Chapter Text
Changbin had always been… different. It was always considered strange how he was that little bit more empathetic towards others than the rest of his people. His mother saw it since he was a babe, always crying more than his siblings, always laughing louder and loving harder. It's not that Valiens didn't have emotions, it’s just they were never the forefront of their reasoning. They didn't do things for their emotions they did it for logic. This always upset Changbin which it shouldn't. Nothing should upset him so why? Why was he the one to get upset over that? Why was he the one to get upset at all? Why could he feel in the first place?
“Head in the stars again Changbin?” Questions Taeil as he enters Changbin’s study quarters. Changbin always liked when Taeil tutored him, he was wise and passionate about the subjects he taught. And today, Changbin’s favourite subject; Earth studies.
The Valiens had discovered Earth around 50 years ago and since have been observing their peculiar ways but never making contact for the fear of what they would do if Val was discovered. The amount of war and violence they have observed was enough to stay away.
“It's not all bad though,” Changbin says to Taeil.
“They are a passionate species, I've never seen emotions portrayed like that before” he recalls thinking back to the few human entertainment sources he had researched in his free time. This ‘Love’ that they all seemed to search for, fight for and even die for. Changbin wanted that. He had never felt such a longing for… anything before until he discovered this ‘Love’. He wanted to know everything about it. What actually was it? Why was it so imperative for these humans to have? How could he too have it?
“Emotions are a very dangerous thing Changbin,” Taeil warns “they can do good but they can also do so much evil.” Changbin sighs. He knows the warning is for his own good but he can’t help but wonder. Is it really only him who wants more than what life on this planet has in store? An arranged marriage to raise kids to be aloof to and what? Just be? That isn't life. Not to Changbin anyway. “Aren’t you ever just curious though? About how they actually feel? Why they do these things?” Taeil sighs, “Well, it would be interesting to study them up close, do some tests and investigations but it simply won't happen, we just have to live with that.” Changbin gives up. There's no point trying to convince anyone to agree with him. He just wanted to know what it was like to interact with these humans that dominated the planet Earth. Know what they were really like. He’d also like to know what a Pokemon was but that was just personal interest, it’s not like that would help in any scientific study that would benefit the Valien’s knowledge of Earth.
Ha… you're even lying to yourself now Changbin.
Changbin knew it concerned others whenever he expressed interest in meeting humans so he lied, said it was purely for research purposes, this curiosity of his.
“There’s just so many tests I’d love to run on them.” That was the first lie Changbin had ever told. Valiens don't lie, there’s no need to. When every action is done for the purpose of logic, emotions aren't even part of the equation, there is no reason to lie because emotions wouldn’t be affected. That's how Changbin knew he was different. He chose to lie in order to protect the (albeit not that strong) emotions of worry and dismay that would come with admitting what he really wanted in life.
~*~
“I presume the studying went well, Son?” Changbin’s Father asks whilst sat at the head of the dining table, Changbin sat next to him, across from his mother, his 2 sisters taking the seats further down the table. “Yes Father, Taeil says I'll be ready for the Earth studies exam soon. “Well, why would you need to do that exam? We have you planned to marry Eun of the Jung clan so the both of you can tend to that land together. The crop keeper exam is the one you should be aiming towards.” His mother protests.
Yes, Changbin knew of the marriage that inevitably awaits him, sealing him into his dull future of crop tending and food production. This engagement had been in place ever since Eun was born. Changbin had nothing against Eun. He just wanted… more.
“Yes but you agreed I could study one other topic along with crop keeping. Why shouldn't I take the exam? I may as well have it certified.” Changbin argued
“It just isn't logical son.” His Father stepped in.
Ah, yes, Changbin had almost forgotten that he could only do things for logic.
And suddenly, an idea.
“Well, Father. It wouldn't be logical to have spent all this time studying to have nothing to show for it. We can never be too certain what will happen in the future. The Jung clan could suddenly invest into the Earth Studies Reseach Lab and then there would be no logic in marrying a crop keeping qualified Valien into the family.”
Silence.
Changbin smirked, he knew he won that argument. But winning one argument won't let him fulfil his truest, deepest desires.
That night, Changbin dove deep into his research again, tapping into different Earth signals showing different things on the screen. Sports, reality shows and then suddenly,
“Alright so basically, me, Channie Hyung and Jeonginnie were on the bus on our way to Busan to visit Jeongin’s home for the holidays. And guess what we see outside? We see snow!” delightful laughs fill Changbin’s room. Changbin couldn’t look away from the human on the screen, even when they're smiling so bright it could blind him. “Ohh it's so cold, I actually love it.” deep voice invades Changbin’s ears; like it was the only thing he could focus on.
“Beautiful” He mutters even though he could not understand a thing this human was saying.
It was at that moment that Changbin got his first glimpse of what desire was. And he also discovered a piece of technology software imperative for human survival. “Youtube?”