Archive of Our Own ^beta

Xemnas taught Roxas about passion.

He wanted something so badly that he would do anything to get it. Kingdom Hearts would make them all complete and that's all Xemnas ever wanted. Maybe he wasn't going about it right, but he was passionate about it.

About having a heart. About being able to feel.

Being whole.

Passion was something so strong that you would work towards your goal until your final breath, if need be.

Xigbar taught Roxas about being sly.

Roxas wasn't so good at keeping an ear to the ground, but watching Xigbar made him want to try it. He was always the first one to know about things, even if he wasn't supposed to.

And maybe the sarcasm and saying as if anyone else matters in the scheme of things was kind of a reason to make people turn away, so he could wiggle under their skin when they weren't looking.

It was enticing, being that stealthy, even if Roxas didn't think he could pull it off.

Xaldin taught Roxas about love.

Or... maybe more he taught him about the destruction hearts could cause. Because while Roxas didn't really understand what he was doing with the rose in Beast's Castle, Roxas had a feeling it wasn't a good thing.

And he had said that love was destructive.

If love was so destructive, though, why were they vying for hearts?

Vexen taught Roxas about being covert.

Or the lack of being covert, yelling about in the middle of the street about respecting his elders and drawing a crowd that led him to hide in the darkness.

Roxas knew what not to do on a mission: don't make a fuss like Vexen.

Lexaeus taught Roxas about keeping a level head.

When Lexaeus had handed him the metal heart and crown chained together like a paperclip necklace, Roxas had at first thought he was joking.

But not getting flustered by a challenge was a huge advantage. It had taken Roxas trying to get two clips apart, to untangle the heart from the crown, to realize that.

Staying calm could throw a mission in your favour.

Zexion taught Roxas about the power of books.

More than that, he taught him the power of knowledge. Days spent in the Grey Area, staring up towards Kingdom Hearts and wondering how it was helping them or how it would, Zexion was there to explain. If they were out on a mission and Roxas investigated something out of place for recon, Zexion named off the name, the purpose, and the reason it might be there.

Countless times did Zexion tell Roxas things he didn't know.

Roxas decided to become more well read - knowing this stuff for himself would be good.

Saïx taught Roxas about devotion.

Roxas hated him. Well, disliked, really. But he did teach him about devotion nonetheless. About not caring what people thought, as long as the end goal was what you desired. Not necessarily a good thing, but not a bad one, either. Maybe he should care what people think, but the undying loyalty to a cause, like Xemnas's passion, was unswerving.

Roxas wished he had something he was so devoted to. He figured it might be his best friend and sea-salt ice cream. And his Keyblade, and a little bit of Kingdom Hearts.

Axel taught Roxas about friendship.

Laughter over ice cream on the clock tower and ruffled hair on a day where everything was going wrong. Axel told him that friends were always there for each other and they helped with each other's problems.

Friendship meant loyalty and a small amount of adoration. It meant never wanting to lose the person that you were friends with.

Roxas never wanted to lose Axel.

Demyx taught Roxas about relaxing.

Funny that Demyx could teach anybody anything, but he still did. He sat back and strummed on his sitar and slacked on his missions, but Roxas realized that, once in awhile, that was alright.

Because, out of all thirteen of them, Demyx always seemed the happiest.

He wasn't necessarily the smartest, but he was the happiest.

Luxord taught Roxas about gambling.

Both in cards and in life, it was all about chance. Following a rabbit across a new world might be a good choice, or it might get him killed. It might mean feeling so small that you felt that you couldn't do anything but it might mean completing the mission.

Beginner's luck was also something Luxord taught him about. He said it was only beginner's luck that Roxas got royal flushes the very first time he sat down to play poker with him.

Right or left? Up or down? Yes or no? It was all about the choices, and only Roxas could make them.

Marluxia taught Roxas about power.

He'd said some things that Roxas hadn't really understood, but the way Marluxia looked at his Keyblade and told him that it was a magnificent weapon that harnessed power Roxas couldn't imagine... There was something in his eyes when he said it and it gave Roxas a chill.

He liked having the power of the Keyblade, but he wondered if he should fear it.

Or fear what others would do with it.

Larxene taught Roxas about determination.

She did it without meaning to.

Their very first mission together and she had said that the Keyblade made him really special, but that she didn't think he was special at all because just look at him.

Roxas hadn't understood what flared in his veins at the time, but he came to realize that it was indignation.

He was going to prove her wrong. He was worth the Keyblade's power.

They'd all see.

Organization XIII had its good apples and its bad apples. Demyx and Zexion seemed to be generally good apples. Larxene and Marluxia seemed like bad ones. Axel was a really good one and people like Lexaeus didn't really seem to fall into either of those categories.

Roxas wondered where he fell.

Roxas wondered if the rest of the Organization, barring Axel, even cared that he was there. They said that they would do whatever it took for Roxas to collects hearts and make them complete... but were they just using him?

Probably so.

Roxas wondered if they saw him as anything except a form that carried a Keyblade.

Probably not.

Roxas decided that he didn't mind. Even if they didn't care for him, only his power, they were helping to build him up. He'd learned loads of things that he hadn't known before. He didn't even have any memories before. So, being walked on by Saïx or looked down upon by Larxene or dragging Axel by the arm to go get their sea-salt ice cream for the day... Those were the things that made him.

Maybe they weren't the best things. But Roxas liked them for what they were.