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The First Snow

Notes:

Anyway, I deleted a tweet saying that if I reach 900 hits on In Solitude, I'm coming out of retirement. But even if I deleted that I cannot lie to myself. Yes, I am aware that I'm just a clown.

This fic, if you haven't read the tags, is set post-season 2, so disregard season 3 for now. No one gets hurt, except me because as this fic came slowly came into fruition, I could feel myself driving further and further away from flavourtown. Anyway I hope you enjoy this, honestly.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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Injuries and illnesses don’t take holidays, so it’s understandable for doctors to be the same. 

It was the night of Christmas Eve and Shiraishi alongside Morimoto-sensei have been doing rounds in Lifesaving, making sure everyone was well accounted for. So, it comes to no surprise that most patients are much more expressive, talkative, friendlier even—and they of course were happy to oblige them. The reality was no one really wants to be sick or injured on holidays such as Christmas and so it would mean that those people are in great need of help and care—to which is where doctors come in the picture. Despite of the circumstances, there was an air of appreciation that lingered around them tonight — a certain festive spirit, if you will.

“Shiraishi,”

“Morimoto-sensei,” she said, acknowledging her senior,

“Are you sure that you’re fine covering for your colleague tonight?”

Initially, they found it strange for someone like Shiraishi to be volunteering to stay behind because she seemed the type to enjoy the holiday — that point was true. She liked the idea of Christmas. The season brought on an air of love, laughter—a whimsical mood as if everything felt and looked like something out of storybooks.

However, at the same time, Shiraishi didn’t expect it to be any different from any other day, she was raised by a doctor, after all. She suspected her colleagues didn’t have the same upbringing, so she let them have at least this night, considering it as a present for them— which they were grateful for.

She just wished she would at least see some snow.

“I’m sure,” she said with a smile,

“At least take a break for awhile,” he sighed,

“It’s alright, I’m not really tired”

“I can handle everything for now,” he said as he took out coins from his pocket, “maybe have a cup of cocoa on me.”

So that’s how Shiraishi ended up in the hospital lobby after idling around the vending machines by the staff station — settling on getting something later instead since she wasn’t feeling like drinking anything at that moment. The lobby was empty and dimly lit, as it would be in the middle of the night. However, she found herself fixated on the Christmas tree situated by entrance — appreciating it’s twinkling lights and medical themed decorations.

This is where Aizawa found her.

He didn’t really notice her at first — he was tired as he just got out from performing an emergency surgery. As he was on his way back to the Neurosurgery office to finally take a rest, he noticed someone standing in front of the Christmas tree — immediately stopping a few short feet from her as he realised who it was.

But why would Shiraishi be here?

He was about to take another step forward, but decided not to when she showed no indication that she knew of his presence. 

Shirashi looked exhausted if he was being honest. He couldn’t really blame her, it was late at night and knowing her, she must be. Yet, there was something about her that seemed different, like there was an allure — like she was alluring. He moved closer now to get a better look, and she then suddenly smiled as the lights of the tree changed their colour. There, he noticed the sparkle on her tired eyes, to which he couldn’t help but smile softly at the sight. The holiday rush may feel like something unecessary, but it was infectious. She seemed to be lost in the moment, so he thought it best to leave her alone.

However, the only way back to the Neurosurgery office was to get through her.

So even if he thought of it as a stupid plan, but Aizawa slowly started walking behind his colleague — hoping that she might not even notice that he was going to pass through.

He was right, though. It was a stupid plan. It was so stupid that from the moment he started to slowly drag his shoes it surely let himself be known.

The sound snapped Shiraishi out of her daze. She then gasps audibly, clutching her chest tightly —but slowly shot an apologetic look as she realised that she isn’t just feeling things. What she thought of as a ghost was just Aizawa, who appears to have been startled and confused by her actions.

But why would Aizawa be here? 

“Emergency Craniotomy,” Aizawa said to her, as if he knew what she was about to ask — which by the look on her face, was the right assumption, “how about you?”

“Night Shift,”

“Alone?”

“It’s only Morimoto-sensei and I tonight,” she replied, “but since Morimoto-sensei told me to take a little break for awhile, yes, I am alone.”

“I see,”

“It’s beautiful, is it not?” she said as she gazed upon the display before them, “They did well this year,”

“Ah,”

“Do you think they’ve decorated the rest of the hospital as nice as this as well?”

“They have actually,” Aizawa said matter-of-factly, “as I know of, the recreation deck is a favourite among the patients,”

“What?”

“You haven’t seen the recreation deck?”

She shook her head in reply. Typical. She works in Lifesaving after all, they don’t have much time to roam the hospital. He was adamant on not acknowledging anything close to what he considers the ghost of past christmases — the holiday spirit, if you will. But there was something, something about the look on her face that for a moment, Aizawa falters and blurted out something that wasn’t in his plans tonight. 

“Would you like to go and see it?”

 


It took them awhile to get to the recreation deck. Shiraishi kept stopping at each department and looking at how each of them decorated their stations. On the way, she talked about how she grew up with celebrating the holidays as a doctor’s daughter, how she was used to the arrangement, and anything else in between. Aizawa could only do what any colleague would do: listen curiously, attentively, and humour her inquiries as she asked — and wait. There was a lot of waiting. Usually he’d deem this behaviour as tiresome and a waste of time, but it didn’t feel like that at all.

“Wow,” she said under her breath,

You could see the fascination in Shiraishi’s eyes as she saw the display— even if they were just viewing it behind the glass windows. The hospital from this view seemed like a different place. 

Like it was a scene out of a snowball, without the snow.

It was nothing short of someone’s holiday fantasy—glittering lights encompassed the trees and shrubbery— the Christmas tree situated at the centre of it all was adorned with white arrangements, twinkling against the colourful display surrounding it. Aizawa thought the patients were very lucky to have this during their stay here. It was beautiful. It reminded him of a much simpler time in his life.

“My grandma used to take me to see the Christmas tree at our local shopping centre growing up,” he brought up to her, feeling a little more comfortable to share —he thought it was only fair.

As he opened up on the memories of his past, they stood together in front of the window directly in view of the lit Christmas tree outside. Aizawa on the left, Shiraishi on the right. Shiraishi studied him intently as he went on— looking curiously at her colleague. His features were soft, yet his eyes were warm, like freshly brewed coffee after a long day— time suddenly felt so slow.

“Let’s go see it up close,” she said,

“What?”

“Come on,” she proceeded to drag Aizawa outside before he could refuse,

They were greeted by the breeze as they went through—the surrounding air was cold, of course. It was winter.

“Shiraishi,” he said with concern, noticing his colleague shiver slightly,

“It—It’s colder than I thought it would be,” she said all of a sudden, but it is something she said more directed at herself.

“We should just go back inside,”

“No,” she replied, “I’m happy right here.”

Then there was silence.

The moment lasted for awhile like this, in solitude, not even a sound came out of their lips— perhaps both were lost in their own thoughts, but neither seemed to mind. However, at the same time, they seem to have found themselves satisfied in each others company— until something broke them out of their reveries.

Snow.

The snow softly landed on Aizawa. The first snow. The snow that she’d been waiting for.

It’s snowing.

The surrounding air may be cold, yes. However, the little bit of snow that fell on this very night made up for it immensely. The deck felt brighter now, the coloured lights shone on the falling snow — the winter wonderland that people have often spoken about has finally come.

Instinctively, she brushed off the little snowflakes that had landed on the strands of his hair. Shiraishi had to admit a nervousness started to grip on her. Perhaps it was the sudden realisation of how close Aizawa really was at the moment. He was silent, which comes to no surprise — but Aizawa looked at her with a gentleness that Shiraishi could not help but think about it.

Kiss him, Megumi.

There was something oddly charming about how Aizawa reacted to her actions. Remaining as quiet as he always was, studying curiously as she ran her fingers through his hair. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, that this was reserved for special people in his life—was she even significant enough to be a friend even, she didn’t know. What she did know, is that she wanted him to drag her hand away and pull her over to kiss her. Shiraishi wanted to kiss him.

But she doesn’t.

“Aizawa,” she said curiously instead, “are you cold? Your face is red.”

Aizawa found himself fumbling when he felt the coldness of her fingertips as it brushed his cheek. She shouldn’t really be pointing that out because he noticed her turning red as well, but he doesn’t point that out to her. She hasn’t even removed herself from the close proximity.

Maybe it was the sentimental rush that came with the season, but as he looked at her closely — the warmness of her eyes, the little snowflakes entrapped within the strands of her hair, the winter chill seeping into her cheeks. Seeing her this close brought Aizawa to a singular, encompassing thought.

Kiss her, Kosaku.

He couldn’t help but imagine kissing Megumi Shiraishi — how a kiss would feel like coming from her— how it would taste. Maybe she was just a familiar face. Maybe he was attracted to her — maybe not.The logical part of him wanted to deny it on all fronts. However, at least at that moment, he knew for certain he wanted to kiss her.

But he doesn’t.

Kissing Megumi Shiraishi is something entirely different, he didn’t know what kind of different, but it was different nonetheless — he justified this to himself. He can’t just go around and kiss her.

“Your hand is very cold though,” is what he said instead, diverting himself away from his own thoughts, “do you want to go back inside?”

“No, it’s alright,” she replied as she slowly retracted her hand away— immediately rubbing them together, “let’s stay here for a little bit longer,”

As she was about to place her hand into the thin fabric of her pockets, Aizawa faces her and cups their hands together — slowly blowing, rubbing, warming hers with his.

He did not know why he did it so impulsively, to hold her hands. The action alone could have a detrimental effect on their working relationship — but it could be the opposite. Stupid. Still, he couldn’t explain why the action left him shivering—and it wasn’t from the cold, that he was sure of. It was like he was a little bit excited and a little bit scared—he couldn’t really decipher what could that possibly mean.

“Better?” he asked,

All she could muster was a slight nod as she was a little flustered by the gesture, but was grateful for his sentiment. The action left Shiraishi warmer now — maybe even too warm. Her breathing became a little too heavy as she resisted the urge to kiss his slightly parted lips as he continued to blow warmth on the palms of her hands.

“Shiraishi,” he sighs as he lets go of one of them, “you’ve got to take care of your hands, you know? They’re very important, especially for someone like you.”

“Right,” she responds, looking away — obliviously fidgeting her own fingers.

For a minute or maybe even two, they just stood there — looking at the Christmas tree right in front of them. As the breeze made its way to them, they shut their eyes in sync, closing them— as if to conceal the undeniable change of affection to one another. They haven’t realised yet that one of their hands are still unconsciously left intertwined.

“M-Maybe w—we should go,” Shiraishi said after a moment.

 


Staying longer might lead into something dangerous, like frostbite — or hypothermia. At least that's what they told themselves.

Aizawa and Shiraishi made their way to the elevator, pressing different floors as they entered. He would go 3 floors below — Shiraishi to the lobby, which was a little bit more. As the elevator started to move, they curiously thought of one another — stealing glances, but never caught. 

This was the reality of it all, they were former colleagues, fellows together, that was all it was now. He transferred to Neurosurgery. She stayed in Lifesaving. There was really no more reason for them to stay familiar.

Maybe it’s just Christmas.

Maybe.

Aizawa expected it to wear off— the feeling. He expected it to waver as soon as they left the place. But it hasn’t. There was something about Megumi Shiraishi that somehow made his icy demeanour thaw that night.

Maybe someday.

Maybe soon.

Perhaps it was just something in the moment, but Shiraishi couldn’t shake it out of her head. But watching him, she didn’t expect the thought to linger for more than it should. She thought that it was just something that happens when you’re surrounded by the winter enchantment. 

You’d think that the loud ding of the elevator would snap her out of it— snap her out of this daze.

But it doesn’t.

“Aizawa,” Shiraishi said before he could leave the elevator,

He stopped in his tracks without looking back, holding the elevators doors in his place. He doesn’t say anything like he usually does, but Shiraishi knows in herself that he is simply waiting for her to go on. She realised suddenly she had no reason to call him out until she looked at her watch scurrying for an answer. It was midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Aizawa-kun.”

Maybe it was just the holidays, maybe it’s something else entirely — something real. Something true.

Maybe after a decade or two.

Maybe.

But one thing’s for sure — as the first snow falls, the moment shared between them will surely keep them warm throughout the season.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Merry Christmas, Shiraishi.”

Notes:

Merry Christmas, but to those who don't celebrate it, Happy Holidays! Thank you for all of your support this year. It's been less than a year for me as a writer, but it's been nothing short of interesting. I truly appreciate the comments, the kudos - hell, even knowing that so many of you have read on will never cease to amaze me. May the season bring you good tidings, joy, love, and peace.