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Chapter Text

The first time the Asset failed, it wasn’t even his fault.

It sort of was, in the way that everything was: He did not complete the mission and he would be punished for it. But it wasn’t because of anything he did. It was because of a gun, if it could even be called that.

He hadn’t thought much of it when his handler shoved the thing into his hands and gave him his mission. He simply went to the assigned location, found a spot up high, and prepared for the short window of time that the target would be in sight. He aimed, he pulled the trigger, and nothing happened.

The damn gun had jammed.

The target was gone and the Asset would’ve groaned if he were capable of frustration. As it was, he could foresee how his handler was going to take it. Checking over the rifle, he saw HAMMER TECH emblazoned on the side. Probably because a hammer was the only use left for the gun, provided the metal could survive even that. 

He threw the gun to the side, not wanting to be associated with it anymore. As if he didn’t dislike the company enough, that’s when the gun decided to go off and give away his position. 

The Asset ran before the shot finished echoing in the air, but he took the long way back in the barest hope of prolonging his time until he was punished. Especially when it was the fault of a crappy gun. 

In his escape he wound up in a warehouse to avoid some men running his way. The building was mostly empty, save some guards. He heard their voices, gruff and murmuring, but they were too low for him to make out, even with advanced hearing. He stayed low, peeking out from around a crate to take stock of his environment.

The guards were stopped in front of his exit route, so the Asset knew he would have to fight them. He didn’t have any concerns about killing them, he would do whatever was necessary and damn the consequences, but his primary goal was to avoid as much mess as possible. He’d have to make sure he didn’t spill any blood, then. 

His mind clouded over, as it often did when he fought. There was no need for any thoughts or emotions beyond kill.

When awareness returned, he was surrounded by bodies, crooked where their necks had snapped. Mission complete.

Before leaving, he took notice of their weapons that had fallen to the ground. The one Hydra had given him was inefficient, perhaps he should take a new one.

He lifted each one, testing the weight and feel. None of them were right, though. He used to make do with whatever he was given, but after that failed gun, he had to make sure. He needed something great.

One guard had a different model than the others. He was probably the head of security, a badge shining on his chest to declare the authority he once held. Strapped across his back, where he hadn’t had a chance to grab it, was a rifle. 

The Asset picked it up and looked it over. Most military grade rifles were being switched to M4 carbines, as they were lighter, but this was an M16. It had some weight to it, nothing to the Asset, but enough for him to notice. It was definitely in need of cleaning, the barrel sticky with grime, but the Asset could take care of that. He… wanted to do that, which was odd considering the Asset couldn’t want anything.

But he wanted this. The rifle that was matte black, but shiny where the paint had chipped with use. When he held it up and aimed, it rested in his metal hand not like he was holding it, but rather like it was an extension of the limb. He took a quick shot across the room, just to test it. There was no one left to hear the noise, anyway.

The bullet met its target with precision. The Asset was trained and could make any shot, but rather than fighting the gun for control, it worked with him. Like it wanted to help him in any way it could. It was a ridiculous thought, but if a machine like himself could have thoughts, could want something, why not an M16 carbine rifle?

He ran his hands over the metal caringly. Later he would wonder why his programming wasn’t rushing him to return to base and report, but in that moment he just wanted to keep touching the gun, get to know every inch of it. Was he going crazy or did the gunpowder smell especially good? Did he have enough of a mind to go crazy?

He took note of some parts of the gun to clean and fix up — the guard clearly hadn’t taken care of it, and the Asset couldn’t help wishing his death wasn’t as quick— but the chips and dents, he liked. It was used, a little worse for wear. Like the Asset. Not that any part of the Asset could really compare to the beauty of the rifle.

His inspection led him to find a mark just above the handle. Carved into the metal and brushed over with paint to stand out, was “T.S.”. It wasn’t like the factory “STARK INDUSTRIES” stamped onto the side. It was blocky, kind of clumsy, like it was done by hand. Like a signature. 

The rifle was slung onto his back and stayed with him as he made the trek back to base, bouncing with each step in a way more comforting than annoying.

It was there as he recorded his failed mission. As he was hit with the faulty HAMMER gun to show how effective it could be. As they led him back to his cryo. 

Before they could freeze him, he took advantage of a turned guard to stuck the rifle into the crack behind the chamber, where it would hopefully be safe..

Still smelling metal and smoke, his lips quirked up into something that wasn’t a stern line as the cold washed over him.

Chapter Text

The next time the Asset fails, it was entirely his fault. 

He couldn’t be aware of time. There was no way to keep track when most of it was spent in frozen blurs and false sleep.

When he was awake, though, the first thing he’d do was take out his rifle, check it over, and make sure no one had hurt it. It was a reassuring tradition, throughout fighting and orders. His mind was almost always blurred with a hazy fog of uncertainty, but holding the gun in his hands, taking a rag and cleaning out the barrel, it was familiar in a way the Asset couldn’t quite explain.

But, as much as he loved his rifle –Winter, as he’d named it because something so beautiful deserved one– his obsession far reached only one gun. After all, Winter wasn’t some fluke. Stark Industries was good at what they did and what they did was make the only kind of weapons the Asset ever wanted to use. Even if none of the others had the same initials on the side.

He was defrosted for another mission and Winter was slung over his shoulder, the weight warm and welcoming. Then his handler tossed him a couple handguns and gave orders. The Asset held them out like they might go off at any moment. Since they weren’t SI, they very well could.

“Are you faulty? Who has your words?” His handler made to send for a guard, but the Asset stopped her by speaking.

“These are inadequate.”

The handler took the guns and looked them over, frowning.

“They’re fine,” she held them back out. The Asset did not take them.

His fists were clenched at his sides, muscles straining. He wasn’t meant to be disagreeing with people, to show any resistance. But this was about the mission and after the Hammer Tech debacle, he didn’t want anything without the SI logo on it.

“Well, we have an entire weaponry for your perusal. Go ahead, then, I love letting my dogs choose their arsenal.”

The Asset acknowledged the permission and went into the side room. There were lots of weapons, but he was looking for one logo in particular. He almost missed it, but then they caught his eye.

Grenades. Just as sleek and beautiful as his rifle (though nothing could really compare with Winter), and the Asset knew they would be the best thing in this room.

He added them to his pack, a little sad that using them would mean they’d be gone. He’d been hoping for something he could keep, like Winter.

He almost missed it on his way out.  He had glanced at the row of knives, his favourite after rifles. He should probably take one for close combat, but he was unwilling to settle for less than the best. He could put up with bad food, bad sleep, bad life, but his weapons. Those were integral to who he was. A weapon who used other weapons. The only extension of himself he could control and he did not want to willingly choose a knife that was not-

He saw it. Amidst the row of ordinary dirks and daggers was a pair of knives. Only as long as his forearm and made to lock together, they were elegantly crafted. The blades were dark, closer to black than silver. Perfect for stealth as they wouldn’t reflect as much light. The handles, when he picked them up, were something like leather, soft under his fingers, but more durable.

Unlike Winter, who had been through too much wear and tear, these were taken care of. Clean and pretty and emblazoned with STARK INDUSTRIES on the base of the blades. They were perfect.

The Asset sheathed them at his sides and his handler gave him a narrow look as he left the room.

“Don’t lose those. They’re very rare.”

The Asset wanted to know more, know the history behind such beautiful knives, but that information was not crucial to his mission and so he could not ask.

That mission was a success, but he did lose the knives. At least, that’s what he told his handler before bearing the punishment in silence. After all, they did not know about the paper in his pocket detailing exactly where the knives were hidden. The lie was still ash on his tongue.

The next missions followed. The Asset was defrosted and confused, then he’d take Winter out of its hiding place and hold it, protect it. He took it on every mission, so of course they all went well.

His collection grew. After that handler, he had many others, all of them blurring together. The Asset show concern over the mission and he’d get to choose his weapon. He chose Stark every time.

He’d managed to keep two of the grenades as souvenirs, along with the knives. Over time he collected some various pistols, handguns, and even some more advanced devices that he’d stolen on missions rather than from his handlers. He knew enough to disarm the bombs so they wouldn’t go off unexpectedly, but they still looked dangerous. The Asset loved them.

Then came the next handler.

He wasn’t exactly sure who it was. One person was ordering the Asset, but that guy was taking orders from someone else. A bald, older man whose cigar made the Asset want to cough. He preferred gunpowder.

“We have a new mission for you, Asset,” his handler said, the other man watching with his arms crossed.

“Hydra has been hired for an outside mission. A simple assassination, nothing extravagant.”

The Asset nodded and the older man frowned.

“He’s human?”

His handler shrugged. “At some point, maybe. Now he’s our favourite weapon. You want a job done, he’ll do it.”

The man finally showed emotion, a crooked smile as cruel as any member of Hydra. Could someone this twisted not be part of the organization??

“Target?” The Asset just wanted to leave, to take advantage of his new chance to collect more weapons.

His handler held out a photo of a man with tousled brown hair and yellow shades hiding his eyes. He was smiling in the picture, bright and camera ready. He was very handsome. Speaking objectively, as only the Asset could.

“Tony Stark.”

His mind blurred. His handler was probably giving background information, but the Asset didn’t care. He was looking at the face of the man who made Winter, his knives, the only joy-like emotion he was capable of. It was a nice face. The Asset didn’t want to shoot it.

He tried to open his mouth to refuse, but he couldn’t. Of course not, the Asset should not be allowed to turn down the mission. He would have to kill Tony Stark.

At least, he had to try to kill Tony Stark.

His handler had finished talking and gestured to the wall next to him.

“The others have said you have a proclivity for specific weapons. Choose whichever will get the job done.”

The Asset went to the wall. They were all pretty standard and there was only one Stark gun. An M4 carbine. It was light, but still better than any other that the Asset had used. He couldn’t pick that.

On the other end was a Hammer sniper. The Asset had sworn to never use his tech again, but considering the mission, it might be the only time that gun could ever be useful.

He hated even holding it, but his face remained a blank mask as he turned back to his handler and the man who wanted Stark dead.

The Asset liked him even less now.

The mission went as expected. The crappy Hammer sniper had a faulty scope that made him miss Tony Stark by at least a foot. And by the time he had carefully (and slowly) reloaded, Tony’s security had scurried him away.

The Asset had only seen him for barely a minute, ignoring his surroundings in favour of tapping rapidly onto a Stark tablet, but it was enough to recognize genius. And he wanted more.

The mission was a failure for Hydra and the older man, but it was a success for the Asset. After all, one of the Stark’s bodyguards had dropped a very effective taser that was now part of the Asset’s collection.

He’d let himself go back to sleep in victory, a strangely light feeling filling his stomach.

When he was woken up for his next mission, all that the news would talk about was that the genius Tony Stark had been kidnapped. His stomach sank.

Chapter Text

The Asset had completed his latest mission, but he had not reported back yet. Instead, he was in the old warehouse that concealed his collection and methodically reloading his handgun. Winter was leaning against the side, but the Asset wasn’t reaching for it his time. It felt too much like grasping at something that wasn’t there.

He had failed his last mission, he had failed to kill Tony Stark, but he had failed in saving him. That wasn’t fair. Like everything else in what passed for his life.

Would Stark Industries go on without their inventor? Even if they did, would they be as brilliant? As amazing? Would seeing weapons that Tony Stark hadn’t designed give him that same sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could be more than “the Asset?”

He wasn’t sure. What he did know, however, was that he didn’t like this. He felt that same creeping feeling as he’d had when he saw that rifle. He wanted something. He wanted to save Tony Stark.

“New mission,” his voice was flat. “Operation Firecracker. Save Tony Stark.”

He’d never tried to give himself a mission before, but something in his mind slid into place and all he wanted was to succeed. He had failed twice already, he refused to do so a third time.

He slung Winter over his shoulder — the strap wrapping him in what felt like a hug — and set out to gather intel. It turned out that he didn’t have to go far because at a local bar the news was reporting nothing but Tony Stark. And on the screen, talking about it, was the man who had hired the Asset however long ago.

Obadiah Stane.

The name made something twist inside him, another new sensation. He never cared about missions before, the Asset killed more often than he changed clothes, but seeing the man who was trying to ruin the only thing that made the Asset somewhat happy made him want Stane to suffer.

He was figuring out how to reach Stane when his left arm sent a prickle of pain through him. A warning that he had to go back.

He didn’t want to, though. He tried to ignore it and make his feet move in the opposite direction, but that went against his programing. 

His face was blank the whole way and it was blank when his handler hit him and screamed at him. It was also blank when he was refrozen, all while inside he was begging to be let out.

To him it was barely a blink before he was awake again, the shiver never leaving him no matter how far from his cryo he was led.

He had a new handler. A new target. The Asset listened, but he was clutching Winter’s strap, wondering if Stark was home, was back to building magnificent weapons.

He wasn’t. The Asset had been frozen for a month and Stark was still missing after his trip to Afghanistan. People were starting to give up. Fucking Stane was going on about how sad he was, like he wasn’t the one behind it all. The Asset wanted to throw something, but all he was holding were his beloved weapons and they didn’t deserve that.

His main mission, the one assigned by the handler, required planning. He had a week to succeed, but he knew his capabilities. He could work on his other mission as well.

His second day awake had Obadiah Stane lying at his feet, clasping at his throat as he regained his breath. He should work on getting better security, especially after what happened to Stark.

But then, it was difficult to worry about others when you were the one betraying them.

Stane coughed before speaking, voice more gravelly than usual. “What do you want?”

“Stark.” The Asset did not speak often, so the word was heavy. Stane’s eyes widened and his mouth struggled to find words.

“You-you already tried. I needed someone else-”

The Asset flung out his knife so it was pressed against Stane’s neck, a hair away from breaking skin. The Asset didn’t want to sully the weapons with such vulgar blood, but if it meant saving Stark, saving SI, he could make an exception.

“Where?”

“Af-Afghanistan!”

The Asset would have rolled his eyes, but he didn’t care enough about this man to be annoyed.

“Where?”

Stane’s gaze shifted to the side, as though there were anything in their environment unaccounted for that could possibly help him get out of this. Did he think so little of the Asset? He did think he had failed to kill Stark, so maybe.

Stane finally went limp, all except his tense neck, straining to get as far from the Asset’s knife as the Asset let him.

“The Ten Rings. I don’t have the coordinates with me, I swear, I-”

He was knocked out with the hilt of the knife before he could finish. The Asset had what he needed and his knife needed cleaning. 

***

With Hydra’s resources available, it didn’t take long for the Asset to track down the Ten Rings. He just had to make sure he could act before his week was up and his mission, his handler’s mission, was completed and he went back into the cryo.

He had the information. He knew where Stark was being held. But what could he do with it? 

The mission he gave himself was to save Tony Stark. That would mean going to Afghanistan, tracking down the inventor, and dragging him back to the US (preferably in one piece, which would definitely be something new).

It wouldn’t be difficult for him. He could steal a plane and fight off the kidnappers with Winter. His rifle would love that, being used to protect its maker instead of killing off random names on a list.

Stark would be grateful, right? That’s how that worked? He saved Stark, who would offer him anything in return. Maybe an actual sword? Or something more practical. Like shurikan. 

The Asset made a mental map of the Hydra base, thinking of the hangar and how simple it would be to just leave-

A sharp pain stabbed his temple. That was dangerous thinking. He was Hydra property. He was their weapon and nothing more. He had a mission to do and more to come.

He could not leave. He could not want to leave. He could not want anything. 

But he needed Stark back. He needed SI to make more weapons.

He had three more days before he would be frozen. Not enough time to do anything, but could he send someone else? Could he… trust someone to? Was trust something he was capable of?

The world was ready to pronounce Stark dead after nearly three months gone, but surely there were still people looking? The military, whatever secret agencies existed with nobler intentions than Hydra, someone. The Asset just needed to contact them.

It took a long time to narrow his search. Hydra had information on talented criminals, but even more on their actual enemies. The military would want to end Hydra, so they needed to stay a step ahead of them.

Reading military files was interesting work. It all seemed simple and familiar, despite him rarely sent into this field.

 He didn’t know who to trust with his mission, until he found out that the search party was being led by a Colonel Rhodes. His file said he went to school with Stark, so they must know each other. He would do something with the information the Asset had.

He wasn’t well versed on how one emailed a stranger about the location of a missing engineer, who he was only interested in because he made great weapons. Hydra had failed to put that into his programming. 

He settled for simple and to the point:

Tony Stark. The Ten Rings.

He added the coordinates and sent it off through Hydra’s more secure channels. Then he wiped any trace of him being there, because his tech was only for his mission. His handler’s mission.

He didn’t know if Rhodes would listen to an unsolicited message, but if he was desperate enough…

Something feathered in his chest and he completed his handlers mission on his last day before being put back to sleep.

On his next mission, he found out that that Stark was saved, apparently by a Colonel Rhodes. The Asset had helped someone. It made him not sad.

Then he found out Stark was no longer making weapons.

The Asset would’ve cried if he’d been able to. Instead he could only watch the news in cold fury. Even worse was the announcement that Stark wasn’t actually done making weapons. He was just done making weapons for other people. For the Asset.

The man had made a giant robot, shiny and metal and flying, and the Asset couldn’t have it. He could only watch as some random Stark employee — who probably didn’t fully appreciate the sheer genius that probably went into such complex repulsor tech, which were incredible to not leave thermal or chemical damage on the suit despite using that much power — flew around to protect his boss.

At least Stane was gone. It was a single band-aid over the gaping wound in the Asset’s chest.

Chapter Text

The next time the Asset woke up, he was given a couple of days to take out his next target. He was spending half of that time in his warehouse, surrounded by his collection. It was probably worth millions now that SI closed their weapons division, but it was priceless to him.

It felt like nothing had changed since that time however long ago, when he was sitting here and Stark was kidnapped. Sure, he was home now, but there would be no more guns or knives or bombs. Just a giant power generator that, while pretty, was not as useful on stealth missions. 

He held Winter, checking the rifle over. It was in perfect condition, but it soothed him.

His thoughts were usually so blank, this was a new situation for him. This overanalyzing, trying to understand in the world with something other than facts and orders. This… wanting.

He had to complete his mission, though. He had to follow orders.

He took out the file to look over. He was in the right city, but his target wouldn’t be at home tonight. He would be...

The Asset blinked. Surely, he had read that wrong.

Stark Expo. A whole event all about Stark Industries and its tech and the Asset had to take out one of the attendees.

It could be fate, if the Asset was programmed to believe in that. Most likely dumb luck. Or a cruel trick. Whatever the case, the Asset was going to be in the general vicinity of Tony Stark for the second time in his life. And he wouldn’t be trying to kill him this time, so that was a plus. Maybe someone would drop another taser.

The area for the expo was too crowded. Even with his aim and Winter’s prowess, a shot with this many people wasn’t smart. It would have to be close up, then.

He avoided the drunk and laughing crowd, all here for free drinks rather than to truly appreciate the wonder of Stark tech. The bright lights dimmed as he turned into an alley. He pulled up his hood, not wanting to draw any attention, and reached for the side door about three seconds before it swung open.

The Asset was well trained. If needed, he could move with incredible speed and could have ducked into the shadows to avoid being seen by whoever was walking out. He could have, that is, if it were anyone other than Tony Stark and the Asset wasn’t frozen to his spot.

The inventor was shorter in person, only coming up to around the Asset’s mouth, and he wasn’t as camera ready. He looked tired, sick. At least, until he caught sight of the Asset and immediately put on a smile.

“Oh! This is not the main entrance.”

“Stark.”

His voice was quiet, but the alley dulled the voices from the expo. Stark was looking at the Asset with a confused, but polite smile. He probably looked suspicious, a hulking stranger trying to sneak into the side. Stark raised an eyebrow.

“You are very underdressed for this affair. I appreciate that.”

The Asset was in all black. It helped him stay unnoticed, but Stark was noticing him now. His gaze looked him over and the Asset found a marker in his pocket and took it out. Stark smiled.

“An autograph?”

The Asset nodded. Let Stark think him a simple fan. Not a hired weapon. The Asset was not a fan at all, because that was a variation on fanatic and the Asset was nothing like that. 

Stark’s smile was wide, but it wasn’t very bright. The Asset had never been this close to the man, but now he could notice things, even in the thin light of the alley. The amber of his eyes. The perfectly styled hair that looked polished, but also like it would be soft. Further testing would be required to prove that hypothesis.

He also noticed that Stark’s skin, usually olive-toned in photos, was pale. Almost waxy. And there were dark bruises under his eyes. Stark did not look well.

He didn’t even smell like booze. No, it was more… minty. Earthy. The Asset couldn’t place it, but it was definitely not alcohol. More like grass, really.

“Hello?”

The Asset realized he was analyzing Stark for so long, he had not responded. He held out the pen with a nod and Stark took it, their skin brushing for the barest second. The Asset wasn’t sure when he last touched someone outside of a fight. It was odd.

“So, what do you want me to sign?”

The Asset froze, even though he was already still. He had nothing to be signed. No poster, magazine, paper of any kind. All he had was…

The second the knife was in his hand, Stark’s eyes widened. “Um, hot guy in an alley isn’t the worst way to die, I guess. Honestly, some of the best memories of my twenties start like this.”

Stark held up his hands and the Asset was confused. And threatened. And some warm emotion that made his cheeks heat up. It wasn’t happiness. It was…

Embarrassment.

“No, I-” He turned the knife around, handing it to Stark hilt first. 

Stark slowly took the knife and looked it over, his face softening.

“This is an impressive piece. People prefer me making things that explode, so not many of these out there.”

Stark scrawled a signature onto the base of the blade and handed it back with a wink. “I don’t know how long that will last. If you want something more… permanent,” he pulled a card out of his jacket and handed it over with the marker.

The Asset looked at it. It had the SI logo and a number printed on it. He had Tony Stark’s number. He felt another warm feeling, this time not embarrassment. 

Looking up, he saw Stark was amused and the Asset finally realized what had happened. Stark thought he was trying to attack him. The situation had some humour, considering he had previously been hired to assassinate him. It was also not funny, because if he had been planning to kill Stark, he would’ve been able to, Hydra skills or no. The dumb genius was alone in a creepy alleyway. Stark had been kidnapped, he should be better at this. 

“Where’s your bodyguard?”

Stark glanced around with a furrowed brow, so the Asset clarified. 

“Iron Man.” It was difficult to not sound bitter. The Asset would be a way better pilot than whoever had it now. Not even around to save Stark from crazed fans. 

Stark shrugged. “He has the night off. I do, too, if you want-”

“Why did you stop?” The Asset interrupted. Stark’s easy smile fell and the Asset held up the knife. The genius’ face darkened for the barest moment, making him look even sicker than before. The expression passed quickly, but his voice was fierce. As deadly as the weapons he used to make.

“I saw what they could do.”

That made no sense. The Asset also saw what they could do and they didn’t make him sad and that meant they were good, right? Before he could say more, Stark was walking past him and on his way.

The Asset felt like he had done something wrong, like he was being punished for something. He didn’t know what, though, so he left the alley to continue his mission. To aim Winter at a target and shoot.

Chapter Text

He didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last time Hydra woke the Asset up from a cryo sleep.

He had no reason to be suspicious. He woke up. He slung Winter over his shoulder. He met his latest handler and was given his next target.

Nick Fury, agent of the organization known as SHIELD. 

More difficult than other missions, but he would manage. After all, he had Stark tech on his side. 

Unfortunately, they did too.

There were no giant logos stamped onto them, but he recognized such beautiful technology. Nothing else could be so elegant. They had Stark weapons that the Asset didn’t, and that wasn’t fair.

Nevertheless, he managed to kill his target. It was over. He was done.

At least, he thought so. But then he had another target: Captain America. He wasn’t sure what kind of name that was. Maybe French?

The captain was some blond guy and he was strong. Maybe as strong as the Asset, which wasn’t something he saw often. His shield was well made, the power sending vibrations up his arm as he caught it in his hand. It didn’t seem like it was SI, but it was pretty damn close. Part of the Asset wanted to just keep the shield, but he would prefer one without the paint job.

He fought the captain because that’s what he had to do, but obeying orders made his head hurt. Even though he was listening, he had the feeling he wasn’t supposed to hurt this guy.

His hazy mind allowed for his masked to get knocked off and the captain’s eyes went round in shock.

“Bucky?”

What the hell was a ‘Bucky’?

The Asset didn’t think he spoke, but his head was still hurting. The blond guy kept looking at him like they had met before. Like the Asset should recognize him. He didn’t. Maybe the man was a past handler? Maybe the memory was erased for security? It wouldn’t be the first time.

That battle ended, but they met again. And the captain still acted like the Asset should know who he was. It was only when the man was falling into the water that something flashed. The Asset had fallen once, too. He couldn’t place when or where, but the man had been there and he had reached out. Had he pushed him?

No… he… he was helping him. The man had called that word; “Bucky.”

He had known this man at some point and he just couldn’t remember it, but he figured the man shouldn’t die. He couldn’t die, part of him was urging.

So the Asset saved him. He didn’t really know why he did it or how he was able to disobey orders, but for some reason he was allowed to go to the end of the line for this captain.

The Asset didn’t want to be around him anymore, though, because it made his head feel like it was stuffed with cotton. 

Instinctively, he started back to the Hydra base, but he didn’t really want to go there. Not wanting something was a feeling he was still getting used to. He had never really wanted before, but it had just been an absence of the thing. Now was a sharp opposite. He dreaded going back to the base. The closest he had ever felt to this before was when he had to use Hammer tech.

But he had to return. Didn’t he?

He thought about ignoring orders. About taking some time to himself to muddle through his fuzzy mind. And there was no sharp pain. A dull ache, sure, but only slightly more noticeable than the one that was always there.

Would it be so bad if he… didn’t go back? He had Winter, the rest of his collection was in a warehouse far from his base, and what else did he need? 

He walked away from where he was supposed to go. He didn’t know where he wanted to go, but logic dictated he should hide the gun strapped to his shoulder if he was going to be among civilians. He didn’t want to leave Winter unattended, but being arrested would just end with him back at Hydra.

He wound up hiding on the roof of a building, well out of sight. From his vantage point, he could see the sprawling campus of the Smithsonian. Museums had information, right? And his knowledge indicated the Smithsonian was one of the better ones.

With Winter stowed and his stomach twisted with nausea, he made his way over. It took a while to actually enter the building, the Asset getting chosen for more extensive security check for some reason, but once inside he was surrounded by posters of the captain, advertising a whole exhibit about him. Apparently he was some kind of hero, whatever that meant.

He walked through, looking at the pictures. It was an odd feeling, like trying to catch a moonbeam with his hands. He felt like he should realize something, that something should click, but it didn’t. 

Until he saw the picture. 

The Asset rarely looked in the mirror. What was the point? It didn’t affect his missions. But, he had done so once or twice that he could remember, so when he saw the picture of the man known as “Bucky Barnes”, the Asset recognized himself.

He was a Bucky.

He read the description. About the Sergeant who fought beside Captain America, who died bravely on a mission. Who was, apparently, also a hero.

But the Asset wasn’t dead. Was he? And if he wasn’t… had he really had a life? Was there a time that existed before he was a weapon of Hydra? Was he ever a “Bucky?”

The questions were heavy in his head, pressing against his skull, and he had to sit down for a moment before he had a chance to fall over.

He couldn’t go back to Hydra. He wouldn’t. Not when there were so many things to figure out. Not when he had so many of what could be emotions whirling about inside him. He wanted to remember and going back into cryo wouldn’t do that.

So he would leave Hydra. He would live in the real world and try to pass as a normal human, with a house and a car and a job. He needed money, beyond the little he had leftover from his handler for expenses. 

He wondered briefly if Stark Industries was hiring.

Chapter Text

The Asset had never not worked for someone before. At least, from the memories he could access. Maybe this “Bucky Barnes” had done all sorts of things, but the Asset did what he was told to do.

Except for now. And all those other times since finding Winter.

It was an odd feeling. Being able to go wherever he wanted for however long he wanted and do whatever he wanted. Definitely odd.

And not in the good way.

When he stopped by a market for food, he was overwhelmed by the amount of choices. How was he supposed to know what was right? What if he chose wrong? Were grapes supposed to be that much money?

In the end he went for the closest stall, a lady selling plums, and bought enough to not have to go shopping for a week. So long as he was okay with only eating plums, which he was. He would have to be, considering he used up a good chunk of the money he had on him.

He knew he had to find work, he just wasn’t sure who would be hiring a one-armed assassin with a whole slew of issues. The Stark business card was burning a hole in his pocket.

He didn’t want to do that. He did not want to have his hopes crushed. Besides, Baskin Robbins had turned him away for having no credentials beyond his fake ID (which they didn’t know was fake, but still). If Baskin Robbins said no, he doubted Stark Industries would say yes.

After walking away from yet another rejection, the Asset realized he needed better credentials than his single ID. He needed Hydra.

He couldn’t go back to the base. Shouldn’t. It would be suicide, at least in the death of this new version of himself that had agency. If they found him, they’d wipe his brain and he’d lose everything. Maybe even his collection. Winter.

He’d also forget about whoever Bucky Barnes was, but at least that was information he could find out again. His handmade Stark revolver was one of a kind, dammit.

No, he couldn’t go back there. But, he had been a Hydra weapon for however long it was. He knew the agents and he knew that they all had devices that could create a new identity easily, in case they needed to go off the grid. The Asset was never given one, considering he didn’t have enough of an identity to replace, but he could track down one of the others.

It was almost too simple, considering his training and knowledge. Also, Bob wasn’t known for being the most responsible Hydra agent. The Asset just had to follow him to a bar and two beers in the device was slipped out of Bob’s pocket and stuffed into the Asset’s jacket. It was weird to have a mission without violence, but not terrible. After all, he didn’t want to hurt Bob. It was Bob.

The Asset made it to a late night cafe and connected to the wifi. The device was thin and rectangle, sort of like a phone except it couldn’t call anyone. Somewhere in the back of his mind some handler had downloaded the knowledge to use it and in a couple of hours he had an identity worthy of being hired, even by Stark Industries. Heck, even by Baskin Robbins.

The next morning found him squeezed into a phonebooth and staring at the business card. Fear was not something programmed into the Asset, and yet it was the only way to describe how he felt. Perhaps it was that Bucky Barnes messing with his data.

Eventually, he set himself the mission. He would work at SI and he would get access to all the badass weapons, even if Stark wasn’t making them. Maybe he’d get more knives, as he only had the two.

Having a mission, even a pretty mild one, was familiar. So was wanting Stark weapons. Those thoughts motivated him to dial the number on the card.

It rang. And rang. And rang.

The Asset considered hanging up, but then there was a click and a slurred voice spoke.

“Pepper, I have not had coffee yet.”

The Asset was confused. “You put pepper in coffee?”

There was a pause, and then “This isn’t Pepper.”

The Asset swallowed, that feeling like fear creeping up again. “You signed my knives.”

“Huh? Wait… You?! That was ages ago, wow. You didn’t call, I thought I was losing my touch. I mean, sure, I wasn’t as handsome as usual given the circumstances, but I was still pretty charming, right?”

“What.” The Asset did not understand.

Stark laughed. “Never mind. What can I do for you? Is this a booty call? Because it’s pretty early for that.”

The Asset didn’t know what Stark was saying, but maybe that’s how it was with geniuses. Everything they said was just beyond understanding.

“Jefferson. My name is Jefferson,” he gave the name on his ID. “I wanted to apply to SI. How do I do that?”

“A job?” Now Stark sounded confused, which was weird because the Asset didn’t think geniuses could get confused.

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, normally we recruit,” Stark’s voice changed, the Asset noticed, it was more tense. “Best way to get the best and brightest. What’s your background? Which area of science did you study?”

“Not science,” the Asset said. Sure, he understood how to use Hydra equipment and he knew how beautiful his collection was, but he was nowhere near smart enough for that, not for Stark Industries.

He heard Stark take a slow breath. “I haven’t had coffee, so I could be confused, but… you’re calling me, Tony Stark, years after we met, for a job? Not in the field of science?”

That was years ago? Was he really frozen that long? Stark described the situation like it was weird, which, granted, it probably was. What was the Asset supposed to do? He needed to complete this mission. Wanted to, even.

The silence was heavy and if the Asset could feel embarrassment, he would. As it was his face felt unnaturally warm. He tried to think of an explanation and thought of Bucky Barnes.

“I was military. I just… left and am looking for work. I found your card.” That sounded reasonable. Stark must’ve thought so too, because his response was less shocked, his voice softer.

“Oh shit, yea, that’s… that’s rough buddy. Honestly, you would love Rhodey, he is always ranting about how shit things can be for veterans and- well, you know. Look, I know we’re always looking for security people. I can give you Happy’s number, he’s in charge of that. You can meet him and he can help you.”

The Asset was disconcerted by Stark’s sudden shift in demeanor, but also he might get to work at SI.

“Thank you,” he said with as much human emotion as he could channel into it. Not a lot, but more than usual.

“Forget about it, I remember you. You’re doing a favour for me, having someone like you on security. Happy’s the one you have to impress, though. He acts tough, but just mention Downton Abbey and he’ll melt like chocolate.”

The Asset made a note to search whatever that was and then memorized the number Stark gave him.

“Thank you,” he said again because he couldn’t say anything else. When he hung up, he immediately called Happy. He didn’t understand the weird name, but it was fitting. After all, that was almost what the emotion in his chest was.

Chapter Text

The Asset was standing in front of a coffee shop. Through the window he could see a man sitting at a table, smiling brightly as he typed on his phone. He was wearing a suit and his face was round and open.

The Asset was terrified.

Focusing on the mission, he went inside and walked up to the table.

“Happy?”

The man looked up and frowned. “I suppose. I’ve had worse days.”

The Asset froze. Had he made a mistake? Was this not-

The man chuckled. “Sorry, I have to make jokes before anyone can make fun of my name. Please, sit.”

The Asset let out a breath and sat. Happy took a sip of his drink, looking over the cup to where the Asset was only not squirming because he was well trained.

When the cup was back on the table, Happy’s mouth was a firm line.

“I’ve worked for Mr. Stark for many years. His security is my highest priority and the only reason I’m not with him at this moment is because he asked me for a favour. And because the men I’ve assigned to him are ones I’ve hand picked myself.”

The Asset wanted to mention that Stark had been kidnapped, but surmised that it wouldn’t help this interview.

“So, Jefferson, why should I offer you a job? Especially when you only called my boss because you wanted something. For all I know you could be using him or me or Stark Industries for some nefarious purpose.”

The Asset wasn’t threatened by Happy; he could easily take him if it came down to it. However, Happy was all that stood between the Asset and being surrounded by Stark tech so he needed to come up with a convincing reason to hire a psychologically questionable es-assassin.

Looking into Happy’s eyes, though, the Asset wondered if maybe the truth was best.

“I have nothing else. No friends, no family, no pets. If I’m hired, this job would be my life and would get all of my focus. I’ve worked with Stark tech while serving and I know it deserves protection. The mind behind it too,” the Asset added at Happy’s raised eyebrow.

The Asset waited for a response, Happy’s scrutinizing gaze much different from those of his past handlers. He wasn’t a weapon being checked for faults anymore. For that brief moment, someone was searching for his humanity. 

“I see how you got Tony to vouch for you. He always was a bleeding heart. Look, I can see you’re big and imposing and that’s always great for security, but I don’t know you. I don’t trust you.”

The Asset blocked out the thoughts pointing out that Happy was right not to trust him. He needed the big guns.

“Thomas Barrow wasn’t liked, but it took time for people to realize he was a good person.” The Asset really hoped the Downton Abbey message board he saw that on knew what it was talking about.

Happy narrowed his eyes. “You watch Downton Abbey?”

The Asset shrugged. “Something to do while overseas.”

Happy leaned back and crossed his arms. “If I hire you, it would be probationary for a time. You would have to work you way up from the bottom and it will not be easy.”

“Would I be protecting Stark?”

Happy frowned. “That’s Iron Man’s job.” His voice was bitter and the Asset wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one who didn’t like the bodyguard.

“That’s not enough,” the Asset spat out. Happy looked like he agreed with him, even if he couldn’t say so.

“I am also on Tony’s personal security. Trust me, we do not assign the newbies to his detail.”

“Of course.” The Asset wasn’t disappointed at all. He couldn’t be, since he hadn’t been hoping.

After a few more questions about his past and false answers that the Asset hoped he wouldn’t forget, they shook hands and parted ways, Happy promising to let him know his decision as soon as possible.

Three days later, when he was on his last plum and wondering if he should give Baskin Robbins another go, he got the call. He had a job at Stark Industries.

***

His first day was very long, but only because he was trying to memorize every detail. 

The Asset showed up an hour early and was given his uniform to change into. It wasn’t that different from his Hydra one, black and practical and protective, but this uniform had the SI logo emblazoned on the chest. It was probably higher quality and more durable than whatever Hydra used, anyway. He was grateful for being early when he spent far too long tracing the embroidered letters.

Happy was right about having to work his way up, but he was clearly using the Asset’s imposing appearance by stationing him by the entrance to the building. At least the lesser threats would be scared off after one look at him.

He had to go without Winter, because apparently security guards don’t carry rifles for some reason, but the gun he was issued was Stark tech and it took all his effort to not examine it in a completely professional way that was not weird at all. He also had two Stark tasers now, so that was brilliant.

The morning would’ve been boring, as nothing threatening happened, but it was interesting to the Asset. He took in the area, familiarizing himself with the new environment. Some of the other guards tried to talk to him, but the Asset would not be distracted. He told Happy he would give this his all and that’s exactly what he would do.

He was allowed a few breaks during the day, but he wasn’t willing to go too far from the building. So, when lunchtime rolled around, he sat at the lobby cafe. He had no idea what a latte was when he ordered it, but was pleased with the results. Maybe next time he’d try a flavour.

The afternoon seemed like it would be the same as the morning, but then he saw Happy entering the building. And behind him: Tony Stark.

The Asset hadn’t been near the man since the Expo, which, apparently, was years ago. He looked much better. He wasn’t as sick or tired and he walked with purpose, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. The Asset liked this version better. He looked more like the genius the Asset had always imagined when his mouth hinted at a smile.

The Asset did his job, looking around for danger. The only threat that seemed imminent was the fact that Stark had spotted him and was walking towards him, despite Happy’s clear disapproval.

“Jefferson!”

The Asset almost didn’t answer at the fake name, which was something he’d have to work on. He couldn’t hide his discomfort at Stark calling him that, but Stark either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

Stark laughed, though the Asset wasn’t sure why.

“So, was it that cheery disposition that managed to woo Happy?”

Stark smiled at him and the Asset found speaking to be quite difficult. He decided to just shrug.

“Well, hope you get settled in okay and don’t let Happy rattle you too much.”

Stark turned to leave, but the Asset stopped him with a hand on his arm. Gently this time, having learned from the knife debacle.

“Thank you, again.”

Stark looked at him, mouth opened slightly, and the Asset wished he weren’t wearing those damn glasses so he could see his eyes and figure out what the genius was thinking.

Stark smiled at him, different than the blinding one from before. Soft and sweet and ten times more powerful. The Asset let his grip go and Stark pulled down his glasses the barest hint so he could send a wink.

“Any time, soldier.”

Stark left and he watched after him, momentarily failing at his job from the distraction. He liked Stark calling him ‘soldier’ a hell of a lot better than being called a fake name. It made him feel less like an object for Hydra’s use. He had a choice now and he used it to choose a new path.

The Soldier had a duty and he would protect Tony Stark.

Chapter Text

The Soldier knew things about jobs. He knew that services were performed and that money was often the method of compensation and he also knew that his time with Hydra was not a job. Sure, he was given the basic necessities for survival, but there was no say, no time or money for side interests (his Stark collection a mere accident).

This new realization of his time at Hydra was largely brought on by his first actual job (that he could remember — who knew what Bucky Barnes did) at Stark Industries. For one, he had an actual, quite generous paycheck that he could spend however he wanted. For another, he was given breaks, as though he needed to rest every few hours for some reason. Maybe that was something regular guards needed.

There were other little things — co-workers asking how his day was going, staff surveys from Human Resources — and they added up to a substantially different work environment. A happier one. He knew Bob praised Hydra’s great dental, but the Soldier had no such perks, until now. He wondered if he should go for a check up, even though the serum meant he really didn’t need one.

He didn’t go to the dentist, of course. He had days off and plenty of time, but the Soldier didn’t like going too far from the tower. He’d book a night at a nearby hotel if he needed a shower or more than an hour’s sleep, but otherwise he did his job. The cryo was enough rest for a lifetime and the Soldier wanted to enjoy every moment of being awake and in control. He was immersed in Project Firecracker, because with Tony Stark, that project would never be completed.

By the end of his first month as a bodyguard, he had adapted to his new life. Happy told him off after refusing to take breaks when he was supposed to, so the lobby cafe became his respite. It allowed for good vantage of the area, and he was finding that there was better coffee than plain lattes. Frappuccinos had become his favourite, especially with a heap of whipped cream. When he wasn’t watching the doors, his breaks were spent watching the behind the scenes of the baristas making all kinds of fancy drinks. He found it fascinating, even if he couldn’t focus too much in case he missed something.

He was just finishing a break, walking back to his post, when Stark was arriving with Happy. He was always only with Happy and the Soldier did not like it. The news kept praising Iron Man’s feats and yet the Soldier had not run into him once doing his actual job protecting Stark.

Ignoring his irritation, the Soldier looked around for any threats. There hadn’t been any situations all month, but the Soldier knew to never let his guard down, and he was right.

Happy’s gaze kept shifting, clearly catching the guy following them from a safe (but obvious) distance. Unfortunately, Happy missed that their tail was too amateur, wanting to be noticed. He was just a distraction.

The Soldier picked up on the real threat, amidst a crowd of people in suits. She blended in, but her hand was in her jacket reaching for something. She did not get a chance to pull whatever it was out, though, because the Soldier was across the floor and tackling her down within a minute.

Happy, more competent than the Soldier had given him credit for, was unfazed by the action and immediately moved to pin the decoy to a wall. The area was filled with shouts as people joined the chaos, the rest of security rushing to regain order.

The woman the Soldier had captured was struggling, probably trying to use her weapon, but the Soldier took it from her and tossed it to Stark, who managed to catch it effortlessly despite his shock. The Soldier allowed himself two seconds to be suitably impressed as the woman spat a curse at him.

“Well, shit,” Stark said as he looked over the weapon. It was made of plastic, which was why the metal detectors didn’t go off, but the Soldier had no doubt it could do damage. Stark tucked it into his jacket, most likely planning on studying it later. Maybe he’d make an improved version of it. Would the Soldier get to see it?

Happy walked over to them, the decoy now handcuffed and being walked away by a guard. He nodded to the Soldier, who stood and allowed the woman to get up and be cuffed by another guard.

“Screw you, Stark,” she shouted as she was taken away. “You can’t keep hiding behind other people’s bodies!”

Her shouts quieted when she was gone and Tony was frowning, eyes hidden behind his usual sunglasses. Happy was checking him over like an overprotective mother and the Soldier resisted the urge to do the same.

“I’m fine, Happy, I wasn’t even involved! He should be checked over,” Stark was looking at him now. “You okay, soldier?”

Stark was impressed and, in combination with the nickname, it was all the Soldier could do not to preen.

“I’m fine.”

“Great. Thank you, by the way. That was definitely one of the hottest things I have ever seen. Generally speaking, of course,” Stark added at a pointed glare from Happy. “I would never objectify my employees.”

“Sure, boss,” Happy rolled his eyes. “We better get you to safety. And I’ll have to fill out a report. You too, Jefferson.”

The Soldier nodded and followed them. Stark gave him another look. 

“I really am grateful. Is there something I can do to say thanks?”

The Soldier frowned. “For doing my job?”

Stark shrugged. “Well, yea. I mean, that was pretty badass and I like to reward badassery. So long as I’m not being upstaged, of course.” 

Stark smiled at him, and just like the other times, it made the Soldier feel a little too warm.

“It’s fine.”

“You sure? I am Tony Stark, after all. You don’t want a raise, a day off, a promotion?”

“Boss…” Happy sent the Soldier an apologetic look, clearly used to Stark’s antics. The Soldier nodded in acknowledgement before the words finally processed. Promotion?

“Well, um, maybe,” he had no idea how he was supposed to ask. Had he been working there long enough? “If you want, I could… join your security detail? Offer more protection?”

Stark stopped walking, which meant Happy and the Soldier did, too. He couldn’t tell what Stark was thinking with those glasses on, so he looked at the ground instead.

“You want to be my personal guard.”

The Soldier shrugged. “Just to make sure you’re safe.”

“You know that’s Iron Man’s job, right?”

Before the Soldier had time to understand why this was a terrible idea, he looked up at Stark and blurted out “But Iron Man sucks!”

Stark’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

The Soldier hoped his rational thought had returned as he scrambled for an explanation. “Not the suit, of course. The tech is amazing. It’s just the pilot.” Nope, guess it hadn’t.

Stark seemed offended, while Happy looked like he was trying not to laugh. The Soldier found himself missing the cryo chamber for once.

“I just meant, he’s not always around. Which I’m sure there are reasons for. The suit is not for stealth. But I am. Stealthy. So I could…” The Soldier had rarely talked this much from what he could remember and maybe there was a good reason for that.

Stark lowered his sunglasses as he looked at Happy and they had a brief, silent conversation.

“Well,” Stark turned back to the Soldier, glasses back in place. “You’re probably not the first to think Iron Man is negligent, so maybe extra security would be smart.”

The Soldier felt his heartbeat speed up. Had his awkward fumbling… worked?

“Happy makes all security decisions.” Happy snorted, but Stark just coughed and continued. “He gets final say. If he gives you the go ahead, I guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Stark lowered his glasses to give a wink and it took the Soldier too long to regain his composure and head to security to fill out those forms. The report for the incident that day, as well as the ones Happy slid over to him regarding his transfer.

Chapter Text

The Soldier didn’t know how, exactly, it had happened, but by the end of the week Happy notified him that he was to move into the tower to provide full security for Stark. The Soldier did his best not to gape like an idiot.

“I thought you didn’t trust me?”

Happy shrugged, handing the Soldier a coffee before taking a seat across from him. It was nearing the end of the day, so the lobby cafe wasn’t too crowded anymore. “Still don’t. Not yet. But you saved the boss and you’ve done a good job so far. Besides, I know if you try and pull anything Iron Man can take care of you.”

The Soldier almost scoffed, considering he had yet to see the bodyguard doing his job, but figured it was better that Happy didn’t think him a threat.

“You start Monday,” Happy placed a new badge and a thick folder onto the table. “You can read those, some last things to sign, and Ms. Potts will meet you to get you settled in.”

The Soldier frowned. “The CEO?” Surely, she had better things to do that give tours to new hires. Happy was unperturbed. 

“She knows the boss best and can give you more info than even he could. Plus, she’s probably the one I trust most in this company with the boss’ wellbeing. More than myself and definitely more than Iron Man.”

“Right.” The Soldier didn’t know much about her, except watching her come and go from the building. He nodded to Happy. “I’ll go pack, then.”

“You,” Happy paused. “I know you said you don’t have anyone, but if living here is a big commitment-”

“It’s fine,” the Soldier said. “It’s the better option for Stark’s safety.”

Happy smiled. “Good. Also, Pepper will give you the shpiel, but I might as well warn you. The boss, I love him, but he can be a bit of a handful.”

The Soldier frowned. “I have two hands,” he waved them for emphasis. The metal one was gloved, so people didn’t know it was fake. Right?

 Happy rolled his eyes. “Sure, but nevertheless. Don’t let him pull one over on you. Hopefully he’ll try to ditch you less, what with the whole ‘eye candy’ thing,” he gestured to the Soldier, who was rather confused by the statement. “But if he does get too much, call me or Pepper. Or just bring him coffee.”

The Soldier looked at his cup. He could learn to make coffee, he’d been watching the baristas work for weeks now. If he made it well enough, could he get Stark in a good enough mood to build something?

“Got it,” the Soldier stood up to leave and Happy looked at him with a strange expression.

“I don’t trust you, but I want to. So, please… take care of him?”

The Soldier nodded and left.

***

Monday dawned and the Soldier was at the tower exactly on time. He didn’t have much to pack, especially as he opted to leave most of his collection in hiding. He wasn’t sure if he would make it through security and he didn’t know how to explain it to Stark. He wouldn’t want to come across as weird or anything.

Virginia Potts met him in the lobby with a clipboard and a smile that did nothing to detract from her analyzing gaze. 

“You’re… Jefferson?” She spoke like she didn’t believe it and the Soldier hoped his nerves weren’t giving away the fact that he was a complete fraud. About his name, at least.

He nodded and she turned, clearly expecting him to follow. He did, and they entered the elevators where Ms. Potts scanned her ID.

“Your new badge will allow you access to the residence. When you first use it, it will ask you for a code. Try not to forget it. And don’t write it down anywhere.”

“I have a good memory.”

She raised an eyebrow and the elevator passed the third floor. Gosh, the tower was tall. He resisted the urge to pull at his suddenly too-tight collar.

“You’re main job is following Tony. If he is somewhere, I expect to see you right behind. You’re lucky, as he spends most of his time in the workshop, but that means you better make damn well sure the floor is secure, got it?”

He nodded again before gathering enough courage to ask a question. “Why doesn’t Iron Man follow him around?”

Ms. Potts rolled her eyes. “Because he sucks at his job.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, why is he Mr. Stark’s bodyguard if everyone seems to dislike him?”

“We like him fine,” her voice was firm. “He’s just a little reckless. And he was hired by Tony so we don’t have much say in the matter.”

“Of course. So, Mr. Stark hasn’t had any full time bodyguard?”

“To be honest, no one wanted the job. We’re actually pretty lucky you offered your services,” she gave him a quick, genuine smile before the formal mask returned.

“And Happy? He’s not round the clock?”

“He was, for a bit. Of course, Tony tends to ditch him every chance he gets. Recently he’s been reassigned.” Her cheeks flushed the barest pink and the Soldier was going to ask, but then the elevator reached the top floor.

“Welcome back, Ms. Potts.”

The Soldier jumped, looking around wildly for the source of the voice and finding none. Ms. Potts laughed at him.

“That’s JARVIS. He’s the AI that runs… well, anything that I don’t.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jefferson.”

“You too?” It came out more of a question.

“This way,” Ms. Potts was already walking and the Soldier followed her to a spacious kitchen.

“Everything here is well stocked, you’re welcome to whatever. If you can get Tony to eat, I will owe you my first born. JARVIS is always around so you can ask him if you have any questions or get lost. This is for you,” she pulled out a slim phone and handed it over.

“We like to keep everyone on the same model, all provided by SI, of course. I’ve synced up your calendar with Tony’s so you’ll know his schedule. Happy and I are added as contacts, as well as Rhodey. You haven’t met him yet, but he’s who you call if we don’t answer. Or if Tony is drinking peach schnapps. Don’t even bother with Happy or me, then.”

The Soldier nodded, briefly grateful to Hydra conditioning that he was able to process all that.

“You have the forms?”

He handed them over and Ms. Potts quickly flipped through before tucking them under her arm. “Perfect! JARVIS can show you to your room so you can get settled. Though first let’s talk with Tony, who should be up here in three… two…”

They both looked at the door when, as predicted, Tony Stark walked in. He was in his usual suit, but this time it was very rumpled and missing a tie, like he’d been wearing it for a few days now. His hair was gelled, but apparently not recently either because time had resculpted it into a stunning display of spikes. The overall appearance was startling, to say the least, though most startling of all was the lack of sunglasses. The Soldier could finally get a good look at those warm, brown eyes, currently drooped with exhaustion. They were nice.

“Pepper, I-”

He was cut off by a mug being shoved into his hands. The Soldier hadn’t even noticed her pour it, which should be alarming. He was a little distracted, though, by Stark tipping his head back and draining the steaming beverage in a single gulp.

The Soldier was familiar with pain, but that was just unnatural. When he finished, Stark didn’t act like his esophagus was burnt off, though he did give a small shudder and purse his lips like he’d tasted something foul.

Ms . Potts was clearly used to such antics. “Are you functioning, yet?”

Stark held up three fingers, then two, then one, then lowered his hand and smiled. His eyes — significantly more alert — paused on the Soldier.

“You’re here!” Clearly Stark wasn’t fully functioning yet.

“I am.”

“Great, well you’ve met Pepper and JARVIS. Rhodey’s not around, but if he shows up, try not to kill him on sight. Or maim him, his face is too pretty. Otherwise, that’s everyone.”

“What about Iron Man?”

Stark looked at him in confusion for a moment before Ms. Potts coughed and his eyes widened. “For sure! He’s... somewhere. He tends to do his own thing, but you’ll run into him eventually.”

“Shouldn’t we meet up to coordinate security?”

Stark waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, he’s not good at coordination.”

“He pilots a flying suit.”

“With people, I meant.” Stark grinned and the Soldier didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. If he had the suit, he would do so much better. Sure, he wasn’t good with people, either, but at least he’d be better at protecting Stark.

“Of course, Mr. Stark.”

“Oh no, soldier. If we’re going to spend all this quality time together, just call me Tony.”

“Of course… Tony.”

Ms. Potts cleared her throat. “Well, everything seems in order, so I’ll get back to work. Behave, boys. Tony, be gentle.”

“I’m always gentle,” Tony winked at her. The Soldier hadn’t known he was so generous with those.

The Soldier escorted her to the elevator. And shook her hand before she got in.

“Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“Please, call me Pepper. Might as well get comfortable when you’re going to be calling me at 3am because you lost Tony.”

The Soldier stepped back and the doors closed before he needed to force a polite smile. Clearly, she was joking.

Right?

Chapter Text

He hadn’t lost Tony, his training was too good for that. Also, it was 2am, not 3. Nevertheless, it was only a day later that he was dialing Pepper. 

“What did he do?”

“I don’t think he’s dead?”

The Soldier was kneeling on the ground next to Tony, who was unconscious and curled around a hammer like it was a teddy bear. He was wearing most of a suit, though a lot of the hems were slightly singed, and his hair gave off the “just electrocuted” vibe that, surprisingly, worked for him.

“So he’s breathing?” Pepper did not seem as panicked about the situation as the Soldier was. He would’ve had a heart attack at the sight if he hadn’t needed to stay focused on looking after his boss.

“Yes.” He held Tony’s wrist, carefully measuring his pulse. “But he smells like burning.”

“What kind of burning? Is it like gasoline or toast?”

The Soldier sniffed. “Um, smoky? Like fire, not cigarettes.”

“That’s fine. Sounds like a typical working binge. He’ll nap, then he’ll need caffeine, and then he’ll be good to go.”

“But he’s drooling on a hammer.”

“He used to have a security blanket, but it caught fire. The hammer is more durable.”

The Soldier let Tony’s wrist fall so he could pinch the bridge of his nose. “Of course.”

“Look, this happens a lot. It’s not great, but for Tony it’s pretty good. Just leave him and try not to be too close to his hammer when he wakes up.”

“That’s it? But he’s-”

“Jefferson, it is two in the morning. Let him sleep. Get some sleep. Let me sleep. He’s in the building, so consider your first day a win.”

The Soldier did not feel like he’d won. But Pepper knew more than he did so he’d just have to trust her.

“Alright. Thanks.”

“Any time. But not really. Because I want to sleep.”

With that she hung up and the Soldier was back at staring at his boss. He knew Tony was a genius and his ways were beyond the Soldier’s comprehension, but things like this made him wonder if Tony might also be a bit of an idiot. Nevertheless, he couldn’t just leave him there, the floor was not made for sleeping, even expensive floors of billionaires. 

Sighing, he picked Tony up, careful that the hammer didn’t leave his grip, and carried him to the common area to set him on the couch. Tony shifted slightly, but didn’t wake up.

The room was a little drafty, so the Soldier decided to put a blanket over him, just in case. When Tony looked comfortable (hammer aside), he went to the kitchen.

Despite the late hour, he had no desire to sleep. Besides, he should stay around in case Tony woke up or accidentally hammered his face. For the next few hours, he kept vigilance.

It was nearing five in the morning when he heard shuffling and the Soldier had a mug of coffee at the ready when Tony entered, eyes blinking slowly.

“You’re alive.”

Tony nodded, taking the mug and holding it close to his chest as he took a moment to just breathe it in. The Soldier moved to the stove, where he had some eggs frying.

“I had my doubts for a moment.”

Tony nodded again before taking a deep breath and draining the mug. He set it on the counter with a grimace and the Soldier frowned. Did he make terrible coffee?

He put some eggs on a plate for Tony before pouring himself a mug and taking a sip. It tasted fine. Maybe Tony liked something different?

“How do you take your coffee?”

Tony looked up, mouth full. He gave a swallow that, frankly, looked painful before answering. He seemed more alert after the hit of caffeine, at least.

“By the bucket.”

The Soldier rolled his eyes, serving himself some eggs. “But you didn’t like the coffee. Should I have put milk or sugar? Pepper gave it to you black before.”

“This is fine. All that matters is it’s caffeine and it’s there. Thank you, by the way. And for the eggs, you know that’s not your job, right?”

“I am in charge of your wellbeing. Having you die of starvation on my watch does not reflect well on me.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to ruin your pristine resume, Jefferson. ”

The Soldier frowned at the pointed look he was given. Tony said his (fake) name like he knew something, which was weird, because, while Tony might be a genius, the Soldier was sneaky. Of course, Tony was probably smarter than him, so maybe he had figured him out. But then why had he been promoted?

He coughed and looked down at his plate. “Your sleeping habits need work, too.”

“I don’t know, I think I work plenty.”

The Soldier looked up again and Tony’s face was back to normal, all suspicion gone. Lest the rest of the meal be in awkward silence, Tony spoke up.

“So, would I be able to look at your arm sometime?”

As soon as the words were said, Tony’s eyes widened as though the words weren’t his. 

“Wait, that was rude. I haven’t had enough caffeine. I’m sorry. I just meant- you know. And I’m, you know?”

The Soldier did not know and it must’ve shown because Tony looked skyward in an attempt to gather his thoughts. 

“Sorry. I just meant, I am a technologically savvy person. And your arm is technology. I figured, if you wanted, I could take a look at it? Well, I wanted, because I love tech, but also if it needed some maintenance or something. Heck, I could even paint it gold if you wanted.”

The Soldier felt his head spin and held the counter for support. An arm. Built by Tony Stark. He could have Stark tech attached to his body. He wanted to say yes so badly he thought he was going to throw up.

He went to speak, but what came out was “I thought you don’t make weapons anymore.”

“I don’t,” Tony’s face went stony before relaxing again. “It’s an arm, though. Not really a weapon.”

The Soldier stared at Tony, this man who thought an arm was just an arm. That anything relating to the Soldier could be used for anything that wasn’t destruction. All of a sudden, it was too much.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Of course. Warning you now, though, if you catch me staring at you lustily, it’s only because of that sexy bit of tech you got.”

Tony winked and the Soldier’s face erupted in flames. He wouldn’t be surprised if he smelled like toast or gasoline with how much he was burning. Instinctively, he lifted a hand to rub at where his metal shoulder met flesh. Then he paused.

“How did you know?” He had kept his arm covered the whole time.

“Hello, genius?” Tony smirked before shrugging. “I have an eye for tech. And if you know what to look for, you can just tell.”

“Right.” The Soldier pulled off his gloves, realizing there wasn’t much point to them anymore. Immediately, he felt Tony’s gaze on him, probably drinking in the exposed metal. The Soldier decided to change the topic.

“Where’s Iron Man?”

“He’s busy.”

The Soldier resisted the urge to punch a wall. “Shouldn’t he be protecting you?”

Tony barked out a laugh. “From what? Besides, isn’t that your job now?”

He gave Tony a look and the genius laughed again before taking his dishes to the sink.

“Alright, alright. I’ll give him a call. He can stop by this afternoon.”

The Soldier nodded in satisfaction and Tony left, presumably to return to the workshop. He wasn’t ecstatic about Tony going right back to work, but figured he should pick his battles.

With Tony working, though, the Soldier didn’t have much to do. He went around the penthouse, making sure everything was secure. He wandered down to the workshop a couple of times to check that Tony was still alive, but never managed to muster enough courage to go inside.

Eventually, he wound up on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He read some more about Tony Stark and his announcement about the weapons division. He also read all the articles about Iron Man and how great he was and who he might be behind the mask. The Soldier closed those tabs.

He was just reading up what “eye candy” was, still confused after Happy mentioned it, when he heard heavy steps approaching him.

His knife was in his hand before the thought processed and within a breath it was pointed at a metal suit, shiny arms raised in surrender.

“I know the knife can’t  hurt me, but at least think of the paint job.”

The knife disappeared and the Soldier wished he had a snarky response now that he was face to (sorta) face with his enemy. However, his brain decided to pause as he took in the sleek metal and beautiful craftsmanship before him. Pictures and videos did not do the suit justice.

“Is this how Tony feels looking at my arm?”

Iron Man laughed, the sound echoing and hollow from the suit.

“I don’t know if anyone gets as horny for tech as Tony does, but you seem to be close.”

The Soldier refused to laugh, instead crossing his arms as he kept his face neutral. He turned his thoughts to the matter at hand, which, sadly, was not the suit, but rather the idiot inside it.

“Where have you been all day?”

“Around,” he walked over to the couch and sat down, feet resting on the coffee table. The Soldier ignored the intricate joints and ease of motion for such a sturdy suit as he attempted to focus.

“I’m part of Tony’s security now and I won’t let you slack off. Just because you were chosen to wear the suit doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”

Iron Man tilted his head and the Soldier wished he could see his face. Partly to know what he was thinking, though largely to punch him in his stupid face.

“I was hired by Tony for a reason. I do my job just fine.”

The Soldier rolled his eyes. “That’s why he was kidnapped in Afghanistan? And in the explosion at SI? And attacked in Monaco?”

“Someone’s done their research! Also, Afghanistan was before I was hired.”

“So you didn’t work for him before the suit?”

Iron Man didn’t respond and the Soldier felt slightly victorious.

“Look, maybe you’re his best buddy or whatever, but it’s not your job to be his friend. I don’t care if you’re his favourite person in the world; I’m here now and if there is even one scratch on his head, that suit will do nothing to protect you from me.”

Iron Man stood up and probably tried to be intimidating, but the Soldier was too busy trying to be angry despite the beautiful suit to be afraid.

“First of all, Colonel Rhodes is Tony’s favourite person. Never suggest otherwise. And second,” there was a metallic sigh. “I guess you’re in charge now, so I’ll do my best, I guess. Jeez, if you wanted to spend more time with me, you could’ve just said so.”

“I do not want to spend time with you,” the Soldier spat out. “Just protect Tony and don’t get in my way. You get to wear his suit, so try to earn it.”

“Of course. Nice meeting you, Jefferson. ”

He said the name like it was a joke. Like Iron Man still held all the cards. And maybe he did, seeing as he was the one who got to pilot that suit. 

The Soldier watched him leave and only his impeccable poise kept him from screaming in frustration. He’d show Iron Man and he’d show Tony. The Soldier would be the best bodyguard ever and then maybe he’d be the one to pilot the suit. 

He took a deep breath and returned to his phone, doing some more research to help calm his racing mind. Besides, he had work to do before the next morning.

***

The Soldier was in the kitchen when Tony stumbled in and, once again, he held up a mug for him to take.

Like before, Tony downed it in one, but this time there was no shudder or grimace. Instead, there was a small, soft smile on the genius’ tired face.

“What is this?”

The Soldier shrugged. “You clearly don’t like coffee, so I figured I’d try something different. It’s mocha, with some caramel syrup. Hopefully it masks the flavour a bit.”

Tony was looking at him with wide eyes. “But I- I like coffee.”

“You like caffeine,” the Soldier corrected. “Every time I’ve seen you drink coffee you look like you’re going to be sick. I had some time, so tried out a recipe I found online.”

Tony gave a sad look at his empty mug, until the Soldier produced a pot to refill it. Tony took a slow sip, actually savouring the flavour this time.

“You’re pretty clever, huh? I just don’t have time for- Wow, this is good. Thank you.”

Tony was looking at him so sincerely the Soldier had to turn away before he melted into a puddle.

“It’s nothing.”

“Thank you,” Tony repeated. “Also, Iron Man told me about yesterday and, well, glad to know you have my back.”

The Soldier wasn’t sure whether his face was red or white at the knowledge that Tony and Iron Man had talked about him.

“It’s my job,” he choked out. When he met Tony’s eyes again, they were filled with too many emotions to name.

“No, it’s really not. So thank you.”

The Soldier couldn’t help it. He smiled.

Chapter Text

It was a while before the Soldier finally met the famous Rhodey.

It didn’t feel like a while, as he was busy following Tony around everywhere, glaring at people who looked at his boss the wrong way, and, of course, bribing Tony with various coffee concoctions. Tony had really liked the mocha frappuccino, maybe he’d try caramel next.

The Soldier was in the kitchen, looking at his tablet and debating the benefits of acquiring a French Press when he sensed a presence.

He looked up in time to see Iron Man enter, though instead of his usual armor, he was sporting a muted silver.

“Red and gold finally too flashy for you?” The Soldier was a little bitter. Even after their ‘talk’, he’d rarely seen the pilot except on the news. Definitely never around Tony.

Iron Man tilted his head, as though confused, before a strange metallic sound echoed out. Perhaps it was laughter?

The Soldier’s suspicions were confirmed when the faceplate lifted up, revealing a face scrunched with humour. For a brief moment, he wondered if he was finally privy to Iron Man’s identity and maybe this was his chance to punch the guy in the face. Then the man spoke.

“Oh my god, I am definitely not Iron Man but I will have to tell him about this. Who are you? Are you the eye candy Happy mentioned?”

“I’m not eye candy,” the Soldier said, frowning. If he wasn’t Iron Man, why did he have a suit? A really pretty suit that seemed just as advanced as the original.

“Right, of course, sorry. Um, Jefferson, right?”

He stepped forward and held out a hand and the Soldier only shook it because he wanted to know what the armor felt like. It was very strong.

“As security, I’m going to have to ask for identification. How did you even get in?” 

Before the man could answer, a voice spoke from the doorway.

“Stand down, soldier. He’s a friendly.”

The Soldier turned to see Tony, who seemed to be restraining himself. Whatever control he had slipped away as he ran towards the intruder and leaped into his arms.

“Jesus, Tony. Sometimes I think you only gave me this armor so I could pick you up.”

Tony laughed. “I’m a damsel at heart, you know this. Besides, I hardly gave you the armor. You stole it.”

“Yes, I stole the armor calibrated to my voice patterns.”

The two of them were smiling at each other and the Soldier coughed awkwardly. The man put Tony down and grinned sheepishly.

“Oh, right, I’m Colonel James Rhodes.”

Rhodes. Rhodey. So this was him. Tony had always been complaining about how they rarely saw each other with Rhodey’s work, but they seemed as close as ever. Close enough that Tony had maybe given him a badass suit of armor.

“Oh, yea, Rhodey’s a colonel. Does that mean you have to salute to him?”

The Soldier gave a dry look and Tony, genius that he was, dropped the subject. 

“Do all of your friends have suits?” The Soldier asked. “Iron Man, Rhodes, does Pepper have one, too?”

Tony barked out a laugh, eyes lighting up with a bright humour. 

“As if she would let me. And Happy doesn’t have one. Neither does Brucie, though not for lack of trying.”

The Soldier was too professional to pout, but it was a very close thing. Tony’s attention returned to Rhodes.

“So, platypus, what brings you here? Besides the pleasure of my company, of course.”

“You forgot.”

“What?” Tony’s gaze jumped to the Soldier, who pulled out his phone to look through the schedule. “I totally didn’t forget about…”

The Soldier shrugged, not seeing anything marked for that day. Rhodes shook his head fondly.

“JARVIS?”

“Colonel Rhodes had mentioned the Army Ball a few months ago, said he would be your plus one if you went. It seems you never confirmed and did not place it into your schedule.”

“See,” Tony gave a weak smile. “Totally didn’t forget. I built JARVIS so his memory is my memory.”

The Soldier fought a smile at the scene, switching to business mode. “Should I call for Happy to bring the car?”

“Yes,” Tony said. “I’ll be right back, I just need to go make myself pretty.” 

The Soldier thought Tony already looked pretty, but maybe his judgement wasn’t to be trusted. He looked down at his clothes and figured he was fine in uniform, since he was working anyway. Besides, he didn’t have a suit (and definitely not one that was Stark quality).

He messaged Happy, who would be ready outside within ten minutes, and Rhodes had stepped out of the armor to reveal an immaculate tuxedo. Of course, it wasn’t as nice as the metal suit.

Tony wasn’t ready yet, so the two of them stood there awkwardly in silence. Finally, Rhodes spoke.

“So, normally I give people the ‘Hurt Tony, I hurt you’ speech, but apparently you already gave that to Iron Man, so it might go to waste on you.”

“Just doing my job.”

“Of course. But even though you’re doing well so far, I still have to warn you. Tony is the most important person in my life. He is my family. If anything does happen, if you lie to him, if you’re anything but who you say you are, you’ll have to answer to me.”

The Soldier looked into Rhodes’ eyes and knew that he meant it. He wondered if it counted as lying about your identity if you barely knew who you were. Perhaps, one day, the Soldier would have to explain his past, but until then he would do his job protecting Tony and making him fancy coffee. Surely, Rhodes couldn’t fault him for that.

Finally, Tony arrived. His hair was tamed and his blazer was a rich wine colour. It looked really good on him and the Soldier couldn’t help his look from lingering. He wasn’t sure why everyone kept calling him eye candy when that was clearly Tony’s role.

“Nice suit, Tones,” Rhodes seemed amused, for some reason. Then he realized the colonel was looking at the Soldier as he grinned and had to fight a blush.

“Hey, if I’m going to be your date, I have to make sure I’m the hottest one there.”

“You’re not my date tonight. You’re my friend and maybe, depending on alcohol consumption, my wingman.”

“Got it,” Tony laughed.

“Also, Rhodes said as they headed for the elevator. “Can you please call Fury back. He’s started calling me now because he knows I’m too polite to ignore him.”

“You mean too scared.”

Rhodes glared and the Soldier froze as he recognized the name. Nick Fury, head of SHIELD. Hadn’t he killed him on his last mission? Had he failed then too? And what did he want with Tony? Was it Iron Man business? Was Fury also annoyed with the pilot?

The Soldier stored the questions away to look into when he had a chance. For now he had to be focused on Tony’s security.

The met Happy downstairs and headed to the event. Tony and Rhodes shared stories of their pasts on the way and while they sometimes tried to include him, the Soldier was happy to sit and listen. He had surmised from what he’d seen that Rhodes was Tony’s calming force, but apparently Rhodes had just as many shenanigans. Pepper had told the Soldier to call Rhodes if Tony was drinking peach schnapps, but now he was wondering whether the colonel would stop him or just join in.

When they arrived at the venue, the room was full of tinkling glass and jewellery and brilliant gowns and suits. The officers were in uniform, but the Soldier didn’t stand out as there was a good amount of security. Upon entering, Rhodes was called away by some official looking people, so Tony led the Soldier over to a buffet.

“Don’t tell Rhodey, but I only come to these things because they have the best hors d’oeuvres. Way better than the Fireman’s Ball, hands down.” Tony loaded up a plate with bite sized food. When the Soldier remained at attention, he frowned.

“I know you’re on duty or whatever, but you can have some fun. You have to try this.”

Tony held out a bacon wrapped fig and the Soldier instinctively opened his mouth. Despite his best efforts, his tongue accidentally brushed Tony’s fingers, though he didn’t seem too concerned. The fig was delicious, and the Soldier smiled after swallowing, enjoying the sweet and salty. 

“See?” Tony was grinning in victory and the Soldier nodded before putting a few on his own plate to try. He wondered how they were made. Was it just bacon and figs, or was there something else to balance the flavours?

Tony seemed satisfied with his work and tucked into his own food. The Soldier was enjoying his study (was that goat cheese?), but he remained vigilant and returned to attention when a dark haired woman in a black dress approached them.

“Mr. Stark.”

Tony’s eyebrows went up, but he didn’t seem threatened, so the Soldier assumed this was a friend. Or, at least, not an enemy. If she was a friend, she’d probably have her own metal suit that Tony made her (not that the Soldier was bitter or anything).

“Miss Hill. What brings you here? I thought SHIELD tried to remain separate from military matters.”

Hill shrugged. “I had to do something before joining SHIELD. Besides, we knew you’d be here.”

“Flattered, but I’m not your type.”

She rolled her eyes before her expression turned serious. “Fury has been trying to reach you?”

Tony feigned surprise and if the Soldier hadn’t heard the conversation with Rhodes, he might have believed him.

“He has? Are you sure?”

“Can it, Stark. You better call him back soon or he’ll go ahead with his plans anyway. It’s probably better you’re in the know.”

“Ah, so it includes me, but I have no say in whether he does it or not?”

Hill laughed. “Have you just met him?”

“True, how silly of me. Always a pleasure, Hill.”

The agent narrowed her eyes before shifting her gaze to the Soldier. Even though her expression barely changed, he could tell she was surprised. She looked back at Tony, who shook his head imperceptibly. After that not-quite conversation, she emphasized “Call Fury” and walked away.

The Soldier looked at his boss. “What was that?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, soldier. Business matters.”

“But when she looked at me-”

He was interrupted by Rhodes returning, standing next to Tony and popping some bruschetta into his mouth before talking through the food.

“I talked to the band. They said they refuse to play How to Save a Life until the guests are significantly more drunk, so we’ll have to stay a bit later if you want to dance.”

“I have hors d’oeuvres. I’m content.”

Rhodes smiled. “I’ve heard Stern might be stopping by later, so you probably want to chase those mini hotdogs with something stronger.”

“Shit. Scotch sounds good right now.” Rhodes gave a look. “Or champagne because I don’t need hard liquor to cope,” Tony spoke in a rehearsed tone.

The Soldier put down his empty plate. “I’ll get them for you.” He didn’t think people would poison drinks at such a public event, but better safe than sorry.

Tony smiled. “Thanks, soldier. I’ll guard the figs so you can finish them off,” he winked and the Soldier walked away with a warm feeling in his chest and an even warmer face. He almost missed Rhode’s asking for a beer.

Thankfully, the bar wasn't too crowded and the bartender didn’t seem too suspicious and it wasn’t long before he had a drink in each hand and was ready to return. He turned back around towards the buffet and froze.

There, talking to Tony and Rhodes, was Captain goddamn America.

Chapter Text

The Soldier felt the condensation of the glass seep into his hand as he stared at Captain America. He wasn’t in uniform, but he knew it was him. His jaw was set as he spoke to Tony, who looked uncomfortable. The Soldier should go help him, but also… he didn’t want the Captain to see him. He would definitely be recognized and he wasn’t sure how his boss would handle finding out the Soldier was an ex-Hydra assassin.

He stood there for too long, practically a statue with how still he was. Then, Tony met his gaze over the Captain’s shoulder and his eyes widened. He elbowed Rhodes, who also looked worried. Was the Soldier supposed to join them? Or leave?

His question was answered when Rhodes started talking, placing a hand on the Captain’s shoulder and leading him away, clearly against the man’s wishes.

When the Captain was finally out of sight, the Soldier returned to Tony.

“Who was that?” He asked casually. Tony frowned.

“You didn’t recognize him?”

The Soldier kept his face blank as he passed Tony his drink. “No.”

“Right. I think Rhodey is going to be busy for the rest of the evening, so how about we hide some food in our pockets and head out?”

The Soldier shrugged. “Alright.”

Tony drained his glass and, without Rhodey to claim his drink, Tony took that as well. The Soldier let him, hoping this would be okay since neither of them were peach schnapps.

Back in the limo, it was quiet. Happy had the divider up and Tony’s stare was so piercing the Soldier wouldn’t be surprised if his eyes were registered Stark tech.  

He wanted to ask what was up, but he wasn’t sure if it was his place. He decided to wait and so the silence stretched until they were back at the tower and in the kitchen, Tony taking out containers to store the stolen hors d'oeuvres. 

“So,” Tony started and the Soldier stood at attention. “You really didn’t recognize the guy I was talking to? Never met him?”

The Soldier kept his heartbeat steady, as he was trained to do. “Should I have? Was he a threat?” What if the Soldier made a mistake all that time ago, in saving the Captain’s life? What if he’d hurt Tony?

But Tony shook his head. “The only threat there is me to his sensibilities. That was Steve, or Captain America. He and Iron Man are part of the Avengers. Honestly, they’re kind of famous. It’s surprising you knew about Iron Man and not him.”

The Soldier mentally cursed. “I looked into you and Iron Man when I was hired.”

“Of course,” Tony said. “I’m sure you did. Look, soldier, I’m going to be blunt because I can’t help it. Call it a bad habit.”

The Soldier’s control slipped and his heart began pounding in his chest. Had the Captain said something? Was the Soldier’s cover blown?

Tony took a deep breath. “I like you, a lot. Probably more than I’ve liked any bodyguard I’ve had to have, except Happy because he’s Happy. I trusted you to tell me whenever you were ready because I believed that you were doing this for the right reasons. However, circumstances have changed.”

“What circumstances?”

“Steve was talking to me because, apparently, Fury was trying to reach me for a reason. He wants the Avengers living together; to have them bond more as a team and to have them readily available when needed.”

The Soldier frowned, not understanding what this had to do with him. “So, Iron Man is leaving?”

Tony laughed dryly. “No, sorry to burst that bubble. Turns out the best place for them all to live is here. Burden of being a billionaire, I guess. You have the biggest house and everyone wants in.”

Stomach dropping out, the Soldier clutched the counter for support. “Here? All of them?”

Tony nodded.

The Soldier struggled to retain composure. “That might make protecting you more difficult.”

“Maybe. It also makes protecting you more difficult.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Look, soldier, if Captain America lives here you two are bound to run into each other at some point. And something tells me you’re not a fan of that. So, if you want, I’m giving you the chance to resign and be gone before they all show up.”

The Soldier’s mouth was dry. “Why would you think that?”

Tony smiled softly. “Because I know your name isn’t Jefferson.”

“How-”

“Genius,” Tony reminded him. “We do look into the people we hire, you know. We always knew Jefferson was a fake name, but I’d met you, I’d talked to you. I couldn’t deny you a fresh start if that’s what you truly wanted.”

The Soldier felt strange. His eyes were oddly hot and prickly and he wasn’t sure why.

“And… do you think you know my real name?”

“I didn’t,” Tony admitted. “But when you were going to become my live-in bodyguard, I figured I should do more research. Of course, you would know that didn’t yield much. Then I managed to get a better look at you, up close. I recognized you, from my dad’s old photos. That helped and I managed to hack into Hydra’s files.”

“You-” The Soldier sat on the bar stool, legs failing him.

“Look, Bucky-”

“No!” His grip tightened, the counter cracking as webs spread across the stone.

Tony flinched back and the Soldier felt guilty, but even more scared. 

“Don’t call me that. That’s not my name, not anymore.”

He felt a hand hovering over his shoulder, not quite touching. Like it was asking for permission. The Soldier relaxed slightly and the hand landed, Tony’s thumb beginning to rub soothing circles.

“Okay. That’s okay. Look, I know you’ve been through a lot and I can’t imagine how difficult this must be. Honestly, I would be fine if you wanted to be Jefferson forever, but you have the right to choose if you want to stay or not.”

“I don’t want to be Jefferson.”

Tony was so close to him, he could smell cologne and the remains of whiskey. He wanted to lean into it, but he was also frozen in his seat.

“Okay. Who do you want to be, then?”

“I’m a soldier,” he stated. “I just want to be your soldier.”

The prickly feeling returned to his eyes and he felt wetness on his cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever cried before. Maybe Bucky Barnes had, once. Tony’s hand remained on his shoulder.

“That’s fine. You can still be my soldier, if that’s what you want. You can stay. So long as you choose.”

The Soldier stared into the marble counter, eyes following the swirls of colour and where they were broken up by the cracks that had formed.

“I’m not good at choosing.”

“You’re just out of practice.”

The Soldier lifted his gaze to meet Tony’s and felt a smile spread across his face, something small and more delicate than he ever thought he’d be capable of.

“Thank you.”

Tony’s face turned red as he shrugged. “I’m not doing anything. You’re the one who gets to decide.”

“Thank you,” he repeated, more firmly, and Tony looked so put out by the gratitude the Soldier couldn’t help leaning in, wrapping his arms around him and holding tight.

Tony was still for a few seconds, but then he returned the hug, tucking his head into the Soldier’s neck.

The Soldier had never been hugged before. Now he never wanted to stop.

Chapter Text

Everyone loved to talk about Tony Stark.

Whether they had met him or not, people loved to speculate about the life of the billionaire and while the theories had many differences, the one thing everyone could agree on was that Tony Stark was a bad person. He was selfish. He was egotistical. He was dangerous.

Tony had heard these things all his life and had reached the point where he sometimes believed them to be true. He wasn’t proud of how much the rumours could get to him, but there were the occasional days where he could rise above them and truly believe that they were wrong about him.

The day the Avengers moved into his tower was one of those days. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want them to be around. The Avengers were his team and he should be more comfortable around them. Besides, he loved Bruce and he was amused by Clint and Thor was completely badass.

It was just that he also… well, didn’t want them around. Things between him and Steve were still a bit shaky after their first meeting and he wasn’t entirely sure Natasha wouldn’t try to kill him in his sleep.

There was also the pesky matter of Tony’s secrets and he had a feeling the arrival of spies and superheroes into his home would be detrimental to that. He didn’t need people knowing that he slept with a hammer (especially Thor) or that sometimes at 2am he would make the toaster play show tunes.

There was also the whole “secretly being Iron Man” and “the Winter Soldier is his bodygaurd” stuff, but mainly the toaster thing.

But here he was: Tony Stark, being selfless, allowing the Avengers to move in because the thought of them on their own filled him with guilt. It wasn’t his fault they became the only family they each had, however dysfunctional and hostile a family it was.

Tony couldn’t deprive them all of a place to call home. He could handle his identity. After all, the Soldier had been living there for a while and nothing had happened. 

More important than his identity was the Soldier’s and how much to tell the others.

“I get you not wanting to greet the Captain at the door,” Tony told him before moving day. They were in the kitchen, Tony enjoying yet another fancy drink from the Soldier’s extensive, caffeinated repertoire.

“But we have to figure something out. You have the floor below mine, so there’s little chance of you running into any of them. Though, if you still plan on following me around everywhere, they might start to notice.”

“Of course I’m following you,” the Soldier said as though it were obvious. Which, no it wasn’t. At least, to Tony.

“Look, soldier, much as I love having you around, I know who you are. You don’t need to keep up your cover if you don’t want to.”

The Soldier frowned and it was almost adorable how confused he was. Almost, because Tony would never have such a thought about the Winter Soldier. That would be ridiculous.

“This isn’t a cover. It’s my job.”

“But-”

“You’re paying me,” he interrupted. “And if you’re paying me, there should be services provided. Are you saying you want to stop paying me?”

Tony shook his head and took another sugary sip of his drink. It helped calm him down, despite its contents.

“Okay, but how do you plan on following me around if you can’t be seen?”

“I was an assassin,” the Soldier stated. “I can make sure I’m not seen.”

Tony raised his eyebrows before pulling up an article on his tablet and sliding it over. The Soldier read it, his face turning from (almost) adorable to near murder (yet, also almost adorable).

“They think I’m Iron Man?”

Tony shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

“You’re my bodyguard, you’re not Happy. People want to look into you. They only have that picture so far, but the conspiracies are growing.”

The picture with the article was of Tony being escorted from a party. All that could be seen of Bucky, who had been on his other side, was his arm at Tony’s back and a bit of brown hair. Tony knew the Soldier was wary of being photographed, so it was a pretty close call. 

“I’m not Iron Man,” the Soldier bit out and Tony almost wanted to laugh at how grumpy he looked.

“Of course not. Though, he might be hurt if he finds out how much the possibility offends you.”

The Soldier only crossed his arms.

“If I were Iron Man you would be hurt much less.”

“I am never hurt,” Tony managed to say with a straight face. When the Soldier gave him a lok, though, he had to crack a smile.

“So, maybe a little. That’s not Iron Man’s fault, though.”

The Soldier snorted. “Well it’s not the suit’s fault. That’s perfect.”

Tony felt a warmth in his chest, even though he was technically being insulted at the same time.

“Well, I’ll be sure to pass along your concerns.”

The Soldier was still grumpy, but they had both agreed to allow the Avengers to move in. And the next day, there were many new occupants to the tower.

Tony managed. He stopped by as both himself and Iron Man, trying to make it seem like both lived there. The Soldier had yet to be spotted by the others, though Tony found a mug of some coffee concoction outside his workshop every morning. The Winter Soldier could easily have a lucrative career as a barista, if he ever got bored of guarding eccentric billionaires.

As smoothly as things seemed to be going, Tony was starting to miss the Soldier. Sure, he knew he was still around, but he rarely actually saw him anymore. 

He knew he should focus on the other Avengers and the whole ‘bonding’ thing, but Tony Stark had no reason for that and Iron Man would be better off as distant, lest they make any connections they shouldn’t.

The first week of living together saw no change in their relationships, at least from what Tony knew. He was also wondering if it would ever be like it was when it was just him and the Soldier when he walked into the communal kitchen to find the object of his thoughts there, wrapping figs with bacon.

Tony, wrapped in a blanket and possibly hallucinating after a working binge, blinked in surprise.

“Hey, soldier. Long time no see. I am seeing you, right?”

Tony held out a finger and poked the Soldier’s arm. He got a grunt in response.

“Why are you here? Someone could see you?”

 The Soldier rolled his eyes. “No one’s going to-”

He was cut off by footsteps approaching. Moving quickly, he shoved the food he was working on into the oven (thankfully off) and then the two stared at each other in panic before Tony, genius that he was, took his blanket and threw it over the Soldier.

The Soldier probably had complaints, but he didn’t lodge them as Bruce and Clint entered the kitchen. They looked at Tony. Then the blanket-covered Soldier. Then back at Tony.

“Who is that?” Clint ventured.

Tony thought quickly. Because he’s a genius.

“It’s Rhodey.”

“Why is Rhodey under a blanket?”

Tony brought a finger to his lips and hushed them. “We’re playing hide and seek. I’m trying to let him win, poor guy.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Again?”

Tony crossed his arms in defiance. Hide and seek was an awesome game and the others just couldn’t appreciate it.

Bruce just laughed and Tony thought he’d gotten away with it, but Clint frowned.

“Isn’t Rhodes back on base? You were just crying about it yesterday.”

“First of all,” Tony corrected. “I did not cry. I just stared out the window wondering when my husband would return from war.”

“He’s not your husband,” Bruce said and Tony ignored him.

“Secondly,” Tony wished he were actually a genius and not just a dumbass. “Fine, I lied. This isn’t Rhodey. This Iron Man, so if you’d all be so kind as to respect his privacy.”

He made a shooing motion with his hand and they actually listened, seeming surprised that Iron Man was about the tower without his armor. 

When they were gone, the Soldier pulled off the blanket and glared.

“I’m not Iron Man.”

Tony shrugged and took the hidden figs and bacon out of the oven, wondering if they would taste like the ones at that party.

“I know, soldier, but they don’t need to know that.”

The Soldier angrily continued his work. Tony had never seen someone stick a fig with a toothpick so violently before.

“Hey,” Tony said defensively. “I thought you were a master assassin and could stay out of sight.”

The Soldier’s anger left, replaced with guilt and- was he blushing?

“I wanted to make you lunch.”

Tony had to smile, bright and wide. When the Soldier blushed further, Tony leaned his head on his shoulder comfortingly.

“You’re too sweet. You know you don’t have to do that.

“But I want to,” the Soldier said.

“I missed you.” The words left Tony’s mouth without permission, but he couldn’t take them back. He heard the Soldier’s breath hitch.

“I haven’t left.”

“You haven’t been around, either,” Tony said. Guess he was committing to being all sappy, then. “I couldn’t see you.”

He lifted his head to look at the Soldier and was satisfied by the faint smile on his face.

“Really? That made you miss me?”

Tony gave a small shrug and the Soldier tilted his head in thought.

“Maybe I could be around more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been thinking,” the Soldier was nervous, so Tony placed a hand on his, halting his shaky efforts at arranging the figs on a tray. He gave a gentle squeeze and the Soldier went on.

“Maybe hiding isn’t the right answer. Maybe it’s time… we tell the others.”

Tony’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Despite his nerves, the Soldier’s voice was firm. “I want them to know.”

Chapter Text

Whatever the public said about Tony, they loved Iron Man. 

With good reason, of course, as the Avengers had just fought off a bunch of Doombots and Iron Man, hero that he was, managed to hold up a building long enough for citizens to get out of the way. Sure, the wall immediately collapsed on top of him after, but that’s why he had armor. He was fine.

At least, that’s what he told Captain America when he ran over to check on him.

“Relax, Cap, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” He seemed like he wanted to check him over, but was only restraining himself because he couldn’t do much with the armor in the way.

“Very sure. Now come on, we have a pirate do debrief.”

That got a smile from Cap and Tony let out a breath of relief that turned into a choked gasp. Not because he was in pain, though. His ribs were just fine.

“Alright, but go check with Tony when you get back. Or you could use a SHIELD medic…”

Tony was glad his mask hid how uncomfortable he was under Cap’s pointed look. He knew how much the Avengers wanted to know Iron Man’s identity and he also knew how much stress it was to keep the secret, but he also knew that it was all for the best. The Avengers needed Iron Man, not Tony Stark.

“I’ll be fine. Tell you what, I’ll go straight to Tony and you can debrief without me.”

Cap rolled his eyes, exasperated, but gave him leave. Tony flew off and into his workshop. He barely made it out of his armor before collapsing into a chair.

“Dum-E,” Tony said and was thankful when JARVIS sent the rest of the instructions to the bot. When he was brought the first aid kit (with minimal crashing), he got to work.

“Sir, might I suggest someone with a bit more medical expertise?”

“I am a doctor, JARVIS, don’t be rude.”

“Yes, but I doubt a doctorate in physics or engineering would be of much use here.”

“Please.” Tony winced as he taped up his abdomen. “I’m basically a robot. Check the news.”

JARVIS wasn’t able to roll his eyes, but Tony knew he was managing it anyway.

“Your soldier is requesting entry.”

Tony glared at one of JARVIS’ cameras at the phrasing, even as his cheeks heated up. 

“Let him in, then,” Tony said as he stiffly put his shirt back on, covering up the light of the arc reactor.

The doors slid open and the Soldier walked in purposefully. Tony made sure the Iron Man suit was safely stowed away.

“Hey, soldier boy, how’s it going?”

He was carrying a plate, which he set down on what empty space he could find on the tables. He seemed angry, though Tony wasn’t entirely sure that wasn’t just his resting face.

“You haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

“Haven’t I?”

The Soldier was unimpressed and crossed his arms, giving the food he brought a pointed look.

“Sorry, sorry. Um, thank you. For bringing it.”

The Soldier nodded and Tony took the sandwich, trying to look like he wasn’t in pain. The sandwich was delicious, which helped.

“So, besides being a mother hen, I suppose you want to discuss telling the team?”

The Soldier nodded.

“Well, first we have to decide. Serious or funny? Because just imagine if you pop out of a cupboard or… something…” He trailed off at the Soldier’s expression. Serious reveal it was.

“Right. They should all be back after their mission, so they’ll all be in a group and we can talk to them at once. I can go up first, if you want.”

“What will you tell them?”

Tony took another bite to give himself time to think.

“The truth, mostly. You’re my new bodyguard. I hired you a few months ago. You saved my life and got a promotion.”

“And?”

“It just so happens you’re a brainwashed ex-Hydra agent?”

The Soldier nodded, not seeming offended, so Tony went on.

“I’ll explain that I didn’t know at first, which is sorta true. And I’ll make sure they don’t freak you out. They can be a bit much, but they mean well.”

“Can we talk to them without Steve? Tell him later?”

Tony smiled and put down his food so he could put a hand on the Soldier’s arm.

“Whatever you want, soldier. This is your choice.”

He seemed scared, so Tony stood closer to him, holding him in a kind of half hug. 

“I don’t know if I can meet them all. Yet.”

“Then you don’t have to. I can tell them about you, so they know, and you can introduce yourself when you want to.”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Tony tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“With everything. You’re just so amazing.”

“Oh, um,” Tony made to move away, but was pulled into a firmer hug.

“Thank you so much,” the Soldier whispered into Tony’s neck. He hugged back, not really understanding what he did that was so great, but never one to refuse a comfy hug.

Telling the Avengers that he’d been harbouring the Winter Soldier for however long went better than expected. Natasha was relieved, as she’d been sensing someone lurking around the tower and was preparing to murder them the next chance she got. Tony was thankful he’d talked to her in time because he had no desire for a dead soldier.

Bruce was also not too bad. Tony told him while they were working in the lab and was silent the whole time. After, Bruce looked at Tony and said,

“Should I even be surprised?”

“I mean, shouldn’t you?”

“If Steve lived, why not Bucky, too?”

“I guess. Also, don’t call him Bucky. He doesn’t like that.”

Bruce nodded before asking Tony to pass him the soldering iron. Guess having a green rage monster inside you made a guy less judgemental.

Thor was also easy to tell, given that he knew nothing about the Winter Soldier. He did ask if the Soldier could join them for basketball, since they finally had an even number (Iron Man wasn’t allowed, due to the armor advantage).

Natasha said she’d speak to Clint, so all that was left was Steve. He’d finally gotten the go ahead from the Soldier, so Tony went into the kitchen one morning, catching Steve after his run.

“Oh, Mr. Stark. Good morning.”

Tony didn’t bother correcting him, figuring that Steve’s formality was low on immediate concerns.

“Hey, Captain. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Is Iron Man okay? I told him to go to you right after the battle, but-”

“He’s fine.” Tony fought a smile at Steve’s concern, flattered that Iron Man’s teammates cared about him. 

“It’s actually about that whole thing in DC. With the Winter Soldier.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Bucky? What about him? Have they found him?”

Tony coughed. “Okay, I have no idea how to say this so I’m just gonna jump in. The Winter Soldier is here, in the tower, working as my bodyguard.”

Steve’s face lit up before furrowing in confusion. Tony was going to let him process, but kept talking instead.

“He called me about a job. I just thought he was a veteran, I didn’t realize he meant veteran of World War II. I hired him, I recognized him, yea, turns out he’s your long lost bestie turned Hydra assassin.”

“That wasn’t his fault, he-”

“I know,” Tony cut him off. “He’s been here for a while and I’ve gotten to know him.”

Steve was pale as he stared at the counter. “He’s here.”

“Yep. And he’s a great chef.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wasn’t my decision. He wasn’t ready.”

“Ready? It’s been over seventy years!”

“Exactly,” Tony said. “And he’s been, well, he hasn’t been frozen for that time, let’s leave it at that.”

Steve nodded shakily. “Of course. I know, I just- God, Bucky.”

“Oh,” Tony said quickly. “About that. Don’t call him Bucky. He’s having a bit of an identity crisis.”

“Okay. When can I see him?”

“Right now.”

They both turned to see the Soldier in the doorway. He looked at Tony, who gave a supportive nod, before walking towards his old friend.

“Hi, Steve.”

Tony and the Soldier waited for Steve to speak. In the end, he couldn’t say anything and instead pulled the Soldier into a tight hug.

Chapter Text

The Soldier was not avoiding Captain America.

For one, he was a trained assassin and he could easily take the Captain in a fight. For another, it hardly counted as avoiding when the Soldier had said that he’d be avoiding him. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like the Captain. He seemed like a good soldier and he always closed the cupboard doors when Clint left them open, which was greatly appreciated.

The problem was that he didn’t know the Captain. At least, not the way he was expected to. The Captain asked a lot of questions that the Soldier couldn’t answer and soon they both realized they needed time before getting any closer.

Captain aside, though, the Soldier felt like he was making progress. For one, he found an old handgun in Stark’s workshop that didn’t seem to be in use and nobody had noticed it missing yet, so surely it was fine that he took it. His collection was stored in his room now, in his spacious closet so no one could find it.

Sure, he was proud of his collection, but the fact that the handgun had no logo (being an abandoned project) and he’d painted one on rather crudely just on principle was a little embarrassing. 

Besides his collection, the Soldier figured he should actually speak to the Avengers, considering the Captain was off the table and he tried to avoid Iron Man whenever possible.

Clint was fun though. Besides his ineptitude with cupboards, he was too thick-headed to be afraid of the Soldier. He was like Tony in that regard, but whereas Tony was just a sweet and compassionate guy, Clint was an idiot.

And the Soldier was really confused by it, because Clint could also be a genius. He wasn’t sure whether he was pretending and, if he was, whether he was pretending to be smart or dumb.

“I promise, next time it will work.”

The Soldier stared at Clint, who was standing in front of the counter, blender uncovered and him splattered with bits of yogurt and frozen banana.

“I think the lid is included for a reason.”

Clint shrugged. “Rules are lame. Besides, it’s Avengers practice. One day I’ll be able to blend it without it exploding.”

“And how does that help the Avengers?”

Clint frowned in thought. “I mean, it’s not not useful.”

Smart or dumb, no one could say Clint wasn’t determined. The Soldier rolled his eyes and went to grab paper towels. Clint moved in with his fingers, eating up most of the mess.

“So… I’m guessing by your lack of fear from that explosion we don’t have to walk on eggshells around you, right?”

The Soldier raised an eyebrow. “You walked on eggshells around me?” That came as a shock, considering last week Clint had asked him for his metal arm so he could give Natasha a ‘hand’.

“Yes,” Clint deadpanned. “This is me on eggshells. I could be much worse.”

“Why are you on eggshells?”

“Because you were all brainwashed and stuff. I had that with Loki, even if it was more lowkey compared to all your stuff. If you must know, this blender wasn’t a mistake. It was a test.”

“Of course,” the Soldier rolled his eyes. “You do know that I was trained as an assassin. Explosions shouldn’t scare me or I’d be really bad at my job.”

Clint opened his mouth, then closed it. 

“But sure,” the Soldier went on. “You can all stop walking on eggshells.”

“Awesome,” Clint smiled widely, even brighter with strawberry bits dripping from his eyebrows. “I suppose I should’ve realised. I mean, you’ve spent all this time with Stark and he’s terrible with people. Worse than me, if you’d believe it.”

That didn’t sound right. “He is?”

Clint nodded. “You should see him with Bruce. I mean, the guy is one burnt finger away from going big and green on us and Stark doesn’t care. He thinks it’s funny, poking him in the lab whenever their working.”

The Soldier felt a wave of protectiveness surge up. He was still Tony’s bodyguard, after all.

“Maybe Bruce thinks it’s nice to not be treated with kid gloves for once.”

“Fair,” Clint acknowledged. “I suppose Stark is Bruce’s favourite, though he won’t admit it.”

“Is Bruce Tony’s favourite?”

“Maybe? I think Iron Man’s his real favourite, but I doubt he counts because he’s known Stark way longer.”

“Right.” The Soldier felt a weird, disappointed feeling. It wasn’t that he thought he was Tony’s favourite, but he had hoped it might not be Iron Man.

“Oh, are you in the pool yet?”

“Yea, I saw the pool when I moved in.”

Clint laughed, but it didn’t feel mocking so much as genuinely amused. The Soldier cracked a smile, too.

“I meant the betting pool. We all have guesses as to who Iron Man is.”

The smile fell and the Soldier immediately crossed his arms in annoyance. He tried to avoid thinking about Iron Man in general, let alone whoever was underneath the mask.

“Isn’t that against his wishes?”

Clint shrugged. “We’re not actively trying to find out, but you have to admit you’re a bit curious. And considering our day jobs, we may end up finding out one day, so why not make some money out of it?”

“What are the guesses?”

“Well, Steve thinks it’s Rhodes-”

“Rhodes has his own suit.”

“True, but one could be for less government approved activities.” Clint waggled his eyebrows and the Soldier thought it over. He didn’t think it was Rhodes. Iron Man wasn’t protective enough for that.

“I’m convinced it’s Happy and so does Thor. Bruce and Nat think it’s Pepper which, while badass, I don’t think is true because Pepper is way too busy running the company.”

“Right.”

“Coulson and Fury refuse to join, apparently it’s unprofessional or something. Honestly, I think they know who he is. They’re SHIELD, they have to.”

“Aren’t you SHIELD, too?”

Clint nodded. “Yea, but different level. I’m in fieldwork, not intelligence.”

The Soldier put the abused blender in the sink and started to soak it. 

“Clearly.”

“So, you going to join?”

The Soldier took the brush and started scrubbing. Clint finally worked on the counters, with a cloth instead of his hands.

“I don’t know. I don’t think Tony would be happy about this.”

“Aw, I know you work for him, but you don’t have to always listen to him.”

“I suppose.”

Clint walked over to the sink to rinse out the cloth, nudging the Soldier aside.

“You’re protectiveness is honestly adorable. I’m mad that you guys kept it such a secret all this time, but the fact that you two are all buddies is great. Stark needs more buddies. At least, that’s what Nat says.”

“I’m just his bodyguard.” The Soldier wondered if strawberry had gotten on his cheeks as well because they felt decidedly pink.

“How did you even meet him, anyway? He never said.”

If Tony hadn’t said, maybe he didn’t want the others to know. 

“It was years ago. Not sure.” It wasn’t really a lie, considering the Soldier had known Tony since he was asked to kill him. Longer, even, as he’d known him through his weapons.

“Years? I thought you were only living here a few months?”

“Oh,” the Soldier fumbled. “Um, technically. I moved in when I became his full time guard. I’ve worked here longer and I knew him before I got the job.”

“Really…”

Clint had a thoughtful look on his face and even though the Soldier hadn’t known him long, he knew enough to know that it was dangerous.

Chapter Text

As much as the Soldier loved being Tony’s bodyguard, he had to admit that the galas were starting to get a little tedious. Sure, Tony in a suit was never a bad thing, but he had to wear a suit, too, and Tony was often pulled away upon arrival to talk with other people.

It wasn’t that he wanted something to happen, but he wasn’t entirely disappointed when the current gala they were at was disrupted by the ground shaking. An attack was bad, very bad, but the Soldier leaped into action, grabbing Tony’s hand and dragging him out of the hall.

“Wait, wait!”

The Soldier ignored him, not stopping until they reached the coat check. The guy manning it was gone, so he could put Tony inside and lock the door.

“I am very against this,” Tony continued complaining.

“Stay here,” the Soldier said. “I’ll be right back.”

Tony rolled his eyes at his prison and the Soldier went to scout the situation out. Most people were running off, seeking shelter from the mysterious threat. The Soldier ignored the crowd and headed for the roof instead.

The building wasn’t the tallest in New York City, but it gave him a view of where the battle was. Doombots, it looked like, which the Soldier knew was more Richards’ area, but the Avengers were showing up too. He could just make out the green blur of the Hulk, as well as Thor and Iron Man flying above. Hopefully the fighting would be contained to the Baxter building and the Soldier could get Tony to the tower safely. This would be fine.

He went back downstairs, the building emptied of guests. As he rounded the corner to the coat check, though, he felt his stomach drop when that was empty, too.

“Tony?” 

He opened the door and cursed when he saw the broken lock. Maybe somebody attacked Tony, but the annoyingly realistic option was that Tony ran away. The Soldier had been praised by Happy and Pepper for not losing Tony as much as previous guards, but apparently this time, being eye candy was not enough. 

Part of him wanted to ruthlessly tear through the coats in the hopes that Tony was hiding there, but the Soldier knew that would be fruitless.He needed to stay calm and think.

Where would Tony go? Why would he run away?

Whenever the Soldier needed Tony, he was usually in his workshop, so he should go there first. Maybe Tony got bored of waiting in the closet and went to the Tower on his own, it seemed like just the aggravating sort of thing he would do. 

The Tower was empty, with everyone off fighting, and the Soldier swallowed nervously before speaking.

“JARVIS? Is Tony in his workshop?”

There was a pause.

“Afraid not, sir.”

The Soldier tried to breathe, but it was starting to get very difficult.

“Where is he?”

There was a longer pause, long enough that the Soldier wished JARVIS had a body so he could shake him.

“I am unable to answer that at this time.”

The Soldier felt like he was going to cry. JARVIS knew everything. JARVIS knew Tony better than he knew himself, if he didn’t know where Tony was then that could only mean the worst. The Soldier had failed. He had promised to protect Tony and he had screwed it up. He shouldn’t be Tony’s guard. Or his soldier. 

“Sir has been located.”

The robotic voice was like cold water after weeks in the desert. The Soldier was about to ask for more information when the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival.

Thor got off first, followed by Bruce. The Soldier was ready to push them all aside, but then Tony walked out, his suit barely even rumpled.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Tony didn’t get a chance to answer, as he was pulled forward to be pat down by the Soldier. Thor spoke for him.

“We ran into him downstairs. He was on his way back from the event, which apparently ended with the attack.”

“See, I’m fine,” Tony insisted, trying to push away the Soldier’s hands. “Not that I’m not enjoying this, of course.”

The Soldier was too mad to blush, but he did step back. He knew the others were staring at them, but frankly he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Why did you leave? And where’s Iron Man?”

Clint smiled, seemingly unperturbed by the Soldier’s heart attack.

“He disappeared once the fight ended. Never sticks around long, that one.”

“So you crossed the city alone, during a battle?”

Tony shrugged. “I had to go to the bathroom. You still weren’t there when I got back, so figured I’d head back to the Tower and meet you there.”

“Stark’s bladder is known to be infinitely small,” Thor cut in. It was not helpful.

“I don’t care what you figured!” The Soldier’s voice was louder than it had ever been, never having needed to yell while an assassin. He could sense the others taking that as their cue to leave and soon it was just him and Tony, who was starting to look a little bit nervous.

“I am your bodyguard! I am responsible for your safety and you running around the city with nothing but gold cufflinks to defend yourself is not helping in any way! You could’ve been hurt or killed or-”

“But I wasn’t!”
“That’s not the point!”

Tony shrunk back and the Soldier felt a hint of guilt creep up, softening the rage.

“I know you’re stubborn,” he said, softer. “But you can’t do things like that. You aren’t a superhero.”

Tony gave a dry laugh, the noise sharp and almost painful. “I’m pretty sure the Merchant of Death can handle walking a few blocks on his own.”

“Well, you aren’t exactly the Merchant of Death anymore, are you? Do you even carry a weapon? Or are you that desperate to get hurt?”

Tony didn’t answer. He just walked away and the Soldier let him.

The Soldier decided they both needed time to cool off, so he settled in the living room to flip through channels mindlessly. He had never had a chance to watch TV before, that he could remember. Normally he was fascinated, but this time he couldn’t bring himself to focus and was almost grateful when someone joined him.

“So, apparently you met Tony before any of us.”

The Soldier looked at Bruce. They hadn’t talked much, seeing as he was almost as much of a recluse as Tony was. He knew that him and Tony were friends, but that didn’t mean the Soldier was too.

“Clint talks too much.”

“Yeah, he does. But it explains why you’re so protective of him. You’re reaching Rhodes and Pepper levels, honestly. I don’t know whether to be scared or impressed.”

The Soldier almost cracked a smile. Despite not being close to Bruce, he couldn’t deny he was a nice guy.

“Tony is such a genius.” The Soldier said. “The smartest guy I’ve ever met.”

“Makes it all the more annoying when he’s an idiot, huh?” 

This time the Soldier did smile. “For a while I didn’t think he was capable of doing anything stupid.”

Bruce laughed. “Sorry, sorry. I bet he fixed that real quick.”

The Soldier nodded. He was constantly impressed by Tony, but Tony the Inventor and Tony the Person were turning out to be incredibly different.

“Can I ask you something?”

Bruce gestured for him to go on.

“Why did he stop making weapons?”

He didn’t expect a simple answer, and he was proved right when Bruce started squirming uncomfortably.

“Okay, this is kinda personal and it should really be him telling you about it, but I can give you the basics.”

The Soldier nodded and Bruce sighed.

“You know about Afghanistan, I take it?”

“Yes,” he shivered at the memory.

“Well, the guys who took him were using Stark weapons. Turns out his old partner, Stane, was double-dealing and after all of that, Tony didn’t want to make things that hurt people anymore.”

I saw what they could do, the Soldier remembered Tony saying. He’d always thought of the weapons as beautiful, the technology intricate and inticing. He hadn’t considered what the weapons were used for.

The Soldier only used Stark weapons. How many people had he hurt with them? Did they all weigh on Tony’s conscience? Should they be weighing on the Soldier’s? Killing had always been his job, but now that he had a choice, would he make the same ones?

He suddenly felt sick and started at the hand on his shoulder.

“Tony’s been through a lot, we both know it. I know he can drive you crazy, but it’s who he is.”

The Soldier nodded absently, his thoughts still swirling. He liked Bruce, but he didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He wanted Tony. He wasn’t even mad at him anymore. He just wanted to be in those arms again and be told everything was okay. If Tony said it was, then it had to be.

The Soldier got up and went downstairs,now sure that Tony was in his workshop. He typed in his code quickly, eager to be inside, but the keypad beeped and denied him entry.

“JARVIS?” The Soldier ignored how his voice shook.

“I’m sorry, but Sir has revoked your code.”

“What? Why?”

“I am not at liberty to say.”

The Soldier swallowed as his eyes stung with tears. “Is he okay?”

“He is fine, but he wishes to be left alone. I’m sorry,” JARVIS repeated. He almost sounded like he meant it.

The Soldier walked away, losing the fight as he began to cry.

Chapter Text

It had been a week since the Doombots attack, and the Soldier had the distinct feeling he was being avoided. This feeling was largely supported by the fact that he’d seen Tony once during that time, and the man had turned and left as soon as he saw the Soldier.

The Soldier knew he was a hypocrite, considering he’d been avoiding Rogers for ages, but it still hurt. Also, he never got the hug he’d gone to Tony for and it had put him in a bad mood. The Soldier knew they had both been angry, but he’d left food and coffee outside Tony’s workshop every day in the hopes of making up. The dishes had disappeared, so he’d been hoping it was working.

After so long without Tony, the Soldier was frozen in shock when he was in the kitchen and the genius entered. He was even more shocked by what was in Tony’s hands.

“What is that?”

Tony was caught off guard by the question, distracting him from running away. He looked at the cup in his hands.

“Coffee?”

The Soldier narrowed his eyes. “Where is it from?”

“Starbucks, I think?” Tony shrugged. “Rhodey brought it when he came by.”

His voice was cold and the Soldier logically knew he should back off. Instead, he moved forward and took the cup out of Tony’s hands.

“I’m still your bodyguard and I should check any drinks that come from outside.”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony narrowed his eyes. The Soldier didn’t care and Tony threw his hands up in frustration.

“Fine. Take a sip. I’m totally fine with you getting your cooties all over it.”

The Soldier didn’t know what cooties were, but he had no intention of taking a sip. Instead, his grip tightened and crushed the paper cup, spilling coffee everywhere. Tony jumped back with a yelp.

“What the hell, man?”

“Oops,” the Soldier stated. “Keep forgetting my own strength. I’ll make you a new one.”

Tony glared and crossed his arms. “No, you’ll clean this mess up. I have energy drinks in my shop.”

He turned to leave and the Soldier mentally cursed.

“Wait,” he called out. Tony paused. “I’m sorry.”

Tony looked back, eyes heavy. “I know.”

“Can we-” The Soldier swallowed the lump in his throat. “Maybe I can come down later? Help you in the workshop?”

Tony shifted slightly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“You’re still getting better. A lab might bring up memories.”

There was something Tony wasn’t saying, but the Soldier knew that pestering wouldn’t help.

“Oh.”

Tony turned back around. “Bye.”

He left the Soldier standing there, coffee dripping from his hand.

The Soldier had been avoiding Steve Rogers for a while now, but seeing Tony made him realize how much that must be hurting him. Sure, it was different in that he didn’t remember much about Rogers, but the Soldier could make an effort.

The Captain was in the gym, which wasn’t much of a surprise. When he saw the soldier, he immediately stopped punching the bag.

“Sorry, did you want the room?”

The Soldier shook his head.

“Are you looking for Tony? Or Clint?”

The Soldier shook his head again. Words were never his strong suit and they weren’t as easy with Rogers as they were with Tony or Clint.

The Soldier took a deep breath. “Could you tell me about him? Me?”

Rogers’ eyes widened, but he gestured to the bench and they both sat down.

“You were a dumbass. I mean, so was I and you were my voice of reason on many occasions, but most trouble we got into together.”

“So not that much has changed,” the Soldier joked. Rogers smiled softly.

“No. Honestly, you’re so much like… him. Quieter, sadder, but your heart. I can tell.”

The Soldier was quiet for a moment before finding the right words.

“I did a lot of things. More than I know, with how often they wiped my brain, but what I remember is bad enough. Do you still want to be friends with someone like that?”

“Bu-” Steve cut himself off. “I’ll always be your friend. I know that you’ve been through hell, but you can’t hold yourself responsible for what Hydra forced you to do. That’s on them, not you.”

“But it was still me pulling the trigger.”

Rogers pursed his lips, clearly wanting to argue, but he managed to hold back.

“Whatever the case, you can’t change the past. You have a choice now, so you have to make sure you make the right ones.”

“And you trust I’ll know what those are?”

Rogers laughed. “I do. You’ve changed in many ways, but that’s not one of them.”

The Soldier nodded absently, wondering if it was true.

“So, is there anything else you wanna talk about?”

He looked at Rogers, confused. The Captain laughed.

“I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be talking to me unless your first choice was available.”

The Soldier would have argued, but it wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Is Stark still avoiding you?”

“I didn’t think he’d be this mad,” the Soldier said bitterly. “Sorry for caring about what happens to him!”
Rogers laughed. “He’ll get over it. I’ve been angrier than you for all the mother henning you did back in the day.”

“Is there anything I did that helped?”

“Not really,” Rogers said. “Usually I just needed time to realize you just wanted what’s best for me.”

“You think that’s what Tony will do?”

“I don’t know Stark that well,” Rogers admitted. “But a blind man could see he cares about you. I doubt he’ll let you go that easily.”

The Soldier felt his face flush and looked away. “Seems pretty easy from where I’m standing.”

“When I joined the Avengers, everyone warned me about Stark. How he parties and flaunts his exploits and is pretty terrible with people. But despite that, he’s still a good person. Maybe you two can help each other. Hell, it seems like you already have.”

“You think I’m helping him?”

Rogers shrugged. “Well, there’s been no news of his latest one night stand, so there’s definitely some sort of progress.”

The Soldier fought a smile at that. He was just happy Tony was safe. “It’s probably because I’m his eye candy.”

Rogers coughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s what he said when he hired me.” The Soldier’s eyes widened. “But don’t tell people that because HR would get mad, apparently.”

“Oh my gosh,” Rogers shook his head. “They warned me about him being bi, but I didn’t think I’d have to worry about him flirting with my best friend.”

The Soldier blushed and, thankfully, Rogers changed the subject.

“So, this great diner is still around from the forties. Since you might not remember, that means you can try their food for the first time again. Wanna go?”

The Soldier thought it over. “Sure.”

Maybe he could never be Bucky, but he was ready to be more than just a soldier. 

Chapter Text

This was the longest the Soldier had gone without talking to Tony since they’d become… friends? Coworkers? Weird weapons buddies?

Whatever they were, he had loved it and now there seemed like there was a gap in his life that none of the other Avengers could fill. Sure, he liked them and they were becoming a part of his new normal, but Tony was his normal first and not having him around was not… normal.

Steve was bearing the brunt of this, considering the Soldier was finally okay with spending time with him. 

“I left a salted caramel frappuccino outside his door. The whipped cream was fresh, I whipped it myself! I go back and it’s melted. Such a waste, but also how could he refuse that? I put chocolate shavings on top! And not even the real chocolate that normal people like! The milk chocolate that’s way too sweet but he loves it because he’s secretly five.”

Steve rolled his eyes, smudging the sketch he was working on and staining his thumb with charcoal. 

“If he’s secretly five, that makes your crush on him a little creepy. You have enough of an age gap already.”

The Soldier was standing at the counter, whisking batter, and promptly faltered, sending the bowl spinning and only being prevented from falling to the floor by Steve’s outstretched hand.

“What?”

Steve shrugged, sliding the bowl back to him before the batter could drip from the whisk onto the counter.

“What, what?”

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

The look Steve gave him was pointed and the Soldier hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“What are you baking?”

The Soldier shrugged. “Cupcakes.”

Steve held up the bottle next to him. “And what is this?”

“Red food dye.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“I’m making red velvet. It’s not a big deal.” It wasn’t. The Soldier loved to bake and lots of people liked red velvet cupcakes.

“So, red velvet isn’t Stark’s favourite flavour?”

“No,” he lied. Steve didn’t look like he believed him, but the Soldier just snatched the bottle out of his hand and poured some into the bowl.

“Red velvet is a great flavour, Steve. I’m allowed to bake whatever I want.”

Steve was thankfully silent and the Soldier returned to baking, restraining himself from whisking too much as he thought about what Steve had said. Sure, he liked Tony and sure, he thought that his inventions were the best things in the world, but that didn’t mean it was a crush. He was a highly trained assassin. He couldn’t have crushes.

The Soldier decided the best option was to shove the thought into the corner of his brain and forget it. He had a fair amount of amnesia, so it shouldn’t be too difficult, right?

While the cupcakes were in the oven, he felt too antsy to sit still and opened the fridge. When he spotted the bottle inside, he tilted his head.

“Thor mentioned Tony having bladder issues. Should I bring him some cranberry juice with lunch?”

Steve looked up from his work with an exasperated expression and the Soldier rushed to explain.

“If I don’t bring him lunch, he won’t eat anything. I’m still his bodyguard!”

“Isn’t he ignoring all of your food?”

“Just the coffee,” the Soldier mumbled.

“No,” Steve stood up and slapped his hands onto the counter. “I can’t deal with this. This is worse than your crush on Deirdre back in the day, even if you don’t remember it. You need a distraction.”

“I do?” The Soldier blatantly ignored the word ‘crush’.

“Yes,” Steve stated. “I was going to wait to ask, but, well, you’ve been involved with protecting Stark lately, so I was wondering if you wanted to try a mission. With us.”

“With the Avengers?”

Steve nodded.

“I don’t know. If I’m gone during an attack, who’s protecting Tony?”

“He has other bodyguards. Besides, he spends all his time in his workshop, which is the safest place he can be.”

The Soldier bit his lip, thinking it over. He hadn’t really been in any action for a while and Winter was itching to be used again. Maybe he could bring his taser, too. 

“Are you sure?”

Steve nodded eagerly. “We have a mission planned, so it’s not like it will be a surprise or anything. Simple recon, looking into some AIM stuff.”

He felt a bit better about there being a set timeline and not having to wait until New York was attacked again.

He took the cream cheese out of the fridge to warm up and took a deep breath before nodding. It was just one mission. What was the worst that could happen?

When the day of the mission arrived, the Soldier stowed away his weapons and met the others by the elevator. As soon as he showed up, Clint’s jaw dropped and he looked between him and Iron Man.

“You-you’re here? On this mission? With us?”

The Soldier shifted nervously, hand reaching for Winter’s strap for support.

“Didn’t Steve tell you?”

“He did,” Clint said. “But I didn’t think you’d come because- I thought- Aren’t you Iron Man?”

The Soldier’s anxiety fled as confusion and horror swept through him. “Excuse me?”

“You cost me a decent amount of money, I hope you’re happy about that,” the archer pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and handed it to Natasha, who smiled.

“You thought I was Iron Man?”

“You guys bet on me?” Iron Man looked around at them. They couldn’t see his face, but he managed to sound a little put out.

“You were all mysterious,” Clint said to the Soldier. “And you said you knew Stark for years! And you’re all protective of him!”

He couldn’t help but snort. “Yea, but Iron Man isn’t.”

“Hey!” Iron Man called out.

The Soldier just shrugged. “You’re not a very good bodyguard.”

Iron man crossed his arms, but said nothing. The Soldier frowned, as usually he’d start some sort of back and forth. Not that he was complaining about less conversation with Iron Man.

“Anyway,” Steve cut in. “We trust our teammate’s privacy and don’t want to know his identity.”

“You’re just saying that because you bet on Rhodes.”

Steve spluttered and Iron Man turned on him.

“You think I’m Rhodes?”

“That’s not important right now,” Steve bit out. “We have a mission and we should focus on that.”

The Soldier wondered if Iron Man was laughing at them underneath his suit, safe that they were all ignorant to his true identity. Or maybe he was Rhodes and was freaking out. The Soldier had no idea and it was the first time he was really curious as to who Iron Man was.

He shook that thought out of his head and followed the others to the quinjet. The ride was long, so Clint and Bruce decided to teach Thor some card games. Iron Man was sitting to the side with Steve, discussing strategy.

The Soldier stood up to stretch his legs and stay amped up when Natasha spoke.

“Are all your weapons Stark tech?”

He felt everyone’s gaze turn to him and grabbed Winter’s strap to fiddle with.

“It’s the best quality. Doesn’t he make your stuff, too?”

“Yea,” Clint said. “But none of our stuff has his logo.”

“And that rifle is part of his earlier work,” Iron Man said. “He made that himself, it wasn’t mass produced.”

The Soldier couldn’t stop a soft smile. “Maybe that’s why it’s the best.”

“Oh my gosh,” Clint groaned. “You’re a fanboy. I thought you were Iron Man, but you’re just a Stark fanboy.”

“I’m not a fanboy,” the Soldier protested, not knowing what a fanboy was, but surmising it was something he didn’t want to be.

“Then what’s this?” Natasha pulled the handgun out of his belt. The Soldier would’ve been shocked she managed to get one over on him, but he was distracted by her waving the handgun he stole. The one he drew his own logo on.

Iron Man grabbed it from her and looked it over.

“This wasn’t even released. DId you take this from m-his workshop?”

“I needed a gun,” the Soldier said, immediately wishing he were anywhere else. “It wasn’t being used.”

“Why did you put a Stark logo on it?” Iron man’s metal fingers were tracing over the etching and the Soldier felt a burst of anger. He snatched the gun back and returned it to his belt.

“So I know it’s the best. You fly the armor, you know Tony’s tech is the best. Shouldn’t you be a little more appreciative of his inventions?”

Iron Man was silent and Steve took that as his cue to cut in.

“Bu- um, it’s very nice that you appreciate Stark. He is a great inventor.” The look Steve sent him did little to hide his amusement and the Soldier had the feeling this did nothing to dissuade his whole ‘crush’ theory. He sank into his seat and crossed arms. Thankfully, the others let him be for the rest of the flight.

Besides the teasing, when it came to the mission they worked well. Bruce and Thor created a distraction, Clint and Bucky were lookout, and Steve and Iron Man watched Natasha’s back while she collected the data.

It was a simple mission, nothing should’ve gone wrong. Unfortunately, when they were leaving, AIM was ready for them.

It was grueling, but the Soldier found that he kind of enjoyed it. Fighting was something he was good at, but this was the first where he knew that fighting was good. He’d never cared about sides before, but he likes being on the Avengers’.

The soldiers had good tech, but it wasn’t Stark. Iron Man took care of it while Bruce turned, providing a good amount of ground support.

They worked well together, even though it was the Soldier’s first day out, and it seemed like everything would go well. Then there was an explosion.

“Clint, I swear, if you do that one more time, I will punch you in the face.”

“But it’s right there. I have to.”

The Soldier glared as Clint gave him yet another high five. He really shouldn’t have been surprised, this was Clint. Honestly, he was grateful no one was hurt and they got out safely.

Unfortunately, in the explosion, his metal arm got a little too hot and was now frozen in an upright position. It was like that because he had lifted it to protect his face, but Clint took it as an open invitation for unlimited high fives.

So there he was, sitting in the living room, as Clint once more slapped his metal palm.

“Clint!”

“If you’re so annoyed, just go get it fixed.”

The Soldier didn’t respond. That would be easy, but it also meant going to talk to Tony and he was a bit scared to. If he was turned down, he wasn’t sure how he’d take it, especially without being able to properly stress bake.

“Oh, are you too starstruck? They always say to never meet your heroes. Do you think Stark is an ass in person? I bet the cameras make him look taller.”

“He’s not an ass!” 

Clint smirked and high fived the Soldier yet again. 

Unable to take it anymore, he stood up and pushed Clint into a cushion. Ignoring the startled yelp, he went downstairs to the workshop.

He could do this. It was a completely professional situation and Tony would treat it as such. He had to. He was professional. Sure, he fell asleep with hammers and went to the bathroom too much, but he owned a business.

He approached the doors, stared at them for a moment, then stepped back. He couldn’t do this.

“Sir is waiting for you inside, if you’re here about your arm.”

The Soldier immediately looked up, even though he knew JARVIS wasn’t in the ceiling.

“Right, um. Thank you.”

The doors opened and the Soldier went inside. Tony was there, bent over his work. His t-shirt was covered in stains and his jeans were ratty and torn. He looked so casual and comfy, the Soldier had to resist the urge to wrap him in a hug. They didn’t do that anymore. They were professional.

“Hey,” Tony looked up. “You can take a seat, I’ll take a look.”

The Soldier nodded and listened. The raised arm was starting to weigh on his shoulder and he looked around for a distraction as Tony came over.

“I heard about the mission. Glad it was the disposable arm.”

The Soldier cracked a smile, but Tony was already looking away. Eager to break the silence, he spoke up.

“So, what were you working on?”

Tony didn’t answer and the Soldier wondered if he would be ignored. Tony brought a tool over and began lifting the plates of his arm. It was only once they were all up that he spoke.

“It’s a liquid polymer. If all goes well, it can seek out landmines and absorb the damage so they can be removed without hurting anyone.”

The Soldier looked at Tony’s face. He spoke so simply, like it was nothing. Like he was of course he could invent such a thing. The Soldier knew Tony made great weapons and he’d been upset when he stopped, but Tony was so much more than that.

“That’s amazing, Tony.”

His voice must’ve been a bit too soft because Tony looked uncomfortable, cheeks turning pink.

“Um,” he started awkwardly. “Your arm. It’s not great, but I can adjust it so you can move again. There’s a bit of melting though, so honestly the best would be a new system.”

“A new arm?” The Soldier looked at the metal limb. It was all he knew, not remembering much before it. 

“Yeah. I have some schematics I made earlier, so it wouldn’t take too long. There would be a lot of tests and fittings of course, but-”

“You’d make it?”

Tony finally looked up, locking their eyes.

“Well, yeah. Who else?”

The Soldier smiled broadly. He may not have a suit of armor, but an arm made by Tony.

“I’d love that. Thank you, Tony.”

Tony looked away again, clearly embarrassed. 

“Right, you’re a fan of Stark Tech. Thanks for stealing my gun, by the way.”

If the Soldier wasn’t in the middle of having his arm prodded, he would’ve fallen out of his seat. As it was, it was a close call.

“Iron Man told you?”

“He likes to gossip,” Tony shrugged.

“He can shove it,” the Soldier muttered, but he saw Tony fight a smile, so maybe it was worth it.

They were silent for the rest of the time, Tony thankfully not teasing him anymore. When Tony was finished, the Soldier stood and finally lowered his arm.

“Thank you so much, Tony.”

He nodded and the Soldier wondered if that was it. Would he just leave and they’d go back to being strangers?

He turned, but Tony touched his arm, holding him back.

“I know I’ve been avoiding you.”

The Soldier shrugged. “You’re mad at me.”

“No,” Tony looked pained. “I mean, I was, but it’s not just that. After the attack, I was looking through the Hydra files again and I found one of your missions.”

The Soldier stared. He didn’t remember much of his time at Hydra, being wiped every few years, but he didn’t think there was anything that would shock Tony. Except maybe-

“Oh. That.”

Tony nodded, his arm falling back to his side. “Yeah, that.”

“I’m sorry,” the Soldier said, not sure if it was enough. “It was Stane, if you wanted to know.”

“Of course it was,” Tony said bitterly. “So, you remember it?”

The Soldier nodded. “I do. Honestly, it was because of Hammer Tech that I failed.”

Tony’s brows scrunched. “You… failed?”

“Well, yeah,” the Soldier spoke slowly, wondering why that was surprising. “You’re still alive, aren’t you?”

Tony still looked confused, but then something clicked and his eyes widened.

“Right. Because you were hired to kill me. By Stane.”

“Yes. That’s why you were avoiding me, right?”

Tony opened his mouth before closing it, apparently changing his mind about something.

“Right. I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault, what you did with Hydra.”

“I’m sorry, too,” the Soldier said. “I should’ve mentioned it earlier. Not my proudest moment.”

Tony nodded quickly, his eyes shining brightly. “No, I get it. And at least you failed, so yay for Hammer being crappy.”

“Honestly, I chose Hammer tech on purpose.” The Soldier wrung his hands together, grateful his fingers were working again. “I knew your tech by then and well, you know I was a fan. So I brought a Hammer weapon because I knew it would screw things up.”

“You did?”

The Soldier nodded. “I know it didn’t do much. You were still hurt, after. Stane just hired someone else.”

Tony shook his head.

“Still, thank you. You didn’t even know me then, not really.”

The Soldier felt a smile, even though his stomach was twisting. “You’re thanking me for not killing you?”

“I guess so.”

The Soldier didn’t know how to respond, so he just asked what he’d been wanting to for weeks.

“Can we start hugging again?”

Tony said nothing, instead just moving forward to wrap his arms around the Soldier. He hugged back, burying his face in Tony’s shoulder and inhaling grease and a faint burning smell that should be worrying, but it was so Tony that the Soldier had never felt more relaxed.

He just hugged tighter, more grateful than ever that his arm was fixed.

Chapter Text

Now that the Soldier was allowed to hug Tony again, he couldn’t help but take advantage of it. He knew if he asked the other Avengers would oblige, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t sure if it was how warm Tony always was or if it was the smell of motor oil, but Tony’s hugs were the best.

If he had a problem with it, Tony didn’t say anything. The Soldier would go down to the workshop for tests and before he’d leave he’d pull the genius in for a hug. Every time he brought Tony his morning coffee he wouldn’t hand over the cup until he was held for at least a minute. The Soldier hadn’t had hugs in a long time, he was allowed to be a little indulgent.

While Tony didn’t comment, though, the other Avengers had no such restraint. The Soldier was in the kitchen one day, mulling over what to make for the day, when Bruce walked in.

“Morning, um, the Soldier? Should I be using a definite article?”

“Just ‘Soldier’ is fine,” he responded. 

Bruce nodded and went to the cupboard to pull out a mug.

“So, Tony’s been working on your arm a lot.”

“Yeah,” the Soldier sighed, measuring out some sugar for caramel. “He’s really nice.”

“He is.” Bruce said slowly. “He’s making a lot of improvements.”

“He showed me. He might be able to improve the nerve receptors so I can feel more.”

“He’s asking for my help with that, for the more biological side. Seems like he’s eager to make this arm better at lots of things.”

The Soldier nodded, knowing there was something more.

“Might be all the better for hugging, huh?”

“What do you mean?” The Soldier moved to the fridge to grab the milk and not to hide his reddening face.

“Just that better feeling in your arm might improve hugs. Of course, based on how many your getting lately, I’m not sure they could be any better.”

“Is there a point to this?”

Bruce shook his head, filling up the kettle. 

“Just noticing. If you ever want to talk-”

Bruce was thankfully interrupted by (even more thankfully) Tony himself entering the kitchen. He looked a little bit dying, bruises purpling his eyes, and he had his trusty hammer tucked into his waistband.

“I don’t wanna be awake,” he groaned as he pulled himself onto a chair. The Soldier knew he’d be judged for it, but put a supportive arm around Tony anyway. The genius sagged against him, his head burying into his chest.

“Why don’t you go to sleep, then?” Bruce asked, ever the sensible one.

“Can’t,” Tony’s voice was muffled. “Have to do the things.”

“The kettle’s boiling,” Bruce said, already reaching for another mug. “Do you want a coffee?”

“I’ll make it,” the Soldier cut in, a little sharper than necessary. 

Bruce nodded slowly as the Soldier reluctantly let go of Tony and considered the ingredients. Maybe a simple caramel latte would be best.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Bruce ventured. “What’s wrong with normal coffee?”

“Tony doesn’t like coffee.”

They looked at the man in question, whose head had fallen to the counter without a super soldier to lean on. 

“This might be another stupid question,” Bruce said. “But then why drink coffee?”

Tony lifted his head. “Caffeine,” he stated before dropping again.

Bruce shook his head fondly. “Other things have caffeine. I just got a new green tea, if you want to try. It has fruit, too, to cover up the flavour.”

“Really?” Tony looked intrigued. The Soldier felt his mouth turn down into a glare.

“Sure. It’s healthier, too.”

“Why not? I’ll take any caffeine possible.”

Bruce smiled and put a tea bag in the second mug. He turned to the Soldier, smile faltering a bit at the stormy expression.

“Do you want one, too?”

The Soldier did not want tea, but he nodded anyway. Bruce passed him the tea box to choose from before going to grab the kettle. He pulled out a non-caffeinated tea, a plan forming in his head.

Bruce had chosen a Stark Industries mug for Tony, which was just predictable. Making sure no one was looking, the Soldier quickly switched bags and put the green tea in his own mug.

Tony was barely awake and didn’t notice, but Bruce had returned with the kettle and raised his eyebrows. The Soldier looked innocent and Bruce said nothing.

Once Tony left with his secretly caffeine-free tea, Bruce turned to the Soldier.

“You know, I’m pretty sure he’d still like you if you didn’t make him coffee.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the Soldier said before taking a slow sip of his tea. It wasn’t bad, actually.

The Soldier was pleased when Tony turned up a couple hours later, begging for coffee because for some strange reason, the tea hadn’t worked.

“Of course, Tony,” he smiled. “Always happy to help.”

Tony sat and watched him move about the kitchen, caramelizing the sugar as the coffee maker beeped away. Soon he placed a steaming mug of actual caffeine in front of him and it was snatched up immediately to be consumed.

“You are the best,” Tony muttered. It was unclear whether he was talking to the coffee or the Soldier.

“Glad you like it,” he said, turning to start cleaning up.

“Seriously, though,” Tony went on. “You are so good in the kitchen. I have hated coffee for so long, but when you make it’s just so damn good.”

“Oh,” the Soldier fought a blush. “Well, the machine does most of the work.”

“I’ve used the piece of junk loads of times, soldier. It’s all you.”

“It’s not junk,” the Soldier said, unsure about receiving raise. “It’s great, honestly. Way better than any I’ve had to use in the past.”

“Sure,” Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s not Stark tech though.”

“Maybe,” the Soldier acknowledged. “But it’s basically the Stark tech of coffee machines.”

There was a loud thump as the mug hit the counter. Tony suddenly looked alert.

“Excuse you. Stark is of a higher caliber than that- that- that!”

“With weapons and stuff, sure,” the Soldier said. “But you don’t really make kitchen appliances.”

“You don’t know my life!” Tony stood up suddenly and pulled the machine out of the wall. “I can make a coffee machine that could eat this machine for breakfast! But it won’t, because it’s coffee would be crap.”

“But you make weapons.”

Tony’s jaw dropped and he struggled to reach into his pocket and hold up his Stark phone. The Soldier shrugged.

“That barely counts. You’re pretty deadly with it.”

Tony scoffed, leaving with the coffee maker tucked under his arm. The Soldier wondered what the hell he’d done.

Tony disappeared for the next little while. Without the coffee machine, the Avengers had to stick to instant and it was putting everyone on edge.

The Soldier kept up his coffee duty, secure in the knowledge that Bruce would not be infringing. He had no idea what Tony was doing in his workshop until the Avengers were in the living room watching the news. Tony was on the screen, smiling smugly.

“So, Mr. Stark. What inspired the idea of a Stark line of kitchen appliances?”

“Stark Industries has had a set reputation for many years. Recently I’ve been trying to change that.”

Tony launched into a well-practiced speech about his company, but the Soldier could feel the self-satisfaction radiating through the TV. He was pretty sure that this was all done to prove a point, even if Tony really was trying to turn his company around.

Rolling his eyes, he walked into the kitchen. On the counter was a brand new coffee machine, sleek and silver and stamped across the side with the Stark logo.

The Soldier liked the old machine, but he had to admit, nothing could be better than Stark.

Chapter Text

Tony was welding, which meant the Soldier was in the workshop, too, watching.

He couldn’t help it. He’d spent so long appreciating Stark tech, it was only recently that he was able to appreciate the process behind it.

“What are you working on this time?”

Tony looked up, thankfully turning off the torch before answering.

“Something electronic.”

The Soldier narrowed his eyes, noticing the way Tony wouldn’t meet his gaze and how his lips were twitching.

“What kind of electronic?”

“The kind that uses electricity.”

Curious, the Soldier walked over to get a closer look at the project, even as Tony tried to block it with his hands. It wasn’t finished yet, but the Soldier could make out the heating element and some other distinguishing features.

“Is that a toaster oven?”

“No.”

The Soldier raised an eyebrow and Tony caved. It was nice to know he could have some effect on the genius. 

“Fine, yes. You mentioned your pie crust baking unevenly so I figured I’d make a better oven for you.”

“Thanks, Tony. That’s sweet of you.”

As usual, Tony shrugged off the praise. 

“Don’t get a big head. I’m just trying to get you to stop using inferior tech.”

“Of course,” the Soldier nodded appeasingly. “Does that mean you’ll build me a new electric toothbrush, too?”

“No, because that would be ridiculous,” Tony answered as he scribbled something down on a piece of scrap paper. The Soldier couldn’t help but beam and when Tony looked up his breath caught.

“That’s nice.”

“What is?”

Tony gestured to his face. “You smile more than before. Don’t get me wrong, you brood very prettily, but the smiling is nice, too.”

The Solder leaned against the table, suddenly dizzy. “I guess I just have more to smile about nowadays.”

Tony full on blushed at that and it was a rare enough sight that the Soldier felt his heart clench at being the one to make it happen.

Just because it was hard to get Tony to blush and for no other reason, Steve.

“Anyway,” Tony said quickly. “I still have to finish up your arm. It’s almost done, though. You can take a look if you want.”

“Really?”

Tony nodded behind the Soldier. He turned to see a long case and went over to look inside. The Hydra arm worked fine, sure, but this one was made personally by Tony Stark, which meant it was vastly superior.

The metal was sleek and intricate and he couldn’t stop running his flesh hand over it.

“Wow.”

“Thanks.” Tony’s voice came from right next to him and the Soldier blamed the beautiful tech for distracting him from noticing.

“I still have some tweaking to do, mainly once it’s attached. I meant to ask if you wanted to keep the red star.”

“Sure,” the Soldier said. Then he noticed something else missing and frowned.

“What is it? Not shiny enough?”

“The Stark logo’s not on it. Didn’t you make it?”

“Of course I did,” Tony sounded mildly offended. “But it was made for you and our prosthetics division isn’t up and running yet. I didn’t think you’d want my name stamped across your…”

Tony trailed off, probably because the Soldier’s face displayed how much he wanted the world to know that his arm was made by Tony.

“But we can change that,” Tony changed course. “I can put the logo on it.”

“Yeah?”

Tony shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. Like he wasn’t making the Soldier the happiest he had ever been. 

“I’ll do you one better. I can engrave my signature onto it. Makes it even more one of a kind and a lot more permanent than Sharpie.”

If the Soldier was happy they’d made amends before, he was ecstatic now because he was able to pull Tony into the tightest hug he could manage.

“Easy, soldier. Ribs.”

The Soldier loosened his grip, but refused to let go.

“Thank you so much, Tony. I love it.”

“Any time, snowflake.”

This time the Soldier did pull away, tilting his head in confusion.

“You’ve never called me that before.”

Tony smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I have a nickname addiction. Ask anyone. I know you have a thing with your name, so I can stop if you-”

“No. I- I like it.”

“Cool.” Tony rocked on his feet awkwardly. “Very cool. Literally. Because snow.”

The Soldier groaned. “Am I gonna regret this?”

Tony laughed. “Maybe. Snowflake is good, but what about Snowdrop? Snow White? Winter Wonder?”

The Soldier wanted to be annoyed, but he just laughed. “Sure. But what do I call you?”

Tony shrugged. “Tony is the only nickname I’ve been given, though I don’t think it counts. Rhodey calls me ‘Tones’ sometimes.”

The Soldier frowned in thought. “Can I call you whatever I want?”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “That depends. What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. Bucky Barnes had nicknames for people. Should I use the same ones?”

“Whatever keeps the smile on your face, snowflake.”

The Soldier grinned. “Thanks, doll.”

Tony choked on air and the Soldier quickly moved to rub his back, but it seemed to just make him cough even more.

“Was that bad? Is that one not good?”

“Nope,” Tony squeaked. “That’s fine. That is perfectly acceptable. Just not what I was expecting.”

“Okay,” the Soldier said slowly, still worried. “Is ‘sugar’ okay, too?”

Seeing as the Soldier had rarely seen Tony blush before, it was weird seeing him so red this time.

“Sugar is okay, too.”

“Great,” the Soldier said. “Should we work on the arm, now? Or do you want to finish the toaster oven first? Sugar,” he added quickly, just to see Tony stumble over a stray cord.

“We can do your arm. I can totally get all up in your space, not a problem at all.”

Tony started muttering to himself, but the Soldier had learned that it was best to ignore it. It wouldn’t make any sense to him, anyway.

“So you called him ‘sugar’ and he tripped?”

“Yep.”

Steve rolled his eyes and punched the bag. The Soldier stood fast on the other side.

“And that doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Tony trips a lot. He’s pretty clumsy, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I haven’t. But then, I don’t spend much time with him.”

“Why not?”

Steve threw another punch. “Not the point. Do you think that him being clumsy around you might mean he likes you back.”

“He does like me. I already knew that.”

Steve gave him a look. “I meant in the romantic sense.”

There was another punch and this time the Soldier was sent stumbling back. He shook it off, staring at Steve.

“This again? We’re just friends.”

“Really? The only person he hugs more than you is probably Rhodes.”

“He hugs Rhodes more than he hugs me?”

The Soldier spoke before he could stop himself and realized that wasn’t helping his case.

“Look, I may not know Stark that well, but he clearly cares about you and obviously he makes you happy. Why not go for it?”

The Soldier shrugged. “I’m not saying I like him that way, but if I did,” he stressed firmly, “I don’t think it would go well.”

“Buck- um, you can’t mean that.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Steve.”

Thankfully, Steve let it go, but he knew the matter wasn’t dropped. He was even more grateful that Steve was quiet when the door to the gym opened and Tony Stark himself entered.

“Morning, soldiers. At ease.”

Steve rolled his eyes while the Soldier fought a smile.

“You decide to join our training?” Steve asked. 

Tony clutched his chest dramatically. “Never. I like to leave the acrobatics to Iron Man. I’m just here to make sure the arm hasn’t exploded or anything.”

“Not that I’ve noticed,” the Soldier said, warming when that earned a laugh from Tony. He knew Steve was rolling his eyes at them, but he didn’t care.

“Great. If you want to stop by later, I can run some more diagnostics.”

“Sure,” the Soldier replied. “I’ll see you there.”

Tony nodded and left, while the Soldier turned to Steve.

“You ready to keep going?”

“No,” Steve said. “Just go downstairs, I know you’ll be useless if you stay.”

The Soldier wanted to defend himself, but he wanted to spend time with Tony more so he saluted quickly and ran after the genius.

“Wait up!”

He caught Tony by the elevator, looking confused.

“You done already?”

“Yeah, Steve’s wiped.”

Tony accepted that and they got into the elevator. The Soldier couldn’t hold back the question weighing on his mind.

“Do you really not go to any training?”

Tony shook his head. “Not with the team, no. Doesn’t seem fair, given I’m a little more squishy than the others.”

The Soldier glanced at Tony’s arms, on display from his tank top. They didn’t look squishy, but he let Tony continue.

“I let Iron Man do all the fighting, anyway.”

“But you still end up in danger a lot,” the Soldier spoke carefully, their fight weighing on his mind.

“Sure,” Tony agreed. “And I do some boxing with Happy on occasion. These looks aren’t pure genetics, you know.”

“Definitely,” the Soldier appreciated said looks for a moment before realizing that was probably weird and quickly looked away.

“Uh, but you really trust Iron Man like that? You think he’ll always protect you?”

“I have to,” Tony said. “He’s my bodyguard.”

“So am I,” the Soldier reminded. “And I’m around you more than he is.”

“Which I have no complaints about, “Tony winked. “But just because you don’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not around. If I need him, I know he’ll be there.”

The Soldier crossed his arms, unable to hide the bitterness creeping into his voice.

“You never thought about giving the job to someone else? Finding another pilot?”

Tony looked at him oddly.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering. You gave Rhodes a suit, too, so you had other options.”

“Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, dear?”

The Soldier said nothing and Tony managed to avoid answering the original question as the elevator reached the workshop.

Tony gestured. “Let’s get to work.”

Before they could, though, the Soldier’s pocket beeped. The Avengers alarm.

“Shit,” he cursed. “I better suit up.”

“Of course,” Tony said. “Be safe.”

“I was about to say the same to you.”

They smiled at each other and for some strange reason, the Soldier felt the urge to kiss Tony’s cheek. He left before he could do something so stupid.

When the Soldier had reached the hangar, Steve had warned him that the ping was from Hydra. He had every opportunity to stay behind, but he thought he was ready. He wanted to face the people who had caused him so much pain.

He wasn’t ready.

Things were going well at first. The Soldier was even reluctantly impressed by Iron Man. Just because he sucked as a bodyguard didn’t mean he was useless in a fight.

The problem came when one of the Hydra agents recognized the Soldier as their missing weapon. 

“Halt, Asset.”

The Soldier ignored him and fired a gun into his chest. Unfortunately, the agent had managed to send a message first. 

“ Longing. ”

The Russian was clear, even through the fighting, and he distantly heard Winter falling to the ground.

“ Rusted. ”

He put his hands over his ears, trying to block it out.

“ Seventeen. ”

He screamed. He didn’t want this. He refused. He didn’t want to be the Asset again. He didn’t want to be a tool at their disposal. He didn’t want to hurt his friends, Tony.

“ Daybreak. ”

His vision was dark. He wasn’t sure if it was because his eyes were closed or he had just lost all sight. He started crying, dreading the next word, but it didn’t come.

Instead, he heard the whine of a repulsor and the thud of someone falling to the ground. Whoever was saying the words was gone, but the Soldier still felt sick and angry and a hundred other emotions.

His last thought before passing out was that maybe there was a reason he wasn’t Iron Man.

Chapter Text

The Soldier woke up feeling like his head had been run over by a tank. He was trained to withstand all sorts of pain, but that didn’t make it any more pleasant. The sharp smell of antiseptic did nothing to help, either.

“Hey, buddy. How you feeling?”

The Soldier blinked slowly, trying to regain focus. He was met with the sight of Clint, grinning broadly and leaning far too close.

“Guys! He’s awake!” Clint shouted. The Soldier groaned.

“Clint,” Bruce warned. “Give him some space.”

Clint pouted, but listened. The Soldier shakily pushed himself up, taking in the blank hospital walls. Clint, Bruce, and Steve were all looking at him.

“What happened?” The words were thick and dry on his tongue. Steve passed him a cup of water that he drained, even though it made his stomach roll.

“What do you remember?”

“The mission,” the Soldier reported. “It was Hydra and then-”

His blood went cold and his fist clenched, the empty glass shattering across the bed.

“Oh shit!” Clint leapt up. Bruce shot him a look before swiftly cleaning up the mess.

Steve nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “You okay?”

“The words- They- Did I hurt anyone? Where are the others?”

The Soldier quickly tried to get up, ignoring his head shouting in pain. Steve put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back.

“It’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Iron Man took out the agent before he could finish...” 

“Iron Man?”

Steve nodded. “He’s really not as bad as you think.”

The Soldier crossed his arms, angry at Steve for saying so, angry at Iron Man for saving the day, but mainly angry at himself for needing saving.

“No one was hurt, though?” His voice was weak.

“The mission went well. We even got a bunch of data from the base so we can knock out some more hideouts before they jump ship. Thor and Nat are out there now. We’re going to leave too, as soon as we know you’re okay.”

The Soldier squirmed at the emotion in Steve’s voice and quickly changed the subject. “What about Iron Man?”

“He’ll come in if we need him, but he’s Stark’s bodyguard first, so it’s better if he stays close.”

Something about the way he said it made it sound like it wasn’t Iron Man’s idea. Of course. Why protect Tony when he could run off into danger? Saving the Soldier or not, Iron Man was still crap at his job.

He tried to keep his annoyance from showing, distracting himself with the nervous look on Steve’s face. He may not have all of his memories, but he could hear Bucky Barnes in his head, nagging that Steve was hiding something.

“What is it?”

Steve looked at the others, who nodded and left. Even Clint looked solemn, which was pretty worrying.

“What did I do?” The Soldier felt his insides twist. It was even worse when Steve didn’t rush to correct him.

“It’s about the data from Hydra. We were going through it and, well, something came up.”

“What?”

“There were some of your old files, it’s how we learned about your words. And your old missions.”

The Soldier nodded, knowing what this was about. “When I was hired to kill Tony?”

“You were hired to what?”

“Isn’t that what it said?”

“No, this was-  But wait, does Stark know?”

“Yeah, we talked about it. I didn’t exactly succeed, so he seemed fine with it.”

Steve took an exasperated breath. “Alright, I’m going to ignore that because you’ve talked about it and also, this file wasn’t about that.”

“What was it about?”

“December 16, 1991.”

The date sounded familiar, though the Soldier wasn’t sure why. It was like trying to grab hold of water before it slipped through his fingers.

“You don’t… you don’t remember?” Steve looked heartbroken.

“I don’t think so.”

“You were sent,” Steve paused, struggling to get the words out. “It was a mission. An assassination.”

The Soldier swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Who did I kill?”

“Howard and Maria. Stark.”

He was grateful he was in bed because otherwise he would’ve fallen down. He had no memory of the mission, but he somehow knew it was true. Howard and Maria. Tony’s parents. He killed them.

He knew he had been an assassin. He knew he had killed people, even if most memories were wiped for security. At night, his victims were blurry faces floating through his mind. Now Howard and Maria stood clearly in his mind. He had killed them.

“Does- Does Tony know?”

Steve shook his head. “Nat and I went through the files.”

The Soldier moved sluggishly, swinging his feet to the floor.

“Buck- What are you doing?”

“I have to tell him.”

“What?”

Steve sounded so shocked that the Soldier whirled on him.

“I can’t just keep it from him!”

“But you can’t tell him! Not like this! Who knows what he’ll do?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if he hurts you?”

“Well, he has a damn right to!”

Steve shrunk back as though struck.

“It wasn’t you. It’s not your fault.”

“I did it, though. And if that Hydra agent said the rest of my words, I’d have to do it again. Tony swore not to make weapons anymore and I had him build another one.” He gestured to his arm helplessly, Tony’s signature standing out sharply against the metal.

“That’s not a-”

“It is. I am. I’m an asset. A soldier, nothing more. All I do is follow orders and since Tony is my boss right now, I have to warn him about the security threat.”

“You aren’t a security threat.”

The Soldier walked out the door. Thankfully, Steve let him.

He could see Tony in his workshop, typing quickly even though his gaze was far away. His hair was mussed and his eyes looked tired. The Soldier wondered if he had gotten enough sleep. He wanted to wrap the genius in a blanket and take him to bed.

He shook his head. That wasn’t why he was here. He was here to turn himself in, to let Tony have whatever justice he asked for.

He knocked gently, not wanting to use the code he’d been given. Tony looked up and his eyes lit up as he quickly waved him in. The Soldier soaked up Tony’s happiness while it lasted, knowing that he would have to put out that light soon.

“Snowflake, you’re okay! I wanted to be there when you woke up, but Steve-”

The Soldier cut Tony off by pulling him into a hug. He held on as tight as he could, knowing this would likely be his last chance. His shoulders started to shake as he cried into Tony’s shirt.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Tony’s hand landed on his back, rubbing gently. “Hey. What’s up, buttercup?”

The Soldier buried his face into Tony’s neck, the soothing scent of cologne and motor oil filling his senses.

“I killed your parents.” He felt Tony freeze, but kept talking. “On one of my missions. I don’t remember it, but Steve found the files and I-”

He waited to be pushed away. He waited for shouting and cursing and for Tony to hate him.

What he got instead was Tony holding him tighter and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I know.”

The Soldier pulled back so he could look at Tony, but didn’t leave his arms.

“What?”

“I found it when I was reading up on you. I- I saw the video.”

“There’s a video?”

Tony nodded. 

“Do you hate me?”

“No,” Tony said quickly. “I mean, I was hurt and angry and I definitely avoided you for a while.”

“After the mission,” the Soldier remembered. “I thought it was because I was hired to kill you.”

“Yeah. When I realized you had no memory and, honestly, reading what Hydra did to you… I couldn’t stay mad.”

The Soldier felt more tears well up, but he didn’t care.

“So you don’t hate me?”

Tony laughed and it was the most beautiful sound the Soldier had ever heard.

“I couldn’t even if I tried.”

The Soldier tightened the hug once more, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in Tony.

“I’m so sorry, doll.”

“I know. It’s not your fault, but I know.”

“I want to make it right.”

Tony pulled back, helping the Soldier to sit on a stool. He hadn’t realized how much he was shaking.

“You have made it right. It wasn’t you, but since then you’ve saved me way more times than necessary.”

“They’re all necessary,” the Soldier interjected. Tony kept talking.

“When Obie hired you and when I first hired you. And let’s not forget about that email you sent Rhodey.”

The Soldier blushed. “You, uh, you knew about that?”

Tony scoffed. “You think Colonel James Rhodes would follow a mysterious lead without a little background check? When he told me it was from Hydra, I was confused. Honestly, I thought it was from Bob.”

“You know Bob?”

“Everyone knows Bob, snowflake.”

The Soldier felt a hint of a smile, mulling over Tony’s words.

“You never call Rhodes by his first name.”

“I think we’ve established I’m really bad at using people’s names.”

“But,” the Soldier took a breath. “Do you not like the name James?”

Tony frowned. “I don’t have any strong feelings about it. Rhodey just never looked like a James to me.”

“What about me?”

“You?”

The Soldier reached out and took Tony’s hand, squeezing it to anchor himself.

“What if I used the name? Would that be alright?”

“Hun, you can use whichever name you want. James, Jamie, hell, even Jimbo.”

He wanted to roll his eyes at Tony, but instead James was grabbing his collar to crash their lips together in a heated kiss.

Considering how much time he spent appreciating Tony’s mind and hands, he was not giving his mouth the attention it deserved. And it deserved a lot. Tony kissed back immediately, his lips warm, but slightly chapped, and his hands pulling them closer together.

James stood up again, planning to deepen the kiss, but then he was pushed back. Tony was flushed and panting, his eyes wide with shock.

“Tony.” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat. “Are you-”

“Oh shit.” Tony ran his hands through his hair. “That was- I’m sorry. I want- But I can’t.”

James felt his heart sink. “You can’t?”

“It’s not fair to you,” Tony pleaded.

“It’s not fair for me to be happy?”

Tony looked like he might cry. “You don’t know- And I can’t tell you-”

“Tell me what?”

Tony turned away, his back tensed. “I’m sorry.”

James refused to cry. He turned and left, his lips still stinging.

Chapter Text

When James was gone, Tony finally turned around and smacked a hand to his forehead.

He was such an idiot. James always went on about how smart he was, but Tony was just a damn fool. James had come to him for comfort and Tony had slammed the door in his face.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to kiss James. Kissing him was amazing. Whoever named him the Winter Soldier was stupid because James was so warm and soft and-

And Tony pushed him away. He wanted it so badly, but he couldn’t. Not when he was lying to the man, betraying his trust with every breath. James had come to Tony as soon as he’d found out about his parents, but Tony still couldn’t tell him the truth.

He wished he could blame it on James’ clear disdain for Iron Man, but he knew that wasn’t it. He was just a coward. Pepper couldn’t handle it and based on how James reacted when Tony was in danger before, who knew how he’d take this?  

Tony looked at his computer, where he’d been working on the B.A.R.F. program. He had originally been meaning it as a therapeutic device, but after what happened on the mission, with James...

He shook his head. His hands hovered over the keyboard, but refused to go back to work. It was nearly finished, but he couldn’t get himself to focus.

Sighing, he opened the chamber that hid his armor instead.

“JARVIS, run diagnostics on B.A.R.F. I’m going out.”

“Of course, sir.”

Suited up, Tony used his secret exit to fly out and into the sky. He had the coordinates for the Hydra bases on file, including the one Thor and Nat were at right now. He might as well go see if they needed help.

Even though he was just looking for a fight as a distraction, Nat and Thor seemed grateful for the aid.

“Need some air support?”

“Good to see you, Iron Man,” Nat’s voice came in on the comms. “We’re handling the lackeys, think you can take out the deadly thing?”

Tony looked at the roof, where a complicated device was sending beams at Thor, who was barely managing to dodge.

“On it.”

The fight was a good idea. Not only was he helping, but he could clear his mind and focus on the task at hand. He shot and swerved and managed a decent hit at the gun.

It had an impact, but it wasn’t enough to take it out entirely. Tony prepared another blast, but he had already made himself a target and was hit by the beam. 

His armor protected him from a lot, but he was still knocked out of the sky and fell into a heap in front of a cluster of Hydra goons. The boss, as made clear by his snooty expression, looked down at him.

“Iron Man. A nut I’ve been eager to crack.”

Tony jumped up, ignoring his aching muscles, and started firing. He knocked out some agents, but Snooty was a little more agile than he looked.

“Hold still so I can blast you off this roof,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Hm,” Snooty said. “How about you hold still?”

A blade was thrown at him and Tony knocked it aside with his arm, almost laughing at how lame an attack that was.

At least, he thought it was lame, until he felt a sharp pain and looked down to see a large gash in the suit and blood flowing from his arm.

“What the-”

“Vibranium,” Snooty said, holding up more blades. “I trust you're familiar.”

“Shit.”

The balance shifted, this time Tony having to dodge as Snooty sliced at him, his HUD flashing red every time something vital was cut away.

Tony knew he was little more than a man in a can, but now his can was being cut away, and he was left vulnerable.

His flash of insecurity was all it took for Snooty to knock him down, blade pressed against his chest.

“Let’s see what makes you tick, huh?”

He felt the blade pierce through the metal and into his skin, cutting away until his arc reactor was on display, surrounded by scars and blood.

“Interesting,” Snooty said. “What would happen if I just-”

There was another sharp pain, but it wasn’t a knife. It was a needle. He could feel something cold entering his veins and almost immediately, his reactor went dark.

“What-”

His heart was in pain. Shrapnel was moving through his bloodstream and his vision was swimming. All he could see was Snooty smiling down at him.

With as much strength as he could muster, he lifted his arm to smack the guy with what remained of his gauntlet. Snooty crumpled to the ground and Tony was gone.

When Tony woke up, his back hurt.

He tried to move, but everything hurt. His HUD glowed in front of him, but it was slightly different.

“Where am I?”

JARVIS was a calming voice in his ear.

“A rooftop in Chicago, sir. When your armor was compromised, I sent the Mark 20 prototype.”

“20?” Tony shuffled and felt the armor surrounding him like a second skin. He still couldn’t bring himself to move so far.

“Yes, sir. It was the only one with capable EMP shielding.”

“EMP?” Tony had never been so incapable of talking in his life, but at the moment his throat felt like it was the new home of a family of vipers.

“The Hydra agent injected you with EMP nanites, capable of eliminating any immediate technology.”

“My heart?”

“Stable. The suit has the nanites neutralized at the moment.”

“Hydra?”

“Threat has been neutralized.”

Tony nodded absently. “Are the others okay?”

“The other Avengers took down the base, but are now looking for you. I flew the suit here to avoid the risk of your identity being revealed.”

“Thank you, JARVIS. So tell me about these nanites. How do I get rid of them?”

“Scans indicate they will pass through your system eventually. A week at minimum.”

“Shit,” Tony said. “And until then?”

“I recommend staying in the suit to keep them neutralized. Otherwise they may continue disrupting the arc reactor.”

Tony lay on the roof, giving up his attempts to move. At least a week of this, stuck inside this suit. 

“I’m so glad we updated that filtration system or using the bathroom would be a bitch.”

Chapter Text

James blinked as the images faded away and the blank walls returned. He had been skeptical of a program called B.A.R.F. but he realized he shouldn’t have doubted something Tony Stark built.

But then, he couldn’t even be sure Tony built it when he hadn’t seen the man for days. Bruce had found him, explaining the program and that Tony thought it might help with the words. It was a brutal process, but it seemed like progress was being made.

“Good job,” Bruce said as he entered. “You did good.”

“I’m not doing anything,” James muttered.

“You’re doing a lot,” Bruce insisted. “Even if you don’t realize it.”

James smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“I’ll send this data off to Tony. I’m sure he’ll be proud of you, too.”

His mind flashed back to their kiss, urgent and heated and far too long ago. The hollow feeling at being rejected still remained.

“I suppose. I wish I could thank him in person.”

“Maybe when he gets back.”

James blinked. “Back?”

“Yeah, he’s away on business. Didn’t he tell you?”

“No. He- We haven’t been talking much.”

Bruce put a hand on James’ arm comfortingly. “Tony’s better at machines than people. Give him time.”

“Aren’t I basically a machine?” James shrugged his metal arm uselessly.

“No more so than he is. If it’s about the pining, though, I suggest being up front with him.”

James choked, but figured he wasn’t exactly in a place to argue. “I think kissing him was pretty up front.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“And then he pushed me away.”

“Oh, Tony.”

“I guess he doesn’t see me that way.” The words tasted odd on his tongue. The kiss hadn’t felt like Tony didn’t like him back. 

“Which is fine,” he went on. “I never expected him to. But I was hoping… if we could be friends, still.”

“Oh, he definitely likes you back,” Bruce said confidently. “He doesn’t shut up about you. It would be really annoying if it weren’t so sweet.”

“Really?”

Bruce nodded. “He’s just being Tony. It was right after that Hydra mission, he probably thought you weren’t in the right headspace.”

“But he hasn’t talked to me since.”

“He could also think he doesn’t deserve you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he can be a bit insecure at times.”

He had noticed. He thought it was weird because Tony was amazing, but he had noticed.

Bruce smiled encouragingly. “Maybe you can talk to him?”

“I will,” James promised. “As soon as he gets back. When is that, anyway?”

Bruce shrugged. “Not sure. Didn’t even see him leave. Just got the email saying he’d be back when he could.”

James frowned. That seemed odd. He was still an SI employee and even if Tony was avoiding him, he should keep him in the loop.

“Where did he go?”

“Moscow, I think.”

James grabbed his things. “Interesting. He isn’t due to be in Moscow for another month.”

“Maybe there was an emergency?”

James nodded absently, waving a vague hand goodbye before leaving the room. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was definitely fishy about the situation. He knew who to ask first, though, and found him in the kitchen with a straw tucked under his mask.

“Iron Man.”

He put down the drink and nodded.

“Sargeant.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen Tony lately? Being his bodyguard and all.”

“Oh.” Even though it was metallic, his voice managed to sound nervous. “He’s away, right? On business.”

“Then shouldn’t you be with him?”

“Nah,” Iron Man waved a dismissive hand. “He wanted me to stay behind, keep watch on the Avengers.”

“Really?”

“He can handle himself, you know.”

James shrugged, deciding not to open that can of worms. 

“I’m his bodyguard, too. He didn’t let me know.”

“It was very spur of the moment. I’m sure he meant to email you.”

“I’m sure,” James said slowly, stepping closer. Iron Man’s armor protected any emotions from showing, but James was a trained assassin and he could smell fear. “I thought he wasn’t due to be in Tokyo for another month?”

Iron Man shrugged. “Sure, but duty calls and Tony answers.”

James crossed his arms and Iron Man jumped.

“Not Tokyo,” he rushed out. “Moscow.”

“You’re a bad bodyguard, but surely you aren’t that terrible.”

“Hey, you aren’t with him either.”

“Because he ditched me,” James spat out. He couldn’t see it, but he was sure Iron Man had flinched.

“Look, I don’t get what you’re so worried about. I can have him text you later.”

“Can I video call?”

“What?”

James felt anger and fear swelling inside him. “I want to see him, make sure he’s okay. Would I be able to video call him?”

“Um,” Iron Man looked around, clearly hoping for escape. “Wouldn’t a simple phone call do?”

“What are you hiding, Iron Man?”

“I am an open book,” he stated. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m getting an urgent message. Avengers business. You aren’t needed. I am. Gotta go.”

The window behind them suddenly opened and Iron Man flew out, leaving an angry and confused James.

This was weird. Tony avoiding him was one thing, but disappearing on a sudden business trip, Iron Man acting cagey…

He pulled out his phone and messaged the other Avengers, asking if they’d seen Tony. When they all answered, he found that none of them had seen him since the day James had woken up. The day they’d attacked Hydra bases and Iron Man had been missing for a few hours.

Suddenly, it all clicked into place. How had he not seen it before? It was so obvious. How Iron Man was so blase about Tony’s safety, how Tony had something he couldn’t tell James.

Looking down at his phone, he sent another message.

We need to meet. I know.

Chapter Text

“What the hell are you on about?”

“I’m telling you, Steve, think about it. It makes perfect sense, right?”

“No, James, it sounds insane.”

“But-”

“Look,” Steve said. “I get you have a… whatever with Iron Man. But that does not mean he kidnapped Tony Stark.”

“Then where is he? I called the Moscow office and they haven’t seen him. Said there was no emergency.”

“And you think Iron Man is behind this?”

James threw his hands up in frustration. “Who else? He’s always been crap at his job, but if Tony is kidnapped again I swear I’ll-”

“Okay,” Steve grabbed his shoulder. “Calm down. Stark has always been a loose cannon. For all we know, he could be in Turks and Caicos sipping on a coconut.”

“He prefers pineapple,” James corrected. Steve ignored him.

“And I know you don’t like him, but Iron Man- he’s my best friend.”

He said it hesitantly, like he was worried James would be offended. He wasn’t. They both knew that things were different now. They were friends, sure, but James wasn’t Bucky.

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s all a ploy. Either way, I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“So, what? You’re going to tackle him over breakfast and force him to reveal his secrets?”

“No, that would be ridiculous,” James said. “We’re meeting in an abandoned building, in case he puts up a fight.”

“James, no.”

“You find none of this suspicious? We don’t even know who Iron Man is. What if there was a real pilot, but he was killed on a mission and some villain has been wearing the suit to infiltrate the Avengers?”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“Whatever, Steve. I’m going. Just figured I’d give you a warning in case things go sideways.”

Steve sighed. “There’s no talking you out of this?”

James shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring backup.”

“That’s not what I was worried about,” Steve shouted as he left. 

James ignored him and went in search of someone who was capable enough to back him up, but also willing to go along with his plan.

“I can’t believe Iron Man’s evil.”

“Quiet, Clint!”

“I’m just saying,” he went on. “I always knew he was shady, but kidnapping Stark? That’s low. We’re useless without our sugar daddy.”

“Clint.”

“What if something happened to Stark? Will we lose the tower? Who’s next in line after Stark? Would Cap be our new sugar daddy? Or is it Iron Man? How does sugar daddy succession work?”

“If you say sugar daddy one more time-”

“And who’s going to sleep with him? I doubt you’d sleep with Iron Man if he killed your last sugar daddy. I suppose I could take one for the team, but it depends how good his wifi is. How rich do you think Iron Man is, anyways?”

“Shut up, Clint!” James yelled and the archer looked at him, aghast.

“Quiet, James, we need to be stealthy.”

James was starting to regret asking Clint to join him, but he didn’t think anyone else would help. Not that Clint was really doing much helping.

“Just go to the building across the street and stay on lookout. If things go south, get help.”

“Fine. I get the boring job, no big deal. I’m used to it. No one needs Hawkeye except for sassy banter and eye candy.”

“No, I’m the eye candy,” James said instinctively. Clint gave him an odd look and James glared at him even as he blushed.

“Roof. Go.”

Clint saluted and left, though from his smirk it was clear James had not heard the end of it.

James looked at the building and took a deep breath. No matter what happened, he would get Tony back. 

Iron Man was already waiting for him, standing like a statue in his armor. James dropped his hand to his belt, where his taser was. He wished he had Winter too, but hadn’t seen her since the fight with Hydra.

He took a moment to appreciate the suit up close. The polished metal, the red and gold complementing each other beautifully, almost like fire in how they reflected light. Tony was a genius,but how could such brilliant craftsmanship belong to someone so undeserving?

“Iron Man.”

“James.”

The metallic voice was steady, betraying no emotion. James wondered if he had any guilt at all over what he did.

“So,” he said.

“You know.” Iron Man responded.

At least he wasn’t denying it.

“I do.”

“Look, I-”

“How could you?” James couldn’t stop himself from shouting. “After everything, how could you betray us all?”

“I didn’t-”

“I finally had a home and you had to take it away from me! I thought we could become friends, but I was right all along. You don’t care about any of us.”

Iron Man cursed. “Snowflake, I-”

“Don’t call me that,” James said coldly. “Don’t you dare. Only Tony calls me that.”

The metal head tilted. “What?”

“You don’t get to kidnap the guy I maybe have a crush on and then call me by his nicknames, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Iron Man was still for a while, probably trying to come up with a convincing response. Then there was a hiss as his helmet lifted, revealing Tony Stark’s confused face.

“You maybe have a crush on me?”

Chapter Text

James had a lot of thoughts flying through his head, but at the front was dawning realization as a whole bunch of things finally made sense.

“Oh,” he said eloquently. 

“Yeah.” Tony bit his lip. “Are you mad?”

Part of James wanted to be, but so far shock and confusion were still in the lead.

“This explains why you’re such a terrible bodyguard.”

Tony laughed. “I guess. I really thought you knew. Wasn’t that why you texted me?”

“I texted Iron Man,” James spoke slowly. “Because I thought he kidnapped you.”

“What?”

“It made sense,” James said defensively. “You were missing, he was acting weird.”

“You really hate Iron Man that much?”

Tony sounded slightly hurt and James rushed to explain.

“No! I was just mad at him because he was never there to protect you. And, if I’m being honest,” James smiled sheepishly. “I was a bit jealous he got to fly the suit.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“It’s a really cool suit!”

“Is it?” Tony struck a pose, metal hand on armored hip. “Does it do you for you? Was your fanboying just a cover for your tech kink?”

“I-” James stuttered, face erupting in flames. 

“Hey, no judgement! Especially by me, everyone knows what I’m into.”

“Oh my gosh.” He hid his face in his hands.Things were turning on him very quickly. He had been expecting a battle, but he didn’t know he’d be torn apart this quickly.

Tony finally took pity on him, sobering up. “Are you… okay with this?”

“I think so,” James managed, looking up as his blush receded. “I’m still processing. Why the secrecy?”

Tony turned nervous. “It started when I got back from Afghanistan. I had the secret while I was figuring out who had me kidnapped. Eventually I realized nobody wanted Tony Stark. They just wanted Iron Man.”

“But you’re amazing.”

Tony shrugged, clearly not believing him. “I saw the report from SHIELD. They wanted Iron Man on the Avengers Initiative. I was a consultant and on a trial basis.”

“Oh,” James said. “I’m sorry.”

He knew Tony was trying to seem fine, but he was anything but. He decided to switch topics.

“If you weren’t kidnapped, where were you?”

Tony coughed awkwardly. “So, you knew that Hydra mission? Where I kind of disappeared for a bit?”

James had a feeling he would not like where this was going. “Yes?”

“I was hit with EMP. Disrupts technology and this suit can neutralize that while I wait for the nanites to pass through my system.”

“You can’t just take the suit off?”

Tony shook his head, tapping the glowing circle on his chest. The clink of metal on glass echoed.

“Arc reactor. Along with powering the suit, it powers my heart. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Technically, it stops shrapnel from killing me, but-”

James couldn’t hear anymore, instead rushing forward to hold Tony. It was different from their past hugs with the armor in the way, but he didn’t mind. He’d wanted to get his hands on the suit, anyway. He furiously pushed down Tony’s mention of tech kinks.

He felt metal arms hug him back and looked up to meet Tony’s eyes. James was happy he wasn’t the only one smiling like a sap.

“What now?” Tony asked.

“Up to you.”

“I can…” Tony swallowed. “I can tell the team. Eventually. I guess I knew I couldn’t keep the secret forever.”

“They’ll accept you, too,” James said. “They care about you.”

“Maybe. Or they’ll hate me for lying.”

“They won’t.”

“You really aren’t mad?”

James shrugged slightly. He was sure that later, when he thought things over, he would have more feelings about it, but right now he just wanted to stay in Tony’s arms, sure that he was safe. Besides, Tony had managed to forgive him for so many things, now it was James’ turn.

 “We’ve all been through tough times, we just have to deal with it together.”

“Iron Man was easy, though,” Tony explained. “Tony Stark comes with a lot of baggage.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have super strength.”

Tony laughed wetly and his eyes were so soft, James worried he might melt.

“I wanted to kiss you, too,” Tony said. “I only left because I hated lying to you.”

“Well,” James leaned in. “There are no more secrets between us.”

Tony tilted his head thoughtfully. “No, I don’t think there are.”

“So…”

“So.”

“Damn it, Stark, now no one wins the bet!”

They both turned to see an angry archer standing there, arms crossed. James took a deep breath and looked back at Tony.

“Oh, I brought Clint with me.”

“Of course you did.”

Clint remained ignorant of what he walked in on.

“So does this mean we didn’t lose our sugar daddy? Or is Iron Man still evil?”

Tony glared. “I am not a sugar daddy!”

James smirked. “Not yet, you aren’t”

Ignoring Clint, since it was his own fault for interrupting, James pulled Tony in for a kiss. It was slower and sweeter than the first, almost addictive. James could easily kiss Tony forever and without complaint. 

He tried to touch Tony’s hair and was met with the metal of his helmet. Okay, maybe one complaint.

“When can you take the armor off?” James asked between kisses.

“Two more days, probably,” Tony gasped back.

“I guess I’ll make do til then.”

There was a cough behind them. 

“Guys? I’m still here?”

James just raised up a middle finger, refusing to leave Tony ever again.

Chapter Text

James had been using BARF for weeks when the words stopped working. Natasha read them from the book and James felt… nothing. Then he felt ecstatic because he felt nothing .

“Good job, pal,” Clint slapped him on the shoulder. 

“Thank you,” James said.

“Nah, go thank Tony Man. Iron Stark? What does he go by now?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at him, but she was fighting a smile. James was happy when Tony told the team and he was even happier that they all seemed okay with it. Sure, Natasha apparently knew already and Bruce cared about Tony as well as Iron Man, but it was still awkward. Steve kept pausing whenever he saw him, staring like he was trying to solve a complicated equation.

Bruce walked in and assured James that they would keep going, just to make sure things were okay, but he didn’t care. He was just happy he could hear those stupid Russian words and do whatever the hell he wanted. At that moment, he wanted to run down and find his boyfriend.

Tony, as usual, was in his workshop. James was let inside and attached himself to Tony’s back, bringing his lips to his neck.

“Am I being attacked?” Tony asked mildly. James laughed and nipped at the skin, just to see Tony jump.

“Not yet,” James said in what he hoped was a sultry tone. Tony shivered, so it must’ve worked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“BARF.”

Tony laughed and James moved back to sit next to him.

“Way to kill the mood, babe. I should really rename it.”

“Nah,” James shrugged. “What’re you working on?”

Tony’s smile turned mischievous. “Bruce told me how well you were doing, so I figured I’d prepare a little something…”

He pulled out something long, thin, and metallic.

“Winter!”

The gun looked the same as before, if a bit cleaned up.

“I thought she was lost in the mission?”

Tony handed Winter to him to look over. “I saw it-her,” he corrected at James’ look, “on the ground and knew you would want her back. She was a little beaten up, but I could fix that no problem.”

James ran his hands over the gun. He would love to spend a few hours taking in her beauty, but at that moment he had a slightly more beautiful boyfriend to thank.

“I love you so much,” he said before he could stop himself. He hadn’t meant to tell Tony this early, but every time he saw the genius it was all that he could think about.

Tony looked like he’d been hit over the head. “Are you talking to the gun or-”

James kissed him quiet. “You, doll. I love you.”

“Oh,” Tony said. “That’s pretty cool, seeing as I love you, too.”

James moved up so he could straddle Tony’s lap, grateful the EMP was gone so there was no more armor in his way.

“Good. I was worried I might just be eye candy or something.”

Tony rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss him, soft and languid. It was the kind of kiss that made his toes curl in his boots, no matter how many Tony gave him.

“So,” Tony said. “Does Winter get to return to your collection?”

James blinked innocently. “What collection?”

“You know,” Tony smirked. “The collection of Stark merch you hide in your closet.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uhuh,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”

“You must be tired,” James said, lifting a hand to press against Tony’s forehead. “I think you need a nap.”

“As much as I would love to go to bed, preferably with you, I have too much work to do.”

James sighed dramatically. “Very well.” He got off Tony’s lap, moving away from his outstretched arms. “I guess I’ll leave then.”

Tony pouted and James dropped the act.

“How about I make you some lunch? Maybe bake cookies?”

“Yes, please,” Tony smiled. “And tea?”

“Always.”

“Good,” Tony opened up a hologram, turning his face blue. “I don’t know what you do, but your tea is always so much better than when Bruce makes it.”

James managed not to choke. “Oh, I just make it with love. No other secret.” He would have to thank Bruce later for not giving him up.

“Thank you, snowflake.”

James pressed a kiss to his head. “Any time, doll.”

Before he left, he caught a glimpse of schematics on Tony’s screen.

“Are you making another suit?”

“Maybe.”

James pushed Tony’s chair over so he could get a better look. It wasn’t a full Iron Man suit. It covered the vital bits, but allowed for more agility. There was also a red star on the left shoulder.

“Is this…?”

“If you want,” Tony said, looking away nervously. “It would give better protection and-”

James kissed Tony again. He wondered how he’d ever be able to stop, when everything Tony did reminded him how much he loved the dumb genius. Finally, though, he managed to pull back.

“I love it. I love you.”

Tony blushed, awkward as ever under the praise. It just made James more determined to compliment him even more. On his genius, sure, but more about him. How sweet he was. How caring. For some reason, the media always ignored those aspects.

James picked up Winter and walked out, pausing to look back at his boyfriend. He knew he loved all things Stark, but he had to admit that he loved Tony a whole lot more.