Chapter Text
When you first woke up, you didn't want to move. The heavy curtains kept the worst of the sunlight out so the room was dim, and everything was perfectly, blissfully silent. Your eyes remained closed, and you curled forward in the warm cocoon of your sheets. For another few moments, nothing happened, and you almost started to doze off once more, but then you heard the shuffle of sheets beside you and felt the shifting of the mattress as the body next to yours moved.
Gazef's lips pressed against the back of your neck, and the coarse hair of his beard just barely brushed your skin, which made you giggle. But he didn't pull away, and his torso settled comfortably against your back, knees curled into the bends of yours.
"Good morning," he said quietly, voice still rough with sleep. You could feel his lips move as he spoke.
You made a sort of sleepy grunt in response. You didn't want to wake up, and you hoped that your husband would take the hint.
His hand swept your side, and you could feel something growing bigger and harder against your ass even though you felt nothing of the sort just a moment before.
"Can you believe that he let us sleep through the night?" Gazef asked. Your son had been colicky for the last week, and it made his volatile sleep schedule even worse, which meant that neither you nor your husband had been getting enough sleep. Unlike the usual royal parents, you had opted to care for the boy yourselves, but you had often left him alone with the nurse or his grandparents during the day so that you could take a nap.
You snorted out a laugh. "I can't believe that you're not letting me sleep now," you grumbled in response.
Gazef laughed, the sound initially loud before he quieted down. Right up against your back, Gazef's torso shook with mirth.
Once again, you grunted and squirmed, which only served to make the hard cock against your ass twitch. "You're awake," he mumbled.
"And I could be falling back asleep if you weren't bothering me," you said.
In response, Gazef made a noncommittal noise.
"Just because you can't sleep doesn't mean that you can't let me sleep," you continued. After a hard life of waking up bright and early, your husband never really got into the habit of sleeping in, but he generally left you alone while you were trying to rest. You supposed that this morning was just a special occasion.
Gazef sighed. "Fine. I'll let you sleep."
But then he started to move away, and the now exposed parts of your back felt cold without him. You mewled and reached out one hand to grab at his night shirt. "I didn't say you could go."
"Oh? Is that so?" Gazef inquired, his body shifting back to where it was.
"Yes. Warm me."
His chest shook once more with laughter, but he didn't say anything else. However, the longer his cock stayed against your ass, the more awake you became anyway. Without saying anything, you reached down and slid a hand between your bodies. How far your hand could move was limited, but you did run your fingers up and down Gazef's shaft.
"I thought you wanted to sleep," he asked, voice quiet and with just a hint of a rumble.
Finally opening your eyes, you looked over your shoulder at him. Though you couldn't quite see Gazef's face, you looked in his direction and said, "Well, it's very hard to sleep when you're poking me."
"I could stop," was his response.
"And I could help you stop."
He laughed again, and his hand wandered down, tugging up your nightgown and slipping that same hand underneath to start groping your skin. Facing forward once more, you moaned and squirmed in Gazef's lap. His big fingers cupped the soft insides of your thighs and gently squeezed the flesh before moving up, up, up to your pussy. Gazef's pointer finger slowly worked your labia lips open with a gentle motion up and down, helped by the copious amount of slick that your body had produced while you were asleep.
You stifled a whimper, somewhat worried about waking your son, who slumbered in the crib past the foot of your bed.
Gazef's lips pressed against your neck again, kissing and nipping the skin before he said, "Don't do that. I want to hear you."
"But. I don't want to wake him," you responded, releasing little whimpers and moans at the feeling of Gazef's fingers sliding along your slit, all the way to the top where your button hid. The motions of his digits grew more insistent as they rubbed along your clit. Your body, oversensitive from not doing anything at all with your husband for the week of your son's distress, jerked against his.
"It should be fine when he's asleep," Gazef said. “He hasn’t woken up any of the other times.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong.
You heard the rustle of movement behind you, and then Gazef’s lips brushed against the top of your left shoulder before he just barely sunk his teeth into your skin. With a whimper, you arched your back, pressing your head onto his shoulder and your hips even tighter against his lap. He rumbled at the stimulation, and the hand between your legs momentarily stopped moving as Gazef bucked against your ass. But then Gazef was back at it, his rough, calloused fingers rubbing circles around your sensitive button. You mewled in response, squirming against his front.
While you enjoyed the steady pressure against your clit, you wanted more.
“Gazef,” you moaned. When he didn’t react, you looked over your shoulder to find his eyes closed in concentration. But your movement against his body had Gazef looking at you.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
You shook your head. “Nothing’s wrong.” You breathed out hard as Gazef rubbed your clit just the tiniest bit harder. Collecting your thoughts, you said, “I just want more. I want to feel you inside me.”
In response, Gazef made a small noise, but then his chest started to shake. “So eager,” he teased. “I just started touching you.”
Furrowing your brow, you looked up at his face. You immediately wanted to argue with his assessment—to tell him that the constant gaps in your sex life made you want as much as possible when you could get it—but you also recognized that you were eager. Before you could speak, Gazef leaned closer and pressed a kiss to the side of your head, and his fingers slipped from your clit down to your hole. You were already rather wet, and you didn’t know if it was from playing or from just waking. There were many mornings when you awoke soaked for no apparent reason. However, Gazef insisted on being a tease. His big fingers circled the place you wanted them most, and you huffed out a frustrated noise before he laughed again and then finally pushed inside.
Immediately, your walls clenched around the thick intrusion. Even just a week apart had been enough for your body to grow unused to the way Gazef stretched you with his fingers and his cock.
You gave him a loud moan for his efforts.
Right up against your back, Gazef rumbled deep in his chest.
“Such pretty noises,” he whispered, lips dragging against the shell of your ear as he began to slowly pull out and then push back in.
Gazef steadily worked your pussy open while his cock twitched against your ass. You rubbed and squirmed against him until he was huffing in frustration alongside your desperate noises, but he didn’t stop you from moving even though he easily could have. And you definitely enjoyed the feeling of his big fingers moving in and out of you. By the time that Gazef pulled his digits from your depths, you needed more. You were impatient even while you quietly waited for him to remove his clothing, and you moaned out loud once again as Gazef returned his body to its earlier position and lined his cock up with your hole. The head pressed against you for just a moment before Gazef thrust inside.
There was a world of difference between his fingers and the stretch of his cock, and you arched at the feeling of being so thoroughly full.
Behind you, your husband slowly pulled back to suddenly thrust inside, and you gasped at the feeling. From that moment, Gazef didn’t dally. His hips moved quickly, cock pumping in and out of you at the usual, fast pace that had you begging for more and your walls clenching hard around him. Gazef’s left hand moved back to your clit, his fingers much more insistent this time around as he fucked into you. Everything he did felt too good—in fact, Gazef was too good at getting your body to respond after more than a year of a mostly happy and certainly very active marriage. He knew all your weak spots, your preferred pace, and your favorite positions. He had fucked you silly up against a wall, your hands ruining the lapels of his jacket from how hard you were holding them; he had taken you bent over his desk more times than you could count; and he had filled you with cum from behind, his hard torso flush against your overheating skin.
All those sweet memories flitted right behind closed eyelids as the slap of his hips against your ass grew louder, and your body warmed and muscles tightened from the stimulation.
Gazef shifted behind you, lifting his upper body to lean on his elbow, and that hand slid up your shoulder blade to the crook of your neck before pulling your upper body towards his. Your back was arched from the position, but you just leaned your head further back to press against his chest. Then Gazef’s hand moved further down, past your shoulder to grab at the closer breast. His fingers gently closed around the nipple to roll it between the pads of his fingers.
The change in angle had his cock pressing more insistently against the front of your belly, and the slower rolls of his hips felt like they were deeper than before, especially when he was balls deep inside you with his front tight against your ass. The new pace came with the more insistent ministration of his fingers against your clit, and your walls jumped and clenched around Gazef’s cock at the feeling.
When he pulled out, you followed him with your body, greedily searching for more pleasure. You couldn't stand being empty, not when it had been so long since the last time. A small whimper passed your lips, and Gazef leaned forward—his hips slowing down without the space required for such passionate thrusts—to press a kiss to your jaw. You turned your head to give him access to your lips, and the two of you moved your lips together while he slowly pushed his cock inside you and then just as torturously pulled out. Your mouths broke apart, and Gazef moved the hand he had used to toy with your clit to the other side of your thigh, pushing your leg up and opening you up to him more.
Behind you, he shifted down to adjust for the new angle, his hips almost perpendicular to your ass, and then Gazef resumed the harder movements from earlier. He pumped into you faster and moved his fingers against your button with purpose.
You were breathing hard, overwhelmed by the pleasure, your abdomen filling with that familiar sensation of heat and need.
And then the tightness of your muscles morphed into more. You moaned out loud at the rush of slick and the feeling of your walls pulsing and clenching around Gazef’s hot, thick cock. All the while, his fingers and cock continued to move as you came, but your husband quickly succumbed to the pleasure your orgasm brought him. With a choked noise, Gazef stilled his hips tight against your ass, and you could feel the twitch of his dick deep inside you.
When your body finally relaxed, and Gazef slumped against you, you found that your eyes drifted closed. You were vaguely aware as your husband pulled out, but sleep quickly claimed you once more.
*
You woke again an hour or two later, only this time to the sound of your son, Savin, crying and wiggling in Gazef's arms even as his father tried to walk up and down the room with him.
Despite still being groggy from the blessed nap you took, you sat up in your bed—rearranging your pillows behind your back—and indicated with your hand that Gazef should come closer.
“He’s hungry. Give him here,” you said.
Gazef looked at you, apparently surprised to see you awake, but the last months of motherhood had meant that you often needed to wake up at a moments' notice and attend to a screaming baby. As your husband approached with the purpose of handing the boy over to you, you unbuttoned the front of your nightgown to quickly abate his cries. You recognized the type of cry he was making: your son was hungry. Never one to be idle, Gazef helped you get comfortable, grabbing one of his pillows to place under Savin so you wouldn't need to support his weight with your arms the entire time.
Relative silence now filled the room. Savin was very much awake, loudly working his jaws as he ate and occasionally shaking the arm not against you, or kicking out his feet. His brown eyes were wide as he looked around the room. The two of them must have been awake for some time before Savin could no longer wait for his meal.
Sitting perched on the edge of the bed next to you with his hand on the other side of your knees, Gazef sighed.
You looked up to him. "What's wrong?" you asked.
"I don't think Savin likes me very much," he said.
You gave him a little laugh of surprise. It was strange to hear that someone didn't like Gazef in the first place, but the suggestion that your infant was that person was even more bizarre.
Your response only made the frown on Gazef's lips deepen, etching into his cheeks with more intensity than before. Instead of responding, he looked back down at your son and raised a hand to gently take hold of a tiny foot.
"Why do you think so?" you prompted after another few moments of silence.
Once more, Gazef sighed. "He's never happy with me. The second I gave him to you, he quieted down."
Raising a brow, you considered your husband's first statement. You never noticed that Savin cried any more than usual when Gazef held him. "He was hungry," you finally said. "He's quiet now because he's eating."
"Well. Yes. This time. But there have been plenty of times where he didn't want to be with me," he responded.
"I don't think that's true," you said.
Savin paused in his insistent gnawing to huff out a hard breath and kick out his legs again, which led to Gazef letting go of the foot he was holding.
"See? He doesn't want me to touch him." As Gazef spoke, he didn't look at you. Instead, his eyes were entirely focused on the boy in your arms as he resumed his breakfast—not that you would really call the meager five hours he allowed you to rest since you last fed him to be that long of a fast.
"I promise you that it's just a coincidence," you said. "He's often alert and active, even when he's eating."
While you spoke, Gazef looked up at you, but he dropped his eyes once more. He was quiet. Then he reached up to brush along the thin, dark hair atop your son's head. Savin stopped eating for long enough to laugh and grin at the action. He grabbed at Gazef's sleeve a few times before your husband moved his arm closer so Savin's tiny arm didn't have to extend so far. Once Savin was able to grab on, he tugged on the fabric a few times in what appeared, for all intents and purposes, to be a very self-satisfied way. Or maybe you were just projecting.
"See? He doesn't dislike you," you said with a smile, directing your eyes back up to your husband.
Gazef allowed the corners of his mouth to tug up and then looked up at you. "I suppose not," he responded.
"Where did you even get that idea?" you asked.
"I don't spend enough time with him," Gazef said, a sigh punctuating the statement. His response was immediate. Clearly, he had been thinking about the matter quite a lot.
For a little while, you said nothing because he was right. Gazef, still very much the king, had to attend to his duties every day despite the birth of your son. Your diplomacy work with Lord Raeven had been mostly put on hold except for the odd letter that he would have you write to other monarchs, nobles, or merchants, but Gazef had other duties that could not be ignored despite his desire to spend more time with you and Savin. Even though he tried his best to help you, Gazef simply was not available during the day. He did cut down on the number of meetings he attended—much to the surprise of the men who comprised his advisors—but there was still plenty of work to do, especially since the Re-estize empire was still not entirely healed from the damage that your uncle had done. Ultimately, Gazef was the king. And kings did not raise their own children.
You pressed your lips together as you looked at Savin: his chubby cheeks, his tan skin, his brown eyes, and his dark hair. The little princeling looked so much like his father that you wondered if anything of yours had been passed along.
Gazef said your name, and you realized that you had been silent for longer than you were intending. "Sorry," you said, focusing on his face once more.
With a frown, Gazef said, "So, you agree?"
You tried to determine what he could be referencing. Your confusion must have shown on your face because Gazef opened his mouth once more.
"With the fact that I don't spend enough time with him," he added.
Pressing your lips together, you hesitated before you nodded.
Your husband sighed.
"Did you want me to lie?" you asked carefully. You didn't want Gazef to think that you were blaming him for his absence.
Savin started fussing again. His little brows furrowed, and he wriggled again in your arms. However, he did not seem as happy as he had been before, judging by the huff he made as he looked between the two of you. You wondered how much of the conversation he understood. Perhaps Savin didn't actually know what you were saying, but he seemed to grasp the essence of the exchange just fine.
"No," Gazef said. Lifting his hand once more, Gazef rubbed Savin's chubby, little cheek as the left corner of his mouth tugged up. A few moments passed while he simply watched Savin's jaw work. "I'm sorry," he finally spoke. Gazef leaned forward to press a kiss to Savin's forehead and then your cheek.
"It's okay," you said.
"I just feel bad," he admitted.
"I know."
The two of you exchanged another look, and you tried to appear as non-judgemental as possible.
"Do you," Gazef paused, his lips pressed together and eyes slightly squinted. He seemed to be struggling to find a word that adequately expressed his sentiment. "Resent. Me. For not being as involved as I would prefer?" Every word that made its way out of his mouth seemed to cause him pain with the way that he grimaced with each pause.
You shook your head. "I don't."
At your admission, Gazef's shoulders slumped, but he didn't look any happier. Truly, he looked like he felt even worse. "Why not?" he asked, mouth barely moving as he made the sounds.
"Because I know that you're busy."
But your words didn't make him any happier. As you spoke, Gazef's eyes shut tight and then opened slowly.
"It's not like I don't have any help. Your parents and the nurse are around. Shalltear also comes around often and helps me, or distracts me. And you hover and fuss as much as humanly possible when you're not busy."
"You're right," he said with a shake of his head. "I just wish that I could put all these matters on hold for the time being and attend to them later."
"And how long would this break be?"
Gazef considered your question with a little smile. "A year."
You laughed. "Somehow, I don't think that's a good idea."
Joining in on your laughter, he said, "I don't know what could possibly go wrong."
With a shake of your head, you looked down to Savin, who decided to join in on the mirth with a boisterous laugh of his own. Gazef rubbed Savin's belly, his hand big enough to almost cover the infant's torso.
"See? He thinks it's a good idea," Gazef said. His voice changed into more of the baby talk as he addressed your child directly. "Don't you?"
When Savin finished with his breakfast, Gazef placed a folded piece of fabric on his shoulder and took the boy to burp him. He always insisted on helping, in his words, "at least that much." Meanwhile, you stood up from the bed to stretch your back and legs. Soon, your ladies-in-waiting would arrive to dress you for the day, but you took the time to wander into your closet and consider the options in your wardrobe. You almost immediately settled on a soft, green dress that evoked all the lushness of summer that the Re-estize was currently experiencing and made of a light, breathable fabric.
It was also brand new so you just had to show it off.
*
Shalltear sat on one side of you while Rena and Shalltear's mother were across the rectangular table. The three women got along even better than you had hoped, and you were pleased to spend your time with them, especially without any other undesirable company. Ever since you had given birth, you had been very careful about the company you kept, and you simply had no patience for the sycophants. However, you knew that you couldn't entirely cut them out of your life so you did allow them to visit on the odd occasion. Very few people had actually seen their prince up close, and you intended to keep it that way.
The four of you had been enjoying lunch and each other's company for almost an hour now, and Savin was currently seated in his grandmother's lap. Rena had pushed her chair back from the table so he couldn't reach anything he shouldn't be touching, and she held his torso up with one hand while she held out the pointer finger of her other hand so he could grasp it. As usual, he was terribly pleased to be receiving so much attention—particularly from women—and Savin was happily babbling at Lady Bloodfallen as she chatted with Rena. They did, however, make sure to include him, pausing and nodding whenever he 'spoke’ up.
"You're a terribly good queen," Shalltear joked.
"And why is that?" you raised your brow as you responded.
"Because you gave the people an heir on your first try," she said sweetly. Her chin dipped towards her chest to flutter her eyelashes at you in her approximation of an innocent facade.
Widening your eyes, you asked, "Oh? You don't begrudge the king a son?"
"Why in the world would I ever do that?'
You shrugged. "You seem very firm in your insistence that your father can produce no boys."
"Because any boy my father has a hand in would be rotten to the core," Shalltear said very seriously. "Besides. He is incapable." She leaned closer, the fabric of her dress rustling with the movement, and dropped her already quiet voice lower. "Even his bastard is a girl."
You nodded, thinking back to Arabella. Though you would never have guessed that she and Shalltear were sisters, her existence did appear to prove Shalltear's theory.
"Gazef, however, is a good man. Savin is a nice, polite boy," Shalltear said much louder, looking over to the new topic of conversation as she spoke.
Lady Bloodfallen nodded at her daughter's statement. "He's an angel," she confirmed with a look toward you.
Their insistence on the perfection of the princeling had you chuckling. "You wouldn't say that if you had to deal with him last week."
Reminded of your travails with a colickly baby, you shut your eyes for just a moment or two longer than a normal blink. You were still very tired, and you longed for a nap even though you enjoyed actually spending time with people. Perhaps you would take one along with Savin once you were done with tea.
Rena rubbed his belly absentmindedly and shrugged. "It was a little rough. I'll admit as much."
You had handed him off to his grandparents for a night after the first few days of torture. Neither you nor Gazef had slept properly in seventy-two hours, and you were reminded of the initial weeks after the birth.
Annoyed that he was being ignored, Savin squawked and kicked out his feet. Four pairs of eyes instantly turned to him, and he grinned impishly before squirming in Rena's lap and reaching for you. Your mother-in-law moved to offer you the boy, and you took him in your arms. But he no longer wanted to sit, and you stood him up in your lap. You could feel his little feet unsteadily press into your thighs and shift as bent and straightened his knees.
At that moment, the door opened, and you looked over to see Gazef with Brain trailing behind him. Everyone at the table, except for Rena, politely inclined their heads in greeting since Gazef had insisted that the people closest to him absolutely did not need to curtsy or bow to him in private.
"Your majesty," Lady Bloodfallen was the first to speak. "It's a pleasure to see you today."
"And you, as well," he responded with a smile. As he walked further into the room, the servants who had been standing towards the corners of the room readied two more places. Gazef kissed the top of your head and then also Savin's before sitting down beside you at the head of the table.
"Hello dear," you said.
Gazef smiled at you. "Good afternoon."
You turned your attention to the other visitor. "Hello Brain."
He nodded and said, "Hello." Your uneasy truce with the man had grown more comfortable over the last year and a half. One could even say that you were very slowly becoming friends.
"I'm sorry that we are late. My meeting with the advisors ran a little long," Gazef said. Reaching a hand for Savin, he rubbed the back of the boy's head.
Rena shook her head in mock disapproval and tutted. "You'll teach your son bad manners with these poor examples of yours."
In response, Gazef just blinked at his mother and sighed. "I apologize from the bottom of my heart."
Lady Bloodfallen giggled behind her hand.
Very quickly, Gazef turned to her, instead. One could be forgiven for thinking that he wished to avoid any more barbs from his mother. "Your husband said that he intends to wait for you and Shalltear in the carriage."
"Then wait he shall," Shalltear said firmly.
Though Lady Bloodfallen did not say anything in response, the little smile on her mouth told you that she agreed fully with her daughter. You wondered how she had reacted to the knowledge of Arabella. Perhaps the news hadn't come entirely as a surprise: she might have known about her husband's indiscretions from before he asked for her hand.
With a frown, Gazef looked around the table before turning back to Rena. "Where did dad go?" he asked as he picked up a spoonful of soup.
Rena sighed. "The old man decided that we've been ignoring the farm for long enough even though we decided on a plan for the summer back in winter." Leaning against the back of her chair, she propped her elbow up on the arm and waved her hand back and forth. "So he went back home to check on the farm and the town, make sure everyone's doing well."
At her explanation, Gazef nodded. "He has the right idea."
While they spoke, Savin decided that he was very interested in your necklace, and he closed a hand around the chain to just lift it up and down. His actions weren't too abrupt so you weren't worried that he was going to break it. As Savin played with your necklace, he realized that the chain ended in a emerald pendant in the shape of an oval, and he grabbed it with his other hand to observe it more closely.
Gazef just barely finished his lunch before your son started to grow bored and tired—and likely a little hungry—and started fidget and cry, grabbing at your bodice and tugging.
You agreed with his timing. The three of you were overdue for a nap.
After making your excuses and saying your goodbyes, you and Gazef headed to your bedroom, which was at the end of a collection of rooms, including a few sitting rooms and an office. Your husband had offered to carry Savin, and you glanced at them from the corner of your eye every so often as you made the short walk over. After the latest look in their direction, Gazef noticed and gave you a small smile, and you couldn't help but reciprocate. Not for the first time, you thought about how happy you were with him, how happy your little family made you. Because all you had known for the length of your childhood was life with your mother, you hadn't thought that you would find peace and joy in a marriage of which she had approved, but you also hadn't expected to marry a man like Gazef. You hadn't expected to love his parents as much as you do or find a place in Shalltear's family the way you did.
Leaning against Gazef's side, you looked up to his face to find that he was already starting at you.
"Is something wrong?" he asked. "You're very quiet."
You shrugged. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking."
"Well it must be something serious if you look the way you do," Gazef said, very not-casually pushing you to tell him.
With a laugh, you shook your head. "Nothing serious. I'm just thinking about how much I love you."
At your words, Gazef's lips stretched into a lop-sided grin. "Well, I love you, too." He stopped walking to lean towards you and give you a kiss. However, the lack of movement resulted in your son fussing once more. He grunted and wriggled in Gazef's arms.
You laughed and reached for a little hand. "I love you, too, Savin."
"And so do I," Gazef added and kissed Savin's forehead.
Once you were in your bedroom, you found that you could relax fully. It was a stark contrast to the way you were before when you were still living in your childhood home. Though you thought that you relaxed when you were alone, it took moving out to discover just how stressed you always had been, how scared you were for what was to come. Despite being in a similar position of constant scrutiny and judgement, you felt much more comfortable in your role as queen, and you knew it was because of the people around you. You never had the support at you needed at home. You would likely never have any sort of relationship with your biological mother—she hadn't bothered to reach out even a little since that time in the Bloodfallen estate almost two years ago—but you knew now that you didn't need her.
You were perfectly happy just as you were.