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"There's something I've been wondering about recently", Aziraphale said, pausing in his reading from where he lay on the couch, his head resting on the armrest, small round spectacles perched on his nose. They were relaxing in the back of the bookstore after business hours.
"Hmm," murmured Crowley.
He was slouched back in his chair, fingers vaguely toying with the sunglasses folded in his hands, staring off into space with half closed, slitted eyes. It had been months since the end of the world, as well as the infamous switcheroo in which they had each fooled their sides of Heaven and Hell by inhabiting one another's bodies and avoided death by hell fire and holy water respectively.
"Bodily possession."
Crowley glanced up, blinking, his focus now fully on the angel.
"You never once mentioned that it would be such a, well, an experience...for lack of a better word."
Aziraphale swallowed heavily and looked over at Crowley.
"Why didn't you explain that to me, when I spoke of it before?"
Crowley froze, his heart beginning to beat faster, wondering how much to disclose. He cleared his throat.
"Well, I thought you might have known already", he lied, "and we were a little bit under pressure already, with the world ending and everything. I thought it might be too lengthy to get into at the moment. And it's not as though it was a terrible experience...was it?"
Crowley peered up, his eyes golden in the lamplight, the pupils in them beginning to expand just slightly. He thought back to when Aziraphale in spirit form had found him in that bar on the worst day of his existence, when he had thought that he had lost his Angel forever. The elation and disbelief which followed filling him up until the feelings were almost overwhelming.
"I'm not really really anywhere at the moment, been discorporated. Made a bit of a mess of things, I'm afraid. I just need to find a receptive body."
"We're not going there-are we?" Crowley had murmured to himself, his heart hammering.
"Pity I couldn't inhabit yours," Aziraphale had said, almost wistfully it seemed, and Crowley had looked up with hope stirring in his heart. Did he...?
"Bad combination though, Angel and a demon. Probably explode."
And then his heart had sunk, and Crowley had done his best to seem nonchalant, shrugging, an attempt at an expression of disgust on his face. He doesn't know. Keep it cool, Crowley, don't think about it, don't even think about it. But images had formed unbidden into his mind, His and Aziraphale's corporeal bodies melded to one, souls utterly intertwined, closer than close. Goosebumps had flowed along his arms as he thought of the sensations, of sharing those with the Angel.
He looked up. Aziraphale was staring at him intently. His cheeks flushed.
"...was it?" he couldn't help asking again, attempting to revert the atmosphere back to normal. Aziraphale shook his head slowly.
"I suppose not. Tingly sensations and such, nothing very intense. I was merely embarrassed, is all. I would have warned Madame Tracy beforehand had I known."
"They never told you about this in Heaven? In case you might come across a situation like this on Earth? A demon possessing a human, for example?"
"Well, no. They don't seem to have much understanding of that sort of thing at all up there. Or just of humans and Earth in general."
"Figures, naive fucking idiots they all are," Crowley murmured, smirking.
He never failed to find it an utter relief to be able to fully trash Heaven and all its inhabitants in the company of Aziraphale these days. He fully encouraged Aziraphale to do so as well, but the Angel was a bit more reluctant. Breaking free fully from an abusive relationship was difficult, true. But Crowley was always ready and waiting to support him. In any way.
He wished it to be in a more intimate way, but was nervous to rush it, no matter that it had been six millennia that he'd pining for his angel.
He looked up and met the angel's eyes again. His stomach swooped. Oh...fuck it.
"'Course, fact is is that it's a bit of a different situation when it's between two people who are attracted to one another, who love one another."
"Oh?" said Aziraphale, attempting to keep his voice calm and steady.
"Yeah. Well, with two souls in one body there's about a hundred times the amount of sensations and feelings that you normally would feel."
Aziraphale's eyes were very round now, holding onto Crowley's every word.
"I mean obviously it's different when it involves a demon possessing a human body. It's more just a physical thing then, although demons are good at...sensuality and overwhelming a human with...tempting...sexual thoughts."
Azirphale's breathing had picked up pace, his chest moving rapidly without him fully realizing it, so focused was he on Crowley's words.
"But there's instances, stories of humans who died and passed on, but missed their lovers so much that they would return in spirit form to inhabit their body with them, possessing it with them, together at the same time. They spoke of a deep, wonderful vibration within their body when they pleasured themselves, for instance. A feeling of golden lightness of energy filling them up entirely. When they climaxed, they described it as being one of the most exquisite orgasms of their life. In that case, it's a much more intense experience, a joining of souls as well as shared feelings. Everything is twice what it would be, as you are having the sensations of both what you're feeling and what they are feeling with and about you. It's a very intimate and loving...sexual experience."
"Oh," Aziraphale whispered, his cheeks flushing crimson,"My dear, I would never...I would never have talked about it so nonchalantly with you had I known."
"Why not?" Crowley asked, his eyes boring into Aziraphale's, who glanced away then. He was done with being subtle. "Do you not feel that way about me, then?"
"No, I-I do, it's just that it feels like we weren't in that kind of a place within our relationship just yet. And I'm sure it would have been rather...distracting when we were so caught up in trying to stop the world from ending."
"Yeah, fair enough." Crowley paused, biting his lower lip between his teeth, suddenly wondering if he'd gone too far with this, if he was scaring the angel away. He always seemed to be doing that, being too much.
"...Crowley?"
"Yes?" he asked, his head snapping up then.
"Would you, that is, I think I want-" he paused, licking his lips and breathing deeply. He looked up then and locked eyes with the demon.
"Will you...possess...me?"
Crowley froze, but not before his body gave an unusual spasm.
"You...what?"
"You heard me perfectly well." Aziraphale snapped his book shut, and placed it on the table next to him, sliding his glasses off and throwing them on top of the cover, meeting Crowley's eyes once more in an intense sort of way.
"I want you to possess me. I want you to fuck me."
Crowley sat there, breathing heavily, a shiver passing through him as he processed what he'd just heard. It was one thing to pine for and want this for years, it was another matter to finally be presented with it. He was in shock. But this was what he'd been waiting for. Permission. A confirmation that it was not just he who felt this way, he who loved Aziraphale on a level he had never known with anyone or anything else before. And he was desperate to show it.
The next thing he knew, he had bolted from his chair, sending it clattering to the floor in his haste.
His mouth was on Aziraphale's, hands clutching the sides of his face as he feverishly kissed him over and over, his legs straddling him on either side of his hips, body rocking against him. He could feel Aziraphale's arousal in response to his movements and felt his body becoming excited in turn. Aziraphale was kissing him back with a dazed, ecstatic kind of smile on his face, his hands clutching at his shoulders with a passionate grip.
Crowley paused then, gazing down at the Angel with reverence, the pupils of his eyes so dilated they were almost fully black.
"Make love to me," Aziraphale's voice was low, dark and sensual, commanding, and Crowley nodded in response. He found he could not speak, only nod, a feral kind of sound emitting from the back of his throat. He bent down to kiss and lick and taste of the sweet, flushed apples of his angel's cheeks.
Funny thing, normally he had always been the tempter, now he was the one being tempted and he was powerless to resist. Not only that but all he wanted was to utterly and completely obey his angel.
His hands wandered down to explore more, fingers gliding down the angel's neck, his chest, his sides. Aziraphale squirmed slightly under his touch, enjoying the sensations, and Crowley's heart utterly melted and ached at the sight.
"Are you ready?"
Aziraphale nodded eagerly in response.
"Ok"
Crowley snapped his fingers and a moment later their clothes had been miracled completely away and Aziraphale was gasping at the sudden feelings of nakedness, of their skin against skin contact.
"Oh", he breathed, as Crowley felt his way to the place between the Angel's legs and softly wrapped his hand around the length of him, lightly stroking him, feeling his erection fully coming into being. The angel arched his back in response, crying out a little, and Crowley smiled.
"You are so beautiful", he whispered into Aziraphale's ear, biting down gently on his earlobe and sending a shiver through his angel.
Aziraphale smiled shyly, biting his lip.
"No, you are." He bent up to kiss Crowley on the lips, moaning into it as Crowley continued to touch him in that intimate way. Crowley felt the moan in his throat, shuddering as he became completely hard in that moment. He bent his head down to kiss and lick the skin of Aziraphale's chest, moving down further to nuzzle his face in the soft, slight swell of the flesh of his belly.
The angel turned his head away then, a look of slight shame crossing his face.
"What, what is it, love?" What's wrong?" asked Crowley.
Aziraphale shook his head.
"It's silly, but," he paused, "Gabriel said that I had a gut."
Crowley paused, shocked, his nostrils flaring and his body filling with rage at the thought that that pompous, conceited, windbag had insulted his angel like this.
"Angel, you listen to me now. Don't let anything that those assholes have told you affect you."
"You don't mind it?"
"Mind it? No. Why, do you mind it?"
Aziraphale paused, thinking."Well...no. I've honestly never really thought about it, one way or the other, not until Gabriel mentioned it. It's just my body. It houses my spirit, and allows me to move about and enjoy things in this physical realm. I've always been rather fond of it but never gave much thought to whether it was seen as attractive."
"Angel, I don't mind your body, I love it. You are absolutely gorgeous. I adore your softness."
Crowley smiled, his eyes watching through half lowered lids as Aziraphale's face blushed crimson. He weaved his body sinuously closer, his inner snake emerging, raising himself up again to slowly kiss along the angel's neck. The pace of Aziraphale's breathing quickened.
"I mean...it's your spirit, your character, that I'm attracted to more than anything else..." his teeth nipped at the angel's collarbone, grazed down his chest, "but your body certainly comes with its perks." Crowley smiled again, teeth biting into his lower lip, "...that look of ecstasy on your face when you eat..." his hands wrapped around the angel's back to draw him closer, "...your cute little wiggles when you listen to music..." he bent his head down to kiss and gently bite him on his soft belly once more, growling "...your eyes widening and little sounds escaping when I touch you..." Aziraphale squirmed happily, a giggle erupting from his lips. Crowley paused, reveling in that sound. It was not one he'd heard much before, and he was suddenly determined now to make it happen as often as possible. "Yesss, just like that."
He leaned up and kissed the end of Aziraphale's nose.
"Forget about Gabriel. We can curse him if it makes you feel better. Repeat after me: Gabriel is a conceited, psychopathic twat who is such an idiot that he thought buying pornography was a good cover story for visiting you at your bookshop."
Aziraphale laughed outright then, shaking in Crowley's embrace, and Crowley felt himself slip even further in love with the angel. He hadn't thought it possible, he was already feeling so much almost to a breaking point.
"I forgot that I had told you about that," he giggled.
"Alright, my turn." He mimicked Gabriel's voice and strained smile, "Ooh, look at me, I'm the archangel fucking Gabriel, I wear cashmere velvet tracksuits, am too holy to enjoy things or to soil my perfect body with food, and am such an oblivious idiot that I didn't even figure out that the angel soldier I had posted on Earth had been consorting with his demon boyfriend for six millennia."
Crowley quaked with laughter, his face burying into Aziraphale's shoulder, his heart simultaneously thrilling at the word "boyfriend".
"You are brutal. I love you."
Aziraphale smiled his bright, sunbeam smile, an air of sass hinting around the edges of his lips.
"Thank you very much. I love you too." he replied, softly. His eyes darkened.
"And i want you, so much", he whispered and that was all that Crowley needed to hear then. He brought three fingers up to Aziraphale who obligingly opened his mouth to suck them in, his eyes still on Crowley's as he ran his tongue over them, causing the demon to shiver. Fingers moistened, Crowley withdrew them and ran them up and down his erection.
He kissed Aziraphale, running his tongue over his lips.
"Spread your legs for me, Angel," he said, his voice low and rough, and Aziraphale did, his breathing ragged. Crowley held onto the Angel’s hips for support, pushed against him a little, and then was moving inside him.
The reaction it elicited was instantaneous, the angel crying out at the sensations of it. Crowley ran his hand along Aziraphale once more. The slightest touch caused small jerks and gasps. Aziraphale's hands dug into Crowley's shoulders, drawing out a moan from the demon's throat.
"Just you wait, this is nothing," he gasped, eyes completely dark now.
"You call this...nothing?!" Aziraphale cried incredulously, panting heavily between words.
Crowley laughed teasingly.
"Yes, nothing. Compared to what will come next." As soon as he said this, he felt it begin to happen. This was always the way it happened. First, the beginnings of physical love, and then the space would begin to expand between the particles of his physical form until he began to slowly sink into Aziraphale, like sinking in to a hot bath.
"Oh, don't go yet," pleaded Aziraphale, reaching out to clutch his arm, still attached to being with Crowley in his physical form.
"Shh, don't worry, I'm still here, just becoming a part of you for a bit."
He kissed Aziraphale deeply, slipping his tongue in to twine with the Angel's, sinking in further all the while until their heads had totally morphed. Aziraphale's mouth was his now too, and vice versa, his eyes his eyes, skin his skin. They cried out at the moment of impact, their morphing of bodies and souls immediately causing an orgasm to wash through them.
How to describe it? The feeling of being there with a being's body, heart, and soul, and yet also feeling yours as well from both within yourself and from their perspective all at the same time. A building up of feelings and sensations and emotions and thoughts, all being sensed, received, sent. Being completely consumed by it, and it was overwhelming but it was also absolute ecstasy.
"Ooh, such dirty thoughts you've had about me. You've been a bad Angel," the demon said through a mouth that was both Aziraphale's and his all at the same time.
"I've had six millennia to come up with some good ones," teased Aziraphale and laughed, they both did. "Do you want to punish me?"
"Not just yet, I'm a little distracted right now," murmured Crowley, his hand reaching down to take them in hand, stroking up and down.
"Yes, oh yes, fuck me now," moaned Aziraphale.
"I was under...the impression...that I...already...was," panted Crowley, and then they both quaked with laughter and it felt wonderful, a wave of mirth washing over them.
The sensations and emotions were building, so much of it, and then they were past the point of no return, the ecstasy and euphoria crashing over them over and over and over until they lay there trembling and panting.
"Oh...My Dear. I wish...I could...kiss you. Physically, I mean." There was a pause, then a moment of trembling and spasming, as another orgasm washed over them both, while Crowley emerged and reintegrated back into his own separate body. He grinned breathlessly and saw the expression mirrored on his lover's face, leaning in to kiss him deeply. He ran his fingers through Aziraphale's soft curls, stroked his cheek.
"So, was that everything that you imagined it would be?" he asked.
"I think you know exactly how I felt about all of that," said Aziraphale, and they both laughed in their own separate bodies, but it was no less wonderful than when they did it as one.
"Okay, point taken," smiled Crowley. He rolled off the Angel then, and then wrapped his arms around him and faced them to the side so that he was spooning him.
Aziraphale smiled contentedly and wriggled back up against him as Crowley nuzzled his face into the back of his neck, breathing him in.
And they slept.
Later, Aziraphale awoke. They were still and naked and their body heat had dissipated somewhat. Raising himself up, he snapped his fingers, miracling a blanket to settle over them both, and then lowered his head down once more, feeling soothed by the rhythm of Crowley's breathing, by the steady beating of his heart.
Never had he ever expected this. To find a being who accepted him just as he was. He had never experienced that in Heaven, never with his own kind. He'd been so alone for much of his existence, and had been prepared to be so down on Earth as well, for however long he would be stationed there.
But then a serpent turned demon had appeared and actually chatted him up, and that had been that. Always finding one another throughout the millennia, wanting one another but never admitting it until now.
He couldn't imagine how he had deserved such a good, kind being actually wanting to be with him, even after all of the times he had denied their relationship, denied his love for him, rejected him. How could he stand him? Why did he?
Crowley woke to a shuddering, crying angel in his arms.
"Angel, what is it? Was it that bad? Can you not stand me?"
Aziraphale laughed, sitting up, his voice choked with tears.
"No, no, it was everything I ever wanted. You, were everything I ever wanted. I, just, I can't believe that you'd still want to be with me, after all these years of me being so cruel to you. Of constantly rejecting you in the name of Heaven."
A small sound of anguish escaped Crowley's throat at the thought that his angel could feel this way about himself. The mind games that the angels had played on him for thousands of years.
"Oh, Angel," he said, drawing Aziraphale back into his arms and rocking him back and forth. "I adore I you. There is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. I don't blame you for what they put you through, for how they undermined and brainwashed you. And despite all their cruelty it never turned you bitter. You are still so loving and kind, so caring, so empathetic. With just a little bit of a bastard in there too.”
Aziraphale let out a watery laugh.
“You are the best being that I know."
Aziraphale sighed, feeling comforted and protected in Crowley's arms, melting into him, his shaking stopped and his breathing returning to normal. He nuzzled his face into Crowley's chest, his head fitting perfectly into the niche between the demon's neck and collarbone.
"Mmm, you're so warm. Did I ever tell you of how cold and sterile Heaven is?"
"Only about a hundred times. But I saw for myself what it was like when they tried to execute me. Execute you. Made stepping into the hell fire and spewing out flames at Gabriel that much more enjoyable, I can tell you."
"You spewed out flames at Gabriel?" asked Aziraphale, stunned. Crowley nodded.
"You really are the best boyfriend."
Crowley smiled, a warm ache filling his chest. He learned in to kiss Aziraphale.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was still a wonder, after wanting one another for six thousand years, to finally be here, together at last.