Chapter Text
You sit in a nearby chair, watching your oldest daughter Ellery as she does the perfect ballet twirl in her afternoon ballet class that her mother insisted that she take. You smile proudly at her as she gives you a little wave, before turning her attention back to Madame whats her face. You sigh a little bit because you know that if Addison could see that horrible bun you'd put on the top of her head, she'd scream at you.
Mark, what the hell were you thinking?
'I've shown you how to do a ballet bun a million times.
Were you not paying attention to me when I showed you?
Y ou pull the hair up into a bun...
You find yourself sighing heavily once again because by now you'd be walking towards her, muttering how you've got this. She'd frown at you before you pulled her towards you by the hips and kiss her. But you can't do that anymore, seeing as you're no longer together. You went and screwed it all up and slept with Lexie Grey again. She wanted commitment and you, as usual, bailed on her. Why? You have no idea. Lexie, she's nice, incredibly cute, worships the ground you walk on. In your mind, Lexie's the safe choice but you know deep down that it just wouldn't work out. You're jarred from your thoughts as your daughter runs towards you, a huge smile on her face.
“Hi, daddy!” Your five and a half year old says with a huge grin on her face.
“Hey, kid,” You know she's a girl but you can't help the way you ruffle her hair, causing her to giggle and simultaneously glare you, shaking her head in that Addison-esque fashion.
You feel a swell of pride in your heart at the sight of her; she's the spitting image of her mother, though when she smirks, smiles, and grins, you see a miniature version of yourself. You hoist her up on your shoulders as you head to your car. She loves being on your shoulders; she says it's like being on top of the world. Of course, to a five-year-old, that's pretty high up. You help her get situated in the front seat of your car, something else you're sure your ex would flip out about but, you don't care. It's your time with your daughter so, you call the shots. She sits on the front seat, her little kick legs back and forth, while still at the same time admiring her new rain boots her mother had gotten her just last week (they're Burberry).
“What's on your mind kid?” you ask her, sensing that she's in deep thought; particularly the way her nose is scrunched up.
“Nothin,” she says with a huff.
“Doesn't look like nothing to me,” you say, keeping your eyes on the road.
“I just...do you love me, daddy?” Ellery asks, and the question is jarring.
“Where's this coming from Ellery?”
“I, mommy was crying last night,” she says quietly.
“Oh?”
“Uh-huh. She was talking to Aunt 'Melia and she was really, really sad,” Ellery explains.
“Mommy was sad?”
“Mmhm. She cried for a really long time,”
“I'm sorry kiddo...but you know how much I love you, right Elle?”
“I do daddy but, I wish you'd come back home,” she says.
“I wish I could too but, I messed up pretty bad with your mother,”
“Can't you just, apologize? I really miss you,” she says, and there you have it, she misses you, apparently, they both do.
You hate to see your kid in pain, and judging by the longing look in her eyes, she's in a lot of it. It bothers you that your other favorite girl is in pain too. She's pregnant again, another little girl; she plans on naming her Riley. You picked out the middle name, Adrienne. You opted for her middle name, seeing as Ellery has your name, sort of. So you figured, why not let this kid have part of her name since "E" as you call her, already has part of yours?
“I really wish I could just, apologize kiddo but, it's not that easy. Daddy messed up real bad,” you tell her before ordering her a hamburger, with just cheese, nothing else and a french fry from McDonald's.
Seeing as its raining, your weekly park chats have been reduced to sitting outside of her mother's place talking. You make small, general conversation with your daughter until another familiar redhead is lightly knocking on your car window. You look up and see her; she looks like how you feel: miserable. Somehow, even at seven and a half months pregnant, she manages to look as beautiful as she did the day you met her. Her face is a bit fuller now, due to the pregnancy, but she's got that glow about her. She smiles brightly at your daughter, who gives her an eager wave, happily munching on a french fry, popping it into her mouth to impress her mother, who simply chuckles and nods approvingly.
“I see you've managed to teach her how to effectively pop a french fry into her mouth during your visit,” she says to you; her voice isn't accusatory, it just sounds tired.
“Yeah, she seems to enjoy it,” you say, as your daughter leans towards the driver's side of the car, still chewing on a french fry, but with a huge grin
“Hi mommy”
“Hey beautiful; did you have fun with daddy today?”
“Uh-huh. Madame Mimi says my twirls are really good,”
“That's great honey,” she says, noticing as you stare at her
“Alright baby girl, let's get you inside; we can't have all this cuteness melting away,” Addison tells her and she giggles, though when she looks at you, she's just sad
“See ya later princess,” your voice is soft as you lean over and kiss the side of her head.
“Bye daddy,” she says softly, though her eyes are saying so much more.
Addison stands there outside of the car, arms folded across her chest as she watches the two of you. You can't help but think of how much you love her, of how much you love them as Ellery gathers her things. You can't stop yourself from getting out of the car.
“Stay here kiddo, I'm gonna talk to your mom okay?” You tell Ellery
“Alright,”
“Mark,” she sighs as you close the door behind you.
"Addison,"
“What are you doing?” Addison sighs heavily and shakes her head; her arms are wrapped protectively around her belly.
“What am I doing? What are we doing, Red?” you counter.
“It's over, Mark and we're dealing with this like civilized adults,”
“I don't wanna deal with it like this,”
“You cheated on me, Mark again!” she shouts, letting her emotions get the better of her.
“I know, and I'm sorry”
“And with Lexie Grey of all people...it just had to be a Grey girl!”
“I'm sorry Red; I just...this is scary for me,” you confess.
“You don't think that this is scary for me?! Mark, I gave up my entire life to be with you!” she says exasperatedly
“I know Addison but, this? You, me, Ellery, the baby...it scares the living shit outta me Red,”
“Mark-”
“It scares me because now, it's all real; all of it. You, me, the girls...I just, it's a lot Red. I'm a father, I just...I have an even bigger chance of fucking things up now and, I don't wanna let you down, I didn't wanna let her down, either of them”
“So your idea was to cheat on me?” she looks at you incredulously.
“It's stupid but, it's what I go to when I'm freaked out,”
“Mark...” she says with a sigh and you know her resolve is wearing down
“I'm sorry Red just...”
“Stop,” she whispers, staring into your eyes as you notice her are swimming with tears; and dammit, you hate seeing her cry
“C' mere,” you say, pulling her towards you
“No,” she mutters, refusing to move from where she stands.
“Addison...” you say to her; the simple tone of your voice lets her know that you're not asking her.
“Mark, I-”
“Shhh,” you mutter before taking her face into your hands, kissing her softly.
“I'm so sorry babe; I swear I'm never gonna leave you again, I promise,”
“Good, because if you do, I'll kill you,” she tells you, and you can't help but chuckle as Ellery rushes towards you, a grin on her face; of course she couldn't stay put.
“So, you're good now?” she asks, looking between the two of you.
“Oh yeah, definitely good right now kiddo,” you say with a huge grin before leading your girls back inside and out the cold rain.
~
“I'm sorry Red,” you mutter again later that night as you two lie naked, tangled in her (your) bedsheets together.
“I just...why Mark? Why do you keep doing this to me?” she asks, resting her head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat.
“I don't know Red...I just, you scare the shit outta me sometimes babe,”
“I scare you?”
“Yeah...you, I've never been in love Addison, until you,”
“So being in love with me-”
“I'm me; Mark Sloan, the cool guy with the bad boy reputation...but with you, I'm all...”
“You're just Mark, the most amazing man in the world, the best daddy...you're not that guy to me Mark, no one else,” she says softly.
“I know, and that's what scares me. I don't want you to have such high expectations of me and then, I disappoint you; like I did when I cheated with you, with Lexie,”
“Mark,” she says, using a tone that's only reserved for you.
"I know, I know," you sigh.
“I love you, nobody else but you; I had your baby...twice and if you asked me, I'd take your last name too,”
“Really?”
“Mark, I want to be with you, nobody else.”
“You mean that?”
“You've cheated on me and still, I keep taking you back...that should tell you something,” she says with a chuckle
“I never understood-”
“My love for you is unconditional; I can't not love you, Mark. You, you're it for me, the love of my life,” she tells you
“I won't cheat, ever again, I promise, I swear,” you tell her
“Don't make promises you can't keep Mark,”
“No. I don't wanna hurt you anymore Red, I just, I can't. I've messed around with a lot of women, but with you, it wasn't a game; it's not a game.” you tell her.
Two and a half months later, Riley is born.
Six months after that, you make good on your word and give her your last name.
You never cheat again.
xxx