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As a seventeen year old who rarely thought through his decisions, Jisung found himself stuck in a rut of his thoughts and in far too deep to climb out again.
Minho and himself were supposed to be having another simple hang out that lazy afternoon, as friends do, simply slumped on the couch in front of the TV. The older sat at one end, one arm along the back of the couch with the other by his lap, eyes glued to the movie playing and rarely breaking away. Meanwhile, Jisung stretched out over the cushions, feet up over the opposite arm of the couch and head resting in the older’s lap. Contrary to Minho, the younger couldn’t care less about the film, too lost in his head. He’d had his eyes closed for however long it had been, just to focus his mind a little more.
Recently, spending time with the older had been just about all he looked forward to each day. It had become addicting in a way unexplainable and lead him to some deep reflecting on their bond. He’d realised that for quite some time, his feelings may not have been as platonic as he convinced himself they were.
I hope you love me like I love you.
The boy’s eyes remained shut but he could still picture Minho’s face perfectly, as if talking to the boy instead of letting his words stay cooped up in his brain to simmer even longer.
He didn’t know exactly why, but using the word love instead of like or something similar felt like the more accurate phrasing. No matter how much emphasis you added to like , it just wasn't strong enough. It didn’t convey just how strongly Jisung felt about the other.
Jisung was always unsure just how much of Minho’s heart was filled with himself, whether it was just as much as the older took up in his. All he could do was hope that he had impacted the older’s life enough to at least be engraved on his heart.
You’ve always cared for me, even when I'm broken.
He was pretty sure Minho treasured him too considering all the instances he’d cared and looked after the boy. Jisung remembered many a time when the other had come over to his home to visit while he was sick, comforted him in rough patches of life, even visited him in the hospital after a very minor surgery. He’d never hesitated to make sure the boy was okay in every way, had a shoulder to cry on, a support for every occasion.
Haven’t asked for a single thing in return either.
Regardless of Minho’s repeated denial of any favours or returns of the help, Jisung gifted it anyway. He’d do the same for the older without a doubt. Minho had always been such a generous and caring person that Jisung almost wished him to be just a little more selfish sometimes. “Whatever you want to do,” would always be his response when asked what he wanted to do, where to go, what to eat. It was almost frustrating to the younger how much Minho put him first.
I wouldn't live without you, we’ll be buried together at this rate.
He could hope their friendship would last long enough to grow old together, though the chances were slim. School friendships have low odds of lasting, but he was determined to fight for it.
Jisung felt Minho readjust his position in his seat, trying ridiculously hard not to move too much and disturb the boy he presumed was asleep in his lap. The younger was tempted to open his eyes to peek since he could sense Minho glancing down at him, though he felt like if he did, he’d end up a blushing mess the second their eyes would meet.
He simply fell back into his thoughts, as they settled again. Keeping a hold of their relationship was one end of the spectrum, but all the great memories made was a whole other box his mind was about to rummage through.
You’ve seen my whole story in real time.
They’d known of each other since Jisung was around 7, but never properly connected until around two years later. Jisung had always regretted not befriending the older sooner, but his shy child self had no intentions of talking to strangers, especially a boy one or two years older who could easily pick on him.
They finally got to know one another when their parents became friends, acquainting as neighbours do. They weren't as close now as they had been what with Minho soon moving about a mile or so away for whatever reason. It didn't affect the pair however, they simply found alternative ways to hang out together. Such as at school, asking to stay the night on various weekends, or biking to their favourite park once they were a little older.
Jisung almost giggled at the memories, but stopped himself knowing it would bring questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. His favourite memory however, one from not too long ago.
Like prom, when I went with that girl you never really took a liking to. Though, as long as I was happy, you said you were okay too.
The thought always gave him a funny feeling in his gut. Prom wasn’t his favourite time of all, not being much of a party goer himself, but he still managed to get some joy out of it. The girl he went with, same class as himself and they’d been friends for a while, she seemed to rub Minho the wrong way. He’d always rolled his eyes when she came to speak to the younger briefly, or intervene when she’d attempt to do just about anything with him. At the time, Jisung just thought he didn't like her for some reason, though looking back, he pondered; maybe it was jealousy.
His thought process paused for a moment, wondering just what the older had to be jealous of. Most likely envious of his best friends attention being elsewhere.
Feeling a little like testing the envy theory, Jisung cracked an eye open to talk to the other.
“You remember Ryujin?” The younger asked. Hearing the name immediately caught Minho’s attention, the boy furrowing his brow without removing his gaze from the TV.
“Yeah, why.” His voice was monotone, jaw clenching just the slightest bit when he closed it again after speaking his bitter to the ear words.
Jisung had to hold back the grin that pulled his muscles as he took that as agitation to the memory of the girl. He had to brush the conversation off quick, “Saw her down the grocers the other day, she looks so different.”
It wasn’t untrue, he had seen her in passing but hadn’t felt the need to mention it until now since his friend wasn’t her biggest fan. Though, it seemed like it was a good piece of info to hold onto.
“Different?” Now, the older grew curious at Jisung’s ambiguous description. Jisung had no idea what Minho was thinking for once and he didn’t like it at all, as if the hardened expression had made him impossible to see through as normal.
“Make-up all done and nice. Matured.” Jisung planned on leaving it there to let the older get back to his movie. Minho hadn’t looked down once which intrigued Jisung a little, knowing the older was never able to look him in the eye when something bothered him. Maybe he really didn't like the girl, maybe it was the pinch of envy of her and Jisung’s friendship. Who knows.
To be honest, I didn’t like her all that much either. At least, not like that.
She was friendly enough, but just not attractive like that to the boy. Which also sat oddly with him. Lots of his classmates had said she was cute, that they’d want to get her attention, yet she never piqued the boy’s interest. No one else did either.
No one other than the male he sat with in that moment. He was the only person who’d ever given Jisung that strong of a feeling regarding attraction. It had developed over time of getting to know the other, which is why it took him so long to realise just what was going on when an eruption of butterflies occurred at just the thought of his friend.
We’ve seen each other grow to the people we are now. I hope you still like me and the path I chose. I know I love yours.
Over the years, he’d felt himself grow as a person, watched Minho do the same, yet as much as they’d changed, it was never enough to divide them. Moving past their past, he wished he knew just how much they’d grown as friends from then, until now. Regardless of his minor and rapidly developing crush, he valued their friendship higher than anything else.
As he thought about it, he felt Minho’s hand that had rested on the back of the couch fall to his torso. He would have welcomed the action if it wasn’t for the boy immediately running his fingers down the youngers sides, tickling him rather effectively. Jisung squirmed at the feeling, grinning with a brief giggle before he pulled the olders hand away and placed it on his lower chest, where he thought it was going to end up anyway. His eyes remained closed since he had giggled too much to open them anyway, settling back again.
They’d definitely grown closer rather than apart all those years, and while they had other friends, they were always the closest. Physical affection was common practice for them, hence the nonchalant hand on his chest and the thigh-pillow. It was odd how Jisung welcomed the actions since he wasn't overly touchy with the rest of his friends, it just felt right. He couldn’t flaw the older, nothing of the boy himself was negative at all.
Though, I didn't like that one party you went to that I couldn't go to. You called me up drunk and I went to pick you up. Well, walk you home more like.
It was more some of his actions he wasn’t a fan of. Sometimes the boy would go out to parties or drinking nights with his friends since he was approaching nineteen. It was less the outings themselves that bothered the boy, but more that he couldn't be there too. He was determined to be going with the older all the times he could as soon as it was legal for him to drink too.
I’m glad it was me you called… Are you always thinking of me?
The fact that he was top of Minho’s list of people to drunk call gave Jisung a strange flutter like feeling in his stomach, it made him a little timid. If the older had thought of him immediately while drunk, that would mean he must be prominent in the boys mind anyway, right? After all, a drunk man acts as a sober man thinks.
Something inside him always begged to be the centre of Minho’s attention, not wanting anyone else to have that spot. He knew it would happen one day, they’d go their separate ways and find partners, have families, new friends. He felt selfish for trying desperately to keep the top spot and found himself cringing at the idea of someone else being the other’s top priority.
Maybe we’re set on different paths, the beats of our drums may one day take us different ways. We’re still young after all.
They were still incredibly young and not too sure of what they really want. Though Jisung had a pretty good idea of what he wanted.
Minho's hand warmed his chest both internally and externally. His heart felt as though it was swelling at the affectionate touch, while his skin tingled under it. Fingers grazed slowly back and forth in a comforting manor, sending the boy shivers but he tried hard not to react. An urge to hold hands and simply feel contact with the older nagged in Jisung’s mind almost every time they were together, so for once, he decided to act on it.
The younger raised his right hand that had been dangling off the couch, gently placing it over the top of Minho’s. As he did, he heard a soft chuckle sound from above him which was a sigh of relief to his tense mind. He thought maybe the action would be strange, god knows why, but Minho most likely thought the younger was just stopping him from doing the ticklish movement. Satisfied he could use that as a cover up, Jisung left his hand there, though softly stroking his own fingers across the back of Minho’s hand.
He peeked up briefly just to gauge Minho’s reaction to see the older with his attention back on the screen, mostly unchanged besides the soft smile that pulled up the corners of his lips. A smile on Minho’s face would always make the younger’s double in size, letting him close his eyes satisfied and relaxed again.
Though, as soon as his eyes fell shut, he remembered his previous thinking. How there would one day come a time where they weren’t together almost everyday, a day where they may not remember each other at all.
God forbid that day.
If they were to ever have to divert from their shared path, Jisung knew it would take him some time to heal. Weeks wouldn’t do it, months wouldn’t either, a number of years had a slim chance of success. The idea of not having each other seemed to lodge something in his throat, a lump of which he couldn’t get rid of without either shedding a few tears or swiftly changing the subject.
A subject such as the many they’d often chat about for hours on end when they sit out on the pavement, or the park, or even sneak up to the roof for some late night star gazing. It was common for them to share in deep and sometimes very personal stories and topics which they could only speak of with one another. Ever since they had spoken about it, Jisung couldn’t stop pondering of one.
That conversation we had a few nights back, you said you didn't know if you believed in love. Well, I think I do.
He’d given it a lot of thought, and the concept of love and its meanings and feelings didn’t seem too far fetched. It could be interpreted in different ways, one of those things you could never know what it was until you felt it. People always say that you will feel three types of love in life, love for your parents, love for a partner, and love for your children. The first and third were pretty straight forward, it was the second he felt there was a gauge that each person was to determine for themselves.
It could be anything, as long as it feels right to you. I don't know, but I hope I can encounter them all.
Love was a tricky thing to determine. By the three-step idea, you’d never feel true love for someone outside your family except a significant other. So, by the standard of that, Jisung couldn’t have anything stronger than a crush on the older. The only problem with that was; he’d had many a crush in his early years, and none came close to the connection and adoration he had for Minho.
Honestly, I think I only have one to go. My parents are two of my best friends, and the other is letting me use their leg as a pillow right now.
He had no idea in reality, but the tingling feeling in his fingers was more than definitely down to their contact with the other’s bare skin. He wanted nothing more than to be able to cuddle with Minho, hold his hand and simply express all this affection he felt for the boy. While it wouldn’t seem ridiculously weird for physical contact frequently, it was limited and meant a whole lot more to Jisung than just ‘best friends being friendly’.
Though, labels for his feelings were the last of his troubles, just distinguishing them between friendly and a little more had been a task. So far, his ‘friendship box’ of emotions had a couple things to its name, while the ‘romantic feelings box’ was stacked up rather high. Everything was pretty blurry amongst all the discoveries of the reasons behind all his emotions, though there was one thing he was sure on.
All I know is; I’d do just about anything for you.
It may have been a bold statement, but he felt it was true. If anything were to cause the older to come into harm's way, Jisung knew he’d be first in line to jump right in the line of fire if it meant no harm to Minho. He remembered trying to do it in the past by taking the blame for things that Minho had done, or maybe that they’d both done. Either way, he’d tried his best to take the heat off the older boy, but the other would just do it right back, rendering his efforts useless. Hindsight showed that their childhood selves were rather silly to do so, but the intent was there, it still was.
He remembered many silly situations they’d been in, like when Minho had thrown himself into the firing line of a dodgeball so it wouldn’t hit Jisung in the head while he wasn’t paying attention. He got his ears chewed off by their team for giving the other team a free elimination, but he didn't care, that ball would've hit Jisung hard.
Or when one of the neighbour's kid was having a birthday party and they were invited to attend. While the pair were playing, Minho had accidentally dropped his juice on the white rug, inevitably staining it a nice, fruity smelling red. When it was discovered only a minute or so later, Jisung claimed responsibility instead, saying he knocked the cup over by accident as it was left on the coffee table. Either way, they both received a telling off, but all Jisung cared about was that it wasn’t Minho in trouble, but both of them sharing the repercussions.
I’m going in circles, everything is just a big blurry lump of confusion and doubt.
He furrowed his brow gently as his eyes stayed locked shut, nose also crunching a bit as his mind became a soup of unknown. Nothing made a whole lot of sense to Jisung in that moment, but the distress on his face made it clear he was trying to understand. He tried to understand just what made the older special to him, why his feelings were different to how he saw his other friends, why the gentle grazing of Minho’s thumb over his hand gave him an unbelievable amount of butterflies.
He was slowly coming to terms with the fact that he may never understand, but it wouldn't stop him from trying. Even worse amongst all of these thoughts, he could barely understand and know what he was feeling, let alone figuring out the brunette and what he was thinking. The unknown was a scary feat to the boy, and in his reflecting, he realised just how much he had yet to learn. Learning came with being young, but you really never stop.
I know nothing, in the grand scheme of things, but I can figure things out. We both can, with a little help from one another.
He was sure he was going to need all the help he could get, with not only his own mush-of-a-brain, but life in general. While there would obviously be obstacles he’d have to maneuver by himself, Jisung could think of no one better to work through life's problems with than the older boy he sat with.
I hope you’ll stay by my side, I really do. Stick with each other to the very end.
If he could have one wish for his life, it would be to have Minho in his company for as long as was physically possible. Not just by a daily standard, but for their lives as a whole.
At this point, Jisung didn’t realise his brow had still been furrowed while he’d been fidgeting through his contemplations. He only realised when Minho’s other hand had crossed over to run a finger over the crease in his forehead, as if trying to smooth out the distress. Jisung couldn’t see the smile on the olders face since his eyes remained closed, but he could practically hear it through the approving huff he let out at the sight of Jisung’s face becoming relaxed. Guessing the older thought he was asleep, he kept it that way, simply exhaling gently and keeping his eyes closed.
Because you’re my best friend.
The thought left a strange feeling, as if it wasn’t supposed to be like it was. Their relationship until that point had been purely friendship, yet somehow Jisung felt like ‘best friend’ didn't fit into the scenario at all.
Through thick and thin, they’d stuck together like glue, and something about it just felt like it was meant to be more to the younger. He lay there, picturing all the times that they’d naturally gravitate to each other. All the laughs, the tears, the awkward situations and bustling parties, they’d always have the other by their side to share the joy, ease the burdens and comfort one another.
We’ve hurt each other before, chances are we will again. Never intentionally, never malicious. We always make amends, heal to become better than ever.
While they’d support each other, they also had their own problems. Neither would intend to hurt the other, but it would happen now and again. Arguments and quarrels were what Jisung despised between them because when they happened, they hit him hard. It was most difficult because one half would be deep in the heat of anger, wanting the other to feel every ounce of his pain, yet the other half still nagged, worried and desperate to put an end to the olders sadness.
After what felt like an eternity to Jisung, though more like a day or two, the pair would make up, talk it out and end up being closer than ever. Each fight would lead to learning just a little more about each other, thickening the bond one strand at a time.
I’d miss you through our rough patches, more than I'd like to admit, but we get through.
Even if they were only fighting for a day or two, Jisung missed the olders company every second. Usually when he was down, he’d have Minho’s number ready to call or text and be able to talk his problems out with no hitch. Though, without that option, it all felt ten times more frustrating and difficult to deal with. He missed just simple conversations, just the company. The boy often felt like a puppy with separation anxiety, any minor inconvenience felt like the end of the world without someone to talk to.
I miss you every day. I can’t imagine what being apart would feel like.
They were at the point that not a day would go past without hanging out, lengthy video chats or phone calls. No matter how late into the night it became, Jisung could never get enough of listening to the older talk, rambling about nothing and everything at the same time.
Some days when their hangouts would include other friends, the younger would still feel like they hadn't spoken properly. It was nothing against the others, he adored them, of course, it just didn't feel quite the same. Maybe it was the intimacy, maybe it was just too many people to take the older’s attention.
Feels like I'm a different person without you. You bring out the best in me. You are the best part of me.
He really believed at that point they could pass as one person. Something was missing if they weren't together and it left a sickening feeling looming in his stomach.
As he thought, the hand that previously ran over the crease in his brow slipped down over his head. Minho began gently carding his fingers through the boy’s hair, taking tufts between his fingers to twist and fiddle with, making little loops to bounce with his thumb. The sensation on his scalp gave the younger shivers, loving the attention and affection from the boy that just wouldn’t let his heart rest.
There's so many feelings circulating. I can’t pinpoint what they are but I know they’re here because of you.
That was the only thing Jisung knew for sure out of the sea of thoughts and feelings, that confusing bundle of emotions was here for one reason only. They annoyed and pricked at his mind for the longest time, he couldn’t understand what they meant yet knew exactly why they were there.
They're here for you.
The soft twizzling of his light brown hair gave a feeling of light and comforting warmth in his chest, gifting him a faint smile out of contentment of that moment they shared. His subconscious made the hand holding Minho’s on his torso grip just that little bit tighter, clearly picked up on by the older as he gently squeezed his hand back.
What with everything he’d thought over that evening, what lengths he’d go to for the older, what they’d already been through over the years, he reached his conclusion. By the three-step standard, he felt as though he could finally understand that second step.
What’s love? I think it's this.
Though they were young, naive and had plenty more to experience, Jisung could tell that whatever the mess was that he felt then and there, it was a good indication to what love could be. What love for the boy he lay in the company of could entail. While he knew there was plenty more to that second type of love to feel, this was certainly a start. He was always told, and was a firm believer, that you’d know love when you felt it; and here it was.
You amaze me to no end, and I think that's where it all started.
Minho never failed to baffle the younger, anything he’d learn about the boy would bring another strand of admiration. His seemingly endless kindness, his charm, his numerous skills and talents, the bottomless pit of ways he’d show how much he cared. Not a day passed where Jisung wouldn’t find something new to love about the older.
I don't have to be anyone but myself around you. No secrets. No lies.
Not only did he love and endless number of things about Minho and his personality, he also loved what the boy brought out in himself. He didn't have to put out any extra energy or anything he wasn’t really feeling when they spent time together, nothing was fake to keep the other happy, they stayed true to themselves. Jisung simply adored how Minho brought out the best, most genuine part of himself which he didn’t think he’d ever have found without him.
I know you’ll support whoever and whatever I choose.
All they wanted was the best for each other, which made Jisung’s next decision all the more difficult.
He couldn’t help himself but to crack open his eyes, relieved to see the other with his attention trained on the screen before them. Minho’s distracted attention gave the younger chance to compensate while admiring his strong features. He had to refrain from reaching out and running his fingertips along Minho’s jawline, sharp and defined now that he’d matured to a young adult.
He had to make a choice. He debated between his options; either sit on it for the rest of his life and hope to god all these feelings go away, or, talk it out, see if he’s being delusional and tell Minho just what he felt and see where it would go. The idea of telling the older scared him, especially since it could have the ability to turn their whole dynamic on its head and ruin everything. Though, he had to. No secrets, no lies.
I’m going to have to get this off my chest.
He let out a shaky breath, trying yet failing to slow his increasing heart rate. A comforting hand on his chest suddenly made him all the more nervous, the older migrating his palm over the area of which Jisung’s heart hammered against his ribcage. The older clearly felt the sudden raise in tempo, turning his attention to the boy in his lap yet Jisung failed to notice, too stuck in his head to realise.
I’ve got nothing to lose.
Jisung tried to tell himself everything would be fine, but he wasn’t fooling himself at all.
Except you—
“What’s up?” A sudden voice broke his worried thoughts, startling him to look up and see the face of the boy he’d just spent the best part of an hour thinking about.
“Huh?” Jisung could only respond with that, startled and attempting to relax his anxious body. After not receiving a response immediately, Jisung looked to his side to see that the credits of the movie had long been rolling but he hadn’t noticed at all.
Minho's eyes never left the boy as he rolled his head back to be facing up at the older again as a quiet sigh left his lips. Catching the sigh pretty easily, Minho furrowed his eyebrows, worry etched into his features and questions sitting on his tongue. Though, he didn’t need to question at all.
“I can feel it. Something's up.” Minho confirmed, twisting himself to sit with his back against the arm rest, one foot on the floor while the other leg stretched out down the length of the couch. Since the older moved, Jisung lifted his head from the boy’s lap and shifted around, sitting cross legged in front of Minho but clearly a lot more nervous.
His teeth worried his bottom lip at the corner while his hands both sat together in his lap and fidgeted under Minho’s gaze. Jisung refused to look up until a hand covered his two in order to stop his fiddling. Minho held both of Jisung’s hands in his own, running comforting thumbs over the backs of the youngers hands in hopes to soothe his nerves.
“What is it.” It would of been a question, but Minho knew there was definitely something for Jisung to let out, so spoke it as more of a command. He stared into what he could catch of the youngers rapidly diverting eyes, he seemed very interested in something or another to their side or in his lap.
Jisung knew there was no escaping it now. Though he wanted to put everything he was thinking out into the open, he had hoped to give it an easier build up than this. Maybe, if it was brought about less abruptly, it wouldn't put too big of a dent in their friendship if Minho reacted badly.
“Don't hate me.” Jisung felt himself having to preface. That was his biggest fear at the end of the day, losing what they had because of feeling something more.
Minho squeezed his hands, scooting forwards a little so that both Jisung’s knees rested on his thighs. “I could never.”
While his words should have been comforting, they didn’t do much to reassure Jisung. He could say that now because he didn’t know what was coming. The older was, and had been for a while, unaware of the growing feelings Jisung had for him, making it all the more difficult.
“You can tell me, Ji, it’s me.” Minho could read his hesitation so tried reassuring with a smile. Their current physical closeness could directly correlate to their emotional connection, what with Jisung being practically sat in his lap. Usually, talking to Minho about anything at all was easy to do, yet in this case, it was all the more difficult because it was him.
Regardless of the anxieties that rattled his brain of where the topic would leave them afterwards, Jisung couldn’t keep bottling it all. Releasing his feelings and talking out his emotions was always the only way he could keep himself at peace and he was desperate to alleviate the pressure on his chest.
The fact that his hands were in Minho’s didn't make it much easier, knees also snug on top of the olders thighs gave him little breathing room. After the few moments silence, Jisung lifted his worried gaze to meet the olders to tell him the truth. No more secrets.
“I think I like you.” His voice came out a cracked whisper, only small traces of vocal use in amongst the choked words. The moment the words fell past his lips, he wanted to take them back again as he broke his gaze back to their held hands. Though they weren’t the words he truly felt, he thought that while love was the right way to phrase it to himself, Minho may have taken it too heavily at such a strong word. It took a few moments for Minho to process the information, his expression unchanged.
“You mean like…” He trailed, insinuating the romantic context of the words instead of the platonic ones. He didn’t sound upset or mad like Jisung had braced for, though there wasn’t much of a trace of anything else either. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything in fear of his voice shattering completely, simply nodding to confirm what Minho had asked.
The couple of silent seconds felt like an eternity to Jisung while he waited for the older to shoot him down. However, instead of what he anticipated, he glanced up to see a small smile on the boys face which Jisung didn’t expect at all. Though, he put it down to pity.
“I didn’t even know you were into guys…” Minho let out a small chuckle, learning of the others orientation for the first time somehow. Jisung gave a forced smile, surprised that this was the first thing Minho took from the information.
“Surprise?” He raised his brow with the not-so natural smile, the word coming out as more of a question. He pulled his hands out of Minho’s grasp, pulling them to his face to hide his quickly reddening cheeks. As he hid, he heard the older sigh and shift a bit, not awkward but indecisive of what to do. Ultimately, he ended with a hand on his knee, caressing arches with the pad of his thumb.
“How long?” Minho asked, receiving a shrug as a response. Jisung had no idea how to answer the question properly; could have been a month, a year, since they'd met. Who knows? He sure didn't. That was the trouble with feelings developing, you can’t pinpoint just where everything went south.
Minho nodded with the vague answer he received, he couldn't do much more. Jisung could tell without even looking that the older didn’t know how to respond, yet had no idea what he was thinking. Gauging Minho’s loss for words, he was somewhat relieved he didn’t say one hundred percent of what he felt, having toned it down as to not come on too strong. To say that over the past few years he felt as though he’d been slowly falling in love would surely be too much for the older.
Jisung pulled his palms from his face slowly just to see what sort of expression the older had, finding Minho still staring at him with a small, tight-lipped smile. The younger didn’t know if Minho was waiting for him to say something more, or if he just didn’t know how to respond, but either way the silence was killing him.
“Please, say something.” His voice was still barely a squeak, shy and nervous. He waited for something, yet the older said nothing. He simply looked away briefly, poking his tongue between his lips the smallest bit, something Jisung learned he would do when he was trying to decide or think about something. Jisung would have given anything to know what he was thinking. With the thick silence surrounding them still, Jisung started getting desperate for some sort of reaction, something to go off of. “Just, shout, kick me out, shove me away, do something— ”
His struggled words were cut off by a hand reaching up to brush his face. It was only then that he realised he’d let a tear escape, of which Minho had reached out to brush it away. He didn’t want to cry at all, it was a combination of fear and frustration that triggered a couple of tears, nothing more. Minho’s action caught his attention, watching his features intently as the boy opened his mouth to speak.
“You wanna try?” He asked with none of the hesitation he had before. It caught Jisung off guard completely as he felt Minho take his hand in his own again.
“What?” Now, it was Jisung’s turn to be at a loss for words, that being to only thing he could get out in hopes the older would elaborate. In the past minute or so, he’d managed to mentally prepare for as many bad reactions as possible, yet this was a complete shock.
Minho smiled, finding Jisung’s widened eyes and surprised reaction to be both amusing and quite cute. His gaze fell away for a second, still rubbing comforting circles onto the boys knee with his gentle thumb. Jisung sat anticipating the older’s elaboration, which only choked him up more.
“Will you let me take you on a date? A proper, more than friends date?” Minho asked, brows knitting in worry of the answer. The younger had no idea why Minho was worried of his answer, he thought it would be rather obvious. Jisung however, couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.
Did Minho actually feel a similar sort of way, or was he just doing it out of sympathy? Jisung hated how quick he was to overthink anything and everything, yet he managed to tell himself that the boy wouldn’t do that to him. He may have been stupidly caring and selfless for the younger, but there was no way he’d lead him on like that.
The longer he didn’t respond, the more worried Minho became. When Jisung hadn’t answered immediately, his featured showed an edge of sadness that the younger couldn’t bear the sight of. He nodded softly, letting the bright smile out at the fact that the older may feel the same, though he couldn’t tell.
Jisung’s grin was contagious, Minho gaining one of his own as his pulled the boy in for a hug. They readjusted on the couch to be facing the TV again, though this time, Minho pulled the younger into his hold to cuddle as they watched whatever had come on after their film. Now, they’d cuddled before, many many times. Jisung didn’t know about the older, but this time felt different. Like he was in the hold of somebody he saw a whole new future with. Suddenly he didn’t have to hope anymore.
Maybe, you do love me like I love you.