Archive of Our Own ^beta

   Kong was speed-walking through the library, weaving through the shelves, grabbing whatever books he thought would help him most, judging solely by title, then he sat down at one of the open tables placing his now 15 book tall stack on the table. Kong had exams coming up and he knew that if he didn't pass this test he'd be in big trouble. Not only with the school, but with P'Arthit, he knew that if Arthit saw that he failed he'd be disappointed in him. Arthit had said many times before that being their Engineering juniors meant having to be top in their class. Kong didn't want to let Ai-Oon down. P'Arthit was the reason Kongpope enrolled in the Engineering department and the reason he studied so hard to keep his grades up. So, recently, he was in the library every day studying and when he wasn't in the library studying he was in his dorm. He was having a particularly hard time this semester and he didn't know why. All he knew was that he was getting the worst grades he'd gotten in the past two years and he didn't know why. Kong was devoting all his time to studying for his exam, leaving barely any time to hanging out with friends. 

Kong brought out a notebook and pens from his bag and started reading the first book in the stack, taking notes as he went. He had to shake himself to keep awake a few times as he studied. He had an awful sleep schedule due to how much he had been studying. Kong's phone started to ring around an hour into his study session, he sighed and pulled his phone out of his bag, already sure he knew who it was. He looked at the screen and his guess was confirmed, it was P’Arthit calling him. He frowned as he pressed decline, he needed to study if he was going to pass, and he couldn’t study if he was hanging out with P’Arthit. He didn’t want to let P’Arthit down if he failed, P’Arthit who had helped him many times in the past and had told him to get good grades, telling him he knew that he could get top grades. Now, Kong was feeling like he was very close to getting the worst grades in his year. He felt bad constantly denying P’Arthit’s calls, dodging him when he came by his dorm, and always saying he was busy when P’Arthit, his friends, or his senior code members asked him to hang out. But what was he supposed to do? He needed to do well on these tests. He can’t fail. However, he was starting to doubt himself.

I don’t know if I can do this. Kong thought to himself. I’ve been doing poorly all semester, there’s no way I can pass these exams. Should I give up? Kong could feel himself about to cry, so he quickly raced to his dorm. He unlocked the door as fast as he could and went inside, dropping his bag on the floor and flopping down onto his bed. He hadn’t noticed until he stopped moving that tears were flowing down his cheeks. He wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his breathing. Kong laid on his bed staring at the ceiling, his head swimming with worry and uncertainty. He was really missing his boyfriend, he hadn’t seen him for 3 weeks. Since the day his teachers had told his class that these exams would be worth half of their grades. Which meant Kong really really needed to study. He had devoted all his time to studying since then, barely leaving time to eat or rest. Actually, now that Kong thought about it, he didn’t know the last time he had eaten anything. Two days ago? A week? More? Kong drifted off to sleep as he contemplated. He had been taking pretty poor care of himself now that he thought of it, especially because there was no one around to notice that Kong wasn’t taking care of himself. He had pushed all his friends away to focus on studying. 

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Arthit was getting worried, it had been over a month and Kongpope was still ignoring Arthit’s calls and not coming to the door when he came by his dorm room. He was genuinely starting to worry that Kong was planning to break up with him or maybe even- no Kongpope wouldn’t do that to Arthit, or to anyone for that matter. But, when Arthit ran into Kongpope’s friends and they revealed that he was ignoring their calls and avoiding them outside of classes, he had a whole new reason to be worried. Which is why he was extremely grateful to Nong Aim when he gave him his spare key to Kongpope’s dorm. He thanked Aim and then rushed over to Kongpope’s dorm building. He ran up the stairs to his room, breathing heavily, and knocked on the door. 

“Kongpob? Kongpob?” He called through the door. “Can I come in?” When a few minutes passed and he still got no answer from Kongpope, he unlocked the door himself and went in. He nearly let out a gasp at what he saw. Kongpope, his strong, determined, Kongpob, was asleep across his bed surrounded by stacks of books. He had lost so much weight since Arthit last saw him as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks and he had heavy bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in even longer than that. He wasn’t even laying across the bed properly, he was lying across the bed, on top of his blankets, still in his school uniform. Arthit went over to the bed and gently laid Kongpope down properly, pulling a blanket over him. He cleared all the books off his bed and put them away, then tidied the rest of his room a bit, just as Kongpope had done for him in his first year. Once he had finished cleaning and checked to see that Kongpope was still comfortably sleeping he went out to buy Kongpope a minced pork omelet he has such bland taste and an iced coffee for when he woke up. He sat down and Kongpope’s desk and waited for him to get up.    

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When Kong woke up he was confused, he didn’t remember putting a blanket on himself, in fact, he didn’t even remember getting into bed. The last thing he remembered was studying in the library. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, somehow still tired. 

“0062?” Wait, that sounds like Ai-Oon. How did he get in here? Am I imagining things? “0062?” This time Kong felt a hand on his shoulder gently shaking him. “Kongpope, are you awake?” 

“Khab P’” Kong groaned, finally opening his eyes. “P’Arthit? What are you doing here? How did you get in my dorm?” Kong’s ears hadn’t been deceiving him earlier, P’Arthit really was here. Kong finally looked up and made eye contact with Arthit, his eyes were filled with concern, more than he had ever seen from P’Arthit. 

“Nong Aim gave me his key. He’s really worried about you, all of your friends are.” Kong nodded. After a few seconds of silence, Arthit spoke again. “So am I.” He turned away from Kong’s gaze. Kong smiled at the blush coloring Arthit’s cheeks and the tips of his ears. No matter how long they had been dating, Arthit still got flustered showing any type of affection. Kong smiled at his cute reaction, he was adorable. Kong’s smile faded as what Arthit said registered in his head, making him feel even worse. He didn’t mean to make his friends worry and he definitely didn’t mean to make P’Arthit worry. Especially not to the point where he felt he had to come to check up on him. Arthit walked over to the table across from the bed and picked up a bag before returning to Kong’s side. 

“Here, I got this for when you woke up. I figured you’d be hungry.” Arthit said and handed Kong the food. 

“Thank you P’” Kong smiled, taking a sip of the iced coffee. They sat in silence for a while as Kong ate. Once Kong finished his omelet and set down his coffee Arthit sat down on the bed across from Kong.

“Kongpob,” Arthit spoke, his voice extremely gentle as if he thought if he spoke any louder Kong would break. “Are you okay? Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”  Just like that, Kong broke down, all the stress and doubt from the past month finally hitting him. He tried his best to explain everything through his tears and Arthit just listened silently, waiting for Kongpob to finish. 

Kong told him about his upcoming exams, how he had been struggling to keep up his grades all semester and how he didn’t think he’d be able to pass the exams. He told Arthit how he had been avoiding everyone because he needed to focus on studying because he didn’t want to let P’Arthit down by failing his exams. By the time Kong was done he was sure he was going to be massively dehydrated. 

“I’m sorry, P’Arthit.” Kong croaked out when he finished his rant. Arthit had tears in his eyes as he leaned forward and wiped the tears off Kong’s cheeks. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Kongpob,” Arthit said, wrapping his arms around him. “Don’t worry, you are doing more than enough.” 

“But what if I fail P’Arthit?” Kong asked, eyes trained on his own lap. “Won’t you be disappointed in me?”

“Of course I won’t Kongpob. Troubles are bound to come, but you just have to hold on and believe in yourself” Kong had never heard P’Arthit speak as softly as he was right now. “You’re doing fine. When things are hard, I’ll run with you. Don’t worry.” Kong was crying again, but this time it wasn’t because of his stress or worry, it was because of Arthit’s gentle, supportive words. Kong had been so worried about Arthit being disappointed in him he didn’t even think about whether Arthit would care if Kong failed or not. P’Arthit was his boyfriend, Kong should’ve known that he’d believe in him. 

“Thank you P’Arthit.” Kong smiled weakly, still feeling bad about avoiding him the past month. 

“You just gotta take your time, you can do it.” Arthit smiled, gently cupping Kong’s cheeks, tilting his head down, and kissing the top of his head. That shocked Kong right out of his sadness. He did not expect Arthit to do that. He looked at Arthit, who unsurprisingly had bright red cheeks, and smiled at him brightly. He almost never initiated any kind of skinship, especially not kisses, so him doing so now showed Kong just how much he cared. 

“How about we go do something to get your mind off the exams for a while?” Arthit suggested.

 Kong nodded, “Do you want to go watch a movie? There’s a new one out that’s supposed to be really good!” Arthit agreed under the condition that Kong first took a shower, saying he looked like he hadn’t done so in a year. Kong took a shower, already feeling his energy levels rise, and then he and Arthit left his dorm room. They reached the door to the apartment complex and Kong sighed, his exams still at the forefront of his mind. Arthit turned to face Kong, almost as if he knew what he was thinking. 

“It’s okay, you’ll do great.” Kong sighed, nodding. He really just needed to get out of his own

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head for a while and relax. He and Arthit went to the movies and enjoyed their first night together in over a month. 

Arthit and Kong enjoyed the movie and then went to find something to eat for dinner. They, unsurprisingly, went to the same place they had gone for their first “date” and usually went most times they wanted dinner out. Kong sat, enjoying the meal and P’Arthit’s company. He missed this, he really missed this. At that moment he decided never to ignore Arthit again. No matter how hard school was. 

“Mmm 0062…” Arthit called to him. “Kongpob?” He tried again, waving a hand in front of Kongpob’s face “Kong!” He called a third time, poking Kong in the temple. 

“Huh?” Kong said, coming out of his daze. 

“You were staring at me Kongpob.” Arthit smirked. “Am I that good-looking?” Kong reached across the table to smack his shoulder. 

“Since when did you become so bold and flirty P’Arthit?” Kong asked, leaning back to his original seating position.

“People can change N’Kong.” Arthit smirked happily. Kong rolled his eyes but smirked as he got an idea, he knew exactly how to turn Arthit back into his normal, easily flustered, self. He stood up out of his seat and stood next to Arthit, taking his hand gently in his own and leaning close to his ear.

“Whatever you say...Ai’Oon.” Kong whispered the last part, a smirk now on his face. Arthit pulled away from him blushing. 

“Oi! Kongpob!” He whined, pushing the younger away who just started laughing as he went back to his seat. He smiled at his flustered boyfriend as he put his head in his hands, embarrassed.  He never felt more relaxed than when he was with Arthit, he thought, as he remembered what Arthit had said to him earlier.

‘It’s okay, you’ll do great’

Even just this phrase became Kongpon’s strength.