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Sam had been able to enjoy a Buchanan song for exactly fifteen days before he had to mentally establish a ban on any and all media surrounding the new singer. Sam couldn’t deny he enjoyed the music and had the second single on repeat for a time. That was until he actually saw Buchanan’s face on the cover of his debut album. Sam had thought he’d been seeing things when he saw the face on the cover. He promptly pulled out his phone and looked up images of the indie singer and instantly remembered the morning he walked out on his relationship two years ago.
It was Bucky.
Of course Buchanan was Bucky. Sam couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognized the voice sooner or the name. There wasn’t a time Bucky wasn’t writing in his notebook or strumming away on his beloved guitar. A large part of Sam was utterly proud Bucky had made it and was doing what he’d dreamt of doing while they were in college. Another part was once again racked with the guilt and unease that his mistake had forever saddled him with.
That was the last day he listened to anything by Buchanan.
– 2 Years Later–
Sam walked into the café where he had a meeting with Tai and hoped it wouldn’t last longer than half an hour. He was tired from his last assignment and just wanted to go home and sleep.
“Hey Sam,” Tai said not looking up from her phone as she sent her last email.
“Hey Tai,” Sam said taking his seat and sighing.
She glanced over at the other and put her phone down. “What’s eating you?”
“What else? The job,” Sam said tiredly. “Sucking the damn life out of me.”
“Awww Sam. Come on now, you know good and well you wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Sam sighed aloud.
“Wasn’t it you that complained earlier this year that you weren’t getting any good assignments? Then BAM!," she hit the table for emphasis. "They make you lead journalist.”
“Your point Tai?”
“Stop complaining about shit. It could be worse,” Tai pointed out.
“Gosh I can’t stand you,” Sam breathed in irritation.
“Only because I’m right,” Tai said smiling. “So how’s the dating life going? How are things with what’s her name? Cami?”
Sam looked over at her and wondered when was the last time he even spoke to Tai about his dating life. “I haven’t seen Cami since last year,” Sam said confused as to why Tai would think he was still seeing her.
Tai waved off her mistake. “Oh yeah! It’s Dylan then?”
Sam sighed heavily and thought maybe he should get up and get a coffee. He was more tired than he thought. “We broke things off last month,” Sam admitted. He didn’t have the best track record with relationships considering his odd and unpredictable schedule being an investigative journalist but it wasn’t like he wasn’t trying to settle down. He just couldn’t seem to find the one.
“Sorry to hear that. But cheer up babe, you know you’re fine as hell, you won’t be single for long,” Tai said smiling.
Sam smirked. “Hitting on me again Tai?”
“Absolutely not, those days are over. Besides I’m on date number 3 with a complete goddess,” Tai said happily.
Sam smiled. He and Tai had their 'forever single' cards for the longest, they just couldn't seem to put them away for long. But Tai only made it to second dates with people she really liked. “What’s her name?” Sam asked.
“Jackson,” she said softly. “She’s smart, funny-.”
“In the industry?”
“Yeah, she’s one of us. But she works for a magazine not a news outlet,” Tai explained.
“Well, I’m happy for you girly,” Sam said softly. “Let’s get to work. I just got in from London this morning, I want to sleep some more before I have to report in tomorrow.”
They proceeded to have their meeting and pin down details within half an hour. They were packing up to head out when a song by Buchanan came on within the little café.
“Oh my God, I love this song,” Tai said happily. “Buchanan is the best!”
Sam just nodded and quickly packed his things so he could head out. “I’ll talk to you later Tai okay,” Sam said hurrying out of the café as Bucky’s voice picked up in the chorus.
Sam jogged to the door and cleared the café as if the sidewalk were instant relief. In the quiet of the night, he took a deep breath and hated how his heart twisted up in his chest at just the sound of Bucky’s voice.
Sam headed to his car and prayed for the day he wouldn’t be haunted by his past.
– 2 Years Later–
Sam sat in the dining room of his hotel in New Orleans after finishing a meeting and checked his emails. As appreciative as he was for winning the Pulitzer Prize, he missed the days before all of the recognition. He missed being able to go anywhere and not having tons of people in his inbox asking to do an interview of him.
He sorted and read his messages and came across an email from Jackson. She had given him a few really good tips and pointed out a few sources for him back in the day, so when her name popped up in his inbox Sam paid attention. For a magazine journalist, Jackson had powerful connections. Though Tai would dispute it, Sam wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t partly why Tai proposed to Jackson three months ago.
Sam read the email and rolled his eyes.
He scrolled through his contacts and dialed Jackson’s number. As the phone rang, he hoped against hope that Tai had been able to resolve things in New York. That the whole blow up around Brock had blown over somehow and Sam would be free from having to take the assignment Jackson had asked of him.
“Hello?” Jackson answered.
“Hey Jackson, it’s Sam Wilson,” he answered glancing around the mostly empty dining room.
“Sam! Please tell me you’re still in New Orleans and haven’t flown out yet?” she asked sounding a bit desperate.
Sam sighed internally. “Nah, I’m still in New Orleans. What’s up?”
“Like I said in the email, shit hit the fan in New York and Brock is in the middle of it again. Tai had to fly back there to do damage control and protect some of her sources. But she had a really important interview due on Monday. Assignment is just outside of New Orleans and you’re the closest,” she explained. “Can you help her out?”
Count on Eddie Brock’s mess up to have ripple effects, Sam thought.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll take the assignment. Who’s the interview with?” Sam asked.
“Oh my goodness Sam, thank you so much!” she said ecstatically. “I’m going to email you the ticket and the questions in a few minutes. You’ll be interviewing the indie singer Buchanan. He’s got a concert stop tomorrow night. On the bright side you get a free concert out of it. Just watch the concert, do a review and ask him a couple questions that’s it. Simple.”
Sam was surprised he didn’t drop the phone. Why did it have to be Buchanan? Sam wondered.
He’d spent years coming to terms with the past and how things ended. Sam had worked through his feelings and what happened and found the strength to move on and stop blaming himself. The last thing he wanted to do was open that old wound by seeing Bucky almost 6 years after their breakup.
But what choice did he really have now? He already said he’d help Tai out.
“Got it,” Sam said softly.
“Thank you Sam. I know Tai thanks you as well,” she said softly.
“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he said under his breath.
“I’ll email you in a bit. Later!”
“Later,” Sam said as he hung up the line. He closed his eyes and sighed at the rising feeling of apprehension in his veins at the thought of seeing his ex again. Tomorrow night at that!
Sam got up and headed back to his hotel room to pack and setup a reservation at the next hotel. He pressed the button for the elevator to take him up and quickly ran through what he needed to do the moment he got back to his room. Check out was 10AM and he had a drive ahead of him, he’d need a rental car.
He shook his head as he entered the elevator and had to softly laughed to himself; it was almost comical that this would happen to him.
As he packed his things back into his suitcase, Sam thought about his aversion to Buchanan and how it had kind of shaped his social interactions over the past 6 years. Sam wouldn’t listen to the music but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hear everyone talking and joking about how Buchanan was always singing about someone. That he was probably secretly dating someone. The realization that Bucky had or would one day move on hurt terribly but Sam knew he had no right to expect Bucky to still be single after all this time; especially not after how Sam ended things.
Yeah, Sam kind of figured Bucky had moved on and he had someone really special in his life. They had to be special for all of Buchanan's music to be about the person. That was a majority of the reason Sam didn’t have the heart to listen to any of the songs. To have to listen to the man he let get away, sing about someone else, Sam wasn’t strong enough for that even when he’d mostly made peace with the past.
Sam sat on his bed and took a moment to be still and remembered moments when he’d almost caved and listened to the music because he would miss Bucky randomly at times and he just wanted to hear his voice. But Sam was proud of his self restraint, that he never actually gave in and listened.
He knew reminiscing even once would turn into constantly and that was no way to move on.