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“There’s an oasis out there, too?”
Winston stared out at the wide expanse of desert and realized how little he knew about this place. He’d never gone out onto the top of the goliath. He’d never seen the desert from above, only from eye level. He hadn’t wanted to see it from above, either. It was just something that happened as a consequence. He wanted to see what Cinema loved and, here he was, seeing this place with new eyes. He stepped closer to the edge of the brick construction. It didn’t improve his view, but the act of moving closer made Winston feel better about where he stood.
“Oh!” Cinema opened his eyes and looked at Winston, “yes, there’s- ok, yes, yes! Please remind me to take you there after the storm. It’s gorgeous when it’s in full bloom.”
“That, I can do.”
Winston pulled his pocket paper out and jotted this down. Sure, why not? He’d seen so much sand over the past months. Asthma or no asthma, he wanted to see what this place looked like when everything bloomed. He was ready for flowers.
Once he’d seen enough of the desert’s panoramic view, he stepped back from the edge and sat down. Cinema walked over and sat next to him. He looked up at the swirling mass of clouds above both of them and beamed.
“This is my favorite time.”
“This whole time in general, or specifically before the storm starts?”
“Before, during, and after.”
Winston adjusted his glasses and squinted up at the sky as well. He had to ask him. He had to know how Cinema felt about this, no matter how silly the question sounded every time he ran through it in his head. He knew it was dumb. Cinema just told him this was his favorite time.
He stayed quiet and let the mass of storm clouds keep his attention. He’d never been so high up during a storm. He’d never taken the time to pay such close attention to such a massive thing. He felt small and alone, even with Cinema next to him. He felt more separate from the world than he’d ever felt before.
“Does it ever bother you how big everything is up here? There’s just, well, there’s so much sky.”
“Mmm, a little, when I was younger.”
“But, you’ve moved past that?”
“My mom’s a meteorologist and storm chaser, so, yeah, I had to adjust to it.” Cinema looked at Winston, a smile still on his face. “It’s got a majesty to it, too. It covers the whole world and helps us all survive. I always thought that was pretty amazing.”
“Huh.” Winston blinked a few times. He’d never thought of the sky like that. It always seemed so distant and intangible, but there was something about the way Cinema spoke about it that eased his nerves. It made it more personable, he guessed. “That’s a good way of thinking about it.”
“Mmhm!”
Winston eased himself down so his back was flat against the surface of the goliath. His neck hurt from all the tilting he’d done to look at the sky. He saw no reason to let it get worse. He felt Cinema follow his lead and lie down next to him. That was nice. He was never sure what the other man would do, especially when storms were involved. He was sure Cinema had a whole set of things he loved to do during the quiet before the storm; things he was not doing at the moment so he could lie down next to Winston.
The attention was nice, even if he wasn’t used to it. He wanted to close his eyes and soak this sensation up, but there was a voice in the back of his head that shouted at him as soon as he considered doing so. Don’t waste this, since when does someone give you this much personal attention? Why are you lying here in silence? Don’t you always have something to say? Say something, stop wasting everyone’s time, idiot. He grit his teeth into a smile and pressed a hand against the sand covered stone.
“I feel like the surface of this thing shouldn’t be this hot anymore. The sun hasn’t been out in a while.”
What kind of comment was that? It wasn’t the right thing to say, that was just small talk. Why couldn’t he think of anything better than small talk right now? He scraped his nails against the stone. Frustrating, he was so frustrating. At least it was something?
“That’s the desert for you!”
Cinema didn’t sound offended by the turn the conversation took, but Winston wasn’t sure if he was being polite or if he really didn’t mind. He looked up at the mass of writhing clouds. That’s what he felt like. He felt everything twisted and knotted up inside of him. How’d he gotten so worked up? Was it really just because he didn’t know what to say? He sure was a mess; this was ridiculous.
“I am still working on adjusting to it.”
“I think you’re doing pretty well!”
He wasn’t too sure about that, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. Not outright, at least. He tried to take a few deep breaths, but he settled for some shallow ones. They’d do for now. He shouldn’t work himself up so much.
“Well, I’m trying hard, at least!”
“It shows!” Cinema caught him off guard with a smile, “You’re just way too hard on yourself.”
“You say that, but I’m not so sure. There’s a lot I have to learn about.”
He pressed his hand against his chest in a gesture of honesty and confirmation. There was so, so much he had to learn about, especially out here in the desert. His head stopped spinning and he tore his eyes away from the sky.
Cinema raised his eyebrows and grinned at him.
“I think you’d be upset if there wasn’t.”
“Well, in general, yes.” He grinned back at Cinema, caught off guard. He had a point. Cinema began to snicker. The knot of tension Winston wound up earlier loosened and he kicked his heels against the structure. “Luckily, there’s always more to learn about. If there’s no new information, there’s new ideas. Why, I’m learning plenty right now.”
“Oh, is that so? What have you learned today?”
Winston rolled over onto his side to face Cinema. The wind had picked up since the two of them came out to watch the storm, but it wasn’t too bad. He’d been through the ropes of storm adventures over the past few years of work with Cinema’s mother. He might not have fallen in love with weather like Cinema had, but he’d learned to push aside some of his fears to a certain level.
“I learned what you think about the sky, and, I learned there’s an oasis not too far away.”
“Both important things!”
“I also learned that it can get very humid in this desert, just as long as it’s before a big storm.”
“It’s a temporary thing.” Cinema reached over and gave Winston a pat on the shoulder. “At least there’s that, huh? Really, though-”
A rumble of thunder tore Cinema’s attention away from his discussion with Winston. His eyes snapped up to the sky and he shoved himself to his feet. Thunder echoed across the desert as the wind picked up speed and strength. It whipped Cinema’s hair across his face and tore at the plain poncho he always wore. His smile spread into a wide grin as he gestured at the sky.
“There it is! This is the start of the storm!”
Winston took a moment to sit up and take a personal inventory as another flash of lightning illuminated the surrounding area. The confidence he’d mustered from his conversation with Cinema had not lasted beyond the first rumble of thunder. He looked up and noted that the sky looked set to boil over with angry clouds, backlit with flickers of electricity.
He’d spent the past three years of his life with Cinema’s mother and helped her chase storms and report on extreme weather conditions. He’d never seen anything as powerful and awesome as the start of this storm. The surface of the goliath shook under the next clap of thunder’s force. For a minute, Winston’s eyes were locked on the sky.
It helps the whole world survive, he thought, it keeps people safe. He tried to wrap around him like armor, but his mantra faltered. It keeps people safe because it’s strong. It’s strong enough to overpower one scared person on top of a gigantic brick tower. It’s strong enough to wipe them away without trying.
“You should head in!”
Wait, what? Winston blinked and turned his gaze on Cinema. Had he been watching him look at the sky, or was this a coincidence? He knit his eyebrows together and stared at Cinema as another flash of lightning threw his face into sharp relief. Every inch of him longed to go inside and get away from the breaking storm, but there was something about the concerned way Cinema looked at him that made him shake his head.
“I’d, uh, I’d like to feel what it’s like to be out here during the storm.”
“Oh. Are you sure?” Cinema gave him a concerned look, which Winston responded to with a quick nod. “Well, ok, but, you need to keep close to me, ok? I’ll keep you safe.”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t plan on going too far from you.”
His heart beat faster than he’d ever felt before as Cinema reached down and helped him to his feet. This was a stupid idea, he really was an idiot, this was so dangerous. He shut his eyes and tried to breathe again. His lungs were still not cooperating with him, but he managed to force some air in and out, in and out. He couldn’t think like that. He had to remember what Cinema said. He’d keep him safe.
“I’m just curious, but, uh, how exactly do you deal with the lightning?”
“Well!” Cinema fiddled with the clasp of his poncho and unclipped the gold pendant he used to secure it. The cloth slid off his shoulders and was caught up in an aggressive gust of wind. “This little thing negates lightning.”
What? Winston squinted at the pendant as the poncho sailed off the edge of the goliath. It wasn’t that the small metal disk was unimpressive, it was just that, when Winston considered the strengthening storm, he couldn’t imagine how a little piece of metal would actually keep them safe from being fried by lightning.
“How does it work?”
Cinema shrugged and ran his thumb over its surface.
“Not really sure! I can’t take it apart or anything. But you’ll see it in action soon enough.”
“Are you sure it’s-”
A bolt of lightning made the jump from sky to earth. Without a second’s hesitation, Cinema wrapped an arm around Winston and pulled him flush against his side. He thrust his hand with the pendant into the air and braced himself. Ribbons of electricity danced from the metal badge and sparks of pure light and energy leapt across the bricks of the goliath. Displaced air rushed together with a crack and bang.
Winston’s ears rang and he scrambled to get a good grip on Cinema. His chest was tight and he felt his blood rush faster and faster as his mind and body caught up with what happened. He didn’t have much time to come to terms with his panic before Cinema scattered another bolt away from the two of them.
He lived the next minutes of his life in bursts of light and dark, surrounded by the deafening roar of weather beyond his comprehension. Danger engulfed him, but each time his anxiety peaked and the storm seemed set to swamp him physically and mentally, he saw the flash of lightning splinter into a spray and felt Cinema’s grip on him tighten, just for a second. Winston caught fragments of words from Cinema, never enough to figure out what he was saying, but just enough to understand the excitement Cinema felt at each flash of lightning he faced.
This was insane. People shouldn’t be able to chase electricity like that. People shouldn’t be able to stand up to the might of a storm, especially when perched on the highest structure for miles around. Nothing about what Cinema did seemed possible. It was too extraordinary to be real, but there he was. Somehow, against all rhyme and reason, he was here with a man who not only defied the nature of this storm, but embraced it.
Words strung together as Cinema shepherded him through each second of the storm. He felt pages of narrative weave into being as his mind raced to fill the words he missed in the cacophony of wind and thunder. He watched him step with the lightning in a spontaneous dance with the elements. He remembered the look of concentration and pleasure on Cinema’s face as he met danger head on and countered its force with his own strength. He felt his fear drain away, replaced by intrigue and curiosity.
Rain poured from the sky, but Cinema kept both of their footing stable. The wind tugged at them, but he kept them upright and led both of them across the brickwork in the second part of his dance.
Winston’s soaked clothes clung to his skin and grit slid under the heels of his feet. His hair whipped around his face in heavy ropes as he fought to keep the best view of Cinema he could find. He had to keep watching him. He had to focus his attention on the man he’d come to count on over the course of his stay. He wanted to see how he was at his happiest so maybe, someday, he could start to unravel more of his personal mysteries. This was why he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t lose this rare chance to look into Cinema’s life and understand the person he’d come to care about so much just because he was a coward.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed before the thunder and lightning retreated back into the sky. He’d lost track of time when the bolts came in too close to count. It felt like a long time. The rain came down, just as strong as before. Winston could manage the rain. He didn’t need to worry about the rain frying his skin and insides. His grip on Cinema loosened, and, with a gentle sweep of his arm, Cinema guided Winston down into a seated position on the rain slicked structure. He still had a smile on his face as he sat down next to him. Winston turned towards him.
“That- how, uh, how did you learn to do that?”
“Lots of practice, I guess!” He laughed and pulled Winston close into a one-armed hug. “But, look at you! You stuck it out with me the whole time! That’s wonderful!”
He wasn’t sure that was a great mark of bravery or accomplishment. He’d been scared through most of the storm. He felt his hands shake, even now, with the storm dying down. Still, he’d wanted to stay. No matter how scared he was, he never thought to ask Cinema to take him inside where he knew he’d be safe.
“You said you’d keep me safe. I knew it wouldn’t kill me.”
Cinema laughed and leaned his head against Winston’s. It was wetter than he’d expected, which, on second thought, felt stupid. Of course his hair was wet. He didn’t gain water repelling powers just because he had a lightning badge. Winston relaxed into the gesture and exhaled. He had to stop jumping to stupid conclusions.
They sat in silence as rain fell, propped against each other, high above the desert. It was the first comfortable quiet Winston had felt in a long time. He was used to the anxiety and expectation of silenced conversations. He hadn’t known how much the sound of rain and wind alone could mean to him until this surreal time next to Cinema on the goliath’s head. He turned towards Cinema and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
His companion turned and beamed at him. He moved his hand up from Winston’s side to the back of his head.
“Thanks for sticking with me.”
Cinema leaned forward and kissed him. He felt the excitement from earlier present in the kiss, along with a charge of energy.
“Really,” he said as he pulled his face just far enough away that he could touch the tips of their noses together, “No one’s ever done that and this was really nice. I really appreciate it.”
His face split into a wide smile as he pressed his face back against Cinema’s so their noses squished together.
“Good, since, I really appreciate you!”
Cinema scrunched his eyes up, laughing.
“What does that mean?”
He shook the last fragments of anxiety from the storm away and wrapped both arms around Cinema. There would be time to review and contextualize what happened later.
“It means I appreciate you very, very much.”