Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time Thomas kissed Newt was two years ago.

He had been taking his second semester at a new college when he met Siggy in his welding class. He and Siggy became good friends in the class, and Thomas was grateful for it. The men in his welding class were pretty intimidating and hardcore, and his roommates were never home. Siggy was welcome company after months of loneliness, and he liked hearing about all of the crazy stories of his roommates, Minho and Newt.

Siggy lived in the college dorms right next to him, and Thomas always gave him a ride home after class. One day, after a late night of welding, Siggy had invited him back to his place. Minho was throwing a party, and he knew Thomas needed a few more friends. He also kept insisting that his friends wanted to meet him, and that they heard just as much about Thomas as he had about them.

There he met Siggy’s roommates, Minho and Newt, for the first time. And there, that night, is when he kissed Newt for the first time.

It was an accident, really. He had accidentally stepped into a game of spin the bottle and the bottle had knocked against his foot. Everyone on the floor who was playing the childish game insisted that he had to participate since he had barged in, but he had declined. He kept declining until they claimed that since he didn’t want to sit and join the game, he had to kiss the next person who walked through the door.

That person, Thomas realized with a sinking heart, happened to be the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

Newt had pushed through the door a few moments later, cheeks flushed from drinking and a smile on his face, and had walked unknowingly right into Thomas’ heart.

He was just… something else. He had the brightest smile, and the warmest laugh he had ever heard. He was all legs and fluffy blonde hair, and Thomas was whipped within a second of catching sight of him. He was even more hypnotized when Newt turned to look at the whole group on the floor, who was now calling his name and beckoning him over to them. Thomas could see his glittering, beautiful warm eyes from across the room.

Thomas began shushing everyone sitting on the floor as the blonde began making his way through the crowd of people in the small room towards them. His hands began to sweat and shake, and he suddenly felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

“Hey Newt! We have someone here that-”

Newt! That was Siggy’s best friend! There was no way that this could possibly be happening. Of course Siggy’s roommate was the most attractive man Thomas had ever seen.

“No!” Thomas hissed, quickly backing up and attempting to step backwards over the people sitting on the floor. He had tried to catch eyes with someone; tried to show them how serious he was about not having them call him over. “I’ll just be leaving.”

Newt had finally reached them, and was standing on the outskirts of the circle. He locked eyes with Thomas, and gave him a curious smile. Newt was looking down at him just slightly, having about two inches on him.

Those chocolate eyes seemed to look right through him, beautiful and full of life. He was even more beautiful up close, Thomas realized to his dismay. He was ethereal.

And he was staring at Thomas as if he knew him.

“You must be Thomas,” Newt said, his accent surprising him. His voice was even beautiful; not too deep, and honey coated. He spoke slowly and calmly, despite being a bit tipsy. His cheeks were a rosy color, and his eyes a bit glossy. “Siggy won’t shut up about you.”

“Uh,” Thomas muttered, words seeming to fail him. He nodded quickly, almost causing himself to go dizzy from the motion. Siggy had given him a few shots already, and he was already feeling a bit lopsided. Having Newt so close wasn’t helping, either. “Yeah.”

“He kicked the bottle,” A girl from the floor spoke up, looking up at Newt with a tipsy grin. She had pink hair and a bright smile, and Thomas wanted to reach out and kick her. Newt raised his eyebrows down at her, obviously entertained by the situation.

“Oh, really? And I was the person to walk through the door, then?” Newt asked, glancing over at Thomas through his long eyelashes. Thomas was speechless, and stood there like an idiot. Newt seemed to know exactly what they were expecting of them, and why the group on the floor had called him over. And he didn’t mind.

Newt sighed dramatically, but playfully, before raising his head and shrugging those broad shoulders of his. His hair gently fell onto his forehead from the motion, and he gave a lopsided and tipsy grin at Thomas from across the group.

“You’re not homophobic, are you Tommy?” Newt asked, those glossy eyes gleaming. Without waiting for a response, he gracefully stepped over a few limbs with those long legs, and stepped into the circle.

Thomas was surprised at how coordinated the blonde was. His face indicated that he was pretty far gone, but his motions were graceful and precise.

Before Thomas could react, or even think for that matter, Newt reached out and curled a few long fingers across the nape of his neck. The warmth of his fingers caused a shiver to run down Thomas’ spine.

He leaned forward, and pressed a soft and quick peck to Thomas’ lips before pulling away and laughing with the rest of the group.

Then, he was gone, and Thomas was left to stand there without any thoughts or words to even wrack around in his brain.

The taste and smell of strawberry chapstick, he would later find out, was Newt’s signature scent. He would also eventually find out that Newt religiously bought the chapstick at the dingy gas station down the street from their college. He would find many tubes in his car and his dorm much later in the upcoming two years.

The scent and taste of strawberry had lingered with him from that night.

Newt would eventually be his gay awakening. His world had tilted on its axis that night. That kiss had sent him spiraling and confused. He had never really questioned his sexuality before, but after that night, he couldn’t stop questioning it.

He had a girlfriend back home. Brenda. He had even called her up that night to tell her about the kiss. She had just laughed.

They broke up three days later.

The four boys: Thomas, Siggy, Minho, and Newt would become best friends from that night on. The boys would all joke about their kiss, but nothing else came out of it. No one took it seriously. No one but Thomas.

So, that was the first time Thomas had kissed Newt.

He had no idea that he would one day do it again.

***

Two years later, almost even to the exact day, Thomas had to wake Newt from the backseat. They were currently somewhere in New Mexico, where the days were brutally hot and the nights freezing cold. Minho had been driving for the past few hours and Thomas sat up front, leaving Newt able to sprawl out and nap across the back seats.

They were at a cheap motel, with the bright neon “vacancy” sign the only safe haven that they could see in the distance. Minho was bringing a few bags up to the room when Thomas attempted to wake his best friend in the back seat.

Newt was sprawled out, all long limbs and messy hair. His blonde hair was almost falling into his eyes, and his lips were pouted slightly in his sleep. He had curled into the seats perfectly, his long legs somehow managing to fit. They went up to Thomas’ eyeballs, for God’s sake, and Newt was only about two inches taller than him.

While he stared down at him, Thomas knew that he wanted to kiss those slightly pouted lips more than anything.

“Wake up,” Thomas muttered, shaking the blondes foot. Newt had on his Christmas cat socks (the ones that he loved so much) and a pair of grey shorts. He must have been freezing.

Thomas tried again, shaking the blondes foot more roughly. Newt, the heaviest sleeper, only deepened his pout and made a low noise in his throat. Thomas tried to hide a smile as he smacked Newt’s thigh.

Newt groaned, throwing one of his long arms over his eyes.

“Let’s go, Newtie boy. We have to carry all our shit upstairs.”

“Who shit upstairs?” Newt mumbled, his voice deep from sleep and his eyes still not opening as he slowly sat up. He had no idea the effect his voice had on Thomas in that moment. His heart raced at the sound, as always. Like it always did around his best friend.

“Me. On top of Minho,” Newt’s eyes slowly opened to peer up at him, thoroughly confused in his dazed state. Thomas slapped the cats on his socks once more. “Now let’s go, Christmas boy. I can’t carry all the bags myself.”

As soon as they carried the rest of the bags upstairs with Newt slightly slow and disoriented as he woke up, they found Minho waiting for them. He looked exhausted, and ready to collapse.

Minho, Thomas, and Newt played rock paper scissors for the empty bed. There were only two in the dingy, old, dirty motel room, and each boy wanted their own.

They were both supposedly queen size, but they appeared to be closer to a twin. Thomas dreaded sharing a bed that small with Newt. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if they were that close, sharing body heat through the cold night.

Naturally, Thomas lost first. Of course.

Then, Newt lost.

Thomas tried his best to calm his heart as an exhausted Minho collapsed on the bed farthest from the window, where the neon “vacancy” sign cast a bright light through the tightly bound, dirty white shades. Minho was asleep and snoring within moments, causing Newt to laugh.

He didn’t seem at all affected by the fact that they had to share a bed. It might not affect him, but it was making Thomas’ head spin and his stomach clench.

“He’s such a lug,” Newt muttered, moving around Thomas and making his way to the brightly lit window. Thomas caught a hint of strawberry as he passed, and his abdomen seemed to curl in on itself even more, if possible. “I can’t believe we got the bright-ass window.”

“I’m not even tired,” Thomas admitted, flopping down onto the bed as Newt pulled the blinds open to peek outside.

“I’m not either,” Newt agreed, still peeking out of the small window. He hummed in the back of his throat as he closed the blinds and turned towards Thomas. “I wonder what Siggy’s doing right now. Probably roasting in bed, I reckon.”

The whole reason they were on this road trip was to go to New Orleans for Siggy’s sister’s birthday. It was a hot summer in California, and they knew that New Orleans had an even worse humidity rate. At least the night air in New Mexico was chilly tonight, unlike how hot the nights would be when they got into Louisiana. They would have to soak up the cool air and enjoy it while it lasted.

“I can find a movie if you want,” Thomas muttered, turning on the bed to fumble for the remote on the nightstand. Newt hummed an agreement.

“Do you have any change Tommy? I thought I saw a vending machine downstairs and I’m bloody starving.”

Thomas hoisted himself off of the bed, turning away from the TV and looking toward Newt and the luggage. The sight in front of him made his heart drop and his head feel dizzy.

Newt had shed off his shorts, and was standing there in his black briefs. He was searching through Thomas’ luggage (without permission of course) and had his back to him. Thomas could see his lean back muscles moving under the dark green fabric of his shirt. The exposed skin on his thighs and legs left Thomas breathless.

“I’m stealing a pair of your sweatpants,” Newt declared, continuing to ruffle through the big bright pink luggage that Thomas had stolen from his twin sister, Teresa. “I forgot mine.”

“Yeah, go for it.” His voice came out surprisingly steady despite him being extremely anxious. He couldn’t seem to catch his damn breath as he continued to stare at the blonde’s back.

Thomas’ heart beat rapidly as he heard the zippers being pulled apart on his luggage. They had shared clothes multiple times before, despite Newt being about two inches taller, but the thought of sharing clothes and a bed with Newt was causing him to panic.

Thomas, lost in thought, only realized that he was still frozen in place when Newt spoke up.

“Where’s your bloody change? You usually have your little coin purse in here.”

Thomas’ ears flamed. He walked towards Newt, pretending not to be transfixed by the sight of the blonde’s milky colored skin. He was a bro to Newt. That was all. He had to start acting like it. He at least had to start pretending to act like it.

“It’s here,” Thomas muttered, reaching for the small compartment on the side of the bright pink luggage. He found purchase of his small coin purse and yanked it out. Spider-Man stared up at him. “Did you find the sweatpants?”

Newt’s shoulder was now pressed against his, and the contact of their bare skin at their arms caused a rush to run through Thomas and down his spine.

“Yep. Found my favorite, too.”

Thomas glanced over and laughed at the material in Newt’s hand. Newt had given him a dreaded pair of minion sweatpants for Christmas last year, and Thomas wore them constantly. They both shared a mutual hate for the yellow demons, but Thomas loved the sweatpants.

They were from Newt, after all.

“Perfect,” Thomas agreed, averting his eyes as Newt pulled on the minion sweatpants. He walked over to the door, glancing down at Minho as he passed. He was snoring loudly, arms tossed over his head and his legs crossed.

“I don’t know how he’s doing that,” Newt muttered, shaking his head disapprovingly as he approached Thomas. “So gross.”

Newt hated germs. Hated. No one would catch him dead on a hotel bed without his own blanket covering the top one. Newt would bring his own pillow, blankets, sheets, and would not even touch the floor with his socks. He brought his sandal slides with him everywhere, and today was no exception. Thomas could see the Christmas cats staring up at him from the slides.

“Don’t worry, we’ll put a blanket,” Thomas assured him, grabbing the door and yanking it open. “Did you grab the key card?”

A response came as a sharp jab between his shoulder blades. Thomas turned to snatch the keycard, causing Newt to snicker.

The boys took an abnormally long walk around the motel to find the vending machine. Even though they had only seen one side of the motel as they came in, Newt had insisted that it was around the whole building. Thomas had a feeling that Newt just wanted to walk around and kill some time, but he couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe he was having another one of his nights again.

They talked and joked as they walked through the chilly air, circling the building twice. When they finally found the vending machine, which was just down the hallway from their room, they bought a few snacks for the night. Newt was an Oreo fanatic, so he bought two. Thomas bought a bag of chips and some skittles, and they agreed to get Minho some gummy worms. Those were his favorite.

While they were walking back to their room, they also caught sight of a small office with no one inside. They stole two cups of hot chocolate from the small machine, and quickly sped-walked back to their room. In the process, Newt had spilled a bit of hot chocolate on a minion’s face, which they laughed at for about ten minutes afterward.

Thomas seemed to forget about the fact that they were sharing a bed until they reached the motel door again. He slid the keycard through room 65’s keypad with shaking hands before pushing it open.

They were met with the low sound of the TV and Minho’s snoring. Newt pushed past Thomas, eager to lay down. He walked over to his luggage to pull out his sleeping blanket, and threw it over the motel bed. As soon as it was laid out, Thomas hopped onto it.

Newt let out a sudden laugh.

“I’ve never seen this. Willing to have a bad movie night?”

On the screen was the first Twilight movie. Thomas had never seen it, and he hadn’t planned on it, but making fun of a movie with Newt by his side sounded like a nice time. He glanced over at Newt, who made his way to the bed, plopping down next to Thomas without hesitation.

“Only if you tell me if you’re team Edward or Jacob,” Thomas teased, eyes flickering over to Newt.

Those chocolate eyes were watching the screen, so Thomas was able to admire him for a while.

He was the most gorgeous person Thomas had ever seen. The fact that he was wearing his clothes, despite the hot chocolate stain, caused goosebumps to erupt on his skin. It was a cold night in New Mexico, due to them being in the desert, but the goosebumps were all because of Newt.

“I’m team neither. I don’t even know what they’re like,” Newt grinned at the screen. He pulled out an Oreo and began his weird twist and lick ritual. “You’re a fan?”

“Not at all,” Thomas laughed. “So this should be fun.”

They sat there in silence as they watched the movie, laughing occasionally at the bad acting and the unrealistic scenes. Newt seemed to love the movie, ironically of course. He was the biggest fan of bad movies, and they’d had multiple movie nights of them before.

About an hour passed, and Thomas still couldn’t keep his mind off of Newt next to him. He could catch a whiff of his scent if he searched for it desperately enough, and their thighs were gently pressed together. Even though Thomas had a pair of sweats on as well, he could still feel the dull burn of Newt’s body heat on his thigh.

“This movie really needs to improve on their acting,” Newt muttered, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “The dad is nice, though.”

“We’ve watched about an hour of this and that’s the only nice thing you have to say?” Thomas laughed. He glanced over at Newt, but quickly looked away as soon as he saw how close the blonde’s smile was.

The ridiculously small queen bed left no room between them. Thomas had his hands and ankles crossed, and their thighs were practically squeezed against each other through the thick fabric of their sweatpants. Newt had his arms up and crossed behind his head, so he could even feel the heat of his elbow against his temple.

They had both finished their snacks, so they were relaxed and sleepy. The breeze spilling in from the propped open window to Thomas’ right kept his goosebumps alive and dancing on his skin. It was a welcome change from the intense heat of the daytime, but he was still thankful for his long socks and his baggy sweatpants. Since Newt was still in his, even glancing at the boy’s lower half during the movie made his heart ache.

The lighting was bad in the room, the only source of it spilling from the big TV, but Thomas still couldn’t stand to look at the boy next to him for more than a few moments. They had already slept next to each other for two nights, but this one seemed different. More intimate. Maybe it was due to the fact that this damn bed was in no way a true queen size.

“At least I said something nice,” Newt murmured, taking a deep breath. “Bloody Jesus. Look who it is! I forgot she had a mum.”

Thomas laughed once more as Bella spoke shakily to her mom on the phone. She seemed pretty uncertain to be talking to her own mother, the acting still failing. The camera panned suddenly to show Edward there, and Newt jumped. They both began laughing, with the ridiculous scene still playing out in front of them.

Their laughing at Edward saying he watches her sleep slowly died. The two were getting very close and talking in low voices, and Thomas realized something terrifying. The characters were about to kiss, and Thomas was going to obsessively think about kissing the boy laying next to him. Not that he didn’t think about it almost every night, already.

“I just want to try one thing.” It was as if Edward had taken the words right out of his own mouth.

“They’re finally about to kiss,” Thomas said, trying to speak loudly and playfully to interrupt the moment hanging in the air. Well, the pretend moment. He knew he was imagining the tension. “Took them long enough.”

“I mean, who wouldn’t kiss Edward after he said he watches her sleep? How truly sexy,” Newt said sarcastically.

The kiss happened before Thomas could prepare himself. He didn’t find either of the actors attractive at all, but the close proximity of Newt and the fact that he was wearing his clothes already had his mind falling into a frenzy.

The fact that he could smell him didn’t help at all, either.

The hesitation before the kiss between Edward and Bella caused Thomas’ skin to erupt in goosebumps. The noises of their kisses and the heat radiating off of Newt left his abdomen tight and squirming. He tried to think of anything but Newt before his body reacted.

Damn, he was getting turned on by a shitty movie. What a Thomas thing to do.

“I miss kissing,” Newt said suddenly, causing Thomas to fall back to reality. Edward had just begun to cuddle with Bella on the screen, and the moment had broken.

What?!

Thomas’ hands began to sweat. The tightness in his abdomen twisted and clenched. He decided to play around like bros would. Bros, right?

“I bet it’s been longer for me,” Thomas said, forcing a laugh. He felt Newt turn his head to look over at him. There was a moment of silence before Newt spoke again.

“I highly doubt it, mate. You and Brenda broke up what, yesterday?” He was teasing, obviously, but there was a tightness to his voice.

“It’s been almost two years,” Thomas corrected quietly, eyes on the screen. He wasn’t really registering what he was watching, or even what he was saying. He could still feel Newt looking at him.

“Well, that was kissing a girl. So that didn’t really count,” Newt teased again, causing Thomas to crack a small smile.

“Well I guess I’ve never kissed anyone, then,” Thomas said, his brain still unfocused, with that feeling as if it were overheating. He was trying not to think about kissing. Why did that sound so amazing right now? How many times had he thought about kissing Newt? Way too many.

“You’re lying,” Newt said, half of a laugh on the edge of his voice.

“Nope. Never kissed a guy before. Besides you that one time.”

There was another few moments of silence. Thomas, from the corner of his eye, saw Newt turn his head to glance at the movie before looking once more at him.

“Are you sure you’re bi?” Newt teased, unraveling an arm under his head to poke Thomas in his side. Thomas cracked a small smile at his teasing.

Newt’s breathing became heavier as he watched Thomas. He kept opening his mouth and then closing it, as if deciding what to say next.

Dread filled Thomas. He hoped he hadn’t made things awkward. That wasn’t his intention at all. He watched the vampires on the screen play baseball for a few moments, trying to sort out what to say next.

“I mean, aren’t you curious?” Newt finally asked, eyes back on the screen as well. His voice was half teasing and half strained. Chest sinking, Thomas realized that he had for sure made him uncomfortable with his comment.

“About kissing a guy?” Thomas asked, trying to keep the tone light. He pulled one of his legs up to scratch his ankle, pushing back the thick fabric of the sweatpants. Anything to keep his mind off of the hesitation sitting in the air. Minho’s snoring rang loudly in his ears, reminding him that the moment was really happening.

“Well, yeah. You’ve liked guys for a while, right? Don’t you wonder how different it feels than with a girl?”

“I guess,” Thomas admitted, still trying to sound distracted and unaffected by the conversation. Newt probably thought he was strange for not kissing a guy. I mean, it was just a kiss right?

“Then why haven’t you?” Newt asked, curiosity heavy in his voice. He was still watching the screen just as Thomas was, but he didn’t seem to be paying any attention to the baseball game in front of them.

Well, because I wanted to kiss you again. Not boys.

“I guess I just haven’t had the opportunity,” Thomas lied, shrugging his shoulders a bit and dropping his ankle back on the bed. Newt restlessly unfolded his arms from behind his head and crossed them over his chest.

“Would you want to?” Newt asked suddenly, voice hesitant.

“What?” Thomas asked, unable to hide the shock in his voice. He moved his head to stare at Newt, mouth dropping open slightly. Newt’s face flushed a bright red, and he was able to see it even through the shitty TV lighting. Newt cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“No, I didn’t mean… I meant in general? Like… just… kiss a man? I dunno,” Newt said, voice shaky. His eyes narrowed at the TV screen, as if the low light was suddenly too bright.

“Oh,” Thomas said, disappointment and confusion flooding through him. “I thought you meant...” He forced a small, strained laugh.

“I didn’t… I meant…” Newt trailed off. His eyes squinted even more, and his foot began bouncing lightly on the mattress from nerves.

“I do want to,” Thomas said, trying to change the awkward tension. “Of course I do. I’m bi.”

Newt laughed at that. He was still squinting, and still bouncing his foot, but he began to breathe again. “And don’t laugh at the thought of my kissing. That’s very rude of you, you know.”

Fucking hell.

Thomas’ head spun.

“I was not,” Thomas teased, his heart hammering in his chest. His hands were shaking on the mattress, and he felt as if he were about to lose his sanity. As if he had any left over, anyway. “It’s just funny that I haven’t kissed anyone yet.”

“Funny? Why funny?”

“I mean, I should just get it over with, you know? I was laughing at myself, I promise. Well, besides the fact that you kiss like a grandma.”

He only meant it as a joke, but it seemed to surprise Newt. He turned to look at Thomas, eyes wide. His foot had completely stopped bouncing on the mattress.

Those chocolate eyes were still so hypnotizing to him, despite looking so shocked.

“I do not kiss like a grandma.”

“You do. I’m sorry to break it to you,” Thomas teased, breaking eye contact. He turned his head once more to the screen. His heartbeat was still pounding a mile a minute in his ears, almost deafening.

“Maybe it’s you ,” Newt teased, eyes still on him. Thomas hummed a response, giving the TV a small smile. He wasn’t sure what else to say. How much he wanted to kiss Newt? He doubted that would go over well.

Despite their joking attitude, Thomas could see Newt’s tongue pressed deeply into his cheek as he watched the screen. It was a sign of him thinking, and he wished he hadn’t made the joke at all.

Out of nowhere, before Thomas could process what was going on, Newt rolled over onto his side and pressed a quick kiss against his lips.

It only lasted a moment, not even long enough to feel if Newt’s lips were soft. It was just as long as last time, only enough to catch the taste of his chapstick.

Thomas was suddenly wide awake, and Newt laughed as he pulled away to lay on his back once more.

Heat rushed through Thomas despite the cold air drifting in through the window. It seemed to soak down his spine and down to his toes.

There was no way that just happened.

“There. You got your boy kiss over with,” Newt said, laughing once more. His foot was going crazy on the mattress, almost as if it were vibrating. Thomas had never seen him act so fidgety before.

Thomas slowly turned to look at Newt. He was watching the screen, though, his eyes squinted once more. Thomas’ heart jumped to his throat.

“That was another grandma kiss,” Thomas said, laughing once more. “No wonder you haven’t kissed anyone in a while.”

“You’re the grandma,” Newt said, smiling at the screen. “Maybe you have the grandma lips.”

Thomas was trying to act as if this moment wasn’t causing his heart to leap out of his chest and right into Newt’s palm. As if it wasn’t there already.

Newt had kissed him.

Thomas moved without thinking. He never thought things through, but this seemed to be a whole other level of craziness.

Newt seemed to be okay with kissing him. He had done it twice now. So, what would be the big deal if Thomas did it once?

He turned towards Newt, pulling his body over the blonde’s, and pressed a quick kiss against his lips in return.

He heard Newt suck in a quick breath of surprise. Thomas pulled away, suddenly unsure if what he did was okay. He felt Newt’s eyes boring into the side of his head.

“See? I’m not a grandma. That’s you, Newtie boy,” Thomas teased, trying to lighten the mood. He locked his eyes onto the screen as he settled back into bed, dread eating at him.

Newt laughed suddenly, surprising Thomas. “That was a pretty lame kiss if you ask me.”

Newt once again turned onto his side to slightly hover over Thomas. Their eyes met for a brief moment before Newt closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips against Thomas’ once more.

Thomas sucked in a deep breath, his eyes falling closed out of instinct. This time, Newt stayed for a moment. He stayed long enough for Thomas to take in his scent, and for him to register how warm and soft his lips were. But then, just as quickly as he was there, he was gone.

Newt didn’t pull his body away this time, though. He pulled away just enough to disconnect their lips, but nothing more. Thomas’ eyes stayed closed, hypnotized by the feeling of Newt’s warm breath splashing across his lips. He was still so close , and Thomas’ head was spinning. This is exactly what he had been wanting, exactly what he had dreamt of for two years.

“Still a grandma?” Newt laughed against Thomas’ mouth, trying to sound playful. Instead of playful, though, he just sounded weak. Hesitant. Thomas felt his hand shaking on the mattress next to him. Newt was holding himself over him, and Thomas was worried that he may pull him in again.

“A bit,” Thomas muttered, unable to believe that he was able to speak. Newt sucked in a quick breath above him.

Eyes still closed, Thomas wasn’t ready for the next kiss. Newt closed the distance once more, gently placing his lips against Thomas’ once more.

Newt laughed again, pulling away quickly. He was still slightly hovering over Thomas, but turned his head to look at the TV. He had pulled away before Thomas could respond, and he was greatly disappointed.

Newt began lifting his body off of him. He was hesitant and unsure of what Thomas wanted, but he hadn’t even given him a chance to reciprocate. “This movie is so-“

Thomas reached out without thinking, grabbing the soft fabric of the blonde’s t-shirt. Newt turned his head back quickly, eyes wide and surprised. Thomas laughed at his expression, unable to help himself.

Thomas didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the fact that the kisses were just a memory on his lips, and he did not want that. He wanted more. He had wanted more for two years.

“I don’t want to hear about the movie anymore.”

He pulled Newt down by his shirt, and collided their lips together.

They were both slowly becoming breathless as the kisses progressed, slightly more than a peck each time. Their laughter was slowing, becoming more of a breathless whisper against their lips.

They were teasing each other with strictly closed mouthed kisses, testing out whose kisses were better, until suddenly… they weren’t. It wasn’t clear who had parted their lips first to deepen the kiss, but neither boy stopped to question it.

When they disconnected again, Newt didn’t pull away. His lips gently parted, pushing Thomas’ mouth open against his.

The kiss deepened, and Thomas’ world tilted on its axis. Newt’s mouth was warm, and his scent left his head spinning. He realized his hand was still gripping onto Newt’s shirt, and he slid his fingers up the blonde’s chest and wound them into the back of his hair.

Minho’s deep snoring was deafening in his ears. It was like a reminder that this was actually happening, that he was finally kissing Newt again. Newt exhaled deeply into Thomas’ mouth as he curled his fingers tighter into his hair. It wasn’t on purpose, but more of a way to keep his hand from shaking.

Newt pulled himself on top of Thomas, right between his legs. Thomas gasped into his mouth, and he happily swallowed it. Their lips crashed together, the heat overwhelming Thomas and causing his toes to curl.

Newt’s body on top of Thomas’ was heavenly. His weight on him was perfect, grounding him and holding him steady. He felt like the perfect anchor in this crazy moment, and his scent drove him wild.

“But you kissed me,” Thomas muttered suddenly, not thinking before speaking. Like always. He immediately regretted it as soon as Newt pulled away to look down at him, confusion swarming across his face. His lips were red and his face was flushed.

“What?”

Thomas mentally cursed himself, wishing he hadn’t spoken. He pulled Newt down again once more, tightening his fingers in his hair. “Forget it.”

“No,” Newt muttered against his lips, pushing away from Thomas. Thomas sighed as Newt sat back, pulling away from him completely. The sudden lack of warmth left goosebumps erupting on his skin. Newt was now sitting back between his legs, looking confused and flustered. “What did you mean?”

“Just forget it, Newt-“

“No.”

He was always the most stubborn. Newt’s eyebrows began to furrow, and he began to look annoyed more than anything. Panic gripped at Thomas. Why couldn’t he ever do anything right?

“Okay, okay. I meant about you saying you haven’t kissed anyone in two years. But you kissed me that one time,” Thomas trailed off before continuing. Newt was still annoyed, and all he wanted to do was grab him and drag him back down again. “Why me if you don’t kiss a lot of people?”

“I mean, because it was you,” Newt muttered, sounding as if he would rather have said anything but that. “Obviously.”

“What do you mean?” Thomas asked, eyes on the blonde. Newt was always bad with confrontation, and his eyes began to wander. They were currently staring about three inches to the left of Thomas’ head.

Newt sighed, eyes squinting at the wall. “Siggy used to secretly film his welds. I heard you talking encouragement to him all the time. I also saw you welding.” Another sigh. “He used to take snapchats of you on break. I saw you so often, and heard all the time about how great of a guy you were. So, it’s just because it was you.”

Thomas couldn’t seem to process a word. He dug his fingernail into the palm of his hand to make sure he was still even awake. This whole night seemed like one big dream.

“So it wasn’t because of the game?”

“It wasn’t because of the game,” Newt admitted, head dipping down. He looked at Thomas’ knee. Thomas hoped he didn’t look a few inches higher and see the situation in his sweatpants.

“But-“

“Thomas,” Newt sighed, shaking his head. He sat back on his heels, looking up at the ceiling with squinted eyes. “Can we not talk about this?”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.” His voice came out strained, as if he would rather be anywhere else but here. He ran a big hand through his blonde hair.

“Why embar-“

“Thomas. Because I want to kiss you, fucking wanker,” Newt sighed, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. “I always want to kiss you. I don’t want to just kiss you for a stupid game.”

A few moments of silence washed over them. The light breeze from the window and the intensity of the situation caused shivers to run down Thomas’ spine.

“God, you’re so bloody stupid sometimes, the densest person I’ve ever -“

Thomas sat up, reached out to cup Newt’s face, and collided into him.

“Finally.”

Both boys almost fell off the bed from jumping apart from one another as Minho turned on his side to face away from them, grinning.