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Chapter Text

“Area secured. Pointbreak and me kicked some ass. How are you doing, Cap?”

This very moment Steve was thrusting his shield into some Hydra agent’s face who instantly went down and wasn’t very likely to get back up very soon. Panting Steve looked down the hall where Clint, taking out the last remaining agent. “Hall is secured. Clint and I are closing in on the restricted area.”

“Watch your back.”

Steve and Clint shared a glance, then a nod before they broke down the door which was supposed to lead them to some kind of laboratory. Where Hydra was probably performing all kinds of atrocities. It was smaller than Steve had expected and there were no more agents with guns left. That was a relief and not much of a surprise since the hall had been filled with them. Nobody was left to defend whatever was hidden here. The only two people left in this room were two shaking scientists in white lab coats with their hands raised over their heads.

“We surrender!”

They were unarmed, so Steve’s eyes travelled passed them and he knew that Clint had spotted the very same thing as he had. “Move away from the table!”

Steve kept his attention on the two scientists as Clint walked further into the room, examining what seemed to be an operation table. A naked figure was lying on top of it and the state of the room had Steve doubting that some kind of surgery had been going on. Nothing medical, rather some strange, horrifying experiment.

“Please, we were just doing our job.”

Narrowing his eyes Steve shook his head. “This is not a job.”

“We can give you…”

“Shut up.” Clint’s harsh voice interrupted him before addressing Steve. “Cap, come here. You have to see this.”

Something about his tone had a shiver running down Steve’s spine and he had a strong suspicion that he didn’t want to see whatever Clint had discovered. With a single glance Steve told the scientists that they better shouldn’t dare to move while he joined Clint next to the table.

An atrocious sight was revealed and it had Steve’s guts twisting. The man lying on this table had his chest cut open. Like they would do during an autopsy. Steve could see tissue, the puny remains of broken ribs which left the heart visibly unprotected. It was revolting and Steve felt the overwhelming urge to turn his head away. If it weren’t for the worst part. The eyes were wide open. One could still tell that they once had been green, now they were milky and lifeless. Staring into nothingness. All life had been ripped from this mangled body some time ago and yet Steve and Clint had immediately recognized that this had once been Thor’s brother.

“Good lord…” Steve muttered absently and he wanted to pull a sheet over the corpse. To give it some modesty and to spare them the sight. “What have they done to him?”

“Sliced him open like an animal.” Clint pressed the word through gritted teeth and his next statement had Steve’s blood run cold. “Thor cannot see this. He will rip the entire place apart.”

Hastily Steve nodded and spoke into his radio. “Tony? Tony, what is your position? Tony, where are you?”

The answer came only after a few seconds and Tony almost sounded cheerful. As usual. “Right around the corner. We’ll be with you in a second.”

“No. No, listen, Tony, that’s not…”

It was too late. When they heard Thor coming Clint quickly positioned himself between Loki’s corpse and the door and Steve continued to shout into the radio that everybody else should stay away. The look of horror on the scientists’ faces couldn’t be matched when they saw Thor appearing in the doorframe. In full armour and his hammer in hand he gave a terrifying picture.

“What is going on? We assumed you needed help.”

There was no clear thought in Steve’s head except for the knowledge that they had to do damage control. “No, everything’s fine in here, Thor. I’m sure Tony needs you back outside.”

“Just fine, big guy. Why don’t you help Stark?”

Both of them had spoken up at the same time which was an obvious mistake, Thor’s frown confirmed it all. By now he had taken notice of the trembling men in the corner of the room, staring at him with blatant fear. Definitely different from all the other agents he had encountered today. Despite Clint’s best efforts Thor simply could not miss that he was trying to hide something. He saw the table, he saw that there was a body lying on top of it. Steve believed that he would soon have to fight a serious sickness. In the meantime Thor tilted his head and pointed with the hammer at the forsaken table. “What is this?”

Steve made a step forward, trying to somehow lead Thor out of this room. “Nothing. Come on, there are still parts of this base that we need to…”

Thor gently but firmly shoved Steve to the side, his eyes fixed on the one thing that they didn’t want him to see. It was too late already. “Thor, let’s just…”

Rendered helpless Clint and Steve watched as Thor walked passed them, closing in on the table where his brother was lying, dead and cut open. Slain. Steve needed to say something, because nobody should find out about the death of loved one like this. Thor shouldn’t see his brother like this. “Please, you…”

Thor screamed. A scream filled with dread and unimaginable pain. There were no sobs or tears, just the awful sound of man having his own soul brutally torn from his body. Steve hopefully would never be able to tell how that felt like, but now he was able to recognize the sound of it.

“No!” Another scream, so loud and forceful that Steve involuntarily winced as he watched Thor reaching out with one trembling hand. Then he suddenly pulled back, before actually touching Loki and instead turned around. Steve saw it coming and yet he failed to react quickly enough. With his face disfigured by rage and overwhelming grief Thor stared at the Hydra scientists. Of course he noticed the gloves and the literal blood on their hands. No threats, no accusations. Thor raised his hand and threw his hammer. It tore off most of the head of the scientist who was standing to the right. The other one whimpered in panic. “Don’t! He’s not…”

The hammer flew back into Thor’s hand and was instantly thrown again. Three seconds later the two Hydra members were lying dead on the floor, in a bloody mess of bludgeoned and broken limbs. Thor had killed them without hesitating for a second while Clint and Steve had just been standing there. Motionless, unable to react to Thor drowning in grief. They kept watching as Thor bent over the dead body, his fingers grazing over the black hair. “Loki… Please…”

Steve bit his lip, out of a sudden ashamed that he hadn’t felt anything confronted with Loki’s corpse and now he could hear the raw desperation in Thor’s voice.

“I am so sorry.” His fingers gently brushed over Loki’s pale face and slid his lifeless eyes shut. With obvious care Thor picked him up, cradled his dead brother against his chest and walked out of this laboratory where they had probably planned to cut him into pieces.

 ***

“How is he doing?”

Natasha’s expression said more than her actual answer. “Falling apart completely. He’s been sitting in the very same spot the entire day, staring into space. It took Steve over an hour to talk him into letting go of the body. It’s still hard to believe that they were able to do this to Loki.”

Taking off his glasses Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to cast away the images. It was way easier to concentrate on work when you didn’t have to think about somebody’s body being cut open, so some crazed out maniacs could study your insides. “I know. Tony sent me a picture. At least he was dead before they cut him up.”

“It’s more worrying that Hydra was capable of capturing and killing Loki while we have never been able to even get our hands on him. I don’t want to imagine how they did that.”

Except that they were trying to find out exactly that. And what they had been looking for during the autopsy. Bruce desperately hoped that they would be done quickly, so he could get out of this lab. How was he supposed to do anything when one of them was going through such a nightmare? Loki had always been their enemy, a danger to every living, breathing person on this planet. But to Thor he would always be his little brother. Who had been murdered by Hydra. None of them had ever seen Thor in this state. Struck down by this immense loss, barely able to stand on his own feet.

Clearing his throat and hopefully his own thoughts Bruce continued to go through the data on the computer which was a deep, bottomless, black hole. A sheer endless number of DNA testing which didn’t make any sense. Bruce lost track of time and was unable to tell how long he had been sitting here until Natasha, who had gone off scanning the rest of the base, gave him a call. “Yes?”

“Bruce, you need to come and see this.”

One floor upstairs in another hidden, secret laboratory Natasha had found a white casket. Inside of it was a body with a perfectly intact ribcage and Loki’s face. Looking back up Bruce stared at Natasha who was white as a sheet. “We need to find out what they have been doing.”

 ***

“What do you mean when you say that the man you found isn’t my brother? Nor is the body that I buried?” Thor was talking calmly, but there was this dangerous edge in his voice. He sounded like a man who had been forced to go several steps to far.

Tony reminded himself to break this story down into the simplest words he could come up with. It was mind-blowing enough that idiots like Hydra had been able to succeed at something as revolutionary as this. By now he was knee-deep into the data and it got more twisted with every line that he read. Even Tony knew that one had to be careful what to tell somebody who was completely grief-struck. Also Tony had no idea if Thor would comprehend the matter.

“Listen, Thor… your brother is most probably completely fine wherever he is. The body you found is a clone.” There, the whole dilemma in a nutshell and Thor shook his head, staring at Tony with his bloodshot eyes. “I’ve held him in my arms. It was my brother. I could feel that it wasn’t an illusion.”

“Not that kind of clone. No magic involved. Only science. Look, I’ll explain.” Tony pulled up a chair and sat down while Steve remained standing behind them, watching over the conversation with eagle eyes. He probably would have liked to do this himself, but Steve knew about cloning exactly as much as Thor.

“Luckily Hydra is quite thorough with their notes, so we have a pretty clear picture of what happened. Over a year ago before the fall of SHIELD, during one of our fights with Loki Natasha managed to wound him with a knife. SHIELD confiscated it. Well, Hydra did. They got his DNA like this and disgusting assholes that they are they wanted to use it to find a way to recreate his powers. To use them for themselves and to weaponize them.”

Tony trailed off, swallowing softly when he saw and heard the small, blue sparks sizzling around Thor’s balled fist. “This is a vile atrocity that you speak of.”

“But it also means that your brother is alive.” Steve stated gently and Tony wondered just how far they had to go in pretending that this was a good thing. Yes, he was all for people not getting murdered by Hydra, but Loki still out and about was immensely dangerous. Then again, he was Thor’s little brother and until now Thor had believed that he had been brutally murdered and sliced open by their enemies. None of them had ever seen him in such a state of distress and now they were able to relieve him of that.

The sparks disappeared and Thor looked so hopeful that Tony thought his old, worn-out heart might break any second. “Are you sure? I’ve held him…”

Tony nodded. “Absolutely. Hydra had trouble working the whole thing out, it’s all over their notes that they wished for more DNA. Your brother is still out and about. Probably perfectly fine.”

“Then who… my brother used to… My brother creates illusions of himself all the time. You cannot touch them, they’ll vanish. What did they do?”

“They made a copy of him. Not with magic, but from his blood. It’s actually an incredible achievement and highly immoral. They… for the lack of a better word… they grew a second Loki in a glass. Not a cute little baby… assumed that your brother was a cute kid. Never mind. They had a few cells and made an adult, fully grown Loki clone out of it. To… get what they want from it.” The second Tony had added that last part he wished he had kept his mouth shut, he could feel Steve’s eyes drilling into his back with a reproachful glare and Tony deserved that.

Hope and relief were pushed into the background as Thor’s face darkened again. “What did they do to him?”

For once Tony didn’t know what to say straight away. “Thor, they didn’t do anything to your brother, okay? Loki most definitely doesn’t even have an idea what is…”

“The… the man who looked like my brother. The one I mourned and buried. What did Hydra do to him? When they created him he must have been alive.”

Unsure Tony looked over his shoulder and Steve appeared to be just as unsettled as him, but he eventually nodded. “It’s only fair. The rest of us know too and… considering…”

“Alright.” Tony sighed. Since they were about to drop an even bigger bomb on Thor, it seemed pointless to spar him the details. “The one Cap and Clint found… They killed him straight away. I guess they thought they would find what they’re looking for by cutting him open.”

There was a visible change in Thor’s posture, his back straightened and Tony was afraid that the sparks would make a reappearance or worse. After Thor had discovered his supposed brother’s corpse the worst thunderstorm of the last 30 years had gone down on New York. Nobody wanted to witness that a second time. “You said the one the Captain and Barton found. Does this mean there is more than one… copy of my brother?”

This was definitely going to be the ugliest part. Tony nodded and came straight to the point. “They made eight of them. The first were killed and… discarded of before we took over the base. The one we found was number seven.”

Thor caught his eyes in an intense stare. “And what about the eighth one?”

Once more Tony looked back at Steve and it was obvious that both of them had no idea how this would play out. “He is here.”

Half an hour later all the Avengers were gathered around a bed in the hospital ward of the compound. Clone number 8 was lying in it, still in his eternal Snow-White sleep which soon wouldn’t be that eternal anymore. Nobody dared to say anything, not until Thor had spoken up, but until now the Asgardian had merely been staring at the clone. Tony actually flinched when he finally spoke up. “They were going to kill him too.”

“They’ve killed all the others. There is no reason to assume they would have done anything different with him.” Natasha stated and it was Clint who asked the obvious question. “What are we going to do with him? We have no idea what he is going to be like when he wakes up.”

“What?”

And it was Tony’s turn again. “To avoid any confusion, I’ll try to keep it simple. When we got there, they had already… activated him. Now it’s down to a couple of hours. It’s not ideal, I get it. We have no idea what’s going to happen, but the most important thing is to remember that this is not Loki. Technically he is not even a real person. He was made from a blood sample and he is the eighth version. We don’t even know if they gave him the ability to talk or think. All we know now is that they gave him a pulse.”

Chapter Text

“Get away from me! What is this?! What have you done to me?!”

So the other Loki had a tongue, they sure found that out. Clint would always favour a bow over any other weapon, but he had learned his lesson with Loki. Instead of pointing an arrow at him, Clint had chosen a gun. At least the clone definitely sounded and looked like Loki. Sitting up, tearing at the restraints that tied him to the bed. Security measures and Thor had not been pleased.

“I don’t know, Tony. This all sounds awfully familiar.”

Loki’s head flung around and his green, mad eyes connected with Clint’s. “Agent Barton, I swear if you don’t start pointing that weapon at somebody else I will gut you!”

“See? Familiar.”

Right next to him Tony sighed. “Did nobody listen to me? He is a copy, that includes copied memories. He does not know he is a clone for god’s sake.”

“I will gut you for even daring to put me here!” Loki hissed like a serpent and if he kept tearing at his bonds like this he would soon rub raw his lower arms. Clint didn’t care that much since this was clearly Loki. With all his lovely mannerisms.

“Loki, please, calm down.” Thor stepped forward and as always tried to reason with his insane family. “I need you to listen to me.”

“I may be your prisoner, but you cannot force me to listen to a single stupid word that you say!” For a moment he stopped his attempts to get free, only to glare at Thor the way he always did. With arrogance and loathing.

Thor noticed that too and hesitated for a moment. “You are not my prisoner, Loki.”

“This says differently!” With a snarl Loki tugged once more on the restraints around his wrists.

Almost shamefully Thor nodded and walked closer. Natasha didn’t get to finish asking him “What he was doing?”, because Thor had ripped those restraints off within a second. “There! You are not my prisoner.”

Loki reacted with a look of confusion before jumping out of bed, now not only having Clint’s gun pointed at him. “It never stops to amaze me what an incredible fool you are!”

As expected of him Loki made a very familiar hand gesture. The one he always made when he threw a ball of fire or green light which was equally nasty. This time nothing happened and the person most surprised by that was Loki. Shortly he glanced at his hand before trying again and nothing happened. Horror was not enough of word to describe the expression on Loki’s face. He balled his hands into fists, then opened them again, staring at them if somebody had cut off his fingers. Then he threw all that shock and terror right at Thor. Yelling with an amount of desperation that Clint had never seen with him before. “What have you done to me?! How is that even possible?! You stole it from me!”

“Loki, I would never do something like that!”

Thor seemed to react with the same despair and Tony quickly grab Thor’s arm and slightly pulled him aside. Clint could hardly make out what Tony was muttering into Thor’s ear. “What are you doing? This is not your brother. He is a clone. He does not have Loki’s powers.”

That may be true, but it was very easy to forget.

Ignoring Tony’s comment Thor turned back to Loki, holding up his hands in a peace offering. “Brother, listen to me. I would have never done anything like this to you. You were a prisoner of Hydra…”

“Then how come the last thing I remember is fighting with you and now I am here! Powerless!”

“If you were just to let me explain…”

“God damn it!” Tony pushed Thor aside. “There is no way to ease anyone into this conversation and pointbreak hardly has any idea himself what he is talking about... So I am just going to rip off the band aid. You are not Loki. Loki is off somewhere doing what he does. You look like him and you think you are Loki because Hydra made you. You are a clone. You were made from Loki’s blood sample. You have the same memories up to the point where the sample was taken, but that’s about it. Obviously you don’t have his powers.”

It took two of them to get Loki off Tony.

 ***

“That was cruel, Tony.” Steve wasn’t going to pretend to think it was okay what Tony had done. No, Steve still didn’t understand what Hydra had done and how, but he knew that it wasn’t a decent thing to simply tell someone that everything they thought about themselves was wrong. Not even to Loki. But it wasn’t Loki. Was it? No, Steve wasn’t able to grasp this concept.

“What would you have wanted me to do? Somebody had to tell him. The real Loki is going to show up eventually and then he’ll realise that something is wrong. Both of them. The real question is what are we going to do with him.” Tony had poured himself a glass of whiskey and Steve questionably raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that we are in the fucked-up moral dilemma that is cloning! Technically he isn’t an actual person, because he wasn’t born. When he woke up that was the very first time that he opened his eyes. He is the result of a brilliant but fucked up experiment. Not really a person, but his freak out reminded me a lot of Loki. Not a real person, but definitely real feelings. He isn’t Loki, but he thinks he is Loki. What are we going to do?”

“I can tell you what Thor will want to do.” Natasha pointed out calmly from where she was lying on the couch. “He will want to keep him here. It’s like dream come true. A Loki that cannot hurt somebody, who cannot teleport away when Thor wants to talk to him. I’ve seen the look on his face. He will want to keep him around. He’ll want to mend their relationship.”

While Steve thought that he could understand that and while it was making him horribly sad, Tony merely huffed. “Christ, is it so hard to grasp the concept of cloning? He cannot mend the relationship with his brother, because his brother is not here! It’s not Loki!” Tony kept insisting and Steve didn’t miss how Clint kept nagging on his lower lip. Something rather unusual. “You have something on your mind?”

Clint shrugged but answered anyway. “Tony, you can repeat this over and over, but it’s already really hard to remind myself that this is not the guy who fucked up my head. What must it be like for Thor? Especially since the… clone himself thinks that we’re all insane and he’s for real. He knows everything Loki knows and he acts like him.”

“Of course he does.” Bruce pointed out. “He is a clone. They copied his DNA, all of his memories. If we put him next to the real Loki, we wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.”

“So where do we draw the line?” Natasha sent a questioning glance to all of them and Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had no idea what to do. They surely couldn’t keep him locked up in a room forever. Not long ago SHIELD would have been able to help them with this. Now they were on their own. “No matter how we feel about it, we cannot stop Thor from seeing Loki if he wants to.”

Tony interrupted him with a little whine in his voice. “First of all we should stop calling him Loki. He is not Loki. The problem is that we know nothing about cloning. Holy shit, Hydra were the first ones to successfully clone a human being… Asgardian. Whatever. Eight times, but it didn’t work out like they wanted to, because according to the data, none of them had his powers. They messed up. Also the clones weren’t meant to… they created him, knowing that they were going to kill him. He wasn’t created for… a long-term period. They probably didn’t put their best into giving him a good immune system or a healthy heart.”

That mere concept was horrifying and deeply disturbing, creating life just to destroy it. “Isn’t he the same as Loki? He should be in good physical shape?”

With a sigh Bruce shook his head. “That’s not how it works. The cells they used are old. Used and they didn’t create a baby how gradually grows up. They exactly recreated what they found. Let’s say they copy a sheet of paper, if some of the lines are already a bit faded, they are not going to get any better. We should do a thorough physical exam.”

Nobody had said it out loud, but Steve didn’t need to read between the lines. “Are you saying that he might die because they did a bad job?” He didn’t like it that Tony answered with a shrug. “No idea. We need to check on him and please can everyone tell Thor that he needs to stay away from him.”

Huffing softly Natasha shook her head. “You are making that sound so easy, Tony.”

“It’s easy when you remind yourself of who/what he is.”

 ***

“What are you doing?”

Loki/Not-Loki/the clone refused to open his eyes, remained sitting on the floor in Indian style. “Trying to undo what you did to me.”

Natasha couldn’t fault him for that. “You can meditate all you want, but we didn’t do anything to you.”

Loki pursed his lips and remained silent which had Natasha saying. “Do you really believe that Thor would let us hurt you?”

“Thor talks a lot and his words don’t carry much worth.”

Alright, another strategy, something more direct. “You know that something is wrong with you. We want to help you find out what…”

“Agent Romanoff, you and your team should choose your words more carefully. Only a few hours ago you claimed to know exactly what is wrong with me.”

Thanks to Tony. Since Loki was unlikely to forget that she had to stick with it now. The truth didn’t always make things easier. “I must admit that I am not prepared for this situation. I don’t think anybody is. Least of all you. For once we should perhaps try to find out what is going on. Together.”

The last word was enough for Loki to open his accusing eyes. “Stark was eager to tell me that you already know everything. A bizarre fairy tale that I don’t see the purpose of. What I do know is that you are going to regret this terribly. I will make you suffer the consequences.”

There was something even more heinous in his voice than usual and although Natasha wasn’t intimidated, she couldn’t deny an uneasy feeling. Tony could keep repeating that this wasn’t Loki, but it sure as hell felt like him. Where to draw the line? Especially since the clone believed he was real. It was that fierce unyielding conviction that made it hard to not start believing yourself. “We found you in a Hydra base. You and the ones that came before you. Don’t you want to know what happened?”

Her attempt was in vain, Loki merely showed his teeth. “The moment I reverse what you have done to me I will create a beautiful loop of memories for you. All the blood you’ve spilled to remind you that nobody will ever buy your act. Least of all yourself.”

Natasha wouldn’t grant him the satisfaction of showing him that he had got to her. Real Loki or not, he knew which buttons to push. That didn’t mean though Natasha was going to stop. Putting Thor’s personal drama aside they couldn’t underestimate the opportunity at their hands. Somebody who knew everything that Loki knew, but who didn’t pose a physical threat. Not anymore.

Just as she was about to speak up again, Natasha heard Tony shimming in over her earpiece. “Romanoff, what are you doing? Take off the gloves, we have plenty of proof to show him.”

Ignoring him Natasha tried to engage in an actual conversation, to make the clone talk, but he remained sitting on the floor, trying to reconnect with magic that he had never possessed. Natasha was definitely displeased when the door was suddenly pushed open and Tony strolled in. She hadn’t even got started yet and he felt the need to take over. In a field that was not his expertise. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Infinity for a second. Clear up some misunderstandings.”

The odd nickname had Loki slightly raising an eyebrow and Natasha wasn’t going to pretend to know what Tony was up to. She would stick around though, because it would be an obvious bad idea to leave Tony alone with him.

“Will you take a look at this, Infinity?” Tony held up a tablet that played a video of a fight. Natasha could tell that it was footage that the Iron Man suit that recorded. Right now it showed Loki avoiding Steve’s punches, almost looking bored. “Any chance you remember that little get-together?”

“As a matter of fact I do.” Loki’s voice had turned into a sizzle and Natasha’s entire attention was focused on him in case he should try anything. Even without powers she knew better than to underestimate him.

“Great. Do you remember anything after that fight? After the Black Widow slashed your arm? Anything? Come on, no pressure here.” Tony seemed almost in a good mood, impatiently looking at Loki who eventually gave up his pose and cocked his head to seemingly get a better look at the screen. Natasha observed with interest the first change in his expression. So Tony’s words had had an effect, Loki was thinking about it. Probably already wondering why he couldn’t remember anything that had happened after said day.

Out of a sudden Loki’s green eyes were on Natasha filled with so much spite and disgust that she almost felt the urge to turn away. “Did you poison me?”

“What? Okay, I can see why you would get that idea. Nobody poisoned you. You got hurt, that’s how the evil guys… even more evil than you got your DNA to mess with it. Mess with it they did and they created you. I forgot to mention that this fight took place over a year ago. You’ve got no memories after this event, because…”

“My deepest regret to this day is throwing you out of that window. I should have cut your throat, it would have stopped you from talking.” Clearly unnerved by Tony’s comments Loki got up to his feet and Natasha’s hand drifted to her gun. Just in case. For now Loki remained where he was.

The death threat obviously wasn’t a good enough reason to change his upbeat tone. Not for Tony. “I am not angry at you for that, because you never did any of that. That was the real Loki.”

Tony’s approach was definitely different than Natasha’s. Until now she had tried to build a bridge, to create a calm environment. Granted, not her speciality, but given this chance they probably shouldn’t antagonize Loki all over again. Thirty seconds after Tony had opened his mouth that possibility just flew out the window. She definitely hoped that he knew where he was going with this, but if not, Natasha was ready for every possible outcome.

Loki’s features were tensed, his eyes hard and Natasha could see that one of his hands was balled into a fist. It was slightly shaking. Natasha was under no illusion about the danger of this situation. He was like a rope stretched to its limits. It was only a question of time until it was going to tear apart. Natasha was going to make sure that they weren’t going to fall into the abyss.

“You will stop this right now.”

“Okay, I know this is hard to grasp, but the real Loki…”

“I am the real me!” Loki hissed and his expression wasn’t quite enough to scare Natasha, but it was definitely unsettling. “You don’t even know what that means, so keep your damned mouth closed!”

Since Tony had always loved to risk his life for the most foolish reason, he kept doing exactly that. “I hate to disappoint you, but everybody knows more about you than yourself. For example I know that you are the eighth version of the clones. Here. That’s number seven.” Tony opened a new picture on the tablet, showing Loki the clone Steve and Clint had found.

After staring at his dead successor for a second Loki focused his searing gaze on Tony. “Put it away! I am weary of your tricks!”

“Except that it’s not a trick and you’re already starting to realise that. The real Loki isn’t stupid, so you aren’t either.”

The rope tore apart and Loki moved quickly. With a growl he pounced on Tony whose reflexes were quick enough to bring up the tablet to use it as a shield. Loki’s fist connected with it and Natasha delivered a fierce kick to push Loki aside. He screamed in pain. Not because of her though. Tony glanced at the tablet which only looked slightly messed up, but it was intact, still working. The skin on Loki’s knuckles seemed to be gone. They were bleeding.

So Hydra had not only done an insufficient job with his magic. This version of Loki didn’t possess the original’s strength, nor his seemingly impenetrable skin. Sitting back on his heels this Loki stared at his shaking hands and he looked terrorized.

“Thor!” His shouting contained such raw desperation that Natasha flinched.

“Thor! Are you watching?! Show yourself! How could you let them do this to me?!”

He must have waited in front of the door, because Thor stormed inside of the room instantly. There was urgency in his movements that Natasha had never seen before. It was deeply worrying. “Loki, we did not…”

Once more Loki went for an attack and this time Natasha remained motionless, because there was nothing he could do. No magic to conjure weapons and no power to do any harm. Banging his useless fists against Thor’s chest with raw anger didn’t serve any purpose but making Natasha feel sorry for him. “What dark magic is this? Did the allfather help you? How could you do this to me?!”

Over the years they had learned that Loki knew exactly how to push Thor’s buttons, how to make him feel bad or how to use their relationship to his advantage to get out of a sticky situation. Not once had Loki shied away from theatrics, but this was different. This almost breakdown was real and Tony had been right about one thing – Thor should have stayed away, because for him it was impossible to tell his brother and the clone apart.

“Loki, listen to me. This wasn’t me! I would never do anything like that to you. Never.” Thor stared back at the clone whose rage was so intense that Natasha thought she could feel it on her skin.

“What curse is this? How can you do this and still call me your kin? Why not just kill me? Are you too much of a coward? Or do you enjoy torturing me?”

“None of that!” Feverishly Thor shook his head. “Hydra did that to you and since the moment I learned about that all I can think about is killing all of them. To cause them pain like they did to you.”

Natasha and Tony shared a worried glance. Everything that Thor said had to be expected and yet he was too willing to see his lost brother and the clone.

“How heroic and selfless of you…” Loki spat dismissively. “And I am here. A prisoner. Your prisoner and you took everything away that I still had. So I can do nothing but sit here and hope for your mercy. The way you’ve always wanted it.” With a hoarse scream Loki banged his fists once more again Thor’s chest and then made an attempt at shoving him away. Thor stepped back willingly, because obviously Loki wouldn’t have been able to move him. “Leave me! All of you! Get out of my sight!” Unshed tears were filling his eyes and he gritted his teeth which strangely made him look more desperate than threatening.

“Loki, please, let me…”

“Leave! Go!”

The ferocity of Loki’s yell had Thor taking another step back. “Alright. If that’s what you…”

“Leave!”

They did leave, all of them and as soon as the door fell closed behind them Tony stepped up to Thor. “Pointbreak, I know it’s hard, but you cannot forget that he is not actually your brother.”

Instead of answering Thor punished Tony with a dark, angry glance and it had Natasha worried that he might lash out. He did not, Thor merely walked away.

Chapter Text

“Could you do me a favour, Tony?”

“Shoot, Cap.” Tony was great at multitasking. He could chew on his tuna sandwich and go through the data on the screen. Listening to Cap at the same time wasn’t that much of a challenge.

Clearing his throat Steve leaned against the desk and Tony was already enjoying seeing him squirm out of the corner of an eye. “Could you try and be a little more… empathetic with the clone? You’re being harsh to him when there is no need.”

That same old song and dance again. “What? You want him to keep believing he’s Loki?”

“No. Of course not. But there would have been other ways to break it to him. More gently. You were brutal to him. He just learned that he is… not real and you hit him over the head with a sledgehammer and you kept doing it.”

Alright, that was worth looking up for. “He is a Hydra-made clone. I am not particularly bothered by hurting his feelings.”

“But you admit that he does have feelings. I don’t want you to coddle him. Just… be a little more considerate.” Steve made a vague gesture and Tony had no words to describe how ridiculous this was. “Come on, Steve. You wouldn’t ask me to be especially nice to Loki, but you’re feeling sorry for his clone. Makes sense.”

“The man in this room has never done anything to us. We pretty much watched him being born and it’s not his fault that he is a clone. Hydra did this. I cannot hold something against him that he hasn’t done.”

“Alright, but it’s still a copy of Loki’s brain. He thinks he has done all that stuff and he would do it in a heartbeat. It would be incredibly stupid to trust him even for a second. You can be nice to him all you want, Cap, if that makes you feel better about the situation, but he’s still a clone and he should not be here. He should not even exist.” Tony knew that it was going to be pretty hard to make a guy from the forties understand that, but he could at least give it a try.

To his surprise Steve shrugged. “It doesn’t matter actually. He does exist and he is here. We have to deal with him.”

“True, but that doesn’t mean I have to pretend that I am not freaked out by him. He was made to steal magical powers. It’s a lot like organ theft. It’s disgusting.”

“Again, not his fault.” Steve stated softly and Tony had not desire whatsoever to continue this conversation. “Okay. I get what you say. No more upsetting the clone. I’ll try.”

 ***

Tony was seriously bad at doing the right thing and he honestly had no idea what to do about Infinity, but something had to be done about him before Thor decided to play happy family with him. Which was only a question of time. This was a perverted dream come true and although Thor was a cute little puppy with only the best of intentions, he had no idea where to draw the line. Loki could burn in hell for all that Tony was concerned and nevertheless this entire situation was so fucked-up since Thor’s brother didn’t even have any idea what was going on. He had never agreed to this. Having his fucking essence stolen and have other people messing with it to create another version of him. Some things shouldn’t be done to anyone, because they simply were wrong.

No sympathy for the madman and he wasn’t here anyway. They had to deal with the faulty copy. Who needed to realise that he wasn’t Loki. Then it would be easier for Thor to accept and then he wouldn’t fall under the illusion that he had the chance to mend his family troubles. His actually family was still out there, probably burning down a village full of innocent people for fun. Regular Thursday night.

3:24 am to be exactly. It worked well with Tony’s sleeping schedule and there was less of a risk of running into Thor. He was pretty certain that Natasha was hanging around here somewhere. It was unlikely though that she was going to bother him, after all Nat was the one who was able to keep the most distance between here fake-Loki. Honestly Tony thought that she was one of the few people who actually got the difference.

Thanks to the security cams Tony knew that Infinity also had Loki’s annoying ability of not needing any sleep, therefore now was the best time for another meeting. Although it was pretty amazing to know that the clone couldn’t smash his head with a single gesture, Tony wasn’t stupid, Infinity was still capable of throwing in some punches. So Tony took one of the gauntlets with him. Better safe than sorry.

Infinity was sitting on the floor, Indian style. At least the lack of sleep was visible through dark circles beneath his eyes. He spotted Tony the second he entered the room. Would somebody sit on the cold floor when there was a perfectly nice couch and bed? “Hey there, Infinity. I thought you could use some company. Maybe we can work out our previous misunderstanding. Like you not understanding what I am explaining to you.”

The look Infinity sent him was the kind of bitchface that other people wish they could come up with. Just the right amount condescension that made you feel like he could not be bothered to listen to one inferior and stupid word that came out of your mouth. Just like the real Loki.

“What? Do I get the silent treatment now? That’s totally unlike Loki.”

“And what would you know about me? Nothing, Stark, you know nothing.”

Tony doubted that this was a Game Of Thrones references and refrained from making a comment. “What are you doing? It’s late. People without a serious case of insomnia should be sleeping.”

His question was ignored and the patronizing gaze turned into a death glare. “I am going to figure this out and then you’ll regret the very moment you’ve come up with this idea.”

The threats were seriously getting old. Especially coming from a guy without magical powers or super strength. “Cool, go ahead. Say it after me ‘I am a clone. Hydra made me, but they are a bunch of incompetent hacks and therefore I don’t have any powers.’ See? Easy. Figured it out.”

Infinity looked up at him with dark green eyes and more hatred than Loki usually did. “This should not be possible. It is not possible. You don’t have the means to do it. Nobody does. I will break the illusion inside of which you locked me. Then I will tear your castle down to the very last stone.

“Oh my god, enough of the speeches! This is not even a castle, it’s a tower. You should know the difference. Loki is not an entirely stupid person and you are his clone, so you should have a bit of intelligence. You just said yourself that it’s not possible that we stole your powers. Time to accept the obvious explanation, isn’t it?”

Infinity spat and Tony should definitely get paid for this. “Oh, I’ve already done that. I am curious. Which magic user did Thor convince to do this for him? The allfather? Some witches? What did they get in return? And most important how long do you think you can keep me trapped?”

This was going to be a piece of work. “Okay, will you let me sum this up, because it’s kind of hard to follow you? You believe that this some kind of illusion? Isn’t that the thing that you do? Thor can only swing his hammer and the rest of isn’t too keen on your magical shit either. We don’t have the means to set something like that up. Even if we did, you would have figured that out by now.”

In response Infinity scowled. Time to bring out the big guns.

“Alright. Do you really believe that Thor would allow us to do that kind of shit? Actually taking your powers away or making you believe as such? He would smash my whole place for suggesting that. So what is more likely?”

That should be the perfect argument, but of course Infinity had to make it even harder for him. A shadow was creeping on his already dark face. “Thor likes easy solutions. Especially for complicated problems. I am that kind of problem.”

“Darling, you have no idea what kind of problem you are.” Tony sighed. “Everybody is trying to make you understand what is going on and you simply refuse to. It’s kind of obnoxious.”

“Why don’t you just leave me alone and I will gladly kill you when I have undone this spell.”

Not going to happen. Instead Tony also sat down on the floor, which was fucking uncomfortable. “Jarvis, do me a favour. Pull up the last sighting of Loki.”

The hologram came up in the middle of the room and showed amateur video footage of the real Loki standing on top of a building somewhere in Hong Kong. Waving his hands in green light, but not actually doing something aggressive for a change.

“That was three days ago. Were you in Hong Kong three days ago? No, you were not. I am also 100% sure that you don’t remember being there either. What is the most logical explanation for that?”

Infinity’s eyes only lazily travelled over the hologram. “I am looking at another illusion.”

“Stop being so damned stubborn. You are the illusionist. This is your expertise. Is this an illusion? Or this?”

Tony had Jarvis pull up several other sightings or Loki during the last weeks and months. Some of them involving fights with the Avengers. “There is no way that we could have made all of this up. The very real Loki is hanging out somewhere right now and you are here with us. You should accept what is going on, then we can figure out what to do about it. You should finally let us help you.”

That set him off. “Help me?! You imprison me. You trap me in some kind of illusion where I don’t have my powers and try to make me believe that I am not even real! Yet you claim wanting to help me?!”

“Alright, Infinity, calm down and…”

“Stop calling me that! My name is Loki!”

“No, it’s not!” Tony eventually yelled back. “Loki is a super-powered, magical being who would be long gone if we tried to lock him in a room. You are none of that and you don’t have a name. You were made in a lab from a blood sample and you have nothing but Loki’s looks and memories, because Hydra is shit. Stop calling yourself Loki! You are not him! Get that into your head. You know that something is wrong with you, you are merely denying the obvious!”

Driven by rage Infinity jumped up to his feet and stalked towards Tony, but he stopped as soon as Tony raised his hand with the glove. “See? You know that I could seriously hurt you with this? Do you know how often I have to fire at the actual Loki, so he won’t shrug it off?”

Infinity stared at him, his hands trembling. Instead of launching a stupid attack he turned around and started screaming. “Let me out of here! You have no right to keep me like this! I am Loki of Asgard and…”

“No, you are not. You are the result of not fully successful experiment.”

It was Tony’s bad habit to keep pushing and now it had once more gone too far. Infinity went for him and Tony fired.

 ***

“What is wrong with you?” Natasha didn’t even sound angry, just dumbfounded how somebody could do something that stupid. Steve was furious enough for both of them. He almost felt like knocking some sense into Tony, but he would never do that. Especially that kind of behaviour was the exact reason why he was so upset with Tony. “You attacked him! A completely helpless person!”

“Well, technically he was about to attack me first…” Tony pointed out weakly and Steve thought that he was about to lose it. “Because you provoked him! Cruelly and without any reason! Maybe he attacked you first, but he wouldn’t have been able to do anything! He does not have powers! He is not going to immediately stand up again like Loki.”

Crossing his arms in front of his chest Tony had at least the decency to look a bit sheepish. “Okay! Things got out of hand! He came at me and… it was like a reflex. Intuitive. If Loki comes at you, you fire. I know it’s not Loki, but since he looks exactly like him my reflexes kicked in.”

“What were you doing in his room anyway? In the middle of the night?” Natasha wasn’t hiding the obvious reproach and Tony sighed. “I was trying to make him understand what is going on. Nobody else is going to do it and I am not going to wait for Thor to going down the rabbit hole completely, because he thinks the clone is his brother.”

“Whatever your motivation was… there is no justification for firing at him. Clone or not, he does feel pain and it’ll definitely take a while to calm down Thor.” Steve definitely had to linger around since he had a very bad feeling about what might happen if Thor and Tony were left alone in a room. “Oh and you’re not talking to him again on your own.”

“So I get banned from seeing the clone now? Great, let’s see how that will turn out.” When Tony rolled his eyes Steve had to take a step back, because he was seriously testing his patience here.

Natasha touched his arm as if to say he should relax, she was going to handle this. “What exactly were you able to achieve with your talks until now?”

“Okay, you got a point there. I just want to make clear that I did not plan on shooting him. That just happened. Reflexes. I’ll apologize eventually.”

An apology that the other Loki was definitely eagerly awaiting. Steve was saved from having to say anything else when Bruce and Thor walked around the corner, Bruce was still busy running down the clone’s status. “… few burns, but all in all fine. It could have been worse. I gave him something for the pain, it’ll make him sleepy, but it should wear off in a couple of hours.”

“Thank you… I will look after him when he is awake.” As soon as Thor’s eyes came across Tony they got darker, almost a bit hostile. Steve would have to make sure that the current situation wasn’t going to poison their relationship. “Stark, I would advise you to stay away from my brother now.”

Steve opened his mouth, but was already too late, because nobody talked as fast as Tony. “For god’s sake, Thor, I haven’t seen your brother in weeks! Like all of us! This is not your brother!”

“Just stay away from him.”

Although Steve could perfectly understand Thor’s problem, this couldn’t be the solution and after all Thor didn’t have any right to tell Tony what to do. Except for the part about shooting the clone. That was something he definitely needed to stop doing. “Thor, I’m not going to deny that Tony messed up and the measures taken were excessive, but don’t forget that the clone attacked first.”

“Loki is helpless and a prisoner.”

“Jesus Christ…” Tony let one hand run through his hair. “The man in there is not Loki! Yesterday you’ve met him for the very first time in your life!”

“He sounds like Loki, talks like Loki, looks like Loki, so don’t tell me how to treat him!” Thor growled and Steve was ready to break up a physical fight if it should come to that, but Thor eventually turned around to leave them alone. Maybe they should give him some time to cool down.

“Him talking to Infinity is a bad idea…”

 ***

Thor wasn’t as naïve as Stark thought him to be. He knew perfectly well that the person they had found in the Hydra lab wasn’t his brother. Not really. That knowledge didn’t change the way he felt though. The need to protect this person and make sure that he was going to get better. Which was hardly possible since no version of Loki would ever feel at ease or comfortable without having any powers. Even worse so, he had no explanation for the state he was in. He had to feel scared, trapped and every line he had spat at Thor was so Loki.

When Thor missed his brother so fiercely every day, how was he supposed to walk away from an opportunity to talk and simply be in the same room with him? A chance to understand what was going on in Loki’s confused mind. It had been so long since Thor had had an actual conversation with Loki and how he might only have to walk down the corridor and talk to his brother.

Or another version of him.

Of course he knew that they were talking about him. How his friends were of the opinion that Thor should stay away, but they had no idea what they were asking of him. It wasn’t just about him. Loki was alone, hurt and there was nobody in his corner. Except for Thor.

The decision was quickly made and Thor knocked at the door in front of him. There was no reply which was no surprise and Thor waited a few seconds before entering. Loki was lying in his bed, his shoulder was bandaged, his face was white as chalk. More so than usually.

“Leave.”

“Loki, it’s me.”

Those were his brother’s green was and they were staring at him. Not like they used to. The constant anger wasn’t burning anymore, now Thor was facing pure contempt. They had shown him proof that this was not his brother. Not the man Thor had seen falling into the void. Again, knowing didn’t stop Thor from feeling the pain.

“So you’ve come to gloat.”

There was something else but the familiar spit in Loki’s worse. Something worse and way darker. Thor had to at least try not to get too distracted by that. “You know that this is not the case.”

Loki let out that joyless laugh which always got under Thor’s skin. “Oh, I know. I know from experience. Look at me. I’m a wreck. All you ever wanted, isn’t it?”

This was exactly what Thor wanted to understand. How Loki could meet his eyes and say something like that. Did he actually believe that Thor gained anything else from this situation than pain and despair? “Why does it always have to be like this? I come to you to talk and you spite me. Is it too much to ask to listen to me one time instead of running down all the new ways how I supposedly wronged you?” Thor wished that he had a better hold on his patience, that Loki’s words wouldn’t make him furious this easily. It seemed in vain.

“Listen? You want me to listen? Why would I listen to the great Thor?” His name sounded like an insult in Loki’s mouth. “You go on about my wickedness, how I betrayed your trust and all my misdeeds, but then you graciously claim to still love me. To call me family.”

“Because it’s the truth, Loki. You are my brother and it doesn’t matter that you’ve lost your way, I’ll always try to bring you back home.”

If he was just going to listen to him. Any version of his little brother. If he weren’t so stubborn and clinging to his own hurt pride.

“Spare me the lies! For once in your life own up to what you did! I would find a little bit of respect for you inside of me if you were to admit the truth when it is so blatantly obvious.” As Loki tried to sit up a little straighter he winced, obviously from the wound. Thor had to stop himself from moving forward, from asking if he was okay. Loki would lash out even more and after all he was still blaming Thor for this trauma. Also Thor knew that he would only fuel Loki’s rage by showing worry for him, pointing out his weakness. All that he could point out was his confusion. “I don’t know what you are ta…”

One of Loki’s outbursts interrupted him. Only harsher and way more intense than Thor could remember. It has that absolutely real helplessness that made every word sound raw and cutting. Both of them. It almost seemed like Loki had to get these words out or they would cut him open from inside. That this was the only relief he could get. “You got me here! Powerless and wounded! Suffering! I don’t know how you did it, but it’s actually a relief to see you acting on how you truly feel about me. Finally some honesty! Now I can be tortured as I deserve to be for the monster that I am. About time, Thor.”

His initial and immediate reaction would have been screaming. How dare Loki to call himself a monster and how could he ever think that Thor would want to see him suffer? Couldn’t he see that the idea of Loki being in pain was almost unbearable for him? That this was the very last thing that Thor wanted? “Stop that! I won’t tolerate you twisting the truth and what is actually happening!”

Loki sizzled in response. “Oh, so these are imagined slights too?”

“Yes!”

“How wonderful that I am merely imagining being a prisoner. I am not actually locked in this room, my magic and other abilities weren’t stolen and I don’t feel agonizing pain this very second. Since I am only imagining all of this, I suppose I can leave now. Tell me, Thor, can I leave?” Loki was shouting with all of his body, his throat had to be sore and Thor wanted to wrap his arms around him to make sure he wasn’t going to run away.

No, he couldn’t. Loki couldn’t leave. Loki was not even here and Thor didn’t care, because he was talking to him right now. He felt Loki’s hatred for him and it was all too real. Too much to take. “Stop it, brother. No matter how you feel about what happened in our past, you do know that I would never do anything like that to you. No, I would hunt down and destroy anyone who dared taking your freedom or your powers.”

For the first time Loki remained silent, grinding his jaw while his green eyes followed Thor’s every move, like an animal that was ready to flee at any moment. It was enough for Thor to feel a glimmer of hope. Like he could reach him if he only tried hard enough. “You are my brother and no matter how far you try to run away from me or our entire family, I am still love you and I would never allow… I am so sorry that this happened to you, but it wasn’t me or the other Avengers and you know that. It was Hydra and they already paid for it. We destroyed all that was left of them and I did that, because they hurt you.”

Loki let his head fall back against the headboard of the bed. A dull sound was the consequence. Thor thought that he could see a bright glimmer in his eyes. It had to be tears. Now Thor dared to move a step closer, almost overcome by the desire to touch Loki, to tell him that everything was going to be alright. Another step and Loki’s head flung back around. There were indeed tears in his eyes, but there was nothing sad or regretful about them. Those were tears of rage and they had Thor recoiling while Loki finally responded in a firm voice.

“It was you. You want to cause me pain, you want me to feel it, because this is what you promised to do. I am one of the monsters and you promised to slay them all.”

Thor’s insides turned to ice, his tongue seemed frozen and now it was him who wanted to run. Far away from all these implications. He wanted to deny them, but another look at Loki told him that this was his truth. No wicked words that he had made up to hurt Thor. No, this was what Loki actually believed and ironically this was exactly what hurt Thor the most. The tears were still swimming in Loki’s eyes and Thor made another step back.

“What? Can’t look at what you’ve done anymore?”

All air was sucked from the room and Thor fled, not quite running, but feeling out of breath as soon as the door closed behind him. It only took a few minutes for his fellow Avengers to walk up to him and naturally they had watched it all. The Captain seemed disappointed and yet Thor could feel him radiating with pity. At the same time Stark was shaking his head as if he wanted to give up on all of this. “Great job, pointbreak… now how is anyone supposed to tell him that he is not Loki? No way he is ever going to believe it now.”

Chapter Text

“How are you feeling? Better?“ It felt stupid to say that. Bruce could hear how tentative his own voice was, almost shaking. Not because he was afraid, but because it was so awkward. The clone definitely didn’t feel better, his dark gaze was enough to be sure of that.

“I didn’t think you would take part in patronizing me.”

Bruce swallowed and tried to think of something to say. Every word coming from anyone of them had to feel like an insult to the clone. Loki. It was so hard to find a term for him. Technically it wasn’t Loki. This body hadn’t touched anything until three days ago. His heart hadn’t beaten, there had been no lungs in his hair. He had never gone through puberty. It was almost like they had formed a model out of clay, a copy of the real Loki. Except that their DNA was identical. Every single memory in the clone’s head was something Loki had lived through, not him.

Here things really got screwed up, because what really made them two different people? If you argued that the clone was a breathing, thinking being and should be treated equally – would that mean that he should get Loki’s job and be member of their family? If Loki were a regular guy, of course. Easy to say that the clone should start his own life, when he had the exact same personality. He had been made from Loki’s blood. Worst of all, Loki had never agreed to this. But neither had the clone.

“Honestly, I have no idea what to say. I am aware that you must feel like we’re only talking to you to mock you, but I would feel strange being in the same room with you and not making an effort to talk.”

The clone huffed dismissively. “I would prefer it if you kept your mouth shut.”

“That’s kind of strange, I would have believed you to be the kind of person who prefers any dispute or verbal fight over complete silence.” Bruce felt the urge to smile, because that was what you were supposed to do in awkward situations, but the clone probably wouldn’t react positively.

“These are not normal circumstances.”

Nothing could be more true. Bruce nodded shakily before taking another look at the clone. He looked bad. By now his skin had taken on a greyish tone that couldn’t be healthy. Just like lying around in bed all day. Damn the protocol. “How would you feel about some fresh air?”

The clone instantly frowned, distrust obvious on his face. Understandable. “Are you going to toss me off the balcony?”

“Look, right now I just want you to get some fresh air, because it makes me uncomfortable to see your skin tone. Clearly selfish reasons, but you cannot tell me that you don’t want to get out of here for a second.”

After scowling a bit more the clone agreed and slowly got up from the bed. It worried Bruce immensely to see how much effort it took him. As if more parts of his body were hurt, not only his shoulder. He would have to ask him about it later on. With every step it became blatantly clear that the clone was no danger whatsoever. Slow movements that made him seem even more fragile and broken. Nonetheless they made it to the balcony and the clone was greedily sucking in the fresh air. Bruce took a step back, to let him breathe a bit. His long, thin fingers curled around the railing and just as Bruce started thinking about how to improve their living situation, an almost violent shiver went through the clone’s body. Bruce didn’t even have the time to ask him what was wrong before the clone started throwing up blood.

 ***

“Both of his kidneys and his liver are failing.” Bruce’s voice was soft despite the harsh fact that he was presenting.

Clint wouldn’t say that he was particularly moved or shocked by this new fact, but like everybody else he knew what this would entail. Of course everybody was looking at Thor and Steve asked Bruce to be more precise about that meant. “I fear we can’t risk any misunderstandings concerning this.”

So Bruce said what everybody had already been able to read on his face. “He is dying.”

“Then he will need what you call a transplant. One to those.” Thor replied simply, trying way too hard to seem collected when he clearly wasn’t.

Perhaps somebody else would have said something, anything, but as usual Tony was the first one. “That wouldn’t help.”

“I do not care about what you have to say, Stark.”

Tony shook his head and continued talking. Against Clint’s expectations Tony was calm and matter-of-fact. With a bit of empathy. “I know I am in the dog house, but that doesn’t change with what we’re dealing here. Thor, it’s not his kidneys and liver. Every other organ is going to follow suit and no, there is no way to replace them all. It’s entire cell structure is giving in. His body is worn out. As cruel as this may sound… it’s past its expiry date.”

A little change was visible in Thor’s eyes. Like he was starting to understand that he didn’t have the means to make this go away. “How is that possible? He only woke up a few days ago.”

It was up to Bruce to do the explaining and he obviously was uncomfortable doing it. “Well, it’s still more or less a miracle that Hydra could do what they did. They did it badly though. They created all of these clones merely to steal Loki’s powers. They were not intended to use their bodies, to breathe, think, move their muscles. Tony’s comparison is actually pretty accurate. His body is shutting down as if he was an old man. There is nothing we can do about it.”

“There is always something we can do.”

“Not with this, Thor. I am sorry. It’s only a question of days and I am afraid it will happen very fast.”

The big blonde guy who was out of this world and who was strong enough to crush Clint with just one hand had tears in his eyes. “So I have to watch my brother die again?”

Clint could already hear Tony protesting. Surprisingly though he showed some restraint and instead it was Steve who pointed out what needed to be said. “The clone is going to die. Your brother will still be alive.”

“It does not feel that way.”

Thor didn’t say another word for hours, even when they discussed how to tell the clone the truth about his state. They agreed that there was no point anymore on insisting on the truth where he had come from. Why should he suffer even more the few remaining days?

“He is not going to buy that. Not after all of us and especially Tony repeating that he is not Loki.”

“Who is going to tell him anyway?”

 ***

Tony had an uneasy feeling about this, but he was sure everybody felt the same. Granted, there was no right or good way to do it. Telling somebody they were going to die was fucked up. Nobody envied Bruce at the moment. Thor had refused to let him do this alone, although they all had agreed that he should remain silent.

Bruce took his time, explaining slowly but without going into too many details. “… what Hydra did to you, it’s irreversible. It severely damaged your body in a way that cannot be treated. I am so very sorry, but there is nothing we can do. You are… You don’t have a lot of time left. Three days at most.”

Infinity looked up at him, his face resembling more and more a skull. Somebody seemed to have pulled his skin off. “This is you trying to tell me that I am dying?”

All of them stared at the screen and watched Bruce paling. “Yes. All of your organs are… They stop working. I am sorry.”

Instead of feeling crushed and desperate, like anybody would, Infinity smirked coldly. “Oh, this is good. Better than I thought you capable of, Thor. What is the purpose? You think that I will beg you for forgiveness in fear of death?”

“You don’t believe that he is speaking the truth?” Thor mumbled, sounding choked and Infinity spat. “None of this is the truth! You are trying to…”

He did not get to finish what he was saying, blood was dripping down his lip, spraying across the blanket as he coughed. Thor clearly couldn’t move, frozen in shock while Bruce instantly moved, handing Infinity several tissues which he pressed against his mouth.

“I am sorry. This is real. You must feel that. Don’t you?” Bruce said softly, his hand resting on Infinity’s upper arm. He didn’t shrug it off, he was still coughing and when he finally pulled the issue away it was soaked red.

Tony’s stomach was turning and all of Hydra should burn in fucking hell.

“It does feel real, but if I had my powers right now… I could make you feel like you are drowning although you are walking in the desert.”

“Loki…” Thor walked forward and he already looked so broken that it made Tony’s chest clench. Thor’s brother, the one he grew up with, was completely fine, still out and about and yet Thor looked like he could barely walk anymore because the weight of the world was pulling him down. There was still a person withering away that looked just like his brother. “There is no more time for fighting and arguing. Please. I just want to be there for you.”

“I want you to stop this game! You are never going to achieve what you are trying to do!” Infinity gritted his teeth and there was blood on them.

“What do you think that I am trying to achieve? You cannot believe that I would put you through this. I would never…”

“No more lies! You’re making up stories and I am not having them! When this farce is over I will be the one to kill you! All of you! For trying to humiliate me like this!”

So he didn’t believe them and that made Tony wonder just how much an illusion could do. There was no denying the state Infinity was in. For god’s sake he was coughing up blood, his face resembled ashes and there was also something wrong about his eyes that Tony quite couldn’t put his finger on yet. Obviously the clone looked bad and he had to feel the very same way. Could an illusion really do this? Make you feel like your body was falling apart? And how far did this have to go until he had to admit that he was actually dying. At some point reality had to catch up with one’s convictions or hopes.

Thor was definitely sharing Tony’s thoughts, but he used a more emotional approach. The big guy couldn’t be more helpless. “Loki, you know magic and illusions better than anybody else. You know that we are not capable of doing that, even less so of fooling you. You know that this is real.” He was giving the impression that he was about to burst into tears any second, but Infinity didn’t share the sentiment. Even as sickly and fragile as he seemed, Infinity was seething with anger. He was trembling and Tony believed that he would jump up and claw Thor’s face off if he had the power to do that.

“No, you don’t have the power to do that, but you’ve always been good at letting someone else do your work! I don’t care what you’re trying to achieve with this. You’re going to pay for this!”

“Loki… I would never want to harm you and I wish I could do anything to change what is happening, but… ” Thor’s voice was shaking as he tried to hammer the truth home, but Infinity only laughed joylessly. An awful, rattling sound. “You? Doing something? You are not capable of doing anything to me! No matter how much you hate me, you don’t have the guts to go through with it! So when you scheme falls apart, I will show you that I am not a coward!”

The threat couldn’t get any clearer and at some point reality just had to kick in.

“Is there anything we can do… Anything that would make you see if your current state is part of an illusion or not? Anything that could confirm if we’re lying or not?”

Bruce got ignored and Infinity had another harsh coughing fit. The conversation was over since Infinity wanted them out. Rather fiercely.

“I will not let him die alone.” Thor stated softly but with unwavering conviction as soon as they were out of the room.

One day passed without anybody spending longer than a few seconds in Infinity’s room since he quite vocally made clear that he didn’t want anybody there. Deterioration happened quickly though. There was more coughing up blood until his body seemed too worn out to even do that anymore. Every vein beneath his skin was visible, standing out harshly against the paleness. Black and white. His eyes definitely got worse too. By now they had that horrifying yellow shimmer of a severely sick man.

It was in the middle of the night when it happened. Although Tony was sure that nobody in the tower was sleeping, he was the only one sitting in front of the screen, watching Infinity. Tony was into his third cup of coffee, lingering around in his chair. He was definitely going to come up with a stomach ache. From the coffee and from everything else. It was a sickening situation through and through.

There was no need to Jarvis to alert him, Tony noticed what was happening all on his own. At some point Infinity had finally decided that he could not stand lying in that bed a second longer. The problem was that at this time he was way past of being able to do that. To get the blanket off him already looked like an overwhelming task and Tony swore under his breath. “Damn, you idiot. Jarvis, tell him to stay put!”

Since Loki was the worst stubborn son of a bitch Infinity ignored that reasonable advice and tried to stand up anyway which resulted in him crashing to the floor.

“Shit!”

Easily Tony jumped to his feet and ripped the door open, leaving the coffee behind spilled on the floor. It could only have taken him 30 seconds till he reached Infinity’s room. He was still on the ground, trying to pick himself up. For the time it took to take a breath Tony remained rooted to the spot. The sight before him was gut-wrenching. A man whose body was withering away, who was dying, struggling onto his feet and failing. After swallowing quickly Tony joined him. “What the hell are you doing?! Stop moving, you are hurting yourself!”

“I am hurting.” Tony could tell that this was supposed to be loud, outraged and filled with all the anger that one could feel in a single lifetime. It wasn’t there though. His voice was broken, worn out and not able anymore to convey what he wanted to. “All I do is hurting and I want it to stop! You need to stop it.”

It was so much harder to argue with someone who was obviously in pain and barely holding on to his sanity. “Okay, we’ll talk about that later. Now we need you to get off the floor. Come on.”

“I need you to end my nightmare! It is enough! I feel like I am dying like you want me to. Now stop it!”

Still demanding and furious and Tony couldn’t have that now, but brushing him off just felt wrong given the state he was in. Therefore he reached out on instinct, putting both hands on Infinity’s lower arms in what he hoped was a gentle or somewhat calming gesture. But how could any gesture coming from Tony have said effect? “Listen to me. Please, try to calm down for a second and breathe. We are going…”

Tony trailed off, his heartrate speeding up at the horrified look on Infinity’s face. For one or two seconds his hazy eyes had dropped to Tony’s hands on him and now they were wide, desperate and full of terror. A look that definitely didn’t belong on Loki’s features. It was so different from anything Tony had seen before. All signs or traces of anger had vanished and Tony was almost tempted to wonder if it had ever been there. Something had happened. Something essential and Tony had no idea what or how.

Infinity was falling apart. “No. No! By the Norns, no! He would not do that! He would not! Never. Not like this!”

Again Tony could tell that he was trying to scream, that he wanted to scream, but his weakened state didn’t allow it. A brutal sob passed his lips and had his body trembling with the force of it. Out of his depth Tony began rambling in a hopefully soothing manner. “Calm down, please, okay? You’re heading right towards a panic attack and I can’t have that. I need you to…”

“I am dying! He is killing me!”

So this was when reality was kicking in and Tony didn’t like it one bit. It was terrifying.

“Listen…”

Infinity didn’t listen. “How can he do this? He cannot… Thor! Thor!”

“Calm down!”

“Thor! Come here! Thor!”

Not wanting to feel helpless Tony got back up and slid an arm around Infinity’s upper body. There was no way he could leave him on the floor like that a second longer. As to be expected they had company only a few seconds later. Thor was standing in the doorframe, Steve one step behind him. “What happened?”

There was nothing for Tony to say, so he simply made an effort to pull Infinity up. He didn’t seem to weigh anything at all. Infinity didn’t resist when Tony made him sit down on the edge of the bed, his eyes were fixed on Thor. “You cannot do that! Why are you doing this?! You are killing me.”

In this moment not a person on this planet could look more distraught than Thor. “No. This is not me, Loki. But I want to be there for you.”

“To watch me die?! You got to undo this! Whatever you’ve done to me, undo it!”

Moving closer Thor began to plead. “I swear to you, I did nothing of that sort. I’m just as… I am devastated and I’m going to make everyone pay who did this to you. Right now though… please, let me just be here with you.”

“You are killing me! You claim to be my brother and you’re killing me!”

Steve and Tony shared a look and their expressions mirrored their complete helplessness. The situation was beyond their control and so much worse than all the other times the clone had spat his poison at Thor. It wasn’t like anything that had happened between the real Loki and Thor. There had always been spite and anger, but Tony had never seen this kind of desperation.

There were tears in his eyes as he was staring at Thor who tried again to move closer. “Please, Loki, I don’t want you to…”

Thor didn’t get to finish, because as soon as he was close enough Infinity launched at him. It was a pitiful attempt and yet almost admirable. He threw his entire body in it, weakly pounding his fists against Thor’s chest. “You cursed bastard! Why are you doing this?! I am your brother!”

As Thor raised his hands while being unable to do anything Tony grabbed Infinity’s shoulders, trying to push him back down on the bed. It was the easiest thing in the world since Infinity’s body had clearly reached its limits. He broke down, coughing. Little drops of blood were spraying across the white sheets. Tony felt his head getting lithe. “It’s okay. Okay. Lie back down. You’ll feel better…”

Except that he wasn’t going to feel better, he had passed out. Tony got him into recovery position, so he wouldn’t choke if he was going to throw up. “We need to get him on meds. I know he refused to, but he is in pain. Dying is painful and it clearly has been enough.”

Steve was the only one listening to him, Thor seemed incapable of moving, his horrified eyes fixed on Infinity. Tony hated that he had to do this, but the feeling in his guts was becoming unbearable. “Thor, I know this must sound hypocritical and oh so wrong coming from me, but I think it would be better if you stayed away from him. This is putting way too much stress on him.”

Thor’s reaction was almost sheepish. “I will not let my brother die alone.”

Tony closed his eyes for a second. “Your brother is not dying. This man right here is. Loki is still going to be here tomorrow. There is still going to be time to make amends. You being here is just hurting him. He thinks that you caused this and in the short time he has left, I doubt that you could change his mind. He should not have to go through this. Dying is clearly enough.”

“I cannot leave him alone.”

“Your presence is not making him feel better. It’s making everything worse.”

 ***

Of course there was no power or force between heaven and earth that could get Thor out of this room. Infinity remained unconscious for a few hours and during that time they hooked him up to painkillers and to oxygen transfer. Everything about that sight was wrong and Tony would have liked to run far away from it if it wasn’t for that awful sensation that things were going to get worse for the dying man.

“Did you change your mind? On him?” Steve was whispering, trying to gain any attention from Thor who was sitting next to Infinity’s bed while the two of them were lingering around in the doorframe.

“No.” Tony whispered right back. “But it’s different now that he is dying. He is never going to accept that he is not Loki. In a way he is never even going to know. He is never going to get better… So insisting on something that is hurting him would be indeed… torturing him. The problem is that Thor is going to make everything worse. Infinity thinks he is responsible.”

“Kind of understandable…” Steve shrugged helplessly. “He wakes up, his powers are gone and he is dying. The only people around are we and we cannot offer him an explanation that doesn’t sound insane. What else is he supposed to think? Even if he doesn’t want to believe it.”

“Do you think that? That he doesn’t want to believe it? Loki has been going on and on about Thor hating him. Same thing with Infinity.”

“I am not sure.” Steve stated softly. “You saw how he reacted when he realised that this is real… He could not believe that Thor would do this to him and I think that he doesn’t want to believe it.”

Families. The most fucked up thing in the world. “Someone should stay around.”

“Someone is. You and me.” Steve gave him a soft smile and it made Tony feel a little bit better. Not much though.

He had no idea how much time had passed until Infinity finally stirred. There couldn’t be any misinterpretations. He was looking worse by the minute and by now he definitely didn’t have the power to get up anymore. Still as gut-wrenching as before.

“Loki? How are you feeling?” Thor’s voice was hoarse and heavy and Tony was going to scream. Infinity’s eyes darted to his face and when recognition set in he turned his head away. “Leave.”

Tony gritted his teeth at the sound of that. Now they were facing a man who didn’t have the strength anymore to put up a verbal fight. Also Thor definitely wouldn’t leave.

“I can’t. There is no way I can leave you.”

“You’ve left me before…”

“I am sorry, but I am here now. I will not leave.”

Thor clearly thought that to be a loving and supportive statement, but Tony could see the darkness in Infinity’s eyes. Even worse so, the raw pain and that really should not be associated with a face that looked like Loki’s. “Of course you’ll stay. You need to see that your work has been done.”

There was clear shock on Thor’s face. “No. Loki, you cannot… I would never… I have nothing to do with this and I wish there was something I could do to help you.”

“One step closer to slaying them all.”

The way Thor flinched had Tony raised an eyebrow. Something was off.

“Stop it, Loki. It changes nothing. You are my brother.”

“You promised father to kill them all to make him proud. When I tried, he told me no. You were always his favourite and I am the monster that needs to be slain.”

What the hell was going on with that fucked up family?

“No, Loki. How many times do I have to tell you that it does not matter? We are brothers. The blood in your veins doesn’t matter. It does not make any difference.”

Infinity took a rattling breath and it was a horrible sound. “It makes all the difference.”

For some reason that Tony didn’t quite understand Thor seemed to lose a bit of his composure, raising his voice just the slightest bit. “It does not! I’ve told you before and I don’t understand why you keep insisting on something that does not matter. Especially now.”

Infinity opened his mouth to say something, but exhaustion got the better of him. Nonetheless they could tell that the word he was trying to say was “Leave.”

“No, I’m going to stay right here, because I love you and it hasn’t changed anything.”

Tony thought there was a good chance that he was going to throw up when he saw those long, too thin fingers weakly curling around the blanket. At least he wasn’t the only one who was upset by that. Steve was taking a step forward. “Actually Thor, I do think it would be a good idea if you came outside with me for a second.”

Thor looked up in confusion, shaking his head. “I will not leave him alone.”

“Just a second. Right now.” That was the Captain America voice and Thor evidently was so surprised that he got up. Infinity released a staggered breath. Steve took another step forward and led Thor out of the room with a hand on his shoulder. Tony rushed to follow them, closing the door behind them.

“What is it? Time is nothing we don’t have.”

“Thor, I am very sorry to say this, but you should not go back in there. He clearly does not want you there.”

“He is my brother, I will not leave him alone.”

“It is rather obvious that he does not want you to be with him.”

“He is dying!”

Sometimes Tony fiercely admired Steve for always keeping his calm. “Yes, he is and therefore I will not accept you refusing his wishes. If he wants you staying away, you will have to do that.”

Thor’s reaction was complete disbelief. “I cannot do that. I cannot let him die alone.”

Miracles were still happening, because Tony was now going to make a case for Infinity. “Okay… I guess your disagreement in there was about him being adopted? You know the whole Ice Giant thing that you told us about?”

A quick nod. “Yes. Since he was learned about that Loki has always reproached us of thinking differently of him when that isn’t the case. He is…”

Rather harshly Tony brushed him off. “Yeah, yeah. See? You’re now doing it with us. You’re arguing. Arguing that he is wrong.”

“Because he is wrong. His parentage does not matter.”

Luckily for Tony Steve had the perfect answer. “To you. It does not matter to you.”

Flabbergasted Thor frowned. “Of course. That is what I just explained.”

“No, you’re claiming that it does not matter at all, because it does not matter to you. Have you ever considered that it mattered to him?” Steve somehow managed to find a tone that was the perfect mixture of soft and reproachful.

Judging by the look on Thor’s face Steve had just sucker-punched him. “Why would it? Our family never looked at him differently. So why would he…”

“Oh my god and people are seriously calling me a narcissist! Stop for a single second to only think about yourself. It does not matter if you don’t care if he cares. Maybe he doesn’t give a damn about what you think or how you look at him. It’s important how he looks at himself. How he feels about himself. For him it’s a big deal that he was adopted. For him it’s a big deal that he is… an Ice… thing. For you it might be not and every time you repeat that, you’re slapping him across the face and tell him that his own perception of himself does not fucking matter.”

Tony had no idea where this all came from, but he was going to blame Howard anyway.

“I…” Thor swallowed shortly. “I never thought of it this way….”

“Then start thinking about it now. I know we don’t have all the information, but to me it seems like he was being lied to a very long time and you told him he should not care, because you don’t. He cares. If you can’t change your mind, just lie to him, but you cannot sit next to when he is dying and repeat this over and over again. Yes, I know, Tony is being hypocritical, but he is dying. It’s different now. If you want to be with him without making his last hours all about you and agonizing for him… Stop telling him that it does not matter.”

The ache in his stomach finally became easier to bear when Steve squeezed his shoulder. “I agree with Tony.”

 ***

“I know I’ve accused you of lying to me so many times and you did, but that doesn’t mean you’ve never been lied to either… Father never told you about where you came from and after I was told…” Thor hesitated, his hand was resting on Infinity’s arm and Tony asked himself if the other one merely didn’t pull away because he didn’t have the strength. “… after I was told I knew that it didn’t change anything for me. That I still saw you the exact same way. My little brother. The one who would turn into a snake to sneak up on me. The one who went out of his way to protect me during a fight. That’s you and I cannot see you any differently. Not after what you’ve done to Midgard and not after I learned about you being Jotun. I cannot change the way I see you. But until now I did not realise that it changed… the way you see yourself. I am sorry for that. I never considered that.”

For some reason Tony was holding his breath.

“You called them monsters. Promised to slay them all. Why am I any different?”

“I was stupid, reckless and… You are my little brother and as much as I tried to tell myself differently, I will always love you. Regardless of what you do and I wish that it could also be the other way round.”

Thor took a breath and Infinity just looked at him through his half-open, hazy eyes. His face showed that the time left could only be measured in hours, not days. “Why should I feel any love for you when you are killing me?”

Tony’s throat was restricting when he saw the first tears making silently their way down Thor’s cheeks. “It pains me so much that you would believe this, but I guess I must have done something to make you think that and I am so terribly sorry. I cannot stand the thought of losing you or you hating me… or you hating yourself. Father never apologized to you when he should have. I never listened to you when I should have and… I never asked. I never asked how you felt about… having different parents. I never asked how it felt being lied to. I never told you that you were wronged. I am sorry for that. I want you to become well again, I can make up for that, but you are not going to, so I can only ask you for forgiveness.”

Infinity released a breath, sounding choked and Tony couldn’t see another person crying. “I only wanted you to care…”

“I do… I am sorry for not showing you that and I am sorry for doing such a bad job at protecting you. Unlike you did…”

They were both crying and Infinity took a hold of Thor’s hand. He was choked-up, repeating the same words over and over again. “I am sorry, I am sorry, I am so sorry… I hurt you. I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. We both made mistakes… Just please, let me be here with you.”

Infinity tightened his grip around Thor’s hand.

 ***

After about 14 hours later Infinity fell asleep and didn’t wake up again. They held a small ceremony for him, mostly for Thor. Life didn’t go quite back to normal after the body had been buried since all of them felt a new fierce drive to destroy Hydra and get all of their fucked-up employees behind bars.

It was a cloudy Thursday afternoon when Jarvis alerted Tony about a sighting of Loki in the city. Apparently he was sitting on the roof of 35 Hudson Yards, not doing anything. Tony quickly told Jarvis not to tell any other Avenger, suited up and flew off.

Loki was clad in his armour, but not full battle gear. Casually sitting on the ground in Indian style, making some strange wavy gestures with one hand. As it turned out he was moving clouds away, making the sun come out.

He was looking good. Healthy, powerful, strong and in a good mood. Nothing should remind Tony of the man who had died in the tower. Yet everything did.

“Are you playing the weather man now?”

Raising his head Loki smirked at him. “The weather on Midgard is a nuisance. I felt like doing something about it.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t mess with it too much. Might fuck up the climate even more and… Nobody wants that.”

Of course Loki considered that a challenge. “Oh. Mess with it. You mean like this?” Now he was gesturing with two hands and the sun didn’t disappear, but it started snowing anyway.

“Right, like this… Listen, when you’re done with… whatever this is and you feel like not murdering anybody… how about you come to the tower sometime? Of course you have to announce your visit first, but then… I would allow you to come into my home if you want to talk to Thor. About anything. I think there is a lot the two of you should talk about.”

Instantly Loki’s face became that seething angry mask and all Tony saw was the horrified expression when Infinity had found out he was dying. “What would there be for the oaf and me to talk about?”

“Listen, I am not going to play this game anymore. You will pretend to be angry when you are mostly hurt and I know you got screwed over, but you didn’t pull any punches either. The truth is… you are not just a dark hole of evilness like I always thought you were. I know now that beneath all that scumbag appearance you regret a lot of things and so does Thor. So it’s only reasonable that I want the two of you to talk.”

Loki sounded dead serious when he asked Tony “Have you lost your mind?”

Smiling softly Tony shook his head. “No. I just changed my mind about you. I now know that there is a chance for you to come back to the good side and I am ready to help you with that. Whenever you are ready, just give me a call.”

During his entire lifetime Tony had never seen anyone this stunned. Loki was staring at him as if he had forgotten how to breathe and how to think. A moment that lasted about a few seconds then he covered it up with his trademark manic laughter. “You indeed have lost your mind.”

Loki vanished into green light, leaving Tony behind in the beginnings of a snow storm. It didn’t stop Tony from continuing to smile. They had to give him some time to come around.