apartment complex. 

"I did not forget," he mumbles under his breath, slowly rising from the couch. His anxiety had been running high all morning, and he's actually been dressed and ready to go for the past three hours. Falling asleep was on accident. Dreaming about Harry was just plain rude. 

"Don't tell me you're still in a mood?" 

Louis rolls his eyes as he grabs his wallet and keys and walks past Liam out the front door. "You know I'm always in a mood after a nap." 

"I mean in a mood still from yesterday." 

Ah. Yes. The lovely venue tour that ended with playing a game that involved very sexual questions. A great thing for two exes to participate in.  

Louis didn't think it through when he stormed out the venue only to have to call a cab to come pick him up since he rode with the other guys. Even worse when he had to text them saying he left, without giving them any further explanation. They probably put the pieces together fairly fast. 

"Let's not talk about it. I'm going to the bloody concert, right?" 

Liam lets out a breath, but he does nod in agreement. Without pushing any more, he locks the front door of Louis' place and leads the way out the complex. 

The limo is waiting alongside the curb when they walk up, and Louis is already making a face as he gets inside the vehicle. Everyone else is already inside, waiting, ready for the concert - Gigi, Sophia, Hailee, Niall and Zayn. Louis slides in to the middle bench of the limo, and Liam follows behind and takes a spot next to Sophia. They all get comfortable in their seats, and the driver takes off towards the concert stadium. Louis doesn't hesitate to pop open the closest bottle of wine he can reach, doing his best to keep the annoyed expression on his face. 

He knows he failed miserably when Zayn catches his expression. 

"What's on your mind, Lou?" 

"You looked thrilled to be here," Gigi teases. 

Louis finishes off the rest of his glass and sets the bottle into the holder on the side of the limo. "I'm still trying to figure out why we have to ride around in a bloody limo." 

Zayn shrugs. "It's classy." 

"Free booze, too," Niall calls out happily, raising the glass of wine he's already drinking from. 

Louis huffs. 

"So, I see you're flying solo tonight then?" Hailee questions, eyebrows raised in interest. 

Louis takes a long sip of his drink. "I am." 

Hailee hums, trying to seem passive. She's not fooling anyone. She's definitely a pryer. "What, did Luke turn you down?" 

"He probably didn't want to deal with Harry singing love songs about Louis on stage," Niall whispers into the next sip of his drink. Louis narrows his eyes at him, hoping that his stare can be enough to shut him up. 

"I didn't bother to ask him," Louis responds, slowly dragging his eyes from Niall. 

"So, let me get this straight," Zayn jumps in, his lip curving up. Louis is already dreading what he's about to say without knowing what's about to come out his mouth. "You chose to hang out with Harry every single day this week, even had a secret little rendezvous with him - agreed to come to this concert, and decided to not bring an old flame with you to the show?" 

Louis nods his head slowly. 

"And you want me to believe that you're not still in love with him?" 

Gigi smacks her lips together. "Zayn, come on." 

"For the record, you lot dragged me everywhere with him this week," Louis clarifies.

Zayn actually laughs loudly. "I don't remember threatening you. It was your choice." 

"S' not like you ever listen to us with anything else. You have a mind of your own, I swear," Liam adds as an after thought. 

Louis' features harden, but they did make a valid point. If he really didn't want to go to all the plans they had with Harry, he probably could have easily found a way out. Which, he didn't. He went to everything - complained a lot, but he still showed up. His friends pestering normally does not affect him like this. He's good at ignoring them. Typically. What the fuck is he supposed to do with that information?

"Guys, stop meddling," Sophia cuts in, voice soft as ever. "They're broken up. Clearly for a reason. Every time we all get together, nothing good happens between the two of them. Can't we for once try to keep things civil for a change?" 

"There's no way things will be civil tonight. You're right, nothing ever good happens. Remember when Niall outed Louis and Luke in front of Harry," Hailee notes, nudging Niall next to her. Louis groans. 

"Or when he shouted that he's single and he could care less about how Harry feels," Liam adds with a shake to his head. 

"My favorite is when Louis turned off the scary movie for him," Zayn admits with a wicked smirk. 

"I liked when Louis snuck away with Harry and took him to the foundation for his new label," Gigi comments with a laugh. 

Louis looks appalled. "How do you know about that?" 

"Oh," Niall joins, jerking up. "How about when Louis and Harry had to answer questions about their relationship?" 

Liam groans. "Gosh. That was horrid. He brought up Luke again."

Hailee purses her lips together. "Is that what happened yesterday?" she glances over to Louis. "I heard that you two had another row." 

Louis huffs, now getting frustrated. "You know, you all are starting to piss me off with Harry. I'm not the bad guy here. He's the one who left me. I shouldn't have to listen to you all try to get us back together because it's not going to happen. Fuck off with that thought, okay? I'm single. Whoever I fuck around with doesn't matter. If I hurt Harry's feelings, it doesn't matter. I could have brought Luke to piss him off, but I didn't, okay? And it's not because of whatever the bloody hell you think is the reason why. I'm just over it. I'm done with seeing him, and I'm done talking to him. After today, fuck Harry. I could care less what he does after this. I tried to power through everything with you lot, but I'm done. This is it." 

The silence that follows is tensed and awkward, and Louis is sitting right in the middle of it. He knows he's causing a scene and creating a bad mood before the show, but he's tired of listening to all his friends act like Harry leaving him didn't mean anything. It did. It fucking meant everything to him. They were in love. They were going to get married, but it all went to shit when Harry won the X-Factor. Everything still hurts to this day, and his friends pretending like this sucks. 

Louis is single. He and Harry are broken up. They are not friends. They are not lovers. If Louis wants to have a boyfriend or find someone to fuck around with, then he should be able to. His friends shouldn't be looking at him like he's doing the worst possible thing in the world. There is no longer a HarryandLouis. It's Louis, and then there is Harry.

"I'm sorry," Louis says after awhile. He sets his glass in a cup holder and runs his fingers through his hair, brushing away all the stress that suddenly crashed in to him. "I didn't mean to throw a fit. I just - I swear you guys forget how much it hurt me when Harry left." 

"No, you're right," Liam speaks up, eyes softening. "As much as we loved seeing you two together, it's a different life we're living in. Harry chose his bed, and now he has to lay in it." 

"You had every right to act like a tit to him this week," Hailee tackles on, smiling. Louis snorts. "I am happy you're here though. And not for any reason that involves Harry."

"Let's just try to have a good night," Louis suggest with a heavy breath. "I'll stay away from Harry and keep my mouth shut. I don't want to ruin it for you guys."  

They all grab a glass full of wine and clink it together in the middle. The tension dissipates, and they're back to having a good time together. 

The drive towards Wembley is shy under an hour from the traffic. They cycle through all the different songs Harry released and pop open another bottle of champagne to loosen their bodies a little more. By the time they arrive through the back gates of the arena, there is a steady buzz going around, the awkwardness and tension from before long forgotten. Louis feels good and he's having fun, not so much worrying or thinking about Harry and all the complications that surround their relationship. He's hoping he can keep this up as they enter the building and actually see him. It's already going to be a long night, and Louis actually doesn't want to make it any more complicated than the previous days have been. 

Their group is led by a security guard through the private lot and inside the building. Fans and paparazzi are surrounding the entire area and screaming loudly when they arrive. Everyone is asking them questions, taking pictures and videos - definitely not anything they are ever used to. The amount of attention they are drawing to the group is discerning, and the strong level of discomfort only dissipates once everyone is finally safe inside the building, the door closing silencing the roar of all the fans outside. 

They get led into the break room that Harry showed the day before. It has two sections, one area where the mini bar and buffet are set up, and the other with lounge couches. Anne, Gemma and Robin are inside when they enter the said room, passing around champagne flutes and cheering when they notice the group. Even Harry's grandparents and direct relatives are there. Louis has a tight lipped smile as his family circles around the group and offer everyone hugs, welcoming them with warm smiles and champagne flutes to join in on the celebration. It's awkward when Louis gets his round, but everyone acts friendly enough to where he doesn't necessarily feel like bolting out the room. At least there is no resentment in the family. 

"I'm glad everyone could make it out," Anne says once everyone has been greeted. She raises her flute in the air, and the rest follow. There's a bright smile on her face as she scans the room. "Tonight is a special one, and I'm glad all of Harry's loved ones can be here to see him off before he's on a break. I know he's just over the moon to perform in front of everyone." 

"To Harry," Gemma follows with, eyes dancing over to Louis. She winks, lips curving in to a smirk. Louis rolls his eyes away, sipping his champagne, the liquid warming his bones. Of course, when the chatter takes off after the toast, she steps away from the crowd, idly walking her way towards Louis with a certain type of gleam in her eye that he is already dreading. 

"So," she hums as she gets closer, bumping him on the shoulder. Louis makes a face, unimpressed, and chugs down the rest of the champagne. "What happened to bringing a date?"

Louis groans, leaning his back against the wall and hoping that someone would come save him. For gods sake, this is his ex-boyfriend's older sister, crowding him in the corner, surely about to interrogate him in to oblivion. It's always been one of Gemma's favorite pass time. 

"If there's one thing I've learned this week is that bringing up our past doesn't work well for us." 

Gemma raises an eyebrow. "How so?" 

"Well, I'm sure you heard about Luke." 

She snorts, taking a sip, head shaking. "Got an ear full, mate." 

"Figured," Louis snorts. He needs a refill, but the bottles of champagne are near Anne, and she's going on and on about how proud she is of Harry. That's the last conversation he wants to walk in on. Better to stay stranded here with Gemma. "You heard about the dinner we had then?" 

"Of course." 

"And yesterday?" 

"I hear it all." Gemma smiles, eyebrows wiggling in a teasing way. "Even when you dodge a scary movie for the sake of my brother." 

Louis' cheek flush, but he tries to play it off. He knows he fails when Gemma has a knowing look on her face. "I try to play nice and then I fuck it up. Typical. You know?" 

"Oh I know. It's been an ongoing three years of your fuck up." 

"What?" Louis cocks his head towards her, not sure where she's going with this. "My fuck up?"

"Hey, Lou," Liam calls out, huddled with the rest of their group, distracting him from Gemma. There's shot glasses being passed around, and Louis sees a bottle of tequila in Sophia's hand. Thank god, he can finally escape this dreadful conversation. "Come take a shot with us." 

Louis smiles at Gemma and then proceeds to join his friends. The liquid of the tequila runs through his body a lot smoother than the champagne. 

Soon, another security guard is stopping by their room, and they get escorted through the back stage corridors. In passing, there is a room with a bunch of cheering, probably where Harry and the band is preparing to go out on stage. The opening act is just now finishing up, and the group is lead over to a special area of the arena, a secluded VIP section away from the crowd and up on their own private platform. It's off side to the stage, where they have perfect view of the performance and where fans can easily glance up at them. Everyone cheers when they walk out, lots of flashing lights and screaming in their direction. 

Upon sitting in the box, there is a waitress already taking orders and getting them cared for. They start with another round of shots and then settle with a drink to nurse throughout the beginning of the show. The arena continues to chatter loudly and cheer at the anticipation of Harry coming out any minute. When it comes time, the lights go out for a moment, everyone screeching, and then the spotlights are flashing like strobe lights. There is the first strum of a guitar that echos into the building and then the tinkling keys of a piano following behind. Fog erupts from the ground, and the strobe lights settle into one spotlight center of the stage where Harry is walking out, all shiny boots and flashy outfit that shimmer under the light. 

Then he starts to sing, voice so raw and raspy, deep and angelic in a way that Louis has almost forgotten. 

Counted all my mistakes and there's only one. 
Standing out from the list of the things I've done 
All the rest of my crimes don't come close
To the look on your face when I let you go

The energy in the stadium is at an all time high. The fans jumping around and singing just as loud as Harry, almost drowning his voice in light of their own. Harry on stage is a sight to behold. He's so energetic, dancing around carefree and interacting with the crowd like they're his personal friends. Louis knew Harry was famous, but he never considered just how famous he actually is. The entire stadium knows every lyric to his song. Everywhere he looks or points, they go ballistic. People calling out his name, holding up signs, recording him or dancing just as silly as he is. It's wonderful to watch, and there is this moment inside of Louis where he's filled with pride, happy that Harry has done well for himself - that he's overcome all the fear and insecurities of being on stage and now performing without a care in the world. 

Louis remains in his seat for the first song, not entirely sure what else he's supposed to be doing. The lyrics and the tune are catchy, and Louis is pretty content nursing his pint and enjoying the company of his friends. They seem to know the song more than he does. Gigi and Sophia are up on their feet dancing together, swaying their bodies and singing out with the crowd. Liam has his phone out recording, and Zayn is doing what he is with sitting and enjoying his beer. Hailee is talking with Gemma, but they're both standing and nodding their heads to the beat. Anne and Robin are wrapped around each other, swaying, hugging one another. 

Only the first song in, and everything about the show is already something they have never experienced before. Louis has watched many concerts in his life. It's what he does with his job and catching on to new acts. But none of them, not even the ones who have years of experience ahead of Harry, can put on a performance like this. 

It takes about two hours for Harry to perform through the majority of his songs, in mixture of his silly comments and goofy jokes. About midway, he gives a shout out to his friends and family sitting in the VIP box, and they get the spotlight shone down on them for all the audience to see. He even introduces the band as well, praising himself for being the one to get Mitch and Sarah together, his proudest accomplishment. There is a small break before the Encore where Harry and the band run off stage. The roar of the crowd doesn't silence at all, they continue to scream and sing one of Harry's songs that he didn't perform tonight. It's not one that Louis is familiar with at least, but it must be a popular one if the crowd is chanting and singing it, almost like a request for him to play it.  

Once the break is over, the band is rushing back on stage. The music doesn't start just yet, and if Louis remembers correctly, this is supposed to be the debut of the new song Harry's been working on. The one he's used the recording studio for. Louis is quite interested to know what it is. It's the only one on the set list that didn't have a name so he didn't have any chance to interpret what it could possibly mean. So far, he feels pretty fifty-fifty about what he assumed the songs would be about. After hearing the lyrics of a few, he definitely was surprised about how far off his interpretation could be. 

"We're back," Harry announces into the microphone, giggling when everyone cheers. The spotlight shines on him, everything else dimmed low. "Since tonight is a special one, my last show before break, I wanted to introduce a new song I've been working on. It's personal, and I hope you like it. This is If I Could Fly."

In the midst of the speech, there is a piano rolled to the side the stage, and Harry walks over to it once he announces the song. The spotlight follows him and shines down on his body as he takes a seat on the bench. Relieving in a big breath, Harry's eyes shut, a brief moment of pause before he's tapping the keys on the piano. 

For a second, Louis holds his breath, heart racing in his chest when Harry's voice echoes through the arena, all pure and soft, like a whisper of a secret he's been holding in for so long. 

If I could fly
I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might
Give up everything just ask me to

Pay attention I hope that your listening
Because I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless 

For your eyes only
I show you my heart

It's a masterpiece. The openness of the lyrics. Straight from the heart and raging with emotion that Harry is willing to present for the world. It's overwhelming to listen to, and having all of their friends looking directly back and forth between him and Harry on stage is causing Louis' body to tingle. The song is about him. It's about the want and the pain that Harry has felt because of him, because of their three year long separation. The spotlight is on stage, centered on Harry's body, but somehow, Louis feels like it's on him, stripping him bare in front of all these people. Does the crowd know that this is about him? Do they have any speculation to the kind of love that he and Harry once had that would emit him to write a song so powerful? 

Louis feels like he's gonna be sick. 

His friends are murmuring all around him, even Anne and Gemma. Like putting two pieces of a puzzle together. When Harry's voice cracks mid song, mid lyric, Louis' eyes water. The emotion swarming through him, the influx of all the memories he and Harry share invade his mind, and it's too much. He can't sit there and listen to Harry sing this song about him, about their love, like it doesn't bother him. It does. More than anything. All eyes are on him, or it feels like it is - like he has a sign plastered above his head that screams ex-boyfriend right here. 

He's panicking, and when Zayn leans in to press a hand to his back, he flees. Jolting up out of his chair, nearly spilling the beer on his pants and running back through the corridors.

///

Minutes pass. Almost feels like hours with the way Louis is pacing back and forth in Harry's dressing room. The concert is still rolling, the last song now being played, and Harry's voice ringing through the arena. Louis can hear it so clearly, so loud, the only thing running in between his ears. It doesn't help calm him at all, only furthers the inner turmoil that is going on inside him. 

The thing about the new song is that Harry wrote it. Within a week of being home. He wrote it and used Louis' recording studio to complete it. This wasn't a song that had taken months of preparing for. The truth behind the song is that he came home, he spent time with family and friends, and he saw his ex-boyfriend again. After three years, and this is the product of everything. It's about him - about his relationship with Louis. 

How the hell is he supposed to recover after that? There are so many things still left unsaid between them, so many lingering thoughts and feelings. This one song simply confuses it all, creating a tangled mess of all things Louis never got closure on. 

The show had been wonderful. Lovely. Harry is a performer. But his songs. His lyrics. There are things about it that Louis cannot understand, cannot decipher the ulterior meaning behind certain words and themes of the songs. Everything was personal and from experience, some tied to him and their past and some tied to the new life Harry is living. It's all concerning and intriguing, but overall, he's fucking confused about it. 

Once Harry finishes, Louis has a heart stopping moment when he realizes they are about to see each other. The band is still closing off with the final cords of the song, and the crowd is cheering loudly. Harry's voice is heard echoing down the hall, his heels clicking and ringing a loud sound into the room Louis is hiding in. His back is currently to the door, and he stops his pacing long enough to catch his breath, staring at a box of rings resting atop the vanity that's at the far end of the room.

What if all the rings he's ever bought for the boy are there? What if ...

The door opening cuts through his thoughts, all concerns about the blue Zircon ring long gone. Instead, Louis stiffens, his nose infiltrated with the strong scent of honeydew and rosewater, Harry's wonderful smell. Looking up, Louis catches his eye in the reflection of the mirror, calculating his moves, watching as he steps through the room towards the vanity in front. He removes his ear piece, setting it in the drawer and withdrawing all the rings he's currently wearing on his fingers. No blue zircon ring seen yet.  

"Quite the show," Louis starts with, swallowing, breath hitching when Harry turns around. His lips are tightly pressed together, green eyes unsure as they glance down to the ground, his shoes crossing over one another. Louis can tell that he's nervous, and quite frankly, he feels pretty nervous too. He's not so sure how to go about this, how to get the details about the new song he sung tonight. "You have some solid bops." 

Harry's lip twitch, but it's shy of a smile. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear before crossing his arms over his chest. "What'd you think of them?" 

"Lyrically?" Louis checks, waiting for Harry's nod. "Well," pursing his lips, Louis strolls around the couches, keeping his eyes locked on Harry's frame. "Where do Broken Hearts Go is a stellar opening song. Lyrics allude to a break up, not sure how to move on from it. Kind of like Happily, always thinking about what the other is doing since the break up, I suppose?" 

Harry's nose crinkles. 

"History. I liked it. Soft and reminiscent. Kind of made me think about all the trouble the lads and us got in to back in the day." Louis smiles despite all the nerves running through his veins. He's one step closer to Harry, a couch behind his body that he leans against. "Lights Up seems like a story you're trying to tell the world, something about yourself. Kind of like a secret you want to share. Similar to End of The Day, that maybe the narrative surrounding you isn't what it's supposed to be. Seems like you're pretty obvious about that, huh?" 

"Maybe," Harry mumbles under his breath. He still hasn't looked up from the ground. 

"I thought Stockholm Syndrome was about some new kinky thing you had. I'm still debating it, but I am considering it's more about the restraints you wear with your label and management," Louis continues. Harry hums, a small sign of agreeing. "Sweet Creature is just blatantly about me. Not to sound narcissistic, but it reminded me of when we first got together. Young love, if you will. And Sunflower. I remember how we used to dance in the kitchen together and just feel so carefree with each other. It's nice." Louis steps away from the couch, walking towards the clothes rack and mindlessly sorting through all the shiny outfits that are hung. "All your songs are good, Harry. Everything about it reminds me of something of your past or something you want to tell about the life you have now."

Once he's gone through all the outfits, he steps away, lingering in front of Harry. His green eyes are beginning to shimmer. "I was in here, but I heard Hey Angel. And Kiwi - which, Kiwi is quite the rockstar song. N idea what it means, but it was fun. I bet everyone was having a blast out there."

"What'd you think of Hey Angel?" Harry questions, voice cracking. 

Louis blows out a breath of air. He hasn't had much time to think about the lyrics because his mind was still processing to the new song, but he heard enough. A few lyrics stuck out like a sore thumb for him, and it's adding to the list of things that concern him.  

"I think ... this world you're now living in is fucked up." Louis blinks, catching Harry's eyes. "And I worry about what's been happening to you all these years for you to write a song about talking to angels. That's quite ... intense." 

Harry blinks, and all the tears he's been holding back starts to roll down his cheek. He looks away, chin ducking down to his chest and fingers clenching tightly to the vanity he's leaning against. All these minor things Louis has picked up during the week they spent together, he's becoming highly aware that something is not okay. With this song, and a few others, it's a clear indication that there is a burden weighing on Harry's life. Something bad and terrible, causing him to not eat food, to crawl back into his shy shell and scream for help through his songs. 

Louis thought he was over thinking things, but now, he sees everything. Clear as day. Maybe these past three years have not been as good to him as he though. 

"Are you okay?" he ends up asking, voice softening. "I mean - these people who work with you - for you - are they harming you?" 

"I'm fine." 

Louis shakes his head. "You know, I've been watching you all week, and there is no way in bloody hell that you're fine." 

"Louis, please." Harry sighs, so tired, slouching. He blinks, eyes now rimmmed red, bottom lip wobbling. Any second the band will come look for him. It's a matter of time before this conversation will get interrupted, but Louis is not ready for that to happen. He wants to finish what has been started. "I'm fine. Okay? Drop it. Who cares?" 

"Who cares?" Louis mocks, placing his hands on his hips. "Harry, your songs are anything but okay. You're hurting, broken, trying to find a way out. I can hear it. I can see it. How have these three years treated you so terrible? What are these people doing to you? You're not okay, Harry. You can't hide that from me." 

"I'm getting out, okay? What does it matter anymore. They said five years or three albums. I chose three albums, and now I'm done. Contract up. You don't need to worry about me. S' not like anyone else can pick up what these songs are about. S' not fair that you can." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Right. Some of your best hits are about being restrained, drowning in your own pity, thinking about being with the angels. Tell me how anyone is supposed to step away after knowing that? You need help." 

"I don't need anything." 

"Half your songs are about a relationship that ended three years ago and about how miserable you are." 

Harry makes a face. "And your point? I can write whatever I want. You should know, you help write songs. It's whatever comes to my mind." 

"Is that your excuse for writing If I Could Fly?" 

Harry freezes, eyes widening, breath hitching in his chest. 

"Tell me it's not a bit daft to write that song about someone you haven't spoken to over many years? Having all of this on your mind for so long and not moving on is fucked up, Harry. What did you think would happen when you chose to write and perform this song tonight? That it'll end all be all for us?" 

"It's just a bloody song, Louis. I got inspired, and I wrote it. I thought I would end my tour with a new one. Not everything has to be about you," Harry snaps, voice cutting in sharp. "I wrote the song because being home, being around you fucking hurts. I had all this emotion that I didn't know what to do with so I started writing. I wrote about my love and heartbreak for you. I didn't write it because I wanted you to pity me or be with me. I wrote it because this is what I do - write songs. Express my feelings. Let people know that there's something more than the rockstar womanizer that everyone thinks I am." 

Well. Now Louis feels somewhat guilty and like an asshole. Only slightly. This conversation is just now heating up. 

"You didn't want me to, Louis. You pushed me away. You broke up with me," Harry continues. His hands are shaking where they are pressed against the vanity, and his posture is stiffening. The tears in his eyes return, but they are replaced from sadness to anger. "I didn't want this life. I didn't want to go on tour. I didn't want to be famous. I wasn't ready for it. Gosh, Louis. I loved you so much. I wanted to stay here with you and our friends. You broke my heart when you told me to go. I've wanted nothing more than for the past three years to come home, but I couldn't. You didn't want me here, and you made sure no else did too." 

Harry hastily wipes his eyes when everything starts pouring out. Louis feels sort of stuck in his place, not entirely sure he's hearing everything right. All these years, he's been the one mad at Harry. Mad at him for leaving. Mad at him for never coming back or calling. But now, he's seeing light on a different side. Seeing all the anger and emotion from Harry that he's never witness before. Had he read everything so wrong? That night had gone terribly wrong when he met Harry in the park. He knew he shouldn't have let it get this way, but somehow, someway, Harry had interrupted it wrong. He interpreted it in a way that made Louis out to be the bad guy. 

Is this what these three years had led to? 

"Everyone hates me," Harry cries, sniffing, chest heaving. He takes a second to catch his breath, and Louis stares back at him as if he's trying to understand what this is all about. "They all chose your side. They didn't care or bother to check in on me. I was all alone. I am alone. Gosh, Louis. You didn't want me?  You've made it pretty damn clear - all week you have. And because of that, I have nobody. This week has been the hardest for me. Being around everyone who hates me." 

Louis lets out a deep breath through his nose. "What did you expect Harry? You left everyone. Without so much of a goodbye or text. Not even when you were gone did you call. Nobody even knew you left until I went to your house that morning. Your fucking sister told me about it. How the hell did you think that made me feel?" 

"You broke up with me," Harry near screams. 

"I never broke up with you, twit. Not once did I suggest it." 

Harry chokes on his breath, like this sentence had hit him right in the chest, knocking him of air. "You ..." he begins, shaking his head, mind running at a mile a minute. His brows furrow together, nose scrunching as he tries to understand, tries to recall a memory once placed in the back of his mind. "You pushed me away. You chose to be with Luke over me." 

"I didn't. You came up with that one on your own." 

Harry puffs out a pitiful sob. 

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his fringe. "You didn't even give me the chance to speak that night. You took over everything. Assumed whatever you wanted to assume. You were being stubborn and not listening at all."

"Well, what were you bloody trying to say then?" Harry tosses his arms up, desperate and annoyed.  

"I was trying to tell you to take the offer because I thought it would be a good idea for your dream. I had been nervous about it all week. Feeling selfish because I wanted you to stay. I didn't want to hold you back so I was also going to tell you that if you went, I would still be there by your side. I even wrote a fucking letter because I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say without sounding like a right tit. Yes, I wanted you to go, but I wanted you to know that I would've still be there with you." 

The seconds those words settle with Harry feel like an eternity. It's a slow realization, all the gears in his mind grinding. He stumbles back on his feet, colliding with the vanity. Sinking atop it, he lets out an unsteady breath, blinking, glaring down at the ground and standing there completely still. So frozen in space. It's silent, a long drag of all the words they never got to say to one another. Louis feels quite frozen himself, staring at Harry carefully, waiting for the next move. He cant tell if he's about to burst in anger or burst into tears. 

"You weren't breaking up with me?" Harry asks so quietly, so softly, voice wavering. 

Blinking, his green eyes look up, catching sight of Louis'. 

"No." 

Harry laughs, all bitter and humorless. "I thought - I thought you didn't want me." 

"I wanted you more than anything, Harry. But I also wanted you to achieve your dreams." 

Harry covers his face with his hands, burrowing in deep and just sobbing, letting it all out. Louis feels choked up himself, all the pent up emotions coming to surface. The clarity he had been searching for all this time is here, plated right there in front of him. Two sides of a story that was never told. Two sides that are clearly so different in its own way, resulting in bouts of conflicting emotions and thoughts. Louis cannot believe the biggest thing they had been lacking all this time was communication, even from the start, when they were in love and together. 

Two sides of a story, and two tragic endings. 

"That night, I came by to tell you that you shouldn't worry about us because we would be okay. No matter how big and famous you would get, I was going to be there with you," Louis continues, heart now racing in his chest. "I wanted to tell all of that to you, but it went to shit. After you ran off that night, I went round your house the next morning. Was ready to apologize and explain myself better. Even had flowers. But you weren't there. You had already left." 

Harry lifts his head from his hands, face flushed and eyes teary. "I left because I was broken. I thought you didn't want me. You had been pushing me away for months at that point, and then Luke. You were with him that whole week after the competition ended. How else was I supposed to feel? I felt so stupid after that night." 

"Harry, Luke was never anything in comparison to you. He was just a friend. Whatever he felt meant nothing to me. Why can't you understand that?" 

"Hard to think that after knowing you two had a fling." 

Louis rolls his eyes. That's a stubborn comment. "For the record, that week I was around him, we were talking about you and us. I asked for advice on what I should do about this tour offer you had." 

"And?" 

"And he told me to fight for you - for us."

"That is not - " Harry sucks in a sharp breath, near trembling. "That is not what I thought was happening." He laughs again, all airy and wet. "The way I felt after that night, I never want to feel again. I felt so utterly broken. Unwanted and unlovable. You made me feel that way because you couldn't get your words right." 

Louis looks down at his shoes, shaking his head. All of this, the anger and sadness and heartbreak, all because they couldn't talk to each other appropriately. Louis had been a coward, and Harry had been scared and naive. They were so young when all this happened. Just Eighteen and Twenty. Still a whole world of life for them to explore only for them to waste three years of it living in this anguish. Where they could have just been happy and together, not living apart in these separate worlds. 

Why was it so hard for Louis to speak that night? When he thinks about it, the moment in the park with Harry, he feels like he lost his voice. His tongue thick and unable to formulate words. Everything he wanted to say was right there on his mind and heart, but that's where it stayed, right there. Never uttered out loud for Harry to hear, and the aftermath that followed has left this terrible devastation of two exes rekindling all week through painful memories. 

They were so young and in love. They still are young. Harry is still young, having the weight of the world on his shoulders at just twenty one. Most people his age are still in Uni, still trying to figure out what to do with their lives when he's already explored the entire world and faced things people his age don't ever get to. Louis is hit with the harsh reminder of that in this moment. 

"We could still be together," Harry whispers after a moment, eyes slipping shut. 

Fuck. Harry's right. They could be. These three years of living in this constant heart break could have been prevented. Their break up, if it was even that, more like a misunderstanding. It wasn't that they were no longer in love or wanted different things. It was that they were young and stupid, lacking the voice to say the right words at the right time. It was being on two separate pages and being too stubborn to fix it right away. Harry wasn't listening, and Louis wasn't talking. 

It was all a shit show to begin with, and it continues to be one. Two exes who were once in love and broke up for no reason other than lack of information. Possibly, the love never went away, and they were just two people who never got back together.

"I did write that song about you. My new one," Harry says once the silence passes, filling the void of their heavy breathing with his voice. Louis looks up, wiping away the tears he feels corning in his eyes. "But I didn't mean anything by it. Being around you all week sparked up these feelings I have tried to keep hidden. All my love for you. The heartbreak, the loneliness. The want I had for you to just be there for me. It all came back to me the instant I saw you in my home. So I wrote it into my song." Sighing breathily, Harry steps away from the vanity, twinging his hands behind his back. "I'm sorry I left, Louis. Without a word. I just, I thought you were done with me. I felt so heartbroken and sad. Seeing you this week has made me feel that heartbreak all over again. I hate knowing that you don't feel the same way I did." 

Louis cocks his head. "How do you know what I feel?" 

"I've seen it. I've heard it," Harry mutters under his breath. There's chatter going on outside, and Louis' heart quickens in his chest at the fear of someone walking in. "I heard about you and Luke. And you keep saying he meant nothing to you when we were together, but it fucking hurts knowing that you've been with him. It's like my worst fear had come to truth, and when I heard it - I just kept thinking back to when we were together. To when you would spend time with him. How can I not think anything else?"

"Our hookup had nothing to do with my feelings towards him. I don't have any," Louis explains, a bit more desperate than he wants. "It was an accident, and I was sad. It was our anniversary. I had just seen the news about you and some model, and I was upset. He was there with me. We had been drinking. It didn't go anywhere past what you think.  Trust me I tried." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means that I've tried to move on from you. Everyone, all our friends, kept pressuring me to put you in the past, and I wanted it. I wanted to forget about you, but I couldn't." Louis is back to pacing now, back and forth in front of Harry, shoes about ready to burn a hole in the carpet of the room. He does this for a few seconds and then stops in front of Harry, directly in his space. "I can't, Harry. It's so bloody hard to find someone new when I've had you. Nobody can even compare to you, and it fucking sucks. You are the love of my fucking life, and it's cursed me to never move on. Fuck. You say you were broken, but I was fucking miserable when you left."

Harry's eyes suddenly widen, and he steps closer to Louis, merely touching him. "What'd you just say?" he questions quietly, blinking owlishly. "I'm the love of your life?" 

The amount of hope etched in Harry's features fills Louis' heart. It's like those are the words he's been dying to hear this entire conversation. And truthfully, it felt so good for him to admit it for a change. All these years, he's kept the truth of it all buried deep, pushed to the back of his mind and heart. But now, he feels so free, standing here with Harry, talking out all the things they never got to say. Their friends and his family are probably seconds away from finding where they are. There's probably a whole celebration they intend to throw after the concert, but none of that seems to matter when there's a certain kind of gleam in Harry's eyes, staring back at Louis like he's his whole world. 

Gosh. Louis missed that look. It's why he can no longer deny his feelings. 

"You are, Harry. Still are." 

Harry blows out a big breath. "I would've given it all up." It's a mere whisper under his breath, but Louis is close enough to catch it. Instinctively, he reaches up, gently cupping the side of Harry's face. His green eyes blink towards him. "If you would've asked me to. One text or call. I thought it was me waiting for you to do something this whole time. I had been so scared to say anything and - " 

Louis silences him with a kiss. Inevitable. Slotting their lips together and resting it there, so soft and sweet. Taste like honey on the tip of his tongue. Harry's breath hitches when he presses in deeper for the kiss, angling Harry's head back so he can lick his way inside his mouth. Their tongues clash , teeth clinking. Louis' free hand comes to rest around the dip of Harry's waist and he pulls him in close, savoring every way they easily fit together. Harry's fingers reach behind Louis' head and curl into his fringe, digging in deep, dragging his body in closer and closer. Never enough. 

There's a desperate whimper that's high and whiny coming from Harry when Louis' twist their lips. It's been three years too long since he last got to do this. If he remembers correctly, the last time they kissed was the night Harry won. They celebrated together. Kissed all night. Made love, and then after, it all went to shit. Reality of the situation had settled, and that was the last time they ever got to do this. Just touch and be in each other's presence. Louis missed it. He knows Harry missed it given by his whines and his moans, the way he's clawing the back of Louis' head to be impossibly closer to him. 

The heat between them builds up, and their labored breaths are intermingled with the slick sounds of their mouths. Louis tightened his hold around Harry and lifts him up on the vanity, walking in between his legs and placing palms flat on his thighs. He squeezes tight when Harry nibbles on his lip, drawing out a moan. Louis' hands tickle up to Harry's waist and toy with the button on his pants, ready to undo them just as Harry is lifting his shirt over his head. 

Alas, in that moment, the height of the strong buzz, the door is pushed open. The abrupt sound of it slamming back against the wall jerks the two of them away, both their heads turning towards the door with wide eyes, flushed cheeks, and wet mouths. 

It's Niall, looking ever the most frazzled and traumatized. His eyes divert down and closes the door a little to block what's going on inside the room. 

"Sorry, I just - " he coughs, angling out the door. "We have been looking for you two." 

Louis has the decency to move from in between Harry's legs, instead standing next to him. He keeps a hand around his hip, enjoying the feel of his body underneath his palm. It's warm and soft. It's home. It's their love. 

"What do you want?" 

"Thought we were celebrating at the club after the show? The lads and I have been trying to entertain everyone else while you two - " he waves his hand around for emphasis. 

Louis snorts, and Harry flushes pink. 

"Right," Harry clears his throat, slowly scooting off the vanity. He straightens out his clothes once he's standing, smiling weakly. "Go on ahead. We'll meet you there." 

Niall nods his head, backing out the door and shutting it behind him. Once he's gone, Harry turns to Louis, giggling, stepping towards him and falling against his chest. Louis' hands easily find their way to his hips. 

"Do you want to go to the club?" Harry asks, lifting his brows, fingers dancing across Louis' sternum. "Or do you want to go back to my hotel and finish what we started?" 

There's a smirk on his face, and Louis tsk's, hands now sliding low on his ass. "Let's finish what we started, love. It's been long overdue." 

Giggling in to each other's neck, Harry grabs Louis' hand and leads the way out, sneaking past all the guards and stealing one of his assigned drivers to take them back to the hotel. Club be damned. 

///

It's all a motionless blur from the arena back to the hotel. Louis and Harry cling together like there is no room for separation. Thankfully, the driver had the partitioned pulled up to allow them the privacy they so graciously craved for. The whole ride over, they kiss, hands exploring over bodies, Harry seated in Louis' lap and Louis' hands holding tightly to his hips. It's desperate and heated, the way their mouths chase each other for the dire need to taste, to love, to savor. 

They have the decency to walk through the hotel lobby without rushing to take clothes off. They're holding hands, tight and close as Harry leads them to the elevators. The driver remains behind, keeping watch, surveying that there are no lingering fans with phones or eyes. In the public eye, everyone assumes Harry is going out to celebrate tonight. The rumors of their club appearance had gotten around, and it worked out perfect for the two of them to sneak back to the hotel without getting noticed. They get a few suspicious eyes from the hotel employees around, more due to the fact that Harry's lips are swollen and cheeks flushed, Louis' shirt a disheveled mess along with his fringe flying all around different places. 

When they make it to the safety of the elevator, Harry presses the top floor and then crowds Louis up against the wall. Wrapping his arms around his neck, he smiles, nudging in close, noses rubbing together as he hovers above his mouth. Louis' hands go to his back, like clock work, sneaking up underneath his shirt and pressing palms flat against his skin. Harry shivers at the touch, but he curves his body in to Louis' chest, nipping lightly at his bottom lip before kissing him slowly, licking into his mouth and whimpering when Louis' fingers dig into the meat of his back. 

The elevator dinging draws them apart. Harry's all glossy eyed and pink cheeks as he watches the doors open up. The hallway is empty, and he grabs Louis' hand and pulls him towards his hotel room. Reaching for the key in his pocket, Louis pushes in close to his back, crowding up into his space and wrapping his arms around his tummy. He presses light kisses against his neck, tickling Harry with his breath. He ghost over his ear, nibbling on the sensitive skin there and smirking when Harry's breath shudders. It slows his attempt at opening the door, trembling hands and shaky knees, but he manages. 

With the door open, Harry yanks Louis inside, shutting the door behind and turning around. Louis stands before him, eyes dark and blown wide, staring back at him as if he's ready to devour him. Harry hopes so. Its been three hears too long of being deprived of Louis' touch and love, and he wants to savor it all night long. Without hesitation, Harry's presses his hands against Louis' chest, backing him towards the bed. Louis goes easily, cock twitching in his jeans as his knees hit the bed. Sitting down on the edge of the mattress, he spreads his legs, an invitation for Harry to walk through. 

Before he gets the chance to sit, Louis reaches out, fingers tangling with the button on his jeans. Harry steadies himself by holding on to Louis' shoulder, wiggling his legs free of the jeans and stepping out until he's only left in his briefs. He then helps Louis free himself of his clothes, starting with his jeans and then yanking the shirt over his head.  Once he's fully naked, Harry steps forward again, crawling on to Louis lap, straddling him, body curving in to the touch of his warm hands to his back. Smiling, Harry leans in again slowly, their lips twisting together, slow and soft, moving in a way that they're most familiar with. Harry's fingers go back to Louis' hair, fingers curling and pulling tight, hips rocking down into the roll of Louis' hips thrusting up. It draws a moan from him, loud and deep, a desperate plea for something more. 

Louis is hard, Harry can feel. Thick and heavy, rising up against him and pressing against his back. He wants more. Craves for more. Harry leans up on his knees, angling his head down as a means to keep kissing the boy. He maneuvers his way to get his briefs off, using Louis' hands on his hip as leverage to get them off. Tossing them behind his body, Harry sits down again, groaning when Louis nudges him, so close, rubbing up against him, teasing, hooking just along the wall of muscles he wants to Louis to desperately push in to. Instead he grinds down, getting off on the feel of Louis thick and hot right there on him. It stirs a coil of pleasure in his stomach, sending a heat wave down to his cock. It twitches without hesitation, spurting out bits of warm liquid that roll down his groin and lands on Louis' thighs. 

The heat of the moment pauses when Louis pulls back momentarily. He steadies Harry by gripping his hips hard, keeping him from rubbing off. His blue eyes blink, trying to settle on the glimmer in Harry's green eyes. He smiles, to slow the intensity down, muscles softening as he reaches up to cup the side of Harry's cheek, fingers dancing lightly across his jawline. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he checks, watching the way Harry's teeth cushion his bottom lip. 

"I want you, Louis." As if to prove his point, Harry chucks his shirt over his head, tossing behind his body and settling back on Louis' lap, rolling his hips again, now fully naked. 

Louis bites back the moan, gripping his hips tighter, holding him steady. Eyes trailing down between their bodies, he spots something hanging around his neck, gleaming under the moon light filtering through the room. It's the ring. The blue Zircon ring he had gifted Harry the night he won X-Factor. All this time, he wondered what happened to it, if Harry ever wore it or if he kept it in that box with all his other jewelry. But here it is, resting against Harry's heart, for him to wear at all times. He never took it off. 

"You kept the ring?" Louis questions softly, twirling the ring around his fingers. It's looped through a chain like a necklace, and he looks up at Harry, seeing the softness behind those pretty greens. 

The ring was his promise. His promise to Harry that they would be together forever, despite all the impending fame and fortune. A pre-proposal, he remembers telling Harry once upon a time. 

"I did," Harry whispers, hugging Louis close to him. "You promised me." 

Louis heart swells in a way that it hasn't for years. All this time, Harry held his promise close to his heart. Wore his promise around every single day and kept it as something for himself. Not for the world to see, and not for anyone to take from him. That promise meant something then, and it means something now. All the hardships Louis knew they would face with Harry becoming famous, it happened. It's present, and here they are. Working through. Getting back on their feet and rekindling everything that they lost. Louis' promise remains as strong as ever, and it's something he's willing to keep true. 

Pressing forward, Louis kisses him again, hard and fast, lips tangling in an urgent way that means to take this further. Harry whines, whimpering, arching into Louis' hands on his ass. He holds the boy close, tightening his grip, and easily rolls Harry over on to his back, laying him gently on the mattress and hovering above his body. In the midst of the kissing, hands exploring again, familiarizing, Harry reaches into the drawer, patting around to grab a condom and lube he's kept stored there. Louis' eyes open up as he watches, giggling in to the kiss when Harry pulls both items out and tosses them next to his head. 

"Been busy, I presume?" he teases, leaning back on his thighs. 

Harry smiles as he spreads his legs, opening up, inviting Louis to do whatever he please. Louis' eyes trail down, breath hitching when he sees his puckered and fluttering hole waiting for him. Clenching down on to nothing but the anticipation of whats about to fill him up. Louis' hands lower towards him, resting on the inside of his thighs, caressing him, fingers inching closer but not touching exactly where Harry wants him to. It's soft and gentle, sending a shiver through his spine, fingers and toes tingling with a strong desire to release. 

"I've been lonely. Had to find something to occupy my time," Harry eventually answers, nibbling the inside of his cheek. "Please touch me, Lou." 

Kissing him again, Louis gets his fingers slicked up, ready to stretch Harry open. The softness of his touch and the carefulness of his fingers relax Harry into easing his muscles, loosening up and pulling high pitched moans. He cries into the night, body wringing around on the bed like he can't handle the thrill of pleasure from Louis' fingers buried deep inside him. Harry's hands wring into the sheets, toes curling, and he thrusts down to get more, to pull Louis in deeper. His eyes are watering up, lip bruising from the harsh way he's biting down in to it. He's about ready to cry out for more, whines getting higher and whimpers more desperate. 

Louis shushes him softly, kissing his cheek, his neck, the side of his jaw. His hands ease Harry's hips to the mattress, pressing him down. He kisses him everywhere, whispers soft nothing in to his ears to calm him. Harry's body is hot and sweaty. Louis lips then find his, tongue pressing through in to Harry's mouth and licking him dirty, kissing him hard and lustful. 

"You sure about this, darling?" Louis mumbles against his mouth, one hand holding the back of Harry's head and the other on his hip. 

Harry collapse back against the pillow, breathing heavily, eyes blown. He plants his feet on the mattress, settling his body and relaxing, taking the moment of breathing in Louis' natural scent, vanilla and musky, a hint of spice. Harry leans up and curls his nose into Louis' neck, kissing him just because. 

"I want you, Louis," he reassures again, whispering the words against Louis' ear, breathing hotly on to his skin. Louis shivers at the feel, hand now curling underneath his left thigh and hold it up against his hip. "I wanted you then, and I want you now." 

Louis kisses him once again, always seeking out the feel of Harry's lips against his own. They start off slow and hesitant, the initial push so gentle and careful, calculating every twitch of discomfort on Harry's face as if to make sure he likes this. He enjoys this. Harry's eyes slip shut, head tilting back on the pillow as he pulls Louis in, the tight drag rubbing up against all his muscles and pushing in deeper, always so deep with him. It burns, but a shock of pleasure jolts through him, arching his back off the mattress and legs tightening around Louis' hips. It's so full and warm, feeling the way Louis knows how to move inside of him. It's familiar, and it's breathtaking. The way Louis loves him, the way he holds him, as if he's made of glass. 

"Fuck, Harry," Louis moans to his ear, pushing in deep. "Fuck, you feel so good." 

"Louis!" 

"I know, baby. I got you." 

The rhythm picks up once Louis gets all the way in, having rested there for enough time for Harry to adjust. He's whining again, moaning and crying, no quietness to the voice he echoes in the sky. Louis silences him with a kiss, their fingers tangling together as he slams them on the bed, above his head, hips thrusting in and out, deep and slow, dragging out whine after whine with each snap of his hips. It's near knocks the breath out of him, tiny puffs of breath pushing past his lips, right into Louis' mouth.

"L-Louis. Shit." Harry rolls his hips up, crying out when there's a nudge against the spot that has his body tingling with a certain type of spark. "Fuck. Right there. Louis." 

Harry sees stars behind his eyelids when they slip shut, all his senses heightening to the feel of Louis all over him, inside him, around his body, hands touching his skin, caressing all the softness he has. Louis kisses along the side of Harry's neck, sucking in a mark, nibbling on the skin before blowing warm air over his art.

They ride the high together and cool down in each other's arms, their bodies pressing together. Harry's curled against his chest, slowing his breathing down, skin slick and sticky, covered in all the marks of Louis' love. Louis has his arm around Harry, pulling him in close, fingers dancing across his bare arm and drawing patterns. 

They lay there for what feels like forever, staring out the window and viewing the liveliness of the city. It's probably midnight by now, and their friends are more than likely high on partying in the club. Their phones have been lost in the slew of clothes tossed to the ground, and Louis couldn't be assed enough to go check. Surely, they have missed calls and texts, but none of that seems to matter when he's got Harry here in his arms, coming down from the high they both just rode together in the peak of their pleasure, in the height of their heat and conjoined bodies. 

The silence lingers for a little longer. But then Louis turns his nose on top of Harry's hair, breathing him in, kissing his forehead. Harry smiles softly, purrs like a kitten and angles his head up, blinking his bright green eyes up at Louis. 

"How do you feel, love?" 

Harry burrows into his neck, cuddling closer, tossing an arm over Louis' waist, feeling the steady beat of his heart where he places a hand over his chest. "Tired. Sore." 

"You've had quite the performance today." 

Harry giggles. "I'd say two. Don't you think?" 

"You're a dork." Louis tightens his arms around him. It feels so good to lay there naked together, all spent and sweaty, sated after sex with the person he loves most. "Get some sleep, darling. We can talk more in the morning." 

Harry nods his head, lacing his fingers together with Louis'. He presses light feathery kisses along his knuckles, settling in to his spot and closing his eyes.  

The morning light that filters hours later are bright. The curtains were left drawn the night before, at it was nice to have the loom of the moon in the room. But now in the hours of the early morning, the light is blinding and warm, cascading across Harry's face. He wrinkles his nose, pressing a hand above to block the light. He wants to roll over, to turn away from the sun, but his body is lax and sore, too heavy to maneuver. 

It was only then that Harry realizes. His eyes open up slowly, angling behind to see an empty spot next to him on the bed. Sitting up more, the covers fall down to his hips, eyes blurry and wet as he scans across the room. He rubs at them, trying to will himself to wake up a little more. His lips tingle, a bit swollen from all the kissing. Face is hot, hair a mess, at least that's what he gathers from the mirror hanging on the wall ahead. Looking back at himself, he looks properly sated, freshly fucked. A sight to behold. Glossy eyes and flushed skin. 

The room is empty. The bathroom door is open with no light on. Any remnants of Louis is gone. He's not in the bed. His clothes are no longer on the floor, and he's not there. Harry's alone. He woke up alone, and his heart sinks down to stomach. The urge to cry comes on quick, and he hates how he assumes the worst. All thoughts about revenge and hatred flood his mind, and he has a moment of weakness of thinking Louis set him up. Did this on purpose to hurt him. Give him the hope he's been waiting for all these years only to have it come crumbling down with waking up alone after a night filled with a sex. 

Drawing the sheets up, Harry presses them to his chest, still out of it to actually say or do anything. He feels like he's in a limbo, unable to move, body heavy and mind foggy. He continues to scan the room, wishing for Louis to pop up at any second and cure all the worry and insecurities overwhelming him. 

Then a beacon of hope shines when the door clicks. Harry's heart settles immediately when Louis bounds inside, all perky and awake, smiling warmly when he glances over at Harry on the bed. He's got a carton with two drinks in one hand and a small goodie bag in the other. Harry relaxes the further Louis walks in to the room, muscles easing up and comforter falling from his hold. 

"Hi, love." Louis walks to the bed and kisses Harry on the head, sitting down on the edge of the mattress, near his legs. "I got you something to eat. Figured you'd be hungry." 

Harry raises his eyebrows, slowly reaching for the drink first. It's hot tea. "Thought you left this morning." He takes a sip, humming at the warm liquid infiltrating his bones. "I'm sorry for thinking the worst." 

"I wouldn't leave you. Not after last night." 

"I know." Harry looks down, guilt washing over. "You're not me." 

"Hey," Louis eases, cupping Harry's jaw, tilting his head up to keep him from hiding. "Enough of that. We're moving forward from it, okay? I told you that you're the love of my life. I meant it. That means I'm willing to move forward if you are." 

"I want to. I do." 

"Good. Because I still love you, Harry. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, it's still there. Deep in my heart." Louis grabs Harry's hand, placing his palm flat against his chest. He blinks, green eyes locking in to blue. "Feel that? It's yours. If you want it." Louis curls his fingers on top of Harry's. "What happened in the past, is in the past. We were both young and naive. Clearly, we were not on the same page and we both have things to work on, with ourselves and with each other. You're everything to me, okay? Always have been, always will be." 

Harry's eyes close slowly, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "Oh, how I miss the way you speak to me." Green eyes open up, all bright and happy. "Just for the record, I still love you, too. Never once stopped."  

"So, why'd you keep it?" Louis questions, pulling his face away, grabbing the ring hanging around Harry's neck. He twirls it between his fingers, admiring the blue Zircon that glimmers under the morning sunlight. "Figured you would have chunked it away." 

Harry glances down, smiling. "It was my hope, I presume. The meaning behind the ring." He grabs the ring from Louis and holds it up in between their bodies. "It was a promise you made, and when I felt like giving up, or hopeless, I just remembered why you gave this to me. It seems silly, but it kept pushing me. That if I get through all of this that maybe one day your promise could be upheld." 

"I've dreamed about us. Quite often. I think deep down, I hoped the same thing, too." Louis takes the ring from Harry again, and he gently lifts the chain over his head. Unclicking the lock, he takes the ring out, dropping the necklace on the bed while the ring rests flat on his palm. "Can I remake that promise for you? Maybe this time around, we can make it come true a lot faster."

Harry lifts an eyebrow, lips twitching into a bright smile, enough to crater dimples in his cheek. "Your promise to stand by my side, or your pre-proposal promise?"  

"I'm thinking more pre-proposal," Louis responds, grinning as well, laughing when Harry near flushes pink. "I want to marry you, Harry. Whenever it's our time. Today. Tomorrow. Months from now. Years from now. I know I want that life with you. I can't ever imagine it with anybody else. You're the one for me, and this promise - this pre proposal, if you will - is my way of showing you that I'm not letting you slip from my fingers again. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Harry blinks, eyes glossing over. "Are you ... Are you proposing to me? Like, actually proposing this time?" 

"Is that what I'm doing?" he giggles, grabbing Harry's left hand, singling out his ring finger. "I suppose it is, darling." 

Harry laughs as well. "There are so many things we need to fix and talk about, Louis. Is it really the time to propose?" His voice is so light and happy, carefree despite his words. He wants it, Louis can tell. 

"Sure, baby. And we will work on it. For this promise to one day marry each other when it's right." Louis tilts his head to the side, eyes crinkling with how wide he's smiling. "So, is that a yes or ... ? " 

"Of course it is. A million yes," Harry answers quickly, watching as Louis slides the ring back on his finger, where it rightfully goes. "I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page, you know? We definitely struggle with that." 

Louis snorts. "I know. We'll work on it. Together. " A tear falls down from the corner of Harry's eye, and he reaches up to wipe them away. "Happy tears, I presume?"

Harry nods his head erratically, more tears resuming. "They are. Very happy." 

Louis kisses him on the lips, soft and gentle. Then he rolls over his body and settles next to him on the bed, placing the drink on the nightstand and holding out the bag of goodies for Harry to take. "I got an english muffin. Remember they used to be your favorite." 

"You know the lads had planned a breakfast this morning?" 

"So you're not going to eat the biscuit I worked very hard to get for you?" Louis teases. 

Harry breathes in deeply, grimacing a little, a tight lipped smile now taking precedence. He grabs the muffin from the bag and stares at it longly, like he wants to take a bite but is refraining from doing so. Louis watches carefully, the small twitch to his lip, the tremble in his hands. He almost feels bad about forcing the food on to Harry, knowing quite well the amount of struggle he's seen with Harry eating adequately throughout the week. 

When Harry sips the tea instead of taking a bite, Louis knows that he needs to bring it up. The whole point of this promise, of Harry wearing the ring again, is so that they can work on things. Talk. Communicate. Fix what they struggled with in the past. This includes all the hard conversations they avoided. 

"Baby, can I ask you something? And feel free to tell me to fuck off at any point." 

Harry looks at him, lowering the muffin to his lap. His fingers tighten around the cup he's holding on to. "What is it?" 

"Do you have a problem with eating? I've noticed that you have some sort of aversion to food. I just want to make sure you're okay." 

Harry tilts his head back against the headboard of the bed, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them back up. He relieves in another big breath, thinking slowly, calculating his words. "I like food," he begins, voice wavering. Tears build up in the corner of his eyes again, but he holds them back, fights against them. "But when you have people constantly talking about your weight, judging the way you look, it makes you think twice about what you eat." Sniffling, Harry wipes his nose, feeling choked up. "After we ended things, I spent forever trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Maybe I was too fat for you. Too ugly for you. Dressed terrible around you. That you thought I was chubby or something. All baby fat. I saw what people said about me. I assumed you thought the same." 

"So you don't eat?" Louis questions. 

"I do. Just not as much as I want." Harry blinks, gazing at the muffin again. "I've lost a lot of weight since my first tour. Keep losing it. And I'm so hungry and tired all the time. I want to eat, but then I think about what it will do to me. It drives me crazy. I want to eat this, Lou. I do. But my mind is stopping me."

Louis reaches across for his hand, lacing their fingers together. "Harry, I thought accepting the offer would be everything you'd want. I didn't expect this."

Harry laughs bitterly. "It sucks. Performing is amazing. Gives me a thrill I've never experienced before. I would never trade that for anything." Shaking his head, he looks at Louis, tears free willing down his cheeks. "But it meant I give up five years of my life or doing everything I can to get out of it sooner. I chose the latter. Making albums and going on tour. Overworking myself. Nobody ever stopped me. They controlled what I said and did, what I wore. Always made sure to have a woman linked to my name because it kept me in the tabloids, along with the music I was writing. Fit into this killer rockstar image that they pushed will all the albums and tours."

"Harry, that's abusive. Especially for someone so young. Did no one fight for you?" 

"I tried to. But that's the thing. I'm young. They didn't care what I had to say if it meant adjusting the image they wanted the public to see. I swear every other month I was out stunting with a girl. The worse was when they had me stunt with the female director of one of my music videos. She was horrid. Made everyone get this view that I fuck older women and sleep my way through the industry." 

Louis blows out a big breath, heart breaking with every word that is uttered. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I never - This is not what I wanted to happen. I shouldn't have pushed you away. Fuck. I shouldn't have made you feel like you had to leave." 

"Louis," Harry whispers, cupping his jaw with his other hand. "It's not your fault. I chose to leave. There was always a part of me that wanted to go." 

"It can be so much better than this, though." 

Harry's bottom lip wobbles. "Can it?" he wonders, voice cracking. "I've been so miserable, Louis. All alone. I couldn't even find a way to love myself, and I - I don't even know if I want to come back to this. I don't want to feel like I do anymore. I want to be happy, and loved, and eat without caring. So many things I want back that being famous has taken from me." 

"We'll get there, Harry. I promise. Together. You and I. You have me now, forever. You'll feel happy and free come time." 

"Thank you." Leaning forward, Harry presses their foreheads together again, smiling softly, eyelashes fluttering. "I'm happy you're here with me now. You have no idea how much I missed you." 

Louis kisses him softly. "I missed, too." Harry slides his hands down Louis' body and places them on his legs, smirking. "I missed that, too. You touching me." 

"I'll marry you right now if I could." His hands go around Louis' waist and tugs him closer. 

"I'll have to get you a proper ring then. An upgrade." 

Harry blushes. "I quite like this one. Maybe the new ring can be for our wedding." 

"I guess I can call you my fiancé then?" Louis smiles, shaking his head. "Bit fast right? Not even a date and we're ready to get married. How do I know you're not a crazy one?" 

Harry tucks his head against Louis' chest and giggles, so light and careful, he sound bringing warmth to Louis' heart. 

"I think our engagement is long over due." He finally lifts his head, green eyes shining. "After all, I've loved you since we were young children."

"Okay, then. Let's plan a wedding then, love."

///

A towel is around Harry's waist as he steps out the wash room, body still coated in droplets of water. He uses a free towel to dry off his hair, walking towards the bed and sitting down on the mattress. Louis is still in there, drying off, freshening up. After their morning celebration, which followed their somewhat proposal, they showered together, washing off all their troubles of the past and pressing kisses of promises in to their bodies. Harry smiles at the memory of it, Louis' hands on him, rubbing soap into his skin and touching him softly. 

Then, Harry remembers. Their friends are supposed to stop by the hotel this morning, following up the celebration from last night with a breakfast, just the lads. There were a slew of messages and missed calls on both their phones when they checked this morning, all asking where they ran off to and if they planned to join. They never followed up. They remained in the hotel last night together, laying in each other's warmth. Harry feels a little guilty about it. The club was his idea. He thought going out with his friends and getting drunk would be the perfect start to his timeless hiatus, but things didn't go as planned. 

Fuck. Harry didn't even see his family after the show. Never hugged his mother or met up with Gemma. He completely ignored them all in favor of being with Louis. Everything after the show was such a blurry mess, mixed in with tears and happiness. 

When Harry checks his phone again, there's another message, in line with all the other unanswered ones. This one, however, gets him on his feet. 

"Louis, the lads are here." 

There's something that clatters in the washroom before Louis rushes out, head out the doorway. "What?" 

"I told you the guys wanted to stop by for breakfast. Remember?" 

Louis purses his lips, glancing up and down Harry's slim and wet torso. "I got a bit side tracked, love. Can't blame me, really." Sighing, he steps into the room, walking up to the boy and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him in close. A smile graces his plump pink lips, and Louis leans in to kiss them. "They're a bit possessive, no? I've never been around them as much as I have this week. What possible more do they want with you?" 

"Well," Harry sings out, giggling, hands resting against Louis' chest, fingers tickling with the small wisps of hair there. "Considering we ditched them last night, we probably owe them a breakfast." Louis makes a sound and leans in, lips pressing light kisses along Harry's neck. He blows a heavy breath out his nose in response. "But, we did have breakfast already. Sounds useless to go down there." 

"So let's stay here. Naked. In bed." 

"Louis," Harry whines as he collapse against his body, nosing along the dip in his neck. "Come on. Get dressed. They're waiting." 

It takes much reluctance and lots of groaning, but Louis does comply. They've spent the better part of the night and early morning tangled in each other's bodies. It's only a matter of time before they need to civilize with their friends, who they so graciously ditched the night prior. It's the least he can do. Get dressed. Accompany them downstairs. Spend a few hours chattering, then willfully drag Harry back into the room. Maybe back to his own apartment, show him London now in his eyes. 

Louis presses a kiss to the top of Harry's head and walks over to his clothes thrown on the floor. It's not ideal for him to put the same outfit on for the third time in less than twenty four hours, but well, here he is. 

As he dresses, he realizes Harry hasn't moved from his spot. Turning around, Louis glances at him, eyebrow raised when he sees Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, completely starkers, a gentle smile curving his lovely lips. Once Louis gets at least his bottoms on, he walks over to him, standing between his legs and lifting his jaw up tenderly and just admiring. 

In the morning light, it's like Louis' seeing Harry for the first time. All happy and radiant. His skin is soft and delicate, illuminating such a pale milkiness in stark contrast to the dark walls of the room. Harry's glowing. Glowing in a way he hasn't  in the entire week they've been together. His green eyes. Bright and open, a beacon of happiness that shimmers in the way he looks back at Louis. The smile he wears, so wide and beautiful, dimples cratering his cheek and crinkles forming near the temples on his forehead. 

A sight to behold. All flushed cheeks and warm body. Harry is loved, and he knows he is loved if by the way he looks is anything to go by. Louis can't help but to smile at him. 

"You look beautiful." 

Harry's cheeks tint even more pink. "I'm naked." 

"I know." Louis curls his fingers into the back of his head, scratching his scalp gently. "But I'm looking at your face, love." 

"You think my face looks beautiful?" 

"Amongst many things," he responds, eyes drifting down. Harry cackles as he slaps Louis' chest playfully, drawing his eyes back up to him. "You look lovely. Stunning. Gorgeous. Happy." 

Harry's smile grows impossibly brighter, and he scoots closer to Louis, arms wrapping around his waist. "I am happy. You make me happy, Lou. Always have." 

Louis hums, leaning to kiss the curve of Harry's jaw. "I suppose I never realized that until now." 

"Does that frighten you?" 

"No." Louis shifts to kiss Harry's lips, softly. "You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy." 

Harry giggles as he raises his left hand, wiggling the finger with the ring. "Good thing I plan to marry that someone." 

"You're a dork." Louis kisses Harry once more then steps away. He continues to get dressed again. "Put clothes on, love. Wasn't you who insisted on seeing our friends, dear?" 

Harry rolls his eyes and stands, heading over to the suitcase he has stowed away in the corner. Louis gets momentarily distracted when the boy bends down to rummage through some clothes. 

"You sure you don't just want to stay in?" 

Harry angles his head around, eyebrows narrowing at the way Louis is staring blatantly at his ass. "Keep your eyes steady, Tomlinson." He goes back to gathering clothes, and once Louis is fully dressed, he watches on more freely. Leaning back against the wall, he crosses his arms over his chest, head tilted as he watches the way Harry's slender body wiggles into his clothes. 

The phone buzzing momentarily distracts him long enough to drag his eyes away. There are more messages incoming from their friends, asking where the two of them are. It's coming in back to back, a constant stream of stating they're downstairs and urging them to hurry up. Apparently, the bacon is almost gone. Louis rolls his eyes and opts to not respond. 

Harry is dressed by the time Louis sets his phone down and looks up. He's standing in front of the mirror above the dresser, tying his long curls up in a bun. A few stray pieces fly out, and they frame his face delicately. There's a a slight furrow in the way he's concentrating on making the bun look good, like it's imperative all the parts are in the right place. It makes Louis chuckle, and Harry's eyes dart his way in the reflection. 

"What?" 

"Still can't get over how beautiful you look right now." 

Harry's arms fall to his side, head tilting, smile softening. "Please don't ever get over it." 

"So. You really haven't been happy like this for the past three years?" is what he then asks, retracting from the wall and walking up behind Harry, pressing to his back, wrapping around his waist. "I hate knowing that I pushed you in to it. There had to be some happy bits, no?" 

Harry places his hands on top of Louis'. "I'm happiest on stage or writing music. There has been some good out of it." Frowning, Harry turns around, hugging Louis close. "Don't worry about it, honey. I'm here now. I'm getting out. We're together. That's what matters." 

"Yeah but - " 

"What is it?" 

"I don't want you to ever feel miserable again. What you said earlier I - " Louis blows out a breath - "I worry about what could have happened." 

Harry blinks, eyes casting down. 

"Harry, I listened to your songs. I listen to you explain what you've been going through. You were living in a constant hell for so long, at such a young age. Did you mean anything when you wrote about talking to angels? Because that freaks me out a bit." 

"I mean - " Harry shrugs, a slight grimace to his expression- "Writing's my outlet. It's my way to express my feelings and send a message. Felt like I did a good job on that one." He leans down and rest his head on Louis' shoulder, staring at their pressed bodies in the reflection of the mirror. "The amount of fans that sent me messages about the song is amazing. It's relatable. It's real. It's how I felt at my lowest."

Louis tightens his arms. "And do you still feel that way?" 

Harry smiles. "I don't. No." He picks his head up from Louis' shoulder and looks at him, caressing his chin. "Writing the song helped. Like I said. Thinking about angels makes you realize all the things here that are worth loving." 

They're interrupted when, once again, their phones go off. Sighing, they separate, Louis walking over to check and seeing an incoming call from Liam. He declines it, but he does walk towards the door. 

"Suppose we should join them?" 

Harry chuckles under his breath, following behind. "I guess we should. Kept them waiting long enough." 

Before he walks past, Louis grabs his arms, fingers gently curling around him. "I love you, Harry. And I hope I can make you the happiest." 

"You sound like you're about to propose again," Harry teases, nose scrunching up in a cute way. Louis' heart swoons. "I love you, too. You're already making me very happy." 

Louis kisses that nose scrunch and then grabs his hand. 

They walk down the corridor to the elevators, joining a few other hotel patrons as they step inside. It takes them down to the lobby, and they step out still holding hands. Their friends already have a table at the hotel restaurant, and Louis leads them over there. 

"Well. Well. Well," Zayn sings-songs, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest, eyes casting down to their conjoined hands. "Seems like you two have been busy." 

"Busy?" Niall cackles loudly, glancing between Liam and Zayn. "They've been having sex. That's what they've been doing." 

"Yeah. Near ditched us again this morning," Liam mutters into his mimosa. 

Louis huffs as he looks over at Harry, wincing. "I knew this would happen." 

Harry smiles brightly, disregarding all the quizzical looks and drags them towards the empty seats. 

"I knew boning it out would be the answer," Niall comments. Liam looks appalled, smacking him on the shoulder. 

"Be real though." Zayn leans forward on the table, resting on his elbows. "Is everything good between you two? I mean after this whole week ... Quite questionable." 

Harry places their conjoined hands on top the table, thumb rubbing along Louis'. "We're working on it." 

"Together," Louis finishes. 

It seems like a giant weight is lifted, and all three boys at the table let out a breath of relief. A bit dramatic, come to think of it. 

"Thank goodness. Was getting real old watching you two quarrel," Zayn sighs. He tops off his mimosa glass and chugs it. 

"Im sure we still will," Louis teases, smirking at Harry, nudging him playfully. Harry's nose scrunches again, and he can't help but to lean in and kiss it. 

Niall gags loudly and tosses a wad up piece of napkin their way. "Please. None of that. You should have gotten plenty of that this morning." 

"And last night," Liam adds, raising his eyebrows. "Harry, what did you tell your mother when you didn't show up at the end of the concert? Surely, not that you went off to have sex with your ex-boyfriend." 

Louis snorts. 

"I didn't say anything to her," Harry answers, brows furrowed together in thought. "I think Gemma covered it up." 

"Well, Louis made a scene storming out the box. She probably put two and two together," Zayn says with an ever growing smile. He's way too interested in. "Man, the girls have been non stop talking about this all night." 

"I think we need to ask the real question," Niall cuts in, a certain sort of mischief in his eyes. Louis is already dreading what's about to come out his mouth. Liam looks like he is too, simply of the fact that he's sometimes way too responsible and modest. "Did Louis uphold the same skill set as in the past?" 

"Oh, come on," Liam groans, covering his face, shaking his head in shame. 

Harry's entire face flushes pink, and he looks for Louis to help. He simply shrugs, biting back the urge to laugh. "I'm not answering that," Harry mumbles under his breath.

"Was it at least better or worse?" Zayn wonders, brows knitting together in curiosity. "He is older now."

Louis scoffs, offended. "I'm not that old." 

"It is quite interesting. Actually. To know if there is a difference." Liam hums as he tilts his head, glancing ahead dazedly. "I should ask Sophia if she notices a difference with us."

"Three years is a big gap from young to old," Zayn adds in, giggling when Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Did Louis improve?" Niall continues, eager as ever. "Did he get worse? What about size, did he shrink?" 

"Alright," Louis intervenes, throwing the wad up paper back at him. "That should be all the questions for the morning." 

"Did he lose his stamina?" Zayn looks at Harry for an answer. "How long did it even last?" 

"Do you prefer young Louis or older Louis?" Liam blurts out. 

"Sex with Louis is always good. Now and then," Harry finally answers, just to shut them up. "We had sex last night. We had sex this morning. Honestly, I hope we have sex later today, too. It's good." 

Silences follows after that, and it's a bit awkward as they all shared glances across the table. Harry sips his mimosa, and Louis clears his throat, cutting through the silence. 

"I suppose that's settled then." 

"Where are the others?" Harry ends up asking. 

The waitress stops by to drop off platters of food, apparently items the lads had order in lieu of waiting for their arrival. Harry stiffens a bit as he watches the others push food on to their individual plates, hoping that this inner turmoil of all the food present isn't noticeable. He ate the muffin earlier and felt semi-okay with it. Louis distracted him long enough to not make him worry or think too much about it. And the tea, a good diuretic to limit his appetite. 

But there are eyes in front of him. Glancing his and Louis' way, like they're expecting them to grab some. He feels Louis squeeze his hand, as some sort of comfort, and he relaxes easily, sagging against the side of his body. Louis removes their hands and instead wraps it around Harry's shoulder, pulling him in close. It feels nice. It feels safe. 

"Feel free to grab some. We got a quite a bit," Liam urges. "Wanted to try a lot." 

Harry sucks in a breath, but Louis beats him to an answer. "Already ate, mate. Forgot about our breakfast plans." 

Zayn grunts. "Wonder why." 

Harry immediately relaxes. 

"The girls had brunch for themselves," Niall answers, drawing back to the question Harry asked earlier. "Plan to meet up later." 

Louis makes a face. "I like how you lot keep making plans without my approval." 

"It worked out for you in the end, chap." Liam winks. 

Louis hums. He's not wrong about that. "What's the plan for later then?" 

Niall takes a big bite of his food and then points his fork over at the two of them. "Well, we need to inform them that you two have rekindled an old flame." Louis grimaces. "And then we want to do one last thing with Harry before he goes on his break. I'm sure you plan a big trip away from reality?" 

"I sure hope so. You deserve it," Liam says into a sip of his mimosa. 

The thing is, Louis hasn't really considered what this means for them moving forward, with Harry's break. They reminded each other of their love for one another last night and this morning. Plan to work through all the kinks in their relationship and move forward on to better things for each of themselves. But ... Harry is on his hiatus now. Free to do whatever he wants. Louis doesn't know how he plays in to that. He hopes during Harry's break they can be together. Strengthen their love and get back to what they used to be, become better than before. 

They're engaged now. Supposedly. In a lack-un prompted way. Louis isn't too fond how it happened. He always envisioned himself asking Harry in a very romantic, personal way. Perhaps in the park, where they shared their first kiss. Where they whispered their love to each other under the moon light. So many different versions he's mustered up in his head, and it all fell down to asking Harry in his hotel room, the morning after they've gotten back together again. 

Knowing himself, Louis will probably ask again. And again. And again, until he feels fulfilled enough to move past asking Harry for his hand in marriage. It sounds kind of fun. Finding different ways to ask him. In different moments. A surprise. Perhaps he'll ask him again in a couple weeks, when they're off in their own world. Maybe they'll be on vacation together. In the Virgin Islands. Or Jamaica. Louis always wanted to go there. He needs the break, and Harry for sure needs the getaway from reality.

Louis has gotten lost in his own mind, straying away from the conversation that the others have taken over at the table. Harry's laying underneath his arm, and he's a warm body that fills his heart with so much love. However, the sharp gasp coming from Niall does draw him back in, startling him just a tad when the sharpness of his voice cuts through his ears. 

"Harry, you're wearing Louis' ring again." 

Louis glances down and sees Harry's hands resting on top the table, clasped together, blue Zircon on full display. He smirks, glancing up to catch Harry's eyes. He's glowing again, under the attention of wearing something so proudly of Louis' on his hand. 

"I am," he whispers softly, untangling his hands and bringing it close to his chest, caressing it close. 

"That's the lil-promise ring he gave you," Niall narrates, like he's trying to understand. "Haven't seen you wear that all week." His eyes cast over to Louis', gleaming. 

"I've worn it. You just haven't seen it." 

Zayn lifts an eyebrow. "You wore it secretly?" 

"As a necklace," Harry answers, blushing. 

"I put the ring back on him this morning. Felt it appropriate," Louis adds in, reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together. He brings their hands to his lips and kisses across Harry's knuckles. "A promise indeed worth upholding." 

"And what's that promise?" Liam wonders, getting excited. 

Swear, these boys are way too invested in their relationship. More than Louis would like, honestly. It's both annoying and endearing. 

"That we'll marry one day." 

All eyes dart to Harry, and he smiles. "Surprise?" They're all still too stunned to speak, and when there is no change to their reaction, swaying one way or the next, Harry slumps, growing unsure. "Is that ... you lot think it's not a good idea then?" 

Louis rests his hand flat on Harry's back, soothing him. That alone makes the others react. 

"What? No. It's a wonderful idea," Niall reassures quickly. "It's long over due. Trust me." 

"I'm just in shock." Zayn blinks, staring at the ring. "We all knew this day would come. Just cant believe it's here." A smile takes over. "But I'm glad. Really. You two always talked about marriage." 

"I mean - you two have been bloody in love with each other for the past three years. I think if you two can keep that up while apart, then you have nothing to worry about," Liam adds as an after thought, looking so proud, so happy for them. It's refreshing. 

Instant relief floods Harry's system, and he turns to look up at Louis with that same about of happiness and beauty that he had from this morning. This proposal is everything to them. Marriage. Their future, it's everything that they've talked about when they were young and in love, years ago when the thought of such a strong commitment was new and fresh. Louis isn't scared about it. He's excited and hopeful, ready to tackle on this new journey with Harry by his side. They've already hit rock bottom in their relationship, all that's left for them is to go up, together, hand in hand. 

The lads are already on about planning the wedding and who gets to do what. Fight for best man is on, even on who gets to marry them. It's quite comical to watch as they plan out something that he and Harry have already talked about. They already know how they'll marry. The same plans they had back then still sit present to this day. Their wedding will be private and quaint, something for themselves and not for the world to see. At one point, they talked about eloping, maybe with their family and close friends. They never sought something big and extreme. The party would be after, more of a celebration. But when they exchange their vows, that's something for only their ears to hear, something for their eyes to witness. 

Honestly, Louis is getting excited just thinking about it. 

It's moments like these where Louis realizes where his true happiness lies. He loves his friends. Loves how strong their friendship has grown over the three years of Harry's departure. But nothing compares to now. Being here with his friends and with Harry by his side. He's denied himself of this happiness and freedom all this time, and now he gets it back. Their friends mean the world to him, and Harry means the world to him. Now, his two worlds can finally be together again. 

Louis glances over at Harry, seeing his green eyes already looking back at him, so in love, so bright. He's everything Louis has ever dreamed of. Reaching up, he cups the side of the boy's jaw, lightly tracing his cheekbone. 

"Happy?" he questions softly, privately, only for him to hear. 

Harry's smile is near blinding. "Very happy." Leaning up, he hovers his lips above Louis, whispering the words against him. "Fiancé." 

Louis kisses him hard. 

Chapter Text

The hiatus, it's definitely been quite the journey. One that did not start off too well but has blossomed into something amazing. Something wonderful. Harry and Louis are married now. Barely lasting months of simply being fiancés before they took matters in to their own hands. Some might say it's too forward. Maybe too fast when they have too much to work on. But ... semantics. They did it on their terms and when it felt right to them. 

Meaning, they got married when least expected. Like they originally planned, they eloped. Without telling anyone at first. Shortly after Harry went on break, they booked a flight out to Jamaica, intending to spend weeks there forgetting about the world and putting all their troubles in the past. That was a problem for another day. It was three nights in when they ran off to do it, after dancing together under the moonlight and exchanging soft kisses along the sea side. Their marriage was inevitable.

Sun kissed under the Caribbean sun and burnt skin warmed into a nice golden tan. Harry had a flower crown atop his head, pinks and yellows that complemented the white outfit he wore. Toes in the sand. A swift breeze blowing by. The sun was just setting, lovely hues of orange and blue painting the sky in a creation of art, two colors blurring together, mixing, two hearts becoming one. Their wedding was everything it could possible be dreamed of. Everything they ever wanted.

However, the eloping matter of it all wasn't much appreciated when they informed their friends and family. It happened after they exchanged rings and promised their vows. They definitely got an earful from everyone on the phone call. From their parents, siblings, and friends. All of them definitely had something to say. The wedding they had all been waiting for, since they were children honestly, they didn't get to be a part of. Again, semantics.

In the end, they were happy nonetheless. Although they expressed their sadness for not being a part of such a wonderful day, they had their best wishes. Sent lots of gifts. Then threw a grand celebration once they got back to London. It was sort of like getting married all over again when they had a party with the lot of them, but for fun, no stress, for show with their friends and family. It's definitely been quite the time since the hiatus started. 

Now they're back home, residing in Louis' apartment together. Harry had very easily moved all his necessities into Louis' place and sold a couple of homes that he bought across the world. They plan to look for another place within the year, at least once Louis' new label has taken off and found its footing. They're husbands now. Married. Holding the key to each other's heart. Every moment since they rekindled has been an ongoing process of building their relationship and growing closer to one another. They're constantly working on things, practicing ways to better communicate and never lose the control on their relationship. 

Harry's been writing. Working on finding himself and expressing words on his own terms. As of now, he's free. No label. No contract. No record to put out. He's doing things he wants to do. Getting help on things that have been holding him back and working towards a better self to love. Louis there with him, at every step. Either being support of Harry's personal growth or being right alongside him as they become stronger husbands together.

When Louis' not doing that, he's building his empire. His label. Everything he's been working towards since he first stepped foot in London Records is now finally coming to a head. Harry's hiatus has really helped him on that too, having the ever so supportive and useful husband right there by his aid. He's already transferring a few artist that he worked with at his old label, those who were at the end of their contract with London Records and looking to seek new adventures. There's also a few he's scavenged throughout London, new and upcoming acts that he's went out and watched at dive bars and local shows with Harry by his side. 

It's amazing. Being so close to the goal he's always thought about. Like everything in his life is finally slipping together. He's got Harry back. Married to him, in fact. And now he's got his company, his record label. It's taken lots of heart break and pain, lots of stress and late nights, but here he is. At the top of his game. 

"You okay in here?" 

The voice, it cuts through sharply, bringing Louis back to the reality he's living in now. 

Louis shifts from where he's standing at the window of his new office, in his newly built building, and smiles at the doorway where Gigi stands. She's holding a box of her things back from London Records in her hands, probably stopping by so she can get set up in her new office here. Louis hired her for Public Relations, knowing very well she works good on upholding an artists image. She's outweighed her work as a reception, and Louis sees big things with her in this company. 

"I'm good," he responds with a sigh, leaning against the window and now facing her. "Crazy that I'm at this point now. Was always just a dream." 

Gigi smiles, stepping further in to the office. "A dream come true it looks." Her eyes glance around the room, at the empty office. All that's in there for now is a desk, a couple chairs, and a lounger. Decorating the place will eventually come about. "You're going to do great things here, Lou. Changing peoples lives." 

"To those who deserve it, too," Louis reminds. "I've seen so many acts that have what it takes but not anyone willing to give them a chance. This new boy band I discovered is sick, and the head of London Records wouldn't even listen to the demo."

Gigi smacks her lips together. "What a shame on them." She scans the room once more. "Where's Harry at? Figured he'd be here already." 

Louis hums softly and turns around again, gazing at the view he has of the city. It's very lively mid-afternoon. Quite the sight. "He said he had something to do this morning. Should be on his way." 

"I'll let you be then." She raises the box in her hands. "Want to drop this off real quick. See you at work next week?" 

Louis chuckles under his breath. "I suppose so." 

The click of her heels signify her departure, and then the entire floor is completely silent. 

The construction of this place had been on full swing for the past couple months. It came together nicely and quickly, and Louis is quite surprised how perfect everything turned out. There's always the initial nerves of how his vision will play out, but everything has upheld. Today's the first time he's actually gotten to step inside the building, and the first place he managed to go was his office. He's saving the tour for when Harry arrives, so they can experience the dream together. 

Louis remains at the window surveying all that is below where he stands. It's easy to feel so powerful when he's up high like this. The building is only ten stories up, and being uphill has its perks. His view is everything he envisioned, especially where he chose to have his office located. The best view in all of London, a direct sight to the blinding lights of the city. Louis is mesmerized.

The windows are so large and grand, completing the back wall and bringing in so much natural light to the room. He considered getting curtains at one point, but that thought is now thrown out. Having a naked eye of the city is something he wants to look at everyday when he's here working on something he loves. He can't wait until the day the office opens up, when everyone else gets to experience what he is right now. 

 "Quite the sight, huh?" 

Louis jerks at the sudden sound of the voice but instantly relaxes when he recognizes it. Turning around, a bright smile over takes his face when he sees Harry walking in to the room, a vase of flowers in his hand. "It is, isn't it?" 

"Not talking about the city." Harry walks up and meets Louis where he stands, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. "Grabbed you something on the way. A little welcome gift to your new office." 

Louis lets out a breath, happy, content, and grabs the vase from Harry's hands. "You know I'm shit at taking care of plants." 

"Please, Louis. They're fake." 

Louis snorts as he walks past Harry to set them on top of his desk, right next to the small picture frame he has of the two of them in Jamaica. He smiles at the memory of their trip, when they got married. He touches the ring on his finger as a reminder. 

"Your office needs a little bit more decorations, dear. Quite plain, don't you think?" Harry mumbles. 

Louis turns around and sees Harry now standing there in front of him. He smirks, leaning back on the desk and spreading his legs a little, inviting. "I'm sure you can liven it up for me." He scans the room. "It is quite private though." 

"You have too many windows." Harry steps in his space and grabs the collar of his shirt, undoing the top button, smirking when Louis raises an eyebrow. 

"Nobody can see us up here love. Windows are tinted on the outside." 

Harry undoes another button. "You have windows to the hallway. Makes it hard for a lunch time blow job." 

Louis rolls his eyes, hands creeping around Harry's waist and sneaking underneath his shirt, palms placing flat on the bare skin of his back. "Those have curtains. Don't worry." 

Harry undoes two more buttons, and when enough of Louis' chest is exposed, he gets his hands on him, fingers dancing across his sternum and down his belly. "Oh, I'm not worried. Not now at least." 

"What are you getting at, Styles?" 

"I'm married now, remember?" Harry raises an eyebrow, sass biting his tone. Louis preens, not even remotely effected. "Ever had sex on an office desk?" 

Louis snorts. "Can't say I have, love." 

"Me either." Harry purses his lips together, in contemplation, as he scans the length of the desk. He's calculating his next move, slowly, hands still roaming all over Louis' body as his eyes settle down into his lap. His lovely cock twitches in those wonderful suit pants. Harry smirks. "You want to give it a try?" 

Louis tightens his hands around Harry and yanks him closer, pulling him flushed against his body. "Baby. I'm supposed to give you a tour of the place." 

"Okay. Fuck me now, give me a tour later." 

Louis stands, shifting his hand up Harry's chest and running his finger down the boy's lip. "Such dirty words from such a pretty mouth." 

"What are you going to do about it?"

The snarky comment ignites Louis, as it always does when Harry gets into this bratty mood. He loves it. Thrives on it. Craves it. The fire that had been burning since their Jamaica trip has yet to cease, has only grown stronger as each day passes. His love and passion for the boy is infinite, and the lust that is looming over his bones is becoming too strong for him to push away. After all, they are the only ones here. Today is meant as a celebration for the completion of the building, and if his husband wants to reward him by having amazing sex on top of his desk, then so be it. Louis' never one to deny his boy of anything. 

Moving his hand, Louis places it on the back of Harry's neck, drawing him in, their lips clashing together. An airy whimper simpers out of the boy, and it gets sucked away with the press of Louis' tongue in his mouth. Louis' other hand curves around his back, palm gentle as he touches, lightly tracing the knobs of his spine. The sentiment and carefulness is brief, and then he's digging his fingers in, turning Harry around and bending him back on the desk. He easily goes without complaint, moaning when Louis pushes in closer and leans over him, kissing him hard, rutting their hips together and drawing out more desperate pleas from the boy. 

Harry's hands scrape underneath Louis' arms to get to his back, clawing at his shirt, pressing him further in to the desk. The air grows thick the more they kiss, the more their tongues chase the taste of each other. Louis' hand moves to the outside of Harry's thigh and lifts it up, caressing it around his hip. They're breathing heavy, loud and panty, mixed in with the filter of moans and whimpers. It's a symphony in conjunction with the slick sounds their lips make each time they connect, heat and passion burning high through their bodies. 

They're on the verge of ripping each other's clothes off when there is a knock on the door. Effectively, Louis pulls away, head tilting up to scowl at the person who so rudely interrupted what he was so intensely about to get started. Niall. 

"What do you want?" he grumbles, standing upright, guiding Harry to sit properly with hands on his hips. Harry groans and slouches forward, resting the side of his head against Louis' chest and frowning. Always so pouty when he doesn't get what he wants. 

"Have you two not gotten enough of each other yet?" Niall questions as he walks into the room. He takes a seat in the chair in front of the desk and looks at the two of them expectedly. 

"Were you about to have sex on the desk?" is the next question that follows, being that from Liam as he enters the room as well. 

Louis lets out a breath, annoyed, and buries his face on top of Harry's curls. Harry giggles, arms wrapping around his waist. 

"We were about to," he answers. "If you didn't barge in here." 

Niall pouts his lips in a mock-apologetic way. "Oh, poor you. Can't get properly dicked. What ever shall you do?" 

Harry makes a face at him. 

"Back to the desk," Liam says, taking the open chair next to Niall, resting his elbow atop his knees. "I've tried getting Sophia to do that and she's not - "

"Liam," Louis' voice cuts in, lifting his face out of Harry's hair. "No body cares." Sighing, he looks over at Niall. "What're you lot doing here anyway?" 

Niall spread his arms to the side, like the answer was obvious. "I thought we were celebrating? The building is up. Project completed. Dream come true." 

"I didn't know we were celebrating," Louis mumbles under his breath. He takes a seat next to Harry on the desk, placing a hand on top of his thigh so they can remain close. Harry smiles and leans his head on Louis' shoulder. 

"We sent you a text this morning," Niall reminds. "Seriously, do you ever check that thing?" 

Liam smacks his lips together. "Clearly not. He was trying to shag his husband like he doesn't get to do that every night." 

"Hey," Harry whines, making that cute disgruntled face that Louis wants to always kiss. He refrains just this one, for the sake of their friends. "We didn't have sex last night."

"Oh, no." Niall pouts.

"This morning, however." Harry smirks, nibbling on his lips when Niall and Liam grimace. Louis laughs. 

"Hey," Zayn's voice echoes from outside the door, drawing attention from all of them. "You were supposed to grab them and head downstairs." His brows furrow together upon glancing at all four of them. "Clearly, you got comfy in here?" 

Niall waves his hand off as he stands from the chair. "We're on our way. Just had to stop them from having sex in here real quick." 

Zayn makes a face. 

"Who knows how long we would have to wait on them if we didn't walk in," Liam continues, standing as well, him and Niall joining Zayn at the door. Louis and Harry, however, do not move. 

"What is going on?" Louis asks. "Nobody is even supposed to be here. Only Harry and I." 

"That's the point. We're throwing you surprise," Zayn comments, arms crossing over his chest. "Harry was supposed to distract you long enough for us to get set up." 

Louis' eyes cast his way, and he winces. "Whoops." 

"Sex wasn't supposed to be the distraction," Niall reminds. 

"We have a party set up downstairs in the lobby," Zayn explains. "Food. Booze. Family and friends. Waiting for the guest of honor." 

Harry lets out a breath. "Give us a moment, okay?" Zayn narrows his eyes at him. "Please?" 

"Alright. We'll meet you downstairs." 

"Finish it up whatever it is that you two were doing," Niall says with a wave of his hands. 

The three boys set off down the halls, and once they disappear behind the elevators, Louis steps off the desk and walks in front of Harry again. A smile graces his lips, green eyes blinking up as he winds his arms around Louis' waist again, drawing him in. 

"Babe. We're not about to have sex. Have to rain check on that." 

Harry giggles as he tilts his head into Louis' chest, cuddling in. "I just wanted a few moments of you to myself." 

"You have me everyday, dear." 

"Yeah but ... I wanted to talk to you about something before we head down there." 

Louis furrows his brows together, drawing back a little. "Don't tell me you want to divorce. Hardly been a year, my love." 

"No, it's not that." Harry eases at the playfulness in Louis' tone, muscles relaxing. "I wanted to talk about this." 

"What's this?" 

Sighing breathily, Harry looks around the room, hoping that Louis gets the hint. He doesn't. Still looks as confused as ever. 

"Use your words, love." 

"Right." Harry clears his throat, smiling despite the nerves creeping in. He stands from the desk, seeing eye to eye with Louis and wraps his arms around his neck. "I wanted to talk about the fact that you have a new label, and I am an unsigned artist." 

Louis chuckles, now picking up what Harry is putting down. His boy does struggle with his words. They both do at times. These hard conversations, the scary ones, it's what they're still working on. This is a big step in the right direction because Louis knows it's hard for Harry to bring it up and ask, bring up something from their past that inevitable was the down fall to their relationship prior.

They haven't mentioned it at all, the possibility of Harry signing under his label. In fact, it hasn't been mentioned at all. Suppose it was just a matter of time. 

"Are you wanting to sign with me, love?" 

Harry's eyes cast down, a pink tint coating his cheeks. He nods slowly, fingers curling into the small wisps of hair at the nape of Louis' neck. 

"You sure about that?" 

His green eyes look up. "I want to start over with you and your team, Lou. For years, I've been so restrained. I've had no control over anything. I trust you." 

"Harry," he sighs, an uncertain tilt to his tone. "I mean - how do you think it would look having a producer and a signed artist together. I mean married. It's not me they'll talk about, love. It's you. That's what I don't want." 

"But you would be able to spin it in a way that doesn't make me look bad. Right?" 

Louis tilts his head, weighing his thoughts. "I probably can. I'm good at what I do and who I hire." 

Harry chuckles. "So, don't you want that, too?" He kisses Louis on the lips. "Our dream. It can be real. Let them talk. Let them speculate. I trust you. I trust everyone who works with you and for you." Kisses him again and again, trying to convey all the passion of his words the simple press of their lips.

Louis retracts with a smile, laughing airily, resting their foreheads together. "If that's what you want, love. Then so be it. I want that too."  

"Our dream. Finally." 

Louis kisses his nose. "I suppose we have more than one thing to celebrate then." 

"You sure we can't have a quickie on the desk? They can wait a little longer." 

"Come on, H." Louis rolls his eyes, trailing his fingers down Harry's arm until he reaches his hands, lacing them together. "Let's go share the news with the others. We can celebrate privately later. Maybe when they all left." 

Harry hums thoughtfully, following Louis out the door but glancing behind towards the office. "It'll be night by then. Would be fun to have sex by the window." 

"You're a menace." Louis presses the down button for the elevator, and while waiting, he turns to Harry, jerking him forward by the grip on his hips. 

"A menace you married." 

"I don't regret that, yet," he smirks, swaying their bodies together. Harry makes a sound. "Speaking of, since you want to sign to my label. I have a surprise I've been working on for you." 

Harry wiggles his eyebrows. "Really? A present?" 

"Spoiled," Louis tsks. He momentarily glances up to see the elevator almost reaching their floor. "It's a song. I wrote it for you. Maybe one day to sing in front of others." 

"What's it called?" 

The elevator chimes, and the doors open up. They don't move. 

"It's called home. It's about you." 

Harry sucks in a sharp breath and then rushes forward, kissing Louis with all the amount of passion and love that he consumes inside of his body for this boy. 

"I can't wait to read it, Louis." 

And they kiss again. 

///

"So hot that I couldn't take it, wanna wake up and see your face
And remember how good it was being here last night.
Still high with a little feeling.
I see the smile as it starts to creep in, it was there I saw it in your eyes."

Abruptly, Harry pulls back from the microphone, dropping the headphone from over his ears. He lowers it to his neck, green eyes glossing over as he glances through the window into the control room. Louis smiles at him from the other side, all crinkled eyed, leaning forward and pressing the button  to get on the intercom. 

"What's wrong, baby? Why'd you stop?" 

Harry wipes his eyes and chuckles wetly. "You really wrote this song about me?" 

Louis smiles softly, relaxing into his chair. He's so glad it's just them in here. Some of the others wanted to sit in and listen to Harry's new upcoming single, but this was a moment just for them, only for Louis to hear. What he didn't account for was how emotional Harry would get, crying after each verse of the song just to double check Louis really wrote it about him. 

It's cute and endearing, how much Harry underestimates Louis' love for him. Even after all this time, being married and back together, he's always surprised. Just last week, Louis brought home different flowers every day just so he could see the adorning smile on Harry's face. It was completely worth it. 

"I did. Now finish the song, dear. Can't keep stopping." 

Harry blows out a breath and nods, lifting the headphones over his ear again. He steps forward to the microphone and takes a second, eyes closing as he counts his breath and then resumes singing. 

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark with an empty heart.
But you say you feel the same.
Could we ever be enough, baby we could be enough." 

Harry blows out a breath and closes his eyes. He can't sing the song without getting choked up every second, and it's times like this where he's thankful Louis knows him so well. Surely, if there were others in the booth helping him record, they would be annoyed with him. It's not typical for so many pauses and breaks like this, especially for Harry to cry and take a breath every chance that he can get it. No song has ever made him feel this way. No one has even wrote a song about him before. 

How the hell is he supposed to finish this song with Louis on the other side of the window looking at him like that? Harry's heart is nearly swooning in his chest. 

"Love. Come on now." 

Harry opens his eyes again, blinking, face scrunching up as if he's trying to hold back all the tears that are ready to come out. "Louis. This song is beautiful." 

"You're beautiful," he responds so easily, so effortlessly. Harry's stomach flutters in a wave of butterflies, as it always does when he talks to him like this. "I'd love for you to finish the song, though. Got to have an acoustic demo before we grow old, darling." 

Harry huffs out another breath. "Right. I'll do that." Then he steps forward again, this time, closing his eyes as he sings so he doesn't have the piercing blue of Louis staring right at him. Maybe if he blocks the source of all the overwhelming emotions he's feeling, then he might be able to finish the song without stopping. 

Here goes take six. 

"And it's alright, calling out for somebody to hold tonight.
When you're lost I'll find a way , I'll be your light.
You'll never feel like you’re alone, I'll make this feel like home." 

He finishes the song with a shaky breath coming out, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. Green eyes opening up, they water with more tears, building up. He wipes them away with the back of his hand, using the other to pull the headphones off and place on the little stool next to him. Louis is staring back at him, grinning from ear to ear, his own eyes glossing over. He's fighting back the urge to get emotional too, and Harry laughs wetly. 

"Alright, sunshine. Come on over here," he speaks into the intercom. 

Harry is quick as he shuffles out the booth, opening the door and near crashing in to Louis' body. He scrambles on to his lap, body wrapped around him like a koala, arms and legs hugging every inch and curve that he can. That's when all the tears start pouring out, dripping down Louis' neck and getting all over the collar of his shirt. 

Louis shushes him softly, hands rubbing up and down his back and doing his best not to laugh. He's always been deemed the dramatic one, but now it might seem as if Harry's claiming that title right now. 

"Harry, what on earth are you bloody crying for?" Louis slides his hand underneath Harry's shirt. 

"Because," he whispers into his neck, sniffling, pulling back just a little to look at his husband. His smile is wet and snotty, but Louis' fingers trace lightly down the curve of his jaw, staring back at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world. Harry doesn't hesitate to use the collar of his shirt to wipe away that snot. Louis doesn't mind. "Louis, the song is beautiful. You don't understand how much it means to me that you feel this way about us - about me." 

Louis' entire face softens. "Well, bug. I don't think you realize how much I love you." 

"I love you." 

Louis chuckles, kissing the tip of Harry's nose. 

"You're my home, Louis. Always." 

"You're quite emotional, love," Louis teases, now carding his fingers through the boy's curls, scratching at the back of his head. He rests his hand flat against his neck, comforting him. "Not pregnant, are you?" 

Harry cackles, body curving in to his as he places a kiss to the side of Louis' neck. "I'm not. You know I cry over anything." 

"That I do, love." He kisses Harry's head. "You know you'll have to sing the song once without stopping, right?" 

Harry groans pathetically as he places his hands on top of his husbands shoulders, balancing himself on top his lap. He wiggles around just because, smirking when Louis hisses. "The song makes me emotional. Quite hard to not cry when you write something so beautiful." 

"Babe, you're grinding on my lap. Seems more like you're horny over anything." 

Harry smirks, stilling his hips. "Sorry. Anything you do makes me get this way." Louis rolls his eyes. "For the record, I got emotion when I wrote and recorded If I could Fly. Something else that's related to you." 

"Seems like if you could fly, it would be home, eh?" 

"If I could fly home," Harry recites, nibbling on his bottom lip. "It fits together." 

"Our songs are a perfect match then." Louis angles up to kiss his lips softly. "Kind of like us." 

Harry draws him back in for another kiss with his arms going around his neck, pulling him in. The privacy of the room allows them to go all in, angling their heads and deepening the kiss. It's slick and wet, and the taste of this mornings smoothie still lingers in the traces of Harry's mouth. Louis licks it all in, savoring his flavor, kissing him dirty and drawing weak whimpers from the boy. 

His hands roam up and down Harry's back, tracing light patterns along the smoothness of his skin. They settle at the dip of his spine, pulling him forward, weighing heavy and hard on top of his lap. Harry wiggles again, grinding down, breathing shakily as he feels the twitch of Louis' cock between the layers of clothes of their flushed bodies. Louis' hands cast lower, fingertips sneaking into the pack of Harry's jeans and pressing in to his ass, drawing out another high pitched moan. 

Once again, a knock on the door draws them apart, and the look in Louis' eyes as he glances that way is enough to make Gigi retract her body out the door. 

"Holy fuck," she yelps, turning around, eyes widening. Definitely not expecting that when she walked in. "Are you fucking or just sitting there ... with clothes?" 

Louis blows out a breath and looks at Harry, his green eyes shining and blown. "We're fucking," he answers, giggling with his boy.

"Not yet anyway," Harry corrects as he leans in, resting their foreheads together. Gigi's heels click across the floor, and he angles his head towards her. "Stopped us in time. As always."

She makes a face. "This office isn't meant for the two of you to live out all your sexual fantasies." She stops in front of the two and lifts an eyebrow, scanning across the way they're sitting, all flushed and inappropriately, at least knowing there are people here working. "You going to right yourself or no?"  

"I own the building, love. I can do whatever I want." For emphasis, he spreads his hands over Harry's ass and smiles devilishly. Gigi shakes her head. "I'm the boss."

Harry chuckles. "Gigi, you should definitely leave now."

"I am not," she huffs, grabbing the nearest chair and rolling it near, sitting down in front the two boys. "We need to discuss promotion for Little Mix's upcoming album and tour release. Figure out ways to get the hype up. And Five Seconds of Summer. They're coming back from break, and we need to get them in the tabloids again." 

"Anything else, dear?"

"Harry is about to release a single. Wouldn't hurt to get some pics of him. Maybe together considering his new song is about you. They just released an article on London's top couples, and you two are at the top of the list. Would be good press to get a pap walk. Look good in it too."

"Harry always looks good," Louis informs.   

"I also have a new PR strategy for Shawn. Ease a coming out for him. He was so restricted with his old label but we can work it in a way where no one is given fault. Do something similar with what we did for Harry. He's got a boyfriend you know. For many years." 

"Louis," Harry whispers, drawing his attention. "Seems like you need to get to work." 

"That's what I'm trying to tell him," Gigi notes. "Plus, Harry, your summer single is up for so many awards right now. Potential Grammy nomination. We need to figure out a path for it and which shows he wants to appear or perform at." 

Louis hums happily, trailing his hands around his body and resting flat on his chest. "Wow. Don't tell me Medicine is the song that people are blasting in the car with the windows down?"

Harry flushes red and hides his face in Louis' neck.

"Strangely, it is." Gigi smiles despite herself. "Was not expecting a Harry Styles sex song to be the summer rage."  

"Wait until you hear No Control." Louis winks. 

Gigi groans, tilting her head back on the chair and laughing. "Oh, no. Not another." 

"Louis and I wrote Medicine," Harry admits, preening. "Of course it would be a banger." 

Louis snorts at his choice of words. "Banger, indeed." 

"Yeah, and now the whole world knows that Harry enjoys sucking dick. Quite the message," Gigi teases. "How did your mother react to that song?" 

Harry giggles. "I told her to ignore the song. Don't ask questions." 

"Pleasant." Gigi stands from the chair and reaches over to grab a folder that's resting atop the sound machine. She tucks it under her arm. "I also came to stop by and let you know Harry's time is up. Selena's about to record." 

Louis sighs as he pats Harry's bum, urging him to stand. He follows suit. 

"Don't forget about the new demo track from Dua tomorrow. It's the final listening before we start her album promotion." 

"You got it, boss." Louis winks. Once Gigi walks out the room, he turns to Harry, smiling, cupping the side of his face. "Ready to go home then, darling?" 

Harry smiles brighter than the sun. "I'm already home." 

"Marry me then." 

"What? Louis, we're already married." 

"I don't care." Louis leans in to kiss his lips. "Marry me again. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next week. Marry me always." 

Harry giggles with each press of Louis' lips to his skin, peppering him with kisses and love. "You're quite the sap, you know?" 

"Lets get out of here. I'll get you a ring on the way home."

They lace their fingers together and exit the control room, walking down the corridor together and pressing the down button to the elevator. Once it reaches their floor, the doors open up, empty inside as they step in. When the doors shut, Louis turns around, crowding up into Harry's space and pressing him against the walls of the elevator, pinning his hands above his head. Harry coos, body arching up into his. 

"Well. This is very Christian Grey of you." 

Louis tightens his fingers around Harry's wrist, drawing out a pained whimper. "We do have ties at home." 

"Kinky," he hums in response. 

Smirking, Louis leans in, attaching his lips to the base of Harry's neck. He kisses him hard, sucking in a bruise to the delicacy of his skin. It pulls a guttural moan out of him, loud enough for the people on the passing floors to hear. Heat pools in Louis' stomach at just the thought of it, retracting a hand from Harry's wrist and trailing it down to his pants, rubbing his cock, releasing the friction that he feels building up there. Harry's hips buck into the touch, rolling in to every press of his husbands hand. Tilting his head to the side, he gives Louis more access, feeling the traces of his teeth nibbling in to him. 

The elevator chimes once they reach the bottom floor, and the doors open. 

"For gods sake. Not again." 

Louis abruptly pulls away, breathing heavily, angling his head back to see where the comment was made.  

Because there before him, stood everyone. Quite literally everyone, and they're all staring at him, the way he is pressing Harry so closely into the elevator walls. Disheveled and flushed. His mother is there, alongside Harry's, standing at the forefront of the group. It's the only thing that urges Louis to step away out of Harry's space. There next to them is Gemma - Phoebe, Daisy, Lottie and Fizzy. The twins, Doris and Ernie. Mark and Robin. Niall and Hailee. Sophia and Liam. Gigi and Zayn. All there, about to catch the two of them having sex in the elevator. 

Classy. 

But then his eyes continue to scan across the lobby, where they're gathered. He feels Harry coming up behind him, pressing to his back, arms wrapping around his middle as if to be the anchor while he soaks it all in. The first floor is completely decorated. Banners hanging on the walls. Twirlers up any space of ceiling that there is. Balloons and confetti a mixtured mess on the floors. The reception desk is encompassed with bottles of champagne and a cake, all in celebration for something. Louis cannot tell just yet. 

At most, the banners on the wall say Congrats! It's almost in comparison to the celebration they threw in surprise when the building had completed its construction. Except, this one is more grand. More lively. An actual surprise this time around. 

"What's going on?" Louis breathes, stepping out the elevator with Harry clinging to his back. 

"Happy Anniversary, my love." 

"What?" Louis turns, glancing at Harry. He's glowing, once again. "Anniversary? We haven't even been married a year, yet." 

Harry grabs Louis' hands and walks in front, leading him into the crowd of all their friends and family. "No, but. It's been a year since we got back together. Since I went on break. Since everything was right in the world." 

"We're celebrating you guys," Zayn speaks up, raising the wine glass in his hands. 

"And we wanted to show how happy we are that you two beat the odds," Anne adds, her smile warming their hearts. "We know this road hasn't been easy, but you have all our support. Always. We love the two of you so much." 

Jay raises a glass as well. "To Harry and Louis. A lifetime of happiness to come. With each other. With your friends. And with your family." 

Louis chuckles, eyes watering up, warmth spreading his chest. "Wow. Definitely caught me off guard there." 

"Harry was supposed to distract you again," Niall comments, lifting an eyebrow. "I can see his tactics haven't changed."

"Hey," Harry pouts.

"You lot really don't have to do this. Much appreciated, though."

Hailee waves him off. "Trust me, Lou. You deserve it. We're happy for you guys."

"Call it wedding reception part two," Liam smirks.

"Plus," Hailee continues, eyes softening. "Lots of good things have come since that night. Not just for the two of you, but for all of us. We're together again. The eight of us." 

"Alright then," Lotties cuts in, plugging her phone into the nearest speaker. Music erupts across the room, and everyone begins to disperse around to get the celebration going. "Time to party." 

With everyone now distracted, Louis turns to Harry, drawing him in close, arms going around his body. He leans in to kiss him, softly and careful, a simple press of their lips together. Always in their own little moment. 

"Quite the surprise, love. I suppose all those tears were just for show then?" 

"No," Harry giggles, collapsing forward, trusting Louis' hands on his body to hold him up. "They were very much real." Louis hums. "By the way, I had a much different surprise instead. The party was the lads idea." 

"Of course." Louis shakes his head. "What was your idea of an anniversary surprise?" 

Harry's lip curve up in a cocky way, eyes twinkling. His hands rest flat on Louis' chest, toying with the buttons on his collar. Teasing, he undoes one, slipping his finger through just to get the feel of his skin. "We would be naked. Alone." A noisy sigh comes out, dreamily. "Had a little show I wanted to put on for you." 

"Can you not still do that later?" 

The boy giggles. "I suppose I can. My outfit is ready underneath." 

Louis' eyes widen, interested, hands lowering down to his ass. "Outfit? Is there lace?" 

"Of course. How else would we celebrate this anniversary?" 

"Right." Louis nods his head, like he understands. Harry's always been a little minx. "And for the other anniversaries we have, what celebration should I get then?" 

"What other anniversaries do we have then?" Harry giggles lightly. 

"Well there's tomorrow. The anniversary of when I asked you to marry me." Harry opens his mouth, but Louis continues. "The day we got married is an anniversary. The night we had our first kiss is an anniversary. Our first date. Lots of anniversaries." 

"So, we have five then?" 

"Marry me." 

"Louis," Harry giggles, ducking against his neck. "We're already married. You've already asked me earlier." 

"So? Marry me again." 

"I'll marry you all over again. Always." 

Louis leans in and kisses Harry on the lips.

"You're my home, Louis Tomlinson," he whispers as he pulls back, whispering the words into his mouth, feeling as if Louis' heart beats with his own. 

"As you are mine, love." 

Fin.