Archive of Our Own ^beta

What a nightmare.

This was Ainissesthai’s first thought as she turned away from the sunset, facing east towards the greater sea, and looked down the slopes to the inlet below. The air glittered; she could see hundreds of thousands of beautiful crystalline shards twisting gently, suspended elegantly from the valley floor up as far as she could see, unaffected by the breeze.

“The Sliver Vale,” Ainissesthai murmured, because clearly nobody else was going to say anything. She doubted any of these dragons had ever been here before, save maybe the one from the Arcanist’s rabble, but even he seemed taken aback by what he saw, amazed.

Ainissesthai looked over. “Ambrose,” she said, feeling her throat constrict with fear, “you didn’t say we’d come out here.”  You said nothing about this. Why didn’t you warn me? Why did you bring us this way?!

Ambrose looked back to her, eyes wide. "Ainissesthai, I'm so sorry."

"This fucking place? Are you serious? Here?"

“Do you have some sort of negative relationship with the arcane flight?” asked a soft, concerned voice next to Aini. “Should we hide you while we’re here?” It belonged to Sunsong, one of the skydancer's they'd picked up back in Greenstone. She was something called a 'star-seer,' or so she claimed, and while Aini hadn't believed it at first, she was starting to change her opinion. Sunsong had read the words of a dead nocturne back in the Contagion and saved them all.

Ainissesthai opened her mouth to respond and paused, freezing in place - deep in her chest, another pang of pain, from part of Ambrose’s enchantment not quite working as planned and not cushioning the shards enough. She hissed under her breath and realized Sunsong was still waiting for an answer. “No. That’s not it,” she managed.  How can I explain to them?  “It - this place is a fucking death trap. It’s hell.”

"Oh,” Sunsong said, visibly wilting. “Must we go that way?"

You don’t see. Not yet. Hopefully not ever.

“What is it?” another dragon murmured. The mirror girl, Asha. For once, she didn’t look like she wanted to kill the nearest enemy, ally, or other. The shards were reflected in her eyes.  Don’t go any closer.  “It looks like frost, but it’s not cold.”

"Death trap? What's so dangerous about this place, anyway?" Cedero, the violeteye with hardly a spark of magic to call his own.

Ainissesthai opened her mouth to answer - answer what, she wasn’t sure. She was interrupted as Thanatos stepped forward, eyes narrowed. “Longnecks!” he suddenly shouted, half-raising his wings. “In the Vale!” His feathers fluffed up, and Ainissesthai caught a snarl on his long, elegant face. She looked down into the Vale - sure enough, she could spot the small forms of several longnecks moving slowly and carefully down the slope, hauling something with them.

Asha raised her wings and prepared to run. Cedero stepped forward, one of the other dragons - Malvelde - took a few long strides. “NO!” Ainissesthai shrieked, panic surging in her throat. “Don’t follow them!” Her own wings were clamped tightly to her sides. “You cannot fly in the Vale. You’ll die!”

“She’s right,” Ambrose said. “Don’t go after them. For your own good.”

"If you don't tell me why, I shall be forced to investigate myself," Cedero grumbled, easing his wings shut again.

Ainissesthai flicked her frills back and stabbed a claw upwards, towards the crystals.

“Those do not move easily. They are beyond sharp, and they shatter into smaller shards at a feather’s touch. Once they’re inside your body, they are impossible to remove because they just break and make the problem worse. They will slice you to shreds if you try to fly through them.”

Ambrose nodded fervently. “It is exceedingly painful, and once you have a single shard within you, it will never stop wounding you and it will never go away.”

The dragons looked to her, then back to the shards, clearly reevaluating. Ambrose turned her face down and away, closing her eyes; she looked possibly regretful. Ainissesthai mentally relented on her - it wasn’t her fault the longnecks had taken this route. It wasn’t her fault it was - 

Sunsong leaned on her staff. “Hmm. Then we’ll have to follow them the slow way, won’t we? Well, we’ve been doing that all along anyway, and we’re closer than ever.” She shrugged. “We don’t have much of a choice. We do have to follow them. You can use me as a perch if you want, Ainissesthai. It’ll all be okay.”

That's easy for you to say. You've never... you've tried before.

“That sounds like it hurts,” someone said flatly, from the group of dragons.

At the same time, Asha glanced over, practically bouncing in place with contained energy. “Is running beneath them okay?”

“Absolutely not,” Ambrose said. “I believe they go all the way to the ground, in most cases.”

“Yeah.” Ainissesthai tried to keep her expression blank. It wasn't like most dragons could understand her anyway, but still. “You can move through the Vale but you have to go really slowly. The slivers fill the valley from the ground up to the damn edge of the atmosphere.” I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this.

“Oh…” the mirror’s fins drooped, and she sat down, enthusiasm leaving her entirely. “Well… maybe if anyone’s an earth-mover, they can dig a tunnel? It’d take a while though.”

Cedero folded his wings all the way and glowered at the Vale.

Sunsong looked at Ainissesthai carefully. “Do… you need to be carried through this?” she asked, hesitantly. “The way you’re speaking makes it sound as though you know it from experience, and I wouldn’t want you to go through something terrible again. I might be able to offer enough protection to keep you from coming into contact with the slivers.”

Aini blinked. That's... surprisingly thoughtful. Well, maybe it's not a surprise. She's nice. But she's probably just - fuck, I need to be carried. I can't do this. She didn't get a chance to answer then.

“Ideally, no one comes into contact with the slivers,” Ambrose muttered, “or I have a lot more work on my plate.”

Thanatos also shut his wings with a sigh. “So close, yet so far, eh? Still, I’d rather we don’t receive any more life-threatening injuries if it can be helped.” He glanced at the group. “Perhaps we should make camp here? It would be a simple matter to track them down again, their trail so close. I don’t think it would be wise to rush into confrontation while we’re all still recovering.”

He was right, of course. Ainissesthai shifted, wincing again. Occasionally the shards poked through her skin and bloodied her bandages; right now they were all contained within her torso, cushioned by Ambrose’s magic, prevented from killing her outright. They’d hurt her enough as it was when she was healthy; she didn’t want an injured dragon stumbling into them on accident. “Yeah,” she muttered in agreement.

The longnecks were indeed moving at an absolute snail’s pace down the Vale. They’d probably been at it for a couple days, making camp as they went, inching along and trying to avoid being stabbed.

Lady Ambrose moved backwards, away from the edge of the Vale. "We'll rest," she agreed, nodding to Thanatos. "We all need it. Tomorrow we can figure out how to get through."

Cedero glanced over at Ainissesthai, still silent. To have crystals stuck in one’s body ‘forever’ was, to put it lightly, not good. Dragons in the Isles had been known to suffer all sorts of horrible conditions due to magical crystals. Most of them led to organ failure or death.

Ainissesthai had hunkered back down in her ordinary position, sitting in the dust and dry grass. “...forever,” she murmured, almost too quietly to hear.

Sunsong stepped up beside her. “...is there anything I can do for you?” she asked, cautiously. “Anything that could help?”

“No. I’ve tried too much already.” The fae’s frills went flat, then quirked into the ‘oops’ position. “Sorry. But if you try to remove them, they just break into smaller pieces. The last thing I need is more of them.” Oh. That was too much information. I shouldn't have said that.

“So you do have, um…” Sunsong gestured at the Vale.

Ainissesthai nodded.

Cedero looked thoughtful. “Ainissesthai,” he said, moving over. “I can ask our surgeon to look at that for you. No promises, but if the crystals truly are magical, maybe he can do something? Or, we can do something… I mean, he has seen similar cases before. Crystals literally growing inside dragons, puncturing their organs. It happens.”

You don't get it! It's not the same! “I am,” Ainissesthai hissed, “well fucking aware of what they can and do do to me. My intention is to carry on until they kill me. I have no idea when that is. I hope it’s later rather than sooner. But, hell, if you really think your surgeon may have some kinda knowledge that the doctors of Mirrorlight don’t have, then sure, that would be super of you.”

“He might. He is from the Starfall Isles, too. He should be able to sense the magic, even if the shards are too small to see. He’s… Hm. Honest about his work.” He smiled, thinking of his clan, some distance to the south. He didn't even take offense. Shit. I'm too mean to these people.

“I can also ask the healers and such of my clan, if you want,” Sunsong agreed, loafing in the grass next to Aini. “I don’t… really think we would know what to do, but it’s worth a shot. I’d like to help you, if I could.” She stayed a short distance away. Probably doesn't wanna catch the shards. Not that that can happen, with Ambrose's doohickey magic, but people believe all sorts of stupid shit. She held still again as another flicker of pain flashed through her body. That was constant - she always felt them, even with Ambrose’s enchantments. The wildclaw’s magic wasn’t perfect, and while it healed as much as it could, it couldn’t remove the literal razors floating around in Ainissesthai’s lungs and organs. She paused, trying to formulate an answer.

When she was able to speak again, she shrugged. “Again, if you guys really think your people can help, then sure. I’d, uh. Appreciate. Visiting him. Maybe when this is over.” She ran a grass seed-head between her claws meditatively.

For a time they entertained themselves watching Thanatos tease Nokk, who was reduced to wailing for mercy and trying to escape his relentless teasing. That was amusing, at least, though Ainissesthai privately wished her friend could just be direct and get it over with - the ridgeback was clearly a mess for her, and Ambrose wasn’t exactly turning the attention down. “Definitely true,” Ainissesthai said, rolling her eyes. “Go do things. Godssakes.”

Sunsong couldn’t help but giggle. “It is funny, truly. I agree - you should just do things. Don’t be afraid! There’s only so much time you have in this world.” She gave Aini a long look. Yeah. Probably going "because that one doesn't have a whole lot of time left" in her head. I know what you're thinking.

Sunsong blinked. She looked sad.

Timekeeper spoke up. That strange, somewhat unnatural voice - buzzing around the edges, the tones all exactly alike - was unmistakable. His expression was displeased and fierce. “Well, Master Guide, perhaps I may be of use in furthering our cause if you are so dismayed by harmless tomfoolery. Would these crystals in the Vale have much of a negative effect on someone of my, er, composition?” He tipped his head to the side, eyes glinting, a gently glowing light green.

What? Coming over here with a bone to pick for some reason. Oh, wait.

Aini blinked. “Oh. Right. You’re a coatl. I’ll be clearer for you: Ambrose is my friend and I’m making fun of her. Don’t sass me.” She shuffled her wings. “The shards are sharp. They get through armor, flesh. Bone. They’ll probably get through metal just the same. I super don’t recommend testing that. Or do, I guess, I can’t stop you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He thinks he's immune. They will stab him if he tries to move through them just like they would anyone else. Slowly is the only way.

Sunsong’s humor faded. “They sound awful,” she said, crests going flat against her skull.

Aini pressed her wings closer against her sides. “They are,” she muttered. “I got lucky.” She flinched just at the memory and put her head down, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Oh, well, that’s no fun,” Timekeeper commented, glancing back towards the Vale, now bathed in darkness. Starlight glittered on the distant ocean and the turning crystals. The light of the captured sprite flickered down below. “But if it’s just a bit of pain, it’s likely far easier to remove them from me than anyone else here. And besides - I’m a bit stronger than metal in that sense. It would take quite a bit of force to get past being stuck in kevlar and acrylic plating. But if you insist…” he flopped to the ground with a huff and turned his attention back to Thanatos and Nokk.

I have no idea what he’s talking about, but for fuck’s sake, it’s not ‘just a bit of pain.’ Why isn’t anyone taking this seriously?

Aini didn’t answer him, just tucked her tail against her side. Sunsong reached out a paw. “Are you alright?”

“No,” Aini said, flatly.

Sunsong placed her paw on the ground. “If you need anything… well, I know Ambrose is your friend, but I’d like to be too.”

“Don’t pity me.”

“I can’t help it,” Sunsong said. “I’d pity anyone in your position. But that doesn’t mean I don’t respect you.”

Aini glanced over, yellow eyes glinting in the dark. Not what I thought she'd say. “...fine,” she muttered. “I guess that works.” She turned her head and stared out at the dark.

Timekeeper left them, no longer gaining new information from the conversation. The camp faded into mutterings and the crackle of fire behind them. The sound blurred, into white noise. Aini remembered being picked up and put near the fire, but didn't remember anything else from that night; when she woke, it was morning. Early morning. The sun had barely risen.

She glanced around. I'll be back. Nobody worry about me while I'm gone. That was laughable. Nobody would. Well, maybe Ambrose.

She stood, shook her wings out, and picked up her battle claws, re-fastening them to her wrists and hands. She retracted the actual blades and flapped a few times, then fluttered away from the campsite, darting through the air to a higher rock formation that overlooked both their makeshift camp and the Vale.

The Vale.

Ainissesthai had to come to terms with this damn place before she tried to go through it. And she would visit the cache here to see if there was anything she could use before they all went in - it had been left over, and she’d never come back for it, and she didn’t remember what was in it. But there might be something useful.

They. They all. She dug her claws into the stone and pressed her body flat against it, wincing at the pain in her chest. The pain told her she was alive, that she could feel, that she had been through something and survived it.

Unlike the others.

“It won’t be that hard, not at all. We’re so small, even if we slip, we’ll go between the shards.”

Ainissesthai felt mudstone crumble under her claws.

“He’s right. I’m a little bigger, but it’ll still be alright.”

She shut her eyes.

“A little! You’re the size of my lair-mound!”

“Idiots,” Ainissesthai hissed. “Fools.”

“We’ll be fine. We’ll go slow, take it easy, keep our footholds in the slopes. They aren’t that steep, and we have picks and extensions. It’s the fastest way to the coast, and then we can go south, to Kylibdon. Someone there will know about -”

Maybe trying to get over it before being subjected to it again later today wasn’t such a good idea. Ainissesthai turned abruptly, cracking her tail into a chunk of stone, and leaped off the end of it, into a small half-crystal canyon. If she remembered correctly, they’d stashed their stuff amongst the stones a little ways in…

It took only a few minutes for her to locate the old campsite; she remembered it better than she wanted to. There were Sunrunner’s artifacts he’d left behind, and Harmonium’s old blanket and tools, and a little bag she had from herself, made of burlap.

She took that, without stopping, and winged it back towards the camp. Maybe she should drive the thoughts away. Maybe she should -

“Ainissesthai! Where have you been?” Ambrose’s voice. Ainissesthai spared the wildclaw a half a glance and flew past.

“Nowhere.” Ainissesthai fluttered back over to Atropos. With her were Hyann and Thanatos; it seemed that they, on board a large, flat floating stone, would be attempting to make it through the Vale together. She flung the bag onto the ground with a clanking sound. “I have this.”

“Where did you get that? What is it?” Hyann immediately dropped what she was doing with the stone, ignoring a “hey!” from Thanatos, and trotted over, eyes wide. She opened the sack and pulled it out - inside was a shiny gauntlet, silver and gold and green, far too large for Ainissesthai’s miniscule hands.

“It shoots air,” Ainissesthai said, refusing to answer the question. Hyann wouldn’t question it, probably. “To the sides. To steer. Someone else operate it. It’s too big for me.” She shut her mouth. Could everyone  tell  that she was only stopping herself from shaking via sheer willpower alone?

“Oh, wonderful! We needed that,” Hyann said, beaming. “Thank you so much!”

“Sure.” Ainissesthai left the bag and the glove where they were and fluttered up to the stone, settling down on it and pulling her wings in close. She felt sick.

The rock swayed slightly as someone else climbed up onto it; the darkness of the feathers that cast a shadow over Ainissesthai’s form told her it was Sunsong. “Do you have a moment?” the skydancer said, voice gentle.

“I’m not moving.”

“That's fine.” She sank to the stone beside Ainissesthai, folding her wings in neatly. "I'm not going to ask where you found that artifact, but I am going to ask you to be more careful.”

What? Why? “Oh, what? Am I not allowed to fly now?” Ainissesthai snapped back.

Sunsong sighed. "It isn't - I'm not going to ask you not to fly, I just wish you'd alert me or another person before you go, in case you don't return on time. We could go after you and help you. You needn't do everything alone."

You don’t control where I go or what I do. Ainissesthai narrowed her eyes, glaring at the rock in front of her. “You know, I’m fine. I can handle myself. I appreciate the offer, but I’m not going to die any time I step out of sight of everyone else.”

Except she would. If she left Lady Ambrose for too long, her magic would fade, and the shards would slice her to pieces from the inside. True, it would take a few months, but…

She hated it. She hated it all. She tucked her feet under her chest and wrapped her tail around herself, folding her neck into a flattened S-shape and flicking her hood lower over her face.

"Hey... it's alright," Sunsong said, and Aini hated how genuine she sounded. "I understand wanting independence, but being shackled by something like this is nothing to be ashamed of." Sunsong tipped her head ever so slightly to the side, as if listening to something only she could hear. Or… feeling. Damn it, skydancers can read your mind. Emotions. Whatever. Curses! She wasn’t finished speaking. "You can talk to me, you know. Bearing pain by yourself makes it worse. Please, let yourself heal, if for nothing else than the sake of whoever you lost out there, and everything you already lost for yourself."

Aini's stomach lurched. “Trust me, I know it’s horrible,” she growled. “But unfortunately, I don’t just get to throw away pain like it’s magic. I can’t do that. And you don’t get to do that with memories, either.” She stopped short, pulling her wings in even tighter. Could she huddle up any more? Probably not. She glared at the stone; the carapace of her eyelids pressing against her eyes was enough to cause little sparks of light and darkness in her vision.

Sunsong looked her over for a moment. "You don't have to suffer alone," she finally said. "If no one else is with you, you can tell me what's on your mind. I might not understand it, fully, but I've seen a lot of things in my time. A lot of lives, beginning to end. And whatever you tell me, I won't forget. At least this way someone else can remember them too. Isn't that better, Ainissesthai?"

The way Sunsong said her full name made Aini shiver; it wasn't anything special, and that's what got her about it. It just sounded like it existed. It sounded like a name recognized as something that had meaning. She swallowed nervously.

“Aini, come on, it’s the fastest way. Besides, we gotta tell someone! We can’t be the only ones who know about it. If we are, what’s that make us, huh? The Oculus isn’t aware of anything but the two that were uncovered. So we have to…”

“What do you want from me?” she said, and this time she really tried to keep all venom out of her voice. It crept in when she didn’t want it to, like blotchy mold, or water into a library. But she could hold it at bay, when she needed to. When she wanted to prove she wanted to comply, somehow. When she wanted to ask for help, not do it herself.

"I just want to help." Sunsong curled her tail around both of them; sound from the outside seemed muted. Magic, probably. Always magic. "You're hurting, and I don't mean that physically. I mean that your spirit hurts too. I can't help you with the pain in your body, but I can try to aid you with the pain in your heart." She paused. "The non-physical heart. The metaphorical heart."

Clattering sounds as the other dragons woke.

A stab in her chest; she sucked in a breath for a moment, eyes going to slits, and let it out slowly. “I think it means talk? You want me to talk?”

A shriek, tumbling scales and frills, and no last words. They couldn’t run to him when he fell, because they would have died, and Harmonium slipped anyways. He’d gotten a chance to tell her “don’t let them forget who I am if I die here.” But Sunrunner hadn’t gotten anything out.

“Fine.” Ainissesthai took another breath, feeling the faint pang in her chest when her lungs scraped past the crystal, padded as it was by Ambrose’s magic. “Fine. I’ll talk.”

She opened her mouth to try and tell the story, and couldn’t figure out where to begin. What to say. How to - how to do either of them justice, how to explain what had happened. Partly because it hurt, and partly because she’d never even finished what they set out to do.

“...but I don’t know how,” she said.

A soft sigh. "Easy. Be gentle with yourself." Ainissesthai felt the soft touch of feathers sweeping over one of her wings, over the back of her tail. "Um... start with their stories. Let me know them. Tell me what they were like. Then they'll live on through both of us."

Names. Could she do that? Could she bring herself to say their names? Not yet. She would start with a story.

“I…” She paused, mouth dry. “Can you make sure nobody hears this. I’m not spilling my stupid sad story to everyone on this gods-forsaken team.”

Thanatos glanced over, then away. She wasn’t sure if he’d heard; she hoped not. Although, if anyone had to overhear this conversation, Thanatos would be the one she trusted the most not to cause trouble about it.

“Of course! Of course.” Sunsong glanced up; the pale gold, threaded through with the lightest hints of violet, extended around them in a soft, barely visible. Sound became even more muted. “We can hear, they can't,” Sunsong hummed, the notes weaving the glittering golden light into a dome. It felt safe. “Go on.”

Ainissesthai took a breath, then another. They weren't even moving - that would be later in the day - but she felt her heart seize every time she saw a shard floating towards any member of the team, shielded or not. “When,” she said, and paused. “I - I had a twin brother when I was younger.”

She felt Sunsong, ever so slightly, tense. But when she snuck a glance up at the skydancer, her expression hadn’t changed.

“His name -” No. No, she couldn’t. “We had a friend, too. We stayed together often. And we explored a lot. Beyond my home territory - the Ruins, you know. Mirrorlight. All that shit.” She swallowed. “We discovered some things out in the world. We were young. Didn’t know what to do about it. Didn’t know jack all.”

Outside, wind gusted, sending shards twirling in the light, but the bubble of silence and warmth did not falter.

“We found a portal. Made of stone, like Moonportal. You know Moonportal, right?”

“Yes.”

“Right. We found one more like it. But - it was, it was in Dragonhome. Smack in the center, on the far side of the Watcher Palace in the sand dunes. I guess it was hidden, or something, because nobody knew it was there. But we found it.” She paused. “It led to the Wastes. Fire and ash and whatever. We went through it a few times - I mean, after we made it work, Hhhh -" she choked. "Our friend was always really good with runes. And then we went to tell someone about it. But nobody knew about any freakin’ portal out in the middle of the stupid desert. Nobody cared.” She hissed softly. “So we went to tell the Oculus mages, because nobody else believed us.”

Sunsong didn’t speak, just watched her, eyes kind. Ainissesthai took another breath. “We went across Dragonhome. We stayed away from the Contagion, obviously, because it’s stupid to go near it, even though we could have fought any of it.” She shuddered again, remembering the black mold across her eyes, her mask, in her throat and lungs. “Not that I’ve ever been - any… any good at magic. It’s - that’s not the point. My twin was. Better, that is. But he wasn’t as strong as me.”  Breathe, Aini.  “And our friend, he was… softer. Than either of us. He liked, um… he liked hatchlings, and that kind of thing. You know. Soft."

They had teased him about it sometimes. "You're too kind and gentle to be adventuring," Ainissesthai had told him once. "Too caring."

"That's why I have to be out here too," Harmonium had countered, totally earnest. "You two need caring for."

They hadn't teased him much about it after that.

"Anyway. We tried to go through here. It - we walked, because no one can fly here without fucking dying-" She broke off with a harsh laugh. "Fat lot of good that did us."

"You're still here," Sunsong murmured.

Ainissesthai was, again, thrown off by that. "Not my fault," she said, automatically.

Sunsong flicked her head feathers, face twitching. Ainissesthai winced. Not a good reaction. She rushed onwards.

"My twin, he was a fae, like me. Our friend was a guardian. While we were walking, my brother… slipped. He fell. We all knew we couldn't move quickly but I tried to grab him anyway…" she lowered her head. "Our friend grabbed me. Held me back. I ran into a shard anyway I didn't even notice because I - because…"

"Not your fault," Sunsong hummed, softly. "You did your best. Who was he?"

"He - Harmonium," Ainissesthai choked out. "He was our friend. And my brother. His name was Sunrunner."

“We’ll be okay. Don’t worry. We just have to be careful, and if we slip, don’t make any sudden moves; just grab onto the slope and stay there. The more you move, the more danger you’re in. So the less you move, the safer we’ll be. That’s why we go slow.”

“Can’t we sneak underneath them?”

“No.” Sunrunner shook his head. “They go all the way to the ground. Even we aren’t safe, as small as we are.”

“They were both my friends,” Ainssesthai whispered, “but Sunrunner was my twin. I knew him, so well. He was part of me. And we let him die. And then -”

“Ainissesthai, no!” Harmonium’s claws dug into her clothes, yanking her back. She felt pain - behind, where his claws pierced down to her scales, and in front, which she barely registered. “No!”

Sunrunner’s body was already limp. He tumbled down the slope; she saw crystals spinning in his wake, some stained with blood. Some of the ones in his path vanished after he passed by. The little lights flickering around his body, so similar to hers, began to drift away or go out.

“Sunrunner!” She shrieked, clawing forwards. “Let me go, Harm!”

“No. It’s dangerous - Aini, you can’t -”

“Let me go!” She tried to wrench herself free. Harmonium pulled her backwards again, against her frantic attempts to flap. He reached out with his other hand and grabbed both of her wings, shifting uncertainly on the crystal.

“Aini, stop,” he said. “You can’t -”

He slipped, too. He turned and shoved her back against the stone, eyes going wide, and she saw him try to regain his balance without his wings. He failed, and she watched one snap outwards, flapping in a huge gust of wind to steady him.

Of course the crystals tore through it. Of course they ripped ragged holes in his sails, tearing the delicate membrane, blood already dripping from the veins that ran across. He bellowed in pain, and out went his other wing, and Ainissesthai could only scream as he dug his claws into the stone and fell anyways.

“Stay where you are!” he shouted. “Stay where you are!”

“Harm - !”

He went down too, dragging his claws over the stone. His efforts meant he halted his fall sooner than Sunrunner, who now lay limply at the bottom of the slope. Ainissesthai stared in terror at him - but no, there, his sides rose and fell. He moved.

She wanted to scramble down towards him. But the crystals everywhere - she forced herself to creep down the sheer slope, clinging to every break and fragment of the rock, ducking under slivers of crystal and gently knocking them away with slow, deliberate movements. Harmonium was moving less and less as she got closer. Was that her imagination? Please let it be her imagination.

It took agonizing minutes to climb down to his side. His scales were speared straight through with thin, almost invisible needles of crystal, and she could see blood trickling down the rocks.

“Harm,” she gasped. “Harm, okay, let’s be slow, we can get out of here and get these taken care of - “

“No,” he said, not lifting his head. “Ainissesthai, can I ask -”

“Harm, we gotta get you out of here.”

He raised his head just a hand’s span off the ground, not turning towards her, trying to rasp in more air; she could see a larger spike somewhere in his chest, slipping further in with every breath he took. “Don’t let them forget me,” he said. “Don’t let anyone forget me. It’s okay if I’m gone, but not forgotten.”

“Harm, no. Don’t be like that. We can -”

He turned his head. Ainissesthai had to lock her entire body to prevent herself from scrambling backwards in horror - one of his eyes was pinned shut, the eyelid pierced by a spire of crystal that drove directly into the socket, destroying not only his vision on the left side but the entire left half of his face. “I’m not leaving,” he said softly, and gently laid his head back down.

“...Harm…”

“Sunrunner.” He coughed, and his entire body froze in pain. “Maybe he…”

He trailed off.

“I’ll be back for you,” Ainissesthai promised, pressing her head against Harmonium’s wing. “I’ll be back. Okay? And we’ll get you out of here. Okay?”

He didn’t answer.

“Harm?” She raised her head, then pulled herself over Harm’s wing, panicking. “Harm?! Answer me -”

He was not going to answer her.

“Oh, no, no no no,” she whispered, and dug her claws into Harmonium’s scales. “Wake up, you big, stupid, soft thing!”

Of course he wasn’t going to. She knew that. But she didn’t want it to be true.

Sunrunner. She swung her head around, staring down the slope. Sunrunner. He wasn’t moving, but from this distance, he was just a bundle of black scales. Maybe - maybe -

She began the climb down to him. But she knew the answer long before she reached him. By the time she laid a claw on his corpse, it was already cooled, the glossy carapace stiffening from its normal supple state.

It was only after Ainissesthai had curled up next to him, hoping to feel any last dregs of warmth from his previously glowing form, that she realized how bad the pain in her own body was.

Uncoiling was agonizing. She couldn’t figure out why, until she brushed a claw across her chest and felt it twist the end of a crystal spire, and spike in pain like the sting of a fire-nettle. At the same time she felt it crack and snap and wanted nothing more than to curl up again and fall asleep, possibly forever.

But the portals -

No. She couldn’t - Sunrunner and Harmonium were not… they were gone. She couldn’t even drag their bodies out of this hell - she wouldn’t be able to pull them through the crystals. The fucking crystals. She wanted to grab the one in her chest and wrench it out, but she knew it would just break even further.

What the hell could she possibly do?

She laid her head down again, next to her dead brother, and closed her eyes.

Ainissesthai paused for a moment in her retelling, out of breath. Her chest hurt - possibly from the shards, possibly just from all… this. “I don’t know why I’m alive,” she said. “I don’t know why the hell I’m here.”

She looked up, furious, wishing there were winds she could blame her tears on. “I didn’t even tell the Oculus about the stupid portal! I just told Ambrose. I don’t know if she told anyone about it. I don’t care.”

For a moment, there was only silence. Finally Sunsong let out a long breath, and when Aini looked up, she could see the skydancer's eyes glittering with tears. "That is," she said, "a lot. That's a lot. I am... so sorry. I'm so sorry that we're here."

"Yeah, me fucking too," Aini managed.

"Sunrunner, and Harmonium," Sunsong said. "Hah. I share a name with one of them, partly."

"Yeah."

"Thank you for telling me." Sunsong wiped a paw across her eyes. "I'll remember them with you now. We won't let them be forgotten. Maybe when this is over we can have a proper vigil for them."

Vigil. Hah. Aini bleached everything she’d worn after she’d escaped the Vale - a vigil, forever, for her twin, and for her friend. She’d used what little magic she had to burn the color out of everything she wore, even the metal of her claws. Ambrose had offered to help her, but she’d refused, pouring as much power as she had out into the task. Perhaps it was a penance for her wrongdoing. Perhaps it was guilt that made her force herself to exhaustion, hoping that somewhere, her twin would forgive her. She’d cloaked herself after that, hidden her eyes and her body behind drapes of white fabric. She was a light dragon - she could turn light away from herself if she tried hard enough, and walk in shadows.

“Remember them,” she said, “but not me. I don’t deserve that. They do.”

Sunsong looked down, shocked. "Wh - what?" she said. "What does that mean? No, never. If you pass, I'll remember you, too, with the same honor. You moved forward even with that in your past. You've been through so much and you still forge on. How could I not honor you?"

"But I'm -"

"A survivor," Sunsong said, cutting her off. "Strong. Stronger than me, certainly. I don't want to assume, but I think they'd be proud of you for going on without them. If it were me, I would be."

Don’t be a ruinous mess and throw this back at her,  she scolded herself, and flicked her fins down along her neck, backing off. She huddled back down.  There’s no reason for her to do this. I killed them. I killed them. Why would she place me on the same tier as them? I killed them and failed them and failed our mission even though it was stupid to begin with and -

A movement behind her. "I'm not going to touch you, because you don't seem to like being touched," Sunsong said, "but - please, be gentle. Don't panic. Don't think like that. Don't hate yourself. It's not your fault."

"How can I not? I killed them!"

"No. You didn't. It was just a mistake. Have - have you been fighting with yourself like this for years?"

Aini pressed her face into the grass. Yes. It's what I deserve.

"Oh," Sunsong said, softly. "Oh, Aini, no. Please, be gentle with yourself."

How the hell am I supposed to do that?

"I know it isn't easy to be as nice to yourself as others might be to you," Sunsong murmured, "but maybe I can help. If you'd let me, I mean."

Ainissesthai sat there for a moment, then stood. She left the dome of safety, creeping to the edge of the Vale and looking out.

They hadn't even gotten very far. They were about halfway down the Vale, probably, maybe a little less. She knew the area - she knew where to look. Off to the left, in the tumbles of rock that looked more stable and easier to move through but were in fact less viable of a route than the center, she spotted them. Two pinpricks of color - one tiny, black, and one larger, pale lavender and pink, nearly blending in with the Vale.

Organic matter did not decay properly in the Vale. The air and magic here preserved it, eventually turning it to crystal just like it had with the stone of the earth. Some thought that it crystallized the air, giving rise to the shards. Either way, things left here became part of the landscape, forever.

“I am sorry,” she said, to them. She could barely see them, but they were there. “I - I am.”

"They know," Sunsong told her. Her eyes glittered with golden dust; she saw something Aini couldn't. "They forgive you. You just have to forgive yourself, now."

“Um. Sunsong,” Ainissesthai said abruptly, “I - have you ever been to the Oculus?”

“I have not.”

“Do you wanna go? I never told them about the portal. I should.” Ainissesthai’s eyes were fixed on the distant forms. “I can’t move them now, but at least I can finish that stupid mission we had, that we gave ourselves.”

“Oh, certainly,” Sunsong answered. “I'll go wherever you need me to." She paused, her feathers fluffing up.

“Good. Cool. Great.” Ainissesthai sank to the ground again, still watching. “I’ll finish it, guys. I promise. I’m sorry.”

She felt Sunsong sit down beside her, carefully putting one front paw on either side of her body. Ainissesthai didn’t move; she didn’t mind. It was comforting.

“I’ll try harder,” she said. No, that wasn’t right. She shook her head. “No. Um. I’ll…”  I’ll what? Do better? Not fuck up this time? Try not to kill anyone else? No. No, none of that is right.

She looked out at the specks, thinking. They don’t hate you. They never did, not even after everything. They still love you, from wherever the Deities take them when they depart. They want the best for you.  She paused. For me. I mean.

It was time to move on. The stones wouldn't take them past the bodies; she wouldn't see them again. She swallowed hard. She'd cry later, she knew, but for now, she was alright. “For you, and I guess for me,” she said, “I’ll keep going.”