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The adrenaline coursing through his veins prevented him from feeling any pain as the round entered his gut, shredding through his intestines before making an exit near his kidney. His sole concern had been to take out as many Saviors as possible, and as he saw the bodies drop in response to his rapid fire, he knew the risk had been worth it. He fell back, shielding himself behind the sheet metal armor bolted to the side of the pickup truck so that he could take a breath and dodge any return fire.
It was then that the twinge of pain became noticeable. A burning sensation through his abdomen that seemed to sear a hole from belly to back. Before he could register the pain as a gunshot wound, Aaron was at his side, gripping onto him as if the physical connection was the only thing keeping them both alive. The sight of his lover, the sheer proximity of him, and the worry so evident in his voice made Eric smile despite the growing pain in his belly.
“I’m fine,” he managed, wanting to make light of the fact that Aaron was worried about him again, but knowing now was not the time. There were Saviors still standing, bullets still flying; their friends were still dying. They weren’t in the clear yet. He sobered himself up, pushing past the pain, and trying to allay Aaron’s concern in order to keep his lover in the fight. “But our people, they need…”
The adrenaline swiftly died off, and with it came a level of agony he’d never known before. The shock of its intensity cut off the rest of his words, and he stared at Aaron, panting breathlessly as realization finally dawned on him. Eric knew that Aaron could see the look of anguish on his face, his lover seeming to read his mind. Eric tried to cover the blood that was now soaking through his shirt, not wanting Aaron to be distracted by this, but it was too late. Aaron saw the blood. He pressed his hand over Eric’s, trying to apply pressure to the wound, but only managing to squelch the blood out over their hands and send another nauseating wave of pain through Eric’s body. Had it not been for Aaron’s hold on him, Eric would have hit the ground as his knees started to buckle.
As Aaron led him away from the fight, each step fanned the flame of fire burning through him, making him want to scream and beg Aaron to stop making him move. He forced his lips in on themselves to keep himself quiet, knowing if he let on how much it hurt, Aaron would withdraw himself from the fight and their side couldn’t afford to lose both of them. In his mind, Eric worked through the placement of organs in his body, trying to ascertain what the bullet may have struck, and how much time he had before death was a certainty.
“How bad is it?” He asked weakly, doubtful the news would be promising.
“There’s an exit wound; that’s good.” Aaron had tried to give him a look of hope as he knotted Eric’s jacket around his waist and helped to lower him down to the ground, but the crease in his lover’s brow betrayed him. By the time the fighting stopped long enough for them to get a car and get to the Kingdom, it would be too late.
This is it, Eric knew. This was the end of the line for him, and these last few moments would be all he had left with Aaron. As much as he wanted to tell Aaron goodbye, tell him how happy he’d been in life with him, Eric knew that his acceptance of death meant that Aaron wouldn’t leave him to go back to the fight. He’d sit there and watch Eric die. Eric refused to allow that. He refused to be that selfish, no matter how much he didn’t want to face this alone.
As Aaron began to weep, needlessly apologizing, Eric did what he had always done when he was hurt. He made a joke to take the burden off of Aaron’s conscience. “Were you the one who shot me?” He knew Aaron would blame himself, but this wasn’t his fault. Eric had made the choice to fight, he knew the consequences, and if dying meant giving Aaron the chance to live on, he’d gladly take a thousand more bullets.
Rallying Aaron to go back to the fight was weakening his tenacity, but he urged his lover to go, assuring him he could bleed just fine on his own. When Aaron protested again, Eric held tight to the side of his neck and forced the other to meet his eyes so that Aaron would know this argument was over. “You know I love you. And you know I’m right.”
Eric watched the last of Aaron’s resolve crumble as he nodded and pressed his forehead to Eric’s. Cupping his lover’s face, Eric soaked in this final moment, wanting this to be the memory he died with as he called for Aaron to get up and get back to the fight, to win… to live. Whether he was still in denial, or simply trying to offer false hope to Eric, Aaron promised they would win the fight. Not the communities fighting against the Saviors…Aaron and Eric, personally. Eric nearly lost control of his expression, nearly let Aaron see his heart breaking, but he managed to hold on for those final few moments, listening as Aaron declared his love.
It had taken nearly a year of friendship, and five official dates before those words were ever first spoken, but Eric had always known. In his mind he was transported back all those years ago, lying in bed with Aaron after dinner and drinks on the rooftop bar at Marvin’s, and a night of incredibly satisfying passion. They’d been talking, sharing deeper aspects of their lives and laughing at each other’s stories, when Aaron had rested his hand on Eric’s cheek and searched his eyes as if they held all the answers to life’s questions.
“I love you.”
Hearing those words now was bittersweet, as if they had somehow come full-circle in their lives together. If he had to die, if this was the end, he could think of no greater reason for it all than Aaron. He smiled at Aaron with the same smile he’d given him the first time he’d ever heard those words, and told him the same words he’d said that night in Aaron’s bed. “I always had a hunch.”
Eric poured all of his love—every hope, every desire, every unspoken thought—into that final kiss with his lover, hoping that Aaron could feel how very much Eric had always loved him. When the kiss ended and he watched his lover head back into the fray, Eric’s fearlessness finally gave way and he shed the tears he had been keeping at bay.
Leaning back against the trunk, Eric looked up through the canopy of leaves towards the blue sky above. Blue…like the color of Aaron’s eyes. He smiled, closing his eyes as he held onto the thought of Aaron, feeling the darkness creeping in at the edges of his brain and lulling him towards the abyss.
The last thought that trickled through Eric’s hazy mind was of the pain. “At least it doesn’t hurt anymore.”