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The Doctor looked around the red sandbanks of Mars with awe. He was certain that there were no sharp rocks behind him, so when he felt a sharp poke in his behind, he was surprised, but nevertheless obeyed the voice of someone in control of the small robot behind him. Once inside the base, he was introduced to the crew. He suddenly realized that the base was infamous, for tragic reasons. He also realized, that he had not yet put to use the opening in his spacesuit, which existed to allow the wearer to urinate .
“I should go. I should really, really ..go,” he announced to attempt to leave, not referring to only one form of going..
As if time itself taunted him, the Doctor was brought with the team-leader, Adelaide, to check out a drop in communications with the greenhouse. He didn’t mind observing history, albeit tragic..nor did he mind the presence of such famous figures. Right now, what he did mind, was the walking with a still a bit full , bladder! Even a bike would be more comfortable, or at least faster.
When they arrived they were met by a wounded Margaret Cain, and Andy who had turned into a water-possessed zombie of sorts.
‘ Of course, it had to be water..’ the Doctor thought to himself, slightly relieved at the opportunity to run, and at the same time easing the pressure in his bladder. The rain-like noise of Andy walking didn’t ease anything, however.
As soon as the Doctor and Adelaide were safe inside the airlock, Zombie Andy taunted them, and the Doctor’s bladder in particular, with a gush of water thrown at the door. He put his thighs and feet together tightly, due to Adelaide’s presence. Luckily she didn’t notice, though she did give him a brief raised eyebrow..
Adelaide asked why whatever infected the water, needed host bodies.
“I don’t know, never will. ´Cause I’ve got to go,” the Doctor remarked, raising both eyebrows, both for dramatic effect, and to remind himself how badly he had to “go”. As if they were telepathic, the now 2 zombies once again, started gushing water at the airlock door. The Doctor clenched his fists and crossed his legs.
“You alright?” Adelaide asked, noticing.
He nodded curtly. “It doesn’t matter that they’re locked out. Water’s clever.” the Doctor informed her.
Luckily, Roman Groom and his robot were equally clever and got both of them through yet another airlock door.
“Water’s patient Water just waits ! Water always wins,” he remarked cynically at his current problem. If not for the risk of angering the two walking water fountains outside, the Doctor would’ve growled with frustration. He settled for baring his teeth, with a panicked look on his face.
“You’re not just talking about the water inside those two, are you?” Adelaide asked, getting suspicious. The Doctor shook his head sideways, blushing.
“Just try to think of the red sand outside,” she advised him, understanding.
The Doctor took a deep breath, and concentrated part of his focus from his bladder to the sand, and the rest of his attention on getting them further away from the infected members of the Bowie mission, bouncing from side to side while waiting for Gadget the robot, to open the secure latch on the second door to the second tunnel. This time around, however, the Doctor enjoyed the length of the tunnel, allowing his to sprint the pressure of his bladder away.
“You could do with bikes in this place,” the Doctor noted, uncomfortably allowing Adelaide the time to keep up with him.
“What about when we aren’t bursting for the loo,” she pointed out, kindly teasing him.
“You haven’t got a loo in one of these tunnels, do you?” the Doctor asked, way past embarrassment.
“No, but there should be one back in the central dome.”
Once semi-safe inside the sickbay, the Doctor attempted to speak with Maggie, in Martian. Whatever had possessed her, was originally Martian.
Unfortunately, she also spoke Water-Gushing.
“What’s the matter with him?” Yuri whispered to Ed, while the Doctor resumed his little dance.
“I visited the outback as a kid. Needed hell of a lot of water. I’d say he needs the toilet,” Ed answered quietly. The Doctor interjected, in his defence, “Don’t speak ill of the dead, or the desperate , and I’ll have you know I’ve been both.” He began a fast pace around the room, to shut them up.
At the ice mining room, the Doctor was further tortured by slow dripping of naturally melting ice.
“Don’t think about making yellow ice,” Adelaide warned him sarcastically, walking over to the computer.
“Oi, my intentions aren’t that fun,” the Doctor protested.
“Yet, you were having so much fun, it never occurred to you to go in the desert like a normal astronaut,” Adelaide teasingly reminded him.
“Time Lord biology,” he muttered in response.
Ed Gold informed them that a useless, antique water filter was to blame for the infection.
“One tiny little filter and then the Flood,” Adelaide remarked in disbelief.
“There’s another flood about to come from me, I expect,” the Doctor added casually with pessimism.
“In Siberia, my uncle would always pee on the ice,” Yuri suggested.
“Convince her not me,” the Doctor replied, considering it.
“I’m not letting you turn the rest of us into Time Zombies,” Adelaide warned, turning off communications.
Back in the central dome, the Doctor had been given back his spacesuit, and was looking at the brave space-travellers getting ready to save each other, and evacuate.
“Speaking of evacuation, I believe your bladder is in need of some, before you go,” Roman reminded him through Gadget’s comm system, also smiling at the Doctor in person, recalibrating it for shutdown. The Doctor responded by looking and pointing, indicating he hadn’t looked around the base that much yet, and didn’t know where it was. Adelaide yelled the directions at him, while packing one of the food supply bags, and the Doctor promptly ran off down a corridor. He hurried in the, soon shutting down, toilet pod, unzipped and let go. He sighed in relief as a Flood of urine
gushed
out of him.
Water always wins..
he remarked in resignation to his bladder, with a smile. The Doctor zipped up, washed his hands, and proceeded to walk back to get his suit, considering his options for
saving
the brave heroes, on the way. The End.