Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For once, Hunk doesn't wake up sore. It's strange, too. Not that he's complaining, but ever since becoming the yellow paladin he's never not felt some part of him being sore. Well no, there was that one time after being in a healing pod. Hunk doesn't think he had been in a pod though.

Hunk can feel the wind coming in through his open window, the smell of it reminds him of earth. Birds chirp happily in the distance. Hunk would prefer to hear the trills and coos of other bird species, but anything that sounds like home brings a nostalgia to Hunk's mind. His eyes mist up a little. He's not sure how he got onto whatever planet they're currently on, but it reminds him of home.

Eventually Hunk opens his eyes. The sky is a beautiful blue that Hunk hasn't seen since going out into space. The plants look like ones that belong to Earth too. His room even looks like the one back at his parent's house. And this is too weird for Hunk right now. God, when he buries his tearful face into his pillow to muffle his crying, it smells like home.

Hunk can't hear his parents puttering about the kitchen, but that doesn't worry Hunk too much. What does worry Hunk is that he seems to be on Earth, and he has no recollection of how he got there. Hunk decides it doesn't matter. He's not going to waste a single second of his borrowed time. For it is borrowed, he's sure.

His phone chimes from his nightstand. The date isn't important, but the day is Saturday, and the first thing he sees are three unread text messages. Hunk is suddenly hit with the realization he hasn't seen a cell phone in a very long time. He has to guess what his password is, and he gets it wrong twice.

The first message is from Lance, and reads as a good-morning text. It's weird, even for Lance, but Hunk lets it go in favor of checking the three other messages.

The next is from Keith. That in itself is weird. Keith might have gotten better at the whole teamwork thing since joining the Blade, but as far as Hunk knew the man would never send a text when he could talk. And the text was pretty confusing too. It was a reminder to meet up with the other members of Voltron at a park. At least, Hunk figured it was a park after doing a quick google search.

The third text is from Shay. Also kind of weird since he's not sure he'd even given Shay a way to contact him in the aftermath of Balmera's liberation, but you know whatever. She wanted confirmation on meeting up later that day. Hunk decides with a heavy heart that he has no idea what's going on and should thus excuse himself from the meet up.

But oh, Hunk is such a bad liar. And lying to anyone feels completely awful, especially since he hasn't seen Shay in a very long time. So he tells her he's probably suffering from some major amnesia. And he's sure he is. The last thing he remembered was being on the Castle of Lions. So it's not a lie. It still makes Shay worry about him though, considering she instantly texts to ask if she should come over. Hunk tells her about his supposed plan to meet up with the other paladins.

Shay calls him. And isn't that just the most inexplicable thing. Shay's voice still sounds right, but she sounds more sure of herself than Hunk remembers. And it's not a bad thing. Hunk loves that she speaks more confidently on the phone. He just wishes it wasn't about how he really ought to go to a hospital because there's no such things as paladins anymore, and she's never heard Hunk refer to his group as being 'Paladins.' And when Hunk tries to remind her they are paladins, all she can say is something about a children's cartoon. And Hunk decides that maybe he should invite everyone over to his place.

So he does. The worst thing that could happen is his friends taking him to a psychiatric ward. Or a hospital. Neither ideas seem particularly awful at the moment. And, infact, Hunk thinks maybe he really should go see someone about his temporary insanity. Or maybe his sudden lack of clarity. It's just that Hunk knows he's supposed to be doing something important, but just like when he lost his mind eating that sea gunk when he and Lance got separated from the others, he can't determine what that something is.

Lance is the first to show up. Hunk, as it turns out, lives alone, and so has to let Lance in himself. He was kind of hoping his parents would be there, but honestly it's just good to be taking in Earth again. Every room he goes into he opens a window to let the air and sounds of nature come in. And yes, there's still the sound of traffic and one of his neighbors has a lot of children, but overall it sounds like home. Lance wants him to close the window though, and Hunk can understand why that might be necessary. After all, he's going to want to focus on what's going on.

“You must be really out of it,” Lance makes sure Hunk is settled nicely onto a couch, “You didn't even offer me anything to eat or drink.”

“Oh,” Hunk feels a flush rising to his face, “I'm sorry. Let me-”

“Nah, nope, no, no, no,” Lance gently pushes Hunk back into the couch, “If I want something I can just get it myself. You should be resting.”

The rest of the team slowly filtered in. At some point Allura and Coran called to apologize for not being able to show up. They said they had to man the bakery. Hunk has no idea what that means, aside from the most obvious, so he chooses not to think to hard about it. And Shay shows up. Hunk feels a tightness in his chest at the sight of her. He's so used to thinking of her as this pretty rock alien that seeing a human version of her startles him. And he knows it's Shay, just by looking at her. She might not be gray-ish green anymore, and she might look more human, but Hunk would know the face of Shay anywhere.

Hunk tells them about his last memory. And it comes to him the more he looks at both Keith and Shiro. The castle going haywire, fighting Lotor, losing the Castle. It all comes back to him. They only thing he isn't clear on is how they got back to Earth so quickly. It is at this point his friends give him a concerned look.

“Hunk,” Lance drapes himself around Hunk, and really it's just the sort of thing Lance would do, “It sounds like you had a crazy nightmare.”

Hunk hates lying to his friends, but they don't believe him and he's not going to offer himself up for a vote of no confidence, so instead of insisting it was real, Hunk says, “Yeah. It must have been a nightmare.”

“No more sugar before bed,” Shay sounds concerned, but something in her form relaxes.

“Maybe I should go back to sleep,” Hunk offers weakly.

“I'll stay,” Shay volunteers, “I don't like the idea of leaving you alone right now, baby.”

Hunk can't hide his shock. Yes, he was very much attracted to Shay, and yes he had contemplated the idea of dating her, but saving the Galaxy had won out for him. He had hoped that someday he might see her again, ask her out properly, maybe fall in love someday. But those had been nothing more than dreams. He really must have been missing something because wow, Shay using pet names sounded amazing.

“Eww,” Pidge vacated the armchair quickly, “Get your gooey eyes away from me.”

“I didn't go gooey eyed,” Hunk argues for the sake of distracting himself.

Eventually the only person left is Shay. She leads him by the hand to his bedroom, where they lay down together. Hunk thinks that this is what heaven must feel like. Wrapped up in soft, warm sheets, holding his beautiful girlfriend, and wanting nothing more than to whisper sweet nothings with her. When sleep tugs at him, Hunk falls into it's loving arms willingly. He hopes when he wakes up again, he'll remember this moment.

Chapter Text

Keith does not like the looks of the room he's it. It's devoid of any personality, execpt for maybe the chair he's been tied to. That in itself shows plenty of personality. His hands are zip-tied in front of him, which would normally be a mistake, but Keith can't find his knife or bayard. That means whoever tied him up knows him. His legs are also tied in two places, at the knee with rope, and again at the ankle with zip-tie. His captor doesn't want him to be hurt too badly by struggling, but he also doesn't want Keith going anywhere.

A door opens behind Keith. He can hear two different sets of feet. One is heavy sounding, like their wearing boots, and the other has a distinct click-click-click-click that comes with high heels. Keith keeps his gazed pinned to the floor. Galra soldiers tend to assume that calm looking captives are subdued. They are usually wrong.

A pair of navy blue boots appear in Keith's vision. They are high-heeled, and made of leather. The stiletto looks ridiculously easy to break in a fight and Keith wonders how the hell anyone could be so incompetent. The boots are so ridiculous that Keith can't help but to let his gaze wonder up. Thigh high leather boots meet a stripe of bare flesh. The rest of the thigh is covered in leather shorts, no, a leather jumpsuit which ends in shorts which must be barely covering the butt of the wearer. The man's body before Keith is svelte, toned arms cross over a lean chest. The man's collar bone peeks out from the open collar of the suit.

Even with a mask covering his eyes, Keith knows the face underneath. And isn't this just the most ridiculous thing. Lance has tied him to a chair. Or is rescuing him. Actually, rescuing him seems more likely because why else would Lance look like he just joined a Superhero themed strip club. Still, Keith valiantly fights the warm smile off of his face, and he thinks the contortion makes it look disapproving, because Lance seems to shrink a little bit under his gaze.

“I'm sorry, but you are a really hard guy to track down,” Lance says without any prompting.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Keith can't keep his tone from being a little exasperated.

“Like what?” Lance gives Keith a coy little smirk.

“Like a stripper,” Keith can't control his mouth. And oh no, Lance looks hurt by that.

“Fuck you,” Lance growls, “My costume is amazing!”

“Ditch the boots,” Keith shrugs as best he can with his hands being tied, “How do you run in those?”

“Aquos,” Hunk's voice sounds from somewhere behind them, “Stop antagonizing Wildfire.”

“He insulted my outfit,” Lance, or Aquos as Hunk called him, pouts.

“Just the boots,” Keith chimes in, “And only because you're going to hurt yourself.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to find boots matching my suit?” Lance grumbles, “Nobody makes navy blue leather boots.”

“Not in thigh highs, anyway,” Keith agrees, “So are you going to untie me or should I start trying to break my own body parts to get loose?”

“Please don't do that,” Hunk said, “We just need to talk.”

“Wait, what's going on?” And Keith was confused. He really did think this was a rescue, not that his teammates had captured him for something.

“We need you to join team Voltron,” Lance looks sheepish despite his mask covering 3/4ths of his face.

“Lance, I get that me leaving to work with the Blade of Marmora really shook you guys up, and I know that I haven't been around a lot lately, but I'm back now and-”

“How do you know my name,” Lance sounds panicked.

“Lance, we've been teammates for two years,” Keith grins up at Lance, “A mask really isn't going to keep me from identifying you.”

Lance gives him a horrified look, and Keith's grin drops. Did he mess up? Was he not supposed to know it was Lance? Now that Keith thinks about it, if Lance had tied him up and put on a Superhero costume made out of leather, he probably was hoping Keith wouldn't recognize him. Still, it was a bad plan.

“What are you talking about?” Hunk steps into view, and ho-boy is that get up wild, “Marmora doesn't have partners.”

“I might have hit my head,” Keith admits, feeling a headache coming, “I don't really know what's gong on.”

“Why don't we start with what you remember last?” Lance huffs in agitation.

“The space pirates,” Keith replies easily, “Acxa freed us, and we took her with us. I think I fell asleep in Black.”

Lance's face scrunches in disgust, “I did not need to hear about your sex life.”

“What?” Keith gives him a confused look.

“Ignoring the implications of having done the do with the Black Lion, none of what you said makes any sense,” Hunk replied, “Considering deep space travel isn't possible yet and I think that's what you were describing. Who's Acxa?”

“Not important,” Keith sighs, “Where are we?”

“Also not important,” Lance smirks back at Keith, “So are you saying you'll join Voltron?”

“I already did?” Keith still feels confused, but these are his teammates and he trusts them with his life, just like they trust him.

“Great,” Lance's grin could rival the sun, “Now we can untie you and give you back your knives. Just don't shank us and we're good.”

“So what's the plan?” Keith asks after he's stored his knives away on his belt, only one of which he recognizes but doesn't bother to question.

“Go home, have a normal day, meet up here tomorrow night with the other members and start trying to put the pieces of the Galra puzzle together,” Hunk replied easily, “Well, I need to check in with Miss Balmera first. See you all tomorrow.”

After Hunk leaves, Keith grabs onto Lance's wrist to grab his attention, “I don't know where I live or where I am. Can I crash at yours?”

“S-sure,” Lance seems to fluster, “Since you apparently already know who I am lets just give you everything else needed to kill me.”

“Why would I kill you?” Keith is tired and frustrated, and Lance's distrust isn't helping at all, “You're one of my best friends.”

“Whatever,” Lance scoffs, “Just follow me.”

The couch Lance sets him up on is lumpy, and too short to fully contain the length of Keith's body, but Keith is so tired he doesn't even care anymore. He falls asleep as soon as his head finds a comfortable position against the armrest.

Chapter Text

Pidge feels her headache first. Her mouth tastes like dead rodent and feels like she's been sucking on cotton. She doesn't want to open her eyes, but there isn't a point to keeping them closed if she's awake. The sun streaming in through the window makes her hiss softly, and her flinch alerts her to how badly she's hurt.

“Lance?” She questions when his legs come into view, “What-”

“Shh,” Lance points his rifle (it's not his bayard which is extra weird) in her face, “No talking until Keith gets back.”

Pidge doesn't think she can sit up on her own, so she lets herself stay prone on the smooth leather under her. Lance won't shoot her, even in whatever tripped out mind state he's in. She's sure he's not in his right mind, because Lance would never point a weapon at any of the other paladins. Especially not after what happened with Lotor.

The room they're in is tidy, but kind of dusty. Pidge is on a brown leather couch, and how they got back to Earth so quickly is beyond her. Maybe something happened which caused her to lose a good chunk of memories and turn against her friends the same way Shiro did? That would be unfortunate, especially since she really wants to see her mom soon.

Keith is covered in gore when he comes back, and if that wasn't all the motivation Pidge needs to sit up, she doesn't know what would be. She wants to stand, but her vision swims from just sitting up, so that's not happening.

“You're lucky you're not dead,” Keith says, and wow, that's not what she was expecting to hear but it's Keith, so she shouldn't be that surprised.

“Probably,” She agrees, “What happened?”

“You tried to steal a can of food,” Keith looks serious, “Lance hit you with the butt of his gun.”

“I did what?” Pidge gives Keith a wide eyed, horrified look, “Why would I do that?”

“You tell me,” Keith sits heavily in the armchair across from her.

“I would if I could remember doing it,” Pidge replies, “The last thing I remember is Shiro's clone body accepting him. The Lions were still down. How'd we get back to Earth so quickly?”

“One,” Keith looks pissed, “How do you know Shiro? Two, what are you talking about? Three, none of us have ever left Earth. You might want to think of a better cover story.”

“Shiro's our esteemed leader,” Pidge rolled her eyes, “You know, paladin of the Black Lion. Keith, are you feeling okay?”

“Oh god,” Lance groans from Pidge's right, “We've got a crazy person.”

“I'm not-” Pidge realizes the pointlessness of her own statement before she can finish it.

“You're probably really confused right now,” There's a look in Keith's eyes that Pidge has never seen before, like pity but less mean, “Let's start with something easier. What's your name?”

“You know who I am,” Pidge rolls her eye, “Or are trying to check me for brain damage?”

“Yes,” Lance says a little too quickly, “We're trying to make sure you don't have any brain damage.”

“My name is Katie Holt. I go by Pidge,” She says, “I'm fifteen years old. My parents are Coleen and Sam Holt. I have an older brother named Mathew. We live near the Garrison.”

“Oh crap,” Keith looks at her in shock, “You're Matt's sister?”

“Yep,” Pidge agrees, “And my mouth tastes like ass.”

“Must be from all the-” Lance is interrupted by Keith shouting his name.

Pidge looks back and forth between the two. Both are wearing the clothing they left Earth in. It's telling in it's own sort of way. They either don't have their armor, or don't feel like wearing it. The latter is definitely not the case. They got used to always having their armor on a long time ago. This means that the armor must have been lost somehow.

Pidge thinks more about what she thinks she knows. Apparently they've never been into space, and they don't know who she is. They are on Earth, and this room looks like it hasn't been touched in over a year. But all of the furniture looks new.

“Guys,” Hunk's voice calls into the room, “We've got a problem.”

A head burst in through the window. Glass is sprayed into the apartment from the window, and Pidge can't get a good look at whoever it was before Lance shoots them. The figure falls back out of the window, and from there everything is a flurry of motion. Keith grabs her by the arms and pulls her towards the only available exit, the front door. He's half dragged her down a row of houses before Lance and Hunk catch up to them.

“What's happening,” Pidge catches her feet under herself to run beside her teammates, “Why are we running. What's attacking us?”

“Zombies,” Lance yells to her, “Keep going.”

“Walkers,” Keith insists.

“We can argue the finer points of walking dead people later,” Hunk huffs, “Let's outrun these guys and find a new campsite.”

Pidge doesn't look back at what's following them. That would only slow her down and she trusts the boys to keep her safe. Instead she focuses on where they are and where they could go to hide. Other houses are probably out of the question because people lock doors. So they have to head towards a wooded or plain area. The woods would give them more cover, but if there aren't any they'll have to make do.

Or a flat roof. Pidge doubts these fuckers can climb, and if they block off the stairs they'll be safe for a while.

Lance must have the same idea, because he points out a house with a flat roof. It's going to be hot, and miserable, but it's better than nothing. Plus, Pidge thinks the bag on Hunk's back actually contains a tent. No one individual can climb up to the top of the building, so Keith and Lance do their best to power lift Hunk onto the roof. After that it's all a matter of helping everyone else onto the roof. Pidge has to be picked up by Keith and handed to Hunk, and normally that would piss her off, but Pidge isn't a choosy beggar.

Once the tent is set up, the three boys fill Pidge in on what's happened to Earth. Her dad helped to create a new kind of plague for humanity, and it was distributed by Galra Tech, headed by Zarkon. Pidge doesn't know if her father made a fail-safe, but he probably did. She thinks that's why she's out in the middle of nowhere. She's looking for it. And now her boys are here, maybe not to help her, but they'll end up doing it anyway. Pidge feels certain of this because even though this universe is suffering a zombie plague, it still pushed her and almost all of the team together. That would be good enough for now.

Chapter Text

Lance doesn't actually know he's hot. He thinks he's attractive, sure, but the real question is if any one else thinks he is. This is why he's surprised to wake up on a pile of gold. His back hurts from sleeping on such a hard surface, and he's very confused as to what might have happened, but the ultimate surprise is that anyone thought him treasure enough to store with valuable materials. Lance looks around himself on the pile. There are small, round gems here and there. Some of the gems sparkle red and blue. Others suck all color in, like obsidian.

He's in a cave. That much is obvious from the rocky walls enclosing him. To his right he spies a lute. Lance doesn't know how to play it, but he still feels the urge to pluck at it's strings. Lance controls the urge, trying to figure out where he is.

“You're awake,” a booming voice sounds from behind Lance, causing him to flinch, “Do you require sustenance?”

When Lance turns he sees red scales which sparkle beautifully in the low lighting of the cave. The dragon has large, leathery wings and each of it's four legs ends in a lion's paw, decorated at the tips with black claws. Black whiskers curl away from the dragon's snout, and it's eyes are just as black as the obsidian sprinkled around the gold pile. The dragon is terrifying and gorgeous, much in the same way that Allura is.

“I hope you know CPR,” Lance says a little breathlessly, “Because you've stolen my breath away.”

“Are you suffocating?” the dragon sounds worried, “Please tell me you aren't dying.”

“Some water would be nice,” Lance doesn't let himself hope that the dragon is just oblivious.

“Come to the back of the cave,” the dragon directs, “The aquifer is clean.”

Lance thanks the dragon for it's hospitality. Once Lance doesn't feel like he's going to die from how dehydrated he is, he looks up at the dragon once again. They've gone back to lazing in the pile of gold, which Lance can now see stretches from one wall of the cave to the other. Honestly, Lance is a little impressed. Also Lance is aware that his utter lack of fear is kind of weird, but honestly, after the mermaid incident, it takes a lot more than a big scaly reptile to scare him.

“So, um,” Lance feels a flush rise to his face when the dragon looks at him, “Are you male?”

The dragon gives a throaty chuckle, and Lance suddenly feels more fearful.

“I am male,” The dragons agrees, “Though it matters not.”

“Yeah,” Lance quickly agrees, not wanting to make the beast angry, “It's not important.”

“Will you play for me, little nekker?” The dragon asks.

“I don't know how,” Lance begins to scale the pile of gold, “and I'd like something in return.”

“Me not eating you isn't enough?” The dragon asks, clearly confused.

“Haven't I already traded something to become a piece of your treasure?” Lance asked, “Or did you take me for no reason.”

Lance knows his butt should be sore after pulling so much out of it, but all he has to go off of is waking in a pile of gold. Something about that screams him being part of it, rather than just sleeping on it. But Lance doesn't know anything for sure, and besides, it's a dragon he's dealing with. If the dragon hadn't wanted him around it would have killed him already.

“You're eyes are the real treasure,” The dragon replies easily.

Well doesn't that just make Lance's throat go dry.

“Maybe I should show you my human form,” The dragon muses, “You certainly thought it was appealing when last I listened to you play.”

“Oh,” Lance gives the dragon a wide eyed look, “I was hoping to rest on your back.”

“For what purpose, little nekker?” The dragon sounds fond.

“My name is Lance,” At his name the dragon seems to recoil, “Stop calling me Nekker. And the purpose would be comfort. You look like a comfortable place to rest.”

“So trustful already,” the dragon seems lost, “What good deed have I done to deserve this?”

“No clue,” Lance huffed, “Am I allowed up on your back or are you going to eat me?”

“I'm not sure I trust you enough for that,” The dragon's face scrunches in a sneer, “You are far to presumptuous.”

“What if I play for you,” Lance isn't sure he'll be any good, but he really would rather take a nap on the dragon's back than going back to sleep in the gold pile, “Will you let me then?”

“Yes,” the dragon agrees, “Though you shouldn't expect my name in turn.”

“Okay cutie,” Lance gives the dragon a cheesy grin.

Chapter Text

Shiro doesn't like anything about the situation he wakes up in. He doesn't like the suit he's in, it's too stiff to allow the full range of motion he'd like. He doesn't like the gun holstered inside the suit jacket, it only offers six bullets per round. He doesn't like how he's missing his prosthetic arm. He might not have liked having a fake arm, but at least he had full mobility with it. Now he just had nothing. He didn't like how he woke up in a study he didn't recognize.

The study was lush looking. Rich wooden furniture with accents of tan leather. It screamed luxry and class in a way Shiro wasn't sure he was comfortable with. The desk he'd been slumped over had papers strewn about it, none of which made any sense to Shiro. Tax income reports, a few contracts between himself and small business owners, even a few news paper clippings.

“Black,” Pidge's voice sounded from outside the room, “Answer me!”

“Oh, uh,” Shiro called out, “Come in.”

Pidge doesn't look quite the way he remembers her. Her hair is as short as it's always been, and her eyes are still obscured by her wire framed glasses. Her dress is completely new to Shiro. It's long, shapless, and a very dull shade of green. It reaches her lower calves, and the sleeves are long, hiding her wrists. Shiro had almost expected her to be in a suit too.

“Need help?” Pidge asked when she set a black mug of coffee on his desk, within reach of his hand.

“Yes,” Shiro took a sip of the coffee, “Please.”

Shiro suddenly finds his face pushed into the desk by the force of Pidge's grasp on the back of his neck. Her other arm pins his hand to the desk, and her body forces him to stay still. Shiro is pretty sure he's strong enough to wriggle out of her grasp, but that seems like a bad idea. He knows Pidge well enough to know how dangerous she really is.

“Who the hell are you?” She asked, “And where's the real Boss?”

“Pidge,” Shiro tries to get her attention, but the only that got him has her hand shifting from his neck to the hair on the top of his head. She pulled his head up and then slammed it back down into the desk, breaking his nose.

“Where is the Boss?” She demanded.

“I don't know,” Shiro says, “I just woke up slumped over the desk. Please-”

“Stop being polite,” Pidge snarled, “It's fucking weird.”

“Language,” Shiro snapped, “I don't know what you want from me Pidge. I don't know who 'the Boss' is and I don't know what's going on. I don't even know why I have a mixture of newspaper clippings and tax income reports on my desk.”

The pressure on Shiro's head and arm is removed as Pidge lets him go. Shiro naturally reaches into his pocket for something to stem the bleeding from his nose, and finds a handkerchief. It's white, and Shiro doesn't see if it's monogrammed. He doesn't really care if it is.

“If you aren't Black, you're too stupid to be a threat,” Pidge huffs, “And if you are, then obviously you took a harder hit than you thought.”

“I have some questions,” Shiro says.

“I have answers. Here's how we're going to do this,” Pidge looks determined, “I'm going to give you a pill and you're going to take it.”

“Okay,” Shiro agrees, “Not sure why you want me to but I'll do it.”

“Excellent,” Pidge smirks. She places a little white pill in his hand and Shiro forces himself to dry swallow it.

“What's your name?” Pidge asks after a minute.

Shiro can't fight the urge to tell her the truth, not that he would ever want to lie to her in the first place, “Takashi Shirogane.”

Pidge gives Shiro a grim smile, “I guess it works. We'll have to thank Hunk for that later. What do you last remember?”

“Falling asleep in the Black Lion,” Shiro tells her, “I guess the you and the other paladins fought Lotor, I went a little crazy and tried to murder everyone, and then my clone tried to reject my actual mind.”

“Sounds legit,” Pidge rolls her eyes, “What the hell kind of dream was that?”

“It wasn't a dream,” Shiro feels like he shouldn't be trying to answer that question, that it was rhetorical, but apparently whatever Pidge gave him doesn't care about that.

“Well you certainly believe that to be the truth,” Pidge crosses her arms, “Are you planning on killing me?”

“No,” Shiro gives her a horrified look, “Of course not.”

“Are you going to try to kill the other 'Paladins?'” She asks.

“Of course not,” Shiro insists, “Why would I?”

“Just checking,” Pidge shrugs, “Can't be too careful, you know.”

“I'm lost,” Shiro says, “What's going on?”

“Do you remember what happened after Zarkon was killed?” Pidge asks.

“Keith ended up joining the Blades of Marmora,” Shiro replies, “Or maybe he was already a member. It's kind of fuzzy. We got Sam back from the Galra, though.”

“Well Zarkon's death created a huge power vacuum that needed to be filled,” Pidge says, “Obviously Lotor was the coin to stop up the vacuum.”

“And we were going to partner with him,” Shiro says, “Right? This doesn't explain where we are, why I'm in an office, why you're wearing a dress, or anything else but alright.”

“Excuse me?” Pidge looks offended, “What was that about my dress?”

“I've only ever seen you in a dress once,” Shiro yawns wide, “That was when Matt, your dad, and I went on the Kerberos mission.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Pidge glares at him, “What is Kerberos?”

“A,” Shiro is interrupted by his own yawn again, “Computer network, the Roman name of Hades's three headed dog,” another yawn, “And one of Pluto's moons.”

“Pluto doesn't have any moons,” Pidge told him, straight faced, “What's a computer?”

“It's a system of digital networks,” Shiro closes his eyes, and finds he can't open them again, “What did you give me?”

“It's a side effect of the pill,” Shiro can just barely hear the scraping of pen against paper, “I'll have to let Hunk know. Sleep well, Boss.”

Shiro is too tired to respond. Maybe he'll deal better with the new rash of crazy after he's had a little nap.

Chapter Text

Lance wakes in a very generic looking room. He's confused about the lack of dragon, but whatever, it wasn't important. What was more important was the undeniable command to go to the bathroom. He didn't need to use the toilet that badly, but his body refused to let him do anything else. Once he was done with the toilet, he found himself spinning around in a circle, suddenly losing clothing and hopping into the cheapest looking shower he'd ever seen.

Lance proceeded to stand under the cold water for thirty minutes. He wasn't sure what the time was, but wow was that a long time to be under the freezing cold water. He could already feel his mood lowering. Stepping out of the shower, he felt himself instantly dry, spin in another circle, and suddenly he found himself to be dressed. Lance wasn't sure what was happening, but he wasn't comfortable with it.

He found himself climbing a set of stairs and entered a lavish looking kitchen. Ah, here was where all that gold must have gone. State of the art stove, fridge and beautiful counters. None of the colors matched though. One counter was bright yellow and the one next to it was purple. The kitchen also didn't have any cabinets, which was weird.

Lance found himself standing in front of the fridge. He opened it and found... nothing. Just white light. He wasn't sure he wanted to stick his hand in it, but his body wasn't letting him chose otherwise. He reached in, and once he felt a weight on his hand, he withdrew it. In his hand was a plate with bread on it. Jam was spread over the top of it.

Lance found himself moving to the adjourning dining room. It was literally just two tables pushed together with ten chairs placed evenly around it. He sat at one end of the table. Hunk joined him soon after with a bowl of salad.

“Do you know what's happening?” Lance asked, grabbing his bread jam side down.

“No clue,” Hunk answered amicably, “Last I remember was falling asleep next to Shay. Before that we were fought Lotor.”

“My dream was about a dragon,” Lance said, “And my hands don't feel nearly as sticky as they should considering how I'm holding the bread.”

“Guys there's something wrong with me,” Pidge's voice could be clearly heard from the nightmarish abomination seated at the table.

“What happened to you?” Lance asked.

Pidge, because honestly with her luck who else would it be, was a flesh colored creature. Her center tube was thin and vaguely clothed in something that was green. Her arms bent in four places, and were stretched out beyond belief. Her legs twitched this way and that, bent past her shoulders. How she even got to the table was a mystery.

“I woke up like this,” Pidge groaned, “I don't even know how I'm supposed to eat. Oh wait, I guess I'm not.”

Pidge left the dinning room. Lance and Hunk glanced at each other before settling back in to eating. They had hoped that they'd be able to do something of their own free will, but it seemed that they would be able to do something by themselves, but Pidge didn't seem to be able to control her own actions, so that was looking unlikely.

“Was that Pidge I saw earlier?” Shiro asks conversationally as he joins the two boys at the table with a bowl of yogurt.

“Messed up limbs?” Lance asked, and when he got a nod, “Yep. I wonder what's wrong with her?”

“Unavailable content, maybe?” Keith offers as he joins them, “I think I've figured out what's-”

Everyone stares as Lance takes a bite of his bread and jam breakfast, jam side down.

“I don't know why I'm doing it this way,” Lance offers, “What were you saying Keith?”

“I think I know what's wrong with us,” Keith said, “The reason for why we can't control ourselves. I won't be able to confirm it until we see Allura though.”

Speaking of the princess, she approached the table with a box of juice. Allura took a sip and exclaimed, “Ooh be gah!”

“Guys,” Hunk gave Allura a worried glance, “I think Alllura's broken.”

“We're in a video game with a made up language,” Keith said, “Why else would we be unable to control ourselves?”

“How did you figure that out?” Lance asked.

“Keith likes all simulation games,” Shiro shivers at a bad memory, “All sims.”

“Oh come on,” Keith complains, “Goat simulator wasn't that bad.”

“I guess I'm back now,” Pidge, now mostly normal looking aside from her much more childish appearance, sat at the table with her food.

“You might even get to eat this time,” Hunk joked.

“Ah, van vesua! Cummun nala?” Allura adds.

“Well that's hopeless,” Pidge replies, “Anyone know simlish?”

Everyone who could understand Pidge shook their head negatively.

“Anyone know what time it is?” Keith asked when they all finished eating.

“Time for me to not clean my dish,” Pidge shrugged, “I have to go outside for some reason. Not sure why.”

“School, probably,” Keith replied, “At least your won't have to spend time doing something mundane like reading a book to increase your skill in something.”

“Anyone want to take bets on if Lance has to talk to himself in a mirror?” Pidge called on her way out, “Or I guess not since I won't be able to take any while I'm missing.”

“It's sure to happen anyway,” Lance said when he stood with his dish, “Once Pidge said it I felt the urge. It'll be the next thing I do after cleaning my bowl.”

“Oh no,” Keith stood swiftly, “I'm supposed to go to school and I'm starting to run late. I guess I'll see you later.”

“Dag dag,” Allura waved at him.

“You too,” Keith began speed walking out of the room.

Shiro, Lance, and Hunk all gather in the kitchen around the rather weird looking sink. No, Lance thinks, the sink is normal looking in terms of it looking like a sink. It's just wooden in pattern. Like, all of it in is a smooth looking wood.

Allura dumps her juice box in the trash and does the spinny clothes change thing. When she finishes her rotation she is wearing an old fashioned military uniform. She wore a calf-length dark blue skirt, with a hip length coat. Her undershirt was a white button up, and her tie was a matching navy blue. Her shoes were some sensible black heels.

Allura dashed towards the door. To anyone else this would still be odd, but Lance had gotten used to simply moving on with as few questions as possible. Less for him to get mad at that way.

Lance lost track of the other two men once he washed his dishes. He headed back towards that basement, for the express purpose of talking to himself.

Please take caution as you read this book. Many of the techniques in this book, Cooking Vol. 3: Yummy and Delicious, require precise knife skills. If you have not read the first two volumes of this book you will not be able to understand this book. You might want to revisit them if it's been a long while since you've last read them.

Each recipe in this book was hand selected by the editor's favorite chef, Juliana Childish, most notable for her Champs Le Sims recipes. Included are many of her favorite items...

Hunk hated this book. He would much rather have cooked, especially with actual earthly ingredients. Already he'd been reading the same book for several hours. He had heard Keith come home, but when Hunk looked around, Keith sat at the table doing homework. Keith didn't look any more happy to be doing it either.

Hunk finally felt the urge to put down the book. He carefully put it back in the bookshelf, though really he had just wanted to shove it in. The bookshelf, which had looked a little sparse before hand, suddenly looked a little more full. Hunk wished he understood how the addition of one book made that happen, but it was beyond him.

Hunk found himself in the kitchen, this time pulling out a cutting board with thee ingredients an a saucer of something brown. He began copping wing one hand while the other remained at his side. Against his will he found himself looking around as he chopped, rather than on what his hand was doing. He then gathered all of the ingredients into a bowl, and stirred them. Next he put them in a large sauce pan and boiled it on the stove. When he was done, he decided to label it Stu Surprise, since it was very stew looking and he had no idea what was in it.

After placing it on the counter he called everyone to the meal, not that he had really wanted to. He grabbed his own bowl and sat in the dinning room. Pidge and Keith were the next to join him, followed by Allura and Coran. Shiro joined them last, looking very confused.

“So did anyone else just kind of enter a brain fog during their time away from the house, or was it just me?” Pidge tried to ask conversationally.

“If I have to keep talking to myself I'm going to go crazy,” Lance whined, “Wow I'm so great at everything, and I think we should impose a new tax on pacifiers.”

When the other paladins gave Lance a confused look, he explained, “I couldn't really control what I was saying, but I couldn't just stare at myself either.”

“Dis wompf es fredesche!” Coran says during a lull in conversation.

“Is it weird that he's making more sense than when we can actually understand him,” Hunk asks.

“Maybe we're starting to go insane,” Lance offers, “Or just used to it.”

“Gerbit,” Allura adds helpfully.

“Since I'm done eating I'm going to do my homework, I guess,” Pidge says, “Though I'd rather go to bed. I'm so tired.”

At the mention of being sleepy the rest of the paladins yawned wide. “Yeah,” Shiro said, “I think we should all get some sleep. Do you think you can just... ignore the need to do homework?”

“I think so,” Pidge nodded, “Only because I'm feeling kind of stressed.”

After waiting in line at the sink to clean his bowl Lance went back down to the basement and into the same room he woke up in. It was the same generic room, and he swiftly did the jump spin thing into some pajamas and crawled into bed. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.