Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Castiel woke with a start, his screams stuck in his throat. He wondered if the nightmares will ever stop. Child abuse,they said. Nightmares they said, wouldn't they ever learn? He wasn't abused. His dad just wasn't there a lot. Okay, more like ever. But his older brother watched him. Gabriel, he was sixteen and older by a year. Then CPS showed up at his door and automatically assumed it was child abuse. His dad would come, no matter what Gabriel said. He was faithful.

Then CPS shipped them off to a foster home for boys. All of the people there had this code. You come in and they'd give you a necklace with a wing on it. Gabe got gold and Castiel had black. It was home, for now. Just until dad showed back up. Then he would go to his real home.

When it became clear that dad wasn't going to be home in a while, that' saw hen his nightmares started. He got worse and didn't speak to anyone, he was stiff. They made him go to a therapist and said it was depression. But it wasn't. He was just waiting.

So now he woke in the middle of the night either screaming or about too. Gabriel tried to help sooth him, but it took all of the boys to get him back to sleep. They huddled together. A pack, a group, a flock. Chuck, our foster home owner, called them his little flock of angels.

How sweet.

Dean Winchester was the only 10th grader in Kansas City High to be the captain of the football team. He had a string of young lovers and was smart. He took all pre-ap classes and was literally the poster boy for good kids.

At home was a different story. At home Dean was beaten by his father. John would get drunk and take out his drunken rage on him. When Mary, his mom, died it had taken a lot from John, mostly his sobriety. Once Dean had decided to spend the night at a friends to escape his father, but the next day his brother Sam was sporting a bruise on both arms. So now Dean stayed home. He would not allow Sam to get hurt under any circumstances. Even if it meant his health.

Of course dressing out was terrible. His coach, Bobby Singer, noticed his bruises on day and called him into his office. Dean had tried to convince him it was an accident, but Bobby didn't believe him. He managed to keep Bobby quiet though. So all was well.

How quaint.

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Dean walked the halls of that old Kansas school having people pat his bruised back in celebration. Dean had lead his Team to another win and a shot at the quarter finals. And when he got home John was extra drunk. He called Dean a fuck up, useless and a faggot. John had caught him with the Basketball captain two months ago and from then on he was never the same Dean, only Faggot. Even when Sam was around. He wouldn't even call Dean his son. No son of his was going to be a gay fag.

So now he walked the halls with bruises on his back, upper arms and sides. He gave Bobby the look that said he needed to sit out, he only gave that look when he was really hurt, and that was only once in a blue moon. So he sat out and saw the buoy sitting on the bleachers. The boy he had had a crush on since the 8th grade. His friends called him Black, why? No clue. And there came his older brother, Gabriel. Everyone knew him, junior and a major ladies man. His nickname was the trickster because he would always mess with the teachers.

Then Black or whatever turned to me and blushed. I returned the blush and looked away. Damn, now he felt like a stalker. Oh well, all is fair in Love and Football.

He had English last period with Black. He sat in front and sadly that was one of his worst classes. He would get lost in the dark Black hair and just ease into calmness. Just looking at him took a little pain away. Like a coma and he loved it.

"Hello Dean." Black said turning in his seat to face me.

And oh god those blue eyes. "Hey Black."

"My name is Castiel," Bla- Castiel informed.

"Cool, mines Dean." Dean answered.

"I know," Castiel smiled

Yeah, Dean was falling hard.

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Dean. Cas could remember his name so easily. It rolled off the tongue like it was prophetic, it was just meant to be the name of his cruch. Cas remembered the boy from his chemistry class, always joking and messing around with the other jersey wearing jocks. It seemed like the most simplest thing in the world, Dean sat with the football players. Never with him but that was okay because he liked to watch his hair. Cas was supposed to have all pre-ap classes but his schedule was messed up and he didn't care to change it.

It was lunch though, that he loved the most. All the football players would come in with wet hair and look like they were having the time of there life. Cas loved seeing the smile on Dean's face; it wasn't there often. Sam was taller than Dean and a freshman, he still had most classes with the Sophomores kids and therefore had lunch with Cas. They would spend the entire period telling tales of wooing each other's brothers. It positively repulsed Cas to think that Gabe would date one of his best friends, but he got through it since Sam had to deal with him writing poems about Dean's laugh.

Today, though, today was special because Dean came to sit with them. Sam had nugged Cas's side to warn him, but it wasn't enough to get Castiel's head out of the book he was reading.

"Cas."

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Cas jumped in his seat and the legs of the chair moved out from under him sending his book flying onto the table as he promptly fell to the ground. Epic fail. The cafeteria seemed to silence but then erupted in a roar of laughter. Cas felt heat rise into his face as he picked the book up and sat down on the chair next to him. Luckily for Cas, Sam was only chuckling under his breath, still, one glare from Cas sent him into a coughing mess to hide the fact he was laughing. Castiel turned his gaze to Dean, the one who had called his name and saw a smirk resting on his face.

This was a nightmare.

"I gotta go to the library." Cas mumbled and turned to leave, only to hear Dean's voice.

"I'll come with." There it was, the fluttering in his stomach that only happened at the sound of his voice.

"Um, i'm fine." Cas said as Sam butt in. "He'd love for you to come, right buddy?"

Another glare was shot at Sam. "Actually..."

"Great." Dean said smiling. "It's a date."

"A what?" Cas said surprised. "Like a date a date or a date a date?"

"Oh um." Now it was his turn to blush. "Like a date in the calendar, or a...a meeting not a, you know..."

"Yeah." Cas said saving Dean from blubbering like an idiot.

"Okay."

Sam coughed loudly and Castiel's head turned to him, glaring. "So let's go." Cas said walking out of the cafeteria without seeing if Dean was following. It was hard growing up where if you showed emotion, you were weak, and Dean didn't help that. Every time he saw the man his heat went a mile a minute. Castiel didn't use to blush, now he did all the time. Dean was changing him in to many ways to count. He was supposed to be calm and collected, except for the nightmares, and now? Now he was a junior high girl with her first crush. 

Turning around he saw Dean jogging after him, and he knew it would be a long day. 

Chapter Text

You'd think offering to go to the library would involve more talking. Or at least that's what Dean thought. Nope, it seemed that Cas actually wanted to read. Who read books nowadays? Dean was completely shocked, to say the least. He couldn't have had a crush on someone who wasn't a complete nerd? Nope he had to fall for the guy who read books.

Dean sighed loudly andlooked over at Cas. "I'm bored."

Cas just sighed in return, but gave a sharp look over at Dean when the other boys elbow found Castiel's side. "You can go back to the cafeteria."

"But I'll be bored there to." Dean whined smiling at Cas.

Cas smiled back and dean couldn't resist making not of Castiel's smile, It was beautiful. Like the sunrise it lit up his day, no joke. He couldn't think of a bad thing seeing Castiel's smile. "I want to see that every day." Dean accidentally let out.

"What?" Cas said tilting his head to the side. 

Dean might have freaked out if he hadn't seen Cas tilt his head like a cute little puppy. "An actual human being talking to another of course!" Dean saved. "Everyday I see People texting or calling someone but they never talk like this. Technology is ruining humanity!" 

Cas laughed and nudged Dean lightly and laughed. "Shut up." He said smiling.

Chapter Text

Dean was happy for the rest of the day. He felt like a 6th grader with a crush but it didn't matter, he got Cas to smile. The classes after lunch passed like the wind through Sammy's hair. It was just glorious. All he wanted to do was go and see Cas again. Make him smile one more time.

When the last bell rang he ran out of the room and to Sam's last period, which just happened to be the same class Cas was in. He ran as fast as he could and got there huffing and puffing. Shit, that wasn't subtle. He tried to slow his breath and was able just as Sam and Cas walked out. Together. Were they together? No, Sam would have told him. Right? He knew Sam was bisexual But, Cas wasn't on Sam's bench was he?*

Was Cas even gay? Damn, his mind was wondering. Of course Cas was gay, he never had dated any girls; he hadn't dated any guys either. Oh God was he flirting with a straight guy? Oh shit.

"You okay Dean?" Sam asked with a worried look.

"Yeah." Dean said looking at them.

Sam kept the look and Cas tilted his head. Oh God that was beautiful.

"Anyway I was thinking we should go out and get some ice cream before we go home." Dean said to Sam even though his and Castiel's eyes were locked. "Cas can come to."

Sam looked at them both and smiled. It was happening. Dean was letting someone in other than him. Dean hadnt done that for anyone after dad had, well, started. Now Dean was opening up for Cas, they hadn't even spent and hour together, it didn't make sense but there they were. It was like magic or destiny or something. 

"What's up with the two lovers." A guy said from right behind Sam.

Sam jumped and the books in his arms fell to the floor."Gabe." Sam hissed hating when Castiel's brother did that.

"Cant help it gigantor." Gabriel said with a sly smile.

Dean broke his gaze with Cas to look over at his brother blushing darkly and Gabriel smiling like a fuckin dork. Yep, Sam didn't like Cas. He had his eye on the trickster. That guy was an asshole, stupid brothers with stupid crushes. 

"See I heard ice cream and that usually means chocolate and or candy so I am in." Gabriel said happily.

"Your not invited." Dean said with a dark look. Sam elbowed Dean lightly.

"Well Cas isn't allowed to leave me after school. Chuck's orders." Gabriel said with a knowing smirk. "But if I can't come..." he threw his arm over Castiel's shoulders and started to walk away.

"Fine." Dean said not wanting to say goodbye to Cas. He wanted to see him all the time. Damn it, he was getting Chick-Flicky.

"Great." He said walking back with a glaring Cas in tow. If Gabriel saw the glares directed his way, he didn't care.

"Come on, I'll drive." Dean said.

He was unaware of what was soon to happen.

Chapter Text

It was crustal clear how much Castiel's brother loved to meddle when he shoved Castiel in the passenger seat and put himself in the back with Sam. Castiel should have known Gabriel would be doing this, it was what the older one lived for. All Cas wanted was one day, just one of Gabriel not doing this kind of crap.

The ice cream joint was crowded to say the least, people usually came here after high school ended because it was so close. Castiel though, didn't like crowds. They made Castiel irritable, for some reason he didn't quite know. Dean seemed calm though. He had a soft smile pointed towards Castiel which made him immediately blush. Why was he aciting weird around Dean? He didn't usually act so shy. 

"Cas?" Dean said nudging him lightly with his elbow.

"What?" Cas said looking at Dean confusingly. 

"I asked you what you wanted." Dean explained chuckling softly.

"oh.. Just a cone is fine." Cas said not really into sweets.

Dean nodded and ordered for both of them, were they really already in the front of the line? Wow, he didn't even remember moving. Gabe, then, rattled on his huge order of what sweets he wanted and Dear lord, how did he not have a thousand cavities? Sam shook his head saying he was fine and Dean forked over the money glaring at Gabe as he did. Cas didn't blame him, Gabe's choices cost more than his and Deans combined.

Dean quickly gave Cas his cone and Gabriel his bowl that was filled with treats. Dean had gotten two scoops of Cookie Dough ice cream, Castiel didn't know why that was important, but it was. The four quickly walked to their table and,sans Sam, started eating there frozen treats. 

"So since this is our first date, Sammy boy, do I get a kiss? Or are you a wait for a third date kind of person." Leave it to Gabriel to be blunt.

"Wha-What?" Sam said blushing lightly.

"Oh come on Samsquatch, I know you like me, and I like you so I ain't gonna drag it out like those two." Gabriel said pointing at Castiel and Dean.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean said furiously slamming his hands down. Castiel just blushed and looked suprised at how angry Dean was. "You ain't dating Sammy!"

"But Dean, we're in love." Gabriel said with a smirk, he then grabbed Sam's face and smashed his lips onto Sam's.

Dean glared and jumped onto the table, jumped onto Gabriel and slammed himself so hard that Gabriel's chair tipped back and they both crashed to the ground. He had one fist curled in Gabriel's shirt and another one threatening him from above. "Don't ever touch my brother with out his permission, asshat."

Gabriel's face was calm to Castiel's amazement. "I think he was okay with it." They both looked up to Sam who nodded After a moment.

"Whatever." Dean said getting up and walking back to his chair. 

"Hey Asswipe." Gabriel called making Dean turn around. "You forgot something."

And with that Gabriel threw his bowl of candy and ice cream at Dean. The bowl hit him in his stomach and he gasped in pain. Castiel tilted his head slightly, it was just a paper bowl. The ice cream was slowly sliding down Dean's shirt and Dean glared at Gabe. 

"You piece of Shit!" Dean roared.

"Hey!" The manager said stepping inbetween the two. "Take it somewhere else."

Dean just shook his head and stomped off. Stupid Gabriel asking his brother out. This was ridiculous. Why Sam? Why did that ass of a man have to like Sam? Why did Sam like him back? He needed to calm down, but more importantly get a new shirt on. The stupid ice cream was making his shirt stick to his skin. Very uncomfortable.

he walked out to his car and opened up the trunk, he kept a spare change of clothes and a medkit in there in case he had to get away from John. He quickly took his shirt off and started to put his spare on when he heard a gasp. Turning he saw Castiel watching him with a lot of horror.

The bruises, oh crap. This wasn't okay his father had wailed in him last night so they looked terrible. He shoved his shirt down  and glared dangerously at Castiel. "It's nothing, the bruises are from Saturday's game." Dean said darkly.

"Last week was a bi week. You didn't have a game." Castiel said softly  looking at Dean with sadness.

"Don't you fucking pity me Novak. I'm not the one who's father doesn't give a damn." Dean said snidely.

Castiels sadness turned into outright anger. "Are you sure about that?"

Dean stormed to the driver side door. "Fuck you." Dean bite out Jumping into his car, slamming his keys inside and then driving away. Dean wiped underneath his eyes and drove faster Down the 25 miles per hour road. "Fuck you." He whispered as he hit 80."Fuck you." 

And everything went black.

Chapter Text

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked when Cas walked in To the restaurant.

"He left." Cas said sourly, then his eyes widened. "Oh God he left! Sam the bruises-" Cas started.

Sam's eyes widened. "Tell me you didn't see..." Cas nodded. "We need to find him." Sam's eyes were wide with fear.

"What are you guys talking about?" Gabe said confused.

"I'll tell you later, we need a car." Sam said biting his head. 

They quickly borrowed a car and started to drive towards the way Dean took off. Sam was seated in the passenger seat with Gabe driving and Castiel in the back. At firest it was real quiet, the air filled with fear and anxiety. All Castiel could think about is what the hell was giving Dean those bruises and scars. 

"It started when my Dad lost his job six years ago. He started drinking and when he got angry, he hit us. Dean would always take the beatings so I never got hit. One night he left and." Sam's voice catched.

Castiel saw Gabe throw his arm around Sam protectivly."You don't have to talk about it." He murmured, there was not jokes or a snide smirk. He was completely serious.

"No it's okay." Sam took a deep breath. "So dad took his anger out on me. Dean saw me the next day, and ever since then he has refused to leave me alone with Dad. He comes home everyday and gets beat up and just shrugs it off in time for school." Sam said with a shake of his head. 

"How many people know?" Castiel asked. 

"Me Dad him and Mr. Singer. When it gets bad we go to his house and he helps us. He wants to tell CPS but Dean has to testify, I would but you need two witnesses. I don't know why he won't tell anyone. Sometimes it's hard for him to walk and he doesn't care, he won't leave dad. I cant stand it." 

"I'm so sorry." Gabe murmured. "No one should have to go through this."

"I know, I just wish he didn't have to be so stubborn."

Chapter Text

Dean woke up in pain, excruciating pain worse than any beating he'd ever had. His eyes looked up and saw he was sitting upside down. His car must have flipped. He then looked in front of him and saw the broken windshield and concrete. And that's when he smelt it.

Smoke. 

"Help!" He croaked, his voice like sandpaper. "Someone help me!"

Even though he said it, he could feel that no one was going to help, there was no way anyone could hear him.Hed have to do it himself.

His first thought was to kick out the door, but he was shocked to find out he couldn't move his legs. They were numb and leaking blood. Then he decided to do something different. He reached out and unbuckled himself, thank God for seat belts, and his body fell to the hood of the car. Dean ignored the pain shooting through his stomach as bruises were hit and shards of glass found themselves imbeded in his body.

He slowly started to pull his bloody body from the car. It was a slow process and his painful headache was not helping. Slowly he moved until half his body was out off the car. He looked behind him and saw the start of the fire, a car next to his own was blazing, the engine and everything was on fire and Dean was lucky that it hadn't quite hit its own gas tank.

The car had hit him, he realized. It hit him straight on his passenger side, if anyone had been in the car with him, they would have died. It was low to the ground and the front must have rammed right underneath his car causing his to flip. 

"Help!" Dean yelled hoping the other driver would hear him.

No one came.

No one at all. 

He went back to pulling himself out of the car and was surprised when he finally achieved his goal. He collapsed with relief and smiled through the pain. He'd gotten out. He was alive.

He closed his eyes as he hard the sound of cop cars in the distance. They would help, now he could sleep. He was suddenly feeling tired anyway. Really tired, like someone was slowly sucking his energy out. He'd close his eyes, only for a second, then he would open his eyes. He would, he promised Himself.

And that was when Dean Winchestears heart stopped.

 It wasn't long until they saw the crash. Deans treasured car was flipped upside down next to some sports car. Castiel gasped in horror and threw his hand over his lips. He had caused this. As soon as the car was stopped Castiel ran towards the scene. Cops were everywhere and two Emergancy veichles were off to the side.As soon as Castiel got close, a cop tried to stop him.

"I'm sorry son, you can't go over there." The cop said, unfeeling.

" Oh my god." Castiel said seeing the worst thing in the world.

Two EMT's were rolling a body away, in a black body bag. "Dean!" Cas screamed. Dean was Dead, oh God he was dead. 

"Cas!" Sam cried right behind him. "That isn't... That can't be.... Dean!" Sam cried tears streaking down His face, Castiel saw Gabriel crying silently behind Sam holding the boy in his arms as his cried. "No, it isn't him." Sam denied hitting Gabreil. "Don't touch me! He isn't dead, he can't be." 

Gabriel petted Sam's haie and murmured. "Im so sorry." 

Castiel looked back at the cop and saw his expression had softened. "You knew one of the drivers?" He asked quietly.

"Dean." Casteil said wiping his tears as he cried. 

"Was he the owner of the sports car?" The cop questioned.

"No, the 1967 Chevy Impala." Sam said through his tears.

The cop frowned. "The driver of the Chevy Impala didn't die. He's being taken to the hospital."

Cas gasped and cried harder. "Oh thank God." He said. Wiping his eyes again , unable to stop crying.

"He was taken away a few minutes ago, kept talking about wanting to see his angel, Castiel?"

Chapter Text

Dean woke to a constant beeping noise. It was at this moment that he groaned realizing what had just happened. It felt like it had happened seconds ago; it felt like it had been a million years. A car reck, oh shit, Baby! Oh crap John is going to be pissed. Dean broke the car, crap how bad would the beating be this time? 

"Dean?" Sam's voice was soft and broken. 

Dean turned to a peculiar sight. In a chair sat Gabriel who was fast asleep and on top of him was Sam, looking like he'd just woken up. Dean smiled but it turned into a grimace. He hurt, everywhere. 

"Heya Sammy." He said, his voice like sandpaper.

Sam all but jumped over to Dean and grabbed his hand. "are you okay?" Sam said softly.

"Well other than the fact that I'm in a hospital , Yeah. When do I get out of here?" Dean asked.

"Dean, you broke your leg, sprained an ankle and had severe internal bleeding. And those are just the big problems. Dean, there starting to ask questions." Sam said whispering softly.

Dean jumped back. "You didn't tell them anything." 

"No, but Dean, we might want to. You can't just keep living like this. I won't let you." Sam said shaking his head.

"You aren't the deciding factor. You can't get a case against him without me." Dean said crossing his arms.

Sam just shook his head again. "I looked it up while you were sleeping. Bobby can be a witness, he saw the beatings everyday." 

Dean's throat was dry. "You... You can't. N-No Sammy." He stuttered.

Were the walls closing in? Why was the room smaller? And he was so dizzy, was there any air in here? He needed air. No no no no. John, John would be angry with him. Was it going to be a belt or his hand? The belt hit his back sometimes but John's hands clenched in fists were ten times worse. 

"Dean!" Sammy, Sammy was hurt, he had to get to Sammy.

But things were calm now, so calm. He could sleep, why are there nurses around him? Did they make it calm? There trying to hurt Sammy! Don't sleep, Dean. Don't fucking fall asleep. Maybe just one little nap. One little nap.

one little...

one...

....

Chapter Text

When Dean woke up again Castiel was there. Dean tensed up at first but after seeing Cas's soft look, he relaxed. Dean shifted to the side allowing spacd, he patted the bed and Cas sat down.

"We thouget you were dead. When we went driving to look for you, we saw a body bag. I-I couldn't... I don't know what I would have done." Castiel shook his head as tears slid down his cheeks.

"Hey, hey, don't think about that. Im alive, aren't I? Relax." Dean gave the other boy his award winning smile.

"You don't understand." Castiel looked away. "I couldnt... I need you."

Dean smiled softly. "I need you too Cas, who else would make me smile?" 

"That's not what I meant. Well, I mean that too but what I'm trying to say is..." Castiel started.

Just then the door slammed open crashing onto the wall and a large muscular man walked in. It was John Winchester."

Dean immediately winced and looked fearful. John glared darkly at his son walking slowly towards the bed, like a cat stalking his prey. Dean pushed Castiel of the bed and gave him a look that said 'run' , but Castiwl just shuffled farther from John.

"Guess what some bitch asked me before coming in here, Dean?" John spat. "She asked if you were subjected to violence at home. What's got you squealing like a pig, Dean? Is it the fag." John said walking towards Castiel.

Dean did the same thing he did everytime he saw Sam about to be hurt. "I'm gay Dad!"

John turned around and laughed. "What have I told you about this, Dean? You aren't a fag, I didn't raise no faggot son. Your mother would have hated you. She would have thought you were a disgrace. "

With every word Dean flinched. His mother had always been a touchy subject for him. John knew this and used it all the time.

"Do you remember what I did the last time you said you liked cocks up your ass? Do I need to show you what happens To fags like you." John asked with a cruel smile.

"N-no please d-don't ." It was a nightmare, that day. The worst thing John could have done. Dean had always tried to shove it down, to forget it, but John... He was a living reminder.

"I think I do." John come close and dragged his finger down Deans cheek. "You look so much like your mother." He said softly and then slapped Dean so hard his vision went black. "Your mother was a cheating bitch."

"Stop it you abusive bastard," Castiel growled standing. 

"Oh! So the Fag talks!" John laughed and turned to Dean. "Get up, we're leaving."

"Now John, I'm gonna tell you nicely before I put you down like a dog. Get away from the boy." That was Bobby when  did he get here?

"Bobby Singer? Oh your actually sympathetic for the bitch. He's a worthless piece of shit Bobby. If anyone deserves to be put down its this idiot. Isn't that right dean?" John smiled cruelly begging him to deny his fathers words.

"Y-yes." Dean said and Bobby growled. "Get the hell out of here John!" 

John laughed walking towards the door. "The bitch knows it, Bobby, you'd be doing him a favor." John said before leaving.

Sam ran to Dean coming from behind Bobby. "You shouldn't be killed Dean, you don't deserve that. Please say you didn't mean that." Sam sobbed into Deans shirt. 

"I-I didnt S-Sam." Dean lied trying to be strong for his younger brother. 

"Where is Gabriel?" Cas asked looking around. 

"He went to call the police." Sam answered.

Dean looked at Castiel, who had yet to come over to him,with needy eyes . "Please Cas, come over here." 

Castiel walked towards Dean and held his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I am too."

Chapter Text

"Why do you stay with him?" Castiel asked as soon as Sam had fallen asleep against Dean.

"I don't know." Dean lied softly.

He knew, he was ashamed to admit. It wasn't some stupid thing where he didn't know, he just couldnt. It was stupid, he was stupid. Damn it.

"tell me, please Dean." Dean could feel the raw pain in his voice.

"It's stupid, you'll think I'm an idiot. ." Dean said shaking his head.

"No, I won't, Dean. I just want to understand." Castiel squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"I... I. Something inside of me keeps telling me that if I stay, maybe he'll start to love me. If I do this right, maybe he won't think I'm such a fuck up. I am a fuck up. A faggot bitch..." Dean started to silently cry. "I don't deserve you, or anyone. My own mother..." 

Castiels arms wrapped around Deans shaking body. "No Dean. You do, you deserve everything good in the world. Your dads an asshole. He can't see and refuses to see how amazing you are. You'd give your life for your brother and you stick up for the weak. You are an amazing human being and your father must be blind to see that. You are beautiful."

Dean was sobbing into Castiel. "It's not fair." Dean cried shaking his head. "

"Dont worry, I'm going to be here Dean. I won't leave you and I'll make sure no one ever hurts you again. Everything's going to be fine." Cas murmured.

And for a moment, just a moment, Dean believed him.

But then again, it was only for a moment.

Chapter Text

Dean had gotten himself into the hospital bathroom. His nose was tapped and the side of his face was black and blue. He'd taken off his hospital gown to see the damage of his stomach and back. Tiny cuts littered his chest from where the glass had cut through his shirt and scraped his skin. Looking down at the cuts, he frowned. Dean poked the biggest cut with a firm finger and winced. 

There was obvious pain with that motion, but something else was there too. Satisfaction. He deserved this. He was a fag, a bitch, a son that wasn't wanted. Of course he deserved to feel pain. And how would it feel if he caused these cuts? To inflict pain as punishment? Surely he wasn'so some tween girl. Guys have to get over it, right? 

No, he wouldn't do it, it would hurt Sammy to much if the young boy ever found out. Sammy didn't deserve that pain.

A nock. "Dean?" Sam's voice uttered.

"Just a minute!" Dean called and he could feel Sam's anger spike.

"You shouldnt be out of bed! You have a broken leg and a sprained ankle! Not to mention the obvious concussion! Get out of there and into bed right now!" He commanded. 

Dean couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes mom!" He opened the door and slowly shuffled to the bed. Sam didnt like this, though.

"Gabe, help Dean please." Sam flashed his puppy eyes at the Junior.

Gabe got up and Dean shook his head. "I don't need his help." Dean denied but a line of sweat was forming on his brow. Castiel stood up no got to one side of Dean and Gabe got to the other. Together, much to Dean's disapproval, they helped him get back to bed.

As soon as Dean's butt hit the bed, the door opened and a nice woman walked in. She wore a business suit and radiated soothing feelings. Dean didn't trust her.

"I need a word with Dean please. I would be very appriciative if it was alone." She said her voice calm and relaxed. The boys shuffled out of the room, with Dean's approval, and the laday sat in a chair. A therapist. "Dean, I'd like to talk to you about your home life. Could you describe it to me in a phase?"

Dean was silent.

The therapist sighed and shook her head. "Dean, there were some bruises and fractured bones when we found you. These were not caused by the crash, we know that for sure. You had a fractured rib that looked a year old, it was never looked at. Also, a slight abraison on a ligament. Yet you have no hospital visits with these recorded. Please Dean, we are here to help you, but you need to speak up.

Dean found his voice. "Sammy'll tell you everything. I can't talk about it, though." Dean whispered.

"Can you at least say it? It will be easier to use in. Court. " she asked softly.

Dean struggled with the words. It was hard to admit. Somehow, he still loved his father. It felt like betrayal. "My dad... My Dad abuses me"

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After that was a blur of Football players and cheerleaders. Everyone who was anyone knew Dean was in the hospital and that meant he needed to be seen. Girls bent over giving him an image of their ass as they signed his cast. Football players drew dicks and wrote disturbing jokes. Everyone wanted to sign his cast. 

Castiel had stayed in the room along with Sam and Bobby. Bobby, though, left sometimes to do legal work. Apparently the lawyers were working on moving parental custody to Bobby. John had been arrested in a drunken stupor for Child abuse. Dean's life was turning on its side.

But Dean's story wasn't over yet. He still needed to tell Cas how he felt. How much he loved him and he he wanted to be with him. That was all he needed, and today that was his mission. He looked over at Sam sitting in a chair with aworried look and sighed. "Sam, I need some time alone, with Cas."

Sam looked from one boy to the other and nodded, pulling Gabriel out too. Bobby filed behind them and then it was just Dean and Castiel.Castiel gave Dean a cautious look and walked over to the bed. "What do you need Dean?" 

Dean built up all the strength he had left and looked Cas in the eye. "Listen, since the crash, I've been thinking about if I died that day. What it would have been like to die alone and feeling broken and, I don't want that. In order to be happy, though, i need you."

"I don't understand." Cas said with a confused look.

"I'll explain." Dean said taking his hand. "I love you, Cas. I love your pretty blue eyes and. The way you smile. I love how you can make me smile. I love every single word you say and the exact way you say it. I want you in my life, I want you to be more than my friend because if i have to go another day without you as my boyfriend I might die. And if I'm telling the truth, I want you as more than a boyfriend, I want you as my lover, my friend, my rock. I need you Cas. I need you to be more than just a friend."

Cas didnt realize he was crying until a tear hit his hand. He'd wanted him, Dean for so long. "I've wanted you for so long, Dean. Wanted to hold you to smile as I walk with your hand in mine. I need you too. I need you to help me when I'm down, I need you to kiss me and tell me you love me. I need you to let me help you."

Dean pulled Cas onto him and gave Castiel a kiss. They're lips touched and it was a race to the finish. Who would bite the others lip first, who would taste the others tongue? All Dean knew was he needed Cas to know his love. He needed Cas.

He loved him.

 Castiel. A name of an angel. A protector and a warrior. An angel with six wings and a fierce fire inside. In so many ways Dean's Castiel mached the angelic one. Dean would heal. He would heal from his fathers beatings and from the mental and Physical repercutions, but he'd need Castiel.

And he finally had him.