Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[joseph joestar added Mom, aquaman, pompstar, Giorno Giovanna, and 3 others to the #chat]

[aquaman changed joseph joestar’s name to dumbstar]

dumbstar: Im actually smart you know

wheelie: I’m finding that hard to believe

(dumbstar changed wheelie’s name to Sasstar)

Mom: Get off your phones, you're in class

dumbstar: yes, mother

---------------------

butterwhy: Y’all are disasters

pompstar:Tell me something I don’t know

Giorno Giovanna: You don’t know Italian.

pompstar: i know Italians

Giorno Giovanna: It’s not the same thing

pompstar: Yes it is.

---------------------

aquaman: @dumbstar what was this made for?

butterwhy: Why would you ask that when you know you won’t get a straight answer?

aquaman: I just want to know the answer. @dumbstar

dumbstar: Girl Jojo is right. You won’t get a straight answer.

Memory Who? I don’t know them: He wants you to tell him your gay thoughts.

dumbstar: WHAT??? NO!!!! i wanted to bond with my family!!!!!

Pompstar: That’s a lie

Giorno Giovanna: I can taste it.

Pompstar:

dumbstar:

butterwhy:

Mom:

Memory who? I don’t know them:

Sasstar:

aquaman: wtf

(dumbstar changed Giorno Giovanna”s name to Tasty Lie Detector)

butterwhy: no

(dumbstar changed Tasty Lie Detector’s name to Lie Detector)

butterwhy: better

-------------------------

(Sasstar changed their name to heelie)

dumbstar: What did Gyro teach you this time?

heelie: How to put heelies on wheelies

dumbstar: Why would he do that at four in the morning?

heelie: Why is Caesar taking you on a walk at four in the morning?

dumbstar: What do you mean?

heelie: we all know Joseph doesn’t write with capital letters

dumbstar: s h i t

Mom: Go to bed you babies

heelie: YoU’rE nOt My MoM, mOm

Mom: We’ll see about that.

------------------

butterwhy: why is there tension in the air?

Memory who? I don’t know them: Sexual tension

butterwhy: It’s between Jonathan and Johnny

Memory who? I don’t know them: Sibling tension then

butterwhy: they’re smiling

Memory who? I don’t know them: A war is awakening

-------------------

aquaman: Hello, humans

dumbstar: What the fuck, Kakyoin???

(aquaman added cherrie, time to burn, and rifle tower to #chat)

(aquaman changed #chat’s name to Jotaro’s Dolphin Fucking Thoughts)

aquaman: Until next time…..

dumbstar: and i thought Caesar was terrifying

heelie: Gyro was reading this over my shoulder and is rofl rn

Mom: Shouldn’t you all be in cLaSs??????

dumbstar: and i thought kakyoin was terrifying.

Chapter Text

aquaman: I should apologize for both Jotaro and Kakyoin’s actions.

dumbstar: avdol, youre in the chat

aquaman: Oh yeah.

Time to burn: I apologize on behalf of their actions.

heelie: No one was in charge of them

Time to burn: Actually, Polnareff, Jotaro, kakyoin, and I were playing Truth or Dare, and dared Kakyoin to take Jotaro’s phone, do one thing on it that Jotaro couldn’t undo.

Mom: At least we have another semi-serious person to keep these morons in check.

Lie Detector: As a kid, I looked up to you, Dio.

Mom: …..Thanks?

Lie Detector: But, as much as I loved you, I love Jonathan more. So give Jona his phone back or I’m adding Diego.

heelie: Ew Diego.

Mom: …..Why do I feel threatened by a twig?

(Lie Detector added Jurassic Park, but only Diego to Jotaro’s Dolphin Fucking thoughts)

Jurassic Park, but only Diego: What’s up?

heelie: Now this really is hell.

Jurassic Park, but only Diego: Good afternoon to you too, Johnny.

(heelie has left the chat)

(dumbstar added heelie to Jotaro’s Dolphin Fucking Thoughts)

Lie Detector: My dear brother, Dio, is refusing to give up a cake Jonathan made for me, along with Jona’s phone.If you help us, you can get some cake.

Jurassic Park, but only Diego: I was on my way when you first mentioned Jonathan’s cake. His cake is the best!

Lie Detector: He said thank you

Jurassic Park, but only Diego: He is very much welcome, if it gets me more cake

Lie Detector: Then i suggest you get over here before Dio eats it all.

(Jurassic Park, but only Diego is offline)

(heelie has changed Jurassic Park, but only Diego’s name to Hell Bringer)

rifle tower: I knew something cursed was happening.

(dumbstar has changed rifle tower’s name My 6th Sense is Cursed)

My 6th Sense is Cursed: this is but the most cursed.

---------------------

butterwhy: do u know what could make this even more cursed

(butterwhy added Hot Dad, WiiWagon, ZepplTea, and 18 others to Jotaro’s Dolphin Fucking Thoughts)

Mom: Welcome everyone!

pompstar: Sorry about the name!

(pompstar changed the chat name to Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots)

smallpomper: Nice!

aquaman: Who set the chat name to Jotaro’s Dolphin Fucking thoughts?

pompstar: @cheerie

cherrie: Wow, outed and i didn’t even do anything.

aquaman: When you had my phone you not only added yourselves to this, took pictures of that, but you changed the chat name?

cheerie: yes

aquaman: You angel

cheerie: ik

butterwhy: I thought that would turn into a lovers’ quarrel

Hot Dad: She used big girl words

butterwhy: stfu

My 6th Sense is Cursed: The weirdest things turn Jot on

heelie: So you’re saying everytime we speak, Jotaro wants to fuck us

My 6th Sense is Cursed: no, only Kakyoin.

Hot Dad: Poor Kakyoin.

WiiWagon: Wait, how many people are in a relationship with someone else in this chat?

Tangled: Me

Roastici: Me

BlueNO: Me

Moody Gay: me

Mom: Was

Hot Dad: Is

WiiWagon: Now, who likes someone in this chat?

Leafeon: I speak for everyone when I say this. ME

Memory Who? I don’t know them: Actually I’m dating someone here.

WiiWagon: Who?

Remember Me: ME

WiiWagon: I should’ve seen that coming

Hot Dad: Yeah, you should’ve

----------------------------

(heelie has created a #chat)

(heelie added dumbstar, aquaman, pompstar, and 4 others to #chat)

(heelie renamed #chat to Gay Panic)

heelie: I created this so that you all could share your unfortunate situations.

Moody Gay: Why am I here? Along with Buccirati?

heelie: You two seem to have a good relationship, so I thought you could give some of us advice, since you’ve probably been through it yourselves.

Moody Gay: I hate it when people make up good reasons.

(Lie Detector has changed their name to Dunkin’ Donuts)

Dunkin’ Donuts: I knew there was more reason behind you hating me.

Moody Gay: STFU

----------------

“Gay Panic”

dumbstar: I feel like a lovesick high school girl

heelie: You are a lovesick highschool boy, though you are a girl at heart.

dumbstar: Ik, but that’s not the point.

butterwhy: there was a point?

dumbstar: Yes. Caesar is too damn perfect!!!!! I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!! His blond locks, his beautiful green eyes, and his birthmarks! I just want to kiss him!

Moody Gay: i’ve had the feeeling before, except for Bruno instead of Caesar.

BlueNO: Aww, Abba. <3

Moody Gay: …… <3

butterwhy: That’s gay

Dunkin’ Donuts: We’re all gay

heelie: If You Aren’t, Get Out Of This Chat.

dumbstar: why isn’t Dio or Jonathan in the chat then?

heelie: No one wants to listen to Dio, and Jonathan’s problems are only about Dio.

Dunkin’ Donuts: Valid

----------------------------

“Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the Thots”;

(pompstar has changed smallpompoer’s name to Worth a Billion)

Worth a Billion: Im not giving you a discount at Tonio’s, Josuke.

pompstar: Then cook for me at my house or something!

Worth a Billion: i don’t have time sorry.

pompstar: :(

Worth a Billion: No

pompstar: :’(

Worth a Billion: NO

Roastichi: I just wanted to have a nice date with Yukako, but my phone keeps blowing up. Just because Josuke wants Okuyasu’s jhsdfih

Mom: What just happened?

Roastichi: Yukako saw me typing on my phone and thought I was texting another girl,but when she saw I was just talking to you guys she gave it back.

Worth a Billion: Yukako chose a strange time to take your phone.

(Roastichi is now offline)

pompstar: Alright then.

Hot Dad: If you’re just going to talk to each other, DM.

-------------------

Worth a Billion -> pompstar

Worth a Billion: Was Kochi really talking about my food?

pompstar: Y-yes! Your food is delicious, bro!

Worth a Billion: Thanks, dude!

pompstar: You’re very much welcome!

---------------------

“Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the Thots”

(Worth a Billion changed pompstar’s name to Worth the World)

butterwhy: Do i smell……. lowkey flirting?

Leafeon: It’s the good kush.

Worth a Billion: N-no. That’s not what it meant! Josuke just means the world to me!

Moody Gay: That’s what I said about someone, and now I’m dating them.

Deadly Smart: I can confirm that. Bucciarati is currently sitting on Abbacchio’s lap.

BlueNO: And it’s comfy

(Memory Who? I don’t know them has removed Worth the World from this chat.)

Remember Me: Tell us your thoughts on Josuke.

Worth a Billion: I can’t! He’ll read it when he gets back!

Raised by Bubbles: We can always delete the messages later.

Worth a Billion: Alright, so, um, Josuke could step on me, and I would still be fine.

dumbstar: Well no duh! He knows first aid!

Raised by Bubbles: Shut it, JoJo.

dumbstar: Make me!

(Raised by Bubbles is offline)

dumbstar: Oh no….

(dumbstar has gone offline)

Mom: Ignore those gays. Please continue.

Worth a Billion: Josuke’s so perfect! His pomp is always perfect, his clothes are always without wrinkles, and everytime he smiles, it’s like looking right into the sun.

Hot Dad: Been there

Mom: ???

Worth a Billion: His eyes are just…. breathtaking. They’re almost purple! I swear if he doesn’t return any of the girls’ feelings, I will spoil him rotten, with my food. Everytime I see him my heart goes a thousand miles per second!

Steel, with Balls: Not to be that guy, but you have been killed by love.

heelie: Take it from a doctor who’s been there.

Steel, with Balls: I still am ;)

Hot Pockets: More lowkey flirting?

Steel, with Balls: Yes

----------------------

“Gay Panic”

Worth the World: He’s too damn perfect!

dumbstar: I’m done running for my life, but does that sound vaguely familiar? @everyone

butterwhy: It sounds like what Okuyasu said….. Oops!

Worth the World: Oku said that about me?

Moody Gay: Sadly, yes.

Worth the World: Someone add me back to the chat!

heelie: Only if you DM him first.

Worth the World: Fine….

-----------------------------

Worth the World -> Worth a Billion

Worth the World: Bro, can I come over to your place?

Worth a Billion: Sorry, my dad’s sick

Worth the World: Dude, your dad is always sick when I’m over. If you’re worried about me getting sick, I have a friend of a family member who is pretty much a doctor. I could bring him along to check on your dad, if you’d like.

Worth a Billion: Fine….

-----------------------

Worth the World -> Steel, with Balls

Worth the World: Are you in Morioh?

Steel, with Balls: Yes, actually

Worth the World: Great. Can you come over, just you, with me to Oku’s house? He claims his dad is sick again.

Steel, with Balls: omw

Chapter Text

    Josuke puts his fists up to knock on Oku's door. He turns to his companion, Gyro, who give a slight nod. With more confidence, Josuke knocks on the door, expecting to need to wait a bit for Okuyasu to get to the door. Surprisingly, right after Josuke knocked, Okuyasu opened the door.

    "Thanks for coming.", Oku says with a forced smile. 'Is he sad or something?' Josuke wonders.

     Gyro steps forward and holds out his hand, seeing that Josuke was too lost in thought to move.

     "I'm Gyro Zeppeli, the doctor Josuke was talking about.", Okuyasu shakes Gyro's hand, after being flashed a smile.

     "Okuyasu Nijimura, although you probably know that."

     "I, in fact, didn't. Josuke always hides the full names of all the people he has interest in. Probably scared we'll look them up on Google. Such a weird idea!", Gyro flashes another grilled smile, by the glint in his eyes showed that he did, in fact, know the reason. Okuyasu wasn't focused on that though. He was focused on the fact that Gyro said Josuke was interested in him. Okuyasu's face deepened to a crimson red looking as he would to an angel.

     Suddenly Gyro cleared his throat, calling Oku out of his thoughts. "Can you show me where your father is?"

      "Yeah. Just follow me.", Okuyasu says walking into the house, heading toward the living room. "Just don't overreact." Josuke had told Gyro about Okuyasu's father's condition before they arrived, so Gyro was prepared for the worst.

      "You two can hang out while I check on your father. It shouldn't take too long, to my knowledge.", Gyro replied.

     "Oh, uh, okay. Come on, Josuke." Okuyasu stuttered motioning for his best friend to follow him. Josuke obediently trots up to Okuyasu's side, looking at his feet.

     "You okay, bro?" Oku asks, glancing over to his pompadoured friend with a concerned look on his face.

     "Uh, yeah, dude." Josuke replies. "Sorry just thinking. Nothing serious."

      "You sure? I don't want you to get sick or anything while you're here." Okuyasu said, failing to keep all the other emotions besides concern out of his voice.

      "Oh, nah. I'm fine. I swear, bro. Like I said, just thinking about things."
 
      "Like what?"

      "Nothin' much," Josuke attempts, and then sighs. "Actually, bro, I'm not sure. I think something's wrong with me."

       "Dude, nothing could /ever/ be wrong with you. If someone's making you think that about yourself, I will fight them." Oku said, completely serious.

       Josuke laughs softly. "Wow, Oku, thanks. But no, I'm just having some conflicting thoughts." he said quietly.

       Okuyasu's face softened, his voice turning gentle. "Bro, you can tell me your thoughts, I won't make fun of you."

        "Yeah, but what if you get mad at me?" The purple haired boy complains.

        Oku has the sudden urge to touch the side of Josuke's face in a comforting gesture, totally not became of his best friend. Instead he says, "I could never get mad at you, dude."

         Josuke's expression shifted from concerned to flushed. "Even if the thoughts are about you?" he mutters, trying not to keep fidgeting.

          The smaller pomped boy's face darkened a little bit, "Not unless you actually hate me."

          Josuke gasps incredulously, surprised that his best bro would ever say that because it's just downright impossible for anybody, let alone himself, to hate the younger Nijimura. "I could never hate you, dude. I'm fact, it's sort of the opposite."

          Okuyasu's mind starts going a thousand miles. 'Could Josuke like me too? No, that could never happen, Josuke's always surrounded by too many girls to like dudes.' Oku's voice full of hope and curiosity "What do you mean, bro?"

             "Well, you know. The opposite of hate?" Josuke says, attempting to get the other teen to say it for him.

             "Friendship?" Okuyasu supplies, highly confused by what Josuke's question meant.

              "No bro," Josuke sighs exaperatedly at his not quite accurate answer. "More than that."

          
"Love?" Okuyasu felt like he was pushing it, but he just wanted to know. 'Did Josuke love him too?'
           Josuke looked startled as he whipped his head up to stare at his possibly requited crush. "Uh yeah. Like, a lot bro. I'm not when I started feeling this way, but I know that you're the absolute best, and uh, yeah." The pompadoured teen confesses as not as graceful he would've liked, but still.

            Oku blinks. "Uh, dude, I, uh, feel the same. I do. When you said that I would mad at you, I wanted to kiss, or at least, touch your face. I want to protect you no matter what."

             When Okuyasu said that with the most heartwarming face Josuke's seen on him, his own heart decided to do something he wasn't quite familiar with, and he started tearing up.

              "Josuke, are you OK?" Okuyasu stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the crying boy.

               "Yeah, I'm just... really happy, you know? You're just the best at of everything I ask for. Love ya so much, bro!" Josuke manages to finish before he completely breaking down, tightening his hold on Okuyasu even more.

             That day, Okuyasu vowed to never let anything harm this currently trembling boy in his arms. "I love you too, bro!"

             As Josuke was about to lean in and kiss Okuyasu, they heard a loud BANG coming from some mysterious place in the house. Startled apart, the JosuYasu duo, now with a newer meaning, race upstairs presumably to where the noise came from.

               Opening the door to the room the noise came from, Josuke and Okuyasu peer in. The scene inside consists of Gyro on one side of the room, holding what looks like a half of a clipboard and his signature cowboy hat was on the light, which was hanging most of the way off the ceiling. Okuyasu's father was laying on the ground and moving his legs like he had just kicked something.

                 It was quite interesting as to how Gyro ended up in this situation, but unfortunately, neither of them ever got to know how that happened because Gyro got up and began spriting for the exit. Nobody ever said that the blonde was the bravest man ever, but they also hadn't wanted counted on him fleeing the second something scared him.

                  "Uh, does this mean you have to leave now?" Oku asks, not wanting Josuke to go just yet.

                    "Uh yeah. Sorry, dude! I swear I'll be back later!" Josuke tells already halfway out the door, Gyro's hat grasped in his hand.

                     "See ya later, Oku!" Josuke tells once more before running off to find his cousin's boyfriend.

                  -----------------------
    'Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots'

heelie: What happened at Okuyasu's house? Gyro is over, eating my Mozarrella Pizza Rolls, while listening to 'Old Town Road' on repeat.

Worth a Billion: Ah, well

(Worth a Billion added Worth the World to Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots)

Worth the World: We don't know the whole story, but when we came into the room

Worth a Billion: All we know is that my dad might've kicked him throwing Gyro's hat on the ceiling, broke the ceiling fan, and broke Gyro's doctor clipboard

butterwhy: Why weren't you with those two the whole time?

Worth the World: Gyro sent us away right after he and I arrived

dumbstar: so what happened? ;)

Raised by Bubbles: I feel like you're implying something weird.

aquaman: He is.

Worth a Billion: The only thing that happened

Worth the World: was that we

Worth a Billion: got

Worth the World: Together

My 6th Sense is Cursed: HA! Jolyne you owe me $100

butterwhy: @aquaman can I have $100?

aquaman: Fuck No.

My 6th Sense is Cursed: Guess you should get a job

butterwhy: Fuck You.

My 6th Sense is Cursed: Sorry I have my eyes on someone else

butterwhy: Good.

               --------------------------

Mom: Congratulations, Josuke and Okuyasu!

Worth the World: Thank you!

Chapter Text

"Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots"

heelie: wow. gyro just fucking left me

Worth the World: What happened

heelie: He thinks that Diego is better

Hot Pockets: he's wrong

Hell Bringer: I beg to differ

Steel, with Balls: same. Diego is fine

(Mom has kicked Hell Bringer and Steel with Balls from the chat)

Mom: Don't Fuck With Our Family's Feelings

Hot Dad: He's coming to kill you if you do

aquaman: And yet he hasn't killed you yet.

Hot Dad: You wanna go weakling?

aquaman: Yes, I embrace death.

cherrie: Take me with you!

Art Addict: All depressed humans, go to get killed by the hand of Dio.

heelie: I'm coming!

Roastchi: Dio: Jotaro's my first kill. Kakyoin's my second. Kakyoin: *slides over a $20 bill* Make it first.

My 6th Sense is Cursed: Accurate

                 ---------------------
              Steel, with Balls -> heelie

Steel, with Balls: honey, I didn't mean to choose to be on Diego's team. I just believe he's just better at running

(heelie has blocked this number)

                    --------------------
                       heelie -> Mom

heelie: I'm staying over at your house with the request of hugs, ice cream, no Dio, and Joseph to yell at his Zeppeli

Mom: Of course.

                     -------------------
                     Mom -> dumbstar

Mom: I need you to do something for me

dumbstar: What is it?

Mom: Yell at Caesar about his adopted cousin for Johnny

dumbstar: Ok

                      ------------------
                    Mom -> Hot Dad

Mom: I don't know where you are at this moment in time, but when you see this come to our house, grab what you'll need for 2 days, and don't come back until I give the okay. Got it?

                     ------------------
                       Mom -> heelie
 
Mom: Dio will come home around 12:00, and Joseph is currently yelling at Caesar. I have 2 tubs of mint chocolate chip ice cream, 2 packages of 3 boxes of tissues, all my fluffy blankets, and 10 vine compilations on my watch later list for you to watch. Along with that I have salsa and chips, all the menus to take out places that deliver, family albums, and romcom movies, or just a ton of movies that need to be watched.

heelie: Thanks Jona.

Mom: You don't need to thank me. You will need 1- 2 days of clothes too. I kicked Dio out for a while.

heelie: Ok

                      -----------------
                 
         "Jonathan, I want the reason for me to leave." Dio glares at said JoJo.
         "I don't need to. It's my house you know. If I say get out, /get out/." Jonathan taunts. Angered that the group mom just kicked him out, Dio stomps his feet all the way to his room, like an angry toddler.

                       -----------------

          "Do you have to mess with my hair?" Johnny asked from his current position on the ground.
           "Yes. It looks like you haven't brushed it sense the late time I saw you. Did you brush it at all between that time?" Jonathan supplies, running an extra brush he had, through the smaller Joestar's net of what he called "hair".
             "It's not that bad." Johnny tries to twists his head around to glare at Jona, a useless gesture because of his many knots. Jonathan tugs at Johnny's hair to get one out. "OW! Okay, fine it's bad. At least this is only hat hair."
             "I feel bad for the man who has to deal with your bedhead." The gentle JoJo said sarcastically.
             "That man would be me!"
             "Then I take my other comment back." Johnny throws himself away from the hair brush and lugged at Jonathan. Jonathan moves sideways and puts a hand out to keep Johnny from hurting himself on the glass case. "How about we eat before you eat the next person who comes through the door?"
              "Sounds good." The tiny Joestar said, shaking off the not real dust from his clothes.
               Through out the meal, neither party talked, focusing only on his own dinner. After the food was eaten, Jonathan cleaned the table and spoke from the kitchen, "How about you go pick a movie for us to watch well I clean these?" Reluctantly, Johnny got up and started searching for an interesting movie.

     After what felt like 6 hours, Johnny found a satisfactory movie, a cliché romance with cowboys and cowgirls. Halfway, through the smaller Joestar stared ranting about how the movie was too boring when the cowboy had to move away for an actual job in New York, and that it was too realistic for his liking.

       Having shut the TV off, the two Joestars sat quietly. Cautiously, Jonathan spoke up, "Johnny, would you like to tell me what happened between you and, uh, Gyro?" The littler Joestar shook his head. "Are you sure? It could help." Johnny hesitated before nodding.

      Taking a breath to collect himself, Johnny started. "Well, Gyro and I were invited over to Diego's for a "surprise". This "surprise" was a race, and we had to choose teams. I expected Gyro to pick my team like he promised the next time we did a race, but he immediately went over to Diego's team. Hot Pants was also there, so she chose my team, probably because it would be unfair if it was 3- 1. When the race was over, might I add, me and Hot Pants won, Gyro wasn't talking to me at all after it ended. I went up to talk to him, but ever single /fucking/ time I went up to him, he ran over to talk to Diego. Hot Pants had left at this point too, so no one was talking to me. I decided to go home, but my fucking ride to here from my house was of course that motherfucker Gyro. I had to wait for 2 /fucking/ hours for Gyro to stop talking to Brando, and even when we got home, he got on his phone and ignored me. I didn't even fucking do anything that shithead!", Out of breath from his previous rant, Johnny collected himself and looked over and Jonathan, who had been sitting silently the entire time. "Did I do something wrong?", Johnny's voice cracked, which made the older Joestar want to go over to where ever the cowboy was, and kill him with a glass vase.

     Moving toward the fragile 19 year old,
Jonathan hugged him and began plotting the longest and grossest death for Gyro.

      Still holding Johnny close, Jona whispered, "Would you like to here my plan for revenge?"  

Chapter Text

"That's the plan. Got it?" Jonathan asked quizzically to the 4 other people.
     "Yeah."
     "Mhm."
     "Sure."
     "No, I refuse to work with Jotaro." Dio said, slightly aware of the fuming Joestar next to him.
     "Dio, I don't care. Are you going along with the plan or not?" Jonathan deadpanned, which was weird for the typically vibrant Joestar.
     "It's fine."
     "Alright. Then stop complaining." The Brando frowned, not amused to be told what to do by the usually timid JoJo.
      After Jonathan and Johnny's talk, Jonathan had called up Dio, Jotaro, and Hot Pants to join in the plan, each person carefully chosen to play their specific parts perfectly. Said plan was to attract Gyro's attention, and tell him off, all while not being saved by Diego. Hot Pants's job was to distract Diego, an easy task for the pink-clothed female. Johnny was to distract Gyro by initiating a conversation, carefully not bringing up the topic of the race. Jonathan was to walk in with Dio and Jotaro, and beat Gyro up when he let his guard down long enough with Johnny.
        Making their way toward the location of Diego and Gyro, with the guidance of Hot Pants of course, the smallest people got out of the car, and entered Diego's house.
         "Diego, you fucking dinosaur where are you?!" The pink haired girl yelled into the dining room.
         "HP, is that you?" The summoned dino looked up from the game of Monopoly he was playing with Gyro.
        "Who else?" Hot Pants made her way toward Diego and sat down across from him, next to Gyro.
        "You're all alone? That's new." Diego remarked, leaning on the table with his face resting on his hands.
"You wish. No, I brought Johnny with me." As if on cue, the sound of metal pans being smashed together came from the doorway. Sitting in the doorway, Johnny held two frying pans with a smirk on his face.
        "Miss me?"
        "No, not really. It was nice having Gyro all to myself for once." Diego replied, proving this fact by patting mentioned cowboy's hat.
        "I'm not a pet you know. I can be shared." Gyro spoke up for the first time in since Johnny and Hot Pants arrived.
        "Yeah, well, Johnny likes a having his boyfriend all to himself."
         "I am but a simple man. I need my boyfriend, and I need him to not eat all my Pizza Rolls." Johnny said, rolling his way toward his beautiful hus- boyfriend.
          "Aw, babe." Gyro nudges Hot Pants away so he can wrap his arms around Johnny's waist. "I love you, but those Pizza Rolls are mine."
          "If you're going to fight, get a bar and do it right." Diego called from the kitchen as the scent of the heavenly food drifted into the dining room.
         "Honey, what are you making?" Hot Pants asked, kind of scared for her boyfriend's future.
         "Hm? Pizza Rolls. Why you wanna shared?" And just like that Gyro and Johnny ran, or wheeled in Johnny's case, their way to the kitchen. Immediately Gyro flew backward and hit the ground with an "oof".
        Standing in the doorway was Dio and Jotaro, an odd pair to be seen together for anyone who knows them. Honing on Dio, Gyro noticed that the other man was wearing a.... vampire cape. Yet another sight the Mozzarella man was only planning on seeing in Hell.
Jotaro couldn't give one less fuck about what Dio was wearing, instead focused on the Italian laying on the floor.  The menacing teen moved to punch the living being out of Gyro when Johnny rolled in between them, definitely crushing Gyro's feet under one of his wheelchair tires.
          "I think Gyro learned his lesson, yeah?" The wheelchair bound teen asked sarcastically. The only noise he got in response was a small squeak, which caused him to actually look at his boyfriend. Cursing under his breath, he moved to let Gyro's feet free, allowing the other man to worm his way to the couch, he claimed he only did it because he couldn't use his feet.
       Dio and Jotaro removed themselves from the doorway, promptly leaving the scene in front of them. Around the corner, Jonathan debated whether or not to stay, his mind made its own decision when Dio lightly tapped his shoulder and shifted his eyes towards the front door.
After the trio left, Diego and Hot Pants reentered the dining room, each holding 2 plates of Mozzarella Pizza Rolls. Choosing against his better conscious, Diego decided it would be better to start the Monopoly match over because they were rudely interrupted, and Hot Pants and Johnny would complain a lot.
         After hours of playing classic board games, watching a shit ton of movies, and almost having Johnny fall down the basement stairs, Gyro and Johnny left Diego's house feeling happier than both of them have either ever felt in Diego's presence.

------------------------
        'Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu and the thots'

(dumbstar changed Aquaman's name to Hoetaro)

Butterwhy: What does that have anything?

dumbstar: i heard Dio say it and i can't unhear it

Hoetaro: You won't be able to hear it again because you won't live long enough to.

dumbstar: i'd like to see you try!

Hoetaro: I can easily get you but can you run fast enough

dumbstar: I can run fast tyvm

Mom: At least you heard it from Dio and not your own boyfriend

Butterwhy: WHO WOULD DATE JOTARO????

Hot Dad: Literally everyone, except anyone related to him

Roastchi: Fact.

Mom: We also have more pressing matters to celebrate than Jotaro actually having a chance in a relationship. Like how Johnny and Gyro aren't fighting anymore.

Hot Pockets: they rarely fight for a long time so it's normal for them to be together so quick.

Hell Bringer: they're probably fuckin' as we speak

dumbstar: shh. Mom's here.

Mom: Honestly, I'm not even surprised at this point.

Leafeon: only here for barely 4 months and the Mom is a changed person

Butterwhy: that happens when we're in each other's presence for too long

Dunkin' Donuts: Mista, I know what you're going to say. Inhale and exhale.

Smelly Pistols: HOW COULD THIS EXIST FOR FOUR MONTHS?? SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED GIORNO! IT WON'T HAPPEN IF IT HADN'T BEEN THE FOURTH MONTH! THIS WAS DESTINED TO HAPPEN! AZNDDG FRHCYGF HV

BlueNO: Giorno, you have him under control?

Dunkin' Donuts: Yes, along with Narancia and Trish.

BlueNO: Good job, gang

Im 17 and a fucking airplane: mom, where do you want him

BlueNO: In the fridge

Moody Gay: Good choice. Giorno, you're joining him.

Dunkin' Donuts: Okay.

dumbstar: do i even want to ask?

Deadly Smart: No.

Chapter Text

Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots

Raised by Bubbles: @dumbstar Are you picking me up soon?

dumbstar: yeah give me like 2 seconds

Raised by Bubbles: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 6 HOURS

dumbstar: i need my beauty treatment Caesarino

Raised by Bubbles: NOT FOR 6 HOURS!

dumbstar: im not naturally this beautiful

Aquaman: you're hideous if you don't have at least eyeliner on

dumbstar: see!

Aquaman: but you take only 2 hours not 6

dumbstar: that's rude!

Mom: Why does Joseph need to pick you up, Caesar?

Raised by Bubbles: He wanted to go see Christmas lights with Suzie Q but she wasn't free so he said I should go with him

Butterwhy: And he left you for a very long time. Sound familiar, @Leafion?

Leafion: I FORGOT ONCE OK

Butterwhy: ONCE TOO MANY

Worth the World: am I the only one with a good relationship??

Worth a Million: bro, I have the best boyfriend. You could never beat him with your boyfriend

Worth the World: I highly doubt that!

Hot Dad: Can y'all scream about your love for one another somewhere else.

Aquaman: y'all

Butterwhy: y'all

Worth the World: y'all

Worth a Million: y'all

WiiWagon: y'all

dumbstar: y'all

Raised by Bubbles: y'all

ZepplTea: y'all

Cherrie: y'all

My 6th Sense Is Cursed: y'all

Time To Burn: y'all

Roastichi: y'all

Tangled: y'all

BlueNO: y'all

Moody Gay: y'all

Deadly Smart: y'all

Shot Straight, I think: y'all

Tiny, Mighty: y'all

Dunkin' Donuts: y'all

FishNEAT: y'all

Wheelie: y'all

Steel, with Balls: y'all

Hell Bringer: y'all

Hot Pockets: y'all

Mom: y'all

Hot Dad: I hate you all.

Aquaman: I think you mean "y'all"

dumbstar: I think you mean you hate everyone except Jonathan, otherwise you would starve

Dunkin' Donuts: Please don't say except Jona, if you die quicker, the better

Aquaman: Same

Cherrie: and here is an angry teenager being nice for someone else to die.

My 6th Sense Is Cursed: his natural habitat

dumbstar: i made it to Caesar's wish me luck

Butterwhy: hope you don't die.

Aquaman: If he does, my life is complete

ZepplTea: And Caesar's would be ruined so stfu
------------------------------

Raised by Bubbles: He didn't die,  but an 8 year old roasted him.

Aquaman: my favorite past time. I love that kid.

Butterwhy: wait. Hermes, didn't we lose FF and Emporio?

Leafion: yeah, and we found Foo in a lake almost dead, and Emporio looking strangely proud of himself.

Butterwhy: @Raised by Bubbles, did the kid have on a red and white baseball bat on?

Raised by Bubbles: yeah

Butterwhy: OMG EMPORIO ROASTED JOSEPH!! HA!

Aquaman: Can I meet this friend of yours and thank him, give him Crystal or something

Butterwhy: I know you don't want to part with Crystal so just give him a 20

Aquaman: OK

dumbstar: first, who is crystal? second, WHY DOES HE GET A REWARD???

Aquaman: Crystal is mine, a 20 is too little for the reward he should have.

dumbstar: HE SHOULDN'T EVEN GET A REWARD!

Raised by Bubbles: I would also like to give this child my thanks. It's not every day you see Joseph get lectured by someone and lose his cool, when he has one.

dumbstar: i hate you all

Hot Dad: It's y'all.

Chapter Text

Gappy, Joshu, Yasuho, and the thots

WiiWagon: Did anyone come over for New Years at Jonathan's?

Dunkin Donuts: I live there

Hot Dad: I live there

Shot Straight, I think: Giorno got it quicker.

Dunkin Donuts: Thank you, Guido.

Short, Mighty: yeah, Guido~~

Shot Straight, I think: Shut up, you tiny orange peel.

Short, Mighty: panna he's bullying me again.

Deadly Smart: That's your fault.

Short, Mighty: so mean!!

BlueNO: We're at a meeting, turn your phones off.

Short, Mighty: Fine, Mom

dumbstar: don't take Jonathan's title!

Mom: I think Bucciarati is their group mom.

Aquaman: Makes sense.

-------------------------------
                           "Gay Panic"

heelie: are @Dunkin Donuts and Mista dating?

Moody Gay: they aren't but I wish they were.

Dunkin Donuts: We haven't done anything but I've planned on confessing on multiple occasions.

dumbstar: why haven't you?

Dunkin Donuts: I don't know, why don't you confess to Caesar?

dumbstar: Touché

Butterwhy: what about Jonathan and Dio? Aren't they a thing?

Dunkin Donuts: It's complicated. Dio likes to have affairs, which greatly hurt Jona, but Jonathan doesn't know(read: want) to break up with Dio.

dumbstar: so Dio's a bitch, but Jonathan doesn't want to tell him?

Dunkin Donuts: Precisely.

Butterwhy: wow, it's a miracle. My hatred of Dio somehow grew 10 times it's original size.

heelie: same.

-------------------------------
   "Gappy, Joshu, Yasuho, and the thots"

ZepplTea: I went to the party.

Aquaman: so did i, though it wasn't pleasant

Butterwhy: some dude kissed him at midnight and he feels like he cheated on Kakyoin.

Cherrie: Jotaro.....

(Aquaman has left the chat)

(Butterwhy has added Aquaman to Gappy, Joshu, Yasuho, and the thots)

Cherrie: Listen.

Aquaman: .....

Cherrie: I snuck into the party to find you.

Cherrie: I kissed someone who looked like you. I'm glad it was you.

Butterwhy: i helped him get in and out.

Mom: Is that why my phone was vibrating with notifications from the security cameras?

Cherrie: Probably

Butterwhy: Probably

Chapter Text

"Gay Panic"     


dumbstar: can someone help me?

Butterwhy: what do i get for it?

heelie: what do i get for it?

dumbstar: the opputonity to get a gift for your Valentine??

heelie: I already have, so no

dumbstar: i just need help! Please!

Dunkin Donuts: He typed correctly, we must help. It must be urgent.

Butterwhy: shit he right
what do you need?

dumbstar: help

heelie: you said that

dumbstar: i want to get Caesar a Valentine's gift

Butterwhy: .........

heelie: ........

Dunkin Donuts: I'll go.

dumbstar: THANK YOU

Dunkin Donuts: You're welcome, Joseph. In exchange, I would like you to buy Mista a present for me.

dumbstar: like you choose, i buy??

Dunkin Donuts: Yes.

dumbstar: DEAL!

Dunkin Donuts: Good.

------------Time Skip------------

dumbstar: i got caesarino a present! and it's a good one!

BlueNO: I'm not surprised that Giorno knows how to find the perfect gift.

Dunkin Donuts: Thank you.

BlueNO: You're welcome!

Butterwhy: so what did you get your people???

dumbstar: you'll hear about when he screams in chat

Dunkin Donuts: As much as I love Mista, I got him a better sweater and shampoo and soap.

Moody Gay: I'm going to say this only once after Giorno speaks. Amen!

Chapter Text

    "Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu and the thots"

Mom: Happy Valentine's Day! 💖

Dunkin Donuts: Good morning, Jona.

Mom: Morning, Giorno.

dumbstar: are you enjoying your day jonathan?

Mom: Yes, Joseph, I am! Dio even left the house to get groceries!

Leafion: how long has he been gone for?

Mom: Roughly 1 and 1/2 hours.

Leafion: Pucci's been gone that long as well.

Mom: .....
Mom: I see.

(Mom has left the chat)

heelie: Let's give him some time.....
heelie: Does anyone have good news?

Raised by Bubbles: JOSEPH, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET ME AN EMO CHOKER?

Butterwhy: hxiexjdkxbeksikdkd

dumbstar: what are talking about caesarino? i got you a necklace with a red gem in it

Raised by Bubbles: YOU GIVE ME A NICE BOX, SO I EXPECTED SOMETHING NICE. BUT THIS FUCKER PUT IN A BLACK LACE CHOKER WITH A DEEP RED GEM SURROUNDED BY A GOLDEN BORDER!

WiiWagon: That seems fairly nice to me.

Dunkin Donuts: Please be glad I talked him out of buying you a whoopie cushion that blew literal bubbles.

Butterwhy: uekdhdnddhxos

Leafion: i got Jolyne a box of coconut and caramel filled chocolates.
Leafion: shes still eating them

Raised by Bubbles: Somehow that made me feel better.
Raised by Bubbles: @heelie What did Gyro get you?

heelie: He got me a stuffed horse that looks just like Slow Dancer.

Butterwhy: who else have there other a gift. I graced mine with my presence.

Worth the World: Oku cooked for me!

Worth a Billion: Josuke said that he could watch my dad for me if I'm ever staying late at Tonio's!

dumbstar: that was so sweet my teeth started aching

heelie: wow same.
-------------Time Skip-----------

Dunkin Donuts: I pray to my Lord, Colonel Sanders, that I live to see my next day. I simply wanted to have a decent smelling boyfriend, is that too much to ask?

Cherrie: Welcome to the Our Boyfriends Smell And Won't Take A Shower, But We Idolize Colonel Sanders Club. OBSWTSBWCSC, for short.

Deadly Smart: Or just, OGHM Club

Butterwhy: what does that stand for?

Deadly Smart: Oh God, Help Me club.

Shot Straight, I think: Giorno Giovanna, I Smell This Way Purely To Bother You And Not Because Water Is Expensive And Kills The Enviroment.

Moody Gay: He's the mafia boss, you shouldn't care.

Shot Straight, I think: Fine.

Tiny, Mighty: at least you're boyfriend didn't try to kill you because you got him a cheese head to match his outfit

Dunkin Donuts:  For now, I live.

Chapter Text

      Jonathan sat on the couch, staring at nothing. 'It's no use trying to get Dio to talk about where he was....', Jona sighs fully done with Dio's crap at this point. 'I should let him go like Johnny and everyone else told me.' He lets out a weak cry and covers his eyes. 'The only reason I still feel this pain is because I can't let him go!' Pure humiliation blows over Jonathan. Constantly being blamed by Dio throughout his childhood for things he never did, how Dio kisses Erina when they were together.

           Jonathan is only hurting himself.

    How he tried to deal with Dio's anger by himself to protect Giorno. 'I could ask for help, but everyone is dealing with their own problems to worry and help me. It doesn't matter if Dio slaps me or leaves me to be.' Jonathan struggles to get up and to the bathroom. 'It's not abuse or anything, right?' He checks his neck and shoulders to look at the old scars. 'Dio was only angry, it wasn't his fault.' Jonathan starts crying again. 'How much longer will Dio be gone? How much time can I enjoy myself?' He laughs. 'Worrying and hurting isn't how you enjoy yourself.' Jona moves to the bedroom to curl up. 'Johnny went to me to help him with his problems, but I can't even help myself.'

                 The door bell rings...

        He lays there and doesn't move. The door slams open and Dio storms into the bedroom.

"What the fuck are you doing? Crying. Of course!", Dio rants as he goes into the kitchen, "I'm going away for five days, if you don't move the groceries and stop being weak by then, I'm going to fucking leave you." Jonathan nods. 'It's only fair...' he thinks.

              And Dio slams the door shut.
 

            Jonathan cries himself to sleep.

Chapter Text

    "Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu and the thots"

dumbstar: happy st patties day!!

Aquaman: make sure to wear green

Cherrie: or you get pinched!

Hot Dad: Wow, I'm glad you can finish sentences with the help of each other.

(Dunkin Donuts has changed Hot Dad's name to Bitch King)

Bitch King: This is weak, I thought I taught you better insults.

Dunkin Donuts: You didn't reach me shit, so don't say "I taught you better..." anything because you didn't.

(Dunkin Donuts has kicked Bitch King from Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots.)

(dumbstar has smartly blocked Bitch King from ever coming back!)

dumbstar: no one can ever add him back

My 6th Sense is Cursed: aside from finally getting rid of dio, who needs emotional support a drink or a life?
My 6th Sense is Cursed: the answer is yes. I'm having drinks tonight and it's all on me, Avdol's our driver.

dumbstar: why avdol?

My 6th Sense is Cursed: because he's the only one who can drive decently and not drink. even if he did he won't be affected too much.

Cherrie: where is Avdol?

My 6th Sense is Cursed: shower

Cheerie: everyone must come!

dumbstar: sorry can't have plans

My 6th Sense is Cursed: that's fine! everyone else is, right?

WiiWagon: Probably.

----------------------------------

dumbstar -> Mom

dumbstar: i'm coming over and there's nothing you say that will stop me.

Mom: okay.......

Chapter Text

      I struggle to balance the two tubes of vanilla ice cream, cherries, fudge, whip cream, and rainbow sprinkles as I attempt to open the door to Jona's apartment. I somehow manage, making a beeline to the kitchen for a spoon before going to Jonathan's room. 'I should've brought one of Josuke's dogs' I think. I may be an excellent person to go to for emotional support, but dogs work wonders on people!

     I ease open the door and step in inside. I can barely see Jonathan in the blanket burrito that he has become. Even from here, I could clearly see the piles upon piles of tissues (all used). "Hey, Jona, I come bearing gifts." I speak softly. The blankets, which I believe means I can approach, and set the ice cream and spoon in front of the burrito in offering. Jonathan's hands sneak out and grab the items, nodding in approval. "I also have any toppings that you desire." I motion to his night stand where I set everything else down. Jona's eyes follow my arm and he immediately grabs the fudge and cherries.

     I stand fron my kneeling position, promptly sitting next to Jonarrito. "Soooo....." I drawl. Jonathan looks up at me. "I'm not exactly sure why you're acting like this. But I'm here to listen to you." Jona looks completely lost for a second before it dawned on him. He looked away from me, clearly nervous to talk about his feelings.

     "I'm in a....." Jonathan pauses before taking a breath. "I'm in an abusive relationship."

      I was not prepared for that! Sure, I knew Dio was an asshole, but Jona couldn't have done anything wrong! Taking steady breaths, Jonathan continues. "When we first got together, he didn't do anything." Eats a spoonful of ice cream,"Then, after I introduced him to my family, he started calling me names and treating me like a slave." Ice cream, "He went out with his friends more and more...." Humongous spoonful of ice cream plus a shit ton of cherries and fudge, "Then, he came back with another man." Sprinkles, "If I recall correctly, Enrico Pucci." Whip cream directly into mouth.

      "If you don't mind me asking," I hesitate, this is probably correct, "is that the same 'Pucci' that Jolyne talked about?" A dark shadow casts over Jonathan's eyes as he replys darkly, "Yes..."

      Everything makes so much more sense now! I feel stupid for not realizing it before. Jona starts talking again, "He had never taken anyone home before, so I thought it was a friend of his. I caught those two in the act, so later me and Dio got in a fight. That's when he began hitting me...." I think I can hear Dio calling me to end his life now! "He continued to go out every single night and coming back home with another man." My fist shakes uncontrollably. "Until he came home with a black eye."

     "Hell yeah!" I accidently yell out loud. Jonathan smiles at me and laughs, continuing the story happily "Yep! I asked him what it was and he just said, 'No more strip clubs...' with a horrified look on his face." We're both laughing. Jonathan collects himself and begins again, "He got all sad and violent, but he continues to constantly mutter 'No more clubs' under his breath and apologizes."

    "Jona, why were you crying then?" I was confused, if he had this "okay" relationship with Dio why was he crying? Jonathan sighed and ate the previously abandoned ice cream "He hurts me more and more every day." He looks horrified as he remembers something terrifying "He took out a knife yesterday." I dramatically gasp. What, I'm dramatic okay? "He always looks like he's battling himself and I don't know how to help him!"

     I gulp before asking, "Do you think he has a.... disorder? Like, split personalities? Or maybe he wants to hurt himself, so he takes it out on you because you're important to him?" Jonathan just sits there, clearly calculating the disorders and Dio's behavior. "Maybe...."

     "So....." I drawl "it's not your fault. If Dio continues to hurt you, you can report him to police or find that man a therapist!" I pause for it to sink in then yell "Now how about a movie!!" Jonathan laughs before nodding, and we head towards the living room with our ice cream and other junk in hand.

---------------------- Butterwhy -> dumbstar-----------------

Butterwhy: how did your talk with jonathan go????

dumbstar: how did you know about that??

Butterwhy: magic.....

dumbstar: k

dumbstar: plz stop talking to me now

Butterwhy: i haven't said anything for hours tho

Butterwhy: also why???

dumbstar: jona akd i ahe watckdkg Tangled aht Flynn did!

Butterwhy: have fun

dumbstar: thabk

Chapter Text

----------Gappy, Yasuho, Joshu, and the thots----------

(dumbstar changed the chat name to "PRAISE THEM MOTHERS")

dumbstar: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!!!
dumbstar: this day will be dedicated to jona and bruno!!!!!!!

Dunkin Donuts: I love my mother figures.

Butterwhy: happy mother's day jonathan!

Small, mighty: happy mom day bruno!!!!!!!!

Moody Gay: I love my boyfriend, Bruno Bucciarati.

Hot Dad: I love my boyfriend, Jonathan Joestar.

-------dumbstar -> Hot Dad-------

dumbstar: you fucking better

Hot Dad: I have no clue what you imply. Of course, I love Jonathan. I'm no monster.

dumbstar: i wouldnt doubt that you to be one. probs be a vampire that my family would fight to kill if you ever hurt jonathan.

Hot Dad: You clearly don't know a vampire or my capabilities, much less combine.

dumbstar: and you clearly dont know how far this family will and would go to stop you or anyone else from hurting our family.
dumbstar: Good Day.

-------PRAISE THEM MOTHERS-------

Butterwhy: how about a party in honor of our resident moms?????

(Mom added Wine Aunt to PRAISE THEM MOTHERS)

Mom: Erina, do you need help picking out wine for tonight?

Wine Aunt: I do need help, but the last time I asked you, you got a case of beer.

(ZepplTea has changed their name to Wine Uncle)

(Small, Mighty has changed Moody Gay's name to Wine Goth)

dumbstar: i think you should take the people whose name have "Wine" in them

Wine Aunt: @WineUncle @WineGoth Would you assist me in choosing wines for the party?

Wine Uncle: I would love to!

Wine Goth: going out with two strangers to look at wine? I couldn't think of anything more perfect

Dunkin Donuts: And you'll need to buy more eye liner @WineGoth

Wine Goth: DID YOU GET IN MY MAKEUP GIORNO GIOVANNA?

Dunkin Donuts: No, but the person who did told me not to tell you exactly who they are and I couldn't refuse.

Deadly Smart: It wasn't Narancia, Trish stole him from me

Wine Goth: GUIDO MISTA

Shot Straight, I think: at least Giogio didn't snitch.

Wine Goth: WHY WERE YOU IN MY MAKEUP

BlueNO: How did you even get all of it?

Wine Goth: YOU TOOK ALL OF MY MAKEUP?

(Shot Straight, I think added Pink Problem)

Pink Problem: correction i took your makeup

Small, Mighty: not saying i would leave Panna but if i was single i would date mista[damn.png]

[The picture shows Mista laying on a white bed a long orange skirt, cut so it falls off his bent right knee. He also sports a baby blue off-the-shoulder crop top. Mista was winking at the camera and had on a dark wig that perfectly matched his hair, pooling around his head. The picture was taken above him with weak sunlight turning his skin copper. His eyes were surrounded in a dark blue with slight shimmer, lips painted a lighter more natural pink.]

Leafion: how can a guy like mista pull that off??????

Butterwhy: babe you look hot too, but the world just works against us sometimes

Dunkin Donuts: @PinkProblem @Small,Mighty Where is Mista now

Small, Mighty: moms room trish is trying to get the makeup off but its not coming off well

Deadly Smart: I've never seen a man run as fast as Giorno running to see Mista in makeup

Worth the World: moving on from giorno's crisis when is the party going to be???

Mom: At my place? Around 6? I can start on dinner! @RaisedbyBubbles would you like to come over an help me

Raised by Bubbles: I'm on my way now, Jonathan

Mom: Great! @HotDad would you like to help as well? I trust you won't try to poison Joseph again with his boyfriend here

Raised by Bubbles: Can we poison Joseph?

Hot Dad: I like this one. Of course we can poison Joseph.

Raised by Bubbles: Perfect.

dumbstar: i fear my life rn

Dunkin Donuts: Mista is really hot

Shot Straight, I think: ufslbxodnfhxmdn

Small, Mighty: giorno broke mista

BlueNO: Not to pry, but are you two together yet?

 Dunkin Donuts: I would like to think so.

BlueNO: Beautiful. I believe it's time for Polnareff to hand over my $200 that he owes me.

My 6th Sense is Cursed: i was so close

BlueNO: Jotaro lost when he thought and bet on Mista asking.

Aquaman: I had faith in him

Wine Goth: a foolish choice

-----------Time Skip-----------

Roastichi: Would someone tell me what happened? Yukako stopped me from coming.

(Alien King added Alien King to PRAISE THEM MOTHERS)

Alien King: i can keep you updated Koichi

Roastichi: Thank you, alien.

Alien King: currently, the spiky dummy has almost been poisoned by an angry italian and a pornstar twice. The pretty blonde lady came in with armfuls of wine, along with an 80's italian and a goth.

Alien King: okuyasu had to calm down josuke when a butterfly made fun of his hair. the pool table got destroyed from that. a plankton and a whole lesbian had to hold her back. a weirdo in fishnet tries to go near the butterfly but an eskimo knocked him out. the stoic dolphin man threw the pornstar out the window after the spiky dummy talked to him. an angel gave us all a dinner which was really good to cheer everyone up. the angel gathered everyone into a home theater after we ate to watch movies. the goth and eskimo stood guard in case the fishnet came back.

Alien King: ill get back to you, Koichi, when the movie is over.

Roastichi: Thank you, Mikitaka!

Alien King: of course

Chapter Text

PRAISE THEM MOTHERS


(art whore has changed the chat name to "Fight me mortal")

Mom: Please don't fight!

art whore: You know what i won't stand for this slander. Higashikata online now

Worth the World: what whiny bitch called?

art whore: Rude motherfucker

Worth the World: Shut. what do you want?????

art whore: who's the noodle one?

Worth the World: you mean kakyoin

Aquaman: He's Mine, Fuck Off

art whore: chill i want to challenge him

My Sixth Sense Is Cursed: if youre going to try pole dancing against him he'll win

art whore: uh huh. No Art challenge.

Cherrie: pole dancing is an art. that's why no one can beat me.

Raised by Bubbles: Valid.

art whore: meet me at the easel at 12

Roastichi: He means the local Denny's employee parking lot at midnight

Cherrie: be ready to catch these brushes Bitch

art whore: i'm always ready.

Cherrie: good. you might want to bring some tissues for after your defeat

art whore: highly doubt i'll need them

Tangled: He just arrived at Koichi'd place to ask for tissues because he doesn't have any.

Cherrie: good


Time skip


Worth a Billion: how did it go?????

Aquaman: Kakyoin won.

Time to Burn: I believe he's currently crying with a proud smile, as well as a Kakyoib in his lap.

Cherrie: problem?

Time to Burn: Not At All

My Sixth Sense Is Cursed: i'm being stolen, my prison is my boyfriend's lap!!!!! send help immediately!

Butterwhy: Suffer.

Dunkin Donuts: Perish.

Hot Dad: Die.

My Sixth Sense Is Cursed: i feel like you guys could care less about my well-being

BlueNO: I believe your interrupting their time with their significant other, so please be quiet.

My Sixth Sense Is Cursed: fine but i want to see the art @art whore and @Cherrie made

Mom: I don't think Bruno got it through your thick skull, but I would deeply appreciate it if you were quiet or I'll be forced to reveal it.

My Sixth Sense Is Cursed: i'm going to shut up now.

Pink Problem: thank god

dumbstar: before we break apart may i say..... caesar has a nice ass.

WiiWagon: Please just be gay and be quiet.

dumbstar: i can't be both ;)

Mom: *sigh*

Chapter Text

Fight me mortal


Leafion: someone please tell my idiot girlfriend not to do tit pushups

dumbstar: tit pushups? jolyne why didnt you invite me!?

Butterwhy: i was about get started so get your ass over here if you want to

Raised by Bubbles: Joseph don't.

dumbstar: huh? i cant hear you. im with my gurl doing tit pushups

Cherrie: how even.... what?
what are tit pushups??

My Sixth Sense is Cursed: you'd need to have them to know.

Aquaman: polnareff just started up now

Time to Burn: sigh


----------------------------------


Mom: Are they done yet?

Leafion: no

dumbstar: you know, sense my tits are getting stronger i have a question

Raised by Bubbles: Now is not the time Joseph-

dumbstar: who has the thicc thighs in the family?

Raised by Bubbles:

Steel, with Balls: it's johnny

Hot Pockets: ^

Hot Dad: I believe Jonathan's are quite impressive.

Leafion: ^

Raised by Bubbles: I don't know. Joseph's are magnificent.

Worth a Billion: Josuke's nice too!

Cherrie: Jotaro's are average.

dumbstar: yeah he doesnt take care of his thighs like the rest of us

Heelie: guys mine aren't the best. my legs dont even work so how could they be thicc?

Shot Straight, I think: giorno's are pretty nice too ya know

WiiWagon: All Joestars have nice thighs, may we move on?

dumbstar: NO WE NEED TO KNOW WHO HAS THE BEST THIGHS!!!!!

Steel, with Balls: it's johnny

Hot Dad: No, I believe it's Jonathan

Worth a Billion: i mean, compared to those two josuke doesn't have a chance. sorry babe.

Worth the World: no i completely agree with you there.

My Sixth Sense is Cursed: so its just the jonathans then

Cherrie: looks like it.

Hot Dad: And not only does Jonathan have thighs that could kill, he also has a nice ass.

Steel, with Balls: so does johnny!

Mom: We could just call it a draw?

Heelie: yeah. i don't like my thighs being the topic of conversation.

Mom: Same here.

dumbstar: i vote johnny

Steel, with Balls: ^

Leafion: ^

Shot Straight, I Think: ^

Mom: Can we just stop please?

Heelie: Mom Spoke. Be Silent Or Else.

dumbstar: got it.


----------------------------------


dumbstar: imagine if id asked about asses....

Raised by Bubbles: Stop thinking and just go to bed.

dumbstar: youre no fun.

Chapter Text

Mom -> dumbstar


Mom: So I broke up with Dio.
Start playing Titanic when he walked in. One of us cried. I don't remember who. My eyes were blurry.

dumbstar: finally! how are you feeling?????

Mom: Better now that he's gone, but lonely. I'm thinking of finally bringing Danny home.

dumbstar: danny???
did you move on that quickly??
where were you hiding this one??????

Mom: Danny's a dog I adopted a while ago, but because Dio was allergic, I asked Speedwagon to take care of him

dumbstar: k
so no new person????

Mom: No new person

dumbstar: well that sucks

Mom: Give me time, Joseph.

dumbstar: sorry plz put the commas back

Mom: I won't.



Fight me mortal



dumbstar: anyway now that jona isnt the center of attention its my turn

Aquaman: what did you do

dumbstar: i asked caesar out

Butterwhy: did you actually say that?????

Worth the World: how many years have we waited??

Worth a Billion: im guessing a lot

Raised By Bubbles: Listen, it was not romantic and we were already on a date when it happened

My Sixth Sense is Cursed: he asked you out on a date while you were on a date.

Raised By Bubbles: Yes
And that's not even the worst thing about it

dumbstar: how about you dont continue???

Raised By Bubbles: Shut it. He asked the waiter to bring us 18 caesar salads and all of them had on letter on it. He was trying to spell "Will you go out with me?" but he spelt it and he messed up the letters

Heelie: how did he even manage to get you to accept the date?

Raised By Bubbles: As I said, we were already on a date

Butterwhy: what happened to the caesar salads?????

Raised By Bubbles: I forced JoJo to eat them all

Mom: At least he ate something healthy for a change :)

dumbstar: dont worry i ate a ton of candy afterwards

Aquaman: now that Jonathan doesn't need to worry about Dio he can help Caesar poison Joseph

Hot Dad: A worthy cause.

Butterwhy: and you are on my hit list

Hot Dad: I'm honored

Dunkin Donuts: Don't be. I have the mafia after you too

BlueNO: We got his location, Boss

Dunkin Donuts: We must wait until the right time.

BlueNO: Understood.

Steel, with Balls: are they joking or not??

Butterwhy: no idea