Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sweat on Isak’s brow drips further down the side of his face as he stands from his bed to open his window. He knows it’s hopeless to open it as the humid air sinks in, but he still lets himself wish for the faintest breeze. It’s one of his easier wishes, and he hopes there is some higher being to at least grant him this one. 

The sweat is dripping down his back, and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hands still holding up onto the window panes he just pulled open. It’s not like Isak wasn’t used to the summer heat in Italy, it’s just that the weather has been particularly humid, even causing his hair to curl more than usual (which he doesn’t enjoy). He knows that he should enjoy it, that in the blink of an eye he’ll be back in the frigid cold of Oslo.  

The sound of a car pulling into the gravel driveway makes his thoughts come to a halt, he looks down as he watches his father’s small ’72 Fiat come to a stop near the entrance of the house. He looks towards his clock, seeing that it’s 16:00. Right on schedule. 

Isak hears his bed creek and then in a few seconds, Emma is coming up behind him, underneath his arm and looking over the side as Terje opens his car door. Isak looks down at her as she squeezes next to him, trying to get a better look at who’s arrived. 

He was much too tired and hot to care about how close she is to him, and how she seemed to purposely press her side against his. He’s been here for less than a week and yet she acts as if they’re still dating, as if catching him making out with Giovanni last summer wasn’t enough of a hint for her. Isak’s strengths did not lie in his communication skills, which was also a problem.  

“Who’s with your Dad?” She asks as the passenger door opens, and a breeze begins to pick up. 

 Every summer Isak’s father gets one of his best students to join him at the villa to do research and file his paperwork. It’s a great opportunity for people who want to work in the same field. 

 “His newest apprentice, he’s going to be staying most of the summer, and before you ask - I don’t know much about him.” He teases with a light chuckle at the end, and she elbows him lightly as her cheeks go pink. Isak looks away first, gluing his eyes to the newest conversation topic of the summer. 

Out of the car steps a man who is so tall it’s comical he even fit inside the tiny car. He’s got a large beige shirt that is now billowing in the wind along with his blonde hair. He takes off his sunglasses as he rounds the car to meet Terje at the trunk to take out his luggage, a large grin on his face. He has a bounce in his step, and though their conversation is faint from where Isak is standing, it sounds like they’re already great friends. It makes Isak happy for his Dad, who’s the only one in their family even remotely interested in ancient architecture and history. Sure, it was cool, but nowhere near the way Terje thought it was cool. 

When they close the trunk, Isak’s attention is pulled to the man, standing at least two or three feet higher than his father, and he pulls his sunglasses up onto the top of his head as he looks up. Emma stands a little straighter, giving a polite smile and wave, all while Isak steps back, something odd shifting in his chest.  

Despite being a little too far to see the man clearly, he could feel something in the way their eyes met. He wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not, from the way his heart sped up a few rhythms.  

Isak stands by his doorway, composing himself, feeling the heat sinking into him, his heart and stomach sinking into the floor. 

Once Emma turns around to find where Isak had gone off to, he’s already got his usual emotionless stare back on, ignoring the way his legs shake. 

“C’mon, we should go meet him.” He says, voice monotone, as he begins to walk through the washroom that connects him to the other room, where his father’s student will be sleeping. Emma follows Isak with a hum of agreement.

They get downstairs just as Isak’s mother is finished greeting him. Isak freezes just before he steps down off the last step, hand holding onto the railing for support. He’s even more beautiful up close.  

Not only was he so tall Isak knew he’d have to crane his neck up to talk to him, but he had gorgeous blue eyes that were so big and bright, and the sunglasses in his hair held back blonde hair that Isak almost reached out to touch. He wanted to touch. Badly. 

Fuck, and Isak has to spend his whole summer now sleeping a room apart from him. 

“How was your trip?” Marianne asks, and the man gives an exaggerated sigh, placing his hands on his hips. 

“Very, very long. I’m… so exhausted.” He lets out a small chuckle. “Worth it, but I don’t think I can have a proper conversation till I’m rested.” 

 “Isak, you’ve finished setting up his room, yes?” His mother turns to him, Isak comes out of his trance to give a small, curt nod. “This is Isak, my eldest. I’m sure you’ll meet Lea soon, she’s out with her friends right now. Isak, this is--”

 “Even.” He cuts her off, “Will you show me my room?”

 Even. 

 “Yeah.” He nods, his voice cracking. Emma then steps forward from behind him, looking at Isak expectantly. “Oh... this is.. Emma.” He’d almost forgotten she was there. Even barely spares him a glance as he speaks. 

 “Emma,” He responds, shaking her hand. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He stares at her with a kind smile. She blushes at Even’s sentiment. 

 “I should get going for dinner, but it was nice to meet you.” She says before turning to quickly place a kiss on Isak’s cheek. She gave a small wave to Marianne and Terje, and reaches down to grab her backpack. 

Once she’s gone, Isak looks towards Even, who gazes back at him with a blank stare, so empty that it hurts Isak to continue looking at him. 

“Can I..take your bag up for you?” 

“Sure.” 

He grabs Even’s suitcase with a surprisingly steady hand, and leads him upstairs, nodding at his mother when she asks if he’d like a cup of iced tea. 

“Thanks man.” Even says once they enter the room that used to be Isak’s. Even plops down on the bed, emitting a small moan of comfort. He doesn’t move to get into the sheets, or take off his shoes. Half his leg still hanging off the edge of the bed. He watches his back rise and fall slowly, his breathing already even. 

“We have to share a washroom…My room is attached to it, and it’s also my only way out.” 

Isak gently places the luggage down at the foot of his bed, then takes a few quiet steps back to the doorway. He stands awkwardly for a moment, but Even has his back turned to him. Was he already sleeping? 

Isak lets the air hang, then quietly he speaks. “Dinner is at 7.” 

Even stirs slightly, turning his head to Isak. 

“Thanks, but I’ll pass for tonight.” Then he closes his eyes. 

Isak doesn’t know how to feel, standing there and watching him, this gorgeous man who is going to be prominent in everything Isak does this summer, and who might just have the worst attitude in the world. How was his father getting along with him? 

“Close your door on the way out.” He mumbles tiredly, and Isak wishes he could just fall through the floor. 

He kicks away the brick that holds the heavy wooden door open, and holds it as it quietly falls shut, lest he wake the sleeping beauty. 

xxx

 “So what’s he like?” Lea asks as she scoops in a mouthful of fresh tomatoes and basil. His mother’s hired help, Sofia, had even baked them some bread. It was Isak’s favourite, too, with sunflower seeds on top. 

 “Oh, he’s a sweet guy. Funny, too. He’s also passionate about the project, couldn’t stop talking about it during the drive here.” Terje answers animatedly, pouring wine for the three of them. He hasn’t given any to Lea yet, but Isak lets her sneak some sips whenever she wants.  

 “What? No,” Isak scoffs, surprised that none of them have seen his empty stares, or picked up on his attitude yet. “He’s an ass. He cut Mamma off mid-conversation, awkwardly made a pass on Emma, then went straight to bed. He didn’t even make an effort to come to dinner.”

 “Nei, give the man a break. He’s been on a long flight from America, he’s just tired.” Terje argues back, and Lea looks to Isak, already reeling from the gossip. She probably couldn’t wait to go out later and tell all her teen friends about him. She hadn’t even seen him yet - when she does, Isak knows everyone is going to go crazy. He doesn’t let himself linger on the thought for long. 

“I won’t let him be such an ass. We’re letting him stay here all summer rent-free, the least he could do is be appreciative.” He rolls his eyes, looking towards his mother for help, but both of his parents are looking at him like he’s grown a second head. 

“Appreciative? He’s more than appreciative, Isak. Why would you think he isn’t?” 

He’s quiet, picking up his wine and taking a sip, a moment of quiet contemplation. Lea is sitting on the edge of her seat. 

“It’s just... a vibe I get. Be cautious.” 

“Ooh, so he’s mysterious?” Lea smiles slowly, and Marianne lets out a small chuckle, and Isak lets out an exaggerated choking sound.  

“He’s too old for you, Lea.”  

“I’m turning 16 in October.” 

“Yeah? Well he’s probably turning like, 35.”

“22, actually. He graduated from his Masters early.” Terje sips his wine. 

Oh, so he’s hot and intelligent? Isak wants his brain to melt at the mere thought, and it nearly does. 

“I could probably marry him in a few years.” 

“Please do not. I will literally get him arrested if that happens.”

“Oh Isak, stop being so dramatic.” Marianne shakes her head. “I’m sure, come breakfast, your opinion of him will change. 

“Highly doubtful outcome, but sure.” Isak stabs his tomato with his fork and eats it with a distasteful pout on his features, which lingers for the rest of the evening. 

xxx 

Isak wakes up at 9:00, feeling weighted with sweat despite only wearing his boxers to bed. He shuffles a little, feeling too uncomfortable to fall back asleep. He sits up after a few more minutes of desperately trying to sleep, and shuffles into the too-bright bathroom. The door to Even’s side is open, and he sees that the bed is unoccupied, the heavy door now held open by the brick. It’s bright, the window open, the suitcase having seemingly been unpacked. It's clean, and neat.

He hopes Sofia didn’t come and do it for him. Isak guessed he would be the type to live out of his suitcase all summer instead, he sure seemed like the type. He knows its wrong to make assumptions about someone he only just met, but he can’t help but feel disdain towards him. 

He turns to face himself in the mirror, his hair a wild curly mess from the humidity, his eyes practically still shut from sleeping. He brushes his teeth and takes a quick cold shower to feel fresh and wake up before he changes into swim shorts and a tank. He’d gotten a text from a group of Italian boys he hangs out with when he’s here, asking to meet at the quarry today. They promised wine and cigarettes, so Isak was excited.  

He goes downstairs, following the sound of animated voices, passing through the kitchen and he stops to greet Sofia before going out onto the patio. 

Sitting at the head of the table is Terje, and opposite to him is Even, which is usually Isak’s spot. Despite his back being to him, he still somehow takes Isak’s breath away. Maybe it’s the way the light hits him that makes it look like he’s glowing or something. 

Today, his shirt is a pastel green, and somehow around Even, the wind always picks up. Isak’s heart rate does too, but he ignores it as he goes to sit. 

Even is in the middle of a story, as all his family sits listening intently, smiles on their faces, looking at him like he’s saved a million babies from a burning building. Weird analogy, but Isak thinks it works. They don’t even look up as Isak approaches, pulling out the chair next to Lea as he waits for his breakfast, having asked Sofia for scrambled eggs and OJ. 

“So anyway, after having travelled at least 20 miles already in the dry heat of the desert, my buddy and I have run out of water, and we both think we’re beginning to hallucinate because in the distance we see these llamas approaching us, and it’s not until we get closer that we realize there is a man with them, and they weren’t actually llamas, it was camels.” He pauses for a moment as everyone laughs, and it’s only then that Isak realizes he’s smoking a cigarette, as he brings it to his lips and takes a pull. Isak can’t help but stare as he blows out the smoke, mesmerized. 

“So, he approaches us and sees these two Norwegian dudes that have no idea where they’re going, completely dehydrated, and literally picks us up onto his camels, and rides us back to his house. In the morning we wake up and find that we’ve been brought to a village, and these people were so incredible. They let us stay for over a week, but I swear I could’ve just lived there forever, it was too bad we had to catch a flight. I’ve never eaten better food in my life - although I’m sure there’s great food here, too.“  He smiles brightly, and Lea all but begins clapping, looking towards Marianne like she’s found God and he’s sitting in Isak’s chair.  

Isak sits there dumbfounded, completely unmoved and lost at how his family finds anything he says remotely interesting. He has to check himself for a moment, hoping he doesn’t look to obvious, sitting with his mouth hanging open and staring at Even. Sure, he’s gorgeous, but everything that comes out of his mouth sounds so arrogant to Isak. How are they not hearing it, too? 

“Wow. Well, that’s just an incredible story, and the pictures you took definitely prove it.” Terje praises, and Marianne nods as she drinks her espresso. 

 “You’re amazing at photography. It’s also something I’ve been interested in lately.” Lea says, and Isak stops himself before he rolls his eyes. 

“Since when?” Isak remarks, and Lea pinches his leg.

“Thank you Lea. If you ever want any tips, just let me know.” He replied sweetly, and Isak gives Even a dead stare. 

“Isak, how was your sleep? Is the mattress okay?” Marianne asks. 

 “Fine, I guess. It’s hot as hell though.” Isak says just as Sofia hands him his breakfast, and he gives her a small smile.

“Nowhere near as hot as the Sahara.” Even says, and the table erupts into chuckles, all except for Isak, whose smile drops as he stares at Even, who is practically sparkling with the attention.  

Even looks over at Isak then, raising an eyebrow, and though its brief, Isak can feel his stomach sinking into the floor again. Just before he looks away from Even, he can see the smile on his face falter, but it picks up again when Terje begins asking him more about the trip. 

After that, he spends most of the breakfast staring down at his eggs. 

xxx 

“So, what’s he like?” Jonas asks, his hair dripping wet after climbing out of the water to sit next to Isak on the grass, who has yet to jump in. The other boys are swimming still, enjoying it too much to return to the heat.  

Jonas is one of Isak’s closest friends in Italy, and the only one he keeps in contact with most of the year, sending postcards his way whenever he gets a chance to. Despite living more than a few towns over, he always comes to visit whenever Isak is here.  

Isak used to have a crush on him, a crush that would keep him up at night and sometimes make him cry, but that has long since diminished. Still, Isak can admit that Jonas becomes more handsome every summer, his eyes brighter, his mind wiser. Isak misses their late-night chats when he’s back in Oslo, freezing from the cold and wishing for the heat.  

“He’s a fucking asshole. And no one else can see it but me. Everyone thinks he’s so cool like ‘Oh Even, your travel stories are so cool’ or, ‘Even, you’re so good at photography’, ‘oh Even come take a look at my peach trees’.” Isak stops speaking then, huffing out a sigh as he fishes in Jonas’ backpack for his promised cigarettes. He needs nicotine now before his hands shake any more.  

“He’s made quite an impression on you already.” Jonas laughs, and Isak looks at him with disgust. His mind wanders for a second, to the look in Even’s eyes at breakfast, sparkling at him, and he forces the thought away. 

“Yeah. I hate him.”  

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours.”

“All I needed was one minute to see through him. He’s got everyone under some kind of spell, I swear.”

Jonas leans back on his elbows, his skin shining in the sun. He closes his eyes, soaking up the heat. Isak used to stare at Jonas during moments like this, but now he instead looks out over the lake, taking a pull of the cigarette, welcoming the burn.  

“Can’t wait to meet him. You should’ve brought him today.” 

“Ugh, and ruin everyone else’s day too?”

Jonas chuckles, opening one eye with a squint to look at Isak. 

“Always so dramatic.”

xxx 

Isak is almost thankful when he returns home to find that Even isn’t there and that he’s also ‘passing’ on tonight’s dinner as well. He even told his mother to not “wait up for him”. It made Isak’s chest hurt and his blood boil.  

“Emma stopped by, told her you were out with the boys so she hung out with me instead,” Lea says it as if she’s rubbing it in Isak’s face.

“Cool.” He responds as monotone as possible, giving a shrug as he takes a bite of pesto ravioli. 

“And, she also told me she thinks Even is really cute.” 

“Too bad he’s an asshole.”

“Isak, don’t speak about our guest like that,” Terje says as he tchs at Isak.  

“What? Since you all love him it’s unfair of me to dislike him?”

“Nei, but I don’t see any reason to dislike him. So until he gives you a proper reason, I don’t want to see you pouting all summer.” 

“Fine.” Isak relents, feeling childish. 

The conversation carries on, and though he tunes it out he can hear how excited Terje is for his studies. Isak figures he could try to make an effort, at least for his Dad. 

Lea stops talking about Even eventually, and they end up returning back to the family room for a movie night.  

It’s nice, and for the first time all day, Isak finds himself laughing along to whatever dumb Italian movie they’re watching, lying close to his Mom as she plays with his hair, his legs stretched across the couch.  

Marianne looks towards the piano, silently asking Isak to play something, but he pretends he doesn’t notice. 

xxx 

A few days pass, and Even spends his days in Terje’s office, the two of them doing research. At lunch, they come out to have a drink and some food before returning to the office. By dinner, Even has left, gone to the town to spend his night yet again and not coming back till early morning, which is when Isak finally falls asleep.  

So far, everyone Even meets has equally fallen in love with him, but Isak refuses to change his opinion. He just doesn’t show it to appease his parents. 

A day comes where Isak wakes up late and he hears an unfamiliar laugh coming from the garden, and he looks out his window to find a woman, standing next to Even, holding onto his bicep as he plucks a pair of peaches with one hand, giving one to her with a gentle smile.  

“Hva faen?!” Isak shouts suddenly, then quickly slaps a hand over his mouth and ducks from the window, eyes widening as he begins to nearly meltdown with his anger at himself. Hva faen yourself, Isak, he thinks. 

He army crawls away from the window, and into the washroom, quietly and quickly closing the doors on either side. He hopes to God no one heard him and paid no mind to his outburst in broad daylight with his head hanging out the window. 

What’s worse is that no so far off in the distance, his parents were watching, looking at the two of them fondly. Like he’s their actual son, bringing home a girl to meet the parents. Not to mention how abnormally large the peaches are, and the fact that Even can hold two with one hand makes Isak’s throat dry. Is she the reason Even is gone every night? The thought makes Isak’s stomach turn. 

He tries not to hyperventilate too much, turning on the shower and the sink, not caring if the water bill runs high this month because he doesn’t want anyone to hear how loud his heart is beating. 

Eventually, he steps into the shower, the room is steamy but the water is running cold. He’s going to have to apologize to Sofia profusely for using up all the hot water so early in the day. 

When he steps out, he feels a little more clear-headed, only because he’s so frozen he can’t think properly just yet. So, he brushes his teeth and his hair, wondering if he should just go buzz it all off at Antonio’s barbershop. 

He opens the door out into his side of the room and then pauses in his steps. Emma is sitting on the bed, wearing a flowery yellow sundress and a few dainty rings. By her sandals off to the side of the bed is a knitted bag with many, many buttons on it.  

 She looks up from where she’s reading her book, an English copy of The Great Gatsby that Isak bought her on a trip to New York a few years ago. She gives him a sheepish smile, and he rolls his eyes.  

“Give a man a minute, will you?” He grumbles, stomping past her angrily, making his way to his dresser to grab some swim shorts and a tank. He holds his towel tightly with one fist, and she suddenly starts laughing, her book left upside down, and Isak looks at her curiously. 

“Is there a man in here? Where? All I see is you , being dramatic…” She looks away for a moment, then chuckles again, “What were you screaming about?”

 “Emma, I just woke up. What did I do to deserve such a roast?” He looks at her in mock anger, despite her jab at him making him laugh, he was overwhelmed with his nerves that if she had heard him scream… did the others hear it too?

Did Even see him scream what the fuck! at the top of his lungs after seeing him be affectionate towards a woman? Why is Isak such an angry brat all the fucking time? Why does Even make him so angry?  

He can’t deny that during the time Even has spent here, Isak’s curiosity of him has only grown into something that he didn’t want to admit to. 

As if Even would ever be more than Isak was hoping and dreaming he’d be. 

“What screaming?” Isak responds. “I didn’t scream.”

“Did you see a spider or something? I know you don’t like those.”  

“Nei, nei. I didn’t scream.” He shakes his head, droplets of water falling from his curls. Her eyes follow him as he makes his way back to the washroom to get dressed, as Isak no longer wants to continue having a conversation with anyone while mostly nude. 

“Fine, don’t tell me… Do you want to go swimming at the beaches? A few of us are meeting there around 7.”  

“What time is it now?” He asks tiredly, already exhausted from this amount of socializing. He didn’t really want to leave his room today.  

“Almost 1, aren’t you hungry?”  

He shrugs, and then she points to the washroom. 

“Ok, go change, then we’ll go get something to eat before the beaches, yes?” 

 He looks at Emma, this girl who looks at him like he carries the world on his shoulders, and she’s ready to drop everything to do it with him. He wonders what it must be like, to feel that way about someone and know they don’t feel that way back. That they will never want you to be the one to share their burdens, their lives, their touch. 

Oh. That is how this feels, huh? He hates it, he imagines that Emma hates it too. 

 He frowns, contemplating ways to say No, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can hold the world up any longer, Emma. I feel like I’m bursting at my seams. But nothing really felt right to say out loud, he didn’t want to make the words more real than they should be. Just like he didn’t want to admit to whatever feelings were bubbling inside of his core since the moment he met Even. 

So he nods, and she does a little happy shimmy in response.

He changes quickly. 

xxx 

After having lunch with Sofia inside, the three of them eating an ‘everything’ sandwich (they couldn’t decide on what to put in it, and the experiment was born), Isak spends some time out by the pool with Emma. Marianne comes to say good afternoon with a  kiss to his head, but Terje, Even, and his mysterious woman are nowhere in sight. Isak is thankful, he at least can get a few peaceful moments withou-

A loud, gorgeous laugh comes from around the corner of the house, where the three of them suddenly emerge, Terje and the woman looking at Even like he holds the sun. He does. He glows with it. But so much brighter. 

If Isak holds the world, and Even holds the sun, does that mean Even will burn him? Has he already made a mark? Is that why Isak feels so numb? 

At that thought, Isak, who has yet to actually go into the water, takes a deep heaving breath, and falls off the edge with a loud splash, not even taking off his tank. His back hits the water painfully, but he quickly begins to sink down, the sharp pain only forcing him back to reality sooner than later. 

He closes his eyes and lets his breath go slowly as he sinks further into the cool depths. The nice thing about their pool was that despite it being small, it was deep, dug out of an old well that was no longer needed on this part of the property. There used to be a rope swing, but then both Isak and Lea became too old to use it. 

Eventually, he gets to a deep point, his ears ringing and his chest burning. He opens his eyes to see Emma swimming down towards him, and she grabs him quickly, swimming up fast with him to the surface. 

“Stand back, I’m trained in first-aid.” is the first thing Isak hears when he comes to the surface, and fuck. It’s Even, rolling up the sleeves of his big yellow shirt. Where the fuck does he shop? The Tall and Billowy Shirt store? Isak lets out a chuckle, and then they all look towards him. Please be dreaming, Isak internally begs. They all look mortified, and Even’s stare is the one that he feels the most. 

“Are you okay!?” Emma asks, looking at him frantically.  

“Yeah, why? I was literally under the water for less than a minute. You know I can go up to four minutes at least .” 

“Holy shit, Isak! The way you fell into the water and started sinking scared us all half to death!” She yells at him, splashing him in the face with water before swimming to the side and pulling herself out quickly, glaring at him. They all watch as she walks away quickly, leaving wet footprints in her wake. 

“I’ll go follow her.” The woman says before she takes off, grabbing a beach towel that Emma left hanging off one of the patio chairs before going inside after her. 

Isak pulls himself up, looking to the two left watching. Terje looks concerned, a look Isak knows all too well by now. I’m not angry with you, I just want to make sure you are making good choices.

He almost doesn’t want to look at Even, but despite having just cooled off in the pool, he can still feel the burn of Even’s stare. Isak’s feels like Even’s stare is a part of him now. Do you burn everyone you look at?

 He looks at Isak with amusement, some concern as well, but where Isak was expecting a look of annoyance, he can only see fascination. 

“Why is she so mad? I just jumped in the water like I usually do.” He shrugs, feeling too constricted in his wet tank that clings to his chest. 

“Why on Earth would someone just…fall back into the pool as if they’ve just gotten knocked out?” Terje says, and Isak raises his eyebrows, trying not to laugh. 

 “Spontaneity?” He responds, and Terje sighs. 

“Just, don’t do it again. Or warn us next time.” He smiles tiredly and Isak nods a few times. 

 “Agreed. It hurt quite a bit.” 

 “Spontaneous things sometimes do, son.”  

Terje’s words stick to Isak’s mind for the rest of the day. When he goes to apologize to Emma for scaring her, she ends up apologizing too for being so angry. Isak wraps his arms around her and gives her a long hug. 

“No matter what happens in our lives, can we always stay friends, Emma?” He asks. 

 “Of course, Isak.”

They pull apart, and Isak sighs, relieved. 

“Good, I need a personal lifeguard.” She feigns shock at his words, though she’s trying not to laugh. He continues. “I don’t think anyone can swim faster than you, so if I ever need saving-“

She punches him in the arm, and he bursts out laughing, a sound he hasn’t heard himself make in a very long time. 

Friends. Good. 

The mysterious woman ends up being Emma’s cousin Giulia, who is only staying with them for a few days, and the thought of her not being the woman Even sneaks out every night to meet is comforting, if only a little. 

xxx 

After collecting their things, Isak and Emma bike out to the agreed meeting spot for tonight’s plans. 

When they get there, a few others have arrived already, and they’re trying to get the bonfire lit. Emma gets the music set up with her mini radio and set of cassettes she brought. 

The night really begins for Isak when Jonas arrives, bringing some weed for them to smoke. Isak has no Idea where he gets it, but he thinks he might have a secret plant somewhere on his property. 

Regardless, he becomes a lot less grumpy afterword, letting Emma borrow his sweater when she gets cold, and despite Jonas’ odd looks towards him at the gesture, he just shrugs nonchalantly. 

“I hope you and Emma are on the same page, Isak.” Jonas says, holding the radio in his hand and a bottle of his grandfather’s wine in the other. At some point, he always ends up carrying the music right next to him, needing to feel the music as well as hear it, and it’s the most hippie thing that Isak has ever witnessed. But it’s also such a Jonas thing that nobody pays much mind to it. 

“Of course.”

“If you say so.”

Isak quirks his lips and rolls his eyes. “She knows I’m not interested in her like that.”

“If you say so.” Jonas brings the wine to his mouth and takes a swig, his circular sunglasses falling from his forehead and back over his eyes. 

“Ugh - look who’s the dramatic one now.” 

xxx

People begin to slowly say their goodbyes at around 2AM, and Isak hitches a ride to Arielle’s house, who’s the one person he knows that lives closest to him, and then bikes the rest of the way back.  

When he arrives back home, he hears some music being played in the backyard, and he follows the sound through the house to find Even, listening to a vinyl and smoking a cigar. 

He doesn’t notice him there for a few moments, but then Isak swats at a bug and accidentally hits himself on the nose. Even looks at him just as he recovers, his cheeks already hot from how stupid he can be.

“Oh...Hey, sorry, thought maybe you’d be my father...” Isak puts his hands behind his back, laughing nervously at Even, who looks at him blankly. “So uh...goodnight." He does a little salute, and is about to turn on his heel when Even responds. 

 “Come sit for a bit.” He commands, and Isak glances between him and the dark hallways inside the house. One obviously looks better than the other. “I don’t bite.” He says jokingly. Isak's legs move for him, and he goes to sit at the spot next to Even, looking off into the dark, trying not to get overwhelmed by their proximity. 

“How was your night?” Even asks, blowing out a few rings of smoke. Isak’s eyes keep fluttering between the dark garden to Even and back again, not wanting to get caught staring for too long. 

“Oh..fine. Drank, smoked a little. No complaints.”  

Even hums as he puts his lips around the cigar, his cheeks hollowing as he pulls in the smoke, and Isak is mesmerized once again. 

 “Sounds nice.” 

 “Uh…what about you?” 

 “Eh, kinda boring. Except for this one part today where my colleague’s son tried to drown himself.”

 “I did not!” Isak exclaims, “And everyone calls me dramatic.”

 “Do they actually? How fitting.” He responds in a manner that makes Isak want to giggle and blush. He doesn’t giggle, but he does blush, feeling the heat rise on his cheeks and his ears. 

“I just wanted to cool off…I didn’t mean to make a scene.”

“Why, did something make you hot and bothered?” He asks in amusement, and Isak doesn’t know whether he’s being serious or not. He’s left the cigar in the ashtray now, still burning a thin line of smoke that Isak tries his best to stare at, but instead gets caught in the way Even is watching him. 

 He meets his eyes a little shyly, and Even’s playful smirk makes Isak give in. 

 “Nei.” He responds firmly, although it doesn’t sound too convincing. “I don’t get hot and bothered, I get cool and comfortable.” 

 And Holy Mother, Isak wants to get thrown up into the atmosphere. What the fuck prompted him to say something so weird? Why didn’t he rehearse this in his mind beforehand? He’s already played many scenarios over in his mind of himself and Even, most of them involving things other than actually speaking to one another. 

 Even’s laughter brings him out of his not-so-subtle scare, and Isak chuckles back nervously. 

 “Cool and comfortable, huh? Quite the talent you got there.” He raises a leg up onto his chair, one arm wrapped around it, and rests his cheek on his knee, continuing to look at Isak. Under the dim yellow of the porch light, the sound of cicadas filling the silence, Isak lets himself indulge. He lets himself stare without caring too much. 

 He wishes he could be like Even, who seems to not care that he’s blatantly staring straight into Isak’s soul. The confidence comes off of him in waves, and despite trying to desperately hate the man sitting across from him, Isak can’t help but want him more than anything. 

 “I have many talents, Even. Being cool and comfortable is just my nature.” 

Even laughs. 

“Stop laughing! You don’t think I’m cool and comfortable?”

“Up until this moment, I didn’t really know what to think of you, Isak.” 

Isak looks up to the sky then, and Even’s stare instantly follows to where Isak is looking, then back to him.  

“What are you looking at?” 

“The infinite.” 

Even hums, and the moment hangs for a few spins of the vinyl, the air around them as cool and comfortable as it ever has been before. It makes Isak’s breathing a little sharper at the realization.

"I like the way you say things.” He says, and Isak’s neck snaps to him. “I don’t know why you’re putting yourself down all the time.”  

Even’s eyes meet his, and though he’s smiling, it almost looks like he’s worried about him. He wonders what kinds of things his father has told him about Isak, and he can only imagine what he's heard - how Isak drifts from passion to passion, his latest and most frequent being his love of music, which he has left abandoned for months now.  

“So other people won’t, I guess?”  

“Other people like…Emma?” He questions.

“You,” Isak responds without missing a beat.  

The vinyl comes to an end, and the record makes a few blips before it clicks to a stop. 

“You really afraid of what I think?” 

“I guess so.” Isak shrugs, staring down at his hands which he's clasped together so tightly, keeping him grounded. The air hangs with intensity, and he yawns. He lets the silence continue and then stands, unable to bear it any longer. 

“I should go to bed.” He says it but doesn’t mean it. Ask me to stay.

“Sure.” He picks up his cigar again, and with one hand he leans over to flip the vinyl and play the backside. “Sleep well, Isak.”

“Goodnight.” 

His legs feel heavy as they carry him to bed. 

Chapter Text

“I like the way you say things.”

He likes the way I say things?

Isak laid in bed the following morning when he finally woke, head throbbing, keeping his eyes closed to prevent any chance of sunlight getting through, thinking endlessly over the conversation he’d had with Even, trying to make sense of it all. Trying to find a reason to stop being so annoyingly attracted to him. 

“You really afraid of what I think?” 

I’m afraid of how much I care about what you think. 

Isak turns over, his blankets curling around him and he groans into his pillow, feeling sticky with sweat and heavy with sleep. He knows he should force himself up, use his strength to collect himself and take a cold shower. 

 “Sleep well, Isak.”

How can I sleep, knowing you exist and knowing I can’t have you. 

He rolls again, and miscalculates, rolling off the bed completely and falling with a thump to his floor. 

“Ugh,” He sits up, his hair sticking up one side and he rubs at his shoulder where he landed more prominently and listens to make sure no one is rushing to see if he’s okay - and when he realizes that it’s probably the afternoon, and nobody will have heard him fall, he gets up. Not his most graceful morning, but at least it woke him up. 

He blames his earlier thoughts on his state of mind - being half awake and half in a dream doesn’t help one’s rationality. You’re not attracted to him Isak, are you? You don’t care about what that asshole thinks, do you? 

Even Isak’s own thoughts were unsure of what he wanted. 

xxx

A few days later, Isak was sitting by their small pool reading one of his mother’s novels, legs dangling in to keep cool as Lea’s friends swim around him. They’re all sipping on fresh lemonade and basking in each moment that a light breeze passes, and despite Even being only twenty feet away from them, Isak couldn’t drown out the sound of them all gushing over how gorgeous Even is. 

As if Isak , of all people, didn’t fucking know how gorgeous Even was. It was all he could think about. 

He was tortured by his thoughts all day long, and at night he’d lie awake in agony until he heard Even finally arrive back home, around 3 or 4 in the morning, and only then would he be able to fall asleep. 

He tried so desperately to read the novel placed in front of him, but then again, Even was only twenty feet away from him, and currently wearing a pair of incredibly short salmon-colored swim trunks that Isak thought hugged his ass really, really well. 

He was playing a game of soccer with the teen boys, running around with a bright smile and occasionally letting out such a loud and stunning laugh that it would startle Isak, who had only just begun to forget about him for the thousandth time in a minute. It was exhausting trying not to think about him. 

Isak knew he wouldn’t be able to focus right now, but thankfully, he was able to keep his cool. 

Isak was wearing his sunglasses and stole more than a few glances whenever Even bent over to grab the ball, standing to kick it back into the game. The ball made such a loud thump when he hit it, and Isak didn’t know why the idea of Even being so powerful to kick the ball so hard turned him on ever so slightly. 

But no one else had to know that. 

He was so focused on trying to read the same sentence over and over that he didn’t even realize that when the sun got blocked out from a cloud, that it wasn’t a cloud at all. It was Even, looming over him with a hand reached down to Isak, the other on his hip, his chest heaving from the running. Isak is thankful for his sunglasses, to hide the way his eyes widen. How is he always glowing? is the first thought to come to Isak’s mind. 

Seeing him so up close made Isak’s mouth dry. Despite already having gotten a nice tan (despite being inside most of the day, too), the underside of Even’s arms have stayed nearly milky white, along with the inner-sides of his thighs. Isak wanted to feel the skin there, run his fingers along the tan lines and revel in the way he might leave some prints if he pressed hard enough. 

The way he looked down at Isak, with his sparkling eyes and heaving chest, Isak feels like he’s dreaming. How is this Adonis of a man even in Isak’s presence right now? 

“Earth to Isak? Can I please have some aqua?” The way he says it makes Lea’s friends giggle, and Isak all but scowls at him, cursing at himself for getting too caught up. He’d forgotten that all Even has to do is open his mouth, and then all of Isak’s dreams get crushed. 

He stands, feeling a little weak in the knees as he does, taking his water bottle up with him, handing it to Even who nods a thanks and begins to gulp it down. He hands it back to Isak completely drained. 

“Thanks.” He places his hand on Isak’s shoulder, and it’s the first time he’s ever had any actual contact with him. Isak would remember if they’ve touched before, because he’s never felt anything quite like this. 

His hand is soft and heavy, but so hot it practically ignites a fire where it’s placed on his shoulder. Isak instinctively shifts a little uncomfortably, and Even’s fingers squeeze. 

“Woah, your shoulders are so tense. Here.” 

His fingers stay, palm pressed into his back, and steps closer, his other hand coming to rest on his other shoulder. Even’s chest is almost pressed against his back, their bodies so close that Isak can feel the heat radiating off of Even, nearly feel the sweat on his skin. All ten of his fingers, a few of them calloused only slightly, knead into Isak’s shoulders. 

He looks at Isak with concern before he begins speaking, and Isak is so frozen in place, his whole body tensed up and all he can do is stand there, choking back a near moan at the feeling of Even’s hands on him. 

“I studied shiatsu when I was in Japan, it’s crazy interesting all the things we can do with just a little bit of… touch and pressure.” He says, his voice dropping a little lower and Isak doesn’t know how his knees haven’t given out yet. 

His mind certainly has, no longer thinking about how terribly arrogant of a person Even seems to be, but instead how good his fingers feel, how good they would feel everywhere.  

“I’m good. Thanks.” Despite the last thing Isak wanted was for him to ever let go of him, Isak moves away. He quickly turns on his heel and runs to the kitchen, running to get something that will cool him down and somewhere dark where he could hyperventilate. 

He doesn’t look back at Even, but when he looks out the kitchen window while drinking a cold beer, he sees him back to playing soccer, jumping around in his tight little shorts like he knows he looks good. Like he knows Isak is watching. 

He is, but no one has to know that. 

He goes upstairs with his legs feeling they’re going to collapse with each step, and quickly takes a cold shower before falling into his bed for a nap. 

xxx

Isak goes downstairs after his nap to find his friends all lounging on the patio, chatting with Even who seems to have just made the greatest joke ever as they all laugh wildly. It only makes him slightly jealous. Of course, they love him too. 

“Isak!” Jonas shouts, “Finally blessing us with your presence.” 

“Shut up.” Isak groans tiredly, pulling out a chair and sitting down. Even raises a brow at him, looking amused. Isak glares back and Even looks to Jonas instead. 

“Tonight is Anna’s birthday, don’t you remember? We have to go soon.”

“Sorry, I’ve been sleeping.” 

“All afternoon? We’ve been here for like, almost two hours.” Magnus chimes and Isak nods, too tired to bother with the banter, especially with Even sitting so close to him. 

“Perfect, then you’ll have loads of energy to join us. Even is going to come, too.”

“If that’s alright.” He says, and Isak doesn’t realize it’s directed at him until their eyes meet. 

A few moments pass and Isak just stares blankly. Even doesn’t make a move to look away, he just waits patiently. There’s a sparkle in his eye again, making Isak melt just a little, just enough. 

“Sure. Whatever.”

Jonas gives Isak a weird look, silently asking him if he’s alright. Isak just dismisses it, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“Cool. I’m excited to experience some of the nightlife. I’ll make sure to bring my camera.” He says, as if he doesn’t go out every night. Isak almost rolls his eyes, but holds back, not wanting to have Jonas on his case. 

xxx

The night is interesting, to say the least. Isak is near drunk off of wine and beer, sitting on an outdoor patio, smoking a cigarette with Emma, and watching Even dance. 

He’s been dancing for twenty minutes now, moving from group to group of people who he doesn’t know, but they all accept him easily. He’s gorgeous, effortlessly stealing the attention of everyone he comes near, forcing Isak into a near meltdown. He sucks on the cigarette desperately, feeling the burn of it go down his throat and into his lungs.  

It isn’t until Isak watches a woman approach him, whispering something to him, and begin dancing with him, that Isak decides he’s seen enough. 

He stands, getting a little dizzy from doing it too quickly, and puts his hand out for Emma.

“Want to dance?” 

She nods, giving him a sweet smile and follows him out onto the dance floor, taking his hand and holding it tight. With all the sweaty bodies around them, they get pushed closer to one another, Emma put her arms around his neck, and he holds her close, too. He’s unsure why he feels like doing this, but there’s a burning sensation in his chest and at the back of his head that carries him through it. 

He turns to look around, and when he catches Even’s eyes, he feels a familiar sink in his stomach. 

Even stares, or more like glares, as Emma and Isak dance, and Isak can’t help but glare back. What the fuck is his problem? 

Even looks away first, still dancing with the woman who slowly begins to put her hands on him, and Isak grips onto Emma. 

“Isak?” She says, shouting slightly over the music. 

“Yeah?” He looks at her absently and thinks back to what Jonas had said. Are we on the same page?

He doesn’t really know if Emma is what he wants or not, not understanding why he doesn’t want her at all. And it’s not like she is to blame, she’s a great friend to Isak. Always has been, and Isak hopes she always will be. He used to think he liked her, so why did he stop? His brain is throbbing from the music and overthinking, so instead, he just gives in. 

He doesn’t care about how it feels like his mind is sinking, how she presses herself against him in an attempt to deepen the kiss and Isak feels nothing. Isak opens his eyes as she kisses him, looking around the dance floor again, moving his mouth absently and out of sync with hers. 

He finds Even easily, watching as he too is now kissing the random woman from earlier.

What he doesn’t expect is for Even to open his eyes as well, and stare directly at Isak. 

He doesn’t know if he’s imagining it or not, but he goes with it, sliding his tongue alongside Emma’s, an odd tingling sensation beginning to flow through Isak’s veins at the prospect of being the one Even is looking at. 

Something in the way he stares at Isak, his cheeks hollowing and eyes narrowing, make Isak want to play along, see how long the staring contest could last. 

He holds his stare, making sure that he’s not just drunkenly imagining this, and his mind is put to ease as Even gives him a wink. 

It's overwhelming and every inch of him is on fire. 

He pulls away from Emma, and she gives him a smile. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel too good. I think I need to go home.” 

“Okay.” She says quickly, a worrisome look taking over. “Want me to come?”

“No no, you enjoy the night, it’s still early. I just need to…sleep it off.” 

“Okay...I’ll stop by tomorrow?”

He nods, and thankful for how understanding she always is but already dreading the next day. 

He leaves her there on the dance floor alone and goes to find Jonas to say goodbye. He gives Anna one last birthday wish and then heads to his bike, riding home before he can be distracted anymore. 

xxx

The house is dark when Isak returns, and he pads down the halls as quietly as possible, thankful he’s not too drunk, the bike ride home sobering him or else this would’ve been a difficult mission. He makes it to his room, or, Even’s room quickly. 

Hanging off the edge of Even’s bed is his swim trunks, the small pink ones that Isak hasn’t been able to stop thinking about. He’s about to walk past them when he stops instead, listening for any sound in the house before he reaches out and touches them. 

He hopes Even is still at the party. 

Isak mind replays the earlier events on the dance floor as he runs his hands over the fabric of the shorts, standing in the darkness alone as adrenaline pumps through him. He brings the shorts to his cheek, and can’t help it as he runs his face across them, breathing uneven as his pants begin to get unbearably tight. 

His eyes flutter shut, the scent of Even is overwhelming, and he thinks about the way he looked at him, thinks about how it would feel to be the one pressed up against him, holding him tight, having Even’s wet lips kissing him all over. 

He places the shorts back down on the bed and steps into his room, shutting the door quietly before he gets onto the bed, his whole body pulsing with want and he doesn’t feel ashamed, not yet at least. 

He gets himself off before going to bed, and he’s content for a short time.

xxx

It's not until the morning that the regret sets in, as do his nerves.

When Isak sits down at the patio table in the morning, he nearly falls over when Even addresses him. He had already planned to not make any contact with him whatsoever, too confused about the events of the night, too ashamed about what he did after. 

“Morgen, Isak. I was hoping you would be able to take me to the bank today.” He says casually, biting into a piece of toast and looking expectantly at Isak. Something in the way he stares makes Isak feel like he knows. He knows exactly what Isak is thinking, entranced by the way his jaw clenches with every bite. 

“Uh..sure?” 

“Thanks, I’d appreciate the help.” 

Terje is beaming at the conversation, as for most of the time, Isak barely contributes.

“I thought you’d mapped out the city by now.” Isak comments before taking a bite of his egg and Lea kicks him. “Wha’d I say?” He says with a mouthful. 

“I’m pretty close to it. But, unfortunately, I don’t think my Italian is as good as yours, so if I want to open an account I need a translator.” 

“Lea is busy with friends today, and you two haven’t really spent much time together, so we figured it’d be great if you showed him around!” Marianne says, and Isak tries not to glare. 

“Ah… Sure thing.” Isak bows his head and then tunes out whatever the conversation continues on to, something about Lea’s friends, and whoever they’re having over for dinner sometime next week. 

Isak packs two water bottles and a few slices of cantaloupe along with his swim trunks in his backpack before meeting Even outside the front gate, already waiting with two bikes sitting on the curb. 

Even adjusts his bike so his long legs can stretch comfortably, yet he still looks too tall for it. 

“How tall are you?” 

“6’2’’, why?” Even says, a small curious smirk playing across his features. Goddamn, how can one person look so perfect at all times? Not to mention how bright his eyes are today, as he’s wearing a blue billowy shirt that nearly matches the color. Isak lets himself stare a little longer than necessary. 

Nothing can really match the blue of Even’s eyes. Not the sky, not the ocean, not his blue shirt. 

“I regret to report that the average Italian bicycle doesn’t usually go above 5’6’’. I hope it’s not too uncomfortable for you.”

Even suddenly let out a laugh, something Isak definitely wasn’t expecting, and Isak feels that sinking in his chest again, like something is shifting, searching for something. 

“Thank you, Isak. That’s so thoughtful. I’ll be fine, though.” 

Isak blames the heat for how red hot his cheeks feel. He climbs onto his bike, unsure of what to say next. He didn’t mean for it to be thoughtful. He didn’t want to make Even think he cared about him. Do I care about him? 

“The bank is about a twenty-minute ride.”

“Cool.” Even nods with a smile, and Isak looks away as fast as he can, starting to ride out down the gravel path. 

They don’t talk much as they ride, and it’s nice to ride with someone else who seems to be able to keep up the pace. 

The town is quiet when they arrive at the bank, most of the townsfolk returning home for lunch and a nap. Across from the bank is a small cafe, which in Isak’s opinion has the best biscotti's, loud music and conversation pour out the open doors and windows.  

Even places his bike against a wall along with Isak, who quickly takes out his water and takes a long gulp. 

“I’ll be right back.” Even says, ominous as ever, before he walks across the road and into the cafe. Isak is left alone, standing in the shade at least, as he hears a small eruption of greetings coming from the cafe. He stands there in quiet contemplation for a few minutes, debating whether or not to have a quick cigarette, when Even emerges, holding a huge watermelon under one arm, a smile on his face as the restaurant owner follows him out. 

“Come back soon!” He shouts after Even, who nods and waves as he makes his way back to his bike, and back to Isak. He places the watermelon in the basket in front of his bike, and it barely fits. 

He finally looks up at Isak, who stands there, more confused than ever. 

“Won it in a card game.” He says casually as if that explains anything, then points to the bank, beginning to walk back towards it. “Coming?” 

Isak follows without question.

xxx

Stepping out of the cooling air conditioning of the bank and into the summer heat leaves Isak’s mouth dry. 

“Fuck, it’s hot.” Isak groans as he walks begrudgingly to his bike, not looking forward to the ride home. He watches as Even places his bank files into his bag, slinging it onto his back before he speaks. 

“So…Lea told me you apparently have some super-secret swimming spot that you always go to. Care to share?” 

“Huh? Nei.” Isak responds almost instantly. How the fuck did she know about that spot? He’d only ever told Jonas and Emma about it. That was also where Emma caught Isak with Giovanni, did Emma possibly tell Lea about that? God, he hopes not. 

Isak picks his bike up off the wall and begins to walk away, hoping to end the conversation, but Even just follows, persisting even more. 

“Oh, you definitely do. I’d love to see it.” 

“Why?”

“Why not? If you’re trying so hard to keep it a secret, it must be really beautiful.” 

Isak stops, contemplating what to do. For some reason, there's a huge part of him that desperately wants to take Even there, and the sinking feeling comes with it. 

“It’s a bit of a bike ride. Much longer than twenty minutes.” 

“I can handle a bike ride, Isak.” 

The way he says his name makes the hair on the back of his neck stand. He swallows, a nervous lump growing in his throat. Even’s eyes continue to linger on him, and Isak lets out a shaky sigh, feeling his walls crumble around him. 

“Only if you promise not to tell anyone else about it.”

“Promise.” He nods. 

Isak begins to pedal, and Even smiles triumphantly. 

xxx

They both drop their bikes in exhaustion once Isak finally tells him they’ve arrived. From all Even can see, they’re surrounded by trees, but Isak guides him through to a little clearing where a small blue glimmering pond comes into view, deep enough to go up to their waists. High trees hang over the pond as well, keeping it mostly in the shade.

“The spring comes down from the mountain, so the water is nice.” 

“Yeah, I can see why you’d want to keep this a secret.” 

Isak turns from Even to hide the way his cheeks heat up and takes his backpack off to pull out his swim trunks. 

“You’re going to swim?” Even asks.

“You’re not?” Isak says as he lifts his shirt up and off over his head. 

“Well,” Even looks at his watch for a long time, “It’s going to be 6 soon, by the time we bike back it’ll be dinner.” He sounds like he’s trying to give a reason to leave, and Isak just scoffs. 

“And? I didn’t take you all the way here just to look at it…Plus, knowing you, you’re going to ‘pass’ on dinner anyway, so what’s the big deal?”

Even stands, looking a little taken by Isak’s comment. The air hangs between them, and Isak looks at him for so long that he’s unsure if he actually just saw the way Even’s eyes glanced him up and down, it was definitely slow enough to catch. Isak feels exposed, and he almost wants to jump into the water with his shorts on just to escape the way Even is looking at him. 

But then he laughs. 

“You’re right.” He says with a smile, and Isak begins to unbutton his shorts. “I’ll let you change.” Even adds quickly, heading back towards the bikes. He comes back when Isak has already jumped in, blissful from the cool water, and he too has changed, now wearing black swim trunks. Isak is glad he’s not wearing the small pink ones, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to remain composed, the thought alone makes him blush. 

They swim for a bit, mostly just enjoying the silence, but every time Isak gets out to take a sip of water, he can feel Even staring. He knows he’s not just going crazy, because every time he looks back at him, Even looks away, looking like he’s been caught. Sinking . 

“So uh, hows Emma?” Even asks, and Isak shakes his head, not wanting the conversation to be steered towards her in any way.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Oh, I…thought you two were dating?”

“Why would you think that?” 

“Uh..well... you’re always hanging out with her.” 

“We dated for like a week last summer but I told her I wasn’t feeling it. I’m still not feeling it, even remotely.”

“Does she know that?” He asks, his stare is intense.

“I don’t know…How are things going with my Dad?” Isak asks, and he realizes it’s the first time he’s asked anyone about the project from the way Even looks at him, surprised but content. Isak is grateful that he doesn’t push about Emma anymore, and instead, the air shifts to something less awkward and more comforting between them. 

“Really great, Terje knows so much. It’s amazing just being able to listen to him talk. I feel like I have so much to learn, and he’s a brilliant man.”

Appreciative is the only way Isak can describe Even at this moment. No hint of arrogance. Maybe, just maybe, Isak’s been reading him all wrong. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself just yet. 

He doesn’t want to believe that Even is everything Isak wants - not only is he gorgeous, but he’s a great person too - and so smart . 

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Unfortunately, none of us are as into it as he is, so I’m glad he has you.”

“What kind of things are you into?” Even swims a little closer to him. 

“Uh...maths...and music, I’ve been learning piano since I was young.”

“No way! And you haven’t played anything for me yet? I was wondering why you had a grand piano in the living room.” Even suddenly splashes him, and Isak scoffs, splashing him back. Even laughs with his head thrown back a little, looking at Isak with a sparkle in his eyes. It almost makes Isak smile back.  

“As if. I barely play anymore. I should’ve started with that.”

“Why not?”

“No inspiration.” He shrugs, and Even scoffs playfully, his smile still adamant on his features. 

“You spend all your time surrounded by life and inspiration!”

“Says you, Mr. I-Ride-Camels-and-Stuff.” 

“Great comeback, Isak.” 

Isak splashes him and Even splashes back with a laugh that turns so contagious that it finally elicits a laugh from Isak, who can’t help but let it go for a moment. Even looks like he’s won a lottery after just getting Isak to crack a grin. 

Neither of them says anything, just staring at one another until they eventually agree to get out. 

Isak is riding the adrenaline of all the time they’ve spent together, reeling on the way Even’s eyes travel over him. He doesn’t know why it feels like he’s floating now instead of sinking, but he doesn’t want to let it go. He wants to go higher. 

He falls into the grass on a spot where the sun hits, still hot and Isak lets it soak into his skin, hoping it helps him relax. He closes his eyes, the heat of the sun nowhere near compares to the heat radiating off of Even, who sits close beside him, as it seems this is the only sunny spot to lie in. 

Even settles next to him, leaning back on his elbows, but Isak stays still, hoping that he’ll remember this feeling later. The closeness. 

“I love this, Even.” 

Isak can hear the way Even’s breath hitches, and though he can’t see what Even is doing, he can feel him staring. 

“What?”

“Everything.” 

“Us, you mean?” 

Isak hears him chuckle lightly at the thought, and it makes his breath catch in his throat. 

“It’s not bad.” He shrugs, failing to hold back a smile. 

The air shifts as he feels two fingers lightly touch his thigh, his skin ignited with the heat of it, sending shivers down his spine as goosebumps rise. He lies still, refusing to open his eyes, sure that Even can see the way his heart is beating so, so intensely. 

The feeling is gone only momentarily before he feels it again at the bottom of his abdomen, the fingers slowly moving upwards, leaving a trail of fire in their wake, up across his chest and across his neck. It pauses on his chin just before they reach his lips, and Isak finally lets out a breath, mouth falling open as his eyes flutter. 

He opens his eyes slowly, feeling heavy and intense, and he’s met with Even, only a few inches away, looking down at him with heavy lids as well, his pupils blown wide. He cups Isak’s cheek softly, seemingly still unsure. He’s staring at Isak like he’s waiting for Isak to suddenly protest. 

Despite staring right at him, Isak doesn’t know if this is a dream or not. Did he slip and hit his head? Is Even really touching him like this? Leaning over him like this? Is Isak going to have a heart attack from how fast his heart is beating? 

His thumb moves across Isak’s bottom lip, and Isak can’t explain his next action in any rational way. 

He lets his mouth fall open wider, and his tongue tries to catch onto Even’s thumb. Even’s eyes narrow, and he watches in fascination as he softly presses his thumb into his mouth and Isak lets out a strained noise as he tastes it, only momentarily before Even removes his finger, looking at him a little more strained now. 

“You make things so difficult for me.” He whispers, and everything around Isak feels like its nonexistent, everything except for Even. Even. He can’t even respond. Instead, he just mewls, and he’s left feeling so vulnerable at his complete lack of words that it's nearly painful. It’s too much. It’s all too much, every single fiber of Isak’s being is on fire. 

“I do?” 

“You have no idea.” Even whispers and Isak can’t do anything but stare at Even’s lips. 

“I think I do,” Isak responds, and before he can do anything else, try to find the strength to surge forward and capture his lips, Even moves away. He only sits up, and moves a few scooches over, but Isak feels cold. He feels sick with it, frozen to his core. 

“No, you don’t.” His voice is firm. "We should go." 

Isak’s head falls back in the grass and he lets out a desperate laugh, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. 

“So you’re telling me you’re not hard right now?” Isak asks, and fuck it if it may just be the weirdest question he’s ever had to ask, but he needs to. He wants this, he wants everything Even will give him. 

“Isak!” Even shakes his head. But he doesn’t say anything else, and the silence is deafening. 

"Let's go.” Even repeats. His voice cracks, the only sliver of hope he gives Isak is that his firm resolve is cracking. 

“Why?” Isak doesn't enjoy the sound of his own voice. It gives him away, too, just as Even's does. 

“Because Isak...I can’t be doing this. I'm sorry to have started this at all. It was stupid and irrational-” He stands up, and Isak sits there, jaw clenching as he fumes. 

“Doing what? Hooking up? You have no problem with hooking up with every other person in town if your late nights and your ‘don’t wait up for me’ means anything. So what’s wrong with me? ” The words fall out of his mouth so fast he doesn’t have time to think it over. Even looks at him, his eyebrows furrowed. He looks confused, hurt, and then it turns into anger. 

“You think that’s what I’m doing every night?” 

“What else is there?”

“There is a lot more to life than just sex, Isak. You might be surprised to hear this, but that’s the last thing I’m here for.” He speaks so precisely, and so softly despite his expression being one that Isak’s too familiar with - a calm rage, one that his father has looked at him with before. 

Isak feels stupid, but he’s too horny and angry to care if he’s wrong right now or not. So instead, he just stands up, puts his sunglasses on and grabs his bike, beginning to ride without saying another word. 

Even follows. 

Chapter Text

The days feel as slow as molasses, every minute that passes feels like hours for Isak, who is currently using all his energy to avoid Even, and Emma like they’re the plague. He doesn’t speak to Even, doesn’t even look at him during breakfast. If they happen to pass each other in the hall, or they’ve both chosen to relax in the garden at the same time, Isak refuses to acknowledge his existence. Or at least, Isak tries. 

The heat doesn’t help. Seeing Even being so perfect all the time doesn’t fucking help. 

The thing that Isak thinks is the worst part about all of this is that Even doesn’t look at him, either. It’s almost like they’re back to the beginning again, barely speaking, neither of them daring to approach. 

Only this time it’s excruciatingly agonizing, as Isak stares holes into the sides of Even’s body, watching the way the water glistens off of his chest after an afternoon swim, wanting desperately to reach over to him and put his hands on him, feel the cool water on his warm and soft skin, press his mouth against his neck and feel Even’s breath stutter. He can only imagine what he tastes like. It makes his mouth water. 

He makes the mistake of walking past his father's office too early one morning, and Terje asks him to come to listen to one of their upcoming projects. 

He sits on the sofa, staring at the white canvas in front of him, Even sits opposite of him, a notebook in his lap and holding a pen, his hand completely still. 

His father sets up a projector and then lights up a cigarette as he begins flipping through photos of statues that Isak can’t place the era of. Isak tries to keep his eyes on the screen, but flinches each time Even moves, his eyes flicking over towards him, watching him write down a note or run a hand through his hair. He never once looks over at Isak. 

He doesn’t retain much from the conversation, except for one part. 

“The statues of the bodies are all curved. Sometimes impossibly curved, and so nonchalant.” He looks back to his son and to Even, giving them a warm smile, 

“Hence, their ageless ambiguity?" Even responds, leaning back into the sofa with a kind smile back. 

“As if they're daring you to desire them,” Terje says excitedly, turning to look back at the photos as he clicks for the next one to appear, this one a close up of a man’s face, his cheekbones prominent and lips full. 

Isak swallows a lump in his throat. For a few moments, out of the corner of his eye, he can see Even look toward him. 

Isak decides to begin sleeping in after that, and like clockwork, just as the office doors close with Terje and Even behind them, Isak is hopping down the stairs and going out to the patio for breakfast with a tired smile on his face. 

“Have you been sleeping well?” Marianne asks, placing her hand on his cheek and looking at him worryingly.

“I’m fine, Mamma.” He groans and gently pushes her hand away, grabbing some toast and jam. He’d only just sat down - this is the last thing he needs. 

“I’m guessing that means no?” She sips her coffee, looking at him over the rim of the cup, clearly dissatisfied with his answer. 

“It means I’m sleeping just fine. Promise. Please just drop it?” He practically whines, desperately wanting to get off the topic of himself. His eyes feel heavy, and he’s sure that the bags under his eyes are getting more purple by the minute. 

He isn’t sleeping well, he knows he isn’t, especially when all he does is lie there restlessly, waiting for the sound of Even coming home. Even, who has begun to go out earlier and stay out later every night. Every night. 

“You look like a zombie. Who got hit by a truck. And then thrown off a cliff. And then a pack of wolves tore you apart and then threw you back up. And then-” Lea begins to laugh, unable to continue going on insulting him. Isak is about to respond, even though he can’t think of any witty response when his mother interrupts. He sticks his tongue out at her in the meantime, which she returns. 

“Alright, enough...Who wants to come into town with me today for some gelato? I was thinking of going to the bookstore, too.” 

An hour later, Isak is changing into a pair of shorts and a tank when he hears a familiar voice outside his window. He goes over, peering over the side slowly. 

His heart falls into his stomach, beginning to turn into nervous knots as he spots Emma, standing upright with her bike beneath her, talking to his mother. Her hair is tied back with a yellow ribbon, and she glances up at the house, up to Isak’s room, just as he darts out of the way. 

He scrambles around his room, his hair bouncing around as he quickly packs his half-empty water bottle into his backpack along with his walkman. 

He runs downstairs and quickly pulls on his sneakers before running outside onto the patio, past Lea who is currently sunbathing and waiting to go for gelato (which, Isak wanted to do but now he just wants to get as far away as possible). 

Lea calls after him, but he ignores her, going around the side of the villa and grabbing his bike off the wall, his ears ringing and breath feeling laboured. 

He cautiously looks around the front of the house to see that Emma’s bike is now left alone, and the two women have seemingly gone inside. He feels a little more relieved but still rushes to hop on his bike and begin riding. Once he’s far enough away, he stops to take a breath and a sip of water, putting his headphones on and listening to Sonatine Bureaucratique, helping to clear his mind as he focuses on the music, fingers occasionally playing along on the handlebars. 

He bikes to Magnus’ house, almost forty minutes away, and arrives a sweaty mess. He can see both Magnus and Jonas’ bikes lying on the front, and is thankful they haven’t gone out, and that Jonas is staying for another few days at Magnus'. 

He knocks on the door and is greeted by Magnus’ Nonna Rita, who continuously asks if he wants something to eat as he makes his way up the stairs, politely declining every offer. He follows the sounds of laughter he’s all too familiar with, reaching the third floor which Magnus has made into his own personal den. It smells like weed and cinnamon (Magnus' favourite candle scent).  

He finds Magnus and Jonas lounging on the sofa, playing Donkey Kong on Nintendo on a small box television. Isak stands in the doorway, feeling awkwardly out of place. Jonas notices him first, and smiles at him, pressing pause on the game. It’s then that Magnus looks up, eyes widening and a smile forming on his face, big and bright and welcoming, as usual. 

“Isak? Oh - did you call or something? Sorry — “ Magnus begins, but Isak stops him. 

“No. I didn’t call. Sorry for just…showing up.”  He says, his voice hoarse and dry. He grabs the hem of his tank and brings it to his forehead to wipe the sweat away from under his curls, suddenly feeling too hot under their kind gaze. 

“Everything okay?” Magnus asks, his voice cheerful along with the music coming from the TV, and it only makes Isak feel worse. 

“Not really, no.” Isak walks over to them then, and sits on the armrest, looking down at the two of them with a vacant stare. Silence falls over them, and Magnus stands up momentarily to turn the TV off. Once he sits, he looks up to Isak expectantly. His eyes travel to Jonas, then back to Isak, raising his eyebrows. 

“Did you want to talk about it?” Magnus asks, breaking the silence. 

A beat passes, and Isak takes a stuttered breath. 

“I fucked up. You guys saw me fuck up. Jonas, you warned me not to fuck up. And yet - I fucked up.” 

“Is this about Emma?” Jonas asks, brows furrowing in question, but from the tone of his voice, it sounds like something he’s rehearsed, like he knew this conversation was going to happen eventually. 

Isak nods, then proceeds to slide off the armrest and fall next to them, squishing his shoulder against Jonas’, both of his legs still hanging off the edge of the sofa. 

“So what, you kissed her and now she thinks you’re dating. Am I right?” 

“Yes?” Isak says quietly, putting his hands over his face, cheeks flushing in embarrassment and mild anger at himself. He's not even sure if that's the case, really - he just doesn't want to talk to her and find out. 

“Have you talked to her?”

“No.” He responds, even quieter. 

“Stop being dumb, and talk to her.”

“It’s not just - that easy, though.” He groans, his hot cheek now pressed against Jonas’ shoulder. Magnus’ arm goes around Jonas, his hand falling to the top of Isak’s head, and he pats him a few times. 

“If you weren't interested, then why did you kiss her? Why give her that hope?” Magnus chimes in, and Jonas nods encouragingly, looking impressed by his words. 

I was trying to make someone jealous. He thinks, and sighs heavily at the thought. 

“I was trying to see if it could work. But I didn't feel anything.”

“Hey, at least you gave it a shot. But now you need to tell her exactly what you just told us.” Magnus continues, and Jonas just continues to nod.

“You think that could work?"

“Yes. It could work. It will work.” Jonas shrugs his shoulder a few times, making Isak bounce a little and it elicits a small laugh from him. Isak lets out another heavy sigh, and then sits up, the three of them adjusting to all fit more comfortably on the sofa. On the table in front of them is a half-smoked joint laying on a plate, and Isak takes it. 

“Were you guys playing DK?” Isak points to the controller as Jonas hands him a lighter. 

“Yeah, Magnus can’t beat a level and now I am being held hostage until I beat it for him. Wanna try?” 

"Magnus, why would you ask Jonas when you know I am the Worlds Best Gamer?" 

They both laugh at him, and Magnus goes to turn the television on again. 

xxx

He comes back for dinner to see Even sitting there, enjoying his father’s wine and Sofia’s baked ziti.

Its the rarest sight yet - Even, sitting for dinner for the first time all summer. He has his back to Isak, thankfully, who stands frozen in the doorway to the patio, staring at the back of Even’s head. He's leaning back in his chair, saying something to his parents and his hands move animatedly, Isak’s eyes trailing over the muscles that move underneath his yellow and billowy shirt. 

“Ah, Isak! Perfekt timing! Vieni, vieni.” Terje says in an excited tone, but neither Even or his mother look to him. The way he switches from Norwegian to Italian almost gives Isak whiplash. 

Isak sits down cautiously across from his mother and adjacent to Even, refusing to look up. He notices Lea isn't there, and vaguely remembers her mentioning a sleepover at breakfast. Thankfully, his mother doesn’t question where he’s been, or why he bailed on their outing. Most importantly, she doesn't mention Emma. Instead, she sips her wine and then looks to Even with sparkling eyes. 

“So nice that you’re here for dinner, Even.” Marianne says, “I know how busy you are with your photography.” 

“Of course, sorry I’ve been so distracted with my work. Then I joined a card game tournament, and I’ve been invited out for a few dinners too.” He says with a chuckle, leaning forward on the table. Isak slowly lifts his head to meet Even’s eyes, and his heart skips when he finds Even already staring at him, igniting a thousand fires in the pit of his stomach, all the butterflies taking flight, waves of anxiety thrashing and painfully making his heart skip. 

He looks back down to his food, overwhelmed with the small amount of eye contact they’ve shared. It’s only then he realizes how truly desperate he is to have Even talk to him... to look at him again. 

Please talk to me. 

“I have no idea how you’re able to stay up so late, I’ve tried joining those tournaments myself... Not only can I not keep up with their drinking, but they're all too good at the game!” Terje says. 

Even laughs, “I did win once, but I think it was just to make me feel good. I haven’t been able to win since.” He glances again at Isak, who looks away again once their eyes meet. “Plus, the nightlife is surprisingly stunning, I’ve added so many great shots to my portfolio already.”

“Well, let’s drink to that.” Terje raises his glass. 

“To… inspiration.” Even adds, Marianne follows, and Isak reaches to grab his wine glass. 

He doesn’t realize he’s shaking so much until he goes to reach for his glass, accidentally tipping it over, and the red wine spills over and onto Even’s lap. 

“Oh - shit, I’m sorry!” Isak stands quickly, his chair sliding back and hitting the wall. He steps towards Even, grabbing a napkin to give to him. Even’s hand comes over Isak’s, holding it longer than necessary until Isak finally meets his eyes. He takes the napkin, and Isak’s whole body feels like it's on fire as the tips of Even’s fingers brush the back of his hand. 

“It’s alright, I didn’t like these pants anyways.” He says jokingly, the tension shifting from the table as Isak’s parents laugh. 

“I’ll go get a towel,” Isak says as his cheeks flare red. He flees, disappearing into the kitchen. He goes into the laundry room adjacent to the kitchen, scouring through the laundry cabinet for something that could get red wine stains out of white pants, and curses under his breath that they don’t have anything specifically for that. He finds a small carton of bleach, but when he reaches for it he finds that it's empty. 

“Anything interesting in there?” Even’s voice is sudden, and Isak gets so startled he accidentally slams his head against the top of the counter. Even is next to him in a second, his hand reaching out but then falling back to his side. Isak feels dizzy as his head begins to throb, standing slowly and reaching for the counter for support. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Though he sounds sincere, he can’t help but let out a chuckle at Isak’s expense. 

“And I didn’t mean to spill my wine on you and yet here we are.” He says and cringes at himself for how dramatic it sounded. He can't help it.  

“Wow, totally thought you did that on purpose just to get me out of my pants.” His grin is mischievous as he says it, and though it makes Isak melt a little, he keeps his composure, his head still throbbing and cheeks still burning from embarrassment. He rolls his eyes with a huff.

“And you say I’m the difficult one.” Isak says as he shoves the towel at Even, and he doesn’t mean it as harshly as it comes out. Even looks hurt, and Isak almost wants to take back what he said. Isak wants to take back a lot of things he’s said. 

“Isak… I was hoping…" Even stops, quirking his lips to the side, "I didn’t mean…" He pauses again, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking at Isak with an exasperated huff, "Why is this so complicated?” He sounds defeated, letting out a nervous laugh and it hurts Isak to hear him sound like that. It infuriates him to hear him sound so upset over it all. 

He looks sad, looking between Isak’s eyes and searching for some sort of reassurance that frankly, Isak can not give to him. 

“Summer is going by fast, Even. So you either figure it out or…leave me out of it.” He says, almost sounding hypocritical - here he is telling Even to do when he can’t even talk to Emma. 

Isak is about to push past him when Even steps forward and presses Isak back against the wall, out of the way of anyone who could walk past the doorway and see them like this in the laundry room. Whatever minimal anger was coursing through Isak had dissolved completely, his mind going blank with only Even in focus. Both his hands are at the side of Isak's head, and Isak feels so small, held up against the wall with Even towering over him, his blue eyes burning into him. 

“You act like I don't exist. How am I supposed to figure anything out when the person I’m interested in doesn't speak to me—” He pauses, letting his confession sink into Isak, who doesn’t know how to respond so instead he just listens, mouth hanging open as he hangs onto each syllable. 

“I thought you were dating Emma, so I didn’t try anything... But then you took me to your secret place and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I had to try to reach out, give you more of a hint than trying to make you laugh or giving you a stupid massage -- or winking at you — and I know I said we shouldn’t…" He closes his eyes, and for those few seconds, Isak misses them. "I don’t know how to make this work but... you’re all I can think about, Isak. It’s driving me crazy.”

His voice is hushed and desperate, unlike anything Isak’s heard from him up until now. He always sounded so confident in himself, so sure of every action he took. But now, still towering over Isak, pressing into him, his big blue eyes so round and distracting, he looked vulnerable, too. 

“I’m not dating Emma.” He says firmly, and a silent moment passes as he licks his lips, his whole mouth feeling too dry. “What about the girl at the club?” he asks, reminiscing about that night, unsure of why he thinks this is the right time to bring this up. 

“I don’t even — I only kissed her, nothing more.” He shrugs, shaking his head at having to remember her at all.

“So kissing her means nothing, but kissing me means what, exactly?” His response is a little snarky, but it’s only there to hide the way a pain grows in his chest. 

“Everything.” He doesn’t hesitate, not even for a second, and it makes Isak’s breath catch in his throat. He raises his hands to tug slightly on Even’s shirt, trying to silently plead him to come closer, finally tearing away from his stare to look at his lips instead. 

Even then presses his lips to Isak’s. 

It's slow and exhilarating, feeling dangerous but soft and all-encompassing. 

Isak moans as their lips move against one another, becoming quicker as the moment's pass. Isak wants to savour it, desperate to keep it slow and treasure each passing second. Even's hand comes to rest on his lower cheek, a few fingers tightening around his jaw and lifting his chin to meet him better. 

Even’s tongue presses into his mouth and it’s downhill from there, his leg pressing in-between Isak’s legs and it’s too much, the pressure of his lips and his hands all over Isak, trying to feel every inch of him like he might disappear at any moment, finally landing on his waist and pulling him closer. 

He feels Even’s fingers press into his back and Isak moans again, unable to hold back as he wraps his arms around his neck. Even responds by applying a little more pressure with his thigh onto Isak’s nearly painful bulge. He can feel the way Even’s body is responding as well, and it’s only making Isak float higher, more than a few whimpers falling from his lips. 

“We’re going to get caught if you keep making so much noise.” Even whispers as he runs a hand through Isak’s hair, pushing his curls from his forehead, his lips swollen and eyes heavy. He bites his lip, and it mesmerizes Isak, who feels near punch-drunk. Isak wants to bite his lips instead. 

“I don’t care.” His voice is breathless, feeling lightheaded. He's unsure if it's from hitting his head or from the kiss.

It's the kiss. Most definitely the kiss. 

“I do. I don’t need your parents catching me making out with their teenage son in their laundry room.”

“Then let’s go upstairs.” 

Even bites his lip again as he thinks, and it forces a small desperate sigh from Isak, whining in discomfort and pleasure. Even presses harder, and Isak preens. He wants to touch and bite and suck and yet, Even just holds him there, his hand finding its way back to holding Isak's jaw, more gentle this time around. 

“Later.” He whispers, and then he moves away, grabbing a towel and running it under the sink and starting to wipe at his pants, which Isak had forgotten started this in the first place. For once, he's thankful for being so clumsy.  

“Yeah, I’m definitely not the difficult one.” It makes Even chuckle and shake his head, Isak counts it as a win. He doesn’t even know when he started counting his wins and losses with Even, but so far, he’s doing okay. 

They go back to eat in a few minutes after Isak splashes his face with cold water while Even goes upstairs alone to change his pants (it's not like Isak didn't try to follow him, but Even just shooed him away). Marianne and Terje look unsuspecting, as if they had anything to suspect at all anyways. 

Dinner is still agonizing to sit through, as Even keeps leaning foreword, pressing his knee to Isak’s under the table. Isak can’t understand how Even is so composed, and so charming, and so beautiful, and how when he begins his next story, Isak hangs on every word. He truly was fascinating. With every sentence he finishes, he keeps glancing at Isak, and he can't stop fucking smiling.  

Marianne looks at him, giving him a curious smile as her eyes flick between him and Even. 

But "Later" never came, as Isak goes to take a shower and when he comes out, Even is gone. Isak is mad at himself for feeling so dissapointed. 

He lies in bed for a few hours, listening to Capriccio in B by Bach before sleep finally succumbs. 

xxx

Isak stirs in his bed, hearing the birds chirping outside. A painful headache suddenly begins, reminding that he hit his head pretty hard. It also reminds him of the events that took place afterwards - and Isak's eyes flutter open, remembering that it wasn't just another one of his dreams. He'd actually kissed Even. Even had kissed Isak. He raises a hand to his mouth, and can't help but let out a small giggle. 

He stretches out his leg, and suddenly he hits something. Someone. 

He turns his head quickly, and his cheeks go red once he sees its Even, sitting on his bed, looking down at Isak with an amused smile.

Then Isak remembers that he left last night. Isak had fallen asleep before he got home, so who knows when he even got back. The headache only grows. 

“Where were you?” He questions, unable to help but feel sadness sink into his features, and Even scoots closer as his smile falters. 

“Sorry, I had some business to attend to.” He whispers back. 

Isak looks at him for a moment longer before he closes his eyes again, turning back over. He’s not sure why he feels so jealous of whoever got to spend their time with Even last night instead of him, it’s not like they’re dating now, and Even is a full-grown adult who can do whatever and whoever he pleases. Maybe he just went to play poker, or take pictures. Or maybe he spent the night in someone else’s bed. Whatever. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for like thirty minutes now.” 

“Well, that isn’t creepy at all.” Isak responds sarcastically, his voice muffled as he shoves his face into his pillow, wanting to hide the way his cheeks reddened. 

“I sure hope not.” Even says, and then his hand comes to the middle of Isak’s back. “C’mon, get up.” He playfully whines, shaking Isak slightly. Isak whines back, and it makes Even laugh. “Terje and I are going to a site today. I want you to come.” His voice is soft as he begins to rub a small circle on Isak’s back, and it comforts Isak. 

Isak turns back over to look at him, and moves more comfortably, lying back and keeping contact. He props his head up by putting his arm behind him. He follows how Even’s eyes are drawn to his exposed torso, the light blanket he sleeps with falling ever so slightly. Even shifts his arm, raising his hand, and places it next to Isak’s hip, his thumb reaching to softly touch his side and begin drawing circles there, too. It's such a soft touch it sends shivers through Isak's whole system.  

“Okay. On one condition.” His voice cracks a little, and Even meets his eyes again, his head turning to the side a little in question, an insanely fond expression on his face that makes Isak melt into the mattress. 

“Anything.” 

Isak sits up and Even raises his eyebrows.  

“Can you please kiss me?” 

Even leans in, brushing his nose to Isak’s. Isak smiles and his lips part instinctively as Even's hand comes under Isak's chin, lifting it ever so slightly. 

“You’re so fucking cute.” He says before he presses his lips softly to Isak’s, kissing him sweetly. He moves away and Isak leans foreword to chase it, and it makes Even chuckle. “So cute…look at this hair! Those dimples!” He whispers animatedly as both hands come up to shake through Isak’s curls. He blushes, turning away and shaking his head, but makes no move to stop him, instead he curls in closer to his touch, his headache beginning to get the best of him. He'll have to remember to take some medicine and bring his sunglasses before he goes out to the site.  

“Shut up.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Good.” 

"Does this mean you're coming?"

Isak nods, and then Even mimics it, the two laughing lightly before Even kisses him again. Isak floats. He presses his lips to Isak’s like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 

xxx

The drive to the site is almost two hours, and at first, it was interesting to listen as Even and his father drone on and on about the project, but eventually Isak was so bored he wished he’d brought something to read or listen to. At one point, he even wished he’d had some music to transcribe, an old hobby he used to hold dear to his heart. The thought makes him nervous, so he locks it away at the back of his mind. 

He leans his elbow on the window, his cheek in his hand as he stares at the back of Even’s head. Sometimes, Even will glance back at him through the mirror, and it makes those few seconds just a bit more bearable. 

“Sorry if we’re boring you, Isak. Once we get there you’ll be much more interested, I’m sure.” Terje says, acknowledging that Isak has yet to speak in the past hour and a half. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” He says and gives them a thumbs up, and he can see Even smile at it. 

They arrive onto a gravel path, where Terje parks the car before they all climb out. 

Even gets out and stretches, his arms reaching high up into the sky, making his shirt lift and Isak has to look away before his knees get too weak. Today, he's chosen a light pink billowy shirt, and Isak thinks maybe it's his favourite colour on Even yet. 

He follows the two men like a shadow as they walk past other people also investigating the site. A sunken ship was found off the coast, and today they were extracting various statues that needed to be observed and hopefully, they could figure out a timeline and blah blah blah. Isak thinks the sunken ship is cool, but that’s about it. 

Many people are milling about, other scientists and archeologists. A man comes to greet them, shaking all their hands with an excited vigour, and lead them over to the first extracted statue. 

He ends up lounging on the rocky beach, sitting with his knees to his chest and playing with a few stray strands of weed. Terje and Even hunch over what looks to be an arm crafted of stone, lying lifeless on a bright blue tarp. They talk over each other, their single gloved hands reaching to touch and turn the arm with fascination. Isak watches them for a while, revelling in the way the sun shines on Even. 

Isak lies back, feeling restless, wishing he’d brought his swim trunks. He didn't plan this out well. 

He opens his eyes when a cloud blocks out the sun and is not-so surprised to see that it wasn’t a cloud at all. 

“You look bored.” Even states and Isak squints his eyes up at him, the sun glowing around him. 

“No, not at all. What makes you think that?” He sits up and Even gives a half-hearted laugh as he places his hands on his hips. He slouches ever so slightly, his pose lazy but still confident and beautiful. Isak thinks that no matter what kind of art they pull from the ship, nothing could be as beautiful as when the sun shines on Even. 

“We’ll be done soon, then we can swim.” He nods his head towards the water, which looks extremely enticing if Isak's burning skin has anything to say about it. 

“We didn’t bring anything to swim in, though.”

Even crouches slightly, coming to eye-level with Isak, leaning in close and making Isak's breath hitch. His eyes wander over Isak’s features before meeting his eyes again, giving him a smirk.  

“If your father wasn’t here,” He begins, his voice low, “We could just swim naked.” His eyes travel over Isak slowly once again, and Isak feels like he’s naked already just from the way his stare lingers. “But unfortunately…” 

They both look over at Terje, still too immersed in the project to notice that Even had wandered off, still mumbling to himself as he's moved on from the arm to a broken torso. 

Isak gulps. “Later?” He simultaneously loves and hates the way Even makes him feel - inwardly cursing at himself for how easily Even affects him. 

Even shrugs before he stands upright, stretching again and this time Isak doesn't look away. Isak can’t comprehend how someone could be so tantalizing and nonchalant within a few seconds. Difficult. 

“You can join us in our study, you know. You don’t have to just sit here alone.” Isak nods, his knees pressed together. Even seems to notice the way Isak is squirming, and it elicits a smile, bright and blinding as usual. Isak flushes. 

“I’m alright, don’t worry.”

The three of them end up swimming a few hours later. The sun is setting and they all jump in the water in their shorts, not caring about how uncomfortable they might be for the drive back. 

xxx

They don’t get back home until late, Isak falling asleep in the backseat on the drive back. After Terje says goodnight, Isak looks at Even, and despite being half-asleep, the last thing he wants to do right now is go to bed. 

"Are you going out?" He asks and Even shrugs. 

"Want to come with me?"

Isak nods so quickly that it makes Even laugh. 

"You're not sick of me?" Even asks, and Isak shakes his head, a sheepish smile emerging.

"I just want to spend time with you."

That makes the tops of Even's cheeks shade pink like his shirt. 

They bike into town once Even packs his camera. 

At some point, they’d ended up having a few drinks and began running through the streets together, hands clasped so tight and for so long they seemed to have melded into one. 

Even is dancing, singing, pulling Isak over the uneven cobblestone paths and dimly lit alleyways. Isak doesn’t know how he’s standing straight or following in Even’s lead at all. But Even seems to be doing just fine. He looks so elated that Isak wonders if his features match his. Pure happiness. 

They reach a shaded area and Even stops singing abruptly, his echo coming to a halt. Isak halts his laughter as well, not even realizing that he’d been laughing at all. 

The silence is nearly deafening, the cicadas adding a nice hum over Isak’s loud thoughts. 

Even steps closer and Isak steps back against the wall, falling back against it and pulling Even towards him with ease. Even steps in front of him, his feet on either side of Isak's, fully enclosing him into a small space against the wall, into a small bubble that is theirs. 

“Hi.” Even says, his voice is hoarse and tired. Isak wants to drown in it. 

“Hei.” Isak’s voice is quiet and soft despite his thoughts urging him to sound somewhat seductive and Even lets out a chuckle, pulling apart their hands so he can bring both of his to Isak’s face, thumbs running across his cheekbones, the tips of his fingers curling around his hair. Isak puts his hands lightly on Even’s waist, not wanting to rush the moment with too much desperation. They’ve got all night, and then some. 

“How are you?” Even asks. 

“Not too bad, you?” Isak replies playfully, and Even’s nose scrunches up as he smiles. 

“Really fucking great.” He says it with conviction, making Isak squirm, fingers pressing into Even, holding on so tight so he won’t float away. 

Even lifts Isak’s chin ever so slightly with two of his fingers, and proceeds to plant the faintest kiss on his nose. The feeling lingers. 

“Can I kiss yo-“ 

Even is barely finished speaking before Isak surges forward, pressing his lips to Even’s almost painfully, and Even pushes back, taking control almost immediately. 

So much for trying to keep it tame. 

Isak lets him take control, Even’s mouth ravishing his own, pulling back only for a moment to lick a stripe across Isak’s lips, watching as Isak’s mouth falls open before he continues. It tastes like a dream, remnants of the cherry wine they shared over a rolled cigarette. 

Isak is in Heaven. He’s so blissed out he can’t feel his toes or his fingers. He can only feel Even’s hand running through his hair if he pulls hard enough, eliciting various sounds from Isak that he can be embarrassed about later. 

For now, he indulges, his hands beginning to work again and he’s able to pull Even in closer. Even’s leg nudges between Isak’s own in an attempt of friction, in need of the closeness. Isak’s hand travel up to the middle of Even’s back and then back down to Even’s ass. He gives Even a small squeeze and Even moans so deeply in response that the sound vibrates through Isak's core. 

“Let’s go home.” Even says, his hand finding Isak’s again, guiding him back up the alleyway from which they came. Home.  

Isak’s head is spinning so fast he’s thankful that his legs don’t give out from under him. He looks to Even, and how beautiful he looks under the moonlight as well, not just the sun.

Whether it’s the deep blue hues of the night or the golden sunny days, nothing compares to Even. 

xxx

They walk into the house quietly, hands still clasped tightly as they try their best to maneuver through the dark up the stairs and down the hall to their room. The house is hot, but it doesn’t compare to the heat radiating off of Isak. Even squeezes his hand a few times, and Isak’s breath hitches, and in the dark, he hides his smile. In the dark, Even hides his smile too.

Isak walks into the room first, quietly, and Even follows, kicking the brick from the door. 

But, he forgets to hold it and let it close slowly, and the heavy wooden door closes with a loud slam that startles them both.  

Even’s eyes widen as he looks to Isak in horror. Isak quickly slaps a hand to Even's mouth, silently begging him not to make a sound. He holds his breath, looking at the door and waiting. Isak listens, ears straining as he does, for any sound possible sound. After a few moments, when it seems as though they’re in the clear, Isak removes his hand, just for Even to let out a sudden laugh. 

“Shush!” Isak whispers angrily, though he isn’t angry at all. He’s trying to suppress his laughter as well, and ends up pushing Even back into the room, able to make out the way he stumbles back, standing against the end of the bed as he quietly laughs.  

Isak looks around as his eyes adjust, the moonlight streaming in from the window enough to help him. 

“I like what you've done with the place.” Isak whispers, and Even stays silent, just staring at him with a small smile. 

Isak slowly walks over to stand next to him, brushing his shoulder against Even’s.

“You okay?” He whispers, and Isak nods.

“Me okay.” 

Isak looks towards him, and his eyes have adjusted well enough now that they can see one another better, the outline of Even’s features more prominent, and his eyes are still sparkling. The stars have nothing on you, either.

Even moves his knee, pressing it to Isak’s, and he shudders. 

“Close call, huh?” Even says, and it makes Isak groan softly as he presses his forehead down against Even’s shoulder, feeling him laugh. 

“Asshole.” He murmurs back, then raises his head to look up at him. 

Even places a hand on his cheek, running a few fingers behind Isak’s ear and through his curls. Isak makes a soft sound of content, and steps in front of Even, who brings both hands to the sides of Isak’s face. Isak’s chest is about to explode, his mind too. The smallest, tiniest amounts of Even’s touch ignites Isak’s whole being into a frenzy. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Please.” 

Even slowly leans forward, and Isak waits. He kisses the bottom of his jaw slowly, pressing his lips and holding them there for a moment. He then moves to kiss his forehead, and Isak closes his eyes just as their mouths meet again. 

It feels like hours before Even’s arms go to wrap around Isak’s middle, picking him up and placing him back down on the bed gracefully, swiftly. Isak feels lightheaded as Even climbs over him. 

He looks up at Even, his head back against the pillow, surrounded by his warmth and his scent. 

“ Faen … you’re so beautiful.” Even whispers and Isak’s mouth drops open, though he tries to make it so it’s not as obvious. Even seems to catch onto it anyways, so Isak looks away for a moment, not wanting to show Even how much his words affect him. 

Beautiful.  

Isak would never use that word to describe himself, he’s never been enough to warrant someone thinking he’s beautiful. What did he do to deserve Even’s generosity?

He looks back to Even, who is silently looking at him. Now he almost looks lost, as if he’s said something wrong, replaying the last few minutes over in his mind as he lookings worryingly at Isak. 

“That’s you, not me.” Isak tries to say it jokingly, but instead, it just sounds sad. “I’m nothing special. Plus, I’ve been so…rude to you, your whole trip.” He raises his hands to touch Even's chest and is shocked to find his heart is racing, too. 

“Don’t say that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because,” He leans forward to kiss his the tip of his nose, “No matter how much you ignore me or try your best to insult me, I’ll never stop thinking you’re beautiful.”

His thumb swipes gently across Isak’s cheek, wiping away a tear. Fuck, am I crying?

“You know, the first day we met, I saw you and I thought I was hallucinating from my lack of sleep. That’s why I had to go straight to bed that evening. And then at breakfast, I was doing my best to keep my cool, and I even tried to crack a joke just to see you smile…but you didn’t laugh.” Even says with a light chuckle, and Isak does too.

“Only ‘cause the story was so unbelievably lame.” 

“You trying to break my heart?” 

“Only if you promise not to break mine.”

Isak says it before he can process the words, and for a moment, he wants to run. How could he ever ask Even to make such a promise? To an 18-year-old, no less, whom he’s only known for a short time.  

“Isak... I’ve never felt anything like this... Ever.”  

“Me too.”

Even kisses him softly, lovingly, a promise in a kiss.

The moment ends abruptly when they both hear a gasp from the other side of the room, where the washroom connects to Isak’s room. 

Emma stands there, looking between the two of them in shock. 

Chapter Text

Emma ends up sleeping on the couch, and she’s gone early in the morning before anyone wakes. Isak is thankful that his parents didn’t find her, the last thing he needs is more interrogations from them. She leaves no note, and her absence makes Isak feel a flood of relief, almost as if she wasn’t there at all.

But she was. She saw Isak and Even kissing and said nothing. Despite the overall relief, Isak also feels a sense of dread which weighs down on him heavily.

He wakes early, feeling like he’s got the flu. His head is sore and his body aches, with what exactly he doesn’t know. He’s weighted with sweat again, and quickly changes before splashing his face with some cold water and tiptoeing past a sleeping Even to sneak downstairs.

Once he finds that Emma is gone, he quickly heads back upstairs and opens the door to Even’s room quietly, holding the door until it shuts with a gentle click. He lets out a sigh, turning slowly towards Even.

He stands by the door for a moment, staring at him sleeping peacefully with his cheek squished against the pillow, his dirty blonde hair sprawled across the pillow and his body curled up sweetly in the blankets.

It makes Isak’s heart yearn to touch him, and then Isak asks himself why he’s standing here yearning for it when he could be holding him instead.

He all but jumps onto Even, climbing over him and wrapping his arms and legs around him as much as he can. Wake up, I’m here.

They didn’t sleep together last night, they didn’t do anything after Emma caught them. Isak was too shook up and Even agreed that it was maybe for the best that they slept separately.

“Isak, the way she looked at us… it looked like you were caught cheating on her with me.” Even says just as Emma departed, agreeing to grab her things and move to the couch for the evening. That was as far as the conversation between them went. His voice is hushed, and his eyes look pained, looking up at Isak with an indecipherable expression. Isak can’t meet his eyes for a few moments, feeling like his chest is about to explode.

“What? No. We’re not dating. I’ve told you that!” Isak whispers back quickly, standing at the edge of the bed and holding onto the posts, his limbs feeling like spaghetti. He’s afraid his legs might collapse if he doesn’t hold onto something, it already feels like the world around him is crumbling, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he fell too.

“Does she know that?” Even whispers, and Isak groans, stretching his neck to one side and squeezing his eyes in frustration.

“Yes.”

“Isak.”

“What?” He shoots him a look and Even is gazing up at him softly. Even scoots to the edge of the bed and places one hand over Isak’s, looking at it for a long moment, thinking.

“You need to talk to her. Before any of this goes further.” He motions between them, and the words are so painful to hear that Isak can’t look at him anymore. He looks down to the floor instead, as if he was bowing his head in acceptance. He was, after all, accepting that this had happened. He let it get to this point. This was his fault.

Isak feels like he’s ruined everything. He’s too tired to process. Even’s hand stays on his until Isak departs, but he doesn’t squeeze, he doesn’t try to pull him over, he doesn’t give Isak any comfort, but Isak knows he doesn’t deserve it. Not right now. Not when he’s managed to royally fuck this up.

“Okay.” He whispers, and walks out of the room, hearing Even shuffle back on the bed.

By the time Isak got Emma set up on the couch, who was too tired and too nervous to actually chat with him, Isak found Even sleeping soundly, so Isak went to his own little mattress, cold and alone, and tried his best not to cry. He did anyways.

Even wakes with an oof, feeling the warm weight of Isak pressing against him. He turns, surprised and startled by the sudden intrusion, but he smiles tiredly once he sees it’s Isak. Isak lays his head on his chest, and Even lets his head fall back with a sigh, one arm coming to wrap around Isak, pulling him up a little higher, a little closer.

They lie like that for a while before Even finally begins to wake up, stirring enough for Isak to loosen his hold on him, but only a little.

“How did you sleep?” He asks, his voice is groggy and gorgeous - Isak soaks it in.

“Terribly.” He mumbles truthfully.

He’d stayed up for hours after the encounter with Emma, wishing Even might come to sneak into his bed. But when he didn’t, and when Isak had no more tears left to shed, he started to think of what to do.

“You need to talk to her. Before any of this goes further.”

Maybe, hopefully, Isak wished, he didn’t fuck things up. He just needed to do exactly what Even was telling him to do, what his friends had already plainly explained for him to do to end this.

“Me too.” Even responds, his hand halting from where he was previously running it over Isak’s curls, and Isak looks up, eyes trailing over the sharp cut of Even’s jaw where a bit of stubble had begun to grow, the curve of his lips, his long lashes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He says, sounding detached, and Isak tries to gauge his expression, trying to decipher what he might be thinking.

“She won’t say anything to anyone…about what she saw…if that’s what you’re worried about?”

Even hums, eyes glued to the ceiling just before he begins to stir again, sitting up slowly and Isak is forced to untangle himself. He watches, horrified, as Even stands up and paces towards the window, rubbing at his tired eyes as he pulls back the white curtain, letting the sunlight in. Isak sits, feeling cold and empty, and the time it takes for Even to finally turn and look at him feels like an eternity.

“Do you remember what I said last night?” He asks, his voice cutting through the silence and Isak nods, hands curling into fists around the bedsheets as Even holds his stare.

“Yeah…Jonas told me to talk to her too I just…Haven’t had a chance to.” He looks down, hand running over the spot that Even was previously lying in, smoothing out the cotton sheets, silently wishing for him to come back and hold him.

“You should do it today.” He says, and the corners of his lips turn up into a smirk, making Isak’s breath catch.

“I thought I’d maybe give her the day to process.” He almost lets out a chuckle, but he can’t.

“She deserves to know, Isak. I can see how important she is to you.” He steps away from the window, stepping closer to the bed, closer to Isak, placing his hands on his hips.

“To know what?”

“That you’re… not interested? Seeing someone else, maybe?”

Isak nods, staring blankly up at him, Even’s smile now full on his features. He never really even considered Even being someone he was seeing. That topic had yet to come up, and the fact that Even was mentioning it made Isak want to jump up and kiss him. It also made him feel nervous, undeserving. How could you want to be with me after the mess I made?

“Okay…Even?” He looks up to him, his hair falling around his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Will you kiss me?”

Even looks at him, surprised, and then lets out a chuckle before the bed dips beside Isak, and he’s thanking whatever higher being there is to grant him this wish - his wish of being close to him.

Even comes right into his space, their noses almost touching, and both his hands come to rest on either side of his face, holding him softly. The weight of his hands is heavy and warm, and Isak’s eyes flutter at the gesture.

Even is always warm. And so soft. Isak never wants anyone else to touch him. 

His scent is overwhelming, and Isak tries his best not to make a show of how deeply he’s breathing him in.

Even leans over and place a small peck at the corner of Isak’s mouth, holding it there for a few moments before moving away, his eyes sparkling as Isak’s mouth falls open, a soft sound escaping him. Even just lets out a laugh at his expense, and Isak narrows his eyes at him in defeat, trying not to look too desperate.

Difficult.

“Soon. For now, let's go have breakfast. Then you can go see Emma.”

“And then we can kiss?”

“Maybe.”

At breakfast, Isak moves his chair ever so slightly closer to Even so he’s able to lock both of his ankles with his, and Even seems pleased about the gesture. 

When the boiled eggs arrive, Isak takes two out for Even and breaks them open before handing them to him. Once he’s done, he looks up to find the whole table staring at him in silence.

“What?” He says nervously.

“Nothing.” Terje says.

“That was nice of you to do, dear.” Marianne says, gesturing to Even’s plate. Even is also looking at him, but he’s got a smile that’s threatening to take over his whole being. He stares with fascination at Isak, who still doesn’t know why what he did is warranting such a grand reaction from them all.

“Well, he always does it wrong.” Isak says jokingly, proceeding to grab an egg for himself and a slice of bread.

“I do not.” Even says, challenging Isak with a furrowed brow and a smirk. He’s holding back from laughing at himself, and Isak can tell. His leg moves a little, locking Isak’s ankles with his even tighter, making Isak’s heart clench. More. Isak wants so much more. 

“You do, though! You always get pieces of shells stuck in there.” He responds, trying to keep his cool despite the blood rushing to his cheeks, making them feel impossibly warmer and red. He tries to focus on breaking open his own egg, but he finds he can’t do anything when Even is here, right beside him, barely touching him but still making his brain short-circuit.

His parents begin to chuckle, exchanging a look between them that Isak doesn’t catch.

“It’s a first-world-problem for him, I swear.” Isak continues and Even clutches his chest dramatically.

“I’ve read there are lots of nutrients in the shell.”

“Sure.”

Even beams for the whole rest of the morning, blinding Isak with his unwavering glow. 

After breakfast, Isak packs his backpack with water and an apple before heading to his father’s office to let them know he’s going to Emma’s. Just as he’s putting on his sneakers, Even emerges from the office, coming up behind him wrapping him in a tight hug as Isak stands to collect, forgetting about his shoes for a moment. He’s got half a shoe on, and he stands on his tiptoes to be able to lock his arms better around Even’s neck. He closes his eyes, breathing him in, and he feels Even pull him closer. Vanilla, he smells like vanilla.

Even presses a long kiss to his collarbone, and Isak feels shocks go down his spine at the contact. He’ll definitely have to make Even do that again some time. Maybe tonight, if all goes as planned.

“See you soon.” He whispers, and then he retreats back into the office, closing the doors all while smiling at Isak.

xxx

Isak doesn’t know what to expect as he drops his bike onto the gravel driveway of Emma’s house. It’s a small house, but it’s got a lot of character, and a lot of memories. Laundry hangs out the windows and on string lines connected to an upper level, where the ceilings hung low.

There's a lattice that climbs up the side of the house, where he’s watched Emma sneak out numerous times. As Isak steps onto the porch, he can smell the scent of mint and basil, and it smells like Emma.

He knocks and shuffles nervously as he hears some voices from the other side.

“You’re here.”  It’s Emma, and she doesn’t look pleased to see him. She looks tired, and she shifts uncomfortably, crossing her arms in front of her chest and giving him an odd look, silently questioning his motives.

“I am.” He states, and Emma’s eyes don’t waver. "I didn’t want to wait to talk. I hope that’s alright.”

She examines him for a moment and then sighs.

“So when I want to talk to you, you avoid me. But when you finally decide to come and talk to me, I’m not allowed to say no?”

“Emma—” Isak flounders, and she frowns.

“No.” She says firmly.

A few quiet moments pass, and Isak keeps his eyes down, unable to meet hers. And where he expects her to slam the door in his face, she instead puts her hand out. Isak looks at it, and she just motions for him to shake it. So, he does, taking it slow and gently, and she squeezes.

“Friends. Remember?”

“For life?” He asks, staring down at their interlocked hand as tears begin forming, prickling the corners of his eyes. Her eyes are watery too, he notices, once he finally looks back up.

“For life.” She nods, the smallest hints of a smile beginning to form as he releases her hand and pulls her in for a hug.

“I’m so sorry if I lead you on.” He says once they move apart, looking at her to make sure she knows its as sincere as he can make it.

“It’s okay…I mean, it’s not like it’s completely your fault - we never talked about what happened last summer…I guess I just kind of hoped…I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” She trails off for a moment, then gestures for Isak to come in. “Want to come in? My mom made soup.”

Isak goes in for tomato soup, and he stays until the sun begins to set. They talk, and they don’t. Mostly, they just enjoying each other's company as friends - as they always have. She doesn’t have a pool, so they end up hosing each other off whenever they get too hot and restless, later making two tall glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice and Isak listens intently as she tells him all about the drama he misses out during the year when he’s back in Oslo.

He hugs her before he leaves, not meaning to have stayed so long, but he’s happy he did. He feels refreshed. A weight has been lifted off his chest, his mind, his heart.

He bikes home as fast as he can, feeling like he’s flying as his tired legs pedal faster and faster, feeling invincible.

xxx

When Isak gets back he finds Even out in the garden, picking peaches with Isak’s mother while Lea sits around, reading and listening to music. He thinks it might be one of his ABBA records, as in the distance he can hear Andante, Andante - one of his personal favourites, though he won't admit that out loud.

Isak tries to keep his cool as he makes his way over to him, tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

Even turns to face him, and Isak feels like he can breathe again.

He must look so sweaty and dishevelled, exhausted from how much he spoke today, and how fast he rode his bike to get home, to get to Even. He feels it in the way his hands shake, his feet are aching and he can barely stand. But seeing Even helps.

Even looks beautiful, standing among the peach trees as the sun has mostly set,  casting deep orange hues, and Even seems to be glowing as usual.

They stare at each other, Even silently questioning, but his shoulders seem to relax when Isak gives him a smile and a nod, trying to silently tell him that he’s worked things out. Even gets the message, and Isak sees his hand flinch, as if he was about to reach out and touch him, but decided it was best not to. Isak desperately wishes he would’ve.

“You’re back! Good. We’ve decided to go on a trip!” Marianne exclaims once she notices Isak, walking around Even and him with a basket of peaches under her arm to bring inside.

“A trip?”

“Yes, you’re welcome to join if you’d like. We’ve decided to go for a drive to visit some friends, about three hours away. We’ll most likely stay the night there and come back the next day in the evening. Lea is coming too.” She pauses to explain, looking at Isak with a warm smile.

“I can’t go… I have quite a bit of work I need to catch up on.” Even mentions and it's almost like the decision is made for him.

“I think I’d rather stay home, sorry.”

Marianne leans forward and places a hand on Isak’s cheek, her eyes looking over his face and she gives him a warm smile. “That’s fine. You should get some rest, you look exhausted.” She kisses his forehead.

“Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight.” He says, placing a kiss on her cheek, glancing at Even before retreating. Just before he turns, Even gives him a quick wink, if you could even call it a wink, and it makes Isak almost trip over his own two feet.

He takes a quick shower before going to his room.

It’s an agonizing twenty minutes before a knock comes to the door, and Even steps in.

“Halla.” He stands by the door after closing it, hands behind his back, gazing at Isak with soft eyes. His glow has dimmed, but it’s still there. It’s always there and Isak can feel it.

Isak was pretending to read his book when for the past twenty minutes he was actually trying to figure out how to pose for when Even (hopefully) would come in. He’s lying on his back, one arm behind his head, his legs sprawled out in front of him. He’d almost fallen asleep in the past few minutes, eyes drifting over the same paragraph. He’s glad he didn’t.

He rests his book open on his chest like he’s going to come back to it.

“Hei.” He says, unable to hold his cool composure, consumed by Even’s warmth. He doesn’t even care how ridiculous he must look because of how wide his smile is. He’s too tired to care. He just wants Even to see it.

“How was your day?” He questions, tilting his head to the side sweetly.

“Good.”

“Good? That’s all your going to give me?” He walks over slowly, and Isak watches every step with bated breath, urging him to come closer. 

“Fine. It was fine. We hung out, we talked, we’re friends.” He shrugs, then brings his bottom lip between his lips, biting down on it lightly as his eyes trail up Even, who now stands next to him, his blue eyes bright and staring straight into his soul.

“For sure?” His hand hovers above Isak’s chest now, and he picks up the book, looking at it momentarily before putting off to his nightstand, leaving it open still.

“Yes, Even. My god. Will you please just touch me now?”

Even touches him.

He sits on the bed and quickly leans over Isak, kissing him gently, and as the kiss deepens, as their tongues begin to fold over one another, it becomes more reckless and desperate. Even climbs over him, pulling him impossibly closer as their teeth clash, the two of them letting out soft, breathy moans with each passing moment. Isak floats to a whole other realm of happiness he never knew existed up until this moment.

Even’s touch leaves him writhing as his hands roam, pressed fingertips moving down the sides of Isak’s body, thumbs hooking under Isak’s shorts.

“Touch me.” Isak breathes.

“I am.” He says teasingly with a smile, making Isak squirm. He dips down to kiss him again, and Isak’s mouth falls open, a desperate whine. 

“More, Even.” He pleads, but Even’s hands were now holding his hips down, making him incapable of moving any more.

“Baby, we have time.” He says, giving Isak a kiss, the pet name making Isak soar. “But, for now…” He whispers lowly, and time seems to slow as his hand reaches into Isak’s shorts. He doesn’t take them off, looking up at Isak questioningly.

Isak nods desperately, feeling too hot and too restricted and yet it's still not enough. Please.

He lifts his hips as Even pulls down his shorts slowly, and once he’s exposed he can’t help but look away.

“Look at me, baby.” Even whispers, one hand reaching to turn Isak’s head towards him, and the sight of Even kneeling before him, his mouth wet and hanging open slightly, his pupils blown making his blue eyes dark - it's obscene. Isak feels like he’s about to burst and Even hasn’t even touched him yet. Barely.

He slides one hand down his thigh and back up again, and Isak tries not to squeeze his eyes shut, now mesmerized by the sight in front of him. He touches Isak softly, and when he finally takes him in his palm, Isak uses all his strength to not fall apart just yet.

His hand wraps slowly around him, and he doesn't take his eyes off of Isak’s face. He moves so slowly that Isak melts at the mere feeling, sharp tingles running up and down his spine as Even’s other hand holds onto his hip.

Even strokes Isak, who tries desperately to make as little noise as possible, he just watches. He focuses on the way Isak grips the sheets beside him, the way his mouth falls open, breathless by his touch. The way he tries so hard to keep his eyes open though he can’t help but let them flutter closed every other second. Their breathing is both laboured, as Isak bucks his hips up to meet with Even’s strokes, which are slowly getting faster.

Isak has to admit he’s never felt anything close to this before - and though last summer, Giovanni had given him a half-assed blowjob and he had thought that it was the best thing ever - he knows now how much he was truly missing out. And it’s only Even’s one hand that’s making him feel this way. Isak can only imagine what his mouth would feel like, or his fingers. Isak gasps at the thought, letting out another moan and Even’s pace quickens.

“So beautiful,” Even whispers, and Isak’s eyes squeeze shut as Even moves foreword to quiet him with a kiss.

He only lasts a few minutes and is too embarrassed to look at Even as he wipes his hand on the bedsheets, and leans over to grab some tissues, wiping the mess off of Isak’s chest. The loss of his touch makes Isak whine, feeling too spent. Even lets out a chuckle, pressing a quick kiss to his nose as he pulls his shorts back up.

“What are you laughing at?” Isak asks, still breathless, but Even just shakes his head.

They stay quiet, and Isak feels his face heat up even more as Even shifts next to him, manoeuvring under him to lie comfortably in one another’s arms. He feels sweaty and sticky but Even holds him nonetheless. Isak doesn’t have it in him to get up.

“Why did you decide to stay for the weekend?”

“Why do you think?” Isak responds incredulously.

“I know…I just want to hear you say it.” Even laughs lightly, and Isak rolls his eyes despite the growing smile on his face, pressing his face into the crook of Even’s neck, and pressing a kiss there, feeling his breath stutter ever so slightly.

“Because of you.” Isak mumbles quietly after a few minutes pass.

xxx

Isak stirs awake, and for a moment, he doesn’t know where he is. All he knows is he feels surrounded by warmth, and there is something hard pressing against his back. He opens his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings. He’s lying in his bed, the sun peeking through the curtains. His memories flood into him and he turns his head to look at Even, who seems to just be waking up as well.

“Morning.” Even whispers, his voice tired and beautiful, kissing behind Isak’s ear, and then suddenly he goes stiff in Isak’s arms. Isak presses back against him, and he can feel the way Even’s body reacts.

“We shouldn’t,” He whispers, but he relaxes, giving Isak an opportunity to turn around in his arms and run his hand down his side, inching closer down. Isak doesn’t miss the way Even’s chest rises and falls a little more rapidly, closing his eyes, his fingertips pressing into Isak’s back softly.

“Stop saying we shouldn’t.” Isak whispers, his cold fingertips pressing against Even’s lower abdomen, and Even opens his eyes, staring at him with an unexpected intensity. His eyes are darkened, lustful, but still, he holds back.

“Your family is leaving soon, and we should have breakfast with them, and say goodbye.”

Isak groans, curling into Even’s chest, raising his leg to wrap it around Even, who pulls him in and snuggles him closer. He can feel him against his thigh, and Isak has half a mind to grind down against it. The feeling of being this close to him is enough to make Isak want to release all his inhibitions, give himself completely up to the man in his bed. It's intoxicating.

“I don’t want to leave this bed.” Isak whines, his face so close to Even’s chest that his lips brush against him as he speaks.

“Trust me, neither do I. Once they’re gone, we can come right back if you want.”

Isak looks up at him, finding Even already looking at him with an amused grin. 

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Even shifts and moves closer, kissing him softly. Isak is satisfied for now.

Even leaves first, and Isak lays in bed a little longer, face pressed to Even’s pillow, inhaling every bit of him he’s left behind, listening as the shower turns on and off. Finally, after a few more minutes of silence from Even’s side, he sits up and begins his own routine.

He comes downstairs, wearing his swim trunks and an old tee, and goes out onto the patio to see his family and Even eating breakfast.

“Morning.” Even says quickly before the rest can, and Isak tries not to laugh. He’d rather enjoyed the previous good morning he’d gotten from Even.

Isak does something a little out of character then, going around the table and giving a kiss to his mother and father, and one to a protesting Lea who claims Isak’s given her a disease afterwords. Thankfully they don’t question it, and he takes a seat, grabbing some bread and jam as he listens to them discuss their trip. They’ll be leaving this morning, and will be back tomorrow evening, meaning they'll basically be gone all weekend.

Isak has to promise he won’t throw any parties while they’re gone and looks to Even who gives him a sly smile, turning knots in his stomach in anticipation.

Saying goodbye is the easiest thing, and as Isak stands next to Even on the driveway, the two of them waving at the car as it disappears down the driveway, he doesn’t understand why he feels frozen with nerves all of a sudden. Having Even to himself for a whole weekend has just set in, and he doesn’t know whether to jump in his arms or run away.

His senses heighten, and he can now feel, more than ever before, the burn of Even’s stare, and it’s only until Even places a hand on the small of his back that he looks up from the ground and meets his eyes. Those eyes that tell Isak everything and nothing at the same time. Those eyes that give him comfort and make him feel lost. He sinks into the blue of them, and floats.

“Want to go for a swim?” He asks, his lilac shirt blowing in the wind. He’s only got the bottom two buttons tied up, so the shirt looks even bigger on him, his white tank underneath making his torso look delicious. A primal part of Isak stirs, wanting to rip the shirt off him and tear open the tank and lick every inch of the man before him.

Isak swallows that thought and clears his throat. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Isak asks, and Even looks taken aback for a moment, and raises his brow to Isak in question, a frown setting in instead of a smile.

“It…can wait.” Both of his hands come to rest on Isak’s waist, and he pulls him towards him. “What, you suddenly don’t like to swim anymore? You swim almost every day—”

“It’s not that.” He responds quietly, hands staying at his sides, eyes glued to Even’s chest. He raises a tentative hand, placing it inside Even’s shirt and running his hand across his abdomen, feeling him shudder ever so slightly under his touch. Even lets out a little chuckle, and though he seems composed, there's an edge to it, like he’s nervous too.

“Then what is it? You know… I’d much rather spend my time with you then with my work.”

“I can’t believe you actually want to spend the whole weekend with me…just me.”

After he says it, he thinks he sounds fucking pathetic. There's a pain in his chest again, and he looks up Even longingly. Even pulls him closer, tilting his head to the side as he smiles down at him, one of his hands coming to push Isak’s hair from his forehead before resting on the back of his neck.

“You know, I was just thinking the same thing.” He whispers back. Isak melts into him, and though a small part of him is still unsure, most of him just wants to kiss him senseless.

Even pulls him in, plush lips pressing against Isak’s with a sweet determination that fills Isak with want.

They go for a swim and spend most of the afternoon lounging outside in the hot sun until Even retreats to the office to try and get something finished to show Terje he actually did something. Isak joins him, listening to music on his walkman and reading a book on the sofa, legs dangling over the edge of the armrest. He shifts restlessly, at one point he ends up lying upside down on the sofa with his legs up on the wall, re-reading a few paragraphs over and over as he tries to focus on something other than Even.

Even barely gets any work with him in there, for most of the time the two continuously just keep looking at each other, and looking away when they get caught. Isak finds it to be extremely endearing, especially in the way the tops of Even’s cheeks blush a light pink every time he looks away. Every time.

“I think I’m going to go take a nap.” Isak states as he pauses his walkman, placing it on the couch next to his book. Even looks up from his desk, his cheek resting in his palm. He nods tiredly, and Isak is about to ask if he wants to join when Even speaks up.

“I actually need to go into town to deliver some mail and pick up some groceries — I’m making you dinner, by the way.” He adds with a sly smile, and Isak’s mouth falls open as he stands up, walking over to the desk. He places his hands down on it, leaning foreword towards Even.

“What! You don’t have to - Sofia left some stuffed peppers for us to heat up.”

“Yeah, but I want to.” He shrugs.

“What are you cooking?” Isak questions as he rounds the table.

“Well, if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He sits back into the chair, his hands falling into his lap as he looks up at Isak, who now stands over Even. Isak places a tentative hand on his shoulder and slowly trails it upwards to rest on his cheek. Even closes his eyes for a moment, savouring Isak’s touch, and nuzzles into his hand.

“Fine. Continue being mysterious.” Isak pouts, earning a chuckle from Even, and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek before exiting the room. He closes the office doors behind him, leaving a blushing Even alone to get some work done before he heads into town.

Isak stops by the kitchen quickly, grabbing a glass and filling it with some water from a pitcher, and quickly adding two peaches to his snacking menu before heading to his room to eat and sleep.

xxx

Isak wakes from his nap hungry and is thankful he grabbed two peaches instead of one.

He lies back in the bed, heart beating fast from his dream of Even and him, and realizes he’s got an embarrassing hard-on that is just begging for some kind of relief. He wonders if Even is back yet - and thinking of him instantly floods in memories of the dream he was just having.

Even hovering over him, their bodies both sweaty and sticky, spent. He remembers the way it felt, and though he’s never been with anyone that way before, there's a part of him that just knows it was amazing. He bites his lip as he thinks of it, anticipation flowing through him, an overwhelming desire as he puts his hands on his stomach.

He looks over at his side table, eyes landing on the peach and he grabs it. He’s about to take a bite when a sudden thought comes to mind — a thought that makes him question his sanity while also turning him on even more.

He looks at it for a few long moments and then lies his head back to look up at the ceiling before making his decision.

With two fingers he gently presses into the top of the peach and is able to push through the flesh, until he finds the pit and takes it out. The juice falls onto his stomach and he brings the peach to his mouth to catch the rest as he places the pit on his side table.

Slowly, he brings the peach down underneath his blanket, using one hand to push his boxers down ever so slightly, gasping once he’s freed himself from its confines.

The side of the peach touches his dick ever so slightly, making him jump, and then he feels a wave of pleasure course through him as he finds the opening to the peach that he made and pushes through, too aroused to care that what he’s doing is something he’ll have to take to his grave with him.

His mind drifts to Even, and he doesn’t last long after that.

Feeling spent, he shakingly puts the peach on the side table as an odd feeling course through him - one of embarrassment and shame but he’s too tired now to fully embrace it, even with the peach sitting there on the table, abused to Isak’s whims. He turns his back towards it, his eyelids heavy, and falls fast asleep.

xxx

He awakes to the feeling of lips kissing his jaw, soft and hot.

He opens his eyes to find Even, and brings his hand up to card through his hair, closing his tired eyes once again. Even hums, mumbling a hello, which Isak just smiles back at, still too tired to respond.

Even kisses his torso, his tongue darting out to lick just below his abdomen, and it makes Isak shudder as he pulls down the blanket, revealing Isak’s half-naked body. It’s then that he realizes he didn’t even pull his boxers back up, and Even meets his eyes, pupils blown wide.

“Can I?” He whispers, one hand slowly moving up his thigh, and Isak nods desperately, unable to form words. He looks positively sinful, his lips parted as he pants just from the sight of Isak, lying there pliant and willing.

Even re-adjusts, situating himself further down the bed and using one hand to spread Isak’s legs a little more, who spreads willingly for him, cheeks flushing at the overwhelming need to do anything for him. Isak keeps one hand in Even’s hair, the other lying by his side, but desperately wanting to reach out and touch.

He watches as Even slowly plants his lips to Isak’s left inner thigh, and then goes on to kiss the right, looking up at Isak momentarily and revelling in the way he shudders underneath his gaze.

A soft whimper escapes Isak just as Even takes him into his mouth, a soft and tight heat that forces Isak’s eyes closed, and he sees stars behind them.

Isak feels all of his breath escape him. He wasn’t expecting this - but fuck it’s amazing. Nothing compares to this. Not even —

The peach Isak thinks suddenly, eyes shooting open in shock as he feels his blood run cold. He looks down at Even, who at that moment looks up at Isak with a curious expression. He pops off of Isak, his lips wet, and narrows his eyes.

“Why does..? What—“ He stops, eyes drifting over to the side table to where Isak was currently glancing towards, alarmed.

Isak’s face goes beet red and he quickly covers his face with his arm, bringing it over his eyes, as if he can shield himself from the situation.

“What did you do?” He asks, sounding amused, but Isak doesn’t want to look at him. He doesn’t want to answer.

“Nothing.” Isak feels the bed dip and peaks out from under his arm to watch as Even leans over him and grabs it before Isak can even think to reach for it himself.

“Is this what I think it is?” Even asks, a smirk on his lips as he examines it. “So you’ve moved onto the plant kingdom, huh?” He teases, and Isak groans. He tries to grab it, but Even’s smile just widens, arm stretching out further from Isak’s reach. 

“I’m sick, aren’t I?” Isak mumbles, and Even shakes his head quickly, dismissing his thoughts.

“Want to see sick?” Even whispers and Isak lies frozen in horror as Even brings two fingers to the opening and pushes in, swirling them around at a tantalizing pace before removing them and placing them on his tongue, making a show of sucking on his fingers.

Isak doesn’t know if he’s more embarrassed or turned on - he’s never felt anything like this before. That seems to be a reoccurrence around Even, and Isak is so overwhelmed that he covers his face and can’t help but begin to cry.

The air shifts, and Even audibly gasps, placing the peach down and pulling Isak’s arm away from his face and bringing a hand to his cheek.

“Fuck, sorry. Was that too far?” He questions, looking between Isak’s eyes for reassurance, and pulling him upright to hold him closer. Isak grabs onto Even’s biceps, squeezing him as he pulls himself up to be closer.

“No…no…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to start fucking crying,” Isak says, trying to dismiss it but Even just holds him tighter. 

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.“

The tears stop, Isak willing them to go away as he wraps his arms around Even’s middle, holding onto him tightly, painfully aware of the fact that he’s still hard and Even might just be too.

Isak’s mind feels blank, and as he holds onto Even, there's only one thought that’s coming to mind.

“I don’t want you to go.” Isak whispers as Even holds him, pulling him impossibly closer as the air hangs.

“What do you mean?” Even asks, moving Isak away just enough to be able to cradle his face in his hands, thumbs wiping over his cheeks. Isak’s groans, sniffing and shifting his weight, pressing against Even. “I’m not going anywhere.” He chuckles as if the thought of him leaving right now is incredulous.

Isak debates for a long moment, not having meant to have said that at all, but now that he did and Even is looking at him curiously, he figures he might as well just continue.

“At the end of summer…where will you be?” Isak asks, his eyelashes still wet with tears and each time he blinks he can feel them falling down his cheeks. Even’s expression changes from one of curiosity to one of shock and the way he stares back at Isak feels like a sting. He gives him a hardened expression, but his hands stay warm, his thumbs still caressing his cheeks lightly.

“I don’t know, Isak.” He answers, and then, despite the weird energy that Isak is surrounded by, Even gives him a smile. A genuine Even smile with his full lips pulled stupidly up and crinkling his eyes, showing off those sharp teeth that Isak loves so much. Most of all, he’s bursting with warmth, with his glow. “We don’t have to think about that. We have time.”

Isak nods, and though it's not the answer he was silently hoping for, he knows it might just have been the next best option.

Even kisses him, once, twice, then a third for good measure, and a fourth to finally elicit a giggle from Isak.

“I have to start cooking but..” He whispers once Isak’s giggles and his own have subsided, and Isak falls back on the bed. Even looks him over, like he’s soaking up the image before him, and Isak feels so fucking warm. In this moment he swears he can see what Even’s thinking as their eyes meet. A silent conversation. “We’ll finish this later.”

A silent promise for later.

xxx

The peach is discarded and Isak is thankful neither of them brings it up again.

He takes a shower as Even goes downstairs to prepare whatever meal he’s planning, and Isak welcomes the scent of what seems to be bacon - but he also smells something sweet.

Isak dresses in a pair of shorts and a white hoodie, and he goes downstairs to find Even in the kitchen, a towel over his shoulder.

Even stops what he’s doing just to walk over and kiss him. Isak preens, and though it only lasts a moment before Even is walking back over to the stove, he’s left feeling dizzy.

“So…what are you cooking? Want any help?” Isak asks, leaning on the counter across from Even, trying to get a glance at what’s on the stove but Even holds his arms out and tries his best to hide it.

He looks beautiful, wearing a billowy red shirt, almost matching the redness of his lips, which look so delicious and inviting, Isak bites his own as he fixates on them. He’s got a wicked grin on his face, and he shakes his head quickly. There's a song playing on the radio, something Italian he’s never heard.

“I told you it’s a surprise! You do know what that is, right?”

“Ugh, fine.” Isak rolls his eyes, standing straight. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

He goes into the living room and sits on the sofa, then huffs and gets back up to turn the television on. He watches some Italian telenovela, where a man has just surprised the woman he loves by showing up at her doorstep at Christmas. He doesn’t know why the hell they’re doing a Christmas episode in the middle of Summer but he sort of loves it nonetheless, he’s a sucker for romance. The woman on screen cries as the man professes his undying love for her and they meet in a passionate kiss.

Even pokes his head around the corner about a half-hour later, and Isak quickly looks up, tearing his eyes away from the couple on screen.

“Dinner is ready, mi amor.” He says, and Isak lets a small giggle escape at the sentiment.

“Okay.” He responds, standing and feeling lightheaded as he turns the television off, and finds Even waiting for him, his hand held out for Isak to take. Their fingers lace and it makes Isak’s pulse quicken.

He leads Isak to the patio, and Isak full-on chokes on air once he steps outside. He’s set up two plates across from each other with some candles in the middle.

“It’s the best I could do. I mean, we’re in Italy after all, so I guess that helps.” Even says and he adds a sheepish smile, squeezing Isak’s hand. Isak brings his hand up to his lips, and kisses the back of his hand sweetly, staring at Even while he does it, and watches the way he melts at the gesture. He’d seen the couple on TV do it and it felt like the right moment.

Even laughs, and then he brings Isak’s hand to his own lips, planting a longer kiss there and Isak becomes a blushing mess.

“Wow, way to steal my move.” Isak responds in the most sarcastic tone he can muster, and it only makes Even laugh harder.

“Come sit.” Even leads him to the table and pulls his seat out for him. Romantic. Isak watches him sit and then finally looks down at the plate before him.

“You made…pancakes?”

“Not just any pancakes, Isak. Bacon pancakes, with blueberry jam, brown sugar butter, and lots of maple syrup.”

“What the fuck? Who thinks of this as a dinner meal?”

“I actually concocted it myself — okay no, that’s a lie. My old roommate in New York took me to this diner and I ordered it off the menu and it was the best thing I ever had. It’s a perfect mix of sweet and salty, just like you.” He winks, but Isak’s mind is running rampant with other thoughts, and he blurts one out before he can think it over.

“You lived in New York?”

“I’ve lived a lot of places, Isak.”

Isak loves the way he says his name.

“Where are you originally from?”

“Norway. You know this. How else would I have studied under your father? How else would I be able to speak perfect Norwegian with you all?”

“Do you ever go back?” Isak asks a little too quickly to be cool. Will you come back? For me? For us? Will there be an us for you to come to?

“Sometimes. My mom still lives there, so I try to go for special occasions, but…it’s rare.” He says the last words quietly and Isak’s throat feels tight. “Why the sudden interview, Isak? Everything… okay?” He reaches his hand across the table, palm facing upwards for Isak to take.

He takes it, but only after looking between Even’s eyes and his awaiting hand for a few long, decision-making moments.

“Everything’s okay.” He nods, and they eat dinner with one hand, their other clasped within one another’s, warm and safe and special. They hold hands throughout the meal.

When Isak takes his first bite, Even is watching with sparkling eyes, awaiting his reaction.

“Oh my god,” Isak moans, already cutting up his next slice and drenching it in syrup. “This is amazing.”

“Right!” Even agrees enthusiastically as he begins to eat.

They eat in comfortable silence, Isak not realizing how hungry he really was until the food was in front of him. It’s hard to eat with one hand, but he’s not complaining, the other still rested in Even’s soft embrace and Isak would do anything to keep it that way. The thought scares him, how determined it is, with the absolute need to know that Even is always going to be there.

He doesn’t want anyone else. The universe has somehow given him the most beautiful and endearing man he could’ve ever hoped for. Isak wants everything Even has to offer. Everything.

He has to let go when Even gets up to clean the dishes, but Isak is quick to stand and help him clear the table, blowing out the candles before they go inside. Even washes the dishes and Isak dries them, like a proper domestic couple. Isak tries his best to hide how excited cleaning dishes with Even makes him. 

After placing the last dish in the cupboard, which Even has to do since its on one of the top shelves, he looks back to Isak, half-way through a story about the time he was in Madrid and his midnight visit to the Crystal Palace, but stops, because Isak is staring at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyes glazed over.

“You okay? Am I boring you?”

“What — oh, no. Of course not. I um..I wanna do something though.” Isak says, unsure exactly where he’s going with this, but Even gives him that familiar amused grin that he loves so much and it’s enough to spark him with an idea.

He holds out his hand, and Even takes it, linking their fingers together intimately and making fire spread up to Isak’s face. 

“Follow me,” He says, trying to sound ominous and intriguing but instead it only comes out as a mere squeak, his eyes fixated on Even’s endless blue stare.

He leads him into the living room and makes him sit on one of the couches, Even's smile still questioning and curious, but Isak answers it by turning towards the piano, striding towards it with feign confidence.

Before he can overthink it, he pulls out the small wooden bench and takes a seat, stretching his fingers over the keys but not daring to press down just yet. He’s almost nervous to touch them, worried they might burn him.

“I haven’t played since last Winter, so I might be a little…rusty,” Isak says quietly, and the sound of Even letting out a small hum of acknowledgement calms his heart only slightly.

“Take your time.” Even says after another minute passes, and Isak is just staring down at the black and white keys in front of him. A few keys are worn from years of use, thinking back to the summer evenings he would spend, when his parents would have guests over and he’d play them song after song until his fingers ached. He misses the feeling.

Isak takes a deep breath, sitting straighter, and his fingers hover over the keys momentarily. 

He closes his eyes and begins. Rêverie by Debussy. Maybe he should’ve gone with a Chopin, or Beethoven’s Fur Elise. But he’s already begun the melody, his fingers flowing across the keys and his foot pressing against the pedals. It’s not a difficult piece, if anything Isak would use it as a warm-up, something beautiful to lift his soul into oblivion.

He’s lost in the daydream of it, the way the sound flows through the tips of his fingers to the tips of his ears, his toes, his eyelashes. He’s grateful that the piano is still in tune.

His head is swimming, the heat of nerves turning into a frenzy need to play, though he keeps the tempo slow, loving. He almost breaks halfway, desperate to play out whole Sonatas for Even. The feeling is intoxicating, addictive, he’s missed this more than he thought. He’s positively thriving, reeling in the fact that he’s playing it for Even.

When he finishes, he holds his breath, taking a few moments before he looks over to find Even. He’s no longer sitting, now standing only a few feet from Isak, his lips parted, eyes filled with tears, as he gazes from Isak’s hands to meet his eyes.

“You’ve been hiding this on me?” He whispers, almost as if he doesn’t want to disturb the peace.

“I…I…Um.“ Isak tries to say something, but he only ends up a stuttering mess. Everything he wants to say dies in the middle of his throat. 

Even breaks out into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and he rushes towards him. Isak turns halfway in his seat as Even’s hands, soft and warm and heavy, press into his cheeks, holding him carefully, his eyes observing every fraction of Isak’s features. 

“That was beautiful. I’d happily listen to you play for hours. Days, if you want.”

He leans forward, pressing his forehead against Isak’s and smiling once again as Isak breathes in, hands coming up to curl around Even’s wrists, grounding him into the moment. Isak tilts up, their noses brush and Even presses forward, his lips meeting Isak’s and they melt against one another.

“Bedroom?” Isak whispers against his lips, and Even chuckles, the heat of his laugh brushing against Isak’s face.

“Bedroom.” He responds, and takes Isak’s hand as he stands from the piano bench, kicking it in with his foot before they leave the room.

Isak practically pounces on Even once they get into his room, letting the door slam closed behind them without care, no one is around to hear it this time. It’s just them. Isak wants to take full advantage of their time, and now, it almost seems like they’ve been wasting the whole day away.

Why swim? Why read? Why do anything when he could have been kissing Even? Why breathe? Why live without his hands, his mouth, without every part of him pressed against Even? Everything seems so insignificant compared to him, and it all is.

Even quickly holds him, arms coming to wrap underneath Isak’s thighs and hoist him up with ease, carrying him over to the bed as Isak kisses him sweetly, fingers tangling in Even’s hair, locking his ankles around his back and pressing into him as deep as he can, savouring the sweet taste of syrup still lingering on Even’s tongue.

He falls back onto the bed with a huff, Even hovering over him, kissing his cheek and across his jaw, stopping at his neck to suck and bite at the soft skin there. Isak moans and tilts his head, giving Even as much access to his neck as possible. His legs still locked around Even’s waist, but he still feels too far from him. He arches his back up, feeling Even’s growing length press into his own and it’s just not enough.

Nimble fingers move down and begin unbuttoning Even’s shirt, a sudden desperate need taking over him, fumbling over each button and he groans as Even’s hands, the tips of his fingers almost icy to the touch, roam underneath his hoodie and hike it up his torso slowly.

“Shirt. Off.” Isak commands and Even chuckles, looking up at Isak, halting his movements, and Isak holds back a whine as he feels his fingers press into him. His stomach flexes, because it feels ticklish as much as it feels good. It’s too much and not enough.

“We can take it slow, baby.” He whispers, kissing Isak’s cheek, and then his mouth, his tongue pushing past Isak’s lips and he moans around them as Isak easily lets him through, as if he’d ever protest to having Even’s tongue in his mouth. God, that thought alone makes Isak blush, at the fact that Even is touching him, kissing him, biting him, wanting him just as much.

He gets the last button done, and quickly begins to push back Even’s shirt, throwing it to the side. He sits up, just enough for Even to pull his hoodie over his head, and their mouths find one another quickly, feverishly kissing despite Even’s notion to take it slow. We can take it slow another time, Isak thinks.

Even begins kissing down his chest, and Isak throws his head back, each kiss sending sparks throughout his body as Even’s hands work their way to the hem of Isak’s shorts, slowly pulling them down. Isak is forced to let his legs drop from Even’s back, instead moving his hands to touch Even, fingers carding through his hair.

He kisses Isak’s hips, working his way down his thighs, and Isak can’t hold back from whining now, almost thrusting his hips up in a desperate attempt to get Even’s mouth where he really needs him. He hears Even chuckle, but it’s the only recognition he gives him.

He takes his time though, his promise of taking it slow, and as he pulls off Isak’s shorts, he peppers kisses along the way, on the inner sides of his thighs, a sweet spot beside his knee, down his calves and then to his ankles before he throws the shorts off the bed.

He sits back, and Isak feels a blush take over as Even’s eyes rake over his naked body, his lips parted and wet, hair a mussed mess, all from Isak. His hand wraps around Isak’s ankle, pressing his thumb against him and it’s almost as if Isak can feel the breath escaping him.

“So beautiful.” Even whispers, and bends over to begin kissing his way back up Isak’s body until they’re chest to chest, and Isak hesitantly looks towards the doorway where Emma had stood only days earlier, finding them in a less precarious position than the one they’re in now. Fuck, right now he doesn’t care if someone were to walk in, even though he knows nobody will, because there's nothing that could stop them right now.

He sighs, feeling the nerves and tension dissipate, a relief that floods over him because they truly are alone right now. Nobody is here, nobody is going to catch them. Isak is so fucking pleased.

He kisses Even, hands pressing to his cheeks and pulling him up just as Even grinds down. Isak mouth falls open and Even licks into it, moaning in response to the first real friction they’ve let themselves have so far, and Isak prays it won’t be the last.

“Pants off?” Isak whispers, and then chuckles, Even following along with a small grin, eyes darkening as he lets Isak’s hands pull them down. It's a bit of a struggle, but once it’s over his ass they go quickly, and Isak lets them fall off the side of the bed.

Isak tries to breathe, tries to let himself do anything other than going completely pliant at his touch, at the feeling of Even’s hands wrapping around their hard lengths, giving a squeeze and a tug.

“Fuck,” Isak curses, biting his lip. Even brings his other hand to hold Isak’s jaw, his thumb pressing in-between Isak’s lips and Isak begins to suck quickly, willingly, amazed at himself with how well he’s able to hold Even’s gaze. His pupils are blown wide, soft grunts fall from his lips as his hand moves faster, his finger pressing down on Isak’s tongue which tries to swirl around the digit.

“What do you want, baby?” Even asks, removing his thumb and Isak takes a deep breath.

“Whatever you want.” He responds, feeling completely at Even’s mercy, his voice sounds strained, already wrecked despite barely having done anything at all.

“I want you inside me.” He whispers, and Isak tries not to let his jaw drop be so dramatic. Even chuckles, “Is that alright?” He asks, bending over to kiss Isak’s temple and the shell of his ear, biting on the lobe softly.

“Always.” Isak breathes out.

And suddenly, it’s no longer slow, as Even inserts two fingers in his mouth, Isak quickly accepting them, swirling his tongue as much as he can and Even presses deeper, Isak nearly gagging, but moaning nonetheless. If anything, he wants Even to press deeper, dive further, he’s willing to give all of himself and more. He’s completely succumbed to Even’s whims, and he’ll do anything to keep it that way.

Once they’re wet Even brings them behind himself, and Isak watches with heavy eyes as he inserts the fingers into himself without any other prep, his eyes squeezing closed at the intrusion, his fingers inadvertently tightening their grasp around their heated cocks and Isak whines, overwhelmed with pleasure.

Isak brings his hand down tentatively, wrapping his hand around Even’s and keeping the motions going, a slow and definitive pace. He watches as Even pushes himself back on his fingers, his hair falling over his forehead, their bodies hot and sweaty and slick.

“You’re so perfect.” Isak whispers, feeling his cheeks flush at the sentiment, his free hand roaming over Even’s torso, revelling in the way his words and his touch affect Even, who looks positively obscene with his mouth hanging open, soft pants escaping, looking down at Isak as his hand works desperately to open himself up. He rests his hand against Even’s hip, squeezing it just as Even thrusts back onto his fingers.

A few minutes pass, and Isak stills his hand because he’s already so close and he doesn’t want to come just yet, he wants to savour as much of this as he can.

Even moves off of him, only to move towards his side table and rifle through it before expelling some of the contents.

“When did you get these?” Isak asks, watching as Even tears the condom open and slides down Isak’s body, kissing his abdomen lightly. He tries not to get caught in the thought of Even wrapped up in someone else.

“Today.” Even responds cooly, quickly. “I wasn’t expecting anything, but I wanted to be prepared.” He whispers, the words falling over Isak like an embrace. He winks at him, making Isak squirm.

Even wraps his hand around Isak again, watching intently as Isak sighs at the touch, his hand hot around him and tugging so slowly that every move feels slow like molasses.

He licks the head of his cock and Isak’s hips jump up at the contact, a string of sounds falling from him and he is too overwhelmed to feel ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even doesn’t protest, if anything, he seems to be egging him on, trying to get all the sounds out of him as he can.

Even takes him into his mouth, once again enveloping Isak into the soft and wet heat of Even’s delicious mouth, watching as his lips pucker, plush around him, stretching over him. It only lasts a few moments, a tease, and he pops off Isak, leaving him feeling cold and hot at the same time.

He pulls the condom over him, and then slides back up, kissing Isak and Isak can taste himself on Even’s tongue, something he didn’t know would turn him on as much as it does. He wonders what Even tastes like, and stores the thought away for later. He’ll get his mouth around Even soon enough, he’ll die if he doesn’t.

He lines Isak up, and slowly sits back, spitting on his hand and lubing Isak up with it before Isak feels the head of his cock beginning to breach, and Isak sighs, hands squeezing Even’s thighs as he tries desperately not to come right then. He’s surprised at how well he’s already doing, surprising himself with his stamina.

“Look at me, baby.” Even pants out, and Isak forces his eyes open, watching as Even lowers himself onto Isak, the heat and the tightness of it all practically sucking the soul out of Isak, and he welcomes it happily. “Is this okay?” He asks, and Isak wants to laugh.

“Yes.” He responds. “Fuck, Even.” He moans as Even finally sits back, Isak throbbing inside of him. Holy fuck, I’m inside of him, Isak thinks, and he thrusts up involuntarily, watching as Even shudders with a whine. “Sorry.” He whispers, squeezing so hard on Even’s thighs he knows he might just leave bruises.

Even places his hands on Isak’s chest, shaking his head down at Isak.

“Don’t apologize.” He whispers, fingers curling as he begins to swirl his hips experimentally, completely bottomed out with Isak inside of him, getting used to the stretch. He moans, head lolling forward. “You feel so good.” He whispers, and Isak bites the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t — I don’t know how — how long—“ Isak tries, the words failing him, and Even leans down, brushing his lips across Isak’s jaw.

“We have all night.” He whispers as he begins to fuck himself back a bit quicker on Isak, and Isak almost wishes he could see it, watch his dick slipping in and out of Even, but he’s too mesmerized by the sight in front of him, as Even lets out small pants, his hand wrapping around himself as he stares into Isak’s eyes, biting his lip in desperation and need.

Isak slowly meets him on his thrusts, and soon the rhythm between them is anything but slow, and though they have all night, Isak is too wrapped up in the now to care. Even falls forward, letting Isak take control as he fucks up into him, the sound of skin slapping and their panted breaths filling the room.

Isak kisses his shoulder, since its the only thing he can reach, and it makes Even turn to him, slack-jawed and wide eyes, pushing back the sweaty curls from Isak’s forehead, tugging on his hair and Isak moans loudly, no longer holding back.

It feels like hours, days, and really it's only a few minutes until they’re panting into each other's mouths as they both release, Isak first, and Even follows quickly after, their mouths meeting passionately and roughly.

When Even comes, Isak feels the world slow down, the tight heat that surrounds him feeling impossibly tighter, better. But that’s not even the best part. The sounds that fall from his lips, and the way his eyes squeeze shut mesmerizes Isak to the point where he doesn’t even remember his own release anymore, too focused on how Even looks, chanting out a small string of Isak’s name like a prayer. It’s better than any orgasm he could’ve had, any dream he could’ve dreamt of this moment. It’s beyond his imagination, his wildest thoughts. Even is so fucking radiant, he’s the sun, he’s everything.

Even collapses on Isak, and Isak whines as he slips out of him, his whole body still radiating heat and want.

Slowly, Even comes back to him, looking so blissed out as he caresses the side of Isak’s face, their stomachs coated with a stickiness that neither moves to clean just yet. Isak has a hard time breathing properly with Even pressed against him, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want him to move.

Even slowly sits up, peppering a few kisses across his cheek as he does, and then moves off the bed. Isak is suddenly overwhelmed with a cold that seeps into him, and he sits up, leaning back on his elbows, feeling dizzy at the prospect of having to do anything other than lie there. His whole body feels weak and overused, but he couldn’t possibly want anything less.

“Where are you going?” Isak asks, Even just chuckles in response as he moves across the room, his butt jiggling with each step as he opens a random drawer and plucks out a shirt, wiping at his chest and then moving back over to Isak, cleaning his chest as well and removing the condom. He throws it in a bin and leaves the shirt on the floor along with their discarded pile of clothes from earlier.

“Nowhere, baby.” He responds as he comes back into the bed, lying down next to him, and Isak rolls over into his arms, laying his head in the crook of his neck and kissing the warm skin there, still slightly wet with sweat and Even hums. “You’re stuck with me.” Even whispers, throwing a leg over Isak and tangling them even further in one another. They’re both stark naked, still sweaty, but neither want that to change.

“Was I good?” Isak asks, slowly finding his breath again. He looks up at Even, who brings a hand to smooth over Isak’s brow. He looks at him in awe, and he lets out a small chuckle.

“Fuck, Isak. You were better than good.” He says earnestly, and Isak chuckles, kissing Even’s jaw. Even shifts, their bodies still impossibly intertwined, but now they’re face to face, noses brushing against one another.

“Do you want to sleep?” Even whispers, his hand rested on the side of Isak’s face, his thumb running along his cheek in a repeated, slow pattern that makes Isak feel like he’s in a dream.

“As long as you’re still here in the morning.”

“I told you you're stuck with me.” He repeats softly, the words dripping from his mouth and into Isak who sinks, melts, against Even.

He looks down at the clothing, and the shirt Even picked out to clean them.

“You wore that shirt when you first arrived.” Isak whispers, a fond memory of those first few weeks which he’d despised Even. He hates himself for it, he wasted so much time. “Will you give it to me before you go?” Isak asks.

Even’s jaw clenches, and he parts his lips to speak, but then closes them again, blinking a few times, his expression unreadable.

“Sure.” He says, his voice sounding strained, but Isak is way too spent at this moment to possibly try and dissect it. Instead, he closes his eyes, curling further into Even who pulls him impossibly closer, pressing soft kisses to his eyelids.

He doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep, it only feels like he closes his eyes for a minute, but when he opens them again, he can see the room is no longer dark, the window letting in the light of early morning, blue dawn. 

He feels Even’s hand drawing soft circles on his back, and slowly lifts his head from his chest to find Even looking down at him, his hair still stuck up in different directions.

“Morning.” Even whispers, “How’d you sleep?”

“You’re still here, so I slept great.” He responds truthfully. He doesn’t think he’s ever slept better.

“Of course I am.” Even says, and then brings his hand to push back Isak’s hair, fingers massaging into his scalp lightly.

“How’d you sleep?” Isak questions, and Even chuckles tiredly.

“It was restless, but with you here it was comfortable. Are you hungry? I can make us some eggs.”

Isak shrugs, “Sure.”

Even begins to move, and Isak is forced to let him go, watching as he moves over to his drawer and pulls on a pair of boxers and a tee.

“You go shower, I’ll start cooking.” He says, and then suddenly he’s gone before Isak can say anymore.

Isak sits up, feeling odd, confused, still spent from the night's events. He feels like they almost wasted time sleeping, but from the sounds of it, Even didn’t sleep.

He gets out of bed slowly, stretching his arms over his head and going over to the window to let in some fresh air as he picks up the clothes and throws them in the hamper. He stops by the bin, seeing the used condom, and picks that up too. He’ll throw it out himself, he doesn’t need his mother finding that.

He goes over to Even’s side drawer, where he’d kept the box of condoms, and waits a moment, listening if Even might be walking back down the hall to fetch him. When nothing comes, he opens it.

He sees the box, and his cheeks flush, anticipating when they could use them again, and next time he wants Even —

He doesn’t finish that thought, instead, his eyes land on a small orange tube, and he picks it up, the pills inside rattling as he does. He turns it over in his hands, his eyes landing on the label after skimming over the side-effects.

Even Bech Næsheim

Take 2 tablets twice daily