Chapter Text
"In my life, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die?"
(The Smiths, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now)
Starkiller Base, some years ago
The cold light that entered through the transparent barrier on the north side of the command deck imparted a discreet gray glow to the ceiling, to the floor and to the close surroundings, but it was not strong enough to reach the back of the place. The outskirts of the entrance and the corridors of the bridge depended on the brightness of the computer screens to be used safely by the officials who came and went with news about the progress of Starkiller Base activities.
Millicent used to think night shift would be less unpleasant, for the soft lights of the ceiling would be turned on, and the thick snow on the outside would be hidden behind the invisible wall; replacing it there would be darkness, so deep that at first glance the barrier looked like a wall not differing in anything from the other ones. But there was no remedy: her shift was the day shift, and in the past few weeks, with all the setbacks concerning the Resistance and their allies, no one should expect to have their request for a shift chang heeded with no justification but tired eyes.
The truth is that Millicent’s working table was closer to the center of the room, and her chair was immediately next to one of the main corridors, which made her exits easier and cleared part of her peripheral vision. She would have to admit that her position was not as uncomfortable as that of some of her teammates. Lately, thoughts like this were keeping her awake during work, more than the medication prescribed for her on her current visits to the ward. The table where she spent her day was not the worst one; neither was the corridor, nor the occupants of the neighboring tables. So, what was keeping her from thinking unconcernedly about her work?
But she was good at creating subtle methods to escape from boredom: several months in that job taught her to take advantage of the slightest opportunities. But the most interesting part was to observe things without letting anyone notice what she was doing.
And with the fuzz caused by the news about the movements of the enemy base, there was too much to observe.
The sliding noise of the metallic door behind her was heard, and she did not have to look to see who was entering the command deck: as soon as the noise had ceased, the shade of a black cloak and the heavy steps of feet in boots covered the distance between the corridor and the platform in front of the barrier at a speed above human capacity, and the tall figure of Kylo Ren stopped in front of General Armitage Hux, speaking harshly through his mask and clenching his fists.
Ren's feet moved so restless that Millicent thought the floor was burning underneath them; by the sudden movements of the mask towards his surroundings, he must have been waiting to be attacked at any moment. Millicent shared her attention between the computer screen and the conversation at the platform, even though she could not understand what they were saying.
She was not surprised to see how much General Hux was displeased with the conversation: his dislike for Ren was no secret to the people of the Base, and every encounter between those two was a anything less than a battle. But she would not mind the constant conflicts between one's coldness and the other's bursts of anger if they did not alter the environment of her workplace: Kylo's presence was dense as the color of his suit and caustic as the heat of his lightsaber, and the General's mood got worse at every apparition of him.
The conversation ended abruptly like all the others before it: Ren received a brief, rough reply from Hux that made him turn his back in an untimely manner and run back through the same corridor that led him there. Millicent was staring at her computer screen as he passed by her, but from the corner of her eye she noticed that the tip of his cloak almost curled up on the side of the desk. She felt more than grateful to hear the door closing behind him; she did not want to wonde what could happen if the incident with the cloak concretized right next to her. But now the room returned to the quiet and watchful calm before his arrival.
Taking all the care she could to not neglect her tasks, she observed General’s shadow on the floor going from right to left, in accordance with his slow, contained steps on the black platform. He walked with his hands behind his back, frowning, sometimes stopping and starting again as if he was tracing that path for the first time, his gaze alternating between the ground before him and the snow outside. Everyone there had a lot to worry about, but no one has more worries on his back than him. Millicent thought that it would have been better if he had received the news from someone else than the Supreme Leader’s apprentice: two or three times, she saw Hux take a deep breath and stiffen his jaw while the other spoke.
However, it was nothing but intriguing that Hux never lost his control when facing Kylo Ren's explosions: during the conversation, he did not look at anything but the black mask, and his feet remained quiet in their place, showing no intention to move; moreover, his voice did not make itself heard beyond the platform, while the shouts coming out of from Kylo’s seemed to arrive unintelligible to the all corners of the room. Watching them together was like witnessing an encounter between lava and snow.
Millicent felt a sudden irritation coming up her throat. She couldn’t find out what his fellow officers thought about it, but if she would get the permission, she would ask countless questions to her superior about that episode... as well as about all the others. How could he possibly endure such things day after day? How could he reconcile the justifiable burden of his work with the additional causes of disgust? How could he still be able to keep up with the demands o Supreme Leader Snoke despite the painful conditions he had to go through? She could not conceive any kind of compensation that would be worth so much effort, but if that was the case, Armitage Hux's prospects were stronger than anyone could have guessed. It was possible that he meditated on them every time he went through difficulties, as if to strengthen them. But there was no way to be sure: the General's closed, thoughtful expression gave her no clues, and Millicent decided she was better to put aside such distractions and take care of her own work.
The girl's attention was interrupted for the second time by the door’s opening. She looked at the chrono at the inferior corner of her computer’s screen and stiffened in her chair. She knew the footsteps that approached better than she wanted.
The presence of the pair of officers who had just arrived was even less pleasant than Kylo Ren's. She knew the officer on the left side only from sight, and from what she could remember, he never paid her any attention; his companion on the right, however, had decided to make Millicent's work a trial.
Earlier that week, they entered the room in their professional manner, and she kept minding her business without showing any interest in their arrival, until she felt some fingertips touching her neck; the shock was so strong that she almost jumped out of her chair. She looked up and saw that officer on the right giving her an indiscreet look and smiling with the corner of his mouth while his colleague followed him without noticing anything. They reached the platform, the General turned to them, a quick conversation took place and then the two men returned the same way, but she was so embarrassed that she did not see them passing, although she felt the officer's eyes all over her. The girl spent all day thinking about the episode and avoided leaving the room for the risk of meeting the man in the corridors, but a few days were enough for her to forget the subject.
However, it happened again during that week, at the same time and with the same individual, with a slight variation: his fingers also touched her ear this time. Millicent startled again, but a sparkle of indignation lit up with the repetition of the case and the apparent blindness of the people around her, and she had cultivated the wrath since that day.
She was more than ready when the man's hand reached the back of her neck. Without delay, she turned in her chair and grabbed the officer's wrist with her right hand; the joint made a horrible sound as it was twisted behind his back, and a sharp shriek of pain spread across the bridge.
Millicent stood up as she held the man's arm, pushing his head against the table; his cap got lost somewhere on the floor; he grumbled unintelligibly, his face pressed against the dark surface.
- You...! - she yelled a swear word as she held the man by his hair; her fingers pinched his jaw, forcing him to look at her - I'll speak in a way that you understand: touch me again and I’ll rip your fingers off and make you eat them one by one!
The officer's brown eyes widened, and his mouth opened in a ridiculously surprised expression; however, his face soon twisted with rage, and he mumbled something that made Millicent raise her fist toward his face.
But the punch did not reach its destination.
She felt her wrist held with a firmness that paralyzed her arm. At the same time, she saw the officer's face fade as his eyes drifted from her to whoever was now standing beside them. She followed his look and found General Hux with his hand closed around her fist; the icy disgust in his eyes caused violent shivers over the man's body, which had lost his voice.
The General released Millicent’s wrist without paying attention to her. She took a step back and put her hands behind her back.
His voice sounded in a metallic command:
- On your feet.
The man obeyed as best he could with the tremors and the injured arm. Hux glanced at the two Stormtroopers standing at both sides of the entrancing door. When they approached, the order was immediate:
- Take him.
Then he turned to the second officer.
- Wait on the platform. I will talk to you when I come back.
The officer murmured in dismay, "Yes, sir," and hurried off down the corridor.
At last he turned to the girl, speaking in a low but equally harsh tone:
- You. Follow me.
He crossed the hall and through the door without looking back, followed by Millicent.