Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

And say, say that we got it

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

Oh, 'cause it's gravity

Oh, keeping you with me

   “You know I’d always wanted to see Paris at night.” The voice cut through the silent, dark hotel room. It was colder than normal for this time of year, but it seemed fitting for the situation.

   “I heard it makes quite the beautiful honeymoon destination,” Steve replied, turning around to face her. Mason looked tired, her eyes were sunken in, and her hair that was always so perfectly styled was a mess.

   “I was always visualizing Fiji for us, I know you’ve had enough of the cold.” She smirked, leaning against the wall. This isn't their first late night rendezvous. Always past peak hours, never the same place twice. “It’s never too late you know, we could elope, tell no one but ourselves.” Pushing off the wall, she met him in the center of the room.

   “I didn’t know it was physically possible for a Stark to not do everything to the nines.” Steve teased, pushing her persistent hair behind her ear.

   “I do still have my dress, go somewhere no one would recognize us.” She half-joked, looking up at him. He sighed and placed a kiss to her forehead, his eyes visibly sad

   “I wish we could, and I’m sorry it has to be this way-” Mason interrupted him with a quick kiss to his lips.

   “I fell in love you, and your good heart and stubborn mind.” She winked. “As long as you’re still mine, I don’t care.” She smiled, though it was all true, a part of her still broke at the dress in her closet, her Grandma Maria’s veil in the top drawer. Grandpa Howards old watch that she had restored for his wedding day present. It had been almost two years since the signing of the accords, and she had yet to move anything of his.

   “I love you too.” He kissed her, and she didn’t hold back, and it these moments she didn’t care about the accords, Ross, the UN, he was the love of her life and not too long ago she was planning for the wedding of her dreams.

   Now they are forced to one night escapes in foreign countries, back doors and hefty tips to hotel staff. And no matter how many nights she got to hold him, touch him, or feel him, she still had to go home to father who held a grudge like no other, and a UN board that wanted him arrested. She understood why, but she always found herself straddling the line. Leaning one way or the other. The nights were fun, the sex was great, but she always found herself in the cold night air, looking up, pretending her world didn’t have to be this way. Pretending that they were just some of the regular people walking below, lovers without a care in the world.

   She stood on the balcony, wrapped her robe, watching the stars. Steve was reading on their bed for the evening. She hated the silence after, but somehow it was better than getting closer just to leave again. And then she got angry, it had been too damn long and everyone involved was too damn stubborn.

   “Who would’ve thought this is where we would end up?” Mason breathed, spinning her ring around her finger, stepping back into their room. The super soldier perked up, placing his reading on the bedside table. She sat on the bed across from him.

   “I know, but doll you know we can’t-”

   “No. It’s not that we can’t, It’s that you won’t”. Steve looked at her like she had just slapped him in the face. “Scott and Clint have taken plea deals, Clint gets to wake up every day next to his wife and we get hotels in foreign countries and my father pestering me about still wearing my ring.”

    “I know it’s not the future we envisioned for ourselves at all, but I thought we both agreed that this was better than absolutely nothing.” There was that god damn silence again.

    “Ross is getting suspicious, my dad will defend me to his last dying breath but if we’re caught you go to jail and the board could file an injunction against me, lock me out of a company I haven’t a chance to prove to anyone I deserve. Natasha is desperately trying to cover for us but baby..” Mason sighed, walking back toward the balcony. “It’s been almost two years. I’ve held out hope that this would all return to normal by now but...I’m losing faith by the day.”

     “I thought you understood all of this, why I’m so against it all.”

    “Yeah, but while you get to hide in peace under T’Challa’s wing, I get newspapers and reporters expecting me to answer for you.” She was near yelling, and she couldn’t stop it. “Something has to give Steve. I cannot keep going home to an empty bed with your extra uniform still in our closet next to my dress. The months of silence and not knowing if your dead or alive.” Her tone was quieter, softer, hurt even.

    “No one said it was going to be easy.” Steve stood up from the bed, following her to the edge of the room.

    “We need to stop this before my dad finds out or worse, we’re caught by the UN.” Tears started to fall down Mason’s cheeks.

    “Is that what you want?” He asked, placing his hands on her shoulders.

    “None of this is what I want. But I can’t- We can’t keep having one hand in the rain and one hand in the desert.” She sighed. “As much as I wish we could keep this up, it’s not who we are.”

    “I’ll head out then.” Steve turned, wiping his cheeks.

    “The room is booked till morning, we might as well keep it.”

     And that they did. Neither of them slept much, sometimes they talked with words, others their bodies spoke in the languages they could never force themselves to voice. And just like he promised, he was gone that morning, for good this time.

I'd kiss you as the lights went out

Swaying as the room burned down

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

If I could dance with you again

Chapter Text

    “Please tell me it’s a lie.” Tony stood in the middle of his daughter's room. “I came in last night to ask if you or Pepper was attending the charity dinner tonight, and you were gone. I asked FRIDAY where you were and she said it was classified.”

    “Dad-” Mason swallowed, the air she tried to breathe felt thick.

    “I stood before the Secretary, telling him my daughter would never do such a thing. And now..” He sighed, Mason still had her purse on her shoulder, she had barely been home an hour. “Now you’re taking the jet to random countries, disabling every GPS possible, keeping secrets, your ring is still on and that hickey on your neck is definitely not from two years ago.” He was starting to yell, god he hated yelling at her. But she was standing there, silent. “Mason Elizabeth I have loved you from when you were a pink line on a piss test but you better fess up right now, because if I go through another accord hearing, looking like the oblivious idiot who doesn’t know what his own daughter was up to I’m going to lose it.”

    “Do you remember when you came home from Afghanistan?” She blankly stared through the windows of her room.

    “What about it?” Tony answered, leaning against her vanity.

    “You came home to three wrecked Audi’s and an empty liquor cabinet.” She turned to face her father, his smile grew softly.

    “And you swore they were like that before I left.” He scoffed. “Even though your shoulder was banged up pretty bad and your head was split open from the steering wheel.”

    “I drank myself into oblivion while you were gone. Jarvis would call Uncle Rhodey at 3 am some nights because I would need to go to the hospital.” She looked down at her shoes, slightly embarrassed at the memory. “I would go down to your workshop and scream, I would break things, I wouldn’t sleep unless I passed out from the liquor. By month two, I had to live with him to even seem like I was holding it together. Happy would drag me to board meetings, I was a disaster.”

    “Rhodey never told me that.”

    “None of us wanted to. You were so guilty when you found the cars, everything else would’ve been overkill.” She sighed. “I never wanted to feel like that again. But then Germany happened. I watched the most important people of my life fire at each other from across an airport, and I felt like riding a liquor cabinet at the reality of having to choose.” Mason choked down a sob. “So I didn’t.”  Her eyes welled up and she tried to blink them away. It was a sad realization, how quickly life had changed. “I’m stuck in the most painful moments of my life. When I’m home, the man I love is an outlaw and I have the government asking me for his whereabouts, and when I’m with him, I’m looking double over my shoulder, preparing to have them burst in and have us both arrested.”

    Tony sighed, crossing his arms and stuck in thought for a moment. When he finally spoke he spoke a lot softer than she expected “Ross is a lot closer on your tail then you think, you need to lay low.” He walked toward his daughter, placing his hand on her shoulder. “I know you don’t want to, but take that ring off, it’s only feeding the demons on your shoulder.”

    She nodded quietly, letting the tears fall this time.

    “Be my date to the charity dinner tonight, give Pepper a night of rest.” Tony wiped her cheeks and smiled at her. “Plus, I think the press misses our love and affection.”

    "That's one way to put it." Mason laughed. “You’re not mad?”

    “Oh trust me I was pissed but.. then you came home looking like someone shot your dog..” Her father headed toward the door. “Something tells me that was the last time.”

    She stayed silent, slipped her ring off and placed it into its velvet box.

“   Happy will be here in an hour, get dressed.” He called out, leaving her room and heading to his floor.