Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"If you shoot me, then you'd best kill me."

Lilly turned at the sound of that, watching as even Minerva faltered in her and Dorian's presence, the eyes of the little girl she'd known so long fearless and deadly, dark promises swimming inside. Lilly had been looking at the wrong one all this time. Clementine may have been able to get these kids to work together, to keep them going, but she was hardly the most dangerous one of the group. No, the most dangerous one of the group was easily the quietest, the one who silently suffered and won every single time. The one who swore to take down as many as she could with her to hell.

Because Freya meant those words. Meant them with every fiber of her being, with every beat of her heart, and every breath of her body. Lilly had seen that look before, only once. A man with only his bare fists and a stick staring her down, in front of his teenaged sons. Dorian tried to cover up the faint tremor in her voice as she asked, "Now why do you say that?"

Freya leaned against the bars, the predator slipping from the darkness but still resting in the shadows. "Because you've pissed me off. You've traumatized my friends, killed the girl I swore to protect, caused the deaths of who knows how many kids, and because I never liked you Lilly. So if you shoot me, then you'd best kill me... because if I live, you're not going to."

What happened to make her so hard? What happened to change her to this? It was clearly someone alien to three of the prisoners Lilly had taken, the other two appearing resigned to whatever was meant to happen. "Is that so, Freya?" Lilly asked, knowing whatever she felt was hidden and locked away. "You know, most people would be begging for their life right about now."

"What a shame I'm not most people." Lilly would never sway Freya, not entirely. Even if she could, the risks were so large... but the rewards... "Go on, Minerva. Shoot me."

The crossbow was aimed at Freya, the trigger finger itching, tense, and Lilly didn't have it in her to stop the girl as she took the challenge and shot Freya.

"Remember to stay within shouting distance," Clementine said to her companions as they all exited the Subaru Freya managed to take. It was one of the last working cars, and the other one they found was hardly able to get everyone in within a reasonable amount of time in case of emergency. So the Subaru may have been ugly, may not have gotten the best mileage, but damn if it wasn't reliable and better than walking.

Duck, Sarah, and Gabe vaguely nodded their heads, stretching their arms above their head and enjoying a moment of fresh air. Freya looked around, keeping the machete she now owned close to her, her gaze landing on AJ after scanning the area. He had grown up an awful lot, and now the group was together again, as they should have been.

She had lost Clementine and Duck so many times over the years, separation constantly in the way of keeping each other's backs. Freya met them in the beginning, holed up in that little store in Macon. Meeting Sarah had been a stroke of luck, someone to keep her from going batshit insane, and finding Gabe again after he left Richmond might have been luckier for him than for the other teens. Even though it took Freya longer to find them this last time around, it was worth it. These were the ones who kept her grounded.

Freya took a deep breath. She could vaguely smell Sarah's oh-so-faint perfume she still carried, and the spring fresh scent of Duck from his dive a day ago. Clementine and Gabe stuck close together, their scents mingling, and AJ shadowed them. She smiled faintly at the group before approaching the train station they were scavenging in the first place. "Duck," she called softly, and he came to her side while Sarah stayed at the car.

It was quiet in the train station yard, and Freya thought back to years ago, to the last time she was at a train station. It was a different group, one much older and crueler than this one, and she truly belonged among them. Among this group now, there was a difference between them and her. There was a difference between Clementine and the rest as well, but not as stark as the Freya. 

Duck kept a hand on his rifle, even if they were out of bullets and it would be too loud, as a way to at least feel safe in an alien area. The two were close together, but looked in opposite directions, trying to find a threat they wouldn't need later. "You know what to look for?" she asked Duck, and he nodded. "Okay. Stay safe, Ducky, okay?"

Years ago, his response might have been childish, might have been something he was even obligated to say. But watching his mother blows her brains out when she was bit, the toll it took on his father, and the other horrors Freya never could have protected him from, has changed that. Instead of something stupid, something naive, he only says, "Only if you are, Freya."

She nodded. Walking forward into the unknown was easier than it should have been, but the machete she kept by her side ever since... It was her companion, every bit as much as Clementine and the others. Freya looked at the dead man coming towards her and raised her arms. Stabbing him was easy, and watching the body fall was easier still. She heard hurried footsteps and looked down to see AJ with a grin.

"Clem and Gabe are... 'bonding'?" Freya asked, using the rudimentary term the five had agreed upon. It was hardly love between the two, but the physical touch was an outlet for the two they couldn't stop using. AJ nodded, and Freya smiled down at him again. It was difficult watching herself around him, but everything she did had a reason.

There was a tire swing further down, and she caught AJ staring at it. "Let me clear this area, and I'll show you what it is," Freya promised, and AJ grinned even bigger. She walked towards the garden, long gone, and found nothing threatening. The other side of the building was equally safe, and nothing had come out of the building yet.

Freya helped AJ into the swing, and he looked up at her. "So what is it?" he asked.

"A tire swing. I'm going to push you, so you'll need to hold on." Freya waited until she was satisfied with his tight grip on the tire before pulling it back and letting it go. AJ let out a surprised noise, clutched harder, and looked for danger, but soon relaxed when Freya pushed him forward. He even giggled as he left the ground further below.

A kid, Freya could hardly believe it. The bigger feat was probably keeping him alive all this time. Keeping him behind, trying to expose him little by little, and hoping they were teaching him the best they could. Freya saw Duck approach the door and slowed the swing down. Without a word, AJ allowed her to let him out and walked with her to the door.

Before allowing the other male to open it, Freya knelt to AJ's height. "What do we do in new buildings, AJ?"

"Look for exits. If you don't know the way out, you can't know the way in." Freya nodded and stood up again, gesturing for Duck to use the crow bar. The open opened loudly, and the growling that immediately ensued had Freya standing in front of AJ and looking for danger. Duck went in first, looked around, and nodded to the two outside.

AJ walked in first, and Freya closed the door behind her. Two walkers were seated in chairs, tied together, and Freya walked to them first. She picked up the bottle of poison from the floor as AJ approached behind her, then she grabbed the note. "'Please leave us. This is what we wanted,'" she read aloud.

"So they did this on purpose?" AJ asked, looking up at Freya for the answer. She looked toward Duck, who was looking through the few cabinets and inspecting the cans spread throughout. He had his back to her. "Freya?"

"Yes," she responded, "they did this on purpose. It's called- it's called suicide, AJ, and it's not something you should ever do."

"Even if I get bit?"

Freya felt her stomach drop at the thought of him getting bit and knelt to his height again. "Suicide means leaving everyone who loves you behind by killing yourself. And being bit means you're going to die. Some people, when they get bit, do kill themselves so they don't turn," she tried explaining.

Duck cut in, "That's what my mom did. Right in front of me, dad, and Lee."

"And it hurt them very much," Freya continued. "AJ, if you ever get bit, tell someone, okay? So that way you don't have to do it on your own. And so we can all say goodbye..."

"Did Duck's mom not say goodbye?"

Freya wasn't sure. By that point, she had already left them. Duck answered, "No. No, she didn't. She said she loved us, took Dad's gun, and she was gone. There was no goodbye, no explanation. She was just gone."

AJ nodded his head and then looked at the two walkers. "So they didn't get to say goodbye to anyone?" Freya wasn't sure, so she didn't answer. He looked down, trying to process this new idea, and Freya stood back up. She saw keys at the belt of one and drew her machete. "But didn't they say they want to be left alone?" AJ asked once he knew her intentions.

"They did. But I believe the soul is trapped inside, that they aren't truly dead and able to move on. Sometimes I ignore them, leave them be, but these two deserve better. Don't you think?" The little boy pouted in concentration before nodding his head, satisfied with himself for understanding without more questions, and Freya was finished quickly. She grabbed the keys. "Besides, we probably need these."

He giggled, and Duck pulled on a door. "Sure do. Come over here," he called, trying to pull again before listening to the inside. "Don't hear anything."

Freya tossed him the keys before setting herself up beside the door. "Open it," she ordered, holding her machete up. "AJ, step back." He did. Duck opened the door, and Freya went in first. Nothing. She left the room and heard nothing outside. "Ya'll check it out. I'm going to go check in on Sarah, see if Clem and Gabe are back yet."

"Got it," Duck said, scrunching his nose up at the mention of the two. AJ stayed behind, searching for clues, and Freya walked outside. The car was still there, good news in and of itself, and she walked until she could see Sarah still counting the medical supplies, as few as they had. Further away, Clementine and Gabriel were returning.

"Anything inside?" Sarah asked, fiddling uncomfortably.

Freya shrugged. "I left Duck and AJ to it. They'll probably find something, even if it's nothing." Sarah giggled at that, and Freya paused to put her weapon away. There were growls all around, signalling a walker presence, but none were coming towards them. That was the important part. If they were at peace where they were, Freya wasn't going to do anything about it.

"Have fun?" Freya teased the two, and they flushed bright red. "Leaving the kid to me- you two must have desperate. Is that the real reason for our roadstop?" 

"Ha ha," Gabe mocked. "You know, Freya, you can always ask Duck-"

"Please don't," Sarah begged, and Clementine gagged.

Freya raised a brow. "As if either of you are man enough to be with me," she said, and the girls almost actually threw up that time. Gabe gaped, and Freya kept a smug expression on her face as she waited for him to make a comeback. "What? Nothing to say-"

The explosion made Freya duck, but she stood as soon as she saw the source. "AJ!" Clementine shouted, immediately running in with Gabe on her heels. Freya drew her machete as Sarah got into the front and started the car while the walkers started coming. Freya kept them at a distance, striking them down as fast as she could, even if she had to waste energy by knocking them down first. But the most important area to keep clear was where they would be driving.

"Hold on, Freya!" Clementine called, and the female looked back to see Gabe hauling Duck into the car and AJ climbing in quickly. "Gabe, open the back and get in!"

"Working on it!" he responded, and Freya lashed out when she felt something touch her. The walker fell easily. Sarah began driving forward, careful of Clementine and Freya as they kept the way clear, and she began gaining speed when she was passing the thickest area.

"Freya!" Clementine called, and the blonde made her way to jump on the back. Gabe had crawled over the seat to the front, helping Sarah and her frazzled nerves, and Clementine was climbing over to be with Duck beside AJ. Freya knocked on down that grabbed onto the car.

"I'm closing the back!" she called, reaching up for the strap. She heard glass break and looked back. Fuck. A walker jumped in. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

Clementine stabbed it, but the car hit something, then another something, and then it was rolling, Freya falling out and rolling behind it. Hitting the ground was hard and sent a jarring force through her arm that allowed her machete to get away from her. Rocks scraped her arms and legs, tearing through her clothes, until she came to a stop the bottom.

Her body ached. But she looked up and saw more walkers. Her machete- where was her machete- there! She grabbed the handle and stood up, raising her arm. She was forced to ignore the pain in the other one, an obvious fracture or dislocation visible. Freya hacked down two walkers before her vision blurred and her body wasn't fast enough.

It should have been the end. But an arrow pierced the side of its head.

"Help her!" Freya fell forward and into someone's arms- warm, thank God- and heard someone ask, "How many are in the car?"

Duck, Clem, Gabe- AJ- AJ! "F-four. Kid- AJ!" 

"There's four, Marlon! A kid, too!" She was lifted up. "I've got you. Just stay calm, and we'll do our best to take care of you."

Machete. She could still fight, Freya figured, as her vision cleared up. "Let me help," she protested, pushing him back until he let go of her so she could fall to the ground. A walker was nearing on the other side, one crawling in from the back. Freya lunged out and grabbed the crawling walker, pulling it to her. The machete went clean through, easier than the others. "AJ," she called when she saw him awake.

The boy looked up and immediately went to her. "I've got you, I've got you," she promised, vision cleared enough to look at those helping. People her age, maybe even younger, but capable. Four of them too. "AJ, can you run?"

He nodded his head. "Then follow me, keep up, and do not stop as soon as we get the others out, yeah?" They were struggling to get Duck out. Freya moved quickly, knocking a walker away and leaving another to bash the head in. She reached in, lifting him up and over the edge of the window. Sarah was safe, Gabe was safe, Clementine- AJ, and it just left Duck. The tallest and heaviest.

She got him out. "Help me," Freya breath, lifting one arm over her shoulders. The male did the same, ponytail just short enough to not be caught like hers. "One, two, three!"

Freya lifted him up, and AJ was at her side in a second, holding Duck's gun and Sarah's medical supplies. "Let's go!" someone ordered, keeping Clementine on his back as he shot arrows. The one who saved her earlier. Freya grunted with the effort to keep up, to keep Duck between her and this guy.

Freya wasn't going to last long. She struggled to keep up, and she barked at AJ to get in the middle, just to be sure he was safe. How long had Duck been this heavy? Sure he was the heaviest, but never to the extent she couldn't carry him on adrenaline... 

She didn't know how far they traveled or how fast. All she knew was she passed out as soon as the growls had long since faded behind her and disappeared almost entirely.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Freya turned from where she was skinning a rabbit to look at Luke. A smile passed onto her face for a moment. "Luke," she greeted softly, her voice as scratchy as it had been all those years ago. The boots were still familiar, and the weight of the jacket still didn't bother her. 

He sat down, and she looked him over. He appeared as when they first met, wearing all brown and scraggly. "Freya," he responded, smiling. "What're you doing here now? I told you, you just gotta follow yer gut."

"I-I'm not sure." Freya touched her head. "The last thing I remember is the car wreck. People saving us." She was quiet for a moment, and she set the rabbit down. "Luke... did I die? Is that why you're here?"

"Nah, Freya. I'd know if you died." He reached out and pushed some of her hair back. "Still got my machete?"

She nodded her head. "Keep it with me always. AJ noticed it the other day and asked me about it. Told him about you. He wishes he had the time to know you too, like his parents." Silence fell on the two once again as she went back to skinning the rabbit, skillful this time instead of horrible like those years ago.

How things had changed since then. A thirteen year old who had yet to take a human life, who liked living on her own, who- who was barely alive herself. Luke came along, taught her how to want to live again, and then he died. Freya was left to live with that.

Freya felt it when she was starting to wake up. "I'll see you again soon, Luke."

His smile was haunting, the expression in his eyes sad. "Shouldn't. This ain't a place for the living, Frey."

The light burned when she opened her eyes. A groan escaped her throat as she registered the sun and rolled away, her body aching and screaming in protest as she did so. A gasp rattled the pain in her head further, and she hated everyone dead and alive when she felt AJ jump on her, shouting her name right in her ear.

"Kid, get off'a me," she moaned, pushing him so she could sit up. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. It was decent, with two beds, a desk, a drawer, and her bag was just right there. AJ stood by, hands close together as he stared at her with hope. Her hand fell on his head, ruffling the coarse afro, before feeling his forehead. No fever. No bite. Freya asked, "How is everyone?"

"Good. Well, Gabe, Duck, and Sarah will be for sure. But Clem..." Clementine? What happened? "They're most worried about her. She was really banged up..." Oh, shit.

Freya hesitated, then she asked, "Are you okay, AJ?" He nodded, the sadness wiping off his face. "You can tell me if you're not. I know Clem normally deals with this, but I can too. It's fine."

He shook his head. "Just a little worried is all. I'm sure she'll be fine." Hopefully, Freya thought, and then he grabbed her hand. "C'mon! We gotta tell everyone you're awake!"

"Everyone?"

Freya stood up, pleased to know she still had her boots on, and picked her bag off the floor. Her machete hung at her side, thankfully, and she followed the kid as he ran outside. She wasn't sure how long she had been out, but it couldn't have been too long. Duck looked like he had taken the worst, but...

Didn't matter. Everyone would be okay. Now was the time to scope out where she was exactly. AJ opened the door to the outside world, and Freya caught it before it swung closed and hid her eyes from the sun to adjust. When she did, her mouth dropped.

A wall, surrounded wherever the hell they were- a school perhaps? That was a flag pole. If they could get some barbed wire up there, it would be safe from people and walkers. A gate was the only way in... With a lookout tower... multiple buildings... and people.

All people her age or younger.

"Good to see you up," one said, a white male with a blonde mess of a hairstyle. "Name's Marlon. Helped to save you and your friends, if you don't remember me. Welcome to Ericson's."

Chapter Text

Two years ago...

"Look at this!"

She stayed in the same spot she had been for a long time now. She wasn't sure if it was better to count by hours or days at this point. All she knew what they were dead. The people she had been with for so long, the only ones she gave a single fuck about. The explosion that brought down the cavern... Clementine... AJ...

A gun prodded her shoulder. "What the fuck? Is it dead?" She didn't answer, didn't respond to the continued prodding. "Hey, if you're fucking alive, fucking say something. Or fucking do something."

Her body fell forward. Her mouth still didn't move. Her muscles still didn't contract or relax. Was her heart even beating? She wasn't sure. "Leave it alone. It's alive. We'll bring it back to HQ, let the heads decide if it's worth keeping or just better to kill it," a voice said from somewhere beside her, male in nature. Hand wrapped around her arms and lifted her up until she was staring into brown, glittering eyes. "It could be of use. Won't know unless we try."

"I think we should kill it," someone else said.

He stared into her eyes. "If it lets you kill it, then it isn't worth our time."

A blade touched her body. Her arms immediately pushed it off. "So it can move." She felt her hand became a fist and throw itself at their face. Then she took the knife from her belt, a rush of something- anger, guilt, sorrow, too fleeting and too strong to know- before she launched the knife into their throat.

A dark chuckle sounded near her. "Oh, this will be the start of something beautiful. Welcome to the Serpents."

This is a lot to take in, Freya thought to herself as the blonde walked towards her and AJ, a beautiful brunette right beside him. Marlon, he said, and Freya grabbed onto AJ's hand. "You're Freya, right?" he asked as she situated the young boy behind her. "Whoa, whoa, we're not going to hurt you. Wouldn't have saved you if we were."

"Believe it or not, you wouldn't be the first to say that to me," Freya responded, a hand at her waist. "Where are my friends. Show me them now."

"In due time-"

Freya drew her machete. "I'm not asking. I'm telling you." Marlon frowned, clearly displeased at the way this was going. Freya sighed, deciding maybe more of an explanation was in order before violence broke out. "The last time this happened, one of my friends was nearly chopped up for dinner. Forgive me for being demanding about the only people I give a shit about anymore."

AJ quietly said, "Swear."

Marlon looked around and then gestured for her to follow him. Freya didn't put her machete away but kept a tight hold on AJ as she followed him back inside the building she came from. He opened the first door. "Here's the boys. Ruby said the worst will be the scratches left from the glass on the tall one's back, and the other one's shoulder is dislocated from what we can tell. These two are fine."

Freya made her way inside, going to Duck first. He was laid on his stomach, and the tweezers were still there with some shards of glass. Freya situated him onto his side. She got on her knees and pressed her ears to his chest. A heartbeat. He was still alive. She grasped his hand. "It's alright, Ducky. You just get some rest," she whispered to him, kissing his forehead.

She turned to Gabriel next, her eyes finding the wound quickly. It was swollen, clearly not in the right shape. Freya took a deep, shuddering breath, and asked, "Did she put it back in place yet?" Marlon shook his head. "Okay. I'll deal with it later. Where are Sarah and Clementine?"

"This way," he gestured and led her to the next door. Freya opened it, ordering AJ to stay outside this time. Sarah was on one bed, washed of color, and Clementine didn't look any better. Marlon closed the door. "Ruby thinks the driver hit her head hard. May be concussed, but she was lucky to be wearing a seatbelt." Thank God for her quirks. "It's this one Ruby is worried about."

Her hat was on the side of the bed, and she was so pale, so, so pale. It was discomforting.

"Clementine," Freya supplied, going to the girl and kneeling beside her. Her hand was ice cold, and Freya rested her head on Clementine's chest too, relieved to hear the heartbeat however faint it was. Freya leaned back and touched the girl's cheek, hating how cold it was too. "Wake up soon. We'll be waiting."

They were okay. They were safe. Clementine would pull through, easy, and then...

Freya closed the door and held AJ's hand. "Sorry for the hostility," she settled on, looking at Marlon. "It's just, I've known Clementine and Duck since the beginning. Met Sarah shortly after, and Gabe not too long ago. These are my people."

"I get it," Marlon stated, but he didn't. He could never understand the constant finding each other, losing each other, finding each other again, losing each other again, never knowing if this time the other one might be dead. "Tenn and Ruby are going to be around here taking care of them. Hope you don't mind."

"I'll be seeing them," Freya said, deciding there was no reason to fight about it. "It's nothing personal. Just got to see some things for yourself is all. But I will be visiting them." 

Marlon once again acted as if he understood, and Freya started to walk outside again. "I didn't think we would get everyone out, but your boy was helpful, surprisingly so. I almost thought we'd have to leave you behind," Marlon said to her, keep a fair distance between them. AJ raced ahead, finding another boy and talking to him. Freya tried not to notice the scar on the side of his head.

"Thank you," Freya said, "seeing as you really didn't have to do it. I know how difficult it can be, saving people in difficult situations like that. So thank you, really."

"Wasn't just me. Mitch, Brody, and Aasim helped."

Freya remembered the hat she saw on the side of Clementine's bed. "I have to ask. Who touched Clem's hat?" Marlon gave her a confused expression. "It has bad juju. Most of the people who have touched that hat have died," Freya stated, and the blood drained from Marlon's face. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Uhh... So..."

"Princess finally woke up?" someone called from further away, standing beside a ratty couch with two people seated. Freya raised her eyes at the nickname, but said nothing in return. His brown hair was longer in the back, falling to just above his shoulders, and just covered his ears on both sides of his head. "Good to see you walking around, princess. Figured you'd be the first one up."

Freya put a hand on her hip. "Princess isn't my name. Call me Freya."

"Think pretty high of yourself, huh?" one said from the couch, the one who helped her carry Duck. "I'm Aasim, this is Omar, and that is Mitch."

Aasim's black hair was pulled into a short ponytail, the thickness seeming to strain the elastic band he had. He had a bit of hair beneath his mouth but no where else, though Freya couldn't tell if it was by choice. He was brown skinned, around the same shade as Clementine. Omar, beside him, was significantly darker and had hair somewhere between Clementine's and AJ's. 

"You helped me carry Duck. Thank you."

Freya caught a look of herself in a mirror and stopped. Her hair had become overgrown, just like Clementine's and Gabe's and Duck's and AJ's... somehow not Sarah's... A matter she would investigate later. But the blonde locks were uneven, choppy almost, and looked disgusting as they curled at her waist, no longer pulled back in the ponytail she relied on. 

There was quiet for a moment, and then Omar said, "We can find scissors if you would like to cut your hair."

She grabbed some of it and lifted it up. How long had it been since she cut her hair? Years, at least. With a sigh, she shook her head. "It's fine. I need to make sure my friends are fine before I start making drastic changes to my appearance," Freya answered finally, stepping out of line of the mirror. "But thank you, Omar."

"So fucking polite. Sure you're not a princess?" Mitch griped, taking a spot on the arm of the couch. Freya chuckled to herself, looking behind her to find AJ again, playing with the two boys close to his age. "Oh, you definitely earned your title of princess. Are your friends more interesting or are they princes and princesses too?"

Freya's hand drifted to the machete as she saw a few of the dead at the gate, close to the boys. "AJ!" she called sharply, taking a step towards them. An arrow hit the head of one then another the next second. Marlon was setting it down by the time she looked back at him. AJ came running to Freya.

"It's fine. The gate works," she said, looking down at him. He nodded, but his eyes stayed glued to them. To the dead who came back and were put down again. Almost as if he wasn't sure what to make of it. "We've shown you a gate before, haven't we, AJ? I don't think it's been so long..."

"I-I've seen one. Never seen it work before."

Freya sighed before adding, "Well, you're safe. Go play with the boys." He looked up again and then ran off once more. "Leave it to him to make friends at the drop of a walker."

"Jealous, princess?" Mitch asked, almost teasing.

"Not of you," she responded and looked around. "Tell me about this place. What is it?"

Aasim sighed, and Marlon answered, "It's a school. Used to be, at least, before the world went to shit. All the adults ran off and left us here, and we had no where else to go."

Freya didn't believe it. "So you've been here since the start." The boys all looked at each other before nodding. "Bullshit. Walls don't last that long. Never have, likely never will."

"Sounds like you've seen a few knocked down," Marlon commented, seemingly concerned. 

Knocked a few down herself, more like. She knew how fragile they were, how quickly numbers could overcome them, especially when they were as unprotected as these walls. But she chose not to say anything, deciding that she owed them a lot but not that much. 

Instead, she asked, after a longer than appropriate time, "So what do we owe you?"

"Owe-"

"Stop being a pessimist," she heard from behind and looked back to see Gabriel standing and walking. He held his shoulder close, and Freya walked towards him. Gabe said, "Don't mind her. She's not very trusting these days. You wouldn't believe how long- ow, ow, ow!"

Freya ignored him and looked at the shoulder again. "I'll need you to take off your jacket so I can put it back in place. Think you can handle that?" Gabe rolled his eyes, and she contained a smile at seeing his snarky side again. He shrugged the jacket off, and Freya pulled his arm back. He grunted in pain, bitched under his breath, but eventually stopped as she let go and his joint was once again where it was supposed to be.

"Seen Clem yet?" Gabe asked, eyes bright. "Sarah? She made it, didn't she? I-I forgot to tell her to-"

"Sarah is doing better than Clem," Freya promised, "and she was wearing her seatbelt. It was a high intensity moment, Gabe. Don't blame yourself."

"I should have-"

Freya took a deep breath and punched the shoulder she just put back into place. He sucked in a breath and immediately responded in a flurry of Spanish cursing. She saw AJ's head pop up, and she smiled to herself when Gabriel cut the swearing when the goofball threw himself at him. "Gabriel, meet some of our saviors. Marlon, Omar, Aasim, and Mitch. I'm going to explore," she said simply and then paused. "Be nice."

"I should say that to you," Gabe retorted. "You know Duck's going to be looking for you when he wakes up. Don't wander too far, yeah?"

Freya nodded and walked into the other building, finding graffiti on the walls and plenty of ruined furniture. Whether it was age or kids was unknown, but it added something to the building. Light drifted inside through boards, and a faint sound of music attracted her attention for a second. "Oh, you're awake," a light voice said, bounding down the steps with a first aid kit in her hands. "I'm Ruby. I've been working on you and your friends."

"Thank you, Ruby," she said, nodding her head. "I was just exploring. Don't know if you'll keep us, but I like to know all the exits, y'know?"

"That's fair," she responded, her accent thicker and making Freya's heart drop. It was similar to Luke's and Nick's, though it indeed had a different lilt. "Well, Louis is practicin' piano in there, and Violet is upstairs doin' somethin' or another. Everyone else should be outside. Make yourself at home."

Freya watched her walk by before going up the stairs herself. This Violet person would be easier to avoid than someone playing a piano. Hopefully at least.

Night fell quickly, and Duck, Sarah, and Clementine remained asleep. Freya primarily avoided this new group, based off of her own personal experience and not being a particularly social person anymore. It was easier to ignore a person's feelings than to face them. Besides, if these people didn't keep her and her friends, well... No need to get attached.

She was on her way to the dorms to check in on her friends when she heard her name being called. "Come and eat," Marlon invited, gesturing to across the table from him and three others. Omar handed her a bowl, and Freya took the seat, finding Gabe taking care of AJ. He appeared exhausted, but it wasn't her business.

AJ was yawning anyway. He would pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow. "So, Freya," one of the girls said, her brown hair pulled back from her pretty face, "how long you been out there?"

"Better question would be how long I haven't been." Freya thought for a moment. "Holed up in a pharmacy for a day or two at the start, then a motor inn for a few weeks. Stayed in a cabin by myself for a year. Pit stops here and there over the years. Last place I stayed was probably... Richmond, a couple years ago now. Javier managed to keep me for a few months."

She turned to look at AJ. "Richmond was when AJ was so little, probably the only time he was really stationed somewhere."

"Oh, well, welcome to your new home then," she said. They were keeping them? Really? "I'm Brody, and this is Violet. We hope you enjoy our little community."

Freya tilted her head in thanks. "I appreciate it, really. You have no idea how many people would have left us for dead out there." She took a bite, and her hunger took over until she finished the entire bowl in a matter of moments. How long since she ate? Her last bit of food had been given to AJ...

She heard him yawn again, and then Gabe. "Take him to bed," Freya told him, "and go to sleep yourself. It's been rough."

He didn't argue, lifting up AJ and coming towards her. "Don't stay awake for too long," he said, placing a kiss on her cheek before allowing AJ the same. Freya waved him off, but she kept her eyes on them until they vanished into the dorms.

Then all attention was on her. "It's game night!" someone announced as the other two little ones started trudging to the dorms. "Freya, will you do us the honors of joining tonight? Or are you turning in as well?"

How long since Freya played a game? She wasn't so sure either. "I'll play," she responded, joining them around a fire. Aasim and Omar smiled when she sat next to them. A group of strangers who knew each other well but didn't know her at all. How many times had she put herself here? Didn't matter since now most of them were dead or worse. 

"Since we have someone new, I thought maybe we could play a game of Truth." He cut the deck in half. "Two cards will be passed around. Get your cards as close to twenty one without going over, and the winner chooses who they wish to ask a question. Answer honestly or what even is the point?"

Freya nodded her head as he drew from the top and began passing it around. It had made two full circles before Freya looked down at her cards. A ten and a ten. "Twenty," she said aloud, looking at the group. No one beat her. "Okay. Uhm. Violet." The girl in question looked up, seemingly surprised she had been chose. "If you had to kiss someone here, who would it be?"

The female looked around the group, eyes stopping on Brody, Ruby, and then Freya. "You," she responded, "since you're not annoying so far."

"Fair enough," Freya conceded. The cards were passed around again, and Freya pulled two cards. A one and four equals five.

Mitch held up an ace and a ten with a grin. "Twenty one," he stated, making a few of the others groan. "Alright, Freya... What is your real name? Because it can't seriously be Freya."

Freya shrugged. No, Freya was not her birth name, but she was so far from that girl... "My name is Freya. Why, do you think it's a bad name, Mitch?"

"I don't think any name can possibly be a horrible name for a beautiful girl like you," one said, the one who started the game. "By the way, my name is Louis, if that makes things better."

She smiled at him, and the cards were passed around again. Freya got shit cards again and didn't pay attention to who won until Violet asked, "Alright, Freya, what's the deal with the machete? There's a story behind it, right?"Her hand dropped down.

Freya swallowed and said, "Well, about a year and a half after the shitshow started, just before the second winter, I was staying in this cabin by myself. A group found it while I was out hunting one day, and this group had a man named Luke. Luke... Luke took me under his wing. He gave me this just before he died."

There was silence that met her answer. It was strange, how much Luke's death still hurt, and she wondered if maybe that showed in her words. "If that's how you guys are going to react to every question that involves someone dead, you're not going to like asking me questions," Freya said, trying to lighten the mood. 

"How many dead people do you know?" Omar asked, almost as if he couldn't believe it.

Freya leaned back and thought about it. "Well... from the beginning... Glenn might still be alive. Lilly, too, theoretically. Sarah, Clem, AJ, and me are the survivors of the second group. Those traitorous bastards from the extension. Jane, maybe?" There was no point in going over who might be alive any better than who was definitely dead. "I don't know. Hard question to answer, Omar."

She stood up and stretched her arms over her head. "I've been in plenty groups. Left before things got too bad sometimes. I've been separated from Clem and Duck more times than I can count, Sarah quite a few too. But they're my family, them, Gabe, and AJ, and they've survived so far. I can't think about I lost along the way as long as I still have them," Freya told them and jabbed her finger in the direction of the dorms. "I'm going to bed. I'll check on my friends before going to sleep."

"You remember which room is ours?" Ruby asked.

"I can find it," Freya assured her. "And thank you, all of you."

Freya went into the dorms and opened the door to the boys' room. It creaked softly, but not enough to wake up anyone inside. AJ curled into Gabriel's side, the teenager keeping a protective arm around him and close to the wall. Duck hadn't moved at all, still on his side, and Freya stepped inside to listen to his heart again. Safe.

She closed the door with a soft click and went to the girls' room. Sarah snored on her side of the room, a soft sound compared to the rest of the noises from the building. Clementine still didn't move, and Freya tried not to notice the tape around her hand that connected her to the bed. She stepped inside and listened to Sarah's heart first.

I promise to protect you, Sarah, always. But I can't do that if you die here!

Freya stood and went to Clementine's side, pushing a curl behind her ear before listening again. It was comforting to hear such a sound from the frail-looking girl. 

I protected you already, didn't I? Trust me to do it again. I swear to you, Clementine, I will protect you every single time.

How stupid promises were in the face of accidents, of things unplanned and unaccounted for. Freya could only do her best so many times, and then one day-

No. No, she would die first. She couldn't stand to see the day these two died and there was nothing she could do to stop it. AJ was important to her, Gabriel was important to her, but Sarah, Clem, and Duck were her reason for living. If they died, then she would just walk into a herd of walkers and die there. 

She opened the door to the room she woke up in and stepped inside. Freya fell asleep quickly, unaware of how tired she was until she was asleep.

Chapter Text

A year and a half ago...

"I told you, didn't I?"

The whip came down on her back, and her teeth broke through the skin of her lip long ago, metal tanging around in her mouth. Her skin was ripped on her back, likely torn to shreds, not that she cared. What she had done for this punishment was worth it, even as torn up as she was. When she failed to respond in the desired amount of time, the whip cracked down rapidly, the sounds blurring together. She had to stay silent, even as the tears slid from her tightly shut eyes.

He knelt in front of her, sighing. "C'mon, Freya. You knew your orders were to kill them. They took our supplies, killed one of our own." She bit down the snarl rising in her throat. "Tell us where they went, Freya. Tell us. Come on."

She gathered the blood in her mouth and spat it out. Into his face. He let out a disgusted noise, jerking back as if it were a knife instead of her blood. "You're fucking weak," Freya hissed. Her orders were simple, explicit, and easy. Kill the two boys who took from their supply cache, no matter what community they were from. But as she stood above them, looked at them both, two boys trying to find their way, one with an open, experienced heart and the other with an open, naive heart, she couldn't do it.

Especially as she saw the one who knew what his good heart would do stand up and introduce them both. "My name is Carl Grimes. This is Henry. Who are you?" He was, undoubtedly, stronger than she could ever be where it truly counted: stronger in spirit.

"And how so?" he asked, venom dripping from the words.

"You think I'll apologize because you rip my back to shreds? You think I'll give you what you want if you starve me?" Freya shook her head. "You're so fucking weak. Go on. Kill me. But don't be surprised when you start losing your war."

Freya woke up at the first sight of light, hearing Ruby on the other side of the room sleeping peacefully. At least someone around here could sleep so easily. She stood up and pulled her boots on easily, noting the holes again. She would need new ones soon, before winter set in. Perhaps she could find some in a nearby dumpster.

She grabbed her backpack and walked out of the room, the door clicking shut softly behind her. She went to the boys' room first, finding all three still asleep, and then checked on the girls. She smiled at the sight of color returning to Clementine again before going outside. No one else seemed to be awake yet, not that it would be a surprise. Freya always woke up first, no matter what group she was in. This was no exception.

She walked to the second floor of the admin building, finding the bag that had been set up by someone or another at some point in time. Freya held her fists in front of her face and closed her eyes, bringing to mind all of the dark things she had seen- had done herself in some cases. A two year old's head split open. The tearing of flesh from the man tied down. The constant scent of burnt meat around her. The eyes of-

Her body struck out, taking those negative emotions with them, if only temporarily. Freya hit the bag over and over again, punching, kicking, kneeing, doing whatever made her feel better at that moment. She only stopped when she felt someone watching her. "Don't stop on my accord, princess," Mitch said from the door. "Looked like you were having fun."

Freya didn't dignify it with an answer, backing away and reaching into her bag to draw a water bottle out. "Gotta admit, I don't remember the last time someone used this old thing," he continued. "Though I think they wore gloves. You sure you know what you're doing, princess?"

"Freya," she corrected, lifting up a bloodied hand. "And the point is for it to hurt. I have scars all over my knuckles for a reason, or did you just not notice?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why the hell would you do that? It's gotta hurt, right?" He crossed the floor, attempting to take her hand into his, and she pushed his grasping hands away. Mitch demanded, "What the hell is wrong with you, princess?"

"Pain is in the mind. I'm better at protecting when I'm used to pain," she stated in return, finding her old strips of cloth and wrapping her knuckles up. "They'll stop bleeding before long."

Mitch seemed flabbergasted at the mere notion of what she was doing. And Freya knew what it sounded like to others' ears too. But she lost so many people because she couldn't handle pain. What use was she if she couldn't protect what mattered to her? None, absolutely none. "Who else is awake?" she asked him.

He closed his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest. "AJ, Gabe, Marlon, Brody. A couple others are going out hunting soon," he answered, and Freya nodded her head. "You're probably going to be asked to help since you're well. Just don't hurt yourself on purpose out there, okay?"

Freya shrugged her shoulders. She climbed down the steps and went outside where Marlon was up and giving directions. "Gabe, I want you to stay here for today. We can find something tomorrow, when your arm isn't so sore." Freya came into his sights, and he said, "Oh, there you are. It's been a while since we did a perimeter sweep, so I was hoping you and Mitch could do that today. Just go to the edge of the safe zone and take out whatever walkers you see."

"Doesn't do much," Aasim muttered.

"No, but it's fewer later," Freya said, already palming her hilt. "You've got it. Tell Mitch to get me when he's ready."

She climbed to the top of the lookout tower and observed the walkers near the gate. There weren't many of them, but it was enough to make her paranoia itch. Freya leaned over the edge, attratcing the attention of one that tried climbing the walls and failed spectacularly.

"Princess!"

It took Freya a moment to remember he was speaking to her, and she rolled her eyes before looking down at Mitch. "You ready?" he asked, and Freya started climbing down. "How many are out there?"

Freya shrugged. "Ten maybe. Not too many," she responded, drawing her machete. "Enough we need to be careful."

She pushed the gate open, sinking the blade into the head of the first walker she saw. Mitch muttered something behind her before closing the gate and putting a knife through the skull of another. "Watch this," he called, reaching into his pocket for what looked like a knife he himself made. He threw the knife, and it sunk square in the forehead of a walker.

Freya raised a brow. "Too easy," she responded, taking out her own knife. "Watch this." Freya waited until a walker was close, until even Mitch was uncomfortable, before throwing the knife and ducking beneath the arms of the walker, stabbing backwards and hearing the sound of the skull breaking easily. She drew it out, moving forward and slashed through another. She took out the knife and dodged another set of arms before sinking the blade in.

An armless walker approached Freya, and she held it back with one arm, far away from her, and looked to Mitch. "Well? Pick up the slack. I can't kill every walker for you." She saw him mutter beneath his breath before a hand touched her shoulder and she whirled away with a curse. The walker fell forward, and she stabbed the one her arm had been holding back just before he took a chunk from her shoulder. Her foot slammed into the skull of the other walker as Mitch took down two others.

That was close. Mitch nodded towards her, and Freya walked beside him. "Ever done a perimeter sweep before?" he asked.

"Richmond had big walls, but I had to go out and take care of walkers with other groups. Had to do it at least three times a week at the cabin." Though it might have been her concern for Rebecca when she met them. "And when we don't have walls or a place to sleep? Perimeter sweep is called patrol."

Mitch laughed, seeming to take it as a joke. "Well, I guess that's fair then, princess."

Silence fell between them, and Freya kept a sharp eye out for walkers. Mitch was at ease in these woods, and he probably shouldn't have been. Danger lurked all around them, nonetheless in some stupid ass forest. She had no clue when the hunting party was going to leave or even where they would be hunting. She didn't even know the edge of this safe zone they were supposed to be sweeping. 

Mitch, in an effort to fill the silence, asked, "So where are you from? Originally, I mean."

"Small city in Georgia. I was born there." It didn't hurt to indulge him. Not everyone was used to the silence Freya had almost come to prefer over any form of speaking. It was safer at least.

"Huh. Any siblings? You do pretty well with AJ from what I've seen."

Freya licked her lips. "I was the second born of four. My mom didn't believe in having her kids raise each other- she was the oldest of six and her mom died when she was fourteen. Rebecca, AJ's mom, didn't entrust AJ to me anyway. Wait until you see how close he is with Clementine," she stated, smiling at the idea of them together again.

"Isn't she younger than you?" Freya nodded and didn't offer anymore. "I'm sort of the same, I guess. Willy was young when all of this started, so I sort of took him in. None of our parents were coming back for us, and the faculty left us here anyway. It feels like this is the only family I ever had."

"Nothing wrong with that." Freya heard a twig snap and looked to her left. A walker on the ground. She waited until it was close enough before stomping its head, feeling the impact more than she should have. She would need shoes sooner than she thought. "I can't imagine it. Staying with one group for so long."

"Haven't you been with Clementine for a long time?"

Freya thought of how to answer. "I've known her since the beginning. A few days after it hit Georgia. Known Duck since then too, but... Accidents have happened that have made us separate over and over again. Duck and Clem stuck together the first time, and then it was Clem, Sarah, and AJ while Duck came with me. Various combinations since. Usually with me ending up alone."

He was quiet for a few moments. "When you say alone, you don't just mean separated from Clementine and Duck or whatever, do you? You mean alone. As in, no one to talk to or watch your back. Just you and whatever is around." Freya didn't answer, seeing as he knew the answer already. Mitch was quiet again. "You probably don't need anyone, do you?"

"No." Freya was quick to deny that. "If Clementine, Sarah, Duck, Gabe, and AJ all disappeared from my life and I knew I would never see them again... well, let's say I'd finally go through with walking into a herd."

"Don't say that," Mitch scolded, and Freya shrugged her shoulders. It was true. "Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. Finding a home, keeping them safe, none of that shit. You're with us now."

If only it were truly that simple. Freya ducked her head beneath a branch. A few minutes of walking passed before Mitch stopped, declaring it as the end of the safe zone. Freya nodded and walked beside him again.

Mitch and Freya spent most of the day walking quietly, only having to handle a few walkers here and there. It was quiet, the way Freya preferred, and it allowed Mitch plenty of time to get to know Freya. He learned plenty about her, even if it wasn't necessarily her past. Whatever she had done in the past, where ever it had been, it taught her more than just how to survive- it taught her to thrive.

He was impressed by her, if nothing else. She was definitely capable of noticing little things, making things make sense in her head, and he learned quickly that her senses were far superior to his. "Is that normal?" she asked, pointing to a trap that was tampered with.

Mitch approached it, checking it over. If Aasim had taken whatever it caught, it would have been reset. Aasim was religious about that. Not enough blood to have been walkers. "I- no, this isn't," he responded after a few minutes, and Freya immediately began searching the woods. "Let's go. We need to head back-"

"We need to find who did this," she countered, face hard. Mitch wasn't so sure about that. He needed to make sure camp was safe. Her gaze finally met his, and she stared for a moment before softening. "If we head back now, whoever did this could follow us. We need to cover our tracks, find a way to lose them-"

"And if they're not watching?"

Her gaze spoke the words she didn't say. "You're not accustomed to this line of thinking. I am." Freya reset the trap and stood up again. "We either find who did this and kill them or lose them, but either way we need to know where they came from at some point. I'm thinking maybe we could set some human traps." Mitch swallowed until he heard a twig crack. If he heard it, Freya definitely did.

"Found you." Freya's knife flung out, and he heard a hiss of pain. She walked to a bush and reached in, dragging someone out despite the thorns. He couldn't have been much older than Tenn. Mitch waited to see what she would do. She drew her knife back out, twirling it over her fingers. She asked, "So, which group are you from?"

"Not gonna fucking tell you," he spat, hatred in his eyes. "Doesn't matter. My boss-"

"I know you're a small fry, and I can see how much faith you have in your higher ups. I don't give a fuck about that. I asked which group you're from." She looked him over. "No walker skin, so not a Whisperer. No armor, so not the Kingdom. You don't look like a farmer, so not Hilltop. Doubt you're from Richmond, Alexandria, the factory. Definitely not a Serpent. You'd have died before you got caught."

He didn't say anything. "Mitch, start walking back. You don't need to see this." Freya brandished the knife again, and the kid seemed to think she was joking. Or just didn't believe her. But Mitch, even in this short time span, knew how aware she was of everything around her. This guy wouldn't stand a chance.

But if something went wrong and this guy overpowered her, then it would be on Mitch. If she died, if she was hurt, if she- God forbid- was raped, that would be his fault. He didn't know this guy from Adam. "I'm staying, princess," Mitch responded, planting his feet.

"Fine." She didn't argue, though he wasn't sure why. She pressed the knife into his arm and said, "Tell me, what have you heard of Freya?" His face paled at least two shades. "Go on. Tell me. I like to hear the stories circulating about me these days. I left the Serpents three years ago after all."

"I-I'm sorry- I'm so sorry- AGH!" She sliced his arm, and he clutched the superficial wound. "Please, I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry. I'm from the Delta- the Delta. Please, Freya, I'm sorry."

Her eyes narrowed. "The Delta?" It wasn't one she heard of. "Why are you around here then? Is your camp based closeby?"

"No. We- shit- walkers!" Mitch turned around as Freya stood up, holding her machete in front of her. It was a group of six walkers, all clustered together. He took out his knife and looked back at where the guy was only to find him gone.

"No time. Gotta take 'em out or leave 'em behind," she said to Mitch, pushing him away from the walkers. "Let's get back. I'll ask Marlon if he's had any run-ins before now with this Delta."

Mitch didn't have much choice but to follow her directions.

Freya entered the camp with Mitch close behind, having long since lost the group of walkers and whoever might have possibly tailed them back to the school. Mitch hadn't asked any of the questions she knew was on his mind, and she commended him for it. Any other might have demanded questions, might have even tried to stop her, but Mitch knew it was necessary, even stayed out of whatever sense of obligation he had.

"Freya!" It was Gabe. He came over and wrapped an arm over her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Aasim said he saw a lot of walkers out there today, and you were supposed to be back hours ago. What the fuck happened out there?!"

"Later," she promised and glared when he opened his mouth to reject the idea. She took his hand. "I will tell you, but first I would like to speak to Marlon. Where is he?"

"Office. I'll show you," Brody offered.

Freya nodded and turned to Mitch. "Pretend you weren't there," she whispered to him, and he looked at her as if she were crazy. She might damn well have been. "It'll be fine."

She had a feeling. This guy, this Delta, they were scouting out awfully far. Part of the appeal of the cabin was how isolated it was, and this school had that same isolation. Someone had to know something was here, or they wouldn't be this far out. Not for any reason, not in woods like these. Brody led the way to the office, the talk between them nonexistent.

Freya opened the door to Marlon's office and entered. Brody closed it behind her. "Mitch and I got separated today," she started casually.

"Is Mitch okay?" Freya nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. But while we were separated, I was attacked by a person." His eyes widened, then narrowed. He was prepared to lie, though out of fear or honor she didn't know. Brody's shuffle indicated it was the former. "The name 'Delta' mean anything to you, Marlon?"

"Not a damn thing. Why?"

She nodded and closed the door to the balcony as well, hoping no one would hear. "I'm sure you've figured out I was out there for a long time. I've lost friends, family, and I've been betrayed by friends and family." Her gaze turned on him. "Don't even fucking try to lie to me. I'll know. Just like I know whatever you're hiding about this Delta is a secret you keep out of fear. Start talking."

He was quiet for a long moment, too long, and Brody opened and closed her mouth several times, beginning to hyperventilate. Freya shifted her weight before he said, "We don't owe you any answers."

That was how he wanted to play it? Fine. Freya leaned against the wall. "I can't tell you how many people I've killed." The two jerked at that. "Not because I can't bear to think about it. Not because I've just simply killed so many it became easy and I could miss one or two there. I've snuck into camps at night and slit the throats of women so they'd kill their men. I've killed over blankets. I've killed in anger. I've killed in mercy.

"You're afraid. I understand that. But, Marlon, when you took me and mine in, you let a monster into your home." He was reaching for his bow. "The question is this: will this monster be loyal to you as well, or only to those she has already deemed worthy of her trust?"

"Are you threatening us?" Brody demanded.

"Hardly. If it were a threat, you'd have a time limit." He didn't like this. He didn't have to. "I'm offering an alliance, if nothing else. We can be friends, Marlon, Brody, and I can be your secret weapon either way. I need to know what I'm up against to do that effectively."

He blinked, and Brody bit her lip. "You want to... defend us?" she asked for clarification.

"Is this Delta a threat?" Hesitation and doubt swam in the air and in their eyes. But Marlon sighed and nodded his head. "Why?"

Marlon took a deep, deep breath. "This cannot leave this room." He was afraid. Freya knew what that was like. She had some sins she could never repeat out loud too. She nodded at him. "Last year, we told everyone the twins died." She heard of them, listening to AJ and Tenn play together last night. Tenn's sisters. "The truth is, raiders found us when we were out, and they gave us an option: turn over the twins then or turn over Ericson later."

A rock and a hard place. Freya had been there before. "So you gave them the twins." Shame and guilt gnawed at his expression, grief filled Brody's. It had a toll on everyone, even those who made the decision. "Who else knows?"

"Just me, you, Brody, and... them, if they're even alive."

Freya left the wall. "I was with a group called the Serpents. Hardcore group, militia type, and merciless towards our enemies. We were nomadic, but we had places we stayed during the summer and during the winter. I've fought a number of groups. Saviors, when they came for us, Kingdom, when they were sent to us, Whisperers, when they wanted to annihilate us... I'm good at keeping secrets. Don't worry about that from me, but you should both consider telling the truth before they came back. I can only kill so many before someone slips up.

"That could lead to mutiny- to everyone falling apart!" Brody responded.

"Best we are all on the same fucking page than dead," Freya snarled back. "Delta... they might be new, but that was a child, younger than you, that I was willing to kill out there. If that's who they send as scouts, half baked and incapable of their job, I'd hate to know what they'll do to the people here."

Freya started on her way out. "Just keep it in mind. Nothing is worse than a group with a leader who has secrets." 

She set out, finding AJ quickly and reminded Gabe to wait.  Mitch kept his lips sealed, even when Marlon went to bed early with Brody. Even when Louis offered another game, and she took AJ to bed. Freya took a breath and rubbed her temples, preparing herself for what would come again.

Chapter Text

Six years ago...

Freya was finished with her first rabbit when one of them came outside and sat next to her, shifting between her form and the ground. It wasn't surprising he was awkward. The last time he saw her, she had a gun between her shoulders just before she locked them out of her cabin three days ago. He finally cleared his throat and said, "I'm Luke. Pete said your name is Freya?"

"I answer to it, yes," she responded, turning away and coughing. Her throat hurt so much. That must have been a downside to being alone, one of the great many. "Why?"

He watched her for a second. "Are you... really on your own out here?"

"Can't tell by my voice?" Freya asked, the scratchiness of it more pronounced as it hurt more.

Luke had the decency to appear embarrassed, and Freya continued with trying to skin the rabbit. She hated skinning animals because she wasted so much or just messed it up so badly that it was hardly worth keeping sometimes, nonetheless to feed more than just herself. "Here," he said, holding his hands out.

Freya was hardly in a position to deny him. She let him take the rabbit and her knife and zoned out to his instructions as he proceeded to skin the rabbit for her. He finished with the third rabbit when he asked a question, and Freya responded by giving him an inquisitive glance. He chuckled and repeated, "So you've been by yourself for how long now?"

"About a year. Maybe a year and a half."

"But you're just a kid?"

Freya shrugged, her mind fogging with the memories of those she left, of what exactly happened. "I knew what I was getting myself into."

Sarah woke the next morning, and Freya stayed in the camp to keep by her side. It was different with Sarah; Duck had grown out of his childishness, but Sarah never quite did. She could handle things now, but change- especially as drastic as this- meant she needed someone to stay with her. Gabe went out in her stead, hunting today.

He wasn't happy to hear about the conversation with Marlon and Brody, opting to try to burst into Marlon's room. Freya kept him from doing so, but only because he wasn't supposed to know and no one else knew either. Going hunting today had been a good thing for him. "Freya?" Sarah asked as they traveled the grounds. "Isn't that a greenhouse?"

Yes, it was, and Freya never asked why it was no longer used. "It is," Freya confirmed, sticking close to her. It flashed in her mind that she saw someone pushed off the top of a roof where a greenhouse had been, her and Clementine. She was with Luke, hiding and waiting for her moment, completely helpless for Sarah's mental state. "It's locked up though."

"Do you remember him? Carver?" His face flashed in her mind, and then it changed to what Kenny left behind. The difference between what was human and what was crushed in, brains splattered, eyeball popped out and ruined."Things were... simpler then, weren't they? We were different?"

"Yes, Sarah, we were," Freya said honestly. "But there's nothing wrong with who we are now, okay?"

"My dad was alive back then." Carlos, Freya remembered, looking away from her as tears filled her eyes. "I wish we had saved him. I wish... I wish he could have been saved."

I wish we could have saved everyone. I wish we never picked up and left, I wish we stood our ground. I wish Rebecca never slept with Carver and made him come after her. I wish Pete didn't go hunting that morning. I wish Nick hadn't killed that guy. I wish Alvin kept his mouth shut. I wish Kenny had been okay. I wish Nick hadn't died. I wish Walter hadn't died. I wish Luke-

"Yeah. I do too," Freya said. "I wish... I wish we had never left the cabin, even if it meant never finding this place."

Even if it meant never knowing what she was capable of. Even if it meant she knew she wasn't alone. Even if it meant she died in the cabin.

Sarah's shoulders shook, and Freya caught her before she fell. She held her close as Sarah sobbed, keeping quiet so not to disturb the others. It wasn't something she could help, but she certainly wished it was. Footsteps sounded behind her, and then stopped. "Oh, uh, sorry," Violet said, "but I thought maybe Sarah would want some lunch. All I have is an apple."

"Thank you, Violet," Freya said, meaning it. "Sarah? Sarah, look at me." Those big brown eyes found hers. "Violet, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Violet." Sarah looked to the blonde woman, and her hands fell to the apple. "Violet was trying to watch out for you, Sarah. She brought an apple. Are you hungry?"

"I- yeah. Yeah, I am." Sarah was back on her feet again and approaching Violet. "Thank you, Violet." She walked back to the center of camp, and Freya let her go.

Freya crossed her arms over her chest. "She gets like this. Whenever there's a drastic change, she's sort of... lost. In the beginning, her dad kept her from seeing all of this shit. I taught her to use a gun, to know what berries were poisonous around the cabin, to kill a walker. But she never used any of that until we were escaping a tyrant. We were on our way out when Carlos was shot in the head, instantly dead. She was right next to him."

"Shit," Violet muttered. 

Freya nodded and gestured to the green house. "One of the first things she saw, just a day before that, was a man pushed off a rooftop for her incompetence... in working in a greenhouse." Violet's eyes widened, and her frown furthered. "It's not a big deal. She'll be fine if you give her a day or two. But just so you know, she's not like the rest of us. She's... just not."

"Thanks for telling me," Violet sighed. "Anyone else in your group fucked up?"

Freya chuckled, knowing she meant no offense. "Gabe has authority issues that got his sister killed, Duck will protect you from shadows if it means you stay alive, Clem strives for peace in times of strife because of our first group, I'm military trained, and AJ was born in this shit. We're all various forms of fucked up."

"No kidding," Violet laughed, and Freya cracked a grin at her. "Louis wants to play the piano when everyone is awake. Says it'll make for a proper celebration for the newbies. If you don't want to, or you know one of the others won't, just tell him. He can take it, I promise. And we might all be better for it."

"I think it'll be nice... AJ hasn't heard much music before," Freya thought aloud and took a deep breath. "Damn. Clem needs to wake up so she can care for him. He's running Gabe ragged, and I'm not sensitive enough. Or Duck, he's better than us too."

Duck... Freya felt her heart clench as she remembered he was still asleep, and he was supposed to be awake by now. Violet said, "Hey, let's go check out what Ruby's doing. I think she's trying to find something."

"Nah, I need to get back to Sarah." She needed to check in on her now before too much time passed and something happened. "Thank you, though."

She had to make sure everyone settled, and then she could worry about herself.

Gabe settled in with the rest of the kids after he finished eating. The usual players were present- Louis, Marlon, Violet, and Mitch- and he watched Freya fret over Sarah and keep up with AJ, offering him a break at last. Freya saw both of them done eating and pushed her half eaten meal to the side, saying, "I'll take them to bed."

"You should come back," Louis said, "since you haven't played since the first night."

"Maybe," Freya said, which loosely translated to "no" in her language.

Gabe sighed and said, "Come back and play. You've been chasing Sarah all day, and you need to relax and smile."

She hesitated, then her shoulders sagged in defeat as she was caught by Gabe once again not taking care of herself. Freya could take care of the others all day, and she did so at the expense of herself. She never noticed, never gave it another thought, but Gabe certainly did. Someone had to watch her.

"What's the deal?" Louis asked, gesturing to Sarah as soon as they couldn't hear him.

Gabe replied, "Ah, Sarah just isn't good with change. Her nerves stay frazzled, but she can control it when we're on the road... because we're always on the road. Staying here, in one spot, it has her nerves going again, makes her change priorities. She'll be fine in a few days."

"Does Freya always take care of her?" Marlon asked.

"Freya takes care of everyone," Gabriel corrected, "to the point she won't take care of herself. But she and Sarah, even Duck... those are bonds you can't fuck with."

Mitch scoffed, "Then tell the princess to learn to take care of herself. Why does she chase them around anyway? They're just like us."

Gabe looked to see if she was coming back. "I didn't tell you this. When Sarah lost her dad, she was going over the rails. No one could get her to do anything, eat, drink, give a fuck about her life, and she ended up with Luke in a trailer park surrounded by walkers. Luke was ready to leave her it was so bad. Freya barely got her out, and eventually got her back to herself. I don't know about Duck, but he's always preferred her comfort to Clem or Sarah or mine."

He could tell by their expressions what they thought of it, and then that no one had been keeping an eye out for the girl in question to make her return. Blood rushed into his cheeks when he saw her. "You forgot," Freya said as she sat down, "to mention the part where I had to get Clementine out too. Where I had to process my trauma and help them process theirs. I've never been allowed to be... anything but strong."

"Shit, Frey, I-"

"It's fine. And Duck relies on me because his mother was suicidal before she was bit." Gabe jumped at how brutally she worded it, and he saw the others wince before staring in shock. Freya's smile was rueful. "He didn't know that. Probably still doesn't. But I did. I knew what she wanted to do every time she held a gun, or a knife, and the dairy almost pushed her over. I tried my best to prepare him for that, to wean him off of her and onto me. Then the day came where I got separated."

"Freya..." The day they separated, the day Katja was bit, the day... their group started fracturing before breaking completely. He still wasn't privvy to all of those details.

Violet looked between the two of them, then she grabbed the deck. "I was thinking we could play go fish," she said, started to grin. Gabe looked down, knowing that story and the ones following a little too well but not at all. Freya ran off the RV, Lilly shot Doug, and Katja killed herself in front of Kenny, Duck, and Lee. Then Savannah. "You guys still remember how to play, right?"

Freya nodded, and Gabe forced a smile. "You'll know when I kick your ass," he responded as she started dealing.

Shit. He knew that wasn't the whole story, and it wasn't even the tip of the iceberg on Freya's feelings about it. Gabe didn't want to bring it back up, but the guilt gnawed at him. "I'm sorry, Frey," he said after Violet finished dealing. "I know you don't like to talk about it, so I just thought-"

"You're fine, Gabriel. Honestly, I'm so exhausted," she sighed, leaning back. "We have history. Some of it is good, some of it is bad. You have to figure out how to make every moment worth those bad times. Play games, hang around each other, and always tell the truth."

Gabe flicked his eyes towards Marlon, who was looking into the fire with a vaguely scared expression. "But next time, ask me to my face," she said, adding a wink to the four across from her. "I'll answer most questions. It doesn't bother me so much anymore."

Louis looked at those on either side of him before raising his hand. "Actually, I have a question." Gabe watched Freya smile at him and gesture for him to ask. Louis bit his lip. "Have you ever... had to kill anyone?"

Gabe felt her stiffen beside him. He reached over and put his hand over hers, noting the others watching every movements. Stiffly, she nodded her head and said, "There was a point in time where I thought they were dead, and I was not a good person. I made many enemies. Some might still be out there."

"Let's play the game," Mitch interrupted, taking the initiative and going first. "Vi, sixes?"

"Go fish."

"Please, I have a daughter. I- you can't do this. Please. Please. PLEASE!" The bullet went through his eye, and she let her arm fall to her side. Her commanding officer stood behind her, grinning with pride as the soldier she was give  obeyed her every order. It was nearly impossible to rebuild broken men and women, but broken children were appearing to be a different story, especially the girl performing executions.

She walked to the next one, a boy wearing walker skin. His eyes were almost as broken hers, but much more hopeless. They both knew he wasn't getting out of here alive. Behind her, her commanding officer taunted, "Any last words?"

He looked up at the girl holding a gun to his head. "My boyfriend. If you see him, let him go. This isn't who he is, not anymore. Let him go. Let him leave. And if you do see him and you don't, tell him I loved him." She watched his head fall down, expression empty, ready to accept his fate. "His name is-"

She pulled the trigger. He fell to the ground. A hand clapped her shoulder. "Good job. You'll make a fine Serpent yet."

Freya jolted awake, grabbing her machete. The sun wasn't shining through just yet, and she wiped the sweat from her forehead as Ruby stirred across the room. "Freya?" she muttered, and the girl stood up. She motioned for Ruby to go back to sleep as she left the room, shutting the door tight behind her.

Mitch was by the doors, chin on his chest. He starting taking the last watch shift at night and hanging with Freya in the mornings before everyone was awake. The game must have made him more tired than normal. She passed a mirror and stopped again. Her hair was out of control. She needed to cut it, even if it would be a surprise for Clementine and Duck. She brushed a few blonde strands over her shoulder.

Her hand rested on his arm, and Mitch jerked awake, grabbing her arm in a vice that would have terrified anyone else. "Princess," he sighed after a moment, letting go. 

"Go to bed, Mitch," she whispered. "It's early, and you stayed up late then woke up for shift. Get some rest."

He shook his head before opening the door. Freya shook her head and went outside before heading for the bag. Mitch followed behind her quietly, as he always did, though Freya wasn't exactly sure why. She didn't need protection. He should have known that. She lived out there for so long...

Freya jumped when she heard something fall, machete at the ready. "Whoa, princess. Nothin' there," Mitch stated as she began calming down. "What's got you so jumpy?"

"Nothing," she answered immediately, turning back and going to the bag. She would need to work extra hard today, do everything in her power to not have dreams. It was easier on the road. She was too worried about what would happen when she was asleep to dream.

The bag took her anger well enough, and she could feel Mitch staring at her. Watching her every move like a fucking vulture, like those fucking- "AAGGGHHH!" she screamed, kicking the bag from the ceiling and breathing harshly. It landed, and she jumped on it, throwing more punches that were harder than before. 

It was overwhelming. He hadn't meant to watch her like they had, so calculating, but it forced her back. Forced her to remember how it was to be dead inside. Forced her blood to rush to remind her she wasn't. Forced her past and her present to remind her of who she truly was.

She elbowed Mitch in his side when he dragged her off. "Princess- princess- Freya!" he snapped, and she stopped fighting, half in his arms and half on the bag. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Seriously, you have to fucking talk to someone!"

"Get the fuck off me," she growled, pushing against him again. "Get the fuck off me, Mitch!"

"Look at your fucking hand- look at it!" He forced her hand to her face, and Freya ignored it, thrashing against him even more. Mitch grunted with the effort to keep her down, to keep her from taking more of her anger out. "Stop fighting me, god damn it! Stop fucking- god damn it!"

Freya latched her teeth into his arm just as the door burst open and Gabe ran inside with Marlon and Brody. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Gabriel shouted as Mitch finally let go of Freya. She climbed back on top of the bag. Gabe swore.

He couldn't believe it. How long had she been doing this. "Mitch, what the fuck happened?" Marlon asked, roughly bringing him upright. Gabe couldn't see the wounds on Freya's hands except that the blood was flowing freely. 

"I come with her every morning, so don't try to start shit," Mitch hissed, and Brody stepped between them quickly before it escalated too far. Both pushed against her to try to get at each other, and Gabe rolled his eyes. He knew what it looked like, but he also knew Freya immediately latched herself onto the bag instead of turning around and using her machete to slit his neck. It wouldn't be the first time.

Gabe moved around to approach Freya from the front, snapping to get attention on him. Slowly the fighting behind Freya ceased, and it was only the sound of her hurting herself even more that was heard as he approached her. "Freya," he said, trying not to let on this was his first time doing it himself. "Freya, listen to me. It's Gabe."

The words never came from her mouth. Only the anguish and regret on her face revealed her inner turmoil. She growled. "Freya," he said louder, "please listen to me. It's Gabe, your friend. Whatever it is, it's in the past. It's not who you are anymore-"

"Fuck off," she hissed.

"Freya, look at your hands. Look at them." She did, and her eyes grew wide, tears filling them. Gabe came closer. "Shh. No, that's not someone else's blood. It's all yours. It's all yours." Freya slumped over, and Gabe caught her before she hit the floor. He brushed her hair aside, trying his best to get her out of this stage.

Mitch grumbled and walked out, but Brody went and grabbed the first aid kit. Marlon oversaw as the two patched her fists up, cleaning and bandaging until the sun had long since risen and most of the others were awake outside. "I'm sorry," she said at long last.

Gabe let out a shaky breath. "You know you can talk to us, Freya." She did, didn't she? Sure, he wasn't Clementine or Duck, but he was still present for her, still her friend. He risked his life for her, and she for his. Was he just not good enough-

Her hands clutched his jacket as she drew herself into his lap, buried her face in his neck, and sobs left her throat.

Mitch didn't know what he did wrong. He was just trying to stop Freya from hurting herself, and he turned out to be the bad guy. Marlon immediately assumed he what? Tried to kill her? Tried to rape her? What the fuck. He was just- just-

"Mitch?"

He turned to see the princess behind him. It had been hours since the dawn, since he last saw her, and he immediately hid in one of the darker corners of the dormitory. Willy knew where to find him, always did, and it turned out the rugrat deemed her enough to bring to him. "Hey," he greeted lamely, hoping she wasn't going to wring him out.

She sat down next to him, wincing when she put weight on her hand. There was quiet until she sighed. "I'm usually good at reading people. I know when something's wrong or off, even if it's the first time meeting someone. Clementine always describes it as a feeling in her stomach, but it's not for me. It's just a thought that comes into my head, something I just know. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why you follow me to that bag every morning."

"Does it matter?" Mitch grumbled.

"Of course it does. We're... friends, aren't we?"

Were they? Mitch hadn't thought about it. He was just generally a dick, so most people only tolerated him. "Do you think we are?" he asked. Freya nodded. He took a deep breath. "I just don't think you should be alone. You're always so angry at those times, and then the rest of the day you watch out for everyone else. It reminds me you're more than just a robot sometimes."

She smiled, a noiseless laugh escaping her. "A robot, huh?" Her expression turned almost sad. "I'm sorry if I scared you today. It wasn't my intention. I just had a bad dream last night, and I lost control of my anger."

"Who are you so mad at?" Mitch asked without even thinking.

"Myself," Freya answered, as if it were simple. She leaned back on her hands and flinched at the pain. 

Mitch took her bandaged hands into his, rubbing over the spots already turning red. She really did a number this morning. Freya grimaced when he put too much pressure on one spot, and he immediately let go. "Quit being so pissed off at yourself then," he snarked, as if she actually even could help it. "Seriously. You're going to break your fucking hand one day, princess."

She smiled and simply responded, "Oh, fuck you. And it's Freya."

Chapter Text

Four months ago...

The building was hardly somewhere to stay for an extended amount of time, but it was safe enough to leave someone with AJ and let him play. Due to her injured ankle, it was unanimous for Freya to stay behind with him. The blonde limped around, trying to keep up with him, trying to entertain him and love him as he should be. Ever since she found them again, she tried her best to treat them all right. She hoped she was doing it well.

"Freya, look at this!" AJ called, hands in the air. He did a rudimentary cartwheel, more a rough tumble than an actual cartwheel. But Freya clapped nonetheless, a smile on her face as she praised him. It was easy to forget how little he was sometimes. Far, far too easy. He did a few more before stopping and looking at her. "Freya, what happened to your family?"

It was a question he hadn't asked her before. He asked Clementine, Duck, even Sarah, but he never asked Freya. She plastered a smile onto her lips, hoping to block out the images that pried into her mind. "My family is here. You, Clem, Duck, Sarah, and the newfound Gabe. Why do you ask?"

"No. Your family before now."

Freya swallowed, and she picked him up to sit him next to her. "Well, AJ, my family from before is gone. I never found out what happened to my dad, only that he never came home."

"What was his name?"

What was his name? She could scarcely remember anymore. "Jim," she settled for, knowing it was wrong. "My mom was home with us. I had three brothers and sisters-"

"Wow, really?" AJ's eyes lit up.

Freya nodded. "An older brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister. My mom stayed home to take care of us, and my dad was a big time lawyer so she could easily."

"What's a lawyer?"

"Someone from before. When laws were broken, a report would be filed, and charges would be pressed. A lawyer had to either prove or disprove the person did it. My dad specialized in disproving. A criminal defense lawyer." The words from so long ago, the way things were settled so long ago... "Mom died, and so did my little brother and little sister."

AJ frowned, "And your big brother?"

Freya swallowed and tried her best to make it sound like the truth. "He ran away. I s'pose he's dead now too."

"Is that why we're family? Because all of our ones from before are dead? Like our parents and stuff?"

She shook her head. "No, no. We're family because we care about each other. We help each other to survive." Freya gestured to her ankle. "When we get hurt, we heal them so they can stay alive. So we can stay together. That's why we're family."

Freya smiled as Tenn showed her the art project he and AJ had been working on. It was a peaceful day, and she was relieved of hunting and perimeter duties for the sake of watching the kids for the day. She leaned back and took a deep breath. enjoying the feel of the sun on her face. Sarah was talking to Ruby near the dorms, the two taking inventory on the medical supplies they now shared and even some knowledge from Sarah's little notebook.

It was a good day. Her hand was still healing, bleeding ever so slightly, and Mitch was carving a knife next to her. But Sarah was awake, Gabriel was doing well and making friends, AJ was being a kid among other kids, and the people of Ericson were happy. "This is relaxing," Freya breathed out.

Mitch snorted. "Don't say that. You'll jinx it."

"And Gabe calls me a pessimist." Mitch rolled his eyes while Freya smiled. She was enjoying his presence, especially since yesterday when he tried to stop her from hurting herself, and the conversation afterward that didn't end until long after everyone had gone to bed. Freya leaned against his shoulder and watched his hands move. She said, "You're having a hard time because you're gripping it wrong. Bring your hand lower."

"Shut up," he bitched, but she saw his hand move lower.

"FREYA!" The blonde jumped to her feet when she heard Sarah shout from the door to the dorms. "It's Duck!"

Freya crossed the yard faster than before and rushed past Sarah into the dorms. She could hear Ruby struggling to force him down, muttering brief curses in her accent, while Duck was clearly struggling between his wounds and not moving for the last five days. Clementine would need to wake up soon-

Not the time. She entered the room and found Duck pulling against Ruby with a pained grimace. A bit of blood dropped from his back, and she heard Sarah and Mitch enter the room behind her, Marlon panting as he came down the hall. "Stop before you tear your back up again!" Ruby pleaded, holding his arm that held his rifle close.

Freya took a deep breath and shouted, "Kenneth Junior!" 

Duck stopped his movements and looked for the source of the voice. Freya stepped forward, hands on her hips, and said, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Freya," he breathed, "what- where are we? Where is Clementine, Sarah, Gabe- AJ?"

Freya took his rifle from his hands, receiving little to no resistance as Ruby backed off. She snapped her fingers at the bed, and Duck followed her unspoken instructions and lied down on his stomach. Freya nodded to Ruby and to Sarah, and the two began working on him immediately. "Freya?" he asked, fear entering his gaze.

She sat down next to him, gesturing for Mitch and Marlon to do the same. Freya took Duck's hand. "Do you remember what happened?" He nodded. "Okay. That's good. Getting you out of the wreck meant we got a lot of glass in your back, and your body is still healing the deeper wounds. You have to take it easy the next few days, okay?"

"Where are we?" Duck asked again.

Freya gestured to the two males beside her, then to Ruby. "We were saved by a group. This place was a school before the world went to shit, and the kids who were here never left. It's safe, Ducky." She stopped when she saw tears in his eyes before he closed them and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if it was pain or the sole idea they were safe by even Freya's standards. "Sarah was here when you woke up. I think you scared her when you grabbed the gun... AJ is outside playing with his new friends, and Gabe is out hunting for dinner tonight."

"Clementine?" he asked, opening his eyes again.

"She's still out. She should be fine." Duck moved his arms to lift himself up, and Freya took the hand still holding his and pulled it toward her. "Not now. Let Ruby and Sarah finish, and we'll walk you to her. For now, meet two of our new friends, Marlon and Mitch."

The two grinned at him, and Duck offered up a smile before he felt the cloth on Freya's hands. He looked down at the red peeking through and asked her with his eyes. "I... I took my anger out again," Freya admitted. Duck reached for her neck and brought her closer, kissing her cheek, and Freya couldn't stop the blossom of warmth in her chest. She blinked back tears.

Marlon asked, "So how are ya feeling, man?"

"Shitty," Duck admitted, letting Freya go. "But at least Freya is here. Don't know what I'd do without her."

"What you do every time I'm not around to babysit you," Freya retorted, looking up when Ruby and Sarah started walking out to check on Clementine. Duck started to sit up, and Freya reached to grab his arm before Mitch and Marlon were there, lifting him up as comfortably as possible. Freya grabbed a shirt laid out for him and tossed it his way.

Duck slipped it on with a groan. "Fuck," he cursed, "car wrecks fucking suck."

"No shit," Mitch tried with a laugh, but his natural ability to just be a dick got in the way and made it come out snarky. Freya rolled her eyes when Duck blinked at him, clearly off guard. Mitch gritted his teeth and stood up, ready to walk out. Freya caught his arm, but he shook her off and disappeared.

The injured male asked, "Did I do something?"

"No," Marlon answered, "that's how Mitch usually is."

"Oh. Okay."

Freya took a deep breath and helped him up, giving him someone to lean on should he need the anchor. He hissed between his teeth, grasping Freya's arm and squeezing. "Take your time," Marlon said vocally while Freya remained still and let him do as he needed to move. "I'll show him around, introduce him to a few others. You should check on Clementine."

She heard what he wasn't willing to say. Duck had been risky enough, taking five days to wake up, and Clementine was the worst of the group. It was time to talk about what would happen if... If... Freya wondered for a moment if he knew she didn't have it in her to even think about that option. "Sure thing," she said anyway, taking Duck's hand again. "Leave the gun. There are walls. You are safe."

He hesitated. "If you say so, Frey." She kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

Ruby was leaving the room as Freya came close, and the two watched Duck and Marlon go down the hall. "Sarah's in the bathroom," Ruby whispered, "so we should have this conversation about when to pull the plug on Clementine. I know she's your friend, but she just won't wake up."

Freya sucked in a deep breath. "As long as we can wait, we wait," she answered. She wasn't ready, not for this goodbye. Clementine meant so much to her, almost too much, and she couldn't imagine surviving in a world where she didn't have the black girl by her side always. What would she tell Duck? Gabe? AJ? "I- no one is ready for this. Especially not me or AJ."

"But when?"

Freya bit her lip and looked away. It wouldn't be the first time she was tasked with waiting for someone to wake up. That person hadn't, and she killed when the order was given. Was it a boy? Or was it a girl? Didn't matter now. Not when the primary difference was clear as day: Clementine.

She squared her shoulders and looked straight ahead. "I'll... I'll do it myself, should it come to that. You'll know." Ruby nodded and let Freya go. She went to the library in the admin building and found a dark corner that allowed her to be unseen by those who entered. She put her head in her arms and allowed the tears to roll down silently, even as her entire body shook.

"Thought I told you not to come here." She looked up to find Luke next to her, frowning upon her crouched form, the knife and the rabbits in hand again. He was displeased with her, for whatever reason, but Freya couldn't bring herself to care as much as she might have if she didn't have heavy thoughts on her mind. 

She began skinning again and said, "Well, are you going to sit down or not?"

Luke hesitated before sitting down as he always did, that unpleasant frown still on his face. "Freya, you can't be here whenever you please. You gotta know that, don't ya?"

"I may have to kill Clementine." Luke froze, and Freya barreled forward. "She won't wake up, and we're not just out on the road anymore. We have people here who don't know her, who don't know that she can pull through just about anything. And if she can't pull through this, then people can get hurt-"

"But how do you feel, Frey?"

The question was soft, gentle, almost so much it could have driven Freya insane. She ducked her head. "I-I don't know." He didn't say a word, waiting for her. "I think- I think that if I- if I even could- kill her I mean- I can't- can't just- how would I live with- how can I face- what do I say-"

"Don't worry about them. I'm asking about you," Luke reminded her.

"Lost," Freya blurted, "like I know what I have to do but I don't know when or how or anything. I know what I'm good at, but I know how wrong it is. I know I'm not meant for this sort of life, it's not my calling made by someone with far greater power than I, and Stars above help me please."

They sat in silence for a time, even as the clouds began rolling in. Luke looked up and said, "First time it's rained here. Sorry about that, Frey."

The tears were slipping down her cheeks before she knew it. This was her fate, the fate she had to give in to, the fate she was assigned and denied far too often. She was a murderer. She was a monster. She didn't deserve the people around her. She-

"Stop that," Luke scowled. "Ain't gonna be no help to Clementine or the others if you beat yourself down. Ya just gotta wait, just gotta be patient. I ain't seen Clem yet, so she can't be dead."

"You're just a figment of my imagination. The fuck do you know?" Freya spat, putting her head in her hands. "I can't do this."

"Freya... Freya... Freya..."

"Freya!"

She jerked awake, drawing her machete close to the neck of the one touching her. She took in his dark skin, the shape of his eyes, the tilt of his lips, and then she recognized Louis. "Sorry," Freya muttered, letting herself unwind as she saw Aasim next to him as well. "What's up?"

"Are you okay?" Aasim asked, and Freya looked down when something wet fell. Damn it. She brushed the tears away. "Was it a nightmare? We're here for you, Freya."

She stood up and looked to the world outside. How dark and dangerous it was. "No. No, I'm fine. I just..." Need to stop trying so hard. Freya brushed her face as well as she could, hoping it was dry and any of signs would disappear soon enough. Hopefully before she saw Duck again and caused a scene where he freaked out over her health.

Freya had barely exited the library before she saw Marlon, and he gestured for her to follow him. Freya looked around and heard laughter from the piano room, listening carefully for Duck's and AJ's voices before following Marlon up the stairs and into the office. He closed the door behind her and said, "Brody thinks someone was trying to follow her and Violet back today. They went fishing, and she thinks she lost them close to the edge of the safe zone when walkers came."

"I'll need to see it on a map," Freya responded, taking the map he had given her from her pocket and putting it on the table. Marlon took it in hand and showed her the area, large and spacious, enough to take a day to comb through thoroughly. "It's doubtful whoever followed them will stay where she thinks she lost them but instead go back to the cabin. I'll start going tomorrow and deal with the situation from there. Anything else?"

Marlon was quiet. He took a deep breath and asked, "What will do with who you find, Freya?"

Freya hesitated, deciding how brutal she had to be. "We can't just let them roam around, Marlon." He looked away. "What do you want me to do, Marlon? I can knock them out, bring them here, or I can kill them quickly and quietly. But we have to do what is best for everyone, not just us."

"I've never killed anyone." Freya watched him look away from her, avoid her gaze, guiltily take a seat. "I mean, sure, the kids who were infected. But a person who wasn't already going to die-"

"It's different." Freya knelt before him and took a hand in her own. "The first life I took was when I was thirteen. We were escaping a tyrant, brought in walkers to help us get out easier, but one of the guards wouldn't take the hint. He tried to stop us, tried to stop me specifically. He would have killed me before he allowed me to leave. So I took my knife and I stabbed him in his leg."

Marlon was watching her carefully, was gauging what she said and what she did, how she spoke, looked for the lie or the regret that should have flashed through my body. He never found it. Freya continued, "It didn't kill him immediately. He cursed, let me go, and I latched onto Clementine and Sarah, turning their backs to him as I walked further into the group. He took my knife out and threw it on the ground... then bled out right in front of us. Carlos told me it was luck. I hit the femoral artery in my panic, or he did it. I watched his anger morph into fear then despair... and was thankful Sarah and Clem didn't."

His breath was shaky, like he wanted to cry as he closed his eyes. "If you weren't looking to me, what would you do?"

"I'd kill whoever it is," Freya replied softly, and his grip on her hand tightened.

He had to live with the knowledge of what she would do, and his eyes shone when he looked at her again. "Will you make it quick?" Freya nodded wordlessly. "Then do what you have to."

She stood again and turned from him to look at the office again. "You should cut your hair," Marlon stated, standing up and gently pulling on a few strands. 

Freya looked at his hideous hairstyle and said, "So should you." His mouth dropped. "It's ugly. Have people been lying to you?"

"Oh fuck you," Marlon growled back.

Freya laughed as he suddenly tried to be threatening with her. She reached up grabbed the tufts of hair. "Maybe a real hairdresser could find a way to spruce it up, but this is just horrible. You'd be better with a buzz cut or just a mohawk. Mullets are not for everyone," she stated, and he almost seemed to be pouting at her critique. "We'll cut our hair together tomorrow. This shit is getting too heavy."

"Hate you," he muttered, but she saw a smile prick at his lips before he frowned again. "Is it really bad?"

"Marlon, don't worry about me lying to you about this. It looks like shit."

As dinner came to an end and people began going to bed, including, for once, Louis, Freya sat around the fire with Duck, Mitch, and Violet. Duck rested his head in her lap, nearly asleep as she ran her fingers through his dark hair, and she leaned her head on Mitch's shoulder while he continued sharpening a new knife. Violet read in the firelight.

It was nice, Freya thought, as she sat with the group in peace. Duck probably should have gone to bed, and so should she, but it was comfortable to be there, peaceful, and absolutely worth whatever cricks she would get in the morning. Violet closed the book and asked, "Freya, what did Ruby say about Clementine?"

Duck's eyes lazily opened, and Freya bit her lips, burrowing herself further into Mitch's shoulder. He grunted, adjusting so his grip was still effective. "Ruby said if Clem doesn't wake soon, we'll have to... kill her," Freya muttered.

Duck snapped up. "What?" he growled, baring his teeth. 

"You heard me," Freya said, grabbing his shoulder and trying to force him to lay down again. He refused to move. "Duck, if she doesn't wake up then she's going to die anyway. We don't live in the old world."

She tried to be gentle, but he was too attached to Clem for her to play gentle. "We can't just fucking kill her," he argued.

Mitch slid his arm around Freya, clearly not favoring how Duck was reacting. Freya pushed his arm so she had free range of movement, even if it didn't look like it. Duck wouldn't hurt her anyway. "Duck, it is not what I want to do. How do you think I feel?" He opened his mouth to respond, but Freya continued, "I've protected you and Clementine since the beginning. When you came in, covered in blood, and Larry tried to throw you out. When Clementine was grabbed by the walker during our escape from the pharmacy. It isn't as simple as that."

"Make it simple!"

"Duck-" Mitch started.

"Kenneth," Duck snapped, "to you." 

Mitch's gaze hardened, and Freya spoke again before it escalated further. "We are doing our best here, and it might not be good enough. I promise it is a last resort, Duck, and if she wakes up then we won't have to worry." His gaze stayed hard, eyes staring at Freya that she didn't quite recognize. "If I could make this better, I would."

He laid his head back down. "I can't do it without Clem, Frey. Anymore than I could without you," Duck whispered. "I can't be separated from either of you again. Can't not know if you're okay... I'll die, Frey, before we have to be apart again."

"No, you won't," Freya whispered back. 

He shifted. "I need you to care for them when I can't," Freya told him. Duck grunted. She knew it was the best she would get after the conversation they just had. So she put her head back on Mitch's shoulder and stared into the flames that warmed the night.

Chapter Text

Eight years ago...

"Hey, kid."

Her head lifted up, and she found a man looking down at her. He was different from the people she saw on either side of her family, but he appeared kind. Her gaze dropped tot he bodies behind him, her mom and her uncle. Were they really... "Don't look at them, kid. Look at me. My name is Glenn. What's yours?"

"Katarina," she answered, "but my uncle- he called me Freya."

"Okay, Freya. I'm going to get you out of here, okay? Let's get some of your things, and I'll get you out of here." He took her arms and lifted her up, nervously glancing around them. "Was anyone else in the house, Freya?"

"My siblings. Dmitri and Ana are in their rooms. Peter- I didn't see where Peter went!" Peter, her older brother, he had to know what to do. He had to know how to get everything they would need for Dmitri and Ana. He always had the answers, even for things he shouldn't have, so he had to know, he had to know what to do.

Glenn walked behind her as she led him to the kids' room. "Stay here, okay? No matter what you hear," he stated, looking down at her. Freya nodded as he walked inside. She was sleeping when her mother became- that- and she hoped... oh, she hoped they were okay.

Freya looked around the corner as soon as she heard a growl and witnessed her half eaten brother try to rise to his feet.

Freya woke up just before dawn and made her way outside. Mitch rubbed his eyes before following her to the lookout post. "You know, you don't have to come with me every morning," Freya stated, relieving Louis. He grinned sleepily before going towards the dorms.

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing, princess," Mitch replied, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. "Duck still upset with me after last night?"

Her mind flashed with his face when she told him Clem might have to die. "He'll get over it," Freya told him, leaning on the top of the wall and looking out over the forest. Walkers had gathered around again, and she knew she would have to go out and a do a quick sweep before the fishing and hunting parties left. "I'm going to be the one he hates at first. He might even like you more if it has to happen."

Mitch quietly asked, "You sure you can handle it?"

No. She couldn't.

"Yeah."

Silence descended between the two of them before Freya rubbed at her eyes. "Oh, now you're tired? After waking up at the ass crack of dawn every fucking day?" Mitch taunted, trying to come off as joking.

"Better than your dumbass. I tell you to go back to sleep, and you respond by bitching all day about never getting enough sleep." She laughed when he pulled a face. "You know another time you could be sleeping, Mitch? When you stay up making knives all night."

"And leave you alone, princess? You'd be lonely and scared."

Freya pushed his shoulder, failing to come up with a witty comeback better than "fuck you" in enough time. Mitch laughed, low and deep, and Freya marveled at how long it had been since she heard a sound like that. Javier, perhaps? Duck's voice was a bit higher, so it must have been Javier, down in Richmond. Funny, since that was a sound she heard regularly once upon a time. Especially with the Serpents.

They were quiet again, and Freya looked down when she heard the door to the admin building open and close, Marlon stepping out with Brody beside him. "I'll be fishing today," she informed Mitch, "so I might be leaving shift early. I have to say, it was a good idea for Marlon to put me on this lookout shift instead of letting me beat the bag."

"Just looking out for you." Mitch bumped her shoulder and asked, "Need help with them? It'll be safer for a princess like you."

It was nice, having Mitch beside her. In the time she was waiting for her family to wake up, he had become a companion she found comforting, and he became her friend. He had a tendency to sound like a dick, to even act like a dick, but it was easy to look past that after a time. Though he could let up on the "princess" bullshit. He often sounded meaner than he meant to.

"Oh, fuck you," Freya responded, climbing down the ladder as she  saw the two begin walking towards the tower. She waited a few moments before they approached. "Good morning."

Marlon said, "So, Brody, Freya will come with you today in case something happens." Brody nodded, peering out past the gate for a threat. Marlon bit his lip, looking every bit the fearful kid he should have been. Freya caught his hand and squeezed it, offering what little comfort she could, and looked out the gate as well. "Let's start clearing the gate opening out."

It was a matter of minutes before Freya was on her way to the river with Brody and Violet on either side of her. She kept her senses alert for any sound out of the ordinary, coming back with a rabbit and a squirrel for it. Violet grinned at the prospect of such a good meal and said, "You are a blessing, Freya, you know that?"

"Sure I am," Freya responded sarcastically, carrying the two animals on her shoulder. "And you're the tooth fairy, Violet. And straight."

Violet laughed while Brody said, "Aww, don't be so harsh on yourself, Frey. You've been a big help to us since you arrived, really. Even if a bulk of it is making Mitch nicer."

"He's not so bad," Freya giggled, "once you get used to him. He doesn't always mean to be a dick, but it's how he comes off."

"I gotta ask," Violet declared, walking backwards to talk to Freya. "Are you dating?"

She nearly choked on the air as it entered her lungs, turning into a coughing laugh. "No. No, Mitch is just my friend who also happens to be a male. Why do you ask, Vi?"

The blonde smirked and looked forward again. "No reason... None at all, Freya." 

Freya rolled her eyes as Brody giggled. "Alright, tell me who has money on it." Neither one said anything but were smirking. She put a hand on her hip as she walked. "Oh, fine, don't tell me. But it's worth mentioning that my feelings towards Mitch are platonic, just like they are towards Duck and Gabe."

"Sure, sure," Brody said, wrapping an arm over Freya's shoulder with another laugh. "But, onto more important topics, since you were out there, where did you go? Like, what did you see?"

"Well, I saw the Lincoln Memorial once. Long time ago, didn't get to stay long, but it was pretty cool. The White House was mostly burned by the time I made it there. I think the beach was the prettiest." Even if what she did wasn't the prettiest. Freya could still see where the blood of four Whispers and three Saviors painted the grass just off the sand. Executions she carried out under her CO's orders. Freya shook her head and the frown from her lips. "I should go again. Make better memories."

"We should all go!" Brody said, her voice gaining volume as she got excited.

Freya chuckled and opened her mouth to reply when Violet said, "Yeah, sure, let's go to a beach. No idea how we'll get there since we don't have a car or horses or a boat or anything else for transportation."

"Don't be mean. We can walk," Freya stated. "I walked to the beach."

Brody grinned at Freya, and Violet rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of something in her eyes. She wanted to believe it was possible to go to the beach. Freya smiled and looked into the sky. "We should go. Take Ruby, Sarah, Clem, and go to the beach. Leave the boys to run the place temporarily," she suggested aloud. "I could probably find a car if it means that much to you, Violet."

"Ahh... a beach trip," Brody sighed dreamily. 

Freya smiled as Violet silently considered, silently daydreamed about it, before they reached the cabin. Her senses were on alert again, flicking over the trees and the brush, peering casually into the dark corners and nooks. No one yet. Perhaps they would be safe.

Perhaps.

Light streamed on Clementine's face as she inhaled sharply. Her eyes opened, and she turned from the lights again. "What the hell?" Clementine muttered, tugging at her wrist that was tied to the bedframe.

Bedframe?

It was a bunk bed, though the bunk above her was empty of even a mattress. Across the room, there was another bunk bed, with a blanket tucked into the mattress, like someone made the bed. Clementine sat up, untied her hand, and grabbed her hat off the table next to her. At least she had that.

Where was her bag? Where was she? Where was everyone else? The last thing she remembered was the station. "Think, Clementine," she muttered, her cheeks heating up as she remembered what happened once they arrived. The station, her and Gabe... AJ, Freya, and Duck went to check out the station. Freya said she left AJ and Duck to look for supplies. Then the explosion. The influx of walkers. Freya holding them back while Sarah kept the car ready. Getting her people in. Freya announcing she was closing the back. The walker through the windshield.

The walker through the windshield. The car crashed.

Oh God, where was everyone?

Clementine looked up when the door opened, and Sarah walked inside. "Sarah," Clementine breathed out, standing and wrapping her arms around her. "Thank goodness."

"Clementine!" Sarah gasped, hugging her tighter. Clementine felt her lungs constrict, but it was too good to stop. "We were so worried. You've been out for so long- we were unsure if you were gonna wake up!"

"Well I did," Clementine said, choosing not to think about what exactly that meant. Clementine drew back. "Where is everyone?"

Sarah replied, "You just missed Gabe. He left with the hunting party, and Freya left this morning to go fishing. AJ is playing with Tenn and Willy out in the front. I think Duck is on watch, or he's in the admin building with Louis. Ruby and I have been checking on you every so often."

"Ruby? Louis?" Hunting party? Fishing? What the hell had she missed.

"We're safe, Clem. Even Freya says so!" Freya might say so to them, but she could be lying... Not that Clem would know until they were speaking face to face. "C'mon, you gotta meet everyone."

Clementine walked beside Sarah as they passed other rooms in the halls and went outside. It looked to be a hotel or something before everything happened, with strong walls, a gate, and a flag pole in the middle. "This used to be a school for 'troubled youth' before. All of the kids stayed here, and they've been here since the beginning. It's really hard to find, there are people, and I'm trying to convince them to clear out the green house and board it up so we can use it again," Sarah said happily, and Clem smiled.

She looked all over for AJ first. "You said AJ was outside?"

"Yeah, I thought he still was... Tenn is on watch, and Willy is probably off somewhere with Mitch now. Let's check the admin building." Sarah's eyes widened, and she lifted a hand. "Marlon!"

His hair was hideous, but Clementine tried not to focus on it. "You must be Clementine. Glad to see you awake. Freya will be happy," he said, a smile on his face. Clementine tried to smile back. "You do it too. The little fake smile that's meant to be polite but is really out of obligation. Freya and Duck do it."

"Uh, thanks?" What the hell is the proper response to that?

"C'mon. AJ should be inside, and Duck is upstairs too. Sarah, Ruby said something about checking the supplies for-"

"Oh, yeah! I'll get right on it," Sarah said, eager to help, and Clementine watched her bounce off happily. 

It looked safe. The walls were sturdy, but they were open to human attack. If it was as hard to find as Sarah said, there were few worries, but it was always better to be safe than sorry. "We try not to worry Freya about it, but AJ doesn't do well when she and Gabe aren't here," Marlon stated. 

"What do you mean?" Clementine asked, more than a little alarmed.

"Nothing bad! Just that he's a handful." Marlon's attempt to calm Clementine's nerves was useless. He let out a disarming chuckle and asked, "Do you have any questions?"

"Is everyone okay?" 

Marlon nodded. "Far as I know. Our hunting party is pretty good, and Gabe has proven himself to be amazing at hunting. Freya is helping with the fishing today, but she should be back later today, probably before the hunting party. Duck is upset he's stuck here, but he's still healing from the glass."

That was good. Clementine felt her chest release in relief. As long as everyone was okay, it would be fine. It would be good even. Clementine just needed to see them for herself, and that would make it even better.

Marlon opened the door and let Clementine in first. "Follow the music. I need to look at something real quick," Marlon told her, and the sound of a piano instantly filled her ears. 

She had barely walked down the hallway before there was a loud cursing. Clementine stopped immediately, blinking owlishly as a stout redhead approached her. "There you are! Get that boy under control. He just bit me!"

Bit her? That didn't sound like AJ, except for when- "Did you sneak up on him?"

"No! Ugh, whatever! I'm going outside."

She stalked past her, and Clementine sighed. She walked into the room where AJ stood, head tilted as someone played music on his piano. Clementine leaned against the door, watching AJ enjoy the music for a time longer. He looked like a kid. He was never allowed to be a kid before...

The music stopped. He looked towards her, and Clementine felt like a deer in headlights. He was gorgeous, beautiful, warm... welcoming. "Hey there," he said, and AJ turned around.

"Clem!"

She met him halfway, wrapping him in her arms as she heard footsteps behind her. "Clementine!" Duck shouted, kneeling on the ground with them and joined in the group hug. "You're awake! Freya really had me worrying about what would happen."

Clementine could have stayed there forever, holding onto AJ and Duck. Her family through everything right here, with a single exception. Regardless of the fact Freya wasn't there, it was still warm, and it brought back memories of Lee, of her parents in their living room, of being a kid when she was allowed to be one.

"AJ!" A younger boy appeared in the hallway, gesturing to the boy in Clementine's arms. "Come on!"

His big brown eyes looked up at Clementine, torn between the two of them. Clem chuckled and said, "Go play." AJ lit up like a Christmas tree and ran off. Clementine stood up and looked at Duck, ruffling his hair. He grinned goofily, looking every bit the kid she knew back at the beginning, before his name was called as well and he left the room.

The black male gestured to her bag and said, "AJ's been carrying your things everywhere. When he remembers, at least."

Clementine knelt down and looked to check for everything. He wasn't carrying his gun, a testament to how safe it was or wanting Clem's express permission. She sighed and lifted it over her shoulders. "Clementine, Clementine, I have heard quite a bit about you," he said, his fingers on the keys. "Name's Louis."

"Nice to meet you, Louis."

It was a long time before Freya could feel the eyes on the three of them. She played normal, pretended nothing was wrong, but made sure to bump Brody when she passed, nodding her head in affirmation. The brunette's eyes lit up in fear for a second before she covered it up and began talking about the beach again, pissing Violet off and making her snap. Freya waited until they were a little ways off and checked again.

Still there.

Freya whistled and said to her companions, "I'll be back. I forgot something at the cabin." Brody looked away, knowing what she really meant, but Violet continued walking forward without so much as a second glance. She waited until the stalker was no longer paying attention to her and turned. Freya walked a circle around the stalker, keeping low to the ground and quiet in the forest.

She drew her machete and held it against the throat of the stalker. "Best be careful. Wouldn't want an accident," Freya muttered, her eyes on Violet and Brody. "You say a word, and I'll be forced to kill you immediately. You move to get their attention, and I'll just outright kill you then too."

The struggling stopped. Soon they were out of sight as Freya began dragging her captive backwards and to the stream. The gurgling of water became clear in her ears, the late afternoon bounced off the surface of the water, and Freya threw the figure forward. It wasn't the one she found with Mitch, but she was maybe Clementine's age.

"Fuck you," she spat.

"That's not nice," Freya commented, holding her machete out towards her, keeping her pinned to the ground. "And there's no need for the hostility. After all, we should be able to have a decent conversation... don't you think?"

"You think you're a badass, that you answer to no one, but everyone has to answer to someone."

Freya rolled her eyes and knelt down. "You're right. I answer to Death." The more melodramatic she was, the better she would scare the shit out of this kid. She pressed her blade against the girl's chest. "Do you want me to answer now?"

A glob of spit hit Freya's eyes. "Right." She grabbed the girl's hair and dragged her to the water as she screamed and kicked. Freya held her above the water. "Tell me who is in charge." When she didn't answer instantly, Freya dunked her head into the water and forced her under. She pulled her back out and asked again.

The pattern repeated. "Delt-Delta!" she gasped after her fourth dunk.

The same one as the boy. "What do you want with us?" Freya asked.

"Soldier- we need soldiers!"

"So an alliance?" Freya asked for clarification.

She shook her head, wincing when Freya's grip tightened. "No! No! She wants to take you, show you how good the Delta is, and then you'll want to fight for us!" For us? Freya knew that sort of talk. She released the girl and stood up, letting loose a deep breath. 

Freya turned on her again. "You tell the Delta we're not fighting for them. The next scout I find, I will kill." For emphasis, Freya took her machete and drew a deep, long cut on her arm. "And you tell them this community is protected by-"

The ground rushed as she felt something hit the back of her head, and darkness blotted her vision until it swallowed her entirely.

He had been watching the scouts for a few days. They killed every walker they came across and stalked the people of the nearby community. He wasn't surprised when one of them had enough and dragged them back to the fishing brook. He was surprised when they succeeded in knocking her out.

"Good, we got her. Now let's get her to Lilly," the boy said, scarcely older than maybe thirteen. 

"Jesus, you couldn't have fucking done that sooner?"

He needed to get her out of there. He saw the Delta only a few times, but he knew what they did. He saved those girls yesterday, and maybe it was time to do it again for this girl.

He picked up a rock and attracted the attention of the handful of walkers nearby. They began walking in his direction, noisier at the prospect of food, and he led them into the clearing. It was easy to scare the two scouts off- upon figuring out they couldn't carry her fast enough, they left her to the dead's mercy, even as they stood in a circle around him.

It was easy to hide her. The dead differentiated by scent, and the dead animal hide he had been carrying around hid her just enough for him to distract them once more, to lead them away from her this time. He waited until they were long gone before approaching the girl knocked out.

He lifted her up and began the walk back to his camp. She shouldn't have been hurt too badly, but he was unsure of how to get her to her community. Tonight, she would be safe enough with him.

Chapter Text

A/N: Sorry this one took so long. I was excited for episode four, and then I played it and I've been making scenes about what would happen if I were sticking with the plot of the Final Season but... It's here now! Enjoy!

Six years ago...

"She's bit! Why are we even talking about this?"

"She said it was a dog, Rebecca."

"And we're supposed to just believe her?"

Freya rolled her eyes before leaving the comfort of the cabin, walking outside. "What's going on?" she asked, griping at them. "We should be eating, not- what the fuck?"

Her gaze landed on the child at their feet, and the boy next to her. His hair had grown since she last saw him, and his body was lankier, thinner. But not quite like her body, and her hair was tied into pigtails. "Freya?" Duck breathed in disbelief, and Clementine followed his gaze, just as surprised.

Freya looked at the bite mark on her arm. "Carlos!" she called, breaking between Luke and Rebecca to get to them. "Carlos, come out here already! It's okay, Clementine. We're going to get this looked at, get you patched up. You're with me again."

"You know them?" Alvin asked.

"I was with them in the beginning. Met them in a drugstore in Macon." Freya helped Clementine to her feet and wrapped an arm around Duck's waist. He looked like he was ready to fall out, to break down into tears. When Carlos came out and looked at Clem's arm, she kept a tight hold on Duck as he shook beneath her touch.

She wasn't listening until Carlos said, "Then we lock her up in the shed. If she has a fever in the morning, we'll know."

"What the- We are not doing that, Carlos," Freya objected immediately. "It doesn't matter what kind of bite it is. Look at her. She is filthy. Infection will set in, and she will have a fever anyway. One we might not be able to save her from."

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

Freya grabbed her arm and gently looked it over. It was at least a few hours old. Probably from the morning, early on. "Fever should've already set in if it's a walker bite. Since it hasn't, we'll keep her in my room. Check her again later tonight," she said, looking each adult in the eye. "If you have a problem, take it up with someone who cares. C'mon, Clem. Duck, you too."

As night fell and Freya didn't return, Marlon grew nervous. If something happened to her, it would be his fault. He told Freya to take care of the threat, he was the reason Freya knew about Sophie and Minnie, and he was the one who led the group. He should have been the one out there, not her.

He needed to stop being a coward- to stop being so afraid...

"Any sign of her?" Mitch called from below.

Marlon shook his head, even as the rest of the group grew more nervous, none more so than AJ. He was pacing beside the gate now, no longer listening to Willy or Tenn as they tried to convince him to play or to sit down with them both. The freshly awoken Clementine sat beside a shaking Sarah, but her gaze strayed to the gate often. Duck and Gabe were both prepared to leave the group, get out there, look for her, even if it was far too dark.

But she could handle it. She had to be able to.

Because Freya was so sure, so steady. She never faltered, never second guessed. Freya was everything he wished he could be.

Freya could survive out there, by herself, for one night. 

It was dark by the time her eyes opened. Her eyes fluttered before she kept them shut, forcing her breath to stay the same. She felt heat nearby, to her left, and wood beneath her. Some sort of cloth- denim it felt like- over her top half. Her head pounded, the source of it likely whatever knocked her out.

Freya didn't feel any other pain. No bites. Who dragged her out, and was she safe?

"I know you're awake." Her heart jumped, but Freya kept her eyes closed regardless. His voice was low, quiet, like someone... someone who had been alone a long time. "You don't need to be afraid of me. I saved you from the scouts. I just want to make sure you get back to your community."

"I can't trust that." Freya opened her eyes and sat up, blinking to adjust her sight to the firelight. She rubbed at her eyes until she saw the one responsible for saving her. He was around her age, brown hair falling gently over his face and to the nape of his neck. Her gaze fell to the skin over his hands, walker skin. "So... awful far from home, aren't you, Whisperer?"

He stiffened at the name, ducked his head, and Freya almost felt like an ass for mentioning it. But he retorted, "And aren't you awful far from home, Serpent?"

Freya swallowed and looked to the brand at her shoulder. Her jacket sleeve was cut, and her undershirt had been falling apart for ages. She scowled at it, wishing she had torn the skin off and let it scar over. That would be better than the brand. "I'm not with them anymore. So I'll assume you're not either," she stated, looking into the fire. "Thank you, by the way. I'd rather not be someone's soldier again, and I have no doubt that was what I would have been."

"That's why I saved you. I heard them."

She nodded and clutched the hilt of her machete, still strapped to her body. It made them a bigger threat than if they were trying to kill them then. "You must have heard me too. I'm assuming you're not a 'Delta' scout?" He shook his head. Freya felt her chest loosen ever so little. "Is it hard to break? The silence?"

"Yes."

"What's your name?"

He was quiet, then he said, "It's been a long time. Since I said it."

Freya turned a sad gaze to him. "You've been alone a long, long time, haven't you?" she asked, nearly as quiet. He nodded. "I was alone once too. When I was younger, the first group I was with, we were attacked by raiders. Walkers came, and our escape van wouldn't start. Someone had to distract them. So I ran off the RV, made a lot of racket, and got them away. The group survived a while longer. I was alone for a year, year and a half."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not that I was alone at least," Freya told him. "I almost forgot my name then too. Did forget my birth name- the one I was born with, that my parents gave me. Took me ages to remember it again. Do you still remember yours?"

He replied, "James."

"My boyfriend. If you see him, let him go. This isn't who he is, not anymore. Let him go. Let him leave. And if you do see him and you don't, tell him I loved him."

"James, huh?"

"His name is James."

Freya didn't want to know if it was him or not. She was better off clueless about it. "My name is Freya." He stiffened at the name, at the sheer notoriety of it. "I see you've heard of me. I'm sorry for whatever I did to you. Or to someone you loved. Don't remind me of who I was."

Silence fell, and the anger she felt rolling from him was enough to make her stand. "Thank you. For saving me. If you ever need anything, let me know. Okay, James?" Freya lifted her machete and looked around herself, trying to find a point she could recognize. 

"Sit down."

Freya froze and turned to face him. "It's dark. You'll only get lost- or hurt. You can leave when dawn breaks."

"You don't want me to stay. Whatever I did... it's unforgivable." His expression morphed into shock, and Freya looked away. "I know what I was. I wasn't human. I wasn't- wasn't in the right. I was dead, just walking and with enough sense to use a gun. I've hurt a lot of people. I know that. So I can leave now, and you can forget I was here."

He was silent again, that eerie way only Whisperers could be, even as she began walking away. She looked at her brand, gritted her teeth together, and swore to cut the skin off as soon as possible. There was no good that could come of it, not anymore. She was past it. Past them. Even if those ghosts forever looked over her shoulder.

"No." A hand was on her shoulder, and Freya jumped. Anger flickered again. "You're right. It's unforgivable. But I've hurt people too, done things that were unforgivable. Are unforgivable. Stay here, until I know you're safe to travel back to your group."

She looked down, but she knew there was no use arguing with him any further. James had valid points, all of them too good to simply ignore or pretend didn't exist. Freya followed him back to the small campsite, where he tended the fire as she took her seat once again. "I didn't recognize you at all," he commented after a brief silence.

"That's because Freya of legend carried a sawed off shotgun, two handguns, and a rifle."

"And a red machete." James nodded his head towards the weapon he mentioned. "Why is it the only thing you still carry around?"

Freya lifted it up, let the blade glint in the firelight. Looking so closely at it, acknowledging it once again, she felt that familiar pang of sadness in her chest. "It's... It has history. Someone gave it to me, just before he died, and I've carried it with me since. Serpents tried making me give it up."

"What changed their minds?"

"I killed two people with it."

Silence reigned, and then James let out a breath similar to a chuckle. "I suppose that would make anyone change their minds. I did notice they had a particular fascination with guns, at least against the living." Freya nodded, agreeing with him even if she never really thought about it before. "I had a toy I carried with me everywhere. It was small, could fit in my pocket. Sometimes, after I joined the Whisperers, it was the only way I could remember the time before. But one day I forgot all about it, and then it was... gone."

"Alpha knows how to keep her people in line," Freya said, attempting to offer some small consolation.

"So does the Sarge." His face flashed in her mind, and she bit her lip to keep from snarling.

Silence weighed on them again, and Freya took her time to scrutinize him. James, a former Whisperer, who saved her from becoming someone's soldier once again. He probably didn't know she had been a soldier in the first place. He lived out here in the woods, still wore the mask of those he left behind. He was changing, but the exile he forced himself into hadn't allowed him to finish changing completely.

Leaving the Whisperers, he had no one.

Leaving the Serpents, she had a group.

"What is it?" James asked.

"We're not different, are we?" Freya asked softly. "We have our regrets. Our transgressions. A past we aren't proud of covered in blood. Who knows how many people have died by our actions or our inactions? But here we are... in the middle of a forest, in the middle of fucking nowhere, trying to be better. Trying to distance ourselves from what we were."

James's jaw tightened, the fire flickered in his eyes.. "Clearly one of us is better at dealing with it than the other."

It was meant to be a jab. Freya held the machete in front of her again. "Only because I have people." His eyes cut to her again. "I left the Serpents, walked alone for two weeks. Counted the days. Refused to let them meld into one. I had a specific destination in mind. There were two boys I spared, and they said I was welcome at their communities. It was a three week trek. So I counted, didn't stop walking, gathered supplies where I could. But I heard something, something that brought me back to what I lost. I never thought I would be so happy to hear AJ cursing."

He never looked away from the fire, even as he mulled it over in the quiet following. "Is that truly what differentiates us?"

Freya nodded. She looked to him. "But I was ready to move on immediately. Serpents were so irrevocably alive, loud, boisterous, treated every night like the last. The Whisperers were the opposite. James." She waited until he was looking at her, only her, and not the flames. "It's okay if you're not ready. But if you ever need help, need a place to stay, to eat, or even to be weak for a few moments... know that you are safe wherever I am."

He was quiet, and his gaze slowly trailed back to the flame. "You should sleep, Freya."

A request, more than anything. He could stay awake however long was necessary. "Okay." Freya laid down again, and whispered, "Goodnight James."

James never answered.

Louis hated tension. He was a funny guy, someone who needed room to breathe, and the air bogged down with negativity was not his area. It made him antsy, jumpy, hyperactive, and... completely useless.

Because he was. He was useless in every way except for making people smile and cracking jokes at completely inappropriate times. The exact opposite of Freya, strong, relentless Freya, who could make something of nothing, who could lead a blind man through a walker infested maze and come out alive. 

Maybe that was why it was so discomforting. She was still outside somewhere, during the night, and after she had been fishing, let Violet and Brody go on ahead. Louis didn't know much about her past, but he knew enough to know if she so much as suspected someone was following, she would do something about it. Freya could handle weakness, but only when it couldn't be avoided.

"Is she back yet?" Marlon asked from below. Louis set the binoculars down and shook his head. It was strange that Marlon had come to trust her so quickly. It wasn't supposed to be- all of them had- but Marlon was superstitious about going outside the safe zone and of things that came in from outside the safe zone.

Clementine hadn't spoken a word to anyone once the sun set; AJ stood next to her, vigilant in his watch. It was like a flip switched when Clementine woke up, and now it was impossible to pry AJ away from her. She glanced back at the exchange, and Louis tried not to stare at her.

She was beautiful, from the glimpses he'd seen, and it was a noticeable difference with the others now that she was awake. They were truly at ease, truly able to be at home, and Louis was grateful for that. He really was. But now they were upset again because Freya was gone, and Louis was, once again, useless.

Useless. Fucking useless.

"We should be fucking out there!" Mitch growled, walking to the gate. He peered out into the night, and Louis could see what was happening already. He cared about Freya. Really cared about her. So now he was getting impatient.

Louis leaned down and said, "Mitch, man, it's too dangerous-"

"Bullshit. Freya would be out there for us. We should-"

Clementine's voice was sharper than a knife. "No." Mitch turned his gaze to her, eyes narrowing. "We go out there, start looking for Freya, and we will get lost out there. We wait here, wait for her to come find us again. Because she will."

"How do you know that? How do you know-"

This time it was AJ, and Louis stared at the little dude as he said, as mature as anyone around this camp, "Because she always does. Freya always finds her way back to us- back to her home." 

"I've lost Freya more often than I care to count. She'll come back," Clementine said quieter, keeping watch on the gate.

It was strange for James to know he had saved the woman who killed his boyfriend and then allowed her to stay the night at his camp. He harbored no ill will against her, and that felt like a crime somehow. Like he was messed up because he didn't hate her for the things she had done.

But standing next to her now, walking her back to her community, he couldn't find a reason to ever connect the two. The Freya of the Serpents seemed imposing, a cold blooded killer. Like someone who would let her hair stay matted, who would never sleep, who would only kill and kill and kill... but this Freya walked around with a watchful but appreciative eye. Her lips twitched at the sounds of birds singing, at the rustles in bushes, at the scutterings of squirrels. She seemed almost... normal.

"Trying to find her again?" Freya asked suddenly.

James didn't know if he should tell the truth. "Yes," he replied, his voice low on the off chance she might miss it. 

"You can't find her right now." Her gaze went to him then away very quickly. "I don't need her right now. So she's going to stay put up for now."

He swallowed and looked ahead again. "How do you do that? Keep her separate?"

"I remember who I'm going home to. AJ, Clementine. Duck and Sarah. Gabriel. S'pose the rest of Ericson's now too."

James tried to hide behind his denim jacket, having reclaimed it from her after last night. She giggles gently and adds, "But I love them far more than I care about myself. I could never have made it this far without them. Would have walked into a walker herd, let 'em take me."

"Would that be so bad?" Was she one of the people who differentiated the dead from the living? Who saw them as monsters with nothing inside? Soulless?

"Depends on what you believe," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "I believe something is left when we're turned. Our soul stays in our body, trapped, and we are aware of every person we bite, every organ we eat... every life we take."

He hadn't heard that one yet. "So you kill walkers because you want to... free them?"

"Yes." 

A simple answer, and a simple justification. He wondered where the idea came from for her. Was it something she just always believed? Or did someone teach it to her? They stopped when the gate came into view, a few figures keeping an eye out for her despite it being the literal break of dawn. Freya peered inside before turning to him, a question in her eyes as she offered her hand.

Would it really be so easy? To go into a group and work a way to get along with them? No, it couldn't be.

"Thank you, but no thanks."

Freya nodded her head, hand dropping back to her side. "If you need anything-"

"I will." He won't.

"Hope to see you again, James."

"Bye, Freya."

Freya walked to the gates, taking out walkers quietly. There were only a few, all of them docile despite the clearly living person at the very front of the gates. She jammed her knife through the back of one's head when she heard, "Freya!"

"AJ," she breathed, hearing the gates open and a few bodies flying out. The walkers were done for in almost no time at all, and Freya ran for the inside gates, past her friends. As soon as she was safe, she bent over her knees and let out a breath of relief. Safe. She was safe.

"Frey?"

She stopped, her entire heart beating too hard for a second. Freya turned to see Clementine, alive, healthy, awake-

"Clementine!" she sobbed breathlessly, taking her into her arms. The shorter girl wrapped her arms around Freya's waist, her face buried into Freya's neck, and she felt wet. She felt another pair of arms circle them, the scent of Duck filling her senses. Then Sarah, then AJ, and Gabe was the last. "Clem, you're awake. I was so scared-"

"You were scared?! You stayed out there last night- what the hell happened?"

A bit further away, she heard Mitch say, "Yeah, Freya. What the hell happened?"

Freya let her gaze meet Marlon's, and he immediately froze with the fear. "I need to talk to Marlon first," she whispered before planting a kiss on Clementine's forehead. "I'll catch you up later, but I have things that need ironing out. It'll be fine, Clem. Keep everyone together, like you always do."

"Freya-"

"Marlon, come on," Freya called, heading towards the admin building. She smiled at Mitch as she passed him by, then at Violet and Louis. Willy and Tenn ran up by her, and she high fived them both. Omar and Aasim watched from afar, relief evident. Brody and Ruby were all smiles. 

She closed the door behind her. "Delta wants soldiers. Last night, I was nearly taken." His blue eyes widened. "We need them to be prepared for that. Buddy system from here on out, three together, not two. And you have to tell the truth. If it comes out at the wrong time-"

"I know. I know, I just-" Marlon took a deep breath and turned away. She could feel the anger lining his shoulders, tensing his body. "You know, if you hadn't gone looking for trouble-"

"It would have come to our front door without a single warning!" Freya hissed. "Don't get mad at me because you are scared. Accept it, go out there, and tell the fucking truth."

He was silent for a minute. "Let's cut our hair first."

"Stalling won't help your case."

"No. But it will help my nerves." He gave her a pleading look, and Freya inhaled deeply. 

She held his hand. "Okay. Okay. Let's cut our hair first, and then we tell the truth."