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Theon stumbled out of the cab after throwing a twenty at the driver. He heard the driver say something but couldn’t quite string together the meaning behind the words, instead ignoring the man and closing the car door. He stretched, the world seemed to spin around him as he watched the cab drive off into the night. Once it was out of sight he headed towards the front door of the building and dug in his pocket for his keys. Upon finding they weren’t in their normal spot he checked his other pocket. Then the pocket on his jacket. He patted himself down like a handsy security guard but found nothing. He let out a loud groan.
“Fuckin’ A!” he swore and kicked at a large potted plant that was outside the door. He swore again when he felt a pain in his foot. Any good decision making skills Theon might have had went right out the window and off a cliff whenever he had a few drinks in him. He backed away from the door. He could have probably just called Robb and told him to let him in, but Robb was most likely asleep and it would be rude to disturb him.
Theon let out a deep breath and looked up. Their apartment was only on the fifth floor and the layout of the bricks and ledges didn’t look too difficult to maneuver. And Theon always had been good at climbing trees…
“Fuck it” he thought aloud. He’d been working out lately, he was probably strong enough. His eyes scanned the building. Five up, two across he thought. His eyes fell on the window. Dark grey curtains, drawn ever so slightly. It was dark and far away, but he could tell that was the one.
Theon cracked his knuckles and shook out his neck. My one and only experience with rock climbing don’t fail me now. He saw no possible problem with this plan. He would simply climb up the building, open the window and slide into bed with Robb, undetected. It was fool proof.
Theon grabbed at the ledge of one of the low set windows and began walking his legs up the wall spiderman style. Each window and about six inches of space between it and the face of the building. Theon used this to hold himself while he reached for the next window. He looked out into the street. He wasn’t that high up, even if he fell he would only end up with a broken ankle at worst.
If you don’t think about falling you won’t fall. He told himself and began to go higher. He repeated this three more times, only stumbling once as he made his ascendance. He turned his head to look back at the city lights. He could see neon in the distance but other than that it was all streetlamps, lining the narrow sidewalk in every direction. Theon almost wanted to climb higher to get a better view. It took a good minute of internal monologue before he decided that was a bad idea. He was already high up enough that he would be seriously hurt if he were to fall.
Robb would miss me if I fell from that height he though and I don’t want to make Robb sad. Theon frowned at the thought of Robb, sobbing beside him as he lay on the ground. He tried not to look down and pushed the idea from his mind to continue his climb.
Theon pulled himself onto the ledge of his window. He let out a sigh of relief and made sure to steady himself. He’d made it up without a hitch. He took in the view and felt the cool night air against his skin. The view only seemed to get more beautiful the higher he went. He tried to push the window open with his free hand. Fuck . it was locked.
With a deep sigh Theon knocked on the glass. All this trouble not to wake Robb for nothing.
With his third knock he heard the sound of a dog barking from inside the apartment. He peaked in between the cracks in the curtains. He could see the door of their bedroom. Behind he slightly ajar door he saw a light turn on. He saw the door push open to reveal Greywind, the source of the barking, trotting toward him. Following the dog was a very tired looking Robb, clad in only his boxers and one of Theon’s old t-shirts. Greywind lead him to the window sill, pawing at the glass. Robb nearly had a heart attack when he saw what was outside the window.
Theon waved at him casually as Robb unlocked the window and pushed it open.
“Hey honey” theon said.
Robb’s face was is shock “Theon!” he yelled “Get in here!” he pulled Theon inside by his shirt. He pulled him into a tight hug. “Theon don’t scare me like that!” he said.
“I’m sorry.” Theon said, rubbing Robb’s back soothingly. “I couldn’t find my keys and didn’t want to wake you by calling.”
Robb placed his face in his hands, unsure if he wanted so slap Theon across the face or snuggle into him and never let him go. “I am dating the world’s biggest idiot.” he said, more to himself than Theon.
“Yeah…” Theon admitted. “But at least I didn’t fall.” he said in defense of himself.
“Theon please don’t make me think about that.” Robb said, suddenly serious as a heart attack. He gripped onto the fabric of Theon’s shirt.
Theon stroked Robb’s hair. He knew he was thinking about Bran and his accident from years ago. “Don’t worry, I’m okay.” he reassured him.
“Yeah I know, just, just don’t scare me like that.” Robb said.
Greywind barked and there was a knock at the door. “This is the police open up!” came a commanding voice from the hallway.
Robb rushed over and opened the door before there was a chance for a second knock. “Is there a problem officer?” he asked.
“Um yes. There were reports of a man climbing up this building. Other residents are saying they saw him crawl through your window.” the officer.
“Yes I’m sorry about that sir.” Robb said, his eyes rolling back to Theon, who was standing a few feet behind him. “My boyfriend is drunk and has misplaced his keys and decided he would just climb up through the window.” the officer chuckled lightly. “I’m sorry sir, I’m dating an idiot.” Robb added.
The officer looked from Robb to Theon, then back to Robb. he smiled “You know what, It’s late. I’m going to let you boys off the hook.” he looked to Theon “Just don’t go on any more drunk climbs.” he told him.
Theon nodded, too drunk to be sheepish. “Wouldn’t dream of it officer.” he said. His eyes darted to Robb “This one’ll kill me if I do it again.”
The cop laughed “Alright, you boys have a good night now. And try to sober up.” he said.
“Thank you. You too officer.” Robb said.
“My wife isn’t going to believe this.” the policeman said before leaving.
Robb shut the door and sighed “Well that was an experience.”
Theon flopped onto the sofa. “I’ll say” he agreed.
Robb took a seat beside him and rubbed his temples. “You know Theon, when I first met you I had no idea that I would one da have to stand in front of a cop in my underwear at two in the morning and call you an idiot.” he said.
Theon laughed and wrapped his arm around Robb’s waist lightly. “And I never thought that I would watch you do that.” he said “and I assume I’ll never see it again, which is a shame because it was kinda hot.”
Robb rolled his eyes. “You’re drunk. You need to go to bed.” he said.
“Ugh but I don’t wanna get up.” Theon wined.
Robb looked at him in disbelief “You just scaled a building! I think you can make it to our bed.”
“I suppose that I could make the journey.” Theon said “Seems like a bit of a trek though.”