Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

September 18, Late afternoon

      Ember Nelson looked around the quiet South Dakota neighborhood, smiling slightly.  All was peaceful, and nobody was watching.  Slowly, she used her eyes to guide the keys out of her pocket and into the lock, forcing the door open, her hands full of groceries and her purse and backpack.  Telekinesis was a wonderful thing sometimes, she thought.  She had to be careful, but at moments like this, it was extremely helpful.

     She had just guided the keys out of the lock when without warning, strong hands went around her, and a knife was held to her throat.  “Who are you?” a deep voice commanded.

     Ember took a second to react, then dropped her groceries and called upon the use of the second power she possessed:  invisibility.  Her attacker let her go, shocked, and whirled around with his knife, putting his back to the wall.  Ember, meanwhile, backed up to the opposite wall.  “Who the hell are you?!”

     An old man came careening into the room, then, yelling, “Shut it, ya idgits!  Ember, is that you?”

     “Yeah Bobby, it’s me,” Ember responded, still invisible, as her attacker looked around wildly, “Will you tell this lunatic to lay off!”

     There was a moment of silence before, finally, her attacker looked at the older man and lowered his knife, looking dubious.  Ember showed herself, staring daggers at the man.

     The elder man, Bobby, sighed.  “Dean, meet my daughter.”

     Dean spun around toward the old man, hurt and disbelief in his eyes.  “Your what?!” 

     At the same time, Ember shouted, “Dean?  Bobby, I thought you said he was in hell?”  Ember fished for the revolver she carried in her purse, feeling its handle just in case.

     “It’s complicated,” Bobby snapped, answering both questions at once.

     “Start talking,” Dean snapped, and Ember noticed that he had still not let go of his knife, either.

     “I couldn’t tell you about her,” Bobby said, looking first at Dean and then at Ember.  “And I didn’t have time to tell you about him.  He just came back.”  Neither Dean nor Ember had let go of their weapon.

     “What do you mean you couldn’t tell me?” Dean exclaimed.

     Ember knew the answer to this question.  “My mother made him promise not to tell anyone about me.  It’s because I’m half-demon,” she answered.  She hated long dramatic build-ups.  Better to get the violence out of the way, if it was going to happen.

    Dean’s face looked for a second as though he might burst into laughter, as though this was all a big prank.  Then he seemed to decide that Bobby was being serious, and he started toward Ember, knife raised.  Bobby shot him a warning look, which stopped him in his tracks, however.  Dean then shot an angry look at Bobby, and his jaw worked up and down a few times.  Finally, he exploded.  “What the hell, Bobby?!  I’m in Hell for four months and you’re suddenly harboring a half-demon daughter?  What am I supposed to do with this?”

     “Shut up and listen up, ya idgit!  It’s not what you think, and if you go after my daughter I swear to God I’ll send you straight back to Hell.”

     Dean glared at Bobby, stowing his knife but keeping his hand on it.  “Start talking.”

     Bobby looked at Ember.  “Now, hold on a second,” she snapped at Bobby.  “Why do I have to do the talking first?  You could be putting me in danger here, too.  How did he get out of Hell?  Did you ‘holy water’ him?”  Dean’s eyebrows shot up in mild surprise.

     “Yup.”

     “Prove it.”  Dean looked even more surprised, and his hand slipped an infinitesimal amount away from his knife.  He caught her looking, however, and rearranged his features back into a glare.

     “Fine,” Bobby sighed, rolling his eyes and grabbing the water from a nearby table. He shook his head sarcastically.  “We’ll all do holy water, and we’ll all use a salted knife, and then we’re gonna sit down and talk, without our weapons.”  Dean and Ember both stared at each other venomously.

    They passed around the holy water, and the knife, Ember ignoring the curious look on Dean’s face.  Finally, it seemed he couldn’t take it anymore.  “Isn’t that gonna hurt, demon?” he taunted her.

    Ember rolled her eyes.  “Of course it’s gonna hurt, ‘ya thick-headed moron,” she snapped.  “Nobody loves knifing themselves.  But I’m only half-demon, so it’ll just sting a bit.  And the water just tickles.”

     When they were finished, Bobby gestured to the sofa.  “Sit.  Talk.”

     Dean sat on one sofa, and Ember on the other.  Both of their hands were away from their weapons now, but both were still alert if needed.

     “I’m half-demon, half human,” Ember started.  “Bobby and my mother dated for awhile.  She got possessed.  You can figure out the rest.  I got lucky though.  Powers didn’t hit until puberty.  Life was… I don’t know, normal?  Compared to what it is now, life was normal.”

     Dean’s glare had lessened slightly, and he was listening raptly.  “My powers started showing up when I was a teenager, so Mom got ahold of Bobby.  Mom made Bobby promise that he wouldn’t tell anyone – especially any other hunters – about me.”

     She stared Dean in the face, imploringly.  Dean had to believe her, if only for Bobby’s sake.  “Bobby’s told me all about you, though.  And Dean – if that’s who you really are, and if you did make it back from Hell – you should know, I’ve never killed anyone.  Hosts I’ve killed, if that counts.  Only a couple of times, before Bobby taught me the exorcism.  But I’ve always been really careful not to let my demon side have any power over me.”

     Dean looked at Bobby for confirmation of this statement, and Bobby nodded.  After a thoughtful pause, Dean said dubiously, “Okay… okay, fine.  Say that’s true.  What powers do you have, then?”  Ember could tell from his tone that he was still pretty sure that she was evil, but was willing to continue to listen for Bobby’s sake.

     “Invisibility, obviously.”  She rolled her eyes.  “Unfortunately, it’s still not helpful when it comes to demons, because they can smell me.  They can’t pinpoint my exact location if I’m invisible, though, so I guess that’s helpful.  Bobby says it would work against ghosts, though, but vampires and werewolves would be able to smell me unless I mask my scent.”  Ember took a large breath.  “And… and telekinesis.  Useless on humans, though, until… well, until recently.  I can unlock doors, pull weeds without touching them, that kind of thing.  Party tricks.”

     Bobby raised his eyebrows at Ember, and Ember looked away.  Dean didn’t have to know everything… yet. 

     “You said until recently?” Dean asked, still staring at her with doubt.

     Ember sighed.  “In the last month or so, I’ve gotten… stronger.”  She gave an uncomfortable squirm.  “You have to understand, my powers showed up when I was 13, and stopped changing around the time I was about 19.  They’ve been the same for five years now.  It was… I mean, it was good fun, mostly.  A little bit of practical joking with the help of my invisibility, and the telekinesis really came in handy when I messed up my wrist.”  Bobby was looking at her again with a raised eyebrow, but she ignored him.

     “Then, just… out of the blue… suddenly I’m able to push and pull humans, and move around dogs and cats.  And… and I can fly.  Well, I mean, it’s more like… I can levitate, short distances, so I guess it’s more like… soaring.”  She looked up, smiling slightly.  “That part is kind of cool.  But it’s scary, too.  Suddenly it’s…” she gave Dean a nervous glance.  “It’s not just party tricks anymore.  And I don’t know what’s different.  So… I called up Bobby.”

     Dean’s glare had changed to a look of curiousity.  Ember got the impression from him that he was willing to put his hatred of her being half-demon on hold to solve the mystery.  It was exactly how Bobby had always described him, she thought:  impulsive, but curious and hungry for the next case, and always lethal.  It was obvious he still didn’t trust her, but perhaps was willing to put off killing her for Bobby’s sake until he knew he had to do so.  “So… fine.  Say you’re telling the truth.  I’ve never heard of a half-demon before, but why the hell not?  So your powers just… started growing last month, for no apparent reason?  You didn’t… have any new experiences?  You didn’t meet any new friends?”

     Ember rolled her eyes, knowing what he meant to imply.  “I haven’t been cavorting with any demons, if that’s what you’re asking.  My powers scared the daylights out of me when I was younger, and since then I’ve been very careful not to let them get the better of me.  Until recently, I lived a normal life.  I’m a therapist, for kids.  I just finished grad school, and two months ago I got my first therapy job.”

     Dean looked absolutely shocked, and Ember grinned proudly.  She could tell that this piece of information, more than anything else, had knocked him off his guard.  Perhaps she wouldn’t have to worry about him killing her in her sleep after all.  “Not what you were expecting?  A half-demon therapist doesn’t fit in your monster-related descriptions?”

     Apparently Dean had nothing to say to that.

***Dean POV***

September 18, Night

     After escaping from Hell, Dean had thought about 5 things:  Hell itself (including what he had experienced while he had been there, and how he had been brought back), Sam, Bobby, food and drink, and sex.  (Sleep, ironically, hadn’t been high on the list.  Apparently whoever had brought him back had at least given him some energy.)  Food and drink had been the first thing checked off the list, and Bobby seemed okay.  Sam was next on the list.

     Ember had asked to accompany Dean and Bobby to Pontiac, Illinois to find Sam.  Dean was still wary of her, however he had decided to let her live for the time being.  This was partially due to her story being plausible (as long as the facts checked out – and he would be checking), partially due to Bobby’s good word, and partially due to his own curiousity about her powers increasing.  Could this be related to them letting all the demons out of Hell over a year ago?  No, that wouldn’t make sense – she’d said her powers had increased within the last month.  It wasn’t as though he was exactly “in the know” about happenings in the supernatural world, however – after all, he’d spent the past four months in Hell.

     Bobby was in favor of the idea of Ember coming along to find Sam, however, and as Sam had the Impala and they would be taking Bobby’s car, Dean didn’t have much of a choice.  Therefore, Dean begrudgingly slid into the back seat of Bobby’s junk car, allowing Ember to ride shotgun while Bobby drove.  “Thanks for letting me tag along,” she said.  “I know Bobby never told you about me… that was my mother’s decision.  The less people know about me, the better.”

     “Hmph,” he answered, distracted. 

     “But I’ve heard stories about you and Sam for awhile now,” Ember said again, “and I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

     Ember threw her small back-pack on the seat next to Dean, and he looked up at her questioningly.  The backpack couldn’t have been large enough to hold more than one pair of pants and a shirt.  “I have to pack light,” she said, following his eye.  “I don’t have the money to pay for plane rides, so I go invisible.  That’s how I got to Bobby’s.  I feel kind of bad about the free plane rides.  But, I figure the people who pay for the plane don’t have to worry about-…” she stopped, then finished, “um, about keeping their crazy demon side in check.  So, I guess this is the plus side of being half-demon.  At least, that’s how I justify it to myself.”  She smiled.

     As Bobby climbed into the driver’s seat, it occurred to Dean that he was starting to feel like he may have been a dick.  He had called Ember “demon” earlier and mocked her about the holy water and the salt knife, and yet she was worried about taking advantage of people with her invisibility and spending money on plane rides.  Hell, if he could become invisible, he would steal… well, a lot of money, for starters.  And, he admitted, he would probably spend a lot of time in girls’ locker rooms.  He had a sinking feeling she had never used her invisibility to spy on naked people.  Honestly, for a half-demon, she seemed a bit like a goody two-shoes.  Still, he could tell she was hiding something, so perhaps she wasn’t as goody-two-shoes as she let on.  Or, he thought, perhaps being a goody-two-shoes on the surface of things was simply how she kept her half-demon side in check.

     As the car ride progressed even further, Dean was forced to admit that he was viewing Ember as less and less of a threat the more time he spent with her.  It wasn’t a sense of mutual respect, like he’d had with the demon called Casey when they’d been trapped in the basement (although there was that, too).  The fact was that Dean simply couldn’t find anything demonic about this half-demon girl.  She talked excitedly about her work with her clients, and about her friends back home.  He also couldn’t deny that Ember was good looking; she was tall, with shoulder-length brown hair and dark eyes.  She was smart, witty, and sarcastic.  She knew most of the same classic rock songs he did, though she had an appreciation for all types of music, and even played him a few songs that he had never heard before (but liked).  There was also something very simple about her; she was the kind of girl that was obviously most comfortable in jeans and a tank top, and there was something wholly attractive about that.  He wondered briefly if Ember might be up for the “sex” part of his post-Hell bucket list, but it quickly occurred to him that her being Bobby’s daughter would definitely complicate the situation.  In addition, he attempted to convince himself, “half-demon” was definitely on his “nope” list for sexual conquests.

     At some point, Dean switched seats with Bobby, who then fell asleep in the back seat, leaving him alone to make conversation with her.  “How are you getting back home?” he asked after they had exhausted their discussion about classic rock songs.  “Actually… where is home for you, anyway?”

     “You saved me the trip,” she answered.  “I only live a couple of hours east of Pontiac.  Once this thing is done with Sam, would you mind dropping me off?”

     “Depends on how it goes,” Dean said honestly, “But… probably.”  He still didn’t like how easily he had grown to feel comfortable around her, but at this point he was invested enough to give her the benefit of the doubt.  Beside the point, she was Bobby’s daughter, and he was obviously protective of her.  Dean supposed that alone ought to make her family.  One thing was for certain:  whether he was thinking of her as family or as a beautiful woman, he was beginning to think that his first impression had been less than ideal.

     “Thanks,” Ember said.  “Planes are cheap – for me at least – but they really blow.  Unless there are a couple seats in a row with nobody in them, I’m stuck camping out with the baggage.  It gets crowded, and no matter how much I try, I always get hit with a suitcase at least once.”

     Eventually, the conversation turned to childhood.  Ember talked a lot about her early life, which seemed unremarkable compared to his.  She also asked all kinds of questions about hunting.  She wanted to know all about his adventures with vampires, werewolves, and ghosts – all things that Bobby had talked about, but which she’d never run into herself.  After awhile, Dean found himself almost bragging to her.  It occurred to him that he very rarely got an opportunity to talk about his job with people who believed in and understood it, and even less so to a beautiful woman.  He couldn’t help showing off a bit:  “I really like the dream world that the Djinn put me in.  I thought it was the perfect life, you know, until I started seeing the newspaper clippings, and looked into it farther.  Everyone we had saved – all 108 people on that plane, and the girl Sam liked with the painting, and everyone – they all would’ve died without Sammy and I.” 

     Ember wanted to know all about rugarus and vanirs and werewolves, and Dean was happy to discuss them.  Slowly, he began to remember who he was before Hell – before Alastair, before the torture.  Finally, he asked about her experience with demons, and was surprised at her answer:  “I’ve exorcised 31 demons, and killed 4 hosts.”  She said it in a monotone and not looking him in the eye, as though she didn’t want to discuss it.

     “What are you doing to attract these demons?” Dean asked.  “I didn’t realize Indiana doubled as a demon hub.”

     She shrugged, still averting her eyes, but her posture turned icy somehow.  “Don’t know.  They just always seem to find me,” she said evasively.

     Dean changed the subject, and he and Ember spent a fair amount of time discussing the mysterious growth of Ember’s powers.  Ember confessed that her biggest concern was that she was becoming “more demon-like”.  “I don’t feel any darker,” she said.  “I mean, I don’t have, you know, more of an urge to murder people, or whatever, since my power grew.  Still, I feel like the cosmic gods of the universe, or whoever is out there in control, would take issue with me gaining all of these powers and not paying a price somewhere.”

     “So don’t use the powers,” Dean said, “At least not the newer ones.”

     “It’s not that simple,” Ember said, shaking her head.  “I need them, to defend myself, if nothing else.  Of those demons exorcised, 10 of the exorcisms were in the last month alone.  Half-demons are rare, and apparently in high demand.”  She sighed.  “That’s how I found out my power was increasing in the first place, actually.  I mean, it’s not like I have a ton of time to go out into a field and test my new powers like some bad movie montage.”

     Dean laughed shortly, shooting her a sideways glance.  Somehow it was difficult to imagine this lanky, witty, therapist girl killing even one demon, much less overpowering 10 of them in the last month.  Then, without realizing he was doing it, he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to chill with us for awhile?  We can offer protection.”  As soon as he had said it, he already wished he hadn’t.  What was he thinking?  Offering protection to a half-demon?

     Ember shook her head.  “Nah, it’s okay.  I’ve got shit to do.  I can take care of myself, really.”

***Ember POV***

September 19, Early morning

     Finally, after a long drive, Dean, Ember, and Bobby arrived in Pontiac, IL and knocked on room 207.  Ember knew immediately that the woman who answered the door was a demon.  There was a small look exchanged by both women, very quickly, which included recognition and panic.  Ember was just about to raise her weapon when the demon woman said, “So where is it?”

     “Where’s what?” Bobby asked.

     “The pizza?”  Ember was stunned into silence.  She’d never encountered a demon that didn’t immediately come after her in an attack or sexual fashion.  She honestly wasn’t sure what to make of it.

     “I think we got the wrong room,” Dean said.

     A tall man showed up behind the demon girl, however, and gave Dean a look as though he had seen a ghost.  “Hey ya, Sammy,” Dean said.  And then the two brothers began fighting.  During their fight, Ember turned to the demon woman, putting up her arms in a defensive stance, and prepared for a fight.  The demon woman, however, took one look at Ember and ran back down the hallway.

***Dean POV***

September 19, Noon

     Sam took to Ember a lot easier than Dean did, which, if he was honest, pissed him off.  “It doesn’t bother you?  You know, that I showed up with Bobby and his half-demon daughter?”  Dean could just make her out in Bobby’s car in front of the Impala, speaking animatedly with Bobby from the passenger seat.  They were on the way to Pam’s, Bobby’s psyhic friend, and Ember had been eager, yet again, to come along.

    “So she’s half-demon, so what?” Sam said, once again stationed in the passenger seat of the Impala.  “The way you tell it, she’s a therapist who feels bad about not paying for plane tickets.  Not exactly threatening, is it?”  Sam smiled, squinting ahead into the distance.  “Not bad looking, either, is she?”

     “Dude!  She’s like… half demon.”  Dean laughed at his brother.  “Not that that makes a difference to you… apparently you just slept with a full demon.” 

     “Man, shut up, okay?  I had no idea!”

     “Dude, you should’ve seen the look on your face when Ember told you!” Dean laughed at Sam.  His mood was beginning to lighten.  He was out of Hell, and he had found his brother. 

     “C’mon, man, she never said anything about being a demon.  But maybe it’s like Ruby said last year, you know?  Maybe not all demons want the same thing.”

     “Yeah, and this one wanted to test out the once-possible fearless demon leader in the sack,” said Dean.  “Hey Sammy, was the sex different?  Like, did she fuck you on the ceiling or something?”

     “Dude!  No, she was just like a normal girl.”

     “Shame,” Dean said.  “I bet that’d be hot.”

     Sam squinted into the darkness, following Dean’s gaze into the car in front of them, where they could see Ember’s head bobbing to the music.  “This Ember girl… Do you… do you like her?!”

     “Dude!  It’s not like that.  She’s hot, that’s all.”  When Sam didn’t seem satisfied, Dean added, “C’mon, how cool would that be?  Sex with an invisible chick than can levitate?”

     Sam laughed.  “My brother and a half-demon… never would’ve thought it.”  He laughed again.  “Can you imagine what Bobby would say?”

     Dean laughed, too.  “I was kidding, anyway.”  He paused.  “Wait.  Do you mean… what Bobby would say about me hooking up with a half-demon, or me hooking up with his daughter?”

    They both laughed at this, and he watched Sam relax in the passenger’s seat.  It occurred to Dean in that moment that, for the first time in four months (or forty years, in actual time), he felt like he wanted to survive another day.  

***Dean POV***

September 20, Daytime

     Dean had to admit it; he would be sorry to see Ember go back home.  Realistically, he didn’t know when they would see each other again, though he could be fairly certain that they would see her again.  Now that he and Sam knew about her, they would definitely be checking in on her, if she didn’t contact them first.

     Castiel – whoever he was – had blinded Pam, but Ember had barely seemed phased by it.  She had definitely been concerned, he thought, but not as shaken as he had expected her to be.  Still, she seemed stony and distant, particulary when they stopped at a small diner on the way back to her apartment.

     “We got a name – Castiel, or whatever,” Dean told Sam over coffee.  “With the right mumbo jumbo, we could summon him, bring him right to us.”

     “You’re crazy.  Absolutely not,” said Sam.  Dean looked at Ember, but her eyes were on the waitress.

     “We’ll work him over.  I mean, after what he did?”

     “Pam took a peek at him, and her eyes burned out of her skull,” Sam replied, “And you want to have a face-to-face?”

     “Have you got a better idea?” Dean asked, glancing again at Ember, who was being awfully quiet.  With a start, he realized that one of the men in the back of the room was staring at Ember… and she was staring back, a weary but resigned look on her face.

     “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do!” Sam said.  “I followed some demons to town, right?”

     “Okay,” Dean said.  He wasn’t really paying attention to Sam anymore, however.  He realized that two men in the corner were heading toward the table staring right at Ember, and the waitress seemed to be making a beeline toward the table as well.

     “So we go find them,” Sam finished.

     “You won’t have to look far,” Ember jumped in suddenly, once again eyeing the waitress, who sat down at the table, flashing black eyes at the three of them.  Dean shot a look toward Sam, who had also identified the waitress’ eyes.  This was not good.  This was very, very not good.  He inched his hand toward his demon knife.

     “Dean… to Hell and back.  Aren’t you a lucky duck?” the waitress said to the three of them.  Dean saw, out of the corner of his eye, one of the men lock the door of the bar behind them.

     “That’s me,” he said.

     “So you get to just stroll out of the pit, huh?” the demon waitress said.  “Tell me, what makes you so special?” 

     Dean was also very aware of the two men, both eyeing Ember.  He didn’t like the way they were looking at her.  “I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples,” he replied.  “I don’t know.  It wasn’t my doing.  I don’t know who pulled me out.”

     “Right, you don’t.”

     “No, I don’t,” he replied forcefully.  The men were still looking at Ember.

     “Lying’s a sin you know,” the demon waitress continued. 

     “I’m not lying.  But I’d like to find out, so if you wouldn’t mind enlightening me, Flo.”

     “Mind your tone with me, boy,” she replied.  “I’ll drag you back to Hell myself.”

     He called her bluff.  “No you won’t.”

     “No?”

     “No.  ‘Cause if you were, you’d have done it already.  Fact is, you don’t know who cut me loose.  You’re just as spooked as we are.  You’re looking for answers.”  He paused.  “Well, maybe it was some turbocharged spirit, hmm?  Or maybe uh… Godzilla.  Or some big bad boss demon.”  He was scaring her, he could tell.  We actually might get out of this diner alive, after all, he thought.  “But I’m guessing at your pay grade, they don’t tell you squat.  ‘Cause whoever it was, they want me out.  And they’re a lot stronger than you.”  Now, to finish the threat, Dean thought.  “So go ahead.  Send me back.  But don’t come crawling to me when they show up on your front doorstep with some vaseline and a firehose.”  Then, slowly, glaring at the waitress and the other demons, Dean, Sam, and Ember got up to leave.

     They almost made it, too.  The three of them almost made it out of that diner, with no fight, just a stalemate confrontation.  Instead, just as they were about to leave, all three of them keeping an eye on the three demons, one of the men said, “Wait.”

     “What?” Dean snapped.

     “You two can go… we don’t want any trouble.  Leave the girl.”

     “Why?” Sam snapped.

     “I like her smell.”

     “She’s half-demon, isn’t she?” the other man filled in.  “I’ve never seen a half-demon like her.  And I saw her first.”  And he made to grab for Ember.

     Dean and Sam both pulled their weapons, but Ember got there first.  Her revolver was in one hand threateningly, and her other hand was out, pushing at the air, which seemed to be keeping the second man at bay, though barely.  Then, to Dean’s astonishment, she began an exorcism.  “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…”

     The woman launched herself at Ember, but was blocked by Sam, who rolled with her to the other side of the room.  The other man also attempted to launch himself at Ember, but instead met with Dean’s demon knife, and keeled over onto one of the tables.

     “Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis, adversarii, omnis legio…”

     Sam was struggling with the woman, and Ember seemed to be managing herself, so Dean launched himself forward to help Sam.

     “Omnis congregatio, et secta diabolica!”  Two clouds of black smoke fled from the room, and Ember keeled over onto the floor.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “Thanks for your help,” Ember whispered, once the three of them had begun the journey back to Indiana in the Impala.

     “No problem,” Dean said, “It’s what we’re here for.”  His mind was reeling.  What had just happened?  The demons had been willing to let Sam and Dean go, but they wanted Ember?  Why?

     “You attract them, don’t you?” Sam asked suddenly, and Dean’s brain came to a screeching halt as he tried to follow what Sam was saying.

     “Yes,” Ember whispered from the backseat.  “I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but they seem to be able to sense me from… I don’t know, for sure up to a football field away.  I get… followed, you know?  So I try to stay out of crowded places, but eventually I decided… that’s no way to live my life.”

     “That’s why you’ve run into so many lately, isn’t it?” asked Sam slowly.  “A couple of years ago, we – well, a bunch of demons were let out of Hell at once.  And lately, with your powers growing… the attraction grows, too?”

     Ember nodded.

     “Holy shit,” Dean said, his brain finally clunking into place.  He couldn’t imagine.  She wasn’t just powerful, and she wasn’t just half-demon.  No, she was a beacon, a literal beacon for unwanted demon attention.  No wonder she hated demons so much!  He couldn’t imagine anything more absolutely horrible.

     “I’m sorry,” Sam was saying.

     “Ember, are you sure you don’t want to come stay with us?” Dean asked.

     Ember smiled sadly.  “I appreciate the offer, but I have a life of my own back in Indiana.  I’ve come to terms with this life, with what I am, so as soon as I figure out why my powers are increasing, I should be fine.”

     Sam sighed.  “If you’re sure.  Look… our door, and Bobby’s door, is always open.  If you ever need help, with anything, or just… I don’t know, just want to come along with us or something… give us a call, okay?”

     Ember smiled wryly.  “I might just do that, actually.  As scary as this weekend was, I can’t deny that it’s been fun.  My normal life is stressful, but this has definitely been an adrenaline rush of a different kind.”  She sighed.  “Not just that, but… you guys can use me.”

     Sam and Dean looked at each other.  Ember continued, “I know what they say about hunting, that if you’re involved with demons and hunting that it’s your whole life and you can never leave it.  And I’m not ready for that yet, and my mother certainly isn’t.  But… Bobby tells me from time to time what you guys are up against.  You’ve seen my powers, and my guess is that there will come a time when you need me on your side.”

     Dean nodded, shooting a look at Sam.

     “You’re sure you’re gonna be okay against this… Castiel?” Ember continued.  “I can take a couple of days off work, if you need…”

     Dean shook his head.  “I have the advantage:  he wants me alive, obviously.”  He could tell that the fact that she attracted demons was very troubling to her – or, at least it had been troubling, at one point.  It occurred to him that she was a lot like him – troubled, with a really messed up position in life, and managing to bury it down.  He hadn’t seen any alcohol or cigarettes, so perhaps she was practicing what she preached and keeping herself sane with the whole “I’m a therapist” thing.  Still, he mused, anyone who could make it through this past weekend and still want to spend time with them couldn’t be completely right in the head.  This was definitely too much thinking for him.

     “Fair point,” Ember was saying.  “Just promise me you’ll let me know when you find Castiel, okay?”

     “Yeah, sure,” Dean said genuinely.  “I promise, I’ll call you.”

     Ember giggled, Sam elbowed him in the ribs, and Dean realized a second too late exactly what he had said. 

***Ember POV***

September 30, Evening

     One week later, Ember was finishing up some work when she got an important phone call.  “Hey, Ember, it’s Sam,” said the voice on the other end of the line.  “Hold on, I’m going to put you on speaker phone, so Dean can hear too.  Bobby’s here with us, too.”

     “Hey,” Dean said in his very flirty voice.

     “Hello Ember,” said Bobby.

     Ember knew that if all 3 of them were calling her at once, it definitely wasn’t good news.  “What’s up, guys?”

     “Well, we think we might’ve figured out why your powers have been increasing,” Bobby said.

     “And you’re not gonna like it,” added Sam.

     Ember sighed.  “Okay, just hit me with it.”

     “Well, over the past few days, a hell of a lot hunters have met their ends to the ghosts of the people they couldn’t save,” Bobby said.  “And we almost did, too.  And after awhile, we realized we were dealing with the rising of the witnesses.”

     Ember dropped the phone in her surprise.  She felt a sharp swoop in her stomach.  When she picked it back up, she heard Dean’s voice “…doesn’t know what that means, Bobby?”

     “I told you, boy, that girl’s done more research about demons than you two put together.  She knows what it means.”

     “Bobby, tell me you’re kidding me,” Ember demanded.

     “I’m sorry Ember, it looks like it’s true,” Bobby said.

     Ember sighed, and sat down on her bed.  Her head felt like it was going to explode, and she could feel a panic attack of epic porportions coming on.  “Okay, tell me what you know,” she said.

     “Castiel came to me last night,” Dean said.  (Dean had called Ember and explained about Castiel in their last phone call, almost a week ago now.)

     “And he didn’t even wake me up!” said Sam’s voice.

     “Ah, shut up,” said Dean.  “Anyway, Cas told us Bobby’s theory was right… the rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.  Lilith, one of the oldest demons, is in the process of breaking the seals, and when 66 of them are broken-…”

     “Lucifer is free,” filled in Ember.

     “So you already know all this?” Dean asked.

     “I’m half demon and a bookworm,” Ember snapped.  “I make it my business to know the lore.  But I didn’t know it could actually happen.”

     “Yeah, Cas says that’s why angels have arrived back on Earth in the first place,” Dean said.  “Shame.  They’re huge pricks, from what I can tell.”

     “You’re out of Hell though,” Sam pointed out.

     Ember’s head was spinning.  “Guys… did Castiel say how many seals have been broken?  Or for how long Lilith has been breaking seals?”

     “No,” Sam said.  “But we thought… it can’t have been that long, or else we would’ve heard about it.  I mean, from what we’ve been able to gather, we’re some of the first hunters to realize this is going on.  You said your powers have been increasing for about a month, right?”

     “Yeah,” Ember admitted.  “Nearly two months now.”

     “Well, that would make sense,” said Bobby.  “Demon power draws on Lucifer.  And half-demons are supposed to be really powerful, only…”

     “I’ve chosen not to give in to the dark side, yeah,” said Ember.

     “So it isn’t safe for her to use her new powers then,” said Dean.

     “No, I keep telling you,” Bobby said.  “I’m pretty sure it’s safe for her to use the non-evil powers for non-evil purposes.”

     “As long as she’s not doing anything demonic, she should be okay,” said Sam, comprehending.

     But Ember wasn’t listening.  “Bobby,” she whispered through the phone, and all three arguing voices suddenly stopped.  “Bobby, what am I going to do?”

     There was no answer, until Dean said, very softly.  “We’ll get this under control, Ember.  We’ll figure out Lilith, and Lucifer too, if it comes to that.  I promise you.”

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

Thursday, October 29, Morning

ONE MONTH LATER

     Dean didn’t see or talk to Ember again for over a month, until nearly Halloween.  The brothers were riding in the Impala when they got the call.

     “Babysit Ember?” Dean heard Sam ask Bobby over the phone, and he immediately snapped to attention, turning down Bob Dylan on the radio.  “Sure, but you know Ember can take care of herself.  Why does she want someone to babysit?”  Dean cuffed him on the ear.  “Ow!  Dean, what the hell?” 

     The phone call continued for awhile after this, though Dean wasn’t able to make out anything significant from the caller.  “Yeah, I understand… yeah, I’ll tell him,” Sam said.  “Out of curiousity, why won’t you be hosting her then?”  At this point Sam ducked as Dean attempted to cuff him once more across the head.  “Oh, okay.  You sure you don’t need any help?  We don’t have a case at the moment… Oh, okay… well, say hi to Rufus for me.  Okay… yes, I’ve noticed… yes, I believe he does… yes, I’ll tell him.”

     Once Sam hung up the phone, Dean immediately attempted to play it cool.  “So, Ember, huh?”

     Sam rubbed his head where Dean had cuffed him, not fooled by Dean’s attempt at a cavalier attitude.  “That hurt, jerk.”

     “Shut up, bitch.”

     They were silent for awhile, before Dean asked, “Why now?  And why did Bobby let you know?  She could’ve called us herself…”

     “Get this… apparently Ember has spent the last several Halloweens with Bobby, because demons… well, they tend to find her on Halloween, more than any other time.”

     “Yeah, that makes sense,” Dean said.  “They’re more active.”

     “Yeah, I guess she’s got a lot of bad memories of Halloweens.  I guess it’s sort of their thing, her and Bobby.”

     Dean nodded, thoughtfully.  “Yeah, okay.  But he bailed on her?”

     Sam shook his head.  “Nah.  Apparently he’s got a situation.  He didn’t say much, but it sounded like he and Rufus have got some demons in the basement that they’re trying to interrogate – at least three, judging by the screaming.  So, Ember asked if she could spend some time with us on short notice.”

     “Are you sure Bobby doesn’t need help?”

     “Apparently it’s personal.  Something about Rufus’ step-daughter.”  Sam shrugged.  “Anyway, Bobby asked if Ember could stay with us instead.”

     “Awesome!” said Dean.  “Think she’ll want her own room?”  He stopped, pulling into a fast food restaurant.  “Oooh, she’s a therapist.  Bet she’ll pay for her own room!”

     This time it was Sam’s turn to cuff Dean on the side of his head.

     “Ow!  Don’t hit the driver!”

     “One, you’re parked, jerk.  Two, the whole point of this operation is for her to stay in the same room as us.  You know, because of the whole ‘demon attraction’ thing?  And three, what you’re really asking is if you think you have a shot at sleeping with her, and the answer is no, she’s not that easy.”  Sam got out of the car and slammed the door.

     “How do you know?” Dean followed him.

     “Because we’ve talked about it.”

     Dean was so busy staring at Sam in shock that he was only narrowly missed by a black Mustang driving too fast through the parking lot.  Sam, looking back, began to laugh.  “It’s not that big of a deal, dude.  We’ve just talked on instant messenger a few times.”

     “She’s never on when I’m on,” Dean pouted.

     Sam rolled his eyes.  “That’s because you only ever get on the computer to look at porn.”

     “Don’t knock Asian chicks,” was Dean’s only response, and he stepped up to the counter.

     After the brothers had gotten their food, Dean asked, “So what’d she say, when you apparently talked to her online?  About being… easy?”

     “Well, we didn’t talk about that, exactly,” Sam said, “I just consulted her on a couple of demon cases, that’s all.  And she said she has to be careful about who she hangs out with, what she does, etcetera.  She’s really scared of going demon, going dark.  Apparently…”  Sam paused.  “Apparently she and Bobby have discovered that with her being half-demon and half-human, she has to work extra hard to make sure the good deeds she does outweigh the bad, in order for her to get into Heaven.”

     Dean thought about this for a second.  Then, “Are you sure the bad deeds count even if she does them while she’s invisible?”  In response, Sam threw a french fry in Dean’s face.

     As it turns out, however, at the last second, the brothers did have a case that Halloween.  Reluctantly, Dean made the phone call to Ember to let her know.  “I can direct you to another hunter if you’d like, if you need someone to protect you…” he let his voice trail off.  “But you’re always welcome to come with us.”  Sam glared daggers at him, but he continued, edging the cell phone out of the way of Sam’s long arms in case he decided to make a grab for it.  “Plus, it doesn’t look like this new case involves demons.  At first glance, the case sounds like witches.  ‘Guy got killed after finding razor blades in the candy.  Like, a bunch of them.  It’s a bit weird, but not demons’ style.”  He really hoped she would agree to come along.

     “I can protect myself,” came the indignant voice from the other end of the phone, “It’s Mom, or my roommate I’m worried about.  And when it comes to hunters, I know who to place my bets on…”  Ember laughed.  “You know, a demon found me about three weeks ago, and he was a strong one, and got to me while I was asleep.  Thought I was gonna have to shoot him.  ‘Threw out your name, though, and he sure knew who you were, Dean.  He paused so long I was able to exorcise him instead of killin’ him.  Good thing, too.  Host was a father of three, with a little one on the way!  He sent me a thank-you card and $100.  I’ll be paying for a hotel on the trip, by the way.  I can go as high as 3-star, no higher.”

     Dean grinned despite himself.  “Awesome!  I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

     “Sure… text me the address, and I’ll meet you there.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

***Ember POV***

Friday, October 30, Evening

     “I gotta say,” Dean said late the next day, “I’m really glad this case has hit a dead end for now.”  Dean was relaxing in the hotel’s hot tub with his eyes closed, giving Ember the opportunity to glance freely at his bare chest.  He looked so relaxed that she almost felt as though she was invading him in a private moment.  Hot tubs were a luxury for her, but she was at least used to an apartment complex rather than a variety of flea-bitten motels.

     “Agreed,” she said.  “For a second there, I was afraid we wouldn’t have time for the pool or hot tub.”  Dean opened his eyes again, just long enough to take a long, smoldering look at her breasts, then closed them again.  He had been doing that a lot, and it was making her feel as though she was on display, though not altogether in a bad way.

     “So what do you and Bobby usually get up to on Halloween?” Dean asked conversationally.

     “Well, two years ago we exorcised a pair of demons that thought they’d jump in on the trick-or-treating,” Ember answered.

     Dean laughed.  “What did they dress up as?”

     “A ballerina and a vampire.”

     Dean snorted, his eyes flying open.  “A ballerina?  Seriously?”

     “Looked like a bargain bin costume,” Ember said, laughing.  “I don’t think the demon knew what it had dressed up as.  I think they were in the neighborhood, got wind of me, and bought the first costumes they found thinking it was a clever idea to get in the door.”

     “And did they get in the door?”

     Ember grinned.  “Yeah, that’s when the fun started.”

     Dean was silent for a second, then said seriously, “You’d be a good hunter, you know.”

     Ember, who had been relaxing, turned her eyes toward him, silently asking a question.

     “You’re quick, you clearly attract trouble, and you still manage to make light of it.”

     Ember thought that Dean might be talking about himself, as well as her.  It surprised her that he was willing to discuss this so early in their friendship. 

     “Like you?” Ember asked, and Dean smiled slightly.

     Suddenly Dean’s phone began to ring, making both Dean and Ember jump.  Ember could hear Sam’s voice through the phone.  “Another death, this time a high school girl,” he was saying.  “She was bobbing for apples, and the water suddenly started boiling, they’re saying.  Police just called.  You coming?”

     And, they were off again.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     As it turned out, the case apparently did involve a demon.  Apparently the witch in question was attempting to summon the demon of Halloween, Samhain, as Sam Winchester discovered later that night while going through the lore.

     “We’d understand if you wanted to leave,” Sam told her before they went to bed that night.  “This wasn’t what you signed on for.”

     “Well, with any luck, we’ll find the witch and I won’t need to worry about it,” Ember said.  “But until that point, I was right – you guys are gonna need me.”  A knock came, and Ember rose to answer the door.  “Excellent!  My cot bed is here.”

     “Cot bed?” Dean and Sam asked at the same time.

     “Duh, cot bed,” Ember answered.  “This room has two beds, and there’s three of us.”  She wheeled the cot into the room and began setting it up, thanking room service.

     “Ember, you didn’t need to-…” Sam started.

     “Don’t be stupid,” Ember answered.  “The cot bed is six feet long.  Both of you are taller than that.”

     Sam opened his mouth to speak again, but Dean said, “You could always just share my bed.”

     Ember looked him up and down slowly, this time making it extremely obvious, then turned away.  “Nah.”

     “Why not?”  Dean said indignantly, as Sam tried (and failed) to hold in his laughter.

     Ember grinned, smiling at him flirtatiously.  “’Cause I don’t want to be thrown out with the linens in the morning,” she said, and tossed her hair over her shoulder on the way to the bathroom.

     “She got you, dude!” Sam’s laughter echoed through the bathroom door. 

     When Ember came out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, however, Dean was asleep on the cot.    

***Dean POV***

Saturday, October 31, Morning

     It was late the next morning before Dean finally dared bring up last night’s conversation.  He and Ember were sitting companionably in the Impala on a stake-out, making their way slowly through the Halloween candy found with the first death.

     “So…” Dean said, looking for the right words.  “About last night… can I ask who told you that I’m…”

     “A man-whore?” Ember asked, laughing.

     Dean almost choked on his candy.  He had been going for “promiscuous”, but he couldn’t deny that he would appreciate the “man-whore” description in other circumstances.

     “Bobby,” Ember answered.  “And, Bobby again.  And Sam.  And then Bobby again, before I came this weekend.”

     “Sam’s almost as bad,” Dean said indignantly.

     “Yeah, Bobby mentioned that too,” Ember said, laughing again.

     “So… so Sam said… you have to kind of atone for being half-demon,” Dean said, venturing into more serious territory but still continuing the same train of thought.  “So, what, you never have any fun?  You never, you know, let your hair down a little?”

     Ember laughed.  “Are you asking if I’m a virgin?”

     “Are you?” Dean asked.  He hadn’t been asking that exactly, but the possibility had occurred to him.

     Ember scoffed.  “Don’t be stupid, I’m 25.  And yes, I have fun.  Just, probably not as much fun as you have, and not with as many fun people.”  That was good to know, thought Dean.  If she had been a virgin, he definitely would’ve given up the chase.

     “They make it sound like I’m… I don’t know, unable to have a serious relationship,” Dean said, pouting.

     “Aren’t you?” she asked, and the way she looked at him, her brown eyes wide and innocent, made him wish more than anything in the world that he could say no.

     “I could have a relationship,” Dean answered.  “It’s just… hunting… this life doesn’t exactly lend itself to that kind of lifestyle,” he said honestly.  “I mean, with most girls… what am I going to say?  ‘I’m going demon-hunting this weekend, I’ll be home when people stop dying?’  There’s a foundation for a solid relationship.”

     “Fair point,” Ember said, then added, “It’s not easy for me, either.”

     Dean looked at her, urging her to continue.

     “What would my boyfriend say?  ‘Hey, honey, you know there’s a corpse on the floor, right?’”  Ember mocked.  “And I’d respond, ‘Yeah, it’s cool, it’s just a demon.  He broke in here because he thought I smelled sexy, but I shot him in the chest until he found another host.’”

     Dean laughed dryly.  “Has that happened?”

     “Only when I was younger, before Bobby taught me how to exorcise them,” Ember said.  She rolled her eyes.  “Normally if I have a boyfriend, the demons just stow away in him.  It’s easier, and demons are lazy.  I can always tell, though.”

     “Shit, and I thought I had it bad,” Dean said.  He wondered at Ember’s ability to make light of what he knew must have been horrors in her past, though he knew better than to voice this aloud.

     Ember shrugged, and the two were silent for awhile, until another topic emerged. 

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean was just on his way into the hotel room when he heard Sam shout, “Who are you?”

     Dean spotted Castiel, and vaulted into the hotel room ahead of Sam.  “Sam!  Sam, wait!  It’s Castiel… the angel.”  There was another man in the room too, a black man.  “Him I don’t know.”

     “Hello, Sam.”  Castiel replied in his deep voice.

     “Oh my God!” Sam responded, clearly at a loss for words.  “Er, uh… I didn’t mean to… sorry.  It’s an honor.  Really, I’ve heard a lot about you.”  Sam attempted to shake Castiel’s hand, which Castiel returned reluctantly.

     “And I, you,” Castiel said.  “Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood.  Glad to hear you’ve ceased your extracurricular activities.”  Castiel turned to Ember, who was still in the corner, looking quizzically at the angel.  For a second, Castiel looked quizzically back.  Finally, in his deep monotone voice, Castiel asked, “Dean, why have you not killed the half-demon?”

     Ember drew out her revolver, and Castiel in turn drew his angel blade.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Sam and Dean screamed.  “Everybody put the weapons down!”  Ember and Castiel both reluctantly lowered their weapons, staring daggers at each other, each poised to strike. 

     “Ember is a friend,” Dean said to Castiel.  “She’s helping us with the case.”

     “But she’s half-demon.”  It wasn’t a question.  “She will kill us all.”

     “No, she won’t!” Dean said. 

     “I’ve never killed anyone I could save,” Ember spat at him.  The angel seemed taken aback by this, and looked at Dean for clarification.

     “She’s a friend, Castiel.  We’re all friends here.  Cas, put that away.  Ember, your revolver won’t work on him anyway.”  A beat passed, then another.  Slowly, at the same time, Ember and Castiel both put away their weapons.  Then Castiel made to approach her, looking at her quizzically.  She shrank back, putting her hand up to stop Castiel with her invisible force if needed, and Dean moved to stand between Ember and his angel friend.

     “I won’t kill you,” the angel promised.  “I won’t hurt you, either, just keep your hands to your sides.  I just want to look inside your mind, to judge you.  It may make things easier for everyone.”

     Dean looked at Ember questioningly.  “And what if you judge me unworthy?” Ember asked the angel.

     Castiel thought for a moment, then said, “I will inform you before I kill you.”

     Ember thought for a second, then sighed, and nodded to Dean, who moved out of the way.  Castiel took two fingers and stretched them out to Ember’s head, allowing them to linger there for a minute.

     Ember screwed up her face in expectation, but when Castiel’s fingers touched her head she opened her eyes again, staring up at his fingers curiously, her eyes crossing.

     Castiel removed his fingers, stepping back away from Ember.  “Very curious,” he said.  “You have maintained control of your demon powers.  You have never made a kill that was not a demon.  You have even spared the host, when you could manage it.  I must consult with my superiors about whether or not we should kill you.  But, do not fear, it will not be today.  We have other matters to attend to.  This raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?”

     Ember looked at Dean quizzically, who caught her eye and shrugged while Sam answered the angel’s question.  “Angels,” he said.  “They’re weird like that.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---    

***Ember POV***

Sunday, November 1, Early Morning

    Ember, Dean, and Sam had failed to save the seal.  The three of them had barged in on the art teacher, who had the blond cheerleader strung up from the ceiling to use as a sacrifice.  Dean had shot and killed the art teacher, but then the blond cheerleader had revealed that she, too, was a witch, throwing all three of them back.  And that was how Ember found out that witches were immune to her powers.

     It was Sam, ultimately, who had exorcised Samhain, with only the use of his mind.  This scared Ember more than anything she had yet seen.

     It took her several hours to corner Sam alone, but she finally managed it, when Dean made a run to go get food for the next morning.  “Look, Sam,” she started, then sighed.  “Fuck it.  I’m not skirting around this issue.  Does Dean know you’re drinking demon blood?”

     Sam froze in the process of folding a shirt.  “How did you know?”

     “You’ve told me you were fed demon blood when you were a baby, by Azazel.  That should give you some powers, but I wasn’t aware that exorcising demons with your mind was in your repertoire.”  Her tone had become sarcastic.  “It’s that demon that was with you when I met you, wasn’t it?  The one that ran away from me?  You told Dean you didn’t know she was a demon.”

     Sam had the decency to look ashamed of himself.

     “Sam, did it not occur to you that I came to you on Halloween to protect myself from demons?” she snapped at him, and he finally faced her.

    Ember stalked Sam across the room, her anger palpable.  “Now I know you’ve convinced Dean that you’ll be fine as long as you don’t use the demon powers,” she continued, “but we both know he has no idea how you got them in the first place.  And maybe you’ve even convinced yourself that you’ll be able to control it.”  She came closer to him, using her powers to force him against the wall, and he didn’t resist.  “Do you know how easy it would be for me to drink some demon blood and smite everyone who tries to get at me?  But I don’t do it.  Do you know why?  Because I’ll end up becoming like them.  And you will too.  And where does that leave me when I come to visit, hmmm?  Did you think about that?  How much demon blood will you drink before you turn into that?”

     The look that Sam gave Ember then was one of fear, and in that second Ember realized something else.  “That’s why you’ve been sending me off with Dean all weekend, isn’t it?  At the pool, and again at the stake-out?  It’s not because you think we’re a good match… It’s because you can feel the effect the demon blood has on you when I’m around, and it scares you, because you know if you drink much more you won’t be able to control yourself.”

     Sam looked back at her, hurt.  “Ember, how can you think… You must know I would never try to…”

     “Of course I know that!” she snapped.  “I’ve heard stories about the two of you since I was 15, from Bobby.  But demon blood, Sam?  What are you thinking?”

     Sam looked down at his hands.  “I stopped doing it.”

     “What?” Ember asked, surprised.  She could tell he wasn’t lying.  She backed up from him, and he slumped somewhat against the wall.

     “I stopped,” he said.  “I did it for awhile, but I stopped, about 3 weeks ago, because it scared me… just like you’re saying.  It just… hasn’t left my system yet completely.”

     Ember searched him for signs of lying, but found none, and sighed, finally releasing him both physically and mentally from his place against the wall.  “It’ll take longer than a few weeks,” she said.  

     Sam nodded.  “That’s what she said… Ruby, is her name.  She said it’ll be months before the demon blood is out of my system entirely, if ever.  But I can already feel it lessening, each day.  And also… Dean knows about her now.  About Ruby, I mean.”

     “Yeah?” Ember said, curious now.  “How did he handle it?”

     “Exactly like you’d expect,” Sam said, rolling his eyes.  “It’s pretty tense.  But neither of them have killed the other one, so that’s probably best case scenario.”

     Ember laughed.  “I still don’t like it, Sam.  You told me online that she saved you, but a demon is a demon… they’re bad, all around.”    

     “You’re not,” he pointed out, a big grin on his face.

     Ember rolled her eyes, nudging him in the shoulder.  “Half-demon, remember?”

     Sam nodded, returning to his work folding the shirt.

     “Look, just promise me one thing,” Ember said.

     “Yeah?” Sam asked.

     “If I see you and Dean again… be honest with me about how long ago you’ve had the demon blood, and about how much you’ve had.  I can’t risk… well, I can’t risk anything happening because you’ve… overdosed.”

     Sam nodded.  “That’s more than fair.  I promise.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

***Dean POV***

Sunday, November 1, Early morning

     Dean was not the least bit surprised when Castiel joined him to debrief the next morning, as he sat on a bench in the park.  What did surprise him, however, was Castiel’s first question.

     “Your friend is interesting.”

     Dean scoffed.  “Have you decided whether or not to kill her?”

     Castiel paused.  “My superiors will watch her, but for now they have determined that she does not pose a threat and may in fact be helpful to our cause.”

     “Too bad you pissed her off, then, isn’t it?” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

     “She understands our initial hesitation.  Half-demons are extremely rare, and usually very powerful.  Finding one that has not indulged in that power for demonic purposes is rare and special indeed.”

     Dean nodded, but sensed there was something else Castiel wanted to discuss.  It was a full minute before Castiel finally said, “She makes me feel funny, and I don’t like it.”

     “Are you trying to tell me you desire her?” Dean asked in amazement.

     “No,” Castiel said immediately in his deep voice.  “Angels do not desire humans, and they certainly do not desire demons.”

     Dean rolled his eyes.  “Whatever, Castiel.”

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

November 6, Evening

     Ember and Dean had been talking on and off through text message, but he didn’t call again until November 6^th.

     “Hey!  Are you super busy?” he asked when she picked up the phone.

     “Well, for you guys I’m free,” said Ember.  She’d been hoping to relax a bit that evening, as it had been a long day at work, but she was excited that he had called.  “Where are you guys?”

     “Concrete, Washington,” Dean said.  “We found a wishing well that actually works.”

     “Seriously?  Tell me you didn’t actually make a wish.”

     Dean laughed.  “Well, I wished for a sandwich to test it out.  That was a mistake.”  Now that she thought about it, he did sound a little sickly.  “Anyway, would you mind looking something up for me?”

     “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

     “We traced the wishing well back to this little restaurant.  There was a coin in it that was stuck to the bottom, and we couldn’t get it off.  We tried a crow bar and everything.  I’m sending you a picture… can you see if you can identify it for me?”

     “No problem.  Where’s Sam?  Or Bobby?  Don’t they usually do this kind of thing?”

     “Bobby’s still dealing with that demon thing with Rufus, and I don’t know about Sam.  He said he had something he had to take care of.  If he’s off doing stuff with his demon powers, I swear I’ll kick his ass.”

     Ember laughed darkly.  “You and me both.  Hold on, I’m searching around.  I’ll call you back, okay?”

     But Ember heard a groan, and Dean hung up.

     Ember searched for about twenty minutes before she found the coin in question.  She called Dean back twice, but there was no answer.  Finally, he called her back.

     “You okay?”

     “Yeah,” he said, giving a cough.  “The wishes turn bad, like I said.  What’d you find?”

     “The coin was Babylonian.  It’s cursed,” Ember told him.  “The snake is Tiamat, which is the Babylonian god of primordial chaos.  It looks like the ancient priests cursed it.  Whoever made this website has a few theories about places in history that were affected by a coin like the one you’ve got.”

     “Does it say anything about how to get rid of it?  Or even get it off the wishing well?”

     “Everything here says you have to go back to the first wisher.  I’m sending Sam the link over instant messenger for when he gets back.  Maybe he can make heads or tails of it.”

     “Hey, thanks for your help, Ember.”  Dean was silent for a few seconds, then he said suavely, “What would you wish for if you could make a wish, and if it was guaranteed to not turn bad?”

     Ember laughed.  “This is hypothetical, right?”

     Dean laughed.  “Yeah, judging by the sandwich, it’s definitely hypothetical.”

     “In that case, I’d wish to not attract demons anymore.  Or…  maybe I’d just wish there weren’t any demons at all.  What about you?”

     There was silence on the other end of the line.  Then Dean said suavely, “I’d wish for one night with you, sexy.”

     Ember laughed.  “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

     “Definitely,” Dean said.

***Dean POV***

November 15, Daytime

Dean Cell Phone:  Ember:  Happy Birthday!

Ember Cell Phone:  Thanks Dean!  How did you know it was my birthday?

Dean Cell Phone:  Facebook?

Ember Cell Phone:  You’re never on facebook.

Dean Cell Phone:  OK, Fine.  Sam told me.  He says happy birthday too.

     “Are you texting Ember again?” Sam asked from the other side of their dingy motel room.

     “No,” Dean responded.

     “Yes you are.”

     “How do you know?”
     “Because unless you’re working, which we both know you’re not, you’re texting Ember.  You talk to her way more often than I do these days.”

     “Good,” Dean said, before he could stop himself.  He was too busy with his phone to catch Sam’s look of surprise.

Ember Cell Phone:  Thanks!  What do I get for my birthday?

Dean Cell Phone:  What do you want?  Pick your poison.

     “Why don’t you just ask her to go somewhere with you?” Sam asked.

     “Where would we go?” Dean responded.  ‘Hey, Ember, d’ya want to let Sam stay at your place for a weekend?  You and him can switch places and we can go have large amounts of sex in really shitty motel rooms.’  Besides, she’s half-demon, remember?”

     “Are you honestly telling me that if she was sitting there naked on the bed that you would tell her, ‘Oh, sorry, you’re half-demon, I can’t have sex with you.’”

     “Well, no, I’d tell you to screw off for a few hours,” Dean admitted.

Ember Cell Phone:  A few less demons in the world would be nice.

Dean Cell Phone:  Well that’s a given.  I was thinking something a little more… pleasurable.

     “Jesus, are you sexting with her?” Sam asked.  “You’ve got that look you get when you’ve sent a dick pic.”

     “Shut up, bitch.  I didn’t send her a dick pic.”

     “That’s even worse!  You actually like her enough not to send her a dick pic!”

     Dean put down the phone.  “Are we actually going to talk about this?”

Ember Cell Phone:  That sounds great!  I would totally love some c=======3 

Dean Cell Phone:  … I’m definitely your man then…

Ember Cell Phone:  Ah, if only that were true, then we might really be able to go somewhere sexy with this conversation. 

     “Sexting not going well?” Sam asked, watching Dean’s facial expressions.

     “Jesus, don’t you have lore to be reading, or porn to be watching or something!”

     Sam was laughing.  “Oh, poor Dean.  He has a smart, funny woman who is beautiful, who knows what we do for a living, and who is damn good at killing demons herself, and she wants a relationship.  God you’re a fucking jerk.”

     “Shut up, bitch!”

***Ember POV***

November 20, Ridiculously Early Morning

     Dean had made tentative plans to visit with Ember the following weekend, but a case had come up at the last second which had taken him to Oregon instead.  The next time Ember saw him was near the end of November.  Ruby had tipped off Sam and Dean about the existence of a woman named Anna, an escaped mental patient who was locked up after going into hysterics about the apocalypse.

     “Get this - she knows everything!  Everything that’s happened so far, with Lilith, and the breaking of the seals,” Dean said to Ember on the phone.  It was 4:00 AM, and the phone was a burner phone, and Ember didn’t recognize the number.  She’d known immediately, therefore, that it would be one of the brothers.  “I guess she heard the angels in her head, and she tried to warn people, and it didn’t go so well.  But the demons have killed her parents.  They tried to kill us, too, but... well,.. you know how that goes.  Anyway, Castiel and another angel came here to track down Anna, but she banished them.  I’m not sure how she did it, I’ve never seen the sigil she made before.  We don’t have any idea who she is, or where she’s from, but we know she’s important, so we’re going to try to find out more.  Something big is going down, and the Midwest is full of heavy-hitting demons at the moment.  We’re heading back to South Dakota, to Bobby’s panic room.  I could pick you up on the way, if you like.”

     “Ember?” said Sam’s voice in the background.  “Dean, give me the phone for a sec.”

     Apparently Dean passed the phone to Sam, because the voice they heard next was Sam’s.  “Listen, Dean’s not going to tell you this, but we could really use you.  There are some demons after us with some serious mojo.  And I hate to ask, I really do, but I…”

     “You’re not as strong, because you haven’t been on the blood?” Ember whispered, sighing.

     “Yeah,” Sam whispered.  “And Ruby’s here, too.  I wanted to tell you before you get here.  But she’s safe, I promise.  She already ran from you once, remember?”

     Ember was silent for a minute, then said, “Damn it.  I’m gonna regret this.”  She sighed again, then steeled herself.  “When will you be around?  I’ve got some stuff I have to finish up at work, but I can get it done if I go in really early.  I can be ready to go by about 9:30.”

     It was Dean’s voice that answered again.  “Awesome, that should be right around the time I get there anyway.  I’ll see you soon.”

November 21, Late Afternoon

***Ember POV***

     Dean and Anna picked Ember up at 9:30 AM on the morning of the 20th, while Sam and Ruby went to recover the Impala, which had been ditched the night before.  When the group reconvened in Bobby’s panic room, they realized they needed Pamela, their psychic friend in the Midwest.  They made arrangments to meet Pamela at a halfway point.  This time, Sam and Ruby stayed to watch Anna, and Ember rode with Dean to pick up Pamela.  They hoped that their blind psychic friend might be able to shed some light on Anna’s past through hypnosis. 

     The car ride with Dean and Pamela was extremely enjoyable.  Ember found herself flirting with Dean more than ever, and Pamela laughed along with both of them.  “Jesus, get a room!” she said several times.

     “I would, if she’d let me,” Dean sauced back, and Ember laughed. 

     It was late in the day on the 21st by the time Pamela finally arrived back at Bobby’s.  Things turned sour the moment the hypnosis with Anna was completed, however.  “I’m an angel,” she said.  “Don’t be afraid.  I’m not like the others.”

     “I don’t find that very reassuring,” said Ruby.

     “Neither do I,” answered Pamela.

     “So… Castiel… Uriel… they’re the ones that came for me?” Anna questioned.

     “You know them?” Sam asked.

     “We were… kinda in the same foxhole.”

     “So what, they’re like your bosses or something?” Dean asked.

     “Try the other way around,” Anna answered.  Ember had to admit, she was on the same side as Ruby and Pamela.  She had a very bad feeling about Anna.  She couldn’t explain it.  Perhaps it was her initial distaste of Castiel (and immense dislike of Uriel), or perhaps she simply didn’t like the way Anna was looking at Dean.  This new news that Anna used to be a high-ranking angel was even more unwelcome.

     “Look at you,” Dean answered, nodding at Anna.  Ember would have quite liked to stab her.

     “Now they want to kill you?” asked Pamela.

     “Orders are orders,” Anna answered.  “I’m sure I have a death sentence on my head.”

     “Why?” Pam asked.

     “I disobeyed,” Anna replied.  “Which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do.  I fell.”

     “Meaning?” Dean asked.

     “She fell to Earth.  Became human,” filled in Pamela.

     “Wait a minute, I don’t understand,” Sam questioned.  “So angels can just become human?”

     “It kind of hurts,” Anna answered.  “Try cutting your kidney out with a butter knife.  That kind of hurt.  I ripped out my grace.”

     “Come again?” Dean asked.

     “My grace.  It’s… energy.  I hacked it out and fell.  My mother, Amy, couldn’t get pregnant.  Always called me her little miracle.  She had no idea how right she was.”

     “So, you just… forgot that you were God’s little power ranger?” Dean asked.

     “The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah,” Anna answered.

     “I don’t think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are,” Ruby said, and Ember was relieved (for once) to hear the demon.

     “Ruby’s right,” Anna admitted.  “Heaven wants me dead.”

     “And Hell just… wants her,” Ruby continued.  “A flesh and blood angel that you can question, torture… that bleeds.  Sister, you’re the Stanley cup!  And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they’re gonna find you.”

     “Not only that,” Ember said, “You guys forget.  I’m practically a beacon for supernatural energy.  I’m shocked they’re not gathering around like zombies.  I should go.”

     “No,” Dean said, “By now they’ll know you’re with us.  If they can’t get to us, they’ll get to you the moment you’re alone.  And it won’t just be one or two of them.”

     “He’s right,” Anna said.  “And that’s why… I’m gonna get it back.  My grace.”

***Ember POV***

November 22, Late Night

     The group had hoped that they would find Anna’s grace in Kentucky, but they had had no such luck.  Even worse, the angels had threatened to throw Dean back into Hell if nobody had turned over Anna by midnight that night. 

     Ember was tucked into a corner of the group of abandoned sheds where they were all staying when Sam came in to search further through the stack of books she had brought with her.  “Ember!” he said, greeting her.  “Any luck?”

     “Not even the slightest,” Ember admitted.  “You?”

     “No,” Sam said.

     “So, what’s your demon girlfriend think about this whole angel thing?”

     Sam grimaced, and averted his eyes.  “She’s not a fan, I can tell you that much.”

     Ember smiled.  “She thinks you ought to ditch the angel, doesn’t she?”

     “Yeah,” Sam admitted.  “But I’m not entertaining the idea.”

     Ember nodded.  “Well, I’m not surprised.  She is a demon.”

     “You’re half demon,” Sam replied.  “Is that what you think?”

     “No,” Ember said.  “You wouldn’t be the Winchesters if you didn’t try to help her.  Besides, it sounds like she was right to run from those militant goons.”  Ember paused.  “I have to admit, though, I’m not a real fan of her.  I’ll be glad when she’s gone back to wherever angels go when they’re on the run from other angels.”

     “What have you got against her?” Sam asked.

     It was Ember’s turn to avoid his eyes.  “I don’t know, I just have a bad feeling about this whole situation.”  A bad feeling that had gotten worse the longer Anna had been around them.  Ember had definitely caught her staring at Dean a few times when she thought nobody was looking.

     “Sure,” Sam said, smiling, and Ember knew he wasn’t fooled.

      Ember changed the subject.  “So you’re off demon blood, then?”

     “I’ve kept my promise,” he said, choosing a few more books from the pile.

     “I can tell,” Ember said.  “Is demon-girl okay with that?”

     Sam looked up, irritated.  “She has a name, you know.  I’d think you, of all people, would treat her with a little more acceptance.  Especially today, when we’re all teamed up together.”

     Ember sighed.  “You’re probably right,” she admitted.  “It’s just… with everything that I’ve been through with demons, it’s a mark of your good word about her that I don’t throw her against the wall when I see her.  But… I suppose you’re probably right.  Me, of all people, probably should give her a chance.”

     Sam looked at Ember, quirking a surprised smile.  “Thanks,” he said.  “If we get through the next 24 hours, that’ll mean a lot to me.”

     “You really kind of like her, don’t you?”

     He nodded, slowly.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “I still can’t get past the demon thing myself, maybe.  But… she was human once… so maybe.”  He paused.  “You really like Dean, don’t you?”

     Ember paused.  “I’m starting to, yeah.”  There was another pause.  “Speaking of Dean, do you know where he is?” Ember asked.  “I couldn’t find him earlier.”

     “I’d go check outside,” Sam said.  “He was looking at maps the last time I saw him.”

     “Thanks,” Ember said.

     When Ember went outside, however, it took her awhile to find the Impala.  It was oddly parked, in a grove of trees nearly a half a block away from the group of abandoned houses.  And when she got closer, she felt her heart dive upon spotting Anna in the Impala… naked.  And as she continued to look, her heart continued to dive further.

November 22, Later Night

***Dean POV***

    “So what’s this plan of yours?” Dean asked, guiding Anna back into the living room.  It was a shame; this was only the second time he’d had sex since hell.  God, he’d needed that.  He sighed.  Just in time to go back to hell. 

     “Where’s Ember?” Anna asked, and Dean looked around, too, and noticed that she was gone.

     “I don’t know,” Sam confessed.  “I haven’t seen her in an hour or so.”  He looked at Dean.  “Last time I saw her, she was looking for you.”

     Dean’s heart dove.  He had thought about Ember before he had sex with Anna, of course.  He had spent the last month or so trying to chase Ember, and he had really hoped that it would be she who would have sex with him during his last night on Earth.  But, when it was so readily offered elsewhere, he was not the type of guy to turn it down.  Surely she would understand that, he thought. 

     “Her stuff is gone, too,” said Ruby.

     Dean felt his stomach plummet, and gave Anna a guilty look.  Anna caught it, and narrowed her eyes.  “Were you seeing her?”  Anna demanded.

     “No,” Dean said, but nobody was convinced.

     Ruby was the only one who spoke, however:  “Jesus, you’re an idiot.”

***Dean POV***

November 23, Morning

Dean Cell Phone:  Hey… Tried to call you, but you’re not picking up.  Just so you know, we got things figured out with the angels and the demons.  They ended up fighting each other.  Anna got her grace back and she’s gone.

Ember Cell Phone:  Thx 4 letting know.

***Dean POV***

November 23, Evening

Dean Cell Phone:  Look, I’m sorry about Anna. 

Ember Cell Phone:  No, it’s cool.  Last night on Earth.  I get it.  Plus, she’s more your type.

Dean Cell Phone:  More my type?

Ember Cell Phone:  Easy.

     “Not going well, then?” Sam asked, driving the Impala down the road.

     “Nah,” Dean said.

     “Can you blame her?” Sam asked him.  “You guys weren’t together, but you both knew it was headed there.”

     Dean thought for a moment.  It had been his last day on Earth, he’d thought at the time.  Still, how many “last nights on Earth” had he had?  More than a few. 

     Which, truth be told, was part of the problem.  Truthfully, he didn’t deserve Ember.

     He hadn’t deserved Anna, either, and look how the universe was apparently punishing him for that.  He thought briefly about trying to explain himself, about what he went through in Hell, and what he’d been facing again… but the thought was fleeting and gone in a moment.  Ember didn’t need that, and he didn’t really want to explain it.  He hadn’t wanted to discuss Hell with Sam, and he certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Ember.
     “Probably better it happened now rather than later,” Dean said out loud to Sam.  “We’re both better off this way.”

     “Okay,” said Sam, dubiously.

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

December 27, Late Night

ONE MONTH LATER

     Clackclackclackclack.  Clackclackclack.  Dean couldn’t sleep.  Again.  It wasn’t a surprise – he’d rarely slept, ever since he got back from hell.

     Clackclackclack.  “Dude!  What are you doing?  I’m trying to sleep!” Dean groaned into the air.

     “You used to be able to sleep through anything,” came Sam’s voice sarcastically.  “Relax.  I’m just shooting a message to Ember, and then I’m going to sleep.”

     “Ember?” Dean asked, his eyes flying open.  He turned toward Sam and said nonchalantly, “I didn’t realize you… still talked to her.”

     Sam paused.  “I never really stopped talking to her,” he said.  “Ember and I are friends, man.  We have a lot in common.”

     “Like what?” Dean asked.  He had felt a stab of jealousy which was both unexpected and uncomfortable.

     “Uh, like, we both have demon issues,” Sam said, staring at Dean with suspicion.  “And, we both like to read…”

     Oh.  That should have been obvious.  “Right, yeah.  How’s she doing?”

     Sam arched an eyebrow.  “You know, if you bothered to call her, or text her, she’d probably talk to you.  You thought it was your last night on Earth, dude!  What you did was sleazy, but not unforgiveable.”

     “I told you, man, it’s better this way.”  Dean gave Sam a big grin.  “Makes me a free agent.  I’m single and ready to mingle.”

     Sam shut his computer and gave Dean a look that said he wanted to discuss the situation.  “Dean, if this is about what happened in Hell-…”

     “Dude.”  Dean said, fixing Sam with a poisonous glare.  “I said I’m trying to sleep.” 

     But Sam fell asleep long before Dean did.

***Ember POV***

February 6, Early evening

6 WEEKS LATER

     “Listen, I know how you feel about Dean,” Bobby said over the phone.  “And I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need you.”

     Ember groaned.  “But surely the siren can’t fool both of them at once,” Ember said.  “Like, even if Dean gets suckered in by her charms, Sam will sort things out, won’t he?”

     “I wouldn’t bet on that,” Bobby said.  “I wouldn’t put it past this bitch to play both of them at once.  I mean, c’mon, we already know she’s pretending to be a stripper.  You know as well as I do that both those idgits are doomed.  And you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can tell who the siren is by looking.  And now the FBI’s sent in another one of their goons…”

     “Shit,” Ember said.  She doused the small flame of excitement that rose up at the opportunity to see Dean again, and concentrated on the strong desire to throw her phone out of anger.  She’d already been hurt by Dean once.  “Fine,” she snapped, “I’ll grab a plane later tonight.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Once Ember arrived in Bedford, Iowa, she had tried Sam first, but he hadn’t picked up the phone.  Reluctantly, Ember tried Dean.  Dean picked up on the first ring.  “Ember!  Hey, how are you?  Are you in town?”

     “Yeah.  I tried Sam, but he’s not picking up.”

     Dean gave a frustrated groan from the other end.  “Yeah, he’s not picking up for me either.  I thought this case would be easy, but maybe Bobby was right to send you.  Hold on, I’m coming to you.”

     “Okay.”

     Twenty minutes later, Dean pulled up to the airport.  He looked as good as Ember remembered, if maybe harder around the edges, and she could feel her heart turn over and plummet to her feet.

     Ember wasted no time on pleasantries after climbing into the Impala.  “Any word from Sam?” she asked.

     “Bupkis,” he answered. 

     “Where did you see him last?”

     “At the Taylor County Medical Center, looking into the blood samples of the people who were infected by the siren.  I went with Nick, from the FBI, to the strip club to keep him busy and to see if we could find the siren there.”

     Ember laughed.  “I’ll just bet you did.”

     Dean ignored her comment.  “But I checked the Medical Center before I came to get you, and he’s not there.  And I checked the hotel before that; he’s not there either.”

     Ember could tell Dean was frantic, and she was beginning to worry, herself.  It wasn’t like Sam not to answer the phone.  “And you have no idea where he is, or who the siren is?”

     Dean screwed up his face.  “Well, Nick saw flower petals at the crime scene where the last man murdered his mother.  And there were some flowers like that in the office of one Dr. Cara Roberts at the Medical Center, where we went to get the results.”

     Suddenly, Dean got a call on his cell.  “Sam!  Where the hell have you been? … Oh, it’s ‘Cara’ now.  And you’re not picking up your phone.  …  Yeah, I’ll bet.”  Dean’s face was looking more and more severe as he continued his conversation.

     “Nick found flower petals at the crime scene.  Hyacynths.”  A long pause.  “Hyacynths?  Meditteranean?  From the island where the whole freaking siren myth started in the first place?  Sam, Cara had hyacinth flowers.”

     There was a long pause, during which Dean’s frown got deeper.  “Well, I did a little checking up on her.  She’s only been in town for two months.  … And she has an ex-husband.  A dead ex-husband, Carl Roberts.  Dropped like a stone, no warning, supposedly a heart attack.”

    Another long pause, and Dean shot Ember a frustrated glare, still speaking into the phone.  “You’re kidding me… and what makes you so sure? … A hunch?  I’m giving you cold, hard facts here, and you’re giving me a hunch?  …  Did you sleep with her?”

Ember Cell Phone:  Bobby, you’re right.  They’re in way over their heads.

***Dean POV***

February 6, 2017 Later evening

     Dean had forgotten how amazingly hot Ember was.  In their three months apart, it seemed she had just gotten more attractive.  Her hair was longer, and she seemed just a little bit thinner.  She wore a black hoodie and jeans, but somehow to him this made her seem all the more attractive.

     But now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that.  “I think it’s got Sam under its spell,” he said.  “Which means the best idea at this point is for us to kill it before we see him again.  We’ve got to find Cara.”

     First Dean and Ember looked at Cara’s house, which was on the outside of town.  While they drove, they chatted about their lives, and their jobs, and ultimately fell into a comfortable silence.  Cara wasn’t at her house, however, so Dean called the Medical Center to see if anyone knew where she spent time after hours.  “They said she hangs out at the Pub on 45^th and Simmons,” Dean said when he got off the phone.  “That’s all the way back in town.  I’m gonna call Nick and have him keep an eye on her so we don’t miss her.  We’ll meet him there.”

     “Okay, cool.”  And with that, they headed back the 45 minutes into town.

     “So,” Dean said, turning down the radio and attempting conversation, “If a siren came to you in disguise as the perfect man, what would that look like?”

     A blush colored Ember’s cheeks, but she said nothing for a long time.  Finally she answered, “I’m not sure, really.  I guess they would definitely be understanding about the whole demon thing.  And they should probably be able to protect themselves a little bit, too.  The tattoo wouldn’t hurt.  And… you know, they should be funny.  And have a good set of morals.  And… and not be a dick.”  She averted her eyes, looking out the window.  “How about you?”

     Dean sighed.  He knew he wouldn’t have a better opportunity than this to make things right between them.  “Look, Ember, I’m sorry about Anna.”

     Ember jumped, but still didn’t look at him.  “That was three months ago.  It doesn’t matter.”

     “It obviously does, or we would’ve talked in the last three months,” Dean said with more force than he had intended.  He didn’t wait for her to interrupt him, but continued on.  “Look, if I’d thought that I’d had even half a chance with you, I might’ve thought twice about what happened.”

     Ember’s head whipped around so fast it nearly made him jump in surprise.  “Look, it’s cool, really.  I mean, it was your last night on Earth, supposedly.  Like I said, I get it.”  She was silent for awhile, but then she spoke again, as if she couldn’t help it.  “Here’s what I don’t get, though, okay?  Here’s what I don’t get.  We’d been flirting for nearly a month.  We talked all the time.  You were even going to come visit me, until that ghost in Oregon happened.  You had to know that if you’d said something that night…”  She looked away from him, then once again turned her head to stare at him venomously.  “I mean, c’mon Dean, we thought it was your last night on Earth.  All you would’ve had to do would’ve been to ask me.  I’m not easy, but I’m not a prude either.  But instead, I find you in the Impala with Anna.  I mean, what the fuck?  Was it the demon thing?  And if so, why even bother flirting with me all that time?  Or, are you really that scared of a relationship, that you’d hedge your bets and fuck it up just in case you made it out alive?  Or, were you planning on sleeping with both of us?  Because I get the whole ‘last night on Earth’ thing, but that’s going a little far.”

     Something inside Dean snapped.  Maybe it was being worried about Sam, or maybe it was because he hadn’t been laid since Anna (and he was still paying for that one), or perhaps it was not being able to sleep because of the nightmares of Hell that still haunted him, or maybe it was the impending Apocalypse.  “Look, I thought I was going back to Hell the next day,” he said.  “And you have no idea what that’s like.  Now normally I like the chase, I’m not gonna lie.  And you’re beautiful, and you can take care of yourself, and you understand my job, hell, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted!  But that night, I didn’t have another three months for more of this “will we, won’t we, text message” crap, and it’s not like you ran up and gave me the green light.  The only thing I could think about was how the angels were probably gonna drag my ass back to Hell the next day.  And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry, and I’d give anything to take it back.”

     Ember was staring at him, her mouth open.  Hell, he was surprised at himself – he’d only ever talked about Hell before with Sam.  Well, he figured, in for a penny, in for a pound.  “You want a relationship?  I’ll do a relationship.  I’ll suck at it.  You’ll always have to worry if I’m dead or not, unless you come hunting with me, and then there’s the matter of the demons.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll call you every day, because sometimes I’m getting beat up by things that most people don’t know exist.  And I certainly can’t buy you anything nice, unless you really like shit motels.  And God knows it’ll piss Bobby the right hell off, but if you’re up for it, let’s do it!”

     Ember looked down, her face beat red.  Too late, Dean realized that he’d put himself “out there” much more than he meant to during his tirade.  There was a brief pause, then Ember said, very quietly, “I have a boyfriend.”

     “Yeah?” Dean said, backtracking.  Dean searched around for what to say, but the only thing that came to mind was, “Does he know about you?”

     There was a pause.  “No,” Ember admitted.  “We’ve only been dating a month.”

     Dean recovered himself, and smirked at her.  “Shit, what a waste.”

     And then he turned on the radio again.

     This sort of crap was why he stuck with one night stands.

***Ember POV***

February 6^th, Night

     Ember was still reeling from the conversation with Dean on the way to the Pub.  She had known he was scared to go back to Hell, but perhaps she hadn’t truly understood the depth of this.  He was right, she supposed… she hadn’t exactly put herself out on a silver platter, and perhaps Anna had.  Was it justifiable, in his situation, for him to have taken what was willingly given?  She thought that perhaps it was.  He had never made her any promises. 

     And the bigger question:  she liked her boyfriend, Eric… maybe even loved him.  But, it also occurred to her that she hadn’t thought about him for even a second since she’d gotten the phone call from Bobby that evening.  Why was Dean all she could think about?  Why had she reacted that strongly to his words, even after all this time?

     Ember was so deep in her thoughts that she was hardly paying attention when Dean got out of the car to meet up with Nick in front of the pub.  Therefore, it took her a couple of seconds longer than it should have to realize that Nick was the siren.

     Should she tell Dean?  She thought fast.  If she could tell that Nick was the siren, could Nick tell that she was half-demon?  It didn’t appear so.  He was talking and chatting with Dean like old friends, even though she knew they’d just met today.

Ember’s Cell Phone:  Sam.  Nick is the siren.  I’m with them at Pub on 45^th & Simmons.  Come ASAP.

     Shit!  How would the siren infect her and Dean?  Would it try to infect Dean while Ember was there?  Or would it try to infect both of them at once?  And then Ember saw it:  the siren was passing Dean his drink.

     “Hey, Dean?”

     Dean ignored the drink long enough to turn around in his seat.

     “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay?”

     Dean looked her up and down.  “You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

     “I think it would be safer if we both went in with you,” the siren said.  “That girl is in there, you know.”

     “C’mon, you said she goes after guys,” Ember said.  “I’ll be fine.  But I really, really gotta go!  Look, Dean, I really don’t want to go to the bathroom in your car.”

     Dean wrinkled up his face.  “Yeah, okay,” he said, “Just come right back..”

     Ember made a beeline for the Pub.  She met up with Sam behind the pub, about ten minutes later.  Bobby was about two seconds behind Sam.

     “What’s going on?” they both asked.  “Where’s Dean?  Where’s the siren?”

     “Not sure,” she said, “I wanted to wait until you got here.  I don’t know if my powers are a match for his… hers… the siren’s.  Whatever.  The two of them should be parked in a car out front.”

     But the car was gone.

     “Do you think they went back to the motel?” Sam asked.

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  “Let’s go.”

     Back at the motel, the three walked silently upstairs.

     “Remember, they’re only expecting one of us, maybe two,” Bobby told Ember and Sam. 

     “I’ll go first,” Sam said, and Bobby and Ember both nodded.

     As they had predicted, Dean had grabbed hold of Sam and forced a knife to his throat the moment he walked in the door.  Ember ducked in around the two of them and attempted to force the siren against the wall, but quickly realized that they were evenly matched.  “I thought there was something strange about you,” the siren said to Ember.  The siren, though barely able to move, was quickly gaining ground, like a slow winner in a game of air tug-of-war.  Meanwhile Bobby had stabbed Dean in the arm with the bronze dagger, and was headed toward the siren. 

      Dean let go of Sam after Bobby stabbed him, and Sam attempted to punch him; Dean ducked just in time.  The siren attempted to duck out of Bobby’s way and was successful.  Ember used all of her power to push the siren sideways toward Bobby, and Bobby made a wild dive, finally throwing the bronze dagger into the siren’s back.

     The siren slumped down in front of the mirror, and was silent.

***Ember POV***

February 7^th, Morning

     “Here’s what I don’t get,” said Sam.  It was nearing time for Ember’s plane to board, and the four of them were standing outside the airport in the misty dawn.  There hadn’t been enough time to bother with sleeping, so Ember was desperately looking forward to getting some sleep on the plane.  “Why did the siren decide to be a guy?  I mean, last time I checked, he wasn’t Dean’s usual type.”

     Ember thought for a second.  “I was wondering about that too,” she admitted.  “And I think I understand.”

     All three men looked at her, surprised.  “OK, so my guess is that by now the siren has gotten pretty good at covering its tracks.  And you said the siren showed up at the lab first, right?  Where Cara was?”  Sam nodded.  “So, my guess is that it first showed up there at the lab in a form that it thought would be pleasing to Cara.  It must’ve figured she was onto it because of her research with the victims and oxytocin, and it wanted to take her out before things got more complicated… so when you first met it, it was a man.”

     “Makes sense,” said Bobby. 

     “But that only explains why the siren appeared in the form of a man,” Sam said, “not why it stayed that way.”

     Ember nodded.  “It must’ve found some kind of weakness, some kind of… desire that wasn’t being met.”

     There was silence as they all thought about this.  “You sure you didn’t kiss him?” Bobby asked Dean.

     “No, dude!  Come on!  We shared a flask, that was all.”

     Ember looked at Dean.  “So there wasn’t anything he did, or said, that you liked?  Because I know what a lone wolf you are usually, Dean.  But I had barely gotten up here when you were calling Nick to help out with this investigation.  He must’ve… I don’t know, known how to get you free lap dances, or… didn’t you say he knew all the words to all the classic 80’s songs?”

     Dean was definitely looking furious now, and uncomfortable.  “Look, we didn’t have a goddamn bromance, okay?  He just knew a few good songs!  It was the saliva, okay?!”  And he walked away.

     “Ember, I miss having you around,” Sam said when he was done laughing.  “Promise you won’t be a stranger, okay?”

     “Yeah, okay,” Ember said.  “I do miss hunting with you guys,” she admitted.  “We should do something in a couple of months, when things slow down at my job.  Text me, okay?”

     “Yeah, we will,” Sam promised.

     “And Sam?” Ember asked.

     “Yeah?”

     “Whatever’s going on between you and Dean?  Work it out,” she said.

     Ember and Sam both looked toward the Impala, where Dean was drinking his soda (Bobby had forgone the usual beer after reminding them that they would both be driving soon) and looking irritable.  Ember shared a look with Sam, and she knew that he understood:  the siren had capitalized on some sort of insecurity of Dean’s, and it was Sam’s job to get to the bottom of it.  Sam smiled.  Did this have to do with the demon blood?  But it wasn’t the right time to ask… after all, Ember hadn’t seen either of the boys in months.

     “I will,” Sam promised.

***Dean POV***

February 17, Early morning

    The brothers had thought it would be another month or so before they saw Ember again, but it was only about two weeks.  It began when Castiel arrived in their motel room at 5:00 PM in late February.  As usual, he didn’t mince words.  “Wake up.  You’re coming with me.”

     Neither brother was used to being awakened out of a dead sleep by the gruff angel, and so both reacted predictably, grabbing weapons from under their pillows and starting toward Castiel before recognition kicked in.  “Cas, what the hell!” Dean screamed when he finally recognized the angel.

     “You’re coming with me,” Castiel repeated, unfazed.  He began to walk toward them with his hands outstretched toward their foreheads.

     Dean backed up toward the wall.  “Why?”

     Castiel looked annoyed, but lowered his arms.  “Because I’m not accustomed to dealing with crying women.”

     “What?”

     “It’s your woman.  That girl you keep looking at when you think she’s not looking.  The one who won’t have the sex with you.  Ember.  She killed some demons.  She’s very upset about it.  She prayed to me.  She asked me to kill her, but I have orders that she is best left alive.  I am an angel of the Lord.  I do not have training in hiding bodies and dealing with crying women.  Are you coming, or not?”

     Two minutes later, the two brothers and the angel arrived in the living room of Ember’s apartment, across the country.  While it had still been bright in their motel room in California, the sun in Indiana was just beginning to set outside of Ember’s window.  Ember herself was looking smaller and more frail than Dean had ever seen her before.  She wore a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, both of which were covered in blood.  She held a large green throw around her, and her eyes were red and bloodshot.  Still, she looked irritated.  “Why did you have to go and bring back the freaking Winchesters?” she snapped at Castiel.

     “They hide bodies,” Castiel filled in, gesturing toward the corner, and Ember winced.  In the corner were three bodies, all men.  One had been shot, one had two separate stab wounds, and the other appeared simply unconscious.  The two dead men had been sloppily covered with trash bags.  Dean guessed that Ember refused to touch them, but couldn’t look at them either.

     Ember’s words from a few months ago came back to Dean:  “Normally if I have a boyfriend, the demons just stow away in him.  It’s easier, and demons are lazy.  I can always tell, though.”

     “Who were they?” Dean asked.

     Ember’s eyes rose to him, and he saw several tears leak out.  “A client of mine.  He was… he was only 23.  And… my client’s care-taker.  And… my boyfriend… he’s the unconscious one.  He woke back up after the fight was over, and saw the bodies, and started freaking out… I knocked him back out.”  She sighed.  “I never should’ve dated him.  We were just…”  She trailed off.  “I didn’t even like him that much, really.” 

     Something in Dean’s chest soared, despite itself.  Ember shook her head to clear it, missing Dean’s sudden look of hopefulness.  “Anyway, I hadn’t told him yet, about me, and I didn’t know what to do… thank God he was wearing the anti-possession charm I got him, or else…” She started to sniffle again. 

     Dean crossed the room in two strides and gathered up Ember, holding her close to his chest.  It was odd, he thought:  even after Anna, and their fight, and the siren, and despite the fact that he had never done this before, the movement felt completely natural.  “I’m so sorry, Ember.”  He thought for a minute, then added, “I never should’ve let you go back home.”

     They stayed there like that for a minute, until Sam shifted awkwardly and began unfurling the trash bags and covering the bodies properly with them. 

     “What happened?” Dean asked.

     Ember sniffled.  “Carl was… he was my last client of the day, and then I headed home.  There were two demons.  They must’ve gotten my scent back then, and eventually tracked me back here.  And Eric, my boyfriend, you know, he didn’t know about… and he just opened the door!  And the salt line… they just threw him aside…”  Ember was sniffling into Dean’s shirt, and so her voice was muffled.  Sam and Cas had both stopped to listen.  “I mean, we hadn’t been dating that long… what am I going to do?  He’s already seen the bodies…”

     Dean held her tighter, allowing her to bury her face in his chest.  He knew from experience that it would be better after the bodies were disposed of, so he asked, “What happened then?”

     Ember sniffled again. “They both went after me, of course.  And I can usually use my powers to fight them off, and my invisibility to dodge them, even if there’s more than one of them.  But I couldn’t handle these two at once.  So I got the worker first with the revolver, and that held him off a bit while I could get out an exorcism.  But the demon inside Carl was so powerful, more powerful than most.  And I couldn’t even get the exorcism out, because I had to fight him off, because he could see me…  They’ve never been able to see me before!  And then…”  She hiccupped.  “Just when I thought I was done for… they just left.  Just like that, they were both gone, and Carl was dead…”  And then Ember cried harder than ever. 

     Dean looked at Sam.  “Just one more question… did anyone other than the two that died know that those two would be coming here today?”

     Ember said some words, but it all came out as a muffled sob.  After a wracking breath, she said, “No.  They would’ve followed me from work.  Their car is outside, it’s a red Toyota.  But… what am I going to do about Eric?”

     Sam paused in his ministrations with the plastic bag to shoot Dean a meaningful look, and Dean nodded.  “Sam and I will take care of everything,” Dean said.  “Cas, will you stay with her for one second?  We need to coordinate.” 

     Castiel nodded once, and went over to sit by Ember on the sofa.  Dean gave Castiel a stern look, gesturing to Ember.  Before Dean disappeared into the other room with Sam, he overheard the angel say, “If it is any comfort to you, your friends are most likely in heaven now.”

     “So, what’s the plan?” Sam asked Dean.  “Ask Cas to wipe the boyfriend’s memories?”

     “Obviously.”

     “What about the bodies?”

     “Is there a lake nearby?” Dean asked.  “What are our options?”

     Sam shook his head.  “This is different.  If we dump them too close to here, someone will find the car, and then the bodies, and it’ll lead to Ember.  She was the last person to see them.  We need to make the whole thing go away.”

     Dean thought for a moment.  “South Dakota, then?”

     Sam nodded.  “Probably best.  I’ll take the Toyota and the two bodies up there, after we convince Cas to deal with the boyfriend.”

     “Cool.  Call Bobby on the way and tell him we’ll be joining you soon.”

     “Yup.”

     Dean refused to leave Ember’s side that evening, even after Castiel had taken Eric and disappeared to wherever angels go, and Sam had taken the bodies in the Toyota and headed for South Dakota.

     Ember’s mother showed up about an hour later.  “I know you have other places to be,” Ember said quietly to Dean in a private moment.  “I can’t thank you enough for what you and Sam did for me.  I didn’t want to… I just didn’t have the strength to do it myself.  You can… you can go now.  I know you have other things to do.”

     Dean searched her eyes.  “Do you want me to leave?’

     Without hesitation, Ember answered, “No.”  Then, hesitantly, she added, “I’m scared they might come back.”

     Ember’s mother gave her a look of shock, and Ember averted her eyes.  “Carl was my client, my responsibility.  I won’t risk this happening again, to anyone.  Especially not to you, Mom.  I’m going to quit my job and move in with Bobby.  Maybe…  maybe when you...”  She looked at Dean with determination.  “I mean, when we, get Lilith figured out, maybe then I can go back to…”  But she had dissolved into tears again, and her mother pulled her close this time.

     “I hate to say it, but she’s right, Ms. Nelson,” Dean said.  “She’s safest with Bobby and I.  I’ll stay with her until she can get her affairs sorted here, and then we’ll head to South Dakota.”

     And so it was decided. 

***Ember POV***

February 17, Evening

     After Ember’s mother left, she took a heavy sleeping pill and passed out.  Despite Dean’s promise to stay, she hadn’t expected him to do so after the first night.  His large, sleeping form in the chair next to her bed scared her half to death when she first awakened on the day after the incident, but she had to admit she was glad he was there.  If he hadn’t been there, she felt certain that her mother would’ve insisted on staying instead, and that, at the moment, was too dangerous.  Those two demons were still out there, somewhere, not to mention others.  Plus, she wasn’t even sure if the more powerful one could be kept out with salt lines.  He had been so strong…

     Ember’s mother had always been able to take care of herself.  For as long as Ember could remember, her mother had kept up the salt lines, and there had always been devil traps under the rugs growing up.  They had lived a demon-free life until Ember was 13, when things had gotten ugly for awhile. 

     By the time she was 16, however, Ember had learned to exorcise the demons, and her invisibility had helped her dodge the demons until she could do so.  She hadn’t had to make a kill since she was 15… until now.

     Now, it felt like she was 14 all over again.

     On the day after the incident, Ember called her work and explained the situation:  her father in South Dakota was having health problems, and needed her immediately.  Bobby would confirm from the proper area code on the other end if anybody had any questions.  She would have to leave the job in 3 days.  Nobody argued with dying fathers.

     Over the next few days, Dean helped Ember pack her apartment along with her mother and her best friend Mike.  He was kind to her mother, calling her “Mrs. Nelson” and “Ma’am.”  He chatted with Mike about guns and cars, and the two of them worked together in goofy attempts to make Ember smile.  Each day she reminded him that he was free to go, and that surely he had other things to do.

     “Do you want me to leave?” he would ask.

     “No,” she said honestly.  Not until she was away from the people she loved.

     Dean also went with her to say good-bye to all of her clients and to finish up last-minute paperwork.  He never stayed in sight, but she felt sure he was always watching.  It surprised her, then, when on the morning of the fourth day, he didn’t meet her back at the apartment like he had promised.  Perhaps he had had enough, she thought.  She couldn’t be good company; she’d been sulking for days, had barely smiled, and had made him sleep on the chair in her room (if he insisted) or the sofa in the living room (if she insisted).  Perhaps this was best, she thought; she’d be at Bobby’s by the end of the day anyway.

     Instead, Dean showed up at the apartment twenty minutes later.

     “You’re covered in blood!” she exclaimed, ushering him in quickly.

     “One of your demon friends from the other day found me,” he said, shrugging off his jacket and wincing.  “Did you know that guy with dreadlocks who was hanging out outside your work?”

     “God, you’re hurt!” Ember exclaimed, helping him out of his jacket, which was torn.  The sleeve of his black flannel shirt was covered in dried blood.  “No, I didn’t know him… how did you know he was one of the demons from the other day?”

     “Started taunting me about it,” Dean answered. 

     “What happened?” Ember asked.  “Did you…”

     “Exorcised.  Barely.”  Dean began removing his shirt, slowly.         

     Ember was reminded, briefly, of another time in the hot tub, and Dean’s shirtless form glistening in the water.  The sight of a large slash on his shoulder brought her quickly back to reality, however.

     Dean caught her looking at the cut.  “It’s just a scratch, don’t worry.  Won’t even need stitches, I don’t think.  Look, it’s already clotting.”

     Ember helped Dean clean the wound, wrapping it with a clean cloth.  “Are you ready to go?” he asked her when they were finished, and he gingerly put his shirt back on.

     “Yeah… you’re sure we shouldn’t take you to a hospital?”

     Dean laughed.  “I’ve been way worse off than this and not gone to a hospital.  Seriously, it’s barely a flesh wound.  Plus, we need to get gone, the sooner the better.  I’m pretty sure that was the less powerful of the two demons you met the other day.”  Dean laughed.  “Not the brightest bulb in the shed, either.  Let’s go, before the other one gets here.”

     Ember smiled wryly.  Finally, she took one last look at her Indiana apartment and slid into her PT Cruiser, driving toward the South Dakota sun.

***Dean POV***

February 21, Late evening

     “Glad you’re back,” Sam said while the two of them helped unload Ember’s belongings late that evening.  “I caught us a case.”

     “Yeah?”

     “Looks like.  Vampires again, I think.  If we leave tonight, we can be in New Hampshire by the morning.”  He stopped.  “Unless…” he looked at Ember, who was carrying in her bedding. 

     Dean shook his head.  “It’d be too weird if I stayed.  She’s gotta do her thing.  Bobby should keep her safe.” 

     Ember hadn’t cried since the day of the incident, and he’d even made her smile a few times.  Best of all, he had a feeling that she no longer resented his presence, and even welcomed him again – as a protector, as a friend, and maybe more.  He had thought she had eyed him when he’d taken his shirt off earlier to inspect his cut, but perhaps he’d been light-headed from the blood loss.

     He also knew, however, that she wasn’t the type to be constantly followed around and watched.  She would need some independence in South Dakota, and Bobby could take care of himself enough that she wouldn’t have to be worried about the demons she would attract.  He had a feeling she was itching to stretch her legs and begin a life for herself.

     Ember nodded in understanding when he told her the news.  “Dean… you were really there for me, when I needed you most.”

     She looked up at him from under her lashes, and he felt his heart melting.  She was moving closer.  Was she going to kiss him?  Should he move away?

     “I mean… it’s too early for me to think about...” She smiled shyly, and he knew immediately where she was going with this odd conversation.  “If in a few weeks, if you still feel like being in a relationship… let me know, okay?  The only thing I can guarantee is that it won’t be as miserable for you as the last four days have been.  I suppose it can only improve from here.”

     Dean fought down the surge of hope he felt in his heart, and the lurch from somewhere around his stomach.  “I would like that,” he said honestly, and it sounded deeper and huskier than he had expected.

     “Thank you,” Ember said.  “Thank you so much, for everything over the past few days.”  And she kissed him on the cheek.  She smelled like shampoo, and like everything he remembered longing for when he had been in Hell.  And when, hours later, he was driving the Impala through the Midwest, he could still feel where her lips had burned.

Chapter Text

***Sam POV***

March 17, Late evening

ONE MONTH LATER

    “He’s in love with her, isn’t he?” Bobby asked Sam.  Sam and Dean had come back to Bobby’s for the first time in a month.  Ember had gone off with Dean (somewhere), and Sam and Bobby were poring over lore books about Lucifer and Lilith in the cramped library room.

    Sam looked up, shaking his head.  “I’m not gonna lie, Bobby, I’ve never seen him like this.”  Laughter danced in his eyes.  “You should’ve seen him when he left your house a month back.  I’ve seen him get laid and be less happy about it.”

     Bobby frowned. 

     “They’ve gone back to texting on and off again, like they did last fall,” Sam continued.  “And then, two nights ago, there was this blond in a bar, definitely Dean’s usual type,” Sam continued.  “I thought he was going to chat her up, but then she came and told me he had ducked out and said he’d had to head back to the motel.”

     Bobby raised his eyebrow.  “And what did you do?”

     Sam gave Bobby a shy smile, remembering the feel of the blond girl as she squirmed below him.

     “Idgits,” Bobby groaned.

     The next day, Ember asked Sam and Dean if she could hunt with them, just for awhile.  “I’m not getting any younger,” she told them.  “There aren’t any good therapist jobs here.  And maybe if I help you with the whole Lilith thing, it’ll go faster.”

     Dean looked like Christmas had come early.

***Ember POV***

March 18, Evening

     The next day, as luck would have it, a case fell into their hands.  Bobby called them during their morning run to a café for food.  By evening, Ember, Dean, and Sam were trying to track down a ghost – not to kill it, but to talk to it.

     The first step was a séance in a graveyard.

     “This job is jacked,” said Dean, who looked irritated beyond belief.

     “How so?”

     “You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let’s light it up, right?  But this?  If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead.  Good people.” 

     “Look, I don’t want them to die either, Dean,” said Sam.  “But there’s a… natural order.”

     “You’re kidding, right?” Dean asked. 

     “What?”

     “You don’t see the irony in that?  I mean, you and me, we’re like the poster boys of the unnatural order.  All we do is ditch death,” Dean responded.  Ember’s head moved back and forth, staring at both brothers in the light from the candles.

     “Yeah, but the normal rules don’t really apply to us, do they?” Sam asked. 

     Dean laughed.  “We’re no different than anybody else!” 

     “I’m infected with demon blood,” Sam said.  “You’ve been to Hell.  Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the plumber, Dean, but you’re not.  Neither am I.  The sooner you accept that, the better off you’re gonna be.”

     “Ah, Joe the plumber was a douche,” Dean said, looking at Ember for support.

     “He’s right, Dean,” she said softly. 

     “You too?” Dean said irritably.  “Really?”

     Ember shrugged. 

     “No offense,” said Dean, whose tone had become lighter, “but isn’t the whole half-demon, ‘you still being an upstanding citizen’ thing… I don’t know, fighting against that natural order?”

     Ember glared at him.  She knew he hadn’t meant it as an insult, but she was still slightly irked at the question.  “No… that’s more like me having a choice about what I decide to do with my life, and making the correct one.  Speaking of which… if we save people that are bound for Heaven – people that are supposed to die, as a fact of life… I mean, I can’t think of a quicker way to piss off Heaven than that.  I’m not a fan of killing innocent people, but I, for one, am entirely in favor of finding the reaper and restoring things to their natural order.”

     Dean pouted, and Sam glared at him.  “Are you gonna help me finish this?” he asked, gesturing to the array of candles.

     Suddenly, from nowhere, a man yelled, “Hey!”

     Ember froze.  Stepping out from the shadows was the demon who had come for her at her home.  He was in a different meat suit, but she would recognize him anywhere by the power that emanated from him.  “Demon,” she said immediately to Sam and Dean.  Dean pulled out his knife, and Sam his shot-gun.

     “Don’t waste your time,” the demon said, and his eyes rolled back in his head, turning them white.

     “Alastair,” Dean said immediately.

     “You know him?” Ember said, surprised out of her fear. 

     Dean ignored her.  “I thought you got deep-fried, extra crispy.”  And with trepidation, Ember noted that there was just a tinge of fear behind Dean’s eyes.

     “Nah,” the demon said.  “Just the pediatrician I was riding.  His wife’s still looking for him.  It’s hilarious.  Anyway… no time to chat.  Got a hot date with death.”

     Two things happened then, simultaneously.  First, Alastair raised his hand and sent Dean flying backward into a gravestone.  Second, Ember used her powers with all her might, and Alastair went flying back into a second gravestone.  Alastair recovered himself quickly, and Sam started chanting an exorcism as quickly as he could, running forward to punch Alastair while he did so.  Alastair dove backward and, holding out his hand, used his own immense powers against Ember and Sam.

     Ember knew immediately that she was going to lose.  She could feel that Alastair was far more powerful than she was, though she could put up a good fight.  This was it.  She had never even kissed Dean Winchester.  And she couldn’t even be sure she’d get into Heaven… “I can see why Lilith is so interested in you,” Alastair said suddenly, looking her straight in the eye.  Ember lost her concentration for a split second, a distraction which cost her dearly.  She slid backward a few paces, now backed against a large headstone with Alastair towering over her. 

     Suddenly, out of nowhere, the pressure lifted, and Ember saw (to her immense relief), a billowing black cloud erupt from Alastair’s mouth.  Her relief turned to horror as she realized that Sam had used his own powers to exorcise the demon.

     “Sam…” Ember said to him.  That word was full of emotion:  relief, disappointment, gratefulness, and fury.  And for a second, Sam looked at her with the most twisted, lustful smile she had ever seen on any demon.

     Then the moment passed, and Sam’s face tensed into one of worried relief.  He ran quickly over to Dean.  “Dean!  Ember, he’s out cold.”

     Ember rushed over to Dean as well, putting her hand on his neck.  “Just unconscious,” she confirmed.

     Sam rushed over to Dean and propped him up gingerly, then smacked him lightly on the face.  Dean’s eyes popped open suddenly, and he scrambled to sit up, but Sam held him down.  “Sit a second,” he told Dean.  “You were knocked out.”

     “Fuck!” Dean screamed into the night air, recovering his faculties quickly.  “I hate that bastard!  How did you get rid of him?”

     Sam and Ember looked at each other.  “Ember’s and my powers combined,” Sam said.  It was mostly the truth.

     “How do you know him?” Ember asked Dean.

     “It’s a long story,” Dean answered grudgingly, sagging in a sitting position against a headstone.  “But he’s the worst of the worst.”

     Ember nodded.  “He was the other demon who came to my house that night,” Ember said.

     She had expected some sort of reaction to this, but not the one Dean gave.  “He was – what?!”  Dean scrambled to his feet.  “I swear to God, next time I see that mother fucker, I’ll kill him.  I’ll – I’ll fucking - …”

     “Dean!” both Sam and Ember screamed at the same time, and Dean whirled around, his eyes blazing with fury.

     “He can’t go around-…” Dean started.

     Sam cut him off.  “Dean, he obviously finds ways to keep popping back up.  And I, for one, am not going to wait on it to happen again.  Let’s get the hell out of here.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Half an hour later, Dean finally exited the small motel room into the bathroom to take a shower.  Sam immediately stated that he was going to go out and grab some food, but Ember used her powers to shut the door in front of him.  “We’re going to talk first,” she said.  She knew Sam wouldn’t dare use his own powers to exit the room, not now when his actions were so crucial to their friendship.

     She was right, and Sam gave an irritated sigh, but his shoulders sagged.  “We can’t talk here,” he said.  “You could come with me, though.”

     Ember narrowed her eyes, suspicious of him, but he said, by way of explanation, “I’m hungry.  And Dean will be out of the shower soon, and he’s not as clueless as he acts.”

     Ember nodded finally, and Sam walked over to the bathroom door.  “Ember and I are going for food!” he yelled through the door.

     “Okay, get me pie!” Dean yelled back, and Ember saw Sam smile softly.

     For the first two minutes of the ride to the nearest fast-food joint, both Sam and Ember were silent.  Ember’s jaw was working, and Sam kept shooting her looks that were a mixture of ashamed and defiant.  Finally, she said, “I thought you promised to tell me when you were back on demon blood?”

     “I was going to, I promise I was,” Sam said.  “I’m not stupid.  I know you need to know.  The first time I had an opportunity to do so without Dean, I was going to tell you.”

     “So you’re still not planning on telling him where you’re getting your powers.”

     Sam sighed.  “Look.  I know you don’t approve, and I understand-…”  Ember gave him a scathing look, but he continued.  “No, really.  I know why you don’t approve.  And I’m not going to lie, I can definitely feel the effects of the blood when I’m around you.”

     Ember was pretty sure he wasn’t coming onto her, but she hadn’t expected him to be that blunt about his reaction to her “demon attraction issues”, either.  This threw her off guard.

     “Look, Ember, I’m not stupid, okay?” Sam continued.  “You’re my brother’s girl.  Maybe you don’t know this, but you always have been, from day one.  Maybe you always will be, because I’ve never seen him act around a girl the way he acts around you.”

     If Sam was trying to throw her even further off-balance, he was doing a very good job. 

     “This whole thing is temporary, and of the two of us, Dean is the one that thinks with his downstairs brain,” Sam said.  “I promise – I swear on everything I have ever loved – that I will never hurt you.  Just please, please don’t tell Dean.  At least until we figure out this apocalypse thing.  I mean… you owe me that much.  I did just save you and Dean.”

     Ember sighed.  He had a point, though she wanted to argue it.  But she had conditions.  “Fine,” she said.  “Look, I’m not your keeper.  I don’t have any control over your life.  It’s a stupid idea, but it’s nothing on me.  I have one condition.”

     “What’s that?”

     “That you fight me.”

     “What?” Sam said, clearly alarmed.  “Ember, I’m not going to-…”

     “No, hear me out,” Ember said as they pulled into the fast food drive-through.  “No playing dirty.  No hurting, no maiming, no sending each other flying into things.  Not that kind of fighting.  Just like… air tug of war.”

     They pulled up to the window at that point, and it was another five minutes before they picked up the conversation again.

     “What would be the point of me fighting you?” Sam asked.  “I’m on a steady diet.  I’m taking the same amount each time, and I haven’t lost control yet.”

     Ember turned to face him.  “I’m pretty sure I’m stronger than you.  Your power only works on demons, and I’m only half demon, so they shouldn’t have the same effect on me that they would on full demons.  But I need to know for sure.”

     “Ember, if I was going to hurt you, I would have done it already,” Sam protested.

     Ember glared.  “If you want to keep your brother in the dark, even for another hour, this is what I’m asking.  I need to know that if you lose control, I can still keep you away.  I don’t want to have to kill you, and I don’t want Dean or Bobby to have to kill you later.”

     “I’m not going to-…” Sam muttered, but he broke off at Ember’s glare.  “Fine,” he said softly, twisting his hands irritably on the wheel.  ”But if you get hurt, you get to answer to Dean.”

     Ten minutes later, they were in a very large open field, which was slightly lit up by two streetlights.

     “Okay, first thing’s first,” Ember said.  “And you have to be totally, completely honest.  Okay?  I’m giving you one last chance here, Sam Winchester.”

     “Shoot,” he said irritably.

     Ember went invisible.  “Can you see me?” she asked.

     Sam’s head whipped around, realizing that her voice was traveling behind him.  “Hold on, stay still for a second, I think I see…”  Ember stopped.

     “Just vaguely, I think I see… it’s like, a glimmer, I guess.  Are you… there?” he held up his hand, and touched soft clothing.

     “Yup.  You can see me then.”

     “Not really,” Sam said.  “It’s more like… like when you look at something through a shimmery fog.”

     “You’re not supposed to see even that,” Ember said, frowning.

     “Walk around me for a second,” Sam said, ignoring her.  “And don’t just walk… run and duck and bend and wiggle a bit.  Let me see if I can touch you.”  He couldn’t, for the most part.  He got her a few times out of sheer, dumb luck, but for the most part she may as well have been invisible.

     “You better be being honest with me,” she growled at him, becoming visible to him once again.

     “Ember, the biggest tip I have is if you’re worried about demons, mask your scent.”

     “When I’m hunting demons, I will,” she said.  “I just didn’t realize I’d be hanging out with demons tonight.”  Sam shot her a hurt glare.  “Oh, don’t get all offended, I wasn’t talking about you,” she snapped.  “Although, I wasn’t not talking about you,” she grumbled, and Sam sent her a scathing look.  “I just don’t fancy dousing myself in pig swilt or whatever unless there’s a good reason,” she explained.

     He stopped, looking surprised.  “You don’t have to douse yourself in pig swilt,” he said.  “Man-made products would be much better.”  He smiled at her.  “Dean’s cologne might hide you entirely.”  They both laughed for a second, and she realized she was becoming comfortable around him again.

     “Okay, now for the fight.”

     “I’m not fighting you.”

     “Whatever.  Okay, here’s what I want you to do.  Walk about… I don’t know, maybe 12 steps away from me.”  Sam did.  “Okay, now hit me.  Try to force me back a few feet, like Alastair did.”

     “I’m not going to do that.  I don’t want to throw you across the football field.”

     “Think you’re stronger than me?” she challenged.

     “I have no idea how strong you actually are,” he confessed.

     “Fine,” she said.  “Use low-level powers, and then work your way up.  See how much it takes to move me.”

     Sam sighed.  “Okay,” he said, and used his mind to push at her feet.

     Ember didn’t move.  “Looking good so far,” she said.  “Take it up a notch.”

     Sam did.  Ember dug her heels into the ground and braced herself, but otherwise still didn’t move.

     “Still looking good, weakling,” she taunted him, “Take it up another notch.”

     He laughed.  “Okay, fine, Ember.  You win.  I’m going full power.  Are you sure you’re ready?”

     “Yeah, hit me!” she said.  She didn’t feel anything at first, and she could tell that Sam was turning up his power gradually, instead of hitting her with it all at once.  A few seconds later, however, it was taking her a colossal effort to resist against his force.  She could feel the wind whistling past her head from his wall of force, and twigs and branches moved around her at high speed.  She leaned over and used all fours to brace herself, but her feet still didn’t move.

     “Okay,” she said, and he stopped.  “This time, hit me with everything at once.”

     “You sure?” he asked.

     “I’m braced,” she answered.

     “Okay,” he said, and hit her hard, with all of his power.  She dug her heals into the ground again, and slid back a full two feet.

     Sam stopped immediately, shame peppering his face in the streetlamp.  “I’m sorry,” he said.

     Ember smiled.  At some point, she realized, this had become more a friendly test of power than a practice for how safe she was around him.  “No worries, I haven’t gone on the offensive yet,” she said.  “Okay, this time, I’m going to count to three.  When I say ‘Go’, hit me with your full power.”

     “And what are you going to do?” Sam asked.

     “I’m gonna send you flying,” she said honestly.  “Not very far, though.”

     “You’re sure about this?” he asked.  He had begun to stretch his legs, like a runner warming up.

     “Yeah,” said Ember.  “I’ve got a pretty good idea where your force powers are at.  I shouldn’t send you too far.”

     Sam nodded.  “One… two… three… GO!” Ember yelled.  At the same time, both of them held up their hands and pushed against each other.  The force of it sent Ember backward onto her behind.  Sam, however, went skidding a full ten feet backward, ultimately landing on his behind as well.

     Together, they both started laughing.  Sam recovered first, and hurried to help Ember up.  “So… can I keep my secret for a little while longer?” he asked.

     She rolled her eyes.  “I still think you’re an idiot,” she said.  “But I guess the Apocalypse brings out the demon in all of us.”

     On the way back, Ember had a few more questions for Sam.  “So… what you said about pig swilt and cologne… how do you know?”

     He looked at her in the light of the Impala, and she could tell that his face was red again, and that he didn’t want to answer.  “It’s a…” he wrestled uncomfortably with the words.  “It’s not that your scent has to be masked by a… another natural scent.  You’re not deer hunting.  You’re… your scent has to be masked by any other scent.  I mean, it feels like it’s partially pheromones, and partially smell.  Or maybe the smell triggering pheromones.  Or, in my case, the smell triggering the blood.”

     Ember thought about this for a second.  “Thanks,” she said.  “I suppose that makes things a lot easier.  And… it’ll probably make things smell better, too.”  She thought for a second longer, then asked, “Sam… what do I smell like, to demons?”

     Sam took awhile to answer.  Just when Ember was sure he was going to ignore her and had decided to let the subject die, he said, “Sex on a stick.”

     Ember’s head whipped around.  She hadn’t expected this.

     He shrugged.  “You asked me to be totally honest.  I’m being totally honest.  But Ember, I’ve never really thought about…”

     “I know,” she said, cutting him off. 

     “To me… you’re just Ember,” he said.  “I can separate…” he paused.  “What has to do with the demon blood, and what doesn’t.  For example, this feeling was least strong during our time with Anna, when I had been off the blood for awhile.  It was somewhat stronger when I first met you I think, though I wasn’t really thinking about it, what with Dean getting back from Hell and all.  And it’s strongest now.  But… until I get a whiff, you’re… you’re just Ember.  You’re my brother’s girl.”

     There it was again.  “I don’t recall him agreeing to that,” Ember said.

     “I don’t think he can help it,” Sam said.  “Give him time.”

     Ember sighed, and took a sip of the smoothie she’d just bought from the drive-through.  “Last question,” she said.

     “Yeah?” Sam asked.

     “What do you think that… that Alastair demon meant?  About Lilith wanting me?”

     “No idea,” Sam said after a long pause.  “But I wasn’t going to wait around to find out.”

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

March 20, Afternoon                                                                                                                         

     After Alastair’s appearance in the graveyard, this particular hunting trip hadn’t been all that eventful, Ember thought.  Not for her anyway – not like it was for Sam and Dean.  Lore revealed that the likeliest scenario had been that two reapers had been kidnapped to break another seal:  “Basically, you kill a reaper under the solstice moon – tomorrow night, by the way – you got yourself a broken seal,” Sam stated.

     At that point, the brothers had decided that to go looking for the reapers, they would need to perform astral projection.  Therefore, Pamela was brought back from Illinois to put them into a deep, deathly sleep.  Ember’s job was to protect Pamela.  This turned out to be difficult, but not incredibly.  A demon had snuck in, of course, but not the one Ember was worried about.  Ember had exorcised the man, and first Sam and then Dean had been brought back from their trance safely.  Pamela had sworn never to see the boys again and demanded to be taken back the next morning, which Ember supposed was fair.  It was common-place, by now, for Ember to use her powers to fight off low-level demons, but she doubted Pamela would have survived if she hadn’t been there.

     Unfortunately, Dean’s mood had taken a nose-dive after seeing Alastair.  Neither brother would tell Ember how Dean knew Alastair.  Sam told her that it was “Dean’s secret to tell.”  Ember had given up on asking Dean, because it typically made him unconsciously palm the nearest weapon and brood for an extended period of time.  Even when the angels managed to capture Alastair with Dean’s help, his mood did not improve.  Ember had never thought that hunting would be glamorous, but she’d also never thought it would be like this:  one brother brooding over his time in Hell and out for vengeance, and another secretly guzzling demon blood.

     Perhaps most worrying was the comment about Lilith having plans for her, but bringing that up with the brothers would have required bringing up Alastair again, and she only made that mistake once.  “I swear to God, as soon as I find out where the angels are keeping him, I’ll kill that mother fucker,” Dean said.  Then he’d downed so much alcohol at one time that Ember hadn’t needed Sam’s pleading look to know it was time to be quiet.

     Still, they had saved a seal, so that was something.  Dean wasn’t particularly happy about this either, however.  He returned from his astral projection with the news that Castiel and Uriel had manipulated the entire thing.  Apparently, the angels had been banned from the building housing the kidnapped reapers due to angel proofing, “And so they had us do their dirty work instead!” Dean shouted angrily.

     “Dean, we’d have helped them anyway,” Ember responded patiently.  The comment only earned her a scathing look from Dean and a pleading look from Sam.

     The biggest surprise came, however, upon arriving in their hotel room in Illinois after dropping off Pamela. 

     Uriel and Castiel were waiting for them in their hotel room with a new job for them to do… specifically, a new job for Dean to do.

     Dean was not happy to see them.  “Stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!” he exclaimed.

     “We raised you out of Hell for our purposes,” Uriel responded.

     “Yeah, and what were those again?” Dean asked.  “What exactly do you want from me?”

     “Start with gratitude,” the angel said slyly.

     “Dean, we know this is difficult to understand,” Castiel started.

     “And we… don’t… care,” Uriel added.  Ember hated him.

     “Seven angels have been murdered,” began Uriel.  “All of them from our garrison.  The last one was killed tonight.”

     “Demons?” Dean asked, and Ember moved so that she could see both Dean and the angel.  “How are they doing it?”

     “We don’t know,” Uriel answered.

     “I’m sorry, but what do you want us to do about it?” asked Sam.  “I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?”

     “We can handle the demons, thank you very much,” said Uriel, with a scathing look toward Ember.

     “Don’t you look at her like that,” Dean snapped at him.

     “But first, we have to find whoever is killing them,” Castiel said, cutting Dean off.

     “Don’t you have Alastair?” Ember spoke up.

     “He should be able to name your triggerman,” Dean added.

     “But he won’t talk,” Castiel said.  “Alastair’s will is very strong.  We’ve arrived at an impasse.”

     “Yeah, well, he’s like a black belt in torture.  You guys are out of your league,” Dean taunted.

     “That’s why we’ve come to his student,” Uriel said.

     Dean froze.  The look he shot at Ember, in that moment – a look of pure fear and shame – broke her heart.

     “You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we’ve got,” Uriel said.

     “Dean… you’re our best hope,” Castiel said.

     All at once, everything clicked together in Ember’s mind.  “I thought I was going back to Hell the next day!  Do you know what Hell is like?... The only thing I could think about was how the angels were probably gonna drag my ass back to Hell the next day, and you have no fucking idea what that’s like!” 

     And Ember knew, too, how demons were made.  She knew demons were formed by humans who had been tortured for years in Hell.  To be honest, she had suspected for some time that Dean was farther on his way to becoming a demon himself than he was willing to admit.  She knew there was normal human attraction between them (an awful lot, to be honest), but she had also suspected for some time that their attraction was related in some small part to the permanent tarnish on his soul. 

     Now she knew for sure.  “Dean,” she whispered.

     He took a long look at her, and she could tell by the look on his face that she’d been right about his attraction to her, and he knew it, too.  No wonder he hadn’t wanted to be in a relationship… Dean truly was a good man.

     “No.  No way,” he answered.  “You can’t ask me to do this, Cas, not this.”

     “Who said anything,” Uriel said, “about asking?”  And then Dean and the angels disappeared.

***Dean POV***

March 20, Afternoon

     How many times in Hell had he fantasized about torturing Alastair?  A million?  A trillion?  But never, never once, had it occurred to him that he might actually have the chance.  Was this luck, or was it something else? 

     The irony of the situation was that now that he finally had the chance, he was 100% sure with all of his being that he didn’t want to.  He would never, ever forgive himself for the things he’d done in Hell.  The look on Ember’s face when she had realized what he had done in Hell played in his minds’ eye as he wheeled out the torture instruments.  She would never forgive him now, not now that she understood the true nature of his attraction to her.  He knew he couldn’t realistically blame all of his attraction to her on his time in Hell, or even 50%... but even attributing a small amount of this attraction to her “demonic attraction issues” was too much.  She must hate him.

     Or perhaps she didn’t, and she pitied him instead.  He wasn’t sure which was worse.  It was a shame… things had been going so well with her, lately.  He’d almost thought, for a second, that he could really love her, and be loved in return.  But, if she ever forgave him for what he’d done in Hell, and for not telling her about it, she’d certainly never forgive him for this.

     He was like Alastair now, he thought miserably.  He was a half demon, or part demon, like Ember.  And his “special skill” was torture.  That’s why they had called him to torture:  the angels knew it, too.  In desperation, and facing a torture session, Dean turned his mind to anger before Alastair had a chance to read his emotions.  He remembered the look on Ember’s face when Alastair had come to her house that night, though neither of them had known it was Alastair at the time.  Castiel’s words from that night came back to him:  She killed some demons.  She’s very upset about it.  She prayed to me.  She asked me to kill her.  Anger flared through him, until finally his keenly trained instincts kicked in.  He felt the serene calm of the on-coming job flare within him, a feeling he knew well.  He faced Alastair with an impassive smile.  Yes, this would be an interesting torture session.

     As Dean had expected, Alastair began to laugh when he realized the angels’ plan.  “Are they serious?  They sent you to torture me?”

     It was odd, Dean thought.  Although Alastair looked different than the demon who had tortured him for so many years, it was easy to connect the demon inside the meat suit with the hateful feelings and the nightmares that had plagued Dean for almost a year now.  He could feel that it was Alastair.  “You got one chance,” he said.  “One.  Tell me who is killing the angels.  I want a name.”

     “You think I’ll see all your scary toys and spill my guts?”

     “Oh, you’ll spill your guts one way or another.  I just didn’t want to ruin my shoes.”  It was a classic Alastair line, Dean thought.  He was good at this – he was a natural, and he knew it.  But Alastair had been his teacher.  Dean knew better than to hope he would break any time in the next few hours, if not days… if at all.  Ultimately, it depended on how determined Alastair was to keep his information a secret.  If he was especially determined, Alastair may never break.  For now, both of them were just warming up.  “Now answer the question.”

     “Or what?” Alastair taunted.  “You’ll work me over?  But then… maybe… you don’t want to.  Maybe you’re a-ha-ha scared to.”

     Dean smiled.  “I’m here, aren’t I?”

     “Not entirely.  You left part of yourself in the pit.  Let’s see if we can get the two of you back together again, shall we?” 

     Dean had forgotten just how good at this Alastair was.  Truthfully, he was scared, even now.  It was as he had told Cas… “If you ask me to open that door and walk through it… you will not like what walks back out.”  Still, with Alastair here in front of him, and the thought of the torture in Hell flaring in his mind, he did not let the other man see his fear.  He felt the quiet calm of torture settle in his mind, a sereneness Alastair had taught him well.  “You’re gonna be disappointed,” he said.

     “You have not disappointed me so far,” Alastair said.  “Come on… you gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you… for all the pokes and prods?”

     Dean remained impassive.  This was the first thing he’d thought Alastair would taunt him with, and he more than expected it.

     “No?  Then… how about all the things I did to your Daddy?  ‘Had your pop on my rack for most of a century.”

     Apparently Alastair had decided he hadn’t hit any nails on the head with his discussion of Dean’s Hell-related weaknesses.  Now he had gone for another of Dean’s old sore spots, which was also expected.  “Can’t stall forever,” Dean said.

     “John Winchester made quite a name for himself.  A hundred years.  And after each session, I’d make him the same offer I made you.  I’d put down my blade if he picked one up.”

     Dean smiled to himself.  He knew what was coming.  “Just give me the demon’s name, Alastair.”         

     “But, he said ‘nein’… each and every time.  Damned if I couldn’t break him.  Pulled out all the stops… but John, he was made of something unique.  The stuff of heroes.”  Dean knew what was coming next:  taunting about how easily he had broken.  Those feelings were to be dealt with outside of this room, however.  Instead, he felt a surge of pride for his father.

     “And then came Dean.  Dean Winchester.”  Yes, Dean thought, here it came.  Alastair was nothing if not predictable.  “I thought I was up against it again.  But Daddy’s little girl… he broked.  He broked in 30.  Just not the man your Daddy wanted you to be, huh Dean?”

     And just when Dean thought he had control, he lost it, just for a second.  A second of weakness, and he knew Alastair had seen it.  “Now we’re getting somewhere,” he said. 

     Dean still had the instruments, he reminded himself.  He still had control.

     “Holy water!” Alastair shouted as he saw what Dean was doing.  “Come on!  Grasshopper, you’re gonna have to get creative to impress me!”

     Time to take control back.  “You know something, Alastair?” Dean said.  “I could still dream, even in Hell.  And over and over and over, you know what I dreamt?  I dreamt of this moment.  And believe me… I got a few ideas.”  And, out of the corner of his eye, before Alastair could hide it, Dean saw just a sliver of fear.  “Let’s get started,” he said.

***Ember POV***

March 20, Evening

     Ember had never been so happy to see a demon in her life as she was when Ruby walked through the doors to their motel room.

     It was short-lived, however.

     “He can’t do it,” Sam said.

     “Look, I get it,” said Ruby.  “You don’t want him going all torture-master again…”

     “No, I mean he can’t do it,” said Sam.  “He can’t get the job done.  Something happened to him downstairs, Ruby.”  He shot Ember a look of apology.  Ember knew he had meant to let Dean tell her about his time in Hell… but there simply wasn’t time for that anymore.  “He’s not what he used to be.  He’s not strong enough.”

     “And you are?” Ruby asked.

     “I will be,” Sam answered.

     There was a certain understanding between both Sam and Ember, now.  Ember had fought Sam tooth and nail on the demon blood issue.  She had drug him out into a field in the middle of the night, and sent him sprawling across said field just to prove that she could.  She had given him scathing looks, threatened him with tattling to his brother, and treated him like the plague.  But now, with Dean’s life (and, more importantly, his soul) in question, she had no argument.

     “Ruby, it’s been weeks,” Sam said.  “I need it.” 

     “You don’t seem too happy about it,” Ruby commented.

     “You think I want to do this?” Sam asked.  “This is the last thing I…”  He sighed, and sent Ember a look which was pleading, yet defiant.  “I need to be strong enough.”

     “Wait,” Ember said, and Sam looked at her defiantly.  A thought had struck her, suddenly, and she needed the answer before things went further.

     “Ruby, how come… how come some demons can control themselves?  How come you’ve never tried anything… with me?”

     Ruby laughed, and sent Ember a scathing look.  “What, you think you’re the only being with demon blood who can delay gratification?  How do you control your demon instincts?”

     Ember was stunned.  “So… if demons can control themselves… why don’t they?”

     Ruby shrugged.  “It’s no fun.  Being a demon is all about doing whatever you want and not caring.  But not all of us are like that.”  She stared at Ember seriously.  “And Sam, like yourself, is not a full demon.  He can make a choice to walk away, demon blood or no demon blood.  So give him a break, will you?  He’s not going to hurt you.”  She smiled.  “Besides,” she added, climbing onto Sam’s lap on the bed.  Sam gave Ember a resigned, uncomfortable look, clearly begging her to leave.  “He has me for that kind of thing.”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “I’m gonna wait outside,” she said.  “Sam, if you go anywhere without me, I’ll kill you myself.  Tell me when everybody’s done.”

***Dean POV***

March 21, Early morning

     It had been hours.  Alastair was sweating and bloody, and Dean still had the upper hand, which included a lock on his own mind.  He hadn’t been lying – he had thought of several good ideas while in Hell.  He’d had to improvise a few things, but between his time in Hell and his hunting days, he had a pretty good idea what demons found painful.  As it turned out, he’d been right.

     He’d done better than he’d thought he would, if he was honest.  He hadn’t thought he would get this far.  He could tell Alastair would break soon, assuming the secret he was keeping wasn’t of great magnitude.  And Dean doubted that the name of another demon would be worth much more of Alastair’s time.

     Dean knew, however, that Alastair still had a few cards up his sleeve.  Dean could think of one in particular that he knew Alastair would play before he finally broke. 

     “Let’s talk about your little girlfriend,” Alastair said finally.

     And there it was.  Dean braced himself.  His personal torture, his weakness, and the comparison to his father had all been covered all the way back in Hell.  This was new territory – Alastair had saved the best for last, like Dean had known he would.

     “Word on the street says, she’s into you,” Alastair continued.  “But you’re too… honorable.”

     Dean remained impassive.  “She doesn’t know yet, does she?” Alastair asked.  “She doesn’t know just how much your soul is actually tarnished, and why you really like her so much.”

     She did now, Dean thought.  Thanks to you.

     “Being… honorable is such a shame,” Alastair said, ”When you’re so into her.”  Alastair thought for a second.  “I’d like to be into her,” he continued.  Dean had been waiting for that one, but it didn’t make him any less angry to finally hear it.  “She got the better of me though, when I didn’t expect it.  Knifed her own client all to hell.  I’ll admit it, I underestimated her.”

     Dean was happy to hear it, but he knew Alastair wouldn’t end there:  the taunting would continue.  “I’ve never met anyone with quite so much…” but he stopped to groan, as Dean had sent another bout of holy water through his veins.

     It was five minutes before he picked up that train of thought again.  “Look, Dean, your girl is hot.  The things I would do to that girl…” Dean felt his blood boil.  He couldn’t show a response.  Poker face.  Poker face, and he’d break soon.  “It’s a shame Lilith won’t give me the chance.” 

     Dean looked up, surprised, and stopped the torture for the first time in minutes.  “As a matter of fact, Alastair, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.  What did you mean when you told Ember that Lilith is interested in her?”  He smiled.  “Start talking about that, and I won’t even pick up a knife until you run out of things to talk about.”

     Alastair smiled.  “I’ll tell you that one for free, grasshopper,” he said.  “Your girl could be powerful, far more powerful than she is now – far more powerful than I am, even, if she ever succumbed to her demon side.  She’s holding back… but with a little nudge, she could be the most powerful being, currently, to walk the Earth.”

     Dean gave Alastair a fake apologetic look.  “Too much talk, not enough information,” he said, picking up the syringe again.

     “Lilith has big plans for her,” Alastair continued, not bothering to speed up his drawling voice.  “Maybe she’ll even be Lucifer’s queen.”

     “Lucifer’s queen?” Dean said incredulously, but he stalled the syringe just the same.

     Alastair shrugged, as best he was able in the manacles.  “Everyone needs someone to walk through life with.  Maybe she’ll be his queen… maybe the commander of his army.  She’s powerful enough to be either one.  But I’ve got to warn you Dean, not all demons are as nice as I am… not all demons care what Lilith’s got to say…”

     Dean went over to the table and grabbed a funnel and some holy water and hot coals.  Alastair gave an involuntary twitch, though his face remained impassive.  “All the demons know who your little girlfriend is, now, even the ones that don’t care for Lilith.  That’s a bad position for your pretty little girlfriend to be in, trust me.  I’d put my hands on her… before someone else does.”  Alastair grinned a wide, insane grin.  “And maybe after, too, if she’s still around.”

     Dean kept his face impassive, with great effort.  “Break time’s over then,” he said, and poured the coals down Alastair’s throat.”

***Ember POV***

March 21, Early morning

    Ten minutes later, Sam joined Ember outside of the motel.  He stopped when he saw her, and Ember could see him struggle for control for a quick second. 

     “You good?” she asked him.

     “Yeah, I’m good,” he said.  “Let’s go.”

     And off they went.

***Dean POV***

March 21, Early morning

     “Something caught in my throat,” Alastair said.  “I think it’s my throat!”

     “Well, strap in,” said Dean, “‘Cause I’m just starting to have fun.”  It was a nice sentiment, but they both knew the torture session was ending quickly.  Dean wouldn’t have risked the coals down the throat if it wasn’t:  too many more of those, and Alastair wouldn’t be able to talk at all, thus defeating the purpose of this exercise.  Dean knew he could handle a few more doses and still be able to communicate, though, if he needed.  Alastair was getting desperate.  He was so close, and it had taken far less time than Dean had imagined.

     “You know,” Alastair said, “It was supposed to be your father.”

     Seriously?  Alastair was going back to that topic again?  They had covered that only a few hours ago – hell, they had covered that back in Hell. 

     “He was supposed to bring it on.  But in the end, it was you,” Alastair continued.

     Dean was only halfway listening as he poured salt on the demon knife.  “Bring what on?”

     “Every night, the same offer, remember?  Same as your father.  And finally, you said, ‘sign me up.’  The first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch… that was the first seal.”

     And Dean lost it.  All the control he had worked for, so hard, for the past several hours… gone, in a second.  He was scattered on the inside, his heart pumping out of control, his grip on the knife tightening.  He tried his best to maintain, however, forcing his face into a smirk.  “You’re lying,” he said.

     Alastair was not fooled.  “And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell.”  And as he spoke, Alastair seemed to grow taller, even on the rack, even now in this withered, dying body that was so much less fitting than the demon Dean knew from Hell.  “As he breaks, so shall it break.”

     Dean had lost control completely, and turned away before Alastair could see, though he knew it wouldn’t help.  “We had to break the first seal before any others.  Only way to get the dominos to fall right.  Topple the one at the front of the line.  When we win… when we bring on the apocalypse and burn this Earth down, we’ll owe it all to you… Dean Winchester.  Believe me son… I wouldn’t lie about this.  It’s kind of a… religious sort of thing for me.”

     All shreds of control were completely gone.  Gone was the thought of the dying angels, of Sam, of Ember, and of his father.  There was only the demon knife, and Alastair, and death.  “No.  I don’t think you are lying,” Dean admitted.  He took another look at his knife, knowing he was failing the angels, and simply not giving a damn.  “But even if the demons do win… you won’t be there to see it.”

     But when he turned around, Alastair was standing right behind him.  “You should talk to your plumber about the pipes,” he said, and before Dean could think, before he could even react, he knew no more.

***Castiel POV***

March 21, Late Night

     What had gone wrong?  Castiel had done everything perfectly.  He had made a thousand devil’s traps before.  It wasn’t possible that he could have made this one wrong.  There was no reason that Alastair should have escaped, no reason that Dean should have almost died.  And yet here he was, in a hospital bed, in a coma, and Castiel couldn’t even heal him.  Castiel had failed.  If Sam hadn’t gotten there in time…

     Sam and Ember confronted Castiel in the hallway of the hospital.  He knew they were angry with him.  He thought about flying away, but he supposed he owed Sam, at least, an explanation.

     “Get in there and heal him,” Sam demanded.  “Miracle.  Now!”

     “I can’t,” Castiel said resolutely.

     “You and Uriel put him in there because you can’t keep a simple devil’s trap together!”

     “No.  I don’t know what happened.  That trap… it shouldn’t have broken.  I am sorry.”  He knew his words were useless. 

     “This whole thing was pointless,” Sam said, towering over him.  “Do you understand that?  The demons aren’t doing the hits.  Something else is killing your soldiers.”

     “Perhaps Alastair was lying,” Castiel said.  As he said it, however, he knew it wasn’t the truth.

     “No,” said Sam.  “He wasn’t.”  And Sam walked away.

     Ember was next to chastise him.  Ember confused Castiel. He could not understand why he felt drawn to her, and it made him uncomfortable. She also did not fit with any of the things he knew about demons, or even half-demons. Apparently, even his superiors were confused by her, so perhaps that was okay. 

     She was staring at him with pure loathing, and he felt an uncomfortable amount of guilt.  “I’ve always wanted so badly to go to Heaven,” she said venomously.  “I’ve worked my whole life to overcome my demon side, to be good, to be righteous.  But maybe I had the wrong idea about Heaven… because you disgust me.” 

     There was another man walking down the hall nearby, and so Ember moved closer to Castiel so that she could whisper.  Castiel could feel goosebumps travel down his spine, which surprised him for a second… seriously, what was wrong with this vessel?!?!  Every time he was around her he always felt so sinfully good…

     “Castiel,” she said, and he looked at her, startled.  “I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today.”

     And then she walked away, and Castiel stood frozen in the hospital hallway, filled with fear and doubt. 

***Ember POV***

March 30, Late Night

     Dean had been in a coma for nine days, but the doctors were hopeful. 

     Ember and Sam had been by his bedside for the majority of the nine days.  To protect from any demons or angels that might take advantage of the fact that Dean was unconscious, Ember took turns with Sam and Bobby keeping watch over Dean’s bedside.  Due to her ability to become invisible and the inconvenience of hospital visitation hours, Ember was assigned the “night watch.”

     It wasn’t so bad.  For the past four days, the other bed in Dean’s room had been empty, so Ember had been able to get some sleep.  She had the distinct impression that this had to do with the fact that the last two occupants of the bed had sworn the room had been “haunted”, and also possibly with the fact that she and Sam kept showing up with more and more books about demons and the occult.  Ember did what she could to perpetuate the rumor, since the empty bed assisted with her ability to get some sleep during the nights.

    Ember now spent most of the day at the hospital as well.  During the days, Ember and Sam continued to research Lilith and the apocalypse, though they were running out of books that they hadn’t already read.  Sometimes Sam would tell Ember stories about Dean and his adventures, and Ember enjoyed these moments the most.

     On the ninth day after the incident with the angels, Ember was just drifting off to sleep in the bed next to Dean’s when Castiel entered the room. 
     “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up,” she told the angel.  She knew he had seen her, so she hadn’t bothered to become visible.

     “We’ve heard a rumor that the demons know where Dean is,” said Castiel.  “I came to watch over him while he is vulnerable, but it seems you already have that covered.”

     “Yeah, thanks but no thanks,” snapped Ember.

     They were silent for a long time, nearly two hours.  Eventually, despite Castiel, Ember felt herself fighting sleep.  She was just drifting off to sleep again when she heard Castiel say in his deep voice, “Are you alright?”

     With a start, she realized that Dean was awake.  Both of his eyes were open, and he was staring at Castiel.  “No thanks to you,” he said hoarsely.

     “You need to be more careful,” said Castiel.

     “You need to learn to manage a damn devil’s trap,” said Dean.

     “That’s not what I mean,” said Castiel.  Then he added, “Uriel is dead.”

     “Was it the demons?” asked Dean.

     “It was disobedience,” Castiel said.  “He was working against us.”  It occurred to Ember suddenly that she was invisible.  She considered briefly showing herself, but then she realized that Dean and Castiel were having a conversation that perhaps they wouldn’t have if she interrupted it.  Apparently Castiel was willing to talk to Dean, and she wanted the information he was giving.

     “Is it true?” Dean asked suddenly.  “Did I break the first seal?”

     Ember’s heart plummeted, and Castiel’s eyes darted her way for just a second, then back to Dean.  “Did I start all this?” Dean asked.

     “Yes,” said Castiel, and Ember felt as though her heart had dropped through the floor.  Castiel continued.  “When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to Hell.  And we fought our way to get to you before you…”

     “Jump-started the apocalypse,” Dean finished.

     Ember’s mind was whirling.  It can’t be true.

     “But we were too late,” Castiel said.

     “Why didn’t you just leave me there then?” Dean asked miserably.

     “It’s not… blame that falls on you, Dean.  It’s fate.  And the righteous man who begins it… is the only one who can finish it.”  Ember felt as though she was going to throw up as Castiel said, “You have to stop it.”

     “Lucifer?” asked Dean with horror.  “The apocalypse?”  Ember felt guilty for watching this exchange, but it was too late now.  “What does that mean?”

     Castiel squirmed uncomfortably.  “Hey!” Dean yelled at him.  “Don’t you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch!  What does that mean?”

     “I don’t know,” said Castiel.

     “Bull!” Dean yelled.

     “I don’t,” whispered Castiel.  “Dean, they don’t tell me much.  I know… how our fate rests with you.”

     “Well then you guys are screwed,” Dean said, not looking at Castiel.  “I can’t do it, Cas.  It’s too big.  Alastair was right.  I’m not all here.  I’m not – I’m not strong enough.  I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be.”

     Ember felt her heart go out to Dean.  “Find someone else,” he continued.  “It’s not me.”

     Castiel looked at him sadly, but said nothing.  Soon after, Ember heard Dean’s breathing again, and knew he had fallen asleep once more.

***Ember POV***

March 31, Early morning

     Ember was reading a passage of The Apocalypse:  A Trajectory when she heard Dean’s voice once more:  “Hello?  Is anyone there?”

     She felt her hair, making sure that it wasn’t sticking up in odd places, and showed herself.

     “Ember,” he said hoarsely.

     “Hey Dean,” she said, coming near his bed.  “You look like shit.”

     He gave a wan smile.  “And you’re beautiful,” he said.  He thought for a second.  “Where is everyone else?”

     Ember gestured toward the rooms’ only window.  “It’s night, Dean.  Visitation hours are over, and I can become invisible.”  She shrugged.  “I’m on guard duty.”

     He thought for a second, turning his gaze on her.  Slowly, he said, “Did Castiel visit earlier?”

     Ember thought she must have looked guilty.  “Yeah,” she said.  To distract herself from how uncomfortable she felt about what she’d overheard earlier, she decided to make a joke.  “He was here.  We’re not very happy with him, but we’ve decided not to kill him for the time being… as if we even could.”

     Dean searched her face.  “Did you hear… how much did you hear?”

     She was busted, and she knew it.  She should’ve known:  even coming out of a coma, Dean was sharp and alert.  She sighed.  “I heard enough.”  A range of emotions flashed on Dean’s face:  anger, hurt, guilt, pain.  “I’m sorry,” she said quickly.  “It’s just… sometimes I forget I’m invisible.  And by the time I remembered, and realized what you were talking about… I didn’t mean to overhear.”

     Dean’s face eventually settled on a mixture of resolve and guilt.  “Why are you still here?” he asked.

     The question threw her off guard, but she quickly realized what he meant.  “Dean, where am I going to go?” she asked him, moving closer.  “I’m in this too,” she told him.  “The demons obviously have something big planned for me, and the angels are, if anything, even scarier.”  She smiled.  “And I, for one, am going to throw my chips in with the most righteous man on either side.”  She took his hand.  He flinched at her touch, but did not draw away.  If anything, he held on tighter.  “Plus, it works out,” she added.  “As I happen to be rather fond of him.”

     Dean stared at her, and she could tell he was trying to recover his tough exterior.  “You could go somewhere,” he said, hoarsely, “somewhere far away, for awhile.  Like… I don’t know, Bora Bora.  Somewhere nobody expects.”

     Ember raised her eyebrows, but otherwise ignored him.  “Do you want a nurse?” she asked.  “They ought to check on you now that you’ve woken up.  Dean, you’ve been in a coma for nine days.”

     “Damn it!” he said.  It sounded like he meant it to sound loud and mean, but it came out hoarse and was accompanied by a wince of pain. 

     Ember only had a few seconds’ warning before a nurse came in.  “Oh my goodness, you’re awake!” she exclaimed.  “Hold on, I’ll grab the on-call doctor.”

     It was nearly twenty minutes before Ember was alone with Dean in the room again, at which point she once more became visible.  “I have a theory,” she said, before he could begin talking, “about the apocalypse.”

     He looked at her, and she could tell he was curious; her attempt to distract him from his guilt had worked.  “I’ve done some research about the whole ‘righteous man sheds blood in Hell’ thing,” she said.  Dean winced, but otherwise said nothing.

     “It’s pretty obscure,” Ember continued, “but now that I know what to look for, it’s not unheard of.  There are a few people that have some theories.”  Ember paused.  “In order to fit the criteria, first off, sources agree that whoever starts the apocaylpse had to be someone who had gone to Hell to prevent or protect someone else’s death.  Like you, or your father, or that lawyer you told me about that made a deal with the crossroads demon to save his wife from cancer.”

     “Okay,” Dean said, paying rapt attention.

     “But to be considered righteous...” Ember shook her head.  “There’s one source that suggests that a righteous man must be one that has spent his life helping others, getting very little in return.  So… someone like a nun… only they would never make a deal with a demon.”

     “So?” Dean asked, barely looking at Ember.

     “Don’t you get it?” she said vehemently, and he looked at her in surprise.  “How many people fit both of those criteria?  How long do you think the demons have waited for someone like you or your father, or even Sam, to come downstairs?”

     Dean looked surprised, but hopeful, and Ember continued.  “Dean, they planned this.  Azazel planned this, when he brought your father to Hell.  Lilith planned this.  This has been in the works for thousands of years.  I mean, come on, even the angel told you it wasn’t your fault!”

     Dean looked like he was thinking hard, as though he wanted to believe it.  “I mean, hell, Dean, do you want proof?  They didn’t have just any demon working on you and your father – they gave you Alastair, torture extraordinaire.”  Dean winced again at the name, and Ember continued.  “It didn’t matter whether it was 30 years, or 100 years, or a thousand years.  It had to be you or your father, and they would’ve taken however long it-…”

     “Alastair,” Dean said suddenly, his voice harsher than usual.  “What happened?  How did I get away?  Do you know?”

     Ember stared at him defiantly.  Dean didn’t have to know the whole story.  She and Sam had rushed in to find Dean unconscious and Alastair about to kill Castiel.  Sam had used his demon powers to kill the demon…

     But it didn’t matter.  Knowing what she now knew about Dean, and about Alastair, the demon couldn’t be left alive.

     “Sam, Cas, and I killed him,” she said, daring him to challenge her.

     “How?”

     “A group effort, using all of our powers.”

     Again, Dean appeared to struggle through a range of emotions:  surprise, fear, and exhaustion being the primary ones.  Finally, he settled on relief.  He looked up at Ember slowly, and gave her a wan smile.  “Ember, I don’t know why the hell you’re still around.  But you should be my girl, or… or whatever I can get.  Because I sure as hell am gonna need you.”

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

March 31, Late afternoon

Recovery, Day 2:

     Dean woke up to the undeniable smell of “hospital.” 

     His first thought was, “God damn it.  The apocalypse.”

     His second thought was, “Ember.  At least that’s gone right.”

     “Dean, you’re awake!” said Ember.  She was here!  “How do you feel?”

     “Never better!” he said.  He continued to be surprised at how hoarse he sounded.  At least they’d taken off the breathing tubes, he discovered.

     “You’re on a lot of pain pills,” she said. 

     “That’s probably a good thing.”

     Dean suddenly realized he was horribly thirsty.  He saw some water on the table, and moved toward it.  When he did so, he immediately felt dizzy, as if he had spun around several times and gone flying.  It was also very painful, and he let out an involuntary grunt.

     Ember rolled her eyes, and picked up the water, holding it up to him.  Dean braced himself, then forced his hand up to hold the water himself.

     “I wish Cas would’ve healed you,” Ember said regretfully.

     “I wouldn’t let him do shit for me, especially mess with my insides.”

     Sam walked in then, a large batch of books in his arms.  “Dean!” he said, dropping the books on the table in front of Ember.  “Finally!  I’ve been here all morning, but you’ve been asleep!”

     “What did you get?” Dean asked him, looking at the books in his hand.

     “A bunch of stuff I put on the waiting list at the local library,” said Sam.  “I put some more on reserve, too.”

     “Thanks,” Ember said.  She looked carefully at the pile of books.  “I’ve read that one,” she said, pointing at one of the books Sam laid on the table.  “And that one.  And that one won’t help us, I’ve pored through it and it’s all fiction, and terribly written.  But that one might help us.  They don’t have a copy of that one yet at the Sioux Falls library.  It’s still on the waiting list.”

     Dean reached out toward them to gesture for them to pass him a book, but grunted in pain and dizziness again, causing them both to look back at him.

     “Dude.  You’ve gotta stay still,” Sam said.  “You know you just woke up from a coma, right?”

     “I think you’re due for another dose of pain pills,” Ember said.  “I’ll call the nurse.”

     “What the hell did Alastair do to me?” Dean asked.

     “Well, you weren’t kidding about him,” Ember said, turning to face Dean and shooting him a sad look.  She pressed the “Nurse Call” button on the bedside remote.  “The guy’s a master craftsman.  Knows exactly where to punch.”

     “Your skull is fractured in six places,” Sam said.

     “What the hell?  He only hit me twice!”

     “He’s a demon,” Ember pointed out, “and a fairly strong one at that.”
     “This is ridiculous,” Dean said.  “Give me a book, I’ll look through one of those.”

     Ember and Sam both sent him looks of pity, but Sam obediently picked up a book off the table.  Dean reached out to grab it, immediately feeling the dizziness once again.  This time, he held back the involuntary gasp.  When he looked at the words on the page, however, the dizziness came back in full force.  Shortly after that, he could see, out of the corner of his eye, a nurse adjusting his IV again.  Then he knew no more.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     The next time Dean awoke, it was dark outside.  He saw no one, but he could feel that Ember’s hand was in his.  Suddenly, she became visible again.

     “Hey beautiful,” he said.

     “Dean!” she whispered. 

     He turned his head, and felt the dizziness again.  “Stop trying to move,” Ember whispered.

     “I just wanted to see your face,” he told her.

     She smiled.  “I have to admit, Dean, I’m not sure whether I’m enjoying this side of you, or if it makes me uncomfortable.”

     “Meaning?”

     “I guess I got used to you trying to get me into bed.”

     “I haven’t tried to get you into bed in three months,” he pouted softly.  It was the first time since the incident with the siren (back in February) that either of them had spoken about the incident with Anna (in November) and the dissolution of what they’d had before that.  Still, the whole episode seemed so far away by now that neither of them cared.

     “I suppose that’s true,” Ember said.  “But I don’t doubt you’ll be doing it a lot more after the conversation you had with me yesterday.”

     Dean smiled knowingly.  “You mean now that we’re a thing?”

     “I wasn’t sure if you actually remembered having that conversation,” Ember admitted.

     “I do,” Dean said with a hint of his old grin.  “And yes, I suppose I will be trying to get you into bed a lot more often.”  Dean thought a moment, and the beginnings of a new feeling came over him.  The pain had subsided for the moment and the dizziness had gone away now that he’d picked a position.  “Come to think about it, when is that going to happen?”

     “Let’s start with you being able to move around without falling over, and we’ll go from there,” Ember said, her eyes dancing.

     Dean grinned again, at least as much as he could muster.  “Challenge accepted!” he said.

     “Dean, that wasn’t a-…”

     But Dean didn’t get far.

***Dean POV***

April 1, Evening

Recovery, Day 3

     By the end of his third day in the hospital, Dean had regained the ability to move around without getting dizzy, as long as he didn’t move too fast.  Reading or watching TV was still difficult, however, for long periods of time, as he would once again become dizzy.  He knew that if he admitted this, Ember would offer to read to him, and Sam would make fun of him and then offer to read to him, so he chose not to admit it.  As a result, he was spending a lot of time pretending to read or watch television.  Therefore, he was spending a lot of time bored.

     “When the hell are they going to release me?” he said irritably to Sam when he came to visit.

     “In a couple of days,” Sam said for the third time that day.  “When they get the final scans back and they can make sure there’s no internal bleeding.”

     “They can’t have figured that out after three days?”

     “Dean, if Alastair had punched your skull in a millimeter more it would’ve stabbed completely into your brain, and the only reason you’d ever see me again is to treat your therapy needs,” Ember said.

     Dean had no answer for that.  Instead, he began to formulate a plan.

***Dean POV***

April 2, Morning

Recovery, Day 4

     On the morning of the fourth day in the hospital, Dean was awakened by voices. 

     “I’m not surprised,” Sam was saying.

     “Idgit,” said Bobby.

     “They really should’ve let him go home,” Ember said.  “He’s clearly recovered his danger addiction and his faculties, if not his common sense.  I couldn’t talk him out of it.  Believe me, I tried.  But, the nurses got him, in the end.”

     Dean looked down and, sure enough, he was strapped to the bed with leather straps.

     Bits and pieces of last night began to come back to him, as well as a dull ache in his side from where he’d fallen the previous night.  He gave a slow grin.  “I may have tried to leave last night.”

     “And how did that work for you, ya idgit?” asked Bobby.

     “Still here, aren’t I?” he snapped.

***Dean POV***

April 3, Morning

Recovery, Day 5

     “Mr. Kavorki, if you try to leave, we won’t stop you at this point,” the doctor was saying to Dean.

     “You tried to stop me the night before last,” Dean shot back as he slowly moved around the hospital room, gathering his belongings.

     “That was because you couldn’t walk straight,” the doctor replied.  “You made it down to the ER, and the night shift thought you were either drunk or psychotic.” 

     Dean ignored Ember and Sam, who were both sniggering.  “But you’re saying there’s still a chance of internal bleeding?”

     “We’d like to keep you a couple more days for observation,” the doctor admitted.  “You’re out of what we consider to be the ‘danger zone’, but stranger things have happened.  You were roughed up pretty bad, there, young man.  You’ve got to take care of yourself.”

     “I appreciate everything you have done,” Dean said, “but I’m going home.  If I have to spend one more day in this damn hospital room, I’ll bore myself back into a coma.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

    Aside from the issue of the apocalypse, Dean felt 100% better.  He had showered, shaved, and put on clean clothes.  Afterward, he made a beeline to Ember’s room.

     Life was too short.  He had been to Hell, he had been to the hospital, the Apocalypse was imminent, and he was tired of waiting.  He was tired of the guilt, too.  Ember’s words about being a righteous man had made him feel better, and a sense of determination had overcome him.  He would stop the apocalypse.  And he would do it with Ember, for Ember.

     As soon as Ember answered the door, he kissed her.  She was warm in his arms, and smelled like shampoo.  Her lips were soft, and tasted like candy.  She responded readily, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth slowly, cupping her head while leaning her against the wall to support both of them.

     Dean wasn’t sure how long they stood there, just kissing, before he finally stepped back.  He did know it had been the best kiss of his life.  Victory, at last.  Her hair was frayed, and her lips were pouty and looking thoroughly kissed.  “I’m taking you out to dinner,” he proclaimed.

     In slow motion, her face fell.  “Maybe tomorrow, but tonight the guys were hoping we could all go out to dinner.  They want to celebrate.”

     Dean groaned.  “Fine.  But somebody better spring for steak.  And pie!  I miss pie.”

     The dinner they had that night was one that Dean would remember for the rest of his life.  He ate a very expensive steak, and he and Ember kept shooting each other “looks” when nobody else was looking.  Afterward, the four of them talked late into the night about the coming apocalypse.  Dean had been eager to leave the hospital so that he could have more alone time with Ember (in addition to all of the obvious reasons one hates the hospital).  He quickly realized, however, that the others had all been eager for him to leave the hospital in order to discuss the latest episode of the unfolding apocalypse in a safe environment (without nurses that might possibly have been demons, and with a decent internet connection, for example).

     “Dude.”  Dean said to Sam when Ember went to throw some laundry into the washing machine and Bobby went to go grab a six pack.  “Can’t you make some excuse and go to bed so Bobby will follow?  You’re supposed to be my brother!”

     Sam shrugged.  “Look, if you’re that…” he grinned, “sexually frustrated, just use the Impala or one of the junk cars.”

     Dean glared at him, because they both knew the truth.  You didn’t have sex for the first time with a girl like Ember in a junk car.  While the Impala might have been a decent option, he would never make the suggestion because he knew that both of them would associate it with their fight about Anna.  Sex had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it had cost him dearly.

     At this point, alone time would be happening in the house, or not at all.

     Dean finally got his chance after midnight.  They had come to a lull in the conversation, and Sam and Bobby both finally decided to go to bed.

     “Yeah, I’m going too,” Ember said.  “I’ll come up in a second.  Let me grab my things out of the dryer.”

     Dean waited until Sam and Bobby had gone upstairs before making a beeline for the wash room and putting his arms around Ember from behind, kissing her neck.  Ember responded in kind, giggling and circling around in his arms.  Though it cost him dearly and made him swoon a little, he picked her up and placed her on the top of the dryer, then flattened himself against it, her legs around him on either side.

     Then they were kissing fiercely, and Dean wasn’t sure where his mouth ended and Ember’s began.  He paused when Ember pulled his shirt off, and her hands felt like fire on the flat planes of his chest.  He knew she could feel his hardness, and she squirmed against it, making him groan into her mouth.  Slowly, he began to pull her shirt up, teasing the sensitive skin on her side, just above her jeans.  Meanwhile he sucked at her neck, then kissed down her front to where her breasts were partially visible in her V-neck top. 

     Just when he was thinking about taking things farther, however, he heard footsteps walk by and realized that Bobby was in the kitchen.  Before he had time to react, Bobby came through the door, causing him and Ember to immediately jump away from each other.  Ember stood fixing her top, her face red, and Dean offered Bobby a big grin, combined with a shrug.  Bobby had his shotgun with him, and Dean knew he must have heard a noise and come after them, thinking they might have been a demon. 

     “Balls!” Bobby screamed.  Then, as if each word cost him a bit of his dignity, Bobby added, “If you want to do that, go get a hotel, or do it in the Impala!  Next time I catch you in my house with a shitty grin on your face, Dean Winchester, I’ll give you another skull fracture!”

***Dean POV***

April 4, Morning

Recovery Day 6

     When Dean came downstairs the next morning, he was surprised to see Sam already wide awake, and the table laid out with pancakes, crepes, eggs, and sausages.  Bobby and Ember were nowhere to be found, and Dean knew immediately that this wasn’t good.  The fact that the food was from a local restaurant meant that Sam had supplied it.  The fact that Sam had supplied him with a spread of food meant that something was wrong.

     “What happened?” Dean asked, suddenly wide awake.

     “Ember and Bobby had to go take care of a situation,” Sam said.  “They’ll be back in a few days.” 

     “What kind of a situation?” was Dean’s first question.

     Sam sighed.  “Some low-level demons kidnapped some of Ember’s friends to try to get to her,” he answered. 

     “Her mother?” Dean asked in alarm.

     Sam laughed.  “Nah, her mother’s too good.  And her friend Mike shot one of them in the leg when they tried to take him this morning, and salted his door after that.  He called Ember at 4AM this morning, and she and Bobby went south.”

     Dean knew he’d liked Mike.  He was still worried about Ember, however.  “So what was the situation, then?”  He was in the process of getting his coat and scooping up some of the eggs.

     “Well, Ember called me again a couple of hours after she was on the road.  Another couple of friends had called… two female friends.  The demons got to them instead.”

     “Shit!” Dean swore, scarfing down more eggs.

     “Where do you think you’re going?” Sam snapped, standing in front of the door and crossing his arms.

     “To Indiana,” Dean said frankly.

     “No, you’re not,” Sam said.  “Why do you think I stayed behind?”

     “If you honestly think I’m going to stay here while-…” Dean began.

     “Ember doesn’t want you to go,” Sam said.  “Check the note on the table.”

     So Dean did.

Hi Dean,

     I’m sorry I had to bail on you like this, but it was either this or tie you to the bed like they did at the hospital.

     From what we’ve been able to ascertain from Ruby, these guys are pretty dumb.  They might have heard about me from other demons, or they might be making a play against Lucifer or Lilith… there doesn’t seem to be any apocalypse-related movement, however.  I promise, if there’s anything suggesting otherwise, both you and Sam can come help.

     Please, please, PLEASE, Dean, otherwise, stay HOME.  Bobby and I can take care of ourselves.  You need to be resting.  As it is, you’d be a liability, for both of us.  If the positions were reversed, you’d say the same, and you’d be right. 

     If you do this for me, as soon as I get back, you can have me – any time, in any position.

     “Son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed, and threw the note down on the table, stomping back to his room.

***Dean POV***

April 11, Morning

(One Week Later)

     “Dean, if you speed any faster, you’re going to wreck the damn car!” snapped Sam.  It was one week later, and Ember and Bobby had finally finished clearing out the small sect of demons (all 12 of them) who had hoped to oppose Lilith and Lucifer.  The entire thing had been done with 0 casualties, and only 3 injuries, mostly with the help of Ember’s invisibility.  Bobby had been stabbed in the forearm, but even that would heal in a week or two.  And, Dean had been good, and stayed out of the way while he recovered.  Sam had called him “surly” and “an alcoholic” and threatened to tell Ember how much whiskey he was drinking, but aside from that it had been horribly boring and uneventful.  As of yesterday, however, he could officially complete an entire 30-minute workout and sparring session without any signs of dizziness.

     Ember was supposed to have arrived back at Bobby’s that day, but instead Sam had caught wind of a case in Bloomington, Indiana.  Threfore, only Bobby headed back, after Sam and Dean met up with Ember in the Midwest.

     “I’m not going to wreck Baby,” Dean protested.  “I’m just in a good mood.”

     Sam laughed, and the two went silent for awhile.

     Finally, Dean broke the silence.  “Look, this evening, can you throw me a bone here and take about 3 hours and go… like, anywhere?”

     Sam snorted with laughter.  “Three hours?  Seriously?”

     Dean gave him a derisive look, and he stopped short.  “Oh… oh my God!  I forgot!  You haven’t ‘done it’ yet, have you?”  He snickered.  “Holy shit, dude!”  After he stopped laughing, however, he said, “Fine, man.  But you owe me.”

***Ember POV***

April 11, Afternoon

     Of all of the cases they’d ever done, this one might be the weirdest.  Dean and Sam were investigating a possible case when they stumbled upon, miraculously, a series of books detailing their lives over the past three years.  The book series, called “Supernatural” and written by Carver Edlund, began when Dean had pulled Sam out of college, and ended with Dean going to Hell.  The brothers bought all of the books they could get their hands on, and headed back to the hotel for some research.

     As Ember hadn’t entered into Dean’s life until after he returned from Hell, she found the entire thing hysterical.  Dean’s discovery that fans of the books had written fanfiction depicting the brothers in a relationship was particulary funny to her, causing her to laugh for several minutes as both brothers glared at her.

     Eventually, Ember and the brothers managed to track down the supposed “author”, whose real name was Chuck Shurley.  He didn’t believe them at first – he was completely under the impression that they were fictional characters, and that he had been writing about them all this time.  Apparently, he’d written more, too, though it had never been published.  He knew about the angels, about the 66 seals, and even about Ember.  At that point, Ember (who had begun the visit invisible) showed herself, and Chuck was forced to believe that the three of them were telling the truth.

     “There’s only one explanation,” Chuck said.  “Obviously I’m a god.”

     Ember choked back laughter, and Sam said, “You’re not a god.”

     “How else do you explain it?  I write things and then they come to life.  Yeah, no, I’m definitely a god.  A cruel, capricious god!”

     Chuck wasn’t a god, of course; he was a prophet, according to Castiel.  “A mouthpiece,” Castiel explained.  “A conduit, for the inspired word.”

     More importantly, according to Chuck, Sam would be confronted by Lilith that very night, and end up “in the throes of fiery demonic passion.”  Castiel said there was no way around this:  “As he has seen it, so it shall come to pass.”  Dean was determined, however, to somehow circumvent the prophecy.

     “Dean, maybe Castiel is right,” said Ember.  “But there’s still hope.  We don’t know what happens after the demonic passion or whatever.  Maybe we still can defeat her!”

    “How?” Dean said, giving Ember an annoyed look.  “Your powers aren’t strong enough.  I don’t have any powers.  And Sam…”

    But therein lie the problem.  For the entire afternoon, ever since Chuck’s prophecy about Lilith, Ember had been at war with herself over whether to tell Dean about Sam drinking the demon blood.  She wanted with all of her being to tell Dean what was going on, but she also desperately did not want to be the one to drive this wedge between the brothers.  Finally, Ember swore to herself that the next time she got the chance to talk to Sam alone, she would give him an ultimatum:  tell Dean, or Ember would tell him herself.

     “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Dean said, determined to leave town at any cost.”

     But Sam had other plans.  He wanted to face Lilith.  He hadn’t forgiven her, Ember knew, for his time alone while Dean was in Hell.  He was angry, and he was going to get himself killed… or worse.

     “Lilith is going to slaughter you,” Dean said, angrily grabbing bags from around their hotel room.

     “Maybe she will.  Maybe she won’t,” Sam said, while Ember glared at him.

     “So what, you think you can take her?” Dean challenged.

     “Only one way to find out, Dean, and I say bring her on.”  Ember and Dean both opened their mouths to speak, but Sam said, “You think I’ll do it, don’t you?  You think I’ll go dark side.”

     “Yes!” said both Dean and Ember at the same time. 

     “You too?” Sam snapped at her.

     “Don’t drag me into this,” Ember snapped.  “I’ve tried really hard to stay away from this one.”

     “See, well, if she thinks you’ll go dark side, that’s even worse, because I’m pretty sure she’s figured out whatever the hell you’re keeping from me,” Dean snapped at Sam.  “But even the things I know scare the hell out of me, man.  Like the way you’ve been acting lately, and the things you’ve been doing.  The two of you ripped Alastair apart like you were swatting a fly.”  Ember and Sam looked at Dean, stunned.

     “Cas told me,” he said.  “But even if he hadn’t, I already know that Ember wasn’t able to overpower Alastair completely.  Come on, we figured that out when Alastair dropped by her house, so that had to be you, Sam.”

     Ember shrank into the corner, and Sam had the nerve to look ashamed.  “What else did he tell you?” Sam asked.

     “Nothing I don’t already know,” Dean said.  “That you’ve been using your psychic crap, and you’ve been getting stronger.  We just don’t know why, and we don’t know how.  And worst of all, I see the way you look at Ember when you think I’m not looking, right after you come back from those meetings with Ruby that you won’t admit that you have.”

     “It’s not what you think,” Sam said.

     Ember couldn’t hold in her anger anymore.  “It’s not?” she challenged him, looking up to his tall frame.  “Really, it’s not?”

     “You use your powers!” Sam shot back at her, “and you’re getting stronger, too!  What’s the difference?”

     “Ohhhh, there’s a big difference!” Ember shouted at him, “And we both know that!”

     But Sam refused to speak about the subject any longer.

     “What’s going on, Sam?” Dean yelled at his brother.  “Because I’m at a total loss!” 

     But Sam would not leave, and ultimately Dean threw his bags back on the chair, clearly resigning himself to stay with his brother.  He then angrily left the motel and wandered into the night, with Ember hurrying after him.

***Dean POV***

April 11, Evening

     Dean was angry, and hurt, and worried.  Ember caught up to him at a vending machine.

     “You should leave,” was the first thing Dean said.

     “And go where?” Ember asked again.  “Clearly you guys don’t realize this, but you act as a protection shield.  I’ve met up with less demons since I started living with Bobby and spending time with you guys than I have in months before that.  All the demons know who the Winchesters are, and apparently getting to me is not worth tangling with you.”

     “But Lilith-…”

     “Is coming for me, and it doesn’t matter how far away I go,” Ember told him gently.

     Dean sighed.  “I never should’ve gotten you into this.”

     “That was my choice.”

     Dean set his Coke on the top of the vending machine, and put his arms around Ember, crushing her to him.  She smelled like she always smelled, like shampoo and longing, and even in this situation he felt a strong pang of desire.  He wanted to get lost in her arms and never let go. 

     Instead, he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.  “Ember, what’s going on with Sam?” he asked her pleadingly.  “How is he getting so much stronger?”

     “Dean, I’m sorry,” Ember said, looking away.  “It has to be him who tells you.”

     “That’s not fair,” Dean said, dropping his arms from her shoulders.  “Lilith is coming tonight.”  He knew that she had been keeping this a secret from him for some time, and he understood that it was because it was Sam’s secret, not hers.  But if she could have saved him… he knew he could never forgive her.

     “Dean, there’s nothing you don’t know that would change tonight’s outcome,” Ember promised.  “Sam may be strong enough to fight Lilith, if he doesn’t go dark side.” 

     This didn’t help Dean’s mood, and he gave a snarl of fury.  Ember began to speak again.  “Dean, I’ve been bugging Sam to tell you for months, begging him to tell you.  I never would’ve kept it a secret if I thought you hadn’t already figured most of it out on your own, anyway.”

     Dean frowned.  There was an unspoken truth bouncing between the two of them:  Sam is becoming a demon.  “But how is he doing it?” Dean asked insistently.  “And why?”

     Ember laughed derisively.  “The why is because he thinks you need his help,” she confessed.  “He’s taken this burden upon himself, Dean.  And maybe he’s right, because at this point Lilith is all three of our burden.  But as for the how… Dean, he has to tell you that himself.  But I promise, knowing the answer to that won’t make a damn bit of difference tonight.” 

    Dean still looked pissed.  Ember sighed.  She didn’t want Dean to be mad, and truthfully this had gone too far.  “Dean, I agree with you.  You need to know, and there’s seriously no reason he hasn’t told you, other than that he’s ashamed.  But this has gone far enough.  I’ll go in and talk to him in a couple of minutes, once he’s cooled down.  I’ll tell him that if he doesn’t tell you what’s going on, then I’ll tell you, because this has gotten out of hand.  Okay?”

     Dean hugged her, sighing, and holding her close.  “Okay.”

     Ember searched around for something to do.  She wasn’t ready to talk to Sam again yet – she was too angry at him, and this was too important.  “Give me a couple of minutes to cool down, okay?” she asked him.  “Let’s… maybe we should pray to Castiel.”

***Dean POV***

April 11, Night

     As it turned out, praying to Castiel for help had been a very good idea.  According to Castiel, Chuck was tied to an archangel, meaning that if Dean brought Chuck to Lilith’s confrontation with Sam, the archangel would see Lilith as a threat and chase Lilith away.

     Chuck wasn’t willing to attend the confrontation and take the chance on whether or not the archangel would show up, but Dean also didn’t give him much of a choice. 

     Dean, Chuck, and Ember were almost too late; as Dean drove up, he could already see Sam struggling with a female form on his bed.  To his credit, Chuck ran in the door, screaming, “I am the prophet Chuck!”

     “You’ve got to be joking!” screamed Lilith.

     And then the walls started shaking.  “Oh, this is no joke!” said Dean over the roaring of the walls.  “See, Chuck here’s got an archangel on his shoulder.  You’ve got about ten seconds before this room is full of wrath and you’re a piece of charcoal.  You sure you want to tangle with that?”

     And with a final gust of fury, a cloud of black smoke erupted out of the woman’s mouth and flew out the window.  Immediately, the shaking stopped.  Dean let out a sigh of relief.  It’s over.

     Sam, who was on the bed, was the first to kneel over the blond girl whose body Lilith had inhabited.  “She’s still breathing,” Sam said.  “She needs to get to a hospital.”

     Dean realized suddenly that there was a hand in his, and looked down and met Ember’s eye.  Suddenly, an idea clunked into place in his mind.  As swiftly as the demon Lilith had left in a cloud of smoke, a new plan was emerging in Dean’s mind.  The danger is over.  On to other things.

     “Okay,” he said.  “Sam, why don’t you take her in the Impala?  You can take Chuck home, too.”  Dean gave Sam a wide grin.  Sam had known what had been on Dean’s mind for tonight before Chuck, before Lilith.  Sam owed him this much.

     Sam gave Dean a look of disgust, then obediently kneeled to pick up the blond girl. 

     Dean walked over to Chuck.  “Thanks for your help today, man.  I need you to do me one more solid though, okay?”

     “I’m not facing anymore demons,” Chuck said immediately, still shaken.

     “No, no worries,” Dean said.  “I was just gonna ask if Sam could stay at your house tonight, to… protect you, from any additional demons that might come to call.  That way you could protect Sam as well.  You could protect each other.”

     Chuck looked at Ember, then looked back at Dean.  “Okay,” he said, clearly understanding what was really going on. 

     Ember was looking at Dean with a half-smile, allowing his manipulation.  Good, he thought, Finally. 

     Sam caught Dean’s eye. “You’re a jerk, Dean.” 

     Dean picked up Sam’s bag for him, and followed Sam, the blond dental hygienist, and Chuck out to the Impala.    

     “Whatever,” Dean said to Sam.  “Just…” he looked back at Ember.  “Don’t call me unless there’s an emergency.”  He looked at Chuck.  “And don’t watch, you pervert.”

     Then he walked back into the hotel room with a smile.

     He and Ember collided halfway across the room.  His hands were around her and her tongue was in his mouth nearly before the door had slammed shut.  They stayed that way for a few seconds, with his hands tangled in her hair and behind her neck, until finally he felt her tug on his shirt, and he knew it was okay to go farther.  He allowed her to tug his shirt off, and he made quick work of her blouse.  She had a perfect pair of breasts, Dean thought, and he used one hand to unhook her bra.  She was busy feeling the planes of his hard chest, and her hand stopped on his upper arm, where Castiel’s hand print was still visible.  He saw her quirk a smile, and he remembered when he had shown it to her, the first day they had met.

     Dean used her distraction to lean and suck on her neck, and her intake of breath shot right to his groin.  Their mouths collided once again, and both found themselves backing up against the bed.  Dean had just lowered her onto the bed, and he could finally feel her beneath him-  “Hold on,” she said breathlessly.

     “What?” Dean asked, jumping up resignedly, barely keeping the frustration out of his voice.

     To his surprise, she jumped up into his arms again, and used her powers to force him lightly back toward the other bed.  He fell backward, and she climbed on top of him.  “Lilith was in that bed,” she said by way of explanation.  Oh, he thought briefly, That’s a good point.

     This time Dean found himself lying on his own bed, with Ember on top of him, and she circled her hips, making him groan in frustration.  Suddenly she became invisible, though he could still feel her.  Oh hell yes.  Dean watched as his jeans seemed to slide themselves down, freeing his erection.  He could feel her, suddenly, and it was the best feeling in the world, and it had been so long, and it was Ember, finally- 

     But Dean didn’t want this to be over too quickly.  He made a wild grab for Ember, and she squeaked as she suddenly became visible again.  Still, she allowed him to haul her upwards and switch their positions.  He made short work of her pants, and saw that she had black lace panties.  He might have paused to get a better look on a different day, but it was not the time to go slowly – they had the whole night for that, and they both knew it. 

     Still, he wanted to leave a lasting impression.  He had just begun to kiss between her thighs, however, when she whined, “Dean!” and pulled him upward, this time not using her powers.  Her gesture was ineffective, but he knew what she wanted, so he kissed upward, stopping only to kiss and suck around both her nipples.  She pulled him closer with her thighs, and they reached down together to line him up at her entrance.

     Finally, he shoved inside her.  He gave her time to get used to the feeling, but she whined again, urging him onward, and he began to thrust earnestly.  This was nothing like he’d ever experienced before.  It was almost as if they were made for each other, and it felt like coming home.

     It was an embarrassingly short time (compared to his usual stamina) before he began to feel that this would be over soon.  Still, just as he began to worry, he gave an almighty thrust, and he felt Ember’s walls close around him, and her back arched off the bed.  He followed her over the edge, and collapsed next to her seconds later.

***Ember POV***

April 12, Very Early Morning

     Ember never would’ve believed the hype about Dean Winchester, but perhaps there was something to it.  They had had sex (with a good amount of pillow talk in between) for nearly 3 hours.  As she finally fell off to sleep, it occurred to her that this situation (like most situations lately) was temporary.  The apocalypse would be over at some point (for better or for worse), and she and Dean would have to figure out what they were going to do next.  Perhaps someday she would be able to go back to her old life, and perhaps someday he might want something more than he had right now.  For now, though, she was happy.

Chapter Text

***Sam POV***

April 12, Morning

     Sam fully expected to find Dean and Ember lying naked in the bed asleep when he walked into the hotel room the next morning, but what he actually found was much worse.

     Both of them were fully dressed.  “Here’s the deal,” Ember said, her hands on her hips.  “We’re having an intervention.”

     Sam scoffed, laughed derisively, and turned the other way to leave.  He not unexpectedly found that his feet wouldn’t move.  He whirled his body around to face Ember once again.  “Really?  You’re going to use your powers on me?”  He gave an enormous effort, and found the control on his body break, which sent him overbalancing onto the bed.

     Ember towered over him, angrier than ever.  He could see the fury in her eyes, and for the smallest moment he was both afraid of her and also wildly attracted to her.  She narrowed her eyes.  “You broke my control, Sam.  You’re stronger than I am now.  You broke your promise to me.  Again.”

     Sam turned to leave the motel room once more; he needed air.  “If you leave this motel room, Sam Winchester, I swear to God I’ll tell him!” Ember screeched after him.

     He gave a laugh again.  “Whatever demon,” he said, and slammed the door on both of them.

***Sam POV***

April 12, Afternoon

     Sam opened the door of the hotel room once again, with trepidation.  As he expected, he had barely gotten past the threshold when a fist collided with his face.

     “Dean!” Ember screamed.

     “I probably deserved that,” Sam said, coughing from the floor.

     “Demon blood, Sammy!  What were you thinking?”

     “I wasn’t,” said Sam.  “Look, you were right, okay?”

     “I… what?” Dean asked.

     “You were right.  Look, I did a lot of thinking, okay.  I went to talk to Ruby, too.  I told her… I told her I’m done.”  He looked Dean in the eye.  “Look, Dean, I am so… so sorry.  When you went to Hell, I… I got on a bad path.  I never should’ve trusted Ruby.  And I see now… if I was this hesitant to tell you, it was never a good idea in the first place.”

     Dean stopped in his tracks.  “Sammy, I don’t want to lose you.  Not to something like this.  How could you do this?”

     Sam attempted to look as guilty as possible, which wasn’t hard… he did feel guilty, lying to his brother like this.  “Look, it’s like I said.  I just… I didn’t do well when you were gone, okay?  And Ruby was there, and she helped me, and she saved me, and I just thought…”

     Dean narrowed his eyes, and Sam was sure for a second that Dean hadn’t bought it.  Then he said, “Sammy, that’s what they do, though, man!  Demons… no offense, Ember… you just can’t trust them.”

     “None taken,” Ember grumbled, staring at Sam with narrowed eyes.

     “Just promise me it’s over, okay?” Dean said to his brother.

     “Yeah, I promise,” Sam said.  “I mean, it’ll take awhile for the blood to leave my system, but… I promise, I’m done.”

     But Sam could tell from Ember’s narrowed eyes that at least one person hadn’t believed his lie.  He supposed he would just have to be more careful.  Fortunately, Ruby had given him a flask full of her blood so that he could make it last.

***Sam POV***

May 7, Not Sure When

ONE MONTH LATER

     Detoxing from demon blood was the worst experience he’d ever had.  He had kept up the charade that he had quit the blood until the last day of April, when Ember caught him calling Ruby and begging her for more blood.  The flask was gone, and he had lost almost all of his “mojo”, as Dean called it.

     “You’re an addict, Sam,” she said, appearing out of nowhere in the gas station he’d chosen to dip into briefly to make his phone call.

     “Jesus, Ember!  You can’t do that to me!” he shouted, alarmed at her sudden visibility.

     “I knew it!” she said.  “I knew you were still doing it!”

     Sam knew the jig was up.  “Okay, okay, fine,” he said.  “But I’m taking much less, okay?  I have it under control.”

     Ember narrowed her eyes.  “I don’t care,” she said.  “When this case is over, I’m telling Dean.  AGAIN.”

     But, as it turned out, she hadn’t had to tell Dean.  Dean had witnessed Sam drinking demon blood himself.  Sam had had no choice – he was out of demon blood, and was losing his powers.  The group had been confronted by four demons, and Ember was holding two of them, and one of the other ones was in a body that just happened to be Castiel’s vessel’s wife.  (It was a long story.)  Sam had hoped for one wild moment that if he showed Dean that he could save people, that he could kill the demons without harming the host, that Dean would understand why he drank the blood.

     Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way.  Instead, he had been trapped in Bobby’s panic room to “detox” for the past five days.

     A lot of it had been a blur.  He definitely remembered hallucinating Alastair torturing him.  He had also hallucinated himself as a boy, and his mother.  He knew that all three of those were hallucinations, because all three of them were dead.

     The next time Sam woke up, Ember was towering over his bed, and he was in handcuffs.  “Why am I in handcuffs?” he asked her.

     “Why not?” she said, smirking at him.

     “Are you a hallucination?” Sam asked her.

     She was wearing a short skirt and a low-cut top, which was odd in itself.  He was fairly certain that he’d seen her in both items, but certainly not together.

     “Do you want me to be a hallucination?” she said.  Her eyes were boring into his, and they were dark, almost like a predator’s.  “I am your brothers’ girlfriend, after all.”

     “But maybe you don’t want me to be your brother’s girlfriend,” she said, licking her lips seductively and moving closer to him.  “Maybe you just want a quick fuck.”  As she said this, she climbed on top of him and lowered herself down.  Sam attempted to move, attempted to wiggle away, anything.  He didn’t like Ember like that – she was attractive, sure, but the most attractive thing about her was the demon blood.  They were friends, and only friends, and she was his brother’s girl.

     But apparently that didn’t stop her from palming him through his jeans, he realized with horror.  She was face to face with him now.  “After all,” she whispered, and she caught his lower lip between hers, just for a second.  “It’s only a matter of time before you can’t control yourself around me anymore.  I mean, I’m a demon, you’re a demon… “

     Sam closed his eyes, fighting with everything he could to move away from her, and suddenly she disappeared.  Dean was standing in her place.  Sam let out a sigh of relief, realizing that she, too, had been a hallucination.  Was Dean here to let him out?  Was it over?

     Apparently not.  “Monster, Sam, you’re a monster.  I tried so hard to pretend that we were brothers, that you weren’t one of the filthy things that we hunt.  But we’re not even the same species.  You’re nothing to me.”

     But then Dean, too, disappeared.  And suddenly, Sam realized, the door to the panic room was open.

***Ember POV***

May 13, Night

     Someone had let Sam out of the panic room.  Dean was sure it was Ruby, but Ember wasn’t so sure.  She thought perhaps it was Lilith – perhaps she was strong enough to get past the salted walls.  Ember also considered that it might have been the angels.  Though she couldn’t think of a motive, she definitely didn’t trust them.

     Either way, the boys had never been farther apart.  Ember wished that she had told Dean about the demon blood earlier, though admittedly it might not have changed anything.  She kept this wish to herself, as Dean was far too busy being broody and angry about Sam to be angry at her for not discussing the matter earlier.

     Ember had been unconscious for most of the final brawl between the two boys.  She and Dean had confronted Sam and Ruby in the honeymoon suite of the hotel Dean had tracked him to.  Sam had been attempting to protect Ruby, and in the process had sent Ember flying across the room, where she’d hit her head on a lamp and blacked out.  To his credit, she’d seen the look on his face as he watched her fly across the room – surprise, mostly, at his own strength.  He must’ve just had the demon blood, then.

     Regardless, when Ember woke up again, Sam was gone, and Dean was staggering around in pain, covered in broken glass, and broody and silent.  Since then, she’d tried to call Sam’s phone more than a dozen times (all 4 of them), but he never picked up.  Ember had even tried to call from an unknown number and a separate burner phone, but he still didn’t pick up. 

     Dean, in contrast, refused to call Sam, which agitated Ember and Bobby to no end.  “He’s your brother,” Ember pleaded with Dean.  “He could be dying.  You do realize, right, that he’s going to go dark side if we don’t do something.  Are you going to let that be on your conscience?”

     “No, damn it!” Dean said to Ember and Bobby.  “No.  We gotta face the facts.  Sam never wanted to be part of this family.  He hated this life growing up – ran away to Stanford first chance he got.  Now it’s like de ja vu all over again.  I am sick and tired of chasing him.  Screw him, he can do what he wants.  I’m not even sure if he’s still my brother anymore.  If he ever was.”

     Fortunately, Bobby was the voice of reason.  “You stupid, stupid son of a bitch!” Bobby cried, throwing the paperwork off his desk in his anger.  “Well boohoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess!  Are you under the impression that family’s supposed to make you feel good?  Bake you an apple pie, maybe?  They’re supposed to make you miserable!  That’s why they’re family!”

     “Gee, thanks, Bobby,” Ember said sarcastically.

     “Not you!” snapped Bobby. 

     “I told him, ‘You walk out that door, don’t come back,’” said Dean, “And he walked out anyway!  That was his choice!”

     “You sound like a whiny brat!” exclaimed Bobby.  “No.  You sound like your Dad.  Well let me tell you something – your Dad was a coward.”

     Ember heard her own intake of breath.  Dean stopped short, and turned around slowly.  “My Dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?”

     “He’d rather push Sam away than reach out to him,” Bobby clarified emphatically.  “That don’t strike me as brave.  You’re a better man than your Daddy ever was.  So you do both of us a favor – don’t be him.”

     Ember saw it in Dean’s eyes – the shred of doubt, the guilty look that meant that Dean Winchester knew he had spoken out of line and was ready to call his brother.  But before he could, however, Dean disappeared.

     “What the hell was that!” screamed Ember.

     Bobby had screamed, “Balls!” at the same time.

     “What happened?” Ember asked Bobby.

     “Damn angels,” said Bobby.  “Nothing else has the power to do that.”

     “Yeah, that was gonna be my guess,” grumbled Ember.

     “Balls!” Bobby said again, and took a fire poker from the fire place and beat it against the wall for dramatic effect.  “Well, now you get to accompany me for what I do on my free days,” Bobby said, beginning to pick up all the things that he had shoved off his desk earlier.

     “What’s that?” Ember asked him.

     “Worry about those two damn idgits!”

     But Ember’s world had gone black.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, her head exploded with pain.  She buckled to her knees, and she felt Bobby catch her before she hit the hard floor, and then she couldn’t feel even Bobby anymore.

     She was overlooking a convent which was covered in blood.  A blond girl whom Ember recognized as Lilith was sitting haphazardly in front of an alter, facing Sam.  “You turned yourself into a freak.  A monster.  And now you’re not gonna bite?  I’m sorry, but that is honestly adorable.”  Sam was in front of her, looking livid.  Suddenly, he raised his hand, and smited Lilith with everything he had.  Ember watched in horror as his eyes turned black, and as Lilith keeled over, dead in front of the alter.

     But something was wrong.  And as Ember continued to watch through her strange premonition, she realized what it was.  “You opened the door,” said Ruby, who was standing with Sam.  “And now he’s free at last.  He’s free at last!  And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal.”

     God, she had been so stupid!  She had read that, way back when, somewhere.  Lilith was the first demon?  She should have known.  It all made sense… But there was still time!  There was still time to tell Sam and Dean.  There had to be still time… and then everything went black.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

May 14, Very early morning

     Ember woke up to the sharp smell of smelling salts. 

     It wasn’t a gentle wake-up.  “Balls, it’s been near to twenty minutes!” Bobby exclaimed.  “I thought I’d lost you.  What happened?”

     Ember grabbed his arm.  “Sam and Dean.  Have they called?  Can you reach them?”

     “I’ve been trying,” Bobby said, not missing a beat.

     “Keep trying!” Ember exclaimed.

     “What happened?” Bobby said sharply, and Ember told him.

     “Balls!” he exclaimed when she was done.  “Where was this?”

     “No idea!” Ember exclaimed.  “God, it just looked like a convent!  I don’t know, there was an alter…”

     But Bobby was already on the computer, researching convents.

     It was barely two hours later, however, when Ember’s phone finally rang.  “It’s Dean!” she screamed, nearly leaping out of her chair.

     “Hey,” Dean said on the other end of the line.

     “What happened?” Ember said on the other end of the line.  “Dean, I had a premonition, and you should know, the last seal can’t be destroyed by Lilith, it is Lilith!  The last seal is that-…”

     “We already know,” said Dean.  “It’s already happened.”

     “WHAT?” said both Ember and Bobby, who was listening by way of speakerphone.

     “Wait, you had a premonition?  Are you sure?”

     Ember described what had happened in the premonition.

     “Well, that’s exactly what happened,” said Dean.  “I guess it’s because-…”

     “Lucifer has risen, yeah,” Ember said, “That’s what I was thinking.  Dean, how did you get away?  It sounds like you’re driving.  Are you safe?”

     “Yeah,” said Dean, and he explained what had happened after the last seal had been broken, including waking up on the plane.  “We jacked a car near Ilchester.”

     “We’re on our way,” Ember told him.

     “We’re going to Indiana to see Chuck,” Dean said.  “Cas took me to see Chuck so that we could find the convent where Sam was going to be with Lilith… but by the time Castiel zapped me over to the convent, there was a really angry archangel on his tail.  Can you meet us there?”

    “Sure thing,” Ember said.

     It was late evening by the time Bobby and Ember arrived in Indiana, however.  They were just outside the town of Bloomington when four demons accosted them, stopping them in the middle of the road.

     Ember glared at them, determined.  “I can take three,” Ember said confidently.  “Can you hold off the other until I finish the exorcism?”

     “Are you sure-…”

     “Yeah, I think so, but you’ll have to fight one for a good 30 seconds.  Which one do you want?”

     “I’ll take the girl,” Bobby said.

     Ember froze three of the demons with her force powers, and began the exorcism.  “Exorcizamus te-…”

     “For Lucifer’s sake,” the woman said, dodging Bobby’s blows.  “If you’re going to exorcise them, just do it.  You don’t need the damn exorcism, not now that Lucifer’s free.”

     Ember paid the demon no mind.  “Omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis-…”

     “Fine, whatever, don’t believe me,” the demon woman said, and before Ember could continue with the exorcism, she watched, as if in slow motion, as she slid her knife into Bobby’s lower back when he took a turn too slow.

     Bobby crumpled, and rage enveloped Ember.  She wasn’t sure what happened after that, but suddenly the three demons she was holding were gone – not exorcised, Ember knew, but killed, somehow, by her.  All three hosts gave Ember frightened looks and ran for their lives.

     “There you go,” the demon woman said, shooting Ember a wide smile.  As Ember turned toward her, however, a cloud of black smoke erupted from the woman’s mouth, and the demon was gone.

     “Damn it!” said Ember.  “Bobby?”  But Bobby was curled on the ground, bleeding profusely.

***Dean POV***

May 14, Afternoon

     Dean would never have admitted it, but he was swirling with emotions.  He was worried about Bobby.  Bobby had been very lucky, and survived the stabbing, but at a great price; the doctors said he would never walk again, at least not properly.  Bobby didn’t talk to anyone for days, and when he did speak, he was grumpy and mean.

     Then there was Castiel, who had apparently been killed by Raphael the archangel, but brought back from the dead, presumably by God.  He was happy his friend was back, particularly in light of the fact that Castiel had protected Dean at great cost to his own life, but God remained a mystery to everyone.

     Meanwhile, Dean couldn’t have been more proud of his girlfriend.  He even wondered, for a very small second, if maybe he loved her.  He could tell that she blamed herself, at least partially, for Bobby’s stabbing, though both he and Sam had reminded her that Bobby likely wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for her.  She had done everything Dean had taught her when it came to first aid, and even so Bobby had barely survived.  Still, she was obviously shaken.  She had handled nearly as much as he had the previous night – a premonition, the killing of three demons, and Bobby’s stabbing – and had come out of it with at least a partial win, rather than (for example) allowing Lucifer to roam the Earth freely, as he had. 

     Speaking of which, Dean was also incredibly upset with his brother.  Upset didn’t even begin to describe it.  Something had broken between them, something big, and eventually he would have to deal with it.

     Most of all, however, he was worried – about Lucifer, and about the news that he had been brought back from Hell to be Michael’s vessel in the apocalypse.

     “That’s bullshit,” Ember said.  “Don’t you ever agree to that, I don’t care what they bribe you with.”

     Dean fully agreed.  “Screw the angels, and the demons, and their crap apocalypse.  They want to fight a war, they can find their own planet!  This one’s ours, and I say they get the hell off it!  We take ‘em all on, we kill the devil, hell, we even kill Michael if we have to!  But we do it our own damn selves!”

     But when Dean headed outside with Sam, he admitted the truth.  Ember had stayed inside with Bobby.  For the moment, there was no longer anyone around that he felt he needed to be strong to protect.  “I can’t keep pretending that everything’s alright, because it’s not,” he told Sam.  “And it’s never going to be.  You chose a demon over your own damn brother.  Despite Ember!  And look what happened!  You were the one that I depended on the most!  And you let me down in ways that I can’t even…”  Dean sighed.  “I just don’t think that we can ever be what we were… you know?  I just don’t think I can trust you.”

***Castiel POV***

May 14, Night

     Castiel appeared in the hospital where Bobby was being treated.  Bobby was asleep, and he had no visitors that Castiel could see at first glance.  He could sense that Ember was in the room, however.  Sure enough, when he looked closer, he was able to see her thin outline.  She was more powerful, then, with Lucifer out of the cage now.  Castiel wondered if she was aware of just how much her power had grown since Lucifer’s release.

    A second after Castiel’s entrance, Ember showed herself.  “Hey, Cas?” she said.

    Castiel hadn’t seen Ember in almost two weeks, since he had just come back from being tortured in Heaven and refused to tell the brothers what he had learned.  He hadn’t actually spoken to Ember since that day in the hospital, so long ago, before he had realized that Uriel had betrayed them.  It was only two months ago, but it felt like two hundred years.  Was Ember still mad at him, as she had been then?  “I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today.”

     Castiel allowed himself to feel again the sensation that he often felt when she was around, only now it seemed to be stronger.  It overwhelmed him for a second – he was so drawn to her for a moment that he took a subconscious step toward her before he shook himself out of it.  “You don’t have anything mean to say this time,” he observed.

     “Dean told me how much you’ve helped,” she confessed.  “Thank you.”

     Castiel nodded, a wave of relief washing through him that he didn’t understand.  He had helped a lot, though it had been too little and too late, in the end…  Still, Castiel felt more excited than he probably should have that Ember had forgiven him for past transgressions.

     Castiel forced himself to focus on business.  “I was hoping you would be here,” he said.  “Night shift, again?”

     “Yes,” she said.  “Why are you here?”

     “I have already given Dean and Sam protection from the angels,” Castiel said, “But it has occurred to me that you will need it as well.”

     “Protection?” she asked.

     “Your hex bags will not work for long,” Castiel said.  “Lucifer will be too strong.  With Sam and Dean, I carved old Enochian sigils on their ribs.  But with you being half demon, yours will be more painful.  If you do not allow this, however, you will not be able to travel with them as you will give away their location.”

     Ember sighed.  “On my ribs?”

     “Yes.”

     “Okay, then, go ahead.”

     Castiel was surprised.  “You would trust this?”

     “I trust Dean,” Ember said.

     “This will be painful,” Castiel said.  He moved closer to her.  He didn’t trust himself to touch her, but he realized that he had to.  What was this feeling he felt when he was around her?  And why was the thought of her trusting Dean suddenly making him so angry?  Castiel splayed his hand across her ribs and created the sigils meant to protect her from Lucifer.  She cried out, and Castiel had to hold himself back from holding her to make sure she was okay.  The urge to reach out to her surprised him, and he yanked his hand backward as if her touch had burned him.

     Slowly, she gritted her teeth and gave him a huge smile.  “Thanks, Cas.”

     “No problem,” he said, and left before he had more time to think about how she made him feel.

***Ember POV***    

May 17, Late Evening

     Ember had a lot to worry about.  Her worries were as follows:

1. The apocalypse. This included the fact that Dean had been labeled “The Michael Sword”, and that Lucifer had risen.

2. Ember’s increase in powers, which apparently included the power of premonition, and killing demons (and whether this brought her one step closer to “going dark side”).

3. Bobby. The brothers and Ember were sticking around the hospital until Bobby was released and they felt comfortable sending him home.

4. Sam. Ember still had a lot of questions that she knew Dean hadn’t thought about.

     There wasn’t much Ember could do about Worry #1 at this point, not when she was still waiting for news.  There also wasn’t much she could do about Worry #3, aside from spend long nights at the hospital during “non-visiting hours” making sure that Bobby was safe from demons looking for information. 

     Castiel stopped in one night and managed to somewhat assuage Worry #2.  “You might want to check with some of the other angels, because I cannot tell you for certain,” Castiel said.  “But the powers you’re using, as I think Bobby has already theorized, aren’t inherently bad.”

     “Because I’m killing demons, not humans?”

     “Not entirely.  Killing demons itself is a heavenly, good act, however you do it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t bring out your darkness.  The deeds that may or may not tempt you to darkness are a bit more hazy, but to my knowledge, there are two factors that would cause you to go ‘more demon.’”  (Here, Castiel put his fingers into the air, using mock quotes.)

     “The first factor is what the powers are used for, such as if you were using your powers to kill humans or angels, or to torture,” Castiel continued.  “If you went on a killing spree of demons and killed a significant amount of hosts in the process, for example, it might tempt your dark side.  But you were killing demons to defend yourself and your friends, and sparing the hosts… I would really not worry so much about it.”

     Ember nodded, digesting this information.  “What’s the other factor?” she asked.

     “The other thing that brings out the darkness is the means by which you obtain demonic powers,” said Castiel.  “You, being half demon, have them naturally.  They are a part of you.  Sam, meanwhile, is another story.”

     Sam was Worry #4, and this was the worry that Ember found herself obsessing over.  She didn’t get to confront Sam about it, however, until a few days after Lucifer’s arrival.  It was the night before Bobby was due to be released from the hospital, and Dean was at home doing some maintenance on the Impala.  Sam was trading watch shifts with Ember, who had just awakened.  “Hey, Sam, wait,” Ember said.  “I need to talk to you about something.”

     She could see on Sam’s face that he knew exactly what she wanted to talk to him about.  His face was twisted with guilt and shame, but he allowed her to speak first.

     “Look, I don’t even know what to say about what happened,” Ember said.  “I mean, I know you well enough to know that you’re your own worst critic… and if you weren’t, I know Dean has probably given you hell for it.”  Ember knew that something had broken between Dean and Sam.  Dean had only made a couple of brief comments on the subject, but Ember understood that Dean no longer trusted Sam and was very upset about it.  She knew that, eventually, this would come to a head.  It was nearly impossible to hunt with someone you don’t trust; Dean had taught her that.

     Sam looked relieved that Ember wasn’t going to rehash how upset everyone was, but Ember continued.  “There’s one thing I can’t figure out.”

     “What’s that?” Sam asked, his relief turning to wariness.

     “I’m not stupid about demon blood like Dean is,” Ember said.  “You’d have had to drink more than what Ruby could give you to kill Lilith.” 

     Sam froze, and paled slightly.  There was a beat, and he shook his head.  “You don’t want to know,” he said softly, and walked away.

     Ember didn’t see Sam again after that for several months.  The next morning, the brothers were called out to River Pass, Colorado to deal with a town infested with demons, leaving Ember behind to watch over Bobby.  After their experience in River Pass, Dean and Sam decided to separate for awhile.  When Dean came back to Sioux Falls to pick Ember up to go hunting again, he came alone.

     And that was fine with Ember.            

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

July

     It had been two months since Ember and Dean had said goodbye to Sam, and Ember was ashamed to admit that it had been two of the best months she’d had in a long time.  Ember wasn’t naturally violent (at least, her human side wasn’t), but she had turned out to be a better hunter than she thought she would be with the help of her new powers.

     It helped that she and Dean hadn’t tackled anything incredibly difficult since Dean had fought War, the Horseman, back in May.  They had done a lot of vampire slaying, and killed a few werewolves here and there, as well as two ghouls and a rugaru. 

     Ember’s main role, a role which she was ashamed to admit that she liked better than she’d thought she would, was thievery.  She never stole from individual people, or even private businesses, but she made a habit of opening ATM machines at 3:00 in the morning, while invisible.  Still, she only took what they needed to get by, particularly after her conversation with Castiel about her increase in powers.  Castiel hadn’t said for sure whether her specific brand of thievery was frowned upon by Heaven, and she was too scared to ask him.  Still, she and Dean had to get by somehow, and neither of them could deny that she was an excellent thief for obvious reasons.

     When they weren’t on a case, Ember and Dean found plenty to do.  They visited Bobby a couple of times, and went to Indiana to visit friends of Ember’s a couple of times as well.  They got up early to see sunrises, and they even went to a beach.  Ember could tell that Dean was trying to be romantic in his own way, by suggesting the beach and the sunrises.  She was happy that he tried, because she knew that he loved her.  He never said so, but she knew anyway.  Usually, though, Ember and Dean enjoyed a bacon cheeseburger and copious amounts of sex, and that was good, too. 

     If she was honest with herself, Ember would’ve preferred hard work and therapy and a set schedule, but perhaps that was simply because it was what she had always known.  This sense of freedom she had hunting with Dean was a nice change, however, and it was necessary, considering the apocalypse.  She liked to think that it wouldn’t last forever, like an extended vacation, and she was determined to enjoy it while she had it.

     Most of all, Ember felt safe, for the first time in years.  Neither of them had seen a demon since Lucifer had risen.  They both had a bad feeling that it had to do with whatever Lucifer’s plans for Ember happened to be, and they also knew that it wouldn’t last.  Between Ember’s power and Dean’s hunting skills, however, she was confident that they could handle whatever was thrown at them, short of Lucifer himself.  And, overall, Ember was happy.

     Still, she could see that, though Dean put on a good show, he missed Sam desperately.  From time to time, she would catch a faraway look in his eye, and she thought he might be thinking of Sam.  When he would tell stories about hunting, Sam was suspiciously absent from all of them, and Ember thought he must be going to great lengths to leave Sam out of stories where he must have played a significant part.  Ember was patient, however, and she understood that Dean couldn’t be rushed into healing from this, or even discussing it.  She also knew he couldn’t avoid it forever.

***Castiel POV***

July 24, Evening

     Castiel was preparing for death.  He had searched high and low for the God that had brought him back from the dead, but to no avail.  In a last-ditch effort, he had asked for Dean’s help to search for the archangel Raphael, who had been the one to kill him.

     “Do we have any chance of surviving this?” Dean asked.

     “You do,” said Castiel.  He was confident of that.  Dean would survive it because he was Michael’s vessel, and Ember would survive it because the angels would be at least somewhat hesitant to piss Dean off as much as killing Ember would require.  Michael himself had given the order to leave Ember alive, and the order hadn’t changed, at least not to Castiel’s knowledge.  No, Raphael would be sure to go after Castiel.    

     “So odds are you're a dead man tomorrow,” said Dean.

     Ember asked, “Cas, are you sure you want to do this?”

     Castiel answered both questions:  “Yes.”

     Ember and Dean gave each other a significant look.

     “Well. Last night on earth.  What are your plans?” Dean asked.

     Castiel hadn’t thought about that.  “Well, I just thought I’d sit here quietly,” he said honestly.

     Ember and Dean exchanged another significant look.  Castiel began to feel that he was missing something.  “Dude, c’mon.  Anything?” Dean asked.  “Booze?  Women?”

     Castiel had considered the prospect; not on this particular night, but in general.  But it was not something a respectable angel did.

     Of course, he wasn’t exactly a “respectable angel” anymore, either.  Now, he was a rebel.  Granted, with Dean staring down at him like he had grown a third ear, he didn’t feel much like a rebel.

     “You have been with a woman before, right?” Dean asked.  “Or an angel at least?”  Castiel didn’t answer.  “You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding?”

     “Look, I’ve never had occasion, okay?” Castiel said awkwardly.  Such things did not become angels.

     Ember laughed.  “Look, I know angels are all pious, and it’s different than humans, but… you’ve never even thought about it?”

     Suddenly, a picture came into his mind, unbidden, of himself and Ember in a very, very intimate position.  What the hell?

     “”All right,” said Dean determinedly.  “Let me tell you something, there are two things that I know for certain.  One, Bert and Ernie are gay.  Two, you are not gonna die a virgin.  Not on my watch.  Let’s go.”

     Ember was laughing.  “Be careful, okay?” she said, kissing Dean good-bye.  “Don’t sleep with any skanks.”

     “What about respectable women?” Dean asked teasingly.

     Ember looked at Castiel and grinned.  “Leave them for Castiel,” she said, kissing him again.

     And Dean ushered Castiel into the car. 

     It was an awful night.  “What did you do?” asked Dean in alarm after the stripper he had chosen for Castiel ran away screaming and calling him a jerk.

     “I don’t know,” Castiel confessed, his mind elsewhere.  “I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off.  It was because he hated his job at the post office.”

     Dean had begun to laugh.  Castiel was glad Dean didn’t know the real reason he seemed inattentive, however.  How could he be attracted to a half-demon?  How could he be attracted to Dean’s girlfriend?  He had never been attracted to anybody, in the thousands of years of his existence!  Because that’s what it was, he realized.  It had hit him like a ton of bricks, in there with Chaste, or Chastity, or whatever her stupid name was, and for the life of him he didn’t understand it.

     How could he have feelings for Ember?

***Dean POV***

September 17, Dusk

TWO MONTHS LATER

      It had been four months since Dean and Sam had parted ways.  To anyone who asked, Dean would say that he’d never been happier.  His Impala was in good shape, and for the first time in his life, he had a reliable woman beside him.  He’d always considered himself to be a free agent, but secretly he’d also wished for a woman who could keep up with him, who would be strong-willed enough to tie him down without being overbearing enough to feel like a ball and chain.  This had only intensified since he had reunited with Lisa, and even more so since his time in Hell. 

     Ember was that woman, he knew it.  If he had thought about it, and if he believed in such things, he would have been certain that she was “the one.”  He didn’t believe in such things, however, and he tried not to think about it, and that seemed to be fine with Ember – she never pushed him for a further commitment, for which he was thankful.  Agreeing to a relationship had been easy when he’d finally come to terms with it, but at this point their lives were far too turbulent to make a more permanent commitment.  He had a feeling Ember felt this way as well, because he wasn’t the only one that avoided long-term-related conversations. 

     The few long-term conversations they did have always began with “if we survive the Apocalypse.”  “If we survive the Apocalypse,” Ember said once, “I’m going back to doing therapy and hunting on the side.”

     “If we survive the Apocalypse,” Dean replied, “We’re going to have a threesome.”

     Ember laughed.  “No.  No, we’re not.  You might.  But it won’t be with me.”

     Dean pretended to think it over.  “Well, never mind then.”

     Truthfully, Dean had always thought that a long-term relationship would be stifling, but in actuality he found it anything but.  Dean had difficulty believing that he had ever survived having sex only once every couple of months, when he got lucky while hunting.  Sex with Ember was better than anything he ever could have dreamed.  She could do really incredible things with her tongue (both visible and not), and she had the strength to withstand rough sex if they chose.  She was also adventurous enough to do it in a number of random places – in a field, against a tree, and, of course, in the back seat of the Impala.  Dean thought, often, that he was glad that Sam wasn’t around, because his lifestyle currently involved an awful lot of sex.  Still, he was also forced to acknowledge that even sex was slightly more fun when you had someone to brag to about it (especially someone who wasn’t getting laid whose face he could rub it in).

     Sometime after his experience with Castiel and Raphael, Dean finally began discussing Sam again.  Dean was ashamed to admit that once he finally broached the subject, it seemed to come up all the time.  They discussed their mutual distrust of Sam, their worry about him, their disappointment in him, and their concern over what he was doing now.

     Dean didn’t hear from Sam, however, until he called late one night in early September.  Sam explained over the phone that Lucifer had come to him in a dream and attempted to convince him to be his vessel.  It didn’t change anything though, Dean had told Sam sadly.  “We’re the fire and the oil of the Armageddon.  On that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere… stay away from each other for good.”

     “What the hell were you playing at?” Ember asked him the next morning, after he told her about his conversation.

     Dean was surprised at her reaction.  “What do you mean what am I playing at?” he snapped back to her.  “You were the one that told me he drained a girl, and that you didn’t trust him to hunt.”

     “Yeah, I don’t trust him to hunt,” Ember said, “but I trust him even less to hunt without us.  I mean, it was one thing when he was lying low, staying out of the apocalypse, and only fighting whatever demon happened to wander into him at the time,” Ember said.  “But now he’s supposed to be Lucifer’s vessel?  How long is he going to stay hidden, Dean?  If there was ever a time he needs you, it’s now.  Besides,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Bobby’s seen him a couple of times over the summer, and he says he’s stayed off the blood.”

     “You think?” Dean said, slightly hopeful despite himself.

     Ember sighed.  “Sam’s headstrong, and angry, and an idiot.  But he knows now what the demon blood did to him, and he’s not going to make the same mistake again.  Dean… the three of us are stronger together.  And I’ll be honest… you haven’t been the same since Sam left.”

     Dean knew it was true, but he refused to acknowledge it.

     The final straw, however, was when the angel Zachariah, apparently in an effort to convince Dean to be Michael’s vessel, transported Dean five years into the future.  In Zachariah’s future, Dean had refused to be Michael’s vessel, but Sam had agreed to be Lucifer’s vessel.  Dean was alone in that world, aside from a smattering of followers to which he apparently had no real loyalty.  Bobby was long gone, and so was Ember, according to the few people who had ever heard of her. 

     Apparently the angels thought that showing him this possible future would convince him to be Michael’s vessel, but clearly they didn’t understand how determined Dean was on the subject.  He didn’t expect to survive this apocalypse.  He did have some control over his life up until he was killed, however, and he was determined that he wouldn’t spend his last days on Earth as a damn angel condom.  Dean’s glimpse of a possible future did change his mind about one thing, however:  he’d be damned if he let his brother be an angel condom, either.

     “We keep each other human,” Dean said to Sam the next day.  He looked at Ember, who was back in the Impala, on the phone with her mother.  “All of us keep each other human.”

     “How does Ember feel about this?” Sam asked.

     Dean sighed.  “She was the one who first told me to bring you back, even before I wanted to,” Dean admitted, “before I decided it for myself in the end.”

     Sam sighed.  “I have a lot to apologize to her for.  A lot of kissing up to do.”  He shoved his hands in his pockets.  “Thank you.  Really, thank you.  I won’t let you down.”

     “Oh, I know it,” Dean said.  “I mean, you are the second best hunter on the planet.”

     “So, what do we do now?” Sam asked. 

     “We make our own future,” Dean said, with determination.

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

October

     If Dean was honest with himself (which he usually wasn’t), he would have admitted that the past month or so had been quite possibly the best month of his life.  He was doing, on a constant basis, the two things he liked best – having sex, and hunting things with his brother.  His relationship with Ember had never been stronger, and fortunately Sam still felt guilty enough about the whole Lucifer debacle that he wasn’t as much of a cock-block as he might have been.  And, just as good, Sam was back in his life, filling a hole that Dean hadn’t been willing to admit to himself was there.  With the two of them by his side, for the first time in his life, Dean felt unstoppable.

***Ember POV***

October 15, Day

     Near the middle of October, Ember and the brothers ended up in Alliance, Nebraska, to investigate a woman who had literally scratched her skin off with itching powder.  Other similar murders occurred shortly after the three had arrived; a man was electrocuted by a joy buzzer, and two kids ended up in the hospital from mixing pop rocks and coke.  Even more odd, a local man’s face had gotten stuck in the same position while he was making a funny face, and another local man whose teeth had been pulled out claimed that he had seen the tooth fairy.  Dean even ended up with a hairy palm from masturbating.  (“We had sex last night,” Ember reminded him, rolling her eyes.  “Next time you can go out and squirm into a bank vault for an hour, and I’ll sit in the hotel room and eat ham and masturbate!”)

     Ultimately, Dean realized that all of the events were “all lies that kids believe.”

     “So whatever’s doing this is reshaping reality,” Sam added.  “It has the powers of a god... or, of a trickster.”

     “Yeah, with the sense of humor of a nine-year-old,” Dean added.

     “Or you,” added Sam.

     Their search ultimately brought them to a farm house in the middle of what Dean and Sam called the “splash zone of weirdness.”  The boy living in the farm house, Jesse, was definitely the source of all the odd things happening in town, the brothers concluded almost immediately.

     “What do you know about itching powder, Jesse?” Dean asked.

     “That stuff will make you scratch your brains out,” he responded immediately.

     “Pop rocks and coke?” Dean asked.

     “You mix them, and you’ll end up in the hospital.  Everyone knows that.”

     “What if you make a really funny face and hold it that way for a long time?” Ember asked.

     “It’ll stick that way,” said Jesse immediately.

     Dean pulled out the joy buzzer.  “You shouldn’t have that,” Jesse said immediately.

     “Why not?” Dean asked.

     “It can electrocute you!” Jesse said.

     Dean turned it over in his hand.  “Actually, it can’t,” he said.  “It’s just a wind-up toy.  It’s totally harmless.  Doesn’t even have batteries.”

     “So it can’t shock you?” Jesse asked.

     “Nope.  Not at all.  I swear.”

     “Oh,” Jesse said, looking disappointed.  “Okay.”

     “I mean, all it does is just shake in your hand,” Dean continued.  “It’s kinda lame.  See?”  And he held it up against Sam.

     Ember knew she probably shouldn’t have found this funny considering the joy buzzer had killed a man and then electrocuted a ham a few hours earlier, but perhaps this life was affecting her sense of judgment.  She stifled her laughter at the look on Sam’s face as he got a very small shock.

     “What’d you say your name was again?” Dean asked.

     “It’s Jesse,” said the boy.  “Can I ask you a question?”

     “Sure,” Ember said, because Jesse was looking at her.

     “You sure smell nice.  Are you wearing perfume?”

     Ember froze, and she could see that Dean and Sam had as well.  Both of them looked to her, questioning their next move.  Ember shrugged.  “Well, Jesse, I guess that’s all we have to ask you today.  We might be back…. um, later.  Is there a number we could call you at?”

     “Yeah, sure,” Jesse said, and wrote down his number.

     As soon as they were out the door, Sam and Dean both turned to Ember.

     “You sure smell nice?  What the hell?” Sam asked.

     “Is he a demon?” Dean asked.

     “No,” Ember said, alarmed.

     “Are you sure?” Sam asked.

     “Uh, yeah,” Ember said.  “I mean, I’ve never met a demon that could hide being a demon, not from me.  Do you think... maybe he was just a kid being nice?”  She knew as she said it that even she didn’t believe that.

     “There’s no such thing as a coincidence,” Dean said.

     Apparently it was time for some research.

 ***Ember POV***

October 15, Afternoon

     Ember couldn’t believe it.  In all of her life, through all of the books she’d read, and online searching, and even hunting, she had never met another half-demon.

     Sam had unearthed that Jesse had been adopted.  When they had gone to visit Jesse’s mother, Julia, she had revealed that a demon had possessed her for 9 months, until she had had the child.  After she had had the child, she had managed to take control and exorcise the demon, after which she had put Jesse up for adoption.

     A million thoughts swirled in Ember’s head on the way to the motel, but she was interrupted by Sam.  “Why didn’t you tell the mother?  About you?”

     Ember laughed.  “The less anyone knows about me the better, Sam,” Ember said.  “And you have to understand, that woman hates demons.  She wouldn’t think of it as a shared experience… no, she’d just be terrified of me.  She’s had enough scares for one lifetime,” Ember said. 

     “You’re probably right,” Sam said.  “Hey, Ember, can I ask you a question?”

     “Shoot,” Ember said, already guessing what the question was going to be.

     “Bobby’s your father, right?  But that woman… she was a virgin when she got pregnant with the demon’s child.”

     Ember sighed.  “Yeah, I figured that’s what you were going to ask.  The answer is, I didn’t know that was possible.  Maybe… maybe we should call Cas.  He’ll know more about these things.  I probably should’ve done that a long time ago.  I’ve never really asked him about me.  It’s probably past time, to be honest.”

***Castiel POV***

October 15, Evening

     Castiel rarely missed calls, but when Dean called he was flying as fast as he could away from three angels, each only slightly less powerful than himself.  It was another three hours before he managed to shake them long enough to address the red light on the primitive electronic device he had managed to buy a few weeks before.

     “Cas, hey,” said Dean’s voice.  “We might need you.  There’s a young boy here causing some trouble… a few people have died already.  His mother was possessed, got pregnant, some kind of weird-ass immaculate conception.  She put the boy up for adoption, and now he’s making weird things happen.  Alliance, Nebraska, in the Motel 6.  Room 114.”

     Castiel flew immediately the Motel 6 in Alliance, Nebraska, but the hotel room was vacant.  He could see items that he recognized as belonging to the Winchesters, however – a duffel bag that he knew to be Sam’s, and Ember’s computer.  He would wait for their return, then.  In the mean time, he reached out with his powers, scanning the surrounding town.

     Castiel was a fairly powerful angel, probably one of the most powerful currently walking the Earth, though not by any means one of Heaven’s finest.  His vast experience with the humans and other Earth beings allowed him to reach out with his mind and find other creatures, to be able to identify each individual being, better than most other angels.  He could feel even from here, for example, the small pull of Ember’s demonic power.  It was stronger than his own power, he knew, and with its strength its pull on Castiel intensified.  This pull was currently mostly concealed by the hex bags she carried and the Enochian markings on her ribs.  Castiel could still sense it, however, because he knew exactly what he was looking for.  He couldn’t feel any other half-demons, however.

     Castiel dug deeper, reaching into the depths of his power and doing a more thorough search for demonic energy of any sort.  There were two or three demons hanging around, but they were low-level, and he couldn’t pinpoint their exact locations – they must be miles away.  And there was something else…

     It was a feeling he had never felt before.  It felt like warding… natural warding given off by a creature, covering up some sort of demonic energy.  It was so subtle that Castiel never would have sensed it if he hadn’t known exactly what he was looking for due to his time around Ember.  Now that he did sense it, however, he focused upon it, and was shocked that he hadn’t found it before.

     This half-demon was different from Ember, Castiel could tell.  It was a half-demon, Castiel could sense that much; at the base, it was the same powerful demonic energy that Castiel associated with a half-demon being.  Ember’s power acted like a beacon to other angels and demons, though currently it was shielded by the hex bags and the Enochian warding.  This being’s power was the inverse of hers, Castiel could tell – it was a natural shield.  Even if Castiel had wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint this being’s exact location.

     Suddenly, Sam, Dean, and Ember entered the motel room.  “I take it you got our message,” said Sam, sitting down at the small table.

     “It’s lucky you found the boy,” Castiel said.

     “Oh, yeah, real lucky,” said Dean sarcastically.  “What do we do with him?”

     “Kill him,” said Castiel immediately.  He knew none of the three of them were going to want to go along with his plan, but there was no other alternative.

     “Cas,” Dean started, and Sam, Dean, and Ember all looked at each other dubiously.

     Castiel sat down at the table next to Sam, and was alarmed to hear a giant fart.  What was wrong with his vessel?  Horrified, Castiel shifted position, but the noises continued.  Dean watched, raising his eyebrows, and Ember had started giggling.

     “That wasn’t me,” Castiel insisted, finally pulling out a whoopee cushion.

     “Who put that there?” Dean asked, but Castiel could tell that it had been Dean’s idea of a joke.

     Castiel ignored the whoopee cushion, tossing it aside, and swallowed down his embarrassment.  “This child is half demon and half human,” Cas said, “But it’s far more powerful than either.” 

     “Cas.”  Ember said.  “Hello.”

     He really should have known this would be a difficult issue for Ember, in particular, he thought.  He supposed he could chalk this up to her human side.  “Ember, this is different,” he said.  “The angels were willing to withhold judgment on you because you were already fully grown, had never taken a human or angel life, and were already more allied with Heaven than Hell,” Castiel said.  “None of which apply to this boy.”

     “That’s not fair,” Ember raged, “He’s nine, Cas.”

     “I’ll agree it is unfortunate,” Castiel said in his deep voice.  “Perhaps if he had time for his powers to mature with puberty, like yours, instead of all at once-…”

     “Is this about Lucifer rising?” Ember asked.

     “When was the last time you tested the full extent of your powers?” asked Castiel.

     “I don’t make a habit of it,” Ember grumbled.

     “See if you can move me with your powers,” Castiel said.

     “What?” Ember asked.  “But you’re an angel!”

     “See if you can move me,” Castiel repeated.  “I’m braced.”  He could sense exactly how powerful she was, but he also suspected that she had no idea how powerful she had grown.  This was no longer allowable, if they were to take an offensive stance against Lucifer.  Still, it was a mark of the trust between them, and of their mutual trust for Dean, that Castiel took this step in proving his point to the half-demon woman.

     Ember sighed.  “Fine.  Whatever.”  And she hit Castiel with the full blast of her powers.

     In slow motion, Castiel was blasted off his feet, and hit the wall opposite, where he slid down to the floor, unhurt.

     Sam and Dean stared at Ember in horror, and Ember was shocked.  “I’m so sorry, Cas!  I didn’t mean to-…”

     Castiel ignored her, his point made.  “It is thought that these demon spawn will be one of the devil’s greatest weapons in the war against Heaven,” he said, standing up and brushing himself off.

     Dean shook his head.  “If Jesse’s a demonic Howitzer then what the hell’s he doing in Nebraska?” Dean asked.

     “The demons lost him.  They can’t find him.  But they’re looking,” Castiel answered.  He knew from his forays into Hell recently that the demons were looking for a human who was also half-demon, but until tonight he had assumed that this referred to Ember.  Perhaps not, however.

     “And they lost him because?” Dean asked.

     “Because of the child’s power,” Castiel answered, thinking of the natural warding the child was giving off.  “It hides him from both angels and demons… for now.”

     “Oh great!” Ember exploded.  “Of course, he gets powers that hide him from demons… I get powers that attract demons like a damn beacon!”

     Something clicked in Castiel’s brain.  This half-demon boys’ powers hid him from angels and demons alike.  Ember’s powers attracted angels and demons alike.  They not only attracted angels and demons in the way of leading them to Ember’s location, but also on a more supernatural pheromone level, if there was such a thing.

     Of course!  Castiel had been so stupid!  He had made the classic angel mistake that lately he had thought he had finally risen above.  He had thought himself so different from humans, and even from the demons which were humans twisted by Lucifer, that he had considered himself above the base attraction that drew salivating demons to this woman.  Even when the signs had been all around him, he had still ignored the obvious.  Other angels had not seemed to suffer similarly around Ember… but none of them would admit to being attracted to a half-demon, would they?  He certainly hadn’t.  Besides, he had been the only angel to ever enter her mind; he was confident of that, and it made him feel possessive, in a very human way. 

     Relief flooded through him.  He was not demonic after all, not suffering some ailment as a result of the Fall… 

     “It seems like you may have powers that are the reverse of his,” Castiel said finally.

     “Wait a second,” Ember said.  “Do my powers… do they attract angels, too?”

     “Yes,” said Castiel.  “And I must be honest with you, I’m extremely relieved.  Now I understand these feelings I’ve always had for you.  For a moment I was scared I was actually attracted to a demon!”

     Castiel knew immediately that he had mis-stepped, but it was too late to retract his statement.  Three things happened at once.

     Sam exploded with laughter.  Dean said, “Dude!  Haven’t you ever heard of bro code?”

     Ember said, “Fuck you, Castiel!  Fuck you and all your stupid angel friends!” and slapped him across the face.

***Ember POV***

October 15, Night

     It was several minutes after Castiel’s outburst before the group calmed down.  Ember was still hurt by Castiel’s words, and Dean kept shooting her looks as though he was afraid she might throw Castiel against a wall again.  Castiel had apologized profusely and admitted that he “could see how you interpreted that differently than the way it was meant”, and Sam had gotten Ember and Dean to calm down enough to focus on the task at hand after he’d finally stopped laughing.

     “So, he’s got, like, a force field around him?” Dean asked.  “Well, that’s great.  Problem solved.”

     “With Lucifer risen, this child grows strong,” Castiel reminded them.  “Soon he will do more than just make a few toys come to life.  Something that will draw the demons to him.  The demons will find this child.  Lucifer will twist this boy to his purpose.  And then with a word, this child will destroy the host of heaven.”

     “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  Wait,” said Dean.  “You’re saying that Jesse’s gonna nuke the angels?”

     “Why?” asked Ember.  “I’d never nuke the angels.”

     “You understand what’s at stake,” Castiel said, “That has already been determined.  The angels want you alive.  They think that if you were going to be twisted to Lucifer’s purpose, you would have done so a long time ago.  Or, at least, they think that for the time being you are doing more good than harm.  This boy is different.  He’s still in his formative years, and there have already been deaths.  We cannot allow this to happen.  The boy must die.  I am sorry, Ember.”

     And before Ember could send a blast of power his way to pin him, Castiel disappeared.

     A few minutes later, Dean, Ember, and Sam broke down the door to Jesse’s house.  “Was there a guy here?” Dean asked in a panic.  “In a trench coat?”

     But the damage was already done.  A very small action figure version of Castiel lay on the floor.  Jesse was clearly terrified – his eyes were wide, and he was shaking slightly.  “Was he your friend?” he asked.

     “Him?” Dean asked.  “No,”

     “I did that,” Jesse said.  “But how did I do that?”

     Both Dean and Sam looked at Ember.  “Jesse… what have your parents told you about your birth?”

     “They don’t talk about it much,” he said, his eyes getting wider.  “But Mommy doesn’t have any pictures of when she was pregnant like all my friends’ mommies.  Steve said maybe I was adopted.”

     “Well…. Steve was right,” Ember said gently.  “And your real father… well, he was a demon.”  Ember watched Jesse’s eyes widen as if in slow motion.

     “Finally, the truth comes out!” said a singsong voice from the doorway.  It was Jesse’s mother Julia, clearly possessed by a demon.  She sent Dean flying across the room, and Sam as well. 

     Ember quickly pinned Julia against the wall.  “You must have been very stupid to come here,” Ember told the demon.  She could sense that it was more powerful than a usual grunt… but not that powerful.  “You must have known I travel with the Winchesters.”

     “That’s why I didn’t come alone,” the demon said.  And three more demons piled in through the door.

     It was a “do or die” situation.  Ember wasn’t sure how many demons she could handle. Her power had quite clearly grown even since her fight with Bobby, if her interaction with Castiel earlier had been any indication, but she still wasn’t sure she could take on all four demons.  She felt the familiar power spring from her, however, far more powerful even than it had been earlier with Castiel.  All four humans hit the back wall, and all four demons were dead.

     “What did you do?” asked Jesse in alarm.

     “They’re okay,” Ember said.  “Look!” 

     And so they were.  A few seconds later, a couple of the men began to stir.  One by one, the three men got to their feet in Jesse’s living room, all of them in various states of shock.  It didn’t take long for them to leave.  “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m out of here,” the biggest man said, and the other two followed on his heels.    

     “What just happened?” Jesse asked in alarm.

     “Jesse… over there is your biological mother.  Her name is Julia.”

     “Is… is she okay?” Jesse asked.

     “Just passed out,” said Dean, who had gone over to feel for a pulse.  “She should be fine when she wakes up.”

     “The thing in her was a demon,” Ember said.  “You’re half demon, and half human.  And so am I..  My name is Ember Nelson.  This is my boyfriend, Dean Winchester, and his brother Sam.  We hunt monsters.  We’re sorry we couldn’t tell you sooner.”

     Jesse began to cry.  “I… I don’t understand,” he said clearly very upset.  “Why… why all of a sudden?  Why did nobody tell me before?”

     It was Sam who spoke.  “There’s a, kind of a… a war, between angels and demons.  And you’re a part of it,” Sam explained.

     Jesse looked at Ember for reassurance, but Ember bowed her head.  “You’re very powerful,” Ember said.  “Both of us are.  We’re more powerful than the demons or the angels.  I just killed four demons.  And the man you turned into an action figure… he was an angel.”

     “I’m just a kid!” Jesse said, crying.  Her heart went out to him.  She knew he was terrified.

     “I know,” Ember said.  “But the truth is that you’re lucky to have managed to stay hidden from both sides until now.  You’ll have to choose a side before this whole thing is over.”

     “And if you choose the wrong one,” Sam said, “Millions of people will die.”

     “I’m really… I’m really half demon?” Jesse asked, disbelieving.

     Ember looked at him with pity, her heart breaking for him.  She couldn’t imagine going through this at the age of 9… it was bad enough going through it at the age of 13.  Even at 13, she had barely been able to do a few party tricks… she had been nowhere near as powerful as they both were now, with Lucifer on the rise.

     “Yes,” Sam said.  “But you’re half human, too.  You can do the right thing.  You’ve got choices, Jesse.  But if you make the wrong ones, it’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.”

     “Why are you telling me this?” Jesse yelled, his voice breaking.

     “Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn’t,” Sam said.  Ember looked up and realized that Sam was staring at her.  She gave him a slow smile.  She knew how sorry he was about everything that had happened with Lucifer.  Finally, finally, she was beginning to forgive him.

***Ember POV***

October 16, Very Early Morning (Still Dark)

     “Okay, what now?” Jesse asked.

     It had been another half an hour of explanations, but Jesse finally fully trusted them and understood his situation.  Ember was beginning to get excited.  She had never known another half demon before.  She had been scared for him, and scared for the rest of the world, when she first found out about him.  Now, however, she was optimistic, relieved, and even happy.  She could teach him how to control his power.  She could make sure he was kept in check.  Maybe she could move him back to Bobby’s and they could hide there, together, until they were needed for the Apocalypse.

     Apparently Dean was thinking the same thing.  “Now we take you someplace safe,” Dean said.  “Get you trained up.  You’d be handy in a fight, kid.”

     “What if I don’t want to fight?” Jesse asked.

     “Jesse,” Ember said.  “You’re powerful.  More powerful than… than me, even, I think.  I’m not sure yet.  That makes you…”

     “A freak?” Jesse said.

     “To some people, maybe,” Sam said.  “But not to us.  See, we’re kind of freaks ourselves.”

     “I can’t stay here, can I?” Jesse asked.

     “No,” Dean said.  “The demons know where you are, and more will be coming.”

     “I won’t go without my Mom and Dad.”

     “There’s nothing more important than family,” Sam said.  “And if you really want to take them with you, we’ll back your play.  But you gotta understand…. it’s gonna be dangerous for them, too.”

     “It’ll be best for them if they don’t know anything about you, especially where you are,” Ember said.  “I’ve had to move away from everything… my mother, my home, and even my friends.  But it’s kept them all safe.”  Except for Carl, she added to herself.

     “Jesse, you’re in this fight,” Dean said, “and you’re in it until the end.  Win or lose.”

     “What should I do?” Jesse asked.

     “Come with us,” Ember said.  “We can go back to my father’s house.  His house is protected from demons and angels, and you’ll be safe there.  Dean can add some protection to your parents’ home before we leave, too.  Things they won’t notice, but will keep them safe.”

     “It’s not fair, I know,” said Sam.

     “Can I go see my parents?”  Jesse asked.  “I… I need to say good-bye.”

     Ember smiled at him.  “Sure, kiddo.”

     Twenty minutes later, however, Jesse had not come back downstairs.  Ember knew, without having to go upstairs, what he had done.  She had hoped against hope that he’d make a different decision.  But, if she was honest with herself, she’d known from the start that she’d never see him again.   

***Ember POV***

Late October

    It was nearly a week after their time with Jesse before Ember felt back to normal.  She had been so close ­– so close – to having a real relationship with someone else like her.  If she was honest with herself, she had always wanted children, though she had never considered having them, not since she found out she was half demon.  For a second, Ember had gotten a glimpse of what it may have been like to have a child, and then it had been snatched away.

     As if that wasn’t bad enough, Castiel’s lack of knowledge about the paternity of half-demons was highly frustrating.  She finally had time to ask him about her paternity issues after the incident with Jesse was over and Castiel had been restored to his former self.  “That I don’t know,” he told her.  “You really ought to ask another angel these questions.”

     “Cas, you’re the only angel I don’t want to stab through the head with an angel blade,” Ember said.

     “Well, that’s just highly unnecessary,” he responded.  He thought a second, then asked, “Don’t humans have some way of telling who the father is?”

     “Yeah, a paternity test,” said Sam.  “But Bobby would have to be involved in it, and he hasn’t been the same since he lost his legs.”  The last few times they’d spoken with Bobby, he had been increasingly surly and grumpy.

     “In that case, I’m not sure if I really even want the answer,” Ember asked.  “I mean, does it really matter?”

     Sam and Dean stared at her.  “I mean, Bobby’s been my father for… well, for years.  My Mom got back in touch with him after she found out I was half demon.  No amount of demon or non-demon is going to make him any less my father.  And maybe… maybe we just shouldn’t tell him there might be a possibility that he’s not actually my father.”

     Ember was just starting to get used to the idea of never knowing for sure whether Bobby was her father when the situation was taken out of her hands.  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me I might not be your father?!” Bobby roared over the phone to Ember.

     “What – how did you-…”

     “How did I find out?  You must’ve told your mother about Julia and Jesse, right?  Well, your mother called and asked if I could pay a visit to Julia, teach her how to protect herself, like I did you two.”

     Shit.

     “Bobby, I’m sorry!” Ember said.  “I mean, you’ve been in the hospital, you know, and-…”  She knew immediately it had been a stupid thing to say, and so she quickly backtracked.  “It doesn’t matter whether I was conceived by some damn demon or not, does it?”  Ember thought for a second that maybe Bobby would look at her differently now.

     “Of course it doesn’t matter, ya idgit!” Bobby screamed at her from the other end of the line.  “It’d just be nice to be told things once in a damn while!  Instead, everybody thinks I’m too old and sick to find out bad news!”  And Bobby hung up on her, and didn’t speak to any of the three of them for a week.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

Halloween

     The next time Ember saw Bobby, he had gambled away 25 years of his life to a 900-year-old witch.  The whole thing was a disaster, not least because witches were immune to Ember’s power, but fortunately Dean and Sam were able to straighten the whole thing out. 

     “Don’t you ever do that to me again!” Ember shouted at Bobby and Dean, who had also bet away years of his life.  “I love you two more than nearly anybody else in the world, and you go gambling years of your life away for what?  A pretty face?”

     She turned to Bobby.  “I don’t give a rats’ ass how you feel about whatever demon may or may not be my father, or about your damn legs!  You ever do that again, I’ll take away more than your damn legs!”

     Ultimately, Ember and Bobby decided not to find out whether or not he was her real father.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Ember said.  “I just didn’t want to disappoint you when it didn’t really mean that much to me anyway.  We know I have demon powers.  But you’ve always been my father.  There’s never been anyone else taking that position, and there never will be.”

***Ember POV***    

November 19, Evening

     Shortly after Halloween, Dean and Sam both disappeared for nearly two weeks.  Ember might have gone insane during this time if it hadn’t been for Castiel, who did his best to search for the brothers and gave Ember updates when he could.  As it turned out, the brothers were stuck in a television universe created by the Trickster, who turned out to be the angel Gabriel.  Fortunately they were able to escape, and Dean and Ember solidified the reunion by springing for their own motel room for once to have sex, rather than simply asking Sam to leave for awhile.

     Ember’s 26^th birthday was on November 15^th, and she and the brothers took a brief trip back to Indiana to see her mother, a luxury which she rarely afforded herself.  Shortly after her birthday, however, the brothers miraculously managed to gain back the Colt, a gun which could reportedly kill anything.  They had thought that it was gone forever to Lilith, but it was in fact in the possession of Crowley, one of Lilith’s subordinates.  Sam, Dean, and Ember ambushed Crowley at his house, but he was more willing to give up the Colt than they had expected.  He even killed two of his subordinates who were holding Sam and Dean hostage.

     “I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face,” Crowley told them.

     “And why exactly would you want the devil dead?” asked Dean.

     “It’s called survival,” Crowley said.  “But I forgot, you two, at best, are functioning morons.”  Then, to Ember’s discomfort, he looked her straight in the eyes, though she previously had thought that he couldn’t see her while she was invisible.  “Speaking of which, even if I couldn’t see you, which I can, I’d definitely be able to smell you.  You wreak.  Went a little overboard on the men’s cologne, there, love.”

     Ember seethed at him, but said nothing, and instead became visible.

     Crowley continued.  “Lucifer isn’t a demon, remember?  He’s an angel.  An angel famous for his hatred of humankind.  To him, you’re just… filthy bags of pus.  And if that’s the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?”

     “But he created you,” Sam said.

     “To him we’re just servants,” Crowley answered.  “Cannon fodder.  If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind… we’re next.  So… help me, hmm?  Let’s all go back to simpler, better times.  Back to when we could all follow our natures.  I’m in sales, damn it!  So, what do you say?  What if I give you this thing… and you go kill the devil?”

     “Okay,” Sam said.  “You wouldn’t happen to know where the devil is, by chance… would you?”

     “Thursday, birdies tell me, he has an appointment in Carthage, Missouri.”

***Dean POV***

November 21, Day

     Carthage Missouri went to shit almost as soon as Dean, Sam, Ember, and Castiel arrived, accompanied by their friends Jo and Ellen.  Castiel disappeared within the first five minutes, shortly after telling them that there were reapers – lots of reapers, according to Ember.

     Then the demon Meg showed up, complete with “Hellhounds!” Ember shouted.  “I’ll hold them off!  Run!”

     Sam took off with Jo and Ellen to the nearest building, a gas station, but Dean stayed with Ember.  He was alarmed to see that it was taking her more effort than it should have done to hold off the hellhounds, though he could hear many of them yelping in pain.  “Ember!” he said, alarmed.

     “Run!” she said, and finally she ran with him, with Dean shooting backward at what appeared to be nothing.  Just as they reached the gas station, Ember screamed, and Dean saw a gash appear down the side of her leg.  A loud yelp was heard right at Dean’s feet, and Dean pulled Ember the rest of the way into the gas station.  Sam was already ready with salt, throwing it behind them into the doorway.

     Ember fell against the cash register, cradling her gashed leg.  Jo ran up quickly and began to wrap it.

     “They were ready for me,” Ember said, pursing her lips from the pain.  “They knew you’d be here, and they knew I’d be with you.  That demon… you knew her, Dean?”

     “Yeah,” Sam said, throwing more salt to Dean.  “We’ve met.”

     “She’s the one that stabbed Bobby,” Ember told the boys flatly.

     Both of them stopped what they were doing in shock, then quickly resumed.  “I’ll kill that bitch,” Dean said, anger boiling up inside him.

     “What happened?” Jo said.  “Dean told me you took out four demons a few weeks ago.”

     “The demons know I’m getting stronger,” Ember said.  “So they brought reinforcements.”

     “How many hellhounds?” Dean asked.

     Ember said, ‘’I don’t know, maybe… God, more than 20, less than fifty… maybe 25?  30?  I got over half of them, but… my head.  I think I overdid it a little… I feel… really weird.  It’s not just my leg, it’s… like when you read too many books?  Except… so, so much worse.”  Ember was holding onto her head as though it ached horribly.

     “Will you be okay?” Dean asked her, worried.

     “I should be, but… I can’t guarantee how much help I’ll be against the rest of the hellhounds.  It feels like a premonition coming on, but I’m not… ahhhhgggh, I’m not seeing anything!”  She seemed to be trying to focus on Dean’s face.

     “Do you know how many hellhounds are left?”  Dean asked. 

     With what seemed like great effort, Ember stood.  “Ember, don’t-…” Sam began, but Ember told him to be quiet.

     Dean, understanding what she was trying to do, helped her carefully over to the window.  “There are 6 left,” she said slowly, staring into the darkness as though she was having troule focusing.  Then she added, “Damn,” and Dean could see that this time she was smiling slightly, through her grimace.

     “What?” asked Dean.

     “I killed… 20, maybe?  Most of the others.”

     “Wow!” everyone said.  Sam arrived near the window with a chair for her so that she could sit down and look out the window.

     “What are you seeing now?” Dean asked.

     “Six death dogs, all yapping away trying to get in here,” Ember said, trying for sarcasm but failing in her exhaustion.  “Meg is gone, though, but there are another couple demons that have come and gone over the past few minutes.  What do we do?”

     “Salt lines are holding up,” Sam reported.  “Safe for now.”

     “Safe, or trapped like rats,” Ember said, wincing again.  “I don’t think I can take six hounds right now, much less the 2 demons… It feels like my head is exploding.  God, I keep getting these stabbing pains!”

     “We’ve gotta figure out something,” Dean said to Sam in an undertone.  “You heard Meg.  Lucifer is here.  This is our one shot, and we gotta take it no matter what.”

     “I think I’ve got a radio working,” Ellen said from the corner.

     “Dean?  Ember?  Sammy?” came Bobby’s voice on the radio.

     It took about ten minutes, but Bobby was able to work out from the presence of the reapers that Lucifer was most likely in town to perform a ritual to summon Death, the worst of the Four Horsemen.

     Just as they hung up with Bobby, Ember let out one long scream and crumpled to the floor.  Dean ran over to her, but by the time he reached her she already had her eyes open.

     “What’s happened?” he asked her in alarm.

     “Death!” she said.  “Dear God my head hurts!  Death is… he’s going to summon him, tonight, at midnight!  Lucifer…. He’s killed half the town, and all the rest are demons.

     “What?” asked Dean.

     “Where?” Sam asked.

     “How?” said Jo.

     “Slow down,” said Ellen.  “How the hell are we going to get out of this gas station, for starters?  Ember can’t give us any guarantees, and without her powers we’re all gonna get ourselves killed.”  Ember gave a small cry.

     “What if we built a bomb?” Jo asked.  “Ember, if you don’t kill even one of those hellhounds, they’ll have our scent forever.  We’ve got to figure out a way to wipe them all out at once.”

     “Who’s going to set off the bomb?” Dean asked.

     “I will,” said Ember.

     “No!” Dean said.  “Absolutely not.”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “Don’t be dramatic,” she said, “I’ll detonate it remotely.  Shrapnell is easier for me to hold back than hellhounds.”

     “You’re sure?” Sam asked her.

     Ember shrugged, wincing as she did so.  “It’s the best plan we’ve got,” she said.  “I’m more sure about this plan than the five of us trying to take down 6 hellhounds when I’m practically benched.” 

     Dean didn’t like it, but it was the best plan they had.  Ten minutes later, the bomb was ready.  Dean, Sam, Ellen, and Jo stood behind Ember, who stood as far away from where the blast of the bomb would hit as she reasonably could, while still able to see the doors.

     “Ready?” she asked.

     “Ready,” everyone said.

     Ember hit the button to trigger the blast, and the other four ran farther up the roof, shielding their faces.  Once fully on the fire escape, Dean waited.  One… two… three… four… finally, Ember came into sight, running as fast as her limp would carry her.  She had a long gash down her face, was missing a shoe, and looked exhausted, but she was alive, and the bandage on her leg had held.  Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

     “Did you get them all?” asked Sam.

     “All except for two, and I killed them off afterward,” she said hoarsely.  “Let’s go.”

     Twenty minutes later, the group found Lucifer.  He was digging a gigantic hole in the ground, and he was surrounded by demons.

     “It’s just like in my premonition,” whispered Ember.

     They were going up against Lucifer.  This was insane.  They had lost the angel up their sleeve, and Ember could barely walk and barely use her powers. 

     “Last words?” Sam asked, echoing his sentiment.

     Perhaps it was because he was thinking about Ember, or maybe it was because he’d just watched her get mauled by a hellhound, and still manage to take out nearly 30 of them.  Whatever the reason, Dean whispered, “I love you” to Ember. 

     She stood, stunned, for a second, then blurted out, “I love you too.”

     “Okay,” Dean replied.

     “Okay,” repeated Ember.

     “Here goes nothing,” said Dean.

     The group strode forward with their guns cocked.  “Hey!” Sam yelled at Lucifer.  “You wanted to see me?”

     “Well, Sam, you don’t need that gun here,” Lucifer replied.  He was tall, and his skin seemed to be peeling in places.  Dean wondered what pour soul Lucifer had chosen as his vessel, and if that would happen to Sam if Lucifer took Sam as his vessel next.

     “You know I’d never hurt you,” Lucifer said.  “Not really.”

     “Yeah?” Dean said.  “Well I’d hurt you.  So suck it.”  And he shot Lucifer in the head, at point blank range, with the Colt.

     Lucifer crumpled, and at first Dean felt elated.  It was only a couple of seconds, however, before he realized something was wrong.  None of the demons surrounding them had so much as blinked an eye.  Worse, Lucifer had showed no signs of pain or death, like demons typically did when they were shot with the Colt.  Like Azazel had.  Dean looked around in fear.

     Suddenly, Lucifer took a big breath.  “Owwwww!” he said, getting up quickly.  “Where did you get that?”  And then Lucifer backhanded Dean.  He could feel himself flying off the ground, hear Ember’s scream, and he knew no more.

     When Dean woke again, he quickly scrambled to find Sam, ignoring the pain in his forehead.  With a sigh of relief, he noted that Ember, Sam, Jo, and Ellen were all still close-by.  Ember shot him a terrified look, and he could see why.  She appeared to be using all of her power on Lucifer, but he barely even seemed to feel it.

     “Repeat after me,” Lucifer was saying to the demons surrounding him.  “We offer up our lives, blood, souls, to complete this tribute.”

     The demons did, and one by one they fell – 20, 30, 40, 50 of them fell to the ground.

     They had been men once.

     “What?” Lucifer said, catching Sam’s frightened glare.  “They’re just demons.”

     Then the ground began to shake, and Lucifer looked away.  Then, suddenly, miraculously, just when Dean thought all hope was lost, Castiel appeared in front of him.  Castiel put his finger to his lips, reached out his hand, and suddenly all six of them disappeared, far away from Lucifer.

Chapter Text

***Dean, POV***

Christmas

     Christmas was a happy affair for Dean for what felt like the first time in a long time.  Truthfully, he had had a decent Christmas the winter before he went to Hell, which, ironically, had been the first time since he was a child that he’d actually celebrated Christmas.

     This year, for different reasons, everyone seemed to want to celebrate Christmas.  Bobby wanted to celebrate it because it was the first Christmas he would be spending with his daughter.  (Dean also thought that the possibility that Ember may not actually be his daughter after all made him want to celebrate it with her even more, but he would never say this aloud, even to Ember.)  Ember wanted to celebrate it to cheer up Bobby, and also because she “wanted Dean and Sam to have a good Christmas for once.”  After Dean found out that this would include sex and money for the new car parts he had been wanting, he was more than on board with the idea.  He even worked several hours for a friend of Bobby’s to make honest money to buy Ember a present.  He would normally have hustled pool, but he knew she would never accept anything frivolous from him that he hadn’t bought with honest money.  Dean was right, too.  He bought her a small heart necklace made of real emeralds, and she was pleased.  Seeing it around her neck was worth the heckling from Sam (and even a few comments from Bobby) that he had to endure for nearly a week afterward.

     Ember, Sam, and Dean continued hunting, but there was no word on Lucifer.  The three knew that he was out there somewhere, however, if for no other reason than Ember’s life continued to be demon-free.  Aside from when Bobby got stabbed, when they had fought the demons in front of Jesse, and their most recent interaction with Lucifer, no demon had dared get close to Ember.

     Ember’s powers finally seemed to have leveled off, too.  Castiel visited once in awhile, and this was always a good opportunity to gauge how strong she had become, as he was the only worthy opponent available.  She seemed to have the ability to kill and exorcise multiple demons, as well as the abilities of levitation, flying short distances, invisibility, and premonition.  Castiel was certain that her premonition was limited to relating to Lucifer, however.

     And so the new year started quietly.

***Dean POV***

January 26th

     Near the middle of January, Bobby received a call from an old hunter friend named Martin that there was some sort of monster in the mental hospital in Ketchum, Oklahoma.  Within a week, Ember had managed to set herself up as a therapist there, and Dean and Sam had managed to enter as patients.  It was a standard adventure – a milk run, really, compared to their interactions with Lucifer, but Dean was glad to leave – he was beginning to think that the therapy provided there was really starting to get to Sam.

     Apparently he had been right – to his horror, right after they escaped the ward, Sam seemed to decide that it was sharing and caring time.  “Most of the time I can hide it,” Sam told him and Ember.  But they were right.  I am angry.”  Son of a bitch, Dean thought.  God he needed a drink.  “I’m mad at everything!” Sam continued.  “I used to be mad at you and Dad, then Lilith, now it’s Lucifer.  And I make excuses.  I blame Ruby, or the demon blood.  But it’s not their fault.  It’s not them, it’s me.  It’s inside me.  I’m mad all the time.  And I don’t know why.” 

     Dean looked at his brother, then looked at Ember.  He realized Ember was looking at him.  She was a therapist.  Wasn’t she supposed to deal with this feelings crap?  Dean usually wasn’t quite so irritable, but he was still wearing the blue scrubs from the ward, and he’d been in there for a week, and he wanted a cheeseburger.   “Okay, stop.  Stop it.  So what if you are?  What are you gonna do?  Take a leave of absence?  You gonna say yes to Lucifer?  What?”

     “No, of course not, I-…”

     “Exactly,” Dean said.  “You’re gonna take all that crap, and you’re gonna bury it.  You’re gonna forget about it, because that’s how we keep going.”

     “No,” said Ember’s voice at his side, “That’s how you keep going.  And do you know what?  Maybe that’s the problem.”

     “What?” said Dean, confused.

     “Did you seriously just give him the advice to bury it?  God, you two are emotionally retarded!  He buries his anger in demon blood, and when he can’t do that, he lets it out.  You, you bury your anger in alcohol and sex and more alcohol!”

     “What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean said.  Ember had told him to stop drinking once in awhile, and he knew that she disapproved of how much he drank, but she’d never really put her foot down on the subject.

     “Do you know why I’m not flying around smiting people right now?” Ember asked.  “It’s not because I’ve been careful about how much of my power I use… Cas is right.  It’s because I don’t give into my anger.  I do the Therapist thing, and I find healthy ways to release my anger, and I work out, and I kill things that shouldn’t exist, and I have a horribly unhealthy addiction to ice cream!  But I don’t take it out on the people around me, I don’t keep secrets about what makes me angry from the people who love me – and I’m looking at both of you on that one - and I don’t drown my anger in alcohol!  And I sure as hell don’t bury it!  You two are supposed to be god damn vessels, for Christ sake.  Do you know how easy it is for the angels and the demons and every other damn thing we fight to use your anger as ammunition against you?  Dean, you ought to know this, better than anyone.  Don’t tell me you’re going to bury it, or the angels and the demons have already won!”  With that, Ember slid into the passenger side of the Impala and turned “Burnin’ For You” by Blue Oyster Cult up to full blast, signaling the end of the conversation.

     Dean shrugged at Sam and said, “She’s hot when she’s angry.”  But the truth was that it was in that moment that Dean realized, for sure, that he loved her.  (And, begrudgingly, he vowed to keep his alcohol intake down to a few drinks in the evening.)

***Ember POV***

January 28^th, Day

     At the end of January, Ember and the two brothers found themselves in Housatonic, Massachusetts.  Sam and Dean’s old babysitter, Donna, appeared to be having a poltergeist problem, and (as usual) the brothers had arrived to help.  After speaking with Donna, the brothers and Ember stopped in a small burger joint for lunch.

    “You know, poltergeist aside, Donna looked pretty good, don’t you think?” asked Dean.

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “I’m right here, ya gratuitous flirt,” she said.

     “Dude,” Sam said, “Don’t tell me you’ve still got the hots for our babysitter.”

     “What?  No!” Dean said, unconvincingly.  “I’m just saying, you know, she’s… she’s doing good.  You know, with her husband, and her kid.  This whole Amityville thing being thrown at them, and they’re still hanging tough.”

     “Yeah,” Sam agreed.

     Dean snuck a look at Ember before asking both of them, “You ever think you’d want something like that?  Wife, rugrats, the whole nine?”

     Sam shook his head.  “No.  Not really my thing anymore.”

     Dean looked at Ember for her answer, and she understood:  the question had been brought up in a group situation, but her answer would mean more to him than that.  They had been together too long for him to be saying things about family and commitment just to get in her pants, and they were honestly at about the right point in their relationship to be slowly answering these questions.  It had been a smooth question, on his part, and she recognized that.

     “Maybe after the Apocalypse is over,” she said.  “I don’t want to have my own kids, but… I’ve always wanted to settle down, you know that.  I guess I always figured… maybe someday I’d find a kid who’d had to face down demons before, you know, an orphan, and sort of… acquire them.”

     “Huh,” Dean said, and he appeared to think about this for a minute.  It occurred to Ember that Dean had been smoother than she’d thought.  He’d created a way for her to answer the question, and him to be able to change the subject before she could suss out his answer in a way that didn’t leave her vulnerable for asking.  And that was exactly what he did.

     For the next couple of hours, Ember wondered if she had interpreted this conversation correctly.  She thought she might have stepped over a line when she’d said her piece about Dean burying his anger the other day, but surprisingly he seemed to have taken her words to heart.  He hadn’t said anything, but he did seem to be limiting his drinking more than she had seen him do previously.  It was a good thing, too – if his drinking had gotten any worse, his liver would last even shorter than a hunter’s life already guaranteed him.  And that was just sad.

      Ironically, however, the conversation in the burger joint wasn’t the only conversation that weekend about what Dean had always referred to as “an apple pie life.”  The poltergeist itself had been easy enough to take care of, but the three had also had to deal with three high school friends who had been practicing witchcraft.  One of them even managed to switch bodies with Sam, but Ember saw him immediately for who he really was before any harm could be done.  Still, Sam was shaken by the short time he did spend in the home (and body) of a teenager.  “All that apple pie family crap?  It’s stressful,” he told Dean and Ember on their way out of town.  “I don’t think we missed a damn thing.”

     “Or we don’t know what we’re missing,” Dean said, and for just a moment, he caught Ember’s eye in the rearview mirror.

***Dean POV***

February 14, Evening

     Dean wasn’t the type to be romantic, typically, but he really liked Ember.  They had been dating for almost a year, and Dean knew it was well past the time when “I love you’s” were normally issued.  They hadn’t said the three words since they’d thought they were going to die during their encounter with Lucifer, and Dean knew they really needed to be said. 

     Still, Dean had strongly considered never saying “I love you”, if for no other reason than it wasn’t his style, and also because Sam and Bobby would never let him hear the end of it.  He knew Ember wouldn’t fault him for it, either.  He knew that she knew he loved her, even though he didn’t say it.  And, to top off the argument, Dean telling Ember “I love you” would be a vocalization of feelings that he felt might set a precedent in the wrong direction.  He showed her he loved her, on a constant basis.  He got her her favorite foods, he never expected anything of her, he’d gotten her that necklace for Christmas, and he’d even stopped drinking for her (sort of, mostly).  He shouldn’t have to tell her he loved her.

     Just when he’d made up his mind that the “I love you” conversation could wait, Sam took the situation out of his hands.  “So, you and Ember,” he said.  “What’s up with that?”

     “What do you mean?”

     “Well, you know, I just thought you might be…” Sam trailed off, as though Dean was supposed to know what he was thinking.

     “What?” asked Dean.

     “Well, getting… I don’t know, bored.”

     “What?” Dean asked sharply. 

     Sam shrugged.  “I don’t know, you’ve been dating almost a year, and… You haven’t even told her you love her yet, man.  Being in a relationship of convenience isn’t doing either of you any favors.  If you want to kick her off the hunt, she’ll be safe at Bobby’s.  You know that, right?”

     “It’s not a relationship of convenience!” Dean told his brother defensively.

     Sam stared at him, as if searching him for lies.  “Okay, man.  I just…”

     “What?” Dean asked again, because Sam had trailed off again.

     “Well, I know it’s not like you to ever put a ring on it, but tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day.  You’ve gotta have something planned.”

     Shit.  Was tomorrow really Valentine’s Day?  And worse, did Ember really think that way?  Was she frustrated with his lack of commitment?

     Because of his discussion with Sam, Dean actually put some effort into planning the whole “Valentine’s Day” thing over the following 24 hours.  He knew she liked cheeseburgers better than what most girls liked to eat on Valentine’s Day (this was part of the reason he loved her), so he found the classiest cheeseburger joint in the town where they were working their current case.  He even found a nice place where they could go dancing, something he knew Ember wanted, though he didn’t dance as a rule.

     Dean had actually worked himself into an excitement on the morning of Valentine’s Day, but by evening he couldn’t have been less in the mood.  It was strange, actually – he wasn’t in the mood for anything.  He didn’t attempt to grope Ember like he normally would have when she showed up in a new and very revealing dress.  (He suspected she’d stolen it, which normally would have made it even sexier.)  He didn’t even enjoy his cheeseburger at the restaurant, which he normally would’ve thought was phenomenal.

     Ember didn’t seem to be enjoying herself either, Dean thought.  Twice, he saw her hand twitch, like it often did when she was bringing it up to use her full power.  When he asked her what was wrong, however, she simply said, “I’m really sorry, Dean.  I guess it’s just been awhile since I’ve had a night out, and I’m a little on edge.  I’ll try to relax.”

     Between his own uninterested mood and Ember’s distracted one, however, Dean was almost glad when Sam called to update him on the case they were working on.  “Dean, you’re going to want to see this,” he said.  “I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I wanted to let you know because you’re a couple, on a date, just like all the victims.  On all four of the hearts of the victims is a letter, like the ones carved into our ribs.  I think it’s Enochian.”

     “Enochian?  Are you sure?” Dean asked.  “We’re on our way.”

February 15, Evening

     The Enochian letters, as it turned out, was a red herring, a false lead.  The cupid who was hooking up the couples with the Enochian letters on their hearts was doing so innocently, according to Castiel, who read his mind.  So, they were back to square one.

     To make matters worse, Dean and Ember had never bothered to have Valentine’s Day sex, nor had Dean bothered to tell her he loved her.  Dean hadn’t been in the mood for sex after the cupid fiasco, and so he’d asked Ember if she wanted to take a rain check.  She had readily agreed.  Dean wondered if perhaps their initial “flame” as a couple was slowing to a dull fizzle, but this didn’t make any sense, either.  Just three days ago, when Dean had come back from being sent back in time by angels again, they’d had sex randomly in a hotel bathroom while Sam was out on a food run.  Afterwards, the neighbors on the other side of the wall had apparently complained to the establishment because they’d been so loud.  Two days before that, she’d given him road head while she had been invisible, with Sam asleep in the back seat.  Ever since they’d been on the case with the cupid, however, Ember had seemed distracted, and Dean had simply felt numb to everything.

     As the day after Valentine’s Day wore on, Ember acted more and more strangely.  When she wasn’t paying attention, her hand would begin to twitch like it did when she was using her powers, and she would gaze off into space.  “What’s going on with you?” Dean asked her late in the afternoon.

     “I don’t know,” she said.  “It’s weird.  Ever since we’ve hit this town, I’ve just been… hormonal or something.  It’s like my demon side is… more potent somehow.  I just want to wrap up this case so we can leave.”

     At that point, Sam staggered in with a suitcase.  Sam had been gone all day as well, Dean noted.  He had left early that morning to look at the body of a man that had killed himself by eating too many Twinkies, but it must’ve been hours since Sam had left the coroner’s.

     “What the hell took so long?” Dean asked.

     “Ran into a demon,” Sam said.  He looked a bit drunk, Dean thought.  “He got away from me.  But I stole his suitcase.”

     Ember frowned.  Dean saw, again, her hand twitch, as though it wanted to fly upward and push something against the wall, but she would not allow it.

     “What the hell has a demon got to do with this, anyway?” Dean asked.

     “Believe me,” Sam sighed, “I’ve got no idea.”

     Dean looked closer at Sam.  He was sweating, and looked paler than usual.  “You okay?” Dean asked.

     “Yeah,” Sam answered.  “Yeah, I’ll be alright.”

     “Let’s crack her open,” Dean said.  “What’s the worst that could happen, right?”

     The suitcase, when opened, emitted a bright white light, unlike anything Sam or Dean had ever seen before.

     “What the hell was that?” Dean asked, alarmed.

     “It’s a human soul,” said Castiel, who had appeared suddenly on the bed.  He was eating a cheeseburger again, which appeared to be his habit as of late.  “It’s starting to make sense,” Castiel continued, taking a large bite.

     “Now what about that makes sense?” Sam said.

     “And when did you start eating?” asked Dean.  He realized with alarm that Ember was looking at Castiel with an angry look on her face.

     “Exactly,” said Castiel.  “My hunger – it’s a clue, actually.”

     “For what?” the brothers asked at once.  Ember said nothing, but simply stared at Castiel with a glare.  What was wrong with her?

     “This town isn’t suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect,” Castiel said.  “It’s suffering from hunger.  Starvation, to be exact.  Specifically, Famine.”

     Ember let out a long breath, and Sam said, “Famine?  As in… the Horseman?”

     “Great,” said Dean.  “That’s freaking great.”

     “I thought famine meant starvation.  Like, as in, you know, food,” Sam said.

     “Yes,” said Castiel, “Absolutely.  But not just food.  I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something – sex, attention, drugs, love.”

     “Well, that explains the puppy lovers that cupid shot up,” Dean said.

     “Right,” said Castiel.  “The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.”

     “Okay, but what about you?” Dean asked.  “I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?”

     “It’s my vessel – Jimmy,” Castiel said.  “His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine’s effect.”

     “So Famine just rolls into town, and everybody goes crazy?” Dean asked.

     “And then will come Famine riding on a black steed,” Castiel quoted.  “He will ride into the land of plenty, and great will be the Horseman’s hunger, because he is hunger.”

     “So what, this whole town is just going to eat, drink, and screw itself to death?” Sam asked from inside the bathroom.

     “We should stop it,” said Castiel, who was working on another burger.

     Suddenly, Dean heard the door shut with a slam.  “Ember?” he asked, but there was no reply.

     “Ember!” he said, leaping up and grabbing the keys to the Impala, which she hadn’t taken.  She had been acting so weirdly today, and he didn’t want her running around outside until they decided what to do about Famine.

     “Let her go, Dean,” Castiel said, and Dean stopped.

     “What the hell, Cas?” Dean said to his friend.

     “Dean,” said Sam, who was sitting down on the bed, looking tired and sweating more than usual.  “I love Ember, I do, but… she’s half-demon.  What do you think she hungers for?”

     Sam was right, Dean realized.  It all made sense, now:  the glare that had colored Ember’s face all day, and the way her hand kept twitching.  Still, he leapt up.  “All the more reason!” he insisted.  “We’ve got to go get her, tie her up-…”

     “With what?” Castiel asked, materializing in front of the door.  “There are no chains or bars that can hold her.  She may be nearly as powerful as Famine himself.”

     “Okay,,, so, Cas, you can go find her, and beam her outta here,” Dean said to his friend.  “You gotta beam her to, like, Montana.  Anywhere but here.”

     “Even if I could, it won’t work,” Castiel said.  “She’s already infected.  The hunger is just going to travel with her.  And she barely got out of here without killing as it was.  Didn’t you see the look she was giving us?”

     “So what, I’m just supposed to let her go?” Dean asked accusatorily.

     “Stopping Famine will stop Ember’s symptoms,” Castiel said.  “And the faster we do it, the less people will die in the meantime.”

     Dean was furious.  He hated this.  This was why he didn’t get into relationships, especially relationships with half-demons.  He was ashamed to think that way, because he knew Ember would be mortified if she knew, but he had to face the facts:  his girlfriend was probably out killing people.  He didn’t want to think that if they couldn’t stop Famine, it would be his job to kill her.  He didn’t want to think about that.  He would stop Famine, and save her, for once, from herself.  She was always saving them. 

     “That’s a great idea,” said Dean.  “How?”

     “How did you stop the last Horseman you met?” Castiel asked, still chewing.

     “War got his mojo from this ring,” Dean answered, grabbing it out of his jacket pocket.  “And after we cut it off, he just tucked tail and ran.  And everybody that was affected, it was like they woke up out of a dream.  You think Famine’s got a class ring too?”

     “I know he does,” Castiel answered, taking another bite of his burger.

     “Well, okay,” said Dean, growing impatient with his friend.  “Let’s track him down and get to chopping.  I want Ember back before she goes apeshit.”

     “Yeah,” Castiel said, looking at his empty take-out bag with disappointment and not moving.

     Dean let out an impatient sigh.  “Come on!” he said, looking toward the bathroom, where Sam had disappeared.  “Come on Sam, what’s taking so long?  I’m going to leave without you!”  He looked back at Castiel.  “What are you, the hamburglar?”

     “I’ve developed a taste for ground beef,” said Castiel matter-of-factly.

     “What, have you even tried to stop it?” Dean asked him.  He yelled backward, “Sam!  Let’s go!  What the hell are you doing in there?”

     “I’m an angel,” Castiel replied.  “I can stop anytime I want.”

     “Dean,” came Sam’s muffled voice from inside the bathroom.  “I um… I can’t go.”

     “What do you mean?” Dean said, agitated now.  What the hell was everyone playing at? 

     “I think it got to me, Dean,” Sam said.  “I think I’m hungry for it.”

     Dean’s heart took a further nosedive.  Ember and Sam?!?!  “Hungry for what?” Dean snapped, though he already knew.

     “You know,” said Sam, who had the decency to look ashamed. 

     “Demon blood?  You gotta be kidding me,” Dean said angrily.  “You and Ember?  What the hell am I supposed to do?”

     “You go cut that bastard’s finger off,” Sam said, panting.  “But Dean… before you go, you better lock me down.”

***Sam POV***

February 15, Late Night

     It broke Sam’s heart to know that he had disappointed his brother, again, after all this.  Dean was out going after Famine with Castiel, and he was stuck here, chained to a sink.  It was almost too easy when the demons found him, to drain one, and then the other.  Far, far too easy.

     And just when his hunger had ceased for a split second, before another wave hit, a new smell hit him – demon, but not really.

     It was Ember, and her eyes were black.  He knew, intellectually, that this wasn’t good.  Most demons have black eyes, which they hide with the eyes of their vessel; Ember was the opposite.  Over a year ago, when Sam had first spoken to her about being half-demon (back before Anna, when she and Dean were flirting constantly), she had told him that her eyes could go black, but not for more than a second unless she was doing something that required “dark side” powers.  As in, her eyes only remained black when she was using her powers to their extent, and doing something that she really wasn’t supposed to be doing.  It also occurred to him that if he wasn’t so hungry for demon blood, he might be terrified right now.  But her blood wasn’t demon blood, not pure, anyway.  She was still too human.

     “They got to you before I could get to them, I see,” she said in an icy voice.

     “What?” said Sam, confused.

     “Let’s go,” Ember said.  She didn’t wait for him to get up on his own, but prodded him up with her powers.  Similarly, in the parking lot, she laid her hand on a nearby Corvette, which immediately began to purr, and jumped inside, forcing Sam to follow.  She then sped down the road in the Corvette at top speed.  When other drivers passed them on the road, Ember used her powers to push their cars out of the way and sped past them.

     It occurred to Sam through his haze of hunger that something was strange here, and he ought to focus.

     “Where are we going?”

     “To find more demons, obviously,” Ember said, with a maniacal glint in her black eye.  “Can’t you smell them?”

     That sounded good.  Demons were good.  He wanted their blood.  But there was something else odd about this conversation…

     “Where did you go?” he asked her, finally latching onto a question he had had earlier, when things like that seemed to matter.

     “To kill demons,” she said, speeding even faster with the car. 

     Demons?  Castiel had thought she would kill them…

     “Why… did you come back to me?” he asked slowly.

     She smirked, her grin becoming increasingly wide and maniacal.  “Supply dried up.  Needed more.”

     “And… where we’re going now… there are more demons?” Sam asked.

     “I can feel them,” she answered, grinning toothily.  “And Famine.  He’s there too.”  She cackled maniacally again.  “Guess his power is working against him.  I’m hungry to kill him, too.”  Ember appeared to shake her head for just a second, and for just a few seconds her maniacal grin subsided somewhat.  “When you go in, you need to get Cas out.  Then you can drink them, if you want, if I don’t kill them first.  I don’t care what you do.  But you need to go in first.  Get Cas out.  Promise me.  Promise me you’ll get Cas out.”

     Sam could tell that, like him, she was struggling to focus through a haze.  It made him redouble his efforts.  “Get Cas out… why?”

     “I’ll kill him,” Ember said, shaking her head again and pushing a car out of the way far more roughly than she needed to.  The car spun out into the extra lane, the front headlight shattering, but Ember paid it no mind.  “Demons, and angels, and Horseman.  I hate them.  I hate them all.  You’ll have maybe a minute, that’s as long as I can give you.  Get Cas out.”

***Dean POV***

February 15, Late Night

     Dean had wondered, of course, why Famine had affected Sam and Ember but not him.  Famine, as it turned out, had a theory.  “That’s one deep, dark nothing you’ve got there, Dean.  Can’t fill it, can you?  Not with food or drink.  Not even with sex.  You can smirk, and joke, and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me!  I can see inside you, Dean!”

     And somewhere deep down, Dean knew it was true.  “I can see how broken you are, how defeated,” Famine continued.  “You can’t win, and you know it, but you just keep fighting, just keep going through the motions.  You’re not hungry, Dean, because inside, you’re already dead.”

     Dean sighed.  Famine was right.  He couldn’t do this.  He couldn’t defeat Famine.  He never should’ve come on his own.

     Then he saw a blinding flash of light, and realized that Castiel had been banished.  No! he thought.  Cas!  But then he heard Sam’s voice.  “Let him go.”

     With a horrible realization, Dean saw the blood around Sam’s mouth, and realized he’d given in to his hunger for demon blood.  “Sammy, no!” he yelled.

     Two demons walked toward Sam, but Famine yelled, “Stop!  No one lays a finger on this sweet little boy.”

     Both of the demons stopped in their tracks.  Famine continued.  “Sam, I see you got the snack I sent you.”

     “You sent?” Sam asked, and Dean realized that Famine must have sent demons back to the motel room for Sam to drink.

     “Don’t worry,” Famine said.  “You’re not like everyone else.  You’ll never die from drinking too much.  You’re the exception that proves the rule, just the way Satan wanted you to be.”  Dean saw Sam’s face flicker in disgust, and for a second, he thought he saw Sam’s confidence falter.

     “So…” Famine said in his slow voice, “Cut their throats!”  He gestured to the demons around him.  “Have at them!”

     “Sammy, no!” screamed Dean.

     “Please!” said Famine.  “Be my guest.”

     Sam was taking labored breaths now, and though it seemed to cost him everything he had, he refused the offer.  Instead, he raised his hands, and began exorcising all five demons at once.  Dean could see that it was costing him everything he had.  How many demons had he drained? Dean wondered.  At least one.  Maybe two?  Still, his nose was bleeding, but soon all five humans, now demon-free, had dropped to the ground.

     “No,” Sam said firmly to Famine.

     “Well…” said Famine.  “If you don’t want them, then I’ll have them.”  And then the old man collected all five demons from the underworld, opening his mouth wide as though breathing them all in.  Dean and Sam made eye contact, both of them horrified.

     Then Sam stuck out his hand again, and Dean knew he was going to attempt to kill the Horseman, too.

     “I’m a Horseman, Sam,” Famine said.  “Your power doesn’t work on me.”

     Then, a voice which sent chills down Dean’s spine said, “But I’m hungry too.”

     Ember had come out of nowhere, Dean thought.  Her eyes were a terrifying black.  “Sam, watch out!” yelled Dean, but he quickly realized that Ember was not after Sam.  She, too, had her hand out (the one that had been twitching for the past few days), and both she and Sam were summoning all of the demons from inside Famine.  Dean could see that Ember was twisting and turning the demons with her hand as well.  She had a maniacal look on her face that he knew he would never forget.

     And then Famine was no more.

     Slowly, Ember’s eyes went back to normal.  Her face seemed to fall, and she fell to her knees, crying.  He ran to her and caught her deftly, holding her to him.  Tears swam in her eyes.  “I thought…” Dean told her.  “But your hunger…”

     “Demons,” she said, her voice muffled in his shirt as she hiccupped to catch her breath.  “And angels, apparently.  I left so… so I wouldn’t kill Cas.  Demons… when I was younger, I was so angry, and so now… I couldn’t control it.  I killed them all…” 

     Ember raised her head then, and it was only when Ember spoke that Dean realized that Cas had joined them again.  “I’m so sorry, Cas.  That’s why I left.  I couldn’t be around you.  It’s not you, it’s angels in general.  And I don’t feel it now, and I don’t want to kill you, I promise, but…”

     “There’s no need,” said Cas, nodding stiffly at Ember.  “Famine brought out the hunger in all of us.”  He nodded at Dean, and Dean realized that Cas was (as usual) not stopping to heed the emotions of everyone involved, but instead was moving on to business.  “I’ll take Sam back to Bobby’s panic room to detox.  I wasn’t very helpful.  It’s the least I can do.”

     Dean nodded at Sam, who looked resigned but determined.  He then nodded at Cas, who left with Sam without a word.

     Dean and Ember were alone, suddenly, and Dean’s head was swimming with the image of Ember, standing regal and terrifying a few moments ago, black eyes blazing like coals.  It stood out in sharp contrast with the Ember of the moment, who was crying into his lapels.  He held her tightly and strong-armed her into the Impala, which was outside. 

     “What do you mean, you killed them all?” he asked her.

     “I… it was like being in a haze,” she confessed, still swallowing tears.  “I left because Cas… I was so angry.  But I knew he… he didn’t deserve it.  So I left, and I got to a big field… and then I used all my demon powers that I have, and they were attracted to it, and they all came...  They sort of straggled in, and I could feel the demon side take over, and I killed them, one by one.  There must’ve been…”  Ember gulped.  “Maybe 100, overall.”  Ember was calmer, now, though she was still crying.  “And I was in the air, and they were all around me, and a few touched down to humans, and I don’t know how many humans I killed in the process…”  She was still crying.

     “You… a hundred?!”  Dean was startled.  He didn’t know what to say.

     “I… I don’t know,” Ember said, and dissolved into tears again.

     Dean held her close the rest of the way to the hotel.  His heart ached for her.  After how worried he had been that she would kill everyone in town, how upset and scared he had been when she had left, her hunger had been for killing demons and angels.  He would marry this woman, he knew that now.  He loved her, and that was that.  Now that Famine was gone, Dean’s heart was suddenly so full of love that he could no longer hold in the words.  “I love you, Ember,” he told her softly.  “I love you so much.”

     She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes.  “I love you too, Dean,” she told him.

***Dean POV***

February 16, Very Early Morning

     Dean woke from a deep sleep to find Castiel at the foot of his bed.  “Cas!” he said in a hissed whisper, because Ember was still asleep next to him.  She did not wake.

     Castiel pointed at Ember and put his fingers to his lips, and gestured for Dean to follow him.  When Dean stood up and came close to Castiel, Castiel put his fingers on Dean’s forehead, and suddenly he was in a completely different place.

     Dean was met by a sight that would have been gruesome, if it hadn’t been so awe-inspiring.  He was on the edge of a small clearing.  Strewn across the field were bodies – 13 total, he counted, though a couple of them were in pieces.  And everywhere – absolutely everywhere – there was sulfur.  There was sulfur on the trees, sulfur on the ground, sulfur covering all of the leaves.  Dean stopped short of where the sulfur began, but he guessed it would have gone nearly to his waist at its deepest point, near the middle of the clearing.

     “I wanted you to see it,” Castiel said, “before I cleared it up.  Your girlfriend has secured her place in Heaven.  So long as she does not stray from the path she is on, the angels will honor her among us.  But… that does not mean she has not also gone farther on the path of darkness.”

     “What does that mean?” Dean asked.

     “Killing demons, in any capacity, is considered an act of Heaven,” Castiel said.  “But an infection by Famine, particularly one that causes a killing spree – not to mention the killing of human hosts - will tempt her dark side.”

     “Will she be okay?” Dean asked Castiel, concerned.

     “There is no evidence to the contrary at the moment,” Castiel said.  “The angels are impressed with her, at least.”

     Dean rolled his eyes.  “I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing.”

     “No,” said Castiel.  “I’m pretty sure that Lucifer and the demons will decide, in the wake of this tragedy, that they won’t be able to use her in the way that they thought that they would,” he said.  “Before they wanted her left alive, to use if they could convert her.  Now it seems she falls in league with you, that they want her dead as soon as possible.”

     “Always what I love to hear,” Dean said sarcastically.  He was still awed by the sight of the field full of sulfer.  He wasn’t sure what to think.  To be honest, he himself was torn between worry for his girlfriend and sheer awe at her power and what she had achieved.  “Why… why didn’t you bring her?” he asked Castiel.

     Castiel cocked his head, clearly confused.  “She doesn’t like the dead bodies,” he reminded Dean.  “She scares me when she cries.”

     Castiel had a point, Dean thought – Ember would not have liked knowing that 13 humans were killed.  She didn’t care about her permanent place in Heaven as much as she did about whether or not she was tempted by the dark side.

     “How many demons did she kill last night?” Dean asked Castiel.

     Castiel shook his head.  “Somewhere upwards of 100, I’d say,” he said, and Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  “Last night her power must’ve reached….” Castiel blew out a breath.  “Every demon in the Midwest, perhaps.”

     “Every demon in the Midwest?” Dean said, shocked.

     Castiel shrugged.  “Only the low-level ones that could be easily attracted.  That’s why she didn’t kill any angels.  We don’t come simply because a half-demon calls.”

     “Don’t call her that!” Dean told Castiel sharply.

     “I apologize,” said Castiel matter-of-factly.  “I did not mean it as an insult.  Like I said, she has earned her place with us in Heaven.”

     “I’ll let her know that,” Dean said sarcastically.  “You’re right, she’ll be really upset about the 13 humans she killed, and how close she got to going ‘dark side.’”  Still, he thought, quirking a proud smile, his girlfriend had killed over 100 demons in one night.  Particularly with the apocalypse coming, he wasn’t letting this woman go any time soon.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

April 8, Late Night

     After vanquishing Famine, Ember spent two weeks at Bobby’s.  Dean and Sam spent the first week there with her, while Sam detoxed from the demon blood.  Both of them left for another hunt at the beginning of the second week, however Ember insisted she was not yet ready to join them.  She would later be ashamed to explain to Dean that she spent that second week binging on Netflix and wishing she were out hunting with the brothers.  Still, she felt that she needed some down time.  It was a sort of self-imposed jail-and-relaxation sentence.

     Dean had told her that he had gone with Castiel to see the wreckage she had caused.  She knew she had killed 13 people, but no one but Ember seemed to care too much about this in comparison to the hundreds of demons she had apparently offed.  This was the down side, Ember thought, of dating a hunter.  Hunters were trained to think of the “greater good”, to think in strategic moves of logic, rather than emotions.  She knew that dating anyone for a year (much less a half-demon) was already extremely far out of Dean’s comfort zone, so she tried not to weigh him down with how upset she was about the 13 people.  Bobby and Sam were similarly unhelpful, so Ember spent long hours on the phone with her mother.

     Finally, in March, Ember returned to hunting.  She and Dean immediately resumed their previous habits, including sex as often and as creatively as humanly possible. 

     For some time, there was no news on the apocalypse front.  In early April, however, Dean and Sam managed to learn from the angel Joshua that God would not be helping them in their struggle, which was a sizeable blow to their small band of hunters, or “Team Free Will” as Dean had taken to calling them.  After this, Dean brooded and became even more surly, and Ember noticed that he had once again increased his intake of alcohol.

     Finally, on April 8, the demons struck back.  There must’ve been nearly 50 them, and these were not the low-level demons she’d attracted to the field when she’d been infected by Famine.  “But you’ve taken on that many before!” protested Sam when Ember screamed at the boys to drive away faster.  He must’ve killed upwards of 10 of the hosts with his shotgun, but he was all out of ammo, and he’d been sliced in the arm earlier on his way to the Impala.

     “Not at once, and only by tapping into my demonic side!” she yelled, pushing backward at the demons with all her might, and killing wave after wave of them.  By this point, Dean had been driving away from them as they continued to give chase for nearly half an hour.  “Back with Famine, they all sort of… straggled in!  Plus I was…”  She trailed off, but she knew the other two knew what she meant.  “Not in my right mind?”  “Demonic with hunger?”

     Ember knocked out wave upon wave of demons, but they still kept coming.  Her nose was bleeding, her head was screaming, and she knew she couldn’t go on much longer.  Demons were much easier to kill when she was half-crazed with hunger to kill them, when she was fully employing her demon side, and when she was faced with a few demons at a time swirling through the air rather than demons who had already inhabited hosts and amassed an ambush.  This was much more difficult, and she was exhausted with the effort of keeping it up.  Still, she wouldn’t kill another host – not after Famine.  Sam and Dean could kill as many hosts as they wanted – they didn’t have the constant threat of a demon side threatening to overtake them.

     Ember felt near to passing out when Dean suddenly stopped the car, and Ember heard a voice over her head.  The voice was chanting words Ember didn’t recognize, but it sounded like Enochian.  She could see flashing lights, hear the sounds of screaming, and see black demons traveling through the air, away from exorcised hosts.  Someone has come to the rescue.  It’ll be okay.  And Ember knew no more.

***Ember POV***

April 9, Afternoon

     Ember was highly uncomfortable with this entire situation.  As it turned out, they had apparently been rescued by a town that was well-versed in demon hunting and killing.  The pastor’s daughter, Leah, was a prophet, and was able to tell the townspeople where and when demons would be coming.  Ember immediately felt uneasy about everything going on in the town, especially Leah.  Her first impression of Leah was of a self-righteous preppy girl Ember had known in high school.  Ember had disliked Anna, but even Anna didn’t make her skin crawl quite the way Leah did.  Still, Leah seemed nice enough.  She already knew about Sam, Dean, and Ember, and welcomed them excitedly to the town.  Therefore, despite her misgivings, Ember attempted to prolong judgment of Leah for the time being.

     That afternoon, Leah had another vision of demons on the outside of town.  Reluctantly, Ember set off with the brothers and a group of townspeople to hunt and kill some of the demon stragglers from the previous night.  Ember’s head hadn’t fully recovered from the exhaustion of the previous night, but even so the townspeople won the fight by a landslide – there weren’t many demons left.  Unfortunately, one of the demons hid and managed to kill Dylan, one of the younger men in the town, while he was having a celebratory beer with Sam and Dean.  At this, Ember’s uneasy feeling increased.

     Ember could tell by Dean’s face at the funeral that he blamed himself for the young man’s death.  It didn’t help that the boys’ mother, Jane, blamed Dean as well.  “Why don’t we get the hell out of here?” Ember whispered to Dean as everyone gathered for the funeral.  “This town can take care of itself.  What are we still doing here?”

     Dean nodded, and said stonily, “Fine.  After the funeral, we’ll leave.”

     In the middle of the funeral, however, Leah had yet another vision.  “You’ll see Dylan again,” she told the congregation.  “When the final day comes, Judgment Day, he’ll be resurrected, and you’ll be together again.  We’ll all be together again, with all our loved ones.  We’ve been chosen.  The angels have chosen us.  And we will be given paradise on Earth.  All we have to do is follow the angels’ commandments.”  Ember looked at Dean to see if he shared her skepticism, but he was listening raptly.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex?” Sam commented after Leah’s explanation of her vision at the funeral service.  “Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality.”

     “Well, whatever,” Dean said.  “When in Rome.”

     “Are you kidding me?”  Ember asked.  “You realize that means we can’t have sex until we leave town, right?  All the more reason to do so.”

     “I don’t know, maybe they know something here that we don’t,” Dean said.

     Both Sam and Ember looked at Dean in shock.  “So… uh… you’re cool with it?” Sam asked.

     “I’m not cool,” Dean said.  “I’m not not cool.  Look, man, I’m not a prophet.  We’re not locals.  It’s not my call.”  Ember caught Sam’s eye, and noted that he looked as surprised as she felt.  “Look, I’ll catch up with you,” Dean said, and made a hasty exit.

     Sam looked at Ember with his eyebrows raised.  “Does any of this seem weird to you?” he asked.

     “Áll of this seems weird to me,” said Ember.  “I’ve never heard any angels, or Chuck, say anything about outlawing drinking, gambling, or premarital sex.”

     “I guess that means we’re not leaving town then?”

     “I guess so,” Ember replied, resigned.

***Dean POV***

April 9, Night

     Dean spent much of the afternoon lounging on the motel bed, thinking.  Recently, through a long and elaborate turn of events, he had found out for certain from the angel Joshua that God didn’t really care about the apocalypse.  This had been his last hope, he was ashamed to admit.  For all his talk about “Team Free Will”, he honestly didn’t see what the four of them (Sam, Ember, Castiel, and himself) could do to save the Earth from a prize fight between Heaven and Hell.  He was becoming increasingly convinced that he was simply putting off the inevitable.

     What would become of Ember, and Sam, if the apocalypse continued in this direction?  He realized that he had been relying on Ember’s powers for some time now, far more than he should have.  He had been terrified when she had passed out after fighting the demons the previous night.  And if demons were coming in armies of 50 or more, they were clearly becoming wise to her powers.  Also, Lucifer clearly no longer had “important plans” that were worth keeping Ember alive.  Castiel was right, Dean thought.  Lucifer hadn’t expected Ember to “hunger” for killing demons.  They had been lucky last night – they wouldn’t always have a town with a prophet to save them at the last possible second.

     When was the Apocalypse going to end?  Dean went through several possible courses of action, but they all ended in death, particularly for the people he cared about.  There was only one course of action he could see that would guarantee their safety.  He could make a deal with Michael, for the safety of Sam, Ember, and Bobby.  Maybe he could even barter some legs back for his surrogate father in the process.  And maybe – just maybe – he could survive the Apocalypse, and come back to them in the end.  “Unlike my brothers, I won’t leave you a drooling mess when I’m done wearing you.”  It was the only way he could see that the three of them, particularly Sam and Ember, could ever truly be safe.

     He had almost made up his mind to pray to Michael when Sam and Ember came through the door.  “Where have you been?” Dean asked.

     “Drinkin’,” Sam said casually.

     “You rebel,” said Dean sarcastically.

     “I’d’ve had more, but it was curfew,” Sam said.

     “Right,” Dean said, noncommittally.  His mind was still on other things.

     “Did you hear they shut down the cell towers?” Sam asked, and Dean forced himself to focus.

     “That’s news to me,” he said.

     “No cable, no internet.  Total cutoff from the ‘corruption of the outside world.’”

     “Huh,” Dean said, his mind still elsewhere.

     He saw, but ignored, Sam and Ember exchanging a significant glance.

     “Don’t you get it?” Sam asked.  “They’re turning this place into some kind of fundamentalist compound.”

     “No, I get it,” Dean said.  Who cared?  Who cared, in the end.

     Dean saw Sam and Ember exchange glances again.  “And?” Ember asked.

     “What’s wrong with you?” Sam asked.

     “I get it, I just don’t care,” Dean answered.

     “What?” Ember and Sam said together.

     “What difference does it make?” Dean asked.

     Sam and Ember both started talking at once.

     “It makes a hell of a-…” Sam started.

     “Dean, you can’t possibly-…” said Ember, and both of them stopped.

     Sam started the conversation over.  “At what point does this become too far for you?  Stoning?  Poisoned cool-aid?”

     “Have you ever heard of The Crucible?”  Ember asked him.  “Salem witch trials?”

     “The angels are toying with these people,” Sam added.

     Dean shrugged.  “Angel world, angel rules, man.”

     “And since when is that okay with you?” Sam asked.

     “Since the angels have the only lifeboats on the Titanic,” Dean answered.  “I mean, who exactly is supposed to come along and save these people?  It was supposed to be us.  We can’t do it.”

     Ember and Sam exchanged the most significant look yet.  “So what, you want to just stop fighting, roll over?” Sam asked.

     “I don’t know,” Dean said.  “Maybe.”

     “Don’t say that,” Sam said.

     Ember screamed, “Hell no!”

     “Why not?” Dean asked.

     “Because you can’t do this!” Sam protested.

     “Actually, I can!” said Dean.

     “No, you can’t,” Sam said.  “You can’t do this to me.  I’ve got one thing – one thing – keeping me going.  You think you’re the only one white-knuckling it here, Dean?  I can’t count on anyone else!  And I can’t do this alone.”

     “Dean, what the hell am I gonna do without you?” asked Ember.  “And I’m not talking about in a clingy girlfriend kind of way.  Do you know how horrible it was for me, waiting back at home for the two of you when Lucifer was set free?”

     Dean saw Sam flinch at this, and knew that his brother still felt guilty for the debacle.

     “Dean, we go out fighting, and we fight together, or not at all!” Ember continued.

     Dean put down the cup of water he was holding and turned to leave.

     “Dean-…” Ember shouted after him.

     “I gotta clear my head,” he said by way of explanation, and left.

***Ember POV***

April 10, Early Morning

     After Dean left, Sam and Ember wasted no time in calling Castiel.  Castiel was extremely drunk, however fortunately he still had some answers.  “The names of all of the prophets are seared into my brain,” Castiel told them.  “Leah Gideon is not one of them.”

     “Thank God,” Ember said.

     Castiel and Sam looked at her curiously.

     “Well, no angel I know has ever condemned premarital sex before,” Ember said.  “I just wanted to make sure that wasn’t some new thing I had to abide by to get into Heaven.”

     “There is no rule in Heaven about pre-marital sex,” Castiel said, confused.  Sam just laughed and rolled his eyes.

     Dean returned early the next morning, his hands bloody, with even more clues.  “Paul’s dead,” Dean said, referring to the town bartender.  “Jane shot him.”

     “Dylan’s mother?” Ember confirmed.  “I never did like her.”

     “It’s starting,” Castiel said.

     “What’s starting?” Dean asked.  “Where the hell have you been?”

     “On a bender,” Castiel replied.

     “Did he – did you just say ‘on a bender?’”

     “Yeah.  He’s still pretty smashed,” Sam replied.

     “It is not of import,” Castiel said drunkenly.  “We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

     “Well, I’m all ears,” said Dean.

     “Well, for starters,” Sam said, “Leah is not a real prophet.”

     “So therefore, we can go back to premarital sex and gambling,” Ember clarified.  “Drinking is still outlawed by angels though.”  Ember couldn’t help but smile as she said it, taking a drink of lemonade to hide her smirk.

     “Nice try,” Dean said.  “You might have even fooled me if you weren’t sitting next to a drunk angel.  What is she, exactly?”

     “The Whore,” said Castiel. 

     Ember choked on the lemonade.  “Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think,” said Dean.

     “She rises when Lucifer walks the Earth,” said Castiel, reading from an old scripture book.  “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.”  He tapped the page.  “This creature has the power to take on a human’s form, and read minds.  The book of revelations calls her the ‘Whore of Babylon.’”

     “Well, that’s catchy,” said Dean.

     “The real Leah was probably killed months ago,” said Sam.

     “Wait a second,” said Ember.  “Wouldn’t I have known?  I can see demons for what they really look like, and I can recognize an angel in human form.”

     Castiel shook his head.  “She is made to imitate a prophet, which is a human,” said Castiel.  “There was no way you could’ve known.”

     “What about the demons attacking the town?” Dean asked.

     “They’re under her control,” said Castiel.

     “And the Enochian exorcism?” Dean asked.

     “Fake,” Castiel said.  “It actually means, ‘You breed with the mouth of a goat.’”  Dean raised his eyebrows at Castiel, who added, “It’s funnier in Enochian.”

     “So the demons smoking out – that’s just a con?” Dean asked.

     “Joke’s on them,” Ember added.  “Leah surely had to know I’d kill most of those demons without their fake Enochian exorcism.”

     “Demons throwing each other under the bus is nothing new,” Castiel said, “And she’s stronger than all of them.”

     “Great,” Ember said.

     “So what’s the endgame?” asked Dean.

     “What you just saw,” Castiel said.  “Innocent blood spilled in God’s name.”

     “You heard all that Heaven talk,” Sam said.  “She manipulates people.”

     “To slaughter and kill, and sing peppy little hymns,” Dean said.  “Awesome.”

     “Her goal is to condemn as many souls to Hell as possible,” Castiel said.  “And it’s just beginning.  She’s well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit.”

     “Alright,” Dean said, “Then how to we go ‘Pimp of Babylon’ all over this bitch?”

     Ember grinned up at Dean.  She loved his sarcasm sometimes. 

     Castiel disappeared, but reappeared a second later.  “The Whore can be killed with that,” he said, placing a long branch on the table.  “It’s a stake made from a Cyprus tree in Babylon.”

     “Great,” Dean said, “Let’s ventilate her.”

     “It’s not that easy,” Castiel said.

     “Of course not,” replied Dean, and Ember groaned.

     “The Whore can only be killed by a true servant of Heaven,” Castiel said. 

     “Servant like…”

     “Not you,” Castiel said.  “Or me.  Ember’s half demon.  Sam, of course, is an abomination.  We’ll have to find someone else.”

***Dean POV***

April 10, Early Evening

     Ultimately, “Team Free Will” – Ember, Castiel, Dean, and Sam – were able to convince the pastor to kill his daughter, the Whore.  He knew, deep down, that it wasn’t really his daughter, and that this creature was bad news. 

     The fight didn’t start off on the best foot, however.  Castiel moved to hold the Whore and the pastor came forward with the Cyprus tree branch, but the Whore was ready for him.  “Pizin noco iad.”  It was an Enochian chant of some sort, and Dean watched Castiel buckle and let go of Leah.  Leah then threw the pastor backward into the wall.

     Before she could toss Sam and Dean, however, Ember hit her with a blast of power.  “Don’t even think about it,” she screamed, but Ember and the Whore seemed to be evenly matched.

     Instead of continuing to fight Ember, Leah ran into the other room, where several of the congregation were making plans to hurt other members of the congregation.  Apparently, Leah had told them that tonight was “Judgment Day,” and that they had to prove themselves to the angels by burning some of the “sinners.”

     The pastor took off after Leah.  “Wait!  No!” Sam yelled, and he, Dean, and Ember sprinted after both of them.

     “Help me!” Leah yelled to her followers.  “He’s a demon!”  Two of Leah’s followers attacked the pastor, and Dean and Sam joined the fight as well.  “Light the kerosene,” Leah told Dylan’s parents, and Ember hit her with another wave of force power.

     Sam freed himself from his opponent and launched himself into Dylan’s father just as he began to light a match.  Dean also freed himself from his opponent, and looked around in time to see Ember’s nose start to bleed, still making the effort to hold Leah back.

     Leah withdrew her force powers from Ember abruptly and side-stepped, and Ember collapsed to the floor in surprise due to the lack of resistance, like when an opponent suddenly lets go during a tug-of-war game.  Dean made toward the Whore, but she knocked him downward and climbed on top of him.  Ember recovered and made to grab for the Cyprus stick, but the Whore stuck out her hand and held Ember back, stopping her in her tracks.

     The Cyprus stick was so close… Dean could reach it if he only stuck out his arm, but the Whore was trying to choke him.  She saw the direction of his eyes, and laughed at him.  “Please.  Like you’re a servant of Heaven.  This is why my team’s gonna win.  You’re the great vessel?  You’re pathetic, self-hating, and faithless.  It’s the end of the world, and you’re just gonna sit back and watch it happen.”

     It happened at the same time:  Ember pushed the Whore off of Dean with her force powers, and Dean grabbed the Cyprus stick and stabbed it through the Whore.  It was over quickly:  she rolled over, and the hole in her belly spit out sparks, and finally she was no more.

     Five minutes later, Dean half-carried Castiel out the door, while Sam half-carried the pastor.  “Dean, how did you do that?” Sam asked.

     “What?” Dean asked, though he already knew the answer.

     “Kill her,” Sam answered.

     “Long run of luck held out, I guess,” Dean said, avoiding the question.

     “Last I checked,” said Sam, glancing quickly at Ember, “She could only be ganked by a servant of Heaven.”

     “Well, what do you want me to tell you?” Dean asked.  “I saw a shot, I went for it.”

     “Normally I’d be happy at your discovery of self-worth,” Ember said, bringing up the rear.  “But you’re scaring the hell out of me, Dean.”

     Now back at the Impala, Sam and Dean helped their respective partners into the back seat.  “Are you going to do anything stupid?” Sam demanded.

     Depends on your definition of stupid.  “Like what?” Dean demanded, glancing at Sam over the top of the car.

     “Like Michael stupid.”

     I wouldn’t tell you first if I was.  “Come on, Sam.  Give me a break!”

     But he knew neither Sam nor Ember believed his answer.

     A few minutes later, when he knew Sam and Ember were involved in caring for Castiel and the pastor, Dean attempted to make his escape.

     “Where you goin?” asked Sam.

     “I’m just gonna grab some clean bandages out of the trunk,” Dean promised.  “Relax.”

     But when he had no sooner started the Impala than Ember materialized in the passenger seat.  With a sinking heart, he realized she must’ve turned invisible, followed him out the door, and slid in before him.  “Don’t even think about it,” she said, using her powers to freeze him in place.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

April 15, Night

     It was less than a week later, and not much had changed.  Dean had been locked in Bobby’s panic room for much of the previous five days, after admitting that his plan was to agree to become Michael’s vessel.  He had even somehow managed to banish Castiel and break out of the panic room.  It hadn’t been Ember who had found him and brought him back, but Castiel, who had returned staggering inside half-carrying a very bloody Dean Winchester.      

     “What happened to him?” Bobby said with surprise.

     “Me,” Castiel answered. 

     “Good,” Ember said, rolling her eyes, and nobody commented further.

     To make matters worse, the angels had brought back the third Winchester brother, Adam, from the dead.  Adam reported that Zachariah had offered him a chance to be Michael’s vessel as well, and he had accepted because Zachariah had promised him that he would be reunited with his dead mother.

      “What do you think,” Sam asked Ember, Bobby, and Castiel late that night.  “Do you think they’ve given up on Dean, or they’re just using him as bait?”

     “Bait, definitely,” said Ember.

     “Yeah, I think so too,” Bobby said. 

     “I’m out of ideas,” said Castiel.  “How about you three?”’

     There was silence.  Ember sighed.  “I’ve got one,” she said, “but it’s… terrible, frankly.”

     “Well, let’s hear it,” Bobby said.

     “Well, we can’t storm the gates, right?  We know where Zachariah is holding Adam, but we need all the help we can get to break him out.”

     “Right,” said Castiel.

     “Dean would be the most helpful in storming the gates, because they won’t try to kill him.  But we can’t get any help from Dean, because if he gets inside he’ll simply offer himself up as a sacrifice, right?”

     “Right,” said Sam.

     “So… reverse psychology.”

     “What?” asked all three men together.

     “Reverse psychology.  You know… pretend we have faith in Dean to continue to turn Michael down.  Lay it on really thick.  Sam, you could use lines like, ‘You’re still my big brother.  When push comes to shove, you’ll make the right decision.’  And I’ll use lines like, ‘You’re smart enough to know that it’ll make Sam and I feel guilty for the rest of our lives if you do this.’  You know, crap like that.”

     Sam appeared to mull the idea over for a bit.  “You know, that’s not a bad idea.”

     “It’s a terrible idea,” Castiel said.  “But it’s the best we’ve got.”

     Bobby sighed.  “So we’re going to attempt to convince Dean to continue refusing Michael by playing on his sense of guilt, then ask him to help us break out Adam?”

     “I’m all ears if you have a better plan,” Ember said.

     Bobby sighed.  “Well, I guess it’s a good thing Dean’s got a lot of guilt.”

***Dean POV***

April 16, Day

     Dean Winchester was positive that Ember and Sam had lost their minds.  If it had been him – if it had been any sane person – they’d’ve kept him in the panic room.  The two of them allowing him to go help break Adam out of the angel room was ludicrous.  They trusted him to make the right decision?  Didn’t they understand he planned to turn himself in to Michael?

     Even as he thought this, though, he wondered if he was doing it for the wrong reasons.  When Sam had talked to him about his decision to turn himself in to Michael the day before, Dean had come up with a load of crap about not trusting Sam.  “I don’t know whether it’s gonna be demon blood, or some other demon chick, or what, but… I do know they’re gonna find a way to turn you.”  At the time, he’d thought he’d been over Sam’s actions from a year ago, and that he’d just said what he’d said to get Sam to leave him alone or even stomp off in a huff and let him out of the panic room.  Now, he wondered how much of his desire to turn himself over to Michael was because he didn’t trust Sam, versus how much of it was really a desire to save Sam, Ember, and the universe as a whole.  But weren’t they the same thing? 

     And how angry would he be if Sam or Ember had taken the sacrifice route?  Hadn’t all of this trouble started in the first place because Dean had sacrificed himself for Sam and gotten himself sent to Hell?  Dean had been so sure of his actions yesterday, but Sam’s belief in him had shaken him.

     Once they had been “Team Free Will” – “one ex blood junkie, one drop out with six bucks to his name, a half demon, and Mr. Comatose.” Dean remembered calling them this one time early in the Apocalypse, when Castiel had rebelled against the angels and paid the price.  Dean smiled at the memory fondly.

     Now, “Team Free Will” (if they could still call themselves that) walked slowly toward the abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California, where Adam was being held by the angels.  “There are at least five angels in there,” Castiel said.

     “So?” Dean said.  “You’re fast.”  He still bore the scars from the angel’s beating the previous evening.

     “They’re faster,” said Castiel.  He sighed.  “I’ll clear them out.  Ember, you can help, like we discussed last night.  You two grab the boy.  This is our only chance.”

     “Whoa, wait,” said Dean.  “You’re gonna take on 5 angels?”

     “Yes,” said Castiel.

     “Isn’t that suicide?” asked Dean.

     “Maybe it is,” said Castiel.  “But then I won’t have to watch you fail.”

     Dean’s heart sank a little further.  When he’d first decided to agree to Michael, he hadn’t realized it would mean letting his friends down quite this much.  “I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel said.  “I don’t have the same faith in you that Sam and Ember do.”

     There was that faith again, the unwavering faith of his brother and his girlfriend.  Dean watched, his heart full of guilt, as his best friend carved a banishing sigil into his own chest so that he could banish as many angels as possible, including himself. 

     He watched with guilt as his girlfriend and his best friend fought the four angels guarding the door to the room where Adam was being held, but his girlfriend was stopped by specific warding on the door to the room, and only Sam and Dean could pass.

     He realized, full of guilt, that the whole thing had been a trap to get him to the room where Adam was being held, and that Adam had been used as bait.

     He watched with guilt as Zachariah tortured his two brothers, and his girlfriend watched, unable to help, from outside, through a glass wall that Zachariah had created.

     Fuck Zachariah.  Fuck all the angels, except for Cas, who may be dead.

     So in the end, perhaps Sam and Ember were right to have faith in him.  He had been right in the first place.  He would kill demons, and angels, and everything that came in his path, for family and for free will.  And he started with Zachariah, with an angel blade through the face.

     But the room was shaking, and Michael was coming, and Sam and Dean were hurrying through the door, and somehow, in the end, Adam was still too slow.  The door shut on him and turned white-hot.  When Dean was able to open the door again, it was no longer a beautiful room containing a dead angel, but simply the abandoned office of the abandoned muffler factory.

***Dean POV***

May 5, Day

     After Adam disappeared with the angels, things seemed to happen much faster in regards to the Apocalypse.  Near the end of April, the angel Gabriel fought Lucifer and was killed, but he left Sam and Dean with information:  “Without me, you’ve got zero shot at killing Lucifer.  Sorry.  But, you can trap him.  The cage you sprung Lucifer from is still down there.  And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in.

     “Not that it’ll be easy.  You gotta get the cage open, trick my bro back into it, and uh – oh yeah – avoid Michael and the God squad.  But hey – details, right?

     “And here’s the big secret,” Gabriel continued.  “Lucifer himself doesn’t even know.  But the key to the cage – it’s out there.  Actually, it’s keys - plural.  Well, four rings.  From the Horsemen.  You get them all, you got the cage.”

     And so they had their plan.  The group had already obtained the rings belonging to War and Famine, so they already had half of what they needed.  Thanks (ironically) to the demon Crowley, by the end of April the brothers were also able to nail down a location for Pestilence, one of the two remaining Horsemen.

     Finally, at the beginning of May, Sam approached Dean with a proposition.

     “Assuming we do get all of the rings,” Sam said one afternoon on the way to Bobby’s, “How the hell are we going to trick Lucifer into the cage?”

     Dean looked at Ember in the back seat, who met his eye, but said nothing.

     “No idea,” Dean responded to his brother.  “But we’ll think of something.”  Worst case scenario, Sam could drink demon blood, and between Sam, Ember, and Crowley, perhaps they could get the job done.  He wasn’t going to suggest that idea, though.

     “Well, I’ve got an idea,” Sam said.

     “Go on,” said Dean with trepidation, pulling into Bobby’s in South Dakota.

     “Now don’t get mad, Dean-…”

     “No.  No, you are not about to suggest that you let Lucifer wear you to the prom,” Dean said, growing increasingly irritable.  He slammed the door to the Impala and walked up to Bobby’s, Sam and Ember in his wake.

     “Well, I was just thinking that sometimes people can resist possession, like that demon Julia last year who exorcised the demon after she had Jesse-…”

     “Yeah, after nine months!” exclaimed Ember.  “Sam, that’s a ridiculous idea!”

     “She’s right,” Dean said.  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

     “Dean-…”

     “No, don’t ‘Dean’ me!  I mean, you have had some stupid ideas in the past, but this – Did you know about this?” Dean asked, looking at Bobby.

     “What?” Bobby asked.

     “About Sam’s genius plan to say yes to the devil?”

     Bobby looked downward, and Ember admonished, “Bobby!  Why didn’t you call us?”

     “Well thanks for the head’s up!” Dean yelled at him.

     “Hey, this ain’t about me,” Bobby defended.

     “You can’t do this,” Dean told Sam fiercely.

     “That’s the consensus,” Sam said, noncommittally.

     “And you promised you wouldn’t do it unless we agreed,” Ember told Sam.  “You promised.”

     Sam nodded.

     “Alright, awesome!” Dean said.  “End of discussion.”

     It was the end of the discussion, because at that moment Castiel called.  It was the first time the group had heard from him since he had been banished with the other angels in California, so Dean was glad to learn that he was okay.  

     The day after that, “Team Free Will” got the ring from Pestilence.  It was a close battle, with Castiel being still very weak, and Pestilence spreading disease everywhere, but in the end it was still successful, and they were one more Horseman’s ring closer to ending the Apocalypse.

***Ember POV***

May 7, Day

     The next day, the group met up again at Bobby’s to regroup.  It was at this point that Bobby told them that Chicago was “about to be wiped off the map.  Storm of the millenium.  Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters.  Three million people are gonna die.”

     “Huh,” said Dean nonchalantly.  He had driven most of the night and was half-asleep.

     “Lovely,” said Ember, rolling her eyes.  They were all feeling a bit worse for wear by now.  They had really hoped to get some sleep before going out again.

     “Well, Death – the Horseman – he’s gonna be there,” Bobby said.  “And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, and get his ring back…”

     “Yeah,” Dean said, “You make it sound so easy!”

     “Hell, I’m just trying to put a spin on it,” said Bobby.

     “Bobby’, how’d you put this all together, anyways?” asked Sam.

     “I had… you know… help,” said Bobby evasively.

     Ember narrowed her eyes.  Suddenly Ember heard the chink of glass behind her, and realized that Crowley had appeared in the room.  “Don’t be so modest,” he said, pouring himself some whiskey.  “I barely helped at all.”

     “Bobby!” Ember admonished him. 

     Bobby rolled his eyes.  “Hello, boys,” Crowley said.  “Half-demon.”  He nodded at Ember.

     “Bite me,” she said.

     “Pleasure, et. cetera,” he said, ignoring her.  “Go ahead.  Tell them,” he prompted Bobby.  “There’s no shame in it.”

     “Bobby?” said Sam in a warning voice.  “Tell us what?”

     Bobby took a long time to answer, shooting Ember a guilty look first.  “Bobby, you didn’t!” Ember said, jumping up.

     “World’s gonna end,” Bobby said, shrugging.  “Seems stupid to get all precious over one little… soul.”

     “You sold your soul?!” Dean asked him aggressively, and Castiel gave them all a look of frustration.

     “Oh, more like pawned it,” Crowley said.  “I fully intend to give it back.”

     “Then give it back!” Ember and Dean shouted at the same time.  Ember’s anger at her father was rising.  Dean had talked about his father selling his soul to save Dean, but Bobby had promised her once that he’d never do the same thing.

     “I will,” Crowley said.

     “Now!” Dean yelled.

     “I swear to God, I’ll kill you,” Ember threatened him.

     “Did you kiss him?” Sam interrupted.

     Bobby looked arrested.  “No!” he exclaimed, but Crowley had a picture showing otherwise.

     “Why’d you have to take a picture?” Bobby asked.

     “Why’d you have to use tongue?” was the demon’s response.

     There was silence in the room for a second, before Ember said, “This is ridiculous.  I’ll kill you,” and she jumped up.

     “Uh-uh-uh,” said Crowley.  “That won’t get his soul back.  Relax, I’m just keeping it as insurance.”

     “What are you talking about?” asked Dean.

     “You kill demons,” Crowley said.  “Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it.”
 He nodded at Sam, then at Ember.  “And you’ve got a half demon with a Heaven complex over there that won’t hesitate to kill me just to free my host the moment I’m no longer useful,” he added.  “But you won’t kill me… as long as I have that soul in the deposit box.”

     “You son of a bitch,” Bobby grumbled.

     “’I’ll return it,” Crowley said, “After all this is over, and I can walk safely away.  Do we all understand each other?”

     Ember straightened herself, and shot at Crowley with her force powers, knocking him backward against the wall. Though he could heal easily, it helped her get her anger out.  “Remember this morning,” Ember said, glaring at Bobby, “When we were all worried about the Apocalypse, and none of us were worried about going to Hell?”  Then she stormed out of the room.

***Ember POV***

May 11, Day

     Ember took a nice long shower.  By the time she got out, the Winchesters and Crowley had gathered even more news.  The same day that Death was due to arrive in Chicago, the Croatoan virus was scheduled to distribute in the form of vaccines simultaneously to civilians.  The scheduled date was nearly a week away, but the week went quickly as they rested, gathered ammunition, and prepared. 

     Castiel spent the week of preparation with them, which was both good and bad.  It was bad, because the reason for his stay with them was that Heaven had stripped his powers and he was nearly entirely human.  It was good, because it allowed them to pick his brain about Heaven, Hell, and everything in between.  Ember also enjoyed spending time with Castiel, which was something she’d never really had an opportunity to do before.

     Two days before the date they would arrive in Chicago, Ember and Castiel spent most of the day together for the first time ever.  Bobby, Dean, and Sam had left on a long trip to go get ammunition, and weren’t back for nearly 7 hours.  Castiel and Ember practiced their shooting and sparring, but took several long breaks to relax.

     “Can I ask you a question?” Ember asked Castiel over sandwiches in Bobby’s office.

     “Shoot,” he answered.

     “How human are you, exactly?”

     “I’m still entirely angel,” Castiel said.  “Just without most of my powers.  I’m cut off from Heaven, I’ve lost the ability to fly, and I’ve lost most of my power.”

     “Do you… do you still feel my demon attraction?” Ember asked.  She wondered if this question was too personal, but she was also very curious.

     “Yes,” he said, not looking at her.

     “Oh,” Ember said, shifting awkwardly.

     “I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable,” Castiel said in his low voice.

     “It’s okay,” Ember said.  “I am who I am.”

     “It’s… never mind,” said Castiel, looking away.

     “What?” Ember asked.

     “It doesn’t matter,” said Castiel.  “I’m just… I feel like I’m a burden here.”

     “Castiel, you could never be a burden,” Ember replied, turning in her chair to look at him.

     “How?” he asked.  “I’m not as strong as you anymore.  I’m not as good at fighting as Dean or Sam.  I can barely shoot a gun.  How am I helpful?”

     “Are you kidding?  You’re still as strong as the average demon,” Ember said.  “And it’s not like our lives are chalk full of friends,” she added.

     “What do you mean?” he asked.

     She laughed.  “Humans need more than just the same two or three people every day to make them feel like they’re worthwhile,” she said.  “Sam, Dean, and I… we’ve cut almost all of our friends out of our lives.  I get to see my Mom, and Mike once in awhile, but… it’s too dangerous for me to see anyone else.  You’re a friend, Cas… and that means more to Sam, Dean, and I than they’ll ever be willing to tell you.”

     He looked at her with a smile on his face, for the first time since he’d returned from the fight with the angels nearly a month ago.  “Are you sure?” he asked.

     “Yeah, I’m sure,” she told him.

***Ember POV***

May 13, Night

     The five of them (Bobby, Castiel, Ember, Sam, and Dean) had made the trip to Chicago.  They’d decided to go in two groups – Dean, Crowley, and Ember would face off with Death, and the other three would stop the distribution of the Croatoan virus.  They’d been delighted to find out, shortly before they went their separate ways, that Crowley’s deal with Bobby had come with the perks of him getting his legs back, at least for the time being.  Although Ember was irritated with Crowley for not mentioning this to Bobby sooner, she also thought that it was beautiful to see her father take his first steps again.  It was a fitting end, almost, since she and Dean were almost certainly going to die that night.

     Apparently Dean was thinking the same thing.  “Sammy, are you sure you don’t want Ember on your team?  Last chance, you know…”

     “Dean,” she admonished.

     “I mean, don’t you think you’re going to need the extra-…” Sam began.

     “Dean will need her,” Castiel said.  “Having her come with us would be a waste of her powers.  The three of us should be able to handle the demons doing the distribution.”

     This was the truthful answer to the question, and everyone knew it.  “Thanks Cas,” Ember said.

     “Yeah, thanks, Cas,” Dean said sarcastically.  Ember knew Dean had wanted her to go with the other group because she’d have a better chance of survival, not because he wouldn’t need her.  Thankfully, Castiel hadn’t picked up on this.

     Ultimately, the groups remained the same, and everyone said heartfelt good-byes.  And then they were off.

     Ember didn’t remain at Dean’s side for long, though.  When they found Death, he was in a pizza parlor in Chicago.  He barely looked at either Dean or Ember as he invited them to sit down for pizza.

     “Hmmmm,” he said, studying her closely.  “You’ve really made Lucifer angry.”

     “I… I guess so,” she said.  Was he going to kill her?  Why wasn’t he making a move?  Why was he just staring at her, the way a human would stare at a particularly interesting bug specimen?

     “You don’t need to try quite so hard, you know,” Death said.  “You’ll get into Heaven regardless, at this point.”  Then he seemed to study her for another minute, his dark eyes boring into hers.  She could feel Dean’s hand around hers, and knew that his other hand was on his gun, poised to strike, poised to do anything-…”

     “Too much of a bleeding heart,” Death said finally.  “Be gone.”  He waved his hand, and the next thing Ember knew, she was sitting on Bobby’s couch, roaring with anger.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

May 15, Morning

     Shhtttt click.  Shhtttt click.  Ember looked at the clock in her room at Bobby’s house.  It was 5:45 AM, and the light was just beginning to peak through the window.  Dean was sitting at her small desk, playing with the four rings he had obtained from all of the Horsemen.  He had made a deal with Death for the fourth ring, but at a price, he said:  He had promised to allow Sam to become Lucifer’s vessel.

     “Dean,” Ember said.  “You just finally got home four hours ago.  Come to bed.”

     “Did,” he said, “Couldn’t sleep.”

     Reluctantly, Ember padded over and put her arms around her boyfriends’ neck, kissing him softly.

     “Ember?” he asked her quietly.

     “Hmm?”

     “Can I ask you something?”

     “Of course,” she said.  Truthfully, now that she was awake, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep either.  The thought that Dean had lied to Death was terrifying, and the thoughts that Sam would dump himself into the pit – or would agree to become Lucifer’s vessel and then wouldn’t dump himself into the pit – were equally as terrifying.

     “If it wasn’t Sammy,” Dean said, “If it was… was anyone else… would you tell them to go for it?  Would you let them jump into the pit?”

     Ember sighed.  “Dean… If it wasn’t Sammy, I wouldn’t trust them to even try.”

     “You trust Sam?” Dean asked.

     “Yeah, I do,” Ember said.  “He’s not who he was a year ago, with Ruby.  He’s… he’s desperate for redemption, though.  He’ll do anything to prove himself to you, and to Bobby.”

     “He doesn’t have to,” Dean said.  “Not anymore.”

     “Yeah, I know,” said Ember.

     They were silent for awhile, before Dean finally said, “Considering that it’s… you know, the end of the world.  And if it wasn’t Sam we were discussing… what would you say to him jumping into the pit?”

     Ember sighed again.  “You want to know what I think, from a logical standpoint.”

     “Yes,” Dean whispered.

     “You already know the answer to that,” she told him, squeezing his hand.  “Dean, it’s the only thing that makes sense.  Ultimately Adam and Lucifer – in whatever vessel – will face off.  Honestly I don’t know what they’re waiting for… I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already.”

     “The only thing I can think is that Lucifer is waiting for Sam,” Dean said.

     “Yeah, I agree,” Ember said.  “But he’s causing a hell of a lot of death in the meantime.”

     “Exactly,” Dean said.  He paused again.  “So you’re saying I have to choose between my brother… and the rest of the world?”

     Ember sighed again.  “Dean, it’s not your choice.  And I hate it – I absolutely despise it, and I’d give anything to find another way, but… it’s Sam’s choice, in the end.  And we both know what choice you would make, if it were you.”

     “That’s what I was afraid of,” said Dean.

     Ember and Dean said nothing for a long time

***Ember POV***

May 16, Day

     “Ember, wake up,” Dean said quietly into Ember’s ear.

     Ember awoke with a start.  Today was the day.  Today was the day Sam sought out Lucifer.  She looked at her alarm; it was nearly 8:00!  “Dean, what the hell!”  Ember looked down at her alarm.  “What the hell is wrong with this thing?  I know I set it for 6 this morning… Dean, why didn’t you wake me?”

     It was at that point that Ember noticed that Dean was looking extremely guilty.  “Dean,” she said sharply.  “What did you do?”

     “Look, Ember, it’s just… um, your mother asked me to…”

     “No!” Ember said fiercely.  If her mother had been talking to Dean, it had been to beg him for her to stay away from the final battle.

     Bobby came in at that moment.  “Look, Ember, I can’t help agree with your mother, and I know how hard it is-…”

     “What the hell?” Ember said, fully awake now.  She was furious with both of them.  She knew what they wanted her to do, and there was no way she was going to stay back.  They would need her help, anyway.

     “Ember, do you remember when I was in the hospital?” Dean asked.

     Ember stopped, surprised.  Dean continued.  “You said, ‘Dean, where am I going to go?  I’m in this too.”’

     “Exactly my point,” Ember said, “I’m in this, so you’d better-…”

     “You’re only in this because you’ve had no other choice,” said Dean, and Ember’s words died on her tongue.  “You never wanted to be a hunter.  You did it because it was safer than staying in one place and waiting for the demons to come to you.  It was safer for you, and safer for the people you loved.”

     “Dean, I love you!” she protested, and flinched at how whiny she sounded.

     “And I love you too,” he told her, yelling now.  “I love you enough to let you have a normal life.  Without                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Lucifer, you can go back to therapy, go back to exorcising a low-level demon once every couple of years and having the rest of them leave you alone… you can have the apple pie life that none of the rest of us could ever have!”

     Ember was stunned.  For a very long time now, she had always imagined that if she ever did settle down, it would be with Dean.  “What about you?” she asked.

     He sighed.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “Ember… you know what we plan to do.  There are no guarantees for any of us – me, Bobby, Cas, or Sam.  We might all get ourselves killed fighting Lucifer.”

     “Yeah, and then what the hell am I supposed to do?” she asked.

     “You’re supposed to live,” Bobby said from the doorway.  “Like your mother wants.  Like we want.  Like Sam wants.”

     “And what if I could’ve helped you live?” Ember shouted.

     “You can’t,” said Bobby.  “Lucifer is far more powerful than you… you’re not nearly powerful enough to meet him in battle, but just powerful enough to be a threat to his army,” said Bobby.  “Now that he knows which side you fight for, you’ll be the first one taken out.”

     Ember knew he was right, but that didn’t stop her from insisting.  “You can’t keep me here.  None of you can.”

     “Actually, we can,” said Castiel from the doorway, filing his way inside.

     “What do you mean?” Ember asked, narrowing her eyes.

     “I recreated the warding that was on the door to the room where Adam was being held in the muffler factory,” Castiel told her.  “Your demon powers are strong enough that it’ll keep demons out and you inside.”

     Ember was seething now.  They had planned this out!  They must’ve all gotten up at the crack of dawn to do this warding.  Well, fuck them.  “If you try to keep me in here while you guys go on this suicide mission, I’ll raise this place to the ground, Bobby!” she yelled maniacally at him.

     “Yeah, I thought of that,” said Bobby.  “So most of the place is protected by magic.  But you’re welcome to burn the TV, it’s getting old anyway.”

     “YAAAAHHHHHH!” screamed Ember.  She threw Castiel against a wall, and he hit the wall and slid down it, blood appearing on the side of his head.

     “Cas!” she screamed, leaping after him as soon as he hit the floor.  “Oh my God, Cas, I’m so sorry!  I forgot you weren’t… I forgot, I’m so sorry!”

     Castiel picked himself up off of the floor, dabbing at the blood trickling from his head.  “I probably deserved that for something at some point,” he said casually.

     “Cas, I’m so sorry!” Ember protested.  “I didn’t mean to-… I just thought…”

     “You forgot I don’t have the powers I used to,” Castiel said.  He glared at her, moving his head back and forth slowly.  “I understand.  You are very upset.  But don’t let it happen again.  It hurt.”

     “What’s all the noise?” Sam asked from the doorway.  “Can we get this show on the road?”

     They all looked at each other then, unsure what to do or how to act.  Finally, Ember spoke, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  “If this is my last time seeing everyone…”  She took the sarcasm out of her voice.  “I want to say goodbye to everyone.  Separately.”

     Ember didn’t really want to say goodbye to anyone, but she’d learned at some point that it’s better to say goodbye than to regret not having said it.  She wasn’t prepared for this, and she knew she’d think of a thousand better things to say later.  Still, if there was anything she had learned from Carl, and from Jesse, and from the several other experiences with death and abandonment that she’d had throughout her life, it was that she never, ever wanted to leave (or let others leave) angry.  She was still furious, of course, but she knew she would be more furious later if she didn’t tell them all goodbye now.

     Ember thanked Castiel for everything, and apologized profusely for sending him across the room, even though he had stopped bleeding and promised that he was not in pain.  “I’ll see you again,” he told her, “in Heaven.  I’ll find you.”

     “You’d better,” she told him.  “But not too soon.”

     Ember hugged Bobby good-bye.  “I know you’re not gonna like this,” Bobby told her, “but the truth is I’m happy to die hunting, much happier than I’d’ve been to keep livin’ without legs.”

     Ember hung her head.  “I know, Bobby.  But what about your soul?”

     Bobby shrugged.  “Well, I ain’t goin’ to Hell, not if it’s in a safety deposit box.  Tell you what though, if you’re cravin’ adventure… if I die, I’m gonna come back as a ghost, okay?”

     Ember frowned.  “Bobby, you know you can’t-…”

     “No, I mean, I’m gonna have to.  Just for a little while, just so you and I have time to get my soul back, and then you can know I’ve gone to Heaven.”

     Ember laughed, despite herself.  “Okay, Bobby, you’ve got yourself a deal.  Don’t die, okay?”

     “Well, I’m gonna try,” he said, giving her a long hug.

     “And Bobby?”

     “Yeah?”

     “You know you’re my father, right?  No matter what any demon did.”

     Bobby smiled.  “Yeah, girl, I know.”

     Sam was harder to say good-bye to.

     “Ember, I’m glad I got to talk to you alone,” Sam said.

     Ember didn’t know what to say.  What was there to be said?  With the other three, at least if they died, they would go to a better place, a safe place.  With Sam, they were hoping he ended up in Hell.  What could she possibly say?  “Sam…”

     “Ember, I won’t come back from the pit,” he said.

     She said nothing.

     “You’ve gotta make sure Dean doesn’t come looking for me.”

     “Hell no!” Ember said, surprised.  This had not been the goodbye speech she had anticipated.  “I’m not agreeing to that, and he won’t either!”

     “Ember, he’s gonna need you after I… well, when I’m in the pit,” Sam said.

     “There’s no denying that,” Ember said, “but I will never, never promise to stop looking for you, or to make him stop looking.”

     “I made this mess, and I’m going to clean it up,” Sam insisted.

     “Look, I’ll be there for Dean, but you can’t, can’t make me promise that,” Ember said, finally looking at him.  As she feared, when she looked at him she began to cry.  “Sam, you’re… you’re my best friend.  And I never… I should’ve been able to stop you.  I should’ve killed Ruby when I had the chance, earlier.  I was strong enough.”

     “Ember, this is not your fault, okay?  I just… I want what’s best for Dean.  Consider it a dying man’s wish, okay?  Please!”

     Ember looked at her lap, then up at Sam again.  “Sam, I’ll do anything for you, you know that.  Anything.  But you can’t ask me to do this.  And you can’t ask it of Dean, either.  This is Hell we’re talking about.  And Dean and I will never be happy while we know you’re rotting in there.”

     Sam and Ember stared at each other for a few seconds, eyes narrowed and calculating.  Then, finally, Sam pulled Ember into a long hug.  “I can’t make you promise it,” he said.  “But just… know that it’s what I want.  And it’s what’s best.”

     “Duly noted,” Ember said into Sam’s chest.  Then she added, “Sam, I want you to know, you don’t have to do this.”

     Sam sighed again.  “Yes, I do.”

     “No, listen,” Ember said.  “You don’t have to do this, for redemption, or so that Dean and I think better of you, or-…”

     “I know,” Sam said, stepping back from her.  “I’m doing it because it’s what’s right, and I’m the only one who can.” 

     Ember looked downward, breaking eye contact.  “And you know it too,” Sam added.  He took her into a hug again, and they stayed that way for a few moments.  “Take care of yourself, Ember,” he said, and made to leave the room.

     “Good luck, Sam,” she whispered.

     Dean was the last person to say goodbye to Ember, and the most awkward.  He stood in front of her for a few seconds, unsure of what to say.  “Your mother will be here in a couple of hours,” he told her awkwardly.  

     “Yeah, okay,” she said, still awkwardly.  “Dean, it’s not too late.  I could still go.  You know I’d be-…”

     “Ember,” he said warningly, without looking at her.

     “Fine,” she said irritably, and they went back to standing awkwardly.  Finally, she held her hands out to him and said, “Dean.  Come on.  Talk to me.  It’s me.”

     Dean swallowed, then finally began to speak.  “Look, Ember, if I do make it back… we should get a place together.”

     “What?” Ember asked, surprised.

     “Ember, I wanted you to know,” he said, shuffling his feet again, “that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”

     Ember didn’t know whether to hug him or punch him, but she settled for hugging him and crying.  “I’m sorry Dean,” she said.  “I know you hate… this.”

     “I love you, Ember,” he said into her hair.  “And I… I wanted you to know that this past year has been the best year of my life.  Despite the Apocalypse, despite everything…”  And he held her back, then, to look in her eyes.  “I don’t remember ever being so happy as I have been this last year.”  His voice broke on the end, and he held her closer again.

     “Dean…” Ember whispered.

     They stayed there, hugging, for a long time, until Castiel finally knocked.  “Sorry to interrupt,” Castiel said, “but it’s past time to go.”

     “I know,” Dean said.  “Oh!  Right!”  He shot a glance at Castiel.  “Ember, I was supposed to tell you… if we do succeed, you’ll know immediately.  Castiel thinks the increase in your powers should go back to normal once Lucifer is in the pit.”

     “It’s my best guess,” Castiel said.  “But one of us will call you as soon as we’re able, regardless.”

     Ember nodded, looking again at Dean.

     “I love you, Ember Nelson,” he said, kissing her.

     “I love you too, Dean Winchester,” she said.

     And then they were gone.

***Ember POV***

May 18, Afternoon

     It had been over 48 hours.

     Just under 19 hours after they had left, Dean had called to tell Ember they’d all arrived in Detroit.

     At just over 21 hours, Bobby had called to explain to Ember that the plan hadn’t worked:  Lucifer had known about the rings, and had taken both Sam and the rings and disappeared.  They were on their way back.

     “What if Lucifer comes here?” Ember had asked him.

     “I thought of that,” Castiel said, as Bobby had put him on speaker phone.  “Crowley’s adding angel warding to Bobby’s place as we speak.”

     “Thanks,” said Ember.  She was upset about Sam, and upset about the coming Apocalypse, but at least Dean and Bobby were okay, and she could get some sleep.

     Ember woke up 27 hours after they left, and she and her mother prepared Bobby’s house with food and beer, as two people will for two men who are very deeply upset.

     At 36 hours, Dean called to explain that he’d decided to head toward the final battle anyway.  It was scheduled for noon the following day.

     “Dean, no!” Ember cried into the receiver.  “That’s suicide!”

     “Maybe,” Dean said.  “But I’ve gone to Hell for my brother… trust me, suicide is nothing, in comparison.”  And to tell the truth, Ember had known, all along, that he’d make that decision.

     Starting at 11:30 AM on the day of the final battle, Ember began attempting to walk out of her house.  She knew Castiel was right – she’d know, long before she got a phone call, what had happened with Michael and Lucifer.  The strength of her powers were the only things keeping her inside the warding.  If Lucifer was defeated and her powers went back to normal, the warding would allow her to leave.

     By 12:10, Ember was lying in the doorway to Bobby’s house, tapping her toe rhythmically against the magical barrier, with her mother desperately attempting to distract her by engaging her in conversation.  Finally, Ember felt her toe poke through.  “Mom!” she said excitedly.  “I’m free!”

     Immediately, Ember raced to her car, a blue Cruze that had been housed at Bobby’s for over a year now. 

     “Wait!” her mother screamed after her.

     “Well, come along, then!” Ember exclaimed.

     “Fine,” her mother said quickly.  “We’ll take my car.”

     It was nearly a half hour later of non-stop calling when Castiel finally answered his phone.

     “Dean says to stop calling,” the angel said immediately.  “We’ll meet you back at Bobby’s.”

     “I’m on my way there,” Ember answered.  “I’ll meet up with you in Omaha.”

     “Ember says she’ll meet up with us in Omaha,” Ember heard Castiel say to Dean.

     “Tell her there’s no need, we’ll be home in a few hours!”

     “He said-…” Castiel began.

     “Tell him I don’t care, I’ll meet him in Omaha!” Ember told Castiel.  Without waiting for an answer, she asked, “Is Bobby with you?”

     “He’s in his car,” Castiel answered.  “I brought him back.”

     “What do you mean you brought him-…”

     “I have to hang up the phone,” Castiel said.  “We’ll see you in Omaha.”

     It was another five minutes before Ember was able to reach Bobby, who gave her the rest of the story.  “I’m sorry about Dean,” he said.  “I told him to call you.  He just-…”

     “Doesn’t want to talk about it yet,” Ember filled in.  “Yeah… I know.”

     “I love you, kiddo,” he said, after a pause.

     “I love you too, Bobby.  See you in Omaha.”

     Ember was sad for the loss of Sam.  Truthfully, she was forced to admit, it was the best case scenario.  Dean was alive.  Bobby was alive.  Even Cas was alive.  And now, her life could finally settle down.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

September 24, Day

(One Year Later)

     It had been over a year since Sam had fallen into the pit.

     Ember’s life was no longer dominated by her powers.  She had run into two demons in the past year, and both of them had been exorcised – the normal way, with words.  She still maintained her invisibility, and her “party tricks”, but once more she could no longer move people or animals.

     Dean and Ember had settled down in Lafayette, Indiana.  Ember’s job as a therapist was hard work, and it was stressful, but in a completely non-fatal way.  Dean worked construction during the day, and often spent time with one of the neighbors, who also worked construction, in the evenings.

     Sometimes, it was as though they had never had another life.  They didn’t fear for their lives anymore, and the most exciting thing that had happened since Lucifer falling back into the pit had been the two demons that had come to call.  Ember hadn’t seen Castiel since the downfall of Lucifer, either.  She had tried praying to him, but it was as though he had never existed.

     Ember had only seen Bobby a handful of times in the last year, though they talked often on the phone.  Sometimes, when Dean would become particularly sad, Ember would make up an excuse to visit Bobby.  She knew that sometimes Dean needed to talk to someone who had known him and Sam for a very long time, and he always seemed to leave Bobby’s feeling slightly better.

     Ember had looked for a way to pull Sam out of Hell, in the beginning, but she had reached only dead ends.  With Castiel not answering prayers and Crowley being less than helpful, neither she nor Dean could think of anything further that could be done.  They knew that Bobby was constantly searching through his contacts with other hunters for new leads, as well.  Still, though they never completely gave up, both of them were forced to admit that it was unlikely they would ever get Sam back.  It was as though a giant hole had been blown through their lives, but they filled it the best they could – with work, sex, and the perfect apple pie life.

     And then one day, Sam returned.

***Dean POV***

September 24, Day

     Dean was happy.

     As happy as he could be without Sam, he was.  He had good friends, a good paying job, and an apple pie life. 

     He was even lucky enough to have a woman who understood and supported him.  She knew he had a jar of holy water and a sawed-off under his bed (she kept her revolver under her pillow).  She understood that sometimes he needed to drink too much and talk about Sam (even though she didn’t like the drinking).  She even encouraged him to look for Sam, as though he needed encouraging. 

     In the beginning, they would often spend weekends driving to some other corner of the US to chase a lead, though nothing ever showed any promise.  More recently, however, leads had been fewer and farther between, and then eventually they had become nonexistent.  Dean missed hunting, but he supposed that this was safer.  He’d taken up golf lately, and it at least filled the time.  He was bored, but he also knew that he was lucky – lucky to have Ember, lucky to have a “normal” life, and lucky to be away from the danger that used to plague his existence.

     It was a shock, therefore, when he somehow ended up face to face with Azazel in his garage.  “You can’t outrun your past,” Azazel told him viciously.  It happened so quickly.  Now, after a year of nothing… and just as Dean’s eyes closed, he could’ve sworn he saw Sam again.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     When Dean woke up, he saw Sam immediately.  He was still in the garage he shared with Ember.  This must be Heaven, he thought.  That would be his Heaven – the house he shared with Ember, and Sammy was there, too, and his beloved Impala.

     So why did his chest hurt so much?

     Just as he was contemplating this, Sam stood.  “Hey, Dean.  So, I was expecting… I don’t know… a hug?  Some holy water in the face?  Something.”    

     “So I’m dead?” Dean asked, still confused.  “This is Heaven?”

     For some reason, this made Sam laugh.

     “Yellow eyes killed me, and now-…”

     “Yellow eyes?” Sam asked.  “That’s what you saw?”

     “Saw?” Dean asked.  He was very confused.

     “You were poisoned,” Sam explained.  “So whatever kind of crazy crap you think you’ve been seeing, it’s not real.”

     Now Dean was really confused.  Was this his subconscious attempting to warn him that he’d been poisoned?  “So, then, are you… real?  Or am I still-…”

     “I’m real,” Sam said.  “Here, let me save you the trouble.”  Sam got out his silver knife and sliced a mark on his arm.  Then he took a jug of water and dipped a cross in it along with some salt, and drank it.  “That’s nasty,” he said.

     Dean wasn’t sure if he believed it.  It was too good to be true.  “Sammy?” he said hesitantly.

     “Yeah,” said his brother.  “It’s me.”

     Dean approached him, slowly, carefully… and hugged him, with everything he had.  For one shining moment, life was perfect.  He had Ember, and the house, and Baby, and now he had Sam, too.  He had missed him so much since he fell… Wait a minute..  “Wait a minute, wait a minute, you were gone, man.  I mean that – that was it.  How the hell are you-…”

     “I don’t know,” Sam said.

     And there it was.  Because nothing, nothing could ever be perfect.  “What do you mean you don’t know?”

     “I mean no idea,” Sam said.  “I’m – I’m just back.”

     “Well was it God, or Cas?  I mean, does Cas know anything about it?”

     “You tell me,” Sam answered.  “I’ve been calling.  Cas hasn’t answered my prayers.  I don’t even know where he is.  I mean, I was down there, and the next minute, it was raining, and I’m lying in that field, alone.  It’s kind of hard to go looking for whatever saved you when you’ve got no leads,” Sam said.  “I looked.  I mean, believe me… I looked.  For weeks.”

     Something in Dean’s head came to a screeching halt.  Weeks.  He’d been looking for weeks.  “Wait, weeks?  How long have you been back?”

     Sam didn’t answer.

     “How long have you been back, Sam?” Dean said sharply.

     “About a year.”

     “About a year?”

     “Dean…” Sam started.

     “You’ve been back practically this whole time?” Dean shouted at his brother.  “What, did you lose the ability to send a friggin’ text message?!”

     “You finally had what you wanted, Dean,” Sam said.

     “I wanted my brother!” Dean yelled.  “Alive!”  He was furious.  How many hours, days, weeks had he spent looking for Sam?

     “You wanted a family,” Sam countered.  “You have for a long time, maybe the whole time.  I know you.  You only gave it up because of the way we lived.  But you had something, and you were building something.  Had I shown up, Dean, you would’ve just run off.”

     He had been right, Dean would reflect later, but at that moment he wanted to send Sam back to Hell.  What was he supposed to tell Ember?  What was he supposed to tell Sam?  It was too much to take in.

     “I’m sorry, Dean,” Sam said.  “But it felt like after everything, you deserved some regular life.”

     Slowly, still not fully comprehending everything, Dean asked, “What have you been doing?”

     “Hunting,” Sam answered.

     Dean immediately felt an unexpected pang of jealousy.  “You left me alone and you were flying solo?”

     “Not solo,” Sam clarified.

     This was even more surprising.  “What?”

     “I hooked up with some other people.” said Sam.

     “You?” Dean asked.  “Working with strangers?”

     “They’re more like family,” Sam said, “and they’re here.”

     This surprised Dean even more. 

     Half an hour later, Sam introduced Dean to three of his cousins… and his grandfather, risen from the dead!  He was shocked to see his grandfather, Samuel again.  Nothing added up.  Something was very fishy.  Dean was unable to focus on that at the moment, however, because the problem at hand was so much more pressing:  apparently, a djinn was after him.

     “I got hit a few days before you did,” Sam told him.  “Dosed up with poison... After they came after me, we were pretty certain that they were gonna go gunning for you next.”

     Dean’s heart dropped.  “Ember,” he said.  “She’ll be getting home from work any minute.  She’s never fought a djinn before, and it’ll be able to see her, even if she goes invisible.  We gotta go, now!”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean had forgotten how it felt to worry about Ember.  Perhaps back when he did worry about her, worrying about Ember and Sammy was so second-nature to him that he was never even conscious of it.  Now, however, he felt himself drowning in it.  Fortunately, Ember was fine. 

     She turned white as a ghost when she saw Sam, though.  She disappeared immediately, and Dean knew she was running for her revolver.  “Ember!  Wait!”  he yelled.  “It’s really him!”  And he threw himself in front of his brother, unable to track his invisible girlfriend.

     Ember appeared in the room again a second later, revolver, salt, and holy water in hand  “Prove it!” she screamed, and sent the salt and holy water through the air toward Sam.

     When Sam was finished going through the motions with the salt, holy water, and his silver knife, Ember stood still for exactly six seconds.  Then she launched herself at Sam, flinging her arms around him and squeezing him.

    “Whoa, Ember, not so hard-…”

     But just as Ember let go, a vase of fake roses went soaring through the air at Sam’s head, and he ducked just in time.  “Sam Winchester, what the enormous fuck did you think you were doing?” Ember screeched at him.  “You couldn’t have called first, or texted?  It’s been a damn year!?”

     “Yeah,” Dean said, his anger flaring again now that his worry had abated.  “And guess what?  He’s been back the whole time.”

     “What?” Ember cried, and for a second Dean remembered the look in her eyes when she had thrown Castiel across the room the previous year.  “Sam, do you have any idea the lengths we went to to look for you!?”

     “Exactly!” said Dean.  “I looked everywhere.  We collected hundreds of books trying to find anything to bust you out.”

     “You promised you’d leave it alone,” Sam said.

     “I didn’t promise shit!” Ember yelled.

     “Of course I didn’t leave it alone!” yelled Dean.  “Sue me!”  He sighed.  “A damn year?  You couldn’t put me out of my misery?”

     “Well I’m sorry,” said Sam sarcastically.  “You know now, anyway.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     On the way back to Samuel’s, Dean and Ember decided to call Bobby.

     “Bobby, we have the best news!” Ember told him.  “You’re never going to believe this… but Sam’s alive!”

     There was silence on the other end of the line.  After several seconds, Bobby said in a very unconvincing voice, “Yeah, that’s great!”

     Dean and Ember looked at each other, and Dean knew that Ember was thinking the same thing he was.  “You knew?”  Dean asked.  “You knew Sam was alive?”

     Bobby was silent for a few seconds.  Finally, he admitted, “Yeah.”

     “How long?” Ember asked sharply.

     Bobby didn’t answer.

     “How long?” yelled Dean into the receiver.

     “All year,” Bobby admitted.

     “Bobby, what the hell!?” Ember exploded.

     “And I’d do it again!” Bobby yelled back into the receiver.

     “Why?” Dean asked sharply.

     “Because you two got out,” said Bobby.  “My daughter got out.  You walked away from the life.  And I was so damn grateful, you’ve got no idea!”  Neither of them could see Bobby, but Dean could imagine his stubborn face on the other end of the phone line.

     “Do you have any clue what walking away meant for me?” Dean screamed into the phone.

     “Yeah,” Bobby said.  “A woman – my daughter – and neither of you getting your guts ripped out at age 30!  That’s what it meant!”

     “You had no right-…” screamed Ember into the phone.

     “I had every right!”  Bobby screamed back.  Dean had only ever heard him this upset twice – when he had found out he might not be Ember’s father, and before Lucifer had risen, when Dean had almost given up on Sam.  “And I don’t know how the hell you found out, but I wish to God you hadn’t!”

     Ember let out a long scream of anger, just as Dean rolled into a gas station.  “I’ll go pay for gas,” Ember said huffily.  Dean knew that this was Ember’s way of getting away from the argument before she said something she would regret.  He allowed her to go through the motions of fueling up the truck and then grabbing some food for both of them, hoping she would calm down before she climbed back inside.  He could tell that Ember, too, suspected that Bobby had orchestrated this grand scheme.  He also suspected that Ember’s mother might have had something to do with it, if indirectly.

     Meanwhile, Dean continued talking to Bobby.  “How could you do this to us?” he said, lowering his voice.  “When Sammy fell into the pit, Ember and I were both half out of our minds with grief, especially me!  I don’t know why she’s kept me around.  I drank too much.  We both had nightmares!”

     “Look, I get it wasn’t easy,” said Bobby.  “But that’s life!  And it’s as close to happiness as I’ve ever seen a hunter get!  And you’ve got to remember, that’s my daughter you’re dating.”  Bobby lowered his voice, and Dean could imagine him on the other end, shaking his head.  “It ain’t like I wanted to lie to you, either of you.  But you were out.”

     “Do we sound out to you?” Dean spat at Bobby.

 ***Ember POV***

September 24, Night

     After discussing the djinn with Dean’s grandfather Samuel, it was decided that everyone would head back to Ember and Dean’s home to serve as bait to draw them out.  While they waited, they talked with Samuel.  “Did your brother tell you what we’ve been dealing with the past few months?” Samuel asked Dean.

     “No, not really,” said Dean.

     “I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” said Samuel.  “Been working ‘round the clock.”

     “What’s going on?” asked Ember.

     “We don’t know,” Samuel said.  “But whatever it is, it goes way past a couple of djinn acting off.  We’ve got nocturnals attacking in broad daylight, werewolves out on the half-moon, and creatures that we’ve never even seen before.  We don’t even know what they are!  I’m knee-deep in half-eaten human hearts and exsanguinated 10-year-olds, and it’s all making me… uneasy.”

     Ember looked at Dean, horrified and concerned.  Dean said, “So what’s your theory?”

     “You tell me,” Samuel said.  “All we really know is, it’s all hands on deck.  We’re counting on each other right now.  That’s how it is with Campbells.  We need you, Dean.  And you too, Ember.”

     Ember looked at Dean, unsure of his answer.  She knew he liked their life, and how happy they were, but she also knew that with Sam back, things had changed. 

     Plus, if she was restless, she knew he was practically chomping at the bit to start hunting again.  To her surprise, however, he said, “Look, I hear you, but-…”

     “You don’t know what you’re a part of, Dean,” Samuel said.  “You know, you had ancestors hacking the heads off vamps on the Mayflower.  What I’m saying is that we’re your blood.  And we’re out there dying, trying to get in front of whatever this is.”

     Dean made eye contact with Ember then, just for a second, and Ember saw it, plainer than ever in his eyes – the yearning to go hunting again.

***Ember POV***

October 1, Evening

     The djinn were dead.  Ember had managed to kill one of the djinn that had been about to kill the neighbors, including Dean’s close friend.  Dean had rushed to help her.  Sam had taken out a second djinn, and Samuel had taken out a third.

     Dean had turned down Samuel’s offer to hunt with them, but he had been silent and broody ever since.  It had been a week since Dean had last seen Sam, but instead of seeming happier that Sam was alive, Dean appeared more irritable than ever.  Then, at the beginning of October, Dean had called to let her know that Sam had called him needing his help with an “emergency case involving a baby.”

     Ember knew what she needed to do.  If she admitted it to herself, she had always known this day would come.  She loved Dean, but he would never be happy living an “apple pie life.”  There were days when she wasn’t sure if she was happy living an “apple pie life”, so how he had made it through the last year without spontaneously combusting was a mystery to her.

     Therefore, after Dean returned from the “emergency with the baby,” Ember finally broached the conversation with him that she had been dreading since she had first seen Sam again.

     “Dean… about what Samuel said yesterday…”

     Dean stopped, turning to face her.  “I told you, I’m happy here.  Plus, I need to be here in case something attacks.”  Then he turned away from her again, and she knew he was avoiding the real issue.

     “Dean,” she said, crossing her arms over the dinner table.

     Dean took his time pulling a pizza out of the oven, before finally facing her, guiltily.  “Yeah?”

     Ember took a seat at the table.  “Dean, I’ve been restless over the past few months, ever since the leads dried up about Sam.”

     “Gee, I wonder why that happened,” Dean said sarcastically.

     “Yeah, I know,” said Ember, rolling her eyes.  “But anyway, I’ve lived a normal life, away from danger, for the most part.  Now, I’ve got more addiction to adrenaline than your average person – anyone who dates you would need to.  I like hunting, it’s just… not what I want to do on the regular.”

     Dean nodded at her, as though this decided it.  She continued.  “But Dean, you’ve hunted all your life.  You’re good at it.  And you miss it, I know you do.”

     Dean looked down at the floor.  It was out in the open now. 

     Finally, Dean spoke, raising his head to look at her.  “Are you kicking me out?”

     Ember was shocked.  She walked over to him quickly and put her arms around him.  “Dean, you’re an idiot.”

     He looked up at her.  “What do you mean?”

     “I’m not kicking you out,” she said, taking his hand and leading him over to the sofa.  “But I also know you’re not happy.  So… I don’t know what to do.”

     Dean sighed.  He held out his arm, pulling her to him.  It was a long time before he spoke.  “Ember… I don’t know what to do here.”  He sighed again.  “I mean, I forgot what it’s like to worry about you.  And I was so scared…” he shook his head.  “I mean, if I knew for sure what the safest thing was, then I’d do it.  Should I stay here and look after you… or get as far away as I possibly can?.... I don’t know.”

   “Dean, I’m happy here.  You know that.  But… you’re not.  I know that, too.”  She turned around to look at him.  “Dean, maybe I’m safer with you here… maybe gone.  I don’t know.  But the one thing I do know is that you’re not a construction worker.”  He looked at her carefully, resigned.  “And now that you know Sam’s out there, things are different!  You’re meant to hunt.  I hate to say it, but Zachariah, and Samuel… both of them were right.  It’s in your blood.”

     He held her close.  “Ember, I wanted so badly for you to have a normal life.  For us to have a normal life.  But my past… I can never escape it.”

     “Dean… I’m never going to have a normal life.  We can try to make an “apple pie” go of it all we want, but at the end of the day, you’re a born and bred hunter, and I attract demons.  You’ve taught me everything – everything you know – how to defend myself, how to fight, and how to shoot.  We even laced all the walls at my job with salt last year when it was under construction!”  They smiled at the memory.

     Dean still seemed unsure, so Ember took a different tact.  “You don’t want to be here, Dean.”

     “Yes, I do,” he said firmly.

     “Okay,” Ember said.  “But… you also want to be there.  I get it.”  She paused, then took both of his hands.  “Dean, you’re white-knuckling it, living like this, like what you are is some bad, awful thing.  But it’s not.”

     Dean looked downward again.  He had never been good at taking compliments.  “Dean, way back in the beginning, before Lucifer, before Lilith, before Anna, even – I wanted you.  As you were.  And I had a great time traveling with you and Sam during the Apocalypse – or, well, as good a time as was possible.  But this life was never really for me.  I like joining you every once in awhile, you know?  And don’t think that I won’t, because I will.  But… my place is here. So… go save the world, Dean.”

     “I can’t just lose you,” Dean protested, interlacing his fingers with Ember’s.

     “That’s not what I’m saying.”

     He looked at her curiously.

     She smiled.  “What I’m saying is… don’t forget to call me every day, Dean Winchester.”

Chapter Text

***Ember POV*** 

October 8, Evening

     “Well I’ve had a day,” Dean told Ember when she picked up the phone.

     “Yeah?” Ember said, finishing up a television show.

     “You’ll never believe who finally popped in.”

     “Eh?” Ember said, paying attention to both Dean and the television.

     “Cas!” Dean explained.

     “No way!” Ember said, paying attention now.

     “Yeah!  And he popped up as soon as I prayed to him, too!”

     “No way,” Ember said again.  “I’ve prayed to him at least once a week over the past year, and he hasn’t even said hello!”

     “Yeah, well, remember how he didn’t used to be as much of dick as other angels?  Well, apparently he’s gone back to his roots over the last year.”

     “Uh, oh, what happened?”

     “According to Cas, Heaven’s in Civil War,” Dean said, recounting the story.  Apparently an angel called Balthazar had stolen the Staff of Moses, along with other weapons, from Heaven.  He had sold one of them to a little boy in return for his soul.  The boy had wanted to get even with some policemen who had wrongfully killed his older brother.

     “What the hell are angels doing selling souls?” Ember asked Dean.

     “Well, that’s what I said,” Dean answered.  “Apparently souls are worth a lot.  Maybe they’re like… I don’t know, the gold dubloons of Heaven.”

     “That would make sense, I suppose,” Ember said thoughtfully.  “So what happened after that?” she asked.

     “Well, that’s the weird thing… so Cas said that the only way to know which angel had sold the Staff of Moses to the kid was to read some kind of brand on his soul.  And it was really painful for the kid… it was like Cas was torturing him.”

     “And you just let it happen?” Ember said in surprise.

     “No!  I told them they couldn’t torture a kid like that, but I was outvoted.”

     “Outvoted?”

     “Yeah, Sam just stood there!  He just asked if there would be any permanent damage!”

     “That doesn’t sound like Sam at all!” Ember said, worried.

     “I know, right!  I keep telling you, there’s something really wrong with Sam.  It’s like he doesn’t care about the things he used to care about.”

     “Well, everyone handles Hell differently I guess,” Ember said.  “There’s something I never thought I’d say.”  She rolled her eyes, then realized that Dean couldn’t see her.  “Look, I know it’s not exactly your strong suit, but have you tried talking to him about it?”

     “Only the once, and he just said he didn’t want to talk about it.”

     “Yeah, so did you, when you got back,” Ember pointed out.  “And I had to hear about it from Uriel, of all people.” 

     “Fair point,” Dean replied begrudgingly.  “Yeah, I’ll try.”

     They were silent for a second.  “So did the kid get his soul back?” Ember asked.

     “Yeah, we got it back for him in the end.  There’s more to the story, but before I forget, speaking of souls… Bobby’s finally got a plan in motion to get his back.”

     “Yeah?” Ember asked.  “It’s about damn time.”

     “Yeah… how do you feel about going to Scotland next weekend?” Dean asked.  “Do you think you could get off for it?”

     “What the hell is in Scotland?” Ember asked.  “I mean, it’s Bobby, so of course I’ll make time for it, but… Scotland?”

     “Crowley’s gravesite, apparently.”

     Interesting, Ember thought.  She wondered how many demons Bobby had had to kill to get that piece of information.  “Yeah, okay.  It’ll be good to get some time away.  Lucky it’s on a weekend.  Hey Dean, I gotta go… I’ve got a client on the other line,” Ember said, groaning.  “Can I call you back?”

     “Yeah, sure.  I love you.”

     “Love you too.”

***Dean POV***

October 22

     Dean was turning into a vampire.

     He was fast.  He was strong.  He hated light.  He could see the beginnings of fangs in his gums.  And he was thirsty, and he knew it wasn’t for food.

     Normally he would’ve asked Sam to kill him.  Or sought comfort with Sam.  Or even talked about it with Sam… but Sam wasn’t Sam anymore.  Sam had stood there, and watched as he had been bitten.  He didn’t know why, but he was sure that it had happened.  The look on Sam’s face as he had watched – calm, cool, collected, even curious – was forefront in Dean’s mind at the moment.

     Ember would know what to do.  She had to know, regardless.  She had to know that Sam was dangerous…

     He stood over her bed, and at that moment it occurred to him that he was a vampire, watching the girl that he loved sleep – something he had called “rapey” only a few hours before.

     Ember gasped awake, suddenly, and Dean marveled at how adorable she looked, her hair messed up from sleep, and her white nightgown falling off her curves.  “Dean!” she said in surprise.

     “Hey,” he said.

     She turned on a light, and he turned his head but then forced himself to look at it.  He had come to say good-bye.  It wouldn’t do for her to know something was wrong.   She would find out later, he was sure… but not now.

     “Hey,” she said.  “I wasn’t expecting you for a couple of days.”

     “Yeah,” he said.  “Yeah, I wanted to see you.”

     “What’s up?” she said.  “It’s… it’s 3AM, Dean.”  She scooted close to him.

     He scooted farther away, choosing a seat on the edge of their bed.  “Are you okay?” she asked.

     “Listen,” he said.  It was everything he could to not to reach for her, but he didn’t trust himself to do so.  God, this was so cliché it was making him want to throw up.

     “What’s going on?” she asked.

     He could hear her heartbeat.  “It doesn’t matter.  But I need you to know.  Just… thanks.  Okay?  For everything.  And… I love you.”

     “Dean?” Ember said, moving closer.  “You’re scaring me.”

     He moved farther away from her again.  Her heartbeat was so fast.  “Oh, God,” he mumbled.  “I’m Pattinson.”

     “What?” Ember said, and though Dean was turned away from her, he could hear that she was moving for her revolver.  This was not going the way he had wanted.

     “I’ve got to go,” he said.

     “What the hell, Dean?” Ember said sharply.  “What got you?  Werewolf?  Vampire?”  She had him at the end of her revolver, now, though they both knew it wouldn’t do any good.  Dean knew she normally would have gone invisible, but she still trusted him to be able to control himself.

     “Believe me, I wish it was different,” Dean said.

     “We can figure this out,” Ember said, panic in her voice.  “Just tell me what’s going on!”

     “I can’t bring this crap home to you,” he said.  This had gone all wrong… he had just wanted to tell her he loved her.  And he needed to tell her about Sam…

     “What are you talking about?”  Ember asked.  “What got you?  Come on, Dean, what’s going on, you’re scaring me!”

     He started again.  “Ember, Sam… he’s not right.  He’s… and I’m gonna die.  Soon.”

     “Dean?”  Ember said again, and she took another step closer to him.

     In one swift motion he had her up against the wall.  He could hear her heartbeat.  He could smell her shampoo, so much better than he ever had before.  And he was so hungry…

     And then he felt fangs breaking through the skin, and he turned away from her abruptly.  “I gotta go,” he said.

     In his effort to get himself away from her, he threw her aside, and she hit the wall again, knocking the back of her head on it and sliding down. 

     “Dean!” she called after, him, but he was already halfway out the door.

***Ember POV***

October 23, Early Morning

     “Ember, I’m sorry.”

     “Dean, don’t… don’t worry about it.  Christ, until an hour ago you were a vampire!  Let’s just… just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.”

     “I’m sorry,” Dean repeated.

     “Dean, I can’t have this conversation with you when the only thing separating you from Edward Cullen is a disgusting-looking homebrewed vampire cure potion and a damn shower.”

     “Ember, I know you’re angry.  Please, just… just let me have it.”

     Ember sighed.  After Dean had left the previous night, she had managed to reach Sam, and caught up with Sam and Samuel on their mission to help cure Dean of his vampirism.  The potion, an old recipe of Samuel’s, required Dean to kill the vampire who had turned him, which he had done.  It had been very bloody, and Ember, who had previously been anxious to join Dean on a hunt, felt that she had had enough of monster-hunting to last her at least a month or two.  Dean and Ember had their own motel room for the night, and it should’ve been a happy occasion before Dean set off again in the morning.  Ember was steaming mad, though, and apparently it showed.  “Dean, I’ve never, never felt unsafe with you,” Ember said finally.  “I’ve seen you killing, I’ve seen you knifing, I’ve seen you massacring.  But I’ve never felt unsafe with you until tonight, and you’ve never hurt me.”

     Dean hung his head.  If she wasn’t quite so angry with him, it would’ve been adorable.

     “And I get it,” she continued.  “I get that you were a vamp, you know?  But what I don’t get, is why the hell you would come home?  I get that you wanted to say goodbye, but you couldn’t have called and given me a heads-up?  I mean, come on!  What…”

     Ember shook her head, trying to collect herself.  “I mean, it’s bad enough…”  But that sentence would only lead to bad things.  It’s bad enough that you can’t come home more than once every month or so.  It’s bad enough you want to hunt, and I want to stay home and adopt. 

     “Look, Dean, what if I’d had a houseguest or something?  What if I’d had a… I don’t know, a roommate or something, someone you were less motivated to not eat?”

     “Like a kid?” Dean asked accusatorily.

     “Yes, like a kid!” Ember yelled at him.
     “I’m sorry, okay?” Dean said.  “I can only say it so many times.  I fucked up.  I fucked up, for real.  I put you in danger, and I’m sorry.  It’ll never happen again.”

     Ember sighed.  “I know, Dean, it’s just… I worry about you, all the time.  But I don’t worry about you getting killed by a monster half as much as I worry about what you’re not telling me.  It’s like when you wouldn’t talk to me about hell, and when you tried to escape to go be Michael’s vessel.”  Dean winced as Ember brought up these topics.

     “It’s like what Sam’s doing now,” Ember continued.  “You’re right, it’s obvious he’s not telling us something, but God forbid I’m actually able to get it out of him.  Well, you do that too!  I can’t spend the rest of my life guessing what’s going through your head, Dean.  I’m pretty good at it by now, but it would help if you told me basic things… things like, ‘By the way, I got turned into a vampire!”’    

     “I know,” Dean said.  He pulled her to him, and she allowed it.  “The only thing I can do is promise that I’ll never do it again.”

     “Thank you,” Ember said after a long pause.  She felt like she wanted to say more, but she couldn’t think of anything that she hadn’t already covered.  He had already apologized several times, and she knew better than to metaphorically “drive in the knife” after Dean was already upset with himself.  She kissed him.  “I’ve missed sleeping next to you.  Let’s get some sleep.”

     But though they slept in the same bed for the first time in over a week, neither of them got much sleep.

***Ember POV***

October 29, Day

     Ember felt lucky – she’d seen Dean three times that week after work.  From Limestone, IL (where Dean had been turned into a vampire), Dean and Sam had moved on to Calumet City, IL, which were both within a 2 hour drive for Ember.  If she (or Dean, at one point) drove the hour and a half after work, they were able to see each other, stay the night, and drive back before work the following day.

     Ember was still wary after the vampire incident, but aside from this one bad decision, Dean had seemed back to his normal self.  Ember was even more scared about Sam, who was acting more and more abnormal by the day.  Dean was convinced Sam had watched him get turned, and after spending time with Sam over the past month, Ember wouldn’t put it past him.  It was like… Ember contemplated.  It was almost like Sam’s emotions never seemed to reach his eyes anymore.  “I used to have a really great friendship with him,” Ember had told Dean the night before last.  “But now it’s like… like something’s changed, since he’s been in Hell.  If he’s not asking me to join the two of you hunting, he’s working on a case, or looking for another case.  It’s like…”

     “He never slows down, and he’s always calculating?  Yeah.  Tell me about it,” said Dean.

     “It’s like what makes him human is… gone,” Ember said.

     Ember continued to contemplate the Sam situation as she pulled up to the motel Dean was staying at.  Dean was outside in his car, but his reaction when he saw her was less than ideal.  He looked almost… scared.

     “Dean!” she said, smiling slightly.

     “Ember, you should know before you come any closer-…” he began.

     “I want to get married and have a child with you but you’re never home,” Ember said abruptly.  Then, “Oh my God!  Why the fuck did I say that?”

     “I’m, um, under the effects of some sort of truth spell,” Dean said.

     “You couldn’t have called and told me?” Ember asked him.

     “It works over the phone, too,” Dean said.  “Bobby just told me he gets pedicures and that he’s a huge fan of Tori Spelling.  I’m scarred for life.”

     “Oh,” Ember said, stunned and somewhat disgusted.  She paused.  “I’m not sure we can stay together because I really want a family, and you never stay home.  And sometimes the decisions you make cause me to wonder if you would be a decent father anyway, because you’re reckless and you don’t think first.”

     Dean’s face fell.

     “I’m sorry, Dean, that came out harsher than I meant!” Ember explained.  “I… haven’t really been thinking about breaking up or anything.”  Then immediately.  “That’s a lie.  I’ve thought about it a couple of times.”

     They stared at each other.  Then Dean grinned.  “So, um… since we’re here anyway… have you ever cheated on me?”

     “No!”

     “Good.”  He grinned again.  “See, this could’ve been a whole lot worse!  I’ve got an idea.  Why don’t you hit the hotel room, and I’ll stay out here.  When I get this damn thing removed, I’ll come back.”

     Ember smiled.  “I love you, Dean.  You need to stop pushing your anger down.  You push it down, and you push it down, and you’re freaking impulsive.”  Ember’s eyes widened again.  Suddenly she had an idea.  “Hey, is there any chance you can call that girl at work I keep bitching about?  Tell her… I don’t know, tell her I’m really sick and I might not be at work tomorrow, and you’re calling for me.”

     Dean grinned.  “Yeah, just text me her number.”

     Ember’s eyes widened.  “Thanks!  Oh my God, this conversation is so embarrassing, but thank you!  I drink out of the carton sometimes when you’re not looking.”

     “Ew!” Dean said as Ember disappeared into the motel room.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Two hours later, they were back in the motel room.  Dean and Sam had successfully killed the goddess Veritas, and the truth spell had been broken.

     “Ember… have you really thought about breaking up?”

     Ember squirmed uncomfortably.  “Only in the darkest moments,” she said honestly.  She took a deep breath.  “I mean, the vampire thing was just a week ago.  But… Dean, I have a feeling that truth spell not only makes you tell the truth, but makes you tell it in the harshest way possible.”

     “Yeah, it does,” said Dean.  “But… I want to know the truth, Ember.”  They smiled at each other despite the situation, as these had been the words that had invoked Veritas’ spell.

     Ember stood up from the bed, unable to stay sitting for this conversation.  “The truth is, ever since you’ve started hunting again, I’ve wondered… what’s going to be in our future.”

     Dean stood up too, and began to pace around the room.  “Ember, I know you say I don’t tell you things, and you’re probably right, but I’m going to try.  It’s… it’s like I was saying to the Goddess earlier.  I told myself I wanted out, that I wanted you, and a family.  And I wasn’t lying.  I do.  But you were right, too… what I’m good at is killing things.  I’d love to be a father.  But… I don’t know if I’m going to live past tomorrow.  So if you want someone to stay home, and cook food, and raise children… Ember, I love you, but I’m not it.”

     Ember sighed.  “I know that, Dean.  But it’s… it’s more complicated than that.  I mean, we’ve talked about… about having children.  And I can’t exactly have children either.  Any child of mine would be adopted, and would have to be familiar with ‘the life.’”  (Here Ember made air quotes.)  “And you know how it is,” Ember continued.  “Monsters orphan kids every day.  It’ll happen, eventually.  There’s a couple of kids at work that I think have had an encounter… they won’t be too hard to find, once I’m a little older and ready for a kid.  So it’s not like I’m wanting an “apple pie” life either… that ship sailed for me when my powers kicked in when I was 15.”

     Ember sat down on the bed again, her speech almost completed.  “It’s just… I wonder how it’s all going to fit together, is all.”

     Dean joined Ember on the bed.  “Ember, there’s no guarantees about this life, you know that.  I may be dead tomorrow for all we know.  And it may be better… are you sure you don’t want something different?  Something more… stable?  I mean, I want you to be happy, and it doesn’t seem like-…”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “Dean.  I’m a half-demon.  I may not be able to throw angels against walls anymore, but my life is far from normal.  I love you.  And it would be practically impossible to have a relationship with someone who wasn’t in ‘the life.’  Believe me, I’ve tried.  So please, if you’re going to try to make some kind of executive decision to end this relationship because you think I’d be better off with an apple pie life, save us both the misery.  You hunting again has been an adjustment.  We’ll get over it.”

     Dean stared her in the eyes.  “Are you sure?”

     “Dean.  We’ve been together for two years.  We can handle some vampires and a truth goddess.”

     He smiled at her and pulled her closer, teasing the skin on her lower back under her shirt.

     She kissed him for all she was worth, feeling the flat planes of his chest, hard and firm again now that he was back to hunting.

     Make-up sex was always fun.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

November 6, Evening

     “Hey babe,” Dean said when Ember answered the phone.

     “Hey,” she said, finishing up her Wendy’s take-out.  “Thanks for the text last night.”

     “Yeah, sorry I didn’t have a chance to call.  Things got busy once we got to Samuel’s place late last night… there’s nowhere private to call there, at all.”

     “It’s no problem.  Where are you now?”

     “In the Impala.  It’s just me and Sam.” 

     “OK… so you didn’t find out anything from Samuel about Sam’s missing soul?”

     “No,” Dean said. “More dead ends.  Samuel’s soul is in tact.  Cas checked.”

     Ember shook her head on the other end of the phone.  “I still can’t believe Sam’s soul is still in Hell.  I guess it explains a lot though.”  She paused to take a bite of her burger.  “What’s the next step?”

     “No idea,” came Dean’s voice.  “That’s our only lead.  I still don’t think Samuel is telling the truth, though.  Meanwhile, you should know… we’re going after the Alpha vamp tonight.”

     “What?!” Ember said, spitting out the drink of lemonade she had just taken.  “Are you sure you don’t want me to help?  Where is he?  How far?”

     “Don’t worry about it,” Dean said.  “We both know you’ve got that big court case tomorrow.  Anyway, it’s too far away.”

     “But Dean, you can’t go after an Alpha with just you, Sam, Samuel, and two or three cousins.”

     “We’re not,” said Dean.  “There’s about twenty of us.  Samuel russled up some extra goons at the last second.”

     “I thought you said you didn’t trust him?” Ember asked Dean.

     “I don’t,” Dean answered.  “I know he’s hiding something.  But I don’t think he’d sell me to the vamps, either.  I should be okay.  Anyway, I gotta go.  I love you, okay?  I’ll call you when I’m clear.”

     “I love you, Dean.  Be careful.”

***Ember POV***

November 7, Early Morning, 3 AM

     Ember’s phone was ringing.  Ember groaned, turning over in her bed.  She hadn’t really wanted him to call her when the crusade with the alpha vampire was over… a text would have been fine. 

     “I’m outside,” Dean said.  “Sorry, I just didn’t want to stand creepily over your bed again.”

     “What happened?” Ember asked, letting Dean inside.  He was drenched – there was a thunderstorm going on, and it matched Dean’s mood, Ember noticed.  The quest for the Alpha must not have gone well.  Ember assessed Dean for injuries, but he seemed okay.

     “It was Crowley,” Dean said gruffly, not bothering to dry off before pulling Ember into a hug.  “Crowley did everything.”

     “Wait, back up,” Ember said, extricating herself from Dean and helping him pull off his drenched jacket.  “What do you mean ‘everything?’  What happened with the Alpha vamp?”

     “I mean Crowley did everything.  He’s King of Hell now.”

     “Yeah, I know,” Ember said.  “Bobby told me.  Didn’t he tell you?”

     “Must’ve slipped his mind,” Dean said sarcastically.  “He raised Sam from the cage.  And Samuel.”

     Ember gasped.  “How is that possible?”

     Dean shrugged.  “King of Hell.”

     “Even still...” Ember shook her head.  She couldn’t believe it.  “So where is Sam’s soul, then?”

     “Don’t know,” Dean said.  He followed Ember deftly back to their bedroom, now that he had taken off most of his wet clothing.  “But Crowley’s using it to make Sam and I tow the line.”

     “What?” Ember asked.  “Wait… are you trying to tell me that you’re Crowley’s-…”

     “Bitch.  Yes.  He’s making us catch creatures.  He thinks they’ll lead him to the entrance of Purgatory.”

     “Purgatory?  Does that even exist?  He’s crazy!”  Ember was startled.  Dean’s eyes were blown wide in the light from the lightning, and she knew that his expression matched her own.  She opened up her arms and hugged him.  “Dean… what are we going to do?”

     “You’re going to stay here and pretend I never came,” Dean said, pulling off the remainder of his wet clothes and grabbing some dry ones from the dresser.  Most of his belongings had been taken with him on the road by now, but there was still a wide selection here.  “I’ll be gone before morning.  I wasn’t followed, I made sure of it.  We’ll have to be more careful from now on, if…”  If you’re sure you still want to be with me.  He didn’t say the words, but they both knew what he was thinking.

     “Dean, I can take care of myself, you know that,” Ember said. 

     “I know,” Dean said, smiling.  “And I love you for it.”

***Ember POV***

November 15, Evening

     “Baby, it’s a birthday miracle for you,” Dean said over the phone.

     “Yeah?”

     “Yup!  We caught a case in Elwood, Indiana.  We’re on our way now.”

     “Seriously?  That’s great!”

     “Don’t get too excited,” said Dean.  “Trust me, it is really not a picnic hanging out with frickin’ Dexter over here.”

     “Still no luck on the soul reunification front?”

     Dean scoffed.  “No, and I swear he becomes more of a dick by the day.  At least the fact that he doesn’t sleep means that he’s good to drive through the night now.  We’ll be there by morning.”

***Dean POV***

November 16, Evening

     Dean missed Ember a lot, though (as usual) he didn’t want to admit it.  He yearned for the days of the Apocalypse, when Ember was always with them and Sam had a soul.  For tonight, though, just for tonight, things felt almost back to normal again.  Sam had promised to keep an eye on the suspicious clock maker, and he and Ember were spending the evening investigating crop circles.

     Well, they were supposed to be investigating crop circles.  What they’d really been doing was having sex in a corn field. 

     He had laid out a blanket from the back of the Impala, and she was as beautiful as ever under the starlight.  More beautiful, perhaps, because Dean hadn’t seen her in over two weeks, unless you counted the four hours he’d spent warning her about Crowley. 

     “Remind me why the hell I went back to hunting, when I could have this every night?” Dean asked her, kissing her neck and down her breasts.

     “Quit trying to be romantic,” she said, palming him through his jeans and shoving up against his partially naked chest.  “You’re already getting laid.  And we are hunting.”

     He smirked.  “I know.  I’m killing two birds with one stone.”

     Suddenly the phone rang, and Dean recognized Sam’s ringtone.

     “Do you have to take it?” Ember asked as Dean reached for the phone.

     “Probably, yeah,” Dean said begrudgingly.  “I’m pretty sure I’m the only string holding Pinocchio’s morals right now.”  Ember chuckled, appreciating the sarcasm despite the dire situation.

     “What?” Dean said, answering the phone irritably.

     “Only thing this guy’s up to is alcoholism,” Sam said.

     “Good,” Dean replied.

     “Maybe I should go talk to him again,” Sam suggested.  “I mean, you’re the one who said he’s hiding something.”

     “Dean!” Ember said in alarm, nudging him.  But Dean had heard it too – a noise like a car starting up.  “Shhhh!” he told Sam over the phone.

     “What?  You see something?” said Sam’s voice.  “Dean, what’s out there?”

     “Hang on a second,” Dean said.  He took out his gun, signaling Ember behind him.  His pants were unbuckled, neither of them had shoes on, and Ember was quickly struggling to put her bra back on… but none of those things stopped the UFO.  It rose above them, shining light directly in their eyes.  And then they knew no more.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean and Ember couldn’t have been gone more than an hour, and most of that had been walking back to town.  Both of them were freezing – Dean moreso than Ember, as he had loaned her his top.  Once the aliens had sent them back, all of their clothes, their blanket, the Impala, and their phones were gone.  They’d been forced to walk 15 minutes into town to a gas station and call a taxi.

     Both of them were horrified to find that Sam had apparently used their time away to sleep with one of the hippie girls they had spotted earlier at the camp for UFO sighters.

     “Dean!” Sam said in surprise, and both Sam and the hippie girl turned to face the newcomers in the room.

     “What the hell?” Dean and Ember both said at the same time.

     “Oh that’s Dean?” said the hippie chick.  “Sam, they brought your brother back!”  She gave Dean a wide smile.

     “No offense, lady,” Ember said, shivering despite Dean’s overlarge top.  “But get out.”

     Two minutes later, Hippie Chick was finally dressed.  “It’s alright,” she said to Sam.  “I totally understand.  You need time as a family.”  She began to head out the door, then stopped.  “But it’s just- what were they like?”

     Ember had tossed Dean’s shirt back to him and taken the blanket from the bed, wrapping it around herself.  She hadn’t noticed Sam’s brief appraisal of her body during the brief moment between Dean’s shirt and the blanket, but Dean was seething inside.  He hadn’t thought it was possible to be angrier than he already was.  “They were grabby, incandescent douche bags.  Good night.”

     “Too soon?” asked Hippie Chick, and Dean shut the door in her face.

     “You’re upset,” Sam said, facing Dean.

     “Dean, do you think it would hurt my entrance into Heaven if I killed him?” Ember said, standing behind Sam.  “Soullessness is basically like being a demon, right?”

     “Hey!” Sam said.

     Dean, finally summoning his will to confront the situation, turned around to face Sam.  “I was abducted,” he said.  “And you were banging Patchoulli.”

     “I didn’t think she smelled that bad,” Sam said.

     “I was abducted by aliens!” Dean screamed at his brother.

     “I was looking into it,” Sam protested.

     Dean heard Ember’s scream of rage from behind him.  “Looking into it?” he asked.  “I was gone for like an hour!  And most of that was walking back to town!”

     “An hour?” Sam asked.  “Dean, I think your watch is off.  You’ve been gone all night!”

     “What?” Ember shrieked.  “I have work in the morning!”

     “What are you talking about, no I haven’t!” Dean said.

     But he had.  According to Sam’s watch, it was “4AM!”

     “Yeah!” Sam said.  “UFO time slip.  That actually falls in line with a lot of abduction stories.”

     “Why couldn’t they have abducted you?”  Dean heard Ember mutter, though Sam was by that point out of earshot.

     “Nothing’s falling in line!” Dean screamed.

     “Here,” Sam said, giving both Ember and Dean a glass of whiskey.  It was a mark of how bad the situation was that Ember actually drank it.  Dean couldn’t count the amount of times she had told him that “whiskey tastes like piss and motor oil.”

     “Come on, talk to me,” Sam said.  “What happened?”

     “Well, uh… there was this, uh…”  Dean paused, realizing his words sounded cliché.  “God help me, Sam, there was this bright white light.”

     “It’s okay,” Sam said, putting his hand on Dean’s knee, and Dean jerked back in alarm.  “Safe room.”

     “We were taken to this… I don’t know, we weren’t in the corn field anymore,” Ember finished for Dean.  “And there were these… aliens, I guess, but it was too bright to see.  And we were holding hands, and, we could feel them trying to pull us apart, and pull us to these tables…”

     “Probing tables?” Sam asked.

     “God, don’t say that out loud!” yelled Dean.

     “Maybe,” Ember said, shuddering.  “Anyway, so I used all the powers I could muster to shove the tables at them, and Dean yelled ‘Duck’ and stared firing…”

     “I started hacking, and slashing, and firing…”  Dean laughed.  “They actually seemed surprised.”  He felt Ember’s presence next to him, and he reached his arm around her and pulled her closer.  “I don’t think anybody’s ever done that before.”

     “I’m going for a shower,” Ember said, standing up and heading in the direction of the bathroom. 

     “I had a close encounter, Sam,” Dean said, taking another sip of whiskey.  “And I won.  And now, I’m going to join my girlfriend in the shower so that I can get laid.”

     “How come you can have sex but you got mad when I had sex with the Hippie Chick?” Sam said in a nonchalantly curious voice.

     “Here’s a thought,” Dean said.  “Why don’t you go find Patchoulli again?  Don’t kill her, and be back by morning.  Okay?  Wear a condom.  I don’t think being soulless prevents pregnancy.”  And with that, he slammed the door to the bathroom.

***Ember POV***

November 17, Evening

     When Ember came to the hotel after work the next evening, Dean and Sam were busy going over lore.  Ember’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the microwave, which was open and covered in a substance which looked suspiciously like blood.

     “What did you guys do, explode a cat in the microwave?”

     “You can see it too?” asked Dean.

     “Not a cat,” Sam clarified.  “A fairy.”

     “Yeah,” said Dean.  “Apparently, we got abducted by fairies.”

     Ember split into a big grin.  “You know, I love my job, I do.  But God I miss hunting.”  She paused.  “Wait, hold on.  Are you trying to tell me you exploded Tinkerbell in a microwave?”

***Ember POV***

November 18, Evening

     “Ember?” said Dean at the other end of the line.

     “Yeah?”  Ember was driving to Elwood, IN from work.  She had hoped she wouldn’t miss too much of the rest of the boys’ continued hunt for the fairies, but she could tell by Dean’s tone of voice that she already had.

     “I’m in jail.”  Wonderful.

     “Give me the address, I’ll come see you.”  I’ll come break you out, because I can go invisible.  That’s what you really want, otherwise you would’ve called Sam.

     “555 Court Street, Elwood, IN.”

     “OK, thanks.  I love you.”

     “Love you too.”

     It was another hour before Dean was out of jail, and just as they both got into Ember’s Cruise, a man popped up in their back seat.  Ember knew immediately it was one of the fairies.  She had seen him a couple of times over the past couple of days, watching her.  Sam was battling the leprechaun back at the clockmaker’s home, Ember guessed, and now all of his fairy henchmen were pissed. 

     Ember kept driving.  Dean took the iron knife Ember had placed in her front seat that morning and stabbed the man in the chest with it.  He recovered, though it took a second, and Ember saw Dean dodge a blow and attempt another stab.  The man grabbed Dean by the throat, and just as Dean began to lose his breath, the fairy man disappeared.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “I’ll give you this much,” Ember told Sam an hour later.  “You’re soulless, but at least you’re effective.”

     “Cheers,” Sam said, holding up his glass.  Apparently Sam had won his battle against the leprechaun at the last possible second.

     “I miss this, you know?” Ember said to the other two.  “I love my life, and I love being a therapist, but… I miss this.

     “It’ll be even better once Sam gets his soul back,” Ember continued.

     “Was I… how was I different before?” Sam asked curiously.

     Ember thought a moment.  “You cared about things,” she said.  “You were… a person.  Friendly.  Sam… you’re lucky Dean’s your brother, instead of your enemy.  Because I’ll be honest with you right now, there’s a fine line between what you are right now and the things you hunt.”

     Sam nodded thoughtfully.  “I know that.”

     Ember nodded.  “Good.  I miss you, Sam.  I miss the real Sam.”

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

December 9, Night

     They had been over it, again and again, for nearly a month now:  Should Dean help Sam recover his soul?  Did Sam even care about getting his soul back?  What would Sam be like if he continued without a soul?  Would Dean ultimately have to kill him?

     A week ago, Dean had found out for sure that Crowley was unable to break open the cage, which had been their last hope.  Ember had almost hoped that Dean would give up and move on after learning this, but both of them had known that he wouldn’t.  Truthfully, neither of them liked the idea of Sam’s soul spending an eternity in the cage with Lucifer and Michael, but Ember didn’t see much hope otherwise.

     Dean had come up with one last, desperate hope:  to ask Death for help retrieving Sam’s soul.  He would be using astral projection to be able to speak with Death, which meant he had had to come within a couple of hours of Ember to visit Pamela.

     “Please don’t tell me it’s a bad idea,” Dean said as he lay in bed with Ember the night before they attempted the astral projection.

     “Dean, you already know it’s a bad idea,” Ember responded.  “But we both know you’re going to do it anyway.  And I don’t even fault you for this one.  I really, honestly don’t know what the best thing to do here is.  Part of me thinks it’s a terrible idea, but part of me wishes we’d thought of it a year ago.”

     Another part of her wondered if all of this discussion about Sam’s soul was a distraction from what they really needed to be talking about:  the fact that Dean hadn’t been home in nearly a month.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     The following Saturday morning, Ember and Dean arrived at Bobby’s and discussed their plan with the group at large.

     “You what?” Sam asked sharply.

     “Just hear me out,” Dean said.

     “I heard Cas and Crowley when they said it would either kill me or turn me to Jell-O, Dean, I heard enough!” Sam responded heatedly.

     “When Pamela sent me as an astral projection, Death told me he can put up a wall,” responded Dean.

     “A wall?”

     “Yes, a wall.  It would basically mean that you wouldn’t remember Hell.”

     “Really?” Sam asked.

     “Really.”

     “For good?” Sam asked.  “Like a cure?”

     “No, it’s not a cure…” Dean said.  “He said it could last a lifetime.”

     Sam understood the implications.  It could last a lifetime… but it might not.

     “Great,” Sam said.  “You’re playing pretty fast and loose with my life here, don’t you think, Dean?”

     “I’m trying to save your life!” Dean exploded.

     “Sam,” Ember said.  “I know how this works, at least I think I do.  It’s… it’s like when people block things out to avoid trauma, that’s all it is.  Don’t go through a lot of therapy, or a lot of things that could trigger or resemble Hell, and you should be fine.  You can live the rest of your life.”

     “It’s my life!” Sam shot back.  “It’s my soul, and it sure as hell isn’t your head that’s going to explode when this whole scheme of yours goes sideways!”

     Bobby looked between the three of them.  “Just curious,” he said, standing up slowly, “I presume Death isn’t doing this out of the goodness of his heart.  So what’s your half of the deal?”

     “I have to wear the ring for a day,” Dean said.

     Bobby and Sam looked at him curiously.

     “Why the hell would he want you to do that?” asked Bobby.

     “To get his rocks off?” Dean asked.  “I don’t know, but I’m doing it.”

     Sam headed out of the room.

     “Where are you going?” Dean asked.

     “Look,” Sam replied, “I hear you.  I just need a minute to wrap my head around it, alright?” 

     Dean and Ember gave each other a significant look; neither of them believed him.  Sure enough, Sam headed out the door and immediately looked for where Death’s ring had (until that morning) been buried.  “Looking for this?” Dean asked.

     “Just taking a walk,” Sam replied.

     Ember looked at Dean again, raising her eyebrows.  “Sam,” he said, “I’m your brother.  I’m not gonna let you get hurt.  I know what I’m doing here.”

     “And what if you’re wrong?” Sam asked.

     “I won’t let it go wrong,” Dean said.

     Sam shook his head, resigned.  “Fine,” he said.

     “Fine?” Dean asked, while Ember looked between the two brothers. 

     “I’m trusting you here,” Sam responded.   “Barely.”

     “You sure?” asked Dean.

     “You’re the one with the compass, right?” Sam asked.  “Just don’t mess it up.”

     “I won’t,” Dean promised.  Then he turned his back on Sam, and as he passed Ember and Bobby, he said in a low voice, “Watch him.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     It would be 24 hours until Dean returned, so Ember and Bobby took shifts.  There was never any overt agreement, but when Bobby fell asleep on the sofa, Ember drank some coffee to stay awake.  She then pretended to be asleep, waited until Sam headed out, and then became invisible and followed him.

     Sam ended up in Bobby’s barn.  As Ember watched, he began a summoning ritual.

     Ember showed herself suddenly, and Sam froze.  “Who are you summoning, Sam?”

     “Castiel,” Sam replied.

     “Bullshit,” said Ember.  “Dean told me all we have to do to get Cas to show up is to pretend we have some sort of angel weapon.”

     “Fine, you caught me,” Sam said, getting up and dusting off his hands.  “I was trying to summon Balthazar.”

     “Balthazar?” Ember said, surprised.  “The angel?  Why?”

     “I figured he might know a way to get my soul back, since Cas won’t help.”

     “I think we should wait for Dean to get back,” Ember replied, not entirely believing him.

     Sam let out a breath, and seemed to be considering something in his head.  Finally he said, “Ember, can I ask you a question?”

     “Shoot.”

     “What do you think’s going to happen to me if I get my soul back?”

     “You’ll be a normal, living, breathing human being,” Ember said, and then added, “You’ll be my best friend again.”

     Sam looked unmoved, and Ember couldn’t help but feel hurt.  She knew Sam had no soul, but she was glad she had stayed home for the past few months; traveling with him like this would truly have broken her heart on a daily basis. 

     “Ember, Cas and Crowley and everyone else agree that this is a bad idea,” Sam insisted.  “And when everyone agrees it’s a bad idea – when even angels and demons agree – you listen.”

     “So you’re really here to figure out a way to stop what Dean is trying to do.”

     “Yes.  And if you ever were my best friend, you’ll help me.”

     “Sam, I’m gonna be honest with you,” Ember said.  “You had a much better chance at getting me to go along with this argument two days ago, before Death offered his ‘anti-trauma’ wall.  When it was just a matter of Crowley retrieving the soul and shoving it back in you, you actually had a pretty good chance of getting my help.  But like it or not, this plan of Dean’s is the best thing we’ve come up with in a year and a half.  So, sorry, but I’m going to have to stop you.”

     “I don’t sleep, and you do,” Sam pointed out.  He had brought a gun with him, and he fired it at Ember.  She had been ready for him, however, and had put up her defenses - the bullet simply bounced off her, and she became invisible again.  Bullets, which were made of iron, she could handle; if he came at her with force, however, he was much stronger than her.  She would have to stay invisible.

     “Not tonight, apparently,” Ember grumbled.  It was going to be a long night.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Somewhere around hour 5, Bobby had awoken and managed to shoot Sam in the leg, and Ember had managed to knock him out.  They still stood guard, but both were exhausted by the time Dean returned.

     “Hi babe, I’m back,” said Dean, looking around at the sorry group.  “What the hell happened?”

     Ember shrugged.  “Turns out Sam likes being soulless,” she said.

     “What’d you do?” asked Dean.

     “I shot his ass!” said Bobby bluntly.

     “It’s barely been 12 hours,” Ember pointed out.  “What happened?”

     Dean looked down, ashamed.  “I had to kill a 12-year-old.”

     Ember went to his side and hugged him.  As much as she had been annoyed with him lately, at times like these she remembered exactly why she loved him so much.

     “What are we going to do?” she asked him silently.

     Currently Sam was in the panic room, unconscious, tied to both ends of a table.  Dean looked through the bars in the door, and Ember could feel the desperation radiating from him.  “I can’t keep doing this,” he said.  “What are we going to do, tie him up every time he tries to kill someone?  That’s not gonna hold him, he’s-…”

     “Capable of anything,” Bobby finished, and Ember nodded.

     “What am I supposed to do here?”

     “I don’t know,” Bobby said.

     Ember detangled herself from Dean and looked up at him.  “Well, I, for one, am starving.  Dean, is there any chance you can grab us something from the kitchen?”

     “Yeah, okay,” Dean said, and disappeared.

     Nearly four minutes later, Dean had not returned.

     “How long does it take to heat up some pork chops,” Bobby said irritably.

     Ember sighed, rising slowly.  She had been hoping to eat and get some sleep.  “I’ll go find him.  He’s probably drowing himself in whiskey.” 

     When she approached the kitchen, however, she could hear voices.  One, she recognized with a jolt of her heart, was Death himself.  “…But now, I’m going to go to Hell to get your brother’s soul.”

     Ember’s heart jumped.  What had Dean done?  Had he made a deal of some sort?  Ember turned invisible, and waited out of sight just around the corner just in case.

     “Why would you do that for me?” Dean asked.  Well, Ember thought, It doesn’t sound like he’s made a deal.

     “I wouldn’t do it for you,” Death answered.  “You and your brother keep coming back.  You’re an affront to the balance of the universe, and you cause disruption on a global scale.”

     Ember had to lean closer to hear, but she thought she heard Dean mumble an apology.

     “But you have use,” Death said.  “Right now, you’re digging at something.  The intrepid detective.  I want you to keep digging, Dean.  And you, too, out in the hallway.”  Ember jumped.  Realizing she had been made, she slowly became visible and walked into the kitchen to face Death.

     “It’s about the souls,” Death said.  “Both of you have a very big part to play ahead.  You’ll understand when you need to.”

     Ember and Dean looked at each other, concerned.  “Wait,” said Dean.  “With Sam… is this wall thing really going to work?”

     “Call it 75 percent,” said Death, and he was gone.

     Ember and Dean took one scared look at each other, then at once raced back to the panic room.

***Castiel POV***

December 13, Morning

     Castiel was halfway through recruitment of a dozen new angels to their cause when he heard Dean’s prayer:  “Please Cas, damn it, show up for once.  Don’t make me make up a damn weapon to lure you here with.  Sam’s got his soul back.  But he won’t wake up.”

     Castiel thought of several choice swear words in Enochian, but he made his excuses and headed in the direction of the prayers.

     Almost immediately, he ran into Ember.  He didn’t have a second to respond before she flung herself at him.  “Cas!” she cried, hugging him.  “It’s been so long!”

     Cas tried to remember the last time he had seen Ember.  Had it really been over a year and a half now?  It had been before the Apocalypse, when she had sent him flying across the room. 

     She was too close, he thought.  One sight of her, one sniff, and everything else – the war, Sam’s soul, Raphael – everything flew out of his head.  All he could think about was throwing her against the wall and kissing her, like he had a week or so before with the demon called Meg.  Damn her demon (and angel) attraction powers!

     He extricated himself from her.  “I don’t understand,” he said calmly.  “The Apocalypse is over, and Lucifer is locked up again.  Why is your demon and angel attraction still so strong?”

     Ember and Dean both looked at him strangely.  “It’s… not,” Ember said.  She stuck her hand out and tried to move him, but he barely felt it.  “That’s… that’s my full power, now.”

     Castiel tilted his head.  “That’s odd, then.”

     “Cas!” Dean interrupted.  “My brother!”

     “What have you done, Dean?”

     Dean explained what had occurred with Death, while Castiel felt Sam’s soul.

     “Well?” Dean asked, after his explanation and Castiel’s investigation were over.

     “His soul is in place,” Castiel said, rolling up his sleeve.

     “Is he ever gonna wake up?” asked Dean.

     Castiel was angry now.  Sam’s soul had been so weak and tortured.  It should never have been put back into the body.  “I’m not a human doctor, Dean.”  You better hope he never wakes.

     “Could you take a guess?” snapped Dean.

     “Okay,” Castiel said, turning to face him.  “Probably not.”

     “Oh, well, don’t sugarcoat it,” Dean said sarcastically.  Ember put her arm around him.

     “I’m sorry Dean, but I warned you not to put that thing back inside of him,” Castiel said, his anger surging again.

     “What was I supposed to do?” asked Dean.  “Let T-1000 walk around?  Hope he doesn’t open fire?”

     “Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it,” said Castiel.  “Like it had been skinned alive, Dean.”  Dean gulped.  “If you wanted to kill your brother, you should’ve done it outright,” Castiel finished.  And with one last look at Ember, he was gone.

***Dean POV***

December 13, Afternoon

     Dean sat down in front of Bobby, at his desk.  “Sam still asleep?” Bobby asked.

     “Yeah,” Dean said.

     “He’ll wake up,” Bobby said.

     “Yeah,” Dean said.

     “Dean,” Ember said, coming over to him.  “It had to be done, what you did.  I honestly believe that.  Even if he never wakes up, at least Cas says he’s peaceful.  At least he’s out of the pit.”

     She was right, and Dean knew it.  He would keep fighting… it couldn’t be worse than where he was before, no matter what Castiel said.

     “Dean?” said a voice from the other side of the room, and all three heads swiveled at once.  Sam walked with the heir of someone who wasn’t quite sure how they had ended up where they were.

     “Sam?”  Dean felt similarly disbelieving.

     At once, Dean and Sam moved toward each other, and Dean caught the larger man in a hug.  He could see, out of the corner of his eye, Ember and Bobby looking wary.  He knew that, like him, they were still not sure what to expect.

     Sam moved toward Ember, hugging her for all she was worth.  “Ember,” he said, holding her close.  Ember looked at Dean curiously, and Dean shrugged.

     Sam hugged Bobby next, who also looked at Dean with a raised eyebrow.  “Good to see you,” he said.  He moved back.  “Wait, I saw you – I felt Lucifer snap your neck!”

     Ember looked at Dean.  Bobby said, “Well, Cas kind of-…”

     “Cas is alive?” Sam said, his eyes growing wide.

     “Yeah, Cas is fine,” Dean said.  He was beginning to feel a huge sense of relief.  It’s going to be okay, he thought.  He doesn’t remember anything…  “Sam, are you okay?”

     Sam still looked disbelieving as he looked around at the group.  “Actually, um… I’m starving.”

     As soon as Sam was settled at the table with a beer and a sandwich, Dean asked him, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

     Sam took a moment to answer.  “The field,” he said, “And then I fell.”

     It’s over, Dean thought.  He doesn’t remember.  He doesn’t need to know about being soulless.  It’ll be better if he doesn’t know everything that happened while he was gone.

     “Okay, and then?” Dean asked, just to make sure.

     “I woke up in the panic room,” Sam said, referring to earlier that day.

     “That’s it?” said Bobby.  “You really don’t remember-…”

     “Let’s be glad,” Dean said, cutting Bobby off.  “Who wants to remember all that Hell?”

     “How long was I gone?” Sam asked.

     “About a year and a half,” Dean answered.

     “What?” Sam said, clearly startled.  “I was downstairs… I don’t remember anything.  So how’d I get back?  Was it Cas?”

     Dean and Ember shared a significant glance.  Dean knew Ember wanted him to tell Sam the truth.  “Not exactly,” said Dean.

     Sam glared at his brother.  “Dean, what did you do?”

     Dean put his beer bottle down, backed into a corner.  He had to tell his brother something.  “Me and Death-…”

     “Death?”  Sam exclaimed.  “The Horseman?”

     “I had leverage,” Dean protested.  “It’s done.”

     Dean saw Sam look at Ember for confirmation, and she nodded.  “It’s done.”

     “You sure?” asked Sam.

     “It’s over,” said Dean.  “Slate’s wiped.”

     Bobby rolled his eyes.  “Well, isn’t this just neat and clean?” he said sarcastically.

     “Yes, it is for once,” Dean said firmly.

     Sam looked suspicious.  “Is there anything else I should know?” he asked.

     Dean could feel Ember and Bobby glaring daggers at him.  “No,” he said, shaking his head and doing his best to look sincere.  “Another beer?”

     “Uh, yeah,” Sam said.

     Dean got up to get Sam another beer, and he was not surprised to feel Ember smack him on his head as soon as Sam had turned his back.  “Moron!” she muttered at him.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

Winter

     Over the following three months, Ember’s relationship with Dean was much more stable.  He was more likely to call or text her at least once daily (sometimes even multiple times), and more likely to visit every couple of weeks.  He, Sam, and Ember even stayed at Bobby’s for a week between Christmas and New Years’, and had a beautiful time ringing in the new year.

     Having Sam back was a wonderful refresher on a relationship that might otherwise have gone sour.  Ember had her best friend back for the first time in a year and a half.  Ember told Sam everything that had happened in the year he had been gone (or, at least, everything that didn’t include him).  When Dean called or texted her, Sam would often want to speak with her as well.  Ember and Dean would sext, send nude pictures, and discuss when one of them could visit next, while Ember and Sam would swap stories, reference inside jokes, and make fun of Dean.

     Sam knew, of course, that Ember and Dean were keeping a secret from him.  He would ask Ember, occasionally, but Ember would remind him how long she kept the fact that he had been drinking demon blood a secret from Dean.

     “That’s not fair!” Sam exclaimed.  “You always said it was horrible of me to keep that secret, and harmful to the relationship between Dean and I!”

     “It was,” said Ember.  “And this is too, but it’s much less so.  He didn’t do anything dangerous.  I’m sorry, Sam, I told you the whole demon blood thing was gonna bite you in the ass.”

     Sam would grumble, but he respected her wishes, and he knew he’d earned her silence.

     Finally, after a case involving dragons and virgins in February, Sam figured out everything.  Dean, Sam, and Ember had met up at Bobby’s for Valentine’s Day weekend when Sam approached Ember to discuss the matter.  He sat down at the other end of one of Bobby’s tiny sofas, and Ember knew this meant he wanted to talk.

     “You actually let him get by with giving you that, then?” Sam asked, gesturing to the gold bracelet around Ember’s arm.

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  “Normally I won’t let him get me expensive things unless he earns the money on the level,” said Ember, “but I suppose I can’t fault him for keeping a dragon’s plunder.”  She smiled.  “And normally I don’t wear gold jewelry, only silver, but…” she smiled.  “It is real gold, after all.”

     Sam nodded, smiling, and Ember looked up at him curiously.

     “Ember… Castiel told me everything,” he said softly.

     She looked at him in surprise, then rolled her eyes.  “Finally,” she said.

     “You could have just told me,” he pointed out.

     “I don’t get in between the Winchester brothers when one of them is being an idiot,” she pointed out.  “That’s my rule.”

     “It’s a stupid rule.  You should always get in between us when one of us is being an idiot,” he said.

     She smiled.  “Well, maybe I’ll have to make a new rule, then.”

     Sam leaned over onto his arms.  “Ember, I am so, so sorry-…”

     “Sam, it’s not necessary,” said Ember.  “I’m just glad you’re back.”

***Ember POV***

April 29, Night

    Ember had thought, for a few wild, hopeful seconds, that maybe when Sam got his soul back, Dean would stop hunting.  She never would’ve admitted to Dean that she had hoped for this, because the more time went on, the more ashamed she was to have even hoped for it.

     It had been more than six months now since a soulless Sam had recruited Dean to hunt again.  Back in February, the case with the dragons and the virgins had revealed that the “Mother of All”, Eve, had been released from Purgatory and was making more monsters.  Sam and Dean had been working non-stop since then, and rarely stopped to see Ember for more than a few hours on their way through town.  The few times that Ember had been able to spend an entire night with Dean had been at Bobby’s, where she had taken a plane to meet the brothers while they pored over lore or discussed a case.

     Ember had long ago stopped calling the home she had made with Dean “their home” and at some point reverted to “my home”.  Dean, similarly, had stopped calling it “home” and started calling it “Ember’s place.”  And, though he cut down on his drinking while he was around Ember, she wasn’t stupid – she knew he was drinking even more now than he had been during the Apocalypse.

     Ember knew better, by now, than to hope that Dean would ever slow down.  She knew he was a hunter, and would always be a hunter.  She often wondered if she could do better, but it also occurred to her that she was half-demon, and so perhaps having a hunter as a boyfriend was the gold standard.  Still, she felt he could take a break for more than just “let’s do lunch on my way to Ohio” or “if you want to meet up at Bobby’s, we’ve got some down time to look through the lore.”  As a result, they were arguing a lot more, and Dean was calling even less frequently.

     In the midst of all this, however, Ember reminded Dean that she still did like to hunt, and, frankly, was due for a vacation from work.  (Though hunting was a livelihood for Dean, it was more of a vacation for her.)  Because of this, Ember asked Dean and Sam (and prayed to Castiel, just to be sure) to call her when they finally located, and were prepared for a showdown with, Eve, the “Mother of All.”

     It took awhile to actually locate Eve, but the five of them (Dean, Sam, Ember, Bobby, and Castiel) found her trail easy enough to follow once they had traced her to Grants Pass, Oregon.  She seemed to be on the path to creating some sort of hybrid monster, made of a combination of werewolves, vampires, and wraiths.  (Dean called them “Jefferson Starships”.)  The new hybrid didn’t seem to be a finished product yet, however, and everywhere Eve went she seemed to leave behind a gooey, dead mess of Jefferson Starships.

     Dean and Ember did find two children, however, that had been orphaned during the chaos.  It was definitely the highlight of the trip for Ember.  Little Ryan didn’t speak, but his older brother, Joe, was smart, intelligent, and protective.  Ember and Dean dropped the two boys off with their uncle on the outside of town.  Dean caught Ember’s faraway look on the way out of the uncles’ home.  “Someday it’ll happen to us,” he said, pulling her close in the front seat of the Impala.  “This job leaves behind plenty of orphans.  Someday we’ll take some for ourselves.”  And Ember felt better than she had in months.

     It wasn’t destined to last, however.  As it turned out, Ryan had been a Jefferson Starship after all.  By the time Ember and Dean figured it out, both Ryan and Joe had been shot by demons.  Ember had been lucky, she reflected now, in not having to kill any children in her previous adventures with the boys.  There had been a few dead children along the way, but none that she or Dean had killed, and none that she had ever seen alive.  She knew she would never forget little Ryan’s face, his cold eyes and bloody mouth staring up at her.

     It should have been a happy night.  Ember and Dean were in the same bed for the first time in what must’ve been weeks, and Dean had even managed to narrowly kill Eve.  (He had tricked her into biting him, not knowing that he had swallowed phoenix ash, which was lethal to her.)  Ember should have been celebrating with Dean, but instead she just felt hollow.

***Dean POV***

May 18, Afternoon

     If Dean was honest with himself (which, again, he normally wasn’t) he had known for some time that it was over between him and Ember.  Maybe he had known it all the way back since he had gone hunting again with Sam.  Perhaps he had known it since the vampire issue.  For sure he had known it since the end of their most recent case; the sight of her face as she looked at little Ryan, dead and bloodied on the floor, would stay with him forever.

     He remembered telling Ember once that the three of them (him, Sam, and Ember) kept each other human, but he was starting to wonder if perhaps she kept him human.  He wasn’t sure entirely what he did for her, other than consistently disappoint her and put her life in danger.  He wasn’t stupid - he knew she wanted a family, and he very much doubted that he would ever be able to give her that.  He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to.

     It was selfish, therefore, to stay in a relationship that was doomed, and one that made them both miserable.  It was selfish, but truthfully it was more than he could bear to make the final move toward a break-up.  Castiel had already betrayed him, he had learned in early May.  On top of that, the thought of breaking up with Ember made him want to curl up at Bobby’s and sleep for a week, and he couldn’t afford to do so.

     Still, Dean and Ember argued constantly.  They even argued about Castiel’s betrayal.  “Dean, you have to look at this from his point of view,” Ember said.  “He began a Civil War in Heaven to fight against Raphael, because Raphael wanted to restart the apocalypse.  Without him standing up for you, and Sam, and free will, we could’ve all been dead and gone by now!”

     “I get that,” Dean said irritably, “But he could’ve told me what was going on, instead of letting us think he had killed Crowley!”

     “Dean,” Ember said irritably, and he already knew what was coming.  “You do crap like that all the time.  Like with your time in Hell, and with the vampire issue, and with Sam not having a soul… I mean, God forbid you tell people the things they need to know.” 

     “If you feel that way, why are we even still together?”  Dean felt like asking.  But he didn’t; instead, he just said, “Look, I’ve got a long night of lore ahead of me, and I know you need to go to bed.”

     “Dean-…”

     “I love you, okay?”

     There was a pause, then, “I love you too, Dean.”

     When Dean hung up the phone, he realized that Bobby was giving him the stink-eye.  “Something you want to talk about, son?” he said from his desk.

     “Not really,” said Dean.

     Thankfully, Bobby shrugged and let the subject drop.

***Ember POV***

May 18, Evening

     “Dad… do you think we should break up?” Ember asked over the phone. 

     She heard Bobby sigh on the other end of the phone, and heard him mutter something about “girl feelings.”  Finally, he said, “Ember, I love him like a son, I do.  But you also know how I feel about you hunting, much as I don’t practice what I preach.”

     Ember paused.  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

     “Ember, you were out, and he was out, and now he’s back in!  Last thing I want is you getting back in, too.  ‘Sides, you two are makin’ each other miserable.”

     “So you think we should break up?”  

     “Why’re you askin me this?” Bobby said irritably.  “You’re a grown woman, and he’s a grown man.  Both of you’re gone from my house too much for me to choose sides.  Known you both for years before you hooked up, and I’ll know you both for years if you call it quits.”

     “Thanks, Dad,” Ember said slowly.  “That was very… diplomatic of you.”

     “No problem.  Now don’t ask me questions like that.”

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

May 20, Afternoon

     Dean knew something was wrong immediately when Ember called in the afternoon.  She never called in the afternoon; she was the only person he knew, other than Sam, that was as dedicated to her job as he was to his.

     When he picked up the phone, there was static on the other line, however.  “Ember!”  he shouted frantically.  “Ember!”

     “Hello Dean,” said Crowley’s voice, and Dean’s blood ran cold with fear.  “Fancy a chat?  God, how long has it been, Dean?  Since my so-called demise, yes.”

     “Crowley, let her go, now,” Dean said.

     “Let them go?” Crowley asked, and Dean wondered who “them” was.  “Do you know how long it took me to catch Ember in the first place?  It’s been coming up on two weeks now!  You’ve taught her well, Dean.  She goes invisible in the car, and she’s salted her work and her home… I had to come myself.  And I still had to wait until she was taking a walk with a client.”

     Well, Dean thought, I guess that explained the “them” part of Crowley’s explanation.  “If you touch her, I’ll-…”

     “Please, Dean, I’m the King of Hell, I’m not one of those heathen lowlifes,” Crowley said.

     “You give her back, or I swear, I’ll-…” Dean started again.

     Crowley cut him off.  “Right.  Right.  You’ll rip me a cornucopia of orifices.  Let’s get to the bit where I tell you how this goes.  Your chocolate’s been in my peanut butter for far too long.”

     “I’m going to kill you,” Dean threatened.

     “Oh, Dean.  Ever the wit.  I’ve got your half-demon, half-human, really quite fascinating girlfriend, and I’m keeping her until I’m satisfied that you’ve backed the hell off!”

     “I’m telling you,” said Dean.  “Last chance to let them go easy.”  He could feel the cold fury rising.

     “You’re adorable when you get all threatening,” said Crowley.  “Don’t worry.  I won’t hurt them.  I won’t even touch her.  Provided you and Jolly Green stand down.  Got it?  Splended.  Kisses.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Balthazar was completely unhelpful, and Dean refused to call Castiel.

    “We’re not calling Cas,” Dean insisted when Sam suggested it.  Castiel was probably “in” on the whole plot anyway.

     “Yeah, but Dean-…”

     “We’re not calling Cas!” he repeated, his anger for the angel still burning through his veins.

     Twenty-seven hours, eight bottles of whiskey, three dead demons, and 0 hours of sleep later, however, he still had no leads on Ember’s whereabouts.  Unfortunately, he was so angry that he wasn’t fully paying attention, and the fourth demon Dean forced into the torture chair managed to rub off part of the Devil’s Trap with his foot during all of his kicking and screaming.  Suddenly, Dean was hurled across the room and held by his throat.

     And then Castiel was there, saving him, yet again.

     “I didn’t ask for your help,” Dean told the angel when he could talk again.

     “Well, regardless, you’re welcome,” said Castiel.

     “Why are you here?” Dean asked.

     “I had no idea Crowley would take Ember,” Castiel said.

     “Yeah, right,” Dean said, anger flaring again.

     “You don’t believe me,” Castiel said.  It was a statement, not a question.

     “I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth,” Dean snapped.

     “I thought you said that we were like family,” Castiel protested in his low voice.  “Well, I think that too.  Shouldn’t trust run both ways?”

     “Cas, I just can’t,” Dean said.  The fact that it was Castiel was the only reason Dean hadn’t gone for his angel blade and started fighting, considering how angry he was.  (That, and the fact that Castiel had gotten him said angel blade in the first place.)  But the “like family” excuse would only last so long.

     “Dean, I do everything you ask,” the angel pleaded.  “I always come when you call.  And I am your friend.  Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again.  Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?  All I ask is this one thing.”

     In league with Crowley.  He’s in league with Crowley.  The whole time.  Maybe he even let Eve out of Purgatory.  I’ll bet he did, thought Dean.  Ember’s face rose in his mind again, and little Ryan, dead on the floor, and the rooms full of Jefferson Starships, bloodied and gooey.  And Castiel had raised Sam from Hell, Dean had found out the other day.  “Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?” Dean asked.

     “I’ve earned that, Dean,” Castiel said, and Dean’s anger rose even higher.

     “I came to tell you that I will find Ember,” said Castiel.  “And I will bring her back.  Just stand behind me the one time I ask.”

     “You’re asking me to stand down?”  Dean asked.  You’ve kidnapped my girlfriend, and you’re asking me to stand behind you?  Dean thought.  While you let out all of the monsters which have made her life hell, have made my life hell…

     “Dean-…”

     “That’s the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me,” Dean shot back at Castiel.  “You know that, right?  Well, no thanks.  I’ll find them myself.  Both of them.  In fact, why don’t you go back to Crowley and tell him I said that you could both kiss my ass.”

     And then Castiel was gone.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     It had been nearly 36 hours by the time Dean found Ember, on a tip from Balthazar, who had come through after all.  Ember was being kept in a cage in a very small building in Los Vegas.  With her was a boy with black hair who looked about 12.  He was tall and lanky. 

     “Dean!” Ember exclaimed.  “Thank God!  It’s about time you got here,” Ember said.  “I’m bored as hell.  You know it’s been two days, right?”

     Dean ran to the cage and began to pick the lock. 

     “Get me out of here!” she exclaimed.  “I’ve tried the lock, but the bars are too strong.  Can you believe they put me in a damn cage?  But really, it’s to protect me from them.  Crowley needed me as leverage, but I don’t think he wanted to piss you, Sam, or Castiel off that much.”

     Dean was relieved to hear the news.  Just as Dean had almost finished the lock, he realized suddenly that the boy had a knife.  “Ember!” he screamed.  But it was too late, and Ember hadn’t been watching.  The demon boy plunged the knife straight into Ember’s chest.

     Ember wobbled, shocked.  “Zee?” she asked the boy, sounding weak. 

     The boy, Zee, raised the knife again, and screamed, “That was for the Apocalypse!”  Dean broke into the cage at that moment and grabbed it away from him, and began the exorcism.  If he let another of her clients die, he knew, she would never forgive him.  Fortunately Ember helped him, at that moment, by falling directly on Zee and trapping him between the bars.  The iron made him weaker than he normally would have been, and before Dean could complete the exorcism the demon had left Zee in a cloud of black smoke.

     “Ember!” Zee screamed, running toward Ember.

     Dean tried to call Sam, but there was no answer.  “Put pressure on that, okay?” he asked, giving Zee a cloth.  Ember was still conscious, and obviously in horrible pain, and bleeding, and Dean was panicked.  “Zee, we gotta get her out of here.”

     Zee, Dean noticed, was focused and on top of things.  He tried to pick Ember up, but couldn’t lift her, and Dean caught her before she fell.  “I’ve got her,” he told the boy.  “Grab my duffel bag, and find the salt gun.  Have you ever used a gun before?”  Ember could kill him later for having one of her clients use a gun, he decided.

     “Yeah,” the boy said, and Dean wondered what horrors he had had to face that had led him to Ember’s treatment.

     “If anything comes at us, shoot it,” said Dean.

     To the boys’ credit, he was fantastic.  He was focused, and he shot everything that came toward them.  When Dean managed to get Sam out of a locked room, however, he feared for a second that the boy would refuse to give the gun over.  Just as the boy began to turn the gun on Sam, Ember said weakly, “Zee, please,” and the boy reluctantly handed Sam the gun.  And finally, they were free, and Ember was bleeding.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember was dying.  She was in the hospital, unconscious and peaceful, but Dean knew where things were headed.  The stab wound had stabbed through too many vital organs.

     Dean had bought Zee food, and told him he had done a great job.  He had called Ember’s job, and they had reported that they were sending someone to Vegas to pick Zee up.  Apparently, according to the administration at Ember’s job, quite a few of the children had seen Ember and Zee disappear into a van.  Dean suspected that what had really been reported was that Ember had disappeared, but administration was unwilling to report things that way. 

     When Dean attempted to make conversation with Zee, the boy had shut him down.  “I don’t know who you are, or who you work with,” he said, “But I know why they kidnapped us.  You stay away from Ember, and you stay the hell away from me.”

     And then Dean was left with Castiel, who had shown up as soon as Zee had left the room.

     “What do you want?” Dean snapped.

     “Dean, listen-…”

     “What do you want me to say?  She’ll be dead by midnight.”

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said.

     “I don’t care,” Dean snapped.  “It’s too little, too late.”

     “Okay,” Castiel said, fixing Dean with a hard stare.  “Well, regardless, I didn’t come for you.”

     “Meaning?” Dean asked.

     Castiel placed his hand on Ember’s forehead, then looked at Dean once again.  “She is my friend, too.  Did you really think I’d let her die?”  He shook his head.  “She’s fine now.  She’ll wake soon.”

     Dean looked at Ember carefully.  Ember looked so helpless, but he was so thankful that she would be alright.  Even though he didn’t trust Castiel, somehow he trusted that she would make a full recovery.

    “Dean, I said I’m sorry, and I meant it,” Castiel said.

     Dean swallowed.  He owed Castiel his gratitude, at least, he supposed.  “Thank you,” he said slowly.  “I wish this changed anything.”

     “I know,” Castiel said, “So do I.  All else aside, I just wanted to fix what I could.  I’ve erased the boy’s memory of this event as well, and returned him back to Ember’s job.”

     Erased his memory? Dean thought slowly.  Something tugged at his brain.

     How long had he and Ember been fighting?  And it was always about the same things.  It had started out so well, but even back in the beginning he had known that she didn’t hunt for the same reasons that he did.  “You’re only in this because you’ve had no other choice.  You never wanted to be a hunter.  You did it because it was safer than staying in one place and waiting for the demons to come to you.  It was safer for you, and safer for the people you loved.”    

     And he had tried so hard.  But he had seen the looks that Ember’s mother had given him since he started hunting again.  He’d even caught Bobby with a similar protectively resentful glare in his eye. “You’re supposed to live.  Like your mother wants.  Like we want.  Like Sam wants… My daughter got out.  You walked away from the life.  And I was so damn grateful, you’ve got no idea!” 

     Worst of all was how hard Ember had tried to pretend like she was okay with him continuing to live the lifestyle that hunting required.  “I like hunting, it’s just… not what I want to do on the regular… But Dean, you’ve hunted all your life.  You’re good at it.  And you miss it, I know you do.” 

     Even when Veritas had worked her magic on Ember, Dean had still believed that maybe things could work out.  “I want to get married and have a child with you but you’re never home.  I’m not sure we can stay together because I really want a family.  And sometimes the decisions you make cause me to wonder if you would be a decent father anyway, because you’re reckless and you don’t think first.  You need to stop pushing your anger down.  You push it down, and you push it down, and you’re freaking impulsive.” 

     The worst part of the situation, Dean now realized, was not their disagreement on whether or not they might ever have a family, or even the fact that Dean was never around.  It was the fact that as long as he continued to hunt, he would always put Ember in danger.  “I can only say it so many times.  I fucked up.  I fucked up, for real.  I put you in danger, and I’m sorry.  It’ll never happen again.”

     But he had put her in danger again.  Just knowing him would always put her in danger, with her demon attraction issues, now that her power had gone back to normal.  Even knowing of him would put her in danger.

     “There’s one more thing you can do for me,” he told Castiel.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean had planned to say good-bye to Ember one last time.  He thought perhaps it would be like a bad movie -   she would think she had been in a car accident, and he would pretend to be the man who had hit her.

     What he didn’t expect was for Castiel to swish alarmingly down the hallway of the hospital in his direction.  “Dean, uh-…”

     But Dean would never know what Castiel had been about to say, because Ember stormed out of her hospital room.  Her eyes were blazing, and the vending machine next to Dean was rattling of its own accord.

     “Did you just ask Cas to white-wash my memory?!” Ember asked.  She put her hand on her hip where she usually kept her weapon, and, finding only the hospital gown, brandished her fist at Dean instead.  “You’re lucky I’m a half-demon and it didn’t work, or Bobby and Sam would’ve kicked your ass into next week!”

     Ember turned to Castiel.  “Don’t you have demons to fraternize with, or angels to betray, or Heaven to take over or something?” she snapped.

     Castiel gave her a hurt look, then disappeared.  Dean found himself almost wishing Castiel had stayed, if only to share the wrath of his girlfriend… almost.

     “Dean, of all the ridiculous, stupid shit you’ve done, this is the worst.  What the hell is wrong with you?  What gives you the right to think you have any control over my life or my memories?!?!  Fuck you, Dean Winchester.  Get out of my life.  I never want to see you again.  Consider yourself dumped.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Back in the Impala 5 minutes later, he had hoped that Sam would be supportive of his actions.

     He was out of luck, however.  “Dean, you have pulled some shady crap before, but this has got to be the worst.  Whitewashing her memory?  Take it from someone who knows-…”

     “If you ever mention Ember to me again, I will break your nose,” said Dean.

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

Summer

     Dean talked to Ember again exactly eight times after he had attempted to have her memory removed.  The first three were initiated by her, when she was less angry, to have what seemed like endless discussions to process through their relationship and the things that had gone wrong.  These three ended up in fights.  The fourth and the fifth were to talk about whether or not they could still be friends or at least work cooperatively as hunters if the need arose.  The fifth conversation ended up in their worst fight yet. 

     The sixth and seventh conversations were Dean’s attempts to update Ember on what was   going on in the world of hunting.  Castiel, in a last-ditch effort to get Dean and Sam to stand down while he opened Purgatory, had removed the wall blocking Sam from his memories of Hell.  Then Castiel had betrayed Crowley, opened Purgatory, and used the souls to declare himself God of the free world.

     Overall, the sixth and seventh conversations went fairly well, and so they attempted an eighth conversation, which circled back to their relationship and turned disastrous.

     By the middle of June and throughout July, Ember spoke only with Sam and Bobby.  Dean knew that one of the two of them spoke to her on an almost daily basis, but fortunately they seemed to do so when he wasn’t around.  This was fine with him; he was bitter, and angry, and upset.  He had lost his best friend and his girlfriend in the same month, and also managed to wreck the Impala in the debacle with Purgatory.  Castiel was apparently slaughtering Ministers in the Lord’s name, and Ember was back to her “apple pie life”, which he would never be a part of.  Now, he desired only to fix his beloved Impala and avoid talking to anybody.

     Dean was a firm believer in the fact that no matter how bad things are, they could always be worse; yet again, by the end of the summer, the universe had proved him right.   At the beginning of August, Castiel sought out the two brothers to assist him in returning the souls he had taken into himself to Purgatory.  Though he had secured and stabilized Heaven, it had been at a terrible price.

     “Your vessel is melting, you’re going to explode,” Death said when Dean brought him together with Castiel.  It was an unsuccessful but informative attempt to bind Death and make him kill Castiel.  Castiel had thwarted this attempt on his life quite easily, but Dean had been shocked to see that Castiel was looking very unhealthy regardless.  “There are things much older than souls in Purgatory, and you gulped those in too,” Death told Castiel calmly.  “Long before God created angel and man, he made the first beasts – the Leviathans.”

     Death had been right, but fortunately Castiel was able to send all of the souls he had consumed back to Purgatory – all except for the Leviathans, which held on inside his vessel.  He could not contain them, and they exploded his vessel as they burst forth from him into the water supply.  His trench coat was the only part of Castiel that Dean ever recovered.  And so Dean mourned his friend, even as he cursed him.

     Shortly after the Leviathans were set free, a few of them came to Sioux Falls.  Dean, Sam, and Bobby only barely managed to escape them, Dean with a broken leg and Bobby with a burned down house.  They set up shop instead at Rufus’ old safe house, where they spent the end of August and September as Dean’s leg healed.

     Dean’s greatest worry, however, was that by mid-summer it became apparent that Sam was having hallucinations of Lucifer.  Dean had known it was too much to hope that Sam had returned from his year in Lucifer’s cage unscathed, but he was disappointed in Sam for not telling him about the hallucinations when they had first started.  Because she was a therapist, Sam spent weeks at a time at Ember’s house, which seemed to do him good.  Dean wasn’t entirely “in the know” about exactly what Sam and Ember discussed regarding Sam’s hallucinations, but he was hopeful for a good recovery.  He knew Sam had even tried medication, and that it had worked for some time.  By September, however, Dean found a bottle of pills in the trash can.  When he asked Sam about them, he grumbled something about “side effects” and “not helping enough anyway.”  Dean knew better than to ask further.  He couldn’t really think of a response that Ember would not have classified as “not being sensitive to what Sam is going through right now,” so he simply nodded and resolved to watch his brother a bit more closely.

***Ember POV***

Summer

     Ember had tried to stay in contact with Dean, but she realized quickly that it just wasn’t going to work.  Perhaps if they gave it time, she thought, she wouldn’t be so ridiculously angry with him.  She was angry with him for the obvious reasons – the vampire debacle, and attempting to whitewash her memory.  More than anything, however, she was angry with herself that she had wasted nearly three years on a relationship that had been destined to epically explode.  She also wondered if perhaps she would always be alone.  How many hunters would she find, who knew and understood the lifestyle that she was forced to keep, being half-demon?  How many of them would accept her once they found out she was half-demon?  How many of them were as good-looking as Dean, and as good at protecting her?  Where had this gone so wrong?

     The news from Bobby and Sam that Castiel had so utterly betrayed them made things even worse.  “Why don’t you try to talk to him?” Bobby asked her one evening on the phone.  “You know he was attracted to you.  You may be best suited out of all of us.”

     “He wasn’t attracted-…”

     “Yes he was,” said both Bobby and Sam, who was staying at her house at the time.  “And Dean would say the same,” Bobby added, “If you two idgits could be in the same room for five minutes.”

     So Ember prayed to Castiel, and asked him to deliver the souls back to Purgatory, but he refused, until long after it was too late.  The death of Castiel was a blow to Ember, and she wished she could’ve been there with him when he died.  Bobby and the brothers had been right, Ember knew – Castiel had always been attracted to her.

     Overall, the only halfway good thing about the summer was how much time Sam spent at Ember’s house.  Ember often felt that she and Sam were helping each other heal – Sam from his Lucifer hallucinations, and Ember from her break-up with Dean.

     Unfortunately, it occurred to her later that perhaps Sam was able to help her far more than she was able to help him.  Ember stole a variety of medications to try with him, but after two months they were forced to conclude that the side effects of such medications were almost as bad as the hallucinations themselves.  He did, however, overall, report less hallucinations and generally a better demeanor after than before he spent time with her.  Perhaps, for now, that was all either of them could hope for.

***Ember POV***

October 29, Evening

     “Dad, thank God!” Ember said, finally hearing her father’s voice on the phone.  “What the hell is going on?  I saw the news-…”

     “Yeah, sorry I haven’t had time to chat,” said Bobby.  “I’m up to my arms in Leviathan guts, and I’m pretty sure Dean and Sam are in jail.  But I wanted you to know-…”

     “What?” said Ember frantically.

     “Look, some Leviathans copied them and started robbing banks to try to draw them out into the open, and I’m pretty sure they’re having a showdown right now in Iowa.  They had to go undercover and switch their phones, but as of an hour ago they were still alive.  I’ll give you their new numbers, here… you got pen and paper?”

     Ember hurried to grab it and took down the new numbers.  During this time, Bobby made a series of loud grunting noises, as though he was moving things around and leaning over.

     “What are you doing?” Ember said.

     “Told you, I finally figured out how to kill them.  Chop their heads off, and keep the heads separate from the body, and also burn them with borax.  Got it?”

     “Borax?  Like in soap?”

     “Exactly.  Look, I got another call comin’ in, I think it might be Dean.  Get some borax, girl.”

     “Will do, Dad.”

     Click.

***Ember POV***

November 15

     The fall passed quickly.  The brothers, and Ember by proxy, had found the Leviathans to be extremely difficult to kill, and as hard to track as demons due to their ability to copy and possess others.  Ember’s connection to the Leviathans through the Winchesters meant that Ember could never stay still for long.  Unlike with demons, there was no way to “ward off” Leviathans so that she only need fear them while she was between home and work.  Therefore, she reluctantly  moved out of the house she had once bought with Dean.  She wasn’t sure whether or not the Leviathans would be able to see her while she was invisible, but she also didn’t want to find out.  She moved to a different apartment every few months, and spent quite a bit of time sleeping, invisible, in a variety of vacant hotel rooms.  This style of living got old quickly, but it still provided for more stability than hunting. 

     Near the end of October, Ember took an opportunity to join Sam on a hunting case while he and Dean were in a fight.  She rarely got to spend time with Sam the way she used to when she was dating Dean, and relished this experience.  It turned out to be a routine ghost hunt – a “milk run”, Sam called it – but that was how Ember preferred it.

     Ember’s 29^th birthday came and went.  Sam called to wish her happy birthday, and also to explain that he had gotten married to Becky Rosen, his biggest fan.  Suspicious, Ember made immediate plans to come “visit” the happy couple at their house in Delaware the following weekend.  Before the weekend arrived, however, Sam called back to explain that Becky had made a deal with a demon, and the marriage had been annulled.

***Dean POV***

November 15

     “No.  I won’t work with Ember.”

     “Okay, okay, fine,” said Bobby on the phone.  “I’m just saying, she’s coming up on the weekend anyway to visit Sam in Delaware.  It’s been six months since you broke up and five months since you last spoke, and she’d be highly suited for this mission considering-…”

     “Yeah, and she’d be highly not suited for this mission considering we don’t talk,” Dean snapped.

     “You never should’ve let her out of your life, Dean.”

     “Are we really going to discuss this?  I thought you’d be happier with her out of ‘the life.’”

     “I’d be happier with you both out of the life.  Look, whatever, I’ll find you another hunter.”

     “I don’t want another hunter, Bobby, why can’t you do it?”

     “I’m busy.  It’s not my fault you won’t take my other suggestion.”

     “Ugh,” Dean groaned.  “Fine.  What’s his name?”

     Anything to think about something other than Ember.

***Ember POV***

December 2, Evening

     Ember was working late.  She was desperate to get out, and it had been a horrible day.  It was days like this, she thought, that almost made her want to go back to hunting.  Almost.  At least she had a date to look forward to.  Although, admittedly, Ember was sorely tempted to simply go home and go to sleep.

     She was just finishing up paperwork when the phone rang.  It was Sam’s ringtone.  Ember froze.  Sam never called this early in the evening.  She knew immediately something was wrong.

     “Sam?” she said, picking up the phone with trepidation.

     “Ember, Bobby’s been shot.  He’s – it’s really bad.”

***Dean POV***

December 3, Morning

     “Why’d you have to go and call Ember?” Dean snapped at his brother.

     Sam gave him a scathing look.

     “That was an asshole question, wasn’t it?” Dean asked.

     “Asshole question, dude.”

     Sam was right, and he knew it, so Dean chose to sit and sulk instead.  Bobby was in a coma.  Castiel was dead.  He had been living with frozen showers and no real bed for weeks, since Bobby’s house burned down.  The last thing he wanted, on top of everything else, was to spend however long it took until Bobby got better fighting with his ex-girlfriend.

     Bobby’s coma gave him time to think, and he definitely didn’t like thinking.  He hadn’t seen Ember in over six months, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.  He knew she was seeing a guy, too – it had just started a week ago, apparently.  Sam and Bobby didn’t know he knew, but he had overheard Sam talking to her about it one time when Sam thought he was asleep.  At least, he thought with satisfaction, Sam hadn’t seemed very happy about it.

     With the extra time he had to think (and the fact that he steadfastly refused to worry about the fact that Bobby might not recover), Dean churned over scenarios in his mind about what might occur when Ember arrived the following morning.  Perhaps she would run into Sam’s arms and they would embrace as friends, with Dean looking on grouchily.  Maybe she would bring her new boyfriend with her.  Maybe, he thought, she would fall at his feet and say that her life wasn’t the same without him and she desperately wanted him back, hunter or no hunter.  He smiled in spite of himself at this thought, though he knew it would never happen.

     What he didn’t expect was what actually happened.  Ember had no tears, but he could tell she’d been crying.  She had circles under her eyes, and her hair clearly hadn’t been washed in at least a day.  She was as beautiful as Dean remembered, in jeans and a new t-shirt, her long hair coming out of its ponytail.  And she ran straight into his arms and hugged him.

     He hadn’t expected it, but he hugged her back, for everything he was worth.  It felt good to hold her again, but this was about more than that.  When he finally let her go, she stumbled back and looked up at him, embarrassed.  “I’m sorry,” she said finally.

     “Ember, it’s no problem, I-…”

     “This has been stupid,” Ember said.  “It’s stupid to think we wouldn’t see each other again-… No, you start.”

     “Bobby’s in a coma,” was all Dean could say.

     “I know,” Ember said.  “I… don’t know…”

     And she looked so lost that Dean reached out to hug her again.  This time, he didn’t let go for a very long time.

***Bobby POV***

December 4, Early Morning

     Bobby knew he was dying.  He knew the bullet was slowly killing his brain.  Reapers didn’t lie – they had no reason to. 

     He had gotten to give Sam and Dean the message about the Leviathans.  That had been the most important thing, he decided.  And he had seen Ember one last time, too.  All three of them were together when he had awoken, he remembered that.  Ember and Dean must’ve found a way to put their differences aside, at least for his death.  Maybe they would get back together.  (Probably not, but maybe.)  Maybe after they took down the Leviathans, Dean would give up hunting again.  (Probably not, but maybe.)  Then his death would really be worth something.

     Now he had one last memory to experience before he died.

     He remembered this night with Sam and Dean vividly.  It had been during the Christmas where Lucifer roamed the Earth, and they had taken a break from the lore to simply celebrate all of them still being alive.

     “Alright, scoot, Jerkface, show your elders some respect,” Dean said, shoving Sam over.

     “You scoot, Asshat,” Sam said, throwing popcorn at him.

     “Dad, seriously, get some new sofas,” said Ember, squishing herself in the middle of both of them.  Dean looked at her with surprise, and Sam with alarm.  Dean shrugged and pulled her onto his lap, and Sam rolled his eyes and threw popcorn at both of them. 

     “Movie snacks!” Ember exclaimed, grabbing the plastic bag near her as Sam and Dean took a beer from Bobby.

     “Did we get licorice?” Dean asked, reaching around Ember to look in the bag.

     “No, we did not get licorice,” Sam said, his mouth full of popcorn.  “We got good snacks.  Licorice is disgusting.”

     “What’s wrong with you?” Ember said, directing the question at Dean.  “I can’t even kiss you after you eat that stuff.”

     “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite understand that, uh, Mr. Peanut-Butter-and-Banana sandwich,” he said to Sam.  “And don’t even get me started on you,” he said to his girlfriend

     “You know what?  I stand by that sandwich.  Nobody likes licorice.  It’s made of dirt!” shouted Sam.

     “There you go, see?” Ember said.  “I’ll just make out with Sam instead!”  And she hopped off of the intimate position she was sitting in on Dean’s lap, and got into a significantly less intimate position on Sam’s knee.

     “Hey!” Dean said, pulling her back.  “It is a classic movie food!  It’s right up there with popcorn!  And don’t we have a rule about the two of you ganging up on me?”

     “Popcorn?  Seriously?” Sam asked.  “You’re out of your mind.”

     “What do you have against popcorn?” Ember said, giggling.

     “Right?!” Dean said.  “It’s like little chewy pieces of Heaven!”

     Bobby smiled as the three of them faded away.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

March 22^nd, Noon

     Bobby was burned in a hunter-style funeral in his old home.  Ember felt sure that it was an appropriate rest for him.  It was what he would’ve wanted.

     “Dean?” Ember asked after the funeral.

     “Yeah?”

     “I know there’s a lot of history between us, but-…”

     “That doesn’t matter now, Ember.”

     “Well, exactly.  You’re going after Dick Roman, right?”

     “Yeah.  Obviously.”

     “Good.  Let me know when you get a lead, okay?  Any time, any place.  I want in.  Promise me you’ll let me know, both of you.  After what he did to Bobby… this is personal.  Promise me.”

     And they both had promised.

     The following four months were largely uneventful.  Ember talked to Sam every few days, and texted with Dean fairly often as well.  The three of them even grabbed dinner about once each month, when the brothers happened to be coming through town. 

     Ember and Dean seemed to have come to a truce in their united focus against Dick Roman, the leader of the Leviathans, who had shot Bobby.  For Ember, like for the brothers, this was personal.  The three of them were able to put together that Dick Roman and the Leviathans were buying up land in various places, but everything else was hazy and unconnected at best.

     When Ember wasn’t researching Dick Roman, she was working, or moving.  She switched apartments monthly, and almost always slept away from home.  Even so, she had met two Leviathans, both of which she had sprayed with borax before beheading.  One of the Leviathans had taken over her Supervisor at her job.  It had made the crucial mistake of attempting to attack her in front of 3 other members of administration, and nearly managed to eat the Deputy Director.

     “Look,” Ember told the three other adults in the room.  “Here’s the deal.  Demons are real.  Angels are real.  Monsters are real, like vampires and werewolves.  Those things are called Leviathans.  Jackie’s been dead for days.  Sorry.”

     “You… you saved us!” said her Deputy Director.

     Ember, who was having a panic attack, didn’t have time for this.  Her head was far past gratitude and explanations.  I’m going to have to go on the run again, with Dean and Sam.  And Dean and I aren’t even dating… 

     In the end, though, Ember was given a promotion.  Apparently the Deputy Director had some experience with the supernatural herself, and was happy for someone to finally provide her with some explanations.  She was also happy to have a resident expert on staff.  Ember took the promotion, in return for the Deputy Director “officially” terminating her employment with the company and sending her paychecks and official documentation through a front company.  “I get that you want me to stay here to protect you, and I couldn’t be more thrilled,” she explained honestly.  “But I need to leave a false trail.  I’ve killed one of theirs, now.”

     In the end, everything worked out.  Ember had hated Jackie anyway, and her relationship with her Deputy Director was much improved.  Her new duties as Supervisor, however, were overwhelming, and took up most of her time.  She didn’t even have time for dating, and the one brief relationship she had after she and Dean had broken up ended shortly after Bobby’s death.  Overall, she was married to her job, and she liked it that way.

     Finally, on March 22^nd, Ember received a call to change all that.

     “Hey, Ember, what hospital do you work at?”

     Ember was surprised; Dean very rarely asked about her work, and even when he did, she could tell he was having difficulty caring.  Therapy was as boring to him as football was to her.  “Uh, Lutheran Memorial, why?”

     “Do you guys have an adult ward?  I mean, you work with kids, right?”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “Yes, Dean, I work with kids.”

     “Okay, but you’re at least allowed on the adult ward?”

     “Yeah, my badge gets me everywhere… what’s going on?”

     “It’s Sam,” Dean said.  “Lucifer finally got to him.  We’re coming to you.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “So what’s your game plan here?” Ember asked Dean later over a cup of coffee at her apartment.  It was the first time Dean had been in her apartment, or any of her houses, since they’d broken up, but neither of them were thinking about that.

     “What do you mean?” he said, turning the pages of an address book.

     “Dean, the hospital can’t help him, you know that.”

     “You helped him last time, didn’t you?”

     “Not as much as I hoped I could,” Ember admitted.  “That’s how I know we can’t help him now.  These hallucinations… they barely respond to normal medications.  It’s different, because the cause is different.  And Dean, you can’t even tell me what’s wrong with him,” Ember pointed out scathingly.  “I mean, as a Therapist, ‘Lucifer finally cracked him’ is less than helpful.”

     Dean looked irritated.  “You’re the one who’s always preaching about self-help and emotional intelligence and trauma whatsit whatever,” he snapped.

     “Dean, that works with normal people.  It even works with really horrible normal trauma.  But Sam was locked in a cage with Satan for over a century.  You’re gonna need to go supernatural with this.”

     “What, like a faith healer?  You don’t think I’ve looked?”

     “Don’t get irritated with me, Dean.  I’ll look around too.  All I’m saying is, we can house him with us… keep him safe from himself and others, and all that.  But we can’t help him, not really.  And he won’t last much longer without sleep… if we don’t come up with something, Sam will die.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Three days later, Sam was still wide awake.  It had been seven days now, Ember knew, and Dean had found nothing.  At the moment, she was off work, invisible, in his room. 

     “What’s he doing now?” Ember asked Sam.  “Do you want me to keep reading?”  She had been reading Harry Potter out loud for the past hour and a half, hoping it would distract Sam from Lucifer.  So far, it seemed to be working only partially.  He wasn’t asleep, but at least he had a semi-relaxed look on his face and was no longer wincing with pain every few seconds.  (Lucifer had been reportedly screaming in his ear with a megaphone.)

     “He keeps making sexual comments about Hermione,” Sam groaned.  “But if you’re willing, please.”  He didn’t open his eyes, though Ember could tell he was still awake.

     Suddenly, the shrill ring of Ember’s phone cut through the air.

     “Dean?  What’d you find?” Ember said, picking up the phone quickly.

     “You’re not going to believe it!” Dean said.  “It’s… it’s Cas!”

***Castiel POV***

March 26, Night

     Emmanuel knew there was something missing.  Whole chunks of his life were missing.  He had a feeling, however, that he didn’t want to know about the things he couldn’t remember.  He liked his life with Daphne.  He liked doing God’s work.  He was happy.

     Since he had met Dean, and the demon Meg, however, this feeling had increased.  Why was he so comfortable with this man he barely knew?  Why did he trust him when he said that the demon girl was a friend?  Why had those two gone off together to talk in hushed voices?  And who was this “Cas” that Dean had spoken of, that had betrayed his brother so badly, and why did this name seem so familiar as well?

     Quietly, Emmanuel approached Dean and the demon.  “You know what he did,” Dean was saying.  “And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride?  He could snap, he could… disappear!  Who knows?”

     Emmanuel had known it, somehow.  He had known it all along.  “I gather we know each other?”

     Dean looked upset, but the demon girl was calm.  “Just a dollop,” she said sarcastically.

     Emmanuel knew what he had to do.  “You can tell me.  I’ll be fine.”

     “How do you know?” Dean said irritably.  “You just met yourself, I’ve known you for years!”

     “You’re an angel,” Meg said.

     “I’m sorry,” Emmanuel said.  “Is that a flirtation?”  But there was something so familiar about her words that he knew it wasn’t.

     “No, it’s a species,” said the demon.  “A very powerful one.”

     He knew this.  He didn’t even need to look at Dean for confirmation.

     “She’s not lying,” Dean said.  “Okay?  That’s why you heal people,  You don’t eat.  I’m sure there’s more.”

     This explained everything.  All of the things that Daphne had said were so very strange about him…

     “Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Emmanuel said slowly.  It was a lot to process, but he knew there was more still that Dean wasn’t telling him.  “Being an angel… it sounds pleasant.”

     “It’s not, trust me,” Dean said.  “It’s bloody.  It’s corrupt.  It’s not pleasant.”

     “He would know,” the demon said.  “You used to fight together.  Bestest friends, actually.”

     “We’re… friends?” Emmanuel said.  And Dean’s face told him everything he needed to know, and he understood. “Am I… Cas?”  There was no answer, and he took this as an affirmative.  “I… I had no idea.  I don’t remember you, I’m sorry.”

     “Look… you got the juice,” the demon woman said.  “You can smite every demon in that lot.”  She gestured to the hospital where Dean’s brother was being kept, which was surrounded by demons in human meatsuits.

     He had known this too, somehow, though he didn’t want to admit it.  For the first time since he could remember, his life was starting to make sense… and suddenly, he desperately didn’t want it to.  “But I don’t remember how,” he said.

     “It’s in there,” Dean said, coming closer to him.  “I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike.”

     “I don’t know how to do that either,” Emmanuel replied frankly.  But he looked at Dean, who was so sure of him.  “All right, I’ll try,” he said.

     And as he smote the demons, he remembered.  “I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"… “Hey, assbutt!” … “I’m sorry, Dean…”

     The first thing he felt, once the demons were gone, was an overwhelming sense of guilt.

     And suddenly, a new feeling came over him, as he was enveloped suddenly in a fierce hug.  Ember.  And he remembered.  “I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today.”… “Now I understand these feelings I’ve always had for you.  For a moment I was scared I was actually attracted to a demon!”  And, more recently, “Don’t you have demons to fraternize with, or angels to betray, or Heaven to take over or something?” 

     “I remember you,” he told the group fiercely, separating painfully from her hug.  He wanted it desperately, he realized, but he didn’t deserve it.  “I remember everything.  What I did.  What I became.  Why didn’t you tell me?”

     “Because Sam is dying in there,” Dean said.

     “Because of me!” Castiel exclaimed.  “Everything!  All these people!  I shouldn’t be here.”  And he walked away, because that was all he knew how to do.

     “Cas!  Cas!” Dean and Ember yelled, chasing after him.

     “If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time!” Dean yelled after him.

     “Don’t defend me,” Castiel snapped at Dean.  “Do you have any idea the death toll in Heaven?  On Earth?”  Hundreds… “We didn’t part friends, Dean!”

     “So what?” Dean said.

     “I deserved to die,” he answered shortly.  Had that been his plan?  Was that where he was going?  “I can’t possibly fix it.  So why did I even walk out of that river?”  Why am I still here?

     “Maybe to fix it,” said Dean, and Ember nodded, reaching out to hold Castiel’s hand.  He flinched back, suddenly scared, and she put her hand in her pocket, shooting him a hurt look.  I can never fix it.

     “Wait,” said Dean.  And from the trunk, he pulled out Castiel’s old trench coat.  You saved it?  Even though I had betrayed you?

     Castiel couldn’t fix everything he had done.  But he’d do what he could to fix Sam.

     What he could do, however, was not much.  Apparently he’d done too good a job, way back when he was determined to open Purgatory.

     “What do you mean you can’t?” snapped Dean, and Ember put her head in her hands next to him.

     “I mean there’s nothing left to rebuild.”

     “Why not?” Dean asked.

     “Because it crumbled,” Castiel said.  “The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever’s happening inside his head right now.”

     “So you’re saying there’s nothing?  That he’s gonna be like that until his candle blows out?” Dean asked.

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said.  “This isn’t a problem I can make disappear.  And you know that.” This is my mess, Castiel thought.  I can take it upon myself… I owe that much to him…  “But I may be able to shift it,” Castiel told Dean.

     “Shift?” said Dean.

     “Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet.”  He sat down at Sam’s bedside, flinching at the man’s crazy eyes.  “It’s better this way,” he said.  “I’ll be fine.”

     “Cas?” Ember said, starting forward, but Castiel held up a hand, and she stopped.

     “Wait, Cas, what are you doing?” asked Dean.

     “Now Sam, this may hurt,” Castiel said, facing the scared man on the bed.  “And if I can’t tell you again, I’m sorry I ever did this to you.”  Castiel took one long look at Ember and Dean as he took in Sam’s pain.  Ember looked scared, and Castiel wondered if she was scared for Sam, or for him.  “I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today.”…

     After that, all he saw was Lucifer, for a very long time.

***Ember POV***

March 27, Day

     “I don’t like it, Dean.  Do you understand the margin for error on this plan of yours?” Ember asked.

     “Castiel needs someone to stay and watch him 24/7.  None of us trust Meg completely, over a long period of time.  So, Meg watches Castiel, you watch Meg.  Come on, you guys have always gotten along… mostly.”  Dean offered a small, hopeful smile.

     “When I said she was the only demon I wouldn’t kill on sight, that didn’t mean we got along, Dean,” Ember said derisively.  “You do remember she stabbed Bobby three years ago, right?” 

     “Look, I don’t like her either,” Dean snapped.  “But do you have a better idea?”

     Ember sighed.  “No, I don’t have a better plan.  And I know you guys need to get back to Dick.”  The three of them shared a short smile about the double entendre.  “I’m just voicing my opinion that I don’t like it.  And that you two should visit more often.”

     “We’ll try,” they both promised.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

April 24, Night

     Ember answered the phone at 12:57 PM from a dead sleep, but was wide awake within 60 seconds.  “What the hell do you mean ‘Bobby’s a ghost!?!?’”

April 27, Morning

     Ember fully intended on having a heated heart-to-heart with her father’s ghost once she came in contact with it, but as it turned out, other things took priority.  “Don’t bother coming to us, we’re coming to you,” Dean told her the following morning.  “We’ll be in Chicago in a few hours.  We’ve finally got Dick news.”  Ember smiled despite herself at the double entendre. 

     “Frank, our computer guy, got eaten, but we got an email that someone is hacking his hard drive in Chicago,” Dean continued.  “All the information he collected about the Leviathans will be there.”

     “Where in Chicago?” Ember asked suspiciously.

     “Roman Enterprises,” Dean said.

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “You’re gonna need me, aren’t you?”

     “You’re sure they can’t see you if you’re invisible?”

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  “Otherwise I never would’ve gotten the jump on that one in February.”

     “Then yeah, we’re gonna need you.  You know all those buildings they’ve been building?  Bobby says they’re trying to create the perfect food source.”

     “What?”

     “He’s building a bunch of state-of-the-art slaughterhouses, and we’re the beef,” Dean said.  “And he’s going to start churning out those turduckens I told you about, or maybe all sorts of food that makes you docile.”

     “So the humans won’t be able to put up a fight,” Ember confirmed.  “When is this happening?”

     “No idea, but Bobby says he’s bought a list of restaurants.  Once you start eating that stuff, you get addicted to it.  And, get this – they’re curing everything, Bobby says.  Cancer.  Aids.  Everything.  They’re engineering the perfect herd.”

     “Holy shit!” Ember said, taking it all in.  “That’s… everything fits!  Everything we’ve been trying to put together!  And you got all this from Bobby?”

     “Yup,” said Dean.  “He got a look at Dick’s files before he passed, but we kept missing each other.  He keeps taking ‘ghost naps’, and he can’t control them yet.  He says that’s common.”

     “I’m gonna tell him exactly what’s ‘common’,” Ember said threateningly.  “What the hell is he thinking, becoming a ghost?”

     “I don’t know,” Dean said.  “Trust me, Sam and I are throwing around the same question.  Can you catch us in Chicago after work?  I know it’s a drive from Lafayette, but-…”

     “I know, it’s commutable,” Ember said.  “I might even be able to take part of the day off, if you need me to sneak in there at night, or something.”  She gulped.

     “Nah, there’s no way anybody’s sneaking into Roman Enterprises, at night or any other time,” Dean said. “We’re gonna try to hook up with the hacker when we get to Chicago this evening, and go from there.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember liked the hacker immediately.  Her name was Charlie, and she had a lot of the same interests as Ember.  She had a tattoo which was Princess Leia in a bikini straddling a 20-sided die, and she loved Harry Potter.  Ember enjoyed talking “nerdy” with her.  This annoyed Dean, but it seemed to help calm Charlie, so Ember kept it up.

     Charlie was horribly afraid of what the brothers were asking her to do.  With Ember as a chaperone, she needed to go into Roman Enterprises and take back the hard drive.  The brothers had also asked her to go into Dick Roman’s office, where she could access his private email.

     The mission was immediately complicated by the fact that Bobby somehow managed to smuggle the flask that his ghost was tied to into Charlie’s backpack.  This was particularly frustrating for Ember, who had yet to see Bobby since coming to Chicago.  She understood that the brothers weren’t telling Charlie about Bobby or the flask, as it would just be one more thing to scare the younger girl.  She had just found out about Leviathans earlier today – this would be too much to handle.

     “Do you want us to come back?” Ember asked the brothers after Dean pointed out the flask, which he had seen remotely from the cameras in the office.

     “No, it’s too late, we only have one shot at this,” Dean said.  “Charlie, just… look, it’s a family heirloom.  It’s a good luck charm, okay, so don’t lose it.”

     Ember narrowed her eyes at the flask, but said nothing.

     On the top floor, in front of Dick Roman’s office, Ember made some noise in another location, luring the guard away from his position so that Charlie could go into the office.  She managed to get the information off of his email, then headed down to her own desk to get the hard drive and the rest of the data.

     “Are you seeing this?” she whispered into the headphones while Ember stood guard.

     “It looks like Dick stopped digging days ago,” Sam replied.

     “Why?” Charlie whispered.

     “Guess he found what he was looking for,” Dean answered.  “Can you check?”

     “Way ahead of you,” Charlie said, scrolling through emails.  “Looking at travel reports, expenses… here we go.  Something in his suitcase left Iran this week.  Spent the last 72 hours in armored cars and private planes.  Whatever it is, it’s coming here, for Dick, tonight!”

     And so, Sam and Dean set off to claim the package and switch it out with a Borax bomb, and Charlie and Ember set about clearing up the hard drive and leaving the building.  Just when they were almost done, Dick came to say hello and ask Charlie how she was doing with the hard drive.  Ember panicked.  She barely had any Borax – just enough for a quick squirt in an emergency – and she didn’t have any sort of sword on her, because no sword would attach close enough to her body to stay invisible with her clothes.  She only had a pocket knife, and that wouldn’t do for beheading.  It was best to stay silent.

     And then it became cold, and Ember knew that Bobby was with them, and she prayed that her father would keep his cool… but finally, Dick left to go upstairs.  Ember knew they had moments.  Dick must have received the package he was expecting (or what he thought was the package he was expecting), and was going upstairs, where he would hopefully be greeted by Sam and Dean’s Borax bomb.

     Unfortunately, Dick was quicker.  Ember heard the giant explosion.  Dick called ahead to lock down the doors, just as Ember and Charlie ran up to them.  Charlie ran to the doors and shook them; they could see Sam and Dean on the other side.  Just as Ember was about to attempt to break the glass on the doors, it broke on its own, and she realized that Bobby had done it.

     “Hold on, there, Charlie,” said a voice, and it was Charlie’s boss, who she said had been taken over by another Leviathan.  Dick was right behind him.  Ember made toward him, giving Charlie time to run, but he flew across the room suddenly, and hit Charlie, trapping her against the wall.

     “Bobby!” Ember said angrily.  She knew it had been her father throwing him aside to get to Dick.  That was why they hadn’t wanted him on this mission… Dick went flying as well, and Ember threw out her arm to finish breaking the glass doors and then scrambled over to help Charlie.  Sam and Dean ran through the opening Ember had left in the glass doors. 

     Dick started toward all four of them, along with a security guard.  “That would explain it,” he said.  “You’ve been hanging with the wrong crowd, kiddo.”  Ember squirted Charlie’s boss with the tiny bit of Borax she had, and Sam picked up Charlie.

     “Not so fast, Dick,” Ember heard Bobby’s voice say, and suddenly she could see him.  She barely stopped herself from crying out, “Dad!” because she knew Dick still hadn’t seen her. 

     Together, she, Sam, Dean, and Charlie all made for the car.  The last they saw of Dick Roman, he was being hurled against a stone decoration.  “You gotta do that again!  That tickled!”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember hated saying good-bye to Charlie, and she hated even more that Charlie never wanted to speak to them again.  She couldn’t say she didn’t understand it, however.  She gave Charlie some tips, in case she needed help creating another life.

     “We gotta talk,” Sam said, as soon as Charlie had gotten on the bus.

     “You bet we do,” Ember said.

     “Before we get back to the car,” Dean said, “and the flask.”

     “What the hell happened back in the lobby?” Sam asked.

     Dean shook his head.  “If I had a free shot, I’d have bitch-slapped the hell out of Dick,” Dean said.

     “Dean, he threw that man aside and broke Charlie’s arm,” Ember said.

     “He didn’t mean to do it,” Dean said.

     “Exactly,” said Sam.  “He’s not in control, not about Dick.  That was vengeful spirit crap.”

     “When we were trying to wrap up at the computer, Dick came up to ask Charlie how she was doing,” Ember filled in.  Sam and Dean looked shocked.

     “Everything was fine, and Charlie was a pro,” Ember continued.  “And Dick wasn’t on to us yet, but I could feel it get all cold… I knew he was trying to keep control.  But what’s going to happen when he can’t, Dean?  Because we both know he can’t keep it up forever… ghosts are a one-way street, you know that.”

     “I know,” Dean said, “But it’s still Bobby.”

     “But if he really goes there, he won’t be anymore,” Sam said.  “And then we won’t be able to pull him back.  And then what are we supposed to do?”

     “I know,” Dean admitted, and they were all silent for a second.  “Look, let’s just figure out what that thing we stole is, and then we’ll figure out what the hell to do with Bobby.”

     This seemed like a good plan to Ember.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     At 8:00 the next night, Ember, Sam, and Dean broke open the stolen parcel from Dick, which turned out to be a tablet of some sort, with writing on it.  It was almost comical.  Dean and Sam both had safety glasses, and when Dean first hammered on the stone surrounding the tablet, a bolt of thunder crashed outside.

     “That sound like somebody saying ‘No, wait, stop’ to you?” Dean asked Sam and Ember.

     “Uh… yeah,” said Sam and Ember.

     The group thought for a minute.  “Oh well,” said Dean, and Ember rolled her eyes.

     “This is the reason we broke up,” Ember whispered to Sam, who, in turn, rolled his eyes.

     Suddenly, as Dean finished cracking open the tablet, an almighty thunderstorm began outside.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Late the next morning, Ember was headed south when she got a call from Dean.

     “We’re following you down,” he said.  “We’re just about an hour behind you.”

     “What?  Why?  I thought you guys were going back to Rufus’ cabin to hole up?”

     “Meg called,” said Sam, who was on speakerphone.  “Cas is awake.” 

     On the plus side, Castiel was awake, and able to explain to them what was going on.  He explained that what they had found was “the handwriting of Metatron… he’s an angel.  He’s the scribe of God.  He took down dictation when creation was being formed.”

     On the minus side, Castiel was unable to read the tablet.  “It’s not meant for angels,” he told them.  Due to Lucifer’s interference, he was also completely crazy.  “Did you know a cat’s penis is sharply barbed along its shaft?  I know for a fact that the females were not consulted about that.”

     In the end, however, Castiel, Meg, Sam, and Dean ended up leaving the hospital along with Kevin, a prophet who had been drawn to the tablet.  The five of them headed for Rufus’ cabin, while Ember switched apartments (yet again) and headed back to work.

     “You’ll let me know when you figure out what it says?” Ember asked them.

     “Yeah, we’ll let you know as soon as we know anything,” Dean promised.

***Ember POV***

May 12, Day

     Ember didn’t see Sam and Dean again for over two weeks.  During that time, Castiel and Meg both left Rufus’ cabin for different reasons, and Kevin headed back home with two angels.  Fortunately, however, it was not before he had been able to translate the tablet for Sam and Dean.

     To send the Leviathans (or, at least, Dick) back to Purgatory, Sam and Dean explained to Ember that they would need “a bone of a righteous mortal washed in three bloods of the fallen,” which apparently meant “blood of a fallen angel, blood of the Ruler of Fallen Humanity, and blood of a Father of Fallen Beasts.”  Castiel gave the brothers a bottle of his blood before he left, which took care of the fallen angel.  Crowley (the “Ruler of Fallen Humanity”) agreed to provide Sam and Dean with his blood only after they had obtained blood from the other two.  Crowley also tipped them off that the Alpha vampire, the only known Father of Fallen Beasts, was currently in Hoople, North Dakota.

     Originally, the brothers had turned down Ember’s offer to meet up with them in Hoople, but she ended up heading in that direction anyway.  First, she identified when her clients (and then, later in the day, the staff members) had become docile and were beginning to act like what Dean had described.

     “It’s in the corn syrup,” Sam explained when he called Ember, who never ate the company food and always brought her lunch from home.  “You can’t avoid it in the stores.”

     “I guess it finally happened,” she told Sam over the phone.  “We knew it would, eventually.  I’m bringing all the food I’ve stored in my cabinets, and I’m heading your way.  It’s no use staying here, anyway… they won’t even miss me.”

     “She says she’s bringing all the food she’s been storing,” Sam repeated to Dean, who was driving.

     “Thank God!” Ember heard Dean yell.  “Ask her if she saved any pie!”

     “I think I may have a pie in here, a frozen one,” Ember said.  “It’ll take me a couple of days, though.  I’m sure as hell not jumping on a plane with these stoned morons, so I’ll have to drive.”

     “The sooner you leave, the better,” Sam said.  “In another couple of days, you won’t get by with driving the speed limit anymore.  The more time passes, the slower people will drive, and the less people will drive overall.  And stay out of Leviathan territory.”

     “I know, Sam,” Ember said sarcastically.  “I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     It was nearly two days before Ember met the boys in Missoula, Montana, where they had tracked the Alpha vampire to his mansion.  “Are you sure you just want to charge in there, machetes blazing?” Sam asked.  “Last time it took a dozen hunters to take down the Alpha, and most of them didn’t make it out.”

     Dean shrugged.  “Yeah, well, you got a better idea?”

     None of them did.

     “Ember, are you sure you want to go along with us on this one?” Sam asked.

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but practically everyone I know is moving at a snail’s pace,” Ember said.  “My affairs have been settled since before the Apocalypse.  I know the risks.”  She was more scared than she said – it had been a long time since she’d done this.  Still, she knew what she had to do. 

     They crept slowly up to the door to the mansion – but it was already open.  Ember had a syringe full of infected blood with her, and she was invisible, behind the two brothers.  “Maybe we’re too late,” Dean said slowly as Sam crept inside.  No sooner had he said it, however, than Sam was pulled aside by an unseen hand, and Dean by a separate set of hands.  Ember ran to them, ready to shoot the attacking vampires with the infected blood, but she realized that the vampires weren’t attempting to kill Dean and Sam, but to lead them elsewhere.  So, Ember followed.

     Sam, Dean, their captors, and Ember wound up in a large, open room with high windows.  There was a long table in the middle of the room, at the head of which sat a man who fit Dean’s descriptions of the Alpha vampire.

     “We’re here to talk.  That’s it,” said Sam.

     The Alpha vampire laughed.  “Now that my guys have taken your blades and your syringes of tainted blood.  Is that what you mean?”  And then he looked right at Ember.  “I can see you too, girl.  That’s a nice talent you have there.  But you haven’t used your weapon yet… perhaps you are here to talk, then.”  He seemed to consider a moment.  “I suppose even if you were just here to talk, bringing along weapons is only smart.”

     Ember still didn’t show herself.  The Alpha vampire might not seem inclined to attack unless she attacked first, but she doubted she could say the same for his two cronies, who were sniffing the air in vain.  She had worn a blend of scents – she wasn’t stupid.

     “Well, we figured you might hold a grudge,” said Dean to the Alpha, who was still eyeing Ember.  She eyed him back, then broke eye contact in deference, and he smiled, nodding.

     “And why would I?” said the Alpha, turning his gaze back to Sam and Dean.  “Because you captured me, tortured me, sold me to the King of Hell?”

     “That was more our Grandpa,” Dean said fairly, and one of the other vampires in the room shoved him forward, causing him to hit his head on the table.  Ember jumped forward, and the Alpha vampire stood up from his chair threateningly, but then everyone stopped.  The tension resumed.

     “I’m going to peel off your faces and drink you slowly,” the Alpha said.  Ember knew he would at least listen to their pleas, however; he would have already disposed of them otherwise.

     “Just listen,” Sam said, obviously thinking along the same lines.  “You need us!”

     “Oh, yes,” the Alpha said.  “I am thirsty.”

     “The plague!” Sam yelled.  “We know what it is!  What do you know about Leviathan?”

     The Alpha stopped, and smiled slowly.  “A bit,” he said, non-committally.  Still entertaining them, then.

     “You know they’re poisoning the food supply?” Sam asked.

     “Roman didn’t mention that when we met for dinner last fall,” the Alpha said.  This surprised Ember, and she knew that the Alpha, at least, could see this on her face.  “We made lots of plans.  We are on excellent terms, he and I.”

     “You sure about that?” Dean asked.  “Did he mention he was going to, uh… Maui Wowie the human population?”  The Alpha had glanced at Ember, and she knew that all three vampires and all of the humans in the room were scoping out possible exit strategies.  She had two syringes, one in either hand, which was enough to take down two of the vampires who couldn’t pinpoint her exact location.

     “Oh, of course,” the Alpha said.  “He said grabbing a snack would be easier than ever.”

     “He said you’d all live together, didn’t he?” Sam said, as Ember came to the same realization.  “You really believe him?  You think your children are dying by accident?  There is pesticide in the formula!”  As he said this, Ember held up one of the syringes, pointing at it.  It’s not vampire blood… it’s human blood.  She knew he would get the message.

     “It suits you to think so,” the Alpha vampire said.  “You need me on your side.”  But he took a long look at the syringe in Ember’s hand as he said it.

     “Look, we’re not the ones burning from the inside out,” said Sam.  “Think about it, whatever deal he made with you was crap!  Trust us!”

     “Why are you telling me this?” asked the Alpha.  Ember smiled ruefully.  She supposed he hadn’t survived this long being stupid.

     “Because we can stop Dick,” Sam said emphatically.  “Stop all of it, we just… we need your blood – for the weapon.”

     The Alpha chuckled again.  “So now you want to prevent the extermination of the vampire race?”

     “No,” Dean said, looking seriously at the Alpha.  “But it beats going down with you.”

     The vampire looked as though he might be considering this, but was interrupted by a young boy.  Ember knew the Alpha kept virgins to supply him with virgin blood – this must have been one of them.  The young boy informed him that Edgar was here.  Ember looked at Dean, before remembering that he couldn’t see her.  Dean and Sam were shooting each other similar meaningful looks, however.  This could either be very good, or very bad.

     “Wow, what a funny coincidence,” Dean said.  “Alright, we need soap, cleanser, anything with Borax in it.  We need knives.”

     “Put them in the study,” the Alpha said. 

     “No, wait,” said Sam.

     “Word of advice, boys,” said the Alpha.  “You do not live through centuries of fire and ice and continental divide by jumping to conclusions.”  He was speaking to the brothers, but he was looking at Ember.  She understood – she was to follow them, if she wanted them left alive.  He would consider Sam’s words.

     “Why didn’t you do something?” Dean yelled at her when they were all alone in the study.

     “And get us all killed?” Ember snapped.  “It was three of them, including the Alpha, against three of us, and we’d lost all of the element of surprise except mine.  And he’s considering our words, Dean.  We need to regroup and think of another plan.”

     “Ember’s right,” Sam said. 

     “Any way out of here?” asked Dean, who was looking for a way to get back through the doors.

     “Nothing,” Sam confirmed from the windows.  “Do you think Edgar’s here for the same reason we are?” Sam asked.  “I mean, if they figured out that we’re here to get Alpha blood for a weapon…”

     “I think any way you slice it, you got Pac Man and True Blood in the same room, and that’s bad news,” Dean said.  “I mean, he’s not stupid, why the hell do you think he locked us in here?”

     “Dean, we’re his enemy,” Sam said.  “I mean, they’re like… monster cousins or something.  Who would you give the benefit of the doubt to?”

     “Edgar will have to answer to what we said,” Ember reminded the brothers.  “The Alpha would be stupid not to ask him about it, and it’s a little too late for him to lie.  If we’re lucky, they’ll come to blows.”

     “But maybe the Leviathans are poisoning the vamps on accident.  Maybe they’ll fix it,” Sam said.

     “I think you got the oldest monster on Earth thinking that he can hold his own because he always has,” Dean said. 

     “Edgar’s gonna eat him alive,” said Sam.

     “I’m not so sure about that,” mumbled Ember, shaking her head.  They were silent for a moment.

     “Hey,” Dean said, picking up the needle to an IV nearby.  “Think we can pick a lock with this?”

     “But we only have Vamptonite for two of us,” Sam said.

     “Do we?” Dean asked, lifting up his pantleg.  In his sock, he had stored an extra syringe.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean, Ember, and Sam all managed to stab a variety of different vampires with the Vamptonite on their way through the mansion.  They could hear snarls and yells from the large room they had been in earlier.  “Guess the Alpha found out what the real plan was,” Dean grumbled.  They entered the large room just as Edgar was about to eat the Alpha vampire, but Ember ran up and beheaded the Leviathan first.

    “Grab a glass, we’re juicing this freak,” Dean said, but one of the female virgins, the one who had led Sam and Dean to the Alpha in the first place, yelled, “No!”

     “Stay back!” said Dean, but the Alpha vampire threw him backward.

     “Leave her alone,” the Alpha said.  “She’s been through quite enough.”

     “Now that’s rich, coming from the guy who took her off the swing-set!” yelled Sam.

     “Do you want to do this fight?” the Alpha asked them, looking from Sam and then to Ember, who was still invisible.  “Or do you want my blood?”  He cut his wrist, and bled into one of the goblets from the table.  He held it out to them.  “For taking care of Edgar.  Now go.”

     Sam and Dean looked at Ember, and then at each other.  “What about the little boy?” asked Sam determinedly.

     “Are you joking?” the Alpha said, scoffing at them.

     “Do we look like we’re joking?” Dean asked.  “How many other kids you got in here, you freak?”  Ember looked at him, and in that moment, she remembered that she loved him.  Truthfully, nobody else she’d dated – nobody she’d ever dated – had compared to Dean.

     But this wasn’t the time for that.  The Alpha sighed.  “At the moment, just him.”

     The Alpha looked again at Sam and Dean’s determined faces.  “Emily,” he said, “Help Allan with his coat, he’s leaving with Sam and Dean.”  He handed Dean the goblet of blood.  “Now take it.”

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

May 18, Day

     Allan was 12.  He was the sweetest young man Ember had ever known, but he was very traumatized.  Ember had almost hoped that he had been orphaned, because she liked him immediately… but it wasn’t meant to be.  He had family who was looking for him, and Ember, Dean, and Sam were forced to sneak out of the police station due to a misunderstanding.

     To make matters worse, Bobby had disappeared.  The brothers had not allowed him on their last mission, and he was clearly angry about it.  He’d managed to steal the flask out of the safe, and ran away with it to who knew where.  Ember was angry with her father all over again, and (like the brothers) she knew there was a good possibility she may never see him again.  It was almost as though he had died yet again, and she was very upset.

     Ember did what she normally did when she got upset, and threw herself into work.  In this case, “work” meant “hunting.”  Over the next couple of days, Sam, Dean, and Ember worked on the third of the four ingredients necessary to kill Dick Roman:  bone of a righteous man.

    Their first idea was to call Castiel.  Although his ability to string thoughts together in the present was iffy at best, he seemed to have a fairly decent recollection of events in the past.  They hoped that he would be able to point them toward someone who was known up in Heaven for having been extremely righteous when they lived… preferably someone whose grave was clearly labeled and had not yet been robbed.

     When Ember and Dean attempted it, Sam was busy at a health food store trying to grab appropriate food.  The attempt was short-lived, though.  Castiel appeared naked in Dean’s car, with nearly 30 bees swarming around him.

     “Cas!” Dean cried as he and Ember leapt out of the car.

     “What the fuck!” Ember yelled.

     “What is wrong?” Castiel said, staring at them out the window, perplexed.  “Aren’t they magnificent?  It’s true perfection, really, the way they each carry out their jobs and live to be harmonious, all consistently working nonstop for the bigger picture!”

     “Look, Cas, uh, maybe you should go back to where you were before and put some clothes on, and give the bees back, and then head back here.  Do you think you can do that?”  Ember was trying not to look at Castiel’s nakedness, though what she had seen had been rather impressive.

     Castiel looked back at her through a haze of bees, which did not seem to be stinging him.  “Oh, I suppose,” he said, and disappeared again.

     He did not come back.  In the end, they decided to take bones from a nunnery.  They chose a nun named Sister Mary Constant, who had lived 83 years of quiet, nun-like goodness, according to the church’s records.  “Let’s bone this nun,” Dean said, breaking into her crypt.  Ember rolled her eyes, but giggled.  Just in case, she and Dean dug up two more additional nuns with righteous records in case Sister Mary Constant’s bones didn’t work.

     When Ember and the brothers summoned Crowley, however, Crowley did not appear.  Instead, they heard a knock on the door, which turned out to be Meg, with Castiel.  Castiel informed them that Kevin, the prophet, had been kidnapped by Leviathans., before going once again on a random tangent about monkeys and cosmetics.

     “Hey!  Focus, is Kevin alive?” Dean yelled to Castiel, clapping his hands in frustration.

     “I don’t want to fight!” Castiel shot back at him.

     “Nobody is asking you to fight, Cas,” Ember said to him gently, though Dean gave her the stink-eye.

     “They took him,” Castiel answered.  “He’s alive.”  He breathed a sigh of relief.  “Wow, I felt so much responsibility, but it’s in your hands, now!”

     “Wait, hold on-…” started Dean, but Meg had spied the summoning on the table. 

     “Guys, what’s all that?” she asked.

     “We called Crowley,” admitted Sam.

     “You what?” said Meg.  Ember knew Meg was only teaming up with them because she was on the run from Crowley.

     “Don’t worry,” Dean said.  “He never showed.”

     “What do you mean never-…”

     “Do you see him anywhere?” Dean asked.  “He stood us up!”

     “Well, I’m sorry about that, but I’m outie,” Meg said.  “He could still sh-…”

     “Show up at any time,” finished Crowley, appearing suddenly from the corner.  “Hello, boys.  Sorry I’m late.  This is an embarrassment of riches.”

     All five of them looked at Crowley with trepidation.  “Stay, won’t you?” he asked Meg.  “There’s really nowhere to run.”  She attempted to make a break for it, but he rebelled her.  “Don’t you even think of smoking out, pussycat.  I’ve got eyes all over the place.”

     “Leave her be,” said Castiel in his low voice.

     “Castiel,” the King of Hell said, drawing near to the angel.  “When last we spoke, you – well, enslaved me.  I’m confused.  Why aren’t you dead?”

     “I don’t know,” the angel said honestly.

     “Well, do you want to be?  ‘Cause I can help with that,” Crowley said.

     “Alright, enough,” Dean said.

     “Hey, watch it,” said Ember.

     “It’s enough when I say,” said Crowley.  “I came here to help you.  I find out you’ve been lying to me – harboring an angel, and not just any angel – the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth!”

     “Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?” Meg asked.

     “You bore me,” said Crowley to Meg.  “You know that?  You have no sense of poetry.”  He turned to Castiel.  “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?”

     “Well, I’m still, uh…. Honing my communication strategy,” Castiel said.  “You know, I haven’t even been back to Heaven.  I keep thinking, there’s no insects up there, but here we have trillions.  You know, they’re making honey, and silk, and… miracles, really.”

     Crowley looked at Dean, who shrugged.  “What are you talking about?” he asked Castiel suspiciously.

     “Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess,” said Castiel.  “Here,” he said, offering something from his pocket to Crowley.  “I can offer you a token, if you like.  It’s honey.  I collected it myself.”

     “At least that explains about the bees, but I still don’t know why you were naked,” Ember commented.

     Crowley shot her a strange look, and then said, “You’re off your rocker.”

     “After he survived the Leviathans, he took on all of Sam’s pain from Lucifer,” Ember said.

     Crowley nodded to show that he understood.  “Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

     “Look, did you come here to doggy-punch your old grudges, or to help us end Dick?” Dean asked.  “Pick a battle!”

     “Well, I’m vexed,” Crowley said.  “I’d like to do both.  But where’s the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur?”  He looked at Dean and Sam.  “Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose.  Meanwhile, a prezzie.”  He pulled out a vial of blood from his suit.

     “Really?” Sam asked.  “Just… .boxed up and ready to go?”

     “I’m a model of efficiency,” Crowley said.

     “Is that right?” Sam asked.  “Then why were you late?”

     “Dick had me in a Devil Trap,” Crowley said plainly. 

     The entire group looked at each other.  “He’s not an idiot,” Crowley said by way of explanation.  “He knows what you two are after.”

     “So what did he offer you?” Sam asked.

     “A fair deal,” Crowley said.  “In exchange for giving you the wrong blood.”  He shook the vial, smiling.  “It’s demon… but is it mine?”  He continued to shake it, then admitted, “It’s my blood.  Real deal.”

     “And why should we trust you?” Dean asked.

     “Good God, don’t, never trust anyone,” Crowley said.  “A lesson I learned from my last business partner.”  He stared daggers at Castiel.

     “All right,” said Dean.  “Give us the blood.”

     “Certainly,” said Crowley.  “Ooooh, bonus.  Meg?  I’m gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you ‘til you’re jerky.”  Castiel moved toward the small group.  “But not yet,” he added.  “Cas can have you for now.  Hilariously, it seems he’d be upset at losing you.  And the boys need Cas to get Dick.  Don’t they, Cas?”

     “I- I don’t fight anymore,” Castiel said, looking downward.

     “Come on,” said Crowley.  “Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly you’re vital.”  And then Crowley threw the vial of blood to Sam and disappeared.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember and the brothers weren’t entirely sure if the blood and bone recipe had worked, but they headed off to the Leviathan’s corn syrup company, Sucrocorp, anyway to attempt to send Dick back to Purgatory.  Upon arriving and wiring into the security system from the van outside like Charlie had taught them, they realized a huge flaw in their plan – Dick Roman was everywhere.  He was at the desk in the lobby.  He was in a meeting with several constituents.  He was roaming the hallways.

     “What the hell?” asked Ember.  But then she spotted something that made her even more alarmed.  “Bobby.”

     “What?” asked Sam and Dean together.

     “The maid over there.  With the knife?”  Ember pointed to a woman dressed in a pink maid’s uniform and carrying a knife, headed into Sucrocorp.  “That’s Bobby.  She’s possessed.”

     Sam grabbed the binoculars to look closer.  “That’s the maid,” he said.  “From the motel.”

     “What motel?” asked Dean.

     “The one we stayed in when we went after the Alpha vampire, pay attention!” Ember snapped.

     “Look, just wait here,” Sam said, getting out of the car, and Ember followed him.

     “Are you out of your mind?” asked Dean.

     “You’ve got the weapon, and eyes on Dick, plural,” Sam said.  “I’ll take care of Bobby.”

     “Sam!  Ember!  Hey!” Dean yelled, but both of them raced off without him, Ember going invisible and struggling to keep up with Sam’s long steps.

     Upon catching up with Bobby, Ember grabbed the maid from behind, and Sam jumped in front of her.  “Bobby.  I know you’re in there.  Listen to me, there are cameras everywhere.  There’s one right there.”  He pointed upward.  “Stop, okay?  You’re gonna get her killed.”

     Bobby attempted to pry himself away from both Sam and Ember, but he didn’t have the strength to tangle with one on either side.  In the scuffle, he flipped them around, so that he was holding Ember up against a large van, and Sam was attempting to pull him off of her.  The maid closed her hands around Ember’s throat, and suddenly Bobby yelled, “No!” and let go of the maid, who fell on the ground haphazardly.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     The next morning, the group awoke in low spirits back at Rufus’ cabin.  The previous night had been a complete bust – there was no clear way to get to Dick Roman, and Bobby had disappeared, though they still had his flask.  The only good news was that the maid would make a full recovery.

     “Tell me again why you turned tail for some maid?” Meg said.  “You were right there.”

     “Shut up Meg,” said Dean.

     “Bite me,” said Ember.

     “Because Dick made more Dicks,” Sam said dejectedly.  “He must’ve kept a chunk of the original Dick Roman somewhere,” Sam said.  “They’d all have to touch it.”

     “Crowley was pretty sure Castiel could help,” Ember said, and they all turned to face the angel, who was washing the dishes.

     “I can’t help,” he said, clearly upset.  “You understand, I can’t.  I destroyed… everything, and I will destroy everything again.  Can we please just leave it at that?”

     They all looked at each other.  “No,” Dean said, standing.  “No we can’t.”

     “Dean-…” Ember and Sam started, but Dean ignored them.

     “We can’t leave it,” Dean insisted.  “You let these friggin’ things in.  So you don’t get to make a sandwich.  Nobody cares that you’re broken, Cas.  Clean up your mess!”

     “You know,” Castiel said, looking thoughtful.  “We should play Twister.”  And he disappeared.

     “Nice,” Meg said.  “You scared off the Empire’s only hope.”

     “Meaning?” snapped Dean.

     “Did it occur to you that every one of those things was in Cas?” Meg asked.  “He knows them.  He can see past the meat suits.”  She turned to Ember.  “Better even than you.”

     “So he’ll be able to spot the real… fake Dick Roman,” Sam clarified.

     “Gold star, sugarpants,” Meg said.  “Too bad he’s fruit loops, you might’ve had a chance.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     That evening, Bobby showed up.  “Idgits,” he said, and they spun around to face him.

     “Bobby,” Sam said.  “We didn’t know if you-…”

     “Well, you should’ve,” Bobby said.  “You’ve got the flask.”  He shook his head.  “Dumb.  You should’ve burned it right off.”

     “Bobby-…” Ember and Dean started.

     “I’m still jonesing to go back, grab some poor bastard… kamikaze ‘em goin’ after Dick,” Bobby admitted to the boys.  “It’s bad.”  He stopped for a second, looking at Dick Roman’s face on the screen of Dean’s computer.  He turned rigid and looked very angry, but appeared to almost shake himself when Dean shut his computer.

     “Let’s be real,” Bobby continued.  “I damn near killed you.  And that woman.”

     “It wasn’t your fault, Bobby, not really,” Sam said.

     “Right,” said Bobby.  “That’s just what ghosts turn into.”  He looked away from them all.  “I really bet the farm I could outsmart that,” he admitted.

     “It’s not that easy,” Ember said, and Bobby looked at her carefully.

     “So what’s it feel like?” Dean asked, and Bobby whirled to face him.

     “What?  Going vengeful?” he asked.  He shook his head.  “It’s an itch you can’t scratch out.”  Bobby looked at his daughter.  “I don’t know how you’ve done it all these years, Ember.  Maybe we all don’t give you enough credit.”

     “It gets easier with time,” Ember said, shrugging.

     He shook his head.  “Look… I’m done.  I can’t do it.”  He looked at all of them.  “Go get Dick,” he said.  “But don’t do it because you think it’ll scratch the itch.  Do it ‘cause it’s the job.”  They all looked at each other, and Bobby continued.  “And when it’s your time… go.”

     Without speaking, the four of them seemed to come to some kind of agreement.  Sam and Dean gathered a fire, and Ember held out her hand to grasp Bobby’s, preparing to talk to her father one last time.  She could feel the coldness of his hand, but couldn’t quite seem to grab it.  She could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes.  “I love you, Dad,” she whispered.

     “I love you too, girl,” he said.  “I love all you guys.  Here’s to… running into you guys on the other side.  Only… not too soon.  Alright?”

     And then the flask began to burn, and Bobby was gone. 

     And when Ember looked down, she realized that the hand in hers was Dean’s.

***Castiel POV***

May 20, Evening

     Castiel sat in the trees outside the cabin playing Connect Four by himself.  The games helped him focus.  They helped him think about less important things, and he thought perhaps this helped him focus on the more important things when he had to think about them.  But perhaps this was wrong, and things were upside down.

     Ember was coming near him, and Ember scared him far more now than she used to, because he didn’t trust himself to control his attraction to her anymore.  “I don’t like when you come near me,” he said to her honestly.

     She gave him a hurt look.  “Whatever, asshole, I’ll leave then.”

     “Wait!” he said, confused.  “Did I say something to hurt you?”

     She looked at him strangely, then shook her head.  “Cas, you just told me you didn’t like having me around.”

     “No,” he said frankly.  “I said I don’t like it when you come near me.  I know what I said.  I don’t trust myself.  You smell good.”

     Ember smiled, and, alarmingly, sat on the ground right in front of Castiel.  He thought his message had been clear.

     “What are you doing?”

     “I trust you,” she said.

     Castiel squirmed backward, just slightly, so that her smell wasn’t quite so intoxicating, and she didn’t follow.  Instead, she said, “Cas, without you, we can’t tell which Leviathan is Dick.”

     “I won’t fight.”

     “Fine.  I get that.  But Cas, you can do math, right?  And probabilities?”

     “I still know my math.”  He thought for a second.  “Did you know that all animals use simple math in some way?”

     “Cas,” Ember said, and his focus whipped back to the half-demon girl.  “With you, this plan might fail.  Without you, this plan will fail.  Got that?”

     “I don’t trust-…”

     “You fucked up, Cas,” Ember said, moving near him again.  “It’s called forgiveness.  Isn’t that what you angels are supposed to be about?  I’m pretty sure there was something in the Bible about God being about forgiveness, at least.  Or, in the new testament, anyway.  Look, the point is, I trust you.  You should trust yourself.”

     And then she did the kindest thing she had ever done for him, and kissed him on the cheek.  He scrambled backward from her again, alarmed.

    “See?” Ember said.  “Trust yourself.  We need you.”

     And she walked away, the mark of her lips still burning the angel’s cheek.

***Ember POV***

May 21

     Once Castiel was on board, the plan was simple, and perfectly executed, for the most part.  Meg and Ember drove the Impala right through the Sucrocorp sign on the front lawn, drawing the fire of all Leviathans nearby.  Dean, Cas, Sam, Jo, and Ellen snuck into Sucrocorp the back way.  Dean and Cas went to kill Dick, and Sam, Jo, and Ellen went to free Kevin Tran.

     Once Ember and Meg were done beheading Leviathans on the front lawn, Ember headed back inside the building, invisible.  By the time Ember caught up with Dean and Cas, they had cornered Dick in the laboratory.  Dean had what Ember knew to be a fake copy of the bone bathed in the 3 bloods of the fallen, and was holding it up in front of Dick.

     “You sure I’m even me, Dean?” he was saying.

     “No,” Dean said.  “But he is.”  Dean gestured at Castiel, who was behind him.  “See, here’s the thing when dealing with Crowley, he will always find a way to bone you.”

     “This meeting is over,” said Dick, but Ember slammed the door shut.

     In the second it took Dick to look over at the mysteriously shut door, Castiel had rushed Dick, and Dean had stabbed him with the fake bone.  Dick sent Castiel hurtling into Ember, and pulled out the fake bone from his chest.

     “Did you really think you could trump me?” Dick said.

     “Honestly?” Dean said.  “No.”  And he stabbed him with the real bone, right through the neck.  “Figured we’d have to catch you off guard,” he explained.

     Dick began to scream, and then he began to pulse.  Ember backed toward the door, but Dean and Castiel seemed frozen where they were.  Sam, Jo, Ellen, and Kevin Tran ran through the door Ember had slammed shut, colliding with Ember in a heap.  And then, suddenly, Castiel, Dean, and Dick were gone.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

ONE YEAR LATER

     Over a year had passed since Dean and Castiel had sent the Leviathans back to Purgatory.  Ember had a busy life.  She talked people down from suicide (or homicide) on a daily basis, and supervised several employees who did the same.  It wasn’t the same as hunting, of course.  There were fistfights, though, and there was a lot of drama, and she was saving people, so some days it felt about the same.

     Ember was 30, nearly 31.  In the year since Dean and Cas disappeared, she had settled down in a modest two-bedroom apartment and decided to become licensed as a foster parent.  She wasn’t finding a man anytime soon, anyway.  Frankly, none of them could measure up to Dean.  Still, she desperately wanted children, so this seemed like the best course of action.

     She still ran into occasional demons.  There had been one demon in the past year, and one Leviathan, which scared her far more.  Overall, however, her home life was quiet, and her work life was stressful, and she spent time with friends on the weekends.

     Ember rarely spoke to Sam anymore.  For the first month after Dean and Castiel’s disappearance, they had spoken nearly daily as Ember attempted to follow up on leads about Dean and Castiel.  There had been relatively little to follow up on, however.  Dean was not able to be summoned and so was not a ghost.  Crowley and the demons, even under torture, promised that Dean and Castiel were not in Hell, which (by process of elimination) meant that they had gone to either Heaven or Purgatory.  The Leviathan Ember captured said the same.  

     Ember and Sam desperately hoped that Dean was in Heaven and not Purgatory.  They prayed to a variety of angels in Heaven, as well as several non-specific prayers, to give some sort of sign as to whether or not Dean was in Heaven, but got no result.  Ember even managed to locate a reaper and asked if Dean was in Heaven.  “It is not my business to know which humans are in Heaven,” the reaper told Ember.  “I did not reap him, but I can’t tell you more than that.”

     “You’re an angel, right?  You have angel radio?”  Ember begged.  “Surely they’ve said something about Castiel.”

     “The fallen angel has disappeared.  He has not been seen since the Leviathan were vanquished.”

     “Thank you,” Ember told the reaper.

     “Do not come back to this realm until it is time for your reaping,” the reaper told her.  “You are in good favor with Heaven… do not tempt us.”

     Without any confirmation on whether or not Dean was in Heaven, Ember turned to searching in Purgatory, but this was even more difficult.  The spell Castiel had performed required a lunar eclipse and the blood of a Purgatory native.  Short of selling her soul to Crowley (and even then she wasn’t sure she could succeed), she didn’t see a possible way to obtain the blood of a Purgatory native.

     By the time Ember had done all of this research, it was nearly October.  Each day, Sam had seemed less and less interested in the search for Dean.  “We promised him that if we got separated, we wouldn’t look for him,” Sam said one day in late October. 

     “But-…”

     “I hate that he’s gone, Ember, you know I do!” Sam said.  “But he wouldn’t have wanted us to make a deal with a crossroads demon, and the angels aren’t responding, and the Alpha vampire is our only lead left.  I’ve got hunters all over the US looking for him, but until we hear something, I don’t see how much more we can do.”

     Ember knew Sam was right, but she was also surprised to hear that he was giving up.  She felt hurt, and insulted, and perhaps even guilty – if Dean’s brother wasn’t actively searching, she, as his ex-girlfriend, should have probably given up a long time ago. 

     Ultimately, Ember turned her attention to making plans to become a parent.  Sam, she knew, had a girlfriend and a dog in another state.  Over time, therefore, Ember found herself talking to Sam less and less.  First it was once every few days, then once a week, then once every two weeks, and, eventually, perhaps once a month.

     Until October 3^rd, when Dean Winchester showed back up in her life.

***Ember POV***

October 3

     The phone rang.  Christ, it’s Sunday morning, Ember thought, rolling over in her bed in an attempt to go back to sleep.

     The phone continued to ring.  “Oh, alright,” Ember grumbled, picking it up and pressing to answer.

     “Ember?” said the voice on the other end.

     Ember’s heart stopped.  “Who - who is this?”

     “It’s me,” Dean said.  “Look, I just sprung out of Purgatory.  Do you know-…”

     “Dean, what the fuck!  Purgatory?!?!  What happened?  Where’s Cas?  Where are you now?”

     “Whoa, slow down!  I’m in Maine.  It’s a long story.  I’m okay.  None of Sam’s numbers are working, though.  Do you know where he is?”

     “Yeah, I’ve got an updated number.  He’s in Texas these days.”

     “Yeah?  What’s he working on there?”

     He has no idea what’s happened.  “Um… look, a lot has happened while you were gone.  Maybe we should talk first.  I’ll give you Sam’s number, but will you drop by on your way to Texas?  I can meet you halfway if you can hitch a ride.”

     “Nah… I can hitch the whole way, don’t worry,” Dean said.  “It’ll take me a couple of days, but I can be in Lafayette by Tuesday or Wednesday.”

     “Okay,” Ember said, still in disbelief.

     She hung up the phone, and continued to lay in bed, hoping for sleep.  She was fairly certain, however, that that ship had sailed.

***Dean POV***

October 5, Evening

     Dean had come to a lot of realizations in Purgatory.

     One of these realizations was that no matter what it took, he was going to get Ember back.  The Leviathans were gone, and he was out of Purgatory.  If she wanted him to settle down, he would settle down.  He preferred not to, of course, but he had been right back when they were dating:  he had lost too many people that he loved to let Ember out of his grasp when what they had had been so perfect.  Bobby and Castiel would have liked the idea of him settling down, anyway.

     Dean was anxiously awaiting his first sight of Ember, but when her door swung open she was nowhere to be seen.  “Holy water, silver, salt, Borax,” her voice commanded out of nowhere, and all four were provided in the doorway. 

     He had forgotten how smart she was, and how good at this.  After he had given himself the run down, he said, “Your turn.”  She became visible again, and quickly began the “holy water, silver, salt, Borax” routine.  Her hair was longer again, like it had been the year they’d settled down together.  She was less muscular than she used to be, but no less thin.  She wore a tank top and black leggings, and she looked at him with suspicion in her beautiful dark eyes.  He thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

     “What?” she said, misunderstanding his staring.

     “Nothing, it’s…” he trailed off.  “I’ve just been…”

     She seemed to understand.  “How long has it been since you had a cheeseburger, Dean Winchester?”

     A cheeseburger sounded very, very good right now.  Ember rolled her eyes.  “Let’s go out, then,” she said.  “I’m driving, no complaints.  Let me get changed.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Dean had forgotten how much he liked cheeseburgers.  He had thought about them in Purgatory, but what he remembered barely compared to the actual taste.  When he’d come back from Hell, Castiel had reunited his soul with an already prepared body, and he hadn’t been nearly this hungry or thirsty.  He ate his fill of expensive cheeseburgers, and promised Ember he would pay her back when he got the chance. 

     “Jesus, Dean, don’t worry about it.  I’m just glad you’re back.  Speaking of which, what took you two days to get from Maine to Indiana?  You should’ve been able to hitch that in less than a day.”

     Dean thought for a moment, considering how much of the story of his time in Purgatory he should tell her.  Ultimately, he decided on some of the truth.  If he ever wanted her back in his life, he needed to trust her.  That was part of how things had gotten messed up the first time, he knew.  “I, uh, found a friend in Purgatory,” Dean said.  “And when I got out, there was some unfinished business I had to take care of in Louisiana, for him, before I did anything else.”

     “A friend?” Ember asked, obviously curious.

     Dean pursed his lips, suddenly regretting beginning this conversation.  “Look, you know how you were always saying that being a monster is a choice, for some people?  And you never gave up hope about finding some more monsters who were... friendly?”  He tried to make it sound kind, instead of the way he’d brought it up during their last discussion about the subject two years previously.

     “Like Lenore,” Ember said.

     Dean had forgotten about Lenore, the vampire who stayed alive on donated blood.

     “Yeah, exactly like Lenore, actually,” Dean said.  Ember seemed to accept this easier than he had expected, so he continued.  “I ran into a vampire, like Lenore, and… I never would’ve gotten out without him,” Dean admitted.  “We fought together.”

     Ember nodded thoughtfully.  “Did he get out with you?”

     And there it was.  Dean hadn’t meant to tell her this much, and he never would have imagined telling her this… but she had asked it as calmly as if she were asking “Is the sky blue?”

     “Yeah, he… he’s settled down south.”

     “And you believe him?” Ember said.  “About the donated blood?”  Ember glanced at him briefly, but he could tell she was not being accusatory at all.  Was there any other hunter he could trust to be this calm and open-minded about something like this?  Had there ever been a half-demon hunter in existence?

     “Yes, I do,” Dean answered.

     “Okay,” Ember said.  She looked at him then.  “Thank you for telling me,” she said.

     “Yeah, just… don’t tell Sam, okay?  Not yet.  I just… don’t know how he’ll react.”

     Ember shrugged and grumbled something under her breath.

     “What?” Dean asked curiously.

     “Nothing,” Ember said.  “It’s…” she sighed, then turned toward him.  “Look, Sam’s a little… different than when you left.  Okay?  It’s not bad different.  He’s not in trouble or anything, and he’s still in perfect health, he just… he’s different.  We had a couple of disagreements, and we only speak every… I don’t know, every month or so.”

     Dean was shocked.  “Why?  What the hell did he do?”

     Ember looked pained.  “Look, he’s not in any trouble, it’s just… you have to hear it from him, okay?”

     Dean knew her well enough by now to know that she wasn’t budging.  “Okay.  I gave him a call, I’ll be out there by tomorrow night,” he said.  “I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.”

     Ember nodded.  “Like I said, it’s nothing bad, just… different.”

     “Alright,” Dean said awkwardly.  “So… what’s new with you, then?”

     “I’m becoming a foster parent,” Ember announced.

     Dean tried quickly to cover his shock, and knew that he was failing miserably.  “Um… do you… you are?”

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  “I’m just at the beginning of the process, though.  I just took the first training class last week.  I’m so busy, it’ll be a few months yet before I can get my license.”

     “Did you… get married?”

     “No,” Ember said, laughing.  Dean got the impression that she was choosing whether or not to say something.  Finally, she looked down at her own cheeseburger and said, “Dean, I’ve never been able to find a guy I fit with as much as you.”  She looked him in the face.  “I know we had our problems, and those certainly haven’t gone away, but where the hell else am I gonna find a guy that can defend himself against the demons that come around, but won’t judge me for being half-demon?  It’s just not gonna happen.  So, I’ve given up.  I’m skipping the whole ‘husband’ thing and just moving on to being a parent.”

     Well, that conversation hadn’t gone the way he’d thought.  It had started promising, what with the whole, “I’ve never been able to find a guy I fit with as much as you” statement, and Dean took a second trying to figure out where her speech had gone so wrong.  It was probably somewhere around the word “parent”, he decided.

     “Aren’t we a little… young to be parents?” he asked her.

     “Dean, I’m almost 31.  And you’re 33.”  She sniggered.  “You’re 73, if you count Hell.  You’re an old man, Dean Winchester.”  She smirked.  “You might have to start having proctology exams.”

      “Oh, hell no!” Dean said, allowing her to switch off this dangerous subject.  After that, Dean and Ember returned to discussing Purgatory for awhile.  Dean told Ember about all of the monsters they had killed in Purgatory.  “It’s… Purgatory is pure,” he explained to her.  “That’s what I always told Benny.  No power, no corruption, no politics… just running for your life, all the time.”

     Ember made a face.  “I’m so sorry, Dean… we tried to look for you… well…” she left off, then seemed to shake her head.  “Anyway.  In the end, we knew you hadn’t gone to Hell, but we couldn’t be sure whether you were in Heaven or Purgatory.  And I tracked down the spell Castiel used to get into Purgatory, but it required the blood of a native of Purgatory, and there was just no way-…”

     “It’s not on you, Ember,” Dean said.  “There was no way you could’ve gotten Cas or I out.”

     Ember nodded.  “Speaking of Cas,” she ventured, letting the sentence linger unfinished.

     “He didn’t make it,” Dean said flatly.

     “Are you sure?” she asked kindly.

     He looked away from her.  “Yes,” he said.  There were things he would talk about with her, because it was her, and because he wanted her in his life… but, there were some things he still just couldn’t talk about.

     Ember seemed to sense this.  “I’m sorry,” she said.

     By then, Ember and Dean were leaving the restaurant and on their way back to Ember’s place.  “You’re staying the night,” Ember informed him.

     “I don’t want to put you out,” Dean said.  “You really don’t need to-…”

     “You have no money and no credit cards, not even fraudulent ones,” Ember said.  “You must’ve either squatted or slept outside the past three nights.  Has it been since before Purgatory that you slept on a bed?”

     “Yes,” Dean admitted.

     “Point made, I think,” Ember said.

     Dean wasn’t sure whether or not to take Ember’s words at face value.  She hadn’t yet said anything to let him know that “staying the night” meant anything more than him sleeping on the couch… but he also hadn’t stayed the night with her since they had dated two years ago.  In his head, he flew quickly through their interactions since their breakup:  when Bobby had died, she had stayed at a hotel under a false name, favoring complementary breakfasts and hot showers to the amenities offered at Rufus’ cabin.  When Sam had gone insane from Lucifer, he had visited her apartment, but not stayed the night.  Finally, when they had traveled together shortly before Dean went to Purgatory, Ember had always made sure to stay in a separate hotel room.

     A man could hope… “What did you miss most, while you were in Purgatory?” Ember asked as they filed into her small apartment.  She had been living here for awhile, he noticed, and not moving around like she did with the Leviathans.  The apartment bore the unmistakeable signs of someone protecting themselves from demons (salt in the doorway and on the windowsills), however the amount of furniture and knick-knacks suggested that she had finally been able to put down roots again.

     Dean thought for a minute, while nursing a beer.  “You, and Sam,” he said slowly.  “And cheeseburgers.  And sex.”

     Ember laughed.  “I missed you too,” she said.  “Had loads of cheeseburgers, though.  Sex…” she sighed, and he could tell that she was pretending not to notice how closely he was paying attention.  “Haven’t had sex since a couple of months after you disappeared,” she admitted.

     This was his “in”, and he knew it.  “How come?” he asked, standing and moving closer to her.

     She shrugged.  She was doing the dishes, but Dean noticed she’d been rinsing the same dish for the last 10 seconds.  “Friends with benefits guy got married,” she admitted.

     Dean almost asked, “Want a new one?” before remembering that this wasn’t exactly a proposal for a romantic relationship.  Instead, he pushed down his jealousy and settled for, “He did, did he?” Then he slunk his arms gracefully around her slender waist.  She turned in his arms and kissed him, first awkwardly, and then more steadily.

     Finally.  How many times had he dreamed of this in Purgatory?  The real thing was nothing like the dreams, though.  She was soft and pliant in his arms, and she smelled heavenly, of things that reminded him of better times.  He wanted her, fast, and hard, but the mood wasn’t right.

     In spite of himself, he picked up the pace, kissing her faster and harder.  In response, she pushed him backward, lightly.  He fell back against her on couch, and she climbed on top of him.

***Ember POV***

October 5, Late Evening

     Ember hadn’t expected this today, but it was a stroke of luck.  Dean had been the best she’d ever had, there was no contest.  She had never been sure whether it was because of his skill, or because he was by far her longest relationship, and he had simply dated her long enough to find out what made her scream.  Ember had noticed once, long ago, the similarities between Dean’s styles of sex and torture, and tonight was no exception.  Even though she was on top of him on the couch, he held her inches away from himself, just looking at her.  His eyes were smoldering, and she got the feeling he was wondering if she looked the same naked as she used to.  As if responding to her thoughts, he began to slowly peel off her top, discarding it on the floor.  After giving her another long, appraising look, he smiled, and leaned forward to kiss and suck on her neck.

    She moved closer to him, enough to feel his hardness, and he groaned at the friction, but still didn’t thrust upward.  He used one hand to tease just under her underwear on her lower back, and the other to seamlessly unclasp her bra, which then joined the shirt on the floor.  He stopped for a moment, only then realizing that she was trying to tug his shirt off as well.

     Now both shirtless, he pulled her to him and finally rocked upward.  It was her turn to groan, but no sooner had he pressed where she most needed him than he had rocked back again, away from her.  He cupped her breasts, rubbing the sensitive nipples, and sucked on both.

     Ember was impatient, and began to unbuckle his belt, but he closed the distance between them again, rocketing upward and covering her mouth with his.  It was another few minutes of kissing and thrusting before he allowed her to unclasp his pants, finally freeing him.  By that point, she was more than ready for him – nothing was more intoxicating to Ember than the restraint of a man who she knew was starving for her.

     He was harder than ever, and she took as much of him in her mouth as she could.  He groaned a loud, guttural, groan, and Ember maneuvered her hand toward his ass, pulling him closer.

     “Your turn,” he whispered, forcing Ember away from him, and instead pulling her back onto his lap.  This time he pulled her onto his lap fully, thrusting up where she wanted him most.  She had on a pair of leggings, and he separated them just long enough to peel them off, along with a pair of red underwear.

     “New underwear,” he whispered into her ear, his voice low and husky.  “I like them.  But I like you better without them.”

     She made to position him at her entrance, but he feigned slightly left, causing her to gasp when his hardness pressed her sweet spot.  She whined, and he grabbed her ass, rubbing her across him again, his tongue exploring her neck and shoulder.  It didn’t take long before she came undone, crying his name and then shaking in his arms.  It had been so long since she’d had sex, and even longer since she’d had sex like that… ironically, it occurred to her that she actually hadn’t even had sex yet. 

     Just as she was thinking this, Dean lined himself up at her entrance and thrusted, filling her to the hilt.  Both let out a groan, and Ember took over and began slowly moving up and down, occasionally throwing in a circular motion.  It wasn’t long before they were both panting with a rhythm that had been established years ago, and never really forgotten.  Finally, with a final thrust, Ember felt her walls clench around him.  He followed her only a second later, shouting her name as he came.

***Dean POV***

October 6, Morning

     When Dean awoke, he felt happier than he had in a long time.  Things were back on track.  He was back from Purgatory, and he’d had a cheeseburger, and sex, and he was in bed with Ember again.

     Or maybe he wasn’t.  “Where are you going?” he asked her, opening one eye to watch her get dressed.

     “Work,” she said.  She smiled at him.  “People don’t stop having issues just because Dean Winchester comes home from Purgatory.”

     Dean tried not to show his pout, but she caught it anyway.  “I figured you’d want to get on to Sam,” she admitted.

     He did want to go see Sam, but still… “I do, but… do you want to come with me?  Like before?”

     Something changed in her expression then, a slight flinch.  “Dean… look, I’m about to be a mother.”

     Right.  Yeah, he’d forgotten about that.

     “I mean, we haven’t done this in… in two years, you know?  And… I mean, it was…” She shook her head.  “It was great.  Like, Jesus, you rocked my world, I’ll readily admit it.”

     Dean smiled with pride and moved to kiss her, but she continued.  “I just don’t know…”

     Dean understood.  It didn’t change anything.  She still wanted a family; he still wanted to hunt.  It was now or never, then.  Dean said, “Ember, I can settle down.  I… well, I’ll admit I didn’t think it would come this fast, but… I can phase out hunting, you know?  And I’ve stopped drinking, because, you know, there’s no alcohol in Purgatory…” he trailed off, realizing that he sounded like he was begging.  “I… I want you back in my life.  For good.  I don’t think I ever really stopped wanting you in my life.”

     Ember looked pained.  “Look, I… I don’t know what to say to that.”  She shifted uncomfortably.  “Dean… look, you’re not going to be happy unless you’re hunting.  We both know that.  You were the one last night who told me that Purgatory was pure…”  She avoided his eye, and seemed to be choosing whether or not to say something.  Finally she said, “And it’s not just about me being a mother.  You still shoot first and ask questions later.  Dean, you just got back from Purgatory.  You’re… you’re jumpy.  You’re like a war veteran just home from the war and not sure how to handle life again.  And I love you, Dean, I always have, and I always will, I just don’t…”

     Dean felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him.  He was hurt, deeply.  “Fine,” he said.  “I’m sorry I asked.”  And he began to gather his things.

     “Dean, wait!”  Ember looked crushed, and began hurrying after him.  He saw a tear slide down her cheek.  In spite of himself, he stopped.  “Look… I don’t know what else to do anymore, Dean.  I spend half of my life wanting to be with you, and the other half trying to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to work being with you into the rest of my life.  And clearly it’s not working.  So here’s what I’m proposing:  Call me when you can.  Come around when you can.  And when you can’t, don’t.  Because even that’s more than I have now.  You say you wanna make another go of it, maybe phase hunting out eventually? Fine, we’ll see what happens.”

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

Winter

     Something had shifted in Ember’s relationship with Dean.  It was a substantial change, but not an obvious one, unless you were very close to Ember or to Dean.  Sam was aware of it, but perhaps he was the only one.

     Ember and Dean texted almost daily, and talked at least once a week.  It wasn’t as often as they had talked when they had dated, but far more pleasant.  It was about as often as they had been talking during the rule of the Leviathans, o-+

nly less Dick-Roman related.  They saw each other only twice during the fall, when Dean and Sam stopped in on their way to and from different jobs.

     Their new “relationship” had rules, which were never spoken, but referred to from time to time in abstract terms.  They would check in with each other occasionally.  They would use a condom with their other sexual partners (though neither of them actually had other sexual partners).  They would not attempt to define their relationship one way or another.  They would not say “I love you.”  They were free, however, to have occasional sex (if Dean happened to be in town) and to simply enjoy each other’s company, whether by phone or in person.  Dean and Sam both spent a week with Ember at Christmas time, and it was the most enjoyable Christmas either had had in some time.

     “Now remember, she’s not my girlfriend,” said Dean, pulling into the parking lot of her apartment for their Christmas stay.

     “Whatever,” said Sam, giving Dean a sideways glance.

     “What?” he asked.

     “You’re in love with her, man.  You always have been.  And she’s in love with you.”

     “It’s complicated,” Dean answered.

     “Well, duh.  I get it, man, you really love hunting.  But doesn’t it kind of feel like you’re… I don’t know, just doing the whole “friends with benefits” thing until something better comes along?”

     It did feel like that, sometimes, and it hadn’t been his choice, but both of these things went on the long list of things he definitely wasn’t going to tell Sam.  “This is every guys’ dream, man!  It’s basically like having a meaningful open relationship.”

     “You do know that I know that everything you’re saying is bullshit, right?” Sam asked.

     “Come on, don’t ruin this for me, dude,” was Dean’s only response as he knocked on the door to her apartment.

***Ember POV***

Winter

     Ember’s relationship with Dean wasn’t ideal, but after the year with the Leviathans and the year in Purgatory, she felt as though they were in a better place than they had been in quite a while.  She knew that life without Dean Winchester was lonely and unbearably dull, that she enjoyed his company, and that, in another demon-free circumstance, he would’ve been an ideal husband.  She also knew he would never be happy sitting at home with her, so perhaps this was truly the best of both worlds.  Every other possible outcome had made them miserable, so perhaps this was their best shot.

     Dean and Sam brought news in late fall that they were in the process of searching for a demon tablet which would tell how to seal demons in Hell forever.  When she was younger, Ember would have hoped that once this was achieved, Dean might be done hunting for good.  She was old enough by now to know that this would never happen, but that didn’t stop her from offering her help with the tablet.  “Let me know if you guys need anything,” she said, and they promised that they would.    

     Meanwhile, there were other things to attend to.  Ember and Dean didn’t talk as frequently as they had when they had been “officially” dating, but when they did talk it was usually for longer periods of time and about more substantial things.  Over time, Dean forgave Sam for not looking for him in Purgatory, and Ember was ultimately forced to forgive Sam as well.  It was a relief, to be honest.  Ember had missed her friendship with Sam almost as much as she had missed having Dean in her life.

     Castiel showed back up the day before Ember’s 31^st birthday, and Ember was ecstatic to receive the call from Dean explaining that he was back in the picture.  When Castiel had the energy to travel again, he visited Ember at her home as well, and they spent an evening catching up on each other’s experiences over the past year.

     To the annoyance of her foster care workers, Ember opted not to accept foster children for the time being.  She refused to expose a child who had never been exposed to monsters, and instead was waiting for a child who had already had exposure and was trying to figure out how to deal with it.  There were plenty – Ember just had to do a little digging.  As busy as work kept Ember, however, it was well after the new year before she was even able to obtain her foster license.

     Overall, Ember kept herself busy, but there was more than enough time to fit the Winchester brothers back into the cracks in her life.    

***Sam POV***

January 7

     Sam Winchester was furious.  Dean had made a new friend in Purgatory, a vampire named Benny.

     Dean never would have gotten out of Purgatory without Benny – Sam accepted that.

     It had probably been a dumb move on Sam’s behalf to hire their father’s crazed hunter friend Martin to spy on Benny – Sam accepted that, too.

     Dean trusted Benny, and as it turned out, Benny wasn’t responsible for the vampire-related deaths in his area.  Instead, it had been a rogue vampire who was angry with Benny for turning “soft.”  It was possible – monsters like Kate, and Lenore, and apparently Benny did exist, however rare.  Sam would’ve accepted that, too, if he hadn’t been so ridiculously pissed off.

     What he didn’t accept was that Dean had sent him on a wild goosechase to keep him out of the way while he dealt with the Benny issue.  He had switched his ex-girlfriends’ phone number with a burner phone number and sent Sam on a fake rescue mission.

     When Dean tracked Sam to his motel room in Kermit, Texas, Sam almost didn’t answer the door.

     “Who did you expect?” asked Dean.

     “Long drive,” Sam commented coldly.

     “Well, I wouldn’t have had to make it if you hadn’t hung up on me,” Dean commented.

     “Yeah, well, I heard all I needed to hear,” Sam said.

     “No, you heard what you wanted to hear,” Dean snapped.  “I told you Benny wasn’t killing.  Hell, I watched him end the fangbanger that was.”

     “How about Martin?” Sam asked.  “How did he end that?”

     “Stupid,” Dean said.  “Just like I said it would.  Crazy son of a bitch didn’t give Benny a choice.  It was self-defense.”

     “Seriously?  Dean?  That’s the story you’re going with?  That the vampire was the real victim here?”

     “Hey, like it or not, that’s the truth, okay?  There was a time when that actually meant something.”

     He was one to talk, Sam thought.  Benny wasn’t why he was really angry, anyway.  Dean had yet to mention Amelia or the burner phone.  “Yeah, yeah, no kidding,” Sam said.

     “What does that mean?” Dean asked.

     “You think this is just about Benny?” Sam asked.

     “What the hell are you talking about?” asked Dean, and Sam wanted to slap him.

     “What the hell do you think I’m talking about?” Sam asked.

     “Amelia?” Dean asked, looking surprised.  “Oh, come on, man, I sent you that text ‘cause I needed you to… to…”

     “You needed me to what?” Sam snapped.  “To tear ass to Texas?  To be afraid that what happened to Jessica, what happened to… to everybody that we care about might have happened to her?”

     “You were gonna kill Benny.  What was I supposed to do?” Dean said.

     Sam was furious.  He had had enough.  He had never said anything about killing Benny.  If anything, he had been the one keeping Martin under control.  “Is that what we are?” he asked.  “You save a vampire by making me believe that the woman I love might be dead?  Dean, do you know why the woman you love isn’t here right now?  It’s because of stupid decisions like this.”

     Dean’s face turned furious.  “Fuck you,” he said.  “Fuck you, man.  Glad I made the drive.”  And he walked out without looking back.

***Ember POV***

January 16, Daytime

     Dean showed up at Ember’s house after his latest fight with Sam.  To his credit, she understood what he did, and why he had done it.  Sam had made a mistake not trusting Dean, and Dean had made a mistake going to below-the-belt means to get Sam out of the way. 

     Despite the circumstances, Ember relished the time spent with Dean.  There were days when it was almost like they were dating again, until she remembered that they weren’t technically dating again, and then she remembered why they weren’t technically dating again.  Still, she missed him constantly.

     After four days, however, Ember had begun to wonder exactly how long Dean would be staying.  Just as she began to psych herself up to broach this conversation with him, Castiel showed up.  Dean was asleep at the time, and Ember was resting on his chest, enjoying his familiar smell and the rise and fall of his deep breathing.  She jumped when Castiel began to speak, shooting up suddenly and staring at him fiercely. 

     Dean shot upward upon realizing Castiel was standing in front of him.  “Damn it, Cas.  How many times do I have to tell you!  It’s just creepy!”

     “Dean, Ember, I need your help,” Castiel said.  “The angel Samandriel… he’s been taken.”

     And just like that, Ember was off on her first hunting adventure in over a year.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     It took Castiel, Ember, and Dean nearly two days to track down Samandriel.  They knew he was in the “general vicinity of Hastings, Nebraska”, according to Castiel, but they went to nine different abandoned factories before Castiel and Ember recognized demons.  The place where Samandriel was being kept would be crawling with them, of course.  Angel warding would be an issue, too.

     They needed more help, and they knew it.  Dean refused to call Sam for help, but it occurred to him that Kevin, the prophet, was in a houseboat nearby, and had knowledge of how to make demon bombs.  Once at the houseboat, Castiel left to gather the ingredients Kevin indicated.  When he returned, Sam was in tow.

     “Sam!” Ember exclaimed, running to give him a hug.

     “What’s he doing here?” asked Dean.

     “Don’t worry, Dean,” said Sam.  “Once we save Alfie, I’m out.”  (Alfie was the vessel Samandriel had taken.)

     “Once ‘we’ save Alfie?  Don’t hurt yourself, Sam,” Dean said sarcastically.  “The three of us can handle it.”

     Ember started to talk, but Sam cut her off.  “Not according to Cas.”

     “I told you we didn’t need him,” Dean said to Castiel.

     “And I told you we needed everyone we can get,” Ember said.

     Castiel nodded.  “And I need both of you, as they say, to stow your crap!  Can you do that?”

     They agreed that they could.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Castiel explained that there were four different angel warding symbols on the building where Samandriel was being kept.  The three of them quietly killed a demon to get inside.  Ember regretted the killing, but she knew there wasn’t long enough to perform an exorcism and still keep things quiet, and Dean needed the keys.  After that, Sam and Dean headed one direction, and Ember invisible, headed another.  As she went, she began to chant an exorcism low under her breath.  She had her manufactured scent covering her, as Sam had first suggested so many years ago, and though the demons looked up and sniffed, they couldn’t pinpoint her exact location.

     One angel sigil covered… she could hear Samandriel’s screaming.  Two sigils covered… she heard a loud thump, and ran quietly in that direction, passing a third covered angel sigil on the way there.  Sam and Dean were fighting with a demon, but by the time Ember caught up with them he was already stabbed with Sam’s angel blade.

    Castiel joined them then, but he was out of breath.  “It must be the sigils,” he said.  “I’m not at full power.”

    “Sam, help me muss this crud,” Dean said, getting out his spray can again.

    “No, wait!” Castiel said.  “There’s no time!  Samandriel won’t last much longer.”  And just after that, Cas began to cower, shrinking down to the ground as though hallucinating.  “Cas.  Cas?  Cas!”  whispered Ember hurriedly.

     “Ember!” Dean said, and Ember realized Sam and Dean were attempting to break down a door behind which she could hear Samandriel screaming.  Ember easily freed the door with her powers just in time to hear Crowley say, “There’s an angel tablet.”

     After that Crowley disappeared, and everyone started fighting.  There were two demons, and both put up a good fight.  Dean and Sam kept them busy, and meanwhile Ember exorcised both of them, with Sam and Dean both stepping back in shock as both hosts fell to the floor and smoke rose upwards from their mouths.

     “Right,” said Dean, looking around suddenly as Ember reappeared.  “We forgot you liked to do that.”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “Idiots.”

     They ran out to meet up with Castiel and Samandriel, only to find Samandriel dead.

     “Cas, what the hell!” Ember exclaimed.

     “He was compromised,” said Castiel in a robotic, odd voice.  Ember and Dean looked at each other questioningly.

     “He came at me.  I killed him in self-defense,” Castiel continued.

     “Cas, are you okay?” Dean asked.  Blood was leaking out of Castiel’s eye.  Ember made to move toward him, but he held out his hand.

     “My vessel must’ve been damaged in the melee,” he said.  “I have to go.  Samandriel’s remains belong in Heaven.”

He made to leave.

     “Cas, wait!” Dean said.

     “Thank you both,” Castiel said.  “For everything you’ve done.”

     And he disappeared.

***Dean POV***

January 19, Evening

     Sam, Dean, and Ember regrouped at the airport in Nebraska to see Ember off back to Indiana.  They all three agreed that something was fishy with Castiel, but Ember had already spent too much time away from work.  After Ember had left, Dean turned to Sam.

     “What about you?  Don’t you have a girl to get back to?” he asked his brother.

     Sam looked surprised.  “Yeah, I guess I do.”  He paused.  “Since when are you on the Amelia bandwagon?”

     Dean shook his head.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “I’m just tired of all the fighting.”  He paused.  “And… you know, maybe I’m a… little bit jealous.”  He faced Sam.  “You were right, what you said.  Things are… complicated, with us.  I don’t want them to be… but they are.  I could never separate myself from the job like you could.”  He looked out the window at Ember’s plane, and part of him wished he could be happy with a different job, or perhaps with a different woman…. He wasn’t sure which one he would miss more.  “Hell,… maybe it’s time for at least one of us to be happy.”

     But in the end, Sam decided that Amelia was better off with her husband.  Dean thought sometimes that perhaps neither of them would ever truly settle down.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

January 30, Evening

     Dean was lucky enough to catch a case in Farmington Hills, Michigan less than a week later, which was close enough that Ember drove to see him over the weekend.  The three of them reunited with Charlie Bradbury, the hacker, to solve the case, which involved several people who were connected through a LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) group.  After the case was solved, the two brothers and Ember had a good time dressing up in Medieval gear and fighting for the honor of the queen, who happened to be Charlie.

     A week later, however, Dean called Ember in a very different mood.

     “So… met my grandfather,” he said.

     “You what?”

     Dean proceeded to tell Ember that his grandfather was apparently something called a “Man of Letters”, which he described as a secret organization sort of like in James Bond or Mission Impossible, except dealing with the supernatural.  Apparently Henry Winchester had used a sigil to jump forward in time to run away from a demon called Abaddon.  Abaddon had ultimately been destroyed, but Henry had died in the present time, leaving his son John (Dean and Sam’s father) thinking that he had abandoned him.

     “Ember, that’s why I’m scared to have a family.  You know that, right?  It’s not… I’d love to have a family, you know that.  But… my grandfather, and my father, did the best they could.  But my grandfather still never saw my father past the first decade, and my father was gone for weeks at a time, with us thinking he was dead or worse.  And every time I try to leave that life…”

     Ember was surprised.  Dean must truly have been shaken by the experience with his grandfather if he was willing to discuss this with her; he wasn’t usually so forthcoming.  “I know, Dean,” she said.  “And maybe…”  She sighed.  Truthfully, there was something she needed to get off of her chest, as well.  “Dean, I miss hunting.  Being with you, and Cas, and Sam a couple of weeks ago, and then again with Charlie, made me realize that it’s not just you I miss.  Maybe… maybe I’m supposed to be doing more.  Maybe you’ve been right all along.”

     “I never pushed you to hunt,” Dean said.  “In fact, there were several times when I pushed you away from hunting.”

     “Yeah, but we both know I’d be a great hunter,” Ember said.  “I mean, c’mon, I’m practically ready-made for the job.  And it’s not like I can escape at least some facet of it, no matter what I do.  And… it would solve a lot of problems, wouldn’t it?”

     Dean paused, and Ember knew why:  they very rarely discussed the fragile state of their relationship.  Ember knew Dean was choosing his words carefully.  “But you still want a child.”

     “Yes,” Ember clarified.

     “So I guess we still have the same problem, don’t we?” asked Dean.

     “I guess we do,” Ember said somberly.

     “Did you get your license yet?” Dean asked, searching for a way to changing the subject.

     “No,” Ember said, “I’m still waiting on it.  It should come in a few weeks.”

     “But you told them you don’t want children right away, right?”

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  “The demon thing is too much of an issue.  It has to be a kid that’s already familiar with the life.  It’ll happen, someday.”  She paused.  “Thanks for spreading the word with your hunter friends, by the way.”

     “No problem,” Dean said. 

     “You did spread the word, didn’t you?” Ember asked suspiciously.

     “Yeah, I did,” Dean said.  “Garth said he’d make some follow-up calls about some orphaned kids he dropped off with the cops about a month back in New Jersey after a ruguru got the single father.  And Sam even followed up on the baby werewolf Tamara found a few months back.  No dice, though.  The orphaned kids have an aunt in New York, and another hunter killed the baby werewolf.”

     Ember sighed.  “Thanks for trying, Dean.”

***Ember POV ***

February 2, Evening

     Dean’s next phone call was less than two days later, and he was in much better spirits.  “Ember, is there a chance you could take a trip to Kansas for Valentine’s Day?”

     Ember had been secretly hoping for the invitation, but certainly not counting on it.  “I don’t see why not, why?”

     “You have to see the Men of Letters bunker,” he said.  “It’s awesome.”

***Dean POV***

February 13, Evening

     Ember arrived at the bunker just as Dean was finishing setting up his room.  He had had more fun than he thought he would arranging his own room for the first time in his life.

     “Wow,” Sam said, stopping by the door to Dean’s room while he was showing Ember around.  “Not bad.”

     “Not bad?” Dean echoed.  “I haven’t had my own room… ever.  I’m making this awesome.  I’ve got my kickass vinyl.  I’ve got this killer mattress.”  Dean sat down.  “Memory foam, like yours,” he said, glancing at Ember.  “You should try it, Sam.  It remembers me.”

     “And it’s clean, too!” Dean added, looking at Ember to make sure she was listening.  She was nodding appreciatively.  “There’s no funky smell, there’s no creepy motel stains.”  Sam threw a gum wrapper on the floor, and Ember and Dean gave him identical glares.  “Really?” Dean asked.

     Sam pretended to look ashamed.  “Sorry,” he said, going to pick up the gum wrapper.

     “I’m gonna go fix us some grub,” he said.

     Half an hour later, he had fixed cheeseburgers for Ember and Sam.

     “God, I forgot how much I missed these,” Ember said, closing her eyes in relish as she ate the cheeseburger.

     “You made these?” Sam asked suspiciously.

     “Ood ee s’pised,” Ember said, and Dean rolled his eyes.

     “We have a real kitchen now,” he said, answering Sam’s question.

     “I know.  I just didn’t think you knew what a kitchen was,” Sam said.

     “Seriously?  He’s never made you these?” Ember asked, finishing her bite.  “So much for brotherly love.”

     “I’m nesting.  Okay?  Eat.” Dean asked.  Truthfully, he had really hoped to impress Ember.  He knew how much it would mean to her that he had a home which was impervious to any kind of invasion or entrance.  Even now, he knew, she feared constantly the invasions of demons and Leviathans.  Sam shot him a look that told Dean that he was not fooled in the slightest.  After Sam took a bite of his cheeseburger, however, he gave the same appreciative groan as Ember.

     Just then, however, Dean’s cell phone rang.

     “Dean!  Come quick!” And then Kevin hung up.

     Dean explained the situation to Ember.  He apologized profusely – he was disappointed that what he had hoped would be a romantic weekend filled with sex in his new Batcave had suddenly turned into a case.  Ember, however, seemed enthused.

     About six hours later, Dean, Sam, and Ember found out that Kevin had translated part of the demon tablet.  This meant that, for the first time in months, there was movement in regards to possibly sealing all of the demons in hell. “It’s a spell,” Kevin said.  “And it’s just a few words of Enochian, but the spell has to be spoken after you finish each of the three trials.”

     “Basically God built a series of tests, and when you’ve done all three, you can slam the gates.  I’ve only been able to crack one of the tests so far, and it’s gross.  You’ve got to kill a hound of Hell and bathe in its blood.”

     “Awesome!” said Dean.

     “Awesome?” asked Sam and Ember together.

     “Yeah,” said Dean.  “Hey, if this means icing all demons, I got no problem gutting some devil dog and letting Calgon take me away,” he said.

     “Where are you gonna find one?” asked Kevin.

     “Well, Hellhounds like to collect on crossroads deals, so all we’ve got to do is track down some loser who signed over his special sauce 10 years ago, and get between him and Clifford the big dead dog – easy.”

     “How are you gonna do that?” said Kevin.

     In spite of themselves, Dean and Sam both looked at Ember, who could see Hellhounds.  “Look, if you want to schedule this around work, we can-…”

     “Don’t bother,” Ember said, looking eager.  “For this, I’ll call off.”

***Ember POV***

February 15, Evening

     As it turned out, Ember wouldn’t have to call off.  By Saturday morning, the group arrived in Shoshone, Idaho, at the home of the Casity family.  The Casitys had struck oil ten years ago where oil should not have been, in an area that had showed other signs of being inhabited by at least one stronger demon.  The boys were hired on almost immediately as farmhands, and Ember chose to stay invisible and skulk in the shadows.

     By nightfall, however, they had already lost the oldest of the three Casity sisters’ husband to a Hellhound.  Ember had seen the hound at the last second way across the lawn, and called to the brothers, but it had been too late.

     Just as they were getting ready to leave the Casity farm and move on to Plan B, however, Sam said he was certain the demon had struck more than one deal, and that they should stay.  So, they stayed.

     Finally, Saturday night, Sam spotted the youngest Casity, Margo, and the patriarch taking a gun and going to hunt for “the wolf” that had killed the oldest sisters’ husband.  Sam was serving the family dinner while Dean was grilling, so Ember had been with Sam.  She saw the exchange, and slipped her hand into Sam’s to let him know she was there.

     And suddenly, Ember saw it.  “Sam!  Two o’clock!” she whispered, and swung the barrel of his gun in the right direction.  He fired, and the two of them heard a loud “yelp!”  Sam and Ember both drew their angel blades, and Sam caught the Hellhound in its flank while Ember got its front.  The hellhound tumbled, sratching Ember across the thigh.  Sam knocked Ember back, pulling out her knife and going for a second stab, then a third.  The third drove home through the middle of the Hellhound, and Ember knew it was done. 

     Sam had started the trials.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “It wasn’t supposed to be Sam,” Dean said the next evening. 

     “I know, Dean,” Ember said.  “But that just wasn’t how it happened.”  Dean, Sam, and Ember had made hex bags for Margo Casity, as well as for one of the farm hands that had also made a demon deal.  The hex bags would hide them from the Hellhounds, and from Crowley.  Dean had wanted to stay and kill the other Hellhound that would be coming for the farm hand to do the trials, but he had been outvoted.

     Ember had been able to swing an extra day off with her job, and was taking an early flight back Monday morning.  The fact that her thigh had needed six stitches had helped in this endeavor.  Really, though, she stayed the extra day to deal with Dean’s emotional fallout since Sam had been the one to kill the Hellhound.

     Ember turned to face Dean.  “Dean, if you were so sure that one of you would have to die to complete the trials, why would you take them on in the first place?  Did it really never occur to you that Sam might want to complete the trials instead of you?”

     Ember could tell the answer from the look on Dean’s face.  “Typical,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “You two spent so much time convincing me not to be the one to complete the trials that it never occurred to you that it might be Sam you have to worry about.  ‘Ember, stay right next to us the entire time,’ she mocked.  ‘Ember, whatever you do, don’t kill the Hellhound yourself, you have to promise us.’… ‘Ember, you have a career, and children on the way, don’t get any more involved in this than you already are!’  God, you two are so full of shit!”  Ember reigned in her irritation with great effort.  Now was not the time for it. 

     She started again.  “Dean, we don’t know anything about these trials.  We don’t know what they’ll do to Sam.  We can’t worry about something we don’t even know yet.  And maybe Sam’s right – with you so convinced that whoever completes the trials has to die, it was probably better for it to be someone with a little hope.”

     “It’s a suicide mission for you,´ Sam had told Dean the day before.  “I wanna slam Hell shut too, okay?  But I wanna survive it.  I wanna live.  And so should you.  You have friends up here.  Family.  Ember.  Hell, maybe you two could even settle down, if we manage to shut the gates.  Start a family, or whatever.”

     Dean rolled over to look at Ember.  “If we do shut the gates, would you want to?  Start a family, I mean?”

     Ember was surprised, but it quickly turned to fear and trepidation.  “Dean, don’t dangle that carrot in front of me.  It’s been dangled too many times, and I don’t want to be disappointed again.”

     Dean opened his mouth as though to speak, but appeared to think better of it.  Instead, he simply pulled her closer. 

***Ember POV***

March 21, Noon

     It was over a month before Ember saw Dean again.  Ember didn’t suggest visiting Dean, not wanting to push their relationship to a level she didn’t feel they were ready for.  Dean’s hunting didn’t bring him near Ember, either.

     Finally, on March 21, Ember got a text from Sam.

Sam Winchester Phone:  Found Cas.  Lead on item discussed last time we saw him.  Going for it shortly.  How soon can u join?  Need back-up if possible.  Missouri.

     The item they had discussed last time they had seen Castiel had been the angel tablet.  If they were making a play for the angel tablet, they would need back-up.  So, Ember headed to Missouri.

     Upon arriving in Missouri, Ember was excited to see a familiar face.  “Meg!” she exclaimed.  She hadn’t seen Meg since they’d separated after fighting the Leviathans more than a year previous, but she’d heard through the grapevine that Meg had been captured by Crowley.  She was surprised to see her alive, but also surprisingly pleased.

     “Hey, Mutt!” Meg replied in her drawling voice.  Ember had gotten used to the name Meg had taken to calling her during their time watching over Castiel in the hospital the previous year, and it no longer annoyed her.  “How’s the old hospital been?  Is my name still on all the boys’ toilet stalls?”

     “Hey, quit the girl talk,” Dean said, and began filling Ember in on the mission for that night.  Meg had in fact been tortured and held hostage for the past year, but had still avoided giving up the true location of the angel tablet – one of Lucifer’s abandoned crypts.

     “Alright, Cas, Ember, and I will head in and get our Indiana Jones on.  Sam, you stay outside with Meg.”

     “What?” asked Sam.

     “We got this,” Dean said.

     “What are you talking about, Dean?” Sam asked.  “You’re not going to bench me now.  Meg can hang here, watch our backs.”

     “What, now you trust Meg?” Dean asked.

     “Hey, I got you this far,” Meg protested.

     “To be fair, you still stabbed Bobby,” Ember reminded her.

     “Shut up, Meg!” Sam and Dean both said.

     “Sam, I saw your bloody rag in the trash can, okay?”

     Ember stopped walking, her heart thumping.  “Sam?  Is this about the trials?”

     Sam looked guilty.  His mouth worked for a few seconds before he tried, “That wasn’t-…”

     “Stop,” Dean said.  “Just stop.  Sam, we don’t know what’s in there, okay?  And you almost let a demon get the best of you back there.”

     “Sam?” Ember asked slowly.

     “I did not!”  Sam insisted, more to Ember than to Dean.  “I’m fine.”

     “No, you’re not fine,” Dean said.  “You haven’t been fine since the first trial.  That’s why I prayed to Cas.”

     “Trial?” asked Meg.

     “Shut up, Meg,” said Sam, Dean, and Ember.

     “Dean, I’m telling you, I’m okay,” Sam insisted.

     “No, you’re not,” said Castiel, and all three of the looked at him with surprise.  “Sam, you’re damaged in ways even I can’t heal.  Dean’s right… you should stay here and protect Meg.”

     Ember could see Sam’s jaw working, but they all knew he had been outvoted.  “Since when do I need protecting?” asked Meg.

     “Since you were held captive and tortured for over a year,” said Castiel.

     “Touche,” said Meg.

     And so it was decided.

***Castiel POV***

March 21, Evening

     Dean had the tablet.  It was in his hand.  Naomi’s voice was in his head.  She was telling him to kill Dean, to kill Ember, if he needed to.  Castiel did not want to kill Dean.  He did not want to kill Ember or Dean.  He had been trained to kill Dean – he knew that now, on some amount of a conscious level.  He had not had training to kill Ember.  The angels did not understand how he felt for her because they had never known her personally.  They thought that it was no concern, because she was a half-demon.  How had he hidden that from Naomi?  Castiel didn’t know.

     But that didn’t matter now.  What mattered was that Dean was not giving up the angel tablet, as Naomi had commanded.  “I can’t let you take that, Dean,” Castiel said.

     “Can’t or won’t?” Dean asked.  Ember’s eyes were blown wide and fearful as she looked back and forth between the two of them.

     “Both,” he answered.

     Dean gave a significant look to Ember, who gave no response.  He paused for a second, then asked, “How did you get out of Purgatory, Cas?”

     He didn’t want to kill them.  There had to be another way.  Naomi was screaming in his head.  And Castiel was advancing on Dean.

     “Just tell me how you got out of Purgatory,” Dean said.  “Be honest with me – for the first time since you’ve been back – and this is yours.”

     “We don’t trust you, Castiel,” Ember said.  “Something’s off about you.  Who’s controlling you?  Why did you kill Samandriel?  How did you get out of Purgatory?  Dean said he saw you die.”  She was covering Dean now, backing up with him, but both were standing their ground.

     No.  No, I don’t want to.  It’s not a drill this time.  This is real.  This isn’t me.  I don’t want to.  I lo- I love her.  I love them both.

     “Cas,” said Dean.  “Cas, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you’re in there and you can hear me, you don’t have to do this!  Cas!”  But Castiel had struck out against Dean, who had put up the tablet in defense of himself.  And Ember had taken the trunk that the angel tablet had come out of and used her force powers to hit Castiel over the head, but it hardly distracted him.  Gone were the days when she was more powerful than him…

     This isn’t right.  I won’t hurt Dean.  I won’t hurt Ember.

     But Naomi was screaming in his head, and he could feel himself fighting, as though he had no control over his body.  And he remembered.  “The apocalypse is over, and Lucifer is locked up again.  Why is your demon attraction still so strong?” … “Hey, assbutt!” … “With you, this plan might fail.  Without you, this plan will fail.  Got that?”

     “Cas, fight this, this is not you!” Dean was screaming.  “Fight it!”

     Ember was screaming, too, and he could feel the effect of her power, but it was futile against him.

     What have you done to me?

     “What have you done to me, Naomi?”

     He only realized he had said it aloud when Dean and Ember both shouted, “Who is Naomi?  Cas?”

     But she was still screaming in his head.  He felt his fist collide with Dean’s face, and heard Ember scream, “No!” and launch herself at Castiel.  He sent her flying, and she hit the other wall and screamed in pain, her leg twisting under her horribly, and sunk to the ground.

     “Castiel… I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today.”

     But just as he remembered, he felt Dean’s wrist crack beneath his hand.  The tablet had escaped from its stone encasing, and there was thunder outside.  “You want it?  Take it!” Dean said, his face bloody.  “But you’re gonna have to kill me first.  Come on, you coward.  Do it.  Do it!”

     Why wouldn’t his vessel obey him?  And Ember launched herself on top of Dean, somehow, screaming in pain as she did so.  But he was still hitting both of them, and he wasn’t sure which one.

     He felt himself raise his hand up one more time to finish them both, because he had listened too long to the resisting voice, and should have smited them both in the first place.  “Cas… it’s me,” Dean said.  “We’re family.  We need you… I need you.”

     But he could feel that he wouldn’t be able to resist.  And suddenly there were lips on his, and he wasn’t sure how it had happened, because he hadn’t seen her coming.  Shock coursed through his body, and stars exploded behind his eyes, and he dropped his angel blade and his fist without realizing he was doing so, and backed up in horror.

     “I’m sorry, I’m – oh, what have I done?!” he said, alarmed.

     “Heal him!” Ember screamed from his feet, gesturing at Dean, who Castiel realized with alarm was bloody and swollen.

     Castiel reached down slowly and healed both of them.  “I’m so sorry,” he said again.

***Dean POV***

March 21, Night

     “What the hell just happened?” Dean asked.  He was hurt, and confused, and his body still had the strange tingly feeling that he had come to associate with magical healing.

     Castiel began to tell them both about another angel called Naomi.  “So this ‘Naomi’ has been controlling you ever since she got you out of Purgatory?” Dean asked.

     “Yeah,” said Castiel.

     “And, what?  A kiss woke you up?  Was it some sort of demented sleeping beauty sort of bullshit?”  Ember flinched, and had not looked him in the eyes since the kiss.

     “It surprised me, that’s all,” Castiel said.  “A good shock seemed to be helpful.”  Castiel was a terrible liar, Dean thought.

     “I have to protect this tablet,” Castiel said.

     “From Naomi?” asked Dean.

     “Yes,” Castiel said.  “And from you.”

     “From me, what are you talking about?”  But with one final look over his shoulder at Ember, Castiel had disappeared.

     “Cas?  Cas!  Damn it!” 

     In Castiel’s absence, Dean rounded on Ember.  He was surprised to see her not looking down and avoiding his eye, but glaring at him, a challenge on her face.  “What’d you have to go and kiss him for?” Dean asked.

     “Well, nothing you were doing was working!” Ember snapped at him.  “It’s been damn near four years since I had powers that could help in this situation, so I used the only thing available to me, and I’m damn glad I did!  Don’t get your knickers in a twist because you’re still alive!”

     Ember had a point there, Dean was forced to admit.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

March 28, Afternoon

     On March 28, Ember got a call that changed everything.  “You still want kids, right?  With a history in the hunting life?”

     Ember’s heart began to pound.  “Yeah?  Dean, what happened?”

     “Well, is it okay if they’re pretty committed to staying together, in another state?  I mean… that whole license thing, you can get it switched over, right?”

     “If everyone agrees, I can get an interstate compact,” Ember said.  “It’ll take a bit longer, but it’ll work out in the end.  Why?”

     “Well, I’ve found three kids, all three teenagers, all orphaned.  Their parents were killed by vampires.  They were set up as ‘the next generation of hunters,’ but it was all an elaborate – well, you’ll be here soon, right?  How soon can you get here?”

     Ember was on the next plane.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember approached the large house in Conway Springs, Kansas with trepidation and rang the doorbell.  The boy who answered it was tall with dark, coarse hair.  Behind him was a smaller brunette girl with fire in her eyes.

     “This is Krissy, and Josephine, and Aidan,” said Dean’s voice from just behind them.

     “Dean says you’re gonna be our new guardian,” Krissy said, a challenge in her voice.  “He told us you’re a half-demon.  But he also says you’re trustworthy.  What did you do to make him think that?”

     Ember liked Krissy immediately.  “Well, I helped stop the Apocalypse,” she said.  “And we dated for a couple of years, too.”

***Ember POV***

April

     Ember was busier in April than she had ever been in her entire life.  Upon returning home from Kansas, Ember immediately put in her 30-day notice from her job.  She called Garth, a hunter who was a friend of Dean’s, who agreed to check in on the children from time to time during the week, when she couldn’t be there.  Dean agreed to check in on them as often as possible, as well.  The kids were old enough to take care of themselves, for the most part.  Josephine was nearly 18, Aidan 17, and Krissy was 15, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t still a lot that they didn’t know or understand. 

     It wasn’t easy, and trust was an uphill battle.  Still, after a long series of discussions, the three children agreed that they weren’t ready to be on their own yet.  Though they were all more independent than most children their age, they still weren’t ready for things like bills, living paycheck to paycheck, and navigating the social work system.  For this reason, and largely on the recommendations of Sam and Dean, the three children lied and claimed to have known Ember in the past.  In this way, Ember was able to force through an interstate compact and take immediate guardianship of the group. 

     Ember spent weekends in Conway Springs, Kansas, as well as several days off.  It was a sudden adjustment to her life, but one that made her very happy.  She packed, broke the lease on her apartment, and moved across the country.  She got a job in Conway Springs working with younger children than she had worked with in Indiana, which was somewhat less stressful.  By the end of April, Ember had three children.

***Dean POV***

April 3, Afternoon

     “Look, I know I said I’d check on the kids today,” Dean said over the phone, “but you’re gonna have to give me this one.  We found out about the second trial.”

     “Yeah?  What is it?”

     “We have to bring an innocent soul back from Hell, and take him to Heaven,” Dean said.  “And you should know… we’re bringing back Bobby.”

    “What?!” Ember screeched into the phone.  “There’s no way Bobby is in Hell!”

     “Yeah, that’s what I said,” Dean said.  “But apparently Crowley was pretty pissed at him, and made some deals.”

     “I’m on my way,” Ember said.  “I swear to God, as soon as I get there, I’ll kill that-…”

     “Don’t bother coming, Sam’s already gone to Hell,” Dean said, and explained the situation.  Sam had gone with a rogue reaper, Ajay, to Hell to retrieve Bobby.  Apparently, Sam would be back in 24 hours.

     “Okay,” said Ember.  “And you’re sure there’s no reason for me to come?”

     “Only Bobby’s soul will spend any time on this plane,” Dean said.  “Neither of us will get to talk to him.  There’s nothing to tether him here.  Seriously, aren’t you coming out in two days anyway?  There’s really no reason for you to come early.”

     “Yeah, okay,” said Ember, “I’ll drop by and check in with you guys in a couple of days.  Let me know if anything goes wrong, okay?”

     “Yeah,” said Dean, and he hung up.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Sam didn’t return from Hell until almost a week later.  He had ended up stuck in Purgatory.  Benny, Dean’s old vampire friend, had agreed to let himself be killed in order to get to Purgatory to find and retrieve Sam.

     Bobby’s soul had been returned to Heaven and the second trial had been completed, but at a great cost:  Sam had returned without Benny.

     Dean was miserable.  One of his best friends (Castiel) had beat him to a pulp and then been kissed by his not-quite-girlfriend before disappearing.  The other (Benny) had sacrificed his life for Dean and refused to return.  He understood Benny’s decision – he knew it had been difficult for his friend lately.  It had been so difficult that he had favored Purgatory over the trials of being a vampire committed to donated blood, shunned by both vampires and humans.  Still, Dean mourned the loss of his vampire friend more than he could ever tell Sam.  Ember knew, though, and she even took a trip with Dean to bury the vampire’s body in his old tomb in Louisiana.

     Kevin the prophet, the brothers had learned, had been kidnapped by Crowley, leaving behind only a bunch of confusing notes on his translations regarding the third trial.  Worst of all, Sam’s health was getting worse.  He was sleeping more, eating less, and avoiding talking – and Dean – whenever possible.

     Hunting was slow-going during April, and Dean was extremely bored, favoring almost anything over the never-ending research into Kevin’s confusing translation notes.  Therefore, he was more eager than he might have been to take on the seemingly endless amount of favors Ember requested regarding the kids in Conway Springs.

     The original plan had been for Garth to check in on the children on weekdays as often as possible while Ember wrapped up her affairs in Indiana, but Garth was MIA as well.  Dean was the closest hunter available, being only 3 and a half hours away, so the duty fell to him instead.

     “Hey, are you busy?” Ember said one day in early April.

     “Yeah, I’m swimming in research on hieroglyphics in a language only God understands,” Dean said sarcastically.  “What do you need?”

     “Look, Krissy’s math grades are dropping, and she’s got a big test tomorrow.  And Josephine said something about a guy coming over to talk to her about her parents’ will.  Could you check in on them?”

     Only two days after that, Ember called again.  “Look, I know you were there two nights ago, but Josie and Krissy got into a big fight because he thinks she’s leading Aidan on.  And I definitely don’t want anyone dating in that house without an adult there.  Could you go over and sort them out?  I’ll be up on Friday.  I’ll see you then if you’re still there.”

     By the end of April, Dean realized that he had somehow become a sort of pseudo-parent himself.  Even more alarming, he realized that he liked it.  He had a lot of respect for those three children, and was determined to ensure their safety.  He also planned to ensure that they didn’t grow up to become hunters, if he had anything to do with it.  He enjoyed teaching them some of the basic defense skills that their previous (poor excuse for a) mentor, Victor, had missed.  He found that he liked watching football with Aidan, that Josephine was hilarious but practical, and that Krissy was tough as nails.  He even found that when he was around them he desired less alcohol, and instead wanted to set a good example.

     Best of all, he realized that he was spending more time with Ember than he had since they had been together.  They talked or texted multiple times each day, and not just about the children.  She had begun to look at him differently again, as well.  It was a glance here and there, a “thank you” when he least expected it, and, of course, more sex than he’d had in years, despite the children.

     Dean was quickly beginning to realize that he desperately wanted to be a part of the little family she was putting together.

***Ember POV***

May

     April moved quickly into May.  Ember moved to Conway Springs, Kansas, and took a job there working with younger kids.  She delighted in her new duties as a parent.  Sometimes, on the weekends, she would take the three kids to live at the bunker.  All three of them enjoyed these trips, especially Krissy, and it kept them out of trouble.  During one such trip, they were able to catch Charlie as she left after working with Sam and Dean on a case.  Aidan liked Charlie immediately, and they spent a long time discussing comic books and computers.

     In mid-May, Dean and Sam managed to get Kevin back with the help of the Scribe of God, Metatron, who they had managed to track down thanks to Sam’s acute research skills.  Castiel was found, too, lying bleeding on the side of the road.  The angel tablet had been stolen by the demons, and Castiel had been injured trying to get away.  Ember knew that Dean had not yet forgiven the angel for ignoring his prayers, not trusting him with the tablet, and (of course) kissing his not-quite-girlfriend.  Still, upon Kevin and Castiel’s return, Ember noticed improvement in Dean’s disposition.

     Ember had hoped that even after she moved to Conway Springs that Dean would continue to have a role in the childrens’ lives, and she was not disappointed.  He spent as much time in Conway Springs as he did in Lebanon at the bunker, and Ember was finding herself falling more in love with him again each day.  He was wonderful with the children, he was attentive to her, and she finally began to feel that she might eventually be able to truly have a life with him.  He had even kept his drinking down to a minimum since he had escaped from Purgatory, at least in front of her and the children.

     The final piece of the puzzle, it seemed, was the trials.  Would they kill Sam?  How would Dean handle this?  Would they be successful in locking the doors to Hell?  In Ember’s mind, and, she knew, in Dean’s, the trials and their relationship had somehow become inexplicably linked, as though the outcome to the trials would also determine the outcome of Ember and Dean’s relationship.  In a perfect world, they would finish the trials, Sam would survive, and Dean would move between Conway Springs and Lebanon, sometimes hunting, sometimes being a father, as he was now.  Ember knew all too well, though, that things never turned out ideally for her, or for the Winchesters.

***Ember POV***

May 17, Afternoon

     “What do you mean you ‘fucked up?’” Ember said over the phone.  “How did the plan go wrong?  Did you do everything without me?”  The third trial was to cure a demon, and Sam and Dean had found records of an old experiment that showed them how.  The plan had been simple.

• Step 1: Dig up the two pieces of Abaddon, an extremely strong demon that Sam and Dean had defeated a year ago.  Abaddon was too strong to be killed with the demon knife, so Sam and Dean had trapped her in her vessel and separated her body from her head.
• Step 2: Sew the body to the head, keeping Abaddon trapped in the vessel.
• Step 3: Begin the process of curing the demon, which took several hours.
• Step 4: Ember would return home from work and join them.

     “Look, you can’t be more pissed off than I am!” Dean exclaimed, yelling into the receiver.

     Ember doubted that, but she let him continue.

     It was Sam who spoke next.  “Look, we’re really sorry, Ember.  Crowley called.  He’s trying to force our hand, threatening to kill people we’ve saved in the past.  He’s trying to get the demon tablet, but we’ll figure out something to save them.  We’re headed to Prosperity, Indiana to figure it all out.”

     “Okay, what does that have to do with the third trial?”

     “Well, we sort of got distracted, and she escaped.”

     Ember screamed with rage.  She had just pulled into the driveway of the house in Conway Springs, and in her anger she managed to uproot every single bush in the front yard without actually touching them.  Not five seconds after the bushes went flying past the windows, Ember saw the shadows of Krissy and Aidan readying shotguns from inside the house.

     “I gotta go, Sam,” Ember said. 

     “What?”

     “Look, I just accidentally uprooted all the shrubbery, and I think the kids are gonna shoot me.  Good luck with that.  Get another demon while you’re in Indiana, okay?”

     “That’s the plan,” Sam said, coughing.

     Ember would normally have asked Sam how he was feeling, but in her anger, she simply hung up.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

May 18

     “Well, we don’t have a demon,” said Sam on speaker phone the following day.  “But we know how to get one.”

     “Okay,” Ember said.  “Enlighten me.”  She had picked up pad thai for the kids, and was holding it away from herself because she hated the smell.

     “You know how we have a dungeon now?” Dean asked.   

     “Dean, do you know how many sentences you’ve started with ‘you know how we have a dungeon now?’ “ Ember asked.  Dean had managed to work the newly found dungeon into nearly every conversation he’d had with Ember in the week since he’d found it.

     “Do I want to know?” asked Sam.

     “No,” said Ember and Dean at the same time.

     “This time I’m serious, though,” said Dean.  “Remember all of those manacles that are made for trapping demons?  All I have to do is get close enough to Crowley when we supposedly surrender to him, and I can slap some handcuffs on him.”

     “Wait, whoa, whoa.  You’re going to try to cure Crowley?”  Ember set the pad thai down on the kitchen table.

     “He’s not letting any other demon near us,” Sam said.  “He knows the demon trials have to do with demons and Hell and hellhounds, and he’s not stupid.  He’s handling us personally from now on, he says.”

     “You’re both crazy, you know that?” Ember said.  “Nuts, both of you.”

     “Yeah, but you love us,” said Dean. 

     “So when is this deal going down with Crowley then?” Ember asked.

     “Noon tomorrow, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  At Bobby’s old place,” said Dean.

     “Shit!” exclaimed Ember.  “Guess I’m taking off work again then.”  She divided the pad thai into plates and unpacked it.  “Kids!  Dinner!” she yelled.

     “What’s dinner?” said Dean interestedly.

     “Pad thai,” said Ember.

     “You hate pad thai,” said Dean.

     “I was outvoted,” Ember grumbled.

     “Wanna come here for dinner?” Dean asked.

     “I probably ought to, if you’re heading north tomorrow,” Ember said.

     “First light,” Dean said.  “You’ll come tonight, then?  We have a dungeon now, you know…”

     “Oh, for Christ’s sake!” Sam said in the background.

     “Yeah, as soon as the kids are done eating and we talk a little bit I’ll be on my way.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     The first part of the plan went off without a hitch.  Dean managed to trap Crowley in manacles, and the three of them successfully took Crowley back to an abandoned church in South Dakota.

     “How are you feeling?” Dean asked Sam as they prepared to begin the ritual to “cure” Crowley.

     “Honestly?  For the first time in a long time, it feels like we’re gonna win.  I’m good.”

     Ember squeezed Sam’s hand reassuringly.  She knew he was more scared than he was letting on.  She was scared for him, too.  She knew the trials were making him very sick.

     “All right, well, no dancing in the end zone until we’re finished,” said Dean.  “What’s the good father’s play book say now?”

     “Well, now that we got the consecrated ground, I slip Crowley one dose of blood every hour for 8 hours and seal the deal with a bloody fist sandwich.  That should do it,” said Sam.

     “Doesn’t your blood have to be purified by confession or something?” asked Ember, remembering the ritual they had discussed with her the other day.

     “Have you ever done the ‘forgive me father’ before?” Dean asked.

     “Once, when we were kids,” Sam said, avoiding their eyes.  “Which is why I have no clue what to say now.”

     “Well, I could give you suggestions, if you want,” said Dean.

     “Okay, yeah, sure,” said Sam.

     “Well, I’m just spit-balling here,” said Dean, “But if I were you, I’d start with Ruby, killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul, and not looking for me when I went to Purgatory, for starters.”

     “Dean, don’t be a dick,” Ember said, as Sam began to look more and more ashamed and uncomfortable.

     “And how about what you did to Penny Markle in the sixth grade?” Dean yelled after Sam as he took more gear into the abandoned church.  “Why don’t you lead with that?”

     “That was you, Dean,” Sam responded.

     As soon as Sam was in the church, Ember hissed, “You didn’t really have to bring up all of those things.”

     “He asked!” Dean said defensively.

     Ember rolled her eyes.

     Just then, Castiel appeared.  “Dean, I need your help.”

     “Now, Cas, seriously?” Ember said to the angel.

     “Little busy, Cas, take a number,” Dean said.

     “I’m afraid this can’t wait,” Castiel said.  “Naomi has taken Metatron.”

     Ember looked at Dean.  “Wait, the Scribe of God?  I thought you said that dude was in deep cover in Colorado?”

     “How do you know Metatron?” Dean asked Castiel.

     “I’ve been working with him on the angel trials,” Castiel said.

     “The what?” said Ember and Dean.

     “We’re gonna shut it all down,” said Castiel.  “Heaven, Hell, all of it.”

     “Metatron?” Dean asked in disbelief.  “The guy who was full-on crazy, cat-lady-hoarder angel yesterday – now he wants to save Heaven?”

     “Yes, he wants to,” Castiel said.  “But I’m the only one who can.  I can’t fail Dean, not on this one.  I need your help.”

     “Are you sure, Cas?” Ember said.  “This sounds like another half-cocked plan to me.”

     “Metatron is the Scribe of God,” Castiel said, turning to her.  “He knows what’s on the tablet.  Don’t you think the angels should stay in Heaven for awhile?  They’re all fighting up there in Heaven, and eventually if Heaven isn’t sealed, it’s all going to spill over on Earth.”

     “Look, Cas, that’s all well and good, okay, but you’re asking me to leave Sam.  And we’ve got Crowley in there tied and tressed.  Now if anybody needs a chaperone while doing the heavy lifting, it’s Sam,” said Dean.

     “You should go,” said Sam, walking up behind them.  “Seriously.”

     “What, and leave you here with the King of Hell?” asked Dean.

     “I’ll be here,” Ember said.  “Nobody’s going to escape this time, trust me.”

     And so it was decided.  “Start the injections,” Dean told them.  “If I’m not back in 8 hours, finish it.  No questions, no hesitation.”  And so Dean and Ember kissed each other goodbye.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember was glad she stayed.  After the second of 8 injections, Crowley bit Sam’s arm.  While Sam was washing up, Crowley spit out Sam’s blood and attempted to call another demon, but Ember covered him in holy water instead, threatening to cut his arm off if he tried it again.

     After the fifth trial, it became obvious to Ember that Sam was getting weaker and weaker as the trials continued.

     “Sam, you know there is a strong likelihood these trials will kill you,” Ember whispered.

     “I know,” said Sam.  He looked at her carefully.  “I’ve known for awhile.”

     “What does Dean think about this?” Ember asked softly.

     “Dean still thinks I’ll pull through,” Sam admitted with a guilty look.  “But Ember, if I finish this – if I make up for all that crap Dean mentioned earlier – it’ll all be worth it.”

     Ember wound her arms around Sam, who was sitting crosslegged on the floor in the corner of the abandoned church.  “Sam, nobody blames you for any of that stuff anymore.  You don’t have to make up for any of that stuff.”

     “I know,” Sam said.  “But it’s more than that.  You and Dean can have a happy life together, you know?  I mean, I want that… I almost wish I’d stayed away after I fell into the cage, except… I didn’t enjoy the cage much.”

     “Sam, Dean was never truly happy when you were in Hell.  You must know that,” Ember told him.  “We tried that, remember?”

     “Well, yeah, but at least part of that was because I was in Hell,” Sam pointed out.  “You’ve said so yourself.  Plus, me and Dean, we’ve both been to Hell, and we’ve both been to Purgatory, now, and we’ve even both been to Heaven.  I know which one I prefer, and I don’t know when I’ll get another chance.  I’m not taking the tour again.  I want it to be over, Ember.  I want to be up there, with Bobby, and Mom, and Dad.  I’m sick, and I’m tired of all the pain.  I mean, sure, living would be great, but if I can put the demons back in the box, for good?  What more can a hunter ask for?”

     Ember hugged him, tears in her eyes.   

     “Ember, you have to promise me,” Sam said. “Promise me you won’t let him try to bring me back.  Not this time.  Not from Heaven.”

     “I can try,” Ember said.  “But you know Dean as well as I do.”

     “I know,” Sam said.  “Just… try, okay?”

     Ember hugged him.  “I’ll try,” she said.  Then she added, “I wish you’d let me kill that stupid hellhound.”

     “I don’t,” said Sam.

     “There’s nothing I can do to talk you out of this, is there?” she asked him, begging now.

     “No,” he whispered.

     Ember wished that Dean was back.  She called him… but there was no answer.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

    After the seventh injection, Sam was looking horrible.  Ember was running cold towels back and forth from a creek outside just to keep his fever down enough to finish the trials.  It was almost over though… and Sam would be dead.  She had been so busy with the children.  How could she not have realized it had gotten this bad?  But it was Sam’s choice.

     Suddenly, just as Sam was about to finish the third trial, Dean burst back through the door.  “Sammy, stop!”

     Sam froze, his hand to Crowley’s mouth.  They were so close.  Crowley was showing signs of repentance, and Sam’s arm was glowing white…

    “Easy there,” Dean said.  “Okay.  Just take it easy.  We’ve got a slight change in plan.”

     “What?” Sam asked.  “What’s going on?  Where’s Cas?”

     “Metatron lied,” Dean said.  “If you finish this trial, you’re dead, Sam.”

     Sam looked at Ember, then back at Dean.  “So?  Look at him.  Look at him!  Look how close we are!  Other people will die if I don’t finish this!”

     “Think about it,” said Dean.  “Think about what we know.  Pulling souls from Hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a hellhound!  We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here.  But I can’t do it without you.”

     Ember was caught in the middle.  She knew what Dean was doing.  He didn’t want Sam to die.  She didn’t want Sam to die, either, but she also wasn’t sure if that ship had already sailed.  She knew there was a strong possibility that if they stopped the trials now, Sam would still die, and it would be for nothing.  And she desperately wanted the trials completed.

     “You can barely do it with me!” Sam exclaimed.  “I mean, you think I screw up everything I try.  You think I need a chaperone, remember?”

     “Come on, man, that’s not what I meant,” Dean said, looking at Ember for support.

     “No, it’s exactly what you meant,” said Sam.  “You wanna know what I confessed in there?  What my greatest sin was?  It was how many times I let you down.”

     “Sam,” Ember said gently.

     “I can’t do that again,” Sam said, still insistent.

     “Sam,” Dean said.

     “What happens when you’ve decided I can’t be trusted, again?” Sam asked.  “Either of you?  I’m a… I’m a third wheel!  I always take… I always drive you away from each other, somehow or another, with… with secrets, with demon blood, or just by showing up!  Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch two people who so, so deserve to be happy, just keep missing it, because I keep screwing up?  And… who are you gonna turn to next time you break up, instead of me?  Another angel, another… vampire?”

    Ember was shocked.  He had hidden all of this from her?  She had thought he was her best friend, that he understood that they no longer held any of those things against him…

     “Hold on, hold on!” Dean said.  “You seriously think that?  Because none of it – none of it – is true.  Listen, man, I know we’ve had our disagreements, okay?  Hell, I know I’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels.  But Sammy… come on.”

     Ember had run to hug him, and was crying into his lapels.  “Sam, I thought you knew… I thought we talked about this?  This isn’t what I want!  This isn’t what Dean wants!  Don’t do it because of that!”

     “I killed Benny to save you!” Dean was yelling.  “I’m willing to let this bastard, and all the sons of bitches that killed Mom walk because of you.  Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you!  It has never been like that, ever!  I need you to see that!  I’m begging you!”

     Sam was crying now, and Ember was crying, too.  Slowly, though, he let the blood run out of his hand.  He was breathing hard, and his fever was raging; Ember could feel it through his clothing.  She wanted to say something to Dean, to tell him she wasn’t sure if Sam wasn’t beyond saving, but it was happening so fast.  She wished she’d been able to stall Sam for longer, but she’d barely been able to make things take this long.

     “How do I stop?” Sam asked.

     “Just let it go,” Dean said. 

     “I can’t,” Sam said.  “It’s in me, Dean, you don’t know what this feels like.”

     “Dean,” said Ember, “Feel him.  Dean, I’m not sure if, even if we stop now…”

     But Dean was determined.  “Listen, we will figure it out.  Okay?  Just like we always do.”  And he tied a rag around Sam’s hand.  Sam was struggling to keep upright; his weight was mostly on Ember.  Dean pulled him into a hug, though, and Ember almost staggered back as the weight left her abruptly.

     “Dean, can you feel him?  Dean, maybe it-…” Ember started.

     Suddenly, Sam doubled over in pain.  Dean and Ember each took one of his arms, and together they raced outside.  “Castiel!  Castiel!”

     But outside, Ember saw why Castiel was not appearing.  All around them, coming from the sky, were the angels… falling to Earth.

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

May 20, Very early morning

"Why didn't you call me when he got this sick?"

"I did,´ Ember said. She was sitting across from Dean, both of them on either side of Sam's hospital bed.

"Why didn't you text me?"

"I did. Dean, have you even looked at your phone?"

He hadn't. He really probably should have done that. Things had been so busy, with Castiel and Naomi… he'd lost track of time, to be honest. He had noticed that that tended to happen when angels fly you around all over the United States.

"Why didn't you stall Sam?"

"I did," she said again. "Otherwise he would've gone through with the trials. Besides, it wasn't only my job to notice how sick he's been. I haven't been the one that's been around him all the time. I've been with my kids."

Ember's words hurt him. He knew he had been an asshole to her first, but he still felt as though she had somehow gone for the jugular. She had suggested that he hadn't done everything he could to protect Sam, and he felt the anger rise up inside him before he could stop it. "Well, you should've tried harder!" he snapped.

Ember's face contorted. "Don't blame me just because you were the one who got him into this!" Ember snapped. "And now my guess is you're going to try something stupid to save him, like go to a damn crossroads demon and sell your soul again."

"I would never-…"

"Sam doesn't want to be saved, Dean."

Dean stopped, looking at her curiously, his face twisting in disgust. "Yeah, he told us, remember? He wanted to sacrifice himself so that we could be happy, and prove to me that he wasn't-… that he wasn't-…" Dean slammed his fist into the wall, unable to look at Sam or Ember anymore.

"Dean, it's more than that," Ember said. "Sam talked to me… before you got there. He told me some of what he said when you arrived, but there was more to the story, too."

This surprised Dean. "What are you talking about?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Dean, Sam told me he's known he was probably going to die for awhile."

The words cut Dean as though with a knife, and he looked away from Ember, angry again. "Then he should've-…"

"What would you have done?" Ember asked, and Dean fell silent.

"Dean, Sam pointed out that you've both been to Hell, and Purgatory, and even Heaven. He reminded me that going to these places is just another day for you two. He's right… I never know when you're gonna get stuck in Hell, or Purgatory, or in 1947, for Christ's sake! He said he wanted it done, he wanted it over… he wasn't sure when he was going to get another chance to go to Heaven, and if he got to go to Heaven, he… he wanted to stay there. He made me promise that if he died, we'd leave him well enough alone."

"I didn't make that promise," Dean said angrily.

"It's what he wants,", snapped Ember. "You owe him that."

"I owed him a better life!" Dean yelled. "He did the trials because I thought it was a good idea, and he kept it up because he didn't want to disappoint me, and then he stopped them because I interfered, so we didn't even do anything for him to die for!"

Ember's face contorted in fury. "Well, I tried to tell you-…" She cut herself off, and Dean could tell she was calming herself with effort.

Finally she said, "Dean, this isn't like when you guys went to Hell, or Purgatory. Sam's going to Heaven. He'll be with your mother, and your father, and that's what happens! People die! And you can't keep circumventing-…"

"I'll bind Death again if I have to!"

At that Ember's face grew dark. "Dean, this has got to stop. It's not right. It's a goddamn miracle you haven't been trapped in some other damn plane of existence or Hell or whatever, and if he dies, for God's sake, leave him be. Don't drag him back here just so that he can spend fifty more years getting sliced open or sent to the future or whatever the hell happens-…"

"He's my brother!" Dean said as if this ended the argument.

The window broke suddenly, and Dean knew that Ember could no longer control her anger at the situation. Sure enough, Ember said, "Damn it, Dean, I can't talk to you when you're like this. I'm gonna get some food. Maybe you'll be reasonable after some pie."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

Another day went by, with no change in Sam's condition. That day, Sam was transferred to New York, which had a hospital with a specialization in severe trauma like Sam's, and Dean went with him. Ember was still angry at Dean, and still disagreed with him on the best course of action. Still, she agreed to take a flight to New York as soon as she checked in with the children and got things squared away back in Kansas.

In New York, however, Dean was met with more bad news. "The MRI shows massive internal burns affecting many of the major organs," said Sam's doctor. "Oxygen to the brain has been severely deprived. The coma is the result of the body doing everything in its limited power to protect itself from further harm… If your brother continues on this trajectory, the machines might keep him alive, but…"

"He'll be dead?" asked Dean.

"Technically, yes," said the doctor. "I'm afraid so."

So Dean prayed to Castiel again, but Castiel either couldn't come or wouldn't come.

As usual, he thought. "Screw it," he said finally. And so he prayed to all of the angels. "Okay, listen up. This one goes out to any angel with their ears on. This is Dean Winchester, and I need your help. The deal is this. Linwood Memorial Hospital, Randolph, New York. The first one who can help me gets my help in return, and you know that ain't nothing. Hell, it's no secret that we haven't always seen eye to eye, but you know that I'm good for my word. And I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't needing."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

"I'm at the airport," Ember said on speaker phone. "I'll be in New York in a few hours. Can you come pick me up?"

"Well, change of plans," said Dean hesitantly. "Um… we'll be back in Kansas in a few days."

"What?"

"Sam woke up," Dean said. He held his breath.

There was a long pause. "Dean Winchester, what did you do?"

There were only two directions to go with this, and both of them were likely to end in disaster. "I prayed to the angels."

"You did what?!" Ember exclaimed.

Dean made his voice sound excited. "I was desperate! But it's okay, it's fine! There was… some fighting, but it's okay! One of the angels was able to heal Sam, and we'll be back in a few days."

"Dean, Cas said Sam was messed up 'in ways even he couldn't heal', and he's a pretty high-ranking angel. How did an angel manage to heal Sam?" He could hear the anger in her voice. He could hear hope, too, but he knew she was too smart for that.

"I don't know! It's… look, I'm just glad it happened, okay?"

"Dean, the doctor said he was brain-dead. I'm pretty sure most of the angels want you dead. And I also know you have the King of Hell in the trunk of your car. So I'm gonna ask you again. Dean Winchester, what did you do?"

Dean covered the receiver and turned to the angel, Ezekiel, who was currently possessing Sam. He shrugged.

"You cannot tell her," the angel said. "It is too dangerous."

"Who is that?" said Ember from the other end of the phone.

"It's nobody," Dean said. "It's Sam."

"Put Sam on the phone," said Ember.

"He's not well enough yet," said Ezekiel.

"What?" Ember said, and Dean realized with a start that he had forgotten to cover the receiver again. "I can hear Sam. Dean Winchester, please do not tell me you had Crowley possess Sam. What did you do?"

It was Ezekiel who spoke up, then, with an accusatory look at Dean. "I am the angel Ezekiel," he said. "I was injured in the fall. For the time being, I am possessing Sam. We are healing each other. He cannot know that I am here. He is not ready to awaken yet, but he will be in a couple of days. At that point, he will go on with his normal life and no one need know I am buried within him. Then, when we are both healed, I will leave."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Dean shut his eyes in anticipation. Finally, Ember said, "Ezekiel, put Dean back on the phone."

Ezekiel did. "Dean, how could you!?" Ember screeched. "How did an angel possess Sam!? Sam would never consent to this!"

Dean remembered what Ezekiel had shown him in Sam's head. Can you promise that this time it will be final? That if I'm dead, I stay dead? Nobody can reverse it, nobody can deal it away, and nobody else can get hurt because of me. "Sam was about to die, and I did what I had to!" Dean responded.

"Not. Answering. My question," Ember said tersely.

"Ezekiel showed himself to Sam as me."

"Okay, and was this Ezekiel's idea, or yours?"

"Ezekiel's, but only after everything else had been tried. Cas said he's a good angel. 'A good soldier,' he said."

"Oh, great, because Cas has had a lot of good ideas lately," Ember said sarcastically.

Dean felt his anger rise at Ember, even though he himself had been angry at Castiel only days before. "Look, whatever you do, just don't tell Sam,´ Dean said.

"Why?" snapped Ember. "Because he could kick Ezekiel out and it could kill him? Dean, didn't we discuss this in the hospital?"

"What was I supposed to do, just leave him to die?" Dean yelled into the phone.

"Yes!" Ember said.

And Dean hung up on her.

Twenty minutes later, Ember called back. Dean thought about not taking the call, but it occurred to him that he needed to make sure that she wouldn't tell Sam about Ezekiel. "Look," Ember said. "I'll keep your secret." Thank God. "But this is it, Dean. I'm done. Don't call me. Don't come around my children. I don't want to be involved in any more ridiculous 'Winchester cheating death' drama."

"Fine," Dean snapped. "I did what I had to. If you can't understand that, then have a good life."

***Ember POV***

June 15, Evening

ONE MONTH LATER

Ember had just checked on all three kids, and was about to head to bed herself, when the phone rang. "It was a number Ember didn't recognize, so she picked it up with more than a bit of trepidation.

"Ember?" said the person on the other end.

"Cas?!" Ember said excitedly. "Jesus, I haven't heard from you since before the Fall! Sam said that Metatron took your grace, and-…"

"Hi. Look, I hate to ask, but… Dean's been really busy with Sam –…"

"Yeah he has," grumbled Ember.

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah," said Ember, hurrying to cover up her slip. "It's a long story. Where are you? I haven't heard from you in weeks. Sam said you were human now, and I've been so wor-…"

"Yeah," said Castiel. "I'm nearby, actually, at Dean and Sam's, except… well, some things have come up. I'm awfully embarrassed, but… if you're willing, I could really use some help…"

***Castiel POV***

June 16, Morning

It was early in the morning. Castiel had awoken early at Ember's. He had found some ingredients in the kitchen, and made some bacon. He had learned to do this when he worked at the soup kitchen, and was extremely proud of his knowledge.

As he had hoped, Ember was the first one to stagger down the stairs. "Whoa, Cas!" she exclaimed when she saw the bacon. "Jesus, wow, thanks!" Her smile lit up her face, and Castiel felt an uncomfortable swooping in his stomach. He recognized it, because he had always felt this way around Ember… but now that he was human, it was so, so much worse…

Ember piled some bacon on a plate and went to sit next to Castiel. "Cas, are you sure you need to leave this evening? I mean, we could really use this sort of culinary talent…"

Castiel glowed at the compliment, but nodded. "Dean told me I would need to keep moving, even if I came here. The girl I told you about last night, Rachel, was proof that reapers can find me, if they're really looking."

Ember frowned when Castiel mentioned Dean's name, and Castiel caught the look. It marred her previously smiling face, and he was almost sad he had brought up Dean. In the end, however, curiousity got the better of him. "Ember, why did you and Dean break up again?"

Ember looked at him, and she appeared to be weighing her words, and possibly considering how much she wanted to say. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said.

Finally, Ember shook her head. "No, it's okay. It's not like I have any loyalty to Dean anymore anyway. The only Winchester I still talk to is Sam, and to be honest, he might actually be better off if you did know. It's just…"

Castiel looked at her questioningly. "Cas, you have to promise that even if you take this up with Dean, or even Sam… you can't tell anyone else. Okay?"

Who was he going to tell? It's not like he talked to anyone else. "Good point," said Ember when he explained this.

Once again, Ember seemed to be weighing her words, and finally she said, "How much do you know about… about the end of the trials? About Sam… you said that he was 'damaged in ways even you couldn't heal.' Remember?"

Castiel thought back to what Dean had told him on the phone that first night after the angels had fallen. "Dean said… he said he was dying. But… he said there was an angel healing him. Ezekiel." But now that Castiel thought about this, it didn't seem to make sense. He had been so caught up in surviving, and all the nuances of being human, that he hadn't really thought about Dean and Sam. Now, however, he realized that something seemed horribly fishy.

"Is that what he told you?" Ember asked, and her voice turned cold.

"Ember… what happened?" He wished he still had his angel powers, and that he could read her mind… but he couldn't.

Ember told him that Sam had been ready for death, that he had wanted it – for some of the wrong reasons, perhaps, but possibly for some of the right reasons. She explained that Dean had made a deal with Ezekiel to heal Sam from the inside. She explained that Ezekiel had posed as Dean so that Sam would consent.

"Why would he do that?" Castiel said.

"I'll tell you why," Ember said. "Because Dean is afraid to be alone, that's why. He pushes others away, but he's terrified to be alone. The fact that he would go against Sam's wishes, after all of the suffering Sam has been through…"

"Not Dean," said Castiel. "Ezekiel."

"What?" asked Ember.

"Ezekiel was a good soldier, a good warrior. Kind-hearted, and always obeyed. He was never the first to kill, nor anxious for leadership. He was never ambitious. But he would never so readily break a rule that is so important to angels, particularly if he were not commanded by a superior. Ezekiel would never possess a human with dubious consent."

Ember looked sour, and Castiel thought for a moment. "Perhaps the fall has scared him. I will visit him tomorrow. I should see if I can help."

"Cas, that's a terrible idea," Ember said, looking suddenly fearful.

"Ember, you must understand… this is my responsibility. I must do what I can to help."

Ember shook her head. "I shouldn't have told you," she said. "Can't you just… can't you just call them?"

Castiel thought about this for a second. "I suppose that would be safer, given that I am human now," he agreed.

With trepidation, Castiel dialed Dean's number. "Dean," Castiel said. "Would you please put Ezekiel on the phone?"

There was silence, then Dean said bitingly, "I take it you made it to Ember's okay."

"Yes, thank you," Castiel said pleasantly.

There was no further response, but a few moments later a voice that sounded like Sam, but was not quite Sam, answered the phone. "Castiel, I presume?"

"Ezekiel," answered Castiel. "How are you? After the fall?"

"I am hurt," said Ezekiel calmly from the other end of the line. "What you did was unforgiveable, Castiel."

"I'm sorry, Ezekiel," said Castiel miserably. "I was tricked. I-…"

"I know," said Ezekiel. "But other angels will not be so kind."

"I know," said Castiel. "I wanted to ask you about Sam. How is he doing?"

"He is hurt very badly," said Ezekiel. "As am I. We are healing each other."

Castiel was silent for a minute. Then he said, "Ezekiel, why would you go against Sam's wishes to die? Against his wishes to be possessed?"

Ezekiel paused. "It is a time for angels to reconsider our rules, Castiel. You taught all of us that. You should know, more than anyone, the value of the Winchesters owing you a favor. I am doing what I must." He paused again. "Besides, is this not what you would have done? Would you allow a Winchester to die?"

Castiel paused to consider his answer to that, but Ezekiel spoke again. "Do not call on me again, Castiel. Sam will begin to get suspicious."

"Ezekiel, I-…"

But it was Dean who spoke next. "Look, Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Call me, if you really need something. But otherwise… just, until Sam's better…"

Castiel looked at Ember glumly. "I understand, Dean. I'll stay away, from now on."

When Castiel hung up the phone, he looked over at Ember. He wasn't sure what to say about the conversation he had just had, or how he should react to it.

"Dean lied to you," Ember said angrily, taking the matter out of his hands. "He didn't want you to know about Ezekiel. Really, it was Ezekiel that didn't want you at the bunker." She scoffed. "Assholes."

Castiel thought for a moment. He felt less hurt, knowing now that Dean really did want his company. And, he supposed he could understand why Dean had turned him away, even better now than he had before. He had been trying to protect Sam, even more than Castiel had originally thought.

He could also understand why Dean had lied to him about the situation. From a strategic standpoint, Dean had been right in playing this close to the vest. Castiel knew that Dean made no exceptions and took no chances when it came to Sam's well-being. "I don't understand," said Castiel. "What is so bad about wanting Sam to live? I agree that he should not have been… deceived, in this way. But aren't these mistakes part of what make you human?"

Ember had finished the bacon, and put the plate in the sink, slamming it with perhaps more gusto than she needed to. "I want Sam alive as much as anyone," she said. 'That's not the part I'm angry about."

Castiel looked at her curiously.

"I mean, there's the obvious part, that it should've been Sam's decision, and that Dean and Ezekiel did this without Sam's consent. And then there's the fact that we don't know anything about Ezekiel… I mean, obviously he's changed from how you remember him. And who knows when Ezekiel's going to take a notion to rebel, to use Sam's body for whatever the hell he wants…"

"I don't think Ezekiel would-…" Castiel began.

"But it's more than that, Cas," Ember said. "Sam had a chance to go to Heaven. And he chose to go to Heaven. After… after Purgatory, after the trials, after watching his mother and his girlfriend burn on the ceiling, after Lucifer. His soul spent more than 120 years in that damn cage, and after all that, he had a chance, and Dean stole that from him. You know how the Winchesters live. One day they're fine, and the next they're, I don't know, 500 years in the past, or burning in Hell! Who can tell when he'll get the opportunity to go to Heaven again – if he ever does!'

Castiel had not thought about this, but now that Ember explained it, he was startled by his friends' decision.

"Does Dean understand this?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, Dean understands it," Ember said darkly, beginning to rinse the dishes. "He just doesn't care. He doesn't know what to do without Sam. He's scared to be alone. He's being selfish. This, on top of… of him never being around, never wanting to settle down, and all the other dumb decisions he's made… how can I be in a relationship with someone when I'm constantly scared they're going to do something stupid?"

Castiel thought about this as he walked over to help Ember with the dishes. He thought about Dean, and Ember, and their pasts, both together and apart from each other. Finally he said, "I suppose I understand. It must hurt you, especially, after you've had to work so hard for the chance to get into Heaven, being a half-demon. It's like Dean is throwing that away, for Sam."

Ember froze, both hands still covered in water and soap suds. She turned to Castiel, and for a second he thought that perhaps she might slap him. Her face went through several emotions – angry, upset, devastated. Finally, Ember dropped the plates into the sink and turned off the water, and Castiel realized that she was crying. There were large tears rolling down her cheeks, and she was trying not to look at him.

Without knowing what he was doing, without thinking about it, Castiel reached out to Ember and pulled her into his arms. He remembered, as though from another lifetime, the last time he had been forced to provide comfort to her, when she had been confronted at her home by Alastair. I'm not accustomed to dealing with crying women… How things had changed. She smelled like oranges and demon, and despite her tears, he felt his human body respond to her nearness. He stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Cas," she said, wiping her eyes. "I… just…"

"I didn't mean to upset you," Castiel said.

"No, you're right. Maybe that is why… why it hit me so hard. That doesn't change anything though," she said. "What Dean did is still wrong."

"Undoubtedly," Castiel said.

Ember looked surprised. "Really?"

"You've given me your reasons, and I agree with them," he said simply.

She appeared to have cheered up somewhat, and smiled wanly. "Thanks, Castiel," she said.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

July 13, Evening

ONE MONTH LATER

     “Hey Aidan, what’s going on?” Ember said, answering the phone from her job.  She was worried immediately – none of the kids called while she was at work unless it was an emergency.  She could hear thunderclaps outside, and she worried immediately that Josephine had wrecked her car.  Ember was working late, and it was already dark outside.

     “I just wanted to let you know that I went ahead and let Cas in,” Aidan said.

     “You’re sure it was really Cas?” Ember said, immediately worried.

     “Yeah.  When he realized you weren’t there, he did the holy water, and the salt, and the silver, and the angel expulsion sigil, and he still just looked like a drowned puppy dog on the porch.  So yeah, I’m sure it was Cas.”

     Ember sighed.  “Thanks for letting him in.  Good job with the checking.”

     “Is he going to stay more than a couple of days this time?  He gets thinner every time he shows up, seriously.”

     “I suppose it must be really bad, if you noticed it,” she chided the boy gently.  “But, you know how he is.  He never wants to stay for long.”

     Ember wished Castiel could stay longer.  Every time he was over, she felt she was constantly smiling.  He called often, even while he was away, at her request, usually from payphones.  She had always told him to keep in touch, but it was only since he became human that he seemed to have taken her request literally.  Honestly, she rather thought he was bored.

     Ember also knew, however, that Castiel couldn’t afford to stay with her for very long.  At most, he stayed two days, but usually only one, always coming and going under cover of nightfall.  Then he had to move on.  “I appreciate your hospitality,” he always said.  “You can’t know what this means to me.  I feel so lonely all the time.  You keep me fed, and clothed… I wish I could do more for you.”

     “Are you sure you have to leave?” she would ask.  “What about the warding?  Shouldn’t that protect you?”

     But he would shake his head.  “I can’t allow you and your family to be hurt on my account,” he would say.  “No one can know I come here from time to time.”

     And she would nod, and allow him to leave.  She always missed him, however. 

     When Castiel was around, things always seemed to get done more quickly.  Castiel, it transpired, was a far better cook than Ember or any of the three children.  Apparently, he had picked up a lot of things in homeless shelters and food kitchens.  It seemed to be one of the few things that came naturally for him, now that he was a human.  He also cleaned, and spent time helping the children with homework, and even teaching them fighting skills.

     “Jesus, Cas, you’re like the…”  Husband I never had.  “Never mind.  Cas, you don’t have to do all of this.  I know it’s been hard for you, all of this new humany stuff.  Let me take care of you.”

     “Nonsense,” Castiel said.  “You give me the gift of your hospitality, as often as I can risk it.  I do as much as I can to earn my keep.”

     Ember enjoyed the evenings with Castiel more than almost any other time in her life.  All three of the children would spend their evenings at various appointments – studying, with friends, or on various forms of social media.  Ember would watch television or play video games, and Castiel would always join her.  He asked questions about even the most ridiculous or mundane show or video game.  Somehow, these questions always turned into deep conversations about the human existence. 

     Over the summer, Ember and Castiel talked about everything – Dean, Sam, the apocalypse, Castiel’s days as “God”, Ember’s job, therapy in general, the children, Ember’s relationship with Dean, and Castiel’s time on the run.

     And one day, when Castiel left in early July, it occurred to Ember that she hadn’t thought about Dean in weeks.  Not too long after that, Ember realized she was falling for him.

***Castiel POV***

July 13

     Castiel was in way over his head.  Being human was difficult enough.  He had been around a long time, however, and was a fairly intelligent being, so most of the new “human” things were more “annoying” than “difficult”.  Urinating and defecating fell into that category.  Eating and drinking were a little more difficult, as was finding a comfortable place to sleep and live.  He had never been one for material things, even compared with other angels, so he didn’t mind living with the homeless, or sleeping in mildly uncomfortable places.  He had also learned enough from Dean and Sam to know, generally, how to survive in less than ideal circumstances.

     The way Castiel saw it, he had three major problems.  The first, obviously, was that since he unwittingly helped Metatron cast all of the angels out of Heaven, they were all out for blood.  He had done the best he could – he had gotten a tattoo to ward himself, and an additional tattoo to ward off reapers, after the debacle with April.  He had desperately hoped he could stay with Sam and Dean, but he understood why Dean had cast him out – it was, after all, safer that way while Sam recovered.

     The other two problems were guilt and hormones.  Guilt was, honestly, the largest of the two.  He was constantly on the run – he understood that now.  He could never stay in one place for long.  If there were angel-related deaths nearby, he had already overstayed his welcome.  He put others around him in danger, even untraceable as he now was thanks to his new tattoo.  What he had done was incomprehensible, and he was absolutely desperate for some way to make things better, any possible way to redeem himself.

     The other problem was hormones.  He had never truly understood the male sex drive, but he was beginning to understand why humans committed so much sin. 

     Having sex with April had been a mistake.  It had been an enjoyable and educational mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.  Dean and Sam had seemed impressed, so that was something.  Still, he had ended up dead because of it, which he was pretty sure wasn’t supposed to happen after coitus.

     The real reason he was beginning to think that sex with April had been a mistake, however, was because it seemed to have awakened something inside of him that left him constantly wanting.  This constant need had been bad enough before April – he had gotten used to the need to pleasure himself daily, but at least he hadn’t known what he was missing.  It was only after April, however, that he began to wonder what sex would be like with the person he was truly in love with – Ember.

     It had been bad enough when he was an angel, and her half-demon powers attracted him.  Now, being around her felt like a sweet kind of torture.  She had been kind enough to let him into her house – to let him eat her food, sleep on her couch, and keep her company.  He was never able to do much for her other than clean her house, help her kids with homework, and cook; he never felt like he did enough.  Still, she always seemed happy to see him.

     He wished he could spend all of his time at Ember’s, but he dare not.  He knew he was being tracked, and he couldn’t afford to put Ember and her children in danger.  Therefore, he kept his visits to once or twice each week.  They were the highlight of his life.

***Castiel POV***

August 3

     “You do realize this game is very crass, don’t you?” asked Castiel for the third time that night.

     “Duh,” said Krissy.  “That’s what makes it so much fun.”

     Ember rolled her eyes.  “I can’t believe you guys talked me into playing Cards Against Humanity with an angel, for Christ’s sake,” she said, her head in her hands.

     “I’m not an angel,” Castiel responded.  “I’m human now.”

     “Exactly,” said Aidan.  “And, as a human, it is our duty to introduce you to Cards Against Humanity.  Besides, Cas.  You’re winning.  Josie, it’s your turn to choose.”

     “Fine,” said Josephine.  She picked up a black card.  “What never fails to liven up the party?”

     “An ex-angel who keeps asking what all of these cards mean,” joked Krissy, giving Castiel a big grin. 

     “I’m not sure whether to be insulted or not,” Castiel said honestly.

     “Don’t be,” Ember said.  “We’re having a great time.  This is literally the most fun game of Cards Against I’ve ever played.”

     “What is ‘pixelated bukkake’?” asked Castiel, and the entire group, including him, burst out laughing.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “I hope I didn’t embarrass myself in the game earlier today,” Castiel told Ember late that night.  They were watching Doctor Who, and it was a commercial break.

     Ember laughed.  Castiel liked the sound of her laugh.  “You did,” she said, “But it was in a good way.  Here, it’s back on.”

     Castiel supposed that would have to be good enough; he had made her happy, and that was something.  He watched the show intently, but he found that he didn’t understand it.  “I don’t understand this show’s concept of Heaven,” he told Ember during the next commercial break.  “Why is Heaven full of skeletons in tanks of water?”

     “It’s not actually Heaven,” Ember told him.  “The Doctor’s enemy, the Master, has figured out how to use advanced technology from their home planet to intercept the souls when people die and put them into Cybermen so that she can take over the world.”

     Castiel thought about this.  “It’s all very complicated,” he said.

     Ember was staring at the screen intently, even though the episode was over.  It was obvious she was still thinking about something.

     “Castiel, where do angels go when they die?”

     Castiel stopped to think about it.  “I’ve been told we – I mean, they – go to the empty.”

     Ember frowned, staring curiously at Castiel.  “What’s that?”

     “I’m not sure,” he said honestly.

     “And… what about you?” asked Ember, looking at him and scooting closer as if to search for something in his eyes.  “You’re human… but do you have a soul?”

     “I… don’t know that either,” he said.  He thought back to his time in the homeless shelters and on the run, and what he had learned so far about his human self.  “But… I have no temptation toward wrong-doing, like other humans do when they don’t have a soul.  I’ve been angry, but I have no urge to kill humans.  I’ve been upset, and guilty, and remorseful, and I feel it deeply.”  He continued to think about it.  “Perhaps I do have a soul, or… perhaps I simply have lived too long as an angel for it to matter.”

     Ember seemed to consider this.  Finally she said, “If you do have a soul, then that means when you die, you’ll go to Heaven, right?”

     “I suppose so, yes.”

     “Each soul has its own Heaven, right?” she asked.  “Dean told me that.”

     “Yes, that’s true,” Castiel said.  Then he asked, “What would yours look like?”, because he simply wanted to know.

     She thought a moment.  “Spending time with my mother,” she answered honestly.  “Before I knew about demons, and before I had powers.  Before I was constantly scared.”

     Castiel was shocked at her answer, and the flippancy with which she said it.  He wished that she never had to be scared again.  For a second, he wished that Sam had gone through with the trials and locked the demons into Hell forever.  As he was about to say something to this effect (though perhaps not about Sam), Ember asked, “What would yours look like?”

     Castiel had spent a lot of time in the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who had drowned in a bathtub in 1953.  It had been peaceful there, with flowers, and a sprawling landscape.  He was about to explain this to Ember, but then he had another thought.

     “Here, I think,” he answered honestly.  “Here, with you.”

     “Really?”  She asked.  “Why am I so special?”

     “You are very special,” Castiel said, thinking fast.  “You accept me, even after everything I’ve done.  And… and you’re funny.  And your children are truly delightful.  You are all models of the human species.”

     Ember began to laugh, and she reached across the sofa to hug him.  They gave each other quick hugs when they said good-bye, Castiel reflected later, but this was only the second time she had given him a long hug like this one.  Once again, he inhaled the scent of oranges and felt his body begin to respond to her closeness.  This time, however, he did not let go, but simply moved slightly backward, making sure to cover the evidence of his arousal.  Finally, when she moved to let go, he did as well, feeling suddenly cold at the loss of her body.

     “Castiel, seriously, you really need to stay for longer,” she said.  “You always know how to make me smile.”

***Castiel POV***

August 11, Morning

     Castiel loved the taste of eggs and bacon.  He had made a spread for the rest of the family on Saturday morning.  He would never admit to Ember that he had continued to search out opportunities to learn how to cook, simply to impress her and the kids.  Cooking seemed to be the most useful thing to do in Ember’s new home, because it was the only chore that she point-blank refused to learn, and so he had approached the task with gusto.

     He thought he had done a fairly good job, too.  He was the first one to awaken, and the thought of the look on Ember’s face when she saw the spread brought a smile to his face.  It felt like his first smile this week.

     Castiel’s head turned sharply when he heard whispering.  Suddenly Josephine emerged from the living room, clearing her throat as she entered.  “Excuse me, Mr. Castiel,” she said, approaching him formally.  Then she saw the food.  “Wow, did you make these?”

     “Yes,” he said, “It’s the least I could do.  Eat up!”

     “Thanks!” she said, seeming to forget what she had been about to ask.  She grabbed a plate and a lavish amount of eggs, and sat down across from him at the table.  Aidan also emerged from the living room, and at the sight of him, Josephine seemed to remember what she had been about to ask.  “Oh!  Right!”  She was much less formal now, as though the eggs had been some sort of icebreaker.  “We wanted to know if you could practice fighting us.”

     “What?” said Castiel, surprised.

     “Last time you were here, you said you’d practice fighting with us someday if it was okay with Ember,” Aidan spoke up.  “We have all the foam weapons we use with her in the basement.  You know, for practice?”

     Castiel was caught off guard.  “Ember - what would she say?”  He hoped this was the correct answer.

     “She practice fights with us sometimes, so that all of us can keep up our strength if someone tries to attack us,” Josephine filled in.  “She said it was okay when Aidan asked her, but that we had to ask you.  You don’t have to if you don’t want to, though.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     When Ember had come down to breakfast around 10AM, she had been pleased with the spread.  Her face had lit up, and she had given Castiel a huge smile and thanked him profusely.  Then she had looked at his clothing, which was the same as what he had worn yesterday.  “Cas, I’m taking you shopping today.  You’ve been so kind to us lately, it’s the least I can do.”

     When they had left at noon, Krissy had yet to come down to breakfast, and Josephine had had to leave for her job at McDonald’s, where she worked from 11 to 4.  When Aidan had asked Ember, again, about Castiel practicing fighting with them, she had said that it was a great idea (if he would agree to it), and that they could do it after Josephine got off of work.

     During the shopping trip, Ember regaled Castiel with what he had missed in the lives of the children since his last trip over a week ago.  “Krissy’s math has been better since you helped her last week,” Ember said.  “I checked her grades this morning, even though she doesn’t know I know how.  She still doesn’t trust me.  Victor did a number on them, though, so I can’t be surprised...”  She sighed.  “It’s the same old story.  They’re always worried that I’m going to come home a vampire, or that I’m not going to come home…”  She trailed off.  “Of course, I’m not really sure how much of that is related to them being in foster care and the trauma they’ve been through, and how much of it is related to just hunting in general.”

     “You’re a great mother,” Castiel said.  “The situation you’ve been put in, with you being half-demon, and the choice you’ve made, to take care of other children who have been orphaned as a result of hunting, is admirable.”  He had said it before, and it always made her smile.

     Ember also told Castiel what to expect in regards to the children’s fighting styles as they picked out first a suitcase and then several new pairs of shirts and pants for Castiel.  “Watch Aidan, he needs the most work, but don’t tell him that,” she said.  “He never puts his feet right, and he makes these big sweeping strokes that don’t hit… Krissy is nearly always on target, though.  And what Josie doesn’t have in agility and speed, she makes up for in accuracy.  Once, Krissy and Josie together almost beat me, and I had to use my force powers to repel them.  They want to see if they can beat you.”

     Castiel couldn’t help remembering a sparring practice with Ember a very long time ago, when the group of them were working to take down Lucifer.  He wondered if this would be like that.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Castiel learned quickly that this was nothing like sparring with Ember.  Victor had turned the basement of the large house into a matted sparring room, which was full of foam and other practice weapons.  Ember and Castiel served as instructors, and Castiel was surprised at the ease with which he slipped into the role.  “You’re leaving yourself too open,” he told Josephine slowly, watching her fight with Krissy.  “You’re concentrating too much on accuracy and sacrificing quickness.”  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ember give him a smile and a quick nod.

     Castiel knew, without asking, that Dean had been down here at one point, sparring with the children and instructing them as well.  Krissy in particular had picked up a few moves that Castiel recognized as very Dean-like. 

     The children were good fighters – better fighters than most hunters, to be honest, though no match for Ember or Castiel.  As Ember had warned him, Krissy was lethal with a blade.  In their first match, he went easy on her, and almost let her get the better of him.  While they stopped for water, Castiel watched Ember dual-wielding a pair of foam knives against Aidan and Josephine.  Ember’s hair was tied in its usual ponytail, and she wore lounge paints again with a black crop top and tennis shoes.  She dodged Aidan’s blows easily as she discussed trigonometry homework with Josephine during their swordfight.

     “Dean said he taught her to fight like that,” Krissy said, following Castiel’s eyes.  “But I think she has completely her own style.”

     Castiel agreed.  “Her force powers play a role in her style,” he said.  They had discussed it once, late one night, with Dean and Sam.  “She picked up some moves from Dean, but her force powers help determine which moves are easiest to use and which ones are best left for practice sparring or playing around.  That’s why she likes to dual-wield – so she can keep her force energy even on both sides.”

     Krissy appeared to think on this for a second, then slowly raised her foam sword to his face, signaling that the water break was over.

     They had been fighting for about half a minute when the teenager spoke up.  “Castiel, how long are you staying this time?”

     “Should you really talk until you’re confident you can fight in silence?” Castiel asked, forcing her slowly backward toward the wall.

     “Ember encourages us to talk,” Krissy said.  “Because our opponents will be taunting us.”

     Suddenly, she grinned evilly, ducking under his arm in a quick move he didn’t anticipate.  “Hey Cas, what are you doing tonight?”  

     Castiel was suddenly on the offensive, but it only lasted a second before he had used his strength to force Krissy backward while parrying.  “I’m not sure, why?”

     “Just figured we might all want to get out of here,” she said, concentrating so hard that tiny lines appeared on her forehead.  “You know, so you and Ember can have some time alone together.”  And, once again, she ducked away from him.

     Castiel froze at her words, only for a second, but then he felt the foam sword pushing comically into his chest.

     Aidan noticed it first, and became so distracted that Ember was able to hold him easily at swordpoint, effectively ending the fight on the other side of the room.  Ember turned around slowly and grinned when she saw Krissy and Castiel.  “Finally got the better of you, did she?” she said proudly.

     Castiel prayed that Krissy wouldn’t explain the full situation to Ember, and fortunately she didn’t seem inclined to elaborate on her win.  He thought his face must be horribly red, however.  Ember raised her eyebrows at Castiel, but that was the only sign she gave that she knew something must be amiss.

***Castiel POV***

August 11, Evening

     Castiel methodically packed the shirts Ember had bought for him in the suitcase she’d provided.  He knew that the few things he owned would leave the suitcase pathetically empty, but he admitted there was still something far more satisfying about seeing his belongings in a suitcase than in the plastic bag they had recently inhabited.

     Once again, it was time to leave.  He’d stayed two nights last time, which was already too long.  This time, he felt he had to stay only one night.  He had gotten too close today, he thought.  Surely she must know how he felt about her.  He had to leave, for both of their sakes.  He was embarrassed – what use had she, for an angel who was now mortal, and on the run?  The rain was pounding right now, but he would leave when the storm passed.  He had to leave when the storm passed.

     Suddenly, from the doorway, Castiel heard a voice say, “What are you doing, Cas?”

     He froze.  Even her voice made him ache, in a terrifyingly sweet way.  “Packing,” he said carefully.

     She was frowning, he could already tell.  “I thought you weren’t gonna leave until tomorrow evening?” she asked.  “I have the day off tomorrow except for one client…”

     She had showered after their fighting practice, and was wearing baggy lounge pants and a tight tank top that left far too little to the imagination.  Castiel swallowed hard, forcing himself to look away.  Yes, this had been the problem.  This had been why he was packing.

     “Castiel, what’s wrong?” she asked.  “You’ve been acting weird ever since the sword fight today.”  She put her hand on his shoulder, and fire seemed to spread through his body at the point where she touched him.  “Cas, what did Krissy say to you that has you so freaked out?”

     Castiel looked at Ember, arrested.  She was so close.  She was too close.  “How did you know that she-..”

     “Who do you think taught her that trick?” she said, smiling.  “What did she say, Castiel?  Even if you don’t tell me, I’ll be able to get it out of her eventually.”

     “She said-…”  Castiel trailed off, then tried again, looking away.  He was struggling for words.  He did not want to tell her this, had never planned on telling her.  Surely she must know, but to hear it confirmed was something different.  Still, he supposed that he ought to tell her, rather than allowing her to hear it from Krissy.  “The thing is, I have… I mean, I’ve developed… feelings.”  When he finally looked back at her, he found that she had somehow moved imperceptibly so that she was right in front of him.

     “What kind of feelings?” she asked, and there was something different in her eyes now, something that reminded him somehow of the look in Dean’s eyes just before he made a kill.

     Castiel gulped again, and he could feel bits of his anatomy responding that definitely weren’t supposed to, but which seemed to respond to everything these days.  “Uh… romantic… feelings,” he stuttered.

     She studied him, her face unreadable.

     “I thought… I thought since you weren’t an angel… I thought you didn’t feel that way anymore?” she asked.

     “I don’t,” he said.  “I mean… that part of it is gone.  This is…” he gulped, looking away.  “This is something different.”

     To his utter surprise and amazement, she smiled.  “That’s what I was waiting for,” she said softly.  She was so close now that he could see the small bead of moisture on her lips, and smell her potent citrus smell. 

     And then he realized what was going to happen, and his heart jumped to his throat.  She was standing so close to him, and looking at him in a way that he’d never dared hope she would.  He was powerless to stop himself from moving the last couple of inches toward her lips.

     He had been kissed by April, and of course he had been kissed by Ember when he was being controlled by Naomi (a kiss which had haunted him for the next several weeks).  He had never imagined, however, that a kiss could be quite like this.  It was like soaring and falling at the same time.  How long had he fancied Ember, really?  How long had he imagined kissing her?  Since he met her?

     His kiss with April had been exploratory, and April had been very pretty, but it had been nothing like kissing Ember.  He felt her tongue push into his mouth, and he added his own tongue to the mix, his heart thudding frantically into his chest.  Was this happening?  After all of this time, was this really happening?

     He felt Ember’s hand on his face, and bravely he slunk a hand on her back, pulling her just a little bit closer.  He was desperate for more, but terrified to ruin what he already had.

     “Cas,” she said breathily, and something very animalistic stirred inside of him.  Then she moved a final inch forward until they were touching, and she could feel how much he wanted her.  He fought with his traitorous human body not to grind into her, but she took matters into her own hands and moved him back toward the bed.  He had one hand on her back and one on her neck, and he didn’t want to let go with either hand long enough to fall backward onto the bed, so she moved with him.

     She ground into him, and he moaned into her mouth.  Were they really – were they really going to do this?  Apparently they were, because she was tugging at his shirt as if to remove it, which he allowed.  “I’ve always wanted to see an angel naked,” she said, smirking at him in exactly the right way.

     “I’m not an angel,” he pointed out.

     “You’re still my angel,” she said, not missing a beat.  Ember took both of Castiel’s hands then and put them on her breasts, which Castiel took as his cue that this was allowed.  He leaned up once more to kiss her, and very slowly began to peel off first her top shirt and then her undershirt.  “You’re… you’re beautiful,” he said, and she kissed him, hard.

     His hands skittered up her stomach and ended on her breasts, because he couldn’t not touch them, and meanwhile her hands were on his chest as well.  She smelled amazing, different from how he remembered when he was an angel, but somehow even better.  And then her hands went lower, and lower, until-

     “Ember,” Castiel said, breaking their kiss.  “Are you sure?”

     “Aren’t you?” she asked.

     Yes!  But instead he kissed her again, until she broke their kiss to once more begin unzipping his pants.  He reached for hers, meanwhile, and for a few seconds there was an awkward bit of undressing and finagling out of trousers.  When both pairs of pants had been discarded on the floor, however, Ember and Castiel looked at each other, suddenly unsure. 

     Castiel had been so busy looking into Ember’s eyes for clues – how was she feeling?  Would she allow this to go on? – that he was completely surprised to feel her hands on him.  He gave a loud moan, and she gave a salacious grin.  Holding eye contact, she climbed slowly down him, and then disappeared from view. 

     Suddenly he felt her mouth close around him, and it was unexpected, and different from anything he had ever felt before, and wonderful.  Even with April he had never done this, and how had he never known how amazing this could be?  But he wanted more, he wanted… “Let me see you,” he said gruffly.

     Her mouth came off of him, and he felt suddenly cold at the loss, but she shifted back into view.  She smiled at him shyly before once more closing her mouth around him.  The sight of it almost tipped him over the edge, but by now he was able to recognize the warning signs.  He scooted up and away from her, gently guiding her until she was lying back on the bed and he was bent over her.  He had wanted this for so long, before he had even known it was what he wanted, and he’d be damned if it was over this quickly.

     He trailed kisses down her stomach, and she moaned his name breathily.  He wasn’t terribly experienced with this, but he had learned enough from watching Dean’s porn of the pizza man, and from April, and a few other things that he had seen and heard over the years.  He knew where to touch her, and where to put his tongue.  He moved around and listened to what made her gasp, and he was surprised when she came undone around him.  She was beautiful, shaking, and he kissed her on the tops of her breasts as he watched her come down from her orgasm.

     “That was… Cas, I… didn’t know you knew…”

     He smiled, glowing with pride.  “Cas,” she breathed.  And then she was kissing him again, fiercely, and he didn’t know where he ended and she began, and he was helpless to stop it.  She rolled them over, and he felt an unnatural sensation, and looked down in alarm.  She had wrapped him in a condom.       

     “Sorry,” she said shrugging.  “Protection.”

     Protection!  He understood, now, what Dean had been asking.  But he had no time to think about that, because it meant – it meant she was going to -…

     Ember was standing over him, the moonlight glowing off of her pale skin, and her face was searching for something – reassurance for him, or perhaps an answer?  He gave a small nod, and very, very slowly, she slid onto him.  It was exquisite, and Castiel fought with himself not to thrust.  “Ember,” he begged.  Very, very slowly, she began to move up and down, and he reached up to touch her, like he’d seen in the movies.

     Castiel knew it wouldn’t be long before this was over.  He had wanted to draw it out longer, but he was powerless to stop it now (even with the condom), and it felt so good.  And finally he could feel her walls clench around him, and she cried out.  He followed her a second later, rasping her name as he came inside her.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Castiel was a human (a lousy human at that, he often thought) who was wanted by every angel in the world, and had been kicked out of the house by his best friends… but damned if he wasn’t grinning from ear to ear.  He was happy just to watch her sleep, the sound of her deep breathing calming him.

     Still, he had only another half hour or so until the first light, and he needed to leave.  Slowly, he began to move away from her, quietly gathering his clothing from the floor.  He smiled to himself as he saw, in the dim light from her night light, the various bits of his clothing flung haphazardly around the room, mixed with hers.

     “Cas?” she said, and he froze, looking at her through the darkness.

     “Cas, you’re not leaving?” she said, looking hurt.

     “I…”  He fought against the urge to stay another day, knowing he was already pushing his luck.  “Ember, I shouldn’t have stayed even this long…”

     Her face fell.  “I don’t want you to be in danger,” he said desperately.  “I don’t want…”

     She nodded, though her face remained guarded.  “I’ll get up with you.  I’ll walk you out.”

     Slowly, she shuffled out of bed and turned the light on, wincing at the bright light.  When Castiel’s eyes got used to the light, he saw that she was wearing only her underwear from last night.  The sight sent a jolt of arousal through him, which caught him off guard.  How could he be feeling this again, after last night?  Still, he had learned long ago that Ember made him feel things he might never fully understand.  Unable to resist, he moved toward her and put his arms around her, kissing her shoulder and her neck.

     She had been in the process of putting on her jeans, but turned around in surprise, and her mouth had curled up into a smile.  “I thought…”

     He looked at her questioningly. 

     “Never mind,” she said.

     “What?” he asked.

     “I thought you wanted to leave.”

     “No,” he said, surprised.  He kissed her neck, careful to keep his erection away from her, because he didn’t have time to have intercourse again, as much as he would have liked to.  “But I have to.”

     She hung her head.  “I understand.”  And she leaned up again, kissing him on his neck.  Just as he felt he couldn’t resist her any longer, and went to pull her closer, she stepped away, not realizing what he had been about to do.

     “Where does that leave us?” Ember asked.

     Castiel was confused at the question.  “What do you mean?” he said.

     Ember thought for a minute.  “O… kay.  Um… do you want to sleep with other people?”

     Castiel thought this was an odd question.  He was pretty sure he had been fairly clear on that subject.  Now that he thought about it, though, he had never actually told her anything on the subject.  “No, why would I want to do that?” he asked.  Then he had a thought.  “Wait… do you want to sleep with other people?”

     “No,” she said, and he felt an immense amount of relief. 
     “Good,” he said.

     “So where does that leave us?” she asked again.  She had turned away from him and was picking up her clothes off the floor, as well as his.

     Now he was really confused.  “I… don’t understand the question?” he said honestly.

     She smiled, facing him again as she handed him his clothes.  “I was beginning to get the feeling you were lost,” she said honestly.  “Cas, when two humans – I mean, when two people – have feelings for each other, and especially when they have sex, it’s customary to decide at some point whether or not they want to have casual sex, or be in a relationship, or-…”

     “What’s ‘casual sex?’” asked Castiel, stopping halfway into a pantleg.

     Ember turned toward him.  “That’s when two people have sex sometimes just for the fun of it.  But there’s no feelings behind it, and they can have sex with other people if they like.”

     Castiel looked downward.  “I don’t want that,” he said.  He thought a second.  He thought he knew what “in a relationship” meant, but perhaps he ought to be sure.  “What does it mean to be in a relationship?”

     Ember smiled.  “It means basically what we’ve been doing over the past month or so,” Ember said.  “You make each other happy and keep each other company sometimes, and try to do good stuff for the other person.  And, you commit that you aren’t going to have sex with anyone else.”

     “Okay,” Castiel said.  “Can we be in a relationship, then?”  He was finishing tying his shoes, because he really, really did need to leave soon.

     This had apparently been the right thing to say, as her face split into a big smile.  “I’d like that,” she said.

     “Me too,” he said.  She seemed to be waiting for something, so he went over to her and put his arms around her. He hoped that this was the right thing to do.  He was pleasantly surprised when she put her arms around him as well, then moved toward him and kissed him, on the mouth this time.

     Stars exploded behind his eyes once again, and it occurred to him that perhaps being “in a relationship” meant that he could kiss her whenever he wanted.  That was certainly what it had meant with her and Dean.  And there was something about the thought of Dean that bothered him, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.  Just as he was about to move his hand downward, Ember let go of him, and he remembered with a start how much he very much did need to leave before it got light outside.  He extricated himself from her, apologizing, as he had never before wanted to stay quite so much.  A minute later, he was gone.

***Castiel POV***

August 17, Evening

     Castiel had been worried that when he finally returned to see Ember again, something between them would have changed.  He was excited to realize that he was allowed not only in her arms but in her bed again.  It was the best two days of Castiel’s life.  He had not known it was possible to have so much sex, to laugh so much, or to be so happy.

     Halfway through the weekend, Sam called.  Ember had a very short conversation with him, during which she shushed Castiel and explained that she “was spending the weekend alone… the kids are all at their friends’ houses, and I’m taking a night to myself.”

     “You’re not telling Sam that we’re in a relationship?” Castiel asked, surprised and a little hurt.

     Ember sighed.  “No, not yet.  The way our lives work, we’ll need to tell them eventually.  It’s just… even if Sam doesn’t tell Dean, Ezekiel will.”

     “So?” he had asked, confused.  He pulled her close to him on the bed.

     Ember sounded as though she were holding back an annoyed sigh, but was patient with his questions.  “Okay, so say that in a year or so we broke up, and-…”

     “Why would we break up?” he asked.

     “I don’t know,” Ember said.  “Say… say I didn’t make you happy anymore.  Or… say you found another woman you wanted to have sex with.  Or something like that.”

     “That won’t happen,” he said.

     “Thanks, Cas,” she said, clearly touched.  Then she began to sound serious again.  “Okay, just… say that it does.  Like, with Dean, the first time, we broke up because he convinced you to remove my memories, which really weren’t his - or yours – to take away.”

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said.  Was she still mad at him about this?  Hadn’t he been at fault in that instance?

     “I don’t blame you for that,” Ember said, as if reading his mind.  “I blame Dean.  It was his dumb idea.  You were just doing what he thought was right.  But it wasn’t right, because they’re my memories, and so they’re my right.”

     Castiel supposed he could understand this.  Just as he decided that, however, she moved on to something else.  “Okay, so say we break up.  And then say I start dating someone else.  Would you be a little upset at that person?”

     Castiel shook his head.  He understood now, but she needn’t worry.  “No, he said he was over you,” Castiel said.  “He said it was over, and he was over you.”

     “Yeah, he has to say that,” Ember said, “That’s what Dean says when he’s mad about something.”

     Castiel shook his head.  “But he even slept with someone else.”

     A flash of hurt shone in Ember’s eyes, but she laughed.  “Yeah,” she said, “Because that’s what Dean does when he’s not in a relationship.”

     “Well that’s… that’s just…” Castiel struggled for words. 

     “That’s Dean,” said Ember.

     “Are you… are you just sleeping with me to get over him?” he asked carefully.

     Ember’s eyes flashed a warning, and she untangled herself from him, staring at him intensely.  “No, Cas,” she said.  “I haven’t slept with anybody since Dean.  I slept with you because… because I have feelings for you.  That’s typically why people get into a relationship.”

     “I’m sorry for asking,” Castiel said, holding out his arms.

     Ember wriggled into them again, and Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.  “It’s okay,” she said.  “I know these things are new to you.  You can read people pretty well, but you don’t always understand human customs.  But… just because a relationship is over, doesn’t mean you suddenly stop having feelings for the person.  Eventually you get over each other, but it’s not something you can just turn on and off, you know?”

     Castiel wanted to ask if Ember still had feelings for Dean, but he didn’t want to make her angry again.  He also had a feeling he already knew the answer.

     “So… Dean still has… feelings… for you?” Castiel asked carefully.

     “Probably,” said Ember.  “It was never going to work, though.  We just need some time apart, and then we’ll be fine.”

     But this changed things.  Why had he not thought about this?  He remembered the feeling that he had forgotten something important, something that had to do with Dean… Had Ember thought about this, when she was with him last night?

     “But… Dean’s my friend,” Castiel said.  He felt guilty again, but also indignant.  Would he give up this thing he had with Ember for his old friend?  He didn’t think so.

     “Dean chucked you out,” Ember said, looking disgusted with her old boyfriend.  “When you needed him most.  To keep secret a decision he never should’ve made in the first place.  We both know that bunker’s the safest place you could be right now.”

     “Even aside from Ezekiel, I still wouldn’t want to put them in danger by staying-…”

     “Bullshit,” Ember said.  “Look, it doesn’t matter.”

     “But… it doesn’t feel right not to tell him,” Castiel said.  “I don’t like keeping secrets.”

     Ember paused, looking frustrated.  “Castiel, I agree.  I want to shout about our relationship to the rooftops.  But… you’re on the run right now, from just about everyone.  And Dean is volatile at the best of times, and Sam’s got an angel inside him that seems to have a few new ideas about living on Earth than he did when you last saw him.  Adding Dean’s anger about this new relationship that we have is just going to be too much for everyone, okay?  And I’m not talking to Dean, and you’re not talking to either one of them.  And traditionally, you need to be the one to tell Dean that we’re together anyway, if you really want to save the friendship.”

     “Why?” Castiel asked.

     “If you tell him, you can say, ‘I’m sorry, but she’s beautiful and I couldn’t resist her, please still be my friend,’ Ember said, smiling up at him and kissing him on the cheek.  “But if I tell him, it’ll just be his ex-girlfriend gloating about a new relationship with his best friend,” Ember explained.  “And he’ll be even more mad at you, for not being the one to tell him.”

     “I should tell him then,” Castiel said, confused.

     “No,” Ember said, “Not yet.  Give him some time to get past things.  You know… let him sleep with a few more women.  Whatever.  Then, when Ezekiel has finished healing Sam, you should tell him.  Right now, it’s just too complicated.”

     Castiel couldn’t deny that he wasn’t looking forward to telling Dean about this new relationship, if Dean was going to be angry with him.  “I suppose so,” he agreed reluctantly.

     They grew quiet, and Castiel sighed.  “Do you think… do you think it’ll be that easy?  Do you think he’ll be okay with things if he has a few months to… sleep around?”

     Ember sighed, turning around to face him.  “No,” she said.  “I think it’s going to suck.  I think he’s going to be pretty mad.  But… you also saved his ass about a million times.  You saved the world, Castiel, more than once.  If your friendship can survive you being God, and breaking Sam, it can survive this.”

     Castiel felt the sharp stab of guilt again, but Ember added, “Besides… do you really want to give this up?”

     Just the thought of giving up this small piece of happiness made Castiel want to cry.  Crying was a new sensation that had only happened to him a couple of times, and he didn’t much fancy it.  “No,” he admitted, kissing her again.

***Castiel POV***

Fall

     Castiel had lived for thousands and thousands of years, but he couldn’t remember ever being this happy. 

     Early September marked three months since April, the rogue reaper, had found him.  In that time, he had not seen another angel, nor had the deaths of angels, or humans, continued to follow him.  He wondered if perhaps they were no longer looking as hard.  Perhaps they believed what he had told April before she had killed him, about not knowing what Metatron had intended.  He was sure that they wouldn’t hesitate to torture or capture him if they found him, but he supposed they had at least “called off their most vicious attack dogs,” as Ember said one evening.

     To test this theory, Castiel began to stay in one place for longer, and didn’t move around as much.  He favored a soup kitchen in Rexburg, ID, and he spent most of his time away from Ember there.  After another month with no incidents, he surprised Ember by getting a job in Rexburg at a local gas station.  She surprised him by setting him up in an apartment there under a fake name.  They took turns visiting each other almost every week, as well.  Usually she took a plane while invisible, but his schedule also accommodated the ability for him to work double shifts for several days in a row, then hitchhike his way to and from Conway Springs, KS during a 5-day break.

     Castiel loved everything about Ember.  He loved the way her body moved during sex, and the way she laughed when she thought nobody was listening.  He loved the way she steadfastly refused to cook, and the way she smiled when he cooked for her.  He loved the children, too, who seemed to grow, both physically and emotionally, each time he saw them. 

     All in all, Castiel was so happy that for several months at a time, he was able to forget – about Dean and Sam, about Ezekiel, about Metatron, and even about the other angels.

Chapter Text

***Castiel POV***

November 4

THREE MONTHS LATER

     It had been three months since the beginning of their relationship.  Castiel had asked around, and done some studying online, but he wasn’t sure when was the right time to say “I love you.”  He knew it wasn’t right to do it “too early,” but he was never sure how early was too early, and how early was too late.  He wished he could ask Dean, but he wasn’t sure he wanted Dean’s advice, even if Dean wasn’t furious with him about the question.

     For their three-month anniversary, Castiel decided that it was time.  He had saved up enough money to buy Ember diamond earrings.  They were tiny angel earrings.  They had only one tiny diamond, but they held a field of protection as well, which would ward away demons when she was wearing them. 

     “Cas!” Ember exclaimed when she saw them and learned what they did.  “Cas, this is… this is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me!”  And she leaned in to hug him.

     “Ember… I love you,” he told her, steeling his nerves.

     She froze.  “Cas, you’re… you’re not supposed to say that yet,” she said.  “It’s only been three months.”

     He felt his face heat up.  He should’ve waited.

     “But… but I love you too, Cas,” she added, glancing downward.

     “You… you do?” he asked.

     “Yeah,” she said.  “I mean… you’re perfect, you know?  You know what I’ve been through, and how to protect yourself, and how to deal with my demon issues.  And you’re kind, and you’re hard-working, and you bought this with honest money…  it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

     “You’re everything I ever wanted too,” he said in wonder, holding her close.  “And I didn’t even know it.  For thousands of years, I had no idea…”

     And he could forget his guilt for a little longer.

***Castiel POV***

November 12

     “Don’t do it on your own,” Ember said.  “Please, Cas, I’m begging you.”

     “Ember, you don’t even have to ask,” Castiel said.  “I’m not an angel anymore.  I’m not going to risk getting myself killed, not with everything I have to look forward to.  You’re still coming tomorrow for your birthday, right?”

     “I sure am,” she purred, and Castiel couldn’t help but grin on his end of the phone line.

     “Look, just make the call to Dean, and tell him you’re busy, or… something,” Ember said, sounding business-like again.  Dean.  Right.  Castiel had read the newspaper this morning, and recognized instantly a case for Dean and Sam:  “Local man presumed dead.  Fourth unexplained disappearance in weeks.”

     “Just don’t tell Dean about us yet, okay?” Ember asked.

     “I thought you said that the next time we talked, I needed to tell him we were in a relationship,” Castiel said.

     “Yeah, but not when he’s going to be in your neighborhood,” Ember said.  “Jesus, Cas, he might come over and shoot you!”  Castiel was still trying to figure out if Ember was joking or not when she continued.  “Look, just tell him you’re referring this case to him, but you’re busy.  Okay?”

     “Yeah, I guess so.”

     So, Castiel called Dean.  “I may have a case for you,” he explained.  “Four missing in Rexford, Idaho.  Presumed dead, but no bodies have been released to loved ones.  And, there were reports of a strange substance at the scenes.”

     “Oh, well, hello to you too, Cas,” Dean said.  “How are you?”

     I’m dating Ember.  Please don’t be angry with me.  I love her.  “I… am busy.”

     “Alright, so how do you want to do this?  You want to meet up at the latest scene?  You want me to pick you up?  What?”

     “Um… I’ve got my hands full over here,” Castiel said.  “I just thought you would want to know about the case.”  And then he hung up.

***Castiel POV***

November 13

     Castiel was completing his work at the gas station when he was absolutely shocked – and horrified – to see Dean Winchester standing in front of his cash register.  “I’ll have some beef jerky and a pack of Menthols,” he said.  

     “What are you doing here?” Castiel said, alarmed.

     “Gee, it’s nice to see you too, Cas,” said Dean.

     “It’s ‘Steve’ now,” Castiel said, pointing at his name badge.  “And… you surprised me.”

     “Well, the feeling is mutual,” Dean said.  “I mean, I knew you had to lay low from the angel threat, but wow!  This is some cover!”

     I’m dating Ember.  “My grace is gone.  What did you expect?  Do you have any idea how hard it was when I fell to Earth?  I didn’t just lose my powers.  I-…”  Was shunned by all the other angels, and then got kicked out by my best friends.  “I had nothing.  Now?  I’m a sales associate.”  And I’m dating Ember.

      “A sales associate?” Dean said in surprise.

     “I’m responsible for inventory, sales, customer service.  I keep this place clean and presentable.  And when my manager’s busy, I even prepare the food.”  Castiel was proud of his job.  It was simple, and he was good at it.  At least he was good at something.

     “Wow,” said Dean.  “So you went from fighting heavenly battles… to nuking Taquitos?”

     “Nachos too,” said Castiel.

     “This is not you, man.  You are above this, come on,” Dean said as Castiel took a box out of the back room.

     “No, Dean, I’m not,” Castiel said.  Ember says it’s good work to start out and build a resume.  Good honest work.  “I failed at being an angel.  Everything I ever attempted came out wrong.  But here, at least I have a shot at getting things right.  I guess you can’t see it, but there’s a real dignity in what I do.  A human dignity.” 

     Suddenly, the gas station phone rang.  It was Ember, Castiel realized before he picked up the phone.  “I just wanted to let you know, I’m getting on the plane,” she said.  “You’ll still be there to pick me up?”

     “Yes, I’ll be there when you get here,” he said, forgetting about Dean momentarily.  “I can’t wait until you’re in my arms again.”

     When he got off the phone, Dean was grinning.  “That’s what this is about!” he exclaimed.

     “What?” asked Castiel, still happy from the phone call.

     “A girl.”

     “No, Dean, it’s not,” said Castiel, which was halfway true. 

     “Okay,” said Dean, looking skeptical. 

     “Dean, there’s something you should know,” Castiel said, unable to wait any longer.

     At that moment, however, Dean got a phone call about the case.  “There was another kill over at the high school,” Dean told Castiel when he hung up.  “You comin’?”

     “I wouldn’t be much use,” Castiel said.  “I don’t have my powers.”

     “So?  I’ve never had powers,” Dean answered.

     “You’re a hunter,” Castiel said.

     “And you’re a hunter in training, remember?” Dean asked.

     “Yeah, I remember,” Castiel said.  “You said I sucked.”

     “I didn’t say that,” Dean said.  “I said that there was, uh, you know, room for improvement.  Come on!”

     Castiel was almost certain that he was going to regret this, but he missed Dean.  “Alright, my shift’s over in five minutes, and my date’s not until later, so…”

     “Attaboy,” Dean said.  “I’ll go get the car.”

     “Not just yet,” Castiel said.  “I have to clean the bathroom.”

     Twenty minutes later, Castiel walked up to a sight that made him forget all about Ember for the first time in weeks.  A girl had been vaporized at the high school – exploded into tiny bits of pink.  “I’ve seen this before,” Castiel said, near to tears.  “In Heaven.  Dean, this is bad,” he said. “This is very bad.  On the battlefields of Heaven, there was a special class of angel, the Rit Zien.  It’s Enochian for ‘Hands of Mercy.’  They functioned like medics.  They tended to the wounded.  They healed those that could be healed.  But for the mortally wounded, those who were past saving, the Rit Zien’s job was to put them down.”

     “But the granulated bodies?” asked Dean.

     “This was their special ability,” said Castiel.  “They had this way of smiting that was so quick and so total that it rendered death virtually painless.”

     “Yeah, but these aren’t wounded angels that they’re vaporizing.  They’re people,” Dean said.

     “Right,” Castiel said.  “I don’t know.  The Rit Zien home in on pain, it’s like a beacon to them.  So when this angel fell to Earth, he heard the victim’s cries, their anguish… same as he’d hear an angel’s in Heaven.  He’s continuing his heavenly work down here, one suffering human at a time.”

     “Yeah, but this victim was not suffering,” Dean said.  “She was just a normal moody kid.”

     “But he just got here,” said Castiel.  “The ebb and flow of human emotion… Dean, I’ve been on Earth for a few years, and I’ve only begun to grasp it.  Ember’s been-…”  He stopped, and he and Dean both froze.

     As if in slow motion, Dean turned toward Castiel, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the parked Impala.  “You’ve talked to Ember?”

     It was now or never.  “Dean, look, I wanted to tell you, but…”  Dean was looking anxious, but he was waiting on Castiel to continue.  “After you told me not to come back, I started staying at her place from time to time, and… we sort of… started… dating.”

     He waited for Dean to get angry, but instead Dean’s lip curled up into a laugh.  “No,” he said, continuing to laugh.  “No, you’re not.  I mean, I know you, like, had a bit of a crush on her, because of the demon attraction thing…”

     Now Castiel was irritated.  “Dean, I’m not making a joke.”

     Dean’s face went from mildly amused to angry to skeptical.  Finally he said, “How do you know you’re dating?”

     “We’ve agreed to only sleep with each other,” Castiel said.

     Now Dean’s face had definitely moved toward angry.  “Get the fuck out of my car,” Dean said.

     “Dean, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, I-…”

     “Was that Ember on the phone earlier?” Dean asked accusatorily.

     “Yes, she-…”

     “Get the fuck out of my car,” Dean said again.

     So Castiel did.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “I don’t think he’s ever been that angry with me before,” Castiel said miserably to Ember half an hour later.  “He kicked me out of the Impala.”

     “He’ll get over it,” Ember said.  “I mean, you would think he would get over it.  He got over it when you decided you were God.”  She was stroking Castiel’s hair, holding his head in her lap.  Both of them were laying on the full-size bed that was one of only two pieces of furniture in the sparse bedroom of his apartment. 

     Castiel winced at the memory.  Maybe Dean had moved on from what he had done back then, but he hadn’t.  “After everything Dean and I have been through together, even after Purgatory, I can’t stand the thought of failing him yet again.”

     Suddenly, Ember and Castiel heard a thump at the door.  Ember immediately went invisible, and both of them ran into the front room of the apartment.  Castiel attempted to throw himself in front of Ember, but realized that he couldn’t do so now that he could no longer see her when she was invisible.  It was times like these – when others were in trouble – that he most missed being an angel.

     Despite not being able to see the beings’ true form, he somehow knew that it was Ephraim, the Rit Zien.

     “Hello, Castiel,” Ephraim said.  “Ember.”  He looked around.  “This is quite a squallid little dump.”

     “What do you want, Ephraim?” Castiel asked.

     “You remember my name,” the angel commented.  “I was just a nobody when we met.  But you – you were a legend.  You’ve been here before.  This is my first time, and it’s… intense.”

     “You know, there’s a lot you don’t understand about humanity at first,” Castiel said.  Ember was staying silent, for which Castiel was grateful.  If he could talk Ephraim down, maybe nobody else would have to die.  “If you would just stop-…”

     “Stop?” Ephraim asked.  “I won’t stop until I wash the planet clean of all suffering.”

     Ember threw a gust of force powers toward Ephraim, but they didn’t seem to have any effect.  Ember made toward Ephraim, but Castiel stood in front of his girlfriend, or at least in front of where he thought she must be.  “Don’t.  Touch.  Her,” he told Ephraim, his voice low and dangerous.

     “You think I came for her?” the angel asked.  “No, Castiel.  I came for you.”

     Castiel felt Ember shoot a gust of force power by him toward Ephraim again, but Ephraim easily held her back.  Meanwhile, he continued his monologue.  “So much pain, and despair.  So many voices, begging out for relief.”

     “How’d you find me?” Castiel asked.

     “Because you’re warded?” asked the angel.  “The same way I find all of my patients.  I just followed the sound of your pain.  You have no idea how loud it is.  I could hear you for miles.” 

     Castiel resented this, a bit.  He was guilty, sure, and he had had an especially bad day today because of Dean, but he was also extremely happy these days with Ember.  “Do you really think you’re doing Heaven’s work down here?” asked Castiel.

     “I know I am,” Ephraim said.

     “You’re wrong,” Castiel said.  “Earth can be a hard place.  Emotions are difficult, they don’t stay the same.  These humans, they can get better.  They’re just doing the best they can.”  He was backing slowly toward the wall, where he and Ember had put up angel wardings behind picture frames.

     “Is that what you think you’re doing, Castiel?  The best you can?  Well I’m sorry, but if this is the best that the famed Castiel can do, you’re a more urgent case than I thought.”  He scoffed.  “I used to admire you.  You failed more often than you succeeded, but at least you played big.”

     Just as Castiel had reached behind the painting, however, Ephraim grabbed his hand, yanking him easily away from the wall.  “Now what are you doing?” he asked.  “Burying your head in the sand.  Right when your kind needs you the most!  But don’t worry.  It’ll be over soon.  I’ll take the pain away.”

     “I want to live, “ Castiel said.  Jesus, Ephraim was crazy.

     “But as what, Castiel?  As an angel?  Or a man?”

     And just when Ephraim’s hand had almost touched Castiel, he heard a crash.  Dean had come running through the door, angel blade held high.  Ephraim threw him aside, just as he had Ember.  “You say you want to live, but you can’t see what I see.  By choosing a human life, you’ve already given up.  You chose… death.”

     But just as Ephraim once again raised his hand, Dean slid his angel blade across the floor.  Castiel caught it, stabbing the angel with all his might through the heart.

     There was a flash of light, and then Ephraim was no more. 

     Ember became visible as she fell forward, and the three of them stared at each other, frozen for a quick second.  It was Castiel that spoke first.”  “You saved us,” he said.  “Dean, thank you.”

     But Dean was looking at the two of them.  They weren’t touching – Castiel had reached out for Ember’s hand, but she had deftly maneuvered away from him out of respect for Dean.  Still, Dean seemed disgusted, and he looked away from both of them.  “Well, that’s the case solved, then.  You guys can handle the rest.  I’ve got to get back to Sam.”

     “Dean!” they both called after him, but he strode to his Impala and did not look back.

***Sam POV***

November 18, Very early morning

(Five days later)

     At 5:00 AM, Dean came charging into the bunker.  When he saw Sam, he gave his brother a look that said quite plainly that he had very much hoped Sam would still be asleep when he got home.

     “Five days,” Sam said to Dean accusatorily.  “Would it have killed you to pick up the phone?”

     “I was busy,” Dean said.  “I found a couple of twins in Las Vegas that were surprisingly bendy.”  He shot Sam a grin.

     “For five days?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

     “No,” Dean said, grinning again.  “That was just yesterday morning.  And the night before.  Before that…”  He shook his head again and shot Sam another grin.  “Do you know how many Asians live in the San Francisco Bay area?”

     Sam rolled his eyes.  He sat up straighter and crossed his arms.  “Dean.  Do you want to talk about it?”  Ember had called ahead – he knew what this was really about.

     Dean seemed to understand his meaning, and his face turned cross.  “Fuck off, Sam.  I’m tired.  I’m gonna hit the hay.”  And Dean left the room.

     Sam shook his head, and went back to his research.

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

December 3, Daytime

     The next time Dean saw Castiel and Ember, he and Sam were investigating what appeared to be a war between angels at a biker joint out west.  When they had noticed that Castiel and Ember had shown up in their “FBI impersonation” clothes as well, Sam nudged Dean.  “You’ve had sex with a porn star now, remember?” Sam whispered in his ear.

     Dean didn’t need his brothers’ pity or his pep talk.  “Fuck off,” he told him.

     The four of them greeted each other stiffly.  Castiel looked happy to see them – Ember looked shocked, then horrified, then simply annoyed. 

     “Cas, what the hell are you doing?” asked Dean.

     “Um, I still have that badge you gave me,” Castiel admitted.

     “Yeah,” Dean said.  “Uh… what the hell are you doing?”

     “The murders were all over the news,” Castiel said.  “I thought I might be of help.”  Dean noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a frown flash across Ember’s face.  So, there was trouble in paradise, Dean thought.  The frown was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

     “Yeah, but Cas, you know this is an angel situation, right?” asked Sam.  “You left that night because angels were on your ass.”

     This time Ember’s frown was far more pronounced, and she made no effort to hide it.  “Yeah, and you were living the life, you know?” Dean asked, before Ember had a chance to speak again.  “Early retirement, working your way up the Gas N’ Sip ladder?”

     “If angels are slaughtering one another, I have to do what I can to help,” Castiel said.  “This is a risk we should be willing to take, don’t you think?”

     Ember was staring at Dean, as if daring him to contradict.

     Castiel grinned when he received no answer.  “Cas is back in town!” he said.

     Dean caught Ember’s eye, but she looked away, frowning again.  “Seriously, did you - Did he just say that?” he asked.

     Castiel ignored them.  “These angels, they were butchered,” he said, holding up the folder for the brothers to see.  “Much more violence than was required.”

     “Definitely took more than one or two killers to pull this off,” Sam commented, also looking at the pictures Castiel had provided.

     “Hit squad?  Bartholomew’s people?” asked Dean.

     “Well, Bartholomew has a faction we know about, but this could be somebody else entirely,” Sam said.  “We don’t know.”

     “Well, whoever it is, we’ll find them,” said Castiel, flashing everyone grins.

     Ember spoke, for the first time that day.  “Please, Dean.  We need your help.”

     Dean stared at Castiel and Ember.  You’ve had sex with a porn star now, remember?  Finally, he nodded once.

     “We’ll find them,” he mocked to Sam in a low voice.  “That’s just great.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “It is so good being together again,” Castiel said over beers half an hour later.

     “It’s fuckin’ weird,” Dean admitted.  “But I guess we’ve always made a good team.”  Truthfully, Dean had come to the opinion over the past month that Ember and Castiel would not last.  Castiel was too socially awkward to keep Ember’s attention for long – if he even lived past the next few days, that is.  It was also a bit reassuring to see the glances Ember had shot in Castiel’s direction during their earlier discussion, as though she was not as enamored with him as she once was.  Besides that, Sam had pointed out that Castiel had saved their lives more times than they could count.  Then, of course, there was the fact that Dean could count on one hand the amount of people he would trust with his life.  Castiel and Ember were two of these people, ex-girlfriends and shitty friends aside.  When hunting a troop of homicidal angels, Dean couldn’t help but admit the tactical advantage that Castiel and Ember provided.

     “We have to figure out who we’re up against, what do they want, and how do we stop them,” Sam was saying.

     “Well, Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron’s spell,” Castiel said.  “Presumably to – to retake Heaven once his following is large enough.  That’s according to April.”

     Dean noticed Ember frown again when Castiel mentioned April.  “The reaper you banged,” he clarified, just to be a dick.

     “And you stabbed,” Castiel added.

     “Yeah,” Dean said.  “She was hot.”

     “I thought so as well,” Castiel said.  “Up to the point she started torturing me.”  Ember rolled her eyes and shot Dean a dirty look.

     “I’m gonna get us another round,” Sam commented.

     “I’ll get it,” Castiel said.  He took a drink from his beer again.  “You know, I’ve never done this before.”

     Dean sighed.  “One beer and he’s hammered,” he said turning to Ember.

     Suddenly, however, he saw the blue light flash in Sam’s eyes that meant Ezekiel had taken over.  “Oh, boy,” he grumbled.

     “Well?” Ezekiel asked, looking at Dean and Ember.  “What are you going to do about this?”

     “About Cas?” asked Dean.

     “He is a beacon, Dean, pulling every angel for miles down on our heads.”

     “He’s been living in the same place for months, and hasn’t been caught,” Ember said.  She narrowed her eyes, staring at Ezekiel.  “Should he be moving soon?”

     “What is it that you’re so afraid of?” asked Dean.  It annoyed him that he had finally come to some sort of temporary peace in his mind with having Ember and Castiel around, only for Ezekiel to command that they leave.  He felt cheated, somehow, of his ability to prove that he was over his best friend being an asshole.

     “I told you,” Ezekiel said.  “When I chose to answer your prayers and heal Sam, I chose sides.  That means I’m not in good standing with certain angels.”

     “Okay, well, you know what?  Cas isn’t in good standing with any angel, all right?  But we need him, and he needs us.”  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ember smile.

     Castiel returned at that moment.  “Here we go.  Three brewskies.”

     “I’m going to get something out of the car,” Ezekiel said pissily.

     As soon as he was gone, Castiel spoke up.  “What’s Sam’s deal?”

     “That was Ezekiel,” Ember groaned, rolling her eyes.  “He wants you to leave.”

     Castiel looked down at the table.  “Perhaps I should leave,” he said. 

     Part of Dean hated seeing Castiel upset, but another, more hateful part of him was completely fine with it.  And, of course, Ezekiel was healing his brother… “I’m really sorry, Cas,” he said.  “But it might be best.”

     Ember gave him a look that could burn through concrete, and locked her arms with Castiel.  “Come on, Cas.  Let’s get the hell out of here.”

***Ember POV***

December 3^rd, Afternoon

     “I can’t do it anymore, Ember,” Castiel said.  “I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”

     Ember sighed.  It had been like this for nearly a month, ever since the incident with Ephraim.  Castiel was determined to help the angels, at whatever cost.  Every day, he came up with a new scheme to help them, usually plans that would end up with him dead, or worse.  Two days ago, he had wanted to kill himself to go to Heaven to see Metatron.  Most days, he wanted to pray to the angels to see which of them would show up.  Ember had almost been glad when Castiel had read about the angel slaughter in the paper yesterday, because it at least it gave him a plan of action that wouldn’t likely result in his immediate death.  After Dean had sent him away, however, Ember knew he would be a wreck.

     “Don’t listen to them, they’re assholes,” Ember said to him.  “We’ll investigate ourselves.”

     “We have no leads,” Castiel said. 

     “Cas, I’ve told you a million times, it’s a suicide mission.”  She was so tired.  She hated Dean.

     Castiel spoke again, and it immediately struck Ember that his voice was lower and more serious even than their usual conversations about this.  “Ember, you’ve told me that your relationship with Dean ended because he made horrible decisions without telling you, decisions that could jeopardize your future and the future of your children.  So that’s why I’m telling you, Ember.  I’m sorry, but this has gone on too long.”

     Ember was startled by his words, and she felt as though something cold had suddenly gripped her heart.  “Cas,” she choked out.  “Cas, you can’t be serious.  What you want to do is suicide.”

     “Maybe not,” Castiel said.  “They couldn’t all come at once.  They’re in disarray.  They don’t have anyone to listen to.”

     “They have Bartholomew,” said Ember crossly.  “And the other faction leaders, whoever they are.  And everyone is after you.”

     “Ember, this is my responsibility,” he said.  “This is my fault.  I can’t sit idly by and watch it happen, not anymore.”

     He was more determined than usual.  “Castiel, I understand how you feel, but you’re not an angel, you’re-…”

     “Exactly!” he shouted, and Ember was startled now more than ever.  Castiel had never raised his voice to her before.  “I’m not an angel!  I’m a damn human, and I feel helpless!  I wanted so badly for this, for us, to make me happy enough to keep living like this!  And I love you, I love you so much!  But I can’t anymore, Ember.  I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, because I’ve done nothing, nothing to help, even though I was the one that destroyed everything!”

     Then, to Ember’s horror, Castiel collapsed on the bed, tears falling freely.  She knew, as certainly as she had known that Dean would never be able to stop hunting, or that she was in love with Castiel – she knew that Castiel was right.  He would never be happy unless he tried to help.

     “I’m going with you,” she said.

     His head snapped around then, and he stared at her, his eyes blown wide.  “You can’t,” he said.  “You have children who need you.”

     “They need you too,” Ember said, though she knew he was right.

     “Not the way they need you,” Castiel said.  Ember could feel that she also had tears on her cheeks.

     “Ember, if I survive this, I promise – I promise I’ll come home, and raise the kids with you, like we both want.  But I have to try.  I have to try, and you have to let me, and not try to come with me.”

      Ember held him close, because she knew he was right.  She had seen how miserable he had been the last few months.  He was right – this wasn’t depression, or even “normal human guilt.”  He may not be an angel, but in his heart he had never stopped being one.  “I love you, Castiel,” she whispered.

***Castiel POV***

December 4, Night

     If it weren’t for Ember, Castiel would reflect later, he might have taken his punishment.  He might have simply allowed himself to be killed by the henchman of the leader of the second faction, Malachi, the Anarchist.

     But to tell the truth, he wanted to keep helping.  He wanted to help other angels, like Muriel – Muriel, who had been refusing to pick sides in the war, and who Malachi had killed for it.  And, he wanted to go back to Ember.  He wanted to be someone Ember could be proud of.

     So he told the lies he needed to tell to escape.  “It’s true… Metatron and I do have a working relationship.  You’re clever, Theo.  We could use a skilled soldier like yourself.”  And then, when he was free, he did something he had promised himself that he would never, ever do again – he killed them all.

     Then he made a single phone call, before he headed back to Ember’s.  He counted himself lucky when he heard Dean’s voice at the other end.  “Dean, I don’t have a lot of time, so listen.  The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi.”

     “How do you know that?”

     “He had me.  I was tortured.  But I got away.”

     “How?”

     Castiel paused.  Guilt still pricked at him, even harsher than before.  “Just following your example, Castiel,” Malachi had said.  “How many did you kill in Heaven?  And in the Fall?... A host of angels died in the fall.  Died doesn’t even begin to describe it.  Wings shredded, unspeakable agony at your hands…”

     But now, with a grace, he could make things right again.  Now he could finally be helpful.  “I did what I had to.  I became what they’ve become.  A barbarian,” he said finally.

     “Cas, what are you – where are you?”  Castiel was glad to hear Dean’s concern, even after he had rebelled him the other day. 

     “It’s better I don’t say over the phone,” Castiel replied.  “They’re gonna want me even more now.  But I’ll be alright, I… I got my grace back.  Well… not mine, per se, but it’ll do.”

     “Wait, you’re – you’re back?” Dean asked.  “You got your mojo?”

     “I’m not sure,” Castiel said honestly, “but I am an angel.”

     “And you’re okay with that?” Dean asked.

     “If we’re going to war, I need to be ready,” Castiel said.

     “Cas-…”

     “Dean, there’s more,” Castiel said hurriedly.  “Ezekiel… he died, in the fall.  I just found out.  Whatever angel is inside of Sam… it’s not him.”

     Dean was silent on the other end.  Then, finally, he said, “Thanks, Cas.  I gotta go.”

     “Good luck,” Castiel said.  “I’ll come as soon as I can, if you’d like.”

     “Yes, please,” Dean said.

***Ember POV***

December 5^th, Night

     It was still dark outside when Castiel finally arrived back at Ember’s house in Conway Springs, KS.  He had called the previous evening from a payphone, but he had only said that he had “survived” and that he was “on his way”.  He had also told her, “our friend is in trouble.  I’ll pick you up, and then we must go there.”  Ember had asked if he was sure he didn’t want to stay the night in Wyoming before heading to Kansas, but he had simply answered, “That won’t be necessary.” 

     Ember understood the necessity for a coded message, however it didn’t make her worry less.  She was overjoyed to learn that Castiel was still alive, but she felt that she had gotten out of the frying pan only to be thrown into the fire.  She had gone to bed and gotten a few hours of sleep, but was up early – she had already been up for an hour when she heard a knock at the door.

     Ember was immediately suspicious.  Castiel never knocked – he just came right in, by now.  She understood immediately, however, when she looked through the peep hole to the porch.  She had never been able to fully see an angel’s true visage, though Castiel had described it in as much detail as he could.  She could, however, see the white sheen that seemed to shine from angels, and she recognized it immediately.  “Cas!” she screamed, running toward him.  “You’re – how?”

     But he didn’t register the words.  His eyes widened, and his nostrils flared, and he swept her off her feet, kissing her hungrily.  She responded in kind, wrapping her legs around him – he had come back alive, as an angel!  She realized he burned hotter than before, but tasted just as good.  He was just about to take her inside when he suddenly froze and disentangled himself from her, cursing in Enochian. 

     It took her a moment to work out what had happened – he hadn’t been able to pass through the warding.

     “You’re an angel again,” she said wonderously.  “How…”

     “I’ll tell you on the way,” he said, attempting to collect himself.  “Are you ready to head to the bunker?  We can deal with the angel-proofing later.”

     Ember nodded, still shocked.  “I’m driving,” she said.

     “Fine,” Castiel said.  “Never did get the hang of it, anyway.”

     Twenty minutes later, Castiel had explained everything to Ember about how he had stolen another angels’ grace.  “I feel terrible,” he finished.  “But I did what I had to do.  I wanted to come back to you.”

     Ember looked at him shrewdly for as long as she could before she had to look back at the road.  “So… nothing between us has… changed?” she asked carefully.  He was an angel now, again.  Would that mean he wanted something different?  Ember knew that angels occasionally had romantic relationships with humans, but Castiel had always kept his distance before until he was a human.

     “Yes, much has changed,” Castiel said, and Ember tried to mask her shock and upset.  “I will of course quit my job in Idaho, though perhaps I should keep my apartment for now.  There is other work I can do, now, which will be more helpful.  We will have to be even more discreet, of course.  The angels are looking for me more now than ever.” 

     Oh.  Castiel continued listing off his plans of what he wanted to do to help the angels, but Ember wasn’t listening.  “So… nothing has changed between us?” she asked, accidentally cutting him off.

     He seemed startled, and looked at her with alarm, his blue eyes shining into her brown ones.  “I meant what I said, Ember.  I love you.  Maybe I will outlive you a long time, now – maybe not.  But I would be honored to spend the life you have with you.”

     Ember smiled at him and reached over to squeeze his hand.  “I love you too, Cas.  And I would like that.”

Chapter Text

***Dean POV***

December 6, Early Morning

     Dean was desperate.  Sam – or, he corrected himself, the angel inside of Sam – had killed Kevin and left.  It was a mark of how desperate he was that he called the last two people in the universe he really wanted to see.  Truthfully, though, he cared much less now than he had 48 hours ago about things like ex-girlfriends and best friends who broke the “bro code.”

     Castiel and Ember let themselves in.  “Dean,” Castiel addressed him in his low voice, and Ember nodded.  They were not touching or holding hands, and Dean wondered if there was trouble in paradise or if they had worked everything out.  Something about their posture led him to suspect the later, however.  He realized that they weren’t touching out of respect for the situation, not because they didn’t want to.

     “We came as soon as we could,” Castiel said.

     “Dean, what happened here?” Ember said, looking around the room.

     “After you told me it wasn’t Ezekiel, I did a spell,” Dean said.  “But it didn’t work.  Whatever angel was inside Sam…” He stopped talking, then collected himself again.  “He heard me planning the spell.  He killed Kevin, and then he disappeared.”

     Ember let out a gasp.  “Dean,” she said, sympathetically.  “I’m sorry.”

     It was too much, somehow.  He hated her.  He hated the both of them.  He loved her.  And he missed Sam.  She had predicted this, all along!  And yet she still sat across the table, helping him find his way out of another horrible decision – along with her boyfriend, his best friend.

     “Sorry doesn’t pay the bills, does it?” Dean said angrily.  “It sure as hell ain’t gonna bring Kevin back.  I’ve lost everything!  Sam’s gone, Kevin’s dead…”  He looked at Ember, helplessly, and he knew she understood the words he refused to say:  And I lost you.  “We gotta find that son of a bitch,” he finished.

     “Dean, if the angel possessing Sam isn’t Ezekiel, then who is it?” Castiel asked.

     “A dead man walking,” Dean said viciously.

     “Sounds good to me,” Ember said.

     “You’re gonna destroy him?” asked Castiel.

     “Damn right,” said Dean.

     “But Dean,” Castiel said.  “If you kill an angel, its vessel dies, too.”

     “You think I don't know that? If I don't end Sam and that halo burns him out and I...  God, I was so damn stupid.”

     “Do you remember Alfie?” Castiel asked, changing the subject, and clearly choosing not to agree with Dean.

     “The kid angel?  Yeah.  Why?”

     “Before he died, he told me the demons were able to dig into his mind, access his coding.  We might be able to do that here.  We might be able to bypass the angel and talk directly to Sam.”

     “And you think that would work?” asked Dean.

     “I don't know, but I think we should try,” Castiel said.

***Dean POV***

December 6, Dusk

     Two hours later, Dean, Ember, and Castiel climbed in Ember’s Cruze with none other than Crowley, whom Dean had kept imprisoned in the bunker’s dungeon since the trials.  They needed Crowley’s help to dig into Sam’s mind, and the price for his help was “a field trip.  Dying for some fresh air.  Chains on, naturally.”  One of Crowley’s contacts had managed to track the Impala, which Sam’s angel had stolen, ultimately leading them to Somerset.

     The motley crew drove for 18 hours, straight through, until finally they were able to catch up to and capture Sam.  Whoever the angel was, Dean thought, he didn’t have a lot of experience in fighting.  As it turned out, what he did have a lot of experience in was being tortured.  Dean was able to recognize when someone had known torture before, and this angel had.  It had been hours, but nothing Crowley was doing appeared to be affecting the angel, aside from making him scream in pain.  He continued to refuse to leave Sam’s body.

     Ember had left early that morning and had not returned.  “I miss Sam, and I’d do just about anything for him, you know that,” she had said.  “But I didn’t sign up for this.  Call me when it’s over.”  And she had gone to sit outside in the car.

     Dean didn’t blame her.  After hours of watching the torture, he could bear it no more.  “I can’t watch that anymore,” he told Castiel.  They had gone further into the bowels of the abandoned building where they had chained up Sam.  They could still hear the screaming, and even see Crowley, but it was not quite as graphic from here.

     “I understand,” Castiel said.  “It’s not Sam, but… It's still Sam.”

     “Pretty much, yeah. How are you doing?”

     Castiel looked surprised.  “You want to talk about me now?”

     Dean was beyond caring.  “I want to talk about anything that's not a demon sticking needles into my brother's brain.”  He looked out of a window, and he could feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes.  “Yeah, humor me, man. How you doing?”

     “Uh... I'm okay,” Castiel said.  He paused.  Finally, he added, “I miss your friendship.”  He paused again, before adding, “I’m sorry.  About Ember, I mean.”

     “Not sorry enough to let her alone, I suppose,” Dean said.

     “No,” Castiel said slowly.  “Not… not that sorry.”  He paused, then added, “You told me you were over her.”

     “I  -...” Dean cut himself off.  He had been about to say, “I am,” but he supposed that was both more confusing and completely untrue.  “Dude, you really don’t get humans,” he said finally.

     “I think I’m starting to,” Castiel said after a pause.

     Both men were quiet for a minute.  Then Dean said, “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”

     “I understand,” Castiel said.

     Silence, again.  Then Dean said, “It never would’ve happened if I hadn’t kicked you out of the bunker.”

     Castiel nodded.  “You thought Sam’s life was at stake.”

     “Yeah,” Dean said, “I got played.”

     Castiel sighed, looking at Dean.  “I thought I was saving Heaven.  I got played, too.”

     “Maybe we’re both a couple of dumbasses,” Dean said, smiling at his friend weakly.

     Castiel smiled back, his smile a bit more wide than Dean’s.  “I prefer the word ‘trusting.’  Less dumb.  Less ass.”

     Suddenly, they heard Crowley yell, “Laverne!  Shirley!  Get in here!”  They rushed into the other room, only to find Sam unconscious.

     “Pinhead's out cold, but watch this,” said Crowley.  He moved two of the needles stuck in Sam’s left temple. 

     The angel sucked in a breath and began to speak in Enochian.  “Zir noco iad Gadreel. Zir noco iad Gadreel.”

     “What's he saying?” asked Dean.

     “His name. Gadreel,” Castiel answered.

     “Does that mean something to you?” asked Dean.

     “Well, it's why I've never seen him,” Answered Castiel.  “He's been imprisoned since the dawn of time. Gadreel was the sentry who allowed Lucifer into the garden.”  Dean could tell Castiel was very angry.

     “My, my. A celebrity,” said Crowley.

     “Wait, the garden?  Like, Eden?  Adam and Eve?  Fig-leaves garden?”

     “It's his fault – all of it!” Castiel exclaimed, letting his anger get the better of him.  “The corruption of man, demons, hell.  God left because of him.  The archangels – the Apocalypse.  If he hadn't been so weak, none of it would have happened.  Castiel had grabbed Gadreel by the jacket and begun to shake him.  “You ruined the universe, you damn son of a bitch!”

     Dean grabbed Castiel quickly.  “Cas! Cas! Hey!”

     “Dean, he-…”

     “I get it,” Dean said, worried for his friend.  “But you’ve got to chill.  Go find Ember, and bring her back here.”

     For the next half hour, Crowley continued to probe needles into Gadreel’s head.  Ember had returned, but looked as though she might leave again at any moment.  She and Castiel were holding hands, now, and Dean found that he barely even care.

     “What's taking so long?” Dean snapped finally.

     “Other than the fact that I'm trying to unravel a living, multidimensional knot of pure energy, not much,” Crowley said sarcastically.

     Finally, Gadreel gasped in a breath and opened his eyes.  “It won't work.  You will never find your brother.  Go ahead.  Poke and prod.  I can sit in this chair for years and watch you fail over and over again.  I've endured much worse than this, Dean.  So...much...worse.  And I have all the time in the world.”

     “Shut up!” Dean cried, reaching his limit.  “All right. Plan "B." Cas, you’ve got to possess him.”

     “What?” said Ember and Castiel at the same time.

     “Do it now!  Get in there, tell Sam what's going on, and help him kick that lying son of a bitch out!”

     “Uh, Dean…” said Ember slowly.

     “I can’t possess a vessel without permission,” Castiel finished for her.

     Suddenly Crowley cleared his throat.

     “No. Not happening,” said Dean.

     “Don't be daft. Demons can take what they want. I can burrow into that rat's nest of a head. I can wake Sam up. Just call me plan "C.”

     “You can't –…” protested Castiel.

     “Have either of you got a better idea?” he asked, but both Castiel and Ember stayed silent.

     Finally, Ember said, “I suppose it can’t get much worse.  Sam’s in chains.  If nothing else, one of them will kill the other off, Gadreel or Crowley.”

     “What about the angel?” Dean asked.

     “I'll work fast,” Crowley said.

     “And if he finds you?”

     “I'll run.  I'm not dying for you lot.  Of course, if I do this, you're gonna have to...”

     “Take off the leash.  Yeah, I know.”

     “And it stays off.  I save Sam, I leave here a free man.  Do we have a deal?”

     Dean didn’t like the idea, but he knew Crowley always held up his end of deals.  He looked at Ember for advice, or possibly for comfort. 

     “If you don’t keep our deal, your reputation will be toast, you know,” Ember commented.  “You can’t kill all of us.”

     “I’m aware of the risks, half-demon,” snapped Crowley.  “I see this as a win-win situation.  Everybody leaves happy.”  Ember sighed, and nodded imperceptibly to Dean.

     “Cas, burn off Sam's tattoo,” Dean commanded.

     “Dean,” the angel protested.

     “Do it.  Do it,” Dean said again.

     Castiel did.

     “If you mess with Sam, if you try anything –…”

     “I keep my bargains,” said the demon.  “Besides, I don't want to be inside your brother any longer than I have to. I'm not one for sloppy seconds.”

     “When you find him, say "Poughkeepsie."  It's our go word.  It means "drop everything and run,” Dean said.

     “Fine,” answered Crowley.  “While I'm gone, hands off the suit.”

     Gadreel glared at Crowley.  “I will destroy you.”

     “Eat me,” Crowley snapped.  And with that, a cloud of red smoke shot out of Crowley and into Sam’s mouth.

***Sam POV***

December 7, Late Night

     Sam felt horrible.  There wasn’t a joint or a bone in his body that didn’t absolutely ache.  He wasn’t sure if this feeling was left over from the trials or the torture that his body had endured at the hands of Crowley over the last several hours. 

     Sam had gathered, even through the pain, that Crowley had stayed behind at the abandoned warehouse to deal with Abaddon, who was baring down upon the warehouse with at least two of her cronies.  It was nearly two hours, therefore, before Ember and Dean both felt safe enough to stop their respective cars and gather to discuss what had happened.

     Castiel healed Sam, and he felt better afterward.  His head felt clearer than it had in months, he realized with a start.

     “You feel better?” Castiel asked.

     “A little, yeah,” Sam answered.

     “That angel was in you for a very long time,” Ember said, looking at him closely. 

     “It’ll take time to fully heal you,” Castiel said.  “We’ll have to do it in stages.”

     Castiel and Ember grasped hands then, and walked away to a respectful distance.  Sam understood – they were watching his confrontation with Dean.  If the brothers decided to go separate ways, neither brother would be stranded.

     “All right, let me hear it,” said Dean.

     Sam was angry.  It occurred to him that this must have been how Dean had felt when he had opened the door for Lucifer – completely and utterly betrayed.  It occurred to Sam that for the past few months, he had wondered why Ember had broken up with Dean, but this was clearly the answer.  “What do you want me to say – that I’m pissed?” he asked.  No words could describe it.  “Okay.  I am.  I’m pissed.  You lied to me.  Again.”

     “I didn’t have a choice,” Dean said.

     “I was ready to die, Dean!” Sam exclaimed, trying to calm himself but not having any luck.    

     “I know.  But I wouldn’t let you, because that’s not in me,” Dean responded.

     “So what?” Sam asked.  “You decide to trick me into being possessed by some… psycho angel?”

     “He saved your life.”

     “So what?” Sam asked.  “I was willing to die.  Do you not understand that?  And now… Kevin…”  His eyes began to fill with tears, despite his best efforts.

     “No,” Dean said fiercely, “That is not on you.  Kevin’s blood is on my hands, and that ain’t ever getting clean.  I’ll burn for that.  I will.  But I’ll find Gadreel.  And I will end that son of a bitch.  But I’ll do it alone.”

     “And what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Sam.  What he felt, however, was hopeful.  He realized, suddenly, that he wanted nothing more to be away from Dean in this moment.

     “Come on, man.  Can't you see?  I'm... I'm poison, Sam.  People get close to me, they get killed...or worse.  You know, I tell myself that I-I – I help more people than I hurt.  And I tell myself that I'm – I'm doing it all for the right reasons, and I – I believe that.  But I can't – I won't... Drag anybody through the muck with me.  Not anymore.”  Dean looked pleadingly at his brother.

     “Go. I'm not gonna stop you,” said Sam numbly.

     Dean’s face fell, but he did not protest.  “But don't go thinking that's the problem, 'cause it's not!” Sam yelled.  More than anything, he realized, he was sick of Dean’s constant need to protect him – this need which had gotten Dean sent to Hell, and started the apocalypse, and sent him to the cage, and caused Castiel’s need to take over Heaven, and released the leviathans, and sent Dean to Purgatory.”  Taking decisions into his own hands and then making shitty ones, he thought to himself, remembering one of his discussions with Ember after their break-up.

     “What's that supposed to mean?” Dean asked.

     If Dean couldn’t figure it out, it wasn’t worth Sam’s time.  “Just go,” he said.

     And so Dean slowly walked to the Impala, leaving Sam to stand in the rain with the couple that should never have happened.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

Winter

     Sam didn’t see Dean for nearly two months after the incident with Gadreel.  He spent much of his time at the bunker, but he also spent quite a bit of time either on the road or at Ember’s house, which was about 3 and a half hours away. 

     Overall, Sam was at Ember’s house at least once a week, and she brought the kids to the bunker at least twice a month, now that Dean was no longer in the picture.  Sam made excuses for how often he was coming around – to help with a new kind of angel proofing, for example, or to help teach the kids to fight.  Still, Ember suspected that he missed Dean more than he was willing to admit.

     Truthfully, his presence and his help were more than welcome, regardless of the reasons.  Castiel’s angel powers presented a problem for security for the children – while before, they had simply warded the home against angels, it was no longer that simple.  Instead, the children’s rooms were warded, and the house was covered in cleverly disguised banishing symbols in case of emergency.  Castiel, Sam, and Ember worked their schedules so that one of the three of them was always home in case angels came looking for Castiel, and the angel did his best to make sure that he came and went unseen.

     The small family spent a memorable Christmas at the bunker.  Sam seemed somewhat sad and withdrawn, and Ember commented to Castiel that she was beginning to get used to one Winchester or the other being absent from her life for long periods of time.  First it was Sam in the cage, then Sam with no soul, then her break-up with Dean, then Dean in Purgatory, then Sam possessed by an angel so she couldn’t be completely open with him, and now Dean attempting to escape his life.

     Aside from angel security issues and Winchester drama, however, Ember found that her life couldn’t have been better.  There was something special about dating an angel that Ember took pride in.  Not only was he equal to Dean in looks, but he was incredibly strong physically.  It also turned out that Castiel was better in bed as an angel, even, than he had been as a human.  Angels, as it turned out, have the ability to coax out or draw out an orgasm, which Ember found to be one of the best things she had ever experienced.  It more than made up for the fact that Castiel would never again sleep with her, as Castiel no longer slept at all.  Occasionally, he did lie down with her until she fell asleep.

     “Is it different now, than it used to be?” she asked him.

     “Very much so,” he answered.  “Food does not taste like it used to.  I can taste all of the molecules now, instead of tasting the food as a whole.  It’s disgusting.  I miss the taste of food.”  He looked at her reflectively.  “I don’t miss requiring it constantly, though.”

     Ember looked at him with surprise.  “Yeah?  What else?”  If food was so different, perhaps sex, and love, would be different too.

     “I no longer have to do mundane human things,” Castiel said.  “Like sleep, and urinate.”  He pulled her toward him, sprawling out farther on her bed as he did so.

     “What about sex?” she asked with trepidation.

     He grinned widely.  “It’s much better,” he said.  “Have you not noticed?”

     “I wasn’t sure if… if it was good for you, though.  Or if you were just doing it because you knew it was what I wanted…”

     “I very much enjoy it,” he said, quirking a smile at her.

     She smiled back at him, tracing a finger down his chest.  “And your… your love for me?”  He raised an eyebrow.  “It’s just… I know angels don’t feel emotions the same way that humans do,” Ember said.

     “I loved you when I was human,” he answered, nodding.  “Now, your powers and your smell, your demon attraction, have added to this love and amplified it even more.  My love for you and my desire to help the angels, and my resolve to rectify my failures, are the only emotions I have now that I am once again a celestial being.  The everyday problems are no longer a concern, and it leaves more room for more important emotions.”

     “Okay,” she said.  “I just… I guess I was worried things have changed.”

     “If you’d like, I can show you how I feel about you, now,” he said, his blue eyes dancing.

     “What do you mean?” asked Ember.

     Castiel held out two fingers, and gave Ember a look that was clearly a request for permission.

     Ember nodded, and Castiel made contact.  Suddenly, Ember felt a calmness she’d never experienced before, and with it a feeling of love that was so complete it almost made her want to cry.

     “Cas,” she whispered.  “This is – this is how you feel?”

     “Always,” he told her, kissing her softly.

***Sam POV***

February 7, Night

     Dean and Sam had begun hunting together again after they ran into each other on a case near the end of January… but this didn’t mean that Sam was no longer angry with him.  As he had told Dean, “I can’t trust you – not the way I thought I could.  Not the way I should be able to.”  He’d had terms for hunting with Dean again:  “If you want to work, let’s work.  If you want to be brothers… those are my terms.”  He could tell Dean was upset about his comment, but it was the best he could do right now. 

     Sam could tell that his terms bothered Dean, however his brother (as usual) refused to admit that anything was wrong.  It was a week later, after a case involving a Peruvian fat sucker, when Dean once again brought up the rift between the two of them.  “About what you said the other day,” he said.

     “I thought it didn’t bother you?” Sam said knowingly. 

     Dean ignored him.  “You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church.  And the hospital.  I may not think things all the way through.  Okay?  But what I do, I do because it's the right thing.  I'd do it again.”

     Sam sighed.  He had been waiting for this.  “And that... is the problem.  You think you're my savior, my brother, the hero.  You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad... But you're not.”

     Dean stared at him blankly.  “I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind.  We're no closer to beating this angel thing.  You’ve lost Ember, now, just when you finally had her back, when you told me you’d do anything to get her back.  And to Castiel?”  Dean reeled back as though he’d been slapped.  “I mean, I couldn’t help but notice she would’ve been really handy on a few of the cases we’ve had over the past few months.  And of course, Abbadon’s loose, which is also our fault… Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive?”

     Dean’s face was working as he went through a range of emotions - angry, furious, guilty, stunned.  “You kidding me?  You and me -- fighting the good fight together,” he finally said, desperately.

     Sam sighed in frustration, and almost left the room.  Ultimately, however, he took a breath and sat down across the table from Dean.  “Okay,” he said.  “Just once, be honest with me.  You didn’t save me for me.  You did it for you.”

     Dean looked at him, confused.  “What are you talking about?”

     “I was ready to die,” Sam said.  “I was ready.  I should’ve died, but you… you didn’t want to be alone, and that’s what all this boils down to.  You can’t stand the thought of being alone.”

     Dean drew back and stood up.  “All right,” he said, rolling his eyes and moving to stand.

     “I’ll give you this much,” said Sam, unwilling for the conversation to be over.  “You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt.”

     “All right, you want to be honest?” Dean said.  “If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing.”

     “No, Dean, I wouldn’t,” Sam said softly.

     Dean looked at him, obviously shocked.  “Same circumstances… I wouldn’t.  I’m gonna get to bed.”  And he left Dean standing shocked in their kitchen.

***Ember POV***

February 26

     Castiel was constantly busy searching for Metatron, with (so far) no luck.  He had fortunately managed to sweep Ember away for a romantic getaway to Miami, but overall he was gone more than he was home.  Regardless, he called Ember at exactly the same time every day to check in.  Often he would text or call her multiple other times as well.

     On February 25^th, however, Castiel did not check in, and Ember knew he had been captured.  She was sick with worry for two days.  Sam and Dean were on a case in Wichita, however, so Ember was unable to seek out Castiel, as her duty was to her children.  She wouldn’t have known where to start searching, anyway – Castiel never said where he was over the phone, in case something was intercepted.

     Only a day later, however Castiel returned, with news:  he had killed Bartholomew.  Apparently Bartholomew had been killing other angels who were non-violent and refusing to take sides, calling themselves the Penitents.  Castiel had refused to join Bartholomew in his killing, and was ultimately forced to kill Bartholomew in self-defense.

     “You did the right thing, Cas,” she said.  She had taken the day off to do some research online about his whereabouts, and he had returned during school hours.  They had then had sex for two hours on the living room sofa, and her body was still thrumming from the orgasm.  Now, he held her loosely, a blanket draped over both of them.

     “I know,” he said.  He was silent for a moment.  Then he asked, “Will you go with me on Saturday?  I would like to visit Rebecca’s grave.  She was the leader of the Penitents.  It isn’t far from here.”

     “Of course, Cas,” Ember answered.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Two days later, Ember and Castiel were standing in front of Rebecca’s grave.  The human vessel was called Darlene Foster, and her grave was beautiful, with a picture and some flowers nearby. 

     “Sorry I created this chaos,” Castiel said.  “Sorry I couldn’t do more to fix it.”  Ember squeezed Castiel’s hand.  “You may have lost the war, Rebecca, but you tried a new way.  You have my respect for that.”

     Suddenly Ember felt as though she was being watched, and whirled around.  Castiel had whirled around, too, as a hand had been placed on his shoulder, and his arm was in front of Ember faster than she knew he could move.  “I don’t want to fight,” he told the angel gruffly, “But if I have to, I will.”

     “I didn’t come to fight,” the angel told Castiel.  “Either of you,” he said, nodding at Ember.  “When I fell, I thought I had no choice.  But yesterday, you’ve showed me that there is a choice.  And I choose you.”

     Castiel looked at Ember, who said nothing.  “I’m sorry,” Castiel said, shaking his head.  “I’m no leader.”

     “Yes, you are,” said the other angel.  “If you’ll have me, Castiel, I will follow you.  And I am not the only one.”

     Castiel looked at Ember again, determination in his eyes.  “I’m sorry,” he said again, “And I wish you the best.  But I am no leader.”

***Ember POV***

March 25

     Ember’s phone rang early on Friday afternoon.

     “I’ve got bad news,” Castiel said.

     Ember sighed.  “You won’t be able to come home, like you thought?”

     “Yes,” said Castiel, “But there’s more.  I’ve just received word that one of Malachi’s people captured Hadraniel yesterday,” said Castiel. 

     “Hadraniel?” Ember said.  “Do you mean the angel that met us at Rebecca’s grave?”

     “Exactly,” said Castiel.  “I never should’ve taken you there.  I -…”

     “Don’t start, Cas,” Ember said, rolling her eyes, though she knew Castiel couldn’t see her.  “Are you trying to tell me that we’ve been compromised?”

     Castiel was silent for a second.  “It’s probably nothing,” he said finally.  “But he is one of the few angels that has seen us together.  I’m setting off to go look for him at once.  We’ve got a pretty good idea of where he is – Malachi is getting sloppy.”

     Ember sighed.  “When will you be home?”

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said.  “I know I haven’t been home in more than two weeks.  When I do come home, I’ll stay longer, I promise.  In the meantime though, just for tonight… do you think maybe you could take the kids to the bunker?

     ”Yeah, let me call Sam,” Ember said, letting out another sigh.  She had really been hoping to have Castiel around for the weekend.  “Do you think you’ll find him by tomorrow?”

     “Almost certainly,” said Cas.  “We’ve got a good lead from a reliable source.”

     “I love you, Cas,” Ember said.  “Be careful.”

     “I love you too,” Castiel replied.

     Two minutes later, Ember called Sam.  “Aw, Ember, rough timing, I just left on a hunt.  Dean’s there, though.”

     “You guys aren’t hunting together?  I thought you had… well, not made up exactly, but… you know what I mean.”

     “Yeah, we have, but… actually, it might be good if you checked on him.  I mean, you and Dean are on speaking terms again, right?”

     “Yeah,” Ember said.  This was true.  Ever since the beginning of February, Ember and Dean had once again been on speaking terms.  Dean had, ironically, been the one to open this door, with Sam’s help.  It was, Ember had to admit, a big help overall.  They had consulted with each other about cases, and Dean and Sam had even had the children over to the bunker one weekend a month for the past two months.

     “Well, he’s become obsessed, with finding a way to kill Abaddon,” Sam admitted.  “He could use a distraction.  Maybe even some help with research.”

     Ember paused.  She did want to make a trip to the bunker, but she didn’t want to intrude on the ever-fragile, ever-evolving relationship she had with Dean.  “Do you think Dean will be okay with it?” Ember asked.

     “Ember, Dean adores those kids, and he adores you.  And if Castiel is desperate enough to send you to the bunker for the weekend, he probably has a good reason,” Sam said.  “Anyway, someone needs to remind Dean to eat once in awhile.”

     “Wait, Dean’s forgetting to eat?” Ember asked.  “Jesus, that is bad.”  She paused.  “Okay, we’ll be on our way in 20.”

***Ember POV***    

March 25, Late Night

     It was just after midnight in the Men of Letters bunker.  Josephine and Krissy were both staying at friends’ homes, so only Aidan had come to the bunker with Ember, and he headed to his room around 10.  Ember and Dean had been drinking since then.

     “Come on, drink with me,” Dean had begged.

     “You don’t need any help drinking, Dean,” Ember had responded. 

     “I don’t drink nearly as much now as I did before Purgatory,” he said.

     “No,” Ember corrected.  “We both know that’s not true.  You held off on the Hunter’s Helper for awhile after Purgatory, but we both know you’re back at it again.”

     Dean gave her a scowling look.  “Sam ratted me out again, huh?”

     “He didn’t have to,” Ember said, rolling her eyes.

     “Humor me,” he begged.  “Like we used to, during that year we settled down.  Come on, how many years has it been since you lived somewhere where you felt safe enough to drink?  Tomorrow’s Saturday, nobody’s going anywhere.”

     Dean had a good point.  Ember had a low tolerance for alcohol, and demons were always a threat, even now that Ember was so strong.  She drank very rarely, because she didn’t want to be surprised while intoxicated.  It had been the year after the apocalypse, when Sam was in Hell, that she had last been really, properly drunk.  So, the drinking began.

     Finally, at just after midnight, Dean slurred, “Mmmmm drunk.”

     Ember laughed.  “I didn’t know that was possible.”

     “Added Absynthe.”  Dean began to giggle.

     “Dean!” Ember said, warningly.  “Why the hell would you do that?”

     “Havvvveee trouble making the drunks anymore.  Haddd to use harder stuff.  Like Cas.  In the world with the Lucifer-Sam.”

     Ember wondered if Dean was simply saying names now.  Perhaps she would ask him what he was talking about when he was sober again.  Just as she began to try to figure out what to do, Dean asked, “Emmmber?”

     “Yeah?”  She had a feeling whatever Dean was about to ask, she didn’t want to hear it.  He had a habit of only telling her his true feelings when he had a little bit of alcohol in him.  It was why she hadn’t attempted to shut down his drinking entirely during their year away from hunting.  Still, this was worse than it had ever been before.  He was drunker than ever now, she could tell.

     “D’ya think I wouldn’t let Ssssssammy die ‘cause I was being sssssselfish?  Cuz I can’t stand to be alone?”

     Ember was stunned.  Had Sam told him that?  Ember and Sam had talked about this being the reason,, but she hadn’t thought Sam would ever repeat this to Dean. 

     “Dean, I…”

     But her guilty expression showed on her face.  “You do think that, don’t you?” Dean said, staring at her and looking crushed.  “And it’s true, you know?  It’s truuuuuuueee!  I can’t imagine… life without him… and without you…”  Dean shivered violently suddenly as though very dizzy, and he laid his head back on the chair he had been sitting in for the past few hours. 

     “I ffffffucked up so bad, Ember,” Dean continued.  “Your shmemories, and becoming a vammmmpire, and Gadreel…”  Dean’s eyes began to close, and she could tell unconsciousness was not far off for him.  She had always wondered how much he would actually have to drink to black out – apparently, now she knew.

     “Dean-…” she started.

     “Thinggssss change, you know?” Dean said, his eyes still closed.  “You’re dating an angel now.  A half-demon and an angel?  Sounds like a bad joke.”

    Ember’s blood ran cold, and the few kind things she had been about to say to Dean flew out of her head as she turned to face him.

     “It won’t last, you know.  It can’t, now that he’s… angel…”

     Finally, just as Ember opened her mouth to make a retort, Dean’s head hit the side of the couch, and he was out cold.  Still boiling with anger, Ember shot a disgusted look at her old boyfriend before heading up the stairs herself.  She shook her head at the shell of a man she used to date.  She knew that tomorrow morning he wouldn’t remember anything.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

April 15, Late Night

     Ember and Castiel were going strong, and Ember was happy.  Castiel was gone quite a bit, of course, but Ember felt certain that there would be an end to it, at some point.  She knew that Metatron was amassing an army to remake Heaven in his image, and that Castiel was doing whatever he could to find Metatron.  Eventually, something had to give.

     When Castiel was home, however, he was attentive, good with the children, and devoted to the family.

     Until one day when, once again, Castiel didn’t call in as usual.

     “I was just about to call you,” Dean said over the phone when Ember called him to see if he had heard from Castiel.  “I was hoping he was with you.”

     “No, he left out the day before yesterday.  Last time I talked to him was this morning.  He was following some sort of angel beacon that was calling out to him.”

     “Last time we talked to him was last night, in Ogden, Utah,” Dean said.  “The GPS on his phone says he’s still there.  That’s where we are, now.  We’ve tracked Gadreel there.”

     “What?!” Ember said, beginning to panic.

     “Don’t worry, we’ve got Gadreel,” Dean said.  “But we don’t know how to crack him.”

     “I’m not sure if Cas is the right person for that job, Dean,” Ember admitted, “But I’m pretty worried about him too.  I’m headed for Utah right away.”

     “Ember, I’m sure it’s nothing-…”

     “Bullshit, Dean,” Ember said.  “I’ll be on the road in five.  Let me know if you find him.”

     “Okay,” said Dean.  “We’ll let you know.”

***Castiel POV***

April 15, Late Night

     Castiel had a decent sense of irony.  It did not escape his notice that he had spent weeks looking for Metatron, only to be captured by him and held prisoner.  Metatron was what Dean would have called “crazy”.  He had fashioned himself a hero and was attempting to rebuild Heaven in his image.  “Every hero needs a good villian, Castiel,” he had told him.  He wanted Castiel to lead a group of angels against him.

     “Do you know why I didn't kill you after I stole your Grace? I like you.  Truly.  Among all God's little windup toys, you were the only one with any spunk.  I left you human because I was hoping you would live happily ever after, but you screwed that up, too.  I mean, you’ve got a great piece of ass like Ember at home, and you still go off to save the angels?  How does that compute?”

     “Watch your tone,” Castiel said, attempting to break out of his bonds, but it was no use.  Metatron knew about Ember!  It must be because of Gadreel…

     “And now...  you leave me no choice,” Metatron continued.  I mean, if you want to get back on board, fine, but you're gonna have to follow my script.”

     Castiel wasn’t entirely sure what this meant, but he was sure he didn’t like the sound of it.  “Well, based on your assessment, that doesn't sound like me.”

     “Lead the dumb, disenfranchised, rebellious angels against me, Castiel,” Metatron said.  “They will follow you.  And they'll all die, but I'm gonna save a nice, warm seat up top for you.  You will be saved.”

     No, Castiel definitely didn’t like the sound of that.  “No,” he said firmly.

     “Mm. You're gonna make me do the hard pitch, aren't you?  How's that, um, stolen grace inside you working out?” Metatron asked.

     “It's fine,” Castiel said firmly.  It wasn’t.  There was something wrong with it, something different, uncomfortable.  But he wasn’t going to tell that to Metatron.

     “No. It's not,” Metatron said.  “It's burning out.  It's gonna burn you out.  But I will give you an endless supply of rechargeable batteries.  Deal?”

     Castiel didn’t show his panic on his face.  Does that mean I’m dying?

     Fortunately, just then, a woman entered the room.  “Sorry to interrupt your writing session, sir, but something's happened.”

     “What's wrong?” Metatron asked.

     “It's Gadreel,” the woman said.

***Ember POV***

April 16, Early morning

     “What’s up, Sam?” Ember said, answering her phone.

     “Metatron has Cas,” Sam said immediately.  “He’s offering up a trade for Gadreel.  Later tomorrow – well, today, I guess, since it’s so late – at 6.  Are you in?”

     “Of course I’m in,” Ember said.  “What’s the plan?”

     But for all of their planning, the trade occurred exactly as Metatron had planned, despite their attempts to trap him.  Gadreel was traded for Castiel, and then Metatron, Gadreel, and the rest of Metatron’s army left.  “You, and your little brother, and your half-demon pet, and your fine feathered friend, and all those secrets you’ve got locked away in your bunker can’t stop me,” Metatron said to Dean.  “But I am gonna enjoy watching you try.  It’s gonna be a hell of a show.”

     Next, Metatron turned to Castiel.  “I’ll see you around, Castiel.  Never forget, I gave you a chance.”  And Metatron and Gadreel both disappeared.

     “Somebody want to tell me what the hell's going on here?” Dean asked irritably.

     “Metatron is trying to play God,” Castiel said.

     “Play God?” Sam asked.  “Cas, he erased our angel warding.  He friggin' blew out holy fire.  He is God.  He's powering up with the angel tablet.  How the hell are we supposed to stop this guy?”

     “All right, so what if there is a stairway to Heaven?” Dean asked. “We find it and get a drop on the guy.”

     “You want to sneak onto the Death Star, take out the emperor?” Sam asked.

     “Okay I... I'm not sure what a fictional battle station in space has to do with this, but if taking out the emperor means taking out Metatron, I'm on board,” said Castiel.

     Ember, Dean, and Sam looked at each other.

     “Cas,” Ember said slowly.

     “Wait, did you... did you just understand a Death Star reference?” Dean asked slowly.

     “Yeah, I think so,” Castiel said.  “But I don't understand what that has to do with Heaven.”

     “It's halfway, I guess,” said Sam.

     “You sure you're all right?” Dean asked Castiel.

     “Yes. Are you?”  Castiel asked.  “There's something different about you.”

     Dean patted Castiel on the arm.  “I'm fine.”

     Castiel grabbed Dean’s arm and pushed up his sleeve, revealing a mark Ember had read about over the weekend in one of the books about defeating Knights of Hell.

     “Dean!” Ember said sharply.  “Is that-…”

     “What have you done?” Castiel asked Dean, alarmed.

     “It's a means to an end,” Dean said.

     “Damn it, Dean,” said Castiel.

     “Look, you find Heaven, you drop a dime.  Meantime, I got a knight to kill.”  And he stomped off back to the Impala.

     Ember was left with Sam and Castiel now.  “Be safe out there,” Sam said awkwardly to the couple.

     “You too,” said Castiel, and Ember echoed his statement.  “Hey Sam?”  Sam looked up.  “You keep an eye on him,” Castiel finished.

***Castiel POV***

April 24

     In one day, everything had shattered. 

     First of all, he was dying.  He knew that now.  Perhaps he had known it for awhile, but never really wanted to admit it.  How long did he have?  Two months?  A year?

     And then there was Dean, with the Mark of Cain.  How could Dean have done it?  Did he know what he had done to himself?  Did he understand the consequence of accepting that Mark?  That part, at least, he could be open with Ember about.  “More of Dean’s stupid decision-making,” she had called it once he had explained the situation to her.  “I’m glad I’ve moved on.”

     But Dean was Castiel’s best friend, and Castiel had hurt him by going out with Ember – he understood that now.  And Castiel knew, better than Dean himself, that Ember may be the only person who could truly get through to Dean now that he had taken on the Mark.  Dean would need Ember, far more than Castiel would.

     And finally, there was the angel war.  Being a rogue angel, a “fallen angel”, was one thing.  Being the leader against Metatron was something different entirely.  He would’ve been kidding himself if he hadn’t admitted that this created a much greater risk for their continued relationship.  And this… Metatron would know everything about Ember, from Gadreel.

     He had enjoyed being a human - at least, the parts where he was with Ember.  Perhaps in a perfect world, he could have settled down with her.  He’d known an angel who had done that once, Akobel.  He had been a good man… until they had had a Nephilim, an angelic child.  Castiel would never make that mistake, he thought. 

     But this was not a perfect world.  He was Castiel, fallen angel, and despite his best efforts, he had once again been called upon to lead the angels.  He knew what he had to do.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember did not seem surprised at all, though her eyes filled with tears. 

     “I knew it,” she said, unable to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.  “I knew it, as soon as you stole that grace.”

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said.  “You know it’s not because I want to.  It’s not because I don’t - ….”

     “I know,” Ember said tersely, cutting him off.  “But that doesn’t make it any better.”

     “And besides, Dean needs you,” Castiel said. 

     Ember looked angry, suddenly.  “What the hell has Dean got to do with this?”

     “Ember, Dean took on the Mark of Cain.  I’ve told you what that means.  You’re one of the two people he cares most about, I can see it when he’s near you.  He loves you, Ember.  And we need that.”

     “Dean Winchester’s love for me shouldn’t determine my destiny or my love life!” Ember snapped.

     “It shouldn’t but it does,”  Castiel said calmly.  “Do you not understand?  We do not want Dean Winchester, of all people, going dark.”

     “I thought you said it was inevitable,” Ember said.

     “It is,” Castiel said derisively.  “But let’s not speed it up.” 

     Ember looked at him, her eyes blazing.  “So what am I supposed to do?  What, are you, like, whoring me out to Dean Winchester?”

     Castiel looked at her, suddenly angry.  Tears were sliding down her face, and he couldn’t ever remember being this miserable.  “I’m leaving for your safety,” he spat at her.  “I didn’t want this, you know that.  I’ve made mistakes, and I have to make them right.”

     “You promised,” Ember said.  “You promised, remember?  You said you would pray to the angels, and if you survived, we could settle down.”  Her eyes were full of accusations, and she spat them at him.

     “Yes, but now I can do some real good,” he said.  “I can put this back together, I can make it right.  You wouldn’t love me if I didn’t try to fix my mistakes, we both know that.”

     She gave him an angry look, but didn’t respond for a second – he was right, and she knew it.  Finally, however, she said, “Fine.  Say you win this war, you and your followers.  Say you put it right, and Heaven opens again.  Then what?+”

     She was leaving the door open for him, he understood that.  It was a tempting offer, and one he desperately wanted – a life with Ember, for however long Ember was alive.  Before he knew that he was dying, he had even thought about waiting until she was old, then removing his grace himself to die with her, like they did in so many of the movies Metatron had shown him.

     He was dying, though.  And, as much as he hated it, she would be better with Dean.  Dean might not be better for her, but the world would be better for it.  She could help Dean fight the darkness that Castiel knew was growing inside of him.  Ember would be good at that – taking in a wounded puppy off the street and giving it love and faith.  Hadn’t that been what she had done for Castiel?  Plus, Castiel knew that Dean and Ember still loved each other – he had seen it in both of their minds.

     He never should have been with Ember.  It was eight months of pure bliss in an otherwise bleak existence, but it never should’ve happened.  And so he said, “Then, my place is in Heaven.”  She turned away, tears streaming down her face.

     “Call me if you need me,” he told her.  “I will always come if you need me.”

     And then he was gone.

Chapter Text

***Ember POV***

May

     Ember was devastated after Castiel broke up with her.  He was everything she had wanted – he was kind, caring, duty-bound, and he had – at least while they were together – discussed decisions with her before he had made them.  Even the decision they had disagreed upon the most, him praying to the angels for help, had been discussed a million times before Castiel had finally gone about it.  And, even when he had gone about it, he had told her before doing so, and ensured Ember’s and her family’s safety. 

    In the end, however, Castiel was right, and Ember knew it.  These new duties he was taking on left no time for a girlfriend and a family, nor was it safe for a human family in particular to have any ties to the angel.  Ember knew that Castiel would be a far better leader for Heaven than Metatron, and from the small bits of information she caught from Sam, Dean, or Castiel himself, she knew that he was becoming a formidable opponent.

     What mystified her, however, was Castiel’s insistence that he would never return, even if things with Metatron resolved themselves.  Perhaps, like with Dean, things would never resolve themselves enough for Castiel to truly settle down with a wife.  Still, Ember was completely mystified at his refusal to leave the door open for something in the future.  She had been sure Castiel loved her more than that.  It was this mystery that left a nagging, unsolved feeling in the pit of Ember’s stomach, and it was here that her thoughts returned when they began to wander.

     In reality, though, Ember was busier than she had ever been.  Josephine was a senior, which came with all sorts of ceremonies and parties.  She was also preparing for college, which had been a monumental project as a parent.  Josephine, Aidan, and even Krissy, who had been invited by a junior, were attending Prom.  Work, also, had never been busier for Ember.

     On May 2nd, not two weeks after Ember and Castiel had broken up, Ember saw two angels lurking around her house, which was now warded completely against angels once again. 

     “Castiel!” Ember said hurriedly over the phone.  “There are two angels standing at my doorway.”

     “What do they want?” he asked.  There was a trace of concern in his voice, Ember noted, but it was brusque, and business-like.  She felt her heart sink even lower.

     “They won’t say,” she said.  “They just asked me to come out.”

     “What do they look like?”

     “One’s black with black leather pants and a leopard-print top.  The other is male, white, wearing a suit, and thin,”

     “I don’t know the man,” Castiel said, business-like again.  “But the woman is Lethandriel.  She’s one of Metatron’s, when last we checked.  Take the kids and head down to the basement.” 

     “Will you come?  Or at least send someone?”

     “The closest are Dean and Sam.  We don’t have news of any other angels in the area, so you should be okay until they get there.  I’ll call them.”

     Click.

     Dean and Sam came immediately, and the brothers, Ember, and the children killed the two angels with no trouble.

     “Metatron might send others.  We knew it was a risk,” Castiel said when Ember, Sam, and Dean called to report back to Castiel.  “We discussed this, after we found out Gadreel was working with Metatron.  It seems now they want to use you against me.  It’s not safe anymore.  You’ll need to move out.  I’m sorry.”

     Castiel’s voice was cold, and Ember felt a stab of misery.  “Cas, it’s not that simple,” Ember said.  “The kids are still in school.  Even if we moved somewhere else, I can’t pull them out of school.  They’re out in a month, and it-…”

     “I can send guards,” Castiel said abruptly.  “But not all the time.  We’re scraping for soldiers as it is.  You’ll still have to go to the bunker on the weekends.”

     It’s wonderful that you can send guards sometimes to guard the person you were screwing two weeks ago now that you became a damn Commander.

     “We’ll be happy to have them,” Sam said.

     “I can stand guard whenever you can’t spare any angels,” Dean said.

     I just bet you can.

     “That would certainly make things easier,” Castiel said.  “It’d still be safest for you to move into the bunker in June, Ember.”

     Fuck you, Castiel.  “I hope the war will be over by then,” Ember snapped tersely.  “But if it’s not, I suppose I have no choice.”

     When she explained the news to the children, Krissy was more than thrilled, as she wanted to be a hunter when she grew up, and this provided her with an opportunity to learn from Dean Winchester himself, whom she idolized.

     “What was Cas, then, chopped liver?” Ember asked them both one morning.

     “Well, first Cas was a human, and he was kind of a homeless bum, when he wasn’t with us being awesome,” Aidan said.  “And then he was an angel, and then he was all like, ‘Brush your teeth, or I’ll shine on you with my holy power.”’

     Krissy rolled her eyes.

     “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ember asked the children.

     Krissy sighed.  “Castiel was really cool, and he taught us… a lot.  But he’s an angel.  We can never live up to that, or relate to it.  Dean is… he lives the life, you know?”

     Ember narrowed her eyes.  It annoyed her that Krissy had so easily agreed to moving into the bunker.

     Josephine and Aidan were not as easily convinced, however.  Both of them made arrangements to stay in town with friends over the summer.  They would be safe, Ember guessed, so long as they were out of the house, which had been made.  Castiel had marked the ribs of all three children with Enochian to hide them from angels as soon as his angel powers had been returned to him back in December, so no angels would be able to find them that way.

     Getting through the remainder of the school year was difficult.  Almost a week before the end of the school year, more angels came.  One of Castiel’s angel guards was killed in the ensuing fight.  Castiel sent additional angel guards, and fortunately these remained alive until the schoolyear had completed. 

     The looming threat of attacking angels during the month of May unfortunately gave Dean more than enough reason to find excuses to be over more often, and for Ember and the children to come to the bunker as often as possible.  Annoyingly, Ember had to admit to herself that Castiel had been right about the Mark of Cain.  The change in Dean wouldn’t have been apparent to anyone else, but Ember knew Dean very well.  She saw, before it became apparent to Sam or even Dean himself, a change in her old boyfriend.  A calm sort of anger seemed to simmer just below the surface, as though constantly threatening.  The only time it wasn’t present, she noticed, was when he was around the children.

     Dean spent an awful lot of time around the children.  In fact, Dean was doing a lot of things to try to win Ember back.  He was drinking less.  He was confiding in her more – really confiding in her, about important things.  Burned by Castiel and suddenly lonely, Ember couldn’t help but notice this.  The fact that Dean was a very attractive man was also unhelpful.  Still, she was determined – she had been down that road with Dean Winchester before, and it only led to trouble.  She would not go down that road again.

     Somehow, even she didn’t believe that.

***Ember POV***

May 28^th, Early morning

     “You’ll never guess who just called,” Dean said, padding down the stairs and putting bacon on the stove.  It was the fifth night in a row he had stayed, and Ember was first incredibly turned on, then incredibly annoyed, with how good he looked in the morning.  He was fully dressed, whereas when they had been dating he would often wear a robe, she noted.  It both annoyed and relieved her.  He was getting increasingly close, and between the Mark of Cain, her own protection, and the childrens’ protection, she could do next to nothing to stop it.  Stop waving yourself in front of my face.  It’s been over a month.  A girl has needs, you asshole.

     “Who?” she said, finally remembering that he had asked a question. 

     “Cas,” he said.  “Haven’t heard from him in at least a week.”

     Just like that, Ember stopped thinking of Dean.  In Dean’s place, she saw Cas, expertly frying a spread of bacon and passing it to all three children.  Cas, who in one week of them being together had cooked more than Ember had in the month since they’d been apart.  Cas, making love to her in the bed upstairs... Ember was halfway through eating a piece of toast, and hid her face so that Dean would not see her reaction.

     Dean wasn’t stupid.  “Sorry,” he said bluntly.

     “What’s he want?” Ember asked cooly.  Ember hadn’t heard from Castiel personally since his call more than three weeks ago asking her to move to the bunker.  She had attempted to call a couple of times, but he seemed to respond only to texts.  On two occasions when she had tried to call, he had even called Dean to ask if everything was ok.

     Eventually, Ember had gotten the message.

     “Don’t know,” Dean said, no longer sounding excited.  “He called for Sam and I to come to his ‘Headquarters’, whatever that means.  I was planning on heading out after breakfast.  From the sound of it, it has something to do with the angel war.”

     Ember sighed, still not looking at Dean.  “That’s fine,” she said.

     “I’m sorry,” Dean said again, lowering his voice.  “I know you’re still not-… I mean…”

     “It’s okay,” Ember said awkwardly, finally looking at him.  “If you’re wondering, I was just as fucked up when we broke up.”  She flashed him a look of loathing before flouncing out of the room to the garage to go to work.

Ember Cell Phone:  Dean, I’m sorry.  You caught me at a bad time.  I really appreciate everything you’ve done to help.

Dean Cell Phone:  No prob.  Home tomorrow.

     Did Dean mean home, or at Ember’s place?  Ember wondered.

     Apparently, he meant back at Ember’s place. 

***Dean POV***

June 2, Early Afternoon

     Dean felt the first blade in his hands, charging him, and he felt it’s fury-…

     “Dean!” Ember was yelling.  She was standing in his room (the guest room at her house), with her work clothes still on, pointing to his phone.  “Your phone!”

     He looked down to find that his phone was ringing, and had been for some time.  That would explain why she had walked into his room.  It must’ve been the first time she had come into his room to visit since he had started inhabiting the guest room.  There was only one more day of school, and then the children would be coming back to the bunker.

     Ember seemed practically numb to his attempts to win her back.  At some points, she was even hostile.  Still, Dean would be sad to stop spending time in this house.  They had decided that he would look after Krissy at the bunker, and she would come visit only on weekends, when she could get a break from her job.  The rest of the time, Ember would float, invisible, around motels and abandoned houses, like she had during the time of the Leviathans. 

     Dean hated to think of her living like that again, and he hated that he couldn’t talk her out of it.  Most of all, he hated not being able to see her every day.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t about that anymore.  It was about her life, and the lives of her children. 

     Crowley was on the phone.  “It’s about time, where the hell have you been?”  Finally.  The First Blade might actually pay off.

     “I told you I’d be in touch when I’d found Abaddon,” Crowley said.  “Well… I’m in touch.”

     “Where are you?” asked Dean. 

     Ember, who had been in the doorway, turned around to listen.  Dean suspected she could tell from his voice that it was a more serious phone call than usual.  “I’ll give you the location of the First Blade,” Crowley said.  “You two fetch it, I’ll keep her in my sights.  Then we’ll remove her from the payroll for good.”

     “Who was that?” Ember asked.

     “Crowley,” Dean said.  It wouldn’t do to lie to Ember, not now.  “He’s found Abaddon.”

     Ember blanched.  “Dean, do you want me to come along?”

     “No,” Dean said, more gruffly than he intended.  “You’ve already got the angels after you.  For the moment you’re off demonic radar, let’s keep it that way!” 

     He began to gather his belongings, but stopped when he realized that Ember was looking at him strangely.

     “What?” he asked her.

     “You’ve changed,” she said.

     He looked up at her to find her looking back at him with the softest look he’d seen in her eyes in months.  The last time she’d had that look, he realized, she had been looking at Castiel.

     “I try,” he answered softly, standing up. 

     “Dean… good luck,” she said.  “Don’t die.  And, if you do…”

     She moved closer, and closer, and then her lips were on his.  It had been so long, and Dean was immediately ready.  Just as he was about to pull her closer, to tangle his hands in her hair and forget all about Abaddon and the damn First Blade, her lips were gone.  She shot him a shy smile, and left the room.

     Dean swore under his breath, because he so wanted more, and he needed her, and he was so damn angry all the time… but it had just been a “good luck” kiss.

***Ember POV***

June 20, Morning

     Dean had killed Abaddon, but it had been at a price.  When he had returned, Dean appeared angrier, surlier somehow. 

     Ember was more confused than ever.  More and more these days, she felt as though she was somehow supernaturally drawn to Dean.  She felt she could not stop looking at him.  He was more at home at the bunker, of course, than he was at Ember’s home.  He was comfortable enough to walk around in his robe, to occasionally even walk around shirtless when he knew that Krissy was otherwise engaged.  She could swear she could constantly smell his aftershave lingering in rooms it shouldn’t have been in – she knew that Dean knew that the smell had always turned her on.  On weekends, she watched him, hour after hour, practicing fighting with her children, cooking them food, and treating them like a father.  On weekdays, she heard, as if on repeat, the praises that they sang of him.  “Dean let us try to fight him today.  Once I think I almost beat him!” … “Dean showed us the dungeon!” … “Another hunter called today, and Dean let us look up information for the other hunter in the archives.  Have you ever heard of a vetala?”

     On the other hand, Ember also knew that something horrible was brewing inside Dean.  She saw the looks Sam shot at Dean when they both thought Ember wasn’t looking.  She noticed Dean’s obsession with the First Blade, and that it never seemed to be in the same place when Ember saw it, even when the boys had a few days between cases.  Ember hated living in abandoned houses and moving, invisible, from motel to motel, but at this point she almost felt it was a saving grace.  Whenever she was around Dean during her weekends at the bunker, she felt as though a tidal wave was pulling her under, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

     Castiel was as absent as ever, though he was often with her in her thoughts.  There was so much she didn’t understand, and felt confused about.  She had never been the type of woman to seek out men simply for companionship.  So why did she feel so drawn to Dean, when it was Castiel she still desperately loved?  And if Castiel truly no longer wanted her, and the door was truly closed forever on their relationship, why was he trying so hard to stay away from her?  There had been dozens of times he could’ve texted her or called her about something, but instead he had texted or called Dean, or even Sam.  They had parted amicably, and they still had business together… none of it made sense.

     Finally, on June 20, Sam and Dean staggered back into the bunker after a trip to Dixon, Missouri.  Sam was glaring wearily at Dean’s back, and Dean’s head was down and his shoulders were tense.  The First Blade was being held by his side, and he was unconsciously touching its hilt.

     “What the hell happened?” she asked.

     “We’ll tell you later,” Dean snapped.  It was the first time he had snapped at her in months, and for once he had dropped his “best behavior” charade. 

     Ember began to open her mouth again, but caught Sam’s eye and dropped the subject.

     The next day, Dean was finally willing to recount the tale.  He told her about the suicide bombers that Metatron had brainwashed into thinking they were killing Metatron’s followers in the name of Castiel.  He told her about Metatron’s speech to Castiel’s followers, and about how Metatron blamed Castiel for the suicide bombers.  He told her about how Castiel’s followers had asked him to prove his loyalty by killing Dean, and when he wouldn’t, they had all left to join Metatron.

     “Why would they want him to kill you?” Ember asked Dean.  “What have you done to them?”

     Dean threw his hands up in the air out of frustration, then unconsciously palmed the First Blade again.  “Hell, I don’t know.  Angel superiority, I guess.  You know how it is.  We were lucky to get out of there alive.”  But Ember saw, over Dean’s head, a slight twitch of Sam’s eyes, and she knew Dean wasn’t being honest.

     It was Monday afternoon, in the middle of work, before Ember could get ahold of Sam at a time Dean wasn’t around.

     “I’m only telling you this because you deserve to know,” Sam said.  “Please, please don’t tell Dean I told you.  And please don’t blame him for not telling you.  He’s not in his right mind.  He’s-…”

     “I know,” Ember said.  “I’ve seen the way he’s always touching that damn stupid blade.  Cas warned me about it, months ago.  He said-…”

     “Cas is dying, Ember.” Sam said flatly.

     “What?”

     “His stolen grace,” Sam said.  “It’s not a permanent solution.  And when it burns out, that’s the end of Castiel.”

     Ember’s heart stopped, and then suddenly beat faster.  And faster.  And faster.  Her thoughts began to race, and suddenly it felt like she was drowning.

     “Sam, I… I need a few minutes,” she heard herself saying, and hung up the phone.

     So this was why.  This was why he had pushed her toward Dean.  This was why he hadn’t expected to return.  This is why he had shut the last door on their relationship.  This was why he was refusing to call or text.  Suddenly, in a horrible whirlwind, everything made sense.

     Without thinking about it, Ember fell to the floor in a kneel.  “Castiel, I know you can hear me,” Ember prayed.  “I know what’s happened.  Sam and Dean told me you’re dying.  Meet me tomorrow at my house, 6:00 PM.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     At 5:55, Ember trudged, invisible, up to the house she had lived in with her family.  It looked so different now – dark, and unfriendly, and foreboding.  It was dark inside, and Ember hadn’t planned on turning on the lights or the heat.  She also hadn’t planned on not getting off work until late, nor had she planned on it pouring down rain.  Oh well, she thought.  He probably won’t be here anyway.

     Suddenly, though, just as she was wiping off one of the two angel-proofing sigils in the front room, she saw his car pull up.

     “Ember!” he shouted.  He had an umbrella, which was probably necessary – he couldn’t come into the house until she finished erasing the warding.  Ember almost laughed – it made him look silly, somehow, like a character out of Mary Poppins.

     “Castiel?” she said, once again becoming visible as she headed outside.

     When he saw her, his whole face changed.  Where previously he had been openly sad and disgruntled, his face split into a grin at the sight of her.  It was like watching the sun rise.  She knew, in that moment, that she had been right about his motives for their break-up.

     “You didn’t tell me you were dying,” she accused.

     Immediately, his face turned fearful, and guilty, and… pleading.

     “What did it matter?” he asked her sharply.

     She was incensed.  “What did it matter?” she asked, heatedly.  “I was in love with you!  I-…”

     “We shouldn’t have been,” he said calmly.  The rain was pouring now, and he moved closer to the front of the house, just to hear her.  “I never should’ve-... we were lucky you’re still alive.”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah, Metatron, blah, blah, blah,” Ember said.  And look how that turned out, she wanted to add, but didn’t.  At this point, her curiousity and thirst for answers was stronger than her anger at him, and she didn’t want to say something that would send him away again.  “But ending this, ending us, permanently?  Metatron is one thing, but you wouldn’t even let me wait for you.  You shut down all hope, and you passed me off to Dean!  Tell me it’s not because you found out you were dying, Castiel.  Because it’s the only thing that makes sense.”        

     ”Exactly!” Castiel said heatedly.  “I’m dying!  And just because you know about it now, nothing has changed!  I’m still talking to a lot of different-…”     

     “Why didn’t you tell me?” she screamed at the angel.  He was on the porch, now, his umbrella hanging to the side.  There was barely enough room on the small porch for both of them.

     “Because you would never have left!”  Castiel screamed suddenly. 

     There was quiet for a moment.  Then, more calmly, he said, “You would have insisted on staying by my side, in secret, or… something.  Despite Metatron.  Despite the fact that this war will probably kill me, and if it doesn’t, the stolen grace will.  And look what I’ve done.  You’ve had to leave your house, your kids are living in a bunker with Dean, despite the First Blade.  You’re back moving around again, and we both know how much you hated that with the Leviathans.  An angel died protecting you, and that’s even with the decision I made!  And you couldn’t even get into Heaven, because it’s still closed!”

     “Do you know what the last month has been like for me?” Ember screamed back at him.  “I’m worried about you all the damn time, I’m worried about my kids, and Dean is trying to worm his way back into my life!  And the one person I really want to talk to has shut himself off from me completely, and is passing messages through my ex-boyfriend!”

     “You think I wanted to do that?!” he said.  Ember had never seen him like this.  He was wild, suddenly, and she wondered if the stress of the fight was getting to him.  “I loved you!  I still love you!  I’ll always love you!  I just can’t be around you, because your damn voice, and you smell so good, and I can’t stand not being with you, but we can’t!”

     There was a beat.  Once again, for the first time in months, Ember saw the desperate, distraught man she had come to know so well when he was a human.  His eyes were blown wide, and his pupils were round, and water was running down his face, despite the umbrella.  They searched each other’s face for one wild moment.

     At the same time, they launched themselves at each other.  The umbrella fell out of Castiel’s hands, and Ember clung to the front of his trenchcoat, ripping it off of him.  Their mouths attacked one another, and it felt to Ember as though she could finally breathe again.  A second later, Castiel had hoisted her upward and pressed her against the wall in front of her house. 

     Ember wondered briefly if the neighbors could see her, and if anyone cared, and then decided that she didn’t care, because it felt so good to finally be in his arms again.  They were both wet, but somehow it made the friction on their clothes that much better.  She clutched Castiel’s back, and he ground upward into her, a guttural groan escaping his mouth.

     He smelled of rain, and of Castiel, and he had somehow managed to hike her shirt up so that he could reach her bare skin.  He splayed his hands out across her hip, shifting her only slightly while still grinding into her.  With his touch, an orgasm shot through her so quickly that stars exploded in her head, and she went lax in his arms.  He continued to grind into her just slightly, causing tiny little aftershocks that sent chills up and down her spine.

    “Damn you and your stupid angel powers,” she said when she had gotten her voice back again.

     He smirked, and she understood – he had done it simply because he could, and other men couldn’t.  It was his way of laying claim, whether he would admit to it or not.

     “Stay right there, do not leave,” she said, extricating herself quickly from his arms.  He set her gently on the ground, and looked away.  Ember could tell he was both trying to decide whether or not he should leave, and also trying to pretend that he wasn’t still desperate for her.

     Ember didn’t give him time to decide to leave.  She only let go of his hand for a second to open the door to the house.  She used her powers to lift a long screw that had been left on the floor in the front room, then quickly used it to slice up the remaining angel sigil on the wall.  After that, she pulled Castiel inside, using her powers again to shut the door behind them.

     Castiel looked at her then, his eyes blown wide.  He looked thoroughly kissed, but he was clearly terrified of the situation.  “Ember, I…”

     “Cas, shut up,” Ember said.  She kissed him again, and this time, it was more sensual.                                                    

     He responded eagerly, his hands winding themselves up her back.  They kissed deeply for a second, standing in the middle of the forlorn-looking living room. 

     Ember felt Castiel becoming more desperate, more voracious, and she smiled slightly as he slid off her top and bra.  She in turn peeled off his layers of clothes, wet all the way to his perfect chest.  They sighed happily at the skin-to-skin contact, and Castiel wasted no time backing her up onto the room’s single couch and pulling off both pants and panties in the process.

     She reached upward to attempt to pull off his pants, but he danced away.  “It’s been too long,” he said gruffly, burying his face between her thighs.

     She gasped at the onslaught of his tongue, and all too soon she felt an orgasm rip through her again, leaving her shaking and panting for breath.

     Ember had only just regained her breath when she heard Castiel’s gruff voice again.  “Ember… now.”  Without warning, he plunged inside her, filling her to the hilt, and she clung to him as they moved together.  It was a dance that they both knew very well, and one that both had missed desperately in their two months apart.

     It was all too much, and yet not enough, and too soon it was over, and both of them laid piled on the sofa, out of breath.  Castiel regained his breath before Ember did, and he pulled her close to him, kissing her lightly on the forehead.  “I never stopped loving you,” he said.  “I never stopped.  I never will.  You know that, don’t you?”

     “Yes, Castiel,” she whispered.

     “But… it doesn’t change anything.  You must understand that.”

     She did.  She had known this, too.  She looked up at him, her eyes wide, and bit her lip so that the tears wouldn’t fall.  “Cas, just... promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up?”

     “Of course,” he answered.

Chapter Text

***Castiel POV***

June 22, Early Morning

     Castiel knew he shouldn’t be here.  Here was the last place he should be – at the house that had been made weeks ago by Metatron’s camp, with a girl he didn’t deserve.  And yet, he couldn’t leave.  Just a few more hours, he kept telling himself.  A few more hours of watching the way that her hair fell across his arm, and how peaceful she looked as she slept… 

     He wondered, truly, if he would ever be able to force himself to leave this bare-looking living room with the one large couch.  If Ember didn’t want to leave, perhaps he would stay here for eternity.  He had a promise to keep, he thought, to stay until she awoke in the morning, but then he had to leave.  He could still fight against Metatron.  Angel by angel, he could still convince them there was a better way.  He had to. 

     He just had to work up the inner strength.  Truthfully, it had been heartbreaking to leave Ember the first time, and Castiel had no idea how to attempt a second round.

     Suddenly, Ember’s phone rang, and she shot upright.  She answered it sleepily, but as the caller spoke her eyes got wider.  “What do you mean?”  She gasped.  “Oh my God, Gadreel?  The dungeon?!  I’m on my way.”

     What’s going on?” Castiel asked when Ember hung up the phone.

     “When Sam and Dean got back to the bunker, Gadreel showed up, saying he was looking for you.  He couldn’t get into the bunker because of the warding we put there for the kids, but it didn’t matter.  Dean attacked him with the First Blade, and -…”

     “What?” said Castiel sharply.

     “Yeah, and Sam had to hold him back, and Krissy saw what was going on, and came out and helped!”

     “Oh no,” said Castiel.  “The bunker was supposed to be safe for them!”

     “Exactly!” Ember said.  “So they locked Dean in the dungeon, Krissy says.  And Sam went to go look for Gadreel, because Gadreel ran off after Dean knifed him.”

     “I had asked Gadreel if he wanted to switch sides,” Castiel said.  “He killed for Metatron, but overall I think he feels misunderstood.”

     Ember wrinkled her nose.  “I don’t care how he feels, he needs to stay the hell away from my children.”

     “We need to get back there now,” said Castiel.

     And so, the two set off for Lebanon, Kansas, both of them in Castiel’s car.

***Ember POV***

June 22, Dawn

     Ember and Castiel arrived approximately the same time as Sam showed up with Gadreel.  Gadreel was hurt badly, visibly bleeding from the chest.  Castiel moved immediately to heal him.

     “Don’t!” Gadreel said.  “Your grace!”

     But Castiel ignored him and, with an apologetic look toward Ember, healed him anyway.

     “Thank you,” the other angel said.

     “We should talk somewhere safer,” Castiel answered.  “Can you erase the angel warding?  Just in the front room.”

     Upon coming inside, however, all four of them smelled sulfur immediately.  “I tried to stop them!” Krissy said, appearing suddenly in the main room of the bunker.  “But neither of them listened.”

     Over the next few minutes, the group of angels, men, and teenagers was able to put together that Dean had summoned Crowley to help him break out of the dungeon and go after Metatron.

     “He and Crowley have been bromancing over the Blade ever since Dean got the Mark.”

     “Great,” Ember rolled her eyes.  “Let’s add that to the list of things he didn’t tell me.”

     The group ignored her.  “The Mark?” Gadreel asked.

     “The Mark of Cain,” Castiel clarified.

     “So that's what Dean cut me with -- the First Blade.  In a way, that could be useful,” said Gadreel.

     “Slow down,” said Krissy.  “What’s the Mark of Cain?”

     “I’ll explain everything to you, Kris, just give me a few minutes,” Ember told them.  “Go to your room for now, and in a few minutes I promise I’ll come get you.”

     “But-…” Krissy started, but Ember gave her a look, and she begrudgingly headed for her room.  Ember made a mental note to thank her for helping hold back Dean, and also soothe over her feelings about the incident with Crowley – later, perhaps, when this conversation was over.

     “Metatron is more powerful than ever, but if Dean has the First Blade and the mark, that might give us our best chance,” Gadreel was saying.

     “You're joking, right?” Sam asked angrily.  “An hour ago, we were ready to throw Dean into a padded cell, and now you say he's our best chance?”

     “Hear him out, Sam,” Castiel said, and Ember felt a flash of annoyance toward Cas.  She didn’t want anything to do with this angel, and she definitely didn’t like that he was in the bunker.

     Sam seemed to feel similarly.  “Oh, right. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. Uh, sorry I'm a little less than eager to hear that our best chance is -- is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark. This is not a bomb we're talking about. This is my brother.”

     “And your brother would not be in this alone,” Gadreel countered.  “We can help.”

     “How?” asked Sam and Ember.

     “I believe Metatron has found a way to tap into the Angel tablet, harnessing its power to give him powers equivalent to --…”

     “God, right?” Sam filled in.  “I mean, that's what this is all about, isn't it? Metatron wants to be God.”

     Gadreel nodded.

     “Great, well, that basically makes him unstoppable,” said Sam.

     “Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the tablet,” said Gadreel.  “That would make him just an ordinary Angel.”

     “Where's the tablet?” asked Castiel.

     “Metatron's office,” said Gadreel.

     “In Heaven?” asked Ember.

     “I can get us to the door,” Gadreel answered.

     “And then what?”  asked Ember.  “Does anybody else think that this plan is most likely not going to work?”

     “Why would they let you in?” asked Sam.  “If Metatron's number two shows up with Heaven's most wanted…” he shook his head hopelessly.

     “Sam, we have to try,” answered Castiel.

***Ember POV***

June 23, Noon

     The next day, Crowley and Dean found Sam and Ember while looking for clues of Metatron’s location.  As Ember watched Dean get out of the Impala, she was struck immediately with how attractive he was, how hot he was, how much she wanted him-

     What the hell is wrong with me? Ember asked herself.  She had had sex with Castiel the night before last, and there was literally no appropriate reason for her to be having these thoughts.  Granted, she had been growing closer to Dean – again – for two months now, but this was way over the top.  She wanted to be with Castiel, regardless of whether or not it was requited. 

     “Sam, whatever kind of intervention you think this is, trust me, it ain't.  I'm not gonna explain myself to you,” Dean said.

     “Yeah, I sort of got that.  I just thought you might like to know that while you two have been playing, uh, odd couple, your real friends, like Cas, like the angel you stabbed, Gadreel --they're out there right now risking their asses to help you win this fight.”

    “What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked.  He was sexy when he was mad… what the hell?

     “A fight, I might add, you made that much more complicated when you decided to stab the one angel who could actually get us to Metatron,” Sam answered.

     “You mean the angel that took you for a joy ride?”  Dean asked.  “The angel that slaughtered Kevin?  That angel?”  He was right, Ember thought.  Why were they working with Gadreel?  Gadreel had betrayed Sam.  Dean was right, he needed to die.

     What the hell?  Another voice asked.  Gadreel is with Castiel.  You remember, Castiel?  You slept together two nights ago?  Castiel and Gadreel are trying to break open Heaven.  Dean has been hanging out with Crowley… Dean…

     “Who you let in the front door in the first place,” Sam said.  “You tricked me, Dean.  And now I'm the one who wakes up in the middle of the night seeing my hands killing Kevin, not you.  So, please, when you say you don't want to explain anything to me, don't.  I get it.  And I also get that Metatron has to go.  And I know you're our best shot to do that.”

     “I'm gonna take my shot, for better or worse,” Dean said.  Go Dean, Go!

     “I know,” Sam said.

     “No matter the consequences,” Dean said.  What consequences?

     “I know,” Sam said again.  “But if this is it, we're gonna do it together.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     That evening, at the first possible opportunity, Ember pulled Sam aside.  Dean was getting gas at a gas station, and Ember had texted Sam that she needed a moment alone with him.

     “What’s going on?” Sam asked her.

     “Something’s wrong with me,” she said immediately.

     “What are you talking about?”

     “Ever since Dean got the First Blade, it’s like… we’ve been growing… closer.”

     “Well, that’s good, right?  I mean, I’m probably not supposed to say, but he’s wanted you-…”

     “No, Sam, listen, it’s not like that!” Ember said.  “I’m in love with Castiel!  I keep thinking about Dean all the time, but when my head is clear, then I only think about Castiel-…”

     “Ember, you’re my best friend, but do you really think now is the time-…”

     Ember realized she wasn’t explaining herself properly.  “Sam, that’s not it!” 

     She was so flustered, and she had even begun to cry.  She could tell by the look on Sam’s face that he was alarmed, suddenly.  “Remember what it was like with Famine?  How everybody was going crazy with… hunger, for… for whatever?”

     “You’re saying that’s how it is with you and Dean, and Cas?”

     “No,” Ember said, calming some.  “Just Dean.”

     Sam looked surprised.  “I thought at first I was just growing closer to him because he was around more, and he was trying to win me back, and he was taking care of the kids.  But ever since he killed Abaddon, it’s gotten worse.  And then, over the past few hours, it’s been… unbearable.  Like, it feels like when Famine was around, like he’s all I can think about.  And I can’t help but think – didn’t he kill that reaper since I saw him last?  Tessa?  That’s the only thing that’s changed?”

     “I don’t understand,” Sam said, his eyebrows furrowing.  “Are you saying that you’re more… attracted to him the more people he kills?”

     “The more people he kills with the First Blade,” Ember said, nodding, another frightened tear escaping her eye.  “I don’t understand it either, but it’s the only thing that fits.”

     “How does that fit?” asked Sam.

     Ember shrugged.  “Half-demon,” she reminded him.  “We don’t know what my magic does, not entirely, or even its abilities.”

     “So…” Sam looked at Ember and spread his hands wide, as if asking, “What do you want me to do about it?”

     “I don’t know, Sam, just… keep me from jumping his bones, okay?  Until we figure out what the hell is going on!”

     It was at that moment that Dean came into the gas station to pay for his gas.  “Are you two ready to go, then?  What’s the hold-up?”

     Ember shot Sam a terrified look as her thoughts immediately returned to Dean, but there was no time to say anything else.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Finally, they had found Metatron.  “He’s up there,” Sam told Dean.  “About a mile up the road.  There’s a homeless encampment. The way the folks are talking, he's got them convinced he's some kind of new Jesus or something.”

     Dean nodded.  “You good?” Sam asked.

     Ember nodded, though she was only halfway listening.  Dean…

     “Yeah, I'm good,” Dean said.

     Sam reached over and picked up the First Blade, handing it to Dean in silence.

     “Listen, Sammy, about, um, you know, the last couple of months…” Dean began.

     “I know,” Sam said.  “So, before we find something else to fight about… Are you ready to gut this bitch?”

     He turned to pick up his bag, but as he turned around once more to face Dean, Dean punched him, knocking him out cold.

     Ember woke up as if out of a stupor.  “Dean!” she screamed. 

     Then she saw his fist heading for her face as well, and then she saw no more.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     Ember woke up to find large hands picking her up.  “Ember,” said Sam softly.

     “Wha!” Ember said, awakening immediately and with a start.  “Sam!” she said, looking up into his face. 

     Something was wrong.  His face was shining with tears.  And then she saw it.  In the passenger seat of the Impala sat a lifeless Dean.  His body was beaten and bruised, and in his chest was a large, gaping wound.  She screamed, and began sobbing.  The world was breaking open.  Everything, everything was ending.  Ember had never felt pain like this – not when she was younger, not when Carl died, not when she and Dean broke up, not even when Castiel dumped her.  It was pure and total agony, both physical and mental.

     She refused to be moved from his side, even when they returned to the bunker, and Sam went to have a drink.

     She was there, therefore, when Crowley appeared.  For the first time in hours, she looked away from Dean.  “You got him into this mess.  Now make it right,” she spat venomously.

     “What do you think I’m trying to do?” he said, shrugging. 

     Crowley turned to Dean, who still lay lifeless, and began to talk.  “Sam, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak.  Make a deal, bring him back.  It's exactly what I was talking about, isn't it?  It's all become so... expected.  You have to believe me.  When I suggested you take on the Mark of Cain, I didn't know this was going to happen.  Not really.”

     “Make it right, Crowley,” Ember spat at him again. 

     “I mean, I might not have told Dean the entire truth,” Crowley said, turning toward Ember.  “But I never lied. That's important. It's fundamental.  But...there is one story about Cain that I might have... forgotten to tell him.”  Crowley paused dramatically.  “Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be.  So he took his own life with the Blade.  He died.  Except, as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go.  You can understand why I never spoke of this.  Why set hearts aflutter at mere speculation?”

     Some inkling from long ago stirred, and Ember felt distantly that she should care about his words.  But nothing mattered, now, except that Dean was dead, and Crowley hadn’t moved to fix it…

     “It wasn't until Dean summoned me... No, it wasn't truly until he left that cheeseburger uneaten...that I began to let myself believe.  Maybe miracles do come true.”  He looked at Ember closely then, as if he were studying her, and Ember felt a chill go down her spine, though she wasn’t sure why.  “And two, for the price of one!” he continued.  “Old magic, I think.  A demon blood bond.  When both have demon ties, and one falls, so shall its mate.  An old conversion method… antiquated, really, but not unheard of.”

     Ember could feel that part of her was terrified – truly terrified, as though something terrible was about to happen.  But surely it already had happened, because Dean was dead…

     Crowley turned back to Dean.  “Listen to me, Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now -- it's not death. It's life -- a new kind of life.  Open your eyes, Dean.  See what I see.  Feel what I feel.  And let's go take a howl at that moon,” Crowley said.  He placed the First Blade in Dean’s hands.

     The moment the First Blade touched Dean’s hands, Ember stopped caring about everything.  She stopped caring that Castiel had overthrown Metatron, and that the door to Heaven could be used by all angels again.  She didn’t care that the ghosts in the veil were once more able to get to Heaven.  She didn’t care about Josephine getting ready for college, or Aidan getting ready for his senior year, or Krissy at the bunker.  She didn’t care about Sam, or even, miraculously, about Castiel, the man she loved. 

     And she didn’t care about anything for a long time.

Chapter Text

***Sam POV***

July 15, Evening

     “This was a bad idea,” Castiel told Sam.  “How could you do this?”

     Sam hung his head.  He had felt guilt before – after Jessica died, and after he’d been soulless.  This was different, though – this, he had done with full knowledge and intent.  Still, he steeled himself for his answer.  “He’s my brother, Cas, and she’s my best friend.  There’s nothing I wouldn’t do.  Besides, don’t you want him back?  Don’t you love her?”

     “That’s neither here nor there,” Castiel said steadily, refusing to be derailed.  It was an awful thing to do, Sam.”

     “I didn’t force him into it,” Sam said with clenched teeth.  “Shut up, here he comes.”

     A stooped, elderly man with a cane walked slowly forward through the woods.  They watched in silence as he buried a small box beneath the dirt in the crossroads.  Sam held his breath, and for a beat nothing happened.

     “Barry Fox,” said a young African-American woman.  “You’re my kind of customer.”  She flashed her red eyes.

     Sam walked out of the bushes, Castiel tagging along behind him.  The elderly man looked surprised, his eyes narrowing slightly; the demon did not.

     “Winchester,” the demon said.  “We were wondering when we’d be seeing you.  That’s why they sent me.”

     “Who are you?” asked Sam, narrowing his eyes at the new demon.

     “Nefertiti,” she said.  “Queen of the Crossroads.  How very not nice to meet you.  I assume there’s a Devil’s Trap for me, under all the dirt?”  She used her foot to scrape away at some of the dirt, revealing bright orange spray paint lines of the Devil’s trap Sam had spent the past hour meticulously covering.

     “Where’s my brother?” Sam said, walking up to the edge of the Devil’s Trap.  “You tell me, you go free.  You don’t…”  Sam held up the demon knife to demonstrate.

     “Hey, young man, what’s up?” Barry Fox said.  “You said to come at midnight and bury the box-…”

     “Just leave,” Sam told Barry, not looking at him.

     “But you said-…”

     “Winchester here needed someone else to summon me,” Nefertiti explained.  “Demons don’t show up anymore for Winchesters.  The body count got too high.”  She turned to Sam.  “Still, I never really thought you would actually stoop so low, Sam Winchester.  Did you really talk Barry over there into selling his soul?”

     Sam was not as skilled as Dean was in hiding his feelings in front of demons, and couldn’t help the guilty look that crossed his features. 

     The demon smiled.  “What’s the matter, Sam Winchester?  Trouble in paradise?  What could possibly make a Winchester break bad?”  She smiled a smile that did not reach her eyes, and chilled Sam’s blood. 

     “Where is my brother?!!?” Sam asked again, grabbing the demon by the arm.  He sliced, and Nefertiti cried out as a red gash appeared on her arm.

     “Young man!” Barry screamed from across the Devil’s Trap.  “I thought-…”

     “Shut up, Barry!” Sam yelled again, still not looking at the older man.

     “WHERE’S MY BROTHER?!?!” Sam asked again, holding the knife out in front of Nefertiti’s face.

     “I don’t know where your brother is,” Nefertiti said silkily.  Sam had the impression that she wasn’t even scared, which made him even angrier.  “Nor would I tell you if I knew.”

     Sam stabbed into Nefertiti’s other arm, and she cried out again, but this time Sam didn’t stop – he slid a line from her elbow all the way to her wrist.

     When he was done, Nefertiti grinned again, and leaned closer, her arm dripping blood.  “You Winchesters sure aren’t living up to the legend,” she said silkily.  “Can’t even find your own brother?”  Then, to Sam’s amazement, and pure shock, she took his left arm and threw him, with the strength of a bull, out of the Devil’s Trap.  Her aim was true, and she knocked over Castiel, who was in Sam’s path.  Sam felt his shoulder bone disconnect from his socket, and heard a large crack.  Out of the corner of his eye, he realized with a sinking stomach that Barry’s foot was busy erasing his side of the Devil’s Trap.  Then a horrible pain pierced his chest, and Sam looked down to find that a knife had impaled him to the hilt.  Then he knew no more.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     When Sam awoke, it was light outside.  The first thing he noticed was that his shoulder hurt, horribly. 

     The second thing he noticed was that his chest didn’t hurt.  Shouldn’t he be dead?  He tried to move, and found that sitting up caused horrible pain in his shoulder, and only a dull ache in his chest. 

     When he sat up, he saw, to his horror, Castiel, lying on his side, clearly passed out as well.  “Cas!” Sam exclaimed, jumping up.  Every movement of his shoulder gave him shooting pains, but he managed to make it over to Castiel.  He tapped Castiel on the shoulder with his good arm, and nearly collapsed with relief when Castiel gave a small grunt.

     Sam shouted the angels’ name a few more times, and smacked him lightly in the face.  Finally, Castiel’s eyes opened slightly, and he smiled.  “Sam,” he said softly.

     “Cas, are you okay?” Sam asked.  “What happened?”

     “I healed you,” the angel said softly.  He gave a couple of coughs.

     Sam had forgotten about his shoulder for a second, and paid for his lapse in memory when pain shot down his shoulder again as he attempted to take his shirt off to look at his chest.

     Castiel winced.  “I’m sorry about that,” he said, his voice still barely a whisper.  “I’m... my grace is failing.  I had to… prioritize.”  Castiel nodded very slightly at Sam’s chest.

     Managing to get his shirt open, Sam saw that underneath the bloody clothing was a somewhat raw, red patch of skin, but otherwise he was healed.

     “What happened after I passed out?” Sam asked.

     “I’m not sure,” Castiel said.  “I healed you.  That wound was right to your heart.  You had only seconds.  I… I think I passed out myself, after that.”  Castiel then went into a fit of coughing.

     Sam looked at the angel.  “I suppose they did the deal after that,” he told Castiel.  “Maybe they both thought we were dead.”

     Castiel nodded, his body still wracked with coughs.  Guilt overtook Sam again.  Remembering to use the correct arm this time, he hoisted himself off of the ground and offered his good arm to the angel.  “Let’s go home, Cas.”

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     An hour later, Castiel finally spoke.  “I’m sorry I didn’t heal your shoulder, Sam.  I can heal it now, if you’d like.”

     Sam glanced at his shoulder, which seemed to be sticking out the wrong way.  “Every time you heal someone, your grace fails a little more, doesn’t it?” he asked the angel sharply.

     Castiel took a long time to answer, but finally he said, “Yes.”

     Sam was silent for a second.  “My shoulder will heal on its own,” he said.  “I’ll… I’ll go to a doctor.”  The idea seemed foreign to him, but the angel appeared more guilty than surprised.

     “I’m sorry, Sam,” Castiel said again.

     An hour later, Castiel spoke again.  “I don’t have much time left,” he said.

     “I know,” Sam told him.  “I’m… I’m sorry.”  In the three hours since Castiel had healed him, Castiel had yet to stop coughing.  At one point, Sam was certain that Castiel had coughed up blood. 

     “I would heal you again, if you would let me,” said Castiel.

     “I won’t,” Sam said.

     Castiel was silent for awhile.  Then he said, “I don’t want you to watch me die, Sam.”

     “What?” asked Sam in surprise.

     “Please understand, if you find any leads on Dean and Ember, I need to know,” Castiel said.  “Please, please tell me.  I’ll continue to look around, as well.”  He paused.  “But… I don’t want you to watch me die.  Ember… she left me a key to the house we used to live in, with the children.  I should like to die there, in peace.”

     Sam narrowed his eyes, looking sharply at Castiel in the passenger seat.  “What about the children?” he asked the angel sharply.  “They like having you at the bunker.  They’ll never forgive me if I come back without you.”

     Castiel shook his head.  “They’d spend more time caring for me, and worrying about me, if I came back to the bunker,” he said.  “They’ve got enough to worry about as it is.  And it’s… what Ember would want.  For them.  They’ve seen enough in their lives.”

     Sam looked at the angel again, and was stunned at the emotion showing in his eyes.  “You really loved her, didn’t you?” he asked.

     Castiel nodded once.

     “What if she came back?” Sam asked.  “And she wanted you back?  Would you…”

     “I’m dying, Sam,” Castiel said, not looking at him.  “What is there to be gained by drawing it out?”

     Sam was silent.  It occurred to him that if he were Dean, he would have come up with some way to persuade Castiel to search for a way to keep living.  Sam had learned from Gadreel, though, that that wasn’t always what was best.  After everything he had done for them, they owed Castiel that much.

     Plus, what right did he have to attempt to convince Castiel of how to live his life?  Sam had convinced a man to sell his soul, despite Castiel’s misgivings, despite what he knew was right.  And he’d do it again.  He was already planning to try again.    

***Ember POV***

July 27, Afternoon

     The good-looking man – the one with the longish brown hair – was too handsy.  Nobody – nobody but Dean, anyway – touched Ember until she said so.  Granted, that had been the general idea, bringing him back to her room.  Still, Ember liked a bit of foreplay.  Throwing her down on the bed and attempting to have his way with her was not something Ember appreciated in sexual partners she had just met.

     “Too handsy!” Ember screamed, using her powers to propel the man onto the ceiling.  He crashed there with a sickening thud, then rebounded down onto Ember’s bed, unconscious.  Ember stared at him for a second, then rolled her eyes and got up to light a cigarette. 

     Ember was smoking peacefully two minutes later when Dean opened the door.  He looked at the man on the bed, narrowed his eyes, and looked back at Ember.  “What happened to him?”

     “Too handsy too quickly,” Ember said.

     Dean started toward the man.  “Don’t bother,” Ember said, putting her cigarette out on the dresser next to the bed.  “I already knocked him out I think.”

     Dean said nothing, but stopped his progress toward the unconscious man on the bed.  “Could’ve asked me if you wanted a fuck.”

     “’Tried to,” Ember said, still not looking at Dean.  “You were banging the blond waitress again, so I had to go for other options.”

     “Only because you were nowhere to be found,” Dean shot back at her.

     “’’Not my job to be around every time you wanna bang,” Ember said, looking at him finally.  “Somebody has to do the robbing around here.  Can’t afford these 5-star hotels on your salary.”  It echoed something she had said to him, once, back when they both cared.  She looked him up and down.  “Free now, though, if you’re interested.”  She used her powers to roll the unconscious man onto the floor, making the point that the bed was unoccupied.  He hit the floor with a soft thud, which both demons ignored.

     He looked her up and down, and they collided in a tangle of limbs and power. 

***Castiel POV***

August 7, Day

     Castiel felt horrible.  And miserable.  All he wanted to do was sleep.  He had heard of human sickness before, but he was starting to wonder how sick he would get before he actually died.

     The phone on his night stand began to ring.  He was annoyed with it, until he saw that it was Sam.  The younger Winchester brother never called just to talk, so there must be some sort of news.  “Sam.  Hello,” he said.

     “I think I might have found something,” Sam said.

     “Oh good, good,” said Castiel.  Then a painful cough cut off his ability to speak.  He really needed to get to the drug store and ingest some of this cough medicine the kids kept telling him about when they called him.  He doubted it would do much good, but perhaps in larger quantities it might at least begin to help.  It certainly couldn’t make things worse.

     “Cas? You there?” Sam asked.

     “It's okay, I'm...um...I'm okay. Go...go on.”  He continued to cough.

     “Alright, get this,” said Sam.  “A "John Doe" who was murdered in Wisconsin a week ago turns out to be this guy named Drew Nealy who went missing from a religious order in Northern Ohio...okay?”

     Castiel remembered happier times, when he would’ve been better at following that conversation.  “Yeah?”

     “Now, Drew Nealy had been missing for 3 years,” Sam continued.  “Killed his wife, his kids...just disappeared.  I know it's thin, but...if this guy was possessed...”

     “That would make him the first-…” but he was cut off by more coughing.

     “The first lead, the first anything we've seen in...”  Sam trailed off, and Castiel continued to cough.

     “Sorry,” said Castiel.

     “Actually...you know what...now that I'm looking at this more I think I uh...I think I jumped the gun here, buddy.”

     Castiel’s heart sank.  Finally, finally there was news, and he was completely worthless.  A damn worthless angel. “No, Sam, you said it was something.”

     “Yeah...uh...it's...it's not.  I was wrong, sorry.”

     “I can help,” Castiel protested.

     “Cas...we tried that,” Sam said.

     “Sam...you can't blame what that demon did to your shoulder on me; you were out of...”  He had started to say out of line, but perhaps this wasn’t the time.

     “I'm not, I'm not blaming anything on you.  What happened, happened, and...you need to be worrying about yourself. I really shouldn't have bothered you.”

     “How are you, Sam?” Castiel asked, still trying to get information out of the younger Winchester.

     “Good. I'm alright.  I'm just...tired, you know.  Be better when we get them back...after...after I kick his butt.”

     “I miss them,” said Castiel solemnly.

     “Yeah,” said Sam.  “At least they’re together.”

     Castiel was silent for a second.  He didn’t share the same relief over this.  “Why would they just disappear?” he asked finally.

     “Who said they had a choice?” asked Sam.

     Castiel shook his head, setting off a coughing fit.  When he had recovered, he said, “It still makes no sense.”

     “And Heaven couldn’t give you any clues?” Sam asked.

     “I told you, all of the oldest resources and books in Heaven have been ransacked and stolen,” Castiel said.  “Besides, this is Hell lore.  Crowley would know, if anyone.”

     “Yeah, well, Crowley is the one that got Dean mixed up in this crap in the first place,” Sam reminded Castiel.

Chapter Text

***Castiel POV***

August 9, Daytime

     The next few days were highly eventful for Castiel.  Hannah, an angel who had been vital to overthrowing Metatron, showed up asking for Castiel’s help tracking down a couple of stray angels.  It had been a disaster, but Castiel felt as though Hannah was at least starting to see why humans were so special.

     When his phone rang again and it was Sam, he looked at it with trepidation.

     “You need to get to Beulah, North Dakota – now,” Sam said when he finally answered.

     “I do?”

     “Yes.  Ember and Dean were there, with Crowley.  We’ve got to pick up their trail.”

     “Good.  Great,” said Castiel.  He was happy there was news about Dean and Ember, but he was also so tired.  Then there was Hannah, and explaining to her about Ember and Dean was going to add another complication.

     “Yeah, um...not so much. Cas...  Dean’s a demon.  And if Ember is with him I think… I think they both must be.”

     Castiel’s breath seemed stolen from him.  He thought back to Ember’s pride in her ability to control her demon side.  “She’ll be really upset about the 13 humans she killed, and how close she got to going ‘dark side’”…  “Castiel, I may be a half-demon, but I’m pretty sure I’m more righteous than you today...”  Sam had told him that Ember was influenced by the Mark’s influence on Dean, but he still didn’t understand how Dean had gone from apparently dead to being a demon.  “Dean's a demon?  How?”

     “The Mark,” said Sam.  “I-I guess it --it just messed him up.  I don't know.”

     “That is a vast understatement,” said Castiel.

     “Right.  Now, Cas, listen.  I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an ‘all hands on deck’ situation here, so...”

     Castiel understood.  “So... I'll meet you there.”

***Dean POV***

August 9, Evening

     Dean walked up to the large house, thinking over his conversation with Crowley.  “The fact is...you need to kill now.  Not want to, not choose to --need to.  Face it, darling.  You're an addict.  Death is your drug.  And you're gonna spend the rest of your life chasing that dragon.  I'm here to facilitate.  Look...You're going to snap eventually.  The anger, the bloodlust is gonna build up in you until you can't take it anymore, and then...  So, the question is, do you want to spike a civilian or someone who has it coming?  Like...Mindy Morris.  Caring mother...  Loving wife... Cheating trollop.  After her husband, Lester, discovered Mindy's liaison amoureuse, heated words were exchanged.  In the end, Mindy wanted a divorce...  And 50% of everything.  But Lester…”

     Lester wanted Mindy dead, and he was willing to sell his soul for it.  Sam had talked Lester into it when he had been fishing for information from crossroads demons, Dean knew.  Lester, and Barry, too. 

     The part of Dean that was not yet full demon had a lot of reservations about this.  He had never killed an innocent before, not on purpose.  The demon part of Dean, however – the part that held sway over Ember – didn’t really care.

     Ember seemed to have no reservations about it.  Dean wondered at how well she had taken to her new demonic nature, given how hard she had fought against it before.  He supposed it was one of the things that he used to care about, before they both “broke bad.”  The thought made him smile.  Freedom.

     Suddenly Dean noticed a silver car pulling up to the house.  What the hell was Lester doing here?  Was he that much of an idiot, to show up while his wife was supposed to be killed?  Well, he did sell his soul…

     “Hey!  Hey!” Lester yelled as Dean slid into his car.

     “Let me guess -- Lester?” Dean asked.

     “I...Who are you?”

     Dean dropped his disguise and allowed his normal demon eyes to show.  “Who do you think?”

     Lester reacted with surprise.  “Whoa.  Ohh!”

     “Ohh,” Dean mocked.  “What the hell are you doing here, man?”

     “Well, my contact...  Yeah, he, uh -- he told me that, uh, this was happening, so I just wanted to come down and make sure it gets done right.”

     Truly, this man was an idiot.  “Ah.  'Cause you're the expert, huh?  Listen --and this is murder 101 --when you hire someone to kill your wife, you don't want to be around when the hit goes down.  It's called an alibi.”

     “Yeah, I know what an alibi is. I watch ‘Franklin & Bash’.”

     Seriously?  “Super.  Listen, you sold your soul for this crap, so –…“

     “It's not crap,” Lester replied, tearing up.  “It's my life.  And she flushed it down the toilet.”

     Dean’s patience was waning.  “Les... I'm gonna say something to you.  I need you to really listen to me.  You're a loser.  Your lady in there -- she's a North Dakota 8.  You're a 4 1/2, Max.  Now, I don't blame her for stepping out -- especially if she found you were messing around first.”

     “No.  Oh, no.  I-I wasn't...  Uh -- How do you know?” Lester asked.

     Now Dean’s patience was definitely waning.  “Well, you just got that, uh, pervy, ‘I'd do anything to nail my secretary’ look.”

     “Oh. No.  T-that -- it's different when guys do it,” Lester replied.

     Ember would have already stabbed this idiot.  Dean wanted to get on with this.  “Really?”

     “Yeah. It's called ‘science,’” Lester said, as though this was obvious.

     “Oh.”  Dean could be at the bar getting laid right now.  If Ember wasn’t available, there were other options.  All demons, no commitments.  That’s what they’d wanted.

     “Men aren't built for monogamy... because of evolution.  We're -- we're -- we're programmed, you know, to --to spread our seed.”

     Dean punched him.

     “Ohh!  Ow!”

     “Like I said -- loser, with a capital ‘L,’ rhymes with ‘you suck,’” said Dean.

     “Yeah, well, you're a punk-ass demon!  And you work for me now.  So get in there and do your job, you freak!”  Dean’s face turned icy.  He could feel his anger affecting the Mark.

     “And what are you gonna do?  You gonna watch, huh?  Is that what you like to do, Lester?  Watch?  Well, watch this.”  And he sunk the blade into the man’s chest.

---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---SPN---

     “Dean! How did it go?” Crowley asked.

     Dean had barely noticed Crowley; his eyes immediately strayed to Ember’s.  Her face was impassive, as was usual these days, but she gave a slight smile that he recognized as being only for him.

     “Fine.  Fine.  Uh...  He's dead, and you're right --I-I feel amazing.”  Ember smirked at him.

     “He?”

     “Uh, Lester.”

     “The client?  You killed the client?”  Crowley seemed angry.  Dean didn’t care.  Ember’s smirk was growing wider.

     “Does it matter?  He was a douche.  Now he's a dead douche.”

     “Of course it matters!  The deal was one dead wife for one soul.  The wife's not dead, I don't get the soul.  It's math.”

     Ember slipped her hand into Dean’s and gave him a smile.  He had the impression that she was particularly pleased that he had disobeyed Crowley, more than anything else. 

     “Well...  There you go,” said Dean.

     “Hey!  Don't turn your back on me!” yelled Crowley. 

     Dean turned around and sent Crowley sprawling on the floor.  Dean and Ember both laughed.

     “What do you think you're doing?” Crowley asked, getting up.

     “Oh, whatever I want,” Dean said.

     Ember nodded at Dean.  “We don’t have to do your bidding,” she said to Crowley.  “Thanks for showing us the ropes.  We’ll take it from here.  We’re Team Free Will, you know.”  She gave a twisted smile that didn’t meet her eyes.  “We do what we want.”

     “Really?  Because I think you don't know what you want,” Crowley yelled at them.  “Tell me, -- what are you?  A demon?   If so, why isn't Lester's wife dead?  Why isn’t that child dead?”  He looked at Ember in her turn.  “Did you feel sorry for them?  So maybe you're human.  Except you have those pretty black peepers and you're working alongside me.  Why don't you do us all a great big favor and PICK A BLOODY SIDE?!”

     “Or what?” Dean snapped.  “Hmm?  Go ahead.  Make a move.  See how it ends.  I ain't your friggin' bestie, and I ain't taking orders from you.  When I need to kill, I'll call.  Until then, stay out of my way.”

     “Stop looking at me like you own me,” Ember added to Crowley.  “You did us a favor, I’m not gonna lie.  It’s about time I stretched my legs a little bit.  But I’m not having sex with you, no matter what meat suit you crawl into.”

     Dean smirked.  “Why not, you fuck everything else,” said Crowley.

     Ember wasn’t bothered.  “I fuck who I want, when I want, how I want,” she said.

     “Fine. It's over,” Crowley snapped.  “What can I say?  Crazy ones -- well, they're good for a fling, but they're not relationship material.”

     “Are you done?” asked Dean. 

     “We're done.  You know what, Dean?  It's not me.  It's you.”

***Sam POV***

     Sam was having a terrible week.  He had been caught, tortured, escaped, and his brother was a demon.  He was just leaving the motel when he heard the voice of the person he hated most in the world.

     “Hello, Bullwinkle.  You miss me?”

     “So much,” Sam said sarcastically.

     “You're here for Dean.  I'm here to give him to you,” said Crowley.

     Sam was confused.  “What?”

     “The little prat's bad for business.  He's...uncontrollable.  Must be the Mark.  Anyway, Dean's your problem now -- again, forever.”

     Sam was desperate.  What was Crowley playing at?  Was this another trick to get Sam off of their trail?  “Then where is he?” Sam shouted.

     “First, there's the small matter of my finder's fee.”

     “What?”

     “There’s a reason I picked Squirrel over you, you know?  I swear, all that muscle must be crowding out your brain.”  Crowley spoke very slow now.  “I can give you.  Squirrel.  And Squirrel’s Half-Demon Pet.  For the price of.  The First Blade.”

     “Why would you do that?” Sam said, immediately suspecting something.

     “Do you know how annoying your brother is?” Crowley explained, rolling his eyes.  “I mean, sometimes he’s almost worse than you, Moose.  And he’s a terrible singer, honestly.”

     Sam gave Crowley an odd look, but he was desperate; he didn’t have the luxury of wondering whether or not this was a trap.

     “Fine.  You can have the First Blade, when I have Dean and Ember.”

     “Excellent.  Here’s the address.”  And Crowley made to disappear.

     “Wait!” Sam shouted.

     Crowley shot Sam an annoyed look.  “Yes, Moose?”

     “What happened?  Why are they demons?”

     Crowley smirked.  “What, Feathers can’t help you out with that one?  Did all the lore in Heaven get smited during the Civil Wars?”

     Sam narrowed his eyes.  He wished Castiel was with him, but he was still on the way.  “I can’t help you if I don’t know what I’m facing.”

     “Fair point,” Crowley said, and took a lean against the car.  “The Mark of Cain won’t let go of your brother,” he said simply.  “When he died, it turned him into a Knight of Hell.  Like Cain.”

     Sam was shocked.  “A Knight of – like Abaddon?”

     “And equally as much of a pain in my buttocks, as it turned out,” said Crowley, and he made to leave again.

     “What about Ember?” Sam asked.

     Crowley gave Sam a superior smile, meant to show his pride that he had information Sam didn’t.  “Demon Blood Bond,” he said.

     Sam continued to narrow his eyes at Crowley, who was enjoying holding the information over Sam’s head.  “A failsafe put in place by Lucifer,” he explained finally.  “Love is powerful.  I’ve no use for it myself, but weaker people…” Crowley shook his head, as though to brush off a bad memory.  “It swayed Cain to stop killing.  You knew that already.”

     “And?” Sam said, sensing more to the story. 

     “Rumor is that Lucifer had no power over the pure and the good.  But he did have power over demon-kind.  He didn’t want to lose souls to love, like he ultimately did with Cain.”  Crowley spoke, as if reciting from an old tome.  When two souls have been bonded, if both with demon blood, the demon blood shall rule.”

     Crowley seemed to consider a moment, and finally said, ”No point in keeping it a secret; Dean knows it all anyway, and we both know you know how to cure demons.”  He paused a second for dramatic effect, then said, “They used it as a conversion method, for a long time.  Make a human fall in love with you, add a little demon blood…”  He shrugged, then smiled again, maliciously.  “Why do you think your addiction to the blood was so strong?  It was Lucifer’s plan for you and Ruby, I think, if she had survived.”

     Sam was horrified.  He shouldn’t have been – the Apocalypse had been years ago, and so much had happened since then, but it still took him several seconds to collect his thoughts.

     “Don’t you want to know how to break the bond?” Crowley asked finally, feigning innocence.

     “You’re not going to help, I suppose?” Sam snapped at him.

     “What do you think I’m doing?” Crowley said.

     “Fine,” Sam said between clenched teeth.  “How do you break the bond?”

     “You need both of their blood, and the member whose demonic nature initiated the Bond,” said Crowley.  “In this case, that’d be Dean.  Incantation is Solvite haec animarum.  Liberum ipsi manebimus.  I’ve taken the liberty of writing it down for you in case your Moosehead forgets.  And, I went ahead and got the blood for you.”  He pulled out two vials from his pocket.  “Don’t say I never helped you, Moose.”

     Sam rolled his eyes.

     “And Sam?” Crowley said.

     “Yeah?”

     “If I were you, I’d get them both at the same time,” Crowley said.  “When one gets captured or hurt, the other one gets pretty lethal.  Apparently it’s the only thing they care about anymore.”

     Well that’s definitely the truth, thought Sam.

***Sam POV***

August 10, Evening

     As it turned out, Cole had been a blessing in disguise.  The man had a grudge against Dean, who had apparently killed his father.  He had captured and tortured Sam for Dean’s whereabouts, then held him for ransom.  When that didn’t work, he had allowed Sam to escape, and then tracked him back to Dean.

     As it turned out, Sam was able to use Cole as a distraction.  He waited for just the right moment.  Dean had beaten Cole to a pulp, without even breaking a sweat.  It was a shame, and Sam felt horrible for the man.  He knew he was a family man with a grudge – a human, and an innocent, despite the (relatively mild, to be honest) torture Sam had withstood at his hand.  If it were any other situation, he would be coming to the man’s rescue.  His brother would have to come first, however.

     Sam thought for a minute that Dean was planning on beating Cole up and leaving, but Cole finally managed to score a slash to Dean’s face with a knife.  He saw Dean’s eyes grow cold, and watched with horror as the cut on his face healed.  Ember watched, too, from the sidelines, finally taking her eyes off of Sam for the first time since Dean had become engaged with Cole.

     “You have no idea what you walked into here do you?  None,” Dean said.

     Sam could sense, but not see, Dean’s eyes turn black.  “What are you?” Cole said with horror.

     “I’m a demon,” Dean said.  He held the First Blade to Cole’s throat.

     “Do it!” Cole shouted.  “You said if you saw me, you would kill me, so do it!”

     Ember was captivated by the fight, and so was Dean.  This was his chance.

     “I guess I changed my mind,” said Dean.