Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Supergirl holds her position in the night sky, listening for anyone who needs her help. Since the Daxamite invasion, she has dedicated herself to serving her city. She has done the heavy lifting for building reconstruction, with CatCo getting the best photos to show she takes responsibility for the damage her fight with the Queen caused. She has taken an overly keen interest in intercepting cop calls about looters taking advantage of the still damaged buildings. But now, there is nothing. She is too good at what she does, and the guilt and loneliness creep up on her in the silence.

She sent her lover away, and he has not gotten in touch. Mon-El should have reached Mars weeks ago and found M’gann leading the White Martian resistance. He should have sent a message that he survived. She realises that they spent too long saying goodbye on Earth, holding on to what they had as he breathed in the lead poisoned atmosphere. Maybe it would have been kinder to hold him in her arms until he died, the lost Prince of Daxam finding peace in a rival Kryptonian’s arms. Instead, he died alone in her pod in the vacuum of space, his last moments claustrophobic the way she was for twenty four years in the Phantom Zone.

She wants closure. A body to give burial rites to. Her pod crashed somewhere on Earth or on Mars. M’gann telling her that he looked peaceful in death; that it added to the cause of fighting oppression on both of their worlds. Without closure, she cannot move on. She is faithful to his memory, in case he comes back. Miraculous, like him first arriving on Earth a year ago. Did a year change so much? She had romance, a mundane job with colleagues, friends, an adoptive family. She cannot open to them now. The thought of caring, only to lose them hurts too much. It is easier to just be a hero. An ideal. Distant. Unknowable. Untouchable.

“Supergirl…”

She hears her name, whispered in a slight torment. She hones in, readying herself for a dire situation if her name is a plea on their lips. She swoops into the open apartment window, anticipating a domestic with exotic weapons. She lands in the studio space and scans the area. The woman’s pleas are coming from the bedroom. There is no-one else here. Supergirl adopts her standard pose at the foot of the bed. The woman’s eyes are tightly closed and her exposed skin covered in sweat. She scans through the covers for a bomb and a ransom, but her pan down the woman’s body reveals nothing sinister. Quite the opposite, in fact. This woman is pleasuring herself thinking of Supergirl.

She should fly out the way she came. The woman’s eyes are still closed and she would never know. But she does not want to. Supergirl keeps her hero pose, wide stance and fists firmly placed against her gold belt. Only her reddening cheeks indicate the heat within her from embarrassment and baser things. It is a fantasy, nothing more. But Rao, she wants it. This woman is offering sweet praise to her for things that do not require emotional attachment. It is a lot more appealing than applause for laying new building foundations.

She is already suspended in the air thinking about it. No-one is going to get hurt from this, if she makes it about the woman’s fantasy while she’s here and then takes the evidence of their activity back home so she can please herself without holding back her strength. She makes herself horizontal, her cape draping either side of her, and slowly glides forward. She lines up their bodies, and places a hand over the woman’s eyes.

The woman jolts in surprise at her touch. She is embarrassed at being caught in self-pleasure, and then panics at the intrusion into her home. She pushes her hands up to defend herself from under the covers, and hits Supergirl’s immovable frame a foot above her. The woman stills, hitches her breath as she tentatively brushes her hands over her form. When she realises only one person in National City has this body and this hovering ability, Supergirl speaks.

“You know who I am. What’s your name?”

“F-Felicity,” the woman shudders.

“Nice to meet you, Felicity. Can you keep a secret?”

Felicity nods, eager about where this is leading.

“In that case, tell me how I can help you.”

A wicked grin appears on Felicity’s face. “Kiss me.”

Supergirl obliges this and everything Felicity asks her to help with.

~~~

She wants to move on, but her friends keep pulling her back to the Daxamite invasion.

James presses the Supergirl signal watch while she is recovering stolen Daxamite technology. On instinct, she flies to it only to find James unbothered in his CatCo office. He has violated the trust placed in that watch, as the summons was for an article deadline; an exclusive interview with Supergirl about the invasion. She is not going back to that fight in her mind. She should have let Mon-El go when his mother first took him weeks prior. Then there would be no invasion to rebuild from. Mon-El could be rebuilding Daxam as their Prince in a new image, one that honours nobler values than drunkenness and objectifying women.

She is not going back, so she quits her job as a reporter. Repairing the damage from the invasion and moving on is her priority, and she does that as Supergirl and not Kara Danvers. She thinks of Felicity, and how she smiled to know Supergirl for just one night. She had had to keep one hand over Felicity’s eyes to not ruin the illusion, so she saw every nuance of pleasure across her face while she busied her other hand. No-one in her life as Kara smiles at her anymore. They do not want to accept that this is who she is now. She had to suppress the first thirteen years of her life as Kara Zor-El to become Kara Danvers. She can suppress the last fifteen years as Kara Danvers to be Supergirl. The people she is leaving behind should be lucky they are still alive, unlike Krypton and Daxam. She will protect them from a safe distance as their hero.

The universe conspires. She catches the TV monitors at CatCo announcing Morgan Edge, key redeveloper following the Daxamite invasion, buying the Worldwide Media Company. She wants to help James keep his job as CEO. The legal team compile the shareholder information, and inform them that Cat Grant cannot help as she had to remain neutral to become the US Press Secretary. There is only one person Kara knows that can influence a business portfolio that size – Lena Luthor. She has managed to avoid meeting her in person since the invasion, despite the numerous offers in texts and voicemails to meet for coffee, drinks, lunch, and girls’ night with Alex and Maggie. This is not an over the phone proposition, so she goes to L Corp.

Of course, Lena is in her office, already knows about Edge’s tender and knows the various shareholdings. Kara asks her if she can influence Edge because of buying his portfolio, and Lena self-deprecates in reply.

“Edge does not listen to any opinion except his own. Especially not a woman’s.”

Kara will not let anything but Lena down, not even herself. For the first time, Kara forgets about moving on. “Lena, you helped Supergirl save the world. How hard can one stubborn sexist be?”

Lena smiles at the compliment. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Kara realises she has to leave, because Lena opens her up in ways she does not understand. She says thanks, turns around and heads to the door.

“Hey!” Lena calls softly. “I miss you! Is everything okay? I keep trying to make plans but you keep ditching.” Her tone is light, inquiring rather than demanding or presuming the worst.

“I've just been busy,” Kara deflects, keeping it vague to not invite further conversation.

Lena accepts that Kara’s behaviour is not because of her, and she carries on while Kara is still here. “I also wanted to say I'm sorry about the part I played in what happened to Mon-El and that I'm still here for you, if you want that.”

There it is. The reason Kara has been avoiding seeing Lena. Lena is being selfless about her feelings, taking responsibility for her actions, understanding that friendship might be difficult, and making it a free choice to reciprocate. Lena deserves better than someone who cannot even be honest with her.

“No, you did what you had to do,” Kara thinks of the back-up plan Lena made if the Queen of Daxam did not honour the Ancient Duel. Even if Lena had not freely offered the remote detonation of the atmospheric lead to poison the air to Daxamites, she would have taken it. She will not have Lena accused of the xenophobia her brother Lex has. Lena has a clean slate, and Supergirl will ensure it stays that way. “And, that was Supergirl’s call anyway. Not yours.”

Lena nods her understanding at her absolvent. “Brunch? Soon?” she calls out to Kara’s back, but she is already suppressing Kara Danvers on her way home.

The night is quiet. Supergirl hovers in the sky listening for anything to help with. Another woman whispers her name in anticipation rather than fear. Supergirl swoops through the open window to her apartment and lands behind a pillar to survey the scene. The woman has her eyes closed, reclined on her sofa while fondling her breasts through her clothes. Her own nipples react to the stimulation, though it does not show through the emblem of the proud House of El. Supergirl opts for the same introduction – hover over her, cover her eyes, let her adjust to the reality, then make the proposition.

“Nice to meet you, Joanne. Can you keep a secret?” At the affirmative nod, she asks, “Do you promise to wear the blindfold until you are satisfied?”

Joanne groans her assent. At Super speed, Supergirl swaps her hand for the eye covering, which allows her full body movement.

“How can I help?”

“Carry me to bed.”

Supergirl lifts her like she weighs nothing and flies them to the other end of the apartment. Joanne kicks her heels in the air in delight, as she feels the breeze of their movement in the absence of footsteps. It is nice to carry someone when it is not a life or death situation. It is nice to comply with everything else Joanne asks of her.

~~~

Chapter Text

Her family will not let her close off.

Alex comes into Kara’s apartment unannounced. James has told her about quitting as a reporter. Words like “shutting down” and “bad decisions” are thrown at her while Alex paces in the kitchen. The accusatory tone reminds her of how much Mon-El resisted becoming the hero Kara wanted him to be for months. Actually, now she thinks about it, Alex was the one that pushed her towards Mon-El in the first place, in her kitchen over her Earth Day cupcake. Something about making a big issue about Lena being framed really being about fancying Mon-El. Alex assumed Kara was happy with Mon-El because she was elated at knowing romantic love for the first time with Maggie; she had found her match in a woman. Maybe Alex thought the physical match because of coming from twin planets justified the perpetual fighting to get Mon-El to be a better person. It was as if love had transformed Alex from Kara’s greatest protector from physical and emotional harm, to expecting romance at any personal cost.

Kara is ready to separate sex from romance. Back on Krypton, she would be a spinster by now, resigned to a virgin life of community service. Truth be told, embracing her superpowers on Earth had done funny things to her sex drive. The more she embraced her powers in the first year, the stronger her libido became. Yet, her desire was not for James. Instead, she kept looking at every woman who praised her, but knew she would have to find a different outlet. Mon-El was easy. He could take it without her holding back. No broken noses. No threat from involuntary muscle workings. Not that she is going to divulge the details to Alex. No, she is going to perpetuate the idea that it is Mon-El she is missing. In reality, she just wants to be Supergirl, the Protector of National City in the day, and Supergirl the Server of Women through the night. No human attachment, only service. Her parents sent her here to be a hero. Kara Danvers was a mistake.

“Kara Danvers is my favourite person,” Alex says as she goes to leave, with tears rising above her anger. “She saved me more times than Supergirl ever did. So, just think about that while you’re trying to get rid of her.”

Alex leaves. Kara sighs. For better or for worse, she cannot say no to help Alex. If Alex needs her little sister to protect her from knowing more loss, she can do that. That is a service as Kara Danvers. It is the least she can do after Alex lost her father to the DEO and ultimately Cadmus, to keep Kara Danvers safe.

Three more quiet crime nights pass. Supergirl takes action on Maggie’s jibe that the police can occasionally do their job. So she lets the police handle thefts and property damage where humans are not threatened. Three more women whisper for Supergirl in private fantasy through the open windows of their high rise apartments. Elsie, Barbara, and Vicky smile at Supergirl from under a blindfold. She takes the evidence and memory of their sexual satisfaction and praise back to her apartment to climax safely. It does wonders for her brain chemistry and lifts the blanket of pain and depression a little higher.

On the fourth day, the DEO is working in the bay under the belief that the Supergirl statue unveiling is a target for rogue military using fallen Daxamite technology. Supergirl is there, high on a rooftop looking up. She does not need her super hearing to listen to Alex and Maggie confirming their marriage is happening, as they are using DEO comms while they survey among the crowd. Just one of those work/private life overlaps that happens. She is happy that they can make a lifelong commitment to each other. Her own life is much longer than any human under a yellow sun. Every scenario would end in loss.

J’onn flies onto the rooftop, and assumes she is looking for signs of stealth aerial attack. In reality, all five women that Supergirl has taken care of are in the crowd below and she cannot make eye contact with any of them. Thankfully, they are all separate, all keeping the secret. To be honest, they are all radiating a glow that will last until Christmas, and Supergirl is smug that she is the reason. She knows what is coming from J’onn, as tactically being on the same rooftop narrows the surveillance. Sure enough, he tells her she has a human heart from half her lifetime being treated as a human. It is meant to hurt, but that makes her stronger. She remembers Cat Grant telling her that as Kara, before the black veil settled over her mind for months. The flood of feelings of being vulnerable got unexpectedly murky, but she was getting to the other side now.

“How do you cope with not hearing from M’Gann?” she asks.

“Radio silence is needed to protect the resistance on Mars,” J’onn says matter-of-factly, before softening. “But I hold her in my heart.” He smiles gently, before regarding her. “We have to prioritise those who are in front of us.”

A voice comes across the loud speaker announcing Lena Luthor is unveiling the statue. She comes onto the stage to applause. All attention – including Supergirl’s – is on Lena.

“Now, I know you all didn't come here to see me,” she deflects in a cheery voice. “So, I'll start with the good stuff, and then I'll say just a few very brief words. My fellow citizens of National City: The Girl of Steel.”

The large cloth bearing her chest crest cascades to the floor with the same drama as her cape. She already knows what the statue looks like as she has flown around the back over the harbour – it is silver, presumably steel for her moniker, larger than life, and immortalises her in a flying pose. It seems ironic that this site was her first disaster, when she ripped the oil tanker and damaged the ecosystem in her enthusiasm to prove herself. Maybe it is a human thing, to forget and move on, as everyone cheers at the sight.

Lena continues her speech with a bright smile. “I am so honoured to be able to present this statue of our hometown hero. Some of you must be thinking, I know. It's a cold day in hell, a Luthor praising a Kryptonian. But ever since I came here, she has been an inspiration to me. She's been a mentor, and most importantly, she's been a friend.”

Her words, her honesty, her praise… it elicits a whine through Supergirl’s lips and she licks it back under a smile. She moves towards her on instinct. And then, her past catches up with her. A shock wave hits the bay. Lena ducks for cover behind the podium, used to assassination attempts. Supergirl is told the missile was fired underwater. She dives into the water, locates the submarine, and prevents it from causing further damage by flying it out of the water and presenting it to the crowd. Maybe this makes up for the oil spill.

~~~

Kara rushes to L Corp to check that Lena is okay after the attack at the unveiling, and apologies for not calling ahead. Lena was about to call her, too, with the news that she has brought CatCo as Edge was not backing down from the takeover. The reveal causes Kara to step backwards before recomposing herself. That was a harder hit than the submarine missile.

“I'm just trying in my own small way to be more like Supergirl,” Lena giggles as she comes around her desk to be closer to Kara. “And I was hoping maybe you could break the story.”

Sweet Rao. Lena has no idea. Kara was once that enthusiastic about having it all – a mundane job in media, an exotic job dealing with alien threat, an estranged family being replaced with found family, new friends in National City. They had both had their romantic losses recently, which came from their pasts in Metropolis and a red sun respectively. Both were responsible for their lover’s deaths, with their blessing for the greater good. Kara can still remember in vivid detail bringing Lena flowers to this office, and holding her when she described her fear of feeling again while she dealt with loss. Lena has bounced back into living, and seems intent on taking Kara with her.

“Uh, actually I quit,” Kara admits.

“Well, then un-quit.” Lena’s tone is firm and energetic. “I can't do this without you. I literally know nothing about running a media empire.”

“Neither do I,” Kara is quick to reply.

“You know more than I do. You've studied under Cat and I mean - I trust you. How often do you get to work with your best friend?”

Lena’s open honesty and optimism at having it all ends Kara’s resolve. Kara cannot say no to helping Lena as her human alter ego any more than she can say no to Alex.

At which point, Edge comes in to threaten Lena about taking CatCo from under him. Kara makes her excuses to leave and reappears on the balcony as Supergirl. With Lena’s blessing, she whips Edge out of the office. She drops him on a freight ship in the ocean. She tells him she knows he was behind the attack at the unveiling as he would benefit from rebuilding it quicker than waiting for planning permission. And then she flies home.

In her apartment, Kara contemplates Lena’s job offer. Bad point: James will still expect her to write the Supergirl exclusive about the Daxamite invasion. Plus point: Can protect Lena at work due to proximity. Bad point: Will hurt Lena more when she discovers her best friend has been lying to her since they first met. Related bad point: Either Lena will sack her, or worse she will ice her out of her life. Good point: Seeing Lena smile. If anyone deserves happiness, it is Lena. And if Lena wants Kara Danvers as her media mentor and friend, the way Lena thinks of Supergirl as a mentor and friend, she can do that for her. Like J’onn says: Prioritise what is in front of us.

Kara picks up her mobile and texts Lena: See you tomorrow, Boss. Lena immediately replies with a heart emoji. For the first time in forever, Kara Danvers smiles. They spend the night texting, Lena revealing her increasing excitement as Kara feeds her pearls of Cat Grant wisdom.

~~~

Kara Super hears Lena use Cat Grant’s private elevator and listens in to how nice she is to everyone at CatCo on the short walk to James’ office. Everyone is nice to her in reply, genuinely. Kara strides purposely to – is it Lena’s office now she is CEO? If Kara is going to be Kara Danvers, then that means all the traditions, including the planner for the first day at school or a new job. Funny, now she thinks about it, she did not do that for James when he became CEO of CatCo. James seems put out by Lena being here. It transpires that Lena text Kara about being here today – and every day – but not James, the guy that has been running the place.

Before she can think about it, the DEO phones and she has to go. Lena asks her to get the dossier about the Edge case, but is okay with her getting it later. With her Super hearing, she hears back to Lena’s reaction. James is covering for her, saying it is reporting work. James also offers for someone else to get the Edge file but Lena declines. Kara really cannot process how intimately Lena wants this first day at work to be. The work and other work balance is going to be a lot harder than anticipated.

Supergirl gets put back in her emotional prison after being attacked by a Meta human calling herself Psi. Supergirl has always been fine, the best part of her life where she is free. Free to fly in and out of danger, and in and out of women’s bedrooms. This has put her in a tight box with no escape. Alex is telling her she had panic attacks like this when she first arrived on Earth. She does not remember that. What matters is what’s in front of her now – stopping Psi from hurting other people and robbing more banks. Psi caught her off guard this time, but she knows what to expect now so can take her down. But not even J’onn’s psychic block is enough to protect her on the next encounter, and she relives the worst moment of her life. She is trapped in her tiny pod escaping Krypton again, cut off from everything she had ever known. Physical fights are easy, as recovery is passive under a yellow sun lamp. How does she recover from this? People need Supergirl. They need that symbol of hope.

Lena texts her. She flies back to CatCo and to her spot in the bullpen, and Lena detects her presence immediately. Lena perches on her desk and talks softly, trying to reach her.

“I grew up in a house with the most deceptive people in the world. I can tell when someone's lying to me. You don't have to hide from me, Kara. It's about Mon-El, isn't it? So, if you need to take more time, just take it.”

Kara does not know what to say. Lena started the day wanting to spend as much time as possible with her to learn the ropes, and now she is giving Kara a free pass from being Kara Danvers. But Kara does not want to be left alone with her thoughts. She has to try and focus on something other than reliving her first trauma. So she tries to deflect, “It's personal. And I don't want to talk about personal things on my job. I have work to do.”

Lena stands to her full height, faces her fully and crosses her arms. Her voice is soft but firm. “This is unacceptable behaviour for an employee. You ran off this morning when I gave you an assignment. You missed a staff meeting. And now when asked to do a job by your boss, you act like it's an inconvenience. I did not spend $750 million on a company as a favour to a friend, nor do I plan on being an absentee landlord. I'm a business woman and this is an investment. I plan to get out of it everything I can.”

She does not deserve Lena’s kindness as a friend, or a boss. She cannot quit again like she did with James. Her reputation as a reporter would never recover. She knows if she tells Lena she is Supergirl now, she would be saying it as an excuse to get out of work. It would ruin the ideal Lena has of Supergirl with her public mentor having an existential crisis. Lena deserves better. Lena has always believed reporting is Kara’s purpose in life. If Lena can effortlessly have two jobs having survived her family trauma, then so can the Girl of Steel. She confirms she will look into the bank lead on the Edge case. The work is important. It makes a difference.

No sooner has Lena left her desk, the DEO phone her to say Psi has attacked another bank. Kara makes it to a CatCo elevator and partly undresses to reveal her Supergirl attire, before claustrophobia sets in. She panics and flies through the roof of the elevator and the building, ready for directions to the bank. Instead, Alex tells her Psi has already escaped. She does not know how long she was trapped in the elevator, or how James is going to explain to Lena why there are Supergirl shaped holes in her business investment. She has to get a grip.

Kara goes home. She remembers teachings and mindfulness techniques from Krypton. Something she has never thought to use on Earth, as everyone told her to be human and forget about anything of her former life. But if she cannot compartmentalise, she will fail the people who rely on her. She feels like Harry Potter during a Dementor attack, and she is looking for a Patronus. The nightly sex is helping with her depression, but not these panic attacks. So she kneels in front of her coffee table, crosses her hands across her heart, and chants ancient mantras for strengthening the mind. If she has to relive Krypton, then she is choosing which bits to relive on her terms.

Alex comes around, and tells her she will always be there for her. And she proves it. The DEO device Winn designs to inhibit psychic attack just needs to be close enough to work. But Psi gets in her head, and the invincible Supergirl finds herself hiding around the corner of a building. In her head, she sees Mon-El dying in space in an asteroid field, alone, sent away from an inhospitable planet like her parents sent her away from Krypton. In reality, Alex grabs the top of her hand, squeezes. Alex tells her Mon-El is alive, that she just knows it on gut instinct, and tells Supergirl to trust her instinct. Instead of living in her head on what ifs, she asks her heart about Mon-El. It tells her he returned to the Daxamites as they fled Earth. He is their Crowned Prince, and would not abandon them to drifting aimlessly in space. His survival from Krypton’s destruction meant something. He is the hero Kara always believed he could be, fixing the problems Krypton’s demise caused by returning to the now-inhabitable Daxam and leading them in a new way of life. He was in her past now, like her parents, and it is not good to dwell on what she cannot change.

Fear does not control Kara any more. She is not a killer. She always believes the best in people. On the strength of her scarred heart, she easily takes down Psi. She also easily confirms the bank contact Lena found is a great source on the case against Edge. It is a good finish to a turbulent day. Life as normal. Just one thing left to do on the work day: Apologise to Lena.

Kara sheepishly approaches Lena, who has spent the day in every part of the building getting to know everyone and listening to them, so she can run the company in the best interests of all. All Kara has done is talk to one person at a bank and apprehended one Meta human with a lot of help. Kara is a big girl, she can do this. She grabs a fidget cube from someone’s desk when Lena notices her. As always, Lena gives Kara her full attention. She starts with the easy bit, confirming her bank lead is valuable. Then she continues while she can still talk.

“I think I need to apologize for my behaviour earlier. And you're right. I have a lot more baggage about Mon-El than I previously thought. It's not knowing what happened to him that's the hardest.”

“I know it can't be easy,” she sympathises.

“You were just trying to be a good friend to me and I bit your head off. You were a really good friend and a great boss.”

“Thank you.” She takes the apology and the compliment. “This is new for me, too. Having friends, I mean. Let alone working with them. I think it’s going to be a learning curve.” She continues to open up. “And I’d really like to give you a hug, but I’m afraid I’d show favouritism.”

“Uh, screw that!” Kara breaks any social barriers. “Come here, bring it in.” She gestures Lena to come to her, and they wrap their arms around each other. It is a full body hug and Kara applies as much pressure as she dares while keeping the pointy edges of the fidget cube away from Lena’s back. The strength of the gesture gets a chuckle out of her, and it is the most precious sound in the world. It hits Kara that she cannot lose Lena so soon after Mon-El. It might be selfish, but Kara needs her to tether her to life on Earth. Lena is going through a positive upshift and she does not want to falter her steps into a hopeful future. For now, Kara will be supportive but keep her Super secret.

The hug ends when Lena wants to introduce Sam Arias (just Sam), her CFO at L Corp. Kara leaves them to discuss work. It is the end of her media work day. She has her own things to progress with. Back in her apartment, she collects all the items which remind her of Mon-El and puts them in a box. The rest of the night is quiet for public protection, so she privately serves Blaine, then Isobel, then Tanya. They all respond to her words of encouragement, and she takes their praise of her physique and attention back to her place after each visit.

~~~

Chapter Text

The next few months are quiet on the Supergirl front, which is good for everyone. Catco reports peace in the population after the high anxiety following the Daxamite invasion. James and Winn are getting a good night’s sleep as even mundane crime is absent. Alex and Maggie have a bridal shower in the larger space of Kara’s apartment, to celebrate their love with the family and friends that fully embrace them. Alex checks that Kara is okay with the big scale romance, to which she reiterates it is what she wanted Alex to do – to never let go of love.

There is even time for a trip to Mars. Not an idle trip, but a chance to flex her physical strength alongside J’onn and M’gann in the resistance fight. It is beautiful to see the couple fight for a greater future on different planets; they pledge their love for each other, before parting ways. The resistance has a gift – a not-so-mythical staff capable of planet-wide transformation. J’onn has a gift – he is not the last Green Martian as his father has survived imprisonment for hundreds of years. Everyone is getting a bigger family on Earth.

Lena seemed content at James’ explanation that the CatCo elevator damage was delayed damage from the Daxamite invasion. Technically that was true. Lena takes it in stride and hires a different company for surveying structural integrity than the one Cat Grant used, to secure her new investment. James has a lot to say to Kara about Lena’s business attitude. He always seems suspicious of her motives, whether it is adding adverts which read as articles to make revenue, or how she restructures the work/play balance for her employees in all departments to increase morale. She is even employing more permanent staff to decrease the cost of days off with stress by reducing individual workload. It is like James will never trust her for being a Luthor, or maybe he is jealous that she effortlessly has two jobs the way James does with Guardian. Lena gets to expand her media empire, while James has to keep small scale as a vigilante.

Alex is more welcoming of Lena. As she eloquently put, handy in the Daxamite fight for National City. So instead of games’ night with the boys, there is girls’ night featuring alcohol and conversation; sharing rather than competing. Lena is delighted to meet Kara’s family of Alex and Maggie, on the few nights she gives herself off. Kara always tries to wrangle Lena into lunch on the CatCo balcony, to know she is looked after. She is always rewarded with a different bouquet of fresh flowers on her bullpen desk. Anonymously, of course. CatCo’s CEO cannot show too much favouritism to her best friend in their normal working hours.

Supergirl cannot show favouritism in her night time pursuits at all. She has the names and addresses of over a hundred humans in her phone (she asks for their name and consent, not their gender identity). She always remembers faces, but she has to ensure no repeat visits. She cannot give the impression of romance. She cannot risk pregnancy so scans for reproductive incompatibility before starting. It is a fantasy for one night, so they can hold their future partners to good sexual standards. A greater good. Supergirl’s action as a feminist. She has other rules, too: no evidence she was there. These humans literally have blind faith in what Supergirl offers, and they do not want to ruin the fantasy nor miss the opportunity. It is a huge step up from asking for an autograph or a selfie after a standard rescue; saving people from indifferent sex. Seven orgasms is the joint highest. Not that she is counting orgasms as her success rate. She is attentive to their micro movements, breathing, heartrate, in a way humans can never be. She has Super endurance and never tires. A prolonged pre-climax is just as good as a barrage of orgasms. She caresses every part of their body, tells them they are beautiful. And while they are still capable of coherent speech, they say it is better than they imagined.

Kara’s life is amazing. She tags along with Lena visiting L Corp to sign legal documents that Sam cannot pro persona as CFO. Kara jokes that she should not be here as her boss does not like it when she is late for work. The look Lena gives her is just as sultry and rewarding as her serviced humans. Kara mentally checks that everything she does with Lena is primarily for Lena’s benefit. So, she invites Sam to tonight’s girls’ night, in the hope of integrating Lena’s friends in National City. Sam accepts.

The bubble of happiness bursts. There is a leaflet with the symbol of Rao on Sam’s desk, and a date, time and meeting place. The lack of information has Kara’s mind reeling. Worst case scenario: Yet another Krypton-related global take over. Second worst case scenario: The serviced humans of National City are meeting up to spread the word. In either case, she has to find out and stop it. Back at CatCo, James and Winn catch Kara doing research on the symbol to no avail. They say it is a quiet crime night and that they are happy to tag along to the meeting. If it is bad, it had better be the global takeover. Kara cannot explain to her friends the other situation.

The meeting contains a mixture of people she recognises from her public Supergirl work and people who are not familiar to her. The organiser, Coville, speaks about Supergirl as if she is a Goddess sent by Rao to Earth to save people. The words are familiar to Kara from her Kryptonian childhood, but the meaning has been twisted. A girl steps up to the podium and shares her intimate story about being saved by Supergirl after a suicide attempt. She finishes with the message, “Because of Supergirl, I realise that I deserve to be loved.”

Kara has a reality check. She has been so careful to keep her Supergirl identity pure with blindfold precautions and only doing vanilla things – no evidence meant no red patches, welts or bruises. She does not even use harsh or dirty words. She worships these humans for a night because they deserve to be loved. But if people she saves in the light think of her as a Goddess to be revered from a fleeting interaction, then maybe the humans she visits for hours in the dark will, too. She has to try and stop Coville.

But he recognises her as Supergirl. “When you look into the eyes of God you do not forget,” he says. He promises that her secret is safe with him, and that he feels Rao has tasked him with helping her realise her full potential.

Kara asks Winn to check up on Coville and why he knows so much about Kryptonian religion at the DEO, while she has girls’ night at her apartment. Sam, as the new person, gets the spare comfortable chair. She is quick to comment on the sheer volume of flowers in vases, and Kara explains that they are thank you gifts for her work, and she does not have room to keep them all on her desk. Alex and Maggie occupy their usual spot, leaning into each other on the sofa. Lena and Kara sit on the floor on opposite sides of the coffee table, creating a multi-level circle of conversation. As the wine flows, the conversation turns to romance and sex. Alex laughs off her failed attempts at boyfriends before she realised her true lesbian nature. Maggie has equally humorous caught-in-the-act anecdotes in shady bars with previous girlfriends.

Lena talks about a to-remain-nameless world leader who propositioned her by asking if she had received Baptism and Confirmation as he only bedded Good Catholics. She adds that it was nice that he believed in something. Kara zones out of most of what Sam says beyond, “no men since her daughter Ruby was born”, because she is processing that Lena can keep secrets of high profile individuals, and that she is okay with people having religious belief systems they live by. Who was this man – was he married, did he have children? What was Lena’s moral code for casual sex? Had she had numerous partners in her young life? Would she be okay with her mentor Supergirl practicing no-strings sex?

“What about you, Kara?” Sam asks, bringing her back into the room.

Kara puts her wine down on the coffee table and pushes her glasses closer to her face. “My only partner had to go this year,” she says, releasing a huge breath. “But, I am very happy being single at the minute.”

Kara does not miss the look Alex and Maggie share over Mon-El. Nor does she miss Lena dipping her head shyly and tipsily. Kara makes a mental note to keep her night time pursuits in the rent controlled side of town. Lena deserves better than one night with Supergirl, while her best friend is keeping a secret. That would be taking advantage. Plus, Lena may not be into women. Even when she was pushed from her L Corp balcony last year, Lena only screamed in terror rather than calling for Supergirl to save her, so the odds of her calling her name in bed was unlikely.

The conversation lightens. All four of them sign up to be Ruby’s social aunts, as none of the other women are contemplating children.

Duty calls with the sound of sirens, and Alex makes the excuse that Kara should get some ice. Normally she would leave it to James as Guardian but she knows he is having the night off.

The next night at the DEO, Winn explains that Coville is part of a mass rescue by Supergirl, be it train, plane, burning buildings, etc. He was actually part of her first ever save – the aeroplane that Alex was on. It explains why she did not recognise him at the meeting. The first thing Kara thinks is that she may have compromised herself with her secret service, and that is taking advantage. It is the wrong impression if she saves their life and then turns up in their bed. She is always careful to ensure she does not recognise the humans who call for her in their fantasies, but if she is going to keep doing this, then she needs the names and addresses of every rescue. The question is, how does she get this information out of Winn without explaining why?

“Winn, can you transfer all the mass and singular rescues to my phone, including the profile pictures?”

“Is that all? Or do you want a bigger exclusion list?” Winn replies, with a growing smile.

Supergirl blushes furiously. She grabs Winn’s arm and drags him to the privacy of one of the DEO sparring rooms. She takes a deep, composing breath. “How long have you known?”

“Since you got a swagger in your Supergirl step.”

She swats him on the arm harder than she intended. He holds up a mock surrender.

“Kara, it’s my job to monitor all media chatter about Supergirl. It will disgust you to know that lots of Internet groups chat about fantasies involving Supergirl. Usually men boast about leaving a mark on the Girl of Steel, whether it’s physical or their fluids. But only one group has a consistent M.O. It is how you introduce yourself in the encounter, the blindfold, that it is about their pleasure and not yours, and you only visit once.”

Kara covers her face with her hands, mortified to know about perverts reducing the Girl of Steel to their will, mortified to know that Winn has been checking up on her sex life as part of his job. Still, her curiosity is getting the better of her. She hopes the humans she visits enjoy it as much as it seems. She drags her hands down her face and bites at a thumbnail. “What do they say about me?”

Winn keeps it as professional as possible. “The algorithms say that it is the best sex of their lives. That they feel transformed by the experience, like a night with you inspires them to be much better people. They also say they will keep the secret, as they want other people to have the empowering experience.”

Kara lets out a breath she did not even know she was holding. This is much better than she imagined. But her thoughts soon turn to worry. “Does anyone else at the DEO know?”

“Not from me. I only have to tell Papa Bear about things that threaten your safety or your identity.”

Kara hugs him in relief and gratitude. “You’re not mad that I’m doing this?”

“Kara. The day you told me you were Supergirl, I told you that you were a lesbian.” Winn pulls out of the hug to look at her. “I’m adjusting that to pansexual. I’m happy for you that you can satisfy this part of yourself in an ethical way. Now, how big of an exclusion list do you want on your phone?”

This is really happening. Winn, the first champion of her being Supergirl, still supporting her. “I already have the people I have… serviced. But I need the ones I have rescued. I need to know every property the rich and famous have, to keep a low profile. Any military stuff as well, in case they have technology that can restrain me. Aliens from the National Registry, and Meta humans for the same reason. Any employees at CatCo, the DEO, L Corp because it may get out to Lena and impact my work. Anyone who used to live in Midvale and their families, in case they recognise me from before I could control my powers.”

“Sure thing. Now, go back to Coville’s meeting place and figure out why he’s giving you the wrong kind of attention.”

Kara does so, and she discovers a cultural artefact from Krypton, the equivalent of the Voyager Probes, in the back room. It is a microcosm of her culture, another remnant of her home. It explains why Coville knows about The Book of Rao. Before she can get the DEO to retrieve it, she hears sirens calling out from a burning building. The rescue is easy, but it is one of the members of the cult. The guy thinks he has to prove his faith by risking his life. It is so far from what Rao teaches – endangering the self, endangering others and causing damage.

There is nothing to be gained from this, other than dependence on a false idol saving you. She cannot be in all places at once, and someone else could really need her while these cult initiates are being deluded. She learned that when her Uncle Non caused three people to jump from CatCo, and she saved the people that mattered most to her at the time – James and Winn. She is grateful that Alex was not at risk then, as she only has two arms. Alex jumped from the DEO balcony during the Daxamite invasion knowing Supergirl would always save her. If it came to all her friends, she would choose Alex and Lena. She hopes everyone else understands her choice. It is why she was so hard on James being Guardian in the beginning, because he was not at the top of her list anymore.

She goes back to Coville’s meeting place to retrieve the Kryptonian probe and to confront him on purposefully endangering people. But neither are there. Winn relays that Coville is blowing up a stadium full of 15,000 people to prove his faith in Supergirl’s omnipotence. The delusion nearly kills them all. The probe contains a soil sample laced with green Kryptonite. On the plus side, she can prove she is mortal by slicing her palm open. The sight of blood makes all the cult members run away. When Alex arrives, she tosses the soil to a safer proximity. Supergirl heat visions the floor and tells Alex to push the probe into the miles-deep tunnel. Day saved. Coville arrested. Supergirl under yellow sun lamps at the DEO. She tells Winn to add the cult members’ addresses to her exclusion list and he updates her phone with a handy search function; essentially a GPS of red no-go areas.

Kara stays in her apartment tonight. She is not up to any Supergirl activities outside of emergencies and lonely humans seldom call out for her when there is a large scale Supergirl incident reported in the news. She takes time to smell all the flowers that Lena has given her in exchange for good food and good company at CatCo. She showers to cleanse herself. She dresses in loose clothing, lights a candle, kneels by her coffee table, and recites a prayer to Rao.

Though we go forth alone, our soul unites us under Rao's gladsome rays.
We're never lost, never afraid for we shrink not under the Sun of Righteousness.
Rao binds us to those we love.
He gives us strength when we have none.
And in the darkest places, he guides us.
For Rao sees all, feels all.
His love eternal.
Rao, protect us, so that we might protect others.
And we shall rise, a fire in His heart, burning and free.
From Rao's fire you are born.

She keeps the candle lit while she contemplates her life. She hopes she will inspire people to be their own hero, whether as Kara Danvers the reporter or Supergirl in her dual aspects. Her parents sent her here to help people with Super abilities and a compassionate heart. Goodness knows what her parents would think of her in how she interprets that. Her final thought before blowing out the candle is hope that Rao blesses her with a strong heart to tell Lena the truth of her identity soon.

~~~

Chapter Text

It only hits Kara now that the Daxamite invasion was billed as a Supergirl success. CatCo – James – has always put the spotlight on her doing all the heroic deeds, the same way he builds up Guardian’s more mundane achievements. Seemingly, no-one added that Lena’s technology saved the day with the lead dispersion. Because right now, Edge is making a news statement saying Lena is responsible for making children sick from lead poisoning with her Luthor technology.

James says Kara is the best CatCo reporter, and she and Lena head to the Luthor owned hospital to challenge Edge. It is apparent this is revenge for buying CatCo when Edge wanted it, but that does not change the fact that there are sick children displaying lead poisoning symptoms. Kara is quick to assert that Supergirl made the decision to use the technology, so she is equally to blame, but no-one wants to hear it. Lena is the public figure with two public workplaces, a place to stay in National City, a social security number, with enemies who want to ruin her reputation because of what her family did, to a public happy to vilify her for being a Luthor. Supergirl has no address, no financial records, works from a secret government agency, and has a Worldwide Media Company always framing her in the best light, to the extent they minimise the vital contributions by others. She is untouchable.

Back in James’ office, Lena is quick to assert that the public need integrity. If she is involved in the investigation then it may look like tampering with evidence. Whatever the truth is, the public must respect it. She will temporarily step down from CatCo and L Corp, leaving it to James and Sam to do the research on the technology and the children’s medical reports. She cannot be thought to be profiteering from the sick. Helping people has to be the focus. All Kara’s fumbling that it looks like an admission of guilt, reiterating that the device saved everyone on Earth, falls on deaf ears. Lena tells Kara that Supergirl would not have used the device if she thought it was unsafe for humans, and as a scientist she should have confirmed that, regardless of the tight schedule.

The press conference is held in the park outside L Corp. Kara is there as a reporter, a solitary face of support in an angry crowd. She offers a thumbs up to Lena as she walks to the podium. James and Sam stand behind her in an official capacity. Lena’s speech is heartfelt.

“Good afternoon. I'm Lena Luthor. I know a lot of you here are angry. I would be, myself, if I felt someone had poisoned my children. So, my thoughts go out to everyone who is afflicted. I heard what Morgan Edge told you this morning. And I wish I was up here to say something different. But the truth is, I don't know if my device hurt children. And until I do, I realize that none of you can have faith in me. Your faith is something I have worked harder than you may realise to keep, and the fact that I might have lost it breaks my heart. And so, until the investigation into the poisonings is concluded, I shall be stepping down from –“

Whatever placation the crowd had during Lena’s emotional speech evaporates with the sound of erratic gunfire. On instinct, Kara catches the bullet that would have hit Lena. She is still processing that she did that plain-clothed rather than disappearing to reappear as Supergirl, when she realises James has been shot in the shoulder. Both Lena and James are prone on the floor, with James assuming his protective Guardian role over her body, minus his outfit. The shooter is taken into custody. A DEO ambulance comes for James, while Sam takes Lena to her home for safety.

At the DEO, James is physically stable and can return to CatCo but not Guardian duty. He is subtly siding with Edge that Lena altered the technology, even though no tests have been completed yet to confirm the cause of the children’s sickness. He forgets that Winn was an integral part of that process. Winn gets immunity for being James’ friend, and for working at the DEO; it is like he does not exist in this scenario. But Winn does exist, and he runs tests on the device. His and Lena’s original calculations had a 0.04% chance of affecting humans, which they both agreed was mathematical error. But this test says there is a 10% chance of humans being affected by lead dispersion.

Kara’s gut tells her to reject the science. She gets a text from Sam telling her Lena is at her place on her own. Kara volunteers to be with her, so she is not trapped in her thoughts. She can do research as a reporter while she is there anyway. She thanks the day Lena told her to be a reporter, and the day she told her to un-quit earlier in the year. She would always be here emotionally for Lena, but she needs the investigative access without knocking down walls in her Supergirl suit to find the truth.

“Lena?” Kara calls as she enters Sam’s house. She finds Lena in the kitchen, propped up on the counter. Thankfully she has changed out of her assassination attempt clothes and sports an MIT college sweater and jogging trousers. She points drunkenly to broken glass next to her.

“Hey, look, I made a metaphor,” Lena slurs, before asking, “What news from the front?”

“Nothing yet.” Kara lies as she sweeps up the glass.

“You know, you're terrible at hiding things from me.” Lena pointedly looks up at her.

“I wouldn't be so sure of that.” Kara deflects reflexively. Even if she was ready to tell her, now is definitely not the time. Lena needs her friends. “I came to let you know that I'm not done. Not by a long shot. Until we know for sure, I will turn over every rock, and –“

“Just stop.”

The abruptness makes Kara pause. “You are one of the strongest women I know, why aren't you fighting?”

“Because I did it. Kara, I did it. You know, all I ever wanted to be was good. My whole life I was a pariah. First, because I was rich, and because of my brother. And then, finally I did just one thing, one thing that was good, and now I'm the monster that poisons children.” She chuckles resignedly into her wine glass. “You know, even Lex Luthor never did that.”

“There's still a chance it wasn't you,” she tries, because there is always hope.

“I know you believe that everything is good, and kind, and that is one of the things I love about you. But that's not the real world. In the real world, my last name is bin Laden and everything I do hurts people. Hey, you know, it's in my DNA, okay? So, please, just stop. Stop believing me, okay? I am not worth it.”

Kara’s heart pangs. She knows this feeling too well, how the smallest thing can snap us into our deepest fears.

Lena finishes her wine and puts the glass and her head onto the kitchen counter. She is too drunk to be reached with words, so Kara helps her off the stool and walks her to the couch. Lena lies down easily enough on it but protests at the blanket Kara tries to put over her for when her body temperature drops after the alcohol wears off. Not even bottles of wine have taken away the pain as it is etched onto her face. She adds more wood to the log fire to offer physical comfort.

It is not fair. Lena may have done one accidental wrong thing for the greater good, and she and the world is punishing her. Supergirl has done over a hundred informed choices in her nightly pursuits, thinking it is okay because of the clear consent at every moment, and she has people to protect her reputation. She tries not to think about the fact the public are happy that she poisoned thousands of Daxamites on purpose, and they are probably adrift in space with chronic lung and blood conditions. Civilians given no choice, just looking for a new home. There was no way to separate those that wanted to settle peacefully on Earth and those who wished to conquer it.

Kara thinks if the worst happens, she will make a televised public statement as Supergirl taking all responsibility. If they take Lena down, then they have to take Supergirl with them. Lena deserves a full life, one with the children she seems to want if her public speech is any indication. She will not be able to have a full life as no-one will come near her offering friendship or romance. She would not be able to adopt if she is thought of as a child killer.

Kara opens her laptop and sets to work, cross referencing everything she knows about the children and their families through public records. In the small hours, Sam comes back home with L Corp data. They stay up to help their best friend, until they finally get a lead. All the children swam at the same swimming pool. They leave Lena to her hangover sleep while they immediately go to the pool and break in with stealth Super strength. Kara scans the water, and then takes a sample for Winn to immediately analyse through her phone. He says it is a synthetic compound which when mixed with water exhibits the same properties as lead poisoning. Kara immediately phones Lena. Thankfully she answers, and she explains the good news. The chemical is added to the pool via the chlorine water treatment. It was not the dispersion device. Lena is innocent.

Kara makes her excuses to Sam, and flies to the DEO. There is an unauthorised plane in the air, and Kara recognises Lena’s voice from a single garbled mayday before the signal is fully jammed. Questions for later: Why is Lena on a plane? Did Edge go to Sam’s house to retrieve her? How much will this add to her fear of flying? Immediate concerns: Rescuing Lena. The plane is over the reservoir. Supergirl flies into the open hatch. Lena explains that someone is trying to dump the chemicals into the reservoir to poison the whole city. Supergirl pushes on the roof, explains that she is forcing the remote pilot to blow the engines. It works, but the plane splits in two, with Lena in one half and the chemicals in the other. Supergirl puts her hand through the hull of the plane and realises they cannot stay like this.

“I can't hold both!” she exclaims, strong wind causing her to shout to Lena at the bottom of the plane.

“Save the chemicals! Not me,” Lena replies earnestly. Either she is still drunk and in her pit of unworthiness, or she is sobering up and is trying to be a hero by stopping what people previously accused her of.

“No, I'm not going drop you! Climb, Lena. Climb! You can do it!” she commands. Supergirl is not going to lose Lena. She has caught her from a balcony push, flown her from a kryptonite exploding building, safely landed a helicopter, taken the full force of a concrete block thrown at her, moved her from a nano swarm, threatened the Queen of Daxam over the phone, rescued her from kidnap on a Daxamite spaceship, caught a bullet mid-air. She will always protect her, even from her darkest thoughts.

Lena comes to her senses, and starts to climb the rigging on the plane floor to her friend and mentor. Supergirl keeps shouting encouragement, “Come on! Come on! Come on, you can do it! You have to jump, now!”

Lena jumps and grabs onto her forearm. Supergirl drops that part of the plane into the reservoir and grabs onto Lena’s arm firmly. She hopes Lena’s fear of flying is not a fear of heights, as previously she has been in a bridal carry either conscious from the balcony push or unconscious from the exploding Luthor facility. A single arm grip at plane altitude while her other hand is occupied with keeping chemicals dry is not ideal. To Lena’s credit, she is not swinging her legs despite the phenomenal breeze, so she does not have to apply extra pressure to keep her attached. No bruising allowed.

Supergirl lands by the reservoir, putting the plane half safely on dry land at the crime scene. She effortlessly pulls Lena up to her own height so she can stand her toes on her feet, and lands them smoothly further away from the plane. She does not let go as Lena is shaking slightly. Her cape decides to shield Lena from the wind and cocoons them.

“Are you alright, Lena?” Supergirl asks, always concerned for her wellbeing.

“I’m more concerned about my hangover than I am about Edge trying to frame me,” she smiles, a little wide eyed, staggering slightly but being held securely by Supergirl’s arms and cape. It is very intimate. Lena cannot seem to maintain eye contact, but there is nowhere else to look except down at Supergirl’s chest crest. Instead, she turns her head to look at the reservoir. “I suppose I can drink straight out of that knowing that it is safe to get rehydrated.”

Supergirl pulls her arm and cape away, exposing both of them. “Are you okay to get home?”

Lena pats her clothing. “I must have lost my phone when Edge attacked me. I didn’t have my keys or wallet on me to do my press speech.” Lena considers her. “Can you take me to my friend Sam’s place? She’ll be worried about me.”

“Of course. Do you want to stand on my toes or would you like me to carry you?” Supergirl asks, hoping to blame the colour in her cheeks on wind chill. She wonders how far away sunrise is and if the night can keep her secret.

Lena opts for toes, and Supergirl tells her to wrap up in her cloak to keep her warm from the elements, shock, and her lowering blood alcohol levels. Lena spreads her arms across Supergirl’s back. She keeps her head down during the flight, probably to stave off vomiting from motion blur. Her breath is warm against her neck, and Supergirl fights down the memories of all the humans she has held this close recently in this outfit. Lena matters more.

Sam is happy to see Lena, and promises Supergirl she will look after her. They both thank her, and she flies to Edge’s office to confront him. She is ready as Supergirl to threaten him with words, saying he does not know what she is capable of. But she cannot admit any weakness or human emotion as Supergirl. She cannot say she sent her boyfriend away as technically he dated Kara Danvers the CatCo reporter. And as a reporter, she has to prove Edge is responsible for the chemicals and threatening Lena’s life. Everyone makes mistakes, and no matter how well he covers his tracks, he will slip up.

On the flight to her apartment, Kara realises she should talk to James about her extra Supergirl activities. Because she will slip up, and James deserves to know in advance so he knows how to handle the press release. She will wait until his shoulder is better. One injury is enough.

The next day, the news reports that Lena Luthor was framed and is innocent. She reinstates herself as CEO of CatCo and L Corp. The latter synthesise a successful antidote to the chemicals to treat the children. Lena and Kara celebrate with Sam at Sam’s place with wine in front of the log fire. Lena makes a heartfelt confession.

“You guys, I need to say thank you for not giving up on me and not letting me give up on myself.” She turns to Kara, who is practically sitting on her on the sofa to keep her grounded. “I probably also should apologize to you, I mean - I'm lucky you're still speaking to me.”

“Hey,” Kara starts gently. “When you're family, you can say what you need to say and the people that love you still will love you.”

Lena is humbled. “I've never had anyone like that in my life.”

Kara notes that Lena did not reject her saying family rather than best friend. She takes the opportunity to place an arm over Lena’s shoulder, gently pulls her towards her, and rests her head against her. Lena leans into it and sighs. Sam cuddles up to Lena from her other side. They all savour this bond. Kara hopes it will last.

~~~

Kara tries to talk to James at CatCo, but he is too busy. He is literally doing things single-handedly with his healing shoulder and refuses to let other people take on his workload. She sends him and Winn a text message, because they cannot do Guardian duty while James is healing: Games’ Night, my place? They both reply yes, but Winn will be late as he is busy writing software programmes for the DEO. It is perfect to give her more time with James, to tell him about her extracurricular Supergirl activities.

Naturally, James brings pizza and potstickers to her apartment. He really has buffed up to be Guardian as he carries it with one arm in a giant bag, which Kara happily takes from him at the door. While she unpacks the goodies at the coffee table, James comments on the sheer volume of flowers in vases dotted about the place.

“Have you got a secret admirer?” James jibes.

Over a hundred, Kara thinks to herself. But she answers honestly, “It’s how Lena says thank you for me making sure she remembers to take a break and eat while at work.”

“Huh. I took a bullet for her and she hasn’t sent me flowers.”

“But have you told her you like flowers? I’m sure she’d send you some if you tell her.” Kara touches the orange flowers which have prime position on the coffee table. “She knows I love plumerias but they are rare so she can’t get them often.”

James sits on the single chair to support his injured arm. Kara positions the open boxes of food closest to him on the coffee table. She takes a pizza slice before sitting on the sofa, perched on the edge. She fiddles with her glasses with her free hand.

“So, there’s something I wanted to ask you. What’s the worst thing you think Supergirl can do?”

James regards her, a disbelieving smile appearing on his face. “Kara, you always do the right thing. The only time you do bad things is when you’re under external influence, like the red kryptonite.”

The reference is not lost on Kara. That was the time she lost all inhibitions and, among other things, came on to James in a nightclub.

“I was thinking about how the media vilified Lena, when she’s been framed twice. First by her mother and then Edge. People were so quick to believe she had done wrong and wanted to tear her down. I wondered what it would take for people to think about Supergirl like that.”

“I will always ensure Supergirl gets positive press. You know that,” he reassures her, contentedly eating a pizza slice.

“What if I don’t deserve it, though?”

James swallows and continues happily. “The world needs heroes, Kara. You’re a tangible symbol of hope to people. I won’t be the one to take that away from the world. Cat Grant believed in Supergirl and as her successor at CatCo, and as your friend, I will defend you and your belief in hope, help and compassion.”

“I always answer when people call for me,” she nods.

“I know,” James confirms, showing his secret signal watch on his good arm. He reaches for another pizza slice.

Kara is still holding her first pizza slice, more concerned with the topic than the topping. “You know how you unmasked as Guardian, so the psychic kid would see a side to you he could relate to? I’ve been doing something like that.”

James stops eating, preparing himself for whatever comes next.

“Since just before the Supergirl statue was unveiled in the harbour, I’ve been visiting humans who call for me from their beds. And, and I help them with their fantasy by being very tangible.”

James bolts out of the chair and into the kitchen, distancing himself from this revelation.

“I thought you should know, just in case it ever gets out,” Kara adds. James is still struggling to make sense of it, so she adds further information. “Winn knows. He’s been helping me. He updates the no-go addresses so there’s no conflict of interest with my, er, known Supergirl activities, and people with a higher risk of blackmailing me or revealing my identity.”

When James can look at Kara, tears are in his eyes. He is seeing a truth he does not want to: His best friend sleeps around prolifically. All he can ask is, “Why?”

“Because I have needs. Sexual needs, which started around our first date. It was like embracing my powers on Earth woke up this part of me, and physical fights and meditation only curb it so much. Mon-El came at the right time as I could let go with him that way because of our physiology, but emotionally he wasn’t worth it. So this is what I do – no strings, safe sex with blindfolded humans to keep the fantasy.”

“Why as Supergirl, though?”

“Because if I did it as Kara Danvers, no-one would take me seriously as a reporter. They would assume I only get the scoops and stories I do by sleeping around. It’s not like CatCo publish any articles about female and gender diverse sexual liberation.” She pauses while James takes that hit, and changes back to her personal circumstance. “I like my job as a reporter, and I like my work as Supergirl. But using my powers has this effect and this is the best way I know to balance that.”

James laughs a little, starting to appreciate why this is happening. “You’re sure it’s not red kryptonite?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she smiles.

James comes back to the chair and sits down. He is still shaking his head, trying to make this new information sit in his brain. He absentmindedly reaches for another pizza slice. Kara starts to pick at the toppings on hers.

“I may need to ask a favour of you at work about this. If I have to interview someone who has been serviced, I may ask you to give the case to someone else. They might not know my face as Supergirl up close because of the blindfold, but I probably won’t be able to conduct the interview because I’ll be picturing what they were like in bed. It will be unprofessional all round.”

James nods his agreement, before adding, “You really enjoy making these people sexually satisfied, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Kara quickly affirms as she finally eats her pizza slice. “I don’t say that as a boast!” she adds as James quirks an eyebrow at her. “Ask Winn. He’s running statistics on the forum.”

Right on cue, Winn opens the door to Kara’s apartment. He brings gifts of beer and ice cream. Kara instantly tells him that James knows the other secret. The rest of the evening is set up with Winn’s comment as he pulls out his phone, “My man, let me show you how humans like to be loved. She is so prolific we can count the days by the number of lays.”

~~~

Chapter Text

Alex and Maggie split up. Alex wants to be a mother more than she wants to be with Maggie. The wedding is cancelled, and they go their separate ways. Kara tells the DEO they will have to do without her and Alex for a few days while they go back home to Midvale. The change of scenery will do Alex good, even if she stubbornly does not realise it yet. At least she has a home to go to when dealing with loss. Kara’s loss is her home.

Eliza welcomes them on the drive with hugs. Alex soon retreats into the house, and Kara onto the porch. She listens to the sound of trees rustling in the breeze, wild animals living among them. There are no cars, no people, no-one calling out for Supergirl from their bed. Just a sky, which sees sunset and turns to stars. Kara can see Krypton’s and Daxam’s red star in the turning constellations.

“I made coffee in case this turns into a teary all-nighter,” Eliza announces her approach to join Kara. She hands the mug over and snuggles under a blanket of her own.

“You don't have to stay up.”

“Well, this is the mom fine print. When your child's in agony, you show up regardless the hour. And I don’t just mean Alex.”

“You're worried about me?” Kara tries to keep a neutral tone. There is no way Winn or James would have told Eliza about her extra Supergirl activities. She anticipates the morality speech of committed romance.

“I think I worry about you more than Alex. Losing Maggie is going to be excruciating, but at least Alex doesn't close herself off. You have the most wide open heart in the world for other people. But when you feel weak, you punish yourself for it.”

Kara relaxes. She already knows this, but is not expecting what comes next.

“Have you told Lena who you are?”

Kara’s eyes bulge at the question. Eliza smiles knowingly behind her coffee cup. She blows on the surface, takes a sip, and continues.

“You have invited Lena into every part of your life for two years. When you mention her on the phone to me, you sound happy. When we have Thanksgiving dinner and she is mentioned, you have a dreamy look on your face. And you are terrible at keeping secrets, which is why Alex is so hard on you about keeping your identity safe. So why is Lena the exception?”

Kara’s mind is reeling. Was her love for her best friend/new family addition really that obvious? In her heart, she knows knowing Lena in both of her lives is selfish. When Mon-El told her the truth about being the Prince of Daxam after months of monopolising her time mentoring him as a hero and integrating him into human life, she ended their romance because it was based on a lie about who he was. He was not just born on a cruel planet, but he promoted and benefitted from it. Kara knows she is walking a very fine line with Lena, and always tries to do the right thing by her because she deserves every happiness. But it is still two friendships based on a lie. Kara fully expects Lena to feel betrayed by the truth, thinking more sinister intentions because that is how her family have always treated her. She knows they can work together clinically at CatCo and as Supergirl, but Kara clings to Lena’s smile as it gives her strength. She would die inside if Lena was cold to her, and it is a loss she cannot take yet.

“I can’t lose her. I’m not ready to,” Kara confesses. Eliza seems content with this information. They both sip their coffee. Kara regards Eliza, “How did you cope with losing Jeremiah?”

“I had to prioritise what was in front of me. I made sure his sacrifice to keep you and Alex safe was honoured. I still had a career as a scientist, a community in Midvale with lots of friends. It hurt for months going to bed alone, seeing all the reminders of fifteen years together in our home. I worried about how Jeremiah was being treated by whatever government organisation had taken him. When you rescued him last year, it was strange. He was a stranger to me. And while he wanted things to go back to how they were, I knew we were completely different people and needed to see if we could be friends, let alone more.”

She is reminded of J’onn’s words – we prioritise what is in front of us.

Eliza continues, “What would you do if Mon-El walked up that drive right now, expecting things to carry on as before?”

“Hug him. Cry. Be absolutely relieved that he was alive and well. Ask him how he was able to breathe the atmosphere.”

“And then what?”

Kara considers her feelings about him, “I’d tell him I romanticised him in his absence, the way I did with my parents after Krypton died. But I gave him more chances than my enemies to be better because he was more tangible than a hologram in reminding me of home. Every moment I spent convincing him to be better was a moment taken away from someone who was committed to improving and happy for my help. He played the fool to avoid taking responsibility. I deserve better.”

“Okay. If you’re definitely over Mon-El, then my advice is to tell Lena before Christmas. You owe it to both of you to stop pretending and move on with the truth. Even if you lose her, she has Sam and you have Alex to help you to be vulnerable.”

Eliza leaves her to her thoughts. Kara decides to pour a fresh coffee for Alex to see if she wants to stay up and chat about her loss. But Alex is already in her angry drunk mode so they go to sleep. Kara wakes first so she can spend as long as she wants in the bathroom. Eliza makes a mountain of food which she definitely has an appetite for. She takes her coffee onto the porch to savour rural life.

She still checks her phone, though. Winn has decided to send her regular algorithm updates about the forum, codenamed National Service. The statistics say they always choose the Super speed of her fingers over any vibrating toy, because they can have the toy any time. They all love the introduction to prove it is her. They think asking for consent is very sexy. They love how the cape drapes over them like a protective cocoon. The disabled are particularly appreciative, as Supergirl’s strength and delicate touch means no other people or hoists are needed in assistance, and she can monitor their vitals better than machines for over-exertion. Both disabled and Trans feel great about their bodies after the encounter, as society in general does not want to admit they exist. They all feel respected, valid, worthy of love, and are very grateful.

Kara smiles to herself, happy to be of service. She hides her phone when she hears activity in the house. Alex comes out onto the porch, looking refreshed and no longer angry.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I needed to wake up somewhere that wasn’t my empty apartment.”

Kara smiles softly. “We will always get through things together. You’re my home, Alex.”

“And you’re the sister I never knew I needed,” Alex reaffirms.

They hug for a long time, savouring the peace. The rest of the day is nostalgic about life before National City, the DEO, Supergirl. They purposely avoid talking about important things, because loss never gets any easier. But life goes on, and it is good to enjoy the simple things. In the evening, Eliza comes home and they sit to eat wholesome food. Alex and Eliza discuss medical things which mostly fly over Kara’s head. Alex already feels ready to go back to normal life, so they stay for that night. In the morning, the car is filled with leftover food parcels for the journey to National City.

~~~

At the DEO, J’onn calls Supergirl into the privacy of his office.

“I may not be able to read your Kryptonian mind,” he begins, “but I can read Winn’s. I told him to show me the forum about your extra Supergirl activities.”

Supergirl ducks her head, presuming this is the end of it. She will just have to punch her way through endless concrete blocks to do something to quell that surplus energy. She would love a big fight, but that would mean a major threat to the population, or a conflict of interest with the DEO prisoners. She does not think J’onn would be cruel enough to suggest high strength green kryptonite to dampen her desires, even if they had any left at the DEO after Superman took the supplies.

Instead, J’onn flips open a file. “Codename: National Service,” he states. “This is the protocol to ensure you are safe, the people you service are safe, and that your secret is safe.”

“You’re not stopping me?” she asks in disbelief.

“My role at the DEO and honouring Jeremiah’s wishes is to protect you and your identity. You wouldn’t be doing this if there was a viable alternative. It has not decreased your ability to perform your Supergirl duties. There is negligible impact on the budget.”

She tries to grapple how matter-of-fact J’onn is describing her sex life. It is a long way from all the forms and seminars she had to do when dating a co-worker at the DEO.

“However,” J’onn continues, “I am stipulating more ground rules. First, you must come back to the DEO to go under yellow sun lamps after each person. You may be immune to human disease, but other humans are not and we cannot risk transfer between people, whether you service another or touch people in your public role. There are diseases that antibacterial soap doesn’t kill. Second, you must scan every person for unusual physiology before entering their premises. Not every alien is registered, and many pass for human like you and I do. We cannot risk you being overpowered by non-human physiology, or a Meta human. Third, you must scan the premise for lead, kryptonite, or other non-Earth materials with tech that Winn is building. Someone may not have direct links with aliens and Lex or Lillian Luthor, but they may be bribed or duped into using this service as a trap. Fourth, you will message Winn when you enter a premise, so he can scan for recording and livestream devices and block them. Fifth, in the event that you’re identity or safety is compromised, I will mind wipe the individuals involved. Sixth – and I know you already do this – but the pleasure cannot be yours during the encounter, to ensure the selfless service aspect of the Supergirl identity. You have no equal on this planet and it cannot be seen as taking advantage. Seventh, you cannot interact with people who have reproductive capability with you. Eighth, a human decoy is being trained for plausible deniability. She will have a similar costume and advertise her services the way you do. Any questions?”

Supergirl tries not to laugh. She is used to people discussing her attempts at romance and presumed sex life, as that is what happened with James and Mon-El. But this is a whole new level of consideration for everyone involved. It is bad enough with Winn having second hand information about her antics through the forum, but the fact he has to know as soon as she wants to engage, and may actively scan for recording devices during the activities is… not actually enough to quell her libido.

Supergirl does have a question, though. “J’onn, you’ve been on Earth for hundreds of years. How have you not been tempted?”

“Simply, my kind needs a telepathic bond to interact sexually. I was the only Green Martian on this planet. Until M’Gann, it was never a consideration.”

She nods her understanding. “Thank you.”

“We need to co-sign this document.”

They do so. She now has legal permission and protection to sleep around.

~~~

Kara thinks she is imagining it, but there seem to be more apartment windows open at night. It is a month before Christmas, and while the weather never gets cold, it still does not warrant this much natural fresh air over using AC units. She also thinks she is imagining more people calling for her for her private service. She has had a few false starts. She flew into a role playing scenario where the partner wore a convincing cosplay of her outfit. She has learned to check for a wedding or engagement ring before starting an encounter. Someone turned her down as they were asexual and it only works for them as a fantasy.

Some people look too young, and she cannot risk underage sex. Plus, she does not want to be someone’s first sexual experience. She is good, perhaps too good, and every partner after may not measure up to that memory. She tells Winn to put people under twenty five on the no-go addresses. Her demographic certainly skews to the older population and Winn reports from the forum that the senior citizens appreciate being considered sexual beings. She cannot show bias in who she visits, and pleasure and gratitude bridge all ages, genders (without reproductive compatibility), class (provided they are not famous), abilities (provided they can consent), ethnicities (of humans), creeds (praising God or a deity in a pantheon like Artemis). She is pleasantly surprised by the number of single women, like her.

She definitely does not imagine the crowd’s reaction to her recent daytime save as Supergirl. Felicity smiles at her (she was right, she still has orgasm energy that may well last until Christmas) from behind the barriers, and Supergirl’s cheeks flush slightly at the attention. A DEO agent asks Felicity why she looks so happy, to which she replies, “I’m just a really big fan of the work that Supergirl does. I hope everyone knows how brilliant and selfless she is. If she ever wants free samples from my workplace, she only has to ask.”

Back at the DEO, Winn pretends to be a serviced individual on the forum, and suggests all the offers of free items for Supergirl as a thank you are donated to charities for alien refugees. The National Service file is updated: No attempt at a contract with exchange of goods. The service must be anonymous and non-committal.

Felicity is not the only part of her past which turns up. In a convoluted twist of fate, Mon-El finds himself back on earth. Kara was right – he survived, he united his people being the hero she hoped he could be. The unexpected details are the Daxamite population getting projected into the thirty first century via a wormhole, where there is a cure for lead poisoning thanks to L Corp (Lena will be thrilled to know her legacy). He has lived in the future for seven years. During that time, Mon-El entered an arranged marriage with Imra Ardene of Saturn’s Titan moon, in order to secure an alliance with Daxamite’s and her people. The wormhole is a two-way portal, but they overshot by thousands of years. They intended to stay in stasis until they woke up in their time again. This explains why the ship was encased in rock in the harbour of National City, and why Edge’s submarine missile attack woke them up too early with system damage. They need repairs, and are happy to help out while they are here.

After the relief at her heart being right about Mon-El being alive, the irritating details of their time together come back. She realises she really did romanticise the past, the way she did with her parents. Yes, she was loved by all of them. But that did not change the terrible things they did. Mon-El really took advantage of her generosity, to her disadvantage. Like the time he got her drunk in the alien bar and she fell asleep at the DEO when she was on active Supergirl duty. Like that time she got Mon-El an internship at CatCo, and he tried to have sex with Eve in the building on the same day. She could have been sacked for both things. While she is still feeling annoyed, she flies back to her apartment, picks up the box containing everything that reminds her of him, and takes it to his and Imra’s quarters at the DEO. He has moved on, and so has she.

~~~

Chapter Text

The past also shows up in the form of a wedding invitation. Barry and Iris on a parallel Earth are tying the knot. Alex is keen to go, to get away from current reality. Every time she is in DEO encounters, she equally hopes and dreads to see Maggie there because of the feelings it will bring up. Of course, Maggie has been assigned police duties in a different city, but it does not change the mourning process. Meanwhile, Kara wants to go because she has not seen her other-Earth friends for ages, and she is keen to see a celebration of people who survived Barry’s secret identity revelation. Barry is a lucky man, and Iris is a forgiving woman.

The night before the wedding is wonderful. Kara sees Alex get drunk and disappear with Sarah. Barry asks Kara why Mon-El is not here as he was on the Invitation. She explains the convoluted scenario of time travel, monarchy and arranged marriages. She also insists that she is the happiest she has ever been in not looking for romance. She has Supergirl, a mundane job, friends, family, and is truly happy being single. She declines to mention why that is.

The morning of the wedding, Alex stumbles to the church hungover. She is complaining about the brightness of the sun on this Earth from behind her oversized sunglasses. Sarah joins them a few minutes later, asking if Alex is okay as she fell out of bed hard this morning. Kara tries not to laugh. Seemingly, they have both gotten over their first serious romantic partners with no strings sex. Alex turns a shade of beetroot red with embarrassment, saying her three mutual orgasms are somehow a bad thing that sleazy men would do. Kara reassures her that she is a healthy single lady who has had a great time at a wedding, which was the purpose of this trip. Kara’s too amused to tell her she knows this from personal experience. She likes that she has a secret Alex does not know about.

The wedding does not go as planned. Their counterparts from a Nazi Earth trash the ceremony. Ultimately, their objective is capturing Kara, which they succeed in doing. Her Nazi self is in need of a heart transplant because hers is damaged from flying too close to the sun. While captive under a red sun lamp and strapped to an operating table, they have a heart to heart chat.

“We are Gods, with white skin and blonde hair; perfection to be worshipped,” her Nazi self begins. “Humans crave to be ruled, and I give them what they want.”

“No,” Kara gasps, getting progressively weaker under the lamps. “People desire leadership. They like a positive example to be inspired by. We should use our power to help people, so they can rely on us when everything else fails. I’m not going to take advantage of someone just because I can.”

“You could have your pick of any human as a partner, yet you can’t even find someone to bring to a wedding. How pathetic.”

Somewhere out there, there is a parallel Earth where romance is not the ultimate goal people define themselves and others by. Kara just has to find it.

“Please, let me go,” Kara tries.

“People are honoured to die for me. What do you care if I take your heart? You’re not using it.”

“At least I have one,” she retorts.

The husband of her Nazi self comes into the operating theatre. Kara still gags at the thought of being romantically involved with the good version of Green Arrow, not least because he has a long term romantic partner. Her Nazi self is gassed unconscious ready to receive her new heart, and as both Kryptonians get weaker under the red sun lamps, Kara contemplates her life. Her end has never been so passive. Obviously, if a rescue attempt at this point is unsuccessful, then she will offer herself back on the operating table; her life in exchange for others to have the chance to save the day. Dying as a hero is easy. Alex, James, Winn, Kal, J’onn, and Eliza would all understand her sacrifice.

But Lena would not understand. Lena will lose her mentor in Supergirl and her best friend Kara Danvers in the same stroke of a surgeon’s knife. Kara has no idea what cover story the DEO has planned for her eventual death. She does not know if she needs to write a will about the people she wants to know about her secret posthumously. There is only one person on the list. She prays to Rao, asking for her to be spared until Christmas so she can tell Lena her secret. She has been taking advantage of Lena by knowing her in all parts of her life. She will take the pain of Lena’s rejection, because Lena deserves to live in the light of truth.

Rao hears her, even if he cuts it a bit fine on the delivery. The surgeon’s knife is nanometres from her skin, when Atom pushes it away from her. Immediate threat averted. Eventual day saved: In an epic battle where everyone fights the dark version of themselves, Supergirl flies her Nazi self into orbit. In a really bad case of sunburn, her cells oversaturate with yellow sun energy and she combusts. With no-one to receive Kara’s heart, the bad guys leave. It is not without loss. But Alex and Kara go home with a reaffirmed sense of what to do with their lives. Alex will not go back to Maggie and commits to being a mother. Kara has had a really big fight so does not need to perform National Service, and commits to telling Lena the truth by Christmas. If Alex can give up her known happiness with Maggie for an unknown future, then Kara can, too.

~~~

Two weeks before Christmas, Alex is already in Kara’s apartment when she flies in through the window from her night time service.

“Where have you been?!” Alex exclaims, waving her phone at her. “I’ve tried phoning you and the DEO but it’s radio silence -“, she stops almost comically at the sight.

Supergirl is covered in blood and viscous fluids – hair, face, outfit, everything. She goes to hide it with her cape but realises the futility of the action.

When Alex can process what is going on, she asks irritated, “Have you been on a covert mission, without me?”

“Uh, yeah. You could say that,” she says truthfully, while sticky residue starts to descent to the floor. Her libido is waning at the same rate.

“Do I have the clearance to know about it?” she asks slowly.

“Um, I guess,” Kara tries not to smile. She is going to savour this, even in her current state. “Do you remember me being super supportive of your one night stand with Sarah at Barry and Iris’ wedding? Well, I speak from experience.”

Kara commits Alex’s face to memory. It is priceless. This is the best secret reveal ever. All the years Alex worked at the DEO and Kara did not know, she finally has payback.

“You sleep around,” Alex manages, dumbfounded by disbelief. “As Supergirl.” Alex gestures to the various liquids. “And this is…?”

“From someone I was holding up above my head to eat out to their fourth orgasm, at which point they gushed their sexual and menstrual fluids all over me.” Okay, that did sound like a boast and an overshare, even between lady-loving sisters. “I’m meant to go straight to the DEO after encounters for sterilisation but I’m making myself more presentable, otherwise everyone will stare worse than you are.”

Alex starts pacing the apartment with her moral high ground. “This is wrong. You can’t do this.”

“J’onn and Winn help me in official DEO capacity. James knows, too.”

“It’s, you just, can’t.”

“I don’t remember you being this bothered when Lena mentioned sleeping with world leaders.”

Alex stops dead in her tracks. “Lena is not under my protection.” Alex points at her. “You are.”

“I know that sleeping around is not for you. But if you were a single mother, would you honestly be satisfied on your own? Or would you take romance and sex if it was available?”

Alex stays put because it is a valid point, but she is still angry. “Why can’t you be like Clark?”

“Because like humans, we have diverse sexuality. He’s probably demiromantic asexual. He’s never going to break Lois in bed because it’s not about his pleasure. I’m doing that – making it about my partner’s pleasure and then bringing it back here to sort myself out.” Kara coughs. “Thanks for killing the mood, by the way. What did you want to see me for?”

“I don’t actually remember,” Alex softens. “I was concerned that your phone wasn’t on, because it’s always on.”

“I have to maintain radio silence during encounters to keep the fantasy. Don’t need a buzzkill,” she lightens the tone.

“So, you’re an Intergalactic Playgirl?” Alex adds her own humour.

“Yeah, I’ll take that.”

“God, Kara.” Alex exclaims as she realises, “You’re really not my kid sister anymore.”

Kara’s trying not to smirk at the comment, while she stands here covered in someone else’s sexual fluids wearing her Supergirl outfit.

“And I’m never going to be Clark, either. I mean, I appreciate that you and Eliza wanted me to have a normal human life. But I can’t have sex with humans because I can’t give into my passion without hurting them. When I want to enjoy it, people’s noses get broken in a kiss. If I tried to date anyone, they would assume I was withholding sex until marriage, and if it got serious enough I’d have to tell them I’m an alien and they’d probably leave and I’d have to move cities in case they told anyone. Even if they stayed, they wouldn’t even be able to eat me out because I’d probably break their neck clamping my thighs shut on instinct.”

It is clearly written on Alex’s face that she has never considered these things. Which is fair enough, given how much she suppressed her own sexuality until recently. “You’ve given this a lot of thought,” she concedes.

“Yeah. And I’m happy. I really am.”

Alex regards her, scanning her for overcompensating or lying. But there is only truth.

“Under normal circumstance, I’d hug you now,” Alex says, part joke and part serious.

“Okay, I’ll clean up, if you want to meet me at the DEO?” She gestures to her current attire. “I can’t fly you in case I’m contaminated.”

Before Kara makes it to the shower, Alex calls out, “I’ll need the list of the women you’ve been with. I’m not competing with your skill set.”

~~~

Chapter Text

It is Christmas. Okay, technically it is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year and heralding the return of light to the world with the days getting longer from this point. It is the only day everyone in National City has managed to get time off work, because crime is non-existent and there is nothing new for the DEO to do or for CatCo to report. It also seems that the single humans are too busy with holiday preparations to think about their sexual fantasies. Alex, J’onn and his father M’yrnn, Winn, James, Lena, Sam and Ruby organically arrive at Kara’s apartment bearing gifts for the tree and offerings of food.

Kara has gone all out on decorating her apartment in the festive spirit. She relocates all the fresh flowers from Lena into her bedroom. Dots reed diffusers on window ledges for the smell of cinnamon, frankincense and nutmeg. Hangs giant wreaths laden with pine cones on both sides of her door. Hangs stockings from every furniture handle. Swags fairy lights from the ceiling and any room divides. Covers most flat surfaces with festive cloths. Lights enough candles to pose a fire risk. Wraps the TV in poinsettia garland which displays a digital log fire. An evergreen Christmas tree nearly touches the roof, decorated with lights, tinsel and baubles to the extent only bits of branches are visible. Mistletoe is strategically hung from velvet ribbons. The dining table is spread with a bigger turkey than Thanksgiving, surrounded by all the trimmings, including an alcohol-laced Danvers’ family eggnog. Other alcohol is available for the humans that are affected by it. Digital music is on request, which Winn takes charge of.

It is going to be a night to remember. It is the first for Alex without Maggie, when she had imagined a lifetime with her. It is the first for J’onn with his father. It is the first for M’yrnn on this planet, and he is delighted by the novelty of everything, including hot cocoa with marshmallows. It is the first for Sam and Ruby as the newest additions to the extended social family. It is even the first for Lena, as everyone has come to trust her enough. Out of the nine people here, six know about the DEO, five know about Supergirl’s National Service, four do not sleep around (Alex does not want to again, Ruby has sworn off men, and Green Martians cannot without a telepathic bond), three are aliens, two have alter ego heroes, and one is getting the gift of truth.

As host, Kara keeps circling the room picking up on bits of conversation before the big sit down meal. The men are happy to stand by the tree to talk about Star Wars and other films. Alex nabs Ruby to get mother training and talks to her about knowing Supergirl. It allows Sam to decompress from running the gauntlet of Christmas markets, and to catch up with Lena as a friend rather than a work colleague; she attributes her tiredness to her work/mother schedule. Lena reassures her that she is excellent at both. When Sam joins Ruby and Alex on the sofa, Kara stands next to Lena while she sits sipping neat scotch at the kitchen table. Before Kara can ask if Lena can stay a little longer than the others, Lena speaks.

“This is a great party. Thank you for inviting me into your friend’s circle. I never thought I’d have this many friends, or the two best friends that I have in you and Sam.” She dabs at her eyes, at the mascara that is starting to move as she holds back tears. “I’ll probably leave when Sam and Ruby do. But I’d like to ask a favour. A Christmas present, if you like. I’d like to see Supergirl tonight.”

Kara reflexively pushes her glasses closer to her face. It is not how she imagined the night going, but maybe it is better to hear the truth as Supergirl in a place that is good for Lena. “Sure. Where?”

Lena slides her an envelope that could easily be mistaken for a Christmas card, which she pockets to read later. In the meantime: Food. Everyone gathers at the dining table. Kara makes a toast, “To my friends and family. May we always love each other, regardless of the distance between us. Here is to next year being better than the last.”

Everyone raises their drink to her toast. Hours later, Kara and Alex are making leftover boxes for people to take home with them. Everyone gets a hug as they leave, and a wrapped present. Sam, Ruby and Lena are the first to go, followed by J’onn and M’yrnn. James and Winn practically need shoving out of the door and into a taxi before they lapse into a food coma. Alex lingers the longest, still pained to go back to an empty apartment on an important holiday.

“Alex, it will get better. I promise.” Kara hugs her the longest, and when she closes the door to her sister, she pulls the envelope out of her pocket. It is a Christmas card – a picture of a wreath on a door - with a penthouse suite address in a ridiculously expensive hotel. The final line reads: Balcony entrance.

Kara blows out the candles, suits up, takes a long look at all the flowers in her bedroom, and steels herself to tell the truth.

~~~

The balcony door is already open. Supergirl flies in and lands smoothly onto the wooden floor. She comes in a little further but cannot see Lena.

“Miss Luthor? You asked to see me?” she calls out. There is no immediate reply, so she takes stock of her surroundings. The place is huge. The bed is next to the balcony, which is equally huge. This level of the room is dimly lit by warm fairy lights on a white artificial tree, like the one in CatCo. There are two presents beneath the tree – one she gave Lena a few hours ago. A music player is playing Last Christmas by Wham.

“Supergirl,” Lena says. She appears from behind a screen wearing a blue satin dressing gown and steps up onto her level. Her hair is loose and cascades around her shoulders. Her face is free from makeup. She walks barefoot, barelegged towards her.

“I know your secret,” she states provocatively.

Kara deflates from her Supergirl stature in relief. She mentally thanks Rao for making this easier than she imagined. Lena knows, and Lena still wants to know her.

“Lena, I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner but -.”

Lena is still coming towards her, with a purposeful saunter in her stride. Supergirl has never backed away from anything in her life, but she takes a tiny step back from Lena. It is not enough, and Lena closes the remaining gap and kisses her on the lips. Supergirl tenses up. Lena senses it and backs off.

Tears are forming in Lena’s eyes. She starts to close herself off by pulling her dressing gown tighter over herself. “It’s because I’m a Luthor, isn’t it? A Super and Luthor may work together in public to save the day, but they can’t be anything more in private.”

“Oh! Oh, that secret,” Supergirl realises the nature of the Christmas present Lena was after. This identity reveal just got so much worse.

Lena folds her arms and looks pointedly at her. “There are other secrets?”

This is it. Whatever she has rehearsed goes over the balcony. She steels herself with a deep breath, and trusts her heart to do everything else. The outpour starts, “I won’t sleep with you. It’s not because you’re a Luthor. It’s because you deserve better than someone who has been lying to you since we first met. I’m Kara Danvers. And I am sorry, truly sorry, that I haven’t told you sooner. I had planned on telling you tonight, because we both need the truth to be known, to move forward. I usually keep my identity a secret to protect people, but you face regular threats on your life anyway and you thwart them with ease with your brilliant mind. When I got to know you and realised betrayal is your biggest fear, I felt trapped. I didn’t want to be the reason you’re in pain, because I care about you as a friend. And, and I don’t cope with change or loss very well, because of losing my home planet. When I lost Mon-El, it brought all that pain back. I couldn’t face the thought of losing your smile from my life so soon. I know I’ve been selfish, but I’m ready to lose you. Whatever you need, just tell me and I’ll get out of your life.”

Lena uncrosses her arms. “I need you to listen to me.”

“Can I sit down? I’m feeling very light headed.” Kara genuinely feels woozy from the length of that admission, and the emotional depths it came from. She is also shocked that Lena did not tell her to just fly out the way she came in. Instead, Lena gestures for her to sit on the bed. She practically collapses on it. Lena disappears into the relative darkness of her suite and returns with glasses of water. She shakily takes the offered one and gulps it down. When she is finished, Lena hooks her finger under Kara’s chin to get her to look up to her face.

“Supergirl. I know you’re Kara. I have since you caught me plummeting from my L Corp balcony. I didn’t know why you hadn’t told me yet, so I offered this night to move things forward. Either you’d tell me the truth, or I’d get a fantastic night in bed while we both kept the secret from each other. I’d take whatever you offered. This is the better Christmas gift, though. Thank you for telling me.”

A tear falls unbidden onto Lena’s hand. Lena brushes her thumb over her cheek to remove the track. She takes the empty glass and puts it on the bed stand, before returning to sit next to her on the bed. The dual revelation is just so much to take in. Everything Lena has done since that life-saving moment, she has played along to let her keep her identity secret. She has given her plenty of opportunities to reveal it, but never pushed her. She prefers honesty to sex. She is into women that way.

When Kara can speak again, she asks, “How did you find out about the service?”

“Guest contractor at L Corp used the computers to look at the forum. I’ll admit, reading those stories was more of an adjustment than knowing you’re Supergirl. You’re so chaste in both personas. I thought all Kryptonians were asexual, or just not into humans like that.”

Kara takes the compliment about her sexual prowess. Her mind catches up with more details, so she asks another question, “What was it about saving you from the balcony fall that revealed I was Supergirl?”

Lena lightly brushes her fingers over at Kara’s scar on her eyebrow. “This. I honestly thought I was going to die, and when you caught me, I clung on to you for dear life. I memorised every nanosecond of that encounter, including your scar. Your glasses don’t conceal it. Then, when you tried to fob off that you as Supergirl were having coffee with Kara Danvers when we were on the phone, it was too much of a coincidence. No-one is that lucky.”

“I’m feeling pretty lucky at the minute,” she laughs breathlessly.

“You deserve a full life on Earth, not isolation as a lonely God. It’s why I insisted you continued working at CatCo. I meant it when I said Kara Danvers is my hero. We could both live in isolation, because of our abilities and our wealth. But you keep connecting with people, and it’s inspiring. And I’ll keep sending you flowers to remind you of that human connection.”

“You deserve a full life, too. With friends, a found family, whatever else you want.”

“What do you want?” Lena’s question comes quickly.

“Right this minute?” Kara does not need time to think. “To get out of the suit. It’s very surreal having this conversation wearing this.”

Lena gets up off the bed and retrieves a wrapped present from under her tree. She offers it to Kara, indicating she should open it now. The holographic paper rustles as she unravels the velvet ribbon. She pulls out a pair of fine weave cotton pyjamas. The trousers are covered in the Supergirl crest. Most are in the standard colours of red and yellow over the blue background, but some have a rainbow gradient. On the shirt is a single chest pocket monogram in metallic gold.

“They’re beautiful,” Kara admires the craftsmanship. She looks up and says a heartfelt, “Thank you.” Kara stands and moves to behind the screen Lena had originally appeared from to get changed Super quick.

Lena carries on talking, “I had them made. I didn’t know if the colours you and Superman use are important.”

Kara reappears in the pyjamas, which fit her perfectly like they were tailored from her measurements. “The shape is what’s important.” She traces her finger over the symbol. “This is my Kryptonian family crest. I’m Kara Zor-El, and this says El mayarah. It means stronger together.”

“So you’ve always been Kara?” When Kara nods, Lena, ever the business woman, asks, “Are you okay with people making money off your family name?”

Kara shrugs, “If it brings people hope, then it serves its purpose.”

“Well, I’m hoping you’ll stay for room service and a movie. How does hot cocoa with marshmallows and A Muppets’ Christmas Carol sound?”

“Like the perfect end to a great night.” Kara beams a smile at her, to which Lena responds in kind.

“Great! I’ll order the drinks. The leftover food from your party is in the fridge if you’re hungry. The DVD is already in the player, if you want to get in bed.”

Kara falters for a second, before remembering the TV is attached to the wall facing the oversized bed. She gets under the opulent covers and fluffs up the pillows to lean her back against. She flips the TV and DVD remote, and by the time the film is ready to play, Lena is walking to the bed with impressive sized mugs of cocoa. Kara holds them while Lena settles under the covers. To the setting of light-heartedness of songs and puppets, the film progresses its story of a lonely man thinking of the ghosts of his past, the spirit of abundance in his present, and the hope of changing his ways for a better future. The film suits both of them so well.

The film ends. Both women are leaning heavily against each other, with Kara’s head on top of Lena’s. Lena gently extracts herself and asks if Kara is awake. Kara confirms that she is, though she is pleasantly tired from emotional relief and non-stop eating for six hours. Lena takes the mug from Kara’s lap and puts it with hers on the bedside table. She turns to face her, cups her face in her hands, looks and her lips, back up to her eyes, back at her lips again and gently kisses her. Kara does not resist, but she does not deepen it. Kara has tears in her eyes again; everything is happening so fast.

Lena pulls away before pressing their foreheads together. In the intimacy of their position, Lena whispers, “It’s here, if you want it. Your secrets are safe with me.”

For the first time in getting on for a year, Kara contemplates having romance in her life. It is a tiny wave of hope, but behind it is a tsunami of potential loss if she opens her heart fully. “You deserve more than one night,” Kara whispers. “I need time.”

“Take all the time you need.” Lena strokes both her thumbs over her cheeks. “You’re welcome to stay the night, until one of us gets called to work.”

Kara pulls back fully, to see the open truth in her expression. She means that as a friend. A friendly sleepover in a ridiculously oversized bed. It will be nice to wake up next to someone she loves. So she smiles softly at her best friend and starts shuffling her body and the pillows down. Lena follows suit, until they are both horizontal. In the ambience of fairy lights on the Christmas tree, they fall asleep together.

~~~

Chapter Text

“Kara, you have to let me go.”

Kara is vaguely aware of a voice. She probably left the Christmas music on in her apartment after everyone left the party last night. She is not in a hurry to get up. Her bed feels amazing.

“Kara, please. I can’t do this anymore.”

The voice gets louder and draws her into lucidity. It is not her bed. She has broken the rule of not staying after her National Service. This woman knows her real name. She has slipped up massively. She needs to call J’onn at the DEO and get out of here.

“Kara, I am only human. I know you like hugs but I need the bathroom more.”

Lena. It is Lena that is talking to her, and she is wrapped up as a little spoon in Kara’s embrace.

“When you said you needed time, I thought you meant longer than sunrise,” Lena jokes loudly.

It is the jolt Kara needs to physically retreat. Lena throws the bed covers onto Kara in her haste to run to the bathroom. Kara sits up and reflexively reaches for her glasses, but they are not here. Kara comes to all her senses of last night’s revelations, gifts and offerings. She welcomes the first light of a new day and waits for Lena to return. When she does, Kara is apologetic.

“There’s no need to apologise,” Lena reassures her. She looks positively serene now her bladder is empty. “You’re a human sized radiator, so I didn’t mind the balcony window being open all night. I knew you were strong, but I didn’t realise how much you control it when you’re conscious.”

“Did I hurt you?”

Lena rubs her hand over her arm and abdomen but does not wince. She shakes her head.

“Story of my life: Never letting go,” Kara says poignantly.

Lena offers a sympathetic smile, before offering food via room service. There are definitely perks to having billionaire friends, as Lena signs off Kara ordering everything sweet and meaty off the menu. It is so nice to be able to talk without covering up the truth, and to have a relaxed and social start to the day. Honesty is attractive quality.

“How do you eat that and stay healthy?” Lena asks curiously, while she picks at her own fruit salad and cereal mix.

“There is too much sunlight in plants for my cells to take. But I still need calories, because of the control to not break everything I touch. It feels like continuous yoga. So everything has to be processed, overcooked, and cooked again to get the balance. I heat vision everything to make sure.”

“You’re saying a raw vegan diet is bad for you?”

“I never intend to find out,” Kara states, biting into another pastry.

“Speaking of finding out, who else knows about your identity?”

“Your mother. Everyone at last night’s party, except Sam and Ruby. I don’t want them to know yet, because they are both civilians and probably anti-Luthor targets because of their connection to you.”

Lena nods her agreement, before adding, “Ruby is going to be elated when she realises one of her aunts is Supergirl.”

“Even the, uh, sleeping around?”

“You do it ethically. I imagine your exclusion list is more than lying to friends, and it’s about your partner’s pleasure over your own. I wish every sexual encounter had that focus, rather than what you could gain out of it. Normally you only get that if you pay for an escort.”

Kara considers Lena speaks more from personal experience than society in general. She thinks of Winn telling her about male fantasies reducing Supergirl to a conquered object. It is too easy to think people would want to oppress Lena in bed for being a Luthor.

“Do you want me to hold a CatCo meeting to set up a regular feature in the magazine about liberating female sexuality? All current publications pander to the male gaze in how women should behave and present themselves.”

“I’d love that.” Kara is awed at how quickly Lena has grasped the media empire and is steering it in a better direction.

“Alexa,” Lena calls out to her device, “play ‘The Morning After’ playlist.” Outside by George Michael starts playing. Lena smirks at Kara as she finishes her coffee. All Kara can do is blush as the lyrics of prolific gay sex in private and public unfold.

Breakfast finished, Kara retrieves her phone from her Supergirl suit. It is not good news. She mentally checks to never kiss people with romantic inklings ever again, because it is invariably followed by disaster. Adam kissed her, and Bizarro literally swept her off her feet in public for a fight. She kissed James, and immediately he was under her Uncle Non’s city-wide mind control. She got Mon-El to kiss her because she was horny, and a fifth dimensional imp turned up to wreak havoc in pursuit of marrying her. Now Lena’s kissed her twice, and there is a Kryptonian crest burned onto an L Corp land acquisition. She shows the picture to Lena.

“It’s Edge,” Lena states angrily. “He’s the only one with a vendetta against me and the gall to commit arson on my property.”

Kara is quick to note Lena’s anger is covering her fear. Edge is still a free man with no evidence to prove he has tried to kill Lena. But this is Kara’s nightmare. Any hope she had of another refugee from Krypton being as nice as her and Kal has already gone up in flames.

“It’s a Kryptonian crest I don’t recognise. It’s more likely to be another refugee from a warrior house who has learned about Lex and Lillian going after me and Superman. I’ve challenged Edge over his pursuit of you, and he wasn’t interested in teaming up with my kind. He wants to monopolise mundane business, not extra-terrestrial.”

It is not good news for Lena either way, so Kara pulls her into a hug. She purposely soothes her back with her hands, wishing they could both be free from this. “Hey,” Kara kisses Lena’s temple. “I will always protect you. Stronger together.”

Lena sighs heavily into Kara’s embrace. “El mayarah.”

Lena pulls back to brush the threatening tears from her eyes. “Let’s get to work.”

~~~

The day gets worse. The hologram archive at the DEO has no knowledge of the crest beyond a Pagan religion predating the Book of Rao. Kara visits Coville in prison, but he only talks of an end of days prophecy. Winn cannot track them from the DEO as they are not showing up like she and Superman do, which suggests they are hybrid descendants; second generation refugees. They have Kryptonian powers including flight, heat vision and Super strength. What is certain is this woman calling herself Reign has started a one-person crusade against criminality. She invades CatCo and broadcasts her justice spree, intending to kill all guilty people and those who allow them to get away with it.

Kara asks Lena if she can burn her crest on the top of the CatCo building, to draw Reign out. She calls Kal, telling him there is a rogue Kryptonian with a warped sense of justice, and she wants his help to take her down. Both he and Reign answer the calls. Kal brings the bad news that the Fortress of Solitude has no further information. Kara offers to join forces with Reign, as they all believe in justice. But Reign has judged them guilty for their apathy to crimes. To her, they are obstacles that delay her from a reckoning on this planet.

The idea that Reign is a diminished hybrid ends with the first punch. Reign is brutal in her attack. She has to be full Kryptonian, a religious warrior with the wrong upbringing in the same way Coville twisted the Book of Rao. As the fight continues across the city and through buildings hosting Christmas parties, crowds gather to watch. It is not safe for them. Superman is knocked unconscious first, and Kara has to keep them away from coming to his aid. Her compassion for humans is a strategic weakness, which Reign takes full advantage of. She is flown to a high rise roof and dropped from the multi-storey complex; a predator showing off her kill. When she hits the ground, the pavement dust settles on her and Kal’s open wounds. This is it. Her body is broken in a way it never has been before, but what breaks her heart is seeing Lena in the crowd hesitating to come forward. She is still keeping her secret. Kara thinks back to the time she asked Rao to spare her life until Christmas so she could tell Lena the truth, and now Rao is taking her to the stars. The thought takes Kara into the darkness.

~~~

Kara wakes up in her bed in her apartment, without a care in the world. It is definitely her bed this time. She is in the pyjamas Lena gave her a few nights ago. She goes to sniff the fresh flowers on her bedside table, only to discover they are not there. Then she notices the apartment has a weird glow to it that is not from Christmas lights.

She gets up and enters the living room, to find Kal talking to a blue-skinned humanoid with white hair and three white discs on his forehead. The stranger identifies himself as Brainy, an organic computer from the thirty first century. He explains Imra and Mon-El put her and Kal into healing tubes on their cruiser to mend their bodies from the fight with Reign, and the reality they are currently in is a dreamscape to cope with being in a coma. It is the place they feel most comfortable, which translates to the night she had all her loved ones here, and the intention to be honest with Lena. Also: Not dead.

When Kara asks why Kal would choose the same place as her, Brainy calculates with a 70.45% chance of success that Kara has the stronger mind in this linked consciousness. Kryptonians are telepathic with their own species with training, and the Legion cruiser technology is helping that ability in her catatonic state.

Kal concedes, “Stronger than me in every way.” He takes in her appearance. “Nice pyjamas.”

“Thanks,” Kara smooths her hands over the blue fabric adorned with their house crest. “Lena had them made for me as a Christmas present,” Kara admits, before realising she did not have to tell the truth. Maybe it is part of the telepathic link. At least the flowers from Lena are not here. Eliza was right - she is terrible at keeping secrets.

“Lena? As in Luthor?” When Kara nods, he continues, “Are the rainbow gradient crests her telling you something? Or does she know about the forum like every one of our mutual friends in National City?”

“Oh Rao, please tell me you haven’t been on the site.” Kara says reflexively. She is not keen for the guy she used to change the diapers for having explicit knowledge of her abundant sex life. Of all the topics to discuss after the city saw both their Supers being taken out. They have no idea what the plan is when both of them are defenceless, especially as Kal took all the kryptonite from the DEO. They are not the last of their world.

At this point, Brainy excuses himself from their presence and shimmers out of the reality.

“I’m mortally offended at the dishonour you have brought to our house,” Kal deadpans, before smiling. “I don’t need to read the details with my own eyes. I think you’re handling your circumstance admirably.”

They migrate to the couch. Kara picks up a cushion and protectively lays it over her lap. Now Kal has opened up the conversation, she is curious. “Have you ever fancied anyone?”

“No,” Kal is his usual direct self. “Lois was surprised and worried that I didn’t ask for the same attention that she desired when we became romantically serious. But the Danvers said I was perfectly healthy. Even now, Lois still worries about me not enjoying myself the same way she does, in the same way she worries about my wellbeing in other areas of my life.”

Kara throws her head back and huffs. “I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. Throwing Fort Rozz into space was a huge step up in embracing my powers. With it came this, this need to sexually connect with humans.” Well, human appearing people, as the US President turned out to be alien and golly did Kara fancy her. She definitely has a thing for powerful women.

“Maybe the age we arrived on Earth has influenced the strength,” Kal considers. “I arrived as an infant, so my yellow sun development was to a child’s brain and body. You arrived at the time of puberty, transitioning between a child and an adult. You were told to suppress your powers to appear as a normal human, and your developing sexuality was oppressed as a side effect. Embracing one to such an extent enhanced the other to the same magnitude.”

Kara quirks an eyebrow. “You’re saying I have a libido the size of launching a colony space prison beyond a planet’s orbit with my bare hands?”

“By all accounts, the people of this city are most grateful,” he smiles with amusement.

Kara decides Kal is enjoying this too much, so she makes it serious. “Winn’s algorithm of the forum has picked up that if Superman was doing what Supergirl is with public knowledge, he’d be thought of as a hero.”

“I think,” he begins, “that there is a truth to Reign’s words. We only respond to immediate threat, and stop at reporting it. We’ve fitted in to get by for most of our lives. But now we are symbols on this planet, and we could be doing more. More soundbites to change people’s minds as Supers. More articles about a fairer world for all as journalists. There is an injustice against women, and there has been for thousands of years. Maybe we were sent from a matriarchal society to Earth to change that.”

Seemingly in this shared consciousness, it is impossible to keep secrets. “Lena says she wants to start a regular feature in CatCo magazine to do just that.” And the truth just keeps coming out. “Um, in answer to your first question, Lena knows my identity, about the forum. She likes women. She likes me specifically. It all happened the night before our comas, so I’m still processing it all.”

Kal senses she needs a hug, so puts his arm up for her snuggle in. “Your heart rules your head outside of the big decisions, which is beautiful. You see the good in everyone. But I would hate for Lena to betray you the way Lex did with me.”

“I think Lena is a good Luthor, the way we are the only good Kryptonians to come to Earth. She has saved my life from alien guns, nano technology, and she has kept both my secrets for months.”

Both of them are contemplating her words, when Brainy reappears and gestures to the apartment door. “They are draining the tubes, if you are ready to wake up.”

“Kaoshuh,” Kal says.

“To be continued,” Kara confirms.

~~~

Upon waking, Kara learns she and Kal were in a coma for days, leaving the world without Super protection. Thankfully, Reign retreated from her killing spree of prisons when everyone banded together to perform Project Sundown: The top secret DEO contingency for rogue Kryptonians, featuring red sun grenades, sonic waves, and kryptonite darts to be injected into the jugular. As Superman had already removed all the DEO supplies of the green poison rock because of his aversion to it, they resorted to using what was on Coville’s probe as a one-shot opportunity.

Alex volunteered for the take down shot as revenge for her sister. She was in her anti-Kryptonian armoured suit, backed up by Imra with her telekinetic and ice sphere abilities, Mon-El with his Super strength and future Supergirl-inspired outfit fixed by Winn that enables cape tricks, Brainy with his cruiser control for aerial cover fire, and J’onn with his Green Martian phase shifting. Alex got a broken leg for her efforts, but Reign gloating over her “victory” got her a dart in the neck. Day temporarily saved. Reassuring to know people can save the day after she is gone. But the knowledge that an untraceable Kryptonian who can shrug off kryptonite like a cold is out there waiting to continue her cleansing of sin… it must be how Lena feels with Edge plotting to take her out of the world.

As soon as people leave Kara and Kal to recharge under the yellow sun lamps at the DEO, they whip out their phone to text loved ones. Kal texts Lois and Kara texts Lena: I’m alive. Been in a coma.

Lena’s reply is immediate: Thank goodness. That was some fight and fall. News cover is that you and Superman were missing, not dead. The world needs heroes. <3 Happy Boxing Day.

Kara embraces their newfound honesty: I need a hug.

Lena says everything she hoped to see: Let me know when you’re in your apartment and I’ll bring food, flowers, and hugs. I’ll make sure my bladder is empty this time. ;)

It is the longest three hours of her life, but once she gets grudging permission from J’onn to go, Winn drives her to her apartment (there is no way she is flying). He tells her that every person on the forum has made a donation of goods and services to an alien refugee charity in her absence. It is a relief to know they only fear one alien rather than a blanket aversion. It is also a relief that Winn is keen to get back to the DEO to spend time idolising Superman while he sleeps, as Lena is waiting outside her apartment door with a potted poinsettia plant, takeaway and an overnight bag. Once inside, Lena puts the items on the kitchen table. Kara is not sure who starts the hug, but she does not care. She is home.

“Hey,” Lena props up Kara’s weight while she is sub-strength. “Is it straight to bed with the potstickers?”

Kara nods into her shoulder and reluctantly lets go. Lena busies herself in the kitchen to make hot cocoa for after (the food will not last long), while Kara plods to her bedroom. The abundance of flowers are a welcome sight and all looking well despite a few days of neglect. She is partway changing into her Christmas present pyjamas when Lena calls, “Do you want me to switch the fairy lights on?” With her assent, Lena does so, and she opens the window in direct line with the bed. “This is east facing - I assume you’ll feel better at sunrise?”

Kara feels warmth in her heart. Lena is making her the priority, even though she feels the cold. “There are blankets on the sofa if you need the extra layers.”

Lena appears from behind the room dividing curtain with blankets slung over her shoulder, a plate of postickers in one hand and mugs of hot cocoa in the other. The Christmas backlighting only adds to her multitasking beauty. But a slight frown appears on her face as she looks at Kara. Suddenly Kara feels self-conscious, and the memory of bloodied wounds ghosts across her brow and jaw. Maybe she did leave the DEO too soon. “Sorry, is there more bruising coming out?”

“No! No, I’m still adjusting to you not wearing your glasses.”

Air cleared, Kara makes quick work of the potstickers and the cocoa – she has not eaten for days, and will need to restock the cupboards after tomorrow’s breakfast. Lena comes back from the bathroom in comfortable red velvet pyjamas, giving her a Santa Claus vibe. Red, gold and blue definitely suit Lena better than Mon-El. The material catches on everything, pulling the bedcovers and Kara towards her.

“Merry Christmas, Lena.” Kara snuggles into the folds, trapping her hands between her own knees. Lena wraps one arm around her while she holds her own cocoa mug in the other.

“And to you.”

Even though Kara brushed with death, this is still the best Christmas she has ever had, because Lena is still here. She let her go, and she came back stronger. Rao has given her a second chance, to know love in the light despite the uncertainty of encroaching darkness. It is a miracle, and she takes that thought into her dreams.

~~~

Chapter Text

A month later, the windows of National City are mostly shut. The climate has changed and it feels cold, even for Winter. Even the criminals are quiet as they fear Reign returning for them. Edge has monopolised the rebuilding contracts from the Christmas Super fight. Winn is struggling to add to the no-go addresses for mass incidents, as Supergirl crashed a lot of parties and the surveillance footage of work colleagues, friends and family in attendance is damaged.

Kara splits her surplus energy during her Supergirl hours three ways. First, fixing the public buildings. Second, learning future Kryptonian cape tricks from Mon-El. Third, going to Metropolis to teach the cape tricks to Kal, because brute strength will not save them from Reign in the next confrontation. She knows being in Metropolis is a coping technique, as Mon-El is slipping into monopolising her time like he did before, rather than prioritising fixing the cruiser to withstand outer space and time travel. She is also optimistic for the open windows further from home, and she is not surprised that people call for Superman from their beds. She is half tempted to fly in and tell them they have no chance, and to offer herself in case any Super will do.

In her downtime, Kara uses Kryptonian trance techniques to make telepathic bond with Kryptonians now she knows it is possible. She seldom connects with Kal, as he has a full human upbringing, and the cruiser technology gave him no choice but to connect. However, she continuously finds herself in the dark valley of Juru on Krypton. Presumably, this is where Reign feels safest, as well as two other women she cannot identify. Kara observes them from a distance, and they often retreat from the dead forest to a cave containing two adjacent springs. They only ever drink from the one on the right, even though it is cloudy and the other clear. Based on this knowledge of extra Kryptonians, Winn runs search programmes for unusual activity, such as meteor crashes and hospital admissions where people survive unscathed from events that should kill them. All these things take time.

CatCo is progressing. Lena calls a meeting to finalise the magazine’s Valentine’s Special for next month, with the cover emblazoned with Galentine’s Day: The Conscious Liberation of the Female State. Sisters really are doing it for themselves. Kara, James and the key team members are already at the table when Lena power walks in with a confident smile. She is taking this company in a bold direction, because Supergirl sleeps around.

Edge comes in unannounced. Kara Super catches the car keys destined for the back of Lena’s head. They both turn around to see a haggard man, accusing Lena of trying to kill him by rigging his car to drive itself and explode. He openly threatens her life in revenge, which is uncharacteristic of him as he normally covers his tracks, and is then escorted off premises by building security. Lena is visibly shaken, so Kara takes her to James’ office and shuts the glass doors for some sense of privacy. They slump on the sofa, and professionalism be damned, Kara pulls her into a hug.

“I just want this cycle of violence to end,” Lena sobs, still shaking.

Kara empathises, as she also feels mortal with the lingering Reign threat. People target Lena for being a Luthor, and they target Supergirl for being Kryptonian. Someone is trying to kill Edge, and Kara assures her that she will pull all her contacts to find out. In the meantime, Lena composes herself and returns to the CatCo meeting. She is better at switching public personas than Kara. But hours later, Kara’s contact at the NCPD report no tampering with Edge’s car. To Kara, that means it is technology beyond normal police experience. She knows there are business people like Lord Maxwell who deal with advanced and alien fusion technology, but who among them would target Edge is unknown.

She heads to Lena in James’ office to update her. She follows James and Eve in, the latter who is bringing her lunchtime coffee. Lena takes the coffee and the bad news onto the balcony, needing the space. By the smell of it, it is the last stock of a nutty Christmas syrup. Lena takes a big swig, as if the caffeine hit will hide her nerves. She collapses, and Kara catches her before she hits the ground. Kara takes off her glasses to scan her convulsing body, as white foam gags out of Lena’s mouth.

“It’s poison,” Kara says out loud. James understands and chases after Eve about the coffee trail. Kara scoops Lena up and flies her plain clothed to the DEO in record time. The medical crash team immediately respond to her landing and she lays Lena on the offered gurney. Alex appears from her work station, still regaining strength from her broken leg. Kara reiterates her coffee was poisoned by Edge and the effect was immediate. Alex lifts the oxygen mask to smell almonds – cyanide. Sodium thiosulfate is administered into the bloodstream but her circulation is too fast in distributing the poison. Kara is desperate to not feel helpless. Alex says they need to induce hypothermia, to cool her core body temperature to slow the poison down. It is something Kara can do. Alex shoos every one of her medical team back. Kara gently blows her freeze breath over Lena’s torso. Kara’s world stops, until Lena’s vitals stabilise. Kara exhales, bending over in relief as the DEO is filled with the monitor sound of a slow heartbeat. Lena is whisked away to the medical suite. Alex holds Kara back.

“You’ve done brilliantly. Now let them do their job. She’s in safe hands,” Alex reassures her, before noticing Kara is trembling. Alex guides her to a private room. “Tell me she was already unconscious when you flew her here.”

Of course, Alex thinks being a nervous wreck is about her identity, which Kara corrects. “She already knows. Has done for months. I found out after my Christmas party.”

Alex hobbles closer and pulls her into a hug in sisterly comfort. “That was a rough festive period for you.”

Kara laughs into her shoulder. “Like you wouldn’t believe. She came onto me as Supergirl, knowing about the National Service from the forum.”

“She likes women?” Alex enquires, to which Kara nods. “Likes the real you?” Another nod. “Do you like her back like that?” At the final nod, Alex hugs her tighter and they sway a little with the strength. “You certainly know how to pick them.”

This is the understatement of the millennium. Adam was her boss’ secret son, James is Clark’s best friend, Mon-El was a misogynist slave owner, and Lena is from a family with a blood feud.

“Sorry for pushing you towards Mon-El. If I’d known you like women and Lena back then, I would have given different advice.”

In the privacy of the room and the safety of Alex’s arms, Kara contemplates how different life would be. If Alex had known that Kara’s frustrations over Lena being framed really was about her and not Mon-El. Would her friends have trusted Lena sooner than the Daxamite invasion on Kara’s gut instinct? Would they joke that all Danvers are dykes? Would she have started the National Service sooner to manage her excess energy? Would Lena be ready to date so soon after moving to National City, when she had taken on so much to make up for her family? Would Kara have dropped more obvious hints about her identity?

Alex pulls back from the hug and pulls Kara from her reverie. “We should tell J’onn, and then you can sit with her. She will be unconscious for a few hours.”

Telling J’onn is a formality, as he had already scanned Lena’s mind at the Christmas party. Alex says she will update Winn. Kara receives a text message from James saying the guy that poisoned the coffee was shot in public by a bullet that disappeared in the body without trace. She texts back that Lena is stable, and knows her identity secret. James has nothing to say.

The second the medical team open the glass door, Kara shoots to Lena’s side and takes her hand into her own. She looks so helpless, covered in tubes, straps and a mask. Maybe the persistent threat on her life is taking a toll. Kara’s chest is tight to look at her. There has to be more to life than this. They are meant to make the world a better place. Side by side, a Super and a Luthor working together.

But maybe there is meant to be more to life than work. Rao knows how much stronger Kara has felt things for Lena since Christmas, like the identity secret was a veil around her heart just in case Lena removed her from her life. They survived that. She likes to think they can survive anything. If the thought of losing her already hurts this much, then she should embrace everything. Her heart is ready. She hopes Lena’s offer still stands.

In the meantime, Kara sings to Lena. She starts with the George Michael songs she knows, before moving to the songs from A Muppet’s Christmas Carol, and then works her way through progressively older film musicals, interspersed with *NSYNC numbers. Periodically, Lena’s finger taps in her palm and a smile twitches at her lips under the oxygen mask.

~~~

Despite everyone knowing Lena knows Kara is Supergirl, they still insist that she wakes up at CatCo rather than the facility of a secret government agency. Kara flies her plain clothed in a reverse of how she arrived at the DEO, and places her on a sofa in James’ office. She pours water in anticipation of her needing it, checks no-one is watching, and lifts Lena up so she can sit down, before resting Lena’s head on her lap. Lena sighs contentedly as she wakes up, and smiles drowsily when she sees Kara above her.

“I had the strangest dream, that we were flying and you were carrying me,” Lena feigns ignorance.

Kara’s happy to play along. “What? Like I’m Supergirl? I wish!”

Kara helps her to sit up. When Lena winces at her headache, she offers her the water. “Edge poisoned your coffee. The man who did it was shot with a bullet that disappeared without a trace. If we can find the company that made the bullet, we’ll have a lead.”

“I can look into that at L Corp.” Lena is already getting up, as if a medically induced hypothermic coma is a normal nap. She declines Kara’s offer to come with her.

Kara catches up with her reporter work until the evening, and notices that Edge is hosting a Gala for the Parks Department to plant more trees this evening. What is it about powerful business people that just throw off assassination attempts like indigestion? She receives a text message from Lena: Can I see you at your apartment now? Kara replies: Yes, be there in 5.

Lena is already waiting outside her door, and Kara lets them in. Lena seems hesitant to talk or even to sit down. “There’s something you should know,” she starts. “I tried to kill Edge. After you told me he had poisoned the children, I went to him with the intent to kill. He’s only still alive because he outsmarted me.”

Kara is blown back and turns away from her. This is bad. Bad for Lena as she tries so hard to get away from her family. Bad for any legal case against Edge as he will no doubt mention it. Bad for Kara as she cannot give her heart to a cold blooded killer. But, she said tried to, not that she has. She was hungover at the time, so it is a deeply buried urge. When Kara turns to face Lena, her heart softens, as Lena’s expression is one of turmoil; that Kara will judge her like every other Luthor. There is hope, which she offers, “But you didn’t.”

It is the release Lena needs to come and sit on the sofa, and Kara sits next to her.

“I saw my mother,” Lena starts, as way of explaining this revelation. “She manufactured the dissolving bullets as a trail for me to meet her off the radar. She is trying to kill Edge for trying to kill me.”

Kara soothes her hand over Lena’s back as a comfort to this family dynamic and the cycle of violence. Lena continues, “Seeing her, I had an epiphany about myself. I may be a killer-“. Kara goes to protest but Lena overrides her. “And I am smart. I used to confuse my emotional vulnerability with my cunning and tried to suppress both. But seeing Lillian made me realise I can separate them and use it to my advantage. I have a plan to both save Edge from my mother and get him to confess to trying to kill me, but I’m going to need your help.”

“Anything,” Kara quickly affirms, relieved that Lena is planning on saving everyone’s life.

Lillian’s kill plan is simple – a drone in the aerial display is rigged with lasers programmed to hit Edge’s pass badge. The save plan is relatively simple. They sneak past security as CatCo representatives to get to Edge’s Gala, Lena gets him to confess into a CatCo Dictaphone, Supergirl and the DEO (of course Lena knows about work, as her mother is the DEO’s most wanted) standby for Lillian to show up. But it turns out that all the drones are rigged to cause chaos, so Supergirl is isolated to fight Lillian in the apparently finished Lexosuit – a heat vision absorbing, punch proof, flying armour complete with kryptonite sword. But, Lex designed the suit thinking there was only one Super with a decorative cape. Supergirl has flying friends in the Legion, and two people here know Kryptonian cape tricks. She and Mon-El flick their capes at the suit and rip it apart, causing Lillian to fall. Mon-El catches her, just in case there is more kryptonite. Winn hacks the drones from the DEO mainframe to control them. Lillian rearrested. Edge arrested. Day saved.

Kara changes back into her reporter clothes to rejoin Lena, stepping among the chaotic rubble. “Are you okay?”

Lena’s smile is one of relief, finally free from Edge and her mother. “I feel better than I have done in months.”

“Is your mother okay?”

“Yes, thank you for asking.” Lena’s face turns from gratitude to thinly veiled jealousy. “How is Mon-El here?”

Kara scrunches her face. “Long story, involving time travel, L Corp developing a cure for Daxamite lead poisoning, arranged marriages on Saturn’s moons.”

Lena seems impressed that her company allows him to be here in the future, and at all these other possibilities.

Kara has her mind on one possibility. She is doing it now while adrenaline gives her courage. “You know at Christmas, I said I needed time?” She holds her breath while Lena catches up with her line of thought. “I’m ready, if you still want that. I mean, if you don’t, or if it’s too soon after this-“

Lena cuts off her backtracking with a hug, and whispers in her ear. “Now is perfect.”

In the central calm of the surrounding chaos, they both feel the other smile.

~~~

Chapter Text

A lot happens over the next few months. M’yrnn has the Martian equivalent of dementia, and does everything he can to keep his mind from deteriorating, including playing memory tasks at games’ night. Lena declines to join, as she has no idea how to play games with an element of chance or fun. She is a chess prodigy, and games to her are about strategy and victory; knowing every board element and deciphering out your opponent’s process in order to subvert it.

Sam reveals that she has been having blackouts while at work, as her phone is full of missed planes, taxis and meetings for L Corp. Alex tests her in government medical facilities, but whatever is causing them does not show. She is reassured by her friends that she and Ruby will be looked after, no matter what. In the darkest thoughts, Alex would adopt Ruby and become a mother much sooner than she imagined.

Lena steps away from CatCo and back to L Corp for two reasons. The first being a desire to be hands on, fresh with the knowledge that L Corp can cure lead poisoning in Daxamites, and expanding the pharmaceutical branch of her portfolio by examining Sam with private technology. The second reason is her and Kara starting to date in secret. For the first time, Kara has someone that respects her privacy, as her track record with romance is dire and she wants to explore it for herself without everyone commenting on it. For Lena, she also wants secrecy as she is a public figure and her relationships become news gossip. She cannot date someone who works for her, because she is a Luthor and people would assume she was taking advantage of CatCo’s best reporter. Kara always has time to fly lunch, dinner, and occasionally breakfast to Lena at L Corp. In return, she gets a kiss, hug and sofa cuddles at Lena’s office, and a massive bouquet of flowers on her CatCo desk.

One thing Kara had not considered in dating Lena is that they are both married to their work. But while Lena is mentally pouring herself into technological possibilities and wearing herself out, Kara is playing a waiting game with Kryptonian threats and has long spans without fights. She wants to be faithful to Lena so will not do National Service. Kara takes out her frustrations on Mon-El as a sparring partner at the DEO, because he can take it. Whenever Kara throws Mon-El across the room with her cape and Super speeds to catch him before he hits the wall or ground, he understandably asks if she wants to talk about it. Her life is never ending secrets. She will not betray Lena’s confidence, and she will not give Mon-El the satisfaction of knowing she sleeps around. Used to.

Winn updates Kara about the forum, saying the members are coupling up since the Galentine’s Day issue of CatCo magazine. Two narcissistic abuse survivors have found love with each other, crediting Supergirl for reminding them that healthy dynamics exist. Winn also praises the day he learned to read Kryptonian, as he has analysed a hidden truth within the Book of Rao in relation to the absorbed Pagan beliefs: Reign is a World Killer, a genetically enhanced Kryptonian with a human form. It is why they avoid detection, as they literally separate their human life from their Kryptonian life the way Kara figuratively does. Kara adds her knowledge of seeing three figures in Juru valley on Krypton, and Winn formulates that it is a real place in an alternative dimension rather than a dream.

Finding the human forms of the other two World Killers is relatively easy. Purity is hiding in Julia, who shows up on Winn’s search of medical miracles by impossibly surviving a car crash while saving her best friend’s life. Purity has sonic abilities and the gift of insight, but as she is new to using her powers, the human in her almost wins out. Pestilence is also easy to find, by the trail of death by illness. She has already embraced her powers, as Grace her human form thinks of herself as a God for being a surgeon and getting to decide who lives and who dies.

Reign shows up to presumably take both of them back to their equivalent of the Fortress of Solitude to strengthen their powers. The DEO does get to keep the Kryptonian crystals of Purity and Pestilence, in the hope of pinpointing the location. Though goodness knows what they are going to do once they find them, as just one World Killer escaped two Supers and a team of the Legion and the DEO.

Then the news cannot get any worse.

Kara flies in to Lena’s office with what amounts to a midnight snack. She knows something is up as Lena deflects the kiss onto her cheek. They sit down on the sofa. Lena takes a breath to compose herself, before revealing, “Sam is Reign.”

Kara reflexively pulls her into a hug. Lena trembles slightly, as she explains correlating the times of Sam’s blackouts to major Reign incidents. Lena pulls out of the hug to look at Kara with an expression that she is going to be judged for being a Luthor. “Sam asked for my help to cure her. She didn’t know she’s Reign, until I challenged her and played back the footage. Threatening Ruby is a trigger. Electricity is a trigger.”

Kara knows the priority. “Is Ruby safe?”

“Yes,” Lena sniffs. It is one good thing she is sure of. “She is somewhere no-one will ever find her with her nanny. The less people know, the safer she’ll be.”

Kara holds Lena’s hand and squeezes it gently. “How are you containing Reign?”

“When I inherited Lex’s estate, there was a Kryptonian holding cell in the basement. It is heat vision poof, freeze breath proof, and a force field has a scatter effect so any attempts at x-ray vision results in a shock when it is active. When Sam was herself, she agreed to me attaching a lead lined kryptonite disc to her heart, just in case Ruby is threatened before I can figure out a cure.”

Kara pulls her into another hug. Aside from Lena’s knack for having supportive Kryptonians for best friends, this is a nightmare. If Kara thought wanting to cut off a piece of her life was difficult, this is literal. As much as Kara wants tangible parts of Krypton in her life, Earth and Lena come first. “Thank you for telling me. I’m so sorry about Sam.”

“I thought you’d hate me,” Lena admits, referring to her inheritance and her methods.

Kara squeezes her arms across Lena’s shoulders. “This world is littered with the remnants of mine, whether it’s kryptonite, probes, crystals, pods or people. I trust you with all of it.”

Kara’s kind words almost make Lena cry, but she composes herself. “Because of the other World Killers, I figured out how to synthesise kryptonite. You know I’ll only ever use it as a last resort, for the greater good. I know it’s torture for your kind.”

Kara continues their open honesty about difficult topics. “Krypton orbited a red sun, and when I’m exposed to that I’m normal. The DEO uses it in combat situations as red sun grenades. I don’t think they have the budget or the desire to make a permanent lamp for it at the facility. I used to train in a low level green kryptonite room from what they had gathered, because it was free to them. That was before Superman took it all. It affects him more than me, and it doesn’t affect Reign for long.”

Lena is still stuck on the government using a budget as an excuse to torture someone, when technology exists for humane capture. “I’ll get a team to work on the red sun technology, if you or Winn can get me a grenade or the plans. It will help Sam, and hopefully give me more time to cure her. I just need to isolate the enzyme that causes her DNA to transform and make it inert.”

“We may not have time. The Book of Rao speaks of a trinity bringing a darkness to a new world, which sounds like a mass extinction. The other two World Killers will come for Sam once they know she is here, and take her back to their Fortress to consolidate their power.”

“You need a tracker?” Lena pulls back, keen to offer help. “I can ask Sam to swallow tracers every few hours, or insert them in her skin. Then if Reign is freed, you can follow her. That way, we can find out who is behind all this, and their ultimate goal.”

“What do you mean?”

“Reign, Purity, Pestilence – they are pieces on a chess board, each with a role for a bigger plan. We need to figure out who the player controlling the pieces is. They need to be stopped, otherwise they could make more World Killers. Just because only three are active doesn’t mean there aren’t more seeded humans on standby for another attempt. Why play such a long game? People seldom kill without gaining strategic value. What value does this planet have without humans on it?”

Lena is amazing, thinking about strategy. It makes more sense, if it is contained in an ancient collection of texts, chances are the events are something planned for and actively executed rather than waiting for an extremely rare cosmic trigger. It might be a hologram control crystal in their fortress relaying outdated information.

“You’re brilliant, Lena.” She blushes at the compliment, but there are more immediate concerns. “You’ve earned a nap. You’re no good to anyone being this tired.”

Lena offers some protest as Kara tries to pull her further down onto the couch. “Let me ask Sam if she’ll ingest the trackers, and then I’ll sleep.”

Kara side eyes her suspiciously, but Lena does come back within twenty minutes rather than continuing to work. She kicks off her shoes and lets Kara pull them horizontally onto the couch. Lena sighs as she settles into Kara’s frame. “Thank you.”

“There’s something else I’d like you to do for me,” Kara presses the topic before Lena turns into a duvet. “Please give me the kill switch for Reign. The world will never see you differently to Lex and your mother if you kill a Kryptonian. More than that, I won’t let you kill your best friend. Focus on curing Sam, and leave the other thing to me. You should know that Reign likes to toy with her prey. If she ever goads you into using it, it means she’s already immune.”

Lena manages to lift her head high enough to press a kiss onto Kara’s chest, perfectly aligned through the layers of clothes to the heart of her crest.

“There’s something I’d like you to do for me.” Lena fixes her gaze up to Kara’s face. “You can still do the National Service. You’re practically vibrating with fight or fuck energy. We have completely mismatched libidos, and you shouldn’t have to deny yourself something so strong.”

Kara goes to protest, but remembers that Mon-El was under the yellow sun lamps this morning after a sparring session.

Lena settles her head down on Kara’s chest again. “I have your friendship, protection, your honesty, and the promise of romance. I don’t need your fidelity. Besides, people really would hate me if they found out I’m the reason the service stopped.”

Kara kisses the top of Lena’s head and wraps her arms around her. She hopes Sam is as lucky to have Lena in her life as Kara is.

~~~

Two weeks is all Lena gets to cure Sam, before the other World Killers break Reign out of her L Corp containment and fly her away. Thankfully, the ingested tracers work long enough, and the DEO are lead straight to their Fortress. They barely have time to instigate a total eclipse which would kill all light-needing life on Earth, before Lena’s synthetic kryptonite is launched at them. Due to the partial eclipse and kyptonite, all Supergirl can do is inspire the inner humans of the World Killers to resist their Kryptonian nature and keep it banished in the Juru Valley alternate reality. Only Julia can hear her, but she takes out Pestilence, who simultaneously takes out Purity. Reign is knocked unconscious with kryptonite poisoning and bonded in poison chains by Alex, sporting her new Winn-made action suit (filled with magnets so she never loses her gun for long). The DEO get blood samples from all of them, and locates the master holographic crystal. But as soon as they touch it, the Fortress of Sanctuary disintegrates into dust. The crystals only work for living World Killers, as even the blood samples do nothing.

Back in National City, Reign is back in L Corp containment. Sam is trapped in the valley, so there is no compassion to appeal to. Kara cannot mentally reach Sam in the valley as she is human. Reign also seems intent on killing Ruby as she knows that will make Sam give up. But, however warped her morals, Reign does have a code: She only kills the guilty and those who let them get away with it. Ruby is a child, an innocent. Reign cannot go against her own nature, so Ruby gets to live in the new world order (Alex is keeping her company in the safe location).

It gives Lena more time to find the right heavy metal carrier to inject Sam’s DNA into Reign’s cells to bring her best friend back. Reign starts a psychological warfare on Lena, but Supergirl has taken up near-permanent residence in the lab to wear Reign down in her defence. Supergirl tells Reign that she has killed monarchs and banished an entire race of people from this planet with poison, so she will not hesitate to use the kill switch to save the world. It seems to silence her, which means she is not yet immune.

Supergirl only leaves Lena’s side when The Book of Rao turns up at CatCo. According to the woman translating it, Coville’s remaining followers now worship Reign as the true saviour of this world, and her Pagan Kryptonian Goddess of Life, Yuda Kal. But what concerns this woman is that she is translating a formula to create a weapon. Kara reads it both the English and Kryptonese, and it is not a weapon, but creating another World Killer using some materials not found on Earth. Of course, the cult has found a statue of Yuda Kal made from the Kryptonian stone.

Lena is hopeful that she can inverse the process to cure Sam using these materials. Kara puts a tracer on the Book of Rao and it leads them straight to the cult. One good thing happens – Supergirl appeals mid-transformation to the human in the cult member and convinces her that this is not how to give her life meaning after being saved by Supergirl. Two bad things happen – full Kryptonians cannot control their powers when they touch the rock and Supergirl causes some damage, and the rock is depleted of its transformative energy so Lena cannot use it to bring back Sam.

Rao does smile on Kara, though. Winn recorded the radiation signature during the cult meeting, and there is an asteroid with the same radiation signature five light years away. They just hope they can retrieve it in time before Reign breaks free. Kara takes Imra in J’onn’s ship, as the Legion cruiser is better at pinning Reign down and Imra has a better skill set that is not dependent on yellow sun energy. Imra’s delighted to have a personal mission with her hero Supergirl. Away from everyone else, she gushes about how Supergirl’s ethos gave her life purpose. The Legion swear an oath to protect lives above all else and appeal to the greater good in all. When faced with a difficult situation, Imra asks herself, “What would Supergirl do?”

Kara realises that this is Supergirl as presented through the lens of Mon-El, because human history is patchy when it is a thousand years old. He seemingly omitted the times he called her kindness ‘one of her least annoying qualities’. Kara did not like the distant worship Coville and his followers laid on her. Imra deserves to know the truth of her before she gets disillusioned and finds solace in the wrong ideas.

“I’m a refugee on an alien planet, after mine was lost. I try and make up for the damage it caused, even though it wasn’t my fault. I was raised in love and safety, and I’m always trying to make sure other people know what that feels like. For the past eighteen months, I’ve been bedding the humans of my city when they call for me. I justify it to myself that I am helping them to know love that way. In reality, I’m ridiculously horny because of using my powers on Earth and I offer mutual benefit on the promise of them keeping it secret. My whole life is one lie after another. People either hate me and want me gone, or they love the idea of me as a hero. They never see the real me.”

Imra does not seem phased by this information, and continues to look at the stars. “When Mon-El and I first married, he did mention that you were prolific and considerate in bed. He aspired to be at least one of those things if I wanted the marriage to be more than a front for the alliance between Daxamites and Titans.”

Kara cannot believe she is talking about her sex life, framed around her ex-boyfriend and Imra’s current spouse. “Back in my time, he was already the first. He slept around with everyone he liked the look of, and I called him a floozy. I thought romance and sex were the same thing, and monogamy was the only right option. He was easy for me to keep my energy in check. I took advantage of his physiology on Earth and I think he used me in return as an excuse not to improve as a person quicker because I needed the outlet. He’s a much better person now, and that must be down to your influence on him.”

Imra takes the compliment. “Thank you. As Legionnaires, we live openly about who we are. But we attract enemies and allies because of our beliefs and abilities, and our loved ones are at risk in the openness. Doing the right thing in a hostile world takes courage and sacrifice, regardless of truth or lies.” She turns to look at Kara rather than at the stars. “We all deserve love, however we find it. I hope the people of the city call for you after Reign is defeated. Mon-El is used to sparring practice, but even he needs more recovery time between sessions.”

~~~

The asteroid turns out to be Argo city, Kara’s childhood home on Krypton, hidden under a shield from the void of space and detection. Despite having thousands of questions, only two matter now. The first is to her mother: Why did you send me away? The answer is because survival on Earth was guaranteed, while her father’s plan to shield Argo from Krypton’s destruction was hoped. The second is to the Council: Can we have the black rock of Yuda Kal – harun-el? The answer is eventually yes. Argo survives by a thread because of this rock and people are already sick with the strain to support life. But, the Council agrees that Krypton will take responsibility for its mistakes on Earth, because the World Killers came from Krypton.

Kara and Imra return to Earth and L Corp with the harun-el. Reign’s strength has increased to shrug off containment. The DEO, Legion and Supergirl all distract Reign while Lena prepares the rock with Sam’s DNA. Mon-El delivers the syringe while everyone else holds her down. The body of Reign lifts from Sam and explodes. Afterwards, all Sam can say is, “Lena, do you have an aspirin?”

Sam saved. World saved.

Sam is taken to the DEO for medical observation and to tell Ruby the good news – her mom is better and she can come out of hiding. Amid the relief and celebrations, Lena pulls Supergirl to one side and shows her phone with the kill switch. It is at 100%. The device is nearly crushed as Kara pulls her into a hug at her honesty.

“You were right,” Lena whispers into the cape on her shoulder, “Reign did goad me to use it, to be like her and remove the sinners from the world. I knew she was immune but I had to confirm it.”

Kara pulls her even closer. “You did the right thing in my absence. I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner.” She goes to kiss Lena’s temple before remembering that is still a secret. Lena senses the change and pulls away to regain composure. But she looks exhausted now the focus of the mission is gone. Kara catches Alex’s eye and they share a secret sister nod that means Kara is taking Lena home.

Lena offers no protest at being flown to Kara’s apartment. Nor does she protest at Kara taking off her jacket, shoes and jewellery, but it does get her a quizzical eyebrow.

“I’d like to run you a bath.”

“On one condition,” Lena stipulates, “you’re in it with me.”

Kara’s eyebrows raise, as this was just to make Lena feel better with a soak, scrub and massage. But she can do those things mutually naked rather than clothed. She has not been naked in front of anyone for probably two years, and that thought does bother her. She has always been in her Supergirl suit for her service. Not that this is that. She should probably get out of her hero garb, but getting the bath, essential oils, candles and music set up is more important. Lena changes in private, and is wrapped up in a towel.

Before Kara can strip, Lena holds her arm and bites her lip. “Can I see you undress? You disappeared and did it Super quick at Christmas.” Lena gets bashful. “I’m curious about how it goes on and off.”

Kara starts to turn the same shade of red as her cape. She is torn between doing this like a strip tease just to see Lena laugh, or to shrug it off like a man in the gym locker. She opts for something different, a semi-instructional in case she ever needs help getting in or out of it. “Boots first,” she starts, hooking the sole of one boot into the ankle crease of the other and pushing to reveal the full length of the black leggings. Her exposed foot repeats the action on the other side. “Belt and kilt next,” she reaches back to undo the gold fastening of the leather to open the pleat which enables both to fall to the floor. It reveals that the blue shirt is a one piece with shorts rather than a leotard. “Then the tunic,” she reaches under the cape to undo the neck zip and rolls her shoulders forward to loosen the top, before unhooking her palm loops to free the sleeves, and pushing her tunic and leggings down to the floor. She bends over so her cape keeps her modesty, and turns away from Lena’s appreciative gaze. Kara looks like she is auditioning to be a Spartan gladiator.

“That was everything Winn designed,” she says with her back to Lena. “The cape is Kryptonian, and it’s heavy to humans. The strap goes around my shoulders and across the blades, if you want to pull it off my arms. Mind your feet if it falls.”

Kara feels Lena’s fingertips on her hands, and she traces them up her arms to her shoulders. Kara shudders under the attention, causing the cape to shimmer its folds. Lena wraps her hands around the narrowing part on her upper chest and pulls the cape towards her. Kara yields her shoulders backwards to make it easier, and keeps some tension in her arms to stop the cape from sliding quickly as Lena brings it over them. While their hands are bound by a cape, Lena steps forward and kisses the recess between her shoulder blades. Kara gasps and lets go of the cape. She hears Lena squeak under the cascade of fabric.

“Sorry! Are you okay?” Kara turns around, forgetting about her modesty. “Lena, you’re bleeding.” Kara points to a trail of blood coming down her thigh.

Lena looks down, calculates, and then reassures her, “I’m fine. It’s my period. I’ve missed a few days of the Pill and my cycle isn’t predictable at the minute.” Lena backs away, embarrassed by her body and the potential of getting blood everywhere.

Kara does not want her to worry, as she and her suit have been covered in greater volumes of menstrual blood, to her delight. Tonight was meant to be helping Lena recover from months of worry and work, and not a competition for who feels the most awkward about their physiology. “There are pads and tampons by the toilet. I’ll leave you to it.” She picks up her suit and covers her front with it, before turning to ask, “Do you still want the bath?”

Lena nods. “Same condition as before.”

Kara takes her suit to its usual spot in her bedroom. She picks up the flower cutting she took from Argo (which has grown significantly with yellow sun exposure), retrieves ice cream from the kitchen, and takes them to the bathroom. Lena is already in the water, and is in awe of both offerings. Kara gets in behind her, and makes a point of multitasking cleaning her skin of fight debris with enough strength to be a deep tissue massage. She talks of Argo and the harun-el supporting the floating city. Lena offers to try and synthesise more of the rock as a thank you. Kara washes Lena’s hair with a blend of geranium and rose shampoo, before pulling her back to rest against her. Lena hums her appreciation at being warm, relaxed, and full. She falls asleep soon after. Kara contemplates heat visioning the water to let her sleep for longer, but her skin is already wrinkling.

“Sorry if I wake you, but I’m going to put you to bed,” Kara whispers into her ear. She crosses her legs under and her arms over her body and floats them above the bath. She grabs a towel to keep Lena warm while the bulk of the water drips off them, then carries her dry form properly to her bed. She pulls the covers back, puts a red towel on the mattress, puts Lena on it, and covers her up in the duvet and more blankets. She wonders if it is too soon for Lena to leave some of her clothes here for more regular sleepovers, or if she would have to hide them due to everyone using her apartment as the go-to social hangout.

For now, Kara is more than happy to get into bed with the most beautiful woman on Earth and sleep alongside her.

~~~

Chapter Text

Lena’s talent for synthesising green kryptonite enables her to create more harun-el in less time. Kara spends most of those days at L Corp, bringing Lena regular meals and staying a safe distance away from the material due to the effect it has on her under a yellow sun. It is not just about spending time with her secret girlfriend, but an unsubtle attempt to get Lena to hand over the harun-el to the people of Argo in person. Lena hates flying at the best of times, unless she is wrapped up in Supergirl’s arms. So convincing her to get into a Martian spaceship, travel across the void of space for five light years, into an artificially maintained environment on a free floating asteroid, takes a lot. Kara tells her of the technology she can analyse from two different alien cultures. She tells her she will be a human ambassador to the last piece of Krypton, and when it is public knowledge it will truly embed the Luthor name as a force for good; a Luthor helping an alien colony. She tells her she never thought she would be able to share her home with her beyond the Fortress of Solitude. She tells her she has no powers there and no need to pretend to be anyone but herself.

Lena wants a lot of precautions in place to go, starting with communication crystals from Kara’s pod so they can contact the DEO regularly for updates about Sam (Alex has taken over medical supervision of Sam’s recovery). Next, a Legion ring so they can have some superpowers (and a glimpse into futuristic Saturnia culture) because disaster follows them around. Lena is so used to assassination attempts that she fears it even on a colony that has no knowledge of the Super-Luthor feud. Suddenly, Lena is the lone alien human in a place full of Kryptonians, with no powers beyond technology. The Legion ring is a much better option than a gun for diplomatic reasons. Winn even gives her a belt buckle shield which he has designed for the DEO in replacement of weapons.

It is a teary goodbye at the DEO. Kara’s speech is heartfelt. She toasts Winn and James, the friends she told first of her identity and who make her laugh. To Alex, she confirms the safety of family and the sense of home. To J’onn, the skills of leadership and work fulfilment. At the party, they reassure her that they can hold down the fort while she reconnects with her lost home. The Legion say they will stick around to help, and Kal stays behind for the same reason. In the privacy of training rooms, her friends rib her about the National Service and the fact she is leaving some people for the rest of them to date. Kaoshuh, she tells them: To be continued.

At CatCo, the cover story is Kara going on an assignment abroad, and Lena throws her a party at the office to publically send off her best friend. Lena needs no such fanfare for herself. She tells Sam she will be excellent at running L Corp in her absence, and James is handling the feminist rollout in CatCo magazine. Lena is more concerned about what to wear in an alien culture on an asteroid with no natural atmosphere. Kara tells her Kryptonians are naturally warm compared to humans so the clothing is loose fitting, and the colours are pastel to promote tranquillity. She also advises not to wear the dresses and tops which have the Supergirl belt shape, as it is part of the official robes for the House of El. They may be dating in secret on Earth, but such attire would give the impression Lena was a legal part of the noble House of El (which is not a topic for the first diplomatic visit or their first romantic getaway).

For her virgin space flight, Lena alternates between holding Kara’s hand for reassurance and studying the technology, while Kara alternates admiring Lena studying and gazing at the stars herself. When they land on Argo, robotic caretakers greet them. They recognise the daughter of the House of El, and Kara instructs them to accept a programme to learn human English. Lena may read Kryptonese but she has no fluency in speaking it because she has only had one native speaker to learn from. The caretakers accept the programme, and address Lena Kieran Luthor as kith of the House of El. Kara explains that Lena has a gift of harun-el from Earth for the people of Argo, and the flying robots escort them to the council chambers. Kara acts on Lena’s behalf rather than a translator due to the measured bureaucracy of Kryptonian society. There is a reason Krypton was lost in the long time it took to discuss there even being an environmental problem.

When the council finishes, Allura escorts Kara and Lena to her home. Kara does act as translator for the evening meal, but by the end of it Allura can converse with Lena with her language in her accent. Lena is humbled that she is emulating her. Kara reaches over the table to hold her hand in reassurance, and Allura is quick to notice the affection, as well as the fatigue of her guest.

“Do you wish to retire to bed with Kara?”

Kara and Lena exchange glances at the phrasing of the question. Lena manages to keep her composure, with Kara flushes with embarrassment. It is the second woman Kara has brought to Argo, even though she and Imra left after a few hours. Kara already knows the guest bed – her bed – is huge, as is Kryptonian custom. It is customary for Kryptonian’s Kara’s age to be spinsters, living a virgin life of community service. It is not customary for world ambassadors to share beds with their hosts. But Allura recognises the bond between the alien and her daughter.

Lena applies polite charm. “This is the first time I have left my planet and been exposed to such advanced technology and culture. I am grateful to your hospitality in welcoming me into your home. I would be grateful for Kara’s company tonight as she is familiar to me.”

Allura smiles knowingly, almost like Eliza back on Earth when she discussed being honest to Lena about her identity. That night, looking at Krypton’s red star, led to Lena being here now. Lena tries to help clear the table but Allura insists that her guest retires with her daughter. Kara takes their travel cases from the lounge and carries them upstairs.

“You certainly speak Kryptonian, if not Kryptonese,” Kara smiles at Lena’s tact.

“Are you breathing heavily?” Lena asks in an amused tone as they ascend the curving staircase.

“I told you I don’t have powers here, and you’ve packed for Armageddon,” Kara huffs. This case was nothing to lift back on Earth.

Kara puts the cases down in the privacy of her bedroom. Finally alone, Lena massages Kara’s back. She groans appreciatively, as her muscles release the unusual effort for menial tasks. As much as she wants to carry Lena the very short distance to the bed, she worries she would drop her. She is normal here; no Super strength, hearing, internal scanning, heat vision, freeze breath. She can let go physically and emotionally without causing harm. But, she is alert to Lena’s wellbeing. She remembers what being the sole alien on a new planet was like – overwhelming and isolating. She intends to make sure Lena feels safe to be herself, and to do all the things she wants to while they are here.

That starts with going to bed. Lena laughs to discover Kara has brought the Christmas pyjamas with her, and Kara is equally delighted to see the pastel red and blue fleece pyjamas Lena has had made for the getaway. They settle in the middle of the bed facing each other, and Kara wraps her up in her arms as tightly as she can, just because she can. Lena taps on her back to say that it is a little too much. She might not have powers but she is still strong. Kara relaxes and sighs. Her world is the size of this bed, Lena’s touch and breath, which is slowing down as sleep comes.

“Goodnight Kara Zor-El, daughter of the House of El,” Lena says in a sleepy and amused tone.

“Goodnight Lena Kieran Luthor, kith of the House of El.”

~~~

The next few days, Lena is in paradise. She wakes up with someone she loves, checks her communication crystal for Earth updates on Sam and L Corp, eats a raw vegan breakfast (the biome cannot support animals for produce) at a leisurely pace, wears a thermal base layer under the Kryptonian loose fitting clothes. Everyone she encounters speaks to her in English with her accent, as the community has learned it from the programme which perpetually updates itself when it can hear Lena. The scientists are keen for her help and insight into the harun-el, and praise her reading of Kryptonese and use of their technology. The transmat portal is of particular interest, as there is one on Earth and it would mean instant two way travel once there is sufficient power. She is keen to hear about a self-sustaining biome which respects the environment. Her gift of harun-el enables everyone to be free from atmospheric sickness. She graciously receives gifts in return as she has no other currency. Her favourite material payment is a technological adaptor so she can charge her phone and play her music without going back to the spaceship. No-one judges her for being a Luthor with terrible relatives.

Meanwhile, the dream Kara had of returning to Krypton is disappointing. It is everything she has ever wanted – to live openly as herself, to not have Superpowers, to know her mother is okay, to have the keepsakes of her childhood achievements, to see native Kryptonian plants, to have a normal appetite, to be affectionate in public with her lover without perpetual comment, to have a relatively normal libido. If anything, the lives Kara and Lena live have been reversed. Lena is the hero with her brilliant mind – Argo might be Kryptonian containment but everyone inside can now thrive rather than survive. Kara is who the people are averse to, as her mother allowed Krypton to be destroyed. No matter how much Allura has made up for it with fair governance, the judgement may not end until Rao takes her into his flame, because the loss of loved ones still haunts them. It is as if Kara coming back meant Allura has not suffered enough, even though she lost her husband.

Also, there is nothing for Kara to do, as she is a warrior in a peaceful community. Everything that looks remotely suspicious is immediately pounced upon, as on Earth that is the speed which often determines who lives and who gets injured. The perpetual worry drains her energy, and Kara has no idea how humans cope with mental health conditions as it is exhausting. There is nothing for her to investigate or report on as the community is small so everyone already knows. The novelty of juggling kryptonite and looking at tattoo designs while needles can pierce her skin has already worn off. Seemingly, being sent away from Krypton has made it impossible for her to come back.

On the fifth evening, Kara and Lena plan to eat out at a restaurant with Kara’s childhood friends. While Lena is preparing upstairs with styled hair and posh clothes, Allura speaks to her daughter.

“You have great love for Lena,” she states affectionately. “And she for you. I am happy for both of you.”

Kara behaves like a child with a crush, and starts fiddling with her fingers. “She accepted the truth of me before I had the courage to tell her of it. Our public lives on Earth are complicated. Kal and Lena’s brother have a blood feud, and Lena has been tarnished with that reputation. I do what I can as a hero and as a passing human to ensure people see the real her, while I hide the real me. She wants to make the world a better place, and I’m grateful she’s realising that potential here.”

“Do you see yourselves as life partners?”

The question seems sudden, but this visit like the previous one has been a rapid succession of catching up. Seemingly, it is being projected into the future at the same rate. She thinks about the technological possibilities that Argo can offer once the harun-el is stronger. She thinks of Alex and Maggie splitting over wanting children. She thinks of how she may hide her identity but not her physiology on Earth.

“I’d love to know her for the rest of her life,” Kara says honestly. “But being infamous and having a secret identity comes at a price. If she wanted a simpler life away from the Super and Luthor drama, I’d respect that. She may want kids, normal kids of her own rather than adopting a human or alien, or having hybrids with me. She deserves every happiness. She brings me such joy, more so than Alex. I just hope I bring her the same.”

Kara is on the verge of tears again, and her mother hugs her. The one good thing from Krypton is her mother’s hugs, and she can really hold onto her without hurting her. When Kara feels strong again, Allura steps back.

“I have council meetings until late tonight. Please enjoy your evening and do not wait up for me.”

Right on cue, Lena appears at the top of the stairs. Kara stares slack jawed at the beauty of Lena in her dress. The lilac fabric gathers at her waist and is fully embroidered in gold Celtic knotwork. Suddenly, Kara wants to stay in. But, other people should admire Lena for her brain and beauty, too. Kara did lure Lena to Argo with the promise of meeting everyone she used to know.

Thankfully, the evening out does turn out to be short. Her childhood best friend and her husband are called home as their babysitter needs help, and it is the release Kara needs to get away from topics that do not interest her, like Feng Shui. Everyone from Krypton has moved on, in a direction different to her. Not even the warmth of a red sun is here. She has three anchor points – Alex, Allura, and Lena. The first two are fixed, and the latter has a choice on where to be.

“I know I keep saying it, but thank you for convincing me to come,” Lena says as they arrive at Allura’s home. “I’ve got so much information to take back to Earth about self-sustaining energy sources and perpetual resource recycling. We could end fossil fuel dependence in years if I can build the technology. We could leave the environment to recover as we wouldn’t need to extract anything new.”

“You want to go back?” Kara tries to keep a neutral tone.

“I’ve already made the biggest difference here. Don’t get me wrong – I love the perpetual praise without the suspicion that there is an ulterior motive because I’m a Luthor. But Earth needs us, too. We may not have caused the problems that people blame our families for, but we’re in a strong position to more than make up for it. No matter the odds, people like you and me don’t give up.”

Kara’s smile is brilliant. “Lena Luthor, you are my hero.”

“I’m glad to be of service,” Lena hums, licking her lips.

The tone shifts at the words that echo Supergirl’s secret. Lena pulls out a strip of gold material from her cleavage and steps towards Kara. “Kara Zor-El, you are terrible at keeping secrets from me. But you are true to your word. Do you promise to wear the blindfold until you’re satisfied?”

Sweet Rao. Kara flushes with an equal blend of lust and residual shame that she is going to have sex in her parents’ house. Kara just about nods, and erratically points upwards. “Can we go to my bedroom? I don’t trust myself to walk, at all; let alone with that.”

Lena takes her hand and leads her upstairs. Her hands are clammy and shaky, and she cannot even manage to light a candle to set the mood. She cannot keep doing this to Lena – every time she propositions her, she freaks out.

Lena covers her hands with her own and leads them to sit on the bed. “Oh, Kara. We don’t have to. When you insisted I came to Argo, I thought it was a great opportunity for us to share this on equal terms.”

“I miss my powers,” Kara admits. “I feel I can’t help people, and the blindfold is taking away another sense.” She looks at Lena earnestly. “I want to give you a better first time than the people I have serviced, but I’m fumbling here.”

Lena cups Kara’s face in her hands. “I heard what you said to your mother earlier. If you’re being the long term strategist then I’m taking charge in the bedroom,” she jokes, and it helps Kara relax. “Currently I’m steering two corporations in new directions, so children are not on my radar,” she assures. “I love you for your heart, not your Super powers. I would probably pass out after eight consecutive orgasms.”

That does get Kara to laugh breathlessly. Lena kisses her forehead and presses her own against the moist spot.

“I’m getting more than one night, so even if you’re not up to it, I’ll finish what you start,” Lena offers.

This piques Kara’s interest. “As long as I can take the blindfold off for that.”

Lena pulls back to look at her. “Please take it off as soon as you stop enjoying it. You have nothing to prove to me.”

Kara pulls her into a hug and sighs. “I love you.”

Lena affirms the same as she nuzzles into her neck. Who would have thought – a Super and a Luthor in love? Kara keeps her eyes closed while Lena kisses the scar on her eyebrow, and when she puts the blindfold on. If over two hundred people in National City can get through multiple orgasms blindfolded, then Kara owes it to Lena to get to at least one. Only problem is, this is the longest she has been without powers since having them. She only feels this physically weak when people are handing her ass to her in a fight, when all Lena wants to do is eat it out. Kara manages to keep the blindfold on while Lena undresses her, lays her down further into the bed, and thoroughly licks and kisses everything down her abdomen. But as soon as Lena starts kissing her curls, the blindfold comes off.

“Please, come back up,” Kara gasps, trying to catch her breath. “I can’t let go if I’m worried about injuring your neck.”

Lena smiles and kisses the inside of her thigh, before getting up off the bed to take her dress and thermal vest off. She climbs back over Kara and settles her full weight onto her sheen covered form. Kara is quick to wrap her arms around her and sigh in the interlude, and her heart calms. Lena quells every sorry she says, and replies with enough encouragements about letting go to be a Frozen sequel. She will take the temporary marks of every accidental and involuntary grasp and muscle movement, for a lifetime memory of trusting her with this. Kara never wants to hurt Lena, but breaking her trust would be a greater pain.

So they try again. Lena braces her weight on one arm while the other dips between their thighs and keeps a slow pace. It is the first time anyone has touched her for her pleasure for two years. Kara keeps her thighs against Lena’s hips so she squeezes rather than hits them in response to her touch. Her hands splay across Lena’s back so she cannot vice her fingers around anything. She keeps her hips still and instead arches her back to move the waves of pleasure from her core as Lena slips a finger inside her. They keep eye contact between kisses and nuzzles, each looking for reassurance from the other that they are still okay. It is more than okay when the waves cascade over her, to the point that she cries with the overwhelming beauty of it.

When she trusts her motor functions again, Kara reaches for Lena’s hand and sucks her fingers into her mouth, to clean them and check for injury. Lena knows what she is doing and wiggles them a little. Satisfied, she kisses her palm, wrist, forearm, bicep, shoulder, neck, jaw and mouth. With a mutual contact point established, Kara peels herself off the bed to roll Lena onto her back. Kara’s spent tears and sweat matted hair fall onto her face, and Lena proves she is happy to take all of it by sliding her fingers across Kara’s cheeks and scalp. She wants Kara’s mouth elsewhere though, so encourages her downwards. She makes sure to kiss and caress every part of Lena to impress her gratitude into her skin, before settling between her thighs. Try as she might to make it last, Lena is already soaked and swollen from pleasing Kara. She swallows the outpouring of her quick climax, and fails to hide her cough. Lena pulls her up to check she is okay, and then kisses her.

“That was worth waiting for,” Lena smiles brilliantly. “Thank you.”

“Trust me,” Kara manages around her niggling cough, “it was my absolute pleasure.”

“Water. Pyjamas. Bed,” Lena instructs.

In hindsight, that was not the order of importance. Allura comes back to find her daughter in her nude, dishevelled state, drinking a glass of water while holding another. Tactfully, Allura says her daughter has grown into a strong young woman, and retires to the lounge. Back upstairs, Lena is skimming her phone for music tracks. She hits play on an *NSYNC cover of Don't Save It All For Christmas Day. Kara dives into her pyjamas and the bed to cover up her embarrassment. Lena cannot help laughing at the incident.

“If my mother caught us after sex, you’d have a kryptonite bullet in your ass before you could say, ‘Don’t hurt Lena’,” she muses.

“Do you think she knows about us?”

“She knew about Edge trying to kill me, and she’ll keep closer tabs on you for knowing you’re Supergirl. Feigning ignorance about your identity gave me the opportunity to assess if she wants to use me to rid the world of aliens or if she actually cares about my plans for a better world for all. Being with you forces her hand. She’ll have to accept me loving an alien and face Lex’s madness over it, or she’ll choose her perfect son and let her disappointing daughter side with her enemy. Once we know the truth, we’ll move on.”

Kara continues to be in awe of the woman next to her. She has chosen her, chosen Earth, even if it means her family hating her.

“Stronger together,” Kara offers, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“El mayarah,” Lena affirms, leaning into her.

~~~

Lena was right: The World Killers are chess pieces. The players turn out to be The Daughters of Juru, an oppressed religion on Krypton and subsequently Argo, intent to terraform a planet so they can live freely. The three leaders use J’onn’s spaceship to fly to Earth and continue the process. Kara hears about it through her communication crystal, and that Sam is dying from Reign being reborn. Thankfully, Lena can fix the transmat portal on Argo and connect it to the one in the DEO. There is enough energy from the new harun-el for a single trip, so Lena, Kara and Allura come to Earth.

The initial battle comes at a cost. Reign tunnels into the Earth’s core with a religious sword, intent on causing a mass extinction. M’yrnn takes the religious staff of his people and offers his life to save the planet his son calls home by phasing into the core and blocking Reign’s path. It is not before M’yrnn offers all his memories to J’onn as is Martian custom, so he lives on in spirit. Allura also fights for the planet her daughter calls home, quickly adapting to having yellow sun powers and flying to freeze breath tsumanis while Supergirl and Superman catch falling buildings as the Earth realigns itself.

Sam has a different battle to face. While she has Kryptonian DNA, her powers do not come from a yellow sun. Supergirl tells her about her telepathic meditation into Juru Valley to watch the World Killers drink from a fountain, and that she must go back into the alternate reality to drink that. Lena and Alex put her under, and within a few hours Sam comes back with the same powers that the House of El do. Ruby is delighted that her mom is a Superhero.

The final battle spans dimensions. Lena stays with Ruby, while everyone else goes to the reformed Fortress of Sanctuary. Reign gloats over the cauldron access to the Earth’s core, boasting that no prison can contain her as she can pile drive planets. Supergirl knows different, as Goddesses have power over life and death. The fountain that gives strength is next to the one that takes it away. Using the harun-el as a boost, Supergirl takes Sam, Reign and Allura to the other dimension on her telepathic mental strength. Sam kills the part of her life that causes her pain. No-one remaining wants to drink from the good fountain, as they all already have the power to reshape worlds.

Sam and world saved, again.

Everyone moves on. Allura takes the Daughters of Juru back to Argo to face a just trial, but not before thanking Alex for taking Kara into her home and thanking Lena for taking her into her heart. Winn is invited to the future to be a part of the Legion, as in a time paradox, his work on personal shields founds a civilisation. The future needs heroes to save AI’s like Brainy, which means Brainy has to stay here until the threat is gone. Brainy gets the unenviable task of monitoring Supergirl’s National Service in Winn’s place. Superman makes more soundbites about female empowerment. James comes out as Guardian, as he can help humans of colour to be their own hero more by being honest about his ethnicity. J’onn has an epiphany about living on this world among the people rather than isolating himself in work to protect them. Alex is promoted to Director of the DEO so she has the time (and more desk rather than field work) to be a mother via adoption. Sam gets the all clear about her DNA, and prioritises raising Ruby in Metropolis, away from the stress of L Corp and alien technology. Kara may have once wished to be normal the way Sam is, but she likes her life the way it is now, even with the secrets and lies. They were born on Krypton, but they are defined by Earth. It may be hard, but it is worthwhile.

Lena certainly makes Kara’s life worthwhile. She kits the DEO out with the technology from Lex’s Kryptonian containment unit, just in case there are more rogue elements from Argo. She also finishes the red sun lamps for the DEO training rooms should Kara want to learn weakened combat strategy without being poisoned by synthetic kryptonite. The government still need to pay for the running costs, because she is a business woman and pays taxes on two corporations. In Winn’s absence, Lena is keen to design and build Supergirl combat suits, with pants, to withstand kryptonite, and to stop the upskirt photos on social media when she is in flight.

When it is finally time for the Legion to return to the future, Mon-El makes a strange pass at Kara on the outside balcony, like he wants to go back to the lazy life he had with her before. Lena senses it, and comes up the stairs with a question in her eyes – are you okay? At Kara’s hesitation, she laces her fingers through Kara’s and positions her body so only Mon-El can see it. She is getting threatening jealousy vibes. A, if you come near my girlfriend I won’t make the lead antidote for Daxamites, kind of vibe.

Kara stands a little taller with Lena by her side, and she is inspired by her consideration in case Kara still wants wider secrecy, and turned on by her possessiveness. She hopes when the goodbyes are done that Lena will let her worship her in her bed tonight. How different her life would have been if she had more confidence sooner. The confidence to tell Lena about her identity. The confidence that the people of National City would enjoy her service. The confidence in Lena’s ability to bounce back from pain, because they are learning that they deserve better. Moving forward rather than clinging onto the past. And here is Mon-El, going far away into the future. She is actually relieved.

Back in her apartment, Lena has a material gift for Kara: A portable solar radiation arm cuff. She explains it is based on the self-sustaining energy and the light sources from Argo as they mimicked their original sun in their technology. It has one red and one yellow setting on gradual strength increases, so she can be normal or Super on Earth or Argo in case duty calls. While the radiation is intense, the exposure point is small, so it will take several minutes for her body to accumulate the radiation. Kara whips off her top to slide the cuff up to her bicep, and she feels like Wonder Woman. Between progressively less chaste kisses, Lena manages to say it is a prototype and needs calibrating.

”Rrip nahn i ehl,” Lena states. The cuff powers on red.

“You are my sunshine,” Kara repeats in English. The cuff switches to yellow, and Kara starts fangirling the technology and the mind that made it. Best of both worlds.

“It powers off automatically after twelve hours. There’s a kill switch, just in case you fall into the wrong hands. It’s the same in both languages.” Lena leans forward to whisper into her ear, “Shovuh jivehd.” Love triumphs.

Kara squeezes her tightly. “Thank you. I don’t suppose you’ve got a bracelet that stops you from being a workaholic?”

“I figure you’re insatiable appetite will divide my energy levels equally,” Lena bites her lip suggestively. “We don’t need to go to Argo for conjugal visits with this.”

Kara hums in her throat, fully intent on visiting her bed in the next few seconds, and picks Lena up to carry her there. “You deserve more than one night.”

“And you deserve a full life on Earth. Rrip nahn i ehl.”

~~~~~