Chapter Text
Evan stared out his window, watching as the moon dropped lower and lower. He couldn’t go to sleep. He couldn’t go to sleep; not when there were so many thoughts rushing in and out of his head. Not when Jared snored quietly behind him, wrapped up in his favorite childhood blanket, littered with tiny stars and planets. Not when he was hopelessly in love with the boy.
Evan let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, carefully shifting to face Jared, cautious not to wake him.
The brunette still had his glasses on his face, having passed out while they both watched Coraline. Evan had taken the opportunity to gently lay the blanket on him and the unconscious boy had approved unknowingly, a small grin on his face as he hugged the fabric closer to him. Evan had felt the strong urge to wrap his arms around his so-called “family friend”, but he knew better, afraid of Jared waking and finding himself in that position. He really didn’t wanna put up with more teasing.
But he was stuck. As soon as Evan laid his eyes on Jared, he couldn’t rip them away. The moonlight seeping through the window behind him seemed to find the perfect angle to show off the glasses-wearing dork. The other boy’s cocoa-colored hair fell in front of his eyes, which were screwed shut, evidence he was fast asleep. What totally and utterly stopped the function of poor Evan Hansen’s brain was Jared’s lips. They were parted slightly and seemed to silently plead for him to press his own against them. Evan blushed at the thought alone, hesitantly brushing the boy’s hair out of his face, being the unintentionally creepy boy he was.
A crease appeared between Jared’s brows, startling Evan when a small huff came from the other’s mouth. And then his eyelids fluttered open, and Evan was suddenly able to admire the bluish-brownish-greenish color of Jared’s eyes. Jared’s hand came out of the blanket for a moment, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It was then that he probably noticed Evan’s gaze on him.
“..Can’t sleep, Hansen..?”
Jared’s words came slow and hesitant, as if unsure of what to make of this situation. The blonde boy’s eyes widened, quickly pulling his hand away as soon as he realized what it must’ve looked like, face scarlet. He hoped the dim light helped disguise his flusteredness. He ended up just nodding slightly, fearing his voice could fail him.
He could do it. He could do it right now. Tell Jared how he had become so infatuated with him that he couldn’t function normally with him any longer. How Jared’s dorky smirk stopped him in his tracks every morning he greeted him, and the fact he was probably the first one to see it every day made his heart soar.
Jared looked up at Evan as his lips parted to say something. The brunette’s face was so soft at that moment, no trace of malice or cockiness. It was the real Jared, the Jared that hadn’t morphed himself to abide unspoken social rules. It was just Jared. Just Jared, patiently waiting for a response.
But Evan didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say it. For obvious reasons. Jared was straight. He hooked up with a girl at that camp or something. Plus, Jared could never be with someone like him.
And just as fast as he had woken up, Jared’s expression changed to something of amusement, and his whole demeanor seemed to shift in an instant. Evan got the hint. His walls were up. He lost his chance. Again.
“What’s the matter, Hansen? Cat got your tongue?” He murmured, grinning cheekily. When Evan just let his eyes drop to the fabric of his sheets, Jared sat up, surveying the scene of popcorn littered on the bed, the TV still frozen on the scene where the rats were performing. “Geez, my glasses are still on...” He muttered as he mussed at his own hair.
“Shit. It’s four am?” Jared cursed as he glanced at Evan’s alarm clock. “I’ve got to run, I told my mom I’d be home by..” He trailed off when Evan suddenly shot up, grasping at Jared’s arm.
“Wait. Can- can you stay? You can stay over like.. like you used to? I-I can tell your mom in the morning I asked. I’ll deal with it if- if you get in trouble or anything.” The words spilled from Evan without a second thought, eyes wide and pleading. “Please?”
Jared stared up at Evan curiously. Evan took that look as a “I'm trying to figure out how to let you down the easiest way possible”, face and sagged slightly. “I.. I mean, you.. you don’t have t-“
“Ev, no- no, I can stay.” Jared interrupted, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and giving him the most gentle smile Evan had ever witnessed.
They soon found themselves laying down again. And Evan was impossibly grateful when Jared didn’t mention how weird it was when the blonde wrapped his arms around him, instead curling up slightly to be a proper little spoon. Evan had never drifted asleep so quickly.