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Without You

Summary:

Kevin's band The Lord's Prophets, was given a record deal and whisked away to Los Angeles. Claire decided they should see other people. Kevin and his guitar have other ideas.

Notes:

Based on the Jason Manns song Without You

Written for the Jason Manns Project

Work Text:

“I’m Meg Masters, and this is New Blood, where we get to know LA’s newest up and coming musicians. Today, I’m here with Kevin Tran of The Lord’s Prophets, a band that did punk covers of classic rock in a nowhere college town, now turned, dare I say it, poetic and melodic. Not that I have anything against punk music, it’s just, this band took a serious 180. Kevin, what can you tell us about the change to your band’s style and their new found fame?”

Kevin chuckled at Meg’s brash style. “You know, it was in that nowhere college town where it all started. After a show one night, I met my muse. She would barely give me the time of day, but I couldn’t get her out of my head.”

“She inspired your hit song ‘Hold on Me,’ right?” Meg asked.

Kevin nodded. “Yeah.”

***

A day or two after the interview, Kevin was slumped over his guitar, sitting on the faux leather sofa in the studio apartment the record producers in Los Angeles had put him up in. He remembered the day he got the call, some A&R man had seen his band playing, and while he enjoyed the band’s punk rendition of classic rock songs, it was Kevin’s more melodic and emotional original music that got the dude’s attention. He asked the band to fly out to LA, if they could make it in the LA music scene, they could make it anywhere. Claire had been nothing but supportive and encouraging. That was six weeks ago.

The interview with Meg Masters had sparked something in Kevin, and he let his mind drift back to that last morning with Claire, before he headed to the airport with the rest of the band. Lyrics and melody flooded his brain.

Sunlight falls across your back; and I can’t move, I can’t react.

Do you know what you’d do to me if you could love me completely?

Not for long, I’ve been with you, but I feel like I was made for you.

Do you know what you’d do to me if you could love me completely?

That morning, the sun was bright and shone in through the tiny window in Claire’s dorm room. It streamed over her golden locks, and down her back, which appeared bare, with the way her hair and the blanket fell over it. Of course, Kevin knew underneath all of that was a spaghetti strapped camisole and striped boxer shorts. Claire never let anyone see her nude. She’d seen Kevin dozens and dozens of times. She always took care of his needs, even though they’d never made love.

Later that day, after they’d dressed and gotten something to eat, as they were waiting for the limo to whisk him and his band to airport, Claire said the most unexpected thing. “While you’re in LA, I think we should see other people.”

Kevin knew Claire well enough to know she wouldn’t be dating anyone else while he was gone, so he was slightly taken aback. “What for?”

“Look, you shouldn’t be beholden to me when you’re sure to have plenty of groupies throwing themselves at you. Go, have fun, be a rock star.” She said simply, then kissed his cheek as the limo called, announcing its presence.

“O…k…” was Kevin’s reply as Claire ushered him into the hall.

***

That was the last conversation they’d had; and he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since.

He started strumming his guitar absently, humming to himself and singing softly as words came to him.

I can’t explain how I feel about you.

All I know is that I can’t live without you.

Without you…..

He tried to put his feelings to music, into the song, but it was impossible. As he was writing and scratching things out, his best friend and bass player, Josephine burst into his apartment without knocking.

“What’cha working on?”

Kevin shrugged. “A new song.”

“For Claire?” Josephine asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Yeah. I can’t get her out of my head.”

Josephine snagged the paper from his hand. “Come on, dude. She broke up with you. You should really get out and live a little.”

He snatched the paper back. “How many times do we need to have this conversation? She did not break up with me. She told me to see other people because she thought that’s what I would want. I don’t. I don’t need to ‘live a little.’ I did that too much before I met Claire. You go live a little.”

Josephine sat on the couch next to him and patted his knee. “Well, whatever. You really shouldn’t spend all your free time here alone, pining.”

“I’m not pining. I’m writing. Now go away.”

“Fine.” Josephine left without another word.

I can’t even think of words to say,

So complicated when you’re 3000 miles away.

People say that I should just let you go…

But I won’t, ‘cause I can’t, and I thought you should know…

Because you fill my heart with joy.

And ‘cause you made a man out of this boy.

And ‘cause you will forever be on my mind.

And ‘cause you will forever hold my heart.

Suddenly, the words did come. Everything he felt, things he wanted to say to Claire, to thank her for. Before he met her, he was immature, flitting from hook up to hook up. Being faced with a real emotional connection, it made him grow as person. She taught him how to love.

***

For months, Claire was moping around her dorm room. But at least her grades were better than ever. No longer having the distraction of a dating life gave her more time to be the nerd she always was. Not that her grades ever fell below a “B,” but her dads were thrilled that her 4.0 GPA was back. Her roommate Krissy was less than impressed.

“So, you’re back to being a dorm gnome again? You don’t even come to the dining hall anymore. Are you even eating?” Krissy asked one day.

Claire wordless held up a bag of chips and a box of Apple Jacks.

“That’s not food.” Krissy sighed as she flopped onto her bed and clicked on the TV. “Oh, look, Kevin’s back on that music show with Meg Masters.”

“Oh yeah, is she flirting with him again?” Claire asked grumpily.

“I thought you didn’t care who flirted with him anymore.”

“I don’t,” she said as she shoved a chip into her mouth and crunched noisily.

The girls fell into silence after that, the TV droning in the background.

“So I hear you have a new song to share with us,” Meg said to Kevin as he pulled out his guitar.

“Yeah,” he nodded with excitement.

“Can we thank your muse for this one too?”

“Definitely.”

As Kevin’s new song started playing, Krissy cranked up the volume until his voice and guitar filled their tiny room. Claire finally took her nose out of her books and stared at the TV, transfixed. When the final notes of the song filtered out of the speakers, Krissy just looked at Claire.

“You know that’s about you, right?”

“Yes,” she breathed. In a flash, she pulled her suitcase out from under her bed and started throwing clothes into it.

Krissy slid off of her own bed and took out her own suitcase. “We’re flying to LA, aren’t we?”

“Well, I am. Come along if you must.”

“Are you kidding? I am not missing this!”

 

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