Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The building was falling apart. Dust and debris were raining the air in a thick hazardous cloud and Foggy has to duck his head to inhale a clean rush of air into his lungs. The earth beneath them continued to violently shake the structure above them apart. The wood and steel panels of the warehouse creak and groan and seconds later he can hear the glass windows shatter at the pressure of the walls start to give in. 

He could her other people screaming and crying in horror from other parts of the building and even people from the higher floors. He felt his stomach drop at having to accept that he was in no condition to help any of them except for his partner who was currently passed out in front of him after pushing Foggy away from a large chunk of falling wood that would've thrown him to the floor and had instead hit Matt on the head hard enough to knock him out.

"Matt. Matt come on wake up. Come on Matt I can't do this alone. You gotta give me some help here bud", Foggy shakes his best friend as vigorously as he can while leaning his broken arm as close to his chest as possible. "Come on Matty. Come on wake up please. I can't save you alone. I need you. Come on Matt I need you"

But his partner doesn't stir. There was a small puddle of blood slowly trickling down his temple from his head wound, his hair matted in wet clumps with it. 

A large chunk of the roof caves in and Foggy screams. He jumps to his feet, terror for both his and Matt's life helping him ignore how his broken arm swayed painfully at his side and grabs Matt collar by the other.

"Come on. Come on Nelson"

It's slow and tedious but slowly Foggy manages to inch Matt away from the falling chunks of steel and wood to the underground basement a few feet away.

Foggy's panting and whimpering in pain by the time to they reach the open hatch door but the sound chunks of metal and wood keep falling around them and the roaring sound they make as they whistle pass and slam against the ground - like creatures waiting to devour them both - keep him moving despite how much the pain wanted to make him cry out.

Tugging Matt down the wooden stairs was a lot easier but still slow because Foggy was trying to make sure neither of them would slipped and fall. The sound of the building falling around them was muffled underneath the roof of the basement.

Foggy is racing back up the stairs to close the hatch door when a loud thunderous moan of straining wood rattles above him. Foggy doesn't make it upstairs far enough to reach the latch and pull the hatch close. A large metal beam falls merely inches away from him and breaks the hatch door right of its hinges while another large chunk of the roofing falls through the entryway onto the basement stairs and collapses it right beneath him. 

Foggy screams as he falls and the last thing he sees before his head hits the cement floor is the sight of the entire roof caving in above him before everything goes black.

Foggy wakes up slowly to the pain of something rough and heavy shifting on his stomach. Feeling thankful for once for the flab covering his abdominal muscles that help push back the weight slightly as to not cave in his abdomen entirely.

"Come on. Move. Move! Argh. Fuck. "

He blinks a few times before his eyes and ears manage to decipher the voice and form of his best friend beside him who was trying to push away the heaviness that was weighing Foggy down.

He moans when the rough edges of the debris dig deeper into his skin. 

"Ok this hurts a lot more than that time when I got punched by Brett for destroying his bike."

Matt stops and reaches out to touch his face. "Foggy? Hey try to stay still ok buddy. I'll get this stuff off of you."

The small slabs of rock and metal continue to move as Matt tries his hardest to gingerly haul the heaviest of them off of him.

Foggy tries to regain his faculties enough to take note of his surroundings.

The wreckage and remains of the warehouse were scattered around them in a hazardous mess but the roof of their small place of refuge was still intact and from what Foggy can tell, Matt seemed to be uninjured enough to move with little pain. Though the unfocused look in his eyes told him that Matt was probably hiding some injuries and holding back a severe headache from a major concussion. Blood was still running down his face in narrow rivulets that continuously dripped off his chin. Foggy couldn't help but remember that head wounds tended to bleed a lot and he wondered worriedly how much blood Matt had lost during the time that lapses between his unconscious state and his current one.

And judging from how 'six pack, I can beat 10 people at once' Murdock was finding it difficult to muster enough strength to move the rubble above him, it was definitely affecting him more than he would probably like to admit.

The one time his suit and helmet would've been useful in protecting his best friend and they get trapped in a situation while they were both just civilians. Of all the random things in the world it was an earthquake that caught them both off guard.

He raises his uninjured arm - thank god it wasn't buried as well - to tug at Matt's sleeve.

"Matt. Matt, I think you need to take a breather. You're losing a lot of blood. If you keep at it, you're gonna pass out"

Matt was panting heavily but he didn't stop his efforts of digging Foggy out. "I can keep going. I just need to move a little more of this and get you free first"

Knowing that his best friend was going to continue to ignore anything he had to say on the matter, he let his hand drop but glued his eyes to his friends face to make sure he wasn't going to overexert and pull himself back to unconsciousness.

A pretty large bit of debris moves on top of him and suddenly the cement held up by what little was left of the wire rods above them both shift with a groan that sent large chunks of rubble raining down on them, threatening to crush them both.

Foggy immediately held his hand up to cover his face but Matt instead curled himself protectively around Foggy and took the brunt of the damage.

The sound of falling cement tapered off after a while and Matt shook off the dust and rocks that had fallen onto his back.

The both shared a look of horrified understanding that was only broken when Foggy gave what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug.

"Looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while"

 Hours passed - Matt keeping track of the time using his watch that had miraculously survived with nothing but some scratches - and they both got worried that no one was coming for them at all until Matt's head jerked up at something that only he can hear.

"The emergency crew is getting closer. I can hear them digging through the wreckage nearer than before. But it's sounding like it's getting harder to dig out the bigger slabs of debris. They're trying to be careful to make sure they don't shift anything that might fall on any survivors and hurt or kill them. There's some talk about bringing in some heavy machinery soon."

Foggy wiggle's a bit where's he's lying on the hard floor, trying to get comfortable. Well as comfortable as you can be when you're buried under a literal building.

He leans his back on the palm of his working arm that's he's managed to move up to cushion the back of his head. "Sounds fantastic. Took them long enough"

Matt's head turns towards him in the way it does when he's about to talk to him. Knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. "You doing ok?"

Foggy tries not to think about how his lower limbs are starting to feel numb, though Matt can probably tell that his breathing was starting to get more laboured. "Peachy. A little hungry though"

Matt can't help but smile. "I could go for some Thai later on the way home. I haven't had anything all day except half of that bagel you stole from me"

"In my defence it was a really good bagel. It's not fair. You always know where to find the best food. Oh my god! Matt, you're a foodie! You're one of those hipster 'influencers' that go around looking for picture perfect foods even if it's on the other side of town cause you have no sense of just making your life easier. Do you have an Instagram Matty? Is it full of pictures of your workout routine and disgustingly healthy green smoothies?"

"Nah, just some pictures of my abs, the occasional bragging and showing off my model hot dates. Not that I actually know what they look like of course."

"I can't believe I'm best friends with a handsome little duckling hipster. You've probably got all your followers swooning every time you post a selfie."

"You literally dressed like a hobo in college Foggy. Forgive me if I don't take your perspective on self-grooming seriously. But sure, I get a few dozen swooning followers every now and then"

"Must be such a pain to have to turn them all down"

"Excruciating" Matt says with an upturn of his lips.

Foggy's about to tease him about it a little more when suddenly Matt stiffens. Fingers curling into a loose fist that rub against each other in an agitated manner and his shoulders hunch up like he's trying hard not to cup his palm over his ears.

"Hey," Foggy calls out soothingly, "are they getting louder?"

Matt shakes his head. A part of him wants to keep himself from talking about it entirely. Half because he just wants to ignore it and half because he wants to spare Foggy the gruesome details. 

But he knows that ignoring what he's hearing is a futile endeavour and it would actually be more helpful to just talk about it rather than hide it. Not to mention Foggy's always urging him to be more honest in opening up to him. Appreciating how Matt's is learning to curl back the habit of hiding himself behind his walls.

"It's getting quieter" he says.

"How many of them are left?"

Matt cocks his head to the side, focusing on his surroundings. "30 I think. The heartbeat of 5 of them from before have sort of become muted. I don't know if they've passed out or the aid crew managed to dig them out.", Matt's not sure if he wants to know which is it.

"Can you still tell which of them are still sticking around?"

Matt goes silent again for a moment, "The lady on the fifth floor stopped crying a while ago, I think the kids on our right are sleeping but their dad is still awake, the two teenagers in our left are talking about sports - I think they're trying to distract themselves- and the rest that are close by are talking in hushed tones and I can't really tell what they're saying. About 8 of them are too far for me to hear what they're doing but I can still hear their heart beats"

Foggy nods appreciatively, "That's good. They're all trying to keep each other company. That's probably gonna help them stay strong for the next few hours till the paramedics can get to them"

Foggy shimmy's a little bit more, trying to ease the weight that's crushing down on his pelvic bone. But winces when the movement jostles his broken arm.

Matt instantly inches himself closer, hand flitting forward to grip Foggy's shoulder, "Hey, how you're doing?"

"Not great but still kicking. You?"

"I'm fine." Matt assures him but Foggy gives him a sceptical look.

Matt is swaying a bit from the dizziness, blood still running down the side of his face though it's slowed to a trickle. They'd pressed Matt's jacket over it at first but when their surroundings got darker and the air around them got colder Matt had put it back on and scuttled even closer to Foggy. Not that it really helped either of them stay warm since it's hard to share body heat when the other person has half his body buried away. Matt's wincing with every breath he takes from his bruised ribs and he was leaning most of body on his right side to leave his left broken ankle from being weighted down. Foggy can tell that he would prefer stretching it out completely if there was actually any room for it.

"You know I have eyes, right?" Foggy retorts.

Matt raises an eyebrow, "I think that's ableism. Reminding a blind man of what he doesn't have", he makes a tutting sound of faux disapproval, "I expected more from a cum laud graduate of Columbia"

"It's not ableism if said disabled is a masochistic asshole who parkours over rooftops for fun"

"Touché"

 "How many are them are left?"

"23"

"The kids?"

".... I can't hear them"

 Foggy's peripheral vision is starting to darken. He finds it hard to hear much unless he's concentrating and his attempts at banter with his best friend is getting slower.

"Hey Foggy, stay awake ok. They're getting really close and it's not gonna take much longer now"

Foggy wheezes out a breath, "It's ok, I'm just daydreaming about the pizza I'm gonna order when we're back home. Large all meat pizza with extra onions and cheese"

"Tell me more about it"

"About the pizza?"

"Sure. I'm going to order that fresh basil mozzarella and pepperoni from El-Salvador's"

"There you go again with that hipster food. That pizza cost almost twice the price of the take away near my place."

"They use 100% percent fresh ingredients and it's completely worth the price. Besides, when we get out of here it's totally an occasion worthy of fancy pizza. I'll treat you"

"Deal. You get the pizza and I'll pay for the Thai"

"We're still getting the Thai?"

"We are still definitely getting the Thai"

"Sometimes I don't know whether to be amazed by your appetite or horrified"

"You complain enough about the Cheetos I buy to snack on at the office"

"Those things are drenched in chemicals and preservatives and I will continue throwing them away when I find your stash"

"The game isn't fair when you can smell it with your super powers"

It's too dark to tell but Foggy thinks he can make out Matt's silhouette tapping the bridge of his nose, "The nose knows"

That's startles a chuckle out of Foggy but the rumble of his chest aggravates the rubble above them and send dust into the air. Triggering a coughing fit that racks horribly in his chest.

Matt's grip on his shoulder tightens.

"Just a bit more Fog. We're going to get out of here soon"

Foggy nods because really that's the only thing he can do.

 "Hey Matty?"

"Yeah Foggy?"

"I could sure use a toilet right now"

Matt chuckles, " me too"

 "Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm getting... really sleepy"

"Come on buddy, you gotta keep me company."

"Ok"

 "Hey Matt? 

"Hmmm..."

"I'm just gonna.... gonna close my eyes for a bit ok"

Foggy can hear Matt scramble forward and wincing when it pushes his injured ankle against the ground. "Hey stay with me Fog. Keep your eyes open ok", he sounds lethargic. Foggy feels bad for thinking about letting himself rest when Matt is busy worrying about him.

But he's so tired and it's getting really hard to breath.

"Just for a little while Matty. Just a short nap"

He can hear Matt calling his name but his eyes are already closed and the sound of his voice slowly tapers off before going completely silent as Foggy lets himself go to sleep.

Chapter Text

The shift of cement.

The sound of workers calling for survivors just above them.

A sudden unsteady thrum of a pulse

A final puff of air from lungs that still

The only heart beat that matters fades to nothing

Silence.

.

.

.

Nothing has ever felt so loud.

"No. No no no no no no no. No Foggy. Foggy wake up. Foggy come on. They're here. Foggy! Wake up!"

A flurry of thoughts pass through Matt's mind.

CPR. Chest compressions. Mouth to mouth resuscitation.

He can do this. He needs to do this

'1'

'2'

'3'

'4'

'5'

'6'

'7'

'8'

'9'

'10'

“Stay with me For. Breathe. Come on Foggy. Breathe Don’t do this to me.”

‘11'

'12'

'13'

'14'

'15'

'16'

'17'

'18'

'19'

'20’

“They’re close Fog. Just a few more minutes. Come on. Come on!”

‘21'

'22'

'23'

'24'

'25'

'26'

'27'

'28'

'29'

'30’

“Foggy come back! Foggy please! Not him, Not him God please. Don’t take him. Not him. Let someone stay for once goddammit!”

‘One breath, Two breaths’

Nothing.

Matt barely notices when the diggers finally reach them and pull him back as they start to dig his best friend out as fast as they can. One of them taking over the chest compressions. Someone drapes a blanket over his shoulder an attempts to haul him to his feet. He pulls away from their grip and crawls back to Foggy's side. Hands scrambling across the rough debris till he finds Foggy's cold limps fingers and he grips it tight as if somehow he could help keep Foggy there with him if he holds on hard enough.

His mouth whispers a prayer. He can't remember the last time he's prayed so relentlessly for a miracle.

The prayer ends and he's left with nothing to say on his lips except for desperate hushed pleas.

Not him. Please. Please God, not him.....

Let this be enough. God please, for once let it be enough.

Chapter Text

“Welcome back to the land of the living"

Foggy blinks a few dozen times. Trying to make out the fuzzy shape in front of him. 

Brown hair. Blue scrubs. Voice dripping with exasperation at the amount of stupid people in the world.

"Claire?", he calls out and hears a soft chuckle.

"Hey thug life. You with me or are you still up in dream world?"

Foggy moves his head too quickly and immediately expresses his regret at doing so with a pained groan. "Depends, does the real world come with a migraine and a dry throat?"

Claire responds by holding up a glass of water with a straw to his lips that he gratefully accepts. The cold water soothing as it runs down his throat. He finishes 2 glass full before he shakes his head when Claire asks if he wants another

"Matt's gonna be ecstatic. But he might kill me for sending him home for a shower on the one day you actually wake up", Claire says as she refills the glass anyway.

"Better you than me." Foggy amends before realization hits him and his eyes snap open, "Wait, Matt was here? Is he ok? How bad was he hurt? Is he- "

"Relax. Deep breathes. Matt's fine. He was a bit of a handful but he's fine"

Foggy is still taking deep lungfuls of air from the cannula he'd only just noticed but he manages to wince in sympathy, "Oh no, what did he do?"

He feels the genuine worry in his chest abate at the humorous smile flashing across Claire's lips. 

"You know I thought it would be easier to treat him in a hospital but apparently he's just as bad at listening to instructions no matter where he is. Especially when you're under the same roof"

"What did he do?" Foggy ask's again but this time with a lightness in his voice.

"He snuck away from his bedroom and went looking for you on two whole floors on a very broken ankle. The doctors were close to just cuffing him to his bed. I told them to just give him a wheel chair"

"I'm surprised they listened to you"

"It helps when he was threatening to check out AMA"

Foggy frowns. AMA isn't that..."Against Medical Advice?", he asked with no small hint of alarm in his voice.

Claire places a steady grip on his shoulder, "Don't worry. The wheelchair did the trick. He'd stay in his room long enough for check-ups but he'd spend the rest of the day in your room. He even had his meals in here. He probably would've wheeled over here himself if I hadn't told him -very discreetly- that it was probably a bad idea for a blind man to be able to find his way around a hospital so easily."

Foggy flashes her a thankful smile, "So he's-"

"Home," she finishes for him, "He was checked out 5 hours ago and your friend - Karen was it? - dragged him home for a shower and some clean clothes"

He lets out a chuckle. He turns away from her to survey his surroundings. Noticing his left leg being held up by a traction a few inches above his bed while he assumed his right was hidden under the sheets. 

But it's not till he tries to wiggle his toes that he realizes something was wrong. He tried to focus on the sensations near his lower right limb but-

"Claire, I can't- I can't feel my leg...", Foggy's eyes were wide and he didn't have the will to keep the tremble from his voice when his heart felt like it was sinking through his bed right to the floor. The monitors beside beeped loudly in support of his alarm

The sight of Claire's smile finally slipping off her lips only had him struggling to pull air into his lungs despite having oxygen being pumped right into his nostrils.

"Claire, my leg. I can't, Is it-"

"Hey no, it's ok", she moves down to his right side and gingerly pulls back the blankets at the lower end to reveal his right limb. "It's here. You're ok. Deep breaths Foggy"

He tries. He really does. He clenches and slowly unfurls the stiff fingers of his uninjured arm in time to every inhale and exhale of air. But he can't help seem to tamp down the panic that was still inching up his throat at the sight of his leg mottled an ugly mess of blue and purple red patches all over.

"Is it- what- why does it look like that?"

"Do you remember what happened Foggy?"

His eyebrows furrow as he closes his eyes so he can look through his memories without having to see his leg for too long.

"The earthquake. We got buried. I couldn't move"

Claire nods, "That seems about right. The paramedics managed to dig you guys up but it took a few hours. You were having breathing difficulties and the debris you were trapped under was cutting off your lower limb circulation. There were some severe complications by the time they managed to get you to the hospital. They got you here just in time to restart your blood flow before there could be any permanent damage"

Her words managed to ease the flurry of scattered thoughts in his head, "So it's fine? It'll go back to normal?"

Claire purses her lips as if she’s trying to find the best way to put her own thoughts into words. "It's healing. That's the best I can tell you that's certain. I'm not gonna lie to you Foggy. It'll take a long time for it to heal and you’re probably going to have to go through some physical therapy. But you're not going lose it"

Claire's voice is gentle and it manages to smooth most of his nerves that had been threatening to crawl right out of his skin from dread. But he found that waking up and receiving the subsequent revelation concerning his injuries were already enough to exhaust him. Slowly but surely his breathing began to taper off into a more calming rhythm and his eyes began to droop. But the blackness that came with him slowly losing consciousness reminded him too much of the suffocating darkness that he and Matt had been trapped in for hours. The terror barely kept at bay by each other’s presence from the ever-looming threat that the make shift ceiling of debris and rubble above them would finally bury them from the slightest mistake made by the emergency team trying to excavate them both.

"Claire..." he calls out fearfully and, in an instant, she's moved forward to rub careful circles on Foggy's chest just above his heart.

"Hey... " she hushes. A fond glint in her eye providing a comforting assurance that she wasn't just there as a medical practitioner but also as a friend. "It's ok, go to sleep. I'll call Matt and I'll be around if you need me"

He's not sure if he manages to nod appreciatively but he feels himself calming down at her reassuring smile just as he closes his eyes from the lethargy of waking up and allowing himself to be pulled into a deep sleep.

The second time Foggy wakes up, his eyes take a lot less longer to come to focus even though his brain still needed some time to piece together enough information to recognize who this new person in front of him was.

"Hey partner", Karen says, smiling up at him from where she's sitting on what's probably one of those hard, uncomfortable hospital chairs.

Foggy couldn't hold back his ever-widening grin if he tried, "Hello fellow associate. Holding down the fort ok?"

She lets out an unladylike scoff "Please, at this point I might as well throw a coupe and kick you both out. How does 'The Private Investigative Firm of Karen Page' sound to you?" 

"A bit on the nose. Nah, you'd miss me too much"

Karen's smile stays the same but her eyes seem to twinkle with a familiar keen affection. She comes forwards and rests her chin on his stomach pillowed by his right hand that was held in hers with her face looking up fondly at him. She leans forward close enough to have her free arm wrap around Foggy’s middle in a weird attempt at a one-sided hug. "I really would"

They enjoy the amicable and comforting silence between them for a while before Foggy's eyebrows pique upwards at the realization of who should be here as well. 

"Did you come here with Matt?"

Karen moves, "He's getting checked up" She says. Smoothing out her hair where it was a bit mussed up from resting against him. "Claire let him look at you for a full 15 minutes before dragging him away"

"Is he ok?"

"He's fine. Claire's just being cautious. She was half convinced he was going to go jumping on rooftops to sneak his way to see you the second he got home."

"I'm surprised he didn't"

Karen lets out a thoughtful hum, "I'd like to think he's grown a bit more common sense from hanging out with both of us again. Though I guess it helped that we slept at his place and I hid his suit at mine"

"Nicely done Miss Page. Though what's this about you having any actual common sense? You're just as bad as he is!"

"I am not!"

"Karen you hang out with Frank Castle and write exposes on the criminal underworld for fun. You're like the Lois Lane of all three of us"

She purses her lips but gives him a contemplative and appreciative nod, "I wouldn't mind being Lois Lane. Matt would probably be Batman in that case"

"Emotionally constipated, martyr complex, 'lone man on a mission' crap? Sounds perfect. But then who am I?"

"You're Foggy Nelson of course"

"Doesn't have as much pizazz"

"Please, if this were a comic book, you'd be reduced a side character and I'd be a damsel in distress that probably gets killed off for the hero’s man-pain or something just as unreasonably stupid"

"That's fair. Though it would help this poor heart of mine if neither of you went and took it upon yourselves to piss of filthy rich criminals and kingpins in your spare time"

"And yet you're the one who's ended up in the hospital 3 times in the past 4 years. Somethings not adding up there"

"Thank god for health insurance"

Karen chuckles, lifting her hand to run it through her friend's hair, "I really am glad you're ok Foggy. You are ok right?"

Foggy tries not to think of the mess of a limb he can't really feel that's hiding under his blanket.

"I'm getting there" he says and the simple stroke of Karen's fingers in his hair tells him that she probably already knows. 

"We'll be right here Foggy. Every step of the way. Whatever you need partner"

Her words are filled to the brim with all the confidence and determination she seems capable of mustering up and Foggy feels a familiar fond warmth bloom in his chest at his luck of getting her both as a first case and a friend.

"Thank you, Karen", he whispers back and that seems to be enough for both of them. At least for now.

 "Matt, are we ok? 

His partner in question looks up from the documents neatly arranged on the borrowed over bed table, "What? Why would you ask that? Of course, we are"

Foggy takes a deep breath and continues to study the stiff way his best friend is sitting on his chair and doesn’t point out Matt hadn’t bothered to take off his glasses despite them both being the only people in the room or how he had barely said a word other than a cursory hello and short stilted replies to anything Foggy said. It was better to just get straight to the point. To not beat around the bush and allow Matt to put his defenses up.

"Because it doesn't feel like it. Somethings wrong. Claire told me you were here the whole time I was asleep but now you rarely come by when I'm awake other than that first day and it’s been a week-"

"I told you Fog, I was just busy catching up with some work at the firm-"

"-when I do catch you here, we don't really talk and you don't even try. You just sit there and pay attention to anything but me. Sometimes I even catch you fidgeting or tapping your foot like you want to leave but you don't want to hurt my feelings."

"Foggy-"

"Matt, I don't- I can't be there for you if you don't let me. You promised me when we started the firm again that you'd be honest and transparent with me about everything. Including the stuff that keeps you up at night and make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning and I'm here for it buddy. All the way. Whatever you need but you have to let me in. Was it the earthquake? Did it trigger something? Have you talked to your therapist?"

"No, foggy that's not... just leave it alone ok"

"Matt, I'm not trying to push you. I just want you to be ok. I want us to be ok. You don't have to talk about it right now but I just want you to realize that there's something wrong. We don't have to do anything until you're ready but at least we can make sure that you don't get worse"

"Foggy I'm fine-"

"Matt-"

"Foggy just leave it!"

"No! I know you don't like this but I just want you to be honest "

"Foggy stop!"

"Matt-"

His best friend slams his palm down on the over bed table before leaping to his feet so suddenly that Foggy reflexively flinches away.

"You died alright! You died! You fell asleep and you left me alone and I could barely hear you breathe and I've never felt that helpless since my dad died. I knew I was losing you and there was nothing I could do to save you. When they finally found us, your heart stopped. It stopped beating Foggy. You died and they wouldn't let me ride the ambulance with you and I was so fucking scared."  

Matt's voice is spilling out of him with a sharp and bitter bite that Foggy has never had the experience to be at the receiving end off. Every word cloaked with anger that hits Foggy like needle sharp bullets. But if Matt notices his reaction, he can't seem to make himself stop. Foggy's needling has levered open a pandora's box of turmoil and tightly coiled fury but for Foggy, worse of all was knowing that he was the cause of it.

Matt rips of his glasses and raises a hand to run his fingers through his hair before curling it into a tight fist. "When I finally woke up in the hospital, I couldn't hear you or smell you and I thought-", he swallows and takes a shuddering breath, "-I thought they couldn't save you. That you really were dead. And I was so angry Fog. So angry and for one horrible second, I hated you. Because you left me just like everyone else and I hated you for it because you weren't supposed to leave. You came back and you said we were partners again but I thought you died and left me and I hated you"

Matt brings down his hand to cover his eyes but Foggy can see his bottom lip quiver and he knows that Matt was trying hard to hold back a sob. Somehow the sight of his best friends struggling to deal with his emotions hurt Foggy more than Matt's anger had.

"I know I wasn't being fair", Matt continues after he manages to get the tremble in his voice under control, "-because you've always tried to be there. Even when I pushed you away. Even when you were with Hogarth. Even when I was passed out on a roof or bleeding out or convinced that I was going to have to kill Fisk, you didn't leave and you protected me from myself and you always put me first even when I always put the city and even Elektra before you. It made me realized I didn't hate you for leaving. I hated myself because I thought I'd lost you and I never showed you how much you meant to me. It was all my fault. I was supposed to protect you but instead you had to protect me and it almost cost you your life and that just didn't seem like a fair trade"

Foggy waits till he’s sure Matt is done before he says, "Buddy I feel that way every time I get home, knowing that you're out there fighting armed criminals with nothing but your fists and the fact that I let you." Foggy knows that this was maybe not the best time to raise an old argument but he didn’t know what other way to explain to Matt why he felt as protective of him as the latter did Foggy. "I accepted that you had to do it but if something happened to you, I knew I would never stop blaming myself for not trying harder to stop you. I've been there Matt. I've gone through what it felt like to try and support you on the side-lines and I ended up losing you for it. I couldn’t sleep after that without nightmares every night, showing me that maybe if I hadn’t given you your suit at the station, maybe I'd still have you"

It was Foggy's turn to pull a lungful of air, grit his teeth and carefully blink back tears that threatened to fall. "I couldn’t do that again Matt. I won't, and I'm not going to stop trying to help you and protect you how I can - even if apparently that includes natural disasters cause we both can't seem to catch a break - but I can't stop and I don't want to"

"I know Foggy. And I know I said I was done apologising but I didn't really consider how my choice to be Daredevil affected you. I thought that if you couldn't accept Daredevil then you could just leave and I'd be able to accept that. It would take a long time but I’d deal with it. I never realised how terrifying it would actually be to possibly lose you for good. Knowing that this was what you had to deal with every day- I'm so sorry Fog."

"It's ok Matt. I get it. I don't blame you for choosing to do what you do. At least not anymore. I think what really hurt me was really just how easy it seemed for you to just put the city over me like our friendship didn't mean anything. Like I didn't mean anything. But I know it was because you're just so used to people leaving that it was just easier to expect me to leave than hoping I would stay"

"Doesn't make it right that I didn't at least try to understand what it's like for you. I just expected you to be the one to accommodate my choices because I felt that helping the city my way was more important than what we had. You've been my best friend for 10 years. You've been there and cared for me when you didn't have too. More than anyone ever did since my dad died and I never even really appreciated that as much as I should've. You mean so much to me Foggy and I'm sorry that it took you dying for me to realise that I wasn't ready to lose you. I don't think I ever want to be ready to lose you."

"It's fine Matty. I'm ok", Foggy soothes. The words 'you won't' hung in the air but both of them knew that in light of recent events, it wasn't a promise that either of them could make.

"How did you realise I was still alive?" Foggy asked in an attempt to stir them both away from the fear of the unknown.

Matt sat back down, both hands rubbing calming streaks on the fabric of his jeans from his hip to knee, "Karen... She walked in on me trying to tear out my IV and told me you were in the ICU. She said that you were stable but you were in the intensive care and I was terrified you weren't going to wake up. I sat here every day to make sure you were still breathing. But then you woke up and I realised I didn't actually know what to do or what to say or even where to start and a part of me was afraid you wouldn't want me. That I was too late"

"It wasn’t your fault. I mean earthquakes weren't really in the pamphlet I got for “ What to do When Your Best Friend Turns Out to be a Vigilante". But I think we both made it out ok", Foggy says. He makes to lift himself up a bit but the small movement was enough to send jolts of painful spasms running up his injured leg.

Matt's at his side instantly, the bed remote in hand to adjust the cot to Foggy's preference and to help Foggy lean forward so he could shift the pillows around to better support his back.

Foggy catches Matt glancing down his leg with his forehead creased into a frown and he quickly reaches out a hand to catch Matt's elbow before the other man could move back to his seat.

"That's not your fault either you know" Foggy says with a tender squeeze of Matt's arm. Matt has his face turned away but Foggy can tell from the way he's standing so stiffly that he was fighting the urge to bolt right out the door.

A few minutes pass before Matt turns to him with his free hand brought up to Foggy's wrist. He doesn’t miss how Matt has it wrapped in a way that has his thumb resting on his pulse point.

"I know", he says but Foggy's known his best friend long enough to notice a lie when he hears it.

But he doesn’t point it out. Doesn’t say a word. Because he knows he doesn’t need to. That it’s not what Matt needs right now. Matt has many issues as there are stars in the sky and if Foggy's learned anything in the past decade of their friendship, trauma knotted tight like that doesn’t just uncoil with a few choice words and the power of friendship.

Five years ago, the thought that he was useless friend to Matt might have scared the crap out of him. But now? Now he pulls Matt in, his uninjured arm wrapped around as much as his best friend that he can reach and pulling him tight. Pouring all the things he couldn’t say out loud into that embrace.

'I'm here'

'iI'll always try as hard as I can to be here'

'You're my best friend Matty'

'I won't leave.'

He holds on until he can feel Matt melt under his touch and wrap his own arms around Foggy and just because he's a nerd and he wants to, he opens his mouth and says, "You and me buddy. Maverick and Goose. Avocados at law"

Matt laughs and Foggy can't help but feel it fill him with the hopeful thought that yeah, they'll be ok.