Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

   Beatrice was eight when the attack happened.

    She had been walking home after missing the school bus. She had purposefully been late to avoid Caleb. He had scolded her earlier for not sharing a toy and she was sulking.

    There were three attackers, all men, and all Factionless. When they were done with her, they left her to die.

    She didn't. She clung to life desperately for hours, hoping that someone might find her. It was her father who finally did. He had grown concerned when enough time had passed for her to be able to make her own way home and she still hadn't arrived, so he set out on the path she would have taken home. He would have passed right by the alley way they had hidden her in of he hadn't heard her crying.

    He ran her to the nearest doctor and stayed with her throughout the procedure, giving her a transfusion of his own blood to keep her alive.

    The entire family was distraught for weeks. Andrew wanted to go to the Council and order them to allow the Dauntless to patrol the Factionless, but Beatrice begged him not to. She didn't want anyone to know what happened to her. So they kept it a secret. Only six people knew of the incident and, of those six, only four knew the whole truth: Beatrice, both of her parents, and the doctor who had saved her life. Caleb knew, but only because he lives in the same house. The only person Beatrice told was her best friend, Tobias.

    As the children of members of the Council, they often attended social events. Beatrice noticed Tobias always sticking to the outskirts and wanted to find out why. She was the only person that he couldn't scare away, even though she was two years younger than him. Beatrice started to spend the night at his house as often as possible, to keep his father at bay. She knew about all of his scars, so she thought it was only fair that he knew about hers, too.

    After Beatrice had healed, Natalie contacted an old friend in Dauntless. Twice a week, the mother and daughter disappeared to meet up with Natalie's friend, Anna, and Anna's son, Tyler, to train in self defense. Tyler and Beatrice became fast friends and she eventually told him, and his mother, her secret. The two Dauntless redoubled their efforts to help her learn how to defend herself.

    They moved their sessions to an abandoned warehouse that they built up over time. They added a punching bag, created an obstacle course, and set up a shooting range.

    The training had a major effect on Beatrice, or Bea as Tyler called her. She shed her remaining baby fat and replaced it with muscle. She became a master marksman, and learned how to take care of the weapons so that they could take care of her. On days that she didn't meet Tyler and Anna, she woke up extra early to run on her own and did whatever workout she could manage within the confines of her room.

    After a while, she even worked up the courage to sneak into Dauntless with Tyler and go dancing. They put her in black clothes and no one even noticed there was an Abnegation among them.

    Her parents taught her to embrace the faction that she was so obviously made for, while keeping up an Abnegation front so as to not draw attention to herself. Tobias eventually transferred to Dauntless, and the year after that Tyler got caught up in his own initiation.

    She had a year of being alone at school, but she survived, and now it was time for the Choosing.

Chapter Text

    There was only one mirror in my house, Abnegation rules. It was hidden behind a sliding panel in the upstairs hallway. Faction rules allowed me to stand in front of it on the second day of every third month, the day my mother cut my hair. I sat on my stool while me mother stood behind me, trimming. When she finished, she pulled my dull blonde hair back and twisted it up into a knot. I had to note how calm and focused she was. She was well practiced in the art of losing herself, as every good Abnegation was.

    I, however, was not. I snuck a look at myself while she wasn't paying attention. I wasn't being vain, but I was curious. A lot can change in three months. Unsurprisingly, not much had. My baby fat had long since faded away due to training that no other Abnegation girl received. Our sessions weren't against the law, but it wasn't commonplace so we never discussed them in public.

    My grey-blue eyes studied my own features. My thin face and angled nose weren't classically beautiful, but Anna always said I was gorgeous. I didn't really see it.

    My mother's eyes, green instead of blue, met mine in the mirror. If she'd been anyone else I would have been scolded for daring to look at myself, but she smiled.

    “Today's the big day,” she said.

    “Yes,” I replied, smiling back at her.

    “Are you nervous?”

    I contemplated the question. It was the day I would take the aptitude test and learn where I truly belonged.

    “A little, but I think I know what I'm going to get,” I said. “Or, at least, I know what I'm choosing regardless or the results.”

    She rested her chin on my shoulder for a moment and I almost started at the unexpected contact. “We're going to miss you.”

    I knew she wasn't just talking about me. Caleb, my brother, had made it obvious that Erudite called his name. Unsurprising, since it was our father's birth faction.

    “You don't think it makes me selfish?” I asked.

    “No,” she denied. “I think it makes you brave. Let's go eat breakfast.” She said the panel back over the mirror as she kissed me on my cheek.

    “Thank you for cutting my hair.”

    On those mornings, when Caleb made breakfast and my father's hand skimmed my hair as he read the news paper, and my mother hummed while we cleared the table, on those mornings was when I felt guiltiest about wanting to leave them. I wished both of my parents a good day before Caleb and I left for the bus.

    Everytime the bus hit a patch of uneven pavement it jostled me from side to side, even though I held on to the seat to keep myself still. Caleb stood in the aisle, holding a bar above his head to keep himself on his feet. We didn't look alike. He has my father's dark hair and hooked nose and my mother's green eyes and dimpled cheeks. When he was younger the collection of features looked odd, but he grew into it. It suited him. The girls at school would probably stare if he wasn't Abnegation.

    He also inherited my mother's talent for selflessness. He'd given his seat to a surly Candor man without a second thought. The man wore a black suit with a white tie, Candor's standard uniform and very different from the Abnegation grey I was used to. Cador valued honesty and saw the truth as black and white, so that was what they wore.

    The gaps between the buildings narrowed and the roads we're smoother as we reached the heart of the city. The building that was once called the Sears Tower (we called the Hub) emerged from the fog, a black pillar in the skyline.

    The bus passed under elevated tracks. Despite all of my time in Dauntless, I'd never been on a train, but that would change tomorrow. Dauntless initiates had to jump on to a moving train as part of the initiation process, but that was all Ty would tell me. He just kept repeating, “Never be afraid to jump.”

    Five years prior, volunteer construction workers from Abnegation repaired some of the roads. They started in the heart of the city and worked their way outwards until they ran out of materials. The roads where I lived we're still cracked and patchy, and it wasn't safe to drive on them. We didn't have a car anyway.

    Caleb's expression was placid as the bus swayed and jolted on the road. His grey robe fell from his arm and he clutched a pole for balance. I could see his eyes flashing at the people around us. He might not be Abnegation for much longer, but he was still trying to see them and not think of himself. Candor might value honesty, but Abnegation was all about selflessness. I stood next to him and lifted up onto my tiptoes to whisper into his ear.

    “Sit down before you hurt yourself. Your people watching will be easier from a seat.”

    He offered a semi-apologetic smile for his ways, but took the proffered seat regardless.

    “Thank you, Beatrice.”

    The bus stopped at the school and I scooted past the Candor man, grabbing Caleb's arm as he stumbled over the man's shoes, apologizing profusely.

    The Upper-Levels building is for the oldest of the three classes of students: Lower-Levels, Mid-Levels, and Upper-Levels. Like all of the buildings surrounding it, it was made of glass and steel. In front of it was a large metal sculpture that the Dauntless climbed after school, daring each other to go higher and higher. Last year I watched one of them fall and break their leg. I was the one who ran to get the nurse.

    “Aptitude Tests today,” I said. Caleb wasn't quite a year older than I was, so we were in the same year at school.

    He nodded as we passed through the front door. My muscles tensed as soon as we walked in. The atmosphere was hungry, like every sixteen-year-old was trying to devour as much as they could on their last day. It was likely that we would never walk the halls again after the Choosing Ceremony -- once we chose, our new factions would be responsible for finishing our education.

    Our classes were cut in half today so that we attended all of them before the Aptitude Test, which took place after lunch. I was nervous despite the fact that I already knew my choice.

    “You aren't at all worried what they'll tell you?” I asked Caleb.

    We paused at the split hallway where he would go one way, toward Advanced Math, and I would go the other, toward Advanced Anatomy.

    He raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

    I could have admitted that I was. I knew where I was going, but it would have been nice to know that I was actually making the right choice.

    Instead I smiled and said, “Not really.”

    He smiled back and some of my nerves evaporated. “Well… Have a nice day, Beatrice.”

    “Caleb,” I called as he walked away. He turned back to face me, confused. “I just… You have a nice day too.” No sense in making him worry.

    I walked away towards Anatomy, chewing on my lower lip when I realized that he never answered my question.

    The hallways were cramped, but the light coming through the windows created the illusion of space; they were one of the only places where the factions mixed, at our age. Today the crowd had a new kind of energy, a last day mania.

    A girl with long curly hair shouted “Hey!” next to my ear, waving at a distant friend. I ducked out of the way of her jacket sleeve only to be shoved from behind by an Erudite in a blue sweater. I nearly fell, but I caught myself on the wall.

    “Out of my way, Stiff,” he snapped, and continued down the hall. My temper flared and I longed to punch him in his exposed kidneys, but I'm pretty sure that everyone thought that the flush in my cheeks was from embarrassment. Stiffs didn't get angry.

    A few people stopped to watch, but none offered to help me. Their eyes followed me to the edge of the hallway. That sort of thing had been happening to others in my faction for months. The Erudite had been releasing antagonistic reports about Abnegation, and it had begun to affect the way we related at school. The grey clothes, the plain hairstyle, and the unassuming demeanor of my faction we're supposed to make it easier for us to forget ourselves, and easier for everyone else to forget us too. Instead, they were making us a target.

    I would have spoken to Tyler about it, but I hadn't seen him in a month. It might've been for the best though. He would have just told me to give anyone that gave me problems a broken rib or two for their trouble. Still, I missed him. It was the longest we'd gone without seeing each other since we'd met and with Tobias off in Dauntless as well, I had no other friends. Not being able to speak with them had made it all the more difficult to keep my secret. I was worried that if I spoke too much to anyone else, I would give something away.

    I paused by a window in the E Wing and waited for the Dauntless to arrive, a habit from when Tyler still attended school. At exactly 7:25, the Dauntless proved their bravery by jumping out of a moving train.

    My father referred to the Dauntless as “hellions”. They are usually pierced, tattooed, and black-clothed. “But I wouldn't love either of you less if they were the faction you chose,” he made clear to me and Caleb. I wonder who that had been directed at…

    Now that they weren't policing the Faction less, their main purpose was to guard the fence that surrounded our city. They should have perplexed me -- I should have wondered what piercings had to do with bravery or courage -- but in my time with Ty and Anna, I'd gotten used to it. My eyes clung to them wherever they went.

    The train whistle blared, the sound resonating in my chest. The light fixed to the front of the train clicked on and off as the train hurtled past the school, squealing on iron rails. And as the last few cars passed, a mass exodus of young men and women in dark clothes hurled themselves from the moving cars, some dropping and rolling, others stumbling a few steps before regaining their balance. One of the boys wrapped his arms around around a girl's shoulders, laughing.

    Watching them was a useless practice, but it was entertaining. I turned away from the window and pressed through the crowd to the Anatomy classroom.

Chapter Text

Anatomy, Psychology, Advanced Mathematics… All of my classes sped by. Lunch was there before I knew it. We sat at the long tables in the cafeteria, and the test administers called ten names at a time, one for each testing room. I sat next to Caleb and across from our neighbor, Susan.

Susan's father traveled throughout the city for his job, so he had a car and drove her to and from school every day. He offered to drive us, too, but as Caleb said, we preferred to leave later and didn't want to inconvenience him. Caleb fits really well into Abnegation for someone that wanted to switch factions.

The test administers are mostly Abnegation volunteers, although there is an Erudite in one of the testing rooms and a Dauntless in another to test those of us from Abnegation, because the rules state that we can't be tested by a member of our own faction. The rules also say that we couldn't prepare for the test in any way, so I didn't know what to expect.

My gaze drifted from Susan to the Dauntless tables across the room. They were laughing and shouting and playing cards. At another set of tables, the Erudite chattered over books and newspapers, in constant pursuit of knowledge.

A group of Amity girls in yellow and red sat in a circle on the cafeteria floor, playing some sort of hand-slapping game involving a rhyming song. Every few minutes I heard a chorus of laughter from them as someone was eliminated and made to sit in the center of the circle. At the table next to them, Candor boys made wide gestures with their hands. They appeared to be arguing, but it couldn't have been serious because they were still smiling.

At the Abnegation table, we sat quietly and waited. Faction customs dictate even idle behavior and supersede individual preference. I doubted all of the Erudite wanted to study all of the time and all of the Candor enjoyed a lively debate, but they couldn't defy the norms of their factions any more than I could at that time.

Caleb's name was called next. He moved toward the exit confidently. I didn't feel the need to wish him luck or assure him that he shouldn't be nervous. Everyone in our house knew where Caleb belonged. He was very good at playing the little Abnegation boy (my first memory of him was when he scolded me for not giving some little girl my jumprope on the playground when she didn't have anything to play with) but I knew about the books hidden in his room. He didn't lecture me anymore. There was no point when we both knew we were transferring.

My stomach wrenched at the thought of not seeing him every day. I closed my eyes and kept them closed until my name was called nearly ten minutes later, when Caleb sat down again.

I gave him a questioning glance. He wasn't allowed to tell me what he got, but the twinkle in his eyes was explanation enough. He got Erudite.

An Abnegation volunteer spoke the next round of names. Two from Dauntless, Erudite, Amity, Candor, and then, “Abnegation: Susan Black and Beatrice Prior.”

I got up because I was supposed to, but if it were up to me I would have stayed in my seat. I felt like there was a bubble in my chest that expanded more by the second, threatening to break me apart from the inside. I followed Susan to the exit. The people we passed probably couldn't tell us apart. We wore the same clothes and wore our blonde hair the same way. The only way we differed was body shape and it wasn't as if anyone could see those through our grey robes.

Waiting for us outside of the cafeteria was a row of ten rooms. They were only used for aptitude test, so I'd never been inside of one. Unlike the other rooms in the school, they were not separated by glass, but by mirrors. I watched myself, pale and nervous, walking to one of the doors. Susan grinned nervously at me as she walked into room five and I walked into room six, where a Dauntless woman waited for me.

She wasn't as severe looking as the young Dauntless I'd seen. She had small, dark, angular eyes and wore a black blazer - like a man's suit - and jeans. It was only when she turned to close the door that I saw a tattoo on the back of her neck; a black-and-white hawk with a red eye. If my heart hadn't been in my throat, I would have asked her what it signified.

Mirrors covered the inner walls of the room. I could see my reflection from all angles; the grey fabric obscuring the shape of my back, my long neck, my calloused knuckles, my pale face. The ceiling glared white with light. In the center of the room was a reclined chair, like in a dentist’s office, with a machine next to it.

“Don't worry,” the woman said. “It doesn't hurt.”

Her hair was black and straight, but in the light I could see it was streaked with grey. Not from age, she had dyed it.

“Have a seat and get comfortable,” she said. “My name is Tori.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Tori,” I replied quietly, sitting down and reclining against the headrest. Tori busied herself with the machine to my right. I tried to focus on her and not the wires in her hands.

“Why the hawk?” I asked as she attached an electrode to my forehead.

“Never met a curious Abnegation before,” she said, raising her eyebrows at me

I offered up an apologetic smile. “I've never been the perfect Abnegation.”

Humming a little, she pressed another electrode to my forehead and explained, “In some parts of the Ancient World, the hawk symbolized the sun. Back when I got this, I figured if I always had the sun on me, I wouldn't be afraid of the dark.”

“Are you still afraid?” I asked, making sure there was no trace of a condescending tone in my voice.

“No,” she smiled softly. She pressed the next electrode to her own forehead and attached a wire to it. “Now it reminds me of a fear I've overcome.”

She stood behind me. I squeezed the armrests so tightly that my knuckles turned white. She tugged wires toward her and attached them to me, to her, and to the machine beside her. Then she passed me a vial of clear liquid.

“Drink this,” she said.

“What is it? What's going to happen?” I asked.

“Can't tell you that. Just trust me.”

I snorted a bit at that, but tipped the contents into my mouth and closed my eyes.

Only an instant had passed when I opened them again, but I was somewhere else entirely. I stood in the school cafeteria again, but all of the tables were empty, and I saw through the glass walls that it was snowing. On the table in front of me were two baskets. One held a hunk of cheese, the other held a knife the length of my forearm.

Behind me, a woman's voice said, “Choose.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Choose,” she repeated.

I looked over my shoulder, but no one was there. I turned back to the baskets. “What will I do with them?”

“Choose!” She yelled.

When she screamed at me, my fear and confusion were replaced with stubbornness. I scowled and crossed my arms.

The baskets disappeared. I heard a door squeak behind me and turned to see who it was. I saw not a “who” but a “what”; a dog with a pointed nose stood a few yards away from me. It crouched low and crept toward me, its lips peeling back from jagged, white teeth. A growl gurgled deep in its throat, and I saw how the cheese could have come in handy. Or the knife. But it was too late.

I thought about running, but the dog would be faster, even with my training. I couldn't wrestle it to the ground. It had teeth and claws. I had to make a decision. If I could've jumped over one of the tables I might've been able to use it as a shield, but there was no guarantee I'd have the strength to tip the table over.

The dog snarled, and I could almost feel the sound vibrate in my skull.

Then I remembered. My biology textbook the previous year had said that dogs could smell fear because of a chemical secreted by human glands in a state of duress, the same chemical a dog's prey would secrete. Smelling fear leads them to attack. The dog inched toward me, its nail scraping the floor.

So I couldn't run and I couldn't fight. What else did I know about dogs? I shouldn't look it in the eye. That was a sign of aggression. I remember asking my father for a dog when I was younger, but then, staring down at the ground in front of the dog's paws, I couldn't remember why I'd wanted one.

It came closer, still growling. If looking into its eyes was a sign of aggression, what was a sign of submission?

My breaths were loud, but steady. I sank to my knees. The last thing I wanted to do was lie down in front of it, closer to its teeth, but it was the best option I had. I stretched my legs out behind me and leaned on my elbows.

The dog crept closer and closer until I could feel its hot breath on my face. My heart was pounding.

It barked in my ear and I had to clench my teeth together to keep from screaming.

Something rough and wet touched my cheek. The growling stopped, and when I lifted my head to look at it again, it was panting. It licked my face and I frowned, sitting up on my heels. The dog propped a paw up on my knee and licked my chin. I laughed as I wiped away the drool.

“You're not such a vicious beast, are you?”

I got up slowly so I didn't startle it, but it appeared to be a completely different animal than the one I'd faced moments before. I stretched a hand out carefully, so I could draw it back if I needed to. The dog nudged it with its head. I was suddenly glad I hadn't grabbed the knife.

I blinked, and when my eyes opened, a child stood across the room wearing a white dress. She stretched out both hands and squealed happily. “Puppy!”

As she ran towards the dog at my side, I opened my mouth to warn her, but I was too late. The dog turned. Instead of growling, it barked and snapped, and its muscles bunched up like coiled wire, about to pounce. I didn't think, I just jumped. I hurled my body on top of the dog, wrapping my arms around its thick neck.

My head hit the ground. The dog and the little girl were gone. Instead, I was alone in the testing room, now empty. I turned in a slow circle, but couldn't see myself in any of the mirrors. I pushed the door open and walked into the hallway, only it wasn't a hallway; it was a bus, and all of the seats were taken.

I stood in the aisle and held onto a pole, same as I had when I had let Caleb have my seat. Sitting near me was a man with a news paper. I couldn't see his face over the top of the paper, but I could see his hands. They were scarred, like he was burned, and clenched around the paper like he wanted to crumple it up.

“Do you know this guy?” He asked. He tapped the picture on the front page of the newspaper. The headline read: “Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended”. I stared at the word 'murderer’. It had been a long time since I had read the word, but even its shape filled me with dread.

In the picture beneath the headline was a young man with a plain face and a beard. I felt like I did know him, though I couldn't remember how. And at the same time, I felt like it would be a bad idea to tell the man that.

“Well?” There was anger in his voice. “Do you?”

A very, very bad a idea. My heart pounded and I clutched the pole to keep my hands from shaking and giving me away. If I told him I knew the man from the article, something awful would happen to me. But I could convince him that I didn't. I could clear my throat and shrug my shoulders - but I would be lying.

I cleared my throat.

“Do you?” He repeated.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well?”

A shudder went through me. My fear was irrational, but he reminded me of the men from my accident. “Nope,” I said, my voice casual. “No idea who he is.”

He stood and, finally, I saw his face. He wore dark glasses and his mouth was bent into a snarl. His cheek was rippled with scars, like his hands. He leaned close to my face. His breath smelled like cigarettes. Not real, I reminded myself. He's not real.

“You're lying,” he said. “You're lying!”

“I am not.”

“I can see it in your eyes.”

I pulled myself up straighter. “You can't.”

“If you know him,” he said in a low voice. “You could save me. You could save me!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Well,” I said, setting my jaw. “I don't.”

Chapter Text

I woke to sweaty palms and a pang of guilt in my chest. I was lying in the chair in the mirrored room. When I tilted my head back, I saw Tori behind me. Her expression was pinched as she removed the electrodes from our heads. I waited for her to say something, anything, about the test -- that it was over, or that I did well, or that I did horribly. Although how could I do poorly on a test like this? -- but she said nothing, just pulled the wires from my forehead.

I sat forward and wiped my palms off on my slacks. I had to have done something wrong, even if it only happened in my mind. Was the strange look on her face because she didn’t know how to tell me what a terrible person I was? I just wanted her to come out with it already.

“That,” she said quietly, “was perplexing. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Perplexing? What the hell did that mean?

I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. I wish I’d felt like crying because crying might have brought me a sense of release, but I didn’t. Could you fail a test you weren’t allowed to prepare for?!

I got more nervous as time passed, but I took several deep breaths and calmed myself the way Anna and my mother taught me. Still, the fears crept back up. What if they told me I didn’t fit in any faction? What if they forced me to live with the Factionless. I didn’t think I could do that, not after everything that had happened and not cut off from the community.

My mother told me once that we couldn’t survive alone, but even if we could, we wouldn’t want to. Without a faction, we have no purpose and no reason to live.

I straightened my back, sat cross-legged, and focused on my breathing again. I needed to calm myself down.

Finally, the door opened and Tori walked back in. It was all I could do to not clench my fists.

“Sorry to worry you,” Tori said, She stood by the foot of the chair with her hands in her pockets. She looked… sad, but like she was trying to hide it.

“Beatrice, your results were inconclusive,” She said. “Typically, each stage of the simulation eliminates one or more of the factions, but in your case, only two have been ruled out.”

I stared at her. “Only two?” I asked, eyes wide in shock.

“If you had shown an automatic distaste for the knife and selected the cheese, the simulation would have led you to a different scenario that confirmed your aptitude for Amity. That didn’t happen, which is why Amity is out.” Tori clasped her hands together in front of her. “Normally, the simulation progresses in a linear fashion, isolating one faction by ruling out the rest. The choices you made didn’t even allow Candor, the next possibility, to be eliminated, so I had to alter the simulation to put you on the bus, where your actions ruled out Candor.” She smiled a little then. “And don’t worry about lying. Only Candor tell the truth in that one.”

I released a huge sigh. Maybe I wasn’t such a terrible person after all.

“I suppose that’s not entirely true.” Or not. “People who tell the truth are the Candor... and the Abnegation,” she said. “Which made things more complicated. On one hand, you threw yourself on the dog rather than let it attack the little girl. An Abnegation-oriented response. On the other, when the man told you the truth would save him, you still refused to tell it. Not an Abnegation-oriented response.” She sighed and raked a hand through her hair. “Not running from the dog suggests Dauntless, but so does taking the knife, which you didn’t do.”

She cleared her throat before continuing. “Your intelligent response to the dog indicates a strong alignment with Erudite. I have no idea what to make of your indecision in stage one, but-”

“Stop,” I cut in. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“You display equal aptitude for Abnegation, Erudite, and Dauntless. People who get this kind of result are very special. Congratulations, Beatrice. You are Divergent.” The sadness was back in her eyes, but she also looked… proud? It was an odd combination. “Now, you know the rules-”

“We aren’t supposed to share our results, I know.”

“But, exceptions are made for those who are Divergent. The aptitude test is meant to help you make a difficult decision and you don’t get the same help, so we allow you to speak to your family and get their advice. In fact, we encourage it.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“I suggest that you go home,” Tori said, placing a gentle hand on Beatrice’s knee. “You have a lot of thinking to do, and waiting for the others may not benefit you.”

“I’ll have to tell my brother where I’m going.”

“I’ll let him know.”

My eyes stayed forward as I walked out through the tables, but I felt my brother’s concerned gaze on me as I stepped outside into the sunlight. I decided not to take the bus and walk home instead. If I got home early, my parents would notice when they checked the house log at the end of the day., and I’d have to explain what happened, maybe before I had it figured out in my head. I’d need to intercept Caleb before he mentioned anything, but I wasn’t concerned. Caleb knew how to keep a secret.

Walking really helped me to clear my head. I expected one result or the other, but I never expected both. And then to throw in Erudite, too? But as I walked I remembered that I had already made my choice and that the result wasn’t going to change my mind. Besides, I had an aptitude for Dauntless. Anything else was just extra and would only help me secure a good job after Initiation.

After I cleared that up, I was able to better focus on my surroundings. I was walking in the middle of the road because buses and cars tended to hug the curb, so it was safer. Sometimes I could make out the faded yellow lines on the street that we have no more use for. We have so few cars drive the streets of the inner city now. We don’t have any use for the stoplights that dangled above us like death traps either, but they were still there, too.

I took mental notes on things that looked particularly dangerous so I could report them to my mother, who was helping to head up the city’s renovation project.

I was going to miss Abnegation when I was gone. The lifestyle was beautiful. I would miss moving in harmony with my family; when we would attend dinner parties and everyone clears up together without a word being said; when I see people help strangers carry their groceries. I hated that I wasn’t as good at it as others, but I could still appreciate it.

My senses sharpened automatically when I stepped into the Factionless sector. All it was was a stretch of broken buildings and cracked sidewalks. There were even places where the road had completely collapsed to reveal sewer systems and subways underneath. The factionless did the jobs that no one else wanted to do. They were janitors and construction workers and garbage collectors; they made fabric and drove buses. As much as I wanted to hate all of them based on the actions of the few, I couldn’t. Our society wouldn’t run correctly without them.

I saw a factionless man standing on the corner ahead of me as I walked. He wore ragged brown clothes and had loose skin hanging from his jaw. He stared at me, and I smiled politely, hiding my discomfort.

“Excuse me,” he said in a raspy voice. “Do you have something I could eat?”

“I have dried apple slices in my bag. You can have them.”

When I was a young child, my father encouraged me to carry extra food for the factionless, but after the incident, he backed off considerably. I still did so of my own accord. I was not going to allow what happened to me to strip me of my generosity. It was one of the few things I liked about myself.

He tried to grab my wrist as he took the apples, but I jerked my hand back before his fingers could make contact.

“I said you could have the apples, not hold my hand.”

“Aren’t you wearing a little too much grey to be so mouthy, little girl?”

“I’m sixteen. I won’t be wearing grey for long.”

His lips parted to show snaggled teeth. The smile looked more like a snarl. “So today is the day before you choose?”

I was ready to defend myself if necessary. He wouldn’t expect a little girl from Abnegation to know how to fight. Turned out I didn’t need to do anything.

“Choose wisely,” was all he said before turning and walking away. The tenseness in my shoulders didn’t fade until I was safely inside the Abnegation sector.

Chapter Text

I reached my street only moments before I usually would, according to my watch-- the only adornment Abnegation would allow because it was practical. It has a grey band and a glass face. I would have to get a new one when I transferred. They take away all of your old possessions when you enter a new faction.

I was going to miss the comfort of the uniformity of Abnegation. The houses on my street were all the same size and shape, made of grey cement with very few windows. Every front door, every lawn, every mailbox looked exactly the same. The only difference was the numbers painted on them.

Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t have a disdain for uniqueness. Everything -- our houses, our clothes, our hair -- it’s all meant to protect us from vanity, greed, and envy, all of the different forms of selfishness. If we all have the same thing, we will want for nothing and envy no one. The ideal society. Except a little envy was a good thing, at least in my book. It inspired people to work harder and make things better. Guess that’s what made me Divergent.

I waited for my brother on the front step. It didn’t take too long. It was only a moment or two before I could see grey-robed forms and hear laughter. We weren’t all humorless, but my lean towards sarcasm was often unappreciated. How dare I make a joke at someone else’s expense?

I could feel Caleb’s concern the second our eyes met as he stepped into our drive-way.

“That Dauntless woman said you weren’t feeling well,” Caleb said. “Are you alright?”

He is with Susan and her brother, Robert, who both gave me strange looks. “I got sick when the test was over and needed some air. Tori suggested I head home early so I decided to walk.”

Robert and Susan both dropped the strange looks and gazed at me with sympathy. Of course, nothing strange was going on. I even learned the test administrator’s name because I was grateful for her concern. A perfect Abnegation behavior. Only Caleb remained unconvinced, looking at me with narrowed eyes the way he usually does when he suspects me of twisting the truth.

“Did you two take the bus today?” I asked to change the subject.

“Our father needed to work late,” Susan said, “and he told us to use the extra time to think about the ceremony tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome to come over later if you’d like,” Caleb said politely.

“Thank you,” Susan said with a smile.

Robert raised a brow at me and I rolled my eyes. We had both been silently judging for the past year as our siblings flirt in the way only known to the Abnegation. I hoped Caleb got some game when he transferred or he’d die alone. I nudged his arm as his eyes followed her down the walkway, startling him out of his reverie. He led me into the house, then turned on me.

He looked so much like our mother then, with a frown on his face. For just a second, I can see his life playing out in Abnegation. He would learn a trade, marry Susan, pop out a few kids. It would be wonderful. But it wouldn’t be Caleb.

“Are you going to tell me the truth now?” He asked, head tilted in curiosity. His eyes were concerned though.

“Not yet. We should discuss it at dinner. I just wanted to ask you to let me bring it up to Mom and Dad before you say anything,” She said.

“I can definitely do that.”

“Thank you. Oh, and congratulations on your results.”

“I haven’t told you my results.”

“You didn’t have to. I can see it in your face. I’m happy for you, Brother.”

I wanted to take a nap. The whole day had been exhausting. But Caleb had made breakfast, and Mom made our lunches, and Dad had made dinner the previous night, so it was my turn to cook. Caleb followed me into the kitchen and began to work silently beside me. It might have annoyed me on any other day but this would be the last time we got to make dinner together.

He thawed the chicken as I heated up the peas on the stove. Most of what we ate was frozen or canned because the farms were so far away. We learned in school that there used to be people that refused to buy genetically engineered produce because it wasn’t natural. Now we have no other options.

By the time our parents got home, dinner was ready and I had set the table. My father dropped his bag at the door and kissed my forehead. Other people saw him as an opinionated man -- maybe too opinionated -- but he was my hero. I knew he wasn’t perfect, but he was damn close in my book.

“How did the test go?” He asked us. I poured the peas into a serving bowl.

“Fine,” Caleb said easily. Bless him.

“I heard there was some kind of upset with one of the tests,” my mother said. Like my father, she worked for the government, but she manages city improvement projects. She recruited volunteers to administer the aptitude tests, but she was usually monitoring the factionless and helping them to find food, shelter, and jobs. It was her way of trying to keep what happened to me from happening to anyone else. “Looks like we might have another Divergent.”

Caleb’s fork clattered against his plate and his eyes snapped over to mine briefly.

“Are you okay, Sweetheart?” Our mother asked, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Actually,” I said, clearing my throat. “He’s probably surprised because I was the one with the test upset.” It went very quiet as the other three people in my house turned to stare at me. “I found out today that I’m Divergent.”

“Congratulations, Beatrice,” Caleb said.

My father had a wide smile on his face and my mother wore a proud expression. One that I usually only saw when we were with Anna and Tyler.

“I have aptitudes for Dauntless and Abnegation… And Erudite.”

“Three?” Caleb asked. His Erudite was showing.

“It’s not such a surprise,” Mom said. “You were raised Abnegation with parents that transferred from Dauntless and Erudite. It makes sense, really.”

“Well, I’m trying not to think about it much. It doesn’t affect my decision. I just wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else.” Faction leaders got notified of all Divergents the morning of the Choosing because many Divergents go into leadership roles.

“We’re proud of you regardless, Beatrice,” my father said. I looked down at my plate with a blush on my face. “But we won’t discuss it anymore.”

“Thank you.”

We passed the food around the table. After everyone was served, we joined hands as my father thanked God for food and work and family and friends. Not every family in the city was religious, but my father said we should try not to see those differences because they would only divide us.

“So,” my mother says to my father. “Tell me.”

She took his hand in hers and ran a gentle thumb over his knuckles. The show of affection was rare, at least in front of me and Caleb. We were taught that physical contact was powerful, so we should be careful with it. They focused on drilling that into Caleb more than me, but there were obvious reasons for that.

“Tell me what’s bothering you,” she added.

I was a little upset that I hadn’t noticed his sagging posture, despite the happy smile on his face. I shouldn’t have let my results dull my senses.

“I had a difficult day at work,” he says. “Well, really, it was Marcus who had the difficult day. I shouldn’t lay claim to it.”

My spine stiffened, but I kept my face blank. Marcus was my father’s coworker. They were both political leaders. The city was ruled by a council of fifty people composed of representatives from Abnegation because Abnegation was regarded as incorruptible. Those leaders are selected by their peers for their impeccable character, moral fortitude, and leadership skills. Representatives from other factions can also speak, but the final decision belongs to the council. I had no clue how the hell Marcus made it onto the board, but he was particularly influential.

“Is this about the report that Jeanine Matthews released?” my mother asked. Jeanine Matthews was the leader of Erudite, picked because of her high IQ. Father did not like her very much. I was interested.

“What report?” I asked in a concerned tone. My mother seemed confused by my interest. I didn’t usually care much about what argument the leaders were involved in, but this was about Marcus.

My father’s eyes were narrowed. “Those arrogant, self-righteous --” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Sorry. They released a report attacking Marcus’s character.”

My mother opened her mouth to respond but I cut her off. “And Tobias? Did they say anything about Tobias?”

My father turned to face me with a concerned look. “They said that Marcus used to abuse him and that is why Tobias left for Dauntless. You were friends with the boy before he left. Do you know anything about that, Beatrice?”

“I really shouldn’t- It’s not my place to say,” I said quietly, dropping my gaze. “I apologize for interrupting you. May I be excused? I’m not feeling well.”

My father nodded, but he looked pale and shaken to his core. He knew I was callous enough to say what I was feeling outright unless I had promised not to, and there had to be a reason for me to make a promise like that. He was raised in Erudite. He wasn’t stupid.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly before I left the room.

I paced up in my room, worried about my old friend. “Calm down, Beatrice. You’ll see him tomorrow. You can check on him then.” But I couldn’t settle down.

It took me a while to finally fall asleep.

Chapter Text

The bus we took to get to the Choosing Ceremony was full of people wearing grey. A pale ring of sunlight shone through the clouds. I had to tilt my head back to see the top of the Hub, and even then, part of it disappeared into the clouds. It was the tallest building in the city. I could see the lights on the two prongs at the top of the building all the way from my bedroom window.

I followed my parents off of the bus. Caleb and I presented a perfect calm image, following after our parents silently like good, little Abnegation children, arms linked together.

The elevator was crowded, so we gave our place to a cluster of Amity and walked up the stairs instead. Our faction saw us as an example and soon we were followed by a large group of Abnegation ascending the cement stairs in the dim light. I could have moved a lot faster, but I settled into their pace. The uniform pounding of feet was a comforting sound. I could very briefly see myself settling into this lifestyle, but the feeling was quickly stifled. The uniformity may have been comforting, but it was also boring.

My father held the door open and stood like a sentry as every single Abnegation walked past him. I waited beside him, still as a statue, so that I could walk with him to stand in the circle of factionless sixteen-year-olds around the room. When we choose our factions, we will become initiates. We will become members if we make it through initiation.

We arranged ourselves in alphabetical order, according to last names. I stood between my brother and an Amity girl with blushing cheeks and a yellow dress. Our names will be called in reverse alphabetical order. Caleb will Choose before me.

Rows of chairs for our families made up the next circle. They were arranged in five sections, one for each faction. Not everyone comes to the Choosing, but the crowd was still huge.

Before my parents join the crowd, they stand in front of us. My father kisses my forehead and claps Caleb on the shoulder. “I love you both.”

My mother hugs me to her and whispers in my ear. “I’m so proud of you. I’m going to miss you both so, so much. I’ll see you on Visitation Day.”

Caleb takes my hand in his when they walk away, squeezing so tightly that it almost hurts, but I don’t let go. The last time we held hands was at my uncle’s funeral, as my father cried. We needed each other’s support, just as we had then.

The room slowed down as more people settled into place. I wanted to look at the Dauntless, to see if I could spot Anna or Tyler or Tobias, but I realized Tobias wouldn’t show because Abnegation was heading up this year’s ceremony, which meant Marcus would be speaking.

Marcus stood at the podium at the side of the stage and cleared his throat into the microphone. “Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us every man has the right to choose his own way in the world.”

Well, I thought, one of five predetermined ways. Caleb’s hand contracted around mine.

“Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be.” His voice was solemn and gave equal weight to each word. I wanted to punch him in the throat. “Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for the warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality -- of humankind’s inclination towards evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world’s disarray.”

My eyes drifted to the bowl of sizzling coals. I know what I believe.

“Those who blamed aggression formed Amity.”

The Amity seemed joyful draped in red and yellow. They always looked kind, loving, free. Joining them was never an option.

“Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite.”

I squeezed Caleb’s hand encouragingly.

“Those who blamed duplicity created Candor.”

Yeah, no thanks.

“Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation.”

I blame selfishness, too, I really do.

“And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless.”

I just blame cowardice more.

“Working together, led by the Divergent who see all of humanity’s problems as equal, these five factions have lived together in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government…”

I could no longer listen to him ramble on spewing his lies. He was the least selfless person I knew. A round of applause signified the end of his speech and I forced myself to focus once more.

The first girl chose to stay in Amity. I watched her blood fall on the soil and she walked behind their seats to stand alone. The room was constantly moving from that point forward. There was always a new name, a new kid deciding their future. I recognized most of them, but seriously doubted they would recognize me.

The first transfer moved from Dauntless to Candor. He almost faceplanted walking to the platform, so I was unsurprised by his transfer. A mutter rose up from Dauntless, but I was impressed by him. He was brave enough to start a completely new life on his own in a new faction. That definitely wasn’t cowardly but they would judge him for it.

I was pulled out of my musings by Caleb’s name being called. Before he could pull his hand away, I pulled him into a hug. “I love you, Caleb.”

“I love you, too, Beatrice. They’ll be lucky to have you.”

“Same to you.”

And then he was walking down the path towards the bowls. I didn’t think it would be so jarring to see his blood drip into the bowl of water, turning it a deeper shade of red, but it shook me to my core. My selfless, caring, kind brother… Moving out of Abnegation. Nothing made sense anymore. But then I thought of the stacks of books and papers on his desk and by his bed and I knew he had made the right decision.

The Erudite crowd was full of smug faces. The Abnegation crowd, usually so quiet, seemed tense. And that was when it hit me. My father was a leader, just like Marcus. And his kids were leaving, just like Tobias.

My feet moved forward of their own accord when my name was called. I could hear whispers go up around the room, leaders talking about the new Divergent girl from Abnegation. I wondered if this was how Tobias felt when he was at his ceremony, walking forward to his new life at Dauntless. My head turned to my parents in the crowd and I could see that my father saw the realization in my eyes. His smile was sad, but he nodded in encouragement. Always so selfless.

I could stay, I told myself. I could be the child that stays. I could be selfless. How could we both leave him when he would be faced with so much scrutiny? How could I do that to him after he saved me?

But he would hate himself if I stayed, and I would grow to despise him. I was too selfish to stay and we both knew it. I looked back at Caleb and I could see he had come to the same conclusion I had. The guilt I felt was reflected in his gaze, but his jaw was set determinedly. We would not let rumors circulate about our father. He would not be compared to Marcus Eaton. Not ever.

Marcus offered me my knife and I wanted nothing more than to jab it into his jugular. His dark blue eyes met mine and he nearly flinched at the hatred he found there. He knew me, and now he knew that I knew him. I took the blade and turned towards the bowls, slicing open my left palm with no hesitation and no wince.

My blood dripped down and sizzled on the coals. I know who I am and I am brave.

Chapter Text

I kept my chin up as I made my way to stand with the other Dauntless initiates while the crowd whispered around me. I was the shortest initiate in Dauntless, the shortest initiate period, so all I could do was focus on the black-clothed back in front of me and wait for the ceremony to be over and the whispers to stop. When it was over, the Dauntless exited first. I walked past the men and women who were my faction, staring at the back of the tall boy in front of me.

But I needed to see my parents one last time. I looked over my shoulder as I passed them and was overcome with the desire to run and hug them. My father looked so proud. He never looked like that about anything. Pride was selfish. Seeing that emotion on his face made my eyes fill with tears I couldn’t let fall. My mother was smiling beside him.

I was pressed forward, away from my family. The Abnegation will be the last ones to leave. I saw Caleb in my peripheral, shaking hands with another transfer from Candor. It was good. I wanted him to make friends. On my other side, walking beside me, was a transfer from Erudite. He looked pale and nervous.

I would have been nervous too if I didn’t know what I knew about Dauntless, but I was lucky enough to have friends in the faction. Of course, they wouldn’t give me any specifics about initiation. The only thing Tyler would say when I asked was “Don’t be afraid to jump. Never be afraid to jump.” He repeated it quite a few times.

The crowd of Dauntless led us to the stairs. Looked like initiation was starting immediately. Everyone started running at once. I heard whoops and shouts and laughter all around me and smiled. That. That was what I had transferred for. None of them even considered hiding their true selves. They were having fun and they would show it to the world.

“What the hell is going on?” The boy next to me shouted.

“Dauntless initiation!” I shouted back, still running. I was breathing heavier when we reached the first floor, but some of the transfers looked ready to pass out. The cool, crisp air was soothing and the sky was orange from the setting sun.

The Dauntless spread out across the street, blocking the path of a bus, and I ran to keep up with the crowd. The longer we ran, the more excitement built up inside of me. I could never share this feeling with anyone in Abnegation and it was never like this with just my mom, Anna, and Tyler. I followed the crowd down the street and around the corner and heard a familiar sound. The train horn.

“Oh no,” mumbled the Erudite boy. “Are we supposed to jump on?”

“Oh yes,” I said with a fierce grin.

It was good I had practiced jumping onto the train with Tyler. I knew exactly what to do as the crowd spread out in a long line and the train sped towards us. The door of every car was open and I bounced on my heels as I waited with the rest of the initiates while full members boarded. I jogged in between kids and hopped up into the last car easily, hanging out of the door and offering my hand to a Candor transfer who was struggling to keep up.

When I pulled her into the car, she basically collapsed on top of me.

“Sorry," she puffed.

“At least buy me a drink first,” I smiled. Her eyes widened in shock as she took in my grey clothes and I had a laugh at her expense. But then I heard a shout and looked over her shoulder. A red-haired Erudite boy had tripped and fell too far behind to catch up to the girl holding out her hand for him. I felt sorry for him. He failed initiation, so he was factionless. It could have happened to any of us.

“You alright?” I asked the girl I had helped, trying to push the boy from my mind. She was pretty, with her dark skin, short hair, and long legs.

“Yeah. I’m Christina.” She offered her hand.

“Beatrice,” I said, shaking her hand firmly. It felt odd. People in Abnegation didn’t shake hands.

“Do you know where we’re going?” She shouted over the wind. It was louder since the train had picked up speed again.

“Dauntless headquarters,” I said. I crossed my ankles and lowered myself into a seated position. “You should sit down or the wind might knock you over.” I said it loud enough for most of the kids around me to hear and the majority of them dropped to the floor. A few just rolled their eyes.

Then a sudden gust of wind rushed through the car and knocked them over onto the other transfers. Christina laughed beside me, but I felt it more than I heard it. I offered her an amused smile in return.

My parents would be home soon. Alone for the first time in over sixteen years. I had to wonder how it would affect them. And Caleb… Would he be settled into Erudite already? What was their initiation like? Certainly nothing like Dauntless.

“They’re jumping off!”

I had used the past half hour to regulate my breathing and noticed that, with a perplexed look on her face, Christina had copied my breathing exercises and seemed impressed by the result. I leaned forward into the roaring wind and noticed that it was quieter than before. The train had slowed down, and the boy who had shouted was right. The Dauntless in the cars ahead of us were jumping onto the rooftops of the building we were passing by. The tracks were seven stories up. I had never been so grateful that my mother had friends in Dauntless that were willing to teach me.

The idea of leaping out of the train escalated my heart rate, but it wasn’t fear. It was excitement. This was what I had spent years training for. At least Tyler’s words of advice finally made sense.

“We have to jump off, too,” Said a Candor girl. I recognized her large nose and crooked teeth from the few times I had seen her around school.

“Great,” a Candor boy replied. “That makes perfect sense Molly. Leap off of the train onto a roof.”

“This is kinda what we signed up for, Peter,” she pointed out.

“Well, I’m not doing it!” Screeched an Amity boy behind me. He was the only transfer from Amity.

“You’ve got to or you’ll fail,” Christina said. “Come on-”

“No. It’s his choice,” I said firmly before turning to him. “If you don’t want to jump, that’s fine. Make your way to Abnegation when the train stops and ask for Natalie Prior. Tell her Beatrice sent you. She’ll help you find a job and a place to stay. Do you understand?” He nodded. “Repeat it back to me.”

“Abnegation, Natalie Prior, Beatrice sent me,” He said, looking more relaxed already.

“Being factionless doesn’t have to be a death sentence. You’ll be okay,” I said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Good luck.”

When I turned back to Christina, she was offering me her hand. I raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.

“I just- I can’t do it unless someone drags me.”

I felt my eyes soften and took her hand in mine. “We’ll get a running start. If you roll on impact, you’ll be less likely to injure yourself. Ready? One… two… THREE!”

I heard Christina scream as we launched into the air, but we both made it over the gap. I released her hand and rolled into a crouch when my feet came into contact with the gravel on the roof. Christina sprawled across the rooftop, laughing breathlessly.

“That was fun!” She said. I had no doubt she would fit in with the Dauntless thrill-seekers. Looking around, I found all of the transfers except for the Amity boy. All of the transfers made it to safety, but someone else had fallen. A Dauntless-born girl was standing at the edge of the roof, staring down at the broken body of another girl, screaming. It looked like Dauntless-born and transfers really were all on even footing.

Rita, as someone else was calling her, sank to her knees, sobbing. I wanted to go to her, but I knew she would most likely reject the comfort of a stranger when she had friends around to help.

I shook myself off and pushed down my sympathy. Members of Dauntless had to be strong. How else would the rest of the factions be able to rely on them for protection? At least I had a better chance than most to make it through.

No. I’d get fifteen seconds to allow myself to feel for that girl, to be sorry for her loss, before I hardened my heart to it. Just fifteen, and then I would move on and wouldn’t think of it anymore. I allowed all of the emotions I had tried to push down to flow over me. I almost wanted to cry for the girl who had fallen, for the family that had lost her. But my fifteen seconds were up and it was time to move on.

I pursed my lips and walked away from the edge, head held high.

“Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!” Shouted a man at the other end of the roof. He seemed older than the others, with deep creases in his dark brown skin and just a touch of gray at his temples. He stood on the ledge of the building like it was an average sidewalk, like someone hadn’t just plummeted to their death. I had to admire his confidence. “Several stories below us is the members’ entrance to our compound. If you can’t muster the will to jump off, you don’t belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first.”

“You want us to jump off of a ledge?!” Asked an Erudite girl.

Tyler’s words echoed in my mind again and I stepped forward without thinking. “Can I go first?”

The crowd parted around me and all turned to look, but I kept my expression eager.

Max tilted his head towards me and waved his arm in a ‘help yourself’ gesture.

“You got a death wish, Stiff?” I heard as I walked forward. “Worried you aren’t cut out for Dauntless?”

It was Peter from the train. He looked smug, but I was tired of letting people walk all over me. “I know I’m cut out for Dauntless. I’m not the little pussy who had to be talked into jumping off of the train. The only reason you jumped is because your little girlfriend convinced you you’d rather be dead than factionless. Are you sure you’re not the Stiff?” The crowd of Dauntless around us burst into laughter. Even Max wore an amused expression on his face. Peter’s face turned bright red. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna jump before you again.”

I hopped up onto the ledge with all the grace I could manage and looked down into a huge hole in the concrete. It was pitch black and I couldn’t see anything that might be at the bottom. Oh well. If I died, it wouldn’t be my problem anymore.

I stripped off my outer shirt and removed the tie from my hair, letting it blow in the wind. If I was jumping into a new life, I wasn’t doing it looking like a perfect Abnegation. There were catcalls and whistles behind me. I looked back at Christina over my shoulder and shrugged. “See you at the bottom!” And then I jumped, an adrenaline-filled laugh bubbling past my lips.

I felt like I was back on the train with the wind all around me as I plummeted toward the ground. The hole swallowed me up and I could no longer see anything around me. I thought, just for a second, that maybe this was some kind of lesson for the others and I was going to splatter against the ground. “Don’t jump in blindly like the dumbass Stiff.” I could almost hear Max say the words in my head.
But then I hit something hard that gave way beneath me and wrapped around my body. A net. The air was knocked from my lungs briefly, but I had never felt that level of exhilaration before. Where the laugh that I had let out as I fell was all adrenaline, the one I released then was pure and unadulterated joy.

I had just jumped off of a roof -- and I survived!-- but I needed to move for the next jumper. There were hands reaching for me from the edge of the net, so I latched onto the first one I could reach and pulled myself toward them. I rolled off of the net and landed firmly on my feet, a hand on my arm steadying me. The hand was attached to a very familiar face.

“Four!” I whispered happily. I very nearly slipped up and forgot to call him by his alias. I had always known him as Tobias. He had a thin upper lip and a full bottom lip that twitched upward into an almost smile. His dark blue eyes twinkled in amusement. We stood on a platform ten feet above the ground in an open cavern.

“Can’t believe it,” said a voice from behind him. The girl who had spoken had dark hair. She wore three piercings on her right eyebrow and a smirk on her lips. “A Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of.”

“There’s a reason why she left them, Lauren.” His voice was deeper than I remembered and rumbled in his chest. “You have a name?”

It was a running joke between us. After I learned about his new name, he told me I had to pick one too. What kind of Dauntless was named Beatrice?

“Tris,” I told him. “Tris Prior.”

“Tris Prior,” Lauren repeated, grinning. “She’s one of yours, so you make the announcement.”

Tobias looked over his shoulder and shouted, “First jumper -- Tris Prior!”

With my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could see the crowd around us. They cheered loudly, pumping their fists in the air, and then another person dropped into the net. I had a feeling I was going to get very familiar with Christina’s screams. The crowd laughed, but they followed it up with more cheering.

“Welcome to Dauntless, Tris,” Tobias said, a hand on my shoulder.

“Glad to be here,” I told him happily.

Chapter Text

When all of the initiates were on the ground, Lauren and Tobias led us down a narrow tunnel. The walls were made of stone, and the ceiling sloped, so I felt like I was descending deep into the earth. I had only been to Dauntless a few times, and never to this section, so everything was new. The lights were hung at long intervals so there was a large dark gap between lamps. Christina looped her arm through mine and we walked together through the darkness in front of all of the other initiates.

Our two leaders stopped and turned to face us. The Candor boy walking behind me ran into my back because of the sudden stop. Fortunately, I was able to keep my balance.

“Sorry!” He whispered in my ear.

“No worries,” I said over my shoulder, not turning to look at him.

“This is where we divide,” Lauren said. “Dauntless-born are with me. I’m going to assume you don’t need the tour.”

She beckoned them to follow her and they broke away to disappear into the shadows. Since most of the initiates were Dauntless born, there were only nine of us left. I was the only Abnegation. No Amity transfers made it that far. The rest were Erudite and Candor.

Tobias addressed us next. “Most of the time I work in the control room.”

Because you’re a control freak, I thought to myself fondly.

“But for the next few weeks, I am your instructor. My name is Four.”

“Four?” Christina asked. “Like the number?”

“Yes,” he said. “Is there a problem?”

“No.”

“Good. We’re about to go into the Pit, which you will grow to love. It-”

Christina snickered. “The Pit? Clever name.”

I shook my head. She shouldn’t have said that. Four walked up to her and leaned down into her face. For a moment, he just stared at her. “What’s your name, Initiate?”

“Christina,” she almost squeaked.

“Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-asses, I would have joined their faction,” he growled. “The first lesson you will learn from me is how to keep your mouth shut. Got it?”

She nodded vehemently.

Tobias started toward the shadow at the end of the tunnel. We all followed him in silence.

“What a jerk,” I heard Christina mumble.

“No one likes to be laughed at,” I replied quietly.

I could only imagine how scary Tobias must seem to the other initiates. They didn’t know him like I did. They didn’t know that it was better to learn these lessons from him than anyone higher up on the food chain.

Tobias pushed open a set of double doors and led us into the Pit.

“Oh,” whispered Christina. “I get it now.”

Pit really was the best name for it. I hadn’t been there in over a year, but it amazed me the first time I saw it, too. The Pit was an underground cavern so huge that you couldn’t see the other end from where we stood at the bottom. There were uneven rock walls several stories above us. Built into those walls were a myriad of different stores for food, clothing, supplies, whatever. Narrow paths and stairs were carved into the rock and there were no barriers to keep you from tumbling over the edge.

The roof of the Pit was made of glass panes. Above them was a building made of glass that let in the remnants of the day’s sunlight. It would have looked like just another building from above ground.

Blue lanterns hung above the stone paths at intervals similar to the dark hallways, glowing brighter as the sun went down.

There were people everywhere. They were all dressed in black, all shouting and gesturing expressively. There were no elders in the crowd. Most Dauntless didn’t make it that long.

A group of children ran down a narrow path with no railing and I almost screamed at them to slow down before someone got hurt, but I kept my mouth shut. I wondered how differently I might have turned out if I was raised in the same environment as them. It was so different from the orderly Abnegation streets where we walked in straight lines with polite smiles and bowed our heads in greeting. The quiet was nice, but there was something so much… more in the chaos of Dauntless.

“If you follow me,” said Tobias, “I’ll show you the chasm.”

When he turned around to lead us, I saw a tattoo peeking out from beneath his collar. It hadn’t been there the last time I saw him, so I was curious. He led us to the right side of the Pit, which was darker than the rest. I knew what he was about to show us. I could hear the water from across the Pit.

When we reached the iron barrier, the only barrier in sight, I looked over the edge. The floor dropped off sharply and led down into a roaring river. The water was calmer upstream, but downstream it battered against rocks.

“The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!” Tobias had to shout over the din of the water below us. “I don’t care how brave or strong you are. If you jump off of this ledge, you will die. I’ve seen it before, I will most likely see it again. You’ve been warned.

“This is incredible,” Christina breathed as we moved away from the edge.

“It really is,” I agreed, nodding.

We were led back across the Pit to a gaping hole in the wall. The room on the other side was so well-lit that, for the first time since my leap of faith, I could see exactly where I was stepping. The dining hall was filled with people talking and eating. The second we stepped through the door, they went crazy. They leaped to their feet and cheered and stomped and clapped. The noise surrounded me and invaded me, bringing a wide grin to my face. I could see Christina smiling in my peripheral vision.

I kept an eye out for Tyler and Anna as we looked around for empty seats, but I didn’t see them. Instead, Christina and I found a mostly empty table at the side of the room. I ended up wedged between her and Tobias. In the center of the table was a plate of food I had only heard descriptions of, never seen.

“These are hamburgers, right?” I asked Tobias.

“You’ve never seen a hamburger?” asked Christina, eyes widened in shock.

“Stiffs eat plain food,” Tobias said. I rolled my eyes at his terminology.

“Why?” she asked, confused.

“Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary,” I said in a monotone voice, repeating words that I’d heard over and over in my childhood.

She smirked. “No wonder you left.”

“Yeah,” I deadpanned. “It was just because of the food.” The corner of Tobias’s mouth twitched.

The doors to the cafeteria opened and a hush fell over the room. I looked over my shoulder. A young man walked in. People were so quiet that I could hear his footsteps. His face was covered in piercings. Both eyebrows, his septum, he even had a pair of piercings on his lower lip. His blonde hair was cropped close on the sides and a little longer on top. He was intriguing, to say the least.

“Who’s that?” hissed Christina.

“Eric,” Four said. “He’s a Dauntless leader.”

“Seriously? He looks so young!”

Four gave her a look. “Age doesn’t matter here.”

I could tell she was about to ask what did, but Eric’s eyes landed on Tobias. He immediately walked over and plopped down on Tobias’s other side.

“Well,” he said, “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” He looked at me and Christina with a smirk.

“This is Tris and Christina.”

“Oh, the Stiff,” said Eric, smiling wider.

“Former Stiff, I think you’ll find,” I said instantly, meeting his gaze unwaveringly.

The people around us, who had started talking, went silent again. They were waiting to see his response.

His smile would have seemed threatening to anyone else, but I wasn’t just looking at him. Tobias’s furrowed brow had smoothed out and he had pursed his lips to keep from laughing. He wouldn’t have been so amused if I had gotten myself in trouble.

“You’re the new Divergent, aren’t you?” Eric asked. The almost-smile fell from Tobias’s face immediately.

“That’s private information, Eric.”

“It’s alright, Four,” I said smoothly. “All he’s doing is letting the other initiates know who the competition is. It’s only fair.”

“Yeah, Four,” Eric said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Lighten up. She’s obviously tough enough to take it. Or was Tris not the name of the first jumper?”

I offered a polite smile, but nothing more. He tapped his fingers against the table, before focusing his attention on Tobias. I was more focused on the scabs over his knuckles. It looked like he had hit something too hard or without wrapping his hands.

“What have you been up to, Four?”

Tobias shrugged. “Nothing, really. Why?”

I had to wonder for a moment if they were friends. Tobias looked a little uncomfortable, but that might just be the context of the upcoming conversation. He definitely hadn’t seemed so uncomfortable when Eric had first sat down. Friendly rivals, if I had to guess.

“Max told me he keeps trying to meet up with you, and you never show,” Eric said. “He asked me to find out what your deal is.”

Tobias looked at Eric for a few seconds before he spoke. “Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold.”

“Oh. It’s that old song and dance again.”

Again? It certainly caught my interest.

“So it would seem.”

“Well, let’s hope he gets the point that you aren’t interested.”

Eric walked away with a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked a little upset.

“Are you two… friends?” I asked.

“We were in the same initiate class,” Tobias said. “He transferred from Erudite.”

“Were you a transfer, too?” I hadn’t even noticed that the candor boy who had run into me earlier had sat down across from us.

“I thought I would have enough trouble with her asking questions,” he said, jerking his head toward Christina. “Now I’ve got you, too?”

“It must be because you’re so approachable,” I said sarcastically. “You know, like a bed of nails.”

He stared at me and I stared back. We knew each other’s biggest secrets, he wasn’t going to scare me by glaring at me.

“Careful, Tris,” he said firmly. He looked away when someone at another table called his name and I turned back to Christina. She was staring at me with wide eyes.

“What?”

“I’m developing a theory.”

“Care to share with the class?”

“You have a deathwish,” she said flatly, picking up her hamburger.

I tapped out a message in Morse Code against the metal of the table, hoping that Tobias was the only one that noticed. I warned him that he needed to be upfront with the leaders about our friendship to prevent either of us from getting into trouble. The last thing I needed was to be kicked out because of perceived favoritism. He tapped back that he had everything under control. Then I asked if he was okay. He only repeated the same message from before.

Tobias disappeared after dinner, so Eric led us down a series of hallways to what I assumed was our dorm. I had to wonder what a Dauntless leader was doing playing escort for a bunch of initiates. Maybe he was in charge of overseeing our training? Christina walked beside me in silence. No one had ordered us to be quiet, but none of us spoke. I couldn’t quite understand why they kept it so dark in the halls, but I didn’t mind it. Christina looped her arm through mine again so we could guide each other through the dim halls.

Eric stopped in front of a wooden door and folded his arms. We gathered around him.

“For those of you who don’t know, my name is Eric,” he said. “I am one of the five leaders of Dauntless. We take initiation very seriously and I was chosen to oversee most of your training.”

I tilted my head at his words. He had said he was chosen. By who? The other leaders? And what made him the best person for the job? Tyler didn’t mention anything about a leader overseeing training. Was it a new policy?

“Some ground rules,” he said. “You have to be in the training room by eight every morning. You’ll be in training till six, with a break at midday for lunch. After six, you can do whatever the hell you want. You will also have some time off between the stages of initiation.”

‘Whatever the hell you want.’ The phrase lodged itself in my brain. I knew exactly where I was going in my free time.

“You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless,” he added sternly. “Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far.”

“But we started with twelve!” Christina protested. I pinched her arm in reprimand and she flinched. She had to learn to stay quiet when we were being lectured. There was a time and place to question our seniors. Initiation wasn’t it.

"There's always at least one transfer that doesn't make it to the compound," said Eric, picking at his cuticles, then shrugging as if it made no difference to him. I reckoned it probably didn't. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep you transfers separate from the Dauntless-Born, but that doesn't mean you're evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-Born. They're better than you already, so I expect-"

"Rankings?" asked the mousy-haired Erudite girl to my right. "Why are we ranked?"

Eric smiled and, in the blue light, it looked wicked, like it was cut into his face with a blade. Something twisted in my stomach at the sight.

"Your ranking serves two purposes," he said. "The first determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."

My stomach twisted again. I knew by his smile, like I knew when I walked into the aptitude test room, that something was about to happen to change my perspective on everything.

"The second purpose," he continued, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."

Oh. That certainly was new information. We all stood still as statues. And then Christina said, "What?"

"There are eleven Dauntless-Born, and nine of you. Four will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

That meant that even if we made it through each stage of initiation, six initiates wouldn't be members. I saw Christina look at me from the corner of my eye, but I didn't look back at her. My eyes stayed fixed on Eric, unblinking.

My odds, as the smallest initiate, and as the only Abnegation transfer, would have been abysmal. For the first time in a long time, I felt like something good had come out of my attack. And with my Divergence… The number of advantages I had made me feel slightly guilty.

"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter asked.

"You leave the compound," Eric said indifferently, "and live Factionless."

The mousy-haired girl clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. I remembered the Factionless man from the day before, the men from my attack nearly a decade prior. Instead of crying, like the Erudite transfer, I felt myself grow colder, more determined. I would be a member, I would make sure of it.

"But that's not fair!" Shouted the broad-shouldered Candor girl, Molly. She sounded angry, but she looked terrified. "If we had known-!" I very nearly rolled my eyes. She was handling the situation all wrong.

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snapped. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you're a coward." I thought it was a bit harsh, but maybe that was the point. I had no clue about the rankings or the possibility of being cut, but it made sense. The Dauntless policed all of the factions. They couldn't afford to have any weak links.

Eric turned around and pushed open the doors to the dormitory.

"You chose us," he said. "Now we have to choose you."

Later, as I laid in bed, I listened to the breathing of the eight other people in the room.

The only other person I had shared a room with was Tobias, and that was only occasionally. Still, I had no choice but to share unless I wanted to sleep in the hall. I changed into the clothes Dauntless had provided with my back to a wall. It was nerve-wracking, hoping that no one noticed the scars on my back.

I didn't have to hide them at home. I used to have my own room. I could see the front lawn from the window and the foggy skyline beyond. My sheets and pillows smelled of soap and fresh air. I was used to sleeping in silence.

I felt a heat behind my eyes while my thoughts drifted, but blinked away my tears.

I couldn't cry, certainly not where everyone could hear me.

I would be okay. I'd have Tobias, and Anna, and Tyler (once I tracked them down). I could look at my reflection whenever I wanted. I could befriend Christina, and cut my hair short, and let other people clean up their own messes.

The need to cry faded with each new thought, replaced by amusement.

My parents might not have recognized me on Visiting Day if they even came. They might decide to visit Caleb instead. Caleb who was all alone in his new faction while I had friends. But no. Mom promised she would see me on Visitation Day. Finally settled, I started to match my breathing to that of the other initiates.

My eyes just started to droop when I heard it. A strangled sound interrupted the silence, followed by a loud sob. I heard the bedsprings squeal and the cries were muffled by a pillow, but I could still hear them. They were coming from the Candor boy who had run into me in the hall, the one that had asked Tobias if he was a transfer. Al. He was the largest of all of the initiates and possibly the last person I expected to break down. Then again, I had almost broken down myself.

His feet were just inches from my head and I felt the urge to comfort him. If I wasn't Divergent, I would have pushed the urge down immediately. However, Divergents were praised for being able to show the traits of more than one faction. It might've been a good idea to give in to my Abnegation upbringing.

I swallowed hard.

If my mother knew that I was weighing the pros and cons of comforting an obviously pained individual… I could imagine the disappointed look on her face. It was what made me move.

I rolled silently from my own bed and padded on quiet feet over to the other end of his bed to rest a hand on his shoulder. His head jerked up to look at me but took a moment to focus in the darkness.

"Tris?" He whispered. His voice was shaking like Tobias's after he had been crying. It pulled harder at my heartstrings.

"Scoot over," I said firmly, but quietly. He did so and I laid down beside him, then pulled him close and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Why?" He breathed. I knew what he was asking.

"Because I would want someone to do the same for me. Just don't go falling for me or anything. That would be awkward."

He gave a choked laugh in response. "Deal." He cried quietly into my shirt for a while longer before he drifted off to sleep.

I was able to slip away from him and get back into my bed with a wet shirt but a light heart. I didn't fit in in Abnegation, but I could still make it in Dauntless without giving up everything my parents had taught me. I would make sure of it. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Chapter Text

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Tobias pressed a gun into my palm without looking at me and kept walking. I smiled at the familiar weight in my hand. "Thankfully, since you are here, you already know how to get on and off of a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that, too."

I wasn't surprised at all that the Dauntless expected us to hit the ground running. I was awake and dressed before the lights came on only six hours after they had gone off. My body, used to being awake at the early hour, was buzzing with excitement.

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

I struggled to focus on his words as the metal of the weapon warmed beneath my fingertips. It had been over a month since the last time I fired one. I had hated it when Anna first made me learn, but I grew to love it, especially when I realized that I had a natural talent for it. My trigger finger was twitching in anticipation.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," said Tobias. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what…" Peter yawned through his words and I internally winced. "What does firing a gun have to do with… bravery?"

Tobias flipped the gun in his hand, pressed the barrel to Peter's head, and loaded a bullet into the chamber. No, not Tobias. That was all Four. I almost smiled proudly. Then I thought to myself that it might be best to try to think of him as Four during training. I didn't know Four like I knew Tobias, so I'd be less likely to slip up and act like a friend instead of an initiate.

"Wake. Up," Four snapped. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."

He lowered the gun. I could see Peter's green eyes harden and expected to hear him mouth off. He must have learned from Christina's mistake though because he kept silent. Though, if his red cheeks were anything to go by, he was pissed.

"And to answer your question… you are far less likely to shit your pants and scream for mommy if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four stopped walking at the end of the row and turned back to face us all. "This is information you may need later in stage one. Tris, step forward."

I was surprised to hear him speak directly to me, but I didn't let it show. Instead, I took one long step forward and went to parade rest, the handgun hanging by my side.

"I heard from leadership that you have previous training with firearms." Anna must have reported that she'd been training me. Good. Four didn't ask a question, so I kept my mouth shut. "Demonstrate for your fellow initiates."

"Yes, Sir." I stepped up to the red line between two of the tables full of clips, directly in front of a target -a square piece of plywood with three red circles- maybe twenty feet away. It wasn't much different from the targets I had used with Anna and Tyler. I moved my feet into position, lifted my arms, and fired three quick shots. Then lowered the gun and stepped right back into my place in line. In the center of the target was a cluster of three bullet holes.

Whispers broke out down the line. "Damn, Girl!" Christina whispered. "Remind me not to piss you off!"

"There's no way this is fair!" Molly cried out, outraged. "How are we supposed to compete with someone who has previous training?"

My eyebrow twitched, but I stayed silent. "Not that it is any of your concern, but Tris is Divergent," he said scathingly. "She will be ranked with you, but her training will be much more extensive and in-depth. She has more chances to lose points." There it was. The drawback to the situation. I should have known it wouldn't have been smooth sailing. Still, I was proud of my shooting and kept a small smile on my face, despite the stares I was getting. Only Christina and Al had heard the previous night when Eric had essentially outed me. "Now, I hope you all paid attention to her demonstration because you're up. Maybe if you ask nicely, she'll give you some pointers."

Al looked at me desperately and I flashed him a kind smile, taking the target next to his. He looked back at me, but I just nodded encouragingly. He squeezed the trigger and almost dropped the gun. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

He fired again and again, but none of the bullets even got close. On his other side, Christina was faring much better, though she still hadn't gotten anywhere near a bullseye. I emptied my clip into the middle circle and reloaded.

"Statistically speaking," the Erudite transfer on my other side -he was the same boy I had ran down the stairs with the day before and his name was Will- said to Al, grinning, "you should have hit the target at least once by now, even by accident." He was blonde and his blue eyes were sparkling mischievously.

"Is that so," I deadpanned.

"Yeah," he said. "I think he's actually defying nature."

I looked back to Al, who looked dejected, and met his eye briefly. Then I very slowly adjusted my stance and lifted my arms again, firing a single bullet. Dead center. In my peripheral, I saw Al mimic my movement and stance exactly.

Bang. A hole appeared in the ring third from the center. Al's jaw dropped. I looked over my shoulder and raised an eyebrow at Will.

"So you see, I'm right. The stats don't lie," he said.

I let out a small laugh at his antics. Maybe Christina wouldn’t be the only person I befriended.

I lifted my arms to fire again, but a sharp whistle stopped me. That was always the signal Anna had used to cease fire. My gun dropped to my side as I turned to face Four and the others around me followed suit.

Standing with him was an unfamiliar woman. She was only slightly taller than me, with bronze skin and black hair streaked with purple. Her eyes were dark and intense. I saw how Four deferred to her and knew she had to be high ranking.

"Tris!" He called. "Come here! The rest of you, keep shooting!"

I removed the clip from my gun and the bullet from the chamber and sat them all on the table in front of me before I stepped away to join Four and the woman.

When I approached, I went to parade rest with my hands behind my back and a blank mask on my face.

"Anna trained you up nicely," said the woman. She sounded impressed.

"Thank you. I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear it," I said.

"This is Cora," Four said. "She's one of Dauntless leadership. You'll be with them for a few hours."

My heart fluttered in my chest but I kept my face blank and shook her hand. What could leadership want with me already? I forced down my nerves and my curiosity before I met Cora's gaze. "After you," I said with a sweep of my arm.

Cora led me out of the shooting range with an amused grin on her face. She looked over her shoulder at me when the door closed behind us and smiled. "You don't have to march. You're not in trouble. Smile a little, Kid!"

I couldn't help but let the corners of my mouth twitch upward. That sounded like something Anna would say. I wondered briefly where she was and how she was doing. "May I ask what this is about?"

"Sure! The last Divergent we got was Four and he wanted nothing to do with leadership by the time initiation was over. We're hoping to sink our claws into you early so that you don't hesitate to join us up top." She said it so matter-of-factly that I almost thought she was being sarcastic.

"It's day one of initiation," I said with no inflection.

"Yes?"

"How do you know you want me in leadership?"

"Good question." But she didn't seem inclined to answer, so I let it go and followed her through the compound. Eventually, we came to an elevator. I would have walked right by it if Cora hadn't pointed it out.

My curiosity was eating at me, but the last thing I wanted to do was piss off anyone in leadership. That was a surefire way of getting my ranking cut.

When the elevator opened, we stepped out into a large waiting room. There were several doors leading to various offices and hallways, but the far wall was made of glass and showed a large conference room. Several people were sitting at the table, speaking, but I couldn't hear a word they were saying.

In the center of the room was a desk. A happy-looking man sat behind it.

"Hey, Kyle," Cora called out in greeting. Kyle's brown eyes brightened at the sight of her.

"Cora! This the newbie?"

"If we decide she's worthy," Cora said, shooting me a teasing look.

I didn't know how to react, so I just raised a single eyebrow at her, then looked at Kyle. "Tris."

"Oh, I know. First Jumper's name gets around quick, 'specially if they're Divergent. Good luck in there, Tris." His tone was teasing, too, so I flashed him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

The conversations stopped when Cora ushered me through the glass door. I recognized Max immediately, and Eric. The other two people were strangers.

I waited for them to speak. Max stepped toward me. "Tris. It's nice to meet you," he said, offering a hand.

"And you," I said kindly, shaking his hand once.

"You know Cora and Eric." The latter of the two gave me a wicked grin.

"Good to see you again, Stiff," he leered.

"I thought we agreed that it was 'Former Stiff'," I said off the cuff, mouth twitching into a smirk before I remembered exactly who I was talking to and who was watching me. Oh well. Too late to take it back, so I had to roll with it.

"Well, I like her already," said a new voice.

I turned to face the two strangers in the room. The one that had spoken was a woman. She had buzzed off most of her hair, but what was left was a deep burgundy. It was a nice contrast to her olive skin. She was just as tall as Max and taller than the man standing next to her. He had a crooked grin on his face. His blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"My name is Janelle, but if you use it, no one will ever find your body," the woman said. "Call me Elle. This is Harrison. Ignore him. He's mostly useless."

"I resent that," he said dryly. "Welcome to Dauntless, Tris."

"I'm very glad to be here," I said.

"Aren't you at all curious why we drug you up here?" Eric asked, gesturing for me to take a seat.

"Very," I admitted freely as I sat across from him. "But the way I see it, you are leadership and I'm a lowly initiate. You'll tell me when you want to tell me and not a moment before."

The five of them broke out into raucous laughter. Harrison actually wiped a tear from his eye.

"Oh, wow," Cora chuckled. "Are they sure you shouldn't get Candor as an aptitude? You have no problem telling it like it is!"

"I know that it's sometimes best to keep something to yourself," I shrugged. "A Candor would say it anyway."

"Fair enough," Max nodded. "Look, Tris. I'm going to get straight to the point. Anna told us about you a while back. Months ago. She told us all about your training with her and her son. It's not illegal, so no one is in trouble. She said she never revealed anything about initiation and made sure Tyler kept a lid on it too. No worries. But she also mentioned that she had her suspicions about your Divergence."

My eyebrows furrowed. "She never mentioned anything to me."

"Didn't want to get your hopes up, most likely. Anna might not be a leader here, but she is very well respected and has a great deal to do with training our medics," Elle continued. "Most of us are friends with her and we value her opinion, so when we heard what she had to say about you and your determination for Dauntless… Well, it got our attention. We want you for leadership. Bad."

"Don't I have to make it through initiation first?" I asked, confused.

"Yes," Eric said. "And that's where I come in. Four told us that you were friends in Abnegation. As such, he cannot be the one in charge of your ranking. That job belongs to me. Because you're so far ahead of your fellow initiates, you'll be on a stricter training regimen. You'll still spend half of your time with them and be tested on the same things, but the five of us will also be teaching you what it takes to be a leader in Dauntless. As long as you're willing to put in the work, anyway."

The way he said that last part was like he was issuing a challenge. I'd never been one to back down from a challenge. Besides, a leadership role would allow for so many opportunities, including seeing my parents at council meetings. "I've never been scared to work," I said with a wicked grin that mirrored his own.

"Good to know. Stiff."

"Happy to please you. Nose," I said, raising an eyebrow.

Someone, Cora maybe, choked on air when the words left my mouth. I heard the others stifling their laughter, but didn't look away from Eric. The smile on his face was very similar to the one he had worn when he told us about cuts the night before. "This is gonna be fun."

The next several hours were spent answering any and all of their questions about my time spent with Anna and Ty; what were my strengths and weaknesses, what exercises came easiest and what I had to work for, what did I enjoy. I answered all of them quickly and honestly, if not somewhat jokingly, just as I had with Anna. How were they supposed to teach me to be better if they didn't know what I knew?

They also asked me about my studies in school. They were able to access my report cards, so they knew I got good grades, but they wanted to know if I liked the academic side of things.

"I don't hate it. Learning new things interests me. Knowledge is power."

"Great," Harrison moaned. "She's a pocket version of Eric."

"I don't know if you're trying to insult him or me," I said plainly, "but since he's had to be somewhat impressive to make it to this office, I'm just gonna say thanks and move on."

"Wise decision," Eric said dryly.

Then, later, Max asked a question I wasn't prepared to answer. "So what drew your attention to Dauntless, anyway? Anna wouldn't tell us. Four either."

I felt my perfect Abnegation mask fall over my face immediately, a polite smile firmly in place. "That's a private matter."

That stopped them in their tracks. I hadn't avoided a single question so far.

"I respect that," Harrison said easily. His tone of voice was too casual. "Will you at least tell us if your situation was similar to Four's?"

My nostrils flared and I had a hard time not glaring at the man for the accusation he had just made against my father. I wanted to hit him. Instead, I gritted my teeth and answered him. "Tobias and I are alike in many ways, but my home was always a safe place. I would thank you to never imply otherwise again."

The ice in my tone surprised even me. It was quiet for a moment after. Then Elle slapped me on the shoulder. "I think you'll fit in quite nicely here, Prior. Thank you for your time. Do you need help finding your way back down to the shooting range?"

"I think I can manage. It was nice to meet you all," I said, forcing my jaw to unclench. Max gestured for me to make my exit.

"-just like Anna. Fucking terrifying…" I heard someone mutter as the door closed behind me, but I had no way of knowing who it was without turning around. That was something I didn't want to do. I just nodded politely at Kyle and stepped into the elevator.

It took me a few minutes to find the shooting range Cora had taken me from, but I had calmed down enough by then that I was less… well, less stiff. I stepped through the door.

Four -no, only Tobias would look at me with that level of concern- met my eyes and I reached up to pull on my ear to let him know nothing was wrong. It was a signal we had worked out long ago. I saw him switch back to Four -it was a little disconcerting- and he barked at me. "Back in line, Initiate!"

"Yes, Sir." I took my place between Al and Will. All of the other transfers followed me with their eyes, but Al was the only one to speak.

"All good?" He asked.

"All good," I confirmed. "You've improved while I was gone. Keep it up!" And then we both went back to shooting.

By the time we broke away for lunch, every trace of my foul mood was gone. A wide grin was on my face. Christina didn't seem put off by my supposed advantages at all, just intrigued. She invited Al to sit with us. I smiled at him encouragingly.

I ate quickly while the others spoke and my mind drifted back to my aptitude test and the conversation with Tori after. She made it seem like being Divergent was a good thing, but if I'd known it was going to be so much trouble I would have just asked her to keep it to herself.

"Really? You don't remember me?" Christina asked Al incredulously, piling her plate with food. "Dude, we were in Math together just a few days ago and it's not like I'm a super forgettable person!"

"Math was first hour," Al protested. "I slept through it most days!"

"Whatever, Man. What about you, Tris? Did we ever have a class together? I mean, no offense, but I didn't pay much attention to the Abnegation kids."

I turned to really study her face. The more I looked, the more she did look familiar. I pictured her shorter, with a rounder face and pigtails, and the answer hit me. "We were like ten, I think. English, second hour. You were complaining to a friend because you overslept and missed breakfast and I gave you half of an apple I had packed for a snack."

Christina's jaw dropped. "That was you?! You look so different from then, and you certainly don't act the same."

"Well, what kind of Abnegation would I be if I had told you you should've woken up on time if you didn't want to starve and then ate my apple in front of you?"

"Okay, fair point. Man, apples were my favorite after that. Still are. Did I ever say thanks?"

"Nah, but I didn't really expect you to. No one ever did."

Her face twisted and she looked super uncomfortable. Al didn't look much different. "Wow. We were all kinda awful to you guys," Al muttered. He sounded a little upset. "How did you stay so nice?"

I shrugged dismissively. "Practice."

"Can I sit here?" I looked up to see Will tapping the table with his finger. I nodded.

"Tired of your Erudite buddies?" Asked Christina.

"They aren't my buddies," said Will, putting his plate on the table and dropping onto the bench. "Just because we came from the same faction doesn't mean we get along. You’re not exactly being buddy-buddy with Peter and his minions. Plus, I'm not super interested in being the third wheel."

Edward and Myra, the other Erudite transfers, were sitting two tables over, so close together that I couldn't rightly tell where one of them ended and the other began. Myra stopped eating to lean up towards his face. He turned and gently pressed his lips to hers. The Abnegation in me expected them to be scolded, but the rest of me was just amused by Will's obvious discomfort.

"How sweet," I said, deadpan. "When's the wedding?"

The three of them turned to stare at me, baffled that a Stiff could be sarcastic. "Oh for- Would you just ask already?" I blurted out.

"What's it like?" Will asked eagerly. "Being Divergent, I mean."

"Oh, is that what you meant?" I asked facetiously, but the smile on my face took all of the heat from my words. "I don't know what to tell you. It's not like I've ever known any different."

"Well, how'd you already know how to shoot a gun?" Christina asked.

"My mom was Dauntless before she transferred to Abnegation. She noticed when I was little how obsessed I was with the Dauntless and introduced me to one of her old friends. They taught me together. Of course, that was before the ranking system led to cuts. Which was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to you, by the way," I said, answering Will's next question before he could ask it.

"Did they teach you anything else, or just about the guns?" Al asked curiously.

"They taught me all sorts of things, Al. You're going to have to be more specific."

"Four said this morning that the second thing we learn will be how to win a fight. Do you already know?" He clarified.

"I do," I confirmed.

"Was Four right about you giving pointers if we asked nicely?" Christina asked, nearly begging.

"He might've been," I said, sipping on my water.

"Oh thank God," she muttered.

After lunch, Four lead us to a new room. It was huge, with a wooden floor that had a large circle painted in the middle. A gym. On the left wall was a green chalkboard, like the ones my teachers had used in lower levels. Our names were written in alphabetical order. The right wall held several pull-up bars.

At the opposite end of the room was a row of punching bags, hanging at three-foot intervals. We lined up behind them and Four stood in the middle where we could all see him.

"If you were paying attention this morning," Four said, "you heard me say you will be learning how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare your body to respond to threats- Threats you will face during life in Dauntless."

I had been imagining my life in Dauntless for years. I didn't expect to make new friends so quickly, though.

"We will go over technique today, but tomorrow you will fight each other," he said. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Learn fast or pay the price."

I was practically bouncing on my heels while Four named different punches and demonstrated them against the punching bag.

When he cut us loose, I went ham. I had missed training with other people around me. Anna and Ty had been absent for a while -I wondered briefly when I would get the chance to see them- so I had been stuck practicing on my own. I reluctantly stuck with the few moves Four had demonstrated, but it felt good to be hitting something again. The sway of the bag was immensely satisfying.

Four wandered up and down the line, watching us, but I did my best to ignore him until he stopped in front of me. He let his eyes roam my body from my head to my feet, analyzing me. I knew he had been concerned that I would let bullies walk all over me when he left, if only for the sake of not drawing attention to myself. He was looking for injuries.

Suddenly, he reached out and pressed a hand to my stomach. His hands were bigger than I remembered and nearly stretched across my entire abdomen.

"Don't lose focus. Keep tension here." I had to fight very hard not to roll my eyes. I had once said the exact same thing to him, years before.

Four removed his hand and kept walking. His face was blank, but I could see the amusement in his eyes. He knew that if almost anyone else had tried to touch me like that, they'd be on the ground.

Four dismissed us for dinner and Christina was by my side in an instant. "He scares the crap out of me," she admitted. "I think it's because of how quiet he is. You wouldn't expect him to be able to break you in half."

"He's…" I looked back at him over my shoulder and tried to think of something that I could say that would be honest but wouldn't give away how well I knew him. His time in Dauntless had made him more confident, even if it hadn't made him more outspoken. I was proud of him, but I did wonder if we would ever be as close as we once were. "... intimidating," I said, deciding that was definitely accurate.

We walked side by side to the Pit with Al in front of us and Will behind. Al stopped suddenly and turned to face us. "I want to get a tattoo."

"Of what?" Will asked from behind me.

"I don't know!" Al laughed. "I just want to feel like I've actually left my old faction, stop being so upset about it." I offered him a sympathetic look. "I know you heard me crying."

"Learn to quiet down, will you?" Christina said, poking his arm. I could hear the teasing in her voice. "But you're right. It feels like we're half in. Maybe it would help if we looked the part." She shot me a look

"I might cut my hair," I said appeasingly. "Or dye it. But I'm not piercing my face."

"How about your bellybutton?" She asked wickedly.

"Or your nipples," Will teased.

I winced. "I'm not getting any piercings at all during initiation. I don't know how brutal training is gonna get and I'm not gonna give any of my opponents the chance to rip metal out of my flesh."

The pained groans that followed my words told me that they probably hadn't thought of that.

Since training was done for the day, we could do whatever we wanted until it was time to sleep. The idea of it was intriguing. There was always something to do back in Abnegation and none of it was leisurely, not even training.

The Pit was packed with people. Christina looped her hand through my arm and pulled me away from the boys, calling back to them that we'd meet them at the tattoo parlor. I wondered briefly if Ty would be working. Maybe I would get a tattoo after all. We stumbled up the path together, exploring, as we looked around for a clothing store.

Most of the clothes that Dauntless had provided us with were too large on me and not at all flattering. Christina was dying to give me a makeover. I wasn't exactly opposed. I had enjoyed the clothes I got to wear the few times I had snuck in with Ty, but they were chosen by him. At least I'd have some input with the new clothes.

Ten minutes later and I was standing in front of a mirror and trying on a series of outfits the two of us had picked out. I was taking off a tight-fitting maroon crop top that still covered the scars on my back when the curtain was jerked open. I spun around to face Christina as she spoke.

"You would look really good in-" her words trailed off as she saw my back in the mirror. The shirt she was holding fell to the floor. "Oh my God!"

I reached out and pulled her into the fitting room without thinking and jerked the curtain closed behind her. "Quiet!"

"What the hell?" Christina demanded. Her eyes were wide and worried.

I froze under her gaze. I knew that the secret would come out eventually, but I wasn't expecting anyone to see the scars on the first day of initiation. "Shit," I said simply. "Okay." I took her hands in mine and whispered very quickly and quietly the gist of the story. "But next to no one knows and I know it's a lot but I would really appreciate it if you could keep it to yourself. I'm… not ready to tell everyone. I didn't even tell leadership when they were interrogating me earlier."

There were years in her eyes after the story was done but a cold determination settled over her face. "I won't say a word. I'm going to hug you now, okay?"

She didn't give me a chance to protest before her arms were around me. It was painfully awkward due to my lack of shirt, but a hug was the least I could give her for her silence. "Now. Try this on. It'll look great on you." She snatched the shirt she had been holding up off of the ground and thrust it into my hands.

Christina brought me several more options, changing to styles that would cover my back. I ended up wearing one shirt out. It was black and long-sleeved and skin tight and covered most of my back, but hung off of my shoulders and exposed my collarbones and part of my midriff. I paired it with a pair of black, white, and grey camo cargo pants and a pair of combat boots. A couple more shirts and a couple of pairs of workout pants found their way to my shopping bag, as well as a pair of running shoes and a knee-length dress. I spent nine of the fifty points I was allocated for the month.

With clothes out of the way, Christina dragged me into a new shop. Makeup. She held up a black pencil and grinned. "Eyeliner."

"You aren't going to be able to make me pretty with that," I said jokingly, but I closed my eyes anyway and felt her drag the pencil along the line of my eyelashes. Susan and Robert would probably faint if they saw me. The random thought almost made me laugh.

"Who said anything about pretty?" Christina asked. "I'm going for striking."

I snorted at that. It sounded so much like something Anna would have said at that moment. When I opened my eyes, she shoved a mirror into my hand. For the first time, I stared openly at my reflection with no worry of reproach. I wasn't in Abnegation anymore.

I tilted my head as I observed myself. My blue eyes usually seemed dull to me, but the eyeliner made them stand out. As a last-minute adjustment, I reached up and pulled the tie out of my hair, and shook out the braid I had put it in. It fell to frame my face in waves. My features seemed softer with my hair framing my face. I could finally see it. I did look striking.

It was almost like I was looking at someone else, the same way I had felt when I looked at Tobias and saw Four. Beatrice was the girl who kept a low profile and said nothing when being bullied or insulted. This was Tris.

"Do you like it?" She asked eagerly.

"Yeah, I do." I flashed her a smile before I looked back at my reflection. "Sorry, I've just never been able to look at my reflection for this long."

"Really?" She sounded baffled. "Abnegation is a strange faction…"

"They can be pretty great, too, though," I told her as I spent half a point on my own eyeliner. "Let's go watch Al get tattooed."

The two of us raced down the path to the tattoo parlor, but I won easily. When we walked inside, Al was already in a chair, being drawn on by a small, narrow man with more ink than bare skin.

Will and Christina flipped through books of pictures, elbowing one another when they saw something they liked. They looked like total opposites, she was dark and lean and he was pale and solid, but they looked good together and they both wore easy smiles.

I left them to it to wander around the room and look at the artwork on the walls. Most of the artists lived in Amity. Abnegation saw art as impractical and thought that time spent appreciating it would be better spent serving others, so all of the art I had seen was in textbooks. I had never been in a room so decorated. I could have stared at the pictures on the wall for hours and probably wouldn't notice. A picture of a hawk caught my eye and my mind flashed back to Tori, the woman who had administered my aptitude test. Right beneath it was a sketch of a bird in flight.

"It's a raven," a voice behind me said. "Pretty, right?"

Speaking of Tori. I turned and met her eye and felt like I was back in the aptitude test room. I didn't expect to see her again so soon. I saw her eyes widen when she recognized me.

"Well, hi there." She smiled at me. "Beatrice, right? With all the questions you asked me, I kinda expected you to go to Erudite. Nice to see you again."

"It's Tris now," I said with a smile. "You work here?"

"Yup," she said, nodding. "I just took a break to help with the tests. Tris, you said? Were you the First Jumper? I should have known."

"That's me."

"Well done."

"Thanks." I ran my fingers over the edge of the raven's wings. "If I didn't think Ty would kill me, I'd ask if you were free to ink me up. Speaking of, is he in?"

Her eyebrows raised, surprised that I knew him. "He's in the back. He got pulled for fence duty for a while and today is his first day back at work." That would explain his absence from our meetings for the month before. "Want me to get him for you?"

"That'd be great, thanks," I said, as warmly as I could. She disappeared behind a curtain and I ambled back over to where Al was showing off his spider tattoo to Christina and Will.

It was only moments before the familiar sound of Ty's footsteps ran up behind me. I didn't even manage to turn before I was being lifted into the air, strong arms wrapped around my torso. I let out a surprised yelp. Al and Will lunged forward to help me but froze when they heard me laughing.

"Put me down, you lower-level pansycake!" I ordered. It was hard to sound firm while I was giggling like a child. My three new friends were gawking at me.

"Anything my Queen Bea commands," said a cheerful voice in my ear. I turned to look at him when my feet touched the ground and smiled when his brown eyes met my blue. His skin was a little darker than Christina's and he seemed taller than he had the last time I'd seen him, which meant he was taller than Will but not as tall as Al. The smile on his face was blinding. I hadn't realized quite how much I'd missed him. "Welcome home, Bea!"

"Hi, sorry, I'm just a little confused," Christina cut in. "He's touching you and you're not glaring at him. Also, how do you two know each other?"

"Our moms are friends. And her glare doesn't work on me," he said, looking at my friends over the top of my head. "I've had years of exposure, so I'm immune."

"Careful, T," I warned teasingly. "You're not immune to a kick to the balls."

"Yeah, whatever. What's this I hear about you wanting a tattoo?"

"I was thinking three of those pretty ravens, here," I said, trailing a finger over my collarbone and towards my heart. "One for each of the family members I left behind, ya know?"

"I got you, Bea. And if you promise to let me design your next tattoo, I'll pay for this one myself!"

"Deal!"

Chapter Text

"There is an odd number of you, so one of you won't be fighting a fellow initiate," said Four, stepping away from the board in the training room. His name was written in the blank next to mine and I grinned in anticipation. He would be more of a challenge now that he had learned from someone who wasn't me. I felt eyes on me and looked to see Eric standing beside the board, watching me with an unreadable expression. I didn't let my smile falter.

"How are you smiling?" Asked Christina, nudging me with her elbow. "You're going up against our instructor and I'm up against the Tank!"

I looked up to see Molly's name next to hers and gave her an apologetic smile.

We had sat together at breakfast and, before that, she had stood between me and the rest of the room while we dressed so that people were less likely to see my back. There was at least one benefit to her finding out about The Incident. I have never had a friend like her before.

Things were different with her than with Tobias or Tyler. Those friendships had been forged in flames, out of necessity. I was friends with Christina for the simple fact that I wanted to be. It was kind of nice, not to have any sort of expectations of one another. Plus, the only other girl I had really been on friendly terms with was Susan, and she was always more interested in Caleb. I knew more about Christina after two days than I had about Susan after a decade of knowing her, and Christina knew more about me too, even if it was by accident.

"I'm gonna be crushed," Christina whined. I followed her eyes to where Molly was standing with Peter and the third member of their group, Drew. Molly was even taller than Christina. She had broad shoulders, bronze skin, and a large nose. "Those three have been inseparable since they crawled out of the womb, practically. I despise them."

Will and Al were first up to fight in the arena. They put their hands up like Four had taught them the day before and began to shuffle in a circle. With some distance between us, I was able to see the size difference between the two guys. Al was easily half a foot taller and at least twice as broad. The fight shouldn't last long. I said as much to Christina, my eyes not leaving the boys. After they aimed a few weak swats at each other, I allowed my gaze to wander.

I glanced back at Peter and his friends. Drew was the shortest of them, but he was built like a rock and his shoulders always seemed to be hunched. His hair was a bright red-orange, like a carrot.

"What don't you like about them?" I asked my new friend.

"Hmm? Oh, Peter is pure evil. I mean, when we were little he would pick fights with kids from other factions. Then, whenever a teacher would come to break it up, he would lie and say the other kid started it. And they would automatically believe him just because we were raised Candor!" She wrinkled her nose in disgust before continuing. "Drew is just a sidekick. Seriously, I don't think he's ever had an independent thought cross his brain. And Molly's the type of person who fries ants under magnifying glasses for fun."

"I've never gotten to gossip with anyone before," I said with a crooked grin. "It's kinda fun."

"I'll teach you everything I know, initiate," Christina said, mocking Four's serious tone. Then we both snorted.

I was briefly distracted from our conversation when Will took a punch in the jaw. I could see Eric smirk out of the corner of my eye. Will stumbled but managed to block the next hit, though I couldn't imagine it helped much. Al was slow but powerful.

When I looked back at the trio, they were glaring at us. They quickly put their heads together, whispering.

"I think they know we're talking about them," I said with a small smirk, not truly concerned.

"They already know I hate them," she said, faking a smile and waving at them. I bit down on my tongue to keep from laughing outright. Will hooked a foot around Al's leg and used it to knock him to the ground. Al scrambled upright surprisingly quickly.

"How?" I asked, pretending to be interested in the fight.

"I've told them," she said through her smile. I almost lost control of my laughter. "We're pretty honest about our feelings in Candor. Plenty of people have said they don't like me and plenty of people haven't. Who cares?"

"We were taught not to hurt people's feelings if it could be avoided," I said.

"I like to think I'm helping them," she said studiously. "By hating them, I'm reminding them they aren't God's gift to man." I did let a laugh slip through at that.

Will and Al faced each other in the arena, even more hesitant than they were before. They kept glancing at Four like they were waiting for him to call them off, but he stood with his arms folded and gave no response. Eric looked at his watch impatiently.

"This isn't gonna end until someone is really hurt," I realized. Christina turned to look at me, concerned.

"You really think so?"

I studied Eric's face and saw his jaw twitch. "Yeah, I really do. Look," I turned to her and spoke quietly. "Molly is heavier than you. That means she'll be slower. You're going to use that to your advantage. After she swings, you'll be able to get a few jabs in. Go for her face, her nose and eyes, or behind her ears. The throat is a weak spot too. If she's not guarding her abdomen, aim for the solar plexus." I angled my body so that Molly wouldn't be able to see the spot I tapped on my torso. "The kidneys are another weak spot. Also, don't be afraid to kick her in the-"

"Do you think this is a leisure activity?" I was interrupted by Eric's shouting. "Should we break for nap time? Fucking fight each other!"

"But…" Al looked confused and dropped his hands. "Are we being scored? When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," Eric said smugly.

"Shit," Christina muttered. "You called it."

"According to Dauntless rules," Four added, "one of you could concede."

Eric narrowed his eyes. "According to the old rules, you mean? In the new rules, no concessions."

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," Four said firmly.

"A brave man never surrenders."

Four and Eric stared at each other. I could see both sides of the argument and both sides of Dauntless being reflected. It was honorable to concede defeat when you knew more damage would be done otherwise. But if you ever got in a fight that would destroy you, even in surrender, it was important to see it through to the end. The former was what Four was trying to teach, but the latter was just as important for us to learn.

"This is ridiculous," Al said, shaking his head. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"

"You really think it's gonna be that easy?" Will asked, grinning. "Bring it on, slowpoke. Try and hit me."

I could see the determination in Will's eyes and knew what he was doing. He didn't honestly believe he could win the fight, but he knew they would both be punished if it didn't end soon. Very Erudite of him. Still, he didn't make it easy.

He managed to dodge several of Al's swings, even got in a kick to the larger boy's back. Al swung around with a frustrated look on his face. He rushed forward like a bear and Will moved too slow. Al succeeded in getting a hand around Will's arm and jerked him around to punch him right in the jaw.

The light in Will's green eyes faded quickly and his body went lax in Al's grip. He fell to the ground as deadweight and I winced in sympathy. I knew that feeling.

Al dropped to one knee, eyes wide, and began to tap his cheek with one hand. I was moving forward before I even really registered it, dropping down on Will's other side and bending down to lift his eyelids. His pupils reacted quickly to the light and I let out a breath.

"You're alright, Will. Come on, wake up." I pressed a knuckle into his sternum and he jerked, scrambling away from the source of pain. I heard a few whispers but ignored them. "You good?"

His handle came up to touch his jaw and he winced. "Yeah. Just remind me to never provoke him outside of training."

I laughed at that. "Can do." Al and I both offered him hands and hauled him to his feet, then led him to where I had been standing with Christina.

Four was at the chalkboard when I turned back around, circling Al's name, but Eric's eyes were trained on me again, that unreadable expression back on his face. He jerked when Four stepped back up beside him. "Next up- Molly and Christina!" He barked.

Christina cracked her knuckles as she looked at me and I nodded encouragingly. I really hoped she remembered what I said to her. She really was so much narrower than Molly. Four came to us and led Will out of the room. "He'll be fine," I whispered to a worried Al. He looked down at me gratefully.

Four leaving set me on edge a little. Eric was much less restrained in his actions toward the initiates.

Christina tucked her chin-length black hair behind her ears and cracked another knuckle. I could almost see the nervousness rolling off of her in waves, and I couldn't really blame her. She was totally unprepared.

It really wouldn't be fair to have me go up against any of the other initiates. I had been fighting for years against people bigger and stronger and faster than me and only recently started coming out on top. I knew how to roll with the punches, quite literally. Maybe I could help them train up a bit…

I was snapped out of my train of thought when Christina kicked Molly in the side, right in the kidney. Molly gasped in pain and a lock of stringy black hair fell into her eyes.

Then Molly smirked and dove without warning, grabbing Christina around the midsection. Christina thrashed, but Molly was heavier and she couldn't get out from under her.

The larger girl punched, and Christina jerked her head out of the way, but it wasn't like she could really move. Molly just punched again and again. Nose, eyes, ears, all of the spots I had told Christina to aim for. I felt Al place a hand on my shoulder and realized I had been leaning forward.

Blood ran down the side of Christina's face and splattered on the ground. I hoped she passed out soon.

But she didn't. She pulled one of her arms free and punched Molly right in the ear. The girl fell over and Christina was able to wiggle free. She was able to get to her knees, one hand pressed to her face. The blood streaming from her nose covered her hand in seconds. I could tell by the way she was shaking that she was crying.

Just play dead, I thought to myself. Just fall over and pretend you passed out!

Molly kicked Christina in the side, knocking her to her back. My hand clenched in Al's shirt and he pulled me tight into his side. I had never wanted to take someone's place more.

"Stop!" Wailed Christina. "I can't- I'm done!" Molly put her foot back on the ground, smiling smugly. Al sighed in relief beside me but I felt like I had been dunked into ice water. Four still wasn't back and Eric had said no concessions. What would her punishment be?

Eric walked towards her slowly, like a predator, and stood over her with his arms folded. "What did you say?" He asked quietly. "You're done?"

Christina pushed herself to her knees. A bloody handprint stood out on the wooden floor. She nodded at him despondently.

"Get up," he said. I would have been less worried if he had shouted it. If he shouted, his anger would burn up quickly. His voice was quiet and his words precise. I felt a shiver travel down my spine. He grabbed her arm and yanked her toward the door, yelling for the rest of us to follow.

We did.

It only took me a few minutes to realize where he was leading us and my heart sank. I could feel the roar of the river in my chest.

We gathered near the railing. The Pit was nearly empty because it was the middle of the afternoon. Most people were working and kids couldn't be left unmonitored.

Even if there were people around, they wouldn't have interfered. Eric was a leader.

He shoved Christina against the railing. "Climb over it," he ordered.

"What?" Her eyes were wide and her face was ashen. She knew Eric wouldn't relent.

"Climb over the railing," he said slowly. "If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't, I will not allow you to continue initiation."

It was a more difficult way to learn the same lesson he had been trying to teach us with the no concessions rule. The railing was narrow and metal and the spray from the river made it slippery. Even if she was brave enough to hang from the railing, she might not be able to keep a hold on it. Either she decided to be Factionless or she risked death. It was a hard lesson, but one she needed to learn. Still, if I could have learned it for her, I would have.

"Fine," she said, her voice shaking.

She was tall enough to swing her leg over the railing without any issues. She put her toe on the ledge and lifted her other leg leaning on the railing. It was a smart way to remove the water droplets from the metal without being too obvious about it. She wiped her hands on her pants before she latched firmly to the rail and took her feet off of the ledge one at a time. I saw Al set his watch in my peripheral vision.

For the first minute and a half, Christina was fine. Her arms didn't even shake. She was handling it well, especially considering she was injured.

And then the river surged and hit the wall and her back. Her already damaged face slammed into the bars in front of her and she cried out. She was holding on by just the tips of her fingers. My lips pressed together tightly and my hands were balled into fists. I watched as she struggled to get a better grip despite her wet hands.

I couldn't help her, not with this. She needed to learn that lesson on her own, even if it killed me. Even if it killed her. My blood drained from my face at the thought.

Christina hadn't cried since we got to Dauntless, but she was crying for the second time that day. Another spray of the water and she was dangling by one hand.

"Use the bars and your feet," I found myself shouting. She looked at me. "Pull yourself up. You've got this!"

"Come on, Christina," said Al. His voice was surprisingly loud. He clapped as he continued to cheer for her. "Come on, grab it! You can do it."

She swung her arm, fumbling for the railing. Only Al and I cheered for her. I held eye contact with her, trying to give her strength. A glance at Al's watch told me that four minutes had passed.

"A minute left, Chris! Just a minute! That's nothing!" Her other hand found the rail again and I felt a little of my anxiety fade, but not much. With the way her arms were shaking, I wasn't sure she could make another minute.

The water hit her again and she screamed as her hands slipped off of the rail. My heart leapt in my chest when I realized that she had managed to get a hold on the lower bars. She slid down until her hands were all I could see.

Al's watch beeped and the two of us surged forward.

"She has to come up on her own," I heard Eric say.

"You should have stipulated beforehand if you wanted her to come up on her own," I said firmly. "It wasn't in your rules."

"She did what you said," I heard Al snarl.

After a moment, he nodded to both of us. I could see grudging respect in his eyes.

Al was tall enough to reach her wrist by just leaning over the rail, but I hopped over to the other side to reach her. I had my toes perched on the ledge and one hand wrapped firmly around one of the bars while I used my other hand to get a firm grip on the back of her shirt. With Al's grip on her wrist, we lifted her easily.

Al lowered her gently to the ground while I climbed back over the rail and dropped down beside her. Her face was bloody and her clothes were soaked, but her eyes were filled with gratitude when they met mine.

I placed a gentle hand on her arm and sat with her while she caught her breath.

"Looks like you live to fight another day, Initiate. Back to the gym," Eric called cheerfully.

Christina shot a hateful glare at his back as Al and I hauled her to her feet. "I hate him. Sadistic bastard."

Al mumbled agreements, but I kept quiet. Yeah, it was harsh, but he got his point across. Initiation was obviously meant to be a trial by fire. It was best to weed out the weakest links early. I didn't think Christina realized how much respect she had earned from Eric by managing to hang on.

She leaned heavily on us as we walked back to the gym.

Chapter Text

Edward and Peter were up in the arena next. As much as I hated to admit it, Peter wasn't awful. Edward was better, but he wasn't awful. It was also the most fair fight that had happened that day, at least in terms of size and preparedness.

I watched eagerly as the two boys threw each other around. Edward obviously picked things up a little faster than Peter did. His movements were executed faster and with more grace. It was a little impressive after only a day of training. I respected Edward even more after he knocked Peter flat on his ass, out cold.

The next fight was Drew and Myra. Myra was fast, but once he got close enough to hit her, she went down immediately. Edward hurried forward to pick her up and carried her away to medical. Eric called lunch as they disappeared through the door.

My new friends and I quickly left. Al and I were practically dragging Christina behind us and had almost made it to the door when I heard Eric yell, "Not you, Stiff!"

Christina and Al shot me worried looks, but I forced a smile. "It's all good. I'll be along as soon as possible. Save me a seat?"

They nodded and shot glares at Eric before they left.

I walked swiftly back to stand in front of the youngest Dauntless leader beside the chalkboard. His blue-grey eyes raked over me, not at all the way Four's had the day before. His eyes lingered in many places, especially on the tiniest hint of ink that peeked out from behind the tank top I was wearing, before they met mine.

"We're training you to be a leader, so I feel like I should ask; Do you understand why I did what I did?" He asked. "Or do you agree with your friend that I'm a sadistic bastard?"

So he had heard her. I would have been worried about her if I couldn't see the amusement deep in his eyes. "I get why you did it. I can't say I would have done the same, but I get it. Some fights you can't back down from and it's better to learn that sooner rather than later."

A single eyebrow raised in question, causing his piercings to glint in the light. "So you disagree with Number Boy, then? I thought the two of you were besties?"

"Tobias is one of my closest friends, but that doesn't mean all of our opinions are the same," I protested. "I happen to agree with both of you."

His eyes narrowed at me. "Explain."

"I already told you why you were right, but he's right, too," I started. "In some cases, continuing to fight does more damage than necessary. In that case, the honorable thing would be to concede. Live to fight another day." I threw his own words back at him.

Eric studied me intently. He must have found whatever he was looking in my eyes because he nodded and turned to the chalkboard. He swiped his hand over Four's name and wrote his own in its place.

"Get into the arena," he said.

I obeyed quickly, excitement thrumming through me. Even if I got my ass handed to me in an extraordinary fashion, it would be nice to fight someone new. I didn't know any of his moves, but he didn't know any of mine either.

We circled each other for a few moments, observing each other for weaknesses. He was larger than me, stronger than me. His legs were much longer than mine, so he'd be able to move fairly fast. He favored his right side. His piercings…

My train of thought broke as he lunged forward and I ducked beneath his arms, rolling away from him. Damn, he was fast! I was faster. And smaller, hard to catch. He missed me several times before he managed to hit me directly in the mouth. I fell back and rolled with the impact so that it wouldn't hurt as much as it should have and hopped up onto my feet again.

I feinted to the left then, when his arm shot out to catch me, stepped to the right and grabbed his wrist. I stepped on his thigh and launched myself upwards to wrap one leg over his shoulders and one around his chest. Once above him, I brought my elbow down several times on the dermal piercings above his right eye.

When he reached up to grab me, I threw all of my weight backward. We went tumbling down to the ground. One of his long arms shot back and grabbed me by the wrist. He hauled me over his shoulder and I landed flat on my back on the ground beside him. His fist came down toward my face and I rolled to avoid the blow. His foot shot out and caught me right in the chest, knocking the wind out of me.

He was on top of me before I could recover, one hand around my wrists and straddling my hips so that I couldn't get leverage. His other hand came down to strike me in the face. My jaw ached with the force of it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Someone shouted.

Eric's grip loosened as he looked up and I took the opportunity to slip my hands out of his. It was too easy to reach up and clock him right on the nose.

"Shit!" He cursed, falling over. "What the hell, Stiff?"

"Shouldn't get distracted in the middle of a fight, Nose," I shot back with a wicked grin.

He stared at me, disbelieving, before he started to laugh. It shocked me so much that I started to laugh, too. The two of us practically fell over into each other.

"Beatrice?" Asked a concerned voice. I looked up to see Tobias a few feet away, looking very worried, and managed to stand up straight.

"I'm good," I panted. "Really. That was fun!"

He looked at me like I was crazy, then shook his head and muttered something about a death wish. "You weren't supposed to fight her," he growled at Eric.

"Yeah, yeah. She needed to get out some energy and you were taking too long. Besides, you can't tell me it wasn't an educational experience."

I agreed with him. My blood was up and my body was singing. My back was bruised, my cheek was swollen, and my lip was busted, but it had been a fair fight and I had given as much as I had got. Blood was leaking from his dermals and his nose and the arm I had used as leverage to lift myself up was hanging awkwardly.

"You're sure you're good?" Tobias asked me. I nodded and he allowed himself to slip back into his Four personna.

"What the fuck kind of name is Beatrice?" Eric asked.

"A very Abnegation one," I said smartly. "Why the hell do you think I changed it?"

"Fair enough," he chuckled. "You win this one, Stiff. Go get yourself some lunch." I watched him circle my name on the board with wide eyes before I smiled at Four and hurried off. I could hear Four cursing at the other man as I left and had to swallow back my laughter.

I was almost skipping on my way down to the mess hall. I knew I looked crazy smiling so widely with my bust lip and swollen face, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I forced my smile down as I crossed through the Pit. It didn't feel right to show any happiness in the place where my new friend had almost died. The joy died in my chest and my feet sped up unconsciously as I thought of her. I really should check on her.

A quick glance around the room and I had spotted them. Al was an easy target to find, even from behind. Will had just sat down across from them, a worried expression on his face, and he noticed me first as I approached.

"And what the hell happened to you?" He asked. Al and Christina turned to face me and their faces fell drastically.

"Oh my God," Christina gasped. "I knew we should have stayed!"

"Hey, I'm fine," I protested, plopping down beside Will. "I even got a few good punches in. You're not the only one that walked away with a nosebleed today," I added smugly. "So calm down."

"What the hell did I miss?" Will asked confused, looking between the three of us.

Christina quickly gave him the rundown of her fight with Molly and her time over the chasm. "I would have fallen if Tris and Al hadn't helped me." She was shaking by the time she finished speaking. I reached across the table to take her hand.

"You did incredibly well. It took me a while to be able to hang that long even without all of the water being thrown at you."

"You've done hanging exercises?" Al asked.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I would do all of my regular workouts, so my arms would already be weak, and then Anna would make me hang for a certain length of time, then haul myself up. Of course, I wasn't doing it over a chasm. The most damage I'd get if I fell was a broken leg."

"That's… still kinda messed up to do to a kid," Will said.

I shrugged. "Not really. The first time she did it, I was complaining about too many pull-ups. Said I never wanted to do another one again. It was sort of Anna's way to teach me that if I found myself hanging off of the edge of a building, I'd want to do at least one." I laughed fondly at the memory.

"You're crazy," Christina said. "What happened with Eric after we left?"

"We fought. Both got a few good hits in before he pinned me, but he got distracted when Four came in. I used the opportunity to punch him in the face. It was actually kinda fun and very worth the busted lip, I assure you. The two of them were bitching at each other when I left," I summarized. The three of them stared at me silently.

"Are you sure you came from Abnegation?" Will broke the silence. I laughed at his question.

"Yes. Very sure.” I tilted my head and looked around at the three of them. “Look, I think the four of us should make a pact right now."

"A pact?" I could hear all of Will's Erudite curiosity packed into those two words. My breath caught in my throat when I realized how much he sounded like Caleb.

"Yes. Obviously, they have no problem pitting friend against friend. I think the four of us should swear right now that no matter what takes place in the gym or in the shooting range, that's where it'll stay. Outside of those areas, it doesn't get mentioned," I explained. "When training is over, all is forgiven and forgotten. No grudges."

"That," Al said, "is a brilliant idea. I'm in. Will?"

"Oh, yeah. That's the best idea I've heard in a while. Christina?"

"Definitely," Christina said. "As long as you promise you'll end it quickly if we get thrown in the arena together, Tris. The last thing I need is another full-body beat down if it can be avoided."

"I'll end it as quickly as I can, but you have to at least try to fight back," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I can do that." Then, "Did you call me Chris earlier?"

"... Sorry?"

"Don't be. I like it."

Lunch passed too quickly for our liking and we were back in the gym long before my friends wanted to be. I was eager to get back to work.

Our group was the last to come in and all of the other transfers stared at us when we did. No, not at us. At me. They kept looking from me to my circled name on the chalkboard and back again.

"Is there something on my face?" I deadpanned. They all looked away.

Christina laughed, then groaned. "Oh, ouch. You're not allowed to be funny for the rest of the day." I apologized quietly as we waited for Four to address us. Eric was nowhere in sight. Pity.

"We're going to dissect every detail of the fights from earlier," Four announced. "Starting with Will and Al. Come over here." The two of them went to stand awkwardly by our trainer.

"Anyone have anything to say about their fight?"

No one made a noise, not even Will or Al. I rolled my eyes and stepped forward. "Both of them could have been more precise with their movements. If Al, in particular, had been less sloppy, the fight would have been over sooner."

"Right. Anyone else?"

"Will did a good job of using his smaller size to his benefit," Edward said. I thought it might've been the first time since just after the Choosing that I'd heard him speak. "He moved faster than Al did and it helped him a lot. Up until the end anyway."

"Very good."

A few others made comments and Four nodded, listening. He made a few comments of his own and even demonstrated a few moves on the guys, albeit a lot more gently than he would have in an actual fight.

We moved on to Molly and Christina next. Four had to depend on us to give an accurate recap of the rest of the fights since he was absent for them. He gave Christina tips on how to roll away from an opponent and end up back on her feet quickly.

Myra and Drew's fight was the shortest. Four reiterated that dodging was just as important as throwing a punch, more for some people.

The longest discussion revolved around Edward and Peter. They had used the most technique and had lasted a good bit longer than the other fights.

Then Four turned his eyes on me. "I was the only one that got to witness the spectacle that Eric and Tris created, and even I only caught the tail end. Care to tell us what happened before you gave our mighty leader a nose bleed?"

I blushed and glared at him for drawing attention to me. "Not much to tell," I tried to be nonchalant. "I spent most of my energy focusing on his obvious weakness, the piercings on his face. He used his size and weight to his advantage. I used his own movement against him. He's quicker than I expected him to be, but nothing I couldn't handle. We both landed some good hits. It was a good fight."

"Eric thought so, too," Four said. He held my eye for a moment, assuring himself once more that I was okay before he turned away. He led us over to the punching bags again to demonstrate some slightly more advanced moves.

Everyone moved on fairly quickly once he dropped it. Well, almost everyone. I could feel Peter's glare on me from across the room. I was going to need to watch my back.

Chapter Text

That night I dreamed that Christina was hanging over the chasm again, screaming for me to help her. Her five minutes were up. I ran forward, but her fingers slipped just as I reached for her hands and she fell into the water below. I didn't even have time to scream before I was shoved over the railing after her.

I jerked awake as I hit the water and my eyes adjusted to the dark of the dorm room. I was soaked with sweat. I didn't know what time it was, but there was no way I was going back to sleep. Instead, I gathered my clothes and walked to the girls' bathroom to take a shower.

I tried not to linger on the nightmare, but it was so different from the nightmares I usually had. I had never had a nightmare that wasn't related to my attack, not since it had happened, but there was no connection between the two incidents. It was strange.

Everyone was awake when I stepped back into the dorm. I felt a surge of frustration and put my hands on my hips. The word "Stiff" was spray-painted across my sheet and written smaller on my pillowcase and across my bed frame. "Well, that's gonna be a bitch to get out," I sighed, looking around.

Peter was behind me, whistling while he made his bed. I suddenly felt completely justified in the harmless gossip I had indulged in with Christina. What a dick. "Nice decorations," he said with a wide smile.

"I know," I said easily. "I mean, they're so original! No one has ever called me Stiff before!" The smile fell from his face and I could feel his eyes on me as I stripped the sheet away from my mattress with a polite smile on my face.

He wanted to get a rise out of me, and that just wasn't going to happen. Al walked in and I didn't even have to ask him to help me, he just started pulling at the bedding. I'd have to hunt down some new sheets and scrub the bed frame later, but there was no permanent damage done. Al bundled up the sheets and shoved them into the trash as we left the room.

"Ignore him," Al insisted. "He's an idiot, and he'll stop if you don't get angry."

I disagreed with him. I thought he would only get worse until he finally got the response he wanted, but I didn't want Al to worry. I just nodded at him. "How's Will this morning?"

"Better. He says he's not mad at all. Still, now I'm always gonna be remembered as the first guy who knocked someone out cold."

"That's a good thing, Al," I told him. "No one here is going to try to antagonize you. You're going to have to be a bit vicious in training. It's going to hurt, but they're not going to kill us. Things will get better after initiation."

"Will they?" He asked. I don't think I had ever heard someone sound so dejected.

"They will. I've had friends in Dauntless for a long time. You're going to have to do some difficult things in initiation, but they stop making us beat each other to bloody pulps when it's done."

"If you say so."

"Hey." I stopped and grabbed his arm. "If you don't think you can do this, you should just leave now and save yourself a lot of pain. But I think you can do this and it would be a shame for Dauntless to lose such a great member. All you have to do is end the fights as quickly as possible so that you don't have to cause extra damage."

His eyes widened and searched mine. Then a hard look fell over his face and he nodded determinedly. "Okay. Thanks, Tris."

"No problem. Let me know if I need to actually knock some sense into you."

We met up with Will and Christina in the mess hall, but none of us really said anything. It was a companionable quiet. We ate quickly, scarfing down eggs and bacon and sausage. I snagged a muffin and tore it in half, offering the other half to Christina. She looked like she could use a pick-me-up.

The four of us walked to training together, Christina leaning heavily on me while she nibbled on her muffin. We all looked to the chalkboard automatically and my face split into a wide and feral grin.

My opponent was Peter. I was going to have so much fun.

"Wow," Christina muttered. Her bruised face twisted into a confused expression. "Could you look any more upset about fighting Peter?"

"I take it you didn't see what he did to my bed this morning," I chuckled. "I'm going to enjoy putting him in his place."

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you actually fight," Will said. "If you fight like you shoot, Peter's screwed."

It gave me a sense of smug satisfaction that Will thought that. Al and Christina were shooting me worried looks when they thought I wasn't looking. I couldn't exactly blame them. Peter was almost a full foot taller than me and he had lasted a long time against Edward in the arena.

Four walked in, Eric on his heels, and Al bent down to whisper in my ear. "You did that to Eric?" The man in question had a horrible black eye that matched the bruise he left on my cheek.

I nodded, struggling to keep my face blank, as Four called for Molly and Edward to fight. Edward was much faster and stronger than Molly. There was no way she was going to win. Will, Al, and Chris started asking more questions about my fight with Eric.

"You guys should pay attention to the other fights. You could learn a lot by studying their techniques, like how to beat the crap out of them the next time you're in the arena with them." The chatter between the three of them went quiet almost immediately. "We can talk later," I appeased them.

My attention drifted as the fight went on, despite my advice to my friends. My mind wandered to my upcoming fight with Peter. As much as I wanted to stretch it out and just pummel him, I shouldn't do that. They were trying to train me to be a leader. What kind of leader let the meaningless actions of some bratty initiate get to them? But I was still an initiate too...

The hairs stood up on the back of my neck. Someone was watching me. My eyes steadily drifted around the room. Peter's eyes were focused on the fight. So were Myra's and Drew's. I looked over to Four next. He, too, was focused on the fight in front of him. That only left one person.

Eric was staring at me, directly at my split lip, a strange look on his face. My tongue darted out subconsciously over the scab and his eyes darted up to mine. I offered him a polite smile, like I hadn't just caught him in the act, and moved my eyes back to Molly and Edward. I was just in time to see Molly peeling herself up off of the ground as the fight ended.

I stepped forward quietly when Four called my name and turned to face Peter with a serene expression. To embarrass or to not embarrass…

"You okay there, Stiff?" He said. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry."

Thank you, I thought to myself, for making my decision so easy. I met Four's eyes over Peter's shoulder and he knew what I was asking. He looked annoyed, but not concerned. He gave me a very small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.

Peter brought his hands up and bent his knees, ready to spring toward me at any moment. His eyes were glinting. "Come on, Stiff. Just one little tear. Maybe some begging."

I said nothing, just clasped my hands together behind my back.

Peter shot forward and I rolled beneath his outstretched arms, bouncing quickly back up to my feet. He spun around, elbow aimed directly for my head, and I danced back out of his reach.

He stepped forward and I stayed where I was, feet planted firmly. His right fist flew at my face in a hook and I ducked easily under it, bringing up my knee to hit him firmly in the solar plexus. I stepped out of reach as he gasped for breath.

"Stop playing around!" Eric barked. "I've got shit to do today!"

The pure fury in Peter's eyes was delightful. It made him forget everything he had learned and just charge at me like a bull. I bent my knees in anticipation, then, when he was close enough, I spun. My left foot stayed planted on the floor as I twisted and brought up my right leg. My right heel connected with his ear and he collapsed in a heap. My hands were still firmly behind my back.

The gym was silent as everyone waited for Peter to get back up. He didn't even move. I reluctantly reached down and pressed two fingers to his neck. There was a pulse. "Someone should probably get him to medical," I said nonchalantly. "He feels a little Stiff." I stepped away and joined my little group of friends outside of the circle as Eric laughed. It was a laugh of pure amusement. Four, however, looked a little concerned, like he sensed there was a story behind my words. I shook my head a little, telling him not to worry.

All of the other initiates were staring at me, jaws dropped. He hadn't gotten a single hit on me and our fight was over in less than two minutes. Edward was the one that moved first.

"I'll take him since I've already fought. I'll come right back."

Four nodded at him, then turned and circled my name on the chalkboard. Al and Drew were up to fight next, but I couldn't pay any attention to the fight with Will and Christina hanging all over me.

"Oh my God," Cristina said excitedly. "You hit him once. One time! Your hands were behind your back! Please, please teach me everything you know. I'll be your servant forever!"

"You're a little badass, Tris!" Will whispered in my ear. "Now I really wish that I had been able to see your fight with Eric."

"Hush," I scolded them, but there was a proud smirk on my face.

"Eric is staring at you," Christina whispered a few moments later. I looked over to see that she was correct. When my eyes met his, he jerked his head to summon me over. "What do you think he wants?"

"One way to find out," I said, stepping away from her, ignoring the very obvious worry in her eyes.

"That was impressive, Stiff," he said quietly when I stopped beside him to watch Al. Not even Four would have been able to hear him, as close to us as he was. "He's gonna be pissed. You don't seem like the type to publicly embarrass someone for a little teasing, though. What happened?"

I answered just as quietly. "He vandalized my bed this morning. It was nothing more than a mild annoyance, but still. And then he just assumed I was scared of him. That was what really pissed me off. I'm gonna have to sleep with one eye open for a while, but it was so worth it."

"You think?" He asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Definitely," I said firmly. "I came to this faction, in part, so that I could stop letting people walk all over me."

"Hmm… While the others are going over technique this afternoon, you're going to be with me. You remember the way to the Leadership Offices?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Good. Be there after lunch."

"Yes, Sir."

The odd expression from earlier flashed briefly across his face again, but it was gone before I could really be sure it was there. I shoved it to the back of my mind and walked back to my original spot.

Drew hit the floor and didn't get up.

Chapter Text

Lunch was more exhausting than training was. I wasn't used to talking so much, but Christina and Will in particular never seemed to stop, even after he knocked her on her ass in training. Al was less talkative but still badgered me with questions. They all wanted to know everything about me. Who taught me how to fight? Exactly how long had I been training?

I was telling them a little more about Anna and Ty when I felt familiar arms wrap around my shoulders. "Speak of the devil," I said as Ty slid into the seat beside me.

"I thought my ears were burning," he mouthed off. "A little birdie told me that you knocked out another initiate with your hands tied behind your back."

"Rumors fly fast here," I said with a grin, wondering how it could have possibly gotten to him so quickly. "They weren't tied, but they were behind my back."

"I hope the little asshole deserved that type of embarrassment. I know personally how much it stings being beaten by you even though you're half my size."

"He definitely did," Al put in in my defense. "He's nothing but a bully."

“Then it’s a damn good thing you tried to knock some sense into him before he let his ego get away from him. Mom wants to see you.” He gave me a knowing look and I rolled my eyes. “She’s a bit upset you haven’t made time to see her already.”

“In my defense, I’ve been a bit busy. And leadership is pulling me out of training this afternoon for I don’t know what. Probably gonna get lectured for pounding on Eric and Peter.”

Ty had just taken a sip of his water and it came spewing out of his nose. “You were the one that gave Eric that spectacular black eye? How are you not dead?”

I rolled my eyes again. “He’s not as scary as the rest of you seem to think.” All of their eyes turned to her and widened in surprise.

“He makes us fight till we pass out,” Al pointed out.

“He hung me over a chasm,” Christina said, deadpan.

“He waited till you were alone to fight you in the hopes that no one would stop him,” Will added.

“I don’t think that was the reason,” I protested. “He probably knew that we were on pretty even footing and wanted you guys to keep seeing him as the big, scary, undefeatable instructor from leadership. Besides, Four said that Eric enjoyed our fight, and I know I did. I’ve fought Ty for years and Four and I-” I cut myself off in the middle of my sentence. Shit.

“Four and you what?” Christina asked, grabbing my arm.

I pursed my lips. I hadn’t meant to reveal so much, but I felt so comfortable with them that it just came out. “Okay, keep this to yourselves, but Four and I have been friends for years. We trained together when we were younger.”

“This is news to me!” Ty whispered, leaning forward. “How the hell did that happen?”

“We’ve been friends since we were little. It’s why Eric is in charge of my ranking.”

The expressions on my new friends’ faces varied from shock to embarrassment to concern.

“Oh my God,” Christina said, burying her face in her hands. “I’ve been talking so much shit about Four and you’re friends with him.”

“Eric’s in charge of your rank?” Al sounded genuinely horrified. “What the hell?”

“Again, he’s not that bad,” I pointed out. “I mean, yeah he’s kinda sadistic, but he’s smart and leadership wouldn’t have put him in charge of initiation if they thought he would go too far. The rest of them are actually really nice and at least one of them thinks I’m terrifying.”

“You’re insane. I love you,” Ty said, getting to his feet and pressing a kiss to my temple. “Make time to see Mom later. She’s back working in the infirmary.” Well, that explained how Ty had found out about Peter so quickly.

“Can I walk with you? I need to make my way to leadership.” He nodded and I rose gracefully from my seat. “Look, just stay out of Eric’s way and do what you’re told. It’ll make things a lot easier for all of us.”

Ty wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I threw one around his waist and allowed him to lead me out of the mess hall. Several pairs of eyes followed us, but I ignored all of them. It was nice being with Ty again. He was the one person in the world that knew almost everything about me, which is why it wasn’t a surprise when he asked, “You totally meant to imply that Eric would make your life difficult if they didn’t follow the rules, didn’t you?”

“You sure you’re not a Nose?” I asked dryly.

“I know I’m not, but I think you’ve got a crush on one,” he teased, nudging me with his elbow. That was a surprise.

“Who, Will?” I asked incredulously. “What gave you that idea?”

“Not Will. Eric.”

I leveled him with a blank stare. “I do not have a crush on Eric. I just understand where he’s coming from, is all. I mean, I’m not overly fond of his methods, but he does know how to get a point across.”

Ty grabbed my arm and pulled me to a halt. He stared back at me. “You sound impressed, Bea.”

“I guess I kinda am,” I admitted, shrugging. I started walking again and Ty looped his arm through mine. It was a very Abnegation action and it brought a small smile to my face. Apparently, I had rubbed off on him. “I mean, he’s strong and smart. Ruthless. He’s everything I wanted to be… after. And he’s actually kinda funny, too. He’s got the same sense of humor as me, at any rate. I mean, when I punched him in the face and gave him a bloody nose, I told him he shouldn’t have allowed Four to distract him, and then we just laughed and laughed. I’m pretty sure Four thought we had lost our minds.”

“That’s another thing,” Ty said loudly. “You never told me you knew him!”

“I knew him before he was Four,” I protested. “I’ve only seen him a handful of times since his Choosing and that was two years ago. Cut me some slack!”

“Fine,” he pouted.

“Oh, and Christina knows about the attack. She saw my back when we were clothes shopping.”

He froze again and I turned to face him so he could study my face. “Well, you’re just full of revelations today!”

“Here’s another; I think I need to tell leadership, too. They’re curious about why I transferred, and I don’t want anyone to try to pin anything on my dad.”

He was quiet for a moment, then, “I could come up with you.”

“You can if you want, but I want to talk to them on my own. It’s not something I want you to hear.” Ty nodded. Despite the fact that Ty and Anna knew what happened, they didn’t know all of the details. The two of us walked together in silence, arm in arm. The ride in the elevator was silent, too. I could feel the tension rising in my chest. Instead of fidgeting nervously, I went uncannily still. It was how I always got whenever I thought about that night. The elevator door opened and Ty had to drag me forward.

Kyle looked up with a smile on his face. I could see the five leaders behind him in the conference room, eating. “Hey, Tris! Eric hasn’t scared you off yet?”

“Oh, please,” I scoffed. “Eric is far from the scariest thing I’ve seen.”

“You want me to wait here?” Ty asked, basically ignoring Kyle.

“Nah. Go back to work. If I need you after, I’ll find you,” I promised.

“Kay,” he pressed a kiss to my cheek, then turned a glare on Kyle. “They better take care of my girl.”

Kyle raised his brows at the words. “I’ll be sure to pass along the message.”

“Please don’t,” I deadpanned. “Just ignore him.” Then I turned to Ty. “Go back to work or I’ll tell Anna you attempted to threaten all of leadership.”

Ty paled. “I’m gone! Love you!”

“Uh-huh,” I rolled my eyes fondly and turned back to Kyle. “Sorry about him. He’s a little overprotective.”

“Got yourself a boyfriend already?” Kyle teased.

“Ew, no!” The thought of dating Ty made my stomach roll. “Gross! He’s like my brother.”

“My bad,” Kyle raised his hands in surrender, laughing apologetically. “They’re waiting for you. Just go in.”

“Thanks, Kyle,” I said kindly.

I walked past him and knocked on the glass door before I stepped through. The five of them looked up at me. Harrison smiled widely and dropped his fork onto his plate. “Ah, there she is! My hero! Come sit beside me.”

“Not sure what I did to earn that title, but hi,” I said, amused. I dropped into a seat between him and Elle. Eric sat directly across from me, Cora sat next to him, and Max sat between Harrison and Cora at the end of the table.

“I’ve never been able to give Eric a shiner like that,” Harrison smiled. “And trust me, I’ve wanted to.”

“You could never,” Eric said smugly.
“I had a good teacher,” I said at the same time.

The two of us looked at each other and grinned. “Anna’s training was like torture half the time. Eric is positively gentle in comparison.” My smile dropped. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you a bit more about my time with Anna. Specifically, what caused it. But I think it’d be better if you finished eating first.”

Four of them exchanged worried looks, but Eric focused on me with his brows furrowed.

“We were pretty much done already,” Max said, standing to put his mostly empty plate on a nearby cart. They all loaded up their dishes and then Max pressed a button on a panel on the table and called Kyle in. “Can you take these down? Close the door on your way, please.”

The door shut behind him and they all turned their attention to me at once. “Whenever you’re ready,” Cora said.

“Look, the first thing you need to know is that very few people know what I’m about to tell you. The only person apart from me that knows all of the gory details is my father, and that’s because- I should probably start at the beginning.” I took a deep breath and started to speak.

“When I was eight, I got into an argument with my brother at school. It was stupid and petty. He wanted me to share my jump rope with someone and lectured me about Abnegation practices. I was angry, so I purposely missed the bus so I wouldn’t have to see him. I walked home and the fastest way was through one of the Factionless sectors. This was weeks after Dauntless was told to stop patrolling. I was almost out when they grabbed me.”

The five leaders stayed silent, grave looks on their faces. Elle had leaned forward to lean against the table. Max’s elbows rested on the table and his fingers were steepled in front of his face. Harrison and Cora had turned in their chairs to face me, worry plain in their eyes. Eric had leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He was practically vibrating, he was so tense.

“There were three of them, all men, all factionless. They took turns holding me down, keeping watch, and…” I hung my head. “I was eight. I didn’t really understand it at the time, I just knew that it hurt,” I said, my eyes dropping to the table. “Everything hurt. But I held on for more than an hour before my dad found me. He carried me to the nearest doctor, gave me his blood so I would make it through the procedure. He saved me. That’s why I got so angry yesterday when you implied that my home life was like Tobias’s. My father is the greatest man I’ve ever known. He even kept the whole thing secret, just because I asked him to. And my mom is the one that got Anna involved. They’ve spent years teaching me how to defend myself from another attack.”

I finally looked up to glance around the table at their faces. Eric hadn’t moved an inch. The others looked deeply concerned. Cora and Harrison even had tears in their eyes.

“Tyler, Anna, and Four know I was attacked, but they don’t know the details, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk about it with them. Like I said earlier, outside of this room, only my father knows the entire story. You asked why Dauntless drew my attention because you were curious, but I doubt you expected this to be the answer. I told you because I don’t want you trying to pin anything on my parents. Marcus Eaton is an abusive bastard, but my parents were not. I would also appreciate it if you could tell whoever it is releasing those reports that my transfer had nothing to do with abuse.” My voice was firm. I was surprised by myself. I didn’t ever talk about it because I thought it would be too difficult, but I made it all the way through the story without even a crack in my voice. Maybe I was stronger than I thought. “So now you know. What did you want me for?”

“Four shared some concerns with us that people might be giving you a hard time because you came from Abnegation,” Max said, shaking his head. “He wanted us to ask if you needed help, but I can see that a little hazing isn’t going to be something you’re going to be concerned about.”

I snorted. “Four needs to learn to mind his own damn business. If it gets to be too much, you’ll be the first person I tell. A little vandalism is nothing.”

“I was supposed to go over our operating system with you,” Eric said. “We’ll be in my office a few doors down. It’ll probably take a couple of hours, then you can head back down to Four. Let’s go.”

Eric let me go only an hour and a half later with nothing more than a “See you around, Stiff.” Grateful that he hadn’t changed his demeanor toward me, I nodded back with a “Later, Nose.” It was quickly becoming a habit. I forced myself not to think about what I had revealed to them as I walked back into the gym.

The other initiates were already pounding away at the punching bags when I walked in. I nodded to Four and fell in line before he had a chance to say anything. I allowed myself to get lost in the repetitive movements as I practiced different punches and kicks, ignoring the looks sent to me by my friends and Peter and his cronies. I almost didn’t hear when Four called for us to stop and told us to get lost.

I told Christina that I would meet them for dinner and they left without me. Tobias walked over and intercepted me before I could follow them out the door. “Hey. We haven’t been able to really talk since you got here.” The corner of his mouth twitched upward into a smile. “You finally made it.”

“I did,” I said smugly. “It feels just as amazing as I always thought it would. Want to walk with me to the infirmary?”

“Are you hurt?” He asked quickly, concerned.

“No, I’m good. Just visiting with a friend. Ty said Anna wanted to see me.”

“Nurse Anna?” Tobias said, eyes widening. “That’s who has been teaching you all this time? No wonder you can hold your own against Eric. That woman is terrifying. She could probably break all of your bones while naming them if she wanted to.”

“I know for a fact that she can,” I deadpanned. “She insisted that I take Anatomy and Physiology so that I could do the same.”

“I would be glad to walk with you, Beatrice,” he said in an amused tone and offered me his arm. It was something he had said to me countless times in front of others in Abnegation. They would think we were practicing our manners when we were actually making fun of them.

“The pleasure would be all mine, Tobias,” I said in a quiet voice, looping my arm around his, an amused smile flashing across my face.

We stepped out into the hall, arm in arm, not unlike how Ty and I had been walking earlier in the day. “So, the control room, huh?” I asked teasingly. “I never would have expected that.”

“Shut up,” he said maturely, then, “I don’t have to interact with many people there. It’s easier. I get plenty of social interaction while messing with lousy initiates.”

“This group isn’t so bad,” I protested, defending my new friends. “They’re trying. They’re determined. Well, most of them. I had to give Al a bit of a pep talk.”

“You gave a pep talk? I would pay points to see that.”

“Shut up,” I laughed, and nudged him with my elbow. “It was more of a tough-love speech. Sort of a ‘get your head on straight or you might as well leave now’ type of thing.”

“That makes so much more sense.” He wasn’t laughing outright, but it was a near thing.

“Peter is a real piece of work. I pity you having to put up with him.”

“At least I don’t have to share a room with him. What happened this morning anyway?”

“Oh, Peter just wrote Stiff all over my bed. It was nothing more than an annoyance really. By the way, where do I go to get new sheets?”

“I’ll make sure some are delivered to the dorm.”

We used the time it took to get to the infirmary to catch up with each other. I asked him more about his job in the control room, he asked me about my time in school without him and what I thought of Dauntless so far.

“I think everyone is surprised by how blunt and sarcastic I am,” I said. “I mean, I curse and everyone loses their mind because ‘the Stiff knows naughty words! How scandalous!’”

“Max said you called Peter a pussy before you jumped,” he chuckled. “I wish I had seen his face. I bet it was priceless.”

“He was LIVID,” I laughed. “If I keep pissing him off, I’m gonna have to sleep with one eye open.”

Tobias’s brow furrowed. “You think he might try something?”

“I don’t know him well enough to say,” I said honestly. “But he does seem like the type to stab someone while their back is turned. Christina doesn’t have a very high opinion of him.”

“I’m glad you’re making friends,” he said. “You seem to be getting on well with Christina, Will, and Al.”

“I am,” I said happily. “You seem to get on pretty well with Eric. Outside of training, at least.”

“Only you could possibly notice that,” he said exasperatedly. “We were rated first and second in our initiation class. We bonded over being transfers. I turned down the leadership position that he took. We’re friendly, but we’re not particularly close. We get along better than we get along with most of the others anyway. He makes for intelligent conversation.”

“He’s… interesting,” I said slowly. “Smart and ruthless. Most of the others think he’s a sadist. I just think he has a job to do.”

“Please don’t tell me you agree with his training methods. It’s barbaric,” Tobias protested.

I glanced at him apologetically. “I can’t say I would do the same, but I do understand him. I think it’s better that we learn the lessons he’s teaching us now than later down the line when lives are at risk.”

“It doesn’t remind you of what happened when we were young?” He asked quietly. “Because I see these kids beating the crap out of each other and I just think of how things were back in Abnegation.”

I was quiet for a moment. “No. It doesn’t remind me of what happened then. It’s different. It seems like Eric abusing his power and bullying us, but he’s actually teaching us that we need to fight back as long as we’re able to. I’d much rather learn how to fight back in this setting than the way you did. Or the way I did.”

“Yeah. Fair point,” he conceded. “Maybe I’ve been a little hard on Eric.”

“Maybe you should try talking to him instead of yelling at him,” I suggested dryly. He glared at me and I smiled innocently.

“Careful, Initiate,” he said. Anyone else would think he was genuinely scolding me, but I knew better.

“My apologies, Four,” I smiled.

We went our separate ways when we reached the infirmary. There were a couple of people sitting behind a counter by the door who looked up when I walked in.

“I was told that Anna wanted to see me,” I said before they could ask why I was there.

Anna poked her head around a corner before they could do anything. “Beatrice!” She opened her arms wide and I gave her a wide smile before I stepped into them and gave her a tight hug. “I guess I should call you Tris now, though, shouldn’t I?”

“You get to call me whatever you want, Aunt Anna,” I said fondly.

“‘Aunt’?” Said an incredulous voice. The man and woman behind the counter were looking between the two of us. I looked even paler than usual while standing next to Anna. She was a tall, ebony-colored beauty and I was definitely none of those things.

“Yes, ‘Aunt,’” Anna said in an icy voice. “You’re telling me you don’t see the family resemblance, Michael?”

All of his blood drained from his face at her tone and he started to stammer an apology.

“Anna,” I scolded. I turned to face the poor guy. “She’s my mom’s best friend.”

A smile fell over her features. “You shoulda let him sweat it out considering it’s none of his business,” she said, lifting an eyebrow at him.

He blushed all the way up to his hairline. “Sorry, Anna. Sorry…”

“Tris,” I introduced myself. “Nice to meet you, Michael.”

“I’m taking a break,” Anna told him. “Call me over the intercom if someone is dying.” Then she took my hand and dragged me out of the Infirmary.

“So,” she started. “How’s initiation going?”

“It’s good,” I said. “I’m making friends. And enemies. And there’s the whole leadership/Divergent thing. Thanks for the heads up, by the way.”

“Don’t pout. It doesn’t suit you,” Anna said primly. “Besides, it does you good to be thrown a curveball every now and then. Keeps you on your toes.”

“Mmm-hmm. Whatever you say.”

“That’s right. Whatever I say,” she said smugly. Then her demeanor changed. “Tyler told me you wanted to tell leadership to protect your dad. Did you?”

“After lunch,” I said. “It went fairly well, all things considering. They didn’t say much after. They didn’t say anything, really. We just went right back to work. It was kind of a relief, actually. Telling someone, I mean. It felt freeing.”

“I’m proud of you, Bea,” Anna said firmly. “Tell me about your new friends. And I want to know all about this Peter you sent my way this morning!”