Work Text:
"Aurora: It’s just… you seemed a little upset in there… is everything ok?
Lux: Of course, of course. I was just thinking about some things… You know, any man would be honored to be by your side. I’m glad you brought me with you today." - Akash: Path of the Five
Rowan is sitting in his usual seat but he’s uncharacteristically quiet, blushing hard and grinning widely when I come into class. Rocco gives me a cheeky wink as I take my seat. I smile back at him, looks like somebody got his wish finally. I can’t believe that obnoxiously flirty Rocco would actually be in love with Rowan but it makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. Rowan seemed oblivious to it, though not anymore it looks like… Looking over at Lux, my own oblivious mountain of muscle, I watch his eyes dart across the board, taking in every detail. He's so cute like this. I wish he were as fascinated with me... then maybe it wouldn't be so difficult to get through to him. Sighing, I wonder how to approach him without hurting our friendship. Fishing out a parchment that's been worried down and refined until it's almost illegible, I pen out the last few lines. I'll have to make a new copy in class today but I think I finally have it right. This isn’t going to be easy.
Getting out a fresh piece of parchment, I set to work making a clean, fresh copy. I can’t help but think about just how much Rocco and I actually have in common… Or remember the promise we made in the forest. “Darling, I don’t want to waste another moment wondering what might have been. When we get back, I’ll try again and you should too.”
“It's a deal. Though, I think it would help a lot if you didn’t… make it sound like a joke. Rowan might be a bit hard headed but if he knew you were serious, I think he’d hear you out. He’s your best friend.”
“And what about yours darling? You’re always teasing poor Lux, don’t think I didn’t catch on to your little show in the training yard with him... not that I object of course, if I thought that’d work on Rowan I’d have done the same but maybe you should take your own advice if you want him to take you seriously.”
I didn't think it would be so difficult to find the time or words to tell him how I feel but it's just the opposite. Fresh from our escape, Lux is the first person I thought would be there, welcoming me back but it feels like I’ve had to push him into spending time with me. I’ve taken him along with me to try out cakes and even to look at jewelry but it just seems to make him pull away more. I wish he’d talk to me. He seems so sad and quiet, I can tell something is weighing on his mind and it just hasn't seemed the right time to spring this on him with everything else... but the agreement expiring and the coming of age ceremony is closing fast, there just isn't much time left. Rocco coughs a little too loudly and I look over at him.
“Well?” Rocco whispers, "It’s impolite to keep a gentleman in suspense darling. Have you done it?”
“No not yet.”
“Don’t drag it out darling, get it over with. Courage love.” He gives me another saucy wink and leans back in his chair, smiling warmly at Rowan.
I nod and finger the newly finished copy, wondering if it will be enough.
------
I spend all day distractedly thinking about what to say. How to approach him. How to give it to him, this letter where it feels like I've written out my heart. If it were anyone other than Lux, I don't think it would see the light of day. But it is. Its parchment is dissolving around its edges already from my worrying fingertips. After class, we walk back together. I’m drowning in uncertainty. It’s risking everything to do this and if I lose him… Lux is my best friend, he’s been with me through everything.
“Everything alright?” He says, catching my attention.
“Um, yes. I’ve just been a bit distracted that all, sorry.” I gather up a bit of courage and take a breath, the dorms come into view. Goddess help me it seems so silly and sentimental now but... “Do you remember when we were little, how we used to slide letters under each other’s doors?”
Lux smiles fondly, “Of course.”
“Well, I didn’t want this one to get lost… so, here.” I hand him the letter. He looks at it and the smile fades from his face.
“Oh, alright.” He tries to smile again but it looks forced. “Thank you. I’ll be sure to read this later. See you in the morning.” His pace quickens and steps inside the dorm. I can tell he's hurting but I don't know why. I hurry after him.
“Lux, stop.” He does, of course. His hand draws back from his door handle, but it’s clear from the tension in his back that he wants to do otherwise. “Please, what’s wrong? You can talk to me.” With a sigh he turns around towards me again.
“I’m sorry. Lately, it doesn’t feel that way.” He says, motioning to the letter. “I wish you’d just say it. Whatever it is you have to say.” Lux says, the hurt in his voice cuts through me. “I know I’ve failed you but…”
“Failed me? No Lux… what are you talking about?”
“I tried to stop them from getting to you but.. I just couldn’t. I couldn't protect you and I couldn't stop them from taking you away. What good were all those years of training? You needed me and I… I failed you.”
“Oh Lux, none of that's your fault. You could never fail me. We’ve always been there for each other. You’re always protecting me, I want to protect you too. There was nothing you or I could have done but we’re both safe now.” I pull him into a hug. He wraps his muscled arms around me gently as if he's uncertain of my welcoming it. All I want to do is keep holding him and sooth away his doubt. I pull him down a bit, holding him firmly to me as tightly as I can. “There’s no safer place and even if there were.. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here, with you.” I rub my head against his shoulder to drive my words home. His breath catches and he tightens his hold on me.
“Me too.” He says. When he lets go, he’s blushing. His face warms with the same sweet, inviting smile I’ve come to love over the years. I’m certain now more than ever that whatever happens next, our friendship will survive. It’s worth the risk.
“What’s this about then?” he asks, holding out the letter.
“Well, it’s kind of private. Do you mind if we talk inside?” I motion us between to his door.
“Of course, if that makes you comfortable.” He opens the door and we both go in. The familiar, parchment scented room puts me at ease. He sets my letter to one side as he sits on the edge of his bed and offers me his chair. I sit next to him instead, picking up the letter and turning it nervously in my hands. “What is it, is everything alright? Is it the necklace or has something else..?”
I press a finger to his lips and he quiets instantly and looks at me confused.
“You know I love you.”
“Of course, I love you too.”
“I know… but… I feel like we haven’t been honest with each other lately. I want you to know that no matter what, I’ll always be your friend but I need to know...” I sigh and think about how to say what comes next. Hold my breath for a moment and press the letter into his hand “This letter is... my heart. The things I want to say and haven't been able to, all the things I've been holding back. It feels like I'm risking everything by telling you but... there’s something more between us now… you’re my best friend and I’ve loved you for a long time but for me it’s deeper than that now. Lux, I think I’m falling in love you and the last few weeks, it seemed like you might feel that way too. Do you?”
“Yes. I do...I...” He wraps one arm around me and kisses my forehead. “You mean so much to me. I... I love you too.”
I lean against his side as he holds me, tenderness filling my heart. Turning towards him, I reach up and brush my lips against his. He cups my face in his hands, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. His lips brush back over mine, savoring each touch before pressing them fully against mine. Hot tears slip down his face and I can taste them on his lips. My heart beats fast in my chest, I feel like I might cry too. Years friendship and love are written in his embrace. When we finally break apart, his face is flush. He smiles at me like I’m the sun and holds me close. I feel like a goddess wrapped in his arms.
I pull back and he looks at me curiously for a moment as I push shoulders gently towards the wall. Understanding, he smiles and moves with me until his back presses against the wall. I move his hands to my waist and straddle his legs, sitting on his thighs. He blushes bright red and encircles me in his arms. This time when we kiss, his body presses flush against mine. I can feel his heart racing against my chest. His kisses turn from gentle to urgent. My lips slid open in invitation and he kisses me harder, parting his own lips and deepening the kiss. He tastes like summer and as his tongue moves against mine, I'm consumed with a hunger that I've never felt before. Our kisses are clumsy and passionate, wet and utterly perfect. He kisses me like I’m a dream he’s afraid to wake from.
I pull back at last, breathless. “Goodness, wasn't that amazing.”
“Goddess yes, I’ve never felt better.”
I blush and as I take a moment to catch my breath, finally notice how dim the room is. Outside the sky's turned dark, it's a lot later than I thought it was. “I think that’s enough excitement for both of us for one night.”
He smiles in response and lets go, gently tucking my hair back into place. “If you say so but… could you stay with me, for a little longer… please?”
“Aw Lux, sure I can.” I turn around and lean back into his chest, folding his arms back around me. He smiles and pillows his cheek against me. I stroke his hair and close my eyes for a moment, letting gentle waves of joy and affection surround me.
When I wake up, I’m tucked into my own bed with the necklace glowing brightly, a dream of love and daisies receding from my mind. I stumble over to the table and quickly write it down.. My clothes are awkwardly tangled around me but it’s to be expected, this top isn’t exactly made to be slept in. I can feel a blush rising, I hadn’t meant to but... did I really fall asleep in Lux’s arms last night?
On my bedside table is a piece of parchment carefully folded into a heart. It's addressed simply and unmistakably: “Good Morning Love.”