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Chapter Text

With one hand on her lower back he stirs her gently past lush rose bushes and glittering water, away from the lively party and towards the private pool house, with the other he holds a bottle of champagne. His suit jacket is lifted oddly on the backside. There’s a flash of a brilliant smile as he leans down to murmur something into the beauty’s ear. Next, she throws her pretty head back in delighted laughter while he grins brightly in satisfaction. They stop shortly before the house’s entrance, so close to each other that he imagines their noses brushing, their breaths mingling, their smiles touching.

Seokjin bites his lip as he watches the scene with unblinking eyes. He holds his breath as she presses closer to Jung Hoseok while he pops the champagne with a smooth flick of his wrist and produces two glasses from behind his back. He can see her shoulders shake with giggles, his gorgeous grin and twinkling eyes. He releases a heavy sigh, deflates as flutes are expertly filled to the brim, as the bottle is put down to allow an arm to snake freely around her middle, to draw her closer, to drink champagne first from his glass, then from her mouth. Seokjin looks down, the familiar sting in his chest peaking. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to be in her place, to be the one laughing in his arms, offering champagne on his lips. He shakes his head. Enough. Huffing, he repositions his hands on the branch and feels out the familiar route down the tree with his feet. He chances one last glance at the couple before the wall cuts off his view, but they are already gone.

With heavy heart and heavy steps he makes his way to the garage. It’s so dumb. Stupid. Silly. He’s such a fool. He’s been a dumb stupid silly fool for stupid five bloody dumb years now and still going strong. He heaves another sigh, kicks a pebble, buries his hands in the depths of his overalls’ pockets.

“Seokjin-hyung.” He straightens his shoulders and lifts his head at the call. Namjoon strides towards him while loosening the tie around his neck, jacket unbuttoned, chauffeur hat in one hand.

He nods at him, “Have you just come home? Aren’t they all at the party?”

Namjoon shrugs. “The old man. Some business or other. Done for the night, though.” He frowns at Seokjin. “You alright? What’s up?” Seokjin forces a smile. Easy, after years of practice. Namjoon steps closer, eyes wandering up to his hairline. He picks a leaf from Seokjin’s head and sighs, “have you been stalking again?”

“No?” Wide-eyed Seokjin tries for an innocent, unaffected look. He obviously fails as his brother answers with pity in his eyes, with worry in the line of his mouth and suddenly, he loses all the energy that’s kept his composure. He slumps his shoulders, drops his gaze, shuffles his feet, can’t think up anything to say, to divert from this particular topic, to avoid the sharp observation of this particular brother.

Another sigh. “Hyung, this is getting to you.” He squeezes the back of Seokjin’s neck, makes him look at Namjoon. Gently, with soft eyes and worry colouring his voice he says, “this needs to end, hyung.” He parts his lips but remains silent as they keep looking at each other. Namjoon sighs, again, as he does so often in his presence nowadays, gives a fleeting smile and throws his arm around his shoulder. “Come on. Jeongguk is waiting.” Together, they walk up the lane then up the stairs to the apartment above the garage.

They are greeted by Jeongguk’s sweet smile and the smell of, what else, when it’s his littlest brother’s turn to make dinner, ramen in the air. Warm and cosy, that’s their home. And an empty chair they haven’t had the heart to push away from the table, yet, even nearly two years after their father’s death. Now, home is the three of them, a kid still in school and two wannabe adults sharing and trying to fill the chauffeur’s suit and mechanic’s overalls that used to be their father’s.

Home is this apartment above the garage of the grand Jung estate, warm beds above Old-timers and Aston Martins, windows with perfect view of the luxurious mansion by the shore. Home is the smell of the ocean, the taste of salt and the sound of Busan’s seagulls but also the fading smell of his father’s cologne, the feel of shoes too big to fill.

It’s a heartthrob a building away, a world apart, with sparkling brown eyes and the brightest smile of mankind. It’s the bittersweet taste of hopeless yearning, of heartaches that scab and get ripped open again when he can’t help following a certain bubbling laughter, yet again, and watch him pour champagne for someone who’s not him, when he wants his dad’s comfort but sees only his empty chair.

Home is the stifling air despite the fresh breeze from the sea, the restlessness of wanting more when he should be happy and grateful for the roof above his head and the safe life he and his brothers are having. Most of the time, home is love and warmth and contentment. Sometimes, like tonight, it’s not enough, and like Namjoon says, it’s getting to him.

“Where-“, Seokjin murmurs, lying under the car, hand feeling for the pliers that he one hundred percent laid down to his right but aren’t there anymore. “Where where where-“

He hears footsteps and suddenly, the pliers lie heavy in his hand. “Oh, there.” He turns his head and catches a glimpse of polished shoes. “Thanks!”, he calls out, quickly fastening the screw and then shuffling forward on his creeper getting out from under the car.

His eyes meet dark honey orbs framed by stylish glasses. Maybe he is trying for a stern accountant’s look, with a turtleneck beneath the designer suit and kempt hair, half of his forehead on display revealing sharp eyebrows. Or maybe he feels cold when it’s nearly 25°C, who knows.

Jung Hoseok’s older half brother, his polar opposite in everything. Where Hoseok is a fountain of joy and laughter and lives life to the fullest his brother cloaks himself in subdued colours, in work and business, keeps quiet and buries his head in numbers and books and rarely manages to turn his lips up in a smile. If Hoseok is the sun, bright and hot, his brother is the pale moon, cool and clouded in mystery. Nevertheless, he recognizes the smile in those eyes even without the actual lift of the corners of the mouth.

“Yoongi-ssi.” Min Yoongi holds out a hand to him.

“How’s my baby?”

Seokjin grins and grabs the offered limb, “she’s as good as new. Are you here for a ride?”

He nearly bounces on his feet when he’s pulled up. Yoongi is stronger than he seems.

“I was hoping to.”

“Go on, I just finished.”

“Thanks.” There’s a pause. Seokjin lets go of his hand.

Yoongi’s eyes flicker from his as he points at a spot on his cheek. “You have a smudge on your-“

Seokjin rolls his eyes and starts rubbing the spot. “Oh, when have I not.”

“Yoongi-hyung!” Seokjin’s eyes widen as his heart skips a beat. Hastily, he bends down to the side mirror of the black Aston Martin and scrubs his cheek harder. Oh no, it’s oil.

“YOONGI! HYUNG HYUNG, WHERE- ah, there you are!” Hoseok bounces towards them, flashing his trademark heart shaped grin and twinkling eyes that his sunglasses can never hide. Unlike his brother, he is dressed according to the weather covered in light silky fabric with colourful patterns and short sleeves. God, his arms. Seokjin cradles his cheek to hide the smudge and straightens. He’s sweating in his overalls. It’s a hot day.

“Ho-Hoseok-ssi-“ Seokjin stammers with burning ears and hammering heart.

Hoseok flashes a gorgeous smile at him and waves in greeting. “Hello!” Then he turns towards Yoongi and starts talking. There and gone again, but it was blinding and his stomach is doing summersaults in the aftermath. He watches him talk without taking in any of the words, mesmerized at the close-up of one Sunnyboy Hoseok. And then he is winking at him, Seokjin’s going to die, and then he’s gone. Seokjin blinks, hand still plastered to his face.

Someone clears his throat. He startles, surprised to see Yoongi who regards him with a tilt to his head. “Can I?” He gestures at the car.

“Oh, sure. Sorry.”

“Thanks.”

Stupid. Stupid. Fool, fool, fool. He’s such a fool. He hasn’t felt this shitty in forever.

“Oh, ah- Hoseok mh-“

“Yeah, baby, you’re so hot, fuck-“

Seokjin steps on the gas when the next traffic light turns to yellow. In the end, he drives through a red light but hell if he cares, it’s dark and the streets are empty. He’s not going to spend a moment longer in this darn car than necessary. Two stops at prior red lights have been enough.

“Hah, God-“

His ears are burning as the air fills with more moans and gasps and kissing sounds. Gripping the wheel he feels himself getting an awkward boner despite it all. Stupid. He hates his life.

Finally, finally, they draw up by the mansion. Quickly, he gets out and opens the back door. He stares straight ahead waiting for Hoseok and company to disentangle themselves long enough to step out. They do so soundly, hands wandering, groping, eliciting further gasps and squeaks and giggles while stumbling out. It’s humiliating, he can’t look at them. The worst is that it’s not the first time this has happened. It’s not the second time, nor the third. There’s a reason why he prefers the overalls and leaves driving mostly to Namjoon.

He closes the door and drives to the garage. Inside, he kills the engine and just drops his head onto the wheel. Again and again.

Someone knocks on the window. Through the glass he hears the muted voice of his brother. “Hyung? What are you doing?”

Resting his head on the wheel he closes his eyes. “Killing myself.”

“…There are more foolproof ways to die in a car, you know.”

“Joon-ah, don’t get smart with a dying man. Let me go in peace.” Namjoon huffs. At last, he lets his brother drag him out of the car and up the stairs whining all the while.

“Seokjin-hyung, we need to talk.”

“Hm?” Seokjin looks up from his book to see his two brothers staring at him with serious expressions. His mouth drops open, a hundred scenarios flashing through his mind as to why they’d need to talk with grave looks like that.

“Is everything alright? Oh God, did they throw Jeongguk out of school? Joon-ah, did you break something expensive? I told you to keep your trips to the museums to a minimum! Oh God, it-“

“Hyung! No-“

“-was a squirrel in the oven , wasn’t it? That’s so terrible-“

“Hyung, I got my driver’s license.”

“Poor squ- you what?” Jeongguk grins with bunny teeth, broad and proud, his eyes forming crescents. “I got my license, now I can help chauffeuring, too!”

Seokjin is speechless, his eyes flickering between Jeongguk’s happy grin and Namjoon’s dimpled smile and watchful eyes assessing his reaction.

“You- you did it secretly? You-“ He points at Namjoon. “You knew? I- how did you pay it, I never noticed- when?”

“After school, and you’re so busy it wasn’t hard to hide-“ His words sting. He doesn’t want his baby brother to feel the need to hide things from him. He knows he can always count on his support. This, though…

“Guk-ah, we’ve talked about this, I don’t want you to work while being in school-“, he frowns at Namjoon, “you endorse this?” Jeongguk sniffs rolling his eyes, “Hyung-“

Namjoon takes a seat next to Seokjin and smiles, “yeah, I do. He’s a big guy, now. Having a license is useful. And Guk-ah wanted to do this and you know how stubborn he is. I trust him to do well in balancing school and work. Have faith.”

Seokjin swallows. Since when are his brothers so mature? “But… Namjoon, you and I, we are doing fine with work…”

Namjoon’s smile drops from his face. “That’s the thing, hyung, we’re not fine. You’re not fine. You spend so much time in the garage it’s like you’re hiding and when you’re driving you come home with…” Seokjin averts his eyes. Namjoon’s hand closes around his. “You’re sad, Seokjin, more often than not, and, you’re getting worse, and. It hurts to see you like this and we want to help.”

“Yeah, we’re three,” Jeongguk chimes in, “you don’t have to take care of us all the time, we can care for you, too, for a change, that’s what brothers do, caring for each other. I want you to be happy, too.”

He sees the big sad eyes of his brother and feels a lump building in his throat. He didn’t know that his mood has affected them so much as of late. He didn’t see. Blinking against the wetness in his eyes he says, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry to make you worry.”

Namjoon squeezes his hand. “We can’t help it, worrying about each other is what brothers do, as well.” Especially if they only have themselves and no parents who watch over them.

A tear runs down his face. He chokes out, “I miss Appa.”

Namjoon brushes his tears away tenderly. “I know. I know. I miss him, too. It’s not just that, though, is it?”

Blinking against the mist he sees his knowing stare. He thinks of sparkling brown eyes and heart shaped smiles, of bright laughter in the distance while he scrapes his knees against rough bark, of the sound of kissing in the backseat drowned only by the sound of his breaking heart. Of all those nights that chip at his bittersweet dreams so that they lose the sweet coating and leave only bitterness.

“We have a plan, hyung!” Jeongguk exclaims, drawing his attention back to him. “You remember cousin Tae? Well, we talked to him and he was immediately on board with the plan and is excited to have you stay at his place for as long as you want! He’s-“

“Hold on, hold on, what? What plan what? Stay where? Tae as in Taehyung?” He stares between them with wide eyes, confused.

“You’re going to Seoul, Seokjin! Take a break, study or chill or do whatever you want in Seoul!” Jeongguk claps his hands excitedly in tiny, bright eyes focused on him, waiting for his response. He parts his lips to protest but before he can get a word in edgeways Namjoon cuts in, “before you draw up a hundred reasons to not go. One,“ he holds up a finger, “Guk-ah and I will handle things here, now, that he has a license, too. Two, Seoul was your plan all along, before- before dad got sick, so. I know some part of you surely wants to go. And three,” he looks sternly at Seokjin, “it’s time to take care of yourself. The last two years have been rough and you need a break. And sometimes, you have to leave home for a while to find peace and happiness. Okay?”

Taking a break, distance himself from his troubles in Busan, leaving his beloved brothers to fend for themselves. Wouldn’t that be running away? But Seoul was a dream of his, once, before it died along with his father. Hoseok was- is- a dream of his, but it is dying, too, with every passing day, with every champagne shared with someone new in the pool house. Dreams die because of circumstances; can’t they be revived as well by the same? He finds himself wanting to try. It’s not really running away if he’s running towards something, right? Have faith.

He smiles at his brothers, wipes away the last tears. Seeing the change in their hyung, both of them heave a sigh of relief, grinning from ear to ear and sharing proud glances between each other. Thinking of, it was probably not easy for them to talk to him about this, to make him see their point. It warms his heart. He has the best brothers in the world and loves them more than anything.

He smacks his thighs when he gets up, “well, this calls for lamb-skewers, if you ask me. We need to celebrate baby Jeongguk getting a license!” His brother scowls, “Don’t call me a baby! I’m grown-up and working!” Namjoon and Seokjin start laughing while Jeongguk fights to keep the frown on his face and fails.

Two weeks later, he is loading his luggage into the car, excited and scared of the adventure before him but determined to go through with it.

“Are you leaving?”

He peeks over his shoulder and sees Yoongi standing at the entrance of the garage.

“Oh, hey, Yoongi-ssi.” He smiles at him, but today the frown remains on Yoongi’s face, eyes and lips untouched by his usual secret smile even if they soften as they focus on him.

He nudges his bags and tries to fit more into the backseat. “Yeah, yeah I’m leaving.”

“Where to? For how long? ”

“Seoul. And- for a while.”

Yoongi tilts his head, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. “Taking a vacation?”

He shrugs, unsure how to answer. He doesn’t know what he’s setting out to find. Respite? Yes, but maybe something more. A different profession, a different, better life that appeals to him. A new beginning. He meets Yoongi’s eyes who considers him.

“Are you going to come back?”

His eyes widen. “Of course, this is home. My brothers are here.” There’s the secret smile. “Good. I don’t trust anyone else with my baby, you know.”

Seokjin laughs. “You’ll have to make do with Namjoon. He’s pretty good, you know. In theory.”

“In theory”, Yoongi repeats drily, “Might I remind you that we’re neighbours since childhood and I’ve seen unbreakable things break in his hands?” Seokjin snorts. It’s true, his brother is a menace with an encyclopaedic knowledge but bad execution skills. Yoongi huffs, “Maybe I should take up a manual and do the repairs myself until you come back.”

Seokjin laughs again. “That I have to see. Prodigy CEO Min Yoongi rolling up the sleeves of his designer shirt getting all greasy beneath a car.”

“Watch me.”

He grins. “I’m going to miss the cars.”

“Good. So you’ll have to come back.”

“Yeah.”

When he leaves it’s with a laughing and a crying eye. In the rear view mirror he sees the gates of the Jung Estate closing, sees the mansion moving further and further away. He’ll miss his brothers dearly but a thrill tingles through his body as he slowly realizes that for the first time in his life, he gets to do this for himself, gets the luxury of leaving his troubles behind, to reorientate, to focus on himself and his wants. To take the time to figure out what he wants in the first place. What he wants…

Twinkling eyes and a bright smile, a laugh that bubbles like champagne itself. He’s like sand in your pockets after a day on the beach. You brush it off and believe you’re rid of it only to find it in the most inconvenient places.

The taste of the ocean lingers long after he has left Busan.

Chapter Text

Seokjin is familiar with busy streets and flocks of tourists, with flashing lights and endless advertisement bills. But Seoul is…Seoul is something else.

Seoul is more neon lights and more flashing screens, faces of idols and actresses plastered on facades and vehicles, bigger crowds and broader streets. It’s nightlife without peer, with beautiful people partying in the hottest bars and clubs, it’s night shopping, walks along the glittering Han River, music and food everywhere.

Seoul is art, in the way tradition and popculture live side by side in architecture, in the music and food. You see old women in hanboks and teenagers wearing Chanel. You go to the National Museum by day and to the sold-out concert of popular idol groups by night. There’s Lotte World and palaces, skyscrapers and Hanok Village. There’s everything, there’s so much to see, to do, it’s overwhelming. To Seokjin, who’s spent the majority of his life in the usually peaceful Jung estate, who’s been to the city mostly only on duty, Seoul is a pot of overstimulation. He’s glad that Taehyung is there to take him by the hand showing him the metropolis.

His cousin is basically Seoul personified. He’s one of a kind. His handsome face could easily sit next to those of idols and actors on the advertisement bills if he didn’t prefer the role behind the camera. It stands to reason that he lives fashion as a designer, changing between Gucci suit and denim wear, grandpa style and hipster look like a tourist discovering neighbourhood after neighbourhood in just a few days. He’s a people person drawing attention, seeking it and giving it in return with joy. His social circle ranges from celebrities and fellow designers to the florist next door or the old woman he often meets in the park. With bouts of energy he keeps up with the fast pace of the city, dragging Seokjin around for sightseeing, discovering the nightlife, tasting new food and trying out outrageous fashion styles. And just as naturally he sets the brake, looks past glittering towers to watch the diamonds in the sky, counts blades of grass with his toes, saves earthworms from the footway, sings with birds and talks to flowers. His camera and sketchbook are his constant companions and when inspiration strikes he is unstoppable. Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love and his heart is big. Taehyung alias Vante is an uprising artist whose limit isn’t the moon and the sun, it’s the next galaxy. He lives and breathes, and is art himself.

It takes some time to get used to his amazing, weird cousin, though.

“Rise and shine, Seokjin-hyung!” Seokjin groans as a heavy body climbs on top of his, suffocating him beneath his blanket.

“Wakey, wakey!”

“Tae- uff!” He rolls with all the strength he can gather in the morning and manages to put Taehyung off balance. The weight lifts off him with a subsequent thump and grunt. He props himself up to squint at Taehyung lying on the floor showing his boxy smile.
“Come on, it’s a special day!”

“Why?”, Seokjin croaks, voice still full of sleep. He rubs his eyes frowning. It’s still months till December, so special day can’t be either of their birthdays.

Taehyung jumps to his feet. “I stayed awake all night to analyse your woes and situation and character after our talk about your life and one Jung Hoseok, and then I looked at the stars and came to the conclusion that the moon is in Balenciaga and blonds rule the tenth house so we’re going shopping!”

“What-“ the fuck. Taehyung. He groans. His cousin is asking too much brainwork of him this early in the day. He needs a couple of seconds before the words sink in. Ah, Seokjin’s sulking and wallowing in self-pity, yesterday, when the wine loosened his tongue and opened his heart. How embarrassing, he can feel himself blushing to his ears. And then he stayed awake all night? How can he look so fresh without any sleep? And he did what?

“Tae- Taehyung-ah, please talk human.”

“We need to up your mating ritual skills, and I’ll be your teacher. Up, up!”

“M-my- w-what?!”, he stammers as he is dragged out of bed mercilessly.

He gets a makeover, is what makes it a special day for Taehyung. He gushes over Seokjin’s physique, especially his broad shoulders, his flawless skin and gorgeous face, throws clothes from his closet and workshop at him and decides he needs more, dragging him from shop to shop. He forces accessories on him, confuses him long enough until he is sitting in a piercing studio and gets one ear pierced before he knows what’s happening. He saves his other ear with a cry, slapping the needle away when it draws close.

He turns blond in the next shop and thinks, hair grows out, it’s just a colour and actually he doesn’t really mind indulging his cousin, he is after all generously letting him stay at his place for free.

He is to use these skin care products from now on, alright, and he is very handsome barefaced but framing your features a little bit never hurts so this is the makeup for the occasion. And pink sweaters and casual wear is cute and all but silk and suits is where it’s at when you have shoulders like these and a waist like that. Seokjin nods and nods and tries the occasional ‘no’ which falls on deaf ears so he resumes nodding at everything Taehyung throws at him. It’s a long day, and by the time they’re back home it’s still not over. Taehyung makes him try out all the outfits and do a catwalk, shoots pictures from all angles excitedly, says he’s found a new muse in him. Well, it is flattering and does boost his ego a healthy amount.

He pushes Seokjin down onto the couch and puts a drink in his hand. It’s neon orange.

“Sit. Drink. Relax. Now,” his cousin claps his hands, unperturbed by Seokjin’s wary glance at the drink. “We took excellent care of your looks, now we have to delve deeper! Let’s tickle out the full magnitude of your charm! Show me what you’ve got!” He crosses his arms and looks expectantly at Seokjin.

“Huh?”

“Be charming! Now!”

“Eh?”

“Swoop me off my feet with magic! Be funny, tell a joke!” Seokjin frowns in confusion which seems to become his default response to most things leaving Taehyung’s mouth.

“I’m…not…funny?”

“Ha, ha, I see you’re going for irony, not the easiest kind of humour but tastier than sarcasm. Hm, it needs work.”

“Taehyung-“

“Ah, try making a funny face? Like this.” Taehyung makes a funny face. Seokjin laughs.

Taehyung grins, “Aw, your laugh is great, very good, good good good, so now onto the next point-“ Seokjin blushes, the thing is, Taehyung is a pure soul. When he says things like that, when he compliments him it’s honest and does wonders for his confidence. He’s always thought his laugh was too high and squeaky, he’s thought that he looked okay, nothing more, nothing less, and that his broad shoulders were, if anything, rather inconvenient when shopping for shirts. He smiles and decides to try the orange drink.

“-let’s practice the mating ritual!”

Seokjin chokes on the juice.

He means dancing, Jesus Christ. But the way he executes it, mating ritual may be a better description.

So they go clubbing. His outfit passes the first test when the bouncer waves them in as soon as they arrive. And then it’s the thrum of music vibrating through his body, Taehyung’s hand on the back of his neck pressing their foreheads together and staring into his soul. They move to the beat as sweat pools in the crevice of his neck, as he flushes while Taehyung’s hand on his waist guides him backwards deeper into the crowd, swaying hips. The fingers on his nape draw back to caress his cheek while Taehyung leans back slightly, his other hand vanishing behind his right ear and suddenly producing a red rose out of thin air. Seokjin bursts out laughing in surprise as Taehyung grins delightfully. He puts the flower in Seokjin’s hair and leans close to his ear, “I’ll be nearby to watch you, don’t worry.” He kisses him on the cheek and then he’s gone, carried away by the mass of dancing people.

Seokjin blinks, unsure of what to do. Should he follow him? What does he mean? But before he can think further, there’s a light touch to his elbow, a hand on his waist, a smirk on a handsome face. The body presses closer as he doesn’t protest, the questioning eyes turning sultry as they start swaying to the music together. Seokjin flushes feeling hot. It’s new and exciting.  The few times he went clubbing he was still in school dragged along by some friends, most of the time standing shyly around the bar as, of course, the designated driver. But this, the heat of their bodies, the mingling breath, the pooling sweat on his flushed skin, the pulsing beat of the music in his blood – it makes his heart pound and awakens butterflies in his stomach. He bites his lips as the guy presses even closer and their noses brush with the tilt of his head. They’re a breath, a heartbeat apart, a touch away from fireworks when he is suddenly spun around. Taehyung drapes an arm over his shoulder winking at him before hooking his chin over his shoulder.

Seokjin blinks in confusion feeling hot all over. It happened so fast. When he casts a look over his shoulder the guy he’s been dancing with is gone.

It’s fun, his life in Seoul. Modelling for Taehyung, the photoshoots, the adventures by day, the clubbing and flirting by night. He gets more confident, needs his ‘teacher’ less and less to convince himself of his qualities. He smiles at his reflection, gets used to blond, then pink, grey, purple, brown, and doesn’t miss the oil smudges. Not long after he arrives in Seoul he discovers a small restaurant with simple yet exceptionally delicious seafood and cosies up to the owner and chef, an elderly woman who is weak for his newly acquired dad jokes and delights in his overall charm and good looks. She would have set him up with her daughter if only she had one. So, she does the next best thing and takes him on as an apprentice, teaching him cooking and where to buy the best ingredients, lets him test his jokes on the customers.

Seokjin thrives.

He texts his brothers everyday, misses them, and calls them weekly. Namjoon’s eyes go wide with longing for all the museums while Jeongguk perks up at his stories about street performances, food markets and amusement parks.

And the urge to ask about Hoseok fades after a while. Sometimes he walks down the streets of Seoul and expects to see his face on the walls and screens next to the other beautiful people because it’s kind of a shame that his gorgeous, blinding looks aren’t on display for the whole world to see. Sometimes he imagines meeting Hoseok in one of the clubs. They’d be just two bodies in a sea of people, no Jung, no Kim, just two Seoks whose eyes meet, drawn to each other. They’d dance together chest to chest, talk with lips to ear, pressing closer, brushing nose and breath, touching lips.

“Hm, what’s tasty in Busan?” A sweet voice murmurs.

Hoseok glances up from the buffet. Next to him, a guy is pondering over food and oh. Oh. He puts the plate down and turns his whole body towards the man giving him all of his attention because oh, he looks fine.

“Oh, you look fine.” At that, the man looks up in surprise, then laughs like music, bending his gorgeous head, silver hair falling into his glittering eyes. The lingering smile is beautiful and oh, Hoseok is in love. He flashes his most radiant smile. “You.”

The man tilts his head in question, eyes still sparkling with amusement. “I’m sorry?” Hoseok steps closer and fixes him with his smolder.

“What’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen? Whose laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard?” The beauty blushes as Hoseok’s fingers start wandering lightly from his elbow up to his shoulder. “Who has the most mesmerizing eyes I’ve ever looked into?” He leans closer, brushing silver strands behind his ear and murmurs into them, “What’s tasty in Busan? You.”

The door flies open. “Yoongi-hyung! Yoongi, Yoongi!” Yoongi signs the paper and gives it back to his assistant. “And set up a meeting with Bang, I want this finalized by the end of the month.”

“I’ve met someone-“

“And tell Jang-“

“-really, I’m not kidding-“

“-in case she calls-“

“-he’s special, different than everyone else-“

“-that I’ll get back to her in a few minutes. That’ll be all.” The assistant bows and leaves the room.

“-like, he’s really something-“ Yoongi sighs and finally looks at his brother.

“So what’s the problem?”

“I’ve invited him over to dinner this Friday and I need you and mother not to diss me-“ Yoongi frowns and closes his eyes. Maybe he can squeeze in a nap while his brother talks and talks, win something from this interruption.

“I need to leave a good impression. He’s smart, really smart.”

“That’s a new one.”

“He’s a paediatrician. And Gorgeous!” Huh, he squints at Hoseok.

“How did you meet him?”

“At the party, the party, the life-changing, earth-rocking, turn-my-world-upside-down, burst-my-heart and kill-me-softly-with-love-and-smoky-eyes party!” Hoseok makes a dying noise clutching his heart with both of his hands and closes his eyes while he falls backwards onto the couch.

“Park Jimin is perfect”, he sighs, bliss written on his face. Yoongi perks up at the name. Paediatrician Park Jimin… He straightens in his chair.

“As in, Park Fisheries Co.?” Hoseok stares dreamily at the ceiling.

“Park? I don’t know Park, but I know Jimin…” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Umma, your skin is glowing, what did you do gorgeous?” Hoseok bends down to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hoseok, you invited someone to dinner?” His eyes light up.

“Yes, someone special, he’s fantastic, you’ll love him! I love him and I want him to love me, too, so please when you meet him make me look good!” He shoots puppy eyes at his mother, pouting, then flashing his winning smile.

“Tell him about my accomplishments!” Yoongi snorts.

“Lie, be creative!” His mother rolls her eyes and shares a look with Yoongi. In that moment their father enters with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Good morning”, he bends down to peck his wife on the lips then takes a seat at the table.

Yoongi says, “Guess what, Hoseok is seeing the son of Park Pilwoo.”

Jung Jungho raises an eyebrow, “Oh? Is that so?” He looks at Hoseok who shrugs, grinning, “He says his folks know you.”

His father takes out his phone and makes a call. “Jihoon, give me Sungho. Sungho I want you to start buying up chunks of Park stock. Not so much that anyone would notice. Thank you.”

“Hmm, you were wrong, you know.”

Hoseok heaves a sigh, blissed out as Jimin lies half on top of him tracing patterns on his chest. He feels his eyes drooping. “Hmm? ‘bout what?”

“About what’s tastiest in Busan.” Jimin props himself up to look at him with his twinkling eyes and soft smile and God, does he want to kiss him. He leans up and kisses him.

Jimin laughs into his mouth, his body rumbling above his.

“Hoseok, it’s you.”

Hoseok squeals and rolls on top of Jimin smothering him in kisses making him giggle. “Oh, how are you so perfect and cute and sexy!” When he lets up again he sighs contently, “Can you imagine, my family actually likes you and I like you and you like me and wow.”

Jimin laughs. “Well, mine likes you, too. Or rather, the possibility of a trillion won merger with Jung Trading. You know, I’ve been thinking.”

“Hm, thinking is sexy.” That gets him a slap on the chest.

“Focus, darling. So, my family and your family both approve. And you and I, we fit pretty well,” Hoseok grins. “I don’t know about you, but my parents have tried to set me up with countless people and I always thought an arranged marriage was going to be my fate until I met you.” Jimin gives him lovey-dovey eyes and oh, oh no. Oh no no no don’t say it don’t say it-

“Why don’t we marry?”

“M-marry?”, Hoseok stutters in sync with his heart.

“You know, the thing where we become kinda roommates,” Jimin looks like he tries really hard to stifle a laugh in the face of Hoseok’s growing panic, “sharing one bed,” fingers trail from his heaving chest down to his navel, “helping each other out of our underwear on occasion.”

Hoseok sucks in a breath when nimble fingers travel further down, hot and teasing while Jimin’s stare turns sultry. Hoseok grabs his hand stopping its advance and narrows his eyes at his lover. “Are you trying to seduce me into marriage?” Jimin bursts out laughing and buries his head in the crevice of his neck. He kisses him there, his naughty hand vanishing from his groins to slap Hoseok on his chest. “Just think about it, Hoseok, marriage in our case would be a smart move.”

Time flies by and before long, two years have passed since Seokjin has left Busan. He didn’t know he needed this so much, this time and place to find himself, to breathe new air, to reset. Namjoon was right, sometimes you need distance to clear your head. He’s found what he came for in Seoul, is happy where he is, who he is right now. But his heart is and will always be in Busan beating for his brothers and the ocean just as the Jungs and his father’s legacy will always be a part of him. He feels the longing for home like the ocean tides, waning and weak when Seoul is distracting enough, then growing and tearing at him when he yearns and yearns for his family.

Now, his heart is calm and his head clear. When he makes the decision it’s not out of weakness, or heartache, or fear. When he makes the decision he is happy and confident and excited for a new adventure. He goes home because he wants to.

“Seokjin-hyung, there’s something you should know. Jung Hoseok is engaged.”

Chapter Text

A pothole. And then a rattling sound. “What what what”, he’s so close to home, almost there, “no no no no baby don’t-“ With wide-eyes and regretfully accurate foresight he swerves off the lane to the side of the road just in time.

For his car to die.

“Noooooo.” Darling. Baby. Love of his life. After hours of driving, his car is abandoning him twenty minutes away from a bathroom, a drink, a bed. From home home home. When the engine stays still after trying to start it again Seokjin drops his head onto the wheel. He groans. Someone is testing him and he’s gonna sue them because you do not test the patience of Kim Seokjin. With a sigh he gets out of the car, stretches his limbs before opening the hood and bending over to figure out the problem. He had planned to check his car before making his way home but he simply forgot. And now it’s biting him in the ass. There, the fuel pipe all rusty, broken and there, somewhere the %&”#*$@§ pothole giving it the killing blow. He swears that pothole wasn’t there two years ago. He supports himself on the car staring into the engine compartment and contemplates life.

The eighth wonder of the world. Hoseok is driving home in his convertible when he sees it. On the side of the road a Hyundai is parked with opened hood. Ah, maybe a broken car and someone in need of help? Good manners make him slow down. As he nears it’s revealed to him in bits and parts. First, pretty fingers gripping the side of the car attached to a nice arm, the light pink shirt’s sleeve ending above the elbow, stretching nicely around, hm, quite decent biceps. Next, long, long lithe legs in denim that hugs thighs and ass like- wow, ok, sold, he’s sold, broken car and long legs in distress? Lucky you, Hoseok is here to save your gorgeous ass. He’ll be your hero today.

He makes for the side of the road to park. In that moment, the person straightens and leans back from under the hood revealing blonde hair. And then, and then the head turns to him and Hoseok nearly crashes into the bushes when instead of braking he steps on the gas pedal in shock. He comes to a screeching halt in front of the Hyundai and clutches his flipping heart. He was nearly killed by an angel. A Hyundai driving, denim-wearing angel. Death spares him which means he gets another chance to look at the breathtaking beauty. He steps out of his Porsche and takes off his sunglasses. The stranger, meanwhile, has fully turned towards him and what a sight. Hoseok’s eyes travel from the jeans clad legs to the- it’s a slow and long travel for his eyes up the legs as they linger on soft, soft thighs peeking through outrageously ripped jeans, holy- he didn’t know they make jeans like that- and when he finally manages to tear his eyes away he takes in a delicate waist and a toned upper body in silky pink that end in the broadest shoulders he’s ever met. Wow. Wow. He sighs at the shoulders, what a time to be alive that he is graced with the presence of these shoulders. Wow.

“H-h-hello!” The angel speaks and joy to the world, Hoseok feels like he’s ascending to the heavens. It’s the loveliest blush on the most ethereal face he’s ever seen. Big doe eyes stare back at him, full lips parted and looking soft, so pillowy soft and pink and oh, Hoseok is in danger. He’s rendered speechless, something that happens maybe once every decade. Shaking himself out of the stupor he collects his jaw from the ground and strides closer smilingly. “Hello there, do you need help?”

The man blushes further which, how can someone be so gorgeous and adorable at the same time?

“I-I-I- my- I mean, my car-“ It’s distracting, the way he runs his fingers through his silky hair, gesturing at the car, arms flexing with the motions. His eyes are wide and shining with such innocence it’s ah, Hoseok wants to squish his cheeks he’s so cute.

“Your car is broken?”

“Y-yeah. It’s broken.” The man huffs, red-faced.

“Well, maybe I can help?” Hoseok leans over the engine compartment to look at the problem. “Hm. Hm hm hmm.”

He hears a snort and looks up. The guy is holding a hand over his mouth hiding a smile that’s already reached his pretty eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- have you found the problem?”

He grins in return. “The problem is that I know naught about fixing a car.” That gets him a laugh, a cute, high-pitched squeaky laugh and- is everything about this man adorable? Because it’s hard to handle, he really wants to hold his hand and bop his nose.

“But I know someone who can!” He turns his smile up a notch leaning closer. The stranger’s eyes go wide.

“Please, I could get your car to my place, it’s not far from here and have someone look it over. And in the meantime,” He sees the luggage in the backseat, “seems like you’ve had a long ride. You could rest a bit.” He tilts his head biting his lips, “Or have a drink. With me.” The guy looks at him with big eyes and parted lips, red to the ears.

“O-okay.”

“Great! Come on!”

“Ah, let me-“ He grabs a backpack and duffle bag and locks the car, then follows Hoseok to the Porsche. Hoseok is excited. He starts the car. What a great day. He has the most gorgeous angel in his car and- ah. “I’m Hoseok by the way. What’s your name?” He glances sideways to see the guy looking funnily at him, a mixture between wonder and amusement. “I’m…Jin.”

“Jin. Nice to meet you, Jin.”

“…Nice to meet you, too.” He looks at him again. Something…there’s something familiar about him. “Do I know you?” The beauty stares at him, humour twinkling in his eyes as he tries yet again to hide a smile behind his hand. He’s intriguing and oh, Hoseok wants more than a drink with Jin. “What? Don’t tell me I know you?”

Jin laughs his unapologetically honest, pure laugh, eyes crinkling, white teeth flashing, wide shoulders shaking. He’s beautiful, bewitching, so pure, so unlike anyone he’s ever met. Hoseok is in love.

“Please, have we met?” Jin hums, neither denying nor confirming. Fascinated, Hoseok uses every chance to glance from the road to regard Jin.

“So, where have you been, where are you travelling to?”

“Seoul, and I’m going home.”, Jin says with a soft smile.

“Seoul, wow, and where are you from? Where’s home?” Again, the amused glint in the eyes.

“Busan. By the ocean.” He closes his eyes and tilts his head back, chest heaving with a deep breath, seemingly enjoying the wind in his face and hair.

“I could have sworn I knew every beauty on these shores.”

“I could have sworn you took in more territory than that.”, Jin quips.

Hoseok clutches his heart with a grin, “Ouch.” Wit and beauty, what a wonderful, charming treat. Hoseok is so enchanted. “A party, we’ve met at a party?”

Jin’s smile widens while he keeps his eyes closed. “No.”

“Where? Where have we met?” The question is burning him, he’s sure that they’ve met, now, but where where where.

“School, we went to school together?” Jin laughs and shakes his head, “No.”

At a gala, a meeting, the beach, the mall, Hoseok spends the ride guessing and getting laughed at, not that he minds, he’s already addicted to the wonderful laugh.

They arrive at the estate. He parks his car in the garage and smiles at Jin as they step out.

“Welcome to the Jung estate! Now, lets see if we can find anyone to take care of your car…NAM- ah, Yoongi-hyung!” His brother is walking towards the garage looking at his phone. At the call he glances up. “Hoseok.” His eyes move on to Jin and widen slightly. “Seokjin. You’re back.” What-

“You know each other?”

“Hello Yoongi-ssi.” Hold on, Seokjin Seokjin Seokjin as in - no. No WAY-

“Seokjin?!”, Hoseok splutters.

“Seoul was agreeable, I see. You look good.”

“Seokjin?!!!!”, Hoseok looks between them in bewilderment, flailing, shocked.

“Thank you, yes, Seoul was great.”

“KIM SEOKJIN?!”

Yoongi turns to him, frowning, “What’s gotten into you, there’s no need to yell, he’s standing right next to you.” He gapes at his brother, then at Seokjin who fails to stifle a laughter. 

“Kim Seokjin, chauffeur’s eldest son and resident mechanic!” He points a finger at Seokjin, “You can fix your own car!”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Really, Hoseok.”

Seokjin doubles over laughing while Hoseok is shaken to the core. This is Seokjin, they know each other, like since childhood?! He knows his cars! He knows his brothers! He chauffeurs him! What! How hasn’t he noticed? He’s changed, that’s it- no! He went to Seoul and sent home a clone, THAT’s it! How? How how how was he so blind!

After calming down, Seokjin bows to him. “Hoseok-ssi, I’m sorry, please forgive the little joke.” Hoseok splutters, “Please, no, I should be sorry, I should have noticed! And please, it’s Hoseok, don’t be so formal, we’ve known each other since we were kids!”

Seokjin blushes, grinning happily. “Okay. Hoseok.” His smile is mesmerizing. It turns into an ‘o’ when he takes his hand, “Please, Seokjin, let me make it up to you. The offer still stands. Have a drink with me. There’s a party here this evening and I would love for you to come. I would love to get to know you better.”

There’s wonder in Seokjin’s eyes, and something else. They shine like stars and Hoseok is lost in them. Seokjin, chauffer’s son and mechanic, makes his heart soar. He wants to write a sonnet about his beauty, wants to compose a song, to sing, to rap about the burning craving ignited in him at the sight of one Kim Seokjin.

The gorgeous smile is back in full force as Seokjin answers. “Okay.”

“Seokjin-hyung!” A whirl of black and suddenly Seokjin is gone, buried in a tight hug by both of his brothers. There’s laughter and loud cries before he’s dragged away.

“What was that?”, Yoongi asks.

He looks at him. There’s a deep frown on his face, something sour in the line of his mouth. Oh, emotions on his brother. “What?”

“You’re engaged, Hoseok. And that’s Seokjin. Cut the crap.” Yoongi scowls at him. Wow, someone is in a mood. “What were you thinking, inviting him to the party?”

“What? It’s just a party, he lives here, why shouldn’t he go, the more the merrier.”

“You- and where is Jimin? Weren’t you supposed to pick him up from the airport?” He shrugs.

“Jimin postpones for two weeks, some emergency or other at the hospital and a change in the rota.”

Yoongi huffs exasperatedly, glancing at the windows above the garage then at his Rolex. At last, his eyes fix him with a stern glare. “Listen, I gotta go, but this isn’t over. You’re engaged, Hoseok. Don’t fucking mess around, Jimin is good to you and the three trillion won merger is good for Jung Trading, so don’t you dare play around.”

“Trust me I’m not playing around!” Yoongi snorts, looking away annoyed.

“You didn’t even recognize him, did you?”

“So what? He’s changed- did you see him? He’s so, he’s special, Yoongi, I want to learn more about him, how can you blame me?”

“Yeah, how can I blame you”, Yoongi mutters under his breath eyes wandering back to the apartment above the garage. He spares him one last sideglance before moving to his car, saying in passing, “You don’t know him at all, do you?”

Home sweet home. Seokjin can’t stop smiling. It was the best decision in his life to go to Seoul and an even better one to return home. He feels invigorated, happy. So happy to have his brothers close again, to find his bed, his things in the same places, unchanged, to listen to his brothers’ voices and the ocean in the background.

“What was that?”

“What?” Seokjin keeps on sorting his clothes into the closet feigning ignorance, though he knows his ears betray him always, and he knows that Namjoon knows that he knows. Heck.

“Hyung.” Seokjin sighs. “My car broke down like, twenty minutes from here and”, he’s careful to keep his face turned to the closet hiding his dopey smile, “he happened to pass by. Oh, we should probably get it, do you think-“

“And he picked you up, huh? In both senses.”

“Namjoon!” Seokjin whips around shooting him an indignant look.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, “What, am I wrong?”

“Yah,” Seokjin blushes, returning to his folded clothes, smoothing out wrinkles that aren’t there. He takes a deep breath, “He invited me to the party tonight.”

“What?” Namjoon comes closer taking the shirt out of his hand. Looking up he sees surprise written on his brother’s face. “And you’re going?”

He bites his lip to keep his grin at bay. “Yes.” He’s going to the party. He’s going to one of Jung’s glittering, glamorous parties, playground of the beautiful and rich and for once, he’ll be one of the players. He’ll be part of this sparkling world he’s only ever watched from afar, without leaves in his hair and scratches on hands and knees. And there’ll be Hoseok. Hoseok who’ll be waiting for him, looking at him, giving him the time of day.

“Jesus, Seokjin.”

He knows that look on Namjoon’s face. It’s one breath away from a sigh, a frown, a worried tilt of his mouth.

“What?”, he retorts defensively taking back the shirt.

His brother shakes his head. “I can’t believe- you’re still not over him?” Seokjin looks away staring out of the window. His eyes find the mansion beyond the trees. How do you get over one Jung Hoseok? Years of Namjoon talking sense into him didn’t work, years of Seoul don’t seem to have, either. Out of sight was never truly out of mind, and now, with the full impact of Hoseok’s attention on him, he can only lose. He feels the familiar ache in his chest building, the same daydreams bubbling to the surface-

“I can’t watch this.” Namjoon stands up and starts pacing the room.

“Joon-ah-“ His brother rounds on him pointing a finger at him. He looks…angry?

“No. You listen. Hoseok is engaged. And whatever this is, that he”, here he points in the direction of the mansion, “started today,” he throws his arms up then drops them, “is going to hurt you. You know him, you know he’s a playboy. What are you expecting from him?”

He looks beseechingly at him and Seokjin finds himself at a loss for an answer. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting, he just- he just wants. He’s dreamt this dream for so long and now, more than ever, he’s hopeful.

“See? Barely two hours in and he’s already dragging you down!” He runs his fingers through his hair, “I swear, that Hoseok, if he-“

“Don’t-“

“-hurts you, I’m gonna-“

“Namjoon!” His brother stops in his tracks turning back to him, deflating when he sees the look on his face.

Seokjin blinks, “Stop. Right now, you’re dragging me down.” He drops his gaze to the shirts and pants. “I know. I know, Joon,” he takes a shuddering breath. “I just. Let me have this. I’ve always wanted to go to one of those parties. Let me have this.” He stares back out of the window. A light breeze fans across his face carrying the taste of salt. He hasn’t been to the beach in two years. He imagines the sand between his toes, the sun burning on bare skin, the glittering ocean. He hasn’t touched seawater in so long.

He feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Hyung, I’m sorry, I got carried away.” There’s the soft dimpled smile of his brother, the worried wrinkles smoothed out with an apologetic look in his eyes. “I’m just worried. But, I trust you to know what you’re doing. And if you want to go to the party then I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.” His dimples deepen as he winks at him, “And smash it with your good looks, buddy.” That gets a laugh out of Seokjin. His brother. Unbearably smart and uncannily observant. He’s glad to have him.

“Help me get the car?”

“Of course.”

A simple, yet fine black suit, a silky white shirt underneath, coiffed hair with revealed forehead. Where he goes eyes and whisper follow him, curious sideglances interrupting conversations, hands grabbing for flutes of champagne missing their mark, heads turning left and right. Cinderella has entered the ball and the upper crust is shaking. But Seokjin doesn’t see it, has only eyes for one. Speaking of, where- there. The idiot prince, Hoseok, striding forward with his big grin and offering Seokjin a hand. Yoongi scowls. Why does his brother always have to make his life so difficult.

“Who’s that?”, his stepmother asks.

“Kim Seokjin.”

“Oh? Seoul did him good. He cleans up well.” They watch as the two start dancing pressed close to each other, talking and smiling and laughing with barely a breath between them.

“But what is he doing?”, Jung Miyoung tuts, frowning at her son.

“Hoseok’s singlehandedly bungling the merger one waltz step at a time.”

“Hm.” She pats him on the shoulder. “And you’re going to stop him.”

“Of course.” Like he’d let three trillion won slip through his fingers like that.

He watches as Hoseok’s hand slips lower on Seokjin’s lower back, sees him murmur something into his ear, swaying them to the music. When they turn he sees Seokjin’s blush and wide eyes, dark and deep and shining even from this far away. His plush lips have parted into a slight ‘o’ and wonder is written all over his flawless features. Then his brother lets go of him, walking backwards into the crowd, winking at him, leaving a stunned Seokjin on the dancefloor. A light breeze tousles his immaculate hair, loosening blonde strands that now fall into his eyes making him blink once, twice. He wakes from his daze and looks around with his doe eyes before he finally turns and starts moving in the direction of the pool house. He’s broad shoulders in the sea of people, then a blonde dot, then lost out of sight of Yoongi. He blinks and takes a breath looking around for his brother.

When he finds him on the terrace he’s already clutching a bottle of champagne and about to head out again. Lightly, he pushes him backwards with a palm. “Hoseok, there you are. I need to talk to you.”

“Uff, Yoongi! Ah, not right now, I gotta-“ Hoseok cranes his neck to look over the crowd.

“Yes right now.” Grabbing his arm he starts walking into the house with a spluttering Hoseok.

“Hey hey hey, what are you doing, hyung!” He closes the door to the office and rounds on his brother.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi shoots him a glare. “Your future in-laws are at the party somewhere and you think it’s a good idea to hustle the mechanic? Right in front of their noses?”

“We were just dancing.”

“Stop ‘just dancing’, then.”

“I can’t have a drink and a dance with an old friend?”

“Do I look stupid? Do I look blind to you?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“You were planning to!”

“How would you know?”

“You’re kidding, right? You think I don’t know where you’re going with that champagne? You think Seokjin doesn’t know what the pool house means? All his life he’s been audience to these parties, watching with his face pressed to the window or peeking through branches of that tree, watching the pomp, dreaming of a dance with the prince.”

The door opens and Miyoung enters.

“Hoseok, what do you think you’re doing?”

Hoseok throws up his hands, still holding the bottle. “Nothing! I’m just hanging out with an old friend, catching up with a neighbour, dancing with a guest!”

His mother narrows her eyes at him. “Do you take me for a fool, son? You finally find the right boy who’s got the right parents who own the right company, you asked him to marry you-“

“Actually, he asked me.”

“-and you’re ready to throw it away for what? ‘Catching up with your neighbour mechanic’? You screw up with Jimin and I’ll kill you.”

“I-“ Hoseok huffs, pacing up and down, “I don’t know, it’s just Seokjin, he’s, there’s something about him, he’s special, he’s sensational! I think, I think I’m falling in love with him.”

“You said the same things about Jimin.”, Yoongi retorts.

“It’s different! You pushed me into that relationship! Into the engagement!”

Yoongi scowls, “Pushing you? I could burn in hell for all the lies you asked me to tell Jimin.” Hoseok runs his fingers through his hair pacing and pacing. Yoongi considers him, the way he flails with the bottle in hand, his jacket unbuttoned, restless and stressed.

“I cannot be engaged to someone if I feel like this for someone else I-“

“Jesus, Hoseok, calm down. Sit.”

“I’m confused, I can’t-”

“Sit down.”

“I can’t talk right now, I need-“

“Hoseok, sit down!”

“What?”

“Just sit down.” He guides Hoseok to a chair with a determined hand.

“No, I need to go-“

“Sit!” He pushes him down on the shoulders and Hoseok’s ass drops onto the chair with a crunch. “AARh F-“ his brother jerks and tenses up, gripping the armchair tightly, face contorted with pain while a corner of Yoongi’s mouth twitches up unnoticeably.

“Hm? What’s up?” Miyoung asked. Hoseok bites his lip, screwing his eyes shut, “I sat on it!!”

“On what?”

“On the fucking glasses! Ow ow ow”

His mother tuts, “Language, Hoseok. Why would you sit on glasses, that’s not smart.”

“I’m bleeding!”, he whimpers.

“A problem we can solve. Yoongi, call an ambulance.” Hoseok manages to open one eye to peek at him.

“What about Seokjin, he’s waiting-“

Yoongi takes the champagne from Hoseok. “I’ll handle it.”

His brother jerks as he tries to move again. “FUUCK-“

“Language!”

The pool house lies secluded from the rest of the party, obscured from view by rose bushes and enclosed by trees and walls to one side. Underwater lights illuminate the pool, now calm and vacated. Except – there he is, sitting alone by the pool on a low wall, long legs outstretched in front of him, hands between his thighs, eyes cast downwards mirroring the glittering water. A small smile plays around his mouth.

It’s strange – how Hoseok, how Miyoung, the staff, the people at the party – look at Seokjin and see this new person, just because he’s dressed up and blonder and his lips a bit glossier. And he gets that, Seoul did something good to Seokjin, he’s more poised and polished. Tonight, he is the talk of the party, an unknown, fresh and intriguing face in the sea of the usual boring elite. Men and women got whiplash turning their heads in his direction, wondering about this handsome, broad-shouldered stranger, about his heritage and family status.

But when Yoongi looks at him time stands still. He sees Seokjin in his overalls with greasy hair and oil smudge on his face getting out from under a car or hiding in the tree. He sees Seokjin standing by his father’s grave, bowing at the adults offering condolences, eyes glistening with unshed tears. He sees Seokjin, twelve years old, running down the beach, laughing brightly, carefree. He sees Seokjin, blond, cleaned up, drawing attention.

He sees Seokjin and his ocean eyes and thinks he hasn’t changed at all.

He doesn’t understand Hoseok. Whether blond or black-haired, tailored suit or working clothes – that laugh, that face and those eyes – Seokjin isn’t someone you just forget. But maybe his brother has never really seen him…not the way he has. Yoongi brushes the thought away. Blinking he takes a deep breath. Focus. Three trillion won.

He’s about to reveal himself when another thought occurs to him making him falter. He realizes that in the next moment, Seokjin will look up expecting Hoseok only to see Yoongi. The hope and anticipation in his eyes will change into disappointment. With sinking heart it becomes clear to him that his next step will be the reason Seokjin’s smile will drop.

He shakes his head. Three trillion won, Yoongi. Focus.

“Where have you been all my life?”

“I’m so sorry, I must have been blind. I should have paid more attention to you. I should have taken you out sooner.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you, Seokjin. You’re fascinating. You’re gorgeous.”

“I want to get to know you better. There’s so much between us to catch up on.”

“Can we…talk somewhere private? Without all these people staring at your gorgeous, gorgeous everything?”

Empty promises, his brother would say. But if empty promises mean warm arms around his waist, spinning around the dance floor until he’s dizzy with Hoseok’s brilliant smile on him, when they make him feel like this, he’ll drink another cup of it. He smiles. He can’t believe he’s actually living his dream. That dream he’s constructed in his head in that tree for years, and now, he’ll be the protagonist, tasting champagne himself with Hoseok’s eyes on him alone.

His heart flips as he hears footsteps approaching – and sinks when it’s Yoongi walking up to him, not Hoseok. He drops his gaze, knowing what’s coming. Drawing his legs closer, he puts his hands in his lap.

“Hey.”

 “Yoongi-ssi.” He looks at him. There’s no radiant smile on this face, only a frown and unreadable eyes.

“Where’s Hoseok?”

“He’s indisposed.”

“Indisposed…”

“Yeah. He…accidentally sat on a champagne flute. He seems to have a habit of carrying them in his back pockets.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “Oh, is he alright?”

“He’s in the emergency room. He’ll live, don’t worry.” There’s a pause where they regard each other in silence. Eventually, he points at the bottle and the glasses in Yoongi’s hands.

“And what’s this?” Yoongi blinks at the items, then gives Seokjin a flute to hold while he opens the champagne.

“A message from Hoseok.” He watches as Yoongi fills the flutes.

“A message from Hoseok? Or from the Jungs?” Yoongi’s hands still as their eyes meet over the glasses. Slowly, he puts the bottle down and takes a seat next to Seokjin.

“They sent you to deal with me, didn’t they?” His ears redden under Yoongi’s regard. He looks back to the glittering water.

“To deal with you?”

“Yeah, like a lawyer in a movie. He goes to the unsuitable waitress…or showgirl,” He gives a self-deprecating smile, “or chauffeur’s son…and says the family is prepared to offer you a hundred million won. To stay away from their son. ‘No’, he says. The lawyer offers more. ‘Two hundred’. He declines still.”

“A billion.” Seokjin turns to Yoongi, wide-eyed. Yoongi stares back at him, his face smooth, free of any emotions.

“No self-respecting lawyer would offer less.”, Yoongi says. Seokjin swallows.

“No self-respecting waitress…would take it.” The corners of Yoongi’s mouth twitch up in a fleeting smile. “Good.”

Seokjin turns away again, his eyes finding the familiar tree beyond the wall where he used to watch Hoseok from afar. He takes a sip of champagne.

“I’ve loved him all my life. I thought going away could help me get over him. But here I am, foolish as ever.” He points at the tree. “I used to watch him from there. Every party he’d come here with a beautiful girl or guy, pouring them champagne and kissing them.”

“And today you wanted to be that guy.”

He tilts his head as he hears the music starting up somewhere beyond the roses. “They played this song the last time I saw him dancing with someone.” He closes his eyes, remembering the familiar dream. He opens them again when he feels Yoongi shifting next to him. Yoongi stands offering a hand to him, a small smile softening his look.

“Dance with me.”

He stares at the hand and then at the face that’s not Hoseok’s. Yoongi is so unlike his brother. Where Hoseok is loud, Yoongi is quiet. Where Hoseok is predictable and blunt, endearingly so, Yoongi surprises him. He remains a mystery, though his secret smile is familiar to him, he still has to look closely to find it in his dark, unfathomable eyes. He takes his hand.

Slowly, they start swaying to the music, one hand on his lower back, the other warm in his.

“I never thought of you as a dancer.”

“Hm.”

“I never saw you meet a girl or guy here with champagne.”

“Never did before.”

“You never had to before.”

“Is it impossible to believe that I want to dance with the most handsome man at the party?”

Seokjin blushes. “Thank you.”

They stay silent for the rest of the dance. The song ends and another starts. Fleetingly, he wonders why he hasn’t excused himself to get away, already, but it feels nice to share a dance with another person, a comfort after the disappointment. Every now and then they turn so that his eyes catch sight of that one tree. It’s still strange to be on this side of the scene and he wonders if there’s a chance that he’ll find himself here again in the future. He drops his chin on warm steady shoulders and looks into the water, glittering like diamonds, like stars, like all the things he never knew to call his. But he’s touched it, now, he’s gotten a taste of that fantastic dream. Where does he go from here? Does he still want more? Does his heart still ache? He tightens his grip slightly. He finds himself scared of the answer. He doesn’t want to come back after two years only to fall back into the same spot he was in prior. He doesn’t want his brothers to consequently worry about him again. But what his heart wants, his heart wants. Closing his eyes, he keeps on swaying, wrapping both arms around broad shoulders. Heart, let him rest. He sighs and tries to clear his mind, concentrating on the warmth enveloping him, the sure hands on his back and the lulling motion and stops counting the songs playing in the background.

He hasn’t danced in forever. He can’t even remember if it was a guy or girl that was his last partner. But this he will remember.

He dances with Seokjin and time stands still.

He’s warm and solid, then relaxed and melting in his arms. Yoongi holds him tighter. It’s lulling and easy to get lost into after a long day, the music in the background, the glittering water, the dim lights. A cool breeze from the sea drifts over them mixing with the sweet smell of Seokjin. The music grows faint as he strains his ears to listen to the ocean enjoying the sound of wave after wave crashing against the shore, steady and strong. Seokjin rests his head on his shoulder and he wonders if he has his eyes closed. Before, they were flickering around, finding the tree, dropping to the feet, to the water, searching for something, someone beyond the rose bushes, restless, looking everywhere, always anywhere but at him. Eyes that are deep and dark and timeless. Like mellow waves washing ashore they invite you in, like rip current they catch you off guard, pulling you underwater, drowning you. You know this and yet cannot stay away, for the ocean, once fallen for it, is addictive, its glittering surface enticing and its danger a risk you readily take just to catch another glimpse while you try to keep afloat in its magnificence.

Yoongi knows this, yet all he’s ever wanted were those ocean eyes on him.

Chapter Text

“Eleven! Hyung, eleven!”

A wail greets him as he enters Hoseok’s room. Good grief. He closes the door then his eyes for a brief second.

“Eleven!” Stifling a sigh he moves closer to give Hoseok a cup of white chocolate mocha latte with whipped cream and cinnamon pecan brittle because he wants to be nice to his brother for once, because he is kind of responsible for his brother’s condition even though he doesn’t really feel sorry about the ‘accident’ when his brother kind of deserves this. So he thinks, let action speak for a lack of conscience and shoves the abomination of coffee into his face. But that doesn’t shut him up. “Eleven! HYUNG!”

“What eleven what”, he’s put a finger in his ear shaking it. He’s expecting his Hoseok-induced tinnitus to start up any time, now.

“Oh, eleven years until you get a Hogwarts letter – what do you think! Eleven bloody stitches! Merlin’s beard!” Hoseok shouts, lying on his stomach glaring at Yoongi.

“Less than expected”, he murmurs.

“Eleven painfully prickly stitches, Yoongi, needles!” What’s he talking about, don’t they give painkillers. Can’t be as painful as this conversation, he thinks as he feels the beginnings of a headache.

He shoves the cup almost up his nose and says a bit louder, “Take your sweet poison, it’ll make you feel better.” Hoseok sniffs, then his scowl melts away as he takes the cup, “aw, Yoongi-hyung, I love you-“, he takes a sip but chokes midway as he seems to remember something. The scowl is back and directed at him. “-no, I don’t!” With a twist of his upper body and the free hand he wags a finger at Yoongi. “You! You made me sit!!”

“Accidentally.”

“You’re the reason I’m in pain!”

“Ditto.”

Hoseok huffs indignantly, “Show some remorse!”

“There, you got your white chocolate mocha, didn’t you!”

Hoseok looks down at his drink and takes a sip. “Hm.” The murder of Hoseok’s taste buds seems to do wonders for his mood. His face lights up as he sighs contently.

“Ok. You’re like, 9 ¾ forgiven.” Yoongi can’t help rolling his eyes.

“So tell me,” Hoseok starts again, “did you meet up with Seokjin, yesterday? What did you tell him?”

“I-“, Yoongi pauses. “I did.” Hoseok looks at him expectantly raising his eyebrows.

“And?”

“And what?”

“Yoongi-hyuung!”, his brother whines exasperatedly, “what happened what did you say to him what did he say to that does he hate me now what what what”

What happened. He went to Seokjin. He shared champagne with him. They talked. They danced.

They danced until the first guests must have left the party, they danced until the band got tired and the music ceased. They danced song after song after song until their eyes grew heavy and the air cool enough that it felt just a little bit inconvenient to leave each other’s warm embrace. He thinks they parted amicably despite Yoongi offering him money to stay away from Hoseok and Seokjin refusing it. He was right, Yoongi is that lawyer from the movies doing the dirty work. And the issue is still not off the table. He’s not surprised that bribing is not an option when it comes to Seokjin. Still, that cancels out a swift solution. So Yoongi has to find another way to keep him away from his brother, to make sure Hoseok isn’t distracted and keeps his side of the marriage-merger bargain. It should be easier once Jimin is present but until then it’s up to Yoongi…

“I told him you’re an idiot and he agreed. Better stay away from him lest he tells you that to your face and makes you cry.” Hoseok grabs the pillow from under him and throws it at Yoongi. He misses. With a groan he drops his face on the bed.

“Hyuung, give me my pillow!” Yoongi shakes his head walking to the door.

“Go accio yourself.”

He finds the ward physician and tells him to keep Hoseok in the hospital for as long as possible.

In the foyer, he runs into Seokjin. He’s wearing those jeans again and a striped soft longsleeve. He looks so cosy.

“Yoongi-ssi.”

“Seokjin, what are you doing here?”

He smiles, “I wanted to visit Hoseok, see how he’s doing.”

Yoongi frowns, “It’s not a good time, he’s being examined right now.”

“Oh, then I’ll wait, it shouldn’t take too long, right?”

“Sure, it can only take some hours.” Seokjin’s eyebrows shoot up. “Huh? Why hours? You’re kidding?”

“They have to look at the stitches and Hoseok is so sensitive and scared of needles and stitches and doctors in general that they have to sedate him. He’ll be sleeping.”

Seokjin’s smile drops, lips parted in a slight pout. “Oh…I didn’t know…but, isn’t his fiancé a doctor?”

“See, he scared him right into the engagement.”

That gets a surprised laugh from Seokjin. Yoongi smiles.

“Poor Hoseok,” his eyes turn to the elevators. “Maybe I can keep him company for a while, still…”

Yoongi shifts, “Do you really want to sit next to a snoring, drooling Hoseok? When…we could go have some breakfast instead?”

Seokjin looks at him. “It’s almost noon.”

“Brunch then. Lunch. I don’t care. Food. Drink.” He tilts his head, pouting slightly. “Keep me company?” Seokjin’s eyebrows vanish behind his fringe again, his lips parted.

“I promise I won’t drool.” Seokjin snorts, eyes crinkled with amusement. “Fine. Okay.” He starts moving towards the exit, throwing a wink over his shoulder at Yoongi. “Let’s have blunch then.”

Yoongi frowns, hurrying to keep up with Seokjin’s long strides. “Blunch?”

“A meal between brunch and lunch! A blunch!” Seokjin laughs with his whole body, eyes glittering with mirth and mouth stretched into a broad smile. His joy is contagious but Yoongi resists the urge to join his laughter because. “That was so bad. Like, really bad.”

“What”, Seokjin chuckles, “how about we wait till afternoon. To have,“ he interrupts himself with another bout of laughter and somehow Yoongi just knows what’s coming.

“No.” He walks faster to get ahead of Seokjin, away from-

“-to have linner!”

“Oh my God. Go watch my brother drool onto his pillow!” Seokjin runs up to him laughing with shaking shoulders, “Too late, you’re stuck with me now! Do you know this one -“

Brunch with Seokjin is fun. Not the jokes, those are bad, like, so so bad, not funny at all. No.

But, there’s so much joy emanating from Seokjin eating. He’s so unrestrained and unapologetic in stuffing himself full, no wonder he grew up so big and strong and tall. All the food went into his shoulders, probably (definitely not his waist). And for once, Yoongi isn’t drawn to those shining eyes but to his mouth. It’s so big. And his lips are glossy with fat and his cheeks flushed from the spicy food and laughter as if he had make-up on but. It’s just food and brunch and a talking, laughing, joking Seokjin who’s probably just rolled out of bed looking like that like it’s no big deal. It’s mesmerizing, it’s distracting.

Chopsticks are shoved into his face. “Yoongi, aah!” He blinks at Seokjin who’s looking at him meaningfully, his mouth opened big and round, then squints at the thing in front of him. With a mental shrug he leans forward to take it between his lips- and grimaces. “Yah,” he takes the empty seashell out of his mouth again with his fingers while Seokjin doubles over with laughter. “Yah.”

“What’s got you so distracted?” Seokjin asks chuckling, wiping tears out of his eyes. “The moment you smiled at one of my jokes I knew you weren’t listening!”

“I wasn’t smiling.”

“No, of course not, smiling doesn’t fit into the busy schedule of one Min Yoongi.”

“Smiling practice is reserved for Tuesdays 4 o’ clock. You can join the session if you want.” Seokjin laughs. “Do you have a coach for smiling?”

“Sure.” He grabs a mussel with his chopsticks. “No workout without coach, so you can offset it against tax.”

“Are you serious? Who’s your coach? Your brother?”

“The mirror.” That earns him another burst of laugh from Seokjin. He chews on the flesh and half covers his mouth with chopstick and hand to hide the quirk of the corners of his lips. “I’m hilarious.”

They order and order, Yoongi puts his phone on silent ignoring his secretary. Seokjin talks a lot about his brothers, his cousin and food. He has a lot to tell and Yoongi listens. He can’t imagine a person like Taehyung, he can imagine a certain fine restaurant and Seokjin being good at cooking, he doesn’t have to imagine his brothers because he knows them, too. But he didn’t know Namjoon is writing a book and that Jeongguk, despite his creative side, wants to study business. The Kim brothers have a lot of potential.

When Hoseok is released on the next day, Yoongi manages to steal Seokjin away for lunch once more, timing it just so that Seokjin and his brother miss each other again. Dinner with the parents preoccupies Hoseok while Yoongi sits at the table mulling over the upcoming weekend. What to do. Two weeks to go before Jimin is here to back him up.

After dinner, Yoongi makes a few calls, then packs a few things before trudging over to the garage.

Seokjin gets the door, wondering who this might be. It’s rather late already and all the brothers are at home. The Jungs call when they want a ride, they don’t ring the bell.

Bucket hat. Black sweater and- knees. It’s – knees. But – they’re – Seokjin is sure he’s seen knees before, and bare male legs, but the pair in front of him is so pale, white almost, and, skinny, but the pretty kind of skinny, slender, pretty, smooth and soft and pretty, so pr–

“Seokjin.”

His head snaps up. “Yoongi.” He blushes to his ears. God, it’s Yoongi’s pair of pearly white legs. He can’t remember ever seeing Yoongi in such attire…why is he wearing shorts? He can’t stop his eyes from wandering down again to thighs and knees and calfs and ankles –

Yoongi clears his throat, “May I come in?”

He blinks, “Oh, of course. Please, come in.”

“Who’s it?” Jeongguk shouts from the living room.

“It’s Yoongi!”

“Tell him he can’t hog you every time of the day! Evenings are reserved for Jeongguk!”

“Yah, you’re in school at lunchtime, anyway, Guk-ah!” He beckons Yoongi to follow him after he’s taken off his slippers. Jeongguk is sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, immersed in a video game. When Yoongi enters he nods and tries to bow sitting down, “Yoongi-ssi-“ and makes the mistake of glancing at him. He does a double take and promptly dies, ‘game over’ flashing across the screen. “Uh,” Ah, brother, he gets it.

“What are you wearing?” Jeongguk asks with big round eyes, game forgotten.

Yoongi frowns, “Clothes.” Seokjin snorts.

“Ah, why don’t you take a seat while I make some tea?”

“You don’t have to-“

“Please, you paid for the blunches, let me at least treat you to tea bag tea.”

Yoongi gives him an indignant look. “It was a brunch and a lunch.”

Chuckling and walking towards the kitchen, Seokjin retorts, “It was a blunch and a blunch!”

“Yah!”

When he comes back with tea and cups Namjoon has joined them. There, his brother is wearing shorts, too, and it’s okay, he’s okay with that. His eyes drift over to Yoongi’s legs. Sitting next to each other, the contrast is striking. Namjoon’s thighs are thick and strong whereas Yoongi’s…does he use skin products on his legs, he wonders. Does he shave them? Do they feel as smooth as they look? Are they muscular under all that softness -

“Seokjin?”

“Hm?”

“Tea?”

“Ah.”

He pours tea into the cups while Namjoon gets up smacking his thighs. Seokjin’s eyes automatically go from his brother’s to Yoongi’s legs. Jesus, Seokjin, get a grip. With pure strength of will he returns his gaze to the cups.

“I’ll be in my room. Thanks for the tea. Come on, Jeongguk.”

“Let me finish this round-“ Their little brother replies, eyes fixed on the screen.

He smiles at Yoongi and sits down next to him handing him a cup. “So, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you’ve told me. About the seafood and the restaurant and,” he clears his throat, “I was wondering, if you’d like to go to the source of it all?”

Seokjin raises an eyebrow not quite sure what Yoongi is getting at. “You mean, to the fish market?”

“I mean fishing.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “Oh, fishing! I- actually, I’ve never gone fishing before…”

“I’ve never gone, either!”, Jeongguk chimes in, eyes going round with wonder. He pauses the game and looks between Seokjin and Yoongi. “Are you going? Can I come, too?”

“Jeongguk!”, Namjoon shouts from his room. “Can you come here for a second? I need your help.”

Ever the good little brother, Jeongguk gets up immediately to go help Namjoon without hesitation.

Seokjin returns his stare to Yoongi. “…Yeah.”

Yoongi parts his lips, “Yeah?”

“Yes, why not, I’d like to go fishing. I’ve been to the fish market but I’ve never caught a fish myself.” The longer he thinks about it, the more appealing the idea of fishing becomes. He’s gotten pretty dedicated to cooking and learning about all the steps of creating food will be an experience.

Yoongi smiles. “Great. Let’s go.”

“What?”

Yoongi empties his cup and stands up. “The fishing boat is leaving in two hours, pack some spare clothes and toothbrush and let’s go!”

“Wh- I- n-now? Today? Tonight?”

Yoongi claps his hands, “Yes. Make hay while the sun shines. Or, in this case, go fishing while the moon shines.” He looks excited. Seokjin gapes at him. Well, that’s- spontaneous, to say the least. Going on a fishing trip with Yoongi, right now, at night. So that’s his fishing attire? Huh. A slow grin forms on his face. He likes spontaneity and has plenty of free time at the moment, anyway.

He packs his bag when Namjoon enters. “What was that?” There’s a pattern there.

“What?”

“Hyung. You’re going fishing? Tonight? With Yoongi?”

“Yes? It’s okay, right? We didn’t plan anything this weekend, right?”

“No, just-“ He looks at the bag. “What are you packing, how long are you going to be at sea?” Good question. He contemplates the sweater in his hand then puts it into the bag. “Till tomorrow?”

Namjoon stares at him. “You’ve spend a lot of time with Yoongi, lately. I was wondering, what happened at the party?”

Seokjin’s ears turn red. Namjoon and his questions. He shrugs. “It was just brunch and lunch, we happened to cross paths.”

“Considering that you’ve been home for barely three days, that’s a lot. You’ve seen him more than us.”

“Yah, that’s not true!”

“Ask Jeongguk, he is sulking.”

“He’s got school, he can’t come fishing with us…”

Namjoon smiles, “Hey, come on, I’m not accusing you or anything. I’m just wondering. Besides, Yoongi is cool, did you know that he writes, too?”

That surprises him. “He does? He never mentioned…when would he find the time to write, though?”

The dimples deepen. “Who knows, maybe during fishing?”

Seokjin chuckles, “Maybe. I’ll find out.”

Patting him on the back, Namjoon says, “You do that. Have fun, text us, take care, don’t get eaten by the kraken.”

Seokjin’s smile drops, “There’s no such thing as a kraken.”

“There’s truth in every myth. Take a picture when you meet one.”

“Yah, yah, why are you like this!”

They arrive at the port before midnight. Looking at the not so small boat he gets truly excited. It reminds him of the adventures with Taehyung when everything was new to him in Seoul and his cousin would constantly surprise him with sudden trips dragging him everywhere at any given time. It was always worth it. He can already feel it’s going to be great. There’s just something about the ocean. The closer, the more magical it gets. He feels a cool wind breezing over them tousling his hair and takes a deep breath. Seawater, salt, fish. The sound of engines and waves and gulls. He looks to the side. Yoongi in a bucket hat and shorts.

Familiar, yet unfamiliar. He feels like standing on the brink of a whole new world.

“You ready?”

Seokjin grins, “I can’t wait.”

Chapter Text

“What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

…

Something catchy! Ha ha ha!”

“…”

“Hey. Yoongi. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!”

“…Yoongi. Hey, Yoongi.”

“Yoongi.”

“Yoongi-ah!”

“Hm.”

“Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman? He was lost at C. Hahaha!”

Fishing is great. After a short 101 on fishing and safety they were off, taking the ship out to the deep sea. Out here, it’s dark, the shore a small line of shimmering lights in the distance. The moon, though, shines bright tonight, mirrored in the water beautifully. It’s peaceful and calm. There’s something serene about fishing, about waiting patiently and stationary, suspended between the stars and the deep sea. He breathes the sea air, fills his lungs and empties his head with it. It’s cleansing, it’s meditative. It’s wonderful. And what’s nicer still, is that he’s not alone. His companion is motionless, taciturn, maybe asleep standing up, but he is there right next to him, holding the fishing pole with cold fingers, looking cute in the big life jacket with his bucket hat and shorts. It’s a bit sad that he doesn’t laugh at his awesome jokes, though. But he’ll get there, he just has to catch him off guard with a really really good one. That’s easy, he has an ocean of inspiration at disposal. Seokjin smiles at the moon. Trial and error. He’ll just have to tell more jokes, all the jokes.

“Yoongi-ah, what do you call a fish with a tie? SoFISHticated!”

“Yoongi-ah, why do fish swim in schools?- …”

Yoongi sighs.

When dawn creeps over the horizon, dulling the light of the moon and the stars, Seokjin is tired. His eyes are heavy, his fingers stiff from holding the pole for so long. He feels like he’s mulled over his whole life three times over when he hasn’t been thinking about fish and puns, fishy puns, he feels like he’s 90 % salt water and 10 % empty head. He glances at his partner in fishing, a bucket hat statue of the 21st century, modern art, weathertight designed with plastic orange vest, plastic black slippers, a touch of wool and – aw, sweater paws. There’s a glow around his form as the sun rises higher. It shows a picture-perfect silhouette of a fishing fisher who fishes fish – or in this case, bathes worms. They haven’t caught anything, yet.

His eyes drift over to the sun. It glitters – something, in the water, wow. And bright, sunny bright, sunnier than the moon, aye. Dawn of the day, a wonder of this world. Yellow. For lack of better words, the sunrise is beautiful.

“You know,” he begins yawning, “Namjoon would say something like, looks like the sun is bathing in the sea. But y’know what? It looks like-“

“Egg yolk.”

Seokjin whips his head around to Yoongi with wide-eyes, sleep forgotten for a second.

“Wow, telepathy.”

Yoongi smiles a little and for a moment the sunrays catch his hair and eyes and profile just so and – for lack of better words, it’s beautiful.

He parts his lips to tell him that, or to tell a joke, or to laugh, he doesn’t really know – his head is pretty empty – when suddenly, something tugs at his fishing line. A FISH!

“Ooh!!” He pulls, but it’s stubborn and strong! “Oooh!!”

“Reel!”, Yoongi shouts somewhere next to him. His heart beats fast as he remembers to use the spinning reel. Excitedly, he cranks the fish in, awake after hours of doing not much. There’s a moment when he struggles again – but then hands close around his, cold but strong, helping him retrieving. With a last big effort he pulls and puts his body weight in it. Suddenly, the resistance is gone and he falls backwards as something comes flying at him.

Splash! Wet and slimy plasters itself on his face smothering him, sucking and winding around his neck. Hastily he pulls it off of him heaving a breath. Then he screams.

“A KRAKEN!!”

In the end, Seokjin survives the sea monster and throws it back into the water (“That was a fine octopus, we could have eaten it!”, “Yah, it could have eaten me!”) and they do catch some proper fish. Seokjin can’t stop grinning when he catches his first fish. It’s exhilarating and he feels so proud and happy about it. It’s like winning a battle against himself, where patience prevails. Yoongi takes some evidence photos for Seokjin to show to his brothers. After hours of glorious fishing they pass out in the lounge while the sun filters through the windows.

He wakes to the delicious smell of food. Blinking, he sits up and sees Yoongi decking a table with different dishes.

“That smells fantastic.”

“Ah, you’re awake. We can eat, if you want.” His stomach gives a rumble in answer. He gets up. “It looks great…ah! Don’t tell me it’s the fish we caught!” He brightens as he recognizes his rockfish amongst others. “But who…” He looks at Yoongi who’s showing his quiet little smile again, albeit fatigue is written over his face. “Did you make all this?”

“Hm.”

Seokjin is surprised. Yoongi must be as tired as him and yet he got up earlier to gut and cook the fish. “Wow, thank you Yoongi-ah. It looks truly delicious. It’s an honour.”

Yoongi does a lopsided thing with a tug of his lips and a scrunch of his nose accompanied by a self-satisfied shine in his eyes. Cute. He drops down next to Yoongi and grabs some chopsticks.

They dig in and it’s the best thing Seokjin’s ever tasted. Fresh, self-caught fish. It’s a special kind of satisfaction. And Yoongi knows how to make seafood. He smiles.

“You know, I’m on a seafood diet.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I see food, I eat it.”

“Seokjin.”

“Am I telling too many fish jokes? Please let minnow.” He laughs as Yoongi makes an annoyed face and tries to shove a piece of rockfish into his mouth to shut him up.

After blunch (“Blunch is not a thing!”, “It’s our thing!”, “…Yah, just call it a meal.”) – after blunch they take another nap with full stomachs. In the afternoon, they return to the port. It’s a nice, sunny day and somehow, he already misses being at sea fishing. He watches the boat docking and sighs wistfully.

“You know,” Yoongi starts, “if you want we can go for another round.” Seokjin looks at him. “Really?”

Yoongi smiles, “Yeah. It’s not the ideal time to catch fish but we can get some takeaway now and bring it on board for dinner. And then…actually, I wanted to show you something.”

Seokjin brightens. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

After Yoongi talks to the captain and Seokjin texts his brothers they hang around the port for a while watching the coming and going of boats, enjoying the warmth of the sun. When it’s time they go for a walk getting some food from the next supermarket. And then they’re off again in the evening, their destination lying a bit further outside than the night before. Sunset is fire in the ocean and the first diamonds in the sky, it’s shared ramen and companionable silence as they enjoy the breeze and sound of the sea. And then it’s fishing once more, hoping for a nice catch and that one joke that cracks Yoongi’s composure. He’s successful with the first, but sadly, still not with the latter.

When tiredness sneaks up on him and his life is, after his latest contemplation, dubious at best, bucket hat turns towards him revealing a, haha, pout beneath the rim…it’s forming words or something.

“What?”

“We should take a break. I need you to stay awake for a while longer.”

“Why do you think I’m tired? I’m not tired, you’re tired!” Bucket hat gives him an unimpressed vibe. “It’s been half an hour without any puns.”

“…”

“…”

“Whale, whale, whale.”

So they rest for a bit.

Someone shakes him awake. Seokjin blinks seeing Yoongi looming over him. “Come on. It’s almost dawn. You need to see this.”

He stumbles outside sleep-ridden. In the east the sun begins to rise over the horizon. And bathing in the first light of the day is the Haedong Yonggungsa Temple. Seokjin moves forward to the railing, mouth parted in astonishment at the gorgeous view. He’s only ever seen this famous temple on photographs but seeing it live he realizes it’s one of those things pictures and words cannot do justice.

Along the coast the temple houses spread out as if hewn from the rocks surrounding them. Lines of trees are framed by a soft pink sky, pagoda roofs and stone railings glisten with the first kisses of sunrays while waves crash against the sloping rocks not quite reaching the beautiful bridge. It’s stunning.

The horizon is a strip of endless gold and rose while the water glitters with the rising sun. Soon, the sky turns a light blue promising another cloudless, sunny day. Seokjin inhales the morning air. The rocking of the waves, the sound of the ocean, the taste of salt. It’s little poems written in the sky and whispered in the wind and melodies woven into the sea, a simple song sung everyday by nature. To Seokjin, it’s a humbling spectacle he’s grateful to witness.

His eyes find Yoongi’s. He looks soft in the morning glow, so soft and peaceful when he returns his stare, the hat for once hiding nothing in the face of the dawning sun.

“It’s breathtaking, isn’t it?”

Seokjin smiles. “Yes.”

This time, they cook together and it works pretty well. Seokjin makes tteokbokki and a spicy fish stew while Yoongi prepares the fish for sashimi. It turns out delicious and they share it with the crew.

Afterwards, they decide to visit a fishing village nearby. They get off at Songjeong harbour and have a walk around Jukdo Park on the hilly island. It has beautiful vistas of the Songjeong beach and the coastline, a lovely lighthouse and an octagonal pavilion. Flowering plants, trees and bamboos decorate the hill prettily. Then their path leads down Galmaetgil trails through cute little fishing spots until they reach the old fishing village. It’s small and quiet. It doesn’t offer much but it’s cosy and Seokjin loves it.

“You seem to know your way around here.”

“Sometimes I go fishing in one of those spots. It’s nice.”

“I bet.”

“Are you ready for a hike up to the temple?”

“You bet!”

So they continue hiking like the sporty outdoor guys they are. Seokjin likes hiking and being outdoors and hills and mountains in general he guesses. It’s beautiful. A picture-perfect summer day with the sun high up in the sky. It’s great.

“I regret this~”, he starts singing and is promptly joined by Yoongi’s deep voice.

“I regret this~”

“I regret this~”

The trails lead up to wooden paths along the coast with only water and rocks beneath them. It’s a wonderful sight and thrilling but Seokjin is glad when they finally reach solid ground at the entrance of the temple. For a moment, he feels like being back at one of Seoul’s sights where tourists and food stalls are freaking everywhere.

Yoongi grimaces, “Ah, it’s in the middle of the day…and a weekend, not the best time to visit. Do you still want to have a look around?” Yoongi looks like one of those cat memes squinting at the people, pressing his lips together showing squishable cheeks and resignation or disgust, he isn’t sure. And those sweater paws. He’s endearing himself to Seokjin fast. Who’d have thought workaholic Min Yoongi has this soft cute fishing side to him…he didn’t. He likes it. Yoongi adds a frown to his face as Seokjin starts laughing at him.

“Are you scared of crowds? Don’t worry, you won’t get lost with me, I’m good at directions and with kids, “ He takes Yoongi’s hand and pulls him towards the entrance, “I have to be, or I would have long lost Namjoon and Jeongguk by now.”

They get something to eat and to drink first and then they push themselves through flocks of tourists and running, screaming kids, ducking selfie sticks and ignoring shouts from the stalls urging them to buy things. Somewhere between all the tumult he hears the Buddhist mantra. It’s such a different atmosphere to that morning when they watched the temple waking up in serenity at dawn. It’s still lots of fun. He feels like he is more excited than his companion, though. He drags Yoongi behind him who follows without complaint but whenever he looks back at him he sees him preoccupied with his phone. Shrugging, he continues his quest, visiting pagoda after pagoda (“’Traffic Safety Prayer Pagoda’, oh look Yoongi, we should pray!”, “Do you think there’s a Fishing Safety Prayer Pagoda?”), touching statues, eating fish cakes taking pictures with his phone. He manages a selfie with some animal statues but none with Yoongi, well, none where both of them look into the camera at the same time because one of them would always get distracted by something, it’s strange. It’s cursed. In the end, he pulls Yoongi onto the sunrise platform and asks someone to take a picture of them both while they stand stock still looking into the camera without blinking. There. He smiles, a proper picture of him and his fishing buddy. Pink and black. He’s about to show it to Yoongi but finds him looking into the distance and Seokjin pauses. His side profile is striking. Without thinking he snaps a picture of him.

“Hm?”, Yoongi looks back at him with questioning eyes.

“Hm? Nothing! Let’s go!”

By evening, they’re back on the boat, exhausted but content. They fall asleep on their way home. Seokjin offers to drive the car but Yoongi brushes him off with a grunt and a stifled yawn.

“Seokjin.” He blinks awake. They’re parked in the garage, they’re back. He yawns and stretches. Next to him, Yoongi does the same, just as tired as he is. He closes his eyes again. Twenty metres to the door, then a thousand stairs up and half a mile till he can flop down on his bed. Uff, maybe he’ll just spend the night in the car.

“Seokjin.”

“Hm.”

A huff, then the sound of Yoongi stepping out. He comes around to his side and opens his door offering him a hand. “C’mon. Up.” With a sigh he takes the hand and gets out. They walk to the front door and come to a halt. He stares at his hand still holding Yoongi’s. He drops it while lifting his eyes with a smile. “Thank you, Yoongi-ah. It was amazing, fishing, sunrise, hiking, everything. Thanks for driving and stuff,” He yawns, “Thank you, sorry, I don’t know words, but thank you. I enjoyed it very much.” Yoongi is silent, eyes obscured by the bucket hat and the darkness.  Seokjin gives him a moment, then he asks, “Are you asleep?”

“Hm? Oh…no. Ah. You- you’re welcome? I mean. It was great, with you. Ah. I enjoyed it, too.” He nods, “Well, good night, Seokjin. Sleep well.”

Seokjin stares at him while neither of them move. Maybe he’s just tired, maybe it’s because it’s that time of the night again when he looks at life and finds everything this tad bit weirder…but it feels like he’s holding two neighbouring puzzle pieces but doesn’t get how to put them together. They should fit but he doesn’t know which way to hold them. Is it the angle? He tilts his head. Soft nose, soft lips, soft cheeks. And eyes that try to hide beneath the rim. But he thinks he knows those eyes, dark and deep, kind and soft whenever they meet. He sees them now after adjusting to the dark, sees them wide and glittering with the dim light reflected in them. Soft. They look so warm and tender he feels his breath falter for a second. He blinks. “Good night.”

It’s Yoongi’s turn to blink clearing his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, well, I’ll be going.” He nods again then turns around and leaves.

Seokjin watches him go and heaves a breath, still he can’t shake off this weird feeling. “Sleep well, Yoongi-ah!” Yoongi lifts a hand in acknowledgment without looking back.

“Yoongi-hyung!”

Oh God, not now. He walks faster past the kitchen but Hoseok gives chase, ice cream and spoon still in his hands. “Yoongi-“

Hoseok steps in front of him, pushing him to a stop with the ice cream tub against his shoulder and wags with the spoon while fixing him with a glare.

“Hyung.”

Yoongi huffs. “What. I’m tired.”

“Oh, and why would you be tired?”

“Because it’s past midnight and you’re standing between me and my bed?”

Hoseok’s nose flares. “Oh, the cheek!” Yoongi rolls his eyes and pushes past him. His brother follows him flailing with his arms. “You kidnapped Seokjin the whole weekend! What were you doing? Did you lock him up in your office? Force him to look over numbers with you? To watch the 24/7 stock market programme? What?”

“Yah. I didn’t kidnap anyone. It was consensual fishing.”

“Consensual fishing? That sounds fishy. Wait-“

Hoseok steps in front of him once more, eyes wide. “You’re telling me you went fishing? For a whole weekend? With Seokjin??”

Yoongi looks down the hall. Three more doors to his bed. He huffs. “So what? I go fishing all the time. And technically, it’s not the whole weekend, Sunday just started.”

Hoseok pushes a finger into his chest. “Yoongi. You go fishing when wolfsbane blossoms at midnight on a red moon and the nightingale does tango with the owl. Like, never. And it was three nights including a working day. What’s going on? What are you doing with Seokjin?”

“Why do you care? Don’t you have to plan your wedding?”

“Don’t get off topic.”

Yoongi snorts. “That is the issue, though, isn’t it? Hoseok, Seokjin is not an option, let it go.” Hoseok stares at him.

“Don’t you ever wonder?”

“About what?”

“About missed chances, ships passing in the night, a soulmate you meet but don’t recognize as such. What if Seokjin is the one and I just never knew until now?”

Yoongi furrows his eyebrows. “What if it’s Jimin and you’re questioning something that you shouldn’t?”

Hoseok returns his look with a frown of his own. “One has to go the extra mile to find out and take the risks. Trial and error.”

“In your case, that’s just code for playing with hearts.”

“In your case, it means never playing at all.” Yoongi’s eyes widen for a split second, then he brushes past his brother and strides to his room. “Good night.” He kicks the door shut and closes his eyes briefly. With a sigh he shuffles to his bed and flops face down on it. Slowly, he turns on his back, one arm thrown over his face shutting out his surroundings.

God, what is he doing. Unbidden, he sees behind his lids the sunrise and the ocean – not on the horizon but reflected in dark brown eyes that are wide with wonder, filled with joy and glistening like the rare stars that don’t pale even in the face of the rising sun. Like all the wonders of this world were held in them.

He opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling, willing the image away. It’s too blunt. He looks to the side and reads the titles of the books on his shelf, finds the photographs on the wall, counts the pieces of furniture in his room. But it’s no use. He groans and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration while taking out his phone and opens the gallery. He rolls on his side cradling the device in one hand.

There he is. Warm smile and bright eyes that are so easy to get lost into. Picture after picture, Seokjin smiles and laughs and shows the shine of his eyes and his perfect looks despite going two days without proper sleep and showers. It’s stolen glimpses of a dream, photos taken while he wasn’t watching, thus in none of them he looks at the camera, in none of them he finds the illusion that Seokjin’s eyes would settle on him.

It hurts.

What is he doing? He thinks he needs to save the Park-Jung merger by distracting either Hoseok or Seokjin to keep them away from each other by all means. And so he thought a weekend full of Seokjin and sunrises was a good idea? He must have been crazy. What came out of it, anyway? Hoseok still seems determined to ask him out and Seokjin is still in love with Hoseok. Nothing has changed. He clenches his fingers. Just minutes ago they were holding Seokjin’s warm hand, now they close around nothing. At the end of the day, his hand is empty.

Nothing has changed – except that his heart hurts. More. Again. Trial and error. He screws his eyes shut. Maybe Hoseok is right and he is a coward. Yoongi isn’t innocent of playing with hearts, though.

It’s just that it’s his own heart he is playing with.

Chapter Text

Waves crashing against the shore. Gulls screeching their greetings. Bright sunshine and salty wind breaking through the window heralding a new beautiful day. Slowly, Yoongi blinks his eyes open and wakes up to reality.

It was just a dream…

He groans, his body feeling stiff from the position he fell asleep in, he didn’t even take off his hat. Rubbing his eyes he goes to check the time on his phone he’s still clutching in his hand but the thing is dead. Just as well. He doesn’t need any more distraction. It’s going to be an Office-Sunday kind of day to make up for the Friday he took of. One, two, three. With a huff he gets up. Shower first, coffee second. Coffee third. And then the office.

It was just a dream. He shakes his muddled head. Shut up, not now. Not ever.

He rubs the salt off his body, lets the shower wash away the residue of fishing and watches as the traces of this weekend whirl around the drain before going down. Hot water hits his nape as he drops his head closing his eyes. He can’t empty his mind.

Back in his room he grabs his phone, then remembers that it needs recharging. He pockets it and browses through his shelf, then rummages in his drawers. There, his black notebook. He hasn’t used it in a long time. He was doing so well. At last, with coffee and paper and pen his thoughts clear and he feels ready for work.

It’s frustrating. It’s Frustrating. F-R-U-S- blabla you get the idea it’s capital Ridikkulus. He’s fallen in love with an angel and the whole world is against him. His brother makes him sit on glasses while his mother forces him through one wedding planning meeting after the other that he finally manages to escape from but now he can’t find the Kims anywhere. They’re not in the garage, not at home, not driving. He finds out they actually took a day off and thinks what is timing and why doesn’t he have Seokjin’s phone number.

Ah. Oh. He knows someone who knows for sure. His Aston Martin is parked in the garage, his room is empty, the staff hasn’t seen him since he left the kitchen with a coffee. Of course, he is in his office. It’s frustrating. What do you do with a billionaire who doesn’t know how to properly spend a Sunday? How to live life? He’s tried to coerce Yoongi into having more fun endless times but he’s a difficult, busy man who is hard to sway. Somewhere between high school and now, he’s lost his hyung, his only hyung, to work and their father’s company. And then like the night before he’d take a jab at him and all he gets is a closed door to his face. Hoseok feels like he’s failed him. His brother frustrates him.

“Hyung! Why are you working on a Sunday!” The door swings shut as he flops down onto the couch fingers thrumming on the armrest.

“Some people have to work.” An answer of a dead man. Yoongi sits at his desk, scribbling on documents, typing on his computer – it looks boring.

Hoseok groans. He gets up and strides towards Yoongi grabbing his wrist.

His brother jerks in alarm, “What?”

“I’m just checking your pulse to see if you’re still alive.” Yoongi scowls and shoves him away. It gets him nowhere as Hoseok decides to sit on his desk.

“Hoseok.”

“Yoongi. It’s wonderful that you took time off and went fishing – still smells fishy that you dragged Seokjin along – but! You and leisure time are in a dysfunctional relationship. Take her out more often! Live a little, go out there, watch the clouds, it’s a bloody Sunday! What are you doing with your life!”

“What I’m doing – my life pays for your life, Hoseok. My life makes your life possible.”

Hoseok frowns. “I resent that.”

“So do I.”

Frustrating.

Yoongi considers him for a moment. “You went to law school. Graduated with flying colours.” Hoseok clicks his tongue in annoyance. “You used to go to the office with father all the time. You used to like it. Why did you stop?”

“You were there. I thought, why would they need me.” Hoseok shrugs. Yoongi opens his mouth to retort but he doesn’t let him. “What’s so difficult about taking breaks and enjoying yourself? What are you so scared of?”

Yoongi gives him an indignant look. “Who says I’m scared.”

“I do, your one and only brother who knows you best.” Yoongi snorts and returns his stare to the computer screen. “You know this book can’t be read.”

“Oh, but I at least cracked it open and read the inscription. ‘To my alter ego. I’m boring like this to make you look cool in every other life. Be grateful and please be rich in every dimension.’”

Yoongi grimaces as he tries to stifle his grin, eyes fixed on the pc.

“Why are you even here. It’s a Sunday, go watch the clouds.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, I’m leaving.”

“Good.”

“I’ll leave you to your love life with your numbers and books and-“

“Just leave, Hoseok.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Hoseok is not moving, though. When he takes a glance he sees him with his phone in hand. “What- Hey!” He grabs for it and manages to wrestle it out of Hoseok’s hold, quickly pocketing it when his brother tries to take it back. “What the hell, Hoseok!”

“Oh come on! I can’t believe you still have your birthday as your code!”

Yoongi glares at him while internally he’s slightly panicking. Did he see the photos?

“What were you doing on my phone?!”

Hoseok whines, throwing his head back in frustration with his eyes closed. “I just wanted Seokjin’s phone number and I’m sure you have it and I know you wouldn’t give it to me freely!” Oh, that cheek! His brother can’t lie but he isn’t half bad in distracting and manipulating his way through life. He’d be such an asset to the company, alas.

“Yeah, you’re right, I wouldn’t. Do I have to remind you again that you’re engaged? I thought the wedding planning isn’t hard to miss.”

“Oh stop it, hyung!! It’s my life!”

“Yes, your life promising me three trillion won, my life providing yours with luxury, it’s a give and take, a fair deal. For everyone’s sake, can’t you take one thing in your life serious? See one thing through?”

Hoseok gives him that look, a look he can totally handle because he knows him since he was a baby but that look, speaking for everyone else, is scary.

“One day, Yoongi, you’ll stand between your money and your heart, and I hope for you that you’ll make the right decision.”

Yoongi tilts up his chin defiantly. “Romance is dead.”

Hoseok’s deepens his scowl narrowing his eyes and turning the corners of his lips down. “Your heart is shrivelling.” Then he leaves the office with brisk steps.

Yoongi keeps staring at the door, frowning deeply. There goes his focus. Aargh, Hoseok. He drops his head into his palms pressing his fingers against his closed eyes. He was doing so well. Your heart is shrivelling.

It would be easier if his heart shrivelled to nothing.

Honestly, he doesn’t know how to stop his brother. He’s a natural force you cannot control. Once he sets his mind on something it’s his and everyone else can go home. Take a sip of the liquor of your choice and go to bed to nurse the headache. You cannot stop Jung Hoseok. It’s just fact.

That leaves him with Seokjin as the only variable in the equation he can work with and…he doesn’t know how to feel about it.

What’s his strategy, anyway. More blunches sprinkled in between fishing escapades? Maybe laugh at his terrible dad jokes? Introduce him to the stock market? Moments spent with Seokjin don’t erase his feelings for Hoseok, do they.

Hoseok will come to Seokjin who’ll meet him with open arms and he doesn’t want to be witness of this, can’t take being witness of this. But Yoongi doesn’t fit into this equation, doesn’t hold any power, cannot change a thing. Any time spent with Seokjin is useless and doesn’t bring him any closer to the three trillion won. Any time spent with Seokjin…

Any time spent with him means watching those ocean eyes looking past him, drifting to the side distracted by thoughts of someone else. It’s trying to be funny to hear his laugh again and again, trying to impress to see the brilliance in his eyes when filled with wonder and happiness, it’s getting addicted to the softest, sweetest smile of human kind and wanting to hold on to his warm hand just a little longer. Spending time with Seokjin means falling deep, deep into the ocean until you can’t tell up and down, until you lose yourself. He can’t do this. He can’t do this to himself. Already, he’s drowning while his hand grasps at nothing but water running through his fingers.

Fuck it. Fuck the merger, let Hoseok have his way. Let Seokjin be…happy with him.  He needs to fish his heart out of the sea before it hits the bottom irretrievably. Let him be a dream, nothing more.

It’s a lazy Sunday morning with sleeping in, then chaotic cooking with his brothers, fending off a pair of hands that are impatient and greedy for food and another one that can’t decide whether to be helpful or to break things. The table is decked full and their appetite big. After the first few minutes where they are mostly silently inhaling food they relax and start bickering and laughing. It’s wonderfully chaotic. Seokjin has missed this so much and believes Taehyung who promised to come visit some time would fit right in. Yoongi, too, there’s something chaotic underneath all his composure…maybe it’s not a good idea to sit them all down around one table, now that he thinks about it. But maybe they can all go fishing some time. Jeongguk’s luck would make him catch all the fish leaving none for the rest of them, though, and Namjoon would break his fishing pole while Taehyung would fall off the boat and drown, or make friends with the kraken, who knows. Hm, it’s probably safer to go fishing with only Yoongi. Does Hoseok go fishing, he suddenly wonders. What would he be wearing? He can’t help blushing at the thought.

“You wanna go?”

Seokjin blinks, “Hm? Go where?”

“To the beach! Why are you so red? I swear I didn’t add spice to it!”

He rubs his cheek, “I saw you, don’t play innocent, Guk-ah! And beach sounds great!”

Finally, his feet dig into sand as seawater washes around his ankles warm and inviting. He tilts his head back and enjoys the sun on his skin, the sound of the waves, the seagulls and the people. He smiles.

“Seokjin!” Splash! Wet and sandy and glibbery, Jeongguk pours a handful of wet beach on his shoulder and back and eugh!

“Jeongguk!” He screams as he starts chasing his guffawing brother. When he passes Namjoon he stops to throw a handful of wet sand at his belly then runs off again, now with a hollering Namjoon at his heel. He laughs happily.

The doorbell rings. Seokjin’s heart skips a beat when he opens the door to Hoseok. Butterflies flutter in his belly, pushing around the dinner he’s just consumed. He feels his ears turning red and his breath stutter. “H-Hoseok! H-Hi!”

Hoseok answers with a blinding smile. “Seokjin! Good evening! I’ve been looking for you all day!”

His eyes go wide with wonder. “You have?”

“Yes! I was desperate but now you’re here!” Hoseok leans closer. Seokjin holds his breath, lips parted. “W-what uh, what did you want?”

Hoseok’s grin, if possible, stretches wider. Winking he says, “You.” Seokjin’s eyelids flutter, heart hammering wildly. Oh God, oh God this is happening, Hoseok flirting with him on his doorsteps. He’s dying. He’s soaring. He’s imploding.

“We never had that drink I promised you together so I was thinking,” A hand touches him lightly on his shoulder then travels down down down until it settles on his chest caressing it. He must be feeling his pounding heart. When Hoseok lifts his eyes from his fingers he gives Seokjin a smoldering look, “we should catch up on it.” Seokjin swallows, burning under Hoseok’s stare and hand. “I- uh- okay.”

Hoseok’s eyes soften. “Great.” And then he’s leaning into his space, hot breath fanning over his lips, his cheek. He speaks low into his ear, fingers creeping up playing with his hair on the back of his neck. “Meet me at the pool house in half an hour.” Slowly, he retreats giving Seokjin one last sultry look and then he’s gone.

He’s shocked. His legs are jelly and his mind foggy. He feels hot all over with a heart that’s beating out of his chest, with lungs that don’t quite work and eyes and mouth that are wide open in astonishment. And his belly is turning and flipping madly.

“Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” He whips around to see Namjoon standing in the hall watching him with folded arms and blushes further. He must be looking like a tomato. “Namjoon-ah!” His brother raises an eyebrow unsmiling. “Are you meeting up with him?”

He feels guilty and judged. “Don’t eavesdrop…yes.”

“Who are you meeting? Yoongi again?” Jeongguk’s scowling face pops around the corner.

“I called dibs on evenings! I told you!”

“No,” Namjoon says, eyes still on Seokjin. “It’s Hoseok.”

“Aw, great, I have to share hyung with everyone around here. No fair!”

Seokjin splutters. “Guk-ah, go do the dishes!” Jeongguk grumbles and returns to the kitchen.

“Seokjin-hyung.” Oh God, this is so- so- confusing, embarrassing. He whines, “Namjoon-ah, please, ugh.”

“What? I’m not saying anything.”

“You’re saying everything with your”, he makes a sweeping gesture pointing at all of Namjoon, “everything!”

His bother snorts. He walks towards him and surprises Seokjin with a warm embrace. “Hyung, listen. I’m on your side. I’ll always be on your side. No matter what happens.”

Seokjin hugs him back tightly, resting his chin on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“He’s engaged,” he whispers. “Am I a bad person?”

Namjoon rubs his back, holds him closer. “He’s engaged, he isn’t married. And even if, it takes two to tango. Hyung, you’re the best person in the world. I don’t care about the engagement or Hoseok, I care about you. I don’t trust him with your heart, I’m sorry,” Seokjin swallows feeling lost and insecure at his brother’s words, “but I trust you to make your own decisions and to listen to your heart. And I’ll always be there for you no matter what. Jeongguk, too, you know that.”

Seokjin closes his eyes, warmth and love washing over him, heart feeling heavy and light all at once. “I don’t deserve you.”

Namjoon pulls back and cups his face looking at him seriously. “Hyung, you deserve the world.”

He runs down the lane towards the garden with pounding heart. Oh God, he’s finally going on a date with Hoseok and he’s late! But he couldn’t decide on a shirt, couldn’t decide on the jeans, had to search for his silver earring, almost dropped his perfume – he’s such a fool. What if, what if he’s late and Hoseok doesn’t wait, what if that was his last chance and – what if Hoseok thinks he isn’t worth waiting for, worth asking a third, a fourth time – by the time Seokjin arrives at the pool he’s a mess.

But he’s there, Hoseok is standing by the house and looks up when he comes nearer. He’s so gorgeous even in a simple white shirt and black pants.

“Seokjin, you came!”

He blushes breathlessly, mesmerized by shining eyes and brilliant smile.

“Of- of course. Hi, uh, hi”, God, can’t he form one proper sentence.

Hoseok laughs, “You’re so cute.” Seokjin is imploding as Hoseok takes his hand and starts walking backwards facing him. “Come on, I brought champagne.”

Seokjin follows with parted lips and red cheeks, utterly bewitched by Hoseok. This is happening, he’s entering the pool house. For the first time, he’ll see the continuation of Hoseok’s rendezvous by the pool first-hand. It’s like a dream. When Hoseok lets go of his hand to turn on the music he blinks and looks around. It’s a luxurious interior with neat black and white furniture and shining marble floor, warmed by the dim light, the soft music and cosy looking chairs and couches.

He jumps when Hoseok pops the champagne and then watches him fill two flutes to the brim.

“Here.” Seokjin takes the one given to him. Hoseok flashes him another radiant smile as he raises his glass. “Finally, cheers to your return.”

“Cheers.” They clink glasses and take a sip.

“How was your day, Seokjin?”

“It was nice. We were at the beach the whole day.”

“That’s were you vanished to, I see. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“I did, I haven’t been to the beach in two year. I missed it. It was lovely.”

“Hm. And how have you been since your return? Have you acclimatized yourself?”

“Yes, it’s good to be back…and to see everyone again.” Hoseok doesn’t look away from him, eyes kind and warm but intensely focused on him. He’s swaying slightly to the music, coming nearer and nearer, drinking from his flute once in a while. Seokjin blushes, his own eyes flitting around.

“Your brother was so kind to show me fishing. And- and showed me the, the temple by the sea.”

“Did he? Did you like it?”

“I did. Yeah-“, he gasps as an arm sneaks around his waist, a hand resting lightly on his lower back. He’s so close now.

“And…do you like this?” Hoseok starts swaying them slowly to the beat, eyes heavy and hot on him, the bright grin turning more subdued.

“Y-yeah.” They stay like that for a while, moving leisurely to the music, body against body, breath against breath. The air is sizzling as something builds between them and Seokjin can’t look away anymore. He feels like he’s burning up, heart and belly flipping madly. He’s dreamed of this, so many times. Hoseok takes their glasses and puts them on a table, presses even closer. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he rests them on Hoseok’s shoulders. He’s so nervous, so excited. He’s caught in Hoseok’s glittering eyes, in his hot embrace, can’t do much but feel. Fingers brush up his neck and caress the shell of his ear, playing with his dangling earring. It tingles where he touches him.

“And…do you like this?” Hoseok murmurs, eyes dropping down, fingers cupping his nape, hand drawing him closer. Seokjin’s heart stutters as Hoseok leans in, erasing the distance between them. He feels hot breath ghosting over his skin, feels their noses brushing, and then Hoseok’s lips on his.

It’s Hoseok’s lips on his, and stars behind his lids. His heart is bursting and his body a wildfire. It’s a fleeting kiss, an eternity. Seokjin’s overwhelmed by emotions, can barely catch his breath as Hoseok draws back. He opens his eyes and sees Hoseok watching him with a burning look. The next moment, they crash their lips together, kissing urgently, hotly, fingers gripping hair, tearing at fabrics, bodies pressing closer. Legs entangle as Hoseok starts walking him backwards until Seokjin’s knees hit the edge of a couch and they drop down on it, all the while clinging to each other, kissing, kissing, kissing. It’s a dream. He gasps and arches his back as Hoseok detaches from his face to leave a trail of wet kisses down his neck while working open the buttons of his shirt. It’s hot hot hot and he can’t breathe, oh God, Hoseok is straddling him and sending shocks of arousal through his body with every shift, every touch, his mouth like molten lava on his skin. He scratches his back in search for a hold, toes curling and – it’s too much. It’s too much, he can’t breathe, he’s oh God, it’s too much, HoseokHoseokHoseok.

“Ah- Hoseok- ah-w-wait- ah- seok-“

“Yeah, ngh, babe you’re so hot-“

“Oh God- Ho-Hoseo- ah-“ His eyes roll back as Hoseok grinds against his hips and kisses him deeply. Seokjin is bursting. It’s too much, his heart is tattooing out of his chest and- he tears away from his lips, pushes against his shoulders gasping for air. “W-w-wait, ah, wait-“

Hoseok leans back, pupils blown and lips swollen red, breathing heavily. “What- hah, are you alright?” He cups Seokjin’s face, stroking his cheek. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

Seokjin heaves a breath, tries to shift away from under him. Hoseok notices and moves off his lap to sit next to him. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah- I – just –“ Seokjin’s overwhelmed, it’s so much, he feels so much want, so much love for Hoseok it scares him. He needs space. He scoots away from Hoseok a little bit and swallows, chest still heaving with laboured breaths.

“It’s- it’s too fast, too much-“ He looks up at Hoseok with wide eyes, hoping that he’ll understand what he can’t say.

He’s been in love with him for years, been building this dream in his head, his heart, this volcano of want and love and yearning and now it’s exploding too fast, too terrifically. And he’s scared it’ll leave him with his heart in shards and ash of broken dreams instead of new land, a new world with Hoseok.

He’s engaged. He’s a heartbreaker. He’s Hoseok, irresistible, enticing, blinding. If he goes any further, there’ll be no going back. Seokjin is in over his head and his heart is on the line. If he goes any further, and Hoseok decides to drop him, he’s scared he’ll never recover. He couldn’t take it. Sometimes dreams are better just being dreams.

“I- can- can we slow down?” Hoseok pulls his legs up to turn his whole body towards Seokjin, attentive, his eyebrows furrowed lightly in worry as his eyes roam over his face. When he speaks it’s soothing like he’s talking to a scared and hurt animal. Does he look so fragile?

“Yes, of course, Seokjin, hey, we can take it slow, like really slow. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Good.” They sit there staring at each other, coming down from the high. His heart calms and he manages a small smile but still feels so vulnerable and scared, doesn’t dare to take a leap. He clears his throat. “I, uh, I should go. Thank you, for-“, he blushes, dropping his gaze, “I- had fun. Thank you.” He stands and turns when Hoseok grabs his hand halting him in his steps. “Hey Seokjin.”

“Yes?”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

His eyes widen. “A date?”

The corners of Hoseok’s mouth lift up, “Yeah, a proper date with dinner, dessert, getting to know each other. Taking it slow.”

Seokjin bites his lip and ducks his head. He can’t help smiling when he realizes that Hoseok is still interested and not deterred from Seokjin pushing him back. After the excitement has ebbed away, he feels giddy with pleasure all over again.

“I’d like that.” Hoseok’s answering smile takes his breath away.

Chapter Text

It’s Monday and Seokjin is home alone with Jeongguk in school and Namjoon gone with the chairman. The excitement of the weekend still thrums through his veins leaving a warm, good feeling. He wakes humming and smiling, works out the lingering thrill by cooking, all the while singing and dancing and grinning silly to himself. Music blares through the radio underscored by the beautiful sound of the ocean drifting through the window while a light breeze wafts inside seasoning his food with sea salt. He tilts his head towards the sun and sighs contently. It’s so bright, so wonderful. It reminds him of Hoseok and his sparkling eyes and radiant smile. His heart flips at the thought of him. It’s like a dream, he still can’t believe what happened. He’s wanted this and then he was equal parts excited and happy and scared. It was thrilling. It was breathtaking. And he thinks he wants it again. He bites his lip as blood rushes up to his ears. Oh, Hoseok, why is he so gorgeous and hot and perfect. He’s nice, too, he can say that, now, that he’s actually held conversations with him. And his kisses… Seokjin buries his burning face in his hands as he remembers the electrifying feeling. HoseokHoseokHoseok. He’s such a goner.

In the end, only a little bit of the vegetables gets burned while he’s daydreaming. It’s salvageable, edible, delicious even. It’s also a lot. Like I-actually-don’t-wanna-eat-the-same-thing-three-days-in-a-row-alas-kind of a lot. He puts a large amount aside for his brothers and considers the rest. Hm. Even a glutton like himself can’t take on all of this, a wise man admits defeat when it is due. It’s not even noon, hunger hasn’t striked, yet. And then he brightens.

“Phone phone phone, where are you-“ He finds it and starts scrolling through his contacts. There, he grins. Bucket hat, fishing buddy, blunch partner. And then he frowns. He hasn’t set a profile picture for him, yet. Well, that won’t do. Priorities, so he looks up pictures in his gallery first. Ah, fishing. That was nice, too. He smiles at the few pictures he’s taken at the temple reminiscing. Hanging out with Yoongi was surprisingly a lot of fun, funny, really really nice. Why haven’t they done this before? Oh right, workaholic Yoongi, and honestly, Seokjin has been pretty preoccupied, too, what with their father and work…

No matter, better late than never and all the more reason to meet up today, now, to have Blunch together! He laughs imagining the scowl on that button nosed face. Hm, should he take the picture with them both looking at the camera? That’s a nice one… oh, hold on, there’s another one. His eyes linger on the last photo. It’s Yoongi looking into the distance, cast in a warm light with a serene expression on his face. You can see his perfect side profile, the way all the curves and edges and slopes of his face blend into each other in the most proportionate, most beautiful way. With a finger he traces the line from the rim of his bucket hat, along the soft curve of his nose (the urge to bop the tip is strong, it’s so cute), down the slight pout and chin. Hm. God clearly has his favourites. Money, character and looks, too, Hoseok and Yoongi totally got more than their fair share. Yoongi should show off his good looks more often instead of hiding it behind books and his phone. And while he’s at it, more casual wear with cute hat and sweater paws and shorts. Those legs… He blinks. On to the task.

He sets it as his profile and texts him. Then he texts him again. It turns past noon when he’s done cleaning up and still there’s no reply from Yoongi. He frowns, is he so busy that he won’t check his phone? Should he bother him, he wonders. He stares at his mountain of food in contemplation and comes to a decision. This meal is not for one person and if you’re so busy that you can’t check your text messages when you’re the CEO who’s literally always on the phone, well, then you clearly need to take a break. He’ll come to Yoongi’s rescue. Putting the meal into a basket he sends Yoongi a last message before he makes his way over to the mansion.

“Miyoung-nim is on the line, do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m connecting.”

“Thank you, Jisoo.” He glances at the clock. Almost noon.

“Yoongi.”

“Miyoung.”

“Have you answered the Jangs, yet?” Always to the point. He groans internally.

“Yes, I have.”

“And?”

“I declined.” Miyoung tuts. “Yoongi.”

“What? You said you wouldn’t push.”

“And I am not. But a mother worries.” A mother does the maths and counts two sons equals two mergers. “I just want you to be happy. Look at Hoseok!” Yoongi can’t hold back a snort. Hoseok is this close to calling off the fucking engagement.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He clears his throat.

“Yoongi, I thought you liked her.” He rubs his forehead, feeling a headache building. He’s not in the mood for this conversation. “How’s the wedding planning going? Did Hoseok say anything?”

There’s a pause, then a sigh. “The planning is going fine, Hoseok is accommodating.”

“Hoseok and accommodating?”

Miyoung hums, “A miracle, I know. I knew that Jimin is good for him.”

“Are you sure it’s not him being accommodating because he doesn’t plan on going through with the wedding?” She tuts. “Why wouldn’t he? Because of Seokjin? Don’t worry, he’s just panicking, everyone does before marriage. He’ll get over it.”

He’ll get over it… what about Seokjin then? Suddenly, he dreads every possible outcome of this mess. Someone will get hurt in any scenario. It shouldn’t be Seokjin.

“And Seokjin is a good boy, he’ll behave even if Hoseok doesn’t.” Yoongi frowns unconvinced. Usually, they’re on the same page but in this case he has his doubts and Miyoung, seemingly not being in the know of the depths of the feelings involved, appears too optimistic, if you ask him. In any case, he needs this conversation to end now. He’s had enough of mulling over this mess. It’s fucking Monday and not even lunchtime.

“If you say so. Miyoung, I-“

“-have a conference whatever, I’m done, anyway.”

Yoongi blinks, “Uh, how did you know?”

“I’m your mother, you think I don’t know your tone when you’re about to try to cut me off?” He blushes, caught off guard, “Ah. Well, uh.”

“I expect you at dinner, son.”

“Y-yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Good.” The call ends.

Leaning back he closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. This is getting to him. Fuck. He’s tired.

Suddenly, his phone vibrates startling him. He grabs it and makes to check the text message but pauses when he sees Seokjin’s name on the screen. His heart skips a beat. Seokjin.

He’s texting him, why is he texting him. Thoughts whirl around in his head until his mind is just blank, his sole focus those neat little Hangul on the bright screen, screaming SeokjinSeokjinSeokjin. He puts the device face down and far away from him. It can’t be anything important. They don’t know each other well enough to share important stuff. It can wait. It can get lost in the endless messages on his phone. Along with the pictures from the weekend. Along with his shrivelling, shrinking useless heart.

He exercises his immense willpower and returns his focus to the numbers in front of him, ignores a second notification, a third. Minutes tick by.

He caves in.

His eyes widen as he reads the texts, heart pounding.

Yoongi-ah, would you like to have blunch with me? I cooked a lot and need someone to share it with! I could come by your office? –your blunch partner :)

We can have Lunch if that’s more agreeable to you. It’s okay, it’s almost noon, anyway.

Yoongi-ah, I think you need a break, we’re having blunch now. I’m coming over.

He’s coming over. Oh no. He hears sudden laughter and happy chatter outside his office. Seokjin. Before he can gather himself there’s a knock and the door swings open.

“Hello, Yoongi-ah,” Seokjin enters with a broad smile and waves with one hand in greeting. With the other he carries a large basket covered by a blanket that matches his pink sweater. He looks so homey. Before the door closes he catches the eyes of Jisoo, his secretary, grinning and winking at him. That devil. He loses all track of thought, though, when Seokjin comes nearer, invading the room, his space, the very air he breathes.

He’s on his phone. Either he’s checking just now or he’s been ignoring Seokjin. Hm. He’s probably too busy to answer idle chats. Brushing it of, he keeps smiling and puts the basket down on the desk.

“I hope you have appetite, I cooked too much for one person so I thought I could maybe share with you, since Namjoon and Jeongguk are out of house. You didn’t respond to my texts so I wasn’t sure but Jisoo just told me that you’re free for lunch, now.” He waits for Yoongi to say something. But he’s just staring back at him with wide eyes and parted lips, phone still in hand. Tilting his head he asks, “Yoongi-ah, do you want to eat lunch with me?” Yoongi blinks, “Uh, okay.”

“Great!” Seokjin grins and begins to unpack the meal, “Oh, could you-“

Yoongi startles, “Sure, let me.” He puts the papers and documents aside making room for the food. “It’s a lot.”

Seokjin winks at him, “I told you, I cooked a lot. I always cook too much when I’m in a good mood.”

“I can tell you’re in a good mood.”

Seokjin hums, “It was a good weekend.” Yoongi smiles, “Was it?”

“It was.” He puts the now empty basket down and takes a seat opposite of Yoongi . “I went fishing and caught my first fish. I saw the most amazing sunrise.” His eyes twinkle in delight as Yoongi’s smile widens. There’s a lovely hue on his cheeks as he ducks his head. He’s always trying to hide his smile. Why so shy?

“And I had great company.”

“Did you? I wonder who.”

“Me too.” He sighs dramatically. “I couldn’t make out his face under the bucket hat. And he doesn’t respond to my text messages.”

“Hm.”

“But,” Seokjin smirks and leans closer making Yoongi look up again. He lifts a finger and at last, bops the soft pillow of his nose. Yoongi jerks slightly in surprise, squinting.

“He had a cute nose just like yours.” Yoongi blushes further as Seokjin laughs in delight.

Yoongi clears his throat. “What uh, what did you cook?”

“Ah, I’m glad you asked. Here you have japchae, Mandu dumplings, Mung bean pancake, fish stew, fried dumplings, and of course, bibimbap.” He serves each of them a bowl of mixed rice. “Please enjoy while it’s still warm.” He smiles proudly at the pile of food. He outdid himself. And needs to restock their fridge later on.

Yoongi frowns. “You don’t eat bibimbap with japchae.”

Seokjin pouts at him. “Yes you do!”

“No.”

He presses his lips together and grabs a pair of chopsticks digging into japchae.

“Yes you do. In any case, today you will!” He lifts the portion of japchae to Yoongi’s mouth. “Aah!”

Yoongi squints at the chopsticks then takes the mouthful in resignation. His furrowed eyebrows smoothen as he seems to enjoy the taste. “It’s really good.”

Seokjin beams.

While they’re eating Yoongi doesn’t stop praising the dishes, asking him how he cooked this or that and what ingredients he used.

“Have you considered working as a chef? Maybe with your own restaurant?”

Seokjin chews and swallows thinking about the question. “Well, I have worked in a kitchen back in Seoul. But my own restaurant?” His own place, decorated the way he likes it with a menu of his own, it’s appealing, but - “I wouldn’t know where to start. I learned mechanics, I don’t know much about business.”

Yoongi leans back and pushes his glasses up his nose resting a finger on his lips. He’s hiding a smirk again, really, he can’t fool Seokjin.

Yoongi says, “I wonder who you could ask who knows a thing or two about business.”

Seokjin stares at him. Is he really offering his help?

“Yoongi…”

“It’s just a thought, I know. But if a restaurant of your own is really what you want…” Yoongi drifts of, looking at him softly.

Seokjin smiles. He’s so considerate, so sweet. “Thank you, Yoongi. I appreciate the thought.” Yoongi nods, returning his smile with a small one of his own, warm and kind, as always. He has really nice eyes… Seokjin blinks, grabs a dumpling and lifts it to Yoongi’s lips. “Aah!”

“Uh, I’m full.”

“Nonsense. Aah!”

Yoongi takes a bite.

Laughter and chitchat outside his office, then the door opens to a smiling Seokjin, today in soft blue with a – whale? So cute. He glances at the clock. Lunchtime, and just like yesterday, he sees a grinning, winking Jisoo who digs into her own serving of japchae? Whatever Seokjin brought along, before the door swings shut.

And like yesterday, he’s here, a warm, happy presence with delicious food tasting like home and love. It gives him heart conditions – the reason being fat, he’s eaten more lunch in the past week than the rest of his life, in fact, he usually skips this meal.

Seokjin talks and beams. His heart gallops. Okay, maybe it’s not the fat, maybe he should admit it already, at least to himself…

No. Put a name on it and you’ll sink deeper, admit it and you’re one step further away from being okay. Yoongi is conflicted. He wanted to stay away to protect himself but when Seokjin barges in like that, taking up space in his life, his thoughts, he can’t refuse him, can’t deny him anything. He just really likes his company, he’s so funny and easy to get along with and a wholesome distraction from the stifling work.

Why is it that business comes so easy to him, making hard, quick decisions, swaying partners, predicting market swings, taking risks with money… he wins at anything, anything he touches turns to gold. But when it comes to Seokjin… What if Seokjin is the one thing he can’t win? The one wager he’ll lose? There isn’t much in his life that scares Yoongi. But when it comes to Seokjin, he’ll take what he can get and doesn’t dare take more lest he loses it all.

And yet… see, spending time with Seokjin makes his head muddled and his heart hopeful. It makes him lose focus, makes him dream of more and forget the danger.

Since his return, they’ve become somewhat closer. What if he takes his chances? What if he can win Seokjin’s interest? What if he takes his bets and the risks and wins? He looks at Seokjin, at his bright eyes and lovely smile. He doesn’t dare imagine the fortune. He can’t be this lucky. Can he be this lucky?

He’s always been so proud of being a fighter, a hard worker. Is he not the biggest coward if he doesn’t even try?

Win his interest, and the mess with Hoseok will solve itself. The merger will be saved. Win his interest, and it’ll be his biggest prize yet.

Fight, Yoongi. Do it for the merger. Do it for yourself.

He wets his lips, feels his heart race in his chest.

“Hey, Seokjin. It’s Tuesday.”

“Hm? So?” Seokjin looks up from his bowl with puffed out cheeks like those of a hamster while he chews with a pout. It’s so –

“It’s work-out day.” Seokjin considers him, swallowing the bite. Then it clicks and he grins with shining eyes, “Oh, the smiling sessions?”

“Hm. I was wondering,” Yoongi can’t help blushing, “Would you like to join me?”

“Have you asked your coach for permission? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“I used up all my powers of persuasion and got him to agree. He might be grim, though,  and make it hard for you to smile.”

“I accept the challenge.” His heart skips a beat. “Really?”

Seokjin laughs, “I hope to do a better job than your coach. His results are lacking.”

Yoongi scowls, “I’m hilarious, and my scores are always top notch.”

His laughter escalates, eyes scrunching shut. Yoongi can’t help joining in.

“Oh.”

Still grinning, he looks up to see Seokjin staring at him wide-eyed. “What?”

Seokjin keeps gazing at him, at his grin. It makes him self-conscious so he ducks his head blushing, trying to wipe away the stupid smile from his face. Clearing his throat he says, “Well, uh, so if you want to join me, I still have to work for a bit but we can meet at six o’ clock, do you know the side door by the terrace? I’ll wait for you there. Uh, smiling session aside, I was thinking, “ He glances at Seokjin and promptly gets lost in his eyes. They’re framed by a soft kohl line, today, and underlined by a lovely pink to his cheek. He’s so handsome. He looks so soft. And his eyes are attentive, focused on him, waiting for him to say what he wants to say.

“Uh, I was thinking, we could have dinner together?”

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “Oh, uh, sure, should I bring something?”

“No, no, I- I’ll take care of dinner, I’ll cook us something. Let me.” Why is he so nervous, they’ve had meals together before, they’ve cooked together before. He frowns and drops his hand from where he was biting his nails.

Seokjin’s face breaks into a radiant smile, “Well, I’m looking forward to it, Chef Min Yoongi.” Yoongi’s breath stutters. Oh, it’s a heart-lung condition now.

Jeongguk sulks, again, while Namjoon gives him a weird look, again. He loves them, really, he’s even made dinner for them before he’s off to meet Yoongi but can’t they tone it down a bit? He’s an adult with engagements and social life outside family, which, come on, like Jeongguk isn’t out every other evening for dance classes and what not (in fact, he’s just left now, even before Seokjin, hello?) and Namjoon has his friends, too.

“Well, you didn’t used to have social engagements,” Namjoon says, adding in a lower tone, “if that’s what you’re calling dates nowadays.”

“Joon-ah!”

“What?” He smirks, “I’m not saying anything!”

“You’re saying everything with your everything!”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Yeah, because it’s namjooning, Namjoon, you’re namjooning that’s why it never makes sense!” His ears are burning. He wants to laugh or to hit his brother, he hasn’t decided, yet, it’s a fine line.

“What are you even doing with Yoongi?”

“We’re just hanging around, talking, having dinner!”, he responds defensively.

“U-huh, and what are you doing with Hoseok tomorrow? Also just talking? Just hanging on his lips? Literally?” He wants to hit him.

“Namjoon, I really want you to finish and publish that five hundred page novel so I can grab it and throw it at you.”

Namjoon stops in his laughter and sighs wistfully, “Yeah, me, too. Well, not the last part but, you know, the novel finishing part.” Seokjin tilts his head back and groans.

“Yah, listen, I’m going now, if you use the stove to warm up the food remember to turn it off again. If you’re using the microwave, remember not to use the bowl with the metal rim.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, his eyes wide and innocent. “Of course, of course, you don’t have to tell me.”

Seokjin shoots him a glare. Oh, he’s exactly the one he has to tell this. As he leaves, his brother shouts after him, laughter ringing in his voice.

“Have fun, hyung! Don’t kiss and tell!”

Yoongi is already there when he nears the terrace. He waves at him but Yoongi barely spares him a look, glancing left and right before grabbing his hand to pull him inside. “Yoongi-ah”, he huffs, “are we hiding from anyone?”

Yoongi drags him down the hall. “Ah, no, not really.” Suddenly he turns around a corner and pushes them both flat against the wall, hiding behind a large plant.

“Wh-“ Yoongi shushes him with a finger to his lips. Then he hears footsteps.

“… haven’t. Who knows where my wayward sons are, they skip breakfast and dinner nowadays like teenagers avoiding their annoying parents again. I thought we’ve been past this…” Miyoung passes them with brisk steps and phone in hand, her voice growing faint.

He leans in to whisper into Yoongi’s ear. “Are you skipping dinner with your parents?”

Yoongi startles, cheeks turning red. “Please don’t snitch.”

Stifling a laugh, he presses his lips together and tries for a serious look. “I won’t. Scout’s honour.” At that, Yoongi grins, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. He’s always thought his brother’s bunny smile is the cutest thing on earth but when Yoongi’s small smile stretches further revealing this bit of gum and little teeth, when Yoongi’s aloof composure breaks leaving crinkled eyes, blushing round cheeks and open joy, it’s even sweeter.

“Come on.” Yoongi pulls him further down the hall, turning this way, then that – Jeez, this place is big. And then they enter a large kitchen with shining pots, modern cooking utensils and a long countertop. So much space. He’s never cooked in a place as big as this. “Wow, this is bigger than some restaurants.”

“It’s the smallest kitchen here.”

He whips his head around to stare at Yoongi with wide eyes. “Really? How big are the others? How many do you have?”

“Three. One, the biggest one, for the parties and guests. The second is for everyday, for the family dinners and staff. And this one.” Yoongi shuts the door behind them and strides over to a corner.

“And what do you use this kitchen for?”

“It’s closest to the bed chambers,” he shrugs off his jacket and hangs it over a chair, “it’s convenient whenever you have a craving for midnight snacks.”

Seokjin lets out a surprised laugh, “You have a kitchen of this size for the occasional midnight snack?” Unbelievable, this kind of richness.

“And the occasional midnight coffee.”

He smirks and walks over to Yoongi. “And the occasional secret dinner with a secret guest.”

Yoongi looks him over as he comes near. “Yeah…”

“Do you do this often?”

“Hm?”

“Skipping family dinner, having someone over, doing a secret cooking session?”

“Uh, no…”

Seokjin halts in front of him and leans against the table tilting his head. “Oh, am I special then?” He winks and grins at Yoongi and laughs when he gets him all flustered. Scratching behind his ear Yoongi steps around him avoiding his eyes. “Let’s uh, let’s see what we’ve got and get started!”

They gather steak meat, rice and salad. Like on their fishing trip they work well together in the kitchen and soon the rice is cooking, the vegetables chopped and the meat seasoned and ready to be fried. They sit by the table and share a beer while they wait for the rice to be done. It’s going well. It’s perfect, actually, to wind down from work and family business like this, closed off in the kitchen unknown to anyone else. It’s like being in their own world. He takes another sip contently.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Seokjin looks uncertain biting his lip.

“Sure.”

Seokjin’s ears turn red. “Could you tell me about Park Jimin?” Like a feather, his heart comes down from its high, softly but surely, with every drop of altitude feeling the gravitational pull getting stronger and stronger. He drops his gaze to his drink before taking another sip.

“Checking out your competition, huh?”

Seokjin splutters. “I- I’m just curious”, he pouts.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Hng, you make it sound so…” He huffs, “Namjoon met him once or twice, but he refuses to tell me anything. He means well, I guess, but he looks at me sometimes, and it’s so judgemental even if he doesn’t mean to…” He looks dejected resting his chin on the lip of his bottle.

“Hey, you know you can ask me anything, I won’t judge.” Turning his head slightly, Seokjin gives him a grateful smile. “I know. That’s why I’m asking you.”

Where’s this self-doubt coming from, he wonders. It peeves him that Hoseok holds so much power over Seokjin, that he’s the reason Seokjin would doubt himself, would feel the need to compare himself to someone else, that he’d question his worth. When he’s so much more.

“Well, Park Jimin”, Yoongi nods. “He’s a good guy.” He actually really likes him, apart from his natural charm, he’s genuinely nice and smart, decent. He’s more than Hoseok deserves.

“And?”

“And?”

“Yah, spill, I can take it. I already know he’s a paediatrician, I guess you can’t get any more goody-goody than that.”

Yoongi snorts. “Fine. He’s smart. He’s got money. He’s genuinely nice.”

“He looks good, too?”

“He looks good, too.”

“Huh,” Seokjin drops his face into his hand, “He really is perfect, huh?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I don’t know him that well. Maybe he’s evil deep down. Maybe he likes eating mint chocolate.” Seokjin huffs out a laugh then sighs. “I thought… I thought if he was anything less than perfect… if he was unlikable…”

It's in his voice, his sigh, his eyes – his whole body – the way Seokjin yearns for Hoseok’s attention, looking for a fault in his competitor to see his chances rising, to excuse his behaviour but finding none. Instead, he’s probably mulling over his own imperfections. God, does he know that feeling.

The feather touches ground.

He empties his bottle, gets up and walks over to the fridge. More alcohol. He takes a moment staring at the content, allowing his face to fall, hidden behind the door. What is he doing? What is he hoping for? He’s running in circles, circles around Seokjin while Seokjin makes a beeline towards Hoseok. What is he doing.

He takes a beer and makes to return to the table when he catches sight of Seokjin who in this moment looks just as crestfallen as he feels, staring into his equally empty bottle. He knows that feeling. His eyes soften as he regards Seokjin. Arent’t they a pair. He considers the beer in his hand and comes to a decision. Grabbing another one, he opens the lids and trudges over to Seokjin, nudging him with the drink.

Seokjin startles, then breaks into a gentle smile. “Ah, thank you.”  

“Hm.” He watches as graceful fingers wrap around the bottle, pulling it away from him and towards his mouth. It’s like watching a commercial when Seokjin tilts his head back to take a sip, long neck stretched and exposed enticingly, eyes closed in pleasure and pink lips pouted. Yes, thank you, he needs to buy that drink, now.

“For what it’s worth,” he starts, “I think you’re more handsome than him.”

Seokjin swallows, then grins at him, eyes twinkling. There he is. “Thank you, Yoongi-ah. It’s worth a lot.” Yoongi smiles. He may not know what he is doing, may not be able to save his own heart but this he knows: he can be a good friend to Seokjin, give him courage, make him happy. It’s what Seokjin deserves.  And the smile he receives is rewarding enough.

Yoongi walks over to the rice cooker, checking the… whatever, and pokes around in the salad with chopsticks while nursing his drink.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Hm.”

“Do they love each other?” He pauses. Do they love each other? Love… What is love? In a world of arranged and political marriages and masks, who can tell? Another question flashes through his mind. Does Hoseok love Seokjin? Does Seokjin love Hoseok? He thinks he only knows the answer to one of those and it’s depressing.

"I don't know. They fit together. They're definitely fond of each other."

Seokjin frowns. "But... it's not an arranged marriage, is it? I thought they marry out of love?"

Yoongi shrugs, "It's not. And maybe, who can tell. I can’t imagine a different reason for Hoseok to put a ring on it."

"But... so your parents didn't push him or anything?" 

He snorts, "You can't push my brother to do anything he doesn't want to. And our parents... they respect our freedom and don't force us in this matter. We're lucky with them, actually."

"Meaning you don't have to marry?"

"Meaning that I don't have to sit through as many set up dates as, say, Park Jimin."

"Oooh, do tell," he glances over his shoulder to see Seokjin all gleefully attentive with bright eyes and face propped in his hands, "when and how was your last date? I can’t remember seeing you going steady. Has no one ever caught your eyes?"

He turns back to the salad, shrugging helplessly, feeling his face burning. He wants to be a mountain monk, one of those who meditate the whole day and who can control their freaking blood pressure so that he can stop blushing all the time in front of Seokjin. So that he can stay motionless and keep his eyes closed all day, pretending to be a stone. Cold, hard. Heartless. In the next life.

Behind him, Seokjin chuckles. “I guess you don’t kiss and tell? Hm. You know what they say about you?”

Frowning, he finally turns to face Seokjin with questioning eyes.

Seokjin continues with a grin, “They say the eligible Min-Jung brothers cannot be tied down. While playboy Hoseok can’t seem to settle with one lover, you won’t spare anyone a second glance and are married to work. The bachelorettes of Busan’s high society are devastated and at a loss with you heartbreakers.”

Yoongi snorts. “They just want the name and the money.”

“Come now, not all of them are that shallow,” Seokjin’s eyes twinkle with humour, “I’m sure some of them are in it for the cars-”

“That’s the depths I’m looking for, silly me, to think I’d be reduced to mere money.”

“-and your good looks.“

“I-“, Yoongi stops in his tracks, lips parted. Did he just say he’s handsome?

Seokjin starts laughing, breaking his stupor. In that moment, the rice cooker makes a noise. The rice is ready.

“I’ll get to work with the steaks.”

“Oh yeah, let me do the salad.”

Seokjin comes over and starts mixing the salad adding dressing.

“Hey, can I ask you another question?”

Yoongi’s lips quirk. “I didn’t know we were playing twenty questions.”

“Yah, I swear, it’s the alcohol. It makes me namjooning.”

“It makes you what?”

“Namjooning, getting all deep thought philosophically weird, I can’t help it, it’s probably in the genes. I mean, Namjoon is namjooning 24/7.” Yoongi laughs while Seokjin makes a pouty face. The oil sizzles as he puts the first piece of meat into the pan. He loves that sound.

“Fire away.”

“Well, I’ve been wondering for a long time. And it just came to my mind again, when you mentioned it. How come you never took your father’s name?” Oil spits as he adds a second steak. He shrugs. “I just stuck with my Mom’s name.”

He feels Seokjin’s eyes on him. When he doesn’t elaborate he says, “Didn’t your father mind?”

He shrugs again. “We aren’t Chaebol, we work our way up there. Whether you’re a Jung or a Min, it doesn’t matter so much.”

“Really?”

He snorts, “Seokjin, if you’re looking for a K-drama worthy sob story, I can’t give you one.”

Seokjin bursts out laughing, his eyes crinkled with joy. “Aw, here I am, hoping to quench my K-drama thirst while waiting for the next episode of Crash Landing on You.” 

Smiling, Yoongi shakes his head. “It’s just a name, you know. But… it’s my mother’s, it’s a part of her that I can carry with me when I have barely anything else from her.”

His mind drifts off to his mother, her face that he only knows from the photographs, her voice he thinks he remembers from when she must have sung him to sleep with lullabies… her warm touch, her soft smile, the smell of their home in Daegu. It’s barely anything he can grasp and maybe more imagination than actual memory.

She was a past love affair of his father. When they broke up she didn’t tell him about the pregnancy. By the time illness struck and she was forced to contact him again to provide a safe future for Yoongi his father was married and had a son with Miyoung. They took him in most generously, even though it must have irked Miyoung to have the kid of her husband’s former love affair under her roof, to have people talk about the illegitimate son. Maybe that’s why they didn’t change his name, to secure Hoseok’s place, to make clear who is the true heir of this household. But since he could think and walk and talk he remembers Miyoung as nothing but a good, loving mother. She even proposed the idea of changing his name allowing him to choose. He declined.

“I never cared about the advantages and disadvantages to the name, or about what the people said, it’s no big deal. I’m comfortable with being Min, and I didn’t need my father to make a name for myself, anyway.” He shrugs and looks at Seokjin… whose eyes are suspiciously wet?

“Are you crying?”

“Yah, it’s the onion.”

“We didn’t prepare onion for this salad.”

“Yoongi-ah, when I say it’s the onion, it’s the onion.”

“Okay. It’s onion.”

Wiping his eyes, Seokjin asks, “Do you remember your mother?”

“Not much. I was too young…” It hurts to admit it, but he’s long come to terms with it. He flips over the meat. Smells delicious.

“I don’t remember mine very much, either.” He whips his head around to stare at Seokjin. A small smile plays around his lips, eyes still glistening and looking wistful. “Even though I was old enough to collect memories of her… I wished I’d remember more. And it, “ here he heaves a heavy sigh, “hurts, to have memories of her fade with time. Appa used to tell stories about her. But now he’s gone, too. And I wonder, I wonder how I can keep these memories alive, and what it’d be like if I failed and one day no one remembers them.” He drops his gaze stirring the salad. “Appa always left oil smudges on the cupboards. I’d always get dirty hands, whether I worked in the garage or in the kitchen. He’d come home and throw his driver’s cap at the hallstand. It was telltale, the sound of his heavy steps and then the thud when the hat lands on its designated place, that it’s home time. And he loved cooking for us but half of the time I couldn’t really make out the taste, he’d always spice it up so much, killing all taste buds. Jeongguk loved it, I think he’s developed a foible for really spicy food.” He chuckles. “He’s started to slip more spices into everything we cook whenever we don’t pay attention. And Namjoon, sometimes he’s daring and throws the cap just like Appa. But it’ll hit the wall, the pictures, it’ll land anywhere but on the hallstand and something always crashes.” He meets Yoongi’s eyes solemnly.

“It’s the little things that leave the biggest gaps. And when Jeongguk spices things up, when Namjoon throws the cap around, it feels a bit like Appa, like he’s present and his memories live a little longer. And Min is just a name but it carries weight.” He touches his shoulder and squeezes it lightly. “I think your mother would be very happy that you honour her and keep her name.”

Seokjin. How can one person, a few words, a pair of eyes, rock his world so much? He swallows around the lump in his throat, staring into those ocean eyes, seeing the familiar pain and longing reflected in them. He reads the stories told in them, the love of his parents, for his parents, the way he misses them, the way memories come and go steadily like the ocean tides, the way they can be fickle like the unpredictable sea itself and get lost irretrievably. The hand on his shoulder is a warm weight, anchoring him amidst high waves and strong winds. He leans into the touch, tilting his head just slightly towards the warmth.

In this moment, he feels closer than ever to Seokjin. They found a sense of understanding, a kindred soul in each other through memories of loss and grief, like he’s never had with anyone else. And more than ever, he can’t resist the pull of him, doesn’t want to resist him. He wants to sink deeper and deeper, to get lost in those ocean eyes. He wants to drown in nothing but Seokjin.

Parting his lips, he takes a step forward at the same time that Seokjin’s eyes widen.

“The steaks!” The smell of burning meat reaches his nose. Hastily, they drop away from each other as Yoongi saves their dinner just in time, heart pounding from something else entirely.

“Oh my God, Yoongi, it’s delicious.”

Yoongi grins. “It’s good, huh?”

“It’s fantastic.”

There’s a mischivious glint in Seokjin’s eyes. He watches him suspiciously. “What?”

“Oh, you know, the steaks have been raised.” Yoongi frowns while Seokjin can barely hold back his laughter. “For what?”

Seokjin guffaws, hiding his broad grin behind a hand, “For, for food puns!” Yoongi’s eyes widen, and then he scowls deeply, “Oh, Seokjin, no!”

“A- a steak pun is a rare medium well done!” He almost doubles over laughing at his own not funny really bad joke. Yoongi puts his chopsticks down demonstratively and glowers at him.

“I once became a vegetarian for a while. A huge missed steak! Hahahaha”

He grimaces, it’s so terrible. “Seokjin, stop. One more pun and I’ll throw you out.”

“Oooh,” Seokjin cackles, “please, don’t go steaking my heart- aarh!” Seokjin pushes away from the table as Yoongi attacks with a piece of steak between chopsticks, trying to stuff his mouth to shut him up. When he jumps up to get further away Yoongi gives chase, done with all the terrible puns. Seokjin yells with laughter as he uses a towel to fend off an advancing Yoongi. In the end, he gives in red-faced clutching his stomach, accepting the piece of meat (“Why can’t cows become detectives? Because they refuse to go on steak-outs- hmph!”).

Later, when Yoongi lies in bed he reminisces the evening with Seokjin and smiles. He hopes these memories will stay for a long time.

Chapter Text

Today Seokjin has a date with Hoseok. A proper dinner date. He’s met up with him and kissed him once, already, has been dancing with him at the party. But the anticipation of this date still puts butterflies in his stomach and gives him heart palpitation. He sits through lunch with Yoongi distracted by daydreams, heart in his throat everytime he’s about to tell Yoongi about the date but holding his tongue again and again reminding himself that Yoongi and the Jungs are actually against them seeing each other. He wishes to share his excitement, to tell Yoongi, whom he’s grown so fond of as of late, whom he feels like he can trust with anything. Even now, despite the predicament, he thinks Yoongi would listen and understand him. Still, he’ll disapprove and Seokjin doesn’t want him to look at him with disappointment. He’s gotten used to the soft, warm eyes directed at him, feels like he’s worked hard to be granted the sweet gummy smile – he doesn’t want to lose that. A thought flashes through his head, making him flush. He’s greedy, nowadays, wanting the attention of both Hoseok and Yoongi. He wants lunches and fishing trips with Yoongi, sneaking into the kitchen for secret dinners, and he wants Hoseok in his arms, his kisses, his affection. Greedy, so unlike the Seokjin from before Seoul.

Before, he’d always held himself back. Family came first (and still does), and misfortune struck so soon when their father got ill. So much fell on his shoulders as the eldest when their father’s condition worsened. So much responsibility and sorrow. He remembers how the moments he took from his daily life to glimpse at the glittering parties helped him escape for a bit, how dreams about Hoseok made him forget. They gave him a kind of solace his brothers could not. He wonders, now, if things were different, if his father hadn't fallen ill, whether his crush on Hoseok would have grown to this scale and what his dreams would have been like. Seoul, he thinks. He’s always been mesmerized by the glittering world of the beauty and the rich and would have liked to study acting to maybe find entry to it.

At any rate, he’s seen Seoul, now. And tonight, he’ll see Hoseok. He’s living his dreams, after all. Will his lucky streak last, though? Anything comes with a price and Hoseok is fickle. He wished he could read into the future, see whether reality will turn out as wondrous as his dreams – or whether it will all come crashing down on him.

“Are you alright?” Dark eyes look at him through a black fringe, glistening warmly as they catch the sunlight filtering through the window. Seokjin blinks. “Yeah.”

Yoongi is wearing small creoles today, plain silver that gleams prettily when he tilts his head. Since when is he wearing earrings? “You seem distracted.”

He feels his ears burning. “Ah, I… it’s bothering me, don’t you think the meat is overcooked?” Frowning, Yoongi tries said dish. “I don’t think so. It tastes really good.”

Seokjin smiles. “Thank you. I’m glad to hear.”

Nodding, Yoongi takes another bite. He watches as Yoongi hides, yet again, a smile behind the food, a blush behind the bowl. Honestly, he has to practice showing off his charming smile more often. But to tell the truth, he kind of likes being maybe one of the few who gets to see this side of Yoongi. His soft, cute as kitten side.

Yoongi clears his throat staring into his bowl. “Hey, um, I was wondering if you’re free this evening. I wanted to show you something.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “Oh… actually, I- I already have plans…”

“Of course, yeah, never mind, it’s- of course you’re-“

“I’d love to, but tonight…”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, it’s- it’s nothing-“

“We could on another day?”

Finally, he looks up, eyes wide and hopeful, his cheeks tinted a light pink. He parts his lips in a way that makes his upper lip pout a bit. Seokjin feels bad for turning him down.

“Another day?”

“Of course… anytime, Yoongi.” He leans closer with a wink and a smile. “Smiling sessions at midnight? Fishing in the kitchen? Secret dinners on land or at sea – call me up anytime.” He bites his lip, “Just not tonight, I’m sorry.”

Yoongi’s face breaks into his gummy smile. What a relief to see. He heaves a breath, feeling his heart lighten.

There’s a happy shine to his eyes as Yoongi looks at him through his eyelashes. “Another day, then.”

Seokjin nods. He’ll make it up to him.

A rose silken shirt, black pants, a silver earring - Seokjin coifs his hair neatly, puts on some perfume and gives his face a final touch. He's ready. He stares at his reflection.

Oh God, he's not ready. He should have gone with the grey shirt. No, with the blue one but with the grey pants. The earring ist too much. No, it's fine. Or should he put more make-up on? Forehead or no forehead, forehead or -

"You look great, hyung." Jeongguk stands in the doorway with a bored look on his face. "Guk-ah. Shouldn't I-"

"No, pink suits you."

"And-"

"The earring is cool. Actually," here he grins, "I want some, too. I'll have my ears pierced!"

"It's scarier than you think!"

"Tch."

Seokjin huffs out a breath. Fine. This'll do. He flashes himself one last smile through the mirror, then turns his back to it. His brother considers him critically, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.

"Hey hey what's that face, you said I looked great!” Panicking, he whips around to the mirror.

"Hyung, relax! You look perfect." Jeongguk huffs. Something's bothering him, though, Seokjin can see it in the way he's shuffling his feet with a slight pout to his lips.

"Hyung, I'm free tonight-"

Seokjin sighs, "Guk-ah, I promise we’ll start our Starcraft tournament and I'll even join you when you get your ears pierced but not tonight, tonight is-"

His brother's eyes widen, "No, hyung, I didn't mean it like that. I meant. If, if Hoseok is not treating you well, if you feel uncomfortable or something, you can call me anytime and I'll come pick you up. Wherever you are." 

Oh. Fondness wells up in him. His baby brother. "Guk-ah, you don't have to look out for me-" 

Jeongguk shakes his head, "I know, but I want to, hyung. So call me whenever." He makes a face. "Hoseok can be weird."

Seokjin snorts. "You're one to talk." He walks up to Jeongguk, smiling at him. "Thank you, Jeongguk-ah. I'll call you when I need you." Jeongguk beams showing his bunny teeth, his eyes forming crescents. Seokjin flicks his ear. "And think about the piercings, I don't want you to cry when you get them made."

"Hyung! Not all of us are scaredy-cats like you!"

"You have no idea!” Seokjin’s eyes widen as he remembers the traumatizing moments, “They come at you with needles and they pierce slowly, like, they'll wait for the first cry before they speed up things, I swear!” He shudders. “I'm just looking out for my baby brother!"

Jeongguk whines, "Hyung! I'm not a baby! I'm all grown-up, now!"

"You're still a baby!"

"Am not!"

"Are, too!" After years of experience Seokjin immediately goes into a defensive stance when Jeongguk raises his fists. They yell and jump around each other for a while boxing the air between them until Namjoon comes in. He gives them an unimpressed look.

Seokjin points at Jeongguk. “He’s a baby!”

Scandalized, Jeongguk shoves him. “I’m not! You’re a scaredy-cat!”

Seokjin hits his arm. “I’m not!” They both turn to Namjoon at the same time and shout, “Namjoon!”

“What?” Said brother puts his hands up, “I’m sorry, I can’t solve your feud. Shake hands or take it to your graves.”

“Yah,” Seokjin frowns, sharing a look with Jeongguk. “Look at Namjoon being all weird again.” Jeongguk shakes his head, putting his hands on his hips. “Yeah, Namjoon all weird again.” Then he bends his head slightly, closing his eyes and presses two fingers against his forehead with an exasperated sigh. “It’s ‘cuz he’s all adult and cool.” Seokjin mirrors him. “Yah, he’s too cool.” It’s Namjoon’s turn to narrow his eyes at them like they’re the ones talking nonsense when obviously, the weird one out of the three of them is clearly him. Take it from Seokjin, who by default, by being the hyungihyung, the handsome eldest, knows best.

Namjoon presses his lips together, showing his dimples. “Whatever. Hyung, Hoseok is at the door.”

His heart jumps. “Oh. OH. Aaahhh-“ He turns around to the mirror, but strong hands make him pirouette 360° and shove him towards the door. There, Namjoon makes him pirouette one more time for the fun of it before pushing him out while his brothers cackle behind his back. He stumbles to the front door.

Hoseok stands there, immaculate, no, gorgeous, in a neat black suit accentuated by a glittering criss-cross pattern and wow, he’s killing it. He’s killing him. Oh, his knees are jelly. He beams when Seokjin nears, dimples prominent on his face, outshined by eyes and heart-shaped smile – his features compete against each other, and the clash of their splendour radiates like the warmth of the sun. It sends sparks of heat through his body, making his heart beat faster and his ears flush red.

Hoseok winks, “Hello gorgeous. These are for you.” With a flourish he produces a big bouquet of colourful flowers from behind his back. Seokjin’s eyes widen as he accepts. “Oh, they’re beautiful. Thank you, Hoseok.” He’s never gotten flowers from anyone apart from Taehyung always putting all kinds of flowers into his hair. He loves it. “Ah, let me put them into the water. Please come in, you don’t have to wait outside.”

“Thank you.” He hurries into the kitchen to do so. When he returns, he sees Hoseok standing in the hall, looking at the photographs on the wall with a soft smile.

He bites his lip. “Well, shall we?”

Hoseok’s grin stretches wider as he looks at him. “You used to wear glasses.”

He reddens. “I still do, sometimes… “ He points at his eyes, “but, yeah, contacts, most of the time now.” With slow steps and unrelenting stare Hoseok draws near, grin turning lopsided. “You’re cute with glasses,” tilting his head his eyes bore into his, “without them, though, you look stunning.” His breath stutters.

“Oh my God.” Someone whispers loudly in the background.

“Jeongguk!” A thud when Namjoon hits the youngest.

“He’s into that?” He whips his head around in time to see Namjoon shoving Jeongguk behind the wall. He gives him a wide eyed stare, both embarrassed and exasperated with his brothers, willing them to leave him be. Namjoon, ever the smartass, gets his nonverbal communication and vanishes behind the corner. “Have fun!”

“Oh God.” Blushing he closes his eyes, not wanting to see Hoseok’s look. But Hoseok laughs heartedly, not bothered at all. Lifting his elbow towards him he says, “Let’s go, Seokjin!” Smiling, Seokjin links arms with him.

If there’s one thing Yoongi has in common with his brother it’s their love for sports cars. Most of their collection was purchased by Hoseok and it shows but even if he prefers subdued colours, he thinks, as he strolls through the rows of perfect craftsmanship, he finds the occasional blue and red and yellow amongst these beauties tasteful. And if there’s one thing in this world that hasn’t betrayed him ever, it’s his Aston Martin. There she is. His eyes widen as he sees a familiar pair of legs protruding from under the car, then he smiles fondly. “Seokjin.”

“Hm?” That’s Yoongi. He pushes himself out from under the car crashing into his toolbox when he uses too much force.

He sees Yoongi’s smile upside down, then downside up when it vanishes from his face. “Oh, Namjoon. I thought…”

“Yoongi-ssi. Ah, Seokjin isn’t here.”

“I see.”

Namjoon considers him from where he’s still lying on his creeper. “He’s out…”

“Yeah, he told me he had plans…”

“…on a date. With Hoseok.”

Yoongi stills. It’s a fleeting second but something changes in Yoongi. When he moves again he looks to the side, swallowing, shaking hair into his eyes obscuring them. The pockets of his pants bulge as his hands clench into fists while tension builds along his shoulders. Subtle, almost unreadable. Yoongi’s inner world is a mystery. But Namjoon lives a detective’s life in his novel and in this opportune moment, takes in all the clues given to him to maybe solve this enigma that is Yoongi. He pushes himself up to lean against the car to observe more closely without all the upside down perspective.

He looks – hm, but why would he look hurt? “Yoongi-ssi –“

“Please, it’s Yoongi. Yoongi is fine.” When Yoongi turns back to him his face is closed off, betraying nothing. Namjoon nods, “Yoongi-hyung. May I ask you something?”

Yoongi tilts his head to the side with a half shrug, waiting for him to continue.

“How, er, how serious is this engagement? I mean, is it arranged? Or is Hoseok truly in love with Park Jimin?” Where does my brother stand?

“Hoseok is engaged by choice. No one is making him do anything.” Yoongi answers tonelessly, like he gets this question a lot.

Frowning, Namjoon pushes further, “You understand that I ask for Seokjin's sake. I don't want him to get hurt.”

Yoongi drops his gaze to the ground. “He won’t hurt him.”

Namjoon huffs disbelievingly, “With all due respect, but Hoseok is, and you know this, too, a playboy and his affection a fickle thing. How can you be so certain?”

When Yoongi finally looks at him his eyes are sharp, something hot flashing in them. “Hoseok is a good person. He won’t hurt him.” With a huff, he repeats it, as if to convince himself. “When he loves, he loves with his whole heart. He won’t hurt him.”

“How would you know? He might love him now, but drop him just as fast as he falls in love with, like, everyone.”

Yoongi’s eyes drift into the distance towards the seaside. As if he could watch the ocean sing and glitter from here. His shoulders sag. Where they were tense before, they just look defeated, now.

“…Because it’s Seokjin. Once you get to know him you can’t help”, he swallows, “…there’s no going back.”

Something clicks. “… Some people are just easy to love, huh?”

“Yeah. Some people are just easy to love.”

“Like Hoseok.”

“…Like Hoseok.”

Namjoon tilts his head watching him closely. “And like Seokjin.”

Yoongi parts his lips, shaking his hair into his eyes but a wind picks up, pushing it aside. He looks lost. Oh, Yoongi.

His voice is low and thick when he speaks, “They match, don’t they.”

“Yoongi –“

“How’s your book?”, Yoongi asks a bit louder, giving him a lopsided smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “This place still inspirational enough?”

Namjoon sighs, staring at Yoongi. That wasn't subtle at all. Then he returns the smile. “Sure. You see sunset on the beach, I see murder on the horizon and spilled blood in the sea…”

“I can’t wait to read your book.”

He groans, “Me neither.” Yoongi snorts. “By the way, I wanted to talk to Jeongguk. He’s graduating soon and Seokjin told me he’s interested in business. I was wondering whether he would like to do an internship at Jung Trading. We offer stipends, too. Maybe you can tell him that if he’s interested he can come to my office and we can talk it over.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, “That… that would be great actually. I will. I think he’d like that. Thank you, hyung.” Yoongi nods.

“Hm. And I’ve been thinking…” His little finger reaches behind his ear scratching,  “and please don’t get me wrong, we appreciate your work, more than that. But if Seokjin and Jeongguk decide to leave and you’re left alone with the duties, we could hire more people.”

Namjoon parts his lips.

Yoongi continues, “I know, you can handle it, but I just want to make sure you know that whenever you need help, or a break, or more staff, you can tell me and we’ll find a solution together. Okay?”

Yoongi, huh? He’s a good guy, really. Namjoon smiles gratefully. “Thank you, I will.”

“Good. I can’t have you drown in work and not say a word, otherwise we’ll never see you finish that book.”

Namjoon laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Ah, well…”

When Yoongi smiles again, it’s more genuine and relaxed. He points at his car. “Everything okay with my baby?”

“Yeah, I was just checking.” He steps back from the Aston Martin, allowing Yoongi to open the door.

“Perfect, thanks.”

He watches as he climbs into the car.

“You like him”, he blurts out, stopping him in his track.

“Who?”

“My brother. Seokjin.”

Yoongi blinks. “…Of course. He’s easy to like, we’ve established that. He’s great.” He flashes him a small smile.

“Yoongi –“

“Well, see you!”

With that he pulls the door shut and is gone within seconds.

He’s easy to love. We’ve established that he’s easy to love.

60. He's on a date with Hoseok. 80. He's on a date with Hoseok. Yoongi steps on the gas. 100. 120. 150. Seokjin's on a date. With HoseokHoseokHoseok. He takes the curve sharply and speeds up. In his head the broken record keeps playing while in front of him the street becomes a blur, his eyes seeing and not seeing the road. All he can think about is Seokjin. Seokjin in Hoseok’s arms, Seokjin kissing him, laughing with him, smiling at him – just being with him.

Seokjin loving, loving, loving him.

His grip tightens on the wheel, knuckles turning white. 180. 200. He can’t breathe. Another bend. His eyes widen. He shouldn’t be driving. Gasping, he brakes, his car swerving from the force. With racing heart he gets a grip of the car, of himself and slows down further. He blinks and heaves a breath, relaxing his fingers on the wheel.

Warm light hits his face. When he looks to the side, he sees the sun setting slowly, a fireball soaking the sky red, spilling blood in the ocean. Murder on the horizon. He feels like the victim. Stabbed in the back, the pointy end of the dagger protruding through his chest, mocking him with every drop of ruby while his heart bleeds and beeds and bleeds.

He heaves another breath, exhales heavily, feeling his lower lip tremble. Why… He blinks. Why does it hurt so much.

It hurts so much. Fuck.

Why – he’s foreseen this, he’s anticipated – them – together, sooner or later. He was mentally prepared. He knew. If it had been business he would have placed his money on them. It shouldn’t hurt so much. He blinks.

But it was a matter of the heart, and he bet on himself.

At a small, empty car park by the cliff he comes to a halt. Dropping his head into his hands, he presses his fingers against his eyes. Steady, Yoongi, steady. It’s not the end of the world. Just another Wednesday. You’ve had shittier days, surely. He sighs. He wants to be a stone already.

With a huff he drops his hands. What a mess. He opens the door and steps out. His chest expands with the first breath of fresh air, a breeze tousling his hair. Burying his hands in his pockets he walks forward to lean against the hood. Before him, nature holds a mirror to his heart as the light goes down with the sun setting in a sea of crimson.

He wanted to show Seokjin this little path further down from here leading to a small cosy viewing platform. He wanted to show him the sunset and the starry sky afterwards with the blinking ships in the distance. He was chasing all those moments from their fishing trip when he managed to put wonder into his eyes, when he made Seokjin happy with sunsets and temples and fish. And he thought, if Yoongi alone isn’t enough to make those eyes shine, he’ll let him look at something that is and watch and enjoy from the sideline. His heart drops. Sunset and stars don’t hold a candle to Hoseok. Of course not. And right now, watching from the sideline is nothing but painful. It twists the dagger, bleeds his heart out, wrings it dry.

Dead man’s chest. Fill its shell with stones and drop it in the ocean, let it sink to the bottom of the sea. Drown your sorrow in rum. He rubs his eyes. He’s going crazy. With a sigh he trudges back and climbs into the car leaving the door open to allow the fresh air inside. He takes out his notebook, running his fingers over its cover. His last confidant in this world. A tiny, black something that holds too much truth. One day, he’ll just throw it over the cliff and be done with it, bury it in the ocean. He cracks it open and uncaps his pen. But not today.

Seokjin has never tried drugs, but he wonders if this euphoria comes close to that high feeling. He’s on a date with gorgeous, witty, charming Hoseok and it’s everything. He’s so nervous but Hoseok calms him with his friendliness, makes conversations so easy, lets Seokjin talk about himself and laughs at his jokes. He shows genuine interest in his person and – Hoseok is perfect. He’s the whole package and he can’t find any faults it’s almost scary, unreal. After a while, it nags at him. How can anyone be this perfect?

But he isn’t, is he? Think again, he’s engaged yet goes out with you. Is he like this with everyone? Is he like this with Park Jimin? Or more? How is this going to end? He mentally slaps himself. Nothing’s started, really, and already he wonders about the ending. It’s dumb, how he feels stripped of his gained confidence in Hoseok’s presence, when he needs it the most. He tries to keep up with him, he wants to be perfect for him, funny enough, handsome enough, confident enough. Anything less and Hoseok won’t look twice. He realizes he’s low-key stressed out during the whole dinner (which is also perfectly planned by Hoseok, candlelit in a high-end restaurant with perfect view of the ocean, with live music, the best wine, and paid by him). He tries to impress but thinks, how could he ever do so and hold his attention when seemingly no one has ever managed that? Save for one Park Jimin.

Park Jimin.

Hoseok, ever the gallant date, does not mention him once, but with the way that ominous person consumes his thoughts with self-doubt throughout dinner, he might as well be sitting next to them.

Apart from that, it’s going swell. If he focuses and ignores his fluttering heart, he can see that Hoseok above all else, is simply a great guy and great company. A good friend. A hot, good friend. He looks so good in that suit and watching him eat and drink is a whole feast in itself. He blinks. Oh God. Are dates supposed to be this stressful? He’s sweating, blushing, wants to run away or pounce on him, he doesn’t know. It started so well, and now he’s messing it up. What’s he even eating? He can’t remember his order. More wine. He gulps down half of his glass. Nooo, that doesn’t help. When Hoseok excuses himself to the washroom he finds a little respite in watching the sunset. It reminds him of the ones he saw on the fishing trip. He smiles. That was nice. Relaxing. His thoughts drift to Yoongi and the dinner in the kitchen. Simple, almost burned, even, but kind of perfect. Sometimes dinner is less about the food and more about the company.

He sighs again. What is he doing here? Looking around him, he sees the upper crust seated at lavishly decked tables in their fancy dresses and suits ordering champagne and pretending to be full after two bites. He feels out of place. Where does he fit in here? By Hoseok’s side? He doesn’t see it, yet. He huffs out a breath. What he wouldn’t give to share a steak in the kitchen with Yoongi right now. Suddenly, he imagines Yoongi in this place but with his fishing attire and promptly has to stifle a laugh. And then he reddens. God, those legs. He’d be just as distracted from dinner as he is with Hoseok. He blinks. Ah, the wine. He’s namjooning again.

Despite his doubts, all in all Seokjin did enjoy the date. He’s tired, though, with the alcohol singing in his veins and the constant nervousness thrumming through his body. Hoseok parks the car in the garage and kills the engine. They’re back home.

“Well,” Hoseok starts, grinning at him. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

He smiles, “Yes, I did. It was lovely. Thank you.”

“Me too. We should repeat it.”

Seokjin laughs. “Yeah, we should. It was fun.”

Hoseok’s eyes twinkle, “It was fun.”

“Yeah.” His eyes drift close when he hears two clicks and feels his seat belt snapping back. Hoseok’s fingers on the seat belt mounting slowly move to cover his hand lightly. When he looks up Hoseok’s face is closer than before, his body turned towards him, his eyes on him, intense, staring into him with blown pupils. Oh. Oh. He swallows, now wide awake, his heart racing and his ears flushing.

“Seokjin”, he says, his tone suddenly deep and velvety sweet, like dark chocolate melting on your tongue, “I really like you.” He moves closer still, drops his gaze to his lips fleetingly. His heart skips a beat.

“Seokjin. Can I kiss you?”

He swallows as everything zeroes in on Hoseok, as he draws nearer and nearer, as his breath fans over his skin, making him burn. “U-uh-huh. Ye –“

Hoseok kisses him. It’s warm and soft and light. A hand caresses his face, tilting his head just slightly. Still, it’s just as overwhelming as the first time and makes his heart jump into his throat. He screws his eyes shut and parts his lips, for air, for Hoseok, he doesn’t know. And then it’s hot, so hot and wet as Hoseok licks into his mouth. He moans into the kiss, grasping at his suit for any kind of purchase while Hoseok pulls him closer by the waist. He is consumed by Hoseok, hears his own heart pounding loudly as lips, tongue and hands caress him, making him shiver and gasp and tingle all over.

“Hmm Seokjin –“

“Ah, Hoseok –“ Hoseok moves down his neck, leaving hot kisses, sucking his skin. He trembles and moans from the intensity, throwing his head back, gasping for air. And then he hears something, he doesn’t know what but it makes him look up –

– straight into Yoongi’s eyes. He freezes as his heart drops. Next, Yoongi is moving, fleeing, really, and gone, before he can do anything. He shoves at Hoseok, unlocking the grip he has on his hips, breathing heavily. Shit.

“Wh-what,” Hoseok gasps, “did- did I-?”

“No- it’s-“ Seokjin takes a deep breath, looking at Hoseok’s own wide eyes. “Not you, your-“ he grimaces, biting his lip. Shit. “-your brother, he just saw us.” Shit shit shit.

He presses the back of his head against the window. Fuck.

In front of him, Hoseok does the same, leaning back in his seat with a frown and parted lips. “Just now?”

“Yeah.”

Hoseok looks out of the window searching for Yoongi.

“He left. Hoseok. Shit. Listen,” listen what? Shit shit shit. He doesn’t even know why- what’s bothering him but. Shit. Yoongi shouldn’t have seen them. No one should, really. That just calls for trouble. Fuck. He shakes his head. That’s not the reason. It doesn’t sit right. He gnaws at his lips. He can’t think, he’s a mess.

“Listen, I- this. Hoseok,” He swallows, furrowing his eyebrows, “where is this going with us?” Hoseok stares at him in silence as he panics internally. “You know, I know, that your parents, Yoongi, everyone is against this. And Yoongi, fuck, he’s seen us. What’s going to happen now?” He hiccups. Shit. “Fuck. Fuck.” He glances to the side, then back at Hoseok. “You say you l-like me.”

“Yeah, I do”, Hoseok nods.

“You say the same thing to Park Jimin?” Hoseok stays silent.

He blinks. “Do you love him?” Again, no answer. Hoseok just keeps staring.

“If you had to choose, now, would you still marry him?” He sniffs. Oh God, he’s crying. Wiping away the tears, he sees Hoseok stock still in his seat, pressed against the door with wide eyes.

“I- I don’t know?”

Of course. Of course. He nods to himself, fantastic. And suddenly, he feels a surge of anger. At himself for being stupid and at Hoseok.

At Hoseok, bane of his heart.

“Well, think about it”, he says thickly, “for my sake. And for Park Jimin’s.” He opens the door. “For everyone’s sake.” He takes a deep breath. Don’t be like this. He deflates. Turning back to Hoseok he murmurs, “I’m sorry it had to end like this.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Hoseok answers immediately, softly.

He blinks at him. He’s never seen Hoseok like this. Wide-eyed, subdued, withdrawn, still. He nods at him, then climbs out of the car and walks to the apartment, his eyes drifting over to the mansion.

Yoongi. Regret fills his heart. He didn’t mean – he shouldn’t have – He sighs, closing his eyes. He fucked up. Behind his lids he sees Yoongi in front of him, staring back at him in shock, face drained off any colour.

He looked so hurt.

It was just a moment but he could see it and it pierced his heart. And he feels so sorry for it, for being the reason of his pain. For doing something that could have been avoided. He could have avoided hurting Yoongi. He doesn’t even know why Yoongi was so hurt seeing them but that’s secondary. He hurt a friend and all he wants to do now is comfort him. With that thought, he takes out his phone. Should he? Would he want to hear from him? If he doesn’t want to, he can just ignore the message. So he starts typing, deletes, types again, deletes again. Nothing sounds right as he stands in the dark trying to form a message with an upset heart, helpless, worried about Yoongi. This won’t do. Should he go to him now? No, it’s late… maybe not the right time… he doesn't even know where to look in the vast mansion. He makes a new plan. Tomorrow, he’ll talk to him tomorrow… He’ll make lunch and they can talk. He bites his lip. Why was he so hurt? Because they might break the engagement? That doesn’t feel right. Why was he hurt?

Why was he hurt?

At a loss, he sighs. He shouldn’t have kissed Hoseok. He shouldn’t have gone on a date with him. Fuck. That’s another can of worms. He sits down on the doorstep, defeated by emotions, dropping his head in his hands. He got nothing out of this night. Hoseok is still confusing, Yoongi is upset and Seokjin is a fool as ever.

But something has changed. The sentiments have shuffled and for the first time, he felt anger towards Hoseok, for making him feel the way he does – and his heart aches not for himself, or Hoseok, but for Yoongi.

Why was he hurt?

Chapter Text

Morning greets him with a headache. Groaning, Seokjin turns onto his side, burying his face in his pillow away from the sunshine. Where is it coming from, surely he didn’t drink too much, did he? Slowly, it dawns on him. The date, Hoseok, kisses in the car. Yoongi.

And like that, sleep falls off him as his heart grows heavy. It feels like he’s finally woken up from his dream. These past days were too good to be true. To think he’d have a realistic chance with Hoseok. To think he could have it all. What does he even want? …He wants Hoseok. Perfect, wonderful Jung Hoseok, who lifts him up to cloud nine with a look, a smile, a touch alone. But he can’t take the rest of him. His straying eyes, his fickle heart, the certainty that his love is not certain. That eventually, Seokjin falls alone. Namjoon’s voice echoes in his head. He’s dragging you down.

He is. And it’s not even Hoseok’s fault. It’s just Seokjin being stupid again. Dreaming up dreams, fighting and losing against his insecurities. Wake up, Seokjin.

He opens his eyes and lets the pounding ache of his head take over his thoughts. Wake up. The pressure behind his eyes increases as he blinks against the bright daylight while his chest constricts with realization. This is reality. Reality hurts.

It’s lunchtime. Seokjin puts the meal into the basket. Running his fingers through his hair he contemplates whether to text Yoongi first or not. In the end, he decides against it, still at a loss for the proper words. Still at a loss with what he’s actually done wrong. Did he do anything wrong? Considering Hoseok is engaged, from a moral point of view he’s guilty. It makes him blush and hope that he’ll never have to look Park Jimin in the eyes. But knowing of Seokjin’s infatuation didn’t faze Yoongi whenever they mentioned it, did it? He let it be after that night at the party and he literally said he wouldn’t judge him when he asked about Park Jimin. Maybe he’s not okay to actually see them together and… risk the merger? Is it about the money? He isn’t that shallow, though, is he? Then again, money is always a possible motive. Maybe he was upset with Hoseok? But he was looking straight at him and not at his brother… Maybe he doesn’t like PDA? No, give him some credit…

That’s why he can’t write a book, let alone a crime novel like his brother. His deduction skills are obviously lacking. He sighs. There’s only one way to find out.

He’s nervous when he nears the office, wondering how Yoongi is doing. Maybe he’s misread the whole situation, projected his own stress onto Yoongi? A hopeful part of him thinks that maybe he’ll walk through that door and find a cheery Yoongi expecting his lunch partner like on any other day with no thought of yesterday. He could live with that. As per usual, he stops at the secretary’s desk to give Jisoo her portion of lunch.

He smiles at her as she looks up. “Hello Jisoo-ssi.”

“Seokjin-ssi.” Her eyes widen as she bites her lip. “Ah, Seokjin-ssi…”

“Yes?” Why is she looking like that? He tries to ignore the bout of nerves. “I made gimbap with beef and danmuji-“

“Seokjin-ssi, Yoongi-ssi is- uh, isn’t here.”

His heart drops. “He isn’t?”

“He isn’t, I’m sorry.” And she does look sorry, almost pitiful.

He blinks. “He didn’t tell me… I thought…” He thought what? That Yoongi is available everyday? He’s CEO, you can’t get busier than that. It’s a wonder he actually found the time to have lunch with him the last couple of days… Seokjin is being silly again.

“He has a meeting, short notice, you see.”

“Of course.” He looks down to his basket and suddenly, isn’t hungry anymore.

“Hey, Jisoo-ssi. Could you do me a favour?” Sitting up straighter, she nods, “Sure.”

Smiling at her, he takes out the gimbap. “This is for you… and this, could you give this to Yoongi? He shouldn’t skip lunch.”

Jisoo blushes, returning his smile. “Thank you, Seokjin-ssi, your cooking is fantastic. I’ll enjoy it.” She pats Yoongi’s package. “And I’ll make sure Yoongi-ssi won’t skip his meal.”

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You, too.”

For the rest of the day, Seokjin is slightly dejected and mostly annoyed at himself for feeling down. He tidies up, does the chores but it’s so mundane a work it doesn’t distract him from his depressing thoughts. This won’t do. He grabs a book and escapes the stifling air.

The beach, finally, makes him relax. He enjoys the sun on his skin, the sand between his toes. Waves and seagulls sing their song as the wind breathes life into trees and hair and clothes. He stares at the sky and the sea and thinks he wants this kind of harmony. Closing his eyes, he listens to the steady sound of the ocean. He wants this kind of peace. But life is storms and black clouds on the unruly sea and waves that drown you. Sometimes you see a strip of land, imagine its greenness, the white shores, yet it remains out of reach. This peace, this kind of calmness is seldom. You can wait for it, cling at anything that keeps you afloat while you’re at it. But it may never come. Heart, let him rest.

“How was your date?”

“Iwashkay” Seokjin stuffs his mouth full with food avoiding Namjoon’s eyes, hoping that was enough of an answer.

“I’m sorry? Could you repeat that?”

He puts more into his mouth and chews and chews while his ears start burning under Namjoon’s unimpressed look. God, can’t he move on? He kicks Jeongguk under the table.

“Ow! Hey!” Jeongguk scowls at him, then steals a piece of meat from his bowl in retaliation. Seokjin makes a protesting noise and tries to win back the meat. They start a chopstick fight and Seokjin is about to win, naturally, when a third pair of chopsticks intervenes. The piece of meat lands in Namjoon’s mouth. Both Seokjin and Jeongguk whine and pout at him. “Nmjn! Thawshmine!”

Namjoon points his chopsticks at Seokjin with raised eyebrows. “Shut up or I’ll ask again. And chew, Jesus.” Seokjin pouts, blushing under Namjoon’s knowing stare.

“Ask what?”, Jeongguk chimes in, oblivious, but then he brightens, “Ah, how was your date with Hoseok?”

Seokjin grumbles while Namjoon snorts.

“It was fine. How was school?”

“Meh.” His brother frowns at him. “What do you mean ‘fine’? Did he treat you well? Did he do anything weird?” Seokjin reddens further, can’t look at his brothers’ eyes. “He was great, really, no he wasn’t weird… it’s just…”

“Just what?”

He shrugs, takes another mouthful.

“Are you going to see him again?”

He frowns into his bowl, shrugging again. “Dunno. Maybe.”

“Hm. In any case!” Jeongguk claps into his hands, “Starcraft tournament starts tomorrow,” he points at Seokjin with a stern look, “No dates this weekend!”

Seokjin rolls his eyes but can’t help grinning at the prospect of spending hours with his little brother playing games. When he glances at Namjoon he’s giving Seokjin a look of contemplation. His smile falters. Namjoon sees too much.

The next day, same thing. Headache, heartache. Yoongi is not in his office again and Seokjin loses his appetite.

"Did he eat the gimbap?"

"Ah- yes, he did", Jisoo answers, biting her lip.

"Did- did he say anything?"

"He...liked it." She stares at him with big round eyes. Someone is a bad liar. 

"When will he be back?"

"Oh... I can't really tell. Could take hours, you know." In other words, no need to wait for him. He looks at the closed office door not wanting to accept the truth (he's avoiding him). Give him the benefit of doubt. He's busy, it's mere coincidence that he missed him.

He nods at Jisoo, manages a smile. "Well, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll... leave the food here if that's alright? Would you-"

Jisoo's eyes light up, "Oh, Seokjin-ssi, I don't mind at all! I’ll pass it on! And you're not a bother, I enjoy your food very much. Thank you." At least one of them does.

He feels melancholic and fears he's returning back to his old self. So when his brothers are home he's extra cheery and loud. Fake it till you make it. He does enjoy the games he starts with Jeongguk and it's by their standard a perfect Friday night with snacks and games and banter till well past midnight.

When he lies in bed in the early hours of the morning he holds his phone in his hand, staring at the text he's mulled over the last half an hour.

Hey Yoongi, are you alright? Are you free this weekend? He deletes the last question again. Too pushy…

He types it in again. He needs to know when he can see Yoongi. Let him have a way out, don’t be so demanding… Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? He sighs, pushing the button until the text field is blank and writes from the bottom of his heart.

Hey Yoongi-ah, are you alright? I’m sorry, did I do anything wrong? Can we talk?

Send.

He closes his eyes and rests his hand with his phone on his chest. He wants to fix this.

But Yoongi doesn’t answer him. Saturday passes by peacefully – well, as peacefully as it can get with Namjoon and Jeongguk – without a word of Yoongi. At some point he takes a cup of tea out to the garage and settles half hidden near by Yoongi’s beloved Aston Martin, hoping to run into Yoongi with some luck, checking his phone every now and then only to find his message still unread, unanswered. He’s ignoring him…give it some time. Maybe he’ll come around and things will be okay again. Listlessly, he walks to the front and gazes at the mansion. Just a building away, yet sometimes the distance feels insurmountable. Where he felt a door has opened to the residing people in the past week, he now thinks he’s burned the bridges between himself and both Hoseok and Yoongi before he knew it. He was so thoughtless. He shakes his head. What is he thinking? Don’t be like this. Looking to the side he sees the glittering sea in the distance, the sun high up in the beautiful sky, hears the lulling sound of the waves. He takes in a deep breath of fresh air, feeling the wind caressing his skin. Happiness is in saltwater. Happiness starts with Namjoon and ends with Jeongguk. He doesn’t need anything or anyone else. His eyes drift back to the mansion. He doesn’t want to need anything more. He didn’t do anything wrong… He was just following his heart. And if trial ends in error, it’s just life. Don’t let some boys drag you down. Save your energy.

There’s so much more to life, enough to fill his heart. Taehyung comes to his mind, with his uncanny eye for the beauty in small simple things. Adventures in the big city. Grass beneath your sole, sand between your toes. The singsong of birds, the screeching of seagulls. The vast, endless, mesmerizing ocean catching stars and sun and moon alike. The pride in catching your own fish and the delicious taste of it. He remembers the wonder of seeing a temple woken by dawn and crashing waves, remembers the joy and serenity of fishing. He thinks of his love for cooking, thinks of saving energy to maybe, one day, make a living out of his passion. If a restaurant of your own is what you want…

When his mind draws up these images, like a red string woven through them all, he sees his imprint. Sleepy, soft eyes on him, crinkling with silent laughter. A soft nose, soft lips, scrunching up and pouting in protest against his puns. The gummy smile betraying his secret love for dad jokes. He sees Yoongi, there beside him, sharing little moments with him. His hand that helps him reel in the fish and helps him cook, passing him a drink in companionship. His hand that surprises him when it reaches out for him, pulling him in for a dance, comforting him song after song after song. Yoongi, lending him his ear, offering his support, giving him the time of the day.

He drops his gaze. It’s Yoongi, just Yoongi, his neighbour, there next door his whole life with his kind smiles and friendly talk about his car, welcoming if somewhat distant. He’d call him a good friend, now, a friend whom he misses. He looks up, wondering which of the windows belongs to Yoongi’s room. He wants to fix this.

Monday rolls by, and Seokjin swallows his disappointment and smiles through another interaction with Jisoo telling him Yoongi is indisposed yet again. Give it time, give it time, he tells himself. Step back. Why is he even so attached to him all of a sudden? Didn’t he have twenty years and some to get to know him? And now, what’s changed? He’s being ridiculous again. But he’s always had a habit of dreaming dreams bigger than life, being helplessly consumed by them. He doesn’t seem to learn. He’s hit again and again with the realization that Hoseok is not meant for him. Now, he simply wants Yoongi as a friend and wonders if that’s too much to ask for, as well, if he’s overlooking something, if this, too, is out of his reach and he’s out of touch with reality. It’s nagging at him. What’s he doing wrong?

He feels dejected and finds it hard to bear, to hide in front of his brothers. He doesn’t bother trying to visit Yoongi the next day, nor the day after. Instead, he drives around town, distracts himself with shopping, meets up with an old school friend. Walking down the streets, he idly looks for small restaurants that he could imagine working at. A small old fishing town comes to his mind, a quiet cosy place by the shore, close to the source of all things seafood… close to fishing, to a certain temple. A place maybe to Yoongi’s liking as well when he means to rest after a fishing tour… he shakes his head.

He needs a job, really. Proper occupation to clear his head, to pull himself together. A busy mind doesn’t wallow in self-pity so much.

“What are you doing, Guk-ah? Are you up for a game?”

Jeongguk looks up from his laptop with round conflicted eyes, “Ah, hyung, I can’t- no, give me 30 minutes! Then we can start!”

He gives him an amused look. Jeongguk turning down gaming? That’s unheard of. “What’s so interesting that keeps you from gaming? Are you alright? Are you feeling sick?”

“Hyung!” He whines, “don’t tempt me! I’m writing an application! And I want it done as soon as possible, I’m kinda late.”

Seokjin raises an eyebrow. “An application?” About time. He smiles. “How commendable, have you decided on a university? Do you need hyung to help you fill the forms?”

“I’m going to do an internship at Jung Trading,” Jeongguk smiles excitedly, “It’s a good foot in and if I’m doing fine I can get a stipend.”

“That’s…that’s actually a good idea. How-“

“Yoongi-hyung offered, he told Namjoon so I went to talk to him.”

“You-“ Seokjin swallows. “When- when did you talk to him?” Jeongguk shrugs, “Yesterday, he said to come by his office whenever.”

Come by his office whenever. It’s like a punch to the gut. Yoongi makes time for his brother, but not for him. Jeongguk gets to see Yoongi whenever, while Seokjin looks for him in vain. It burns.

“That’s good. That’s- nice of him to offer.” He swallows, fiddles with the seam of his sleeve. “Did- did he say anything else?”

Jeongguk frowns, “What do you mean?”

“Was he…” He falters. “Ah, never mind. I’ll leave you to it then.” He turns to leave the room. “Would you like some tea, Guk-ah?”

“No thanks, hyung!”

In his room, he goes to sit on his bed and takes out his phone. No new messages. Putting it away he strolls over to his shelf. He brushes the spines of his books with his fingers as he looks over them. Hm, suspense or fantasy? His hand falters on a family album. Warm light hits his face, casting the books in an orange hue as the sun rounds the corner. Turning his head he looks out of the window, seeing the evening sun slowly calling it a day. He returns his eyes to the books. Suspense or fantasy. But his hand is already moving on autopilot, taking out the old album. He just holds it without opening it. He knows the content by heart, anyway. Every kink of page, every single picture, every story they tell. Their parents met in school. His father was a chauffeur’s son with bright eyes and the bravest heart to ask out the most beautiful girl far and wide. And she accepted his flowers just like that. They married and had kids and lived happily ever after… until. It’s a simple, a boring love story, really.

Yet it’s his most favourite story in the whole world. Their love was a sure thing. Seokjin yearns for what they had. Someone you can trust your heart with. Someone who’ll cup your dreams carefully in their hands transforming them into something more beautiful, making them real. He misses them so. He just wants his Appa to hug him and tell him he’ll find that someone one day, tell him that sometimes maybe you don’t but that that’s  okay, too. That these feelings will pass. That he didn’t do anything wrong in following his heart.

He puts the book back onto the shelf, ignores the sunset and the mansion outside his window. He’s done wallowing in melancholy. He doesn’t want to worry his brothers again, or else they’ll send him away once more. Next thing he knows, he’ll be in Timbuktu. Taking Jeongguk as an example, he opens his laptop and starts searching for job vacancies when Namjoon knocks and enters.

“Seokjin-hyung, hey.”

“Hey.”

“I made some tea, I thought you’d like some.”

“Oh, thank you.” Seokjin brightens as Namjoon puts a cup of tea on his nightstand. Then he points at his laptop. “What are you doing?”

He shrugs, “I’m looking for a job.” Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “Done with vacation?”

“Done with vacation.” He returns his focus to the screen. Namjoon is still standing there. Glancing up, he asks, “You wanna game?”

He shakes his head, “Nah. Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” His fingers pause over the keys, looking up to his brother. He knows that face. His gaze drops to his screen as his heart sinks lower and lower. When he lifts his eyes again he smiles lightly at Namjoon. “Yeah. I was thinking about working in a restaurant again. A seafood restaurant, preferably-“

“Hyung.” Namjoon steps closer and crouches down in front of him. “Are you alright?”

The light is dim in the room as the last sunrays vanish behind the horizon. But he doubts his brother’s sharp eyes have any trouble seeing through him. He swallows, smile dropping from his face. Namjoon and his bloody questions.

“You never mentioned the date. What happened?” Shrugging, he looks away. He parts his lips, but finds it hard to form words. He shrugs again, “Nothing. We just-“ His voice cracks. His face falls as the first tears build in his eyes. He sniffs. Fuck.

“Seokjin-“ Namjoon touches his knee. He chokes on a sob, his hands going up to wipe at his eyes. He draws his knees up to hide his face, unable to keep it together. Another sob escapes him.

“Seokjin” He feels Namjoon shifting closer, reaching out to comfort him.

“Cl-close the d-door”, he blubbers out, “don’t l-let-“ Namjoon quickly gets up to do so. When he returns Seokjin is a shuddering mess of snot and tears, squeezed into a small pathetic ball of heart detritus. Climbing onto the bed, Namjoon takes him in his arms, rubbing his back soothingly. He sobs into his knees, his hands, pressed against Namjoon’s chest.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, shh”

“It’s n-not”, he wails, “I’m such an i-idiot” Namjoon holds him tighter. “You’re not an idiot, hyung. What happened? Did he do anything?”

“N-no, he d-didn’t.” He tries to calm down and takes a shuddering breath. “H-he says he l-likes me and k-kissed me” he hiccups, “but he does the s-same with P-Park J-Jimin” He snivels, “The o-only difference is he’ll m-marry Park.” Not him.

Not him. “I’m an idiot.”

Namjoon moves behind him, his hands coming up around his chest and arms to hold him tighter, warmer, giving him a back hug, resting his chin on his shuddering shoulder.

“You’re not an idiot, hyung. Hoseok is an asshole. Let him marry Park. So what? You don’t want an unfaithful husband. You deserve better, hyung.”

But he wants him still. “I’m an idiot.”

“Stop. You’re not, you’re really not.” He cries harder. Namjoon rubs his arm soothingly. “You just have too big a heart, hyung. The bigger, the more attack surface, you know? Easier to hurt. That doesn’t make you an idiot.”

“Y-Y-Yoongi th-thinks I’m an idiot.”

“Yoongi? He’d never- why would he think that?”

“Th-Then why isn’t he t-talking to me anymore?”

“He isn’t? But…”

“H-He isn’t talking to me, he’s ignor- ignoring me, doesn’t w-want to see m-me” Seokjin sobs loudly, “I’m doing everything wrong! I can’t – with Hoseok – and n-now Yoongi, I ruin e-everything!”

“Hey, hey, no,” Namjoon shifts and turns, pulling his hands from his face. Softly, he wipes the tears away from his cheeks, making him look at him. It’s no use, the tears keep coming and his brother is just a blur.

“You did nothing wrong, okay? Nothing.”

He sniffs heavily, “H-he saw us k-kissing. He s-saw and l-left a-and doesn’t want anything to do w-with me since.” He heaves a shuddering breath, “I sh-shouldn’t have k-kissed, I sh-shouldn’t have g-gone on that d-date. I shouldn’t-,” He sobs. He shouldn’t shouldn’t shouldn’t. Where did this mess start, where does it end? He shouldn’t have but he did and does and remains a fool.

“Oh Seokjin.”

“And J-Jeongguk gets to see him!”, he cries. “He doesn’t even, even e-eat the f-food I bring him.” He buries his face in his hands again, curls his toes, trying to fold himself into nothing. Namjoon covers his hand, rubs calming circles into his skin and presses his forehead against Seokjin’s.

“Stop. Hyung, this hurts now, but it’ll pass.” It doesn’t feel like it’ll ever pass. “Trust me, it’ll pass, you’ll be okay.”

He sniffs. “What if I won’t be okay?”

Namjoon scoffs. “Your whole life isn’t about Hoseok, or Yoongi. Hyung, we’ve had worse and we managed, you moved on. This isn’t any different. Time will heal.” He knows Namjoon is right. But right now it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

He drops his hands, shifting his legs and wraps his arms around Namjoon, finally hugging him back tightly. His brother immediately adjust.

At last, his sobs cease. His heart and breath calm as exhaustion takes over him. He sighs, keeping his eyes closed. It has become quiet in the room. “I think… I think I hurt Yoongi.” He mumbles into Namjoon’s shoulder. “But I don’t know in what way…”

Namjoon sighs. “You have to ask him.”

“I’ve tried talking to him,” he huffs, “but-“

“Try harder.” Namjoon pulls back, squeezing the back of Seokjin’s neck lightly, staring into his eyes with a frown. “You two should talk. He’ll come around, and then you should talk.” Seokjin gazes at his brother. Then he nods, “Okay.”

Namjoon smiles, “Here, drink a bit of tea, it’ll help.” He takes the cup from Namjoon’s hand. “It’s lukewarm.”

“It’s not burned, I don’t know why you’re complaining.” Seokjin snorts as his brother gives him a dimpled smirk. He returns it with a small grateful smile.

“Thank you, Namjoon.”

“Anytime.”

Try harder.

“Hello, Jisoo-ssi. How are you?”, Seokjin asks cheerfully.

Jisoo looks up with a smile. “Oh, hello, Seokjin-ssi! I’m fine, thank you! How are you?”

“I’m good.” His heart pounds. “Is… is Yoongi here?”

“…No, he isn’t, I’m sorry.”

“Ah, I guessed so…” He looks down at his basket then smiles at Jisoo. “I hope you like kimchi dumplings.” Her eyes light up, “Oh, I love them!” He puts the dish on her desk then stares at the closed door. He looks back at Jisoo, considering her. He’s not sure but doesn’t his personal assistant have to follow him everywhere? Why is she here when he’s at important meetings? He returns his eyes to the door. Try harder. He walks towards the office.

“Seokjin-ssi? Wait- what are you-“

He throws the door open and zeroes in on Yoongi’s desk with wide eyes and racing heart. Empty. He deflates. The stacks of documents look neat, the screen is off. He really is away.

“Seokjin-ssi.”

He blinks into the vacated room. “I thought…”

He closes the door and blushes as his eyes meet Jisoo’s. “Ah, I’m sorry, Jisoo-ssi. Please forgive my behaviour.” She bites her lip. “Can I ask… did something happen between you two?” He sighs, casts one last look at the door. “Ask Yoongi.” With a half-hearted smile he bids her farewell, “Enjoy the food.”

“Seokjin-ssi-”

When he passes Jisoo’s desk the smell of food wafts over him. Seokjin was here…

“Ah-!”, Jisoo puts down the dumpling she was about to eat to give him a meaningful look. He ignores her, walking straight to his office.

“Yoongi-ssi!” With quick strides she follows him. “Yoongi-ssi!”

He takes a seat at his desk as she stares him down with her hands on her hips. He scowls.

“Yoongi-ssi. I need a word.” He tilts his head, folding his hands carefully in front of him. With a frown and a pout she continues, “Yoongi-ssi. What are you doing with poor Seokjin-ssi?” His scowl deepens. “What happened? All he’s done was bringing you the most delicious food! If you don’t like it then tell him! He comes by everyday and you won’t even touch it!” He looks to the side, grinding his teeth.

“You’re breaking the poor boy’s heart!” He broke mine first…

“You seem to enjoy it enough for two. If you don’t want him to come by then tell him.”

“Oh!” She glares indignantly, pointing a finger at him. “You tell him! He’s here for you! If I had the cutest guy on earth come by every lunch bringing me the best kimchi dumplings I’ve ever eaten I’d ask him to marry me. Huh, “ she crosses her arms, “in fact, next time he comes I’ll just-“

“Don’t-!”

“What, he yours or something?” They glower at each other. He’s sure secretaries aren’t supposed to talk to their bosses like that. Disgruntled, he drops his gaze.

“I don’t know what happened between you two but talk to him, for all the cooking and effort he makes to meet you that’s the least you can do.” He remains silent.

“Did he mess up or something?” When Yoongi still doesn’t say anything she sighs. “He looks really regretful, you know.” At that, he looks up at her. He sees exasperation but also pity in her eyes. “Whatever, just so you know, I’m not lying for you, anymore, I can’t watch this. He deserves better.” With that, she walks out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

His thoughts that all revolve around Seokjin. He hates it. He hates how he misses him so much. He got used to his presence so fast, so easily, that when he forcefully tears away from him it leaves him off balanced. This past week he’s had trouble finding footing in his daily life, his mind consumed by Seokjin. He misses him sitting with him eating lunch, talking about all and sundry, laughing, smiling, he even misses those awful jokes. But when he thinks of him he always sees the same before his eyes, Seokjin and Hoseok in that car, lips and hands on each other, Seokjin’s long neck, head thrown back in pleasure with his mouth parted around a moan. He hates it. He huffs out a heavy breath, trying to exhale that image or something. Print it like one of those documents and then shred it into thousand little pieces until it’s irreparable, delete it in his head and empty the trash, make it vanish forever. But it happened. It can’t be undone. They kissed. They went further, probably. Fuck. What’s Seokjin even doing here every lunch, doesn’t he have better things to do? Like Hoseok?

A wave of bitterness surges through him. His own brother. He’s never felt this betrayed. And he knows he’s being irrational. His brother has always played with all the cards on the table and Seokjin has always been- been in love – he hates it hates it hates it – with Hoseok.

He hasn’t seen his brother since. He doesn’t want to. He can’t take looking at either of them, imagining them together, fuelling his depressing thoughts.

Sighing, he rubs his eyes. He hates all of this. It’s his two favourite people in the world whom he’s always only wished the best. He doesn’t want to feel bitter or resentful towards them, doesn’t want to deny them their happiness. But he can only take so much. He thinks he has to flee the country if they marry. His chest constricts at the thought. Oh God, what if they marry.

Maybe Seokjin’s coming by everyday trying to tell him that the engagement ring’s changed hands and he’s the lucky guy, finally, asking for his blessing or something. He thinks he’s going to die if he is to be the best man at their wedding.

He sighs, staring at nothing, really. For all the work he hasn’t done he could have just stayed in bed today. Maybe he should start drinking. Why trying to keep it together on the outside when he’s already falling apart inside. He could call up Jimin, if he cares for Hoseok a fraction of how Yoongi feels about Seokjin, he’d surely like to share a drink or two. Or three. A liquor cabinet. A whole liquor store. Doesn’t matter. Jimin’s too late. Yoongi’s already drowning – in his own tears, in the poison of his choice, saltwater, and the ocean is Seokjin.

He closes his eyes. Seokjin. Despite it all, he still wants him here. Maybe he can manage, if he sits over there he won’t have to look at him all the time, and the food would be between them. And once Seokjin has professed his love for Hoseok they can move on and talk about anything else. Hang around again, like nothing happened. Like his heart isn’t broken. Like he isn’t totally gone on Seokjin. Same old.

He huffs and gets up. When he opens the door Jisoo looks up in surprise, dumpling halfway to her mouth. Walking over, he grabs the rest of the dish. “I’ll take this.”

At his desk, he stares at the perfect, self-made dumplings before taking a bite. His heart hitches. It’s so good. He almost chokes on the next piece as tears well up in his eyes. He misses Seokjin so much.

He’s exhausted. When he enters his room he throws his tennis equipment into a corner, puts his water bottle onto the side table, strips out of his sweaty t-shirt.

“Hmm, what a sight.”

Hoseok screams, jumping out of his skin and clutching his palpitating heart. When he sees the devil in his armchair he groans and falls to the ground spread-eagled, closing his eyes. “Jimin. Do you want to kill me?”

“Yes.” Footsteps come closer. When he sneaks a peek Jimin looms over him with a sly smirk on his porcelain face. God, he’s gorgeous in simple white. Angelic. Dangerous. A devil in disguise. He narrows his eyes at him suspiciously.

Jimin tilts his head, earring dangling prettily with the motion, glittering almost as brightly as his eyes. Focus, Hoseok. Constant vigilance!

“Are you dead?”, Jimin asks.

“Yes. You’re talking to my spirit because texting is shit without reception on the other side.” Jimin snorts. “Please bury me in my Jamaican suit,”

“With the zigzag pattern?”

“The one. And for accompaniment, play In My Feelings.”

“I doubt the lyrics are, how shall I put it, befitting for a funeral, dear.”

“It’s about the vibe. Indulge me, it’s my dying wish.” He grabs the hand offered to him. Jimin pulls him up and immediately presses closer, pushing him against the door with a hand running down his naked chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps.

Dark smoky eyes consume him as Jimin murmurs against his lips, “Am I about to kiss a dead man then?”

“If that’s what you’re into. Kinky.” Mirroring Jimin’s smirk, Hoseok pulls him closer by his waist, murmuring “Welcome back” before sealing their mouths in a hot kiss. He tastes like ambrosia, the gods' sweetest drug. Hoseok can't get enough of him. All too soon Jimin pulls away, giving his lips one last nib. A hand on his chest keeps him in place when he tries to follow.

"Did you miss me?"

Hoseok licks his taste from his lips, looking him up and down. "Oh babe, you know I always do."

Jimin smirks, drawing patterns on his skin with his fingers. "You know what I think?" He presses closer again with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Oh, he's so sexy when he's getting angry. He leans in for another kiss, enraptured by- wait- he's angry?! His eyes widen in alarm. Abort, abort mission! He draws back with pounding heart. Too late. He’s shoved backwards as Jimin narrows his eyes, his smile becoming steely.

"I think you’ve missed me so much that you took someone else to bed to keep the space next to you warm.” Claws dig into his chest ow ow ow he’s gonna rip his heart out! With his bare hand! Hoseok flails swatting the offending limb away to rub at his skin. He can see the imprint of Jimin’s nails in a perfect half circle. Jesus.

“Gah!” Jimin bores his finger into his chest, by far not done with Hoseok, yet. Help.

“Who is Kim Seokjin?” His heart comes to a stuttering halt for a split second. He’s sweating. “Wh-wh-who?”

Something flashes in Jimin’s eyes. “Do you really want to test my patience now, babe?” He swallows. That devil. Pushing Jimin’s hand away he steps around him, winning much needed space and bends to grab his t-shirt from the floor. “Really, I don’t know how you’re a children’s doc when you’re-“

“When I’m what?” Hoseok gives him his brightest, heartiest smile, “When you’re so amazing, amazingly, amazingly amazing!”

“Amazingly amazing.”

“You said it.” He puts the shirt back on, eugh. But he needs cover, needs armour. “You could run for president with your amazingness, don’t you want to rule?”

“Hoseok.”

“Yes, darling?” Jimin stares at him, smirk gone, eyes dark beneath his fringe, his hands buried in his pockets. “Who is he?”

Hoseok huffs and bends his head back, stretching his neck with a hand on his nape before looking to the side. “Who told you?”

“Ts. Walls have ears. And a few hundred guests at a party aren’t all blind and forgetful, Hoseok. They talk, as you know.” There’s a pause. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No!” He whips his head around. Jimin’s chest heaves with a breath.

“Did you kiss?” Hoseok can’t respond. Jimin furrows his brows and looks away, swallowing. “You kissed, then. Did it mean anything?”

Frowning, Hoseok walks backwards until he reaches the armchair. He drops down on it, exhausted, running his fingers through his hair. “It meant… more to him than to me.” Jimin mirrors him, moving backwards until his back hits the door, then slides down on it to sit on the floor with his knees to his chin. “Who is he?”, he asks again, quietly.

Kim Seokjin… his eyes drift to the window, finding the garage. Kim Seokjin. He sighs. “He’s our resident mechanic. Eldest son of our late chauffeur.”

“What, the hot one with the dimples?”

“No that’s- are you saying you find Namjoon hot?!” Jimin blushes, then pouts. “So what? I have a weakness for dimpled smiles. And you’re one to talk! What’s with you and Kim Seokjin then?”

“Nothing! Well-“

“Well what?” Jimin lets out a heavy breath, looking beseechingly at him. “How long has this been going on?”

“I- no- it’s- just two weeks.”

“Just two weeks”, Jimin echoes tonelessly.

“He returned home two weeks ago after two years in Seoul. And I don’t know, I just.” He blinks. “Seokjin is special. I didn’t see it then but I see it now. He’s different.”

Like a diamond in the rough he finally revealed his beauty after the polish, outshining all the other gems in size and purity. With every twist and turn the lights break differently, exposing new facets to his brilliance. And you want to look, to touch, to drink in his radiance. So Hoseok did. But he didn’t realize until it was too late that even diamonds can break. In the wrong hands the jewel will receive a setting not quite befitting its quality, making its fire pale. He doesn’t know how he feels about him, anymore, but he knows now that he didn’t do right by Seokjin. Someone else would have recognized his worth before the polish and held him more considerately. Someone else would have treat more softly around him.

Hoseok hurt him and he’s sorry for that. Here’s another thing that makes Seokjin stand out. He pulls Hoseok down, puts his feet on the ground, makes him reflect on his actions. He regards Jimin, looking small and lost cowered by the door. He’s hurting Jimin, too.

He stands up and walks to Jimin, sitting down in front of him. “Jimin-ah, I’m sorry for what I did. Please forgive me, it won’t happen again.” He takes Jimin’s hand. “The only one I love is you.”

Jimin stares at him with sad eyes, then scoffs. “What’s love, Hoseok? You don’t really know, do you?” Hoseok parts his lips in silence.

“I don’t know, either”, Jimin continues with a sigh. “This, between us. It’s convenient, it’s fun. The marriage will be beneficial politically speaking, and it’ll give me at least some lenience from my parents. I never expected love in marriage.” He cups Hoseok’s face, eyes softening. “But with you, I was hoping to find out what love is with you, together.”

Something stirs in Hoseok. He covers Jimin’s hand with his. “You will. We will. I’m yours, Jimin.”

But Jimin shakes his head, giving him a lopsided smile. “No, you’re not. You’re still hesitant. I can’t have you leave me at the altar.”

“What- what are you trying to say?” Jimin gets up, Hoseok follows. “I’m saying that this matter needs to be solved now.”

“What? What matter, solved how?”

"The matter of your heart, Hoseok. I need to see how much of your heart he's holding."

"You're..."

"I'm going to check out my competition." Determination settles over his face. "I'm not giving this up Hoseok. I want this marriage, and I want you. Whatever part of your heart he's holding, I'll fight to win it back."

"There's no need to fight, Jimin-ah! He's not- I'm already yours!" Jimin narrows his eyes at him. "Are you trying to protect him?" Letting Jimin loose on Seokjin, on sweet, gentle, innocent Seokjin- he has to prevent this.

"Anyone needs protection from angry you!" Jimin purses his lips. Hoseok lifts his arms in front of his chest in defense.

Tilting his head, Jimin says in a saccharin tone, "Who says I'm angry? I just want to talk to him." The corners of his mouth twitch. Hoseok gives him a suspicious look. "What are you up to?"

Smirking, Jimin crosses his arms, leaning against the door. "We're having a party and Kim Seokjin is invited."

Hoseok splutters, "What- what good is a party?"

"A party is fun." He licks his lips, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "A pretty, glittering battleground."

"Jimin! That's not necessary- we're not having a party!"

"You think your mother would deny me this? We're having a party and I will dance with Kim."

Hoseok gapes at him scandalized. "You- you Slytherin, you!"

Laughing, Jimin throws an arm over his shoulder, running his fingers up his nape to bury them in his hair, tugging at them lightly. It makes his skin tingle with thrill and his heart beat faster.

"Don't worry, Slytherins love their badgers."

Chapter Text

Days pass and Seokjin pulls himself together. His whole life isn’t about Hoseok and Yoongi, so he looks forward and thinks of the future. Jeongguk will go to university sooner or later and they shouldn’t rely on the possibility of a stipend. They shouldn’t exhaust their savings either. It’s lucky then, that he scores a job at a nice, small restaurant right away and can start as soon as possible. There’s a proverb somewhere probably, something like lucky at work, unlucky in love. Oh well.

He doesn’t try to contact Yoongi again. And from Hoseok, he hears nothing, either. Word has it that Park Jimin is back in town. He lets that knowledge sink, sink through his heart, tearing another hole in it while it drops low. And then he lets it go. It’s not about Park, or Hoseok, or Yoongi.

It’s about him, his new job, Jeongguk’s future, Namjoon carrying the duties alone in the time to come. But to his surprise, that last factor is seemingly already taken care of. Namjoon tells him about the conversation he’s had with Yoongi, that they have it covered and none of the three should feel obligated to bind themselves to this garage, these cars, the Jungs. They’re free and the Jungs prove themselves once more as generous employers. He remembers how they paid for their father’s medical treatment, for the funeral, how they tacitly raised their wage when it was suddenly just he and Namjoon working. He’s forever grateful to them for enabling him and his brothers such a safe, stable life. And the truth is, he doesn’t mind living here, looking over drop dead  gorgeous cars once in a while, doesn’t feel the need to leave this place for good. It’s beautiful and warm in so many ways, carrying so much love and so many memories.

Sometimes…of course, sometimes the pain of loss is more palpable in these four walls. Sometimes the pain of not getting what you most desire and see it everyday is choking. Sometimes it’s stifling, hard to bear, but there are ways to overcome these feelings and every moment shared with his brothers is worth the effort. He’s been gone for two years. Now, he wants to spend as much time with Namjoon and Jeongguk as possible. One day, they won’t be together anymore, because of Jeongguk leaving for university, or Namjoon finding that artist-singersongwriter-bestselling author of a girlfriend leaving for Europe or something. Until then, he’ll be here with them and cherish them.

He starts working right away and he likes it. It's new faces, new environment. A new adventure. It takes his mind off other things and gives him the satisfaction after a hard day’s work. 

And then...

And then there's a stream of delivery cars bringing mountains of food, unloading sumptuous flowers, there’s the staff buzzing around, trimming the bushes, decorating the garden, putting up a stage. Namjoon drives Miyoung-nim to buy a new dress.

The Jungs are having a party.

He takes it all in with a glance on his way from the garage to the apartment. He's seen the routine before. For the very first time, he doesn't look forward to it. For the first time, he doesn't care to catch a glimpse. It's always the same. The live band will play against the glorious backdrop of the sunset, accompanied by the song of the ocean. Busan's chaebols and VIP will sway to the music bathing in the glamorous light of the Jungs while the catering service moves skilfully around them enticing with tablets full of delicacies and alcohol. It won't lack wine and food. Everything glitters, the glasses filled with champagne, the dresses and jewels of the guests, the lights spread throughout the garden. Later, the stars in the sky and in the water of a certain pool... His steps falter as his eyes find the familiar tree.

He already knows who Hoseok is going to dance with, already knows with whom he'll share champagne. All these years, hiding in the tree, watching, dreaming, yearning. All these years in love with Jung Hoseok. It’s hard to swallow, this conclusion to his dream, and it burns on the way down to rest on his heavy heart. This bitter pill, day after day after day. I don’t want to take it, anymore. He tears his eyes away, grips the shirt over his chest. He imagines his heart in his hand, in his control. Just a muscle, as big as his fist. Steady. Steady. He’ll squeeze it empty of all the blood and tears and feelings until it stops hurting. He digs his fingers into his chest to rip it out before letting go, putting his feet in motion again. Steady.

When he passes the letterbox a sweet flowery smell wafts over him, making him stop in his tracks. He looks at it curiously before opening it. A letter. It’s cream coloured, simple, but the paper is thick and feels expensive. He puts it to his nose. Indeed, the sweet scent clings to the envelope. There’s a fresh touch to it mixing enticingly with the salty air. He closes his eyes and sees the ocean. Like a siren song. His brows vanish behind his fringe as he turns the letter and finds his name in neat handwriting on the back. Inside is a matching cream coloured card. His lips part as he reads it. It’s an invitation to the Jungs’ party tomorrow. It’s not signed. Who…? The Jungs? Why would they when they’ve never done before? Hoseok? No, he wouldn’t now, would he? Not with Park by his side.

His heart skips a beat. Yoongi. What if it’s Yoongi. What if this is his way of showing him that he’s forgiven? He bites his lip. It can’t be. This is so unlike him, not his style at all. Yoongi doesn’t manage to type in a few words in response to his texts, he’d never take an eggshell cream coloured letter and pen in his hand let alone bother to put perfume on it. His heart drops. It’s unlike him because it’s not Yoongi. And then a thought occurs him. Yoongi will be at the party. The hosts have to be present, all the Jungs, and Yoongi is no exception. He regards the card in his hand, now in a different light. This then, is a chance. He’s pushed it aside this past week, his fall-out with Yoongi. But now that he’s given an opportunity he wants to seize it. It remains a mystery to him who might have dropped this invitation into the box but he won’t look into the gift horse’s mouth. He’ll take what he can get. Determination settles in him as he casts a look at the mansion. He wants to fix this. He’ll work for it if he has to, he’ll attend the party if he has to. He wants to fix this. Yoongi, I’m coming for you.

“Here.” Jeongguk puts something heavy in his pocket.

“What-“ He takes the thing out again. “Jeongguk, why would I need a walky-talky?! Where did you find that old thing?"

"Hyung,” Jeongguk talks into the twin walky-talky, his voice crackling through the device in Seokjin’s hand, “in case the reception fails you can still call for help!"

Frowning, he shoves the thing back into Jeongguk's hands. "Yah, why would I need help? It's just a party literally next door."

"But hyung-!"

"No!" He gives his brother an exasperated look. "It's just a party, I won't be long, anyway."

A heavy hand lands on his shoulder. "You get the sentiment, though," Namjoon says with twinkling eyes and a dimpled smirk, "hoot once if you've found Yoongi and all is well," he raises two fingers, "hoot twice if danger is approaching and hoot thrice-"

"Hoot thrice for White Walkers!" Jeongguk cackles. Namjoon raises three fingers and pulls his eyebrows together, giving him a serious look. “Hoot thrice and we’ll storm the Bastille and free the prisoner!” Seokjin stares at him wordlessly.

“And dump some tea in the ocean!” Namjoon gives him a meaningful look. “Red alert, you know? Red, R for!” Grinning, he makes finger guns at Seokjin who continues staring at him for a moment before saying, “Revolution.”

“Revolution!” Jeongguk echoes enthusiastically.

“E for!”

“Evolution!”, Seokjin shouts and Jeongguk repeats after him excitedly.

“D for!”

“Drop in the ocean!” Seokjin shouts again, giving thumbs up while he shakes his head. What a magnificent acrostic poem. “Ah, Jinious!”

Jeongguk claps his hands laughing happily, “Drop lotion!” while Namjoon raises a fist, “Drop tea in the ocean! Okay, let’s hear your hoot, Seokjin-hyung!”

“Yah, I need to go now.” Seokjin pushes past them quickly.

“Have fun, Seokjin-hyung! We’ll be right by the wall!”

“No, you won’t! Go to bed!”

“Remember to hoot!”

“No, I won’t!!”

“Hoot!!”

“No!”

“HOOT!!”

He’s at the party and his nerves flutter. All those glamorous people around him, the sparkling lights surrounding them, he feels out of place again like last time, or at that dinner with Hoseok. It’s strange how he can stand in the middle of this and still not belong. This will never be his world. He’s felt more comfortable hanging around with Taehyung’s celebrity friends who are not so different from them, citizens who just happen to be at the right place at the right time to rise above the others but somehow remain the guy next door who went to the same public school like you, goes shopping in the same supermarket like you. These people here, though, most of them were born into this world, entitled, privileged, owning this and knowing that they’re something better. He rubs his neck, brushing off the stares he receives. It shouldn’t matter, he’s here for one reason only. To find Yoongi, to talk to him, and then he’ll leave. He promises himself not to look for anyone else. Focus, he thinks, as he lets his eyes wander in search of Yoongi But there are so many people and he’s not sure where to look. Would he be hanging around close to the mansion, to the terrace? Would he be dancing with some pretty girl or guy? Or does he actually sit this one party out? He bites his lips, feeling lost. His gut instincts tell him to go to the buffet, mainly because he’s kind of hungry. So he walks past the live band and the dancing couples towards the food.

And there, indeed, he finds him. He stops as soon as he sees him, watching from afar, his heart skipping a beat. There he is, small and lithe in the crowd, but so striking nonetheless. He sees the back of his head first, and when it turns, his stunning side profile. It catches him off guard, how he’s missed Yoongi so much. He’s gone years without needing to see him, and now he feels all kinds of things seeing him again after mere days, weeks of not meeting him. Hope wells up in him just as his nervousness elevates. He can finally fix this, whatever broke between them. While he regards him, Yoongi frowns into the glass he’s holding, before downing its content in one go. He looks unhappy, Seokjin thinks. His heart squeezes. He hopes to see him smiling again soon. With that thought and fluttering pulse he makes his way towards him.

These parties are such a bother. They’re so annoying, the buzz beforehand, the crowd and noise while he has to endure standing amidst all these people, the small talks, everything. Annoying. To be fair, anything is annoying to him these days. He scowls into his drink. Champagne. Whoever thinks this is a go to drink to get wasted is an idiot. He downs the glass and makes a face. It’s all bubbly on his tongue and tingles sweetly underneath his skin. Ugh. Give him something stronger, something bitter. Like his soul. Where’s the whiskey when you need it. He puts the empty flute down and gets another from a tablet moving past him, downing that one, too. Ugh. He casts a look at his Rolex. Thirty minutes, he’ll hang around for thirty minutes and then call it a day. That should count as participation. What’s this party even for, welcoming Jimin back? Unbelievable, the nerve. Jimin is added to his list of people he cannot face at the moment.

Is Jimin actually so oblivious? Is Hoseok actually successful in lying and hiding his affair? What’s Miyoung thinking? Well, probably trying to accommodate Jimin to keep him. Unbelievable. He downs another flute of champagne. Lets see how many he manages in half an hour. He stares into the empty glass. It’s not half full, not half empty. Just fucking empty. He hates it. Alcohol isn’t what it used to be, either. Instead of making you forget it just makes the pain rawer. Hm. More alcohol should do the trick. Why is everything so shitty right now, he thinks as the familiar ache in his heart builds and builds. Because he only gets champagne when he wants whiskey, he thinks loudly, trying to drown out his other thoughts. Oh God, he hopes he doesn’t run into Hoseok, or Jimin. Or Miyoung, they’d ask questions. Fuck obligations, he should run now while he still can. And then find a bottle of whiskey. Sighing, he puts the glass down to grab a full one, when something makes him stop in his tracks. Goosebumps erupt along his skin. He rubs the back of his neck, turning his head to look around. These parties are so bright, all the glittering dresses reflecting the lights hung from tree to tree, the dazzling dance floor and highlighted stage of the band, everything bloody twinkles and the alcohol doesn’t help.

Tonight, though, it seems like there’s something else shining brighter than all these lights. Like those stars that don’t fade even in the face of the rising sun. Yoongi's breath hitches as his eyes take in his appearance. Dressed in a simple black suit and white shirt, hair turned back to black as well, he still stands out in the crowd. The people around him become a twinkling blur as Yoongi's senses zero in on him alone. Seokjin.

For a moment, the world stops spinning and fades into nothing while Seokjin's presence expands from one end to the other of Yoongi's universe. His light is all-consuming, cracking open every dark corner of his heart, flooding him like wave after wave crashing on land. His heart stutters as their eyes meet. Seokjin is looking at him with wide eyes, unblinking as he slowly makes his way towards him. Like in a dream he comes closer with a gentle sway to his hips, with legs that go on forever, with the fabric hugging his form most flatteringly, shifting with his motions. A breeze tousles his hair, freeing a lock from the coiffure to rest softly on his forehead. Around him, the lights frame him in an ethereal glow. He looks out of this world.

Yoongi can’t help but stare in awe, stunned by Seokjin’s beauty. Maybe it’s just the lights and the champagne playing tricks with his eyes, maybe it’s his heart that’s missed him so – but he’s never seen him looking so gorgeous as he does tonight.

As he nears he drinks in the details of Seokjin’s face. His perfect eyebrows, the lovely blush painting his immaculate skin, his soft pink lips. And most precious, most mesmerizing and most devastating – his unfathomable eyes. How many times can you fall into the same ocean and drown?

Every single time, all the time that he looks at Seokjin.

And then the distance is gone and he stands right in front of him taking his breath away. It’s Seokjin, just Seokjin, the boy next door, a neighbour, a friend. But it’s also Seokjin who causes ripples in his life, Seokjin who makes his heart beat faster, his breath stutter, who consumes his thoughts and makes him want so much.

It’s Seokjin and his ocean eyes and Yoongi is lost forever.

He forces a deep breath into his lungs because he needs air. His ears pop and suddenly, he hears the buzz of the party again, the upbeat swing song the band is playing, the chitchat and laughter. The earth is turning again. He notices his sweaty palms, his hot face, the taste of champagne on his tongue and his dry mouth from when his jaw dropped at the first sight of Seokjin. He’s nervous. Seokjin stands in front of him with a serious look and beseeching eyes without saying a word. And Yoongi, Yoongi knows there’s a reason why things are like this right now, but, frankly, he can’t remember. There’s a reason he’s avoided him, yet seeing him here, he thinks, no reason is worth staying away from Seokjin.

Seokjin steps closer. Fleetingly, he notices the music changing to a softer, slower tune as Seokjin reaches out offering him a hand.

“Dance with me?”

Yoongi blinks at him. He asks so timidly, his eyes hopeful and worried at the same time, like he’s scared Yoongi would decline. Like he would ever deny him anything he asked for. He feels his heart beat hard and fast while his brain turns into a muddled useless mess. There’s a reason why he hasn’t seen Seokjin in so long and why he misses him so much. There’s a reason, probably, why he shouldn’t follow his bid. But it’s Seokjin looking at him, asking him to dance with him and in this moment, he can’t think of anything that he wants more. So he takes his hand. When he looks back at Seokjin, he sees his unsure eyes brighten and knows he’s made the right decision.

Caught in his eyes, he lets Seokjin lead him to the dance floor. There, Seokjin pulls him slowly closer, wrapping an arm around Yoongi’s waist. It makes his heart jump and awakens butterflies in his belly. He’s so close. Instinctively, he rests a hand on his wide shoulder while the other tingles pleasantly in Seokjin’s gentle hold. He’s so close that he can feel Seokjin’s warmth and almost taste his sweet scent. He’s so close that he sees nothing but Seokjin, barely aware of the people around them. Slowly, Seokjin starts swaying them to the soft music. It feels like floating, like his feet aren’t touching the ground. With every turn he gets more lost in the feeling, his heart swelling, growing wings while his head empties of all thoughts except for one. Seokjin is in his arms and his eyes are on him. He wants to stay like this forever.

It’s Yoongi and Seokjin – the rest of the world may just as well not exist.

“Yoongi-ah”, Seokjin begins, his eyes still wide and nervous. He heaves a deep breath before continuing, “Yoongi-ah. I’m so sorry.”

Frowning slightly, Yoongi parts his lips. “For what?”

For a moment, Seokjin's eyes bore into him, intense and searching. Yoongi holds his breath.

"I'm sorry for, for hurting you. When...when you saw us..." Yoongi drops his gaze. Ah. That. Them. 

'Us'.

He lowers his head before resting his chin on Seokjin's shoulder, staring at nothing. It was so short-lived, that moment of SeokjinandYoongi.

Feet touch the ground, heart sinks to the bottom and his eyes open to reality – a reality where Seokjin holds his heart but doesn’t give his own to Yoongi in return. A reality, where Seokjin  never even belonged to him for Yoongi to lose while Hoseok wins it all.

If Yoongi’s touch turns anything to gold then Hoseok transforms it into platinum. He makes raindrops condense to diamonds and captures stars in his hands. Yoongi tightens his hold on Seokjin, tilting his head to bury his nose in his collar. Why can’t he leave him this one star?

Let it go, he tells himself. He closes his eyes and breathes in Seokjin’s scent. Just a second. Let him have this second and then he’ll let him go.

“Yoongi-ah.” Seokjin says his name so softly. He wants to hear it again and again. He doesn’t want to hear the rest.

“Yoongi-ah, I’m, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. The merger is safe…” God, he thinks it’s about the money.

It’s lulling, the slow swaying movements, the soft music in the background, the warm body against his. Lights blink and ocean calls with low sounds of crashing waves while alcohol tingles through his veins. He can feel the rumble in Seokjin’s chest when he speaks. It feels so warm and soft and safe. He keeps his eyes closed. Let him have this.

“I miss…I miss having lunch with you. I miss seeing you in the garage. I miss talking to you. I want...I want to ask you how you're doing. I want that back. Please forgive me."

Blinking, Yoongi lifts his head and leans back to look at Seokjin. There’s something so pure about Seokjin, something you instinctively want to protect, to keep away from anything that could blemish it. But now, he can see that Seokjin is hurt and sad. Someone’s touched his heart, his soul, and left it bruised and insecure. He swallows, wondering if that someone is Yoongi, assuming that Seokjin’s happy with Hoseok, now. How could he, though, when he’s never held any importance for Seokjin. Staring at him, he tries to figure him out. It’s like reading the surface of the ocean. Who knows what’s going on beneath it. Once in a while, something wells up from the depth, causing ripples, but it’s there and gone again and soon smoothed over, covered in pretty glittering lights. A calm face. Still waters run deep.

All these past days, he was scared to get more hurt when looking at Seokjin, thus avoided him. He never expected Seokjin to be in pain, never thought his sadness would cause this pang in his chest. Someone will get hurt in this, and it shouldn’t be Seokjin.

He doesn’t want Seokjin to be sad. He wants him happy. And if, indeed, he needs a word from Yoongi to feel better, he’ll give it to him gladly.

He drinks in his beautiful face, his melancholic eyes, his oh so soft pink lips. No…Seokjin did nothing wrong. All he did was following his heart, all he did was finally kissing his longstanding crush – something that Yoongi could never. What the heart wants, it wants. He knows that feeling. But where Seokjin is brave, Yoongi is not. 

He’s so drawn to Seokjin, to his beautiful soul, his gorgeous eyes and his enticing, kissable lips. There’s barely a distance between them. He leans closer, his gaze lingering on Seokjin’s mouth while he parts his own. A little closer, and their breaths will touch, a little closer, and he can call himself brave. His heart jumps as he feels himself flush. He can’t. He can’t.

Blinking, he leans back, loosening his hold. He lifts his eyes to Seokjin’s again. “There’s”, he starts, his voice husky, “there’s nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen, glistening brightly. Then he smiles timidly, ruefully. “I’m still really sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong.” Yoongi repeats more determined, shaking his head. It’s the right thing to say. Seokjin’s smile broadens, reaching his eyes. Huffing, he says, “I’m glad.”

“Good.” Yoongi feels Seokjin’s shoulders relax and watches as a lovely blush tints his cheeks.

“…Is…it the onions again?”

Seokjin laughs, wiping at his eyes with one hand. “Yes. It’s the onions.” Yoongi grins stupidly. He’s missed him so. Seokjin doesn’t return his hand to Yoongi’s, instead he leans down, wrapping both arms around Yoongi as he rests his chin on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispers. Closing his eyes, Yoongi hugs him back tightly. It seems like Seokjin has missed him, too.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Yoongi whispers back to Seokjin, but also to himself. This is okay, this much of Seokjin, nothing more, nothing less. It aches, but it aches less somehow. He can live with this. He can be a good friend to Seokjin, make him smile once in a while. He isn’t too bad at it. In return, he’ll have these moments enveloped in his arms, his scent, his laughter. He’ll take what he can get.

Chapter Text

Jimin straightens his perfectly straight jacket, brushes none existent lint from his collar, combs his fingers through his immaculate hair. Showtime.

“Jimin-ah! You can’t-!“ He casts a smug smile over his shoulder before pulling the door close.

“Yes, I can.”

The Jung Parties are quite something. They’re not as boring as the ones back home. You don’t find this kind of splendour in Seoul. Maybe it’s the ocean flair, the sunset and the sea in the background. It’s tasteful, almost romantic. Or maybe he’s just biased because he’s spent every Jung party with Hoseok so that it always felt more like a date than an obligation.

Today, though, he’s here with an agenda. He lets his eyes wander over the crowd. Tall, blond, handsome. From what he’s heard, Kim Seokjin should be easy to spot. He’ll be a an unfamiliar face, and more telling, he’ll probably glitter less than the other guests who flaunt their jewellery and dazzling dresses like it’s a fashion week. He grabs a flute from a passing waiter and takes a sip of champagne. Hm. Assuming that he followed the invitation. Maybe he hasn’t arrived, yet? As he watches his eyes find Yoongi on the dance floor. That piques his curiosity. He’s never seen him dance before.

Yoongi is like that cute cat at your aunt’s everyone wants to pet and to play with but who stays unimpressed while you coo at him, stays unanimated even if you try every trick to get his attention. And then he’ll give you that one look, like he’s actually two hundred years old, telling you to shove it, peasant, he’s got better things to do, like sleeping until he’s dying. Or to bring him the blackest coffee to burn his guts. What’s got him so bitter, he wonders sometimes. Probably work. Ah, he knows that feeling, when an awful night shift just won’t end and you want to die or throttle everyone around you and you’ve practically substituted your blood with coffee with the amount you’re drinking to survive. Hoseok probably can’t relate, he thinks fondly, that idiot. Yoongi, though, the grumpy cat at the party, shrugging off all and sundry that doesn’t talk business, has actually found someone enticing enough to dance with? Who is that guy? Maybe he could learn something from him.

He stretches his neck to get a better look and – aw, they’re so cute. Look at Yoongi all gooey eyed, holding him so close. He’s never seen him like this before. That guy must be one hell of a catnip. Hm. He licks his lips. A broad shouldered catnip. Slowly, they turn and Jimin finally catches a glimpse of the mysterious flirt. And what a sight. He blushes slightly as he takes in the stranger’s gorgeous face. Wow, Yoongi’s got taste. Tall, dark and dressed in a simple black suit without flashing bling blings and pompous flair you could call him classically handsome, but that would be an understatement. Those lips, that symmetrical face and those eyes – he stands out. He literally glows. He’s ethereal. Woah, Yoongi, he wants to give him a pat on the back. If he’s been sleeping for two hundred years because he’s been waiting for someone like this, well, then he understands. Does Hoseok know? He hasn’t told him Yoongi’s seeing anyone.

He watches on for a while, silently cooing at the two. They’re so cute. They sway around like they don’t hear the beat of the music at all, lost in their own world. Yoongi looks small compared to him, then again, anyone would next to those shoulders. They fit so well. And that guy seems just as smitten, looking all starry eyed. Ah, love. Really, the way they lean on each other, hugging each other, he almost feels intrusive watching them. He should be looking for someone else, anyway. Back to the task. He’s on a mission. He grabs another flute of champagne.

“…-seok and now Min Yoongi, can you believe it?” Jimin raises his eyebrows as he perks his ears listening in on two pretty women. He creeps closer while staying out of their sight.

“I knooow, God, I’d be jealous if he wasn’t so handsome himself.” The brunette sighs, “Have you seen his face? It’s unreal.”

Her friend nods. “And those pacific shoulders. It’s unfair. How are all the good men gay?”

“I knooow, God.” They sigh in unison and Jimin has to roll his eyes, taking another sip as he starts looking around again.

“Although, I think blonde suits him better.”

“You think? He could have purple hair and still win worldwide handsome IMO. No wonder he’s caught both of the brothers’ attention.” Jimin chokes on the drink as the pieces fall together whipping his head around to stare at the handsome stranger again.

“You know, it’s no wonder Min Yoongi’s been single all this time, if this is his type.”

“Yeah, if this is his type he should put a ring on it. He won’t find a second Kim Seokjin.”

“We won’t, either.”

Kim Seokjin. So that’s Kim Seokjin? He stares and stares at him and doesn’t see it. Don’t get him wrong, his beauty is obvious, his identity following the description undeniable. But isn’t Kim Seokjin supposed to be in love with Hoseok? How does he think to flirt with Hoseok if he has his eyes glued on Yoongi? And Jimin’s no expert but he looks pretty enamoured with Yoongi and vice versa. He frowns. This is confusing. What’s going on? What’s Kim up to? Does he actually care or is he seducing one rich guy after the other? Who is he? Emptying his glass, he steps onto the dance floor. One way to find out. It’s time to solve this mess.

Seokjin feels light like he hasn’t in weeks. He fixed it. Yoongi is talking to him and smiling again. He’s so relieved.

And they’re dancing again. It’s nice, this closeness, this comfort he shares with Yoongi. It was so easy to get used to and now just as easy to fall back into. He’s still wondering, though, and after mulling it over he decides to ask.

“Yoongi-ah.”

“Hm?”

“I…”, he swallows, unsure how to phrase the question without sounding tactless. Ah, shit, it’s a tactless question, he can’t help it. “I…why did it bother you so much when you saw us?”, he bites his lip. “Was it because of the money?” Yoongi’s soft smile drops as his eyes widen and a blush creeps up his cheeks. He parts his lips in a slight pout speechlessly. Tilting his head, Seokjin regards him curiously. He feels that sensation again, of holding two puzzle pieces without knowing how to fit them together. His heart beats faster in anticipation. Maybe Yoongi can finally give him an answer to this riddle.

Suddenly, he catches a waft of something alluring and flowery. He’s smelled this before.

“Hello,” turning his head to the new voice, he finds a man dressed in the best suit he’s seen in a while. It’s all black with a complicated, detailed pattern on his jacket making it look lighter, matching the colour of his hair. Subtle frills peek from under a black shirt. Silver earrings dangle prettily around his perfect visage, framing smoky eyes, rose cheeks and red soft lips. He’s drop dead gorgeous. Seokjin blushes.

“Jimin-ah.” Yoongi says.

“Yoongi-hyung.” Jimin flashes Yoongi a warm smile and- holy sh- that’s Park Jimin?! Seokjin’s heart skips a beat as he chokes on the sweet, fresh scent. He’s the one who invited him?! Park Jimin?! Hoseok’s freaking gorgeous, super smart fiancé?! What the- Jimin’s eyes zero in on him. He doesn’t trust that smile. Oh. Oh no. Red. RED alert where’s the walky-talky – oh right, he didn’t take it, fool that he is. He parts his lips, ready to hoot-

Jimin offers him hand, “May I have this dance?” His jaw drops as both him and Yoongi gape at him.

“Jimin-ah-“, Yoongi starts but Jimin cuts him off, already pushing him aside and taking his position. “Oh, Yoongi-hyung, don’t hog him like that. You’ve danced with him all night, it’s my turn.”

“Jimin-“

“Could you look for Hoseok? He promised me a dance but I can’t find him anywhere.” With that he takes Seokjin’s hand and drags him away from Yoongi and deeper into the crowd of dancing couples. Whipping his head around, he searches for Yoongi, for help, but Jimin demands his attention, drawing him closer with a hand on his waist leading him in the dance, all the while giving him the most saccharine smile. He’s a menace.

“J-J-Jimin-ssi-“

“Please, it’s Jimin. Seokjin, right?”

Lie. Oh, Seokjin-ssi? Never heard of him. Pff. Fingers dig into his hips, subtle but firm as the sweetness of his perfume turns poisonous.

“Y-yes, I’m, er, Seokjin.”

“Hm, I know who you are. Do you know who I am?”

Swallowing, he answers, “You’re Hoseok’s fiancé… You’re the one who invited me.”

He receives a satisfied grin. “Correct.” Seokjin blushes further. His heart is racing, his palms sweaty, he doubts his nervousness goes unnoticed by Jimin. Oh God, he’s playing with him. He’s in the hands of a vengeful fiancé who…knows, and he’s going to die. It’s his last night on this earth. What was it again, hoot twice for help? Oh God. Hoot thrice for murder on the dance floor? He pictures the scene: Seokjin, dead on the ground with Jimin standing over him smiling innocently with a bloody knife in his hand, ‘It wasn’t me, I swear.’ And he’d get away with it, he just knows.

“Why…why did you invite me?”

His eyes twinkle. “I wanted to dance with you.” Seokjin heaves a breath. Take heart. He never wanted to face Park Jimin but now he’s here. Might as well get this over with.

“If this is about Hoseok-“ He yelps as Jimin’s grip tightens. They’re surprisingly strong for such small hands.

“Of course this is about Hoseok.” He narrows his eyes as he leads Seokjin across the dance floor, turning, turning, until Seokjin feels off balance and dizzy from Jimin’s piercing glare.

“Did you sleep with him?”

Seokjin splutters. “No- I- No! We, we didn’t-“ Jimin’s stormy eyes bore into his. “Did you kiss?”

Seokjin lets out a shuddering breath, flushing red as he drops his gaze in shame. He feels Jimin’s eyes on him, feels the tension in both their bodies as they stop moving. Blinking, he looks to the side. “We did.” He hears a huff.

“How long has this been going on?”

He shakes his head, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “It was never…” He whispers, feeling lost as the familiar hurt wells up in him again. “It was over before it started.” Oh God, pull yourself together. You’re talking to his fiancé.

“How long?” Jimin demands with a rough voice. He returns his stare to him. He looks tough and intimidating with the scowl and steely expression despite his soft features. Yet looking closely, he sees the vulnerability in his eyes as he waits with bated breath for Seokjin’s response and his silent plead that it’ll be a bearable answer he can live with. Jimin cares about Hoseok more than he lets on. The guilt is tearing at him. He never wanted anyone to get hurt because of his actions. Still he pursued Hoseok without regard to the consequences and this is what he gets. His own heart broken, and Jimin’s as well. This is such a mess. And it’s his fault.

“Barely two weeks.” Jimin searches his eyes. After a moment, he relaxes slightly.

“Barely two weeks”, Seokjin repeats, “Jimin-ss- Jimin. I’m sorry for what happened. I’m sorry you had to find out.” He swallows, furrowing his eyebrows. “You have no reason to believe me, but it’s over. It was- it was nothing. Hoseok- he loves you.” Saying these words hurts. Feeling, knowing something is one thing, but admitting it out loud…it hits differently, painfully, like an internal injury that breaks through skin, making the bleeding undeniable, raw, for all the world to see. He casts his eyes to the ground, this moment becoming unbearable. He wants out.

“If he loved me,” Jimin says softly, “he wouldn’t have hurt me.” Seokjin looks up again. A gentle, sad smile plays around Jimin’s lips as he regards Seokjin, all hostility gone from his eyes. “You love him.” Seokjin jerks in surprise as Jimin touches his face lightly, his fingertips running a path from his cheek to his chin. “He’s an idiot for letting you go.” Seokjin’s eyes widen. Jimin considers him shrewdly.  “Will you stay away from him from now on?”

What else could he say? But he means it when he answers with, “Yes.”

This time when Jimin smiles, it’s more genuine, not overly bright like when he introduced himself, not dangerously seductive and sweet but warm and reaching his glittering eyes. “Good.” With that, he draws Seokjin closer, resuming their dance. Seokjin gapes at him. “What? You just-?”

Jimin laughs – like everything about him, it’s sweet and enticing. A siren song. Park Jimin is a masterful composition of colours and notes, as tangible and alluring as perfume and music and just as hard to grasp.

Jimin makes him turn and twist to the song, pushing him away then pulling him back into his arms and – oh God, dipping him. Seokjin blushes to his ears as Jimin smiles down on him before pulling him up again. They’re dancing. And it’s surprisingly fun. Jimin leads him through another song, and another. He’s a generous dancer encouraging him with kind smiles and warm eyes despite Seokjin stepping on his feet repeatedly. Seokjin is sure he’s beet red in the face, from being so clumsy, from the exertion and his nervousness – and from laughing. He’s dancing with Park Jimin – it’s surreal.

Jimin looks over Seokjin’s shoulder. “Seokjin. You owe me, do you agree?”

Seokjin bites his lip, “Y-yeah, yes.” Jimin smiles happily at him in return.

“Good. Then play along.” The next song is calm and soothing, so Jimin pulls him closer, starting to sway them to the slow beat. A hand comes up to play with his hair. Seokjin parts his lips, feeling lost under Jimin’s caress. It tingles where he brushes his neck and he burns under Jimin’s sultry stare. What is he up to?

Jimin tilts his head as he asks, “So what’s going on between you and Yoongi?”

Seokjin blinks. “Yoongi and me?” Is he referring to their conflict of sorts? How much does he know? “Er, nothing. I mean, we had an issue, but”, here he smiles, “we fixed it.” Jimin gives him a contemplative look. “An issue? What issue?”

All these questions. In a way, his shrewd eyes remind him of Namjoon’s. Seokjin frowns. He’s like his brother. A detective. What’s he searching for? “I can’t tell.”

“You can’t tell? Or you don’t want to?”

Seokjin shrugs.

“Have you known each other for a long time?”

He raises his eyebrows. “We…grew up in the same neighbourhood? He’s a good friend. Why are you asking?”

“I’m just curious.” Jimin smirks. “I’ve never seen him dance with anyone, is all.”

“But I’ve danced with him before”, he blurts out. Really, from his looks and his reputation, he’s sure guys and girls line up for Yoongi.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. And… I saw him dance with a girl once…I think. So.”

Jimin laughs, glancing over Seokjin’s shoulder again. “Oh Seokjin, don’t you see?” Furrowing his eyebrows, Seokjin follows his look when a hand on his cheek stops him. Surprised he parts his lips but whatever he means to say dies on his tongue as Jimin moves impossibly close. His heart jumps. Freaking hell, is he going to kiss him?! He feels heat rush up his body as Jimin’s hot breath fans over his skin, as he presses closer, his scent wrapping around him. And then, feather-light, soft lips pass his own to brush along his cheek until they reach his ear.

Jimin with his eyes set on Seokjin? This doesn’t bode well. He must know something. Yoongi means to follow them to save Seokjin from harm but someone grabs him by his arm and yanks him back harshly. He whips his head around. “Hoseok-“

“Shh!” His brother shushes urgently and pulls him behind a tree at the edge of the dance floor. “What-“

“Shh shHh SHH!!”

The hell? Hoseok holds a hand up to silence him while he peeks around the tree watching the dancing people. Argh, Yoongi feels annoyed. One moment he's holding Seokjin in his arms and the next Jimin whisks him away all of a sudden while Hoseok is dislocating his shoulder pulling him further away from Seokjin. He grumbles under his breath, pressing his lips into a thin line and glares at his brother's head for a second before following his line of sight.

Jimin and Seokjin are dancing. This isn't fair, he thinks petulantly. Yoongi should be there on the dance floor with him, not Jimin. Instead, he gets Hoseok. Wonderful. He scrunches up his nose at him. But does he see? Does he take notice of his heartbroken, depressed, annoyed brother? Has he held his hand once in these past weeks and asked how he's doing? No. No Hobi smile, no Hobi hug. Life, life is truly Difficult and this society is Unfair and Hoseok is Blind, still he wears sunglasses to make himself blinder. He's such an idiot. Yoongi sniffs, folding his arms as he considers his brother. What do Jimin and Seokjin (and all of the female population of Busan) see in him? Yoongi's got looks, too…maybe. He’s got style, at least, definitely has brains. Yoongi pouts. Is it the smiling? Yoongi can totally smile, too, he smiles all the time, no big deal. To prove this to the universe, he stretches his lips as wide as possible in a broad, toothy grin, his eyes going big from the exertion. He catches a brunette giving him a look. Blushing, he snaps his mouth shut. Oh God, he's drunk. Frustrated, he hits his brother. It’s all his fault.

"Ow ow what what?" Hoseok turns around to grimace at him. Yoongi scowls back.

“What ‘what what’? You ripped my arm off to get me here. So now what?” He holds up his arm to make a point.

“Ah, don’t wave around, he’ll see you!” Panicked, Hoseok grabs his hand to yank his limb down. Yoongi smiles. Hobi’s holding his hand. He tightens his grip, not wanting to let go of the warmth, yet. Hoseok pulls Yoongi behind him, throwing him an urgent look.

“What did Jimin say?”

“Huh?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes impatiently. “Jimin, Jimin-ah, just now, what did he say what did he do did he carry a knife, is he going to kill Seokjin?” Suddenly, he grabs Yoongi by the shoulders and shakes him. “Hyung, how could you leave him alone with Jimin?!”

“What the-“, ah, it’s dizzying, this sort of treatment. He takes hold of Hoseok’s hands, stilling him. “Yah, stop shaking me, I’m not a Martini. What do you mean, you pulled me away from him! And what’s going on? Does Jimin know about you and Seokjin? Did you tell him?”

“Yes, no! Aah!” Hoseok squeezes his fingers, ow ow ow. Without regard to his pain, as always, Hoseok continues with wide, panicked eyes. “He found out and I couldn’t stop him and I couldn’t warn him! And now someone’s going to die! We need to save him!”

Saving his hands from falling off, he pulls them from Hoseok’s vice grip. “You’re being dramatic.”

His heart sinks. So Jimin knows. Then it’s official, isn’t it? Seokjin and Hoseok. He gives his brother a scornful look. “So now what? Jimin knows. The wedding’s called off or what?” Why hasn’t he heard anything of it, yet, though? Hoseok frowns at him.

“Why? The wedding’s taking place as planned. Jimin and I are going to marry.”

Yoongi splutters disbelievingly, frustrated with Hoseok on so many levels, on all the levels. Goddammit, Hoseok. “Why? You’re seriously asking me why? You’re seeing Seokjin and Jimin knows and you think he’ll marry you, anyway?”
“What-“

He clenches his fists, feeling his temple throb and his chest heave. It’s not the usual exasperation. He realizes he’s angry with Hoseok. “Have you lost all sense of decency? Do you know what you’re doing to Seokjin? He loves you and you’re okay with marrying someone else and, and keep him as-“

“Don’t-!”

“-as a plaything?!” Yoongi’s red in the face, hurt by his own words. Say this isn’t true, please, Hoseok. Unbidden, he feels his eyes getting wet. You can’t pass hearts around in a circle and let them wither in the hands of the person next to you so carelessly. Does he not care about Seokjin? Does he not care about Jimin? About Yoongi?

“Stop, hyung.” Hoseok glares at him, the corners of his mouth turned down. “I would never- how can you think that of me?” Yeah, I wonder how. Hoseok glances to the side, putting his hands on his hips before huffing, “Seokjin and I…it didn’t work out. He isn’t- I’m not right for him. I messed up.” He licks his lips. “I haven’t seen him since…”, he shrugs, “it’s over. It was nothing.” It was nothing…he restraints himself from punching his brother in public. Clearly, Hoseok has no idea what heartbreak is like, only ever being on the giving end of it. But…

He recaps what Seokjin said to him, now actually taking in the meaning of it.

‘It won’t happen again’

‘The merger is safe.’

If what he claims is true then it means that Seokjin’s not Hoseok’s. They’re not together. His heart palpitates as he feels unwanted hope start blooming in his chest. Don’t, he tells himself, not again. He swallows. Don’t let it take roots. Pull it out while it’s still just a bud. Still, he can’t help casting a look over the dance floor, trying to find Seokjin. Don’t. Forcefully, he returns his eyes to his brother.

“What about Jimin, then? He knows and is okay with that?”

Hoseok groans and throws his head back. “He knows and is not okay with that, is what I’ve been trying to tell you for the past minutes!” He grabs his shoulder again, his eyes boring into his with urgency. “Listen. Jimin knows that we kissed,” Yoongi grimaces, “and he knows that it’s over. And this is where it’s getting crazy. I’m determined to marry him and he wants the marriage, too, yet he thinks it’s funny to check out his ‘competition’. Yoongi-hyung, Jimin is about to play with Seokjin and if we don’t rescue him there’ll be blood on the dance floor.” Yoongi frowns at him. Jimin and Seokjin have a talk about the issue. It sounds like mature conflict solving, in his opinion. Clear the mess, show all the cards, move on. It’ll be closure for Seokjin, too, maybe.

Yoongi shrugs off Hoseok’s hand. “You’re exaggerating. They’re just dancing, just talking. Clearing the thing between them.”

“AAh, why don’t you see!” Now, Hoseok squishes his face. Okay, why is he so worried? Jimin’s a nice bloke. He’s a children’s doctor. He’s ready to forgive Hoseok and marry him for heaven’s sake. He’s a saint, he’d never-

“His looks are deceiving, Jimin is a menace! He’s the worst Slytherin to ever slither! Okay? He’d simply smirk charmingly in the Charms exams and earn an Outstanding! He’d do the come hither gesture at Voldemort and that guy would give the Elder Wand to him freely! He’d become Minister of Magic just so he can legalize ballpoints! You get it you get it?” He’s shaking him again. “He’s dancing and smiling over there while making a Horcrux using Seokjin! We need to save him!”

Yoongi’s eyes widen. Maybe…maybe Hoseok is right. He knows Jimin better than Yoongi does, after all. And didn’t he want to chase after them to begin with because he had a bad feeling? Hoseok is right. Silently, they come to an agreement before turning towards the dance floor in unison, peering around the tree to observe. There, Seokjin and Jimin are dancing as if they were friends. Jimin is…Jimin is smiling at him? And Seokjin- is blushing and laughing?! He exchanges looks with Hoseok, who’s just as bewildered. They watch on as they twist and turn and dip on the dance floor, seemingly having a lot of fun.

“Oh God, what’s going on?” Hoseok nibbles at his nails. “Did he put a spell on him?”

“Huh.”

“Oh my God, why.”

“Why what? What now?”

Hoseok groans, looking tortured, “Why are they looking so hot together, oh my God.” He yelps as Yoongi punches him in the arm. “Can you stop thinking with your d-“

“Hold on, hold on, look!”

The music has changed to a slow beat and Jimin and Seokjin are pressed close together- what the hell. Yoongi’s jaw drops as Jimin leans closer and closer, turning Seokjin’s face towards him to- no way! Is he-

“Ow ow ow hyung, you’re hurting me!” Yoongi looks down on his hand that’s been squeezing Hoseok’s arm. Oh. So sorry.

He looks up again. Is he- No. He’s whispering into Seokjin’s ear. And- they’re leaving? Together?! They’re moving towards-

“Ow ow ow  stop it, hyung!!”

“They’re leaving together!” Hoseok flails with his arms. “I can see that!”

“They’re going to the pool house!”

“I know!” Hoseok tears his hands away and starts rubbing his arm, scowling at Yoongi.

Yoongi shakes his brother’s shoulders. “You know, so now what?! We need to follow them!”

“Yes! No!” Hoseok’s eyes turn wide. “Jimin is-“

“-a menace yeah, yeah, don’t be such a coward! You’re going to marry him for heaven’s sake and Seokjin’s life is on the line! We need to go!”

“Okay, okay, WAIT-“ He stops Yoongi in his tracks to grab two flutes of champagne from a tablet. “Liquid courage, come on.” Yoongi takes one and downs it. It’s so bubbly, so ticklish in his throat. Neat. He takes another one. Hoseok gives him a look. “How much did you have already?”

“…Two?”

“Glasses?”

“…Bottles?”

Taking the full flute from him Hoseok glares at him indignantly. “Hyung! I needed you sober for this!”

“Yah, yah, stop whining, you’re giving me a headache with all the back and forth!”

“The alcohol is giving you a headache!”

“Tch, I’m a heavier- heavier- I’m a heavierweight! Champagne can’t get me wasted like it does with those prissy snobs!” Said snobs walk past frowning at him. He throws back a toothy broad grin at them.

“Oh my God, Yoongi, you’re drunk on champagne.”

He crosses his arms petulantly, scrunching up his nose with a sniff. “Am not.”

“You’re useless when you’re drunk.”

“Am not.”

“Where have you been all this time, anyway?” Oh, now he’s asking. “Have you seen Umma? She seems upset with you. How can you skip this many family dinners?”

He scowls. Like you could live in this household and avoid her all the time. He’s tried. “Of course I’ve seen her. Saw her at lunches.”

Hoseok casts him a sceptical look. “Are you alright? Why are you drinking so much?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I’m good. And I’m not drinking too much, ts. Look how ar-TI-cu-late I am”, he pronounces clearly. There. He smiles triumphantly. “I can walk the line, too. I just danced, too!”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a ‘heavierweight’.”

That’s right. Yoongi points finger guns at Hoseok with a wink. He kind of fails and blinks with both of his eyes instead. More alcohol should do the trick. He grabs a flute from an unknown floating object.

“Nuh-uh,” with determination Hoseok takes the glass out of his hand. “Enough, hyung.” Yoongi makes a protesting noise.

Rolling his eyes, his brother huffs exasperatedly, “Yoongi-hyung, are we going to talk about all my text messages that you ignored? About the locked doors?”

Yoongi sniffs again. “No?”

Hoseok gives him the Death Glare, changing his stance. Uh-oh, it’s getting serious. “Fine. We gonna talk about your problem with me?” Yoongi blushes and looks to the side. There’s a pause. Another huff. “Does it have to do with Seokjin?”

Yoongi squints into the distance, wow, what a neat piano they have on the stage. Sooo…sleek and black and…pianissimo. Pianistical. Pi-a-NI-sti-c-

“Hyung, we’ve been through this. We can’t both be idiots at the same time. You know you need to talk straight with me…” Hoseok waits for him to respond but when he stays silent Hoseok mutters under his breath, “Jeez, and they say alcohol lowers inhibitions…”

“I heard that.”

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Maybe talk?”

Yoongi pouts. He’s gonna pout about it, is what he’s gonna do.

Hoseok sighs, “Yoongi-hyung, look at me.” Yoongi taps his folded arm nervously with his finger before complying. Hoseok looks more serious than usual, a frown marring his face and worry evident in his eyes. Great. Now Yoongi feels bad for making Hoseok worry about him.

“What is your problem?” Silence. “Am I your problem?”

Staring at his brother, he slowly shakes his head before dropping his gaze to the ground, once more feeling so powerless in the face of his emotions. The truth is, he does have a problem with Hoseok, with him stealing hearts, one in particular. But Hoseok himself is not the problem. No, the problem is Yoongi and the mess in his chest that he can’t seem to solve, that he can’t seem to voice. But not Hoseok. Hoseok is his best friend, his dear brother, not a problem he wants to get rid of. He never wanted anything to taint their relationship, and yet…Don’t sacrifice one love for another. Don’t lose this, too. He looks up again and says resolutely, “No.”

Hoseok raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“…Good. Are you going to join us at dinner tomorrow?”

“…Yes.” Hoseok considers him for a moment critically before his face breaks into a dimpled smile, his eyes softening. It’s not the bright, sunny grin but the quiet, gentle kind of smile. His favourite Hobi smile. It warms his heart. The corners of his own mouth twitch up. He’s missed this, too.

“Good. Umma will be happy. And Jimin wants to see you, too.” Suddenly, his eyes widen. “Oh oh oh, Jimin! And Seokjin! We need to-“

He grabs Yoongi’s hand and pulls him along as he hurries across dance floor flitting around couples and their flailing limbs. Yoongi stumbles after him confusedly. And then he sees them emerge from behind the bushes leading to the pool. Oh, OH! Saving Seokjin! He hiccups and reddens. Oh no, he’s drunk, drunk and useless. The next moment, Hoseok lets go of his hand and disappears behind him, shoving him forward while whispering, “Go save him! I’ll be right behind you!”

“Huh?” He hiccups, looking over his shoulder then at the approaching Jimin and Seokjin. Where’s Hoseok? His eyes widen as they near, what should he do? A bit further off, they start dancing again, both laughing, smiling, looking more relaxed than before. Who would have thought? His eyes soften. Seokjin seems to be enjoying himself. Maybe he should leave them be…

“Go go go!” He nearly face plants as Hoseok pushes him forward.

“You know, I wanted to be angry at you, but,” tilting his head, Jimin smiles warmly at him, “you’re not what I expected. In a good way.” Seokjin can’t help returning the smile. “You aren’t, either. In a good way.” They chuckle. It’s surreal, here he is, dancing and making conversation with Jimin, Hoseok’s fiancé, like they’re old friends or something. But it’s just like that. Sometimes you meet someone and it just clicks. Instead of resenting each other, they…well, they get along. They…talked, and cleared the issue between them. Clean slate. He almost doesn’t trust the easiness of it all, but, well. He can’t help liking Jimin. And now that he’s made his acquaintance he can see why Hoseok chose him, why these two fit. Jimin is perfect, the kind of perfect where you can’t even hate him for it because he’s so likable. He huffs mentally. That such people should exist…But maybe…

“Hey, Jimin. Do you like mint chocolate?”

Jimin makes a face. “No way.”

Sighing, Seokjin admits, “I was hoping you’d say yes. But you’re actually perfect.” Jimin presses his forehead against his shoulder, shaking with laughter. “Do you know who actually eats mint chocolate?” Jimin asks, lifting his head again to look at him with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“Who?”

“Hoseok.”

Seokjin bursts out laughing.

Someone clears his throat making both of them turn.

“Yoongi!” Seokjin blinks at him. “Did you just hiccup?”

Yoongi blushes. “No?” He hiccups. So cute. He looks kind of- “Are you drunk?”

He reddens further. “No?”

Jimin doubles over with laughter. Embarrassed, Yoongi makes to leave but Seokjin stops him with a light touch to his elbow. “Wait!”

Yoongi looks back at him, his eyes wide and glittering prettily. His cheeks are tinted a lovely pink while his mouth is slightly parted in a cute pout. And his nose is boppable as ever. Really, Yoongi is the cutest drunk ever. Seokjin smiles at him. “Dance with me?”

If possible, Yoongi’s eyes turn even bigger. “Yeah. Okay.” Seokjin laughs again when he hiccups one more time while Yoongi scowls at himself, looking betrayed. Taking his hand, he pulls him closer. Immediately, the frown drops from Yoongi’s face. A new song begins to play. His lips quirk as they start dancing slowly.

“I like this song”, he tells Yoongi.

“Yeah?”

“Hm”, Seokjin hums, “Certain songs bring back certain memories to me.”

“What memories?”

Seokjin regards Yoongi, drinking in his lovely face, composed of such adorable features he’s so tempted to touch, to squish, to bop. He always looks so soft and tender. Watching him is calming. It’s like enjoying a painting and everything around you seems to slow down. It’s peaceful.

“Like the memory of a hand reaching out for me when I was feeling down. A hand pulling me into a dance, giving me comfort.” He sees realization dawning on Yoongi.

“I’m glad we met that night, Yoongi-ah. I hope we get to dance together many times more in the future.” Yoongi’s eyes roam over his face before dropping down as he ducks his head, half-hiding his shy, secret smile. “I hope so, too.”

It’s amusing, seeing the grumpy cat all smitten and soft – and drunk, oh my God, he’s so glad they’re having this party, so worth it. And look how fast Seokjin’s forgotten about Jimin, incredible. There they go again, slow-dancing like there’s no tomorrow. They’re so cute. Tearing his eyes away he makes his way across the dance floor with a new target in mind. Now, where’s his idiot? He looks around and spots him peering around a tree. Ah, there he is, hiding while letting his brother do all the work. When he arrives at the tree Hoseok is crouching, doing his shoelaces. He looks up as if in surprise. “Heyy, Jimin-ah, oh, fancy seeing you here! Are you having fun?” Jimin crosses his arms and taps his foot. “Hoseok, what are you doing here?”

“I’m doing my shoelaces! There, all done” Hoseok smiles brightly and stands up, casting a look around before leaning into his space, whispering, “That was cruel, Jimin, how could you tie me up and leave me there!”

“You seemed to like it.”

“You! Oh, you’re driving me crazy!”

“Good. Payback.”

Hoseok flails around him as Jimin moves towards the buffet. “What did you do with Seokjin? What were you talking about back there?”

Jimin smirks, “Who says anything about talking?”

Hoseok gapes at him. “What- did you two- What did you do?!”

Humming, he grabs a gimbap. “Wouldn’t you like to know. By the way,” he turns around to flick Hoseok’s forehead.

“Ow ow, what was that for!” Hoseok cries, rubbing the hurt spot.

“For being an asshole. How could you treat Seokjin like that! He really liked you! He’s such a nice guy!”

“Wha- what? What did he tell you?!” Hoseok whines. “Oh my God, you’re killing me, please tell me, what did you do?!” Jimin rolls his eyes, returning his attention to the food, smiling contently as he bites into the gimbap. Delicious. He feeds the other half to a pouting Hoseok.

“I just put the record straight. Earth is spinning around its axis again.” The axis being Park Jimin.

“Oh my God, did you see?”

“I knooow.”

“Park Jimin, too.”

“Park Jimin, too.”

“Kim Seokjin is a menace.”

Chapter Text

Monday rolls by and Yoongi is in his office, waiting. And waiting. His eyes drift away from the document again as his finger taps his phone on its own accord. 11:57. He frowns. The thing is broken, it’s been 11:57 for the last five minutes. He signs the paper. Taps the phone again. 11:58. Jesus Christ. It’s not the phone, it’s the space-time continuum that’s broken, did Einstein know? Time’s not moving in strings and waves and denting space or whatever it’s actually a slugging snail crawling backwards getting stuck on its own slime. He sighs at the screen. No new messages. Now the world is stuck at 11:58. He drops the pen listlessly and props his face in his hand. No blunch then…maybe lunch, though. Staring at the door, he listens for footsteps, for idle chitchat, for a certain cheerful laugh…Nothing. Sighing, he grabs the next batch of paper from his stack and starts reading. Another glance at his phone tells him the snail actually died at 11:58. Argh, to hell.

He pushes back his chair and walks to the door. Quietly, he opens it and peeks through the gap. Empty, silent. So empty without Seokjin…

Jisoo looks up from her desk. He clears his throat awkwardly. “Er…”

Tilting her head, she raises an eyebrow, “Can I help you?”

“…No. No.” He glances at the clock on the wall, then at the corridor before him. Empty, empty, empty. Void of light and warmth and colours. He frowns. He would have thought…he was so sure…but why would he, though, after Yoongi’s ignored him and his food for weeks? He’s such an idiot, he grumbles silently to himself. You reap what you sow, and now he’ll have to go without homemade lunch for the rest of his life. Deflated, he goes to tuck his head back to close the door when Jisoo remarks, “Are you looking for Seokjin-ssi?” He tries not to blush. Is he so obvious? Playing with her pen, her lips tug up in a smile, eyes twinkling with amusement, “I heard someone danced all night with a certain handsome cook at the party?” A rock. He wants to be a rock, that species doesn’t blush. Jisoo chuckles, “Did you two make up? Are you missing him already?” Can she maybe stop teasing him? He’s still her boss. Furrowing his eyebrows at Jisoo, he doesn’t deign her an answer and shuts the door (not before seeing her rolling her eyes at his flustered silence).

Huffing, he takes a seat at his desk again, closing his eyes to the mountain of work in front of him. Immediately, his mind drifts off to Seokjin, to the party. He remembers Seokjin’s arms around him, the warmth of his body and his sweet scent as they swayed to the soft music. He remembers the gentle breeze washing over them, the smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves. Seokjin’s mellow voice and steady heartbeat lulling him, the perfect place between his broad shoulder and neck where he could rest his head. He was so warm, so enchanting that night. It was so nice in his embrace. Sighing, he opens his eyes to his dreary office. Empty. He always wakes up glum from those dreams. It’s so stupid. Somehow, if possible, he misses Seokjin even more than before.

“I’m going to drop off Yoongi’s dinner. I won’t be long, but you can already start, don’t wait for me!” Seokjin tells his brothers while they unpack their dinner he brought from work. Both of them look up at his words, raising their eyebrows in unison.

“Ah, sure, you’re dropping off dinner at Yoongi’s,” Jeongguk starts, “it won’t take long,” he grins, “just a couple of hours and a slow-dance.”

Seokjin splutters while Namjoon jumps on the bandwagon, snickering, “Yeah, it won’t take long, I’m just going fishing with Yoongi, see you in a week!”

“It won’t take long-,“ Jeongguk cackles gleefully.

“Yah, yah, stop it!”

“-it’s just a party next door,” Namjoon continues, “just let me check out every single song on the dance floor”

“-with Yoongi.”

His ears are burning. Why are they so annoying?

“Yah, I bring dinner home and this is how you thank me?”

Smirking, Namjoon shoves Jeongguk lightly, “Yeah, Guk-ah, don’t make fun of your hyung.”

Jeongguk returns the gesture, “Yeah, hyung, don’t make fun of your hyung. He brought you dinner!”

“Dinner we have to share with Yoongi!”

“Dinner you won’t be sharing with Yoongi at all when I take it all away from you!”, Seokjin retorts while he makes to put the dishes back into the bag. Jeongguk and Namjoon cry out, grabbing for the food. “Wait wait! We’ll take it, please, thank you hyung,” Now they start bowing exaggeratedly, “Ah, thank you hyung, thank you, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, you’re the best, you don’t take long at all!”

Namjoon laughs and Jeongguk shows his bright happy bunny grin, his eyes forming crescents.

Rolling his eyes, Seokjin takes the bag with the rest of the food and walks to the door. “Maybe I will take longer!” He calls over his shoulder. “Because Yoongi is better company than you!”

“Aww, come on, Seokjin-hyung!”

“Seokjin-hyung! You don’t mean that!”

“Don’t abandon us!”

“Yoongi is so lucky to have you!” Seokjin rubs his ears as he pulls the door close. These kids, honestly. Just as well. Maybe he will have dinner with Yoongi instead. He’s texted him after his shift wondering whether he’d like some snacks from his working place. He didn’t want to press him to skip family dinner again, but, well, he thinks as his heart skips a beat in anticipation, he’s just really missed Yoongi very much and is eager to show him what he’s making at his new work and most of all, he wants to know what he thinks of it. So he’ll drop off some food and then Yoongi will save it as midnight snack maybe…he bites his lip. It won’t be as good if he has to warm it up again hours later. No, it’s still going to be really tasty, he’s pretty confident in his cooking skills. Or should he have waited for a better timing? His uncertainty dissipates when he spots Yoongi waiting for him by the terrace, shuffling his feet with his hands stuffed in his pockets. When Yoongi sees him the corners of his mouth twitch up in a soft smile. Seokjin returns it with a bright grin and waving hands, joy bubbling up in him at the sight of Yoongi.

“Hi.”

“Hey. How are you?”

Yoongi nods, “I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m fine, too.” For a moment, they just look at each other before bursting into laughter. Like a pair of old neighbouring men doing small talk over the fence. It’s nice, though. And Seokjin has missed this. But…he clears his throat, “Ah, here, I don’t want to keep you…” He holds out the bag. But Yoongi just stares at it with parted lips, then looks at him with a slight pout. “Are you not…? I thought we’d…”

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “Oh, I didn’t want to assume…Don’t you have family dinner?”

Shrugging, Yoongi replies, “I had one yesterday.” He blushes, ducking his head slightly, “So if you want…would you like to have dinner with me? Un-unless you’re having dinner with your brothers of course-“

“No, I, I’d love to have dinner with you, Yoongi-ah.” Seokjin grins when Yoongi’s eyes turn big and hopeful. They glitter so prettily. He looks so sweet. He stifles a laugh when Yoongi squints at his finger before Seokjin bops his nose. Flustered, Yoongi shakes his head and blinks at him. And then his face splits into a gummy smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Lead the way, Yoongi-ah.”

Nodding, Yoongi says, “Watch out for moms. We have to be stealthy.”

“Operation play hookey.” Yoongi’s shoulders shake with laughter.

They creep quietly through the mansion until they reach the secret kitchen. It’s like entering Narnia, a kingdom of food and cooking, a whole world reserved for just the two of them, who are here again for another secret dinner unbeknownst to the rest of the residents. Seokjin loves it.

“Is really no one ever using this kitchen except for you?”

“Hm? Of course they do, but hm, probably not as often as I do…Hoseok keeps his personal stack of ice cream here, though.” Yoongi shrugs.

Seokjin perks up. “Ice cream? Do you think…”

Yoongi smirks. “Sure, he wouldn’t notice, anyway.” Grinning, they settle at the table and unpack the dishes. Yoongi takes a sniff, “Hm, looks good.”

“Thank you.”

“So you’re working at a restaurant, now?”, Yoongi asks as he bites into a gimbap while they heat the jjambbong.

“Yes, I scored a nice job at a small, new restaurant. We mainly serve seafood dishes.”

“Hm. I like the taste.”

“The gimbap’s from Kai. I did the jjambbong. Wait till you’ve tasted that.”

“Kai?”

“It’s Kai’s restaurant.” Seokjin smiles. “A visionary, ambitious young man. Well, I guess he’s doing a good job. In any case, his team is great and the restaurant is pretty popular.”

Yoongi considers him. “You seem happy.”

It’s a knee-jerk reaction to agree, since he usually responds affirmatively to anyone asking him whether he’s fine. But now he pauses to think for a moment. Nowadays, he’s busier, distracted and exhausted more from work than from his inner tumult. Yet ever since the party, since making up with Yoongi and encountering Park Jimin, he feels better. It's bearable, the dull heartache whenever he thinks about Hoseok and he feels richer for the things he's gained. A part of him is ready to accept the misfortune that is his love life, is even so generous as to maybe forgive Park Jimin. He's lost Hoseok to him and his heart will forever remind him of that with a skip, a wrong beat once in a while. But this he's won: the self-satisfaction that comes with being generous and forgiving, the readiness to finally move on...and this. His regained friendship with Yoongi. He'll never take Yoongi’s presence for granted again. Seokjin’s eyes soften as he regards him. There’s something so innately sweet about Yoongi. He hides it well behind a cool demeanour and Seokjin feels privileged and grateful for being allowed to see this side of him. It warms his heart.

“I am.”

Once the food is ready, they dig in, a stream of praises leaving Yoongi’s lips whenever he isn’t stuffing his mouth full. It’s lively and warm in the kitchen, although it’s just the two of them. The wonderful smell of delicious food fills the air, their happy chitchat and laughter bounce off white walls and cold pans and pots, breathing life into the room. It’s so easy to hang around with Yoongi, so comfortable to be in his presence and there’s no lack of things they can talk about. But he’s more aware of him, wants to give him the attention he deserves, reminding himself not to take him for granted ever again. So he asks and asks and listens when Yoongi reviews animatedly the latest book he’s reading, when he explains the pros and cons of comparing rap to poetry with shining eyes, when he talks stock market predictions until he pauses to take in Seokjin’s befuddled face before breaking into a laugh, eyes almost screwed shut and crinkled at the corners while his gummy smile is showing. Seokjin can’t help joining in. At this point, they’ve stuffed themselves so full it hurts his stomach to laugh this hard. Yoongi, too, seems to have the same problem as he groans and rubs his belly tiredly.

“Yah”, Seokjin sighs.

“Yah.”

“Yaah.”

Yoongi chuckles, “Yaah, enough.”

“Hm.” Sagging in their seats, they share a moment of companionable silence, allowing the food and beer to sink in.

“You know,” Seokjin says after a while, “you should come by Kai’s sometime.” Yoongi raises his eyebrow. Seokjin shrugs, “Since I often work at noon I can’t drop by your office during lunchtime, but you could come by my working place.” He smiles at Yoongi. It would be nice to have him visit them. Then he could cook him anything he wants. Yoongi considers him for a moment before grinning back. “Okay.” Seokjin hums happily as he takes the last piece of gimbap between his chopsticks and holds it towards Yoongi. “Here, take the last one.”

“Oh, God, you take it, I’m so full.”

“Nonsense, do what hyung tells you to. Aah!”

Blushing slightly, Yoongi gives in and lets Seokjin feed him. Seokjin smiles in satisfaction. As he watches Yoongi chewing contently he wonders if it’s too early to test this newly regained friendship. But he can’t help it.

“Kai’s is a really nice restaurant.”

“Hm.”

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon, though?”

“Hm?”

“It’s got great food, but no atmosphere.” Jinius.

Yoongi chokes on the gimbap.

Life goes on. Two coffees in the morning to feel human, home office as always to indulge his lazy and antisocial side, lunches and dinners with Miyoung, with family, or skipped once in a while for his peace of mind. And in between…texts from Seokjin wishing him a good morning before his shift starts, reminding him not to skip lunch, subtly pressing him to visit Kai’s. Sometimes he’s called outside for a snack on the terrace in the mellow summer night, sometimes he smuggles Seokjin in for secret cooking in the evening. He hides a pair of soft slippers behind a plant pot by the terrace for those occasions. They’re pink.

It’s weeks later, though, before he manages to make time to visit Seokjin at his working place. The restaurant is situated in a busy street and stands out with bright letters spelling out Kai’s. It’s actually not so small and seems pretty crowded. He falters in his steps, reluctant to squeeze himself in. He won’t find a sitting place to eat… Oh well, maybe he can say hello to Seokjin and have something to go. When he enters, he notices the many – jeez – many many school girls – are they selling idol merchandise? Did he walk into the wrong shop? He finds himself stepping out again with his phone in his hand, rechecking the address. Squinting through the window, he does see people seated and eating. Huh. Heaving a breath, he navigates through the throng of people once more. Ugh, it’s so loud and giggly. He feels a bit lost.

“Yoongichi!” His eyes widen at the call. Before he can spot him, there’s already a hand grabbing his, pulling him further inside. “Oh”, he breathes, taking in the sight of Seokjin’s broad back while he leads him through the crowd, throwing him a bright grin over his wide shoulders, chatting happily.

“What?”

“I wanted to know whether you had any trouble finding us!”

“Oh, uh, no.” Light pink really suits him. The shirt stretches flatteringly over his chest, and the neckline dips just so…

“Huh?”

Seokjin laughs and bops his nose, “I asked what you think of this place? Concentrate, Yoongichi!”

“Ah…” Oh God, someone’s testing him. What’s the question again? Seokjin’s chest size?...115 cm, probably. “Ah…” He reddens and scratches behind his ear. “It’s– uh– it’s great. Broad- I mean! Big. Bigger than expected.” Ground swallow me up.

He forces his eyes upwards - past dangerous realms of cleavage, clavicles, neck, jaw, lips – and dares looking into Seokjin’s. God, he’s failing this test so badly. It’s not his fault. No one is allowed to look so…so edible themself when making food! You’d confuse them with the actual meal, for heaven’s sake. Seokjin’s hair is tousled, his face flushed and gleaming from a layer of sweat while his eyes twinkle with joy. His heart-lung condition hits him full force. Dance floor, kitchen, fishing – Yoongi knows, yet it’s hard to get used to Seokjin’s special beauty in his different habitats, it’s difficult to control his heart beat, to breathe evenly when Seokjin surprises him like this.

Seokjin laughs and throws an arm over his shoulder, dragging him to a corner by the counter and pushing him into a seat. “I think you’re starving, your brain doesn’t seem to be working properly.” Yeah, it’s a feat to think straight when you’re thirsting…and gay. So gay. He feels himself burning.

“We have to change that. You sit here, so I can watch you enjoy the food! Do you want anything specific?”

“Er, no. Just, just pick something for me.” He can’t make accountable decisions right now.

Seokjin beams at him. “Okay, wait a minute!” Seokjin walks around the counter and vanishes behind a door probably leading to the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eyes Yoongi notices fleetingly one of Seokjin’s colleagues giving him a curious look. He can’t be bothered, he thinks, as he takes a deep breath, trying to regain control over his muddled head. He’s so stressed he wants to lie down and close his eyes until he’s, like, one with the floor or something. No can do. Instead, he looks around him, taking in his surrounding. There are indeed a lot of middle school kids – girls – around here. Don’t they have to be in school? Hm. And – curiouser, curiouser – they seem less interested in their meals than – Yoongi follows their line of sight and sees a handsome, no, correction, a very handsome waiter serving them their food. He sees a repetition of that scene again and again with another very handsome waiter and comes to a conclusion.

This is a thirst shop.

And the target group is puberty-ridden truants. Well. Surely, Seokjin fits the profile of handsome cook but does he actually realize the concept of this place? He scowls at the teenagers who giggle behind their hands as they shamelessly goggle at a waiter’s ass. They should appreciate the meat on the plate, not the one in apron serving them their meal. So immature.

“Are you Seokjin’s Yoongichi?” Yoongi whips his head around. Seokjin’s-? His wide eyes meet another, freaking gorgeous face. Do they actually hire models here?

“Uh, yes?”

The guy grins broadly and gives a slight bow, balancing various dishes in his hands. “Hey. I’m Kai! How are you? I hope you’ll enjoy the food!”

“Oh. Thank you. Nice to meet you, Kai-ssi.” Yoongi gets up to return the bow politely. So this is Seokjin’s boss. He glances at the counter, wondering where Seokjin is.

“It’s great to finally meet you! We’ve all been curious about who Seokjin’s Yoongichi is!”

“Pardon?”

“He talks a lot about you.” Mischief twinkles in Kai’s eyes. “To be honest, at first we thought he was talking about his cat.” He laughs while Yoongi stares at him dumbfounded. Seokjin’s cat?

Putting down the dishes, Kai continues, “But of course, we figured you’re his boyfriend.”

Yoongi splutters, feeling himself blushing deeply. “I- we- no- you’re-“

“Huh?” Kai raises his eyebrows.

“We’re not- uh, I’m not.” He clears his throat awkwardly, “His boyfriend. Uh.”

Kai’s eyebrows climb further upwards as he looks at Yoongi disbelievingly. “What, you’re not his boyfriend?” He frowns as Yoongi shakes his head. “But you’re Yoongichi?”

Yoongi thinks he can’t get any redder. It's weird when someone else calls him Yoongichi.

“I am. Yoongi.”

Kai brightens. “So you’re his boyfriend!”

“No! I’m not!” Oh my God, what is this discussion, he wants to die.

“But-“ There’s a clank and suddenly, Seokjin reappears behind the counter. “Yoongichi!” Slightly breathless, he hurries towards Yoongi, throwing Kai an exasperated look. “Kai!”

“Seokjin! I just met your boyfriend!” Kai grins again.

“I’m-“

“He’s not-“ You could fry eggs on Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s faces.

Kai looks between them as he seems to finally understand. He points at Yoongi. “He’s not your boyfriend?”

Beet-red, Seokjin answers, “No.”

He frowns at them both. “Huh.” Then he turns towards Seokjin and stares at him for a moment before saying, “Then Seokjin, would you like to go out with me?”

“Wait-!“ Yoongi chokes while Seokjin gapes at his boss.

Kai bursts out laughing, “Just kidding, just kidding.” He slaps his leg as he doubles over leaving Yoongi and Seokjin flustered. At last, he straightens and smirks at Yoongi, “Forgive my little joke. Please enjoy the food," he winks at him, "it was made with lots of love!” With that, he turns and walks towards the kitchen, but not without murmuring for everyone to hear, “Totally his boyfriend.”

The ensuing silence is slightly awkward as Yoongi and Seokjin look anywhere but at each other while around them everything is abuzz with chitchat and laughter – and quite a few stares and whispers directed at them. He tries to calm his racing heart.

“So, uh”, Seokjin starts, “that was Kai.”

“I see.”

“Please forgive his behaviour, he’s, well, uh-“

“Of course, of course.” Finally, their eyes meet. Seokjin snorts. It loosens something in Yoongi making him chuckle. “That was kind of awkward.”

Seokjin huffs. “Yeah, it was. I’m so sorry, I don’t even know why he’d think…”

Yoongi’s smile turns lopsided as he drops his gaze. “Yeah. Yeah, there’s no reason for him to assume…” Yeah, why would Seokjin ever. He pushes the thought away, lifting his eyes to Seokjin’s again. “Anyway, are you on break, now?”

“Ah,” Seokjin glances at the clock, then at the crowd. “Actually, I should probably help, it’s rush hour-“

“Sit down and eat, Seokjin!” The guy behind the counter shouts, rolling his eyes at him with a grin.

Seokjin blushes, but to his delight, he takes a seat next to Yoongi nonetheless. Yoongi smiles as he starts explaining the food while his heart finally finds a normal rhythm and warmth spreads through his body from where Seokjin’s pressed close to him. As he watches Seokjin pointing out the different dishes in front of them, drinking in his lovely face, his beautiful hands (while ignoring his chest as best he can), he mentally concedes that he’s actually not any better than the teenage girls around him. There’s delicious food on his table yet his eyes feast on a whole different kind of meal.

Chapter Text

“Seokjin’s Yoongichi!” Aaand he’s out.

“Waitwaitwait” a heavy arm wraps around his shoulder, stirring him back into the restaurant. “Where are you going?”

“Actually-“

“You gonna leave without saying hello to your Seokjin? What kind of boyfriend does that?” Kai gives him a stern look. Yoongi presses his lips together and heaves a sigh as Kai determinedly leads him to the now familiar corner while exclaiming, “Seokjin’s Yoongichi is here!”

Behind the counter, Chanyeol looks up at them before shouting towards the kitchen, “Seokjin-ah! Your not-boyfriend’s here!” Resignedly, Yoongi drops into his seat, letting his eyes roam over the place while trying to ignore the stares. “God, you’re cute”, Kai snickers before leaving him be. He lets out a breath. It’s so…it’s so embarrassing.

He gets greeted like that every bloody time, with slight variations to it, because Kai and his lot think they’re so funny. He should get used to it already, after all, he’s borne it with nonchalance many times before. The things he does for Seokjin.

But sometimes it’s just a lot. Too much. He’s had a long, busy week with annoying conferences, skipped meals and with Miyoung nagging at him again, urging him to accept all kinds of invitations. And it’s been ages since he’s seen Seokjin (like, a week or something) and longer still since they’ve had a quiet evening together. More often than not, it’s this crowded, noisy place with too many eyes.

Today, the teasing is grating on his nerves. It’s just. He knows they mean no harm but it feels like they’re constantly rubbing it in that Yoongi is not Seokjin’s boyfriend when, when that’s all he’s ever wanted. He blushes at the thought, his heart beating faster. That’s all he’s ever wanted. Sudden longing surges through his body, unsettling him, making him feel too hot, too much. He wants Seokjin so much, as more than just a friend. He wants to be greeted as Seokjin’s boyfriend without irony, wants to meet him not just for lunch and dinner. He wants to see him first thing in the morning and last thing at night, wants to be allowed to see him, to trace the lines and curves that his eyes travel along first with his fingers, then with his lips. He wants to worship him like he deserves to be, to memorize Seokjin through touch and kiss and smell, every part of him. And he wants to lean on his shoulder whenever he feels like it, wants to stop having to restrain himself every time his hand searches for Seokjin’s. It’s so hard to hold it in sometimes.

He jerks out of his reverie when an elegant hand settles over his, warm and gentle and familiar, so familiar. His breath hitches as the thumb rubs soothingly over his skin, setting his nerves alight.

“Yoongichi.”

He lets out a stuttering breath and parts his lips, but no sound escapes him.

“Hey, are you alright?” He stares at their hands, his own limb so still and relaxed, belying his inner tumult. It’s so hard to hold it in and now he might just break. Slowly, he shakes his head. Seokjin squeezes his hand. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I-“ At last, he lifts his eyes to look at Seokjin. He stares back at him with concern written all over his face, with furrowed brows and an unhappy pout. And Yoongi - he wants to smoothe out his frown, with a touch of his fingers, with a brush of his lips. He wants to kiss him until he can feel him smile and drink his laugh. He wants and wants and wants. Always wants. And like always, he's stuck, overwhelmed by his emotions with his heart in his throat and his tongue in a knot.

"It's just", he breathes, "just been a long week." Seokjin looks unconvinced. He wishes to tell him, so badly, but at the same time he thinks he'd never be able to look him in the eyes again when Seokjin turns him down. Like the best of friend he'd do so gently but surely, with a kind, maybe pitying smile and a caress to his hand. And things would change, to the point, maybe, where they’d start avoiding each other - if Yoongi doesn't flee the country first. And then he wouldn't be able to see him, anymore, and that - he doesn't want.

"I just missed you", he finally whispers, a truth he can admit without risking it all and an explanation for his mood Seokjin seems to accept.

Smiling gently, Seokjin squeezes his hand once more and says softly, "I've missed you, too."

I miss you more.

“Yoongi-ah. Hey.” Blinking, he sees Seokjin’s smile falter. Hyungi, don’t. Pushing his thoughts aside, he clears his throat. “So what’s on the menu, today?” For a moment, Seokjin considers him silently, his eyes roaming over Yoongi’s face. Then he tilts his head, the corners of this mouth turning up again while he pats his hand.

“Dumplings.” His grin widens when he suddenly reaches out to poke Yoongi’s cheeks, startling him. “For my favourite dumpling.” And then he laughs joyfully, his whole face lighting up, and Yoongi feels like bursting with fondness.

“Hey, Yoongi-ah, cheer up!”

“I am. Cheered up.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes at him. “Yah. I wanted to surprise you but I guess you need it now.” Leaning closer with bright eyes and a smirk he can’t seem to hold in, Seokjin tells him, “We’re going fishing, Yoongi-ah. This weekend.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “We are?”

“We are. You and me and the sea. I checked with Jisoo, I know you’re free, so you’re going fishing with me.” Seokjin nods decidedly. “I organized the fishing boat and provisions already, so you can’t back down.”

Fishing with Seokjin…a weekend with Seokjin…Yoongi ducks his head as he can’t help smiling at the prospect.

Seokjin beams. “There you go!”

Fishing. Chapter one: Why it's the best, most perfect wonderful thing to do. Seokjin sighs contently as the ship veers towards the open sea, away from the bright lights of the city and closer to the blinking stars, and the air of adventure breezes over him, promising magic. Home is the ocean. Deep and dark and full of glittering wonders.

"Oh, look, Yoongi-ah! A shooting star!" He points excitedly at the sky. "Quick! Make a wish!" He puts his palms together in a prayer and closes his eyes. He wishes for Jeongguk to do well in his exams, for everyone to stay healthy and happy, and for Yoongichi to finally laugh at one of his amazing jokes. He'll need all the luck for that. Satisfied, he opens his eyes with a smile.

"Hey, did you make wish? Yoongichi!"

"Hm."

"Are you asleep? I can't tell with the bucket hat. Yoongichi!"

Pushing up the hat's rim, he finally sees Yoongi's eyes staring back at him and can confirm that he's only half asleep.

"Were you even looking?"

"Hm."

"Yah, I should have wished for you to stay awake!"

"What did you wish for?"

It's talking! Seokjin grins, "I can't tell, otherwise it won't come true! What did you wish?"

With a shrug Yoongi gazes at the open water. "I didn't make a wish."

"Yah, you slept, I knew it!" Seokjin huffs, then wonders, "What would you wish for, though?"

Slowly, Yoongi turns his head to look back him. Seokjin thinks he’s falling asleep again when Yoongi replies, “I’d wish to hold a star.”

It sounds like a sweet, innocent wish of a child that sees a shooting star and tries to grab it from the sky, that runs towards the end of the rainbow with the conviction to find something there. A child has dreams and wishes, but unlike adults it believes them to be in reach, untainted by doubts and restrictions of reality. Seokjin wants to laugh, to make a joke about it – but there’s something in his stare, something intense that makes him falter and realize Yoongi might not have said what he said with a light heart. His eyes soften.

“There’s nothing that you can’t make possible.” He smiles warmly at Yoongi, “I have a feeling that you’re already very close to your goal.” Yoongi ducks his head, hiding everything under his giant bucket hat in the darkness of the night, denying Seokjin his lovely features (is he smiling? Is he blushing? Embarassed or happy at Seokjin’s words?), before returning his gaze to the ocean. Hm, finally, there’s the downside to fishing by night. You can’t really see your partner.

“Indeed, the shooting star fell right about-“ he points into the distance screwing one eye shut, “-there. So we should drive in that direction and then you can fish for your star.” He winks at Yoongi. “I’ll help you, too.” Yoongi snorts.

“Come on,” Seokjin grabs his hand and pulls him inside, “let’s have ramen and then we’ll look for all the stars that took a swim in the ocean.”

Laughing, Yoongi squeezes his hand while following him, “You sound like Namjoon.”

Seokjin grins, “All the slimy, slippery, scaly stars, gotta catch ‘em all!” He swings their intertwined hands high in the air. “I choose you, Yoongichi! Tackle!”

“Yah, you’re dislocating my shoulder. And I’m not a Pokémon.”

“Hm, but I’d love to carry you around in my pocket all the time.”

Seokjin laughs delightedly as in the bright light of the cabin, Yoongi cannot hide his deep blush from Seokjin at all.

Stars, in the end, escape them, but a few of the slippery, scaly sea dwellers take their bait. Afterwards, they rest. Yoongi falls asleep as soon as he lies down on the bench. He must have had a really long and tedious week. Fighting his own sleepiness, Seokjin turns onto his side from where he’s lying to take Yoongi in with his eyes. He sleeps like a baby curled in on himself, his knees bent with his hands between his thighs. A tiny ball of sweetness…and legs. He’s wearing those shorts again. Seokjin swallows. He’s been doing a great job at ignoring Yoongi’s…limbs up until now, but in this quiet moment with his lazy tired mind he can’t stop his eyes from straying to – not thighs but thighs – and knees and calfs and he thinks ‘limb’ or ‘leg’ aren’t pretty enough terms to give you a proper idea of these beauties and it’s devastating. He feels his ears burning, sleep slowly leaving him as his thoughts warm up his body most inconveniently. Oh God, what’s wrong with him, it’s just his friend’s…appendages he needs for walking. Just legs. And knees. He stares at them.

He wants to touch.

He jolts upright, flushed, his heart palpitating, eyes still glued to you-know-what. In a valiant attempt to get a grip on himself, he rubs his eyes, then grabs a blanket. Gingerly, he spreads the blanket over Yoongi and pulls it up to his neck. There, that should keep him warm and cosy. And there, all covered, hidden, out of sight and totally out of mind – The Legs. He nods to himself. This is cool. Fishing is cool. Such a great way to relax, to put your mind off stress and stuff and it’s nice to discover new fish and temples and fetish through your friend and – Seokjin groans into his hands. Why. This is just…who invented shorts? That’s just. And how dare he wear shorts when he has legs like that, like, Yoongi is usually so considerate but every time they go fishing he just casts that virtue aside and wears fucking shorts.

Frustrated, he crouches down in front of Yoongi, who is sound asleep, unaware of the trouble he’s causing. With effort he tears his eyes away from Yoongi’s lower half of the body to stare at his face.

Serenity. Yoongi radiates a peacefulness that calms Seokjin. He always likes watching him, loving the perfect composition of his delicate features that makes him look so young and soft, then gorgeous and mesmerizing the longer you study him. How can anyone look so tender and kind, yet come across so cool and imposing at the same time? Yoongi remains a mystery to him. He’s like a cat, predictably unpredictable, now sleek and elegant, then a sagging ball of fluff and pout, and always immensely adorable despite being trouble sometimes (those legs). Unbidden, his hand reaches out. In the last second he stops himself from touching Yoongi’s nose, not wanting to wake him up. Instead, he carefully brushes a lock of hair aside. His eyelashes are so pretty, fanning oh so softly over his cheek. And the curve of his eyes are like a master’s perfect stroke of the brush. He loves them. His gaze drops lower. He loves that nose, and he loves that cute pout. He could watch him forever. Propping his face in his hands, he stares at Yoongi some more, sleep slowly creeping up on him again. Then he remembers his plan to cook. “Ah.” But first, he pulls out his phone to take a picture of Yoongi. It’ll last longer.

While Yoongi sleeps on like a baby, Seokjin prepares a variety of dishes with the fish. Finally, he starts decking the table in the cabin, the delicious smell of food filling the air. Then he walks over to Yoongi. Leaning down, he brushes his knuckles lightly over his cheek. At the touch, Yoongi stirs slowly awake. Seokjin smiles fondly at him. “Hey, sleepyhead.” Drowsily, Yoongi blinks at him as his fringe falls into his eyes. Seokjin combs his hair back for him, his fingers lingering on the side of his face.

“You awake, yet? I cooked something for us.” For a moment, Yoongi stares at him through half-lidded eyes, still in the process of waking up. Then he takes a sniff and parts his lips. “Oh…” Sitting up, he sees the meal before him. “Looks really good”, he says, his voice deep and croaky from sleep. Blearily, Yoongi paws at the rug to wrap himself in it. Picture a kitten stuck in a blanket. He yawns and huffs and shifts around, covers his head with it, then lets it fall to his shoulders, leaving his hair tousled. There's a split second where he seems content with the result, hidden from the world in folds and folds of wool, his lips pressed into a small pleased smile. Then he scrunches his nose in dissatisfaction as he realizes he'll have to undo his perfect work a bit to use his hands for eating. Seokjin almost expects him to literally meow in frustration anytime now. He can barely contain his fondness and amusement he feels watching the cuteness overload. There, there, kitty, you'll manage. Taking a seat next to Yoongi, Seokjin nudges his shoulder, “It should taste good, too.” He grins when Yoongi's smile returns to his face as he takes the chopsticks he hands him. They start eating in cosy silence, watching the sun filter through the windows, listening to the sound of the waves. Yoongi seems too tired to say much, but he gives praise through little noises, satisfied moans and quiet smiles. He’s soft and warm beside Seokjin, pressed close to him, blending into his side. When his stomach is full and drowsiness finally overcomes him he leans back and drops his head onto Yoongi’s shoulder, slotting the last parts of them together. Like puzzle pieces, he thinks briefly before his eyes fall shut, rocked to sleep by the ocean and Yoongi’s steady heaves of breath.

Chapter Text

“Weird weird weird”, Hoseok murmurs. Weird. He shoves his face deeper into the freezer, widens his eyes to a maximum to see better, flares his nose to sniff out the far corners of the compartment. Weird. Where’s all his chocolate ice cream gone? He’s usually well-stocked with ice cream, the fresh, fruity flavoured for very hot days, the chocolate for any day, really. And he needs it Now. He craves it. So where? He shuffles the boxes and tubs around. Mint chocolate, mint chocolate, strawberry chocolate. Mint chocolate. A flash of insight makes him straighten abruptly, grinding his teeth.

This is a crime scene.

Someone has stolen from him. He wags a finger at the ice cream with furrowed brows and thunder in his eyes. “Weird!” No, correction, “Criminal!” A shadow in his periphery. He whips his head around to the door he’s left ajar. The culprit revisiting the crime scene! Tense and with puffed out chest he strides to the door, ripping it wide open. No one there. But when he turns his head he sees Yoongi walking further down the corridor. “Hold it!” He hurries towards him while Yoongi doesn’t falter in his steps at all, completely ignoring him. Telltale! Grabbing the hem of his brother’s shirt he pulls him backward. “We need to talk.”

Yoongi first tries to resist, but then stumbles after him with a groan. “Ugh, Hoseok-ah!” Staying firm, he drags him into the kitchen.

“Let’s talk tomorrow.” He whines.  “Or better, text me. I need to go to sleep, now.”

“Hah!” He glares at Yoongi. “Text you, so you can ignore me? As if!”

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi leans against the counter and drops his head. Hoseok plants himself in front of Yoongi, crossing his arms and adapting a serious look. Then he starts pacing up and down for good measure.

“Min Yoongi. Did you eat all the chocolate ice cream?”

Huffing, Yoongi pushes himself away from the counter and makes to leave. Quickly, Hoseok stops him with a hand to his chest. “Don’t weasel out! We’re sorting this out now!”

“Hoseok-ah. I’m tired. There’s plenty of ice cream left in the freezer, what’s your problem?”

“Aha!” Hoseok cries out triumphantly, “How would you know there’s plenty of ice cream left! You know the contents of the freezer! Why? Because you pilfered!” He pokes his chest repeatedly with his forefinger. Annoyed, his brother swats it away.

“I don’t need to pilfer to know! Like you’d ever run out of ice cream! What’s it matter, then, that chocolate is missing? Eat the other stuff.” He walks over to the fridge and starts rummaging. “There, eat mint chocolate flavour. Or – mint chocolate flavour. Or –“ Yoongi frowns at him. “mint ice cream. Seriously, Hoseok, what’s wrong with your taste buds? This is, like, five litres of toothpaste.”

“I beg your pardon,” Hoseok says indignantly in the face of that grave insult to his taste, “this isn’t toothpaste, this is just the superior flavour but you wouldn’t know of course, would you.”

“Eat your superior flavoured ice cream then.”

“Aaargh,” he tears at his hair, frustrated with his cool-hearted brother. If he thawed a little, if he only tried to taste a bit of mint, flavoured his life a bit with something minty fresh, he wouldn’t talk to him like this. “But I’m in the mood for pure chocolate ice cream right now! I’m suffering here! Help me!”

“Well, I can’t cough up pure choc ice cream for you on the spot, I’m sorry.”

He glares at Yoongi, then deflates after a moment. Yeah, yeah, Yoongi can’t help him. When it comes to the joys of life, to ice cream, he’s better off taking care of it himself. With a sigh, he looks forlornly at the chocolate ice cream free fridge, then back at Yoongi, giving him a once over.

“What are you wearing, hyung?”

“Hm?”

Bucket hat, sweater, shorts. Shorts!

“Have you been fishing again?” He raises his eyebrows. What are the odds? Is Yoongi consequent with his hobby, now?

“…Yes.”

Hoseok brightens. “Oh, a whole weekend again?”

He chases after him when Yoongi starts walking out of the kitchen without a word. “Hyung! Did you go fishing alone-”

“Yes.”

“-or”, Hoseok pauses. Now, that answer came too quick. He gasps, “You totally went on a fishing date! Who is it?”

“I did not.” Say it to my face, bucket hat! He tries to walk in front of him but Yoongi is fast when he wants to be.

“Who who who? Guy or girl? Is Dahye back in town?”

“No! Yah.”

“Umma’s been nagging- oh wait.” He stops in his tracks as the truth dawns on him. “You!” He points an accusing finger at Yoongi’s retreating back. “You’ve eaten all the chocolate ice cream after all! You and your secret date!”

“Good night, Hoseok.”

“Wait-“

Yoongi shuts the door in his face.

A more immature Jung Hoseok would of course storm in without hesitation or – he hears a click – pick the lock. But Hoseok has grown over the years, even more so as of late. There are boundaries and unspoken rules he’s learned not to break, and Yoongi is a sensitive flower you cannot rush, cannot swoop down on just like that. Too strong a wind will shake his petals, and one too many blasts might break his stem. He frowns at the handle. One too many times darkening his door might one day make the flower turn away from the sun for good.

Hoseok can count his fears on one hand. Bugs are number one. Then snakes. Height, that too. And rollercoasters. Zombies. He holds up his other hand. Okay, he concedes to himself, maybe he has more than five. The point is, when it comes to his brother, he has one fear. That one day their relationship might break without him even knowing why, the cause being perhaps a mistake he’s made that he’s unaware of, and a Yoongi who won’t confront him about the issue, thus leaving the matter unresolved. He huffs. But Hoseok has grown, so maybe Yoongi has, too. They’re all adults here. And his keen observation tells him that Yoongi’s found someone who can maybe tickle more confidence out of him, make him bloom some more. Someone who can teach him about life and all the things he’s still missing out on.

Like Jimin. The thought of him alone makes his heart swell and his chest puff out, energy soaring through his body. With a smile and deep breath he turns and walks back to the kitchen, feeling already recharged even without an ounce of ice cream in him. Jimin. His soon to be husband. He skips to the fridge, barely able to contain his excitement, the tingling thrill. Jung Hoseok, soon to be husband of Park Jimin. Soon to be married. He feels giddy with happiness. Planting his ass on the countertop he starts spooning mint chocolate ice cream, letting his feet dangle back and forth. Delicious. The best kind. Wow, he feels like flying. Strong, proud, confident. He could take on the whole world right now. Just you wait, once he’s Married and a Responsible Husband with Responsibilities he’ll be unstoppable. He could save the rain forest. He could save the whales. He straightens his spine. He could run for president! Jimin’s voice echoes in his head. Small steps, Hoseokie, small steps.

Nodding to himself he continues eating. Small steps. First, he’ll start working again. Like, Tuesdays, from 10 to 12 am. It’ll look good, responsible. A husband who can bring home money. Scratch that, make it Tuesdays and Thursdays. He can totally handle it. He’s studied for it, has practiced it for years looking over his father’s shoulder. Business ain’t hard, just a bit boring. Lots of numbers and swaying partners with smiles and drinks. He’s good at both, people seem to forget, not that he cares. Hm. He’s good at calculations, but somehow he miscalculated his brother. Yoongi’s right, he used to like working with his father, going to the office. Seeing your smart moves come to fruition, predicting the market correctly, holding the power and control to direct the future of companies, it’s a sublime kind of thrill. Add the necessary fun and game of socializing to it, the prestige and face you have to flaunt in certain circles and it’s a world Hoseok was literally born into. In this household, Yoongi isn’t the only genius fired up for numbers and money.

But for Hoseok, it’s always been easy. People had expectations of him and he delivered. He carries the right name, has the right face, the talent. Born into this and owning it, he’s always had a place secured in the company. However, his brother…

He was a different story. It was late in his teens when he first realized the way people used to talk about Yoongi, with Yoongi. The disrespect they didn’t try to hide in their interactions at social gatherings. All because of his background, because of a name, a mother who loved her son, nothing extraordinarily tragic, but made a mountain out of by narrow-minded, arrogant snobs. Wherever they went, comparisons and judgments upon the siblings. Which, to be honest, isn’t much different from other families, the high society is just built on gossip and bad-mouthing and wrapping it in glitter.

On and on it went, through high school, university, with Yoongi showing grit and spite and intelligence, proving the elite that indeed, he cannot be placed on the same steps as all the other VIP, the chaebol of the upper crust, because he is leagues better than any of them in every way. He smiles fondly at the thought. Yoongi is awesome. Working at the company was fun and games and natural for Hoseok, but to Yoongi it meant so much more. To him, it was everything. A way to prove himself to the whole world once and for all, to make a name for himself, to validate the name Min.

And still people made it difficult for him, now more out of pettiness and envy than just contempt. He never voiced it, but Hoseok saw his struggle. And one day, Hoseok decided to step back to silence some of the bad mouths who kept trying to play them off against each other (laughable), who kept comparing them. Maybe there were better solutions to that issue, this was a lazy, an easy one, yet it worked. No more shadows for Yoongi to overcome, all the light shining on him. And Hoseok, without missing a beat, filled out the role of a spoiled rich kid who’s grown into a spoiled rich man.

He’s never regretted his decision until he started realizing that work took in Yoongi’s whole life. He thrived and excelled in it but became more withdrawn, more unreadable, more tired. Hoseok miscalculated. He wanted the best for his brother, but this was not it. Maybe it’s time to rectify things, though. If Hoseok does well, he could fill in Yoongi’s position at least so he can take a break once in a while. Particularly, if he has someone special to spend time with. Hm. Who is it, who is it? Unbelievable, that he’d hide them from family. Has Umma finally been successful in matchmaking? He’ll have to ask her. Looking around, he contemplates the possibilities. There are no hints here, nothing revealing. Chairs, table, pots, all the same. With the spoon between his lips he opens the fridge and considers the contents. Food, stuff. A bag. He tilts his head. Kai’s. Frowning, he takes a look inside and sees some dumplings. Kai’s. It rings a bell, a far away, broken bell, but…aargh. It’s nothing, probably, he thinks and closes the fridge. Sighing, he resumes eating.

Where was he? Ah. Small steps. Come to think of it. He should apologize to Seokjin. Properly. With a fancy dinner? He thinks for a moment. What would Jimin say? Well, he’d say…he closes his eyes in contemplation. People would talk, Hoseok having dinner with someone other than his fiancé. Bad idea.

A day at the amusement park? Too over the top. Small steps, Hoseokie. He sighs. Law school is nothing compared to this. Really, Hoseok is good at reading people and catering to their needs. Just give him a couple of decades to learn their soul language. What does Seokjin need? What would he want for an apology? He worries his lips. If Yoongi is hard to read, then Seokjin is worse. And he’s intimidating in his own way. Hm. Maybe he should ask Jimin. Ah, maybe he should ask Yoongi! He’s hung around with Seokjin before, maybe he has an idea. Didn’t they dance together at that one party? And didn’t they go fishing that one time? Maybe he could apologize to him with fishing- suddenly, all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt.

There’s a loud clank as he hits the countertop with the spoon still in his hand, eyes wide as realization strikes him like the worst of brain freezes.

“Seokjin!” he yells to no one. “SEOKJIN!!” Yoongi’s been fishing with Seokjin! Kai’s- Kai’s is the restaurant Seokjin’s working at!! Seokjin’s Yoongi’s love affair!! He gasps and covers his mouth. Since when!!?? Did he- was he- when he went out with Hoseok?? Is it more recent???? DOES ANYONE KNOW oh my God he has to tell Jimin asap like OH MY GOD!! No wait, he has to confirm! He needs to talk to Yoongi!! No wait, he needs to talk to Seokjin!! His heart rate spikes. This is exciting. This is stressing!! Argh! He screws his eyes shut and holds his head as a real brain freeze overcomes him. Oh my God, give him a break.

Small steps. Small steps. Keep calm and use your brain. He can talk to Yoongi later. He should apologize to Seokjin first. He needs to discuss with Jimin now. Uff.

Ah, Jimin-ah, save me save me.

As if on cue his phone chimes.

Where’s my ice cream?

What’s taking you so long

I’m still so hot

And where’s my fiancé

I’ll need him to burn the calories after <3

He flushes, all previous thoughts thrown to the wind. Oh, the things he does to Hoseok. He needs so little to ignite a fire in him. Hoseok swears he’ll be the best kind of husband, he’ll make breakfast for Jimin every morning like he already does, he’ll take him out for fancy dinners like he already does, he’ll make sweet sweet love to him everyday, hm, like he just did. His mind drifts off for a moment, making him grow hot all over and his pants uncomfortably tight. He shakes his head and tries to cool himself down with another spoon of ice cream. Hm, he should return to bed soon, Jimin is waiting. He hurries to finish the ice cream tub. After all, he still has to practice being husband. Preparation is everything.

And then he remembers that Jimin wanted chocolate ice cream. Aw, this is just! He huffs. Jimin cannot be swayed to the minty side of the force, he’s tried. There’s only one option left, really. He grabs the strawberry chocolate flavoured one and starts walking back to his suite. Mint is fantastic, why don’t people see? Maybe this is love, he thinks, seeing past his faults, embracing his imperfections, loving Jimin for his flaws and weaknesses. Jimin doesn’t like mint chocolate, but Hoseok doesn’t like him any less because of that. And Hoseok is an idiot, yet Jimin is determined to become eternal roommates with him. His heart skips a beat as butterflies awaken in his belly. He starts jogging, then sprinting towards his suite, towards Jimin, feeling as if he’s growing wings. Maybe this is love.

“You said you wouldn’t push.”

“Well, I changed my mind. You cannot refuse all of them.”

Yoongi closes his eyes and sighs. Why now, why. He hates this and she knows this.

“And on Friday it’s just a gala.“ Miyoung shakes her head. “You and your father! Really, you know the rules. Show your face once in a while. As CEO you’re obligated to.”

Obligated, obligated. “Have you forgotten about the deal with your father? He wants a break, too. You can’t let him shoulder all the events alone! And Friday’s just a gala.”

“Just a gala”, he echoes, throwing her a suspicious look. “No setup.”

She rolls her eyes. “No setup.”

Just as awful. Like it isn’t bad enough that he has to attend all of the Jung parties. He pokes around in his bowl listlessly with his chopsticks. “Fine.” Be done with it. Moving on.

Miyoung tuts. “Hold yourself straight, Yoongi. Where’s this attitude coming from?”

It’s always been there! Can she stop nagging already. All the same, he straightens and takes a proper mouthful of rice. He should have skipped lunch with her and gone to Kai’s. Regret, regret, regret.

“Yoongi.” There’s a pause. When he lifts his eyes, Miyoung is staring at him with a slight frown, looking more worried than irritated. Oh what now.

“Yoongi, do you want to tell me something?” He swallows down all his snarky comments, not wanting to be disrespectful and annoying. Instead, he asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’d reconsider the arrangements if you’d like to invite someone of your own accord.” He clears his throat, careful not to choke on the bits of food he’s still chewing on while Miyoung gazes at him with shrewd eyes. Focusing on his meal, he tries not to blush. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“A little bird told me – well, rather, a loud cockatoo – told me that you’re seeing someone?”

“I’m not”, he says coolly, while internally, he’s panicking, his heart racing. Who’s told her? Who’s seen them? What are people saying? They’re just hanging around as friends, why would she assume-

“Is it Seokjin?” He chokes on the bite. Miyoung continues, “It is, isn’t it? Just tell me, Yoongi. I like that boy, always have. His misstep with Hoseok notwithstanding. There’s no need to hide, Yoongi.” She looks expectantly at him. “So? Am I right?”

“We’re-“ He gapes at her, feeling his blush creep up to his ears. “No, we’re just, just friends.”

“Just a friend you regularly sneak into the house at night?”

He splutters. Miyoung smirks at him. “Aha, the mystery about the pink slippers is solved. I’ve been wondering all this time!”

Satisfied, she leans back. “Invite him over properly for dinner, no need to be shy. We’re no strangers, after all.”

This is so. “Miyoung. We’re not. Seokjin’s just a friend. A- a good friend. We, we cook together sometimes. That’s all.” He scratches behind his ear, mortified by the whole misunderstanding.

She furrows her eyebrows. “You’re not-?”

“No.”

“So you’re not sneaking him in to-“

His face is burning as he only manages to shake his head. He can’t believe this conversation. Oh God. He can’t believe seeing her disappointed at his lack of, of a love life. He wants to die.

“But you like him?” He drops his gaze. There has to be a way to get out of here. He fumbles with his phone. “Ah, it’s late, I think I need-“

“Yoongi.” He stills at her tone. “Yoongi,” she repeats softly, “look at me.” His shoulders fall as he deflates and gives in.

“If you like him, then tell him.” She smiles kindly. “It’s not rocket science.” He’d rather do rocket science. He parts his lips, feeling his heart tremble with emotions again. It always sounds so easy when people say that. People like Miyoung and Hoseok and Kai who see someone, something they like and don’t hesitate to proclaim their affections, however fleeting they may be. Are they not scared of rejection? Is he just too cowardly? Have they never felt the way he does all the time? Don’t they know what a heartbreak does to a man? He feels lost. Maybe it is rocket science with him sitting in the space tin box. If the stars align he’ll fly to the moon, reach the unreachable, touch all the sparkling dreams in the sky. If not…

“He likes Hoseok.” He says quietly, thickly, returning his stare to the phone in his hand. “Always has.” His chest squeezes. Why can’t he- He’ll never get over this. It’s so hard. It hurts so. A light touch to his cheek makes him startle. Tenderly, Miyoung cups his face. “Are you sure? Things change, you know. People change”, she nudges his chin to make him turn towards her, “feelings change.”

He takes a shuddering breath and gets up, her hand falling from his face. “I have a conference. Sorry.” Within seconds, he’s out of the door, Miyoung making no attempt to call him back. Feelings change, he recalls bitterly. His never have. If anything, his feelings for Seokjin have only gotten stronger. Unbearably so.

He walks past Jisoo without sparing her a glance. The moment he closes the door his phone rings. Seokjin. His heart skips a beat. Why is he calling him? He stares at the picture on the screen. It’s Seokjin when he was still blond, smiling brightly on their trip to the temple, looking at something in the distance with shining eyes. Just Seokjin being happy.

Slowly, he slides down against the door until he sits on the floor and takes the call.

“Yoongichi, hey!”

“Hey, Seokjin-hyung. Why are you calling?”

“I wanted to hear your voice! I haven’t seen you since the weekend! Don’t you miss me, too?” He closes his eyes as his heart aches and aches.

“I do.” He hears Seokjin chuckle lightly. “Did you have lunch?”

“Yeah. With my mother.”

“That’s nice.” There’s a pause before Seokjin continues. “I was hoping you’d come by, though. I wanted- I was wondering whether you’d like to come by this Friday to celebrate Jeongguk’s birthday with us?”

“Oh, this Friday is. I can’t.”

“Oh…”

He tightens his grip on the phone, “Trust me, I’d love to, but I have to attend a, a social event. It’s- I just. I’d love to. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no don’t be, I understand. It’s okay, I- I know you’re busy. I thought I should ask anyway…”

“Thanks for asking, hyung.”

“And, um, we’re going fishing, my brothers and I, you know, as a present for Jeongguk. And I was wondering whether you’d like to join us?” Truly, it warms his heart that Seokjin would include him in his family trips like this. But right now, with the pain so raw like a reopened wound he isn’t sure whether he should accept the invitation or run away. He gnaws at his knuckles, feeling lost and hopeless. Any time spend with Seokjin just makes him lose himself in dreams and longing. It just makes everything worse.

“Yoongi? You still there?”

He shouldn’t, his mind whispers.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m still here.”

“So? Will you join us for fishing?”

He shouldn’t but his heart is weak and every throb drowns out his mind, spelling SeokjinSeokjinSeokjin. Defeated, he opens his eyes, staring into his empty office.

“I’d love to.”

Chapter Text

They meet up with Yoongi at the port because he comes straight from that social event on the other end of the city. Namjoon, Jeongguk and Seokjin stand there waiting in the dark, bleary eyed, 2/3 of them slightly tipsy. Maybe it wasn’t a smart idea to party before going fishing. Maybe. They’ll see. Seokjin bets on Namjoon to fall into the water first. Oh well. Beside him, his brothers start air boxing each other. Hm. What’s taking Yoongi so long? But then he sees the headlights of a familiar Aston Martin and Yoongi getting out of the car – in his bloody shorts. Suddenly, he’s wide awake, his razor focus on Yoongi’s half obscured face. Oh, he’s in trouble. “Yoongi-ah!” He waves with his hands, searching for his eyes beneath the bucket hat. Somehow, he finds knees instead. Oh, for heaven’s- “You ready?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was held back a bit and then I had to get changed- Jeongguk-ah.” Pearly white legs walk past him towards his brother. They look so smooth. He must be using a special kind of skin lotion for sure. They’re shimmering in the moonlight like, the moon. So gorgeous. So- Namjoon nudges him in the side. Seokjin blinks and turns to look at his brother who raises his eyebrows at him. He blushes. Oh, he’s in trouble. Seokjin is drunk while Namjoon is not. Seokjin is drunk while Yoongi wears shorts. This doesn’t bode well for his dignity. Ignoring Namjoon’s all seeing everything, he strides towards Jeongguk who’s jumping up and down like an excited bunny with the biggest grin on his face and throws an arm over his shoulder. “What did Yoongi get you that you’re all of a tizzy? Surely nothing that can top my present?”

“It’s a special voucher for the all-you-can-eat lamb skewers place.” Jeongguk looks at him with shining eyes full of reverence, “It’s an annual pass. I can eat lamb skewers everyday. My dream has come true.”

“What?” Namjoon takes the pass from Jeongguk to examine it. “There’s such a thing?”

Disbelievingly, Seokjin stares at Yoongi with wide eyes, “How- that’s a lot, Yoongi!” Yoongi smirks, seemingly immensely pleased. “It’s a special birthday, and a special year what with graduation and all. You deserve it.” Here he pats Jeongguk on the back. “And anyway, once he works for Jung Trading it’s part of the business expenses. All good.” Seokjin keeps staring at him while Namjoon and Jeongguk swoon over the ingenious present and thank Yoongi. He feels weird in his chest region. With a smirk, Yoongi tilts his head to return his stare. “And I needed to one-up your present.” He winks at him, all cocky and playful, before turning back to Jeongguk and Namjoon, talking and laughing with them while they board the ship, leaving Seokjin behind who’s rooted on the spot. He’s stunned, stunned by Yoongi’s gummy smile, hit by his wink like a bullet to his heart. All the blood has rushed to his head, and his chest feels too small for both lungs and heart together. His organs seem out of sync, missing air, missing the right beat. He rubs his chest and shakes himself back to motion to follow the others. You’re just drunk, the booze sings in his veins. It’s that time of the day, his own voice echoes in his mind. It’s just Yoongi, his heart beats in Morse code. Just Yoongi. Nothing more.

Seokjin will never forget this fishing trip. He breaks it down into three parts. Part number one: Intro. The moment the ship leaves the port they all take a nap, exhausted from the parties beforehand. Afterwards, they get a 101 on fishing and have another party with ramen and soda. When they start fishing, he enjoys the night sky, the breeze from the ocean, the childish joy his brothers display. Next to him, Yoongi falls back into his bucket hat fishing persona, silent and still like a statue, yet awake enough to deign him a grunt in answer to his splendid jokes once in a while. He likes it so much that he plays with the idea to quit his life on land and start a fishing career at sea – with exactly all the fishing buddies that are here with him right now. Jeongguk would totally be on board. There's a round of applause and taking pictures when Namjoon and Jeongguk catch their first fish. It's an awesome present, Seokjin compliments himself, everyone has fun and breakfast is secured. It's going swimmingly.

It’s dawn on the horizon, beautiful and magnificent. To his right, Namjoon remarks, his voice filled with awe, “Looks like the sun is bathing in the sea.”

Seokjin snorts and nudges Yoongi who’s also giggling. Simultaneously, they both shout, “It looks like egg yolk!” They double over with laughter as Namjoon and Jeongguk stare at them in confusion. He can’t. It’s so funny, he hits Yoongi’s arm repeatedly with tears running down his face. Leaning forward against the railing, he manages to put down his fishing pole to clutch his stomach which is hurting, oh my God- ow, oh- his hand slips- oh oh- uoooh- it happens so fast. Now safe and sound on deck and confident with his bet he’s placed on Namjoon’s head, and in the next moment losing it all, his balance, the ground under his feet, his dignity and the darn bet. He welcomes the free fall like Newton’s apple welcomed gravity and plunges into the cold water. He feels shock and wet. When he resurfaces, kept afloat by the life vest, he hears hollering and another loud splash.  Turning towards the noise he sees another orange vest next to him - attached to Yoongi.

“Y-Yoongi!”, he splutters.

“S-Seokjin!! A-a-are you alright?!” There’s panic in his eyes as he flails with his arms, trying to get closer to Seokjin.

“Ye-Yeah, all good, all good!”

“HYUUUNG!!!” He looks up at the shout. Jeongguk is climbing onto the railing with big round eyes, ready to jump.

“Wait-! Guk-ah, what are you doing!”

“I’M GOING TO SAVE YOU!!”

“DYAAAH!!” Seokjin screams, waving with his arms.

“DON’T!” In the last second, Namjoon, the only sane person left on this ship grabs their baby brother around the middle and pulls him down.

“Oh my God”, Seokjin whispers.

“Hyung!” A hand grabs his vest, turning him. There’s the other madman staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips, wet hair plastered to his forehead. “Hyung!”

He covers Yoongi’s hand with his own. “Yoongi, Yoongi-ah," he says a little out of breath, "it’s okay, we’re okay, they’re gonna get us out of here, don’t worry. Did you fall, too?”

“I thought-“, Yoongi stutters and coughs as water keeps splashing into his face.

He seems more scared than Seokjin. “Hey, hey,” he cubs his cheek, “it’s okay, no one’s hurt. It’s just water.”

Yoongi stares at him, “It’s just water.”

“Just water. And I’m here, alright? It’s light and the ship isn’t driving and I’m here.”

Yoongi calms down. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.” There’s shouting and noise above them, but in that moment, Seokjin can’t look away from Yoongi. There’s something flashing in his eyes as they roam over Seokjin and finally settle on staring into his soul. He feels his heart flip and his stomach do a summersault. What a circus in his body, he thinks absent-mindedly. A hand reaches up to caress his face, Yoongi’s thumb brushing along his cheek, then the corner of his lips as the limb slips further down. He blinks against the drops of water as he drinks Yoongi in with his eyes in return, his hand mirroring Yoongi’s movements. He looks pale, scared and wet like a cat taking an involuntary bath. But it’s still Yoongi, his eyes, his nose, his lips – cast in a golden light by the rising sun against the backdrop of the morning sea, mesmerizing.

Around them, the natural spectacle of the dawning of a new gorgeous day. Wave after wave adds their chord to the symphony that’s lifted to the sky by the play of the wind. And transcending elements, breaking through the atmosphere, the sunrays spill light into the ocean like a million glittering diamonds. A harmony beyond compare. Yet looking at Yoongi, that beauty seems faint and far away. Looking at Yoongi, nature’s perfection appears surpassed. Suddenly, it’s hard to breathe, Seokjin’s chest constricted by the sea as he feels like drowning, drowning in a place where a life vest can’t save him.

Two burritos sitting on a boat, M-O-R-T-I-F-I-E-D. Seokjin and Yoongi sit side by side, wrapped in blankets as they’re getting scolded by the captain and fussed about by the crew. Meanwhile, his brothers look on gleefully in the back, barely being able to stifle their laughter.

The second part of this story is a series of blushing, mocking, and avoiding eye contact. Once the captain is gone he kicks Jeongguk in the shin. It goes really well through layers of wool with his leg restricted under the blanket and hits his brother marrow-deep. Jeongguk guffaws and takes a picture of him.

“Yah, yah, stop it!”

“I can’t, this is the best birthday ever, I need to save this for eternity.”

“Hey, can I have a look at your phone, please”, Yoongi wiggles a hand free and waves at Jeongguk who just grins at him. “No way. So Yoongi-hyung, how do you feel about jumping into the ocean after Seokjin-hyung? Any regrets?” Namjoon snorts.

“Are you filming?” Seokjin asks.

“Yup.”

“Yaah, gimme that phone!” He tries to grab for it - with his mouth, because he can’t get his hands free. He shifts and half jumps at Jeongguk in an elegant burrito way so it’s a surprise when he nearly face plants. Namjoon, his favourite brother, saves him from further humiliation, but as he suffers through his brothers pointing fingers and laughing at him with raised phones he thinks his dignity is long lost to them.

“Story time,” Jeongguk narrates, “Seokjin sees egg yolk in the ocean and dives for it. Yoongi follows him with a spirited jump. Plot twist: it’s actually the sun.”

“I recall you trying to jump, too.” Seokjin retorts. He glances at Yoongi to see him closing his eyes and leaning back. He jumped after him? Jesus, they’re all idiots here.

Finally, Jeongguk puts the phone away. “It would have been awesome! Namjoon held me back!”

“Yeah, and rightly so.” Namjoon says, rolling his eyes. “Guys,” Namjoon forms an X-cross with his forearms, “no drinking and fishing. Ever again.”

“I didn’t drink”, Yoongi grumbles behind the blanket. He’s buried half of his face, revealing only his nose and eyes. It’s so freaking cute.

“Even worse, hyung, even worse.”

“Ugh, I need to get out of here, it’s so uncomfortable.” Seokjin starts unwrapping himself, feeling too wet and warm under the rug. “Jeongguk-ah, could you fetch me my spare shirt from my backpack?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll make us some tea.” Namjoon says and leaves, too. Standing up, he peels himself out of his wet shirt. It’s a struggle. He gets rid of it just in time to receive a new, dry top from his brother.

“Thank you, Guk-ah.”

“Sure. I’ll go see if Namjoon needs help!”

“Yeah, you do that.” After getting the shirt on he spreads the wet one over one of the benches where the sun shines on to let it dry. Turning to Yoongi, he notices him buried even deeper in his blanket. He can barely make out his eyes behind his fringe.

“Yoongi-ah? You awake?”

No response.

“Yoongi-ah? Don’t you want to change?”

He comes nearer and sees that his eyes are closed. “Yoongi-ah?” he says quietly so as to not disturb him if he’s indeed asleep. Hm, seems to be the case. That was fast, they were just talking right now. And that’s not good, sleeping in your wet clothes. And how can he breathe when he covers his mouth and his nose like this? Carefully, he pushes the blanket down a bit. There’s a deep blush on Yoongi’s cheeks. It must be warm under all the wool, it’s summer after all. Seokjin wants to shake him and tell him that he should change into something dry, lest he catches a cold. But he falters as he regards Yoongi.

Something stirs in him. It’s a familiar, yet unfamiliar feeling. Like in the water, it’s gripping him, pulling at him, leaving his insides in a shamble. He draws his hand back from where he was about to brush a strand of hair out of Yoongi’s eyes as his heart begins to race. Frowning, he straightens and puts distance between them with a backward step, yet the pull only gets stronger and his heart beats harder, trying to escape its cage. He swallows, realizing that he’s scared to find out. He doesn’t want to know the centre of his gravitation. It’s nothing, he thinks as he takes another step back. Just Yoongi.

Just Yoongi.

He feels his heartstrings ripping through the pull. With effort, he tears his eyes away and turns to leave, his breath hitching as his torn heart tells him he’s walking in the wrong direction.

It’s just Yoongi.

And Seokjin is a fool as ever.

He’s sober after that. He takes his tea outside, watching the horizon, letting the warm salty breeze wash over him. It’s beautiful and clears his skin – but it does nothing for the mess inside him. His heart can’t seem to find its normal rhythm and he can’t get his thoughts in order. He feels caught off guard, unprepared. For what?

For nothing, he tells himself. It’s nothing. His whole body seems to bristle as if in protest to that thought. He takes a calming breath and tries not to think of Yoongi.

But it’s a useless endeavour. He keeps on watching without really seeing, keeps on drinking without tasting. Yoongi.

“Uff!” He almost drops his cup as arms wrap around his middle, holding him tight, pressing him against the railing.

“Hyuung!” He feels Jeongguk resting his head on his shoulder.

“Guk-ah, what are you doing?” Jeongguk hugs him tighter, his smile evident in his voice. “I’m making sure you don’t fall into the water again!”

“Yah,” Seokjin huffs as his brother squeezes all the air out of his lungs and leans them further over the railing. “Keep this up and I’ll be taking you with me on the next round of swimming- Guk-ah, I can’t breathe!” Laughing, Jeongguk lets up a little. “Seokjin-hyung, are you alright?”

“Sure. I took a morning bath in the sea, absolutely refreshing.”

“That’s good.” Jeongguk sighs happily. ”Thank you, Hyung, this is the best present. I have so much fun.”

Seokjin smiles. “I’m glad. You deserve it, baby.”

“Not a baby!”, he pouts and pokes him in his side, making Seokjin jump.

“Yah, you’re really asking for it!”

Jeongguk laughs, “Why not? It was funniest when you and Yoongi-hyung jumped into the water!”

“Yaaah.” They stay like that for a while, Jeongguk warming his back, giggling gleefully.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

“Kitchen. I think he’s trying to cook.”

Seokjin startles, whipping his head around to look at his brother. “What? And you let him?!”

Jeongguk hums, “It’ll be fun.”

Finally, Seokjin frees himself from Jeongguk’s Koala hug. “Jeongguk, you’re still drunk! He can’t cook on a ship! He can’t cook, period.” He grabs his brother’s hand and drags him towards the kitchen when he hears a loud clank. “Oh, the captain’s gonna throw us all into the sea!” Jeongguk just laughs. Luckily, nothing’s happened. Namjoon has just been searching for pots. Together, they prepare breakfast with the fish they managed to catch. It’s loud and chaotic. Soon, Yoongi joins them and it gets too crowded. So he sends Namjoon and Jeongguk, who’s still more drunken brat than useful hand, out. He turns around to Yoongi to tell him what to do but he’s smoothly picked up where his brothers messed around already, cutting the vegetables with dexterous hands and swift motions.

Wordlessly, Seokjin returns his focus to the fish. His heart starts pounding again. This was a bad idea. He isn’t ready to face Yoongi alone. Like always, they work well together without saying much. Yoongi seems relaxed and unperturbed by the silence, doing his thing, whereas Seokjin struggles to concentrate. Suddenly, he can’t help noticing everything. The way Yoongi holds the knife, the elegant movements of his hands, the prominent veins and tendons on his arms. The way he tilts his head a little with a shake to get his hair out of his eyes. His slight pout whenever he focuses, the low humming that’s almost drowned out by the sizzling pan. And the boring shirt he’s wearing that’s suddenly immensely interesting when it shifts under his motions, stretching teasingly over a toned chest, revealing just a bit of clavicles.

It’s the way he stands and breathes. The way he’s just there, being perfect.

Seokjin tries not to stare, tries not to blush, tries not to drop dead by the way his heart is attacked right now.

This can’t be. They’re friends. Good friends, the best friends. They’re – they’re the best thing he’s had in a long time. He doesn’t want things to change – it’ll be awkward and, and they’ll have a fall out again and then. What does he do without Yoongi, then? He doesn’t want things to change, he thinks panicky, he tends to ruin things and he’s got so much to lose, now.

“Ouch! Ah, f-“, hot oil splashes on his hand as he flips the fish too carelessly while deep in thought. Quickly, he holds his hand under cold running water. He hisses. Ah, it burns.

“Let me see.” Before Seokjin can react, Yoongi takes Seokjin’s hand into his, carefully inspecting the damage. He turns the limb slightly this, then that way, brushes his thumb softly over his fingers while his other hand wraps tenderly around his wrist. When he finds the red marks he runs his finger along the edges, frowning at them as if he could will them away. Suddenly, it’s a whole different kind of burn.

He draws his hand back from Yoongi’s hold, taking a step back. “I, ah, it’s fine, I think, I think I got salve in my backpack.” His eyes flitter around as he feels Yoongi’s stare bore into him. He reddens helplessly. “I’ll go- get that. Could- could you-?” He gestures vaguely towards the stove.

“Sure, hyung.”

“Great!” And he’s gone. On his way to the cabin, he meets Jeongguk hanging around with a crewmember and asks him to help Yoongi out for a bit. He finds Namjoon fast asleep on one of the benches. As he searches for his salve he frets over himself.

Stupid. Why can’t he stay cool? Already, he’s changing things without wanting to, putting distance between them, avoiding him. Slowly, he applies the salve onto the hurt skin, dragging it out, not keen on returning into the kitchen. With a sigh, he plops down on the floor and leans against the bench behind him. Maybe it’s just sleep derivation, he thinks exhaustedly. He drops his head back and closes his eyes.

Some time later, he wakes to the smell of food and hushed voices.

“Let’s wake them up. This doesn’t look comfortable”, someone murmurs. Then there’s a hand massaging the back of his neck, pressing just the right spots. Groaning softly, he opens his eyes. Yoongi smiles at him. “Hey, hyung. You shouldn’t sleep like this. It’ll hurt your neck.” He’s still caressing his nape and God, it feels so good, he almost moans. Yoongi’s got talented hands.

He blinks. This guy just can’t give him a break. He gets up, letting the warm, tantalizing, offending limb drop away.

Yoongi’s right though. He feels his neck crack and his back protest. Gingerly, he stretches and blushes when he finds Yoongi staring at him. Just breakfast left, and the way back to the port, and the way back to the Jung estate. Then he can go hide in his bed and scream into his pillow. He holds onto these thoughts as he soldiers on, being extra loud with his brothers all the while suffering silently with Yoongi’s knees pressed against his, with his arm brushing his, with his laughter, with his smile and his eyes.

"Mmph" Seokjin's piece of fish drops from his chopsticks and falls into his bowl of soup, splashing the contents over his arm and shirt. This just isn't his day. "Yaah." He puts the bowl down to clean himself, but a certain someone is faster.

"Hyungie." Yoongi starts dabbing him with a napkin, taking his hand gingerly, frowning. “Did it get on your burns?” Seokjin blushes under his ministration. “N-no, it’s fine, really.” He can’t help staring at Yoongi, can’t help enjoying his tender care. It’s bliss. It’s torture. “My- my other hand, though.” Reddening further, he stretches it out towards Yoongi, showing him the soup-soiled limb and Yoongi doesn’t disappoint.

“Oh my God,” Jeongguk whispers, “he’s into that.” Seokjin whips his head around with wide eyes to see his brothers staring at him with raised eyebrows. Quickly, he glances back at Yoongi in panic. But he’s immersed in the art of dabbing off soup and doesn’t seem to have heard the remark. Saved. Or not. Jeongguk smirks at him with mischief glittering in his eyes. The worst look on his brother. He feels like Jeongguk is about to push him into the ocean.

“RM”, Jeongguk says. Namjoon looks at him, lowering his chopsticks, “Huh?”

“The rapper?” Yoongi asks, perking up. Jeongguk grins so wide his bunny teeth are showing while his eyes crinkle at the corners. He nudges Namjoon and nods at Seokjin and Yoongi at the same time.

“Trivia:”

At first, Namjoon’s eyebrows disappear behind his fringe in confusion. And then he mirrors Jeongguk’s smirk as he throws Seokjin a dimpled here’s-to-brotherly-love-but-Imma-expose-you-now-look. Guess whose birthday is coming up next and guess who won’t be getting any presents from Seokjin. He casts his brother a wide-eyed warning look with puffed out cheeks and a pout, silently screaming at him through the Kim telepathy express way, but of course Namjoon ignores him.

“Love.”

Jeongguk drums on the table with his chopsticks, and then he starts to hoot, “Is this looove!”

“Yeah!”

“Is this looove!” Jeongguk points his chopsticks at Yoongi while Namjoon shoots Seokjin with finger guns. It’s a near kill. Seokjin thinks he’ll die of embarrassment.

“Yeah!”

“Sometimes I know” Seokjin turns to Yoongi in surprise, who’s bobbing his head along to the impromptu.

“Yeah!”

“Sometimes I don’t!” Yoongi starts waving the napkin around in a, you know, cool kind of rapper way.

“Yeah!”

Enthused, his brothers stand up and start belting out RM's latest hit, making hearts with their fingers, holding air microphones. Namjoon’s knee bumps the table and his cup of soda is the next thing that's flying but no one seems to care. When Seokjin looks to his right Yoongi is gone all of a sudden - in his stead there are legs. He clutches his heart and jumps back as his eyes trail up to find Yoongi standing on the bench, doing, you know, those bobbing rapper moves with one finger pressed to the ear and the other hand wagging in front of him, smoothly taking over after Namjoon's verse has ended. Jeongguk goes crazy. He throws his chopsticks to grab a bottle as a makeshift mic and starts dancing and harmonizing with Yoongi. Meanwhile, Namjoon shakes his head to the beat with his hands up in the air. Seokjin stares at them. It's a whole concert, they sound too good to be amateurs, what the hell. They're so cool.

You know what? Seokjin’s got swag, too. He jumps onto the bench and into the song,

“Nan geunyang saram, saram, saram!“

“Wooooohhh!!”

“Nareul sarang, sarang, sarang!“, puts his hands up to the sky,

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”

“Ulin salam, salam, salam!”, feeling the vibe,

“Nae sarang, sarang, sarang!”, ready to fly.

He grabs Jeongguk’s bottle:

“I live so I looove!

I live so I looove!”

And Jeongguk echoes his verses (Live & love, live & love) (Live & love, live & love), their heads pushed together, both holding the bottle-mic.  Then he throws it at Namjoon, “Namjoon!”, who catches it with unusual dexterity and continues.

“It’s a long way from I to U

Fuck, JKLMNOPQRST

I crossed all the letters and I reached you.”

The mic passes on to Yoongi, on to Seokjin and Jeongguk, on to Namjoon. They holler the last verses together with swaggy bobbing rapper moves like there’s no tomorrow, like humans made into love, edges eroded, I turned to O turned to heart.

Neon naui salam, salam, salam

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Neon naui balam, balam, balam

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Neon naui jarang, jarang, jarang

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Neon naui sarang (naui sarang)

Dan han sarang (dan han sarang)

“Woooh!!”

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” It’s hard to come down from the party. They have so much fun. At last, they sit down and eat up.

“Man,” Yoongi sighs wistfully, “makes me miss Sope.”

“Hm? Soap?”

“Why soap? You feel dirty? He only uses the F-word once in this song?" Jeongguk gives him a weird look.

“No, not the washing soap. S-O-P-E.” Yoongi smiles around his chopsticks. “The amazing rap unit SOPE. Made of, you know, Suga and Hope.” He blushes as they stare at him bewildered. Yoongi clears his throat. “Ah, my brother and I, we had that thing. He was J-Hope, I was Suga. Together, it’s Sope, you know.”

“No, we don’t know.”

“Were you good?” Jeongguk asks eagerly, eyes big and lips parted.

“Sure.” Yoongi scrunches his nose with a lopsided lift of his lips.

"Ayo, Suga!" Namjoon shouts, pointing at him.

“How’d you come up with your names?” Seokjin wonders.

Shrugging, Yoongi takes another piece of fish. “I can’t really remember. But it was something like, Hoseok’s my hope, and I’m his sweetness in life.” They stare at him. With the fish between his lips, Yoongi pauses as he notices the silence. “…Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yes, Suga boy,” Namjoon flutters his eyelashes, “can you be my sweetness, too?”

Jeongguk giggles, “Can you be Seokjin’s sweetness, too?”

And they choke. Yoongi gets a coughing fit, his face turning a bright red while Seokjin almost spills his soup again. Instead, he tries to swallow it, but it’s going upwards to his nose.

“You killed them, Jeongguk-ah.”

In the end, all of them survive the trip back to the port. Seokjin gets caught up in a conversation with the captain, making sure that there’s no harm done what with the overboard incident and the partying. When he finally gets off the ship he looks around but finds only Yoongi waiting for him.

“Hm? Where are Namjoon and Jeongguk?”

Yoongi shrugs. “They said something and then they were off.” He starts walking to his car. They didn’t bother waiting for him? He feels a sting of betrayal. So much for brotherly love, tested many times today, and failed every single time. Unveblievable.

“Are you coming?” Yoongi asks, about to climb into the car. Seokjin looks at him and feels his heart pounding again. Oh right, this means sitting in the car with Yoongi alone.

Well, there's no other option. He nods and steels himself, thinking of Van Gogh and the advantages of cutting off your traitorous, blushing ears.

At first, the ride is silent and uneventful. It's thanks to Seokjin's immense willpower. He's careful not to let his thoughts and his eyes stray to Yoongi who's driving. He’s got a trick. Currently, he’s on the third song of RM’s new album, silently singing/ rapping in his head. It’s going swell. Who the hell am I.

“Huh?”, Yoongi glances at him curiously, “You alright?”

Oh, did he sing aloud?

“Ah, sorry, RM’s album is playing in my mind.”

“Oh, Persona? Amazing song.”

“Yeah, RM is something else.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

Seokjin grins, “In the Kim household, we worship hip hop and rap and RM is our God.”

Yoongi’s shoulders shake with laughter.

“Although,” Seokjin contemplates, “Taehyung carries a picture of Agust D in his wallet.”

As one they both suddenly start,

“A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE S T D!!”

“A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE S T D!!” They bob in their seats like crazy,

“A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE S T D!!”

“Sending listeners to Hong Kong with my rap, my tongue technology!”

Seokjin laughs, “You sound like him!” Yoongi clutches his heart and looks blissfully happy, close to tears, “Aaah, that’s like, the best compliment I’ve ever gotten in my whole life.” Seokjin would double over right into the ocean again, if he were standing at the railing now.

“Come to think of it,” Yoongi says, “Namjoon kind of looks like RM.”

Thinking about it, Seokjin has to agree, “You’re not wrong.”

“He should put his face on the cover of his novels for better sales. Imagine all the female readers dropping their shoujo manwhas and delving into roman noir.” Seokjin snorts. “Naah, he wouldn’t. You know what Namjoon would tell you?” He grins, barely able to hold back his laugh, “He’d, he’d say ‘Ayo Suga!’” Now he’s cackling, “’Ayo, Suga! I want them hoes wanting me for my prose, not for my mug and a – you know.”

“Ooooh!” Yoongi hoots gleefully, holding his hand up to his face, posing with a dramatic gangster sign.”Ooooh!!” Seokjin guffaws, wiping tears from his face while hitting Yoongi on the arm.

They pull up at the garage. Yoongi hums, “Whatever will the Jungs do when Namjoon decides to quit to play double for RM? Look at all these babies, they need a babysitter.”

Seokjin giggles, “Didn’t you want to take up a car manual?”

“I did.” He parks the car and gets out with Seokjin following suit.

“And?”

Yoongi casts him his gummy smile, “It’s a good read.”

Seokjin raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi closes the door and rounds the vehicle. “All those metal things working together to pull more than a dozen horses can. It’s like reading fantasy.” Seokjin snorts and takes a few steps towards Yoongi. They meet at the front of the Aston Martin. He opens the hood and looks at Yoongi expectantly, leaning on the edge of the car. “So show me what you’ve learned.” Yoongi’s smile slowly drops as he parts his lips, a blush creeping up his cheeks. He looks so cute. His heart skips a beat. Ducking his head, Yoongi clears his throat and points at the motor. “This is the motor.” With questioning eyes, Yoongi glances at him.

“Very good. Go on.”

“Ah, you put oil in here.” His eyes flitter between the car and Seokjin. “And, and water in there.” As if on its own accord, his body leans closer to Yoongi, his eyes fixed on him, unable to look away. “Uh-huh. And where’s...the ignition wire?”

“I uh, I think” Yoongi blinks at him, “I think I need your help.”

“Do you know,” Seokjin begins, running his fingers along the edge of the engine compartment, “what it’s for?” He shakes his head.

His fingers brush Yoongi’s. He hears him gasp and his own heart pounding in his chest. “You need it for the spark to catch.” His eyes drop to Yoongi’s lips.

“Seokjin-hyung?” Startled, they both jump apart, looking up to see Namjoon approaching.

“N-Namjoon-ah.”

“Ah, so you’re back. We were wondering, what took you so long?” He sees their red faces and stops in his tracks. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No- no-“

“Why’d you- no-“

“Uh, I’ll.” Yoongi scratches behind his ear, talking to the floor while pointing in the direction of the mansion. “I’ll. Well, see you! Was nice.”

Seokjin watches him speed-walking away, then looks back at Namjoon.

“What was that?” His brother asks with raised eyebrows.

“Nothing,” he answers with wide eyes and racing heart. He propably looks like a tomato. “Just checking the car.”

“Checking the car.”

“Ignition wires and such, you know.”

Namjoon squints at him as if trying to solve a riddle. “Seriously, is that a metaphor for-“ He shuts the hood loudly, drowning him out. “Ah, let’s go upstairs, Jeongguk must be wondering where we are!”, he says and strides past Namjoon. He needs to get to his pillow now. He needs to scream.

He wanted to kiss Yoongi.

Part three: Epiphany.

Chapter Text

Seokjin wakes up to the biggest woe, the worst feeling in the world. He’s in love.

He smacks his face, covering his eyes from reality and groans loudly. It’s almost a week after the fateful fishing trip, days filled with panic and denial, of uncomfortable dreams about a certain someone, of avoiding said person. But today is it, he wakes up and is hit by the truth like a brick to his head. Someone up there is done with him dancing around the facts and he wants to flip them the bird. Please, denial is healthy, keeps you functional and sane. When it comes to love, though, Seokjin knows he’s unlucky. Destined to suffer. He turns onto his stomach and screams into his pillow. Maybe he can suffocate. Then he has the last laugh, hah, he ain’t a fool to anyone, anymore…30…31…32…he resurfaces, gasping for air, then sighs dejectedly. So close to a solution, foiled by his own body yet again.

His organs are all traitors. From his traitorous blushing ears to his stupid traitorous brain that can’t stop thinking of Yoongi. And most of all, his foolish, foolish heart that can’t keep to itself, that wants to give itself away without his permission. Maybe if he were dumber and blinder, he thinks, then he could live on in blissful ignorance, safe and sound, unsee, undo what’s now undeniably clear to him. When, how, what’s even happened? Last time he checked he was in love with Hoseok.

Hoseok.

He frowns. The last time he thought about him was…around the party. He remembers how sad he was at that time, how try as he might, he couldn’t stop thinking about Hoseok, couldn’t stop hurting. His feelings for him were like a hot pot boiling over, burning him. When he forced himself to turn his back to it, leaving it on the stove to simmer on he’d accepted to smell its bitter remains in the air for a long time, to carry the burns on him forever. But now that he’s checking, he finds the fire has ceased a while ago and the pot cold to the touch. Now, he’s eaten his fill elsewhere and finds no desire to heat it, its once enticing scent faint, almost forgotten.

Hoseok.

When did Seokjin stop dreaming?

Blinking against the morning sun, he holds his hand up, spreading his fingers so that the light filters through them. Sunrise, blue sky, sunset. He turns his palm and grasps for the rays, sees tiny dust particles dancing in the air and the light finding its way to him undeterred. Slowly, he drops his hand and closes his eyes, feeling the warming sun on his face, listening to the ocean in the distance. Sunrise. Yoongi. Blue sky. Yoongi. Sunset. Yoongi.

Pink slippers and ice cream. Fishing in the moonlight. Dancing under the stars.

He stopped dreaming when reality became better than his dreams.

It's been more than a week since Yoongi's seen Seokjin. Nine days to be exact - yes, he's counting. How could he not when everyday drags on and on in snail pace and is so incredibly dull. Jimin’s at his grandmother’s for a while, so it’s even more boring during dinner. Then there’s hiding from Miyoung during lunchtime (if he isn’t in a conference, anyway) and the stupid social events he has to attend. His schedule is packed. In the past, he’s never minded. Now, he wishes for more time. Time that he can spend with Seokjin. But they're both busy with work, and Seokjin was too tired to meet up late in the evenings which is totally understandable, yet very unfortunate. He misses him. It’s like a law of nature. Moon orbits Earth, Earth orbits Sun, Yoongi misses Seokjin 24/7, 365. It’s a fact he just lives with. He thinks he’s past the stage of denial and has been honest to himself for quite a while. It’s kind of freeing. It allows him to appreciate the moments with Seokjin more. He can truly enjoy Seokjin’s beautiful soul and bath in his radiance without regrets. Well, okay, with, like, maybe one regret. He’s dreamed about kissing Seokjin so often that sometimes he’s projecting. Like last time in the garage. He blushes at the memory. Seokjin had smelled so good, carrying the remnants of fishing with him. Salt water, sunset and stars. He could almost taste the ocean, could almost drink from it, drown in it. The way he tilted his head just so, watching him with deep, dark eyes, coming unnoticeably closer. His electrifying touch. Thank God Namjoon saved him from more embarrassment.

So, Life. He smiles to himself. Goes on, nicer and better than before.  

Take that, Hoseok, he does have a life. Hoseok, on the other hand, is being weird as of late. Define 'weird' when it comes to his brother, yeah he knows. Usually, Hoseok is the one approaching him about anything, really, being someone who carries his heart on his sleeve. He can't hold anything back. Yet lately, he's treading around Yoongi like he's doing his utmost to restrain himself, to keep something in while he's almost bursting with it. It goes like this:

"Hyung, hyung," Hoseok stops him in the hallway and gives him a meaningful look, tapping his shoulder until Yoongi brushes his hand off in annoyance. "I bought more chocolate ice cream. Like, mucho mucho more. Enough for, you know," he twitches with his eyebrows and shows his dimpled smile, obviously satisfied with himself. Yoongi stares blankly at him. He doesn't get it. Maybe the twitching is in Morse code? He concentrates on long, long, short, long-

"Hyung!" Like flipping an emoji, his brother is suddenly a walking deadly scowl. What?

"What? So you bought more stuff. To eat. “ He pauses. “More."

"Not just-" Hoseok huffs exasperatedly tapping his foot impatiently. His head turns red as he presses his lips into a tight line. Jesus, just say it? Yoongi frowns. Hoseok opens his mouth with a big inhale, about to talk, then stops midway, closing his eyes, then exhales slowly. Weird. Is this some lower level breathing exercise? 

Hoseok fixes him with a disappointed stare. "Never mind." And stalks off. Yeah, alright, he’ll never mind. He won’t mind their next encounter the next day, either.

“Hyuung! Hyung. Hyung.” Yoongi grunts.

“Heyy, hyung.” Hoseok gives him that look again, sending secret codes via wiggling eyebrows. “So.” He smiles brightly. “How’s Seokjin doing? Eh?” Nudge nudge with the elbow.

“Good,” He replies, though he hasn’t seen him since fishing. “I think.” Hm. Maybe he should text him. Yeah. He’ll ask him whether he’d like to come by in the evening. He gives Hoseok a suspicious look. When Hoseok leaves him for a bit of privacy, that is. Can’t have him watch over his shoulder.

“You think? Don’t you-” Hoseok throws his head back with a deep groan, turning on his heel and walks in the opposite direction. Still, he hears him muttering to himself, “Small steps, Hoseok. Yoongi, too. Miniscule steps.” Whatever, he thinks, his mind already drifting off to Seokjin as he gets his phone out.

Never Mind Hoseok when he slides into the seat opposite of him two days later during his morning coffee in the kitchen.

“Yooaa-aaAH.” Hoseok yawns. Then he props his face onto his fist and glares at Yoongi with all the might of a sunflower. His game isn’t so strong this early in the morning. “I checked. The ice cream’s still there.” That again? Is he testing him? He squints at his brother, trying to figure him out. Hoseok’s so blunt most of the time, but now he’s so cryptic it’s confusing. They can’t both be idiots at the same time. Taking one for the team he puts his coffee down and asks, “Hoseok, what are you trying to tell me?”

The glare intensifies, face turning a bright red as his lips deny him a straight answer yet again. Then he visibly deflates, his forehead creased with trouble. Yoongi’s about to press on when Hoseok suddenly pushes his chest forward, holding his palm level to his heart like he’s presenting the FILA logo on his shirt.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“I want you to read my heart.”

“Huh? What? Why?”

“Because I’m practicing restraint and this is killing me why can’t you read between the lines?”

Yoongi scowls in indignation. “Why is this suddenly my fault? And you’re one to talk! Like you’d know anything about reading between the lines.” He wants to laugh.

“You’re worse than me!”

“Jeez, Hoseok, there’s a time and place for practicing restraint and clearly, this is not it! Spill, you idiot, what’s the bloody matter?”

Hoseok huffs and puffs and tears his eyes wide open. “Then read my eyes!”

“Ugh”, he shields himself from Hoseok’s glare with a hand. “What’s a man gotta do to enjoy his coffee in peace.”

“Yeah, same!” Hoseok gets up and trudges to the cupboard, grabbing a mug to pour himself some coffee.

“You shouldn’t touch coffee, like, ever.”

“Hmrrgh!” Pointing at his own then at Yoongi’s eyes in a I’m-watching-you gesture he stalks out of the kitchen with his cup of coffee. Yoongi shakes his head. Is this Jimin’s influence? Practicing restraint? Is this what marriage will do to you? Changing you as a man, for better or for worse? He imagines himself in Hoseok’s shoes, going all the way with someone, facing the upcoming wedding, ready for eternity. He wonders whether Hoseok has actually found his true love in Jimin that he’s ready to conform to him. And he wonders, would he be the same? Conforming to someone he’s ready to commit a lifetime to? Maybe if it’s the right person…He imagines a ring on his finger and his hand intertwined with someone else’s. The texture of his palm would feel familiar and their fingers so interwoven he wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. He’d know his happiness, his sadness without having to look or ask, being in tune with his mate’s soul. More than the sun in his face and the rain on his skin his laughter would warm and recharge him. He’d hear the smile in his mellow voice when he speaks, would feel the caress of his breath on his skin and taste his divine scent where it is strongest in the crook of his neck. And when he does look up, lifting his gaze past soft, pink lips and the loveliest blush, he’d meet familiar ocean eyes.

Those ocean eyes.

His heart squeezes.

He’d bend the whole world for them.

So. Nine days after their fishing trip Yoongi walks into Kai’s, tired and annoyed from too little sleep and work, but mostly because he’s Seokjin-deprived. He needs to see him like he needs air. This close to him, he’s suddenly fed up with himself, impatient. What’s kept him from seeing Seokjin? Why did it take him so long (nine days!) to walk in here? He’s such an idiot.

He’s greeted with “Seokjin’s Yoongichi!” and thinks madly, yeah, Seokjin’s, with heart and soul! Just you wait, maybe, maybe today is the day! Maybe today, he’ll gather his courage like gaming chips and throw them all onto the table, all at once. Game, set and match. His heart starts racing. All in, right here, right now. Heart and soul – he’ll ask Seokjin if he’d like to take the rest of him, too. His hands begin to sweat as everything becomes too hot, too tight. He loosens his tie, rakes fingers through his hair. All in, here and now, for all the world to see. Thump thump goes his heart, louder than bombs. Thump thump it goes, quaking through his body, throbbing in his throat, loud and heavy, turning his tongue to lead. All of a sudden, he finds himself at the counter, then walking around it, his palpitating heart drowning out all sense in him. Now, it raps against his chest, let’s break out, set us free.

Fly.

He parts his lips, eyes fixed on the door to the kitchen-

“Hey Yoongichi, why don’t you take a seat?” He startles when Chanyeol addresses him.

“Uh.”

Chanyeol smiles kindly, “He won’t be long.”

“Uh.” He blinks uncertainly. What is he doing? Curiously, Chanyeol raises an eyebrow and suddenly, Yoongi’s heart plummets, wrestled down by his brain. He turns fire red. Oh my God.

Oh my God.

“Ah, y-yeah-ha.” He takes a step back. “I-I- uh.” He stutters as he stumbles towards the familiar corner, dropping his gaze in embarrassment. Oh my God. He sags in his seat, panting heavily while his heart is still beating wildly. What’s he doing, he groans into his hands. Crazy.

“Yoongichi!” He jolts out of his messy thoughts. Kai grins at him. “Haven’t seen you in ages! How are you? I’ll be your waiter today, because Seokjin’s being weird but I see you’re wearing matching blushers which is so sweet but, you know, less is sometimes more. So, what will it be, today?”

“Nughn.” Yoongi mumbles, not fully recovered, yet.

“Excellent, let Seokjin surprise you, good choice.” Winking at him, Kai shoots finger hearts at him before disappearing into the kitchen while Yoongi wants to disappear into the ground. He rubs the sweat off his hands on his pants, taking deep breaths. What’s gotten into him? He feels dizzy, the bout of energy quickly draining out of him. He stares at the entrance to the kitchen. Just minutes ago, he wanted to, wanted to…oh my God, he doesn’t even want to think about it. He flushes deeply at the thought that he was ready, so ready to confess publicly. Now, not so much. There goes his courage, piece by pathetic piece recollected by the croupier like tokens that are easier lost than won in the game of life. He sucks in a breath as the door opens – but it’s not Seokjin, just Kai.

“There you go, Yoongichi!” Kai sets down a delicious smelling fish stew and some dumplings– and takes a seat opposite of him. Yoongi blinks at him. “Ah, thank you.”

“Dig in!” Kai chirps and grabs a dumpling himself.

“Uh,” Yoongi glances at the kitchen, then back at Kai. “Where, uh, is Seokjin?” Kai shrugs as he chews contently, “He’s a bit busy, something wrong with the stew he needs to fix. Ah, nothing wrong with your serving, though! Dig in, dig in. You shouldn’t wait.”

That’s…unusual. Normally, Seokjin would join him, even when it’s rush hour. But maybe he really can’t abandon the stew right now, lest the food is ruined...His heart drops. What’s the point in coming here when he can’t see Seokjin? He takes another glimpse at the entrance to the kitchen then looks at his stew and finally takes a spoonful. It’s by Seokjin, he’s sure, having tasted and enjoyed it many times before. But without him sitting next to him, it loses a special kind of flavour. And Kai may be keeping him company, chatting about all and sundry, but he can’t help feeling bereft, the empty seat next to him glaring in his periphery. Where’s Seokjin?

“Hm? Don’t you like it?” Kai asks when Yoongi puts the spoon down and pushes the bowl away.

“Yes, I do…I’m just full. And…I forgot something, I guess I’ll go-“ He makes to leave when Kai’s hand shoots out, wrapping around his wrist.

“Wait! Do you want me to pack this for you as takeaway? You can’t waste Seokjin’s famous stew, now, can you?” Kai winks at him. “You’d never hear the end of it.” Ah, he’s right. Thinking of Seokjin’s scolding he can’t help smiling.

Yoongi’s in the house and Seokjin’s brain logs out. He hits his head against the ventilation (which never happens), drops the spoon into the stew (which also never happens), and almost crashes into a colleague as he turns to grab a ladle to fish for the spoon. He looks deep into the pot and thinks wildly that the heat will excuse the blush on his face, so he just needs another excuse for why he really, absolutely cannot for the life of him walk out there and take orders.

“Ah, I- I need to find the spoon-“

“Let me, so you can go to Yoongi-“

“No! Uh, could, could you get his order?”

“He’ll probably just want whatever you’ll give him. Why are you so red?”

“Kai!” Seokjin whines, “Can you just-“

“Jeez, alright, I’m going, but leave the spoon.”

He doesn’t leave the spoon be until he’s found it. Then he prepares a bowl of stew and a plate of dumplings for Yoongi, ignoring Kai’s and the others’ curious looks thrown at him. He blushes further, knowing that he acts out of the ordinary and it’s even more embarrassing now that he sees how everyone here seems to know his routine with Yoongi, how he usually almost drops everything to rush out to Yoongi, how he usually doesn’t allow anyone else to take his orders or to serve him food.

“Could you-?”

Kai raises his eyebrows at him. “Huh? Why don’t you?”

He stammers around an excuse.

“Still looking for the spoon? What’s up? Gimme that, you can’t keep honey boy waiting.”

Honey boy? He splutters as the door swings shut behind Kai. Nervously, he runs his fingers through his hair and puffs out a breath, his heart hammering in his chest. He looks around aimlessly, fiddling with his apron, unsure of what to do which is dumb because there’s always a billion things to do in a kitchen like this. But everyone else seems to treat him like he’s on break the moment Yoongi walked in, because that’s the routine, instead of calling him out for standing idly around.

He can’t just walk out there, he can’t, he doesn’t know how to be around Yoongi now with all of these new feelings, it’s, it’s a mess, an overwhelming mess he’s tried to cope with for over a week now and still he feels unsure and unprepared. He plays out the scene in his head. Seokjin would walk out there and say hi, and then Yoongi would say hi, too, and maybe smile, and that- his heart jumps as he imagines Yoongi’s sweet gummy smile, his crinkling eyes and deep soothing voice. He’d turn into a puddle of useless, blushing, stammering mess and look ridiculous and dumb and unattractive with all the sweat and smell of cooking and Yoongi in his smart suit looking perfect would probably keep on smiling kindly because he’s an angel but internally he’d think what a messy mess that Kim Seokjin is, what a weird looking, weird smelling guy, maybe I should stop coming here. And then, and then he’d think why does he hang around with him at all, when he can’t seem to form proper sentences and be normal. And what does Seokjin do without Yoongi, then? Little by little his heart breaks as his mind draws up scenarios of Yoongi finding reasons to turn away from him. Brittle, like a porcelain cup, that’s what love makes you. And this time, he thinks, there’s no going back at all. The tea is served, the cup held in precious hands. In the end, will he put it down gently, or drop it? The truth is, it would crack either way.

Still, he’s missed him (it’s been nine days) and his heart calls for him, so unbidden, he finds himself at the door, peeking out to at least catch a glimpse of Yoongi.

His eyes widen as he sees Kai sitting with him, eating his dumplings. He didn’t notice that Kai hadn’t returned after serving the dishes. What is he- Seokjin gapes as he watches Kai reaching out for Yoongi, grabbing his hand and- winking at him?! Something hot and sharp flares up in Seokjin. What is Kai doing? His gaze drifts over to Yoongi to perceive his reaction. He doesn’t know what he expected, what he wanted to see, but not this: Yoongi, sweet Yoongi ducking his head, revealing his soft smile he thought reserved only for him to someone else, seemingly relaxed and comfortable with Kai’s hand on him. It burns. He grinds his teeth, feeling something ugly clawing out of his heart with needles and bitter fumes. Honey boy, he called him. None of that, he thinks, unclenching his fists and blinking against the sting in his eyes. He’s still Seokjin’s Yoongichi. Instincts drive him forward. He puts his hands on the door and pushes.

There’s a bang when someone throws the door to the kitchen open, making them both startle. When Yoongi looks up he sees none other than Seokjin walking towards them. The sight of him stops his heart. He can’t help letting his eyes wander down the length of Seokjin, from his ruffled hair, his strong brows, to his broad shoulders and the shameless dip of the neckline of this particular shirt. The way the apron is pulled tightly around his slim waist, caged by veiny forearms and the most beautiful hands. The long strides of his endless legs. His eyes lift up to Seokjin’s face, to his immaculate complexion. It still shocks him that someone can look so gorgeous even after hours of working in the kitchen. How is he real?

Seokjin fixes his eyes on him. There’s something wild in them, something burning and intense that he’s never seen in them before. Ocean surge. The rising water short of flooding, taking everything back into the sea where it belongs. It takes his breath away, makes him feel like drowning even before the waves catch his feet.

Kai’s hand slips from his but he doesn’t notice, all of his attention focused on Seokjin.

“Yoongichi’s Seokjin! There you are!” Kai exclaims. Seokjin glances at him, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “Yeah, here I am.”

Kai stares at him for a moment, then says, “Well, then, I’ll be going.” Pointing at the stew he continues, “I guess you don’t want this as takeaway, anymore?” Yoongi blinks at the bowl, then manages to shake his head.

“Great! Enjoy the rest of the meal!” He grins at them, clearly amused and pats Seokjin’s shoulder before leaving them alone. Yoongi swallows. He’s rendered speechless by the way Seokjin’s just standing there in front of him, flushed, with heaving chest and messy hair and wild eyes. He looks so fucking hot. Fuck.

Yoongi’s sweating, his clothes feeling like they’re two sizes too small. Oh fuck. Fuck. No, don’t think about fuck just- fuck. Shit.

“H-hi,” Seokjin stammers, almost pouts and oh my God how can he be so fucking adorable when he’s also the hottest, sexiest man alive. Yoongi’s losing his mind.

“H-hi”, he replies pathetically and thinks, he must look like such an idiot. Seokjin mumbles something.

“Huh?” Sentences, Yoongi, use fucking words. With effort, he clears his throat, “I’m sorry, what- what did you say?”

“I- I- can I- sit?” He gapes at him, then scoots over, “Of course.” Seokjin’s eyes flitter uncertainly between him and the offered seat before he drops down next to him. That’s when he realizes his mistake. Oh for fuck’s sake. Like always, Seokjin sits pressed close to him due to the small space, but today nothing seems ordinary and Seokjin is one hot line from his shoulder to his knee teasing him, provoking him, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. Oh fu- fine. Okay. Just act naturally. He takes the spoon in his hand. Eat. Swallow. The temperature is rising. It doesn’t help that the bowl is spicy. Briefly, he wonders whether taking off the jacket might cool him down a bit, but then the barrier between him and Seokjin would be even thinner, and everyone would see the sweat stains on his shirt which, he’s embarrassed enough as it is. Eat. Swallow.

This is awkward. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Seokjin watching him without saying anything making him feel even more self-conscious.

“It’s, it’s really good.” He starts.

“Huh?”

“It’s- the stew, I like it.”

“Oh, good. Good.”

Somehow his eyes find Seokjin’s mouth. Now that he’s looking, he can’t stop staring at Seokjin’s pink lips. They’re so, they’re so gorgeous, so soft – so close.

“Would- would you like a…dumpling?” Yoongi asks desperatedly with hammering heart, mindlessly grabbing a dumpling with his chopsticks. He lifts it to Seokjin’s mouth without waiting for his answer. He just needs to do something about those lips and – he blushes further – kissing is not an option. So stuff them with food.

Slowly, Seokjin parts his lips and wraps them around the dumpling, taking a generous bite. His tongue darts out once, twice, to catch the fat from dripping, leaving his lips glossy in its wake. It’s a special kind of torture. When he starts chewing, Yoongi forces his gaze away, shifting in his seat uneasily. He hears the crunch of the crispy fried layer, a soft content sigh and the smack of lips when he’s finished. Glancing back at Seokjin, he sees him going in for the rest of the dumpling. Their eyes meet over the tip of his chopsticks, now hovering uselessly in the air as Seokjin chews on the last bite. Yoongi holds his breath as Seokjin stares at him unblinkingly with eyes so dark he can barely make out the brown around the pupils, shining with the same intensity as before.

Yoongi panics. If he could, he’d run away, but Seokjin sits between him and the exit, so he does the next best thing: he stuffs his mouth full and eats. Whether it’s a boring party, an uncomfortable family dinner, or this – whatever this is (people call it lunch, ha, he’s never had a lunch meal this stressful, like he’s working out, oh my God) – when in doubt, eat. Next, he grabs for the glass of water and gulps it down in one go. Taking a deep breath, he dares to look back at Seokjin – and finds him staring again.

“I-“, Seokjin starts, eyes widening, “I need to- go. Work.” With that, he gets up, bumping his knee against the table.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘m alright.” His ears are crimson while his eyes flitter around nervously. He seems troubled. “Seokjin-“

“See you, Yoongi-ah.” Yoongi stares after his retreating form, then looks back at his half empty bowl.

The door falls shut and Seokjin takes the first proper breath after, like, an eternity. An eternity of torture, of sitting next to the biggest tease on earth, and he can’t even blame anyone but himself. It’s his own fault for catching feelings. It’s his own fault that suddenly, normal isn’t normal, anymore, just seeing Yoongi, sitting next to him, eating lunch with him. It’s so stupid that he’d be so distracted by the simplest things concerning Yoongi, when they’ve never bothered him before. It’s so stupid to be sitting next to him and wanting to be closer still. It’s so stupid, that he could watch him all day just doing mundane things like eating, that he wishes to touch him, to kiss him. To just be with him.

It’s so stupid because it’s love and Seokjin is always a fool when it comes to this. He’s such a fool. He doesn’t want to lose the Normal with Yoongi, yet it is already slipping through his fingers.

And Yoongi…what if Seokjin can’t offer him Normal, anymore? He feels a pang in his chest. Just now, he could see how uncomfortable Yoongi was with him, and Seokjin could barely pull himself together in time.

So here he is, gnawing on his lips and at his feelings, flustered and agitated.

“You alright, Seokjin?” Kai asks.

“Hm? Yeah- fine.”

Kai gives him a sceptical look. “You sure? It’s just, you look-“

The door opens. “Seokjin?”

He whips around and sees Yoongi standing in the kitchen.

“Yoongi-ah-“

“Uh,” Yoongi looks around apologetically, addressing the staff as a whole, “I’m sorry, I just. I won’t be long.” Kai waves him off with a smile.

Seokjin can’t help blushing, being aware of his colleagues’ curious stares while Yoongi regards him with his lovely eyes. He blinks, then pulls Yoongi to the side to make way for the others.

“Hyung. Are you, are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright.”

“…You seem troubled. I thought…” His heartbeat spikes as he reddens further. Act normal. He smiles at Yoongi. “Everything’s fine. It’s just- rush hour and. Did you enjoy your lunch?” Tilting his head slightly, Yoongi considers him for a moment. “I did. Thank you…Are you sure you’re alright?”

It’s hard to keep up the façade when he’s clearly seen through his half-hearted smile. It’s hard to lie. It’s worse to be dishonest to Yoongi. He’s always told him genuinely how he feels, good or bad. But now…he falters.

“You know,” Yoongi says gently, “if you told me a dad joke right now, I’d laugh.”

That gets a surprised snort out of Seokjin. Yoongi smiles softly.

“…Have you thought of a fish pun, yet?”, Yoongi continues, “Or do you need some time to mullet over?” Seokjin bursts out laughing.

“What’s Bruce Wayne’s favourite food? Goth Ham.” He doubles over with his high-pitched, squeaky laughter, surprised and happy with Yoongi’s sudden show of punny humour.

“Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman? He was lost at C.”

Straightening, Seokjin grins at Yoongi. “I did. In fact, I told you that one.”

“Have you? Hm.”

There they stand, smiling at each other. Just normal things. Just Yoongi making him laugh, just Yoongi surprising him with his sweetness. Just Yoongi. Fondness wells up in him. He's so lucky to have him as a friend.

"Hey, um", Yoongi scratches behind his ear, "are you maybe free, tonight?"

Seokjin parts his lips. "Tonight?"

"Yeah, I uh, I'd like to show you something. But you'll probably be tired and would rather rest after work, I understand, it's not-"

Yoongi is rambling, his cheeks tinted a light pink, eyes hopeful and uncertain at the same time as they peek through his fringe, and it's so sweet. It pulls at all of his heartstrings.

He wants to keep this. He wants to hold on to Yoongi, to this warm, happy feeling whenever he’s with him. If it means he’ll have to pull himself together, to push his affections down a bit so as to not scare him away, then so be it. He watches as Yoongi fumbles with words, trying his best to hold back a laugh. Why is he so nervous, anyway? Like he’d ever deny him anything. Well, these past couple of weeks notwithstanding, both of them having been extra busy and then there was Seokjin’s crisis.

“Yoongichi, I’m free tonight.”

“-nother time- you’re free?”

He smiles, “Yes, please, I’d like to see what you want to show me.”

Slowly, the corners of Yoongi’s mouth lift, revealing his cute teeth and gum, eyes glittering with joy.  “Good. Good. Well.” He ducks his head bashfully.

Seokjin’s heart skips a beat. He can only take so much cuteness. “I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Great!” Kai exclaims out of nowhere, suddenly standing next to them, making them jolt. He claps into his hands once and grins widely. “It’s a date then!”

Seokjin chokes on his spit.

“It’s not-“

“No it’s-“ Seokjin and Yoongi both splutter. Oh my God, Kai! He’s gonna throttle him, if he doesn’t die of all the blood rushing into his head first.

Kai, unimpressed by their vehement yet ineloquent denial pats them both on the back, saying, “You’re both kinda useless. But Seokjin, you can make up for it by manning the counter, now, Chanyeol needs to leave early. And Yoongichi,” Kai points at him, his finger almost touching the tip of his nose. Instinctively, Seokjin swats it away. Protect Yoongi.

“Seokjin likes strawberries. Just a tip.” And then Kai winks at Yoongi again and Seokjin is this close to catching it in midair before it can hit him (really, Kai is annoying today!) but Yoongi stops him in his tracks, asking, “You do? I thought you don’t like strawberry.”

He turns back to Yoongi. “I don’t like strawberry flavoured things, but I like strawberries.”

“Oh…”

“Okay,“ Kai interrupts them once more. “You’re cute and all but I need to keep things ticking over. I’m sorry, Seokjin-“

Seokjin blushes, feeling chided. Right, his break is over, and they’re short of staff. “Right, yeah, sorry, I’m going.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry for intruding”, Yoongi bows towards Kai, “thanks for your hospitality, as always.”

“Jeez, Yoongichi, stop with the formalities. You’re not intruding at all!” Kai grins at him. “I’ve heard you cook pretty well, too. Don’t you want to quit your job and start working with us?” He throws him another wink. Okay, enough. Pushing himself between Kai and Yoongi, Seokjin leads Yoongi gently but determinedly out of the kitchen. “I think Yoongi needs to go now and I need to take over from Chanyeol.” Kai’s laughter follows them out. The restaurant is still well visited and quite full, so Yoongi pays and leaves unceremoniously, both of them wishing each other farewell with the promise to meet tonight. For their not-date. As he watches Yoongi rounding the corner of the street, he feels butterflies awaken in his belly and his pulse spiking. Not a date, he reminds himself. But his heart fluttering in his chest doesn’t listen.

Seokjin puts on non-dating make-up, non-dating clothes, non-dating perfume. Play it cool. Play it normal. Just a casual, normal outing with just Yoongi. Really, it's so casual, so laid-back he might as well wear slacks and slippers.

"Hyung," Jeongguk sniffs the air, "what's smelling so good. Is that you?"

"Woah, hyung," Namjoon stops in his tracks on his way to the kitchen, giving him a once over. "What are you wearing? Is that silk?"

Seokjin blushes. "Just, just a casual shirt for casual things! So what if it's silk!" He adds defensively.

"In what world is that shirt casual? What about those pants? And that earring?”

“Yah!” Seokjin scolds, “Are you saying you know better than hyung?! Behave, or you won’t get presents tomorrow!”

Namjoon pouts, grumbling, “At least you remember.”

“That was one time, Joon-ah!”

“Hyung, you smell really good.” Jeongguk chimes in, then proceeds to hug him, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Aah!” Seokjin cries out, trying to push his brother away. “Don’t touch my hair!” 

Namjoon snorts, “Is that casual hairstyle, too?”

“Yeah! You wanna fight?!" He threatens him with fists behind Jeongguk’s back. “Guk-ah, move, I have a bone to pick with Namjoon!”

“We shouldn’t fight. We’re brothers.” Jeongguk mumbles into his neck. “I wanna stay here.” Suddenly, he makes himself heavy as lead, almost forcing Seokjin to his knees.

“Yaaaah! Will you let me go! You’re making me sweat and I don’t want sweat stains on the shirt!” Jeongguk laughs and finally lifts his arms off him. His hands find his wrist, though, and start playing with his bracelet. “So pretty, hyung.”

“Thank you, Guk-ah, you’re a good dongsaeng.” Seokjin says, giving Namjoon a meaningful look, who just rolls his eyes in response.

“I mean you.” Jeongguk’s fingers slip from the bracelet to hold and caress his hand gently, big round eyes staring adoringly at him. “You look really good.”

His heart swells at his brother’s warm words. He’s the sweetest, bestest boy in the whole world and Seokjin will fight anyone who wants to argue.

“You do, Seokjin-hyung”, Namjoon agrees, showing his dimples. “Tell Yoongi that he’s invited, too, if you want to.”

Reddening, Seokjin pulls away from his brothers at last, walking to the door to put on his shoes. “What makes you think I’m meeting up with him?”

“Who else, hyung?”

Who else.

Just Yoongi.

He waits in the dim light in front of the garage, looking up the lane towards the mansion, wondering what Yoongi wants to show him. Oh, it’s not fishing related, is it? He isn’t dressed for that. Should he change, he thinks panicky. Is this too much? It’s too much. Who wears silk on casual non-dates, stupid. He grabs his earring self-consciously. Should he at least put that away? He looks down on himself. Oh no. This doesn’t look casual at all. This is…Yoongi will notice that something is different and then…but he dresses to impress, does he not? Oh God, this is driving him mad. His guts churn and flip while his skin tingles with nervosity.

This is worse than with Hoseok. He can't help comparing. This is worse because Seokjin actually knows Yoongi well. And Yoongi knows him. These feelings are built on a different foundation, holding up stronger, but also bearing heavier on his heart. With Hoseok, it was idealized dreams of an idealized person. It was difficult, if not impossible for Hoseok to live up to his expectations. Yoongi on the other hand...to put it simple, he exceeds expectations. He surprises him at every turn in the best way.

His heart jumps when he finally sees him walking down the lane. There he is. Cast in a warm light by the illumination from the ground he is clearly visible. He’s wearing red. Seokjin has never seen him in red before. He parts his lips, his mouth feeling dry. Red jacket, white turtle neck, black hair, glittering earrings. He has no words for this combination. Bracing himself, he watches as Yoongi comes nearer. Like a lucky cat, he thinks, tricolour, striding down its, haha, catwalk. Seokjin swallows. He wants to laugh because he's seen Yoongi waddling like a pregnant woman before, seen him cosy and lazing around with him. But this...long lithe legs striding elegantly, every step graceful and sure. The jacket shifts with the smooth motions, shimmering where the light hits metal buttons and studs. He looks powerful. His heart swoons and flips while he tries to stay calm. A blush creeps up his neck and ears, anyway.

“Seokjin-hyung.” Yoongi stops in front of him, smiling with his soft eyes.

“Yoongi-ah.” Seokjin swallows, trying to compose himself. “You look…you look good. In red.” Bashfully, Yoongi ducks his head, his cheeks tinted a lovely pink.

“You think so? Hoseok got me this.” He brushes lint off the sleeves. “I’ve never worn it before.”

“Really? He’s got good taste.”

Yoongi grimaces, “Yah, don’t say that to his face. He’ll feel vindicated in his love for mint chocolate.” Seokjin chuckles. “No, we can’t have that, can we?” Before he can stop himself, he reaches out and rubs along the sleeve of Yoongi’s jacket. “And for how long has this been hiding in your wardrobe?”

“Just a couple of years.”

“A couple of years?” His fingers run along the collar and absently, he starts smoothing it out. “What else is hiding in your wardrobe? Are you depriving us of Yoongi in colour?”

“…Maybe.”

Seokjin hums, his eyes travelling down Yoongi’s chest, following the path of his hands that brush along the hem. “Hm, now I wanna browse through it. I hope you have something pink.”

Clearing his throat, Yoongi takes a step back, moving towards his car. Seokjin follows him, noticing a little bag in his hand for the first time. “What’s in there?”

Yoongi gives him a side-glance, eyes twinkling with mirth. “You’ll see.”

“Ooh, now I’m curious!”

Flustered, Yoongi quickly shakes his head, “Ah, it’s not, it’s nothing special.”

“Is it something to eat?”

“...Hm…”

“You know, the bag is kinda see-through.” Seokjin grins as he figures out its contents.

“Is it?” Yoongi considers the bag. “It’s still a secret, though. Don’t tell Seokjin-ssi.”

“My lips are sealed.” He winks at Yoongi and is rewarded with a happy gummy smile.

“Good.”

Yoongi drives them along the coastline with the destination still a mystery to Seokjin. He doesn’t mind at all because he likes Yoongi’s surprises. They’re good. Warm, salty air drifts through the windows, accompanied by the sound of the sea. He closes his eyes to the fresh breeze, enjoying the hum of the engine, the slight curves of the road, the scent of the ocean. Yoongi talks in his low, calm voice and takes his nervousness away, almost lulling him to sleep. He blinks against the drowsiness. Bright street lights obscure the beauty of the night sky above the ocean but he can easily picture it in his mind: stars above and below, the horizon indistinguishable in the dark. You’re a vanishing dot in the universe, suspended between the deep, dark ocean and the vast firmament. Wind and waves carry you between the worlds, whispering secrets into your ear, breathing the song of the sea. You’re a vanishing dot in the universe, adrift, letting go.

“Hyung?”

He opens his eyes. Yoongi tilts his head slightly, giving him a soft smile. “We’re there.” They make their way down a little path by the coastline. On a small viewing platform, Yoongi spreads out a blanket and motions for Seokjin to sit down.

Before him, poetry comes to life. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the sea and Busan’s shores, expanding his chest with home. Then he lets it go, exhaling with it a part of himself, giving back to the universe.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”, Yoongi asks quietly.

Seokjin looks at him. Soft eyes, soft nose, soft lips. He knows this face, has learned to love it, to miss it. You’re adrift until you’re not. You let yourself be carried away until a hand catches you, anchoring you. Your eyes roam the sky in search of a guiding light until they find the one star that is it. Sometimes it’s not the bright Polaris, nor the Sun, but the unsuspected, quieter neighbouring star. And for a long time, they shine bright in your periphery until you finally turn your gaze towards them and realize.

“Gorgeous.”

Yoongi stares at him for a moment, lips slightly parted, before he turns away, fumbling with the bag. “Ah, here. Surprise.” Strawberries. It’s so endearing how Yoongi takes note of the things Seokjin likes or dislikes – of all things concerning him, really. He smiles warmly at Yoongi and takes one. Yoongi does the same and for a while, they fall into a cosy silence, enjoying the view and the fruits. Every now and then, he sneaks a peek at Yoongi and finds him doing the same. It makes his heart flip and he isn’t so sure, anymore. Is this not a date? Glad about the darkness, he feels his ears blush uncontrollably. The strawberries are delicious, perfectly ripe and sitting right between them. One more, he thinks, and then he can toss this bag aside and – and what? His heart starts racing. He doesn’t really know…he just doesn’t want anything in between them, is all. He wants him closer.

“Take the last one.”

“You take it.”

“I’m good. You take it.”

“Let’s share, then.” Seokjin proposes, picking up the strawberry and then stops to think. How do you share a strawberry? He blinks at it and swallows. Slowly, he lifts it to Yoongi’s mouth, watching pretty lips carefully enfolding the fruit as Yoongi takes a delicate bite. They make eye contact as he puts the rest into his own mouth in turn. It’s dark but Yoongi’s eyes shimmer brightly, focused on him. His heart skips a beat. He chews under Yoongi’s stare and swallows. Then he wipes a bit of juice from his lips and sucks his fingertips clean, all the while watching Yoongi following his movements with his eyes – until he looks sideways and shifts away, clearing his throat. Subconsciously, Seokjin leans towards him, entranced by Yoongi.

“Seokjin-hyung, I-“ Yoongi begins, startling Seokjin out of his reverie.

“Seokjin-hyung, I wanted to- wanted to-“ He sees Yoongi’s chest heave in sync with Seokin’s hitch of breath. “Yes?”

Yoongi casts him a side-glance, then looks away again quickly. “I, uh, it’s, uh.” He gives him another look. “It’s…”, he frowns, staring into the distance before huffing heavily, “…it’s nothing.”

No. Seokjin makes to grab his hand between them but it evades him as Yoongi bends his legs and puts his hands on his knees, rubbing them absently on the pants.

“Yoongi-“

“You know rocket science?” Seokjin blinks in confusion. “Er…”

“I’ve started reading a book about it and it’s quite interesting, you know.” What…rocket science?

“Like, it’s really nice, to read about the science of unravelling the universe’s mysteries, its deepest secrets in the farthest corners of the world. Science, you know,” Yoongi rambles on, “you look into the sky and see numbers. Like, when you watch the stars, you can decide to either read them like astrology with zodiac signs and stuff, or like actual science, seeing them as what they are, balls of gas and plasma, stripped down to facts. You can either be irrational or rational about it.” Slowly, Seokjin draws back, losing the grip on the thread of something between them. Rocket science. Mentally, he shakes his head at it. Thanks, rocket science.

“You can either decide to mull over fate written in the stars or sleep soundly. Well, it’s, it’s just a thought.”

“Just a thought.”

“Yeah. Don’t, don’t you agree?”

“…Yeah…Rocket science…is a smart thing.”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, it’s a smart thing.”

Seokjin’s heart sinks as he returns his gaze to the sky above. Rocket science…obviously, he isn’t the smart type. He sees stars and wonders, which one has his name written on its heart. He sees stars and asks them where his soulmate is and how he’s ever going to meet him when the world spins and the moon and stars keep flying in their celestial orbits while he feels stuck as Seokjin. He glances at Yoongi and wonders, has he not found him, already?

He jolts slightly when Yoongi puts his head on his shoulder, shifting closer. Instinctively, he leans into the warmth and familiar scent of him. He hears a quiet yawn followed by a soft sigh. Someone is tired. Oh, Yoongichi.

His heart throbs with fondness, with love, with hurt. Is he imagining things? Is this one-sided (again)? For a moment, he thought that Yoongi may be feeling the same, but why isn’t he saying anything? Why does he draw back when Seokjin leans closer. Emotions well up in him as he loses sight of the stars in the sky, his focus fixed on the one by his side. He takes a deep breath. “Yoongi-ah.” He gnaws on his lips, his heart beating faster. “Yoongi-ah, I-“ He glances down and stops in his tracks. Yoongi is asleep, his breathing coming in deep inhalations and soft, slow huffs. “Yoongi-ah?” No response. Dejected, he sighs. Why is this so difficult. He just wants – he just wants Yoongi, the Normal they have, and then maybe something more. His gaze drops down to his lips. They’ll probably taste like strawberry, now. He doesn’t like strawberry flavour but he wouldn’t mind at all in this case. Carefully, he leans down. The angle is awkward, yet he thinks he could make it work. He parts his lips with racing heart and tilts his head some more. Just a bit, just a brush, a breath. He doesn’t want much, just, just a little taste to sleep better at night. Make the stars more rational. He can feel Yoongi’s soft breathing ghosting his lips, can almost smell strawberry, almost savour it.

He stops a breath away. With a trembling hand he brushes a strand of hair from Yoongi’s forehead. How Yoongi hasn’t woken up from his loud heartbeat, yet, he doesn’t know. Gently, he buries his nose in his hair and inhales, closing his eyes. He understands now, what it means to wish to hold a star. You bathe in the radiance of one for so long you desire to close the last gap. He plants a tender kiss on his head before straightening and looks at the sky.

You’re a small dot in the universe and vanishing, until you catch a spark, too. Each star begins as a dot, one soul, one heart, one insignificant light. It grows through time and becomes most impressive when it starts leaving its orbit to collide with another, drawn together by gravity. It’s a star’s nature to shine, and an innate desire to consume and fuse with another to expand like the universe itself. Leaning his head on Yoongi’s he thinks, he doesn’t need him to know his place and to feel validated, but he loves the way he rearranges his universe and shows him a whole new world, the way he elevates him to new realms, making his imaginations seem colourless in comparison. He feels gravity pulling at his heart, tugging it towards its centre, towards Yoongi.

Let me love you, Yoongi-ah, let me build a galaxy for you, too.

Chapter Text

Namjoon trudges down the stairs, wondering where his brother is. From the window, he’s seen the Aston Martin driving up to the mansion a while ago, he thinks that he’s seen Yoongi leaving the car (alone) and going into the house without, well, without waiting for Seokjin or something (a kiss goodnight?). Meh. And then the car was moving towards the garage. He isn’t spying or anything. He’s just curious (what the hell is taking them so long for Christ’s sake). Tonight is not the night, it seems. Well. Where then is Seokjin? In the garage, he spots the Aston Martin immediately. There’s his brother in the driver’s seat hitting his head against the wheel again and again. Déja-vu. A glitch in the matrix. Shaking his head, he walks to the passenger’s side and opens the door to climb in. Seokjin spares him a glance before resting his temple on the wheel, facing the other side.

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

He grumbles something incoherently.

“Shall I guess?”

Sighing, Seokjin turns his head and pouts woefully at him. “I’m in love.”

“Old news, Seokjin-hyung.” Namjoon doesn’t even roll with his eyes.

Seokjin grimaces and whines, “With Yoongi” before facing the other side again, head still heavy on the wheel with his shoulders sagged around it.

Old News! Namjoon wants to scream at him, but he’s a nice brother. To each their own pace, you know. Namjoon struggles in the kitchen, Seokjin struggles with love. He decides to tell him what he’d like to hear when cooking.

“Heyy, that’s great! Well done figuring it out!” Cheer him on until he gets time-out for breaking stuff. “Have you told him?”

Seokjin turns his head again, now scowling at Namjoon.

"I haven't. I couldn't."

"Ah. I think you should tell him." Seokjin keeps staring at him unhappily. "You know, just say you like him." He smiles encouragingly. "It's not rocket science-"

And that sets rapper Seokjin off. He sends him a dirty look, eyebrows drawn together, a deep flush creeping up his neck and face.

"Oh, don't come at me with fucking rocket science as if you've studied bloody Einsteinium physics mc to the power of two I'll bloody show you mc to the power of two with my fist who invented rockets anyway and don't you dare write about stars as balls of plasma or I'll throw your book at your head so hard you'll see fucking balls of plasma in your face you rocket science enthusiast don't ever mention rocket science ever again!" Wow, someone is triggered by rocket science. Namjoon frowns. Science deserves better.

"Hyung. Don't let it out on science."

"Yaaaaahh!" Frustrated, Seokjin leans back in his seat and closes his eyes, sighing heavily. “I’m surrounded by idiots”, he mumbles, then adds, “I’m in love with an idiot.”

“You’re an idiot, too, you know.”

“…Does that mean Yoongi and I match?”

“A dream team.”

Seokjin sighs again. "Do you think...he likes me back?" And that sets Namjoon off. He knows that look on his brother and he hates it. Insecure, self-doubting, sad. This amazing person deserves the world and yet he lets himself be dragged down by idiots time and again. First Hoseok, now Yoongi. He wants to hit them. They don’t know what they got with Seokjin.

“I’m sure he does, Seokjin-hyung. Have you seen him looking at you?” Seokjin blushes to his ears as he considers Namjoon’s response. Casting his eyes down, he says, “It’s just…I don’t think I can take another heartbreak, Joon-ah.” He heaves heavily. “When Umma died…when Appa died…” Seokjin lifts his gaze, staring out of the window with a faraway look and creased eyebrows. Namjoon frowns.

“When, when things didn’t work out with Hoseok…I know it sounds dumb, that I’d compare a lost crush to a parent’s death, I know, I know, but…I don’t know if I’m just too weak or pathetic. But every time it felt like a chunk of my heart was being ripped out. And it hurt so much. And it was so hard to keep on smiling.” Oh, Seokjin. “And with Yoongi,” Seokjin’s breath hitches, “with Yoongi, it would be worse, I can feel it.”

For a moment, Namjoon just regards Seokjin, letting his words sink in. It’s always hit Seokjin the hardest. The eldest sibling in a family always carries a special kind of burden, and the best of them are self-sacrificing to a fault. How many times has Seokjin smiled through tears and sorrow? How many times has he laughed extra loud to cheer them up? How many times has he swallowed down his own needs to give them comfort? His brother hides his troubles well and barely ever talks about his struggles, so Namjoon can only guess. Home is Seokjin, who gives too much of himself, who loves too deeply, who takes so little. The bigger the heart, the easier to get hurt. If Yoongi messes up with Seokjin, Namjoon thinks hotly, there’s going to be real murder on Busan’s horizon.

He puts his hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and says seriously. “Hyung, you’re not pathetic, and you’re not weak. You’re the strongest person I know. You just love too deeply and that makes you vulnerable.” He squeezes his shoulder. “It takes a lot of courage and strength to show vulnerability.” Seokjin gives him a lopsided smile. “You twist words so nicely. Doesn’t change the fact that it hurts.”

Leaning closer, Namjoon looks sternly at him. “Listen. You’re going to tell Yoongi how you feel about him and if his answer is shit, Jeongguk and I will talk to him.”

“Yah, don’t! What are you going to say to him? If he doesn’t- if he’s not-“ Seokjin swallows, shrugging his shoulders. “He’s still a good person. Don’t be mean to him.”
Sighing, Namjoon drops his hand from him, his lips pressed into a thin line. Hopeless.

“Anyway, is he coming tomorrow?”

“Ah, no, he sends his regards, but he’s got to attend another of those social events or whatever.”

“Hm.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “I’ll, I’ll tell him. I’m going to tell him.” Namjoon gives him one last critical looks then huffs and smiles at him. “That’s the spirit. Now, come on, it’s late.”

“Yeah.”

He sleeps fitfully and his dreams are full of hearts, stars and Yoongi. Of porcelain cups, spilled tea, of crushed strawberries staining his shirt red where his heart is. It hammers wildly when he wakes up and the restless feeling follows him throughout the day, thoughts of Yoongi consuming him. He gets off work earlier to prepare Namjoon’s birthday dinner with Jeongguk. It’s nice, it’s fun. Their little birthday party distracts him, making him relax for the first time after hours of agitation. But when they put away the dishes, getting ready for going out for drinks with Namjoon’s friends, he finds himself at a tipping point, fit to bursting. He can’t hold it back, anymore. Almost twenty-four hours since he’s seen Yoongi, and it’s unbearable. Almost another twenty-four hours gone without telling him, showing him what he means to him, without knowing whether Yoongi likes him back that way. It’s unbearable. Heartache spreads through his body, becoming somatic. It’s harder to breathe, harder to calm his pulse. His eyes keep straying in the direction of the mansion, his whole body turning like the needle of a compass, pointing towards its north pole. Fingers thrum restlessly, limbs ache to get moving, to close the distance, and his heart yearns and yearns.

“Hyung? You coming?” Namjoon stands in the door to his room, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Seokjin lets out a shuddering breath, “I think,” he shakes his head slightly, “I need-“

Namjoon catches on quickly, his questioning eyes turning understanding. “Are you alright? Do you need-“

He shakes his head once more, determination settling in him. “No, I’ll be fine.” His heart starts racing as butterflies flutter in his stomach. “I’ll-“ he can’t help glancing at the mansion, feeling an unrelenting tug at his whole being. Finally, he looks back at Namjoon with wide eyes. “I want him, Namjoon. I want him.” He repeats more emphatically. “I’m sorry, it’s your birthday, but-“

Namjoon waves him off with a dimpled smile, “Nah, don’t be! I loved the dinner. And we’ll manage drinking without you, don’t worry. Are you going to-?”

“Yeah. Yes.”

His brother grins widely, “Good luck, then!”

Seokjin smiles softly, “Thanks. And you, have fun.”

Soon after his brothers leave, he puts on his shoes, ready to go, too. He’s actually not sure where to find Yoongi. Is he on his way to the party already? He thinks to check the garage for his car first before going to the mansion, but then he stops. Silly. Taking out his phone, he makes to open the chat when a new message comes in. He frowns at it.

Twenty hours and some, and Yoongi is done. He can’t carry on like this. Twenty hours since he’s seen Seokjin, since he’s tried to tell him twice in just one day. This is driving him crazy. He’s done. What’s holding him back, he wonders for the nth time, what what what. There comes a moment when you can’t keep a secret, a truth to yourself anymore, because trapped inside, it multiplies, spreading through every cell of your body, winning mass, condensing until there’s no room left, no way to expand but to the outside. Sooner or later, you will break under its load. Are you ready then, are you ever ready for baring yourself to the whole world? The thing is, it hurts just as much to realign your cells time and again for a truth untold.

He finds himself watching the hands of his clock ticking in his office. Now he’s missed dinner, now the start of the party. He doesn’t care. It hits him hard in this quiet moment, the truth, his deepest desire. He wants Seokjin, more than anything. More than his job, his money, the comfort of his family and home. He wants him in his life, by his side when the sun rises and sets, when the stars shine in the sky and sink in the ocean. He wants his scent in the air he breathes, his laughter in the sounds reaching his ear, his smile touching his eyes and his skin when his day is clouded. He wants him more than life, and he wants him to know this. Seokjin deserves to know, to understand, that he’s special, wonderful. That he blows his mind and shows him new horizons every moment they’re together. That he means the world to Yoongi.

He lets out a shuddering breath, feeling a tingle throughout his body, from his heart to his fingertips – filled to the brim with hope and yearning, his skin taut over a mass of emotions that cannot be contained any longer. Before he knows it, his feet carry him out of his office, then further on to the front door, driven by his heart. You make me so happy. Let me give you the world, too.

He walks down the lane towards the garage, his eyes searching for the windows of Seokjin’s room. But the apartment is dark. Right, it’s Namjoon’s birthday, they had plans…before he can stop to think where to find Seokjin he hears a familiar windshield laughter. A surge of fondness overcomes him. Maybe he and his brothers haven’t left, yet? But as he follows the sound, he actually moves away from the garage and towards the garden.

He stops before a certain tree. This close, he can hear low voices talking beyond the wall, too far away to distinguish, but something twists inside him. He touches the bark, rough and old beneath his hand, listening on. His feet find a low branch, his other hand another one to carry his weight. Slowly, he starts climbing up the tree with trepidation. A last glance down to his feet to make sure he’s standing safely, then he braces himself and lifts his eyes.

Around the pool, soft lights illuminate the small house, the bushes, touching the water just so that it still reflects the stars and the moon like precious pearls sunken in the depths of the sea. Wind ruffles through the leaves and shakes the petals of the roses, blowing towards the ocean, making the waves sound faint and drowning out the giggle and conversation below.

Yoongi blinks at the sight. He blinks again and again. Maybe it’s just a trick of the lights and will be gone the next time he opens his eyes. He blinks again, now to get rid of the blur settling in. It doesn’t help.

By the pool house, Seokjin stands relaxed and giggling, drinking champagne from a flute with Hoseok. He looks gorgeous as ever, dressed up and hair styled back – like on a date. And Hoseok – he can’t look at him for too long. Seokjin and Hoseok – highlighted, clear in the open while around him everything darkens, his world crumbling down piece by piece, then all at once. There’s a hole in his chest where his heart dropped the moment he set his eyes on them. And still, the cavity throbs painfully, its hollowness filling him quickly, pressing against the walls of his lungs, his vessels, squeezing them empty of air and life. The bark cuts into his skin but he doesn’t feel it. All he takes in is Seokjin laughing, blushing, smiling bashfully while sipping champagne with Hoseok in his space who giggles and chatters, touching his shoulder, clinking their glasses – who leans closer and closer.

Yoongi gasps as he loses the ground – or the branch – under his feet, slipping painfully down the tree as his hands try to hold on, braking the fall. Somehow, he lands on his feet, but his hands are bloody. It doesn’t matter. He feels nothing – he feels everything – he feels numb, from head to toe, consumed by misery. How do you breathe after this? How do you keep going? He doesn’t know, yet his body works on its own, taking sharp, searing breaths, putting one foot in front of the other, away from this, from them – from Seokjin. He tastes salt on his lips. With trembling hands, he rubs at his cheeks, but they keep wetting as he stumbles half blind towards the mansion, blinking through his tears.

Like wading through quick sand he struggles to calm his breath, to get his limbs to move properly, to keep his panic at bay – like wading through quick sand, it’s impossible. You just sink deeper the more you flail. Still, he finds himself back in his office, staring into the dark, empty void of his room. Seokjin. Seokjin.

Seokjin.

Slowly, he sinks to the ground with his back against the door. He’s so tired. He’s been running a marathon around Seokjin…a relay race with his heart as a baton. He’s been running and running extra rounds, too scared to pass it on at the wrong time and letting it fall – too scared to pass it on at all. Now, when he finally dares to, it’s dropped. Just like that. What has he been running for? Was it worth this trouble? His heart, dropped cold on the track, trampled over, left in the dust – by Hoseok, his own brother who overtakes him nonchalantly, reaching Seokjin before him. Hoseok, who’s engaged, promised to another, supposedly in love with Jimin. Yoongi sniffs, pressing his palms against his eyes. No, he’d never, he said so himself. He knows his brother…doesn’t he?...He thought he knew him. He thought he knew Seokjin. Surely it’s just a misunderstanding. Yoongi’s not seeing straight, he’s missing something here. Yet he recalls the past weeks, during which Jimin has been absent and Hoseok has been conspicuous, always…always trying to tell him something, mentioning Seokjin one too many times. And Seokjin…he’s been cancelling their evenings, subtly, repeatedly, but it’s glaring, now, his flustered behaviour, the way he seemed to avoid him. It all adds up. Yoongi nearly chokes on the realization.

Seokjin and Hoseok have a secret affair and Yoongi has been so blind.

He presses his hands harder against his eyes until he sees stars, trying to keep it together, to hold back his tears. He’s such an idiot. He’s such an idiot.

He shudders heavily as a sob escapes him, ringing loud in the silence, and then another, and another. It feels like loss, bitter and grievous, paralyzing.

He can’t. He can’t take this, anymore. This rollercoaster of emotions, this weed that is hope that grows and regrows persistently, taking roots in his heart, that when it’s pulled out, tears out a chunk of his heart along with it. He gnaws at his knee to stifle his cry, his arms wrapped tight around his tense body. He can’t take it, anymore. He’s tried. He’s hoped.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed while he sits there pitifully, just being his pathetic, his lonely pathetic self. What now? Things can’t go back to normal…he can’t go back to normal. Hoseok is unfaithful this close to the wedding. What’s keeping him from staying unfaithful even in marriage? No, this wedding cannot take place. It’d be wrong and unfair to so many people, most of all to Jimin. Does he know? Has he actually left for other reasons than visiting his grandmother?

This wedding cannot, will not take place. His heart sinks lower and lower. The merger will not take place. This is such a mess. All the tedious work he put into the realization of this goddamn merger, for naught. It’ll look bad for them. They’ll lose money and face. For fuck’s sake, Hoseok. For a second, annoyance overrides his sorrows, the kind he’s familiar with when it comes to business. And how does he solve this problem? He bites his nails, his tears dried up at last as his mind finds a distraction, a different focus from the hurt, desperately holding on to it.

The Jung-Park-merger is lost. The money and energy they invested to make the transition possible are, too. And it’ll be a stain on the Jung’s name. How does he solve this? He can’t help feeling partly responsible, being the CEO, being family – he feels a pang in his chest as he remembers his initial silly, fruitless plans to save the merger by distracting Seokjin from Hoseok. He shouldn’t have – if this is the outcome, then he could have saved himself a lot of trouble and heartache. Alas, here he is with empty hands. Can’t he offer anything in compensation? CEO he is, yet he feels so useless. Can’t keep it together. Can’t keep his brother in line, can’t save the merger. Can’t can’t can’t.

Can’t be with Seokjin the way he wants to. His breath hitches. Don’t think about it. Don’t don’t don’t. Get a grip. Get a grip.

Getting up, he walks to his desk, letting his eyes stray over his things, looking for inspiration. He taps at his phone, seeing two missed calls from Miyoung. She’s probably wondering where he is. Miyoung. How is she going to react? A wedding, all planned out and paid for. Her reputation, stained yet again…she deserves better, too. He doesn’t want to disappoint her but he doesn’t know…his eyes drift over a dark blue envelope between a stack of papers. He pulls it out from under the documents. The last time, he’s read it quickly, then cast it aside carelessly, not bothering to give it a second thought. He’s always liked Jang Dahye, but not in that way, and he’s pretty sure she doesn’t either. Now, though, the letter sits in his hand glaringly. A formal request from the Jangs to consider a marriage with their daughter. A bit unusual. Does it matter, though, he’s already given them his answer a while ago, politely declined…what if, though. What if…he replaces a merger for another. What if he marries in Hoseok’s stead. It would give the Jungs some peace, and he’d have amended all of his mistakes, done his duty to the family and company. He turns the letter, his eyes dropping to the address. Seoul. The Jangs, Dahye, are in Seoul, now.

Seoul.

He’s never really gotten properly acquainted with Seoul. Here and there a business trip, a night out for drinks. Seoul. There’s a small, cosy restaurant run by an elderly woman who’s weak for dad jokes. There’s that park where you can watch grass grow amidst all the hectic city life. There’s an artist called Vante with Agust D in his pocket. He stares listlessly out of the window. All the things he knows about Seoul – all he cares about Seoul – are those concerning Seokjin. Seoul.

Seokjin was happy there.

Maybe Yoongi can be happy there, too.

It pierces his heart. Leaving home. But he cannot stay here. These walls, the ocean, Busan’s sky. Seokjin has seeped into every corner of his life yet subtracts himself from the equation, throwing the laws and physics of Yoongi’s world. He cannot breathe here. Cannot think, cannot live, cannot stay. He walks over to the closet.

Today, he’s reminded again why he’s kept a distance to Seokjin all these years. Yoongi’s a fighter in business, in life – but in this he’s weak, so embarrassingly vulnerable. He grabs his emergency backpack for business trips on short notice – containing a change of clothes and toiletries. At his desk, he rummages around in the drawer, searching for his wallet and charger. His heart begins to race as his hands start trembling. He cannot stay here. He cannot look at Seokjin and pretend everything is fine. He cannot face Seokjin’s and Hoseok’s happiness at the cost of his own. It’s heartbreaking. Tears start welling up in his eyes again. He tries to blink them away, frustrated as he cannot find his damn charger immediately. Fuck it. He doesn’t need his phone, anyway. He makes two calls, shoves the letter hastily into his notebook and throws it into his backpack along with his wallet and phone and stalks out, almost running down the lane towards the gate. He walks a few minutes until he spots his taxi, climbing in. He’s aware that he’s also leaving his car behind, but he isn’t fit to drive.

“To the airport.” As they get in motion, he casts one look back. Somewhere behind him is the Jung estate and the ocean. It’s not so difficult to leave the place. But home is the people you gladly surround yourself with and love is half and half. It feels like his heart is forever torn and he’s leaving a part of it behind.

Chapter Text

He stares at the Aston Martin for a moment, torn because he longs to see Yoongi now, but he also desires to know what Hoseok wants from him at the same time. In the end, curiosity wins and he finds himself rushing to the garden. Make it quick, then.

Rose bushes, the glittering pool, the pool house. Symbols of constant, unrequited longing. A dream of days past. He remembers when he walked down this path with his heart in his throat and eyes only for Hoseok, when he drove him crazy with champagne and kisses, making him feel so good it hurt and scared him.

And he remembers the first time when he was here. When he sat waiting hopefully and then was disappointed. When he looked up and saw just Yoongi.

Just Yoongi.

His heart throbs at the thought of him. Yoongi. Back then, he was unreadable, so cautious and distant around him. And still, he reached out to him, warm and comforting.

Under the stars, they had their first of many dances together. Thinking back, it was lovely. Not an explosion of pent up emotions, neither fireworks nor a crash and burn. No. It was a moment with Yoongi. Warm and soft and safe. Making acquaintance of his arms around him. Yoongi’s embrace that he’s come to love, that he never wants to leave again.

“Seokjin!” Hoseok stands in front of the house, wearing shorts and a simple white shirt, waving enthusiastically with a dimpled smile. Seokjin can’t help smiling, too. It’s astounding, how time can heal your wounds, and how new love can lighten the past, when you thought nothing could ever make you feel okay again. He’s glad that he can look at him now without regrets, so glad that they didn’t go further than kissing and that his mistakes and heartbreaks led him to Yoongi in a way.

“Hoseok.”

Hoseok looks him over with kind, twinkling eyes. “Gorgeous as ever, I see.” Blushing, Seokjin scratches his neck. “Thank you.” Then he grins and dares a wink, “Though this isn’t for you.”

“Ah!” Hoseok clutches his heart, “Always so mercilessly honest.” He snorts. Hoseok is so…he doesn’t know if he should feel offended and angry with him for what’s happened between them. He isn’t sure who was at fault – maybe both of them. But he can’t bring himself to hate him or be upset with him, now. It just is, and he doesn’t care to spare the energy to lose more thoughts and sleep over Hoseok. And he thinks this is good. Freeing. Hoseok isn’t perfect, Seokjin isn’t perfect and both of them make mistakes, that’s just human. Some things can be forgiven, and it feels good to make peace.

“Hoseok, what-“

“Ah.” Hoseok clears his throat, adapting a serious look. “Seokjin. Thank you for coming. You’re probably wondering why I asked you to meet me here. And since you seem to have plans, I’ll get to the point.” Suddenly, Hoseok bows deep before Seokjin.

“I apologize sincerely for how I’ve treated you, Seokjin. I’ve been inconsiderate and thoughtless towards your feelings and I’m very sorry. Please forgive me.”

Perplexed, Seokjin gapes at him, then splutters and flails, “Ah, Hoseok- this, this isn’t necessary, it’s- ah, it’s alright- please.” At his touch, Hoseok straightens, eyes still sharp and stern. “It is necessary. You deserved better and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Embarrassed and reddening, Seokjin looks to the side. This is really not necessary…

“I’ve been thinking how to make it up to you. I thought about dinners and amusement parks and bungee jumping-“ Oh my God. “-but I figured you’d prefer something less grand. So,” He whips out two flutes from behind his back and passes one to Seokjin, then rummages in a duffle bag by his feet, taking out a bottle of sprite. Seokjin raises his eyebrows at him while Hoseok grins widely, pouring each of them a drink. “If you’ll forgive me and do me the honour, I’d like to make a toast.”

“A toast? With – soda?”

“Nothing like sprite,” Hoseok winks at him, “besides, champagne is for lovers only.” Seokjin blushes further. Hoseok raises his glass. “Seokjin. I hope you can see past our mistakes – mine being mistreating you, and yours maybe falling for the wrong guy – and accept this offer of friendship. Let us start anew. No more rose-coloured glasses and” Hoseok’s eyes twinkle with mirth, “no homo.”

At that, Seokjin bursts out laughing. He wipes his eyes, still chuckling, “Forgiven”, and clinks their glasses, “and accepted.” Hoseok giggles joyfully. “Wonderful. To Seok-Seok of Busan! So who’s Seok1 and who’s Seok2?”

“…You can call me hyung, how about that.” Hoseok beams at him. “Seokjin-hyung!” Seokjin shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear while sipping his drink. Hoseok’s still Hoseok. A ball of sunshine you can’t help welcoming in your life, even if it’s burned you once or twice.

“So,” Hoseok says, leaning in and wiggling his eyebrows. “Seokjin-hyung. What are you all dressed up for, hm?”

Seokjin blushes at the proximity. “Ah, I was going to go out for drinks. It’s Namjoon’s birthday.” Frowning, Hoseok tilts his head thoughtfully. “Oh right, no driver tonight.” Somehow, he looks disappointed.

“Er, I’m sorry, your drivers are indisposed, tonight?”

“Ack,” he waves with his hand, “not at all. I was just hoping for a different answer.”

Seokjin gives him a questioning look. “What kind of answer?” For a second, Hoseok looks obstipated with his lips pressed in a tight line, his dimpled cheeks round, nose flared. Red creeps up his neck, his face, his ears, but before he actually puffs smoke from his orifices, he drops a heavy hand on his shoulder and bores his eyes into Seokjin’s. Uh-oh, what now?

“I give up. Seokjin-hyung. Are you not seeing Yoongi?”

Seokjin splutters, blushing hard. “I- uh, I-“

“Did you eat the chocolate ice cream in the snack kitchen?”

“I- uh, erm, I-“

“Have you been on more than one fishing date with Yoongi?”

“Er, I-“

“Can I maybe for once get a proper answer from either of you concerning your relationship status? You’re robbing me of my sleep.”

“I- uh- oh, did, did you hear that?”

Hoseok snips his fingers in front of his face. “Focus, Seokjin-hyung.” Oh my God.

Utterly flustered, Seokjin stammers, “We, ah, we’re not- no. Just, just friends?”

Hoseok looks at him sceptically. “Just friends? Don’t you want more?” Seokjin wants to sink into the ground, oh God.

“Because I’m sure Yoongi wants kids and a dog with you-“ Seokjin chokes on air, “I can see it in his eyes! (Because unlike him, I can read between the lines, ha!)”

Hoseok chugs the rest of his soda, then smacks his lips in satisfaction before filling both of their glasses to the brim once more.

“Listen, Seokjin-hyung, my friend,” here he beams at him, “I have an idea. Why don’t you go to him right now and tell him that you want him – you do want him, don’t you? – and then he’ll say yes, he wants you, too and then you can text me telling me that he said yes and I can sleep in peace? Easy, huh? Kind of like rocket science, you know-“ Oh, for Einstein’s sake, can these idiots stop referring to goddamn rocket science it’s like a curse.

“-you can either calculate how to build a rocket and mull over how they work-“

“Yes, yes, I know!”

“-or you can stop thinking and just ask!”

“Yes, fantastic.” He officially hates rocket science.

Hoseok laughs and pats his shoulder, then takes a sip from his soda while his hand somehow wanders down, patting his chest, then rubbing it.

“Hoseok.”

“Hm?...Ah.” With a last pat Hoseok drops his hand and flashes a bright, dimpled grin. “Can’t help appreciating. Nice shirt.” Seokjin clears his throat. “Well, I better get going then-“

“Oh, yes! Go go! If he hasn’t left, yet, he’s probably in his office.” Hoseok winks at him, then checks his Rolex. “Thinking of, I should get going, too. Oh,” He puts his glass down and grabs his duffle bag and tennis racket from the ground. “I need to get dressed. It’s a fine line between being fashionably late and making-Umma-angry late, you know.”

“Uh-“

“Oh, just leave the flute here, I’ll put it away later. Hey, hyung,” Pulling the strap over his shoulder, Hoseok smiles at him softly. It’s not his usual bright and blinding grin, yet it seems warmer and hits deeper. “Thank you for giving me a chance to apologize. And good luck with Yoongi! Please be patient with him, he can be a bit of idiot sometimes, but he’s really amazing and soft and just needs lots of hugs and handholding!” With that, Hoseok salutes him before rushing off. Seokjin blinks after him, a bit overwhelmed by Hoseok’s everything, reeling from his words. He stares at his half full glass. He needs lots of hugs and handholding. A tingling thrill takes over Seokjin, joy and anticipation bubbling up in him like the gas in his drink. Yes, he thinks smiling, I’ll give him all the hugs and handholding he wants.

By the time he makes it to the front door of the mansion, though, the housekeeper tells him that Yoongi’s left already. “He was in quite a hurry. Just passed me without a word.” She shrugs. “Do you need anything, dear? Would you like to wait for him? Though, it might get late…”

“Ah, no, thank you, halmeoni. Good night.”

“Good night, Seokjin-ssi.”

He bows to her and leaves, somewhat deflated. Did he actually miss him in this short time that he’s talked to Hoseok? But his Aston Martin is still there. He stops and stares down the row of cars. Hoseok’s convertible is gone...he must have left, too. Maybe Yoongi met him and they drove together? Maybe he went together with his parents. Maybe…he takes out his phone, his fingers hovering over the keyboard uncertainly. Should he text him? Should he call him? And say what? He blushes as his heart palpitates. He wants- he just wants to see him, here, now, to talk to him, to tell him, to hug him. He bites his lips, lowering his phone as he looks around in the empty garage. Why is the timing so off? He huffs, feeling like this way, the rocket will never get started, let alone land on the moon. Oh no, he’s adapting the idiot language, too, it’s contagious.

Should he wait for him here? In any case, he doesn’t want to go to bed, yet, feeling too restless. So he changes into slacks and sweater and makes himself comfortable on the steps with a hot cup of tea, watching the stars, listening to the ocean in the distance. He closes his eyes, imagining Yoongi by his side, warm and cosy and sweet. He’d probably rather be here than at a boring party. He’d talk nonsense about the stars, hum lowly into his cup, maybe fall asleep with it pressed against his mouth.

His lips would taste like strawberry and tea…

Seokjin dozes off, almost dropping his mug. Yawning, he gets up and stretches his limbs. He lets his eyes drift over the cars listlessly, pausing as they land on the Aston Martin. Without thinking, he walks towards it and opens the back door, hesitating for a moment before taking a seat. He runs his fingers over the leather and takes a deep breath. A bit of Yoongi.

How can he miss him so much when he’s just seen him barely a day ago? He sighs. Slowly, he sinks deeper into the seat, his eyes falling shut.

He jolts awake at the loud ringing of his phone. What- huh? With hammering heart he sits up and searches for his phone. Kai it reads before the call ends abruptly. He checks the time. 9 am. Three unread messages from Kai. Oh no, he overslept. Looking around he realizes that he’s slept in the car the whole night. Oh jeez. And he missed everyone coming home, his brothers, the Jungs, most of all Yoongi. Huffing, he rubs his eyes. It's unsatisfactory. He can't wait, anymore. Yoongi should be in his office right now. He's done postponing and sends Kai a short message excusing himself from work for not feeling well. Then he hurries upstairs to wash up. He doesn't run into either of his brothers with Namjoon probably sleeping in and Jeongguk in school, already. With fluttering heart he makes his way to Yoongi's office.

"Good morning, Jisoo!"

Yoongi's secretary looks up with the receiver held between shoulder and ear, hands shuffling papers hastily. "Seokjin! – A moment, please- yes-“ She covers the receiver with her palm and addresses Seokjin.  “Ah, he isn’t here.”

Seokjin stops in his tracks, hand hovering over the handle. “He isn’t? But it’s…” He looks at the clock on the wall. On any other day, Yoongi’d be working already. As Jisoo turns her attention back to the phone call he opens the door to make sure. Indeed, all he sees is an empty office. Yoongi’s not here.

“-I’m very sorry. Yes, he will.” Behind him, Jisoo ends the call before hurrying towards him.

“Seokjin!”

He turns to look at her. “Jisoo…Do you know where he is?” She stares back at him with near desperation in her eyes, huffing, “I don’t know, he just- he called me this morning saying he won’t be coming to work. He didn’t say why but he asked for the address of the Jangs. The Jangs – they’re in Seoul.”

Seoul?

Jisoo shrugs, wringing her hands. “I asked him why he’d need it and where he was but he wouldn’t tell me. And when I was nagging too much he just grumbled he’d find out by himself and ended the call. It’s a mess, he’s got a full schedule! I’ve spent all morning cancelling meetings.” Seokjin frowns at her, not believing her words. What’s she implying? That Yoongi’s in “Seoul? You mean- Yoongi’s in Seoul now?” What…he didn’t tell Seokjin about any plans in Seoul. Confused, he asks, “And who’re the Jangs?”

“Business partners, though why he’d need to spontaneously visit them out of the blue escapes me.” His heart drops as they look at each other helplessly.

“He left yesterday evening…” Seokjin murmurs.

“What? Do you know anything?”

Shaking his head, he recalls his conversation with the housekeeper. “No, I wanted to see him, but the housekeeper told me I just missed him. I thought he left for the party…”

Jisoo furrows her eyebrows. “Did something happen?” He thinks for a moment, but comes up with nothing. The night before, Yoongi was doing well. Nothing seemed to be troubling him…except for stars and science, maybe. “I don’t know.” Taking out his phone, he’s about to send a message, but then decides to call him. It goes straight to his voicemail. He stares at his phone, feeling lost. Suddenly, he’s scared. What’s going on? Where’s Yoongi? What happened to him?

“Seokjin…”

He looks over the office again, searching for clues, for anything when his eyes land on something on the floor by the desk. A few steps later, he picks up a little notebook with a blue envelope sticking out.

“Oh…” Next to him, he sees recognition on Jisoo’s face. His heart starts pounding. “What?”

She blushes and looks guiltily at him before grabbing the notebook. “Nothing.” He gapes at her. She’s such a bad liar.

“Jisoo- what, what’s going on?”

“Uh, nothing! Did- did something happen between you two?”

“What do you mean? Just tell me!” She tries for an innocent look while hiding the book behind her back. Losing his patience, he surges forward and wrings the notebook out of her hands.

“Wait- don’t! It’s private!”

“Private? So why do you seem to know more than you should if it’s private?” Holding it high so she cannot reach for it, he flips through the book. It’s all in Yoongi’s handwriting, black ink on white. And then there’s the letter.

“Because I have to sort through his bloody mail, that’s my job!”

“So what’s this letter then?” He asks, but looking at her, he has a bad feeling about the answer.

“It’s- private. I thought he’s thrown it away, already- don’t read it!”

He stares at the envelope. A letter from the Jangs from Seoul. To Min Yoongi. Tension rises in him, his chest heaving with his breaths.

“Jisoo. I’m going to read this, unless you tell me what you know.” Behind them, Jisoo’s phone starts ringing. She takes a step towards her desk, then turns back to him, torn and unsure. With a huff she starts, “It’s probably just a misunderstanding. It doesn’t make any sense, you know?” She glances nervously at the phone again. In the end, she ignores it, giving in to his imploring look. He’s desperate for an answer.

“This,” She points at the letter, then sighs resignedly, “is a formal marriage proposal.”

His world stops. “What?”

“The Jangs have a daughter and an interest in merging business with the Jungs. The usual stuff.” Seokjin walks backwards until he can lean against the desk. “What?”

“So why would he run to Seoul now and asks specifically for the Jangs’ address? I don’t know. Seokjin, this letter seems suggestive but that doesn’t make any sense!” The ringing has stopped. “I mean, he likes, he likes you.” He stares at her as her words fall flat in the empty room. He likes you. It sounds hollow and weightless in the face of the fact that Yoongi’s in Seoul on his way to…what? To finalize the proposal? It hurts to think about it. Yeah, it doesn’t make sense because just two nights ago, they had a moment, and he was so ready. But ‘he likes you’ doesn’t make sense, either. Why would he leave him like this if he liked him? Without a word, without a goodbye, turning off his phone and with all the clues telling him that he wants to marry someone else? In Seoul, of all places. Is this a bad joke? Did he do anything wrong? Did he plan this? Were those social events actually dates with his wife-to-be? If marrying Jang is what he wants – has he ever truly shown his heart to Seokjin? He feels a pang in his chest. He thought they didn’t have secrets between each other. He thought they’d trust each other with everything. He blinks at the book in his hand. He loves Yoongi and thought he maybe loved him back.

Trembling, he straightens and pushes away from the desk, making his way out.

“Seokjin, what are you going to do?” His grip tightens.

“…I don’t know. I have to think.”

Back in the apartment, he skims through the letter to confirm Jisoo’s theory and wants to burn it afterwards. He tries to call him one more time in vain. At a loss, he sits down and begins to read the notebook. It’s private. But Yoongi owes him this much, he believes, feeling his heart tearing slowly but surely with every passing minute he isn’t given an explanation by Yoongi.

He opens the first page and begins to read. Then he skips a few pages, then again and again. His eyes mist over. It’s love poems. It’s a notebook full of heart wrenching love poems, of longing and unrequited love so raw and deep and relatable it shakes his world. He doesn’t know whether he’s crying for Yoongi’s quiet, endless heartache, overwhelmed by the beauty of his words or whether he’s crying because he can’t figure out through the lines who he’s in love with. Is it that ominous Jang?

Is it Seokjin?

He hopes and fears to find a verse, a word that can give him certainty. Please, please, please, Yoongi.

He lands on one of the last pages. With trembling heart he takes in the last words and lets out a sob. He closes the book and gets up, grabbing his phone, his wallet.

“Seokjin?” He whips around to see Namjoon in his pyjamas coming out of his room. “What-“ Namjoon’s bleary eyes widen as he takes in Seokjin’s state, tear tracks on his face, hands shaking and on the verge of running out. “Hyung, what-“

He slips into his shoes and throws the front door open. “I gotta go”, he gets out.

“Wait! Where are you going?!” He jogs down the stairs and into the garage, about to get to his Hyundai when his eyes land on the Aston Martin. Yoongi’s. He loves his car and yet he left it behind. Another sob escapes him.

“Hyung! Oh fuck- what happened- where are you going?” Namjoon tries to get his attention, grabbing his arm as he types in the code of the key holder, trying to breathe through his tears with his heart in his throat.

“Seokjin, Seokjin! Say something! Fuck, what-“ He walks to the Aston Martin and climbs in, throwing the book onto the passenger’s seat. “You- you shouldn’t be driving like that! Where are you going?” At last, he looks at his brother, wiping his eyes and letting out a shuddering breath.

“To Seoul.”

Namjoon gapes at him. He closes the door and starts the engine.

“To Yoongi.”

I've been watching you
For some time
Can't stop staring
At those oceans eyes
Burning cities
And napalm skies
Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes
Your ocean eyes

No fair
You really know how to make me cry
When you gimme those ocean eyes
I'm scared
I've never fallen from quite this high
Falling into your ocean eyes
Those ocean eyes

I've been walking through
A world gone blind
Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind
Careful creature
Made friends with time
He left him lonely with a diamond mind
And those ocean eyes

No fair
You really know how to make me cry
When you gimme those ocean eyes
I'm scared
I've never fallen from quite this high
Falling into your ocean eyes
Those ocean eyes

Chapter Text

Grey.

Grey sky, grey concrete, grey streets. Seoul is clouded, cold, unwelcoming. It’s too noisy with the blaring cacophony of rush hour, too bright with the glaring ad screens, and the air smells all wrong without the salty taste of the ocean.

He wants to leave again.

What’s he doing here? Yoongi’s been walking around aimlessly all morning. By now, he’s lost in the streets, not knowing where he is at all. Not that he cares. His feet carry him to a green park, pretty well-visited even at this hour but less crowded than the streets. He drops down on a bench, resting for a moment, letting his eyes wander. Trees and grass are a vivid green, flowers stand in full bloom. He can guess the sun behind the clouds and the glittering water of a pond further down the path. It’s summer around him but winter in his heart. Not the beautiful, white kind with the pure, warming snow. No…it’s the ugly one, that cannot let go of the warmer season, the winter with dead leaves on the bald trees, whipped around by the harsh wind, yet hanging on desperately while their fellows already lie crumbled, wet and muddy on the ground.

His heart, a graveyard of dead leaves.

He takes out the slip of paper with the Jang’s address, staring at it forlornly. What is he doing. Why is he like this. He feels like the biggest idiot in the world, falling for the most beautiful, kindest, funniest, most perfect human being who’s of course way out of his league. And still he hoped and tried and dreamed to get closer to him. Of course he could only crash and burn – his stupid rocket that never reaches the moon. He’s such an idiot. And now what? He’s literally fled from the hurt, yet it doesn’t feel like he’s left the pain behind at all. It’s weighing down on his heart, filling it like stone upon stone until there’s no space left for other feelings. He lets out a shuddering breath. It’s hard to keep his composure, to not break down right here and now in public.

The Jangs. Like they’d see his pathetic self and would still want him as their son-in-law. Like Dahye would agree to marry someone like him. Like this bloody city would want him as a citizen. It’s a stupid plan. It’s also his only plan. The only new plan as of late not involving Seokjin. A future without Seokjin. His vision starts blurring.

“Never fall, never fall

Please don’t leave me

Please don’t fall,”

Blinking, Yoongi looks up and is greeted by vibrant blue and yellow.

“I want the you that meets my eyes

I want the you that wants me.

Please don’t leave me

Please don’t fall

Never never fall

Don’t go far away.”

Yoongi stares at the stranger. On any other day, he’d admit this person deserves more reaction than what he’s capable of showing in this moment. From the impromptu poetry slam to his looks, this guy seems like an interesting character, to put it simple. A colourful blot in the grey landscape. He’s never seen anyone rocking such vivid blue hair. And to combine it with a bright yellow sweater…He must be one of those city hipsters, he thinks, almost disappointed when he doesn’t find him holding a Starbucks. As he regards him silently, he appreciates the extraordinary handsome face accompanying the ensemble, the camera hanging from his neck, the flashing accessories adorning ears and fingers and wrists. His dead heart stirs when he meets the stranger’s eyes. Pure and tender. There’s something familiar about them, something profound and innocent. Like Seokjin’s. His heart throbs painfully. There will never be anyone like Seokjin in his life again. He tears his gaze away, waiting for the guy to leave him be.

“Mint.”

He can’t help looking back at him. “What?”

The stranger points at his hair. “I have a good eye for which hair colour would suit you best. It’s mint green for you.”

“Mint?” He stares at him disbelievingly. Who’s this guy? “…Good to know.”

“Of course.” The stranger throws him a radiant, boxy grin. Despite his mood, he finds himself intrigued by this person.

“My name’s V.” He frames one eye with a victory sign and winks at him. “What’s yours?”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. V is hardly a name. Whatever. He decides to play along. “…Call me Gloss.”

V’s grin widens. “Gloss. You don’t sound like you’re from here.” He just shrugs in response. V holds up his camera and smiles kindly. “Can I take a picture of you?” Taking a picture of a stranger? Of Yoongi of all the people he could have stumbled upon in this vast park? No…he doesn’t want any evidence for the lowest point of his life. It’s hard enough as it is. He shakes his head. Lowering the device, V considers him for a moment. “There’s a nice café not far from here. They have the best strawberry milkshake. Would you like to join me?” Strawberry milkshake…Seokjin doesn’t like strawberry flavoured things. He swallows.

“They also have good coffee, I’ve heard.” V adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’ve heard?”

“I don’t drink coffee myself, so I can’t confirm.” He shrugs. “You look like a coffee drinker, though, one who didn’t have his coffee this morning.”

Well, it’s true. He hesitates for a bit, not sure whether a coffee is worth the trouble of keeping this weird stranger company or not. But like any addict, he’s weak and takes the fastest route to his drug gladly. Maybe coffee can give him back a bit of sanity. Maybe it’s not a good idea, but it’s by far not his worst. With nothing to lose, he gets up and follows V.

Hours and hours later, Seokjin’s still on the road. He had to take a break a while ago, taking the opportunity to contact Yoongi again without success. In the end, he sends him a simple call me when you read this, please.

He glances at the clock every now and then nervously, wondering when Yoongi will meet up with the Jangs and Seokjin will be too late. What if he’s too late? What if he can’t prevent Yoongi marrying someone he doesn’t love for whatever stupid, stupid reason? He swallows, what if he actually loves Jang Dahye? He tightens his grip on the wheel and steps on the gas. This doesn’t bear thinking. He just needs to be in time.

“- and we had strawberries under the stars and he looked so beautiful all the stars in the sky seemed faint compared to him. I thought- I thought my heart would stop.” Yoongi swallows as he remembers. “I was going to tell him, then. But I couldn’t.” He stares into his cup of Americano, feeling himself tearing up again. Squeezing his eyes shut, he gulps down the rest of the coffee. “Then I found out that he’s been sleeping with my brother all along.” He sniffs, then beckons a waiter. “Another Americano, please.”

“Gloss, I’m sorry to hear. But also, that’d be your fifth cup, maybe slow down?”

Yoongi’s turning and turning the empty cup in his hands, leg bouncing beneath the table. He shrugs. Fifth? He’s barely feeling any effects. He’s a bit more alive, maybe. And the coffee here is really good.

“You see, he’s been in love with my brother his whole life while I’ve been-“ He gasps, his heart throbbing painfully. Even now, he cannot admit it aloud. It hurts too much.

“-I thought maybe I had a chance”, he whispers. His eyes mist over before a single tear escapes, running down his face. “I was wrong.” Looking sideways, he rubs at his cheek, trying not to break down completely. Deep breaths. His lips quiver with every exhale.

“That’s…that’s awful, man. I’m so sorry.”

They sit in silence for a while, Yoongi sipping on his drink, not bothered by V’s eyes on him very much after telling him his story and breaking down. He feels like nothing much matters, anymore. So what if a stranger sees him crying?

V, if he has to form an opinion on him, is a good listener. Who likes strawberry flavoured things. Who has eyes similar to Seokjin’s. And that’s it, more reasons for Yoongi to leave his new companion than stay any second longer. He can’t stop thinking about Seokjin, yet every single thing reminding him of Seokjin is like a punch to the gut, making it harder to breathe and adding to his heartache.

“I gotta go”, he says, putting some money on the table.

“Where are you going?” V asks quickly, concern evident in his big eyes. “What are you going to do? Do you have a place to stay?”

For a brief moment, he wonders whether everyone in Seoul is this friendly and invested in strangers. Maybe only the blue-haired, yellow-sweater-wearing people are. He drops his gaze as he bares his soul one more time to V. “…my brother was supposed to marry favourably and make way for a business merger between our and his fiancé’s family. That obviously doesn’t work out, anymore. So as CEO I’m trying to save face and money.” He sighs, “I’m actually here to discuss marriage and a merger with one of our business partners.”

“You’re- hold on,” V stares at him with wide eyes, “CEO? What company? So you’re super rich?”

He shrugs, “Drinks are on me. Thanks for listening.” He gets up, ready to leave.

“Wait! You’re discussing marriage- whose marriage? If not your brother’s then-”

“…Mine.”

V gapes at him. “Yours?! But- you just told me how you’re head over heels for that guy and now you want to marry someone else??”

Yoongi huffs exasperatedly. “Political marriages aren’t uncommon and in this regard, feelings aren’t defining. Whether I live married or unmarried with a broken heart doesn’t matter. I can’t save my heart but I can save my family’s face and earn them some money in compensation.

“It does matter.”

“What?”

“It’s not fair to the person you’ll marry. It’s not fair to you.  Marriage is no trifle. Don’t do this.” V gazes at him with imploring eyes. He can’t look at them for too long. “Goodbye.”

Seokjin arrives at his destination. He’s going crazy. His nerves are strung like he’s never felt before with his guts churning, his heart dropping then jumping into his throat in turn, with a maddening tingle underneath his skin and limbs that are tense, stuck between ready to run and frozen on the spot. He swallows around a dry mouth and blinks at the grand skyscraper in front of him. Jang Enterprise. At any other time, he’d shake his head at this kind of richness, having a whole building carrying your name. Fuck. He blushes embarrassedly. This is the class Yoongi engages with, only the daughter of an empire is considered good enough to be his future wife. Naturally. How could Seokjin ever compare? He looks down on himself, taking in his pitiful appearance. Oh God, pink hoodie, slacks, sneakers. He won’t make it past the foyer. Fuck. Around him he sees people dressed for business, looking expensive and important. He shouldn’t even be walking these streets. Taking out his phone, he tries to call Yoongi one more time without success. Despair climbs up in him.  He stares up at the tower with its endless windows and rooms, wondering if Yoongi is in one of them, signing a binding contract in this moment because Seokjin’s too late. Bracing himself, he makes his way into the building, feeling the guards’ critical eyes following him until he stops at the reception.

“Good afternoon, Sir, how may I help you?” The receptionist gives him a friendly smile. If his attire bothers her, she doesn’t show it.

“Good afternoon. I-“ He swallows, “I’m looking for someone. Min Yoongi.”

She frowns. “Min Yoongi?”

“Yes. He…is he here?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Min Yoongi of Jung Trading is positioned in Busan.”

“I know. But I think he wanted, wanted to come here.” Oh God. “Did you see him here?”

“Today?”

“Yes?”

“Does he have an appointment?”

“I guess?”

Now she looks at him sceptically. “You guess?” She gives him a once over.

“Please, could you find out whether he’s had or going to have an appointment with the Jangs today?”

“…I’m sorry, Sir, but I cannot disclose information about the Jangs and their engagements.”

“I’m just asking you to disclose information about Min Yoongi.” She gives him a look. Fuck. He should have planned this somehow. “Please,” he begs, eyes wide and beseeching. “I just need-“ He glances sideways, at a loss of what to say. He feels blood rushing up his face as his lips start trembling. “I just need.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I lost him. And I need to find him. Please.” There’s a pause as she just considers him. Then she sighs. “I cannot tell you where Min Yoongi is. I can only say I haven’t seen him today, yet, and I’ve been here since 9 am.” She hasn’t seen him…which means…he hasn’t been here, unless he arrived earlier than 9 am…For a second, hope surges up in him, but in the next moment his heart sinks low. Where is he then? This address was his only clue about his whereabouts.

“Sir, I have to ask you to leave.” The receptionist gives him another meaningful look, pointing at the people behind him.

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Thank you.” Stepping back, he lets his eyes roam over the foyer, wondering if he should stay here and wait in case Yoongi plans to meet the Jangs now or later. Maybe he should wait outside, he thinks, as he sees a guard slowly making his way towards him.

So his watch begins. Outside, he stands a bit further away to not provoke the guards and waits with his eyes glued to the entrance. What if Yoongi’s arrived before 9 am and hasn’t left, yet? The thought twists his heart. Every now and then he checks his phone. Urgent messages from Namjoon, silence from Yoongi. He texts his brother to reassure him.

I’m in Seoul. I’m safe.

Thank God!

Idiot.

Tell me what happened. Incoming call from Namjoon. He swipes it away, not wanting to risk missing a call from Yoongi.

I can’t right now.

Check in with Taehyung.

Promise me.

I promise.

It feels like an eternity. Slowly, it’s getting darker. When he looks up he realises it’s not the sun setting but rather the clouds gathering into a storm. A thunder, then the first heavy raindrops. Around him, pedestrians hurry to get inside. He looks for a shelter and finds a little shop with a canopy at the front across the Jang skyscraper. By the time he’s crossed the street he’s wet from head to toe. Shoving his hands deep inside his pockets he waits on. A glance at the sky shows him it’s not clearing any time soon. He waits until he’s shivering from the cold, until he feels sick to his stomach, reminded of the fact that he hasn’t eaten anything, today. He waits until his hope withers away as clouds keep gathering above his head and in his heart. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until a heavy sob quakes through his body and the rain tastes salty on his lips. At last, he drops his gaze from the entrance of Jang Enterprise and leaves, his resolve crumbled and washed away by the rain.

The moment Taehyung opens the door Seokjin breaks down.

“Seokjin-hyung! What-“

“Taehyung!” He sobs, snot and tears running down his face.

“Oh baby”, Taehyung wraps his arms around Seokjin and pulls him inside. He helps Seokjin out of his wet hoodie, gives him a towel, makes him some tea.

They sit in the kitchen, Seokjin wrapped in a blanket, sniffling into his cup.

“Namjoon called me. He’s worried about you. What happened?”

It’s awful. He feels awful. Here he is, 400 km away from home, cold and wet and at a new low point in his life. He’s lost his heart and cannot find it. He shudders with another sob.

“I lost Yoongi and I- I can’t f-find him.”

“Who’s Yoongi?” Who’s Yoongi? Seokjin sniffs. In a better state of mind, he could wax poetic about who’s Yoongi. Draw parallels between him and the stars, the sun and the moon, telling him all about how he lights up his world and makes him so happy with the small and simple things in life. How he is the most beautiful person, the most beautiful soul he’s ever met. But now, he just boils it down to a simple, “I love him.”

“…I thought…weren’t you in love with what’s his name -  Hoseok?”

He shakes his head, knuckles pressed to his lips. “I’m over Hoseok. It’s his brother…we got closer after I returned from Seoul. Became friends.” He shrugs weakly. “One day I’d wake up feeling more. But before I could confess he suddenly just left.” He lets out a shuddering breath.

“And…” Taehyung ducks his head to meet his eyes. “You think he’s here? In Seoul?”

“I found his notebook and cl-clues that led me here. He wants to g-get engaged with a Jang out of the blue. I thought- I thought he liked me back but I’m not so sure anymore…” Seokjin chokes out the last words, blinking against the tears that threaten to fall again.

Meanwhile, Taehyung freezes, dropping the marshmallow from his spoon into his hot chocolate. Cocoa splashes onto his yellow sweater, but he doesn’t seem to notice. His face turns thoughtful as he pouts at Seokjin. “You know, it’s weird because I went to the park today and met Gloss.” Gloss? What kind of name is that?

“Who’s Gloss?”

“My new friend!”

“…A cat?”

“A human.” Taehyung tilts his head and taps a finger against his lips. “Though rather cat-like. Hm.”

“Cat-like?”

“Hm. He was cute. He’d look even cuter in mint green.”

“What cat would look cute in mint-“ Seokjin shakes his head. Focus. “Taehyung, what are you trying to say?” Taking a sip of his drink, Taehyung continues, “So I made a new friend! Gloss. We had coffee (well, I had a milkshake) which he seems to love, he had like, five cups.”

“You met a coffee-junkie in a park. So what was weird?”

“Gloss was really sad and he told me his story.” He points a long finger at Seokjin. “Which is kind of similar to yours.” Seokjin’s heart skips a beat. “What?”

“He told me about this amazing guy he grew up with next doors, how he’s always liked him and how they’ve gotten closer lately. They went on fishing trips and had lunch and dinners together and had strawberries under the stars but-“

“But?” Seokjin holds his breath, his heart racing in his chest. Taehyung frowns. “He found out that he was sleeping with his brother. So he left brokenhearted to marry someone he doesn’t love in Seoul.”

Seokjin can’t breathe. “Did he- was he- what did he look like?”

“Hm, like a cute kitten-“

“Taehyung-ah”, he closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. “Was he, like, this tall and had black hair a-and a boppable nose a-and a cute pout?” Seokjin asks with a trembling voice, flailing with his hands.

Taehyung contemplates him for a moment, then taps Seokjin’s phone on the table. It lights up, showing his lockscreen. They both lean forward to look at it. It’s Yoongi with the ocean in the background, his stunning side profile on display.

“You have Gloss as your lockscreen.” Seokjin draws in a sharp breath.

Taehyung furrows his brows at him. “You slept with Gloss’ brother?”

“No! I didn’t! Tae, Gloss is- that’s Yoongi!” Oh my God, Taehyung met Yoongi, he’s really here somewhere – and he calls himself Gloss oh God, and he thinks he slept with Hoseok? Oh my God, did he hurt his head? He jumps out of his seat, near hysterics and shakes Taehyung’s shoulders. “Tae, Tae! Where, when did you last see him!! What did he say where he was going? Oh God-“

“He wanted to go discuss marriage. I saw him before noon.”

“Be-before noon? When before noon? Before or after 9 am? Tae! Before or after 9 am!”

“A-a-after-“ Stilling his hands, Taehyung pulls them gently but determinedly away from his shoulders.

“After? But-“ Panic overcomes him. Yoongi has never arrived at the Jangs, if he can trust the statement of the receptionist. Where is he then? Where is he where is he where is he-

“Seokjin-hyung! Hey. Calm down.” Taehyung rubs soothing circles into his skin, wrapping him in his deep voice, humming softly.

“But where is he then? Tae- I’ve waited for him at the Jang Enterprise for hours- ugh” Seokjin chokes on another sob. “I tried to call him b-but his phone i-is off- what- what if something h-happened to him?”

“Hey, hey, I’m sure he’s alright. Maybe he changed his plans, is all.”

“I need to find him.” Seokjin throws the blanket off and grabs his hoodie while rushing to the door.

“Hyung! Wait! Where are you going?”

“I-“

“Seoul is big, where would you start to look?” His heart drops. He thinks of Yoongi, his sweet Yoongi who hates crowds and storms, who’s lost in the city all alone, who’s maybe hit his head awfully.

“I don’t know,” he answers, his voice thick and wobbly. “But I can’t just sit around.” Taehyung’s eyes soften. “Okay.” He grabs an umbrella and his keys.

“What are you-“

“I’m coming with you, of course. You’re not driving like this.” He blinks at his cousin, fondness and gratitude washing over him. “Thank you,” he whispers and is rewarded with a bright, boxy grin. “We’ll find him, don’t worry.”

With a bud of hope in his heart, Seokjin gives a small, wet smile in return.

Half an hour later in Taehyung’s car, he feels like he’s losing his mind. They haven’t found him, yet (of course not). But it’s also still pouring buckets of rain and dark so that he can barely make out anyone on the streets, let alone Yoongi. A sudden inspiration makes him ask Hoseok whether he knows anything about Yoongi’s whereabouts. He replies immediately. According to him, Yoongi hadn’t contacted neither his family, nor the Jangs all day. Most likely, Hoseok said, Yoongi’s just in a mood and he’ll come around, though he does admit he’s never dropped his work like that before. It’s frustrating.

Seokjin huffs. “Turn right- no, that street! Where are you going Taehyung-ah!”

“To the Han River.”

“It’s raining, why’d he be at the river! He’d look for a shelter, a shop, somewhere to eat-“

“If he’s in a mood and weird about it, Han River is where we should look. Trust me.” He huffs again, his patience wearing thin.

After a while he says, “Taehyung-ah, was he injured?”

“Gloss? No. Why?”

“Because he calls himself Gloss and thinks I slept with Hoseok. Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you see his head? Was their blood or anything?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Oh.”

“What, what? Was there blood?!”

"No. Look!"

They come to a stop, lining up in a traffic jam. Oh for- Seokjin sinks deeper in his seat, gnawing at his knuckles. They’ll never find him like this. Desperation drives him when he opens his seatbelt and climbs out of the car. “Hyung! What are you doing! It’s pouring!” He bends down to talk to his cousin, blinking against the drops of water, already feeling rivulets of rain gathering on his neck and running down his back before he can throw his hood over his head. “I need to keep looking. Don’t wait for me.”
“Hold on! At least take this! And text me! I’ll wait in the next parking lot by the riv-” Taking the umbrella, he puts it up and closes the door. Then he starts jogging towards the pedestrian way and the river.

There’s barely anyone walking the streets. Just a few people hurrying towards their cars or other means of transportation. Passing restaurants, he wonders if he should look for Yoongi here, too. But the closer he gets to the river, the more he doubts to find him sitting cosily in a shop. He feels like his heart is tattooing out of his chest from the exertion, from the stress, the hope and fear. The few people he meets at the Han River all hide behind an umbrella. This way, it’s even harder to find Yoongi. He rubs his eyes dry of raindrops and looks around nervously, trying to find a clue, a sign, anything pointing him towards Yoongi. It’s so dark, oh God, and it’s still raining, though it’s lessened a bit. Distraught, he cries, “Yoongi!!” A couple turns to look at him. No one else seems to react. Umbrella, umbrella, umbrella. He’ll never find him. “Yoongi-ah!!” He starts shivering, turning and turning, trying to take in 360° vision to not miss a single thing. “Yoongi-ah!!” He runs a few metres, stops to look around, then runs again. “Yoongi-ah!” He gasps, again and again, running down the river like a madman.

He doesn’t know for how long he’s been looking, but these parts are empty. Other pedestrians have become scarce, and now he feels like he’s all alone at the Han River. Maybe coming here was a bad idea, after all. He should have looked in the city. Or in hotels. Or restaurants. Or called the police. His eyes mist over. He should have but he didn’t and it’s a pattern in his life he’s getting sick of. After years of hardship and heartache and bad luck he’s just asking for one thing, one single thing for himself. How can it be too much to ask for? Why are all the odds against him? He lets his head hang for a moment, then stares at the Han River.

Through the blur he sees the bright, colourful lights reflected in the water, the surface of the river broken by the raindrops. On the other side, he can guess the highlighted buildings and skyscrapers. It reminds him of the Jung parties. Watching all the glittering lights from afar, imagining the colours and shapes rather than actually seeing them while he sits in the shadow of the tree or in his room with his nose pressed to the window. Somewhere out there is Yoongi. He thought him next to him, in his arms and in his life. Seokjin thought he knew the shape of him. But maybe he was delusional. Maybe the wall between the mansion and the garage cannot be broken down. Maybe there will always be something in between them. Their different social standing. Family obligations. A bag of strawberries. The Han River. Seoul. Yoongi is the shimmering, shining pot at the end of the rainbow and Seokjin, blinded by the colours, slipped on his way towards him. In the end, he finds himself still standing in the rain, the illusion of a rainbow faded, gone, and the treasure lost out of sight. Was he just a dream?

Reality is the Han River spread wide in front of you, cold and unforgiving like the rain soaking through your clothes, it’s seeing bright lights that don’t touch you, leaving you shivering, it’s the night without stars and you lost and alone in the streets. It’s clouds and rain bearing down on your head while a storm wrecks your heart.

Seokjin blinks tears or rain away, he doesn’t know. There are holes in the umbrella, he’s sure but he doesn’t care. He feels numb as he stares forlornly into the river. Freshwater, he thinks bitterly. So far away from the ocean. So far away from home. Let me add my tears to it and turn it salty.

Tiredly, he turns away from the river and stares down the promenade. Empty and dark. It’s getting eerie, maybe he should return. Any longer and he’ll die of pneumonia in the days to come. Like that hobo over there without an umbrella. That’s not smart at all. He slows down as he comes nearer, thinking of sharing his umbrella, then rethinking that he might be a mugger. On third thought…he squints at the person and rubs his eyes, faltering in his steps. The hair seems off but. “Ugh” He grimaces as a new wave of tears and snot hits him. The numbness falls off him. Suddenly, his limbs are cold and wet, his guts a tight, almost sickening knot and his heart a wildfire, larger than any thunderstorm. His breath stutters, stops, as he starts walking faster, then running towards him. “Yoongi,” he gasps, “Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi” Paradoxically, the closer Seokjin gets the blurrier Yoongi becomes as tears obscure his view. He manages a deep breath and shouts, “Yoongi!!”, and sees him turning with wide eyes, surprise written all over his face. With a heartfelt sob Seokjin drops the umbrella and throws himself into Yoongi’s arms.

Chapter Text

Seokjin.

He recognizes his voice breaking through the sound of the rain, hears footsteps hitting the wet pavement. When he turns he sees a blur of pink – pink sweater, pink lips, pink ears. It’s his face he realizes, his chest constricting painfully. It’s Seokjin. It’s Seokjin.

Before he can begin to wonder what he’s doing here, in Seoul, or whether he’s started hallucinating, he has his arms full of Seokjin who clings at him, squeezing all the air out of his lungs. He staggers at the impact first, but then, without thinking, he wraps his arms around him tightly, revelling in the feeling of his heavy weight and warmth pressed against him. Yoongi gasps and screws his eyes shut as the turmoil in his heart threatens to spill over. He doesn’t know what’s happening, only that he needs to hold on and never let go again. His fingers claw at Seokjin’s sweater as he tries to pull him closer, burying his nose in the crook of his neck. Seawater and roses. Despite the rain, his scent is clear and fresh to him. Rain cannot wash away the ocean. He presses even closer. God, he’s missed him so.

Seokjin makes a dying noise, sounding like his name. He’s quivering in his embrace, bouts of heartwrenching, shuddering sobs surging through him again and again. He’s crying, he realizes belatedly. Oh God, what happened? Yoongi begins to rub his back soothingly while trying not to panic. “Hey, hey, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay”, he murmurs into his wet hair. So wet. Seokjin’s going to catch a cold. “We should-“

“I w-was so- so worried!” Seokjin wails. Before he can say anything in response, Seokjin pulls back, cradling his face on both sides. “A-are you h-h-hurt? Are you oh-okay?”

In the dim streetlights he takes in Seokjin’s upset expression, eyes shining with tears, brows creased with concern and lips wobbly. It’s tearing his heart apart. “Hyung,” he says incredibly softly, “hyung, I’m alright. I’m alright. I’m not hurt.”

“Ugh” Seokjin sobs and proceeds to hug him tight once more. At a loss, he continues to soothe Seokjin with his voice and his hands. He was worried about him? How is that- why is he-? Yoongi is utterly confused.

“I was so worried”, Seokjin hiccups.

“I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, Seokjin hits his shoulder, “You’re an idiot!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” Of course he’s an idiot. Of course.

Seokjin leans back to look at him again. “Why’d y-you think that I’d sl-slept with Ho-Hoseok?” He gapes at Seokjin, mind reeling from the turn of events – Seokjin in his arms, totally upset and asking him about something he’s only told…told that guy in the park, he forgot his name. Yoongi doesn’t understand anything but as he stares at Seokjin’s distraught face one thing becomes clear: he doesn’t look like he’s slept with Hoseok. Oh.

“I’m an idiot”, he whispers, dumbfounded.

Seokjin sniffs, looking so sad he wants to strangle himself for apparently causing his turmoil.

“I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.” He repeats louder, cupping his face, stroking his cheek tenderly, attempting to brush away his tears – but new ones keep falling and the rain just adds to it, making his endeavour useless. “I’m so sorry.”

“Wh-why’d you l-l-leave?” Seokjin looks at him questioningly, beseechingly and Yoongi is simply floored that Seokjin seems to care that much. He meant to leave trouble and heartache behind, not to cause more of it. He didn’t think… he didn’t think. Period. That’s the problem, huh. He short-circuited and stopped thinking things through properly.

“I- I s-saw you and Hoseok by the, the pool house-“ he stammers.

Puzzled, Seokjin draws his eyebrows together, “We were talking. You saw us? When? Where?” He huffs frustratedly, “I was on my way to you!”

“You were-? Hold on- you. You two were drinking champagne!”

Seokjin whines, “We drank sprite!”

“W-what?”

“We drank a toast to new friendship in Hoseok style with fucking sprite from fucking flutes! He apologized to me for being an idiot!” His face contorts with aggravation as he hits him again. “You and your brother both! So you saw us drinking by the pool house and jumped to conclusion?”

He feels so dumb. He’s never felt this dumb in his entire life or any other life before, probably. “I-I-“

“And then you left? Without a word, phone turned off?” Seokjin lets out an exasperated breath. “Were you ever going to tell me?” Seokjin sniffs, dropping his gaze for a second.

“Seokjin- I, I’m so sorry-“

When he looks up again, his eyes are shy and guilty. “Yoongi I-“ He swallows. “I found your notebook.”

Oh.

Yoongi’s heart skips a beat. What is left unsaid is conveyed through Seokjin’s imploring eyes. He’s read the book. Letting out a shuddering breath, Yoongi slowly slips his palm off Seokjin’s face as does his gaze. But a hand catches his in midway, bringing it to Seokjin’s chest, holding it close to his heart, warm and steady. He looks up at him, feeling Seokjin’s heart almost like his own, beating hard and fast.

“Yoongi”, he starts, blinking against the raindrops, “just tell me, please. Those poems, were- were they“, Seokjin heaves with his chest a few times before he continues with a trembling voice while Yoongi’s stopped breathing a while ago, “about- J-Jang Dahye? Or-“ Seokjin tightens his hold on his hand as his heart flips, “about me?”

Here they are at last, hundreds of miles away from home. It took Seoul and a thunderstorm (and somehow, Yoongi’s immense stupidity) to push them to this point. Here they are with Seokjin pleading with his eyes to give him an answer, the right answer. And Yoongi, just as desperate, hopes to be reading the situation right for once to give him what he wants.

He stares up at Seokjin, taking in his gorgeous features, immaculate despite facing shite weather, bad lighting and wet hair. He’s breathtaking, even now, especially now.

Yoongi feels his chest constricting, his heart squeezing around the untold truth one last time like a dear, old friend he used to hate, used to love and got used to live with – before letting it go once and for all. He lets Seokjin’s words sink deep into him, like a key sinking into the keyhole of his heart, filling it out perfectly before it turns, unravelling each fibre of his heart and laying bare all of his secrets. He feels it with his whole body, with racing pulse and fluttering nerves, with tingling fingers and flushed face when it finally breaks free.

“It’s you”, he croaks, “hyung, I love you.” He hears a sharp intake of breath from Seokjin, his brows furrowed as he blinks increasingly.

“I love you.” He repeats with a stronger voice. “So much.” His breath shudders, “So much it fills a whole book. So much I’m running out of words to describe you, out of pages to praise you.” He sniffs heartily, his voice turning thick with emotions, “So much that I ran away from home thinking that I lost all chances of being with you.

I love you so much that it takes my breath away, everyday. My heart races and stutters when I’m with you and stops beating when I’m without you.” He digs his fingers into Seokjin’s chest, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. “I love you so much that it hurts, hyung. I love you so much that it hurts and I don’t know how it started but I can’t stop-“

Yoongi gasps as suddenly, lips steal his voice, his breath, his mind, pressing warm and soft and hard all at once against his own. His eyes flutter shut as he drowns in the feeling, all thoughts gone. Hands cup his face, tilting his head as Seokjin presses closer. It tingles where they touch. Seokjin strokes goosebumps into his skin, making him shiver in his embrace. He whimpers from the sensation and from the realization that it’s Seokjin, Seokjin in his arms, kissing him, wanting him. SeokjinSeokjinSeokjin. He pulls at him, trying to erase every miniscule inch between them and kisses back with all he’s got. His lips are on fire and he thinks he’s burning up with the way his heart is pounding and his lungs are fighting for air and Seokjin must be, too, he can feel it beneath his palms. He doesn’t know who of them breaks the kiss first but it’s a bad idea, making him feel bereft and yearning for the next kiss, and the next, and the next.

“Then don’t stop”, Seokjin gasps, looking at him with shimmering eyes. “Don’t stop loving me.” He heaves with heavy breaths as he smiles wetly at Yoongi, “Because I love you, too.”

“Seokjin“, Yoongi chokes out tearfully, grimacing as he can’t hold it back anymore with his heart in his throat, fit to bursting with love and joy. The rain is getting stronger again, pouring and pouring, but it doesn’t faze him in the least. It cannot extinguish the fire in him, cannot flood this island that is YoongiandSeokjin, cannot keep his soul from soaring and reaching the stars beyond the clouds.

Seokjin laughs and cries and Yoongi thinks, he’s never been more beautiful. “Fuck, Yoongi, I’m- I’m not a poet like you. I love you. I love you. You raise me up like no one else does. You make me happy like nothing else. I love you. And you’re so gorgeous, Yoongi-ah, you have no idea.” He strokes his cheeks reverently, staring at him so adoringly Yoongi cannot catch a breath. Yet he manages to shake his head, “No, you’re gorgeous. I’ve never met anyone so beautiful, so perfect like you, hyung.” Seokjin laughs happily, eyes crinkling at the corners and Yoongi’s so in love. This time, he’s the first to pull him into the kiss. It’s electrifying and addictive, the way Seokjin can’t stop giggling in between kisses, the way he can feel his smile against his lips, the way he tastes like home. And he loves the way Seokjin holds him so warm and soft and surely like he wants this as much as he does, like he’s just as unwilling to stop and let go.

So they kiss and kiss and kiss, with the rain pouring down on them unrelentingly, with the Han River and the lights fading in the background while between them, their hearts collide like fusing stars, becoming one, building a new sparkling world together with YoongiandSeokjin at the centre.

“What’s with your hair, though, I have to ask”, Seokjin breathes, leaning back and putting a finger to Yoongi’s lips to make him focus on his words. Really, it’s cute, how he’s so drunk on their kisses that he can’t seem to stop – he can totally relate. In fact, what was the question? Why did they stop? He leans back in, almost annoyed with himself for spending a second not attached to Yoongi’s addictive, tantalizing, gorgeous pout, now that he can kiss him all he wants, any time, anywhere, forever. He’ll never stop. Happiness surges through him, making his heart overflow with it, seeping into his limbs and diffusing outwards, into the soil, the air, the sky, as it becomes too much to hold in. Let the whole world see. Let them get a glimpse, an idea of how happy he is, let them have a taste of his love for Yoongi.

At last, the clouds part for the night sky as the shower becomes a drizzle. Crystalline raindrops. Starlit. Sky-blue. With the euphoria in his heart, the beauty around him seems more pronounced, more colourful, brighter. He can’t help smiling, thinks he’ll never be able to stop again. Because this is love: wind beneath your wings, the sun in your face and the world spread out at your feet, conquerable, vast and beautiful, full of possibilities. And above your head, new stars, new dreams that are not as out of reach as you think they are. Because this is love: a force that makes you unstoppable.

“It’s- uh- mint green”, Yoongi gasps, after his mind seems to have caught up with Seokjin’s question – minutes later.

“Mint green?” He touches his hair, trying to discern its colour. But in its wet condition and in the dim light he can’t really tell. “Why mint green?”

“Uh-“, Yoongi shrugs, eyes flickering between his eyes and lips. Seokjin blushes. He’s so cute. “I m-met that guy who told me mint would suit me. So.”

Seokjin snorts, “You- Yoongi-ah, you left home in the dead of the night to,” he starts chuckling, “to dye your hair mint green? In Seoul? Because a guy in the park said it would look good on you?” Yoongi scowls as Seokjin can’t hold back his laughter any longer, his whole body quaking with it. “If you say it like that it sounds really…”

“Did you really spend your whole afternoon in a hair salon?”

Yoongi scrunches up his nose. “Yeah. It was nice.” Always so weak for his cute nose, Seokjin bops it once, smiling softly. “So…you didn’t go to the Jangs?”

The corners of Yoongi’s lips turn down. Frowning, he holds Seokjin’s hand against his chest, giving him a serious look. “I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just…I was so…so lost and I thought that was the solution. But it felt wrong. So I couldn’t. Seokjin, I didn’t. And I won’t.” Seokjin can’t quite meet his eyes and plays with his collar instead. “So you decided mint green hair was the real deal?”

Yoongi snorts, “Well, Hoseok always tells me to mint things up in my life.”

“And?”

“Hm?”

“Does it work? Do you feel all fresh and minty?”

“Like a cough drop.” Seokjin bursts out laughing, hitting Yoongi’s arm.

“Sprinkled with toothpaste”, Yoongi adds drily. Still giggling, Seokjin drops his head onto Yoongi’s shoulder. His chuckles subside, but his pulse rate picks up again as he asks shyly, hiding his face in Yoongi’s neck, “Do you…like Jang Dahye?” He feels Yoongi stilling while he waits with bated breath for his response.

A hand cradles the back of his head. “Seokjin-hyung. Hey.” Yoongi nudges him, but he just buries deeper into the crook of his neck, refusing to look at him. Why can’t he just answer with ‘no’? Just say no. He screws his eyes shut, furrowing his brows. Just say no. When he won’t budge, Yoongi huffs. “I don’t, hyung. Not like that.” Seokjin sighs with relief. “We’re friends since university, nothing more.”

“…Yet you considered marrying her.”

“Hyung, look at me.” Biting his lips, he complies at last. Yoongi looks at him lovingly, brushing their noses together. “I was panicking and I do stupid things when I panic. I never meant to hurt you, hyung. Please forgive me.” He pecks his lips tenderly, then moves to the corner of his mouth, then to his cheeks and eyes. Seokjin melts into the kisses, feeling his heart swelling with each of them. “Besides, that marriage would have been the saddest thing on earth.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you, Seokjin, only you. The shelves would have been filled with hundreds of books about you. The walls decorated with thousand pictures of you. Dahye would have divorced me a week in.” Seokjin hums, somewhat pacified. “Promise me you won’t leave like this again?”

“I promise. Seokjin, I promise you I’ll never leave you again, if, if you’ll have me.” Fondness wells up in him as he regards Yoongi, drinking in his earnest eyes and slight pout. The corners of his lips tilt up. “Unless Vogue tells you about the latest craze you have to pursue in Seoul in the middle of the night?”

“Obviously. When mint green is no longer the new black I have to take action.” Seokjin chuckles then sighs contently. He can live with that.

“Forgiven”, he says, kissing his nose, “forgiven”, his cheeks, “forgiven”, his smile.

“I love you, Yoongi-ah.” Yoongi’s eyes glitter with the same happiness that he feels. “I love you, too.” They kiss slowly and tenderly, savouring each other. “Maybe we should…”

“Yeah, it’s probably late. And it’s so wet.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Hmm.”

“AcHOO!!” They both jump out of their skin at the loud sneeze. When they whip around to see who it is they find Taehyung next to them, holding a branch with bushy leaves above his head as a makeshift umbrella. “Tae-Taehyung!”

“Huh?” Yoongi gapes at his cousin. “That’s the guy! L or S or something-“

Taehyung grins at him. “V. Hey Gloss! Seokjin-hyung!”

“That’s your cousin?”

“Yeah. Taehyung- I thought you’re home already!”

“I told you I’d wait in the car. But you took so long…” He stares at his mischievous cousin who’s sneaked up on them unnoticeably. “How long have you been standing here?” Taehyung grins. “Not long. Come on, don’t you want to get out of your wet clothes and get warm?”, he asks, winking at them allusively. Seokjin blushes. Jesus, Taehyu-

“ACHHOO!!”

“AAAH!!!” Seokjin screams back, clutching Yoongi’s arm in shock. Then he hits his cousin. “Stop it!! You’re giving me a heart attack!”

“Can’t help it”, Taehyung sniffs.

“Maybe we should hurry, before-“ (“ACHHOO!”) “-V gets a cold.”

“It already sounds like a cold to me.” Seokjin comments, considering his cousin.

“It’s- it’s just hayfever. AchoO!” Taehyung points at the branch. “I’m allergic to those.” Seokjin wrestles the thing out of his grip. “Then don’t hold it under your nose, Jesus Christ!”

“Thanks.”

“Oh my God.”

Beside him, Yoongi shakes with silent laughter, flashing his sweet gummy smile.
“Come on,” he grins at him and intertwines their fingers, pulling him along as they follow Taehyung. On their way to his car, they find his actual umbrella. It has Taehyung crying out loud with joy and belting out ‘Singin’ in the Rain’, swinging around every lamppost.

“So that’s Taehyung, huh?”

“That’s Taehyung.”

“…I followed the advice of a musical kid?”

“Of an artist, Yoongichi. Don’t be fooled by his singing talent. And his dancing and acting skills. And his looks. Really, he’s a behind-the-scenes kinda guy.

“Hm.” Yoongi remains sceptical. “Still, do you think I- I should go to the hair salon tomorrow? Change my hair colour back to black?” Seokjin blinks at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know…just…” He mumbles something.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Yoongi ducks his head, probably flushing red, he can’t tell with the dim lights, what a pity. “Because you don’t like mint…”

Aww, he squeals internally while planting a big kiss on his squishy cheek. “I don’t like mint but…” He winks at him gleefully, mirth bubbling up in him uncontrollably. “…I like Mint Yoongi flavoured things.” For a beat, he has his lips pressed into a thin line, holding everything in as he looks for Yoongi’s reaction. He seems conflicted, torn between wanting to swallow his amusement and laughter, to kiss him or to hide his blushing, embarrassed face. In the end, Yoongi settles with a fourth option.

“Aaarh!”, he cries out exasperatedly, scowling and looking sideways while Seokjin doubles over with laughter. Some things never change.

Chapter Text

Cloud nine, it’s his new home now. A castle made of pink cotton candy, rainbow be the ground he walks on and Yoongi hangs up the billion stars above his head. His horizon is golden and endless and with Yoongi in his arms he feels like embracing an ocean of love and warmth and everything sweet in this world. He loves Yoongi and Yoongi loves him.

They spend one night at Taehyung’s. The next day, Yoongi calls Jisoo to deal with the mess he left behind by skipping work.

“What? Hoseok?” Seokjin looks up at Yoongi’s surprised tone while on the phone. “What do you mean- He went to the meetings?! What the- where’s he now? Put him on the line…what do you mean you want details first?” Yoongi huffs in annoyance, blushing slightly. “Give me Hoseok-ah…Jisoo!” He glances at Seokjin, reddening further. Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him. Yoongi waves him off, turning away. His hand moves up to touch his ear. “…Give me-“ He huffs again. “…Fine…we did. Now g- Jisoo!...Yes.” Seokjin hears a loud squeal from the phone. “Now give me Hoseok!” Yoongi sounds flustered. Seokjin can see his flushed neck. He must be so red. Amused, he smiles at Yoongi when he glances over his shoulder, forehead creased in a mix of confusion and irritation while he waits looking like a tomato. So cute.

Hoseok is in Yoongi’s office. He’s been here since 6 am, going through important business documents. The pen in his hand is hitting the paper in front of him two hundred beats per minute (approximately the same rate at which his pulse is going), his eyes scanning black ink on white a mile a minute. He’s on fire. He’s alive. He’s on his fifth coffee.

Going strong. Going strong. Rrrring! Rrrring!! “Gah!!” His heart jumps up to the ceiling and stays stuck. Hoseok nearly falls off the chair and stares at the culprit warily. The phone. Now, if Yoongi had any sense of flair and mood setting, he’d bloody change the ring tone. He squints at the phone model. What’s this, can you download stuff? He’d feel better if Drake told him he’s getting a call. And he’ll know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing. Work work work work work. Nananananana ba ba ba ba b- Rrring!! “BAAh!!”

“Hoseok-ssi! Get the phone!! It’s Yoongi-ssi!” Jisoo calls from the hall.

“AH!” The Brother! He grabs the receiver eagerly.

“BROTHER MINE!”

“Jeez, why are you yelling?”

“BECOFF OF COFFEE!”

“Yaah, I told you, no coffee, you idiot!” Hoseok laughs heartily.

“Hoseok-ah! What- what are you doing? You’re- in my office? What are you even doing at the meetings? Do you know-“ Ah. The hour of truth. He scrolls through his phone. The element of surprise. The moment the secret weapon is revealed. The plot twist. The headline. The Dawn of Hope in the story. Your Hope.

J-Hope.

“I know”, he cuts Yoongi off with a grave voice, “Yes, I know this is a surprise to you. Are you worried I might mess things up? Scare business partners away with my caffeinated attitude? Do not fear! For I have for many years worked in secret to this day that I can be of use.”

“…Is that the soundtrack of The Dark Knight in the background?” He pushes his chest forward. “Indeed. Because I’m the hero you don’t deserve, but need right now. Because I can take it.”

“…I think you got that backwards, Hoseok-ah. Listen- What’s father saying to this?”

“He endorses. And so should you. Take a breather, man. Anyway, enough about business. Why the hell did you vamoose all of a sudden? Is it about Seokjin-hyung? He’s in Seoul, too! Go get your man, hyung!”

“I got him already.”

“You g- You WHAT!!?!” Hoseok shoots out of the chair, gripping the edge of the desk so tightly he’ll either break it or flip it. “What the-! How c- did you-!?! DETAILS! Gimme details!! DETAILS!!!”

“Thanks, I’ll be taking a breather then. See you in a week.”

“WAIT!!-“ Click, toot, toot.

“NO!!” He shouts at the receiver indignantly. How dare he! This is the Worst! Leaving him on a cliffhanger like the worst of K-Dramas, unbelievable. His thoughts are running a mile a minute. Did they kiss? How did they find each other? Who confessed first? Did they kiss? He groans. He won’t be able to sleep! It was pouring yesterday in Busan, maybe it was in Seoul, too? Oh my God, was it a confession in the rain he’s going to die, that’s so romantic oh my oh MY-

“Jisoo-ssi-aaaahh!!!!”

“Whaat?!”

“Did you know Yoongi got his man!!”

“Yeees!!!” She squeals.

“Okay, coffee now and you tell me all you know!”

Yoongi stares at his phone after ending the call. He can’t quite believe what’s happened, but…

“Well?” Seokjin raises his eyebrows at him from where he’s sitting on the bed. Yoongi looks at him dazedly. But here he is, in Seoul, with Seokjin, his – he feels himself flushing hotly at the thought oh my God – his boyfriend. His heart flips. His boyfriend whom he can stare at all day now, everyday, without excuses. He can hold his hand now, can fall asleep with his arms around him. And he can kiss him, kiss him, kiss him. He can’t help grinning, lips stretching from ear to ear as he gazes at Seokjin lovingly, feeling all fuzzy and warm when Seokjin returns it with a beautiful smile. “Hoseok, well, he’s…filling in for me.” He shrugs, “Don’t know how that works out but father seems to approve?”

“So? What does that mean?” Seokjin’s eyes twinkle with mirth. Lowering his phone, Yoongi steps closer, smirking lightly. “It means I’m on vacation.” He stops as he’s toe to toe with Seokjin, somewhat hesitant to close the last distance. This closeness, though he’s craved it so badly since forever, is still new and so overwhelming. He blushes as Seokjin takes his hand and guides him down to sit in his lap, his knees resting on either side of Seokjin’s thighs. Hands find his waist as he lays his own on Seokjin’s shoulders. His breath hitches at the nearness and Seokjin’s smoldering look.

“Vacation? So I get to have you all by myself for a whole week?” Yoongi bites his lips, the bubbling joy in his stomach turning hot making his blood sing as he reddens further. “You can have me for the rest of your life, hyung.” Seokjin lets out a delighted squeal and wraps his arms fully around him, squishing him as he lies down and pulls Yoongi down with him. They erupt into happy laughter, chests rumbling against each other. It’s so warm. It’s so wonderful. He leans in for a kiss. In that moment, the door bursts open.

“Kimchi!” Both of them whip their heads around as a flash goes off. Half blind he tries to sit up but Seokjin doesn’t let got, keeping him close.

“Aw, you look so sweet!!” Taehyung coos, looking at the display of his camera contently.

“Taehyung-ah!” Seokjin scolds loudly. Unimpressed, Taehyung answers with a boxy grin. “Come on, you know you’ll thank me for that!” Yoongi gazes at Seokjin, taking in his scowl and pink tinted cheeks and ears, wondering if the photograph captured the right hue and the pretty contrast to his dark eyes and brows.

Seokjin grumbles, “Well, you better send me that picture!” Yoongi snorts. Looking back at him, Seokjin loses his frown, a soft smile playing around his lovely lips. “What? I want all the evidence that this isn’t a dream.” Yoongi melts at his words. He wonders briefly how he’ll go on living his life as goo because with his cute smile and blush and sweet talk Seokjin turns him into exactly that. He buries his face in the crook of his neck, hiding his dopey grin. He figures he’ll just have to cling onto Seokjin, doing symbiosis with him. That should do. They’re already halfway there, anyway – the way their limbs are entangled and their bodies lie pressed against each other it’s like they’re two pieces of a whole that have finally slotted together, fitting perfectly.

“Come on, breakfast you guys! We gotta celebrate this!”

Breakfast with Taehyung is fun and chaotic, just the way he remembers it. Yoongi is the best part of it, though. His lips change flavour from strawberry to homemade hamburger to spicy kimchi pancake to coffee. It’s the best breakfast he’s ever had. Afterwards, they thank Taehyung and promise to meet up with him sometime during their vacation (“Fucking finally!” was Kai’s response when Seokjin called him and explained his sudden leave and his and Yoongi’s happy ending. It was a bit embarrassing but he’s glad he gets a whole week off, too.) and check in at the hotel Yoongi’s been staying. They don’t leave their room for three days.

One month later

“May I have this dance, gorgeous?” Yoongi can’t help grinning at Seokjin’s voice, turning around to face him. His hand is outstretched in offering, but-

“Hm, actually, I was waiting for my boyfriend. He wanted to fetch me a drink.”

Seokjin sighs dramatically. “Men, what can you do? They tell you they’re gonna get you a drink and then hear their favourite song starting and drop everything to find the right partner to dance to it.”

Yoongi shakes his head, eyes crinkling with an amused smile. “Whatever should I do with him?”

“Forgive him”, Seokjin says with a wink, the corners of his mouth twitching up, “and in the mean time, dance with me.”

“If I must”, he answers, already getting up from his seat and taking his hand.

“You definitely must.”

Seokjin walks backwards as he leads him to the dance floor, keeping his eyes on him with a fond smile. He blushes happily and thinks he’ll never truly get used to Seokjin’s full attention and adoration. His heart swells as he pulls him closer, resting the other hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and they start swaying. “It’s that song”, he murmurs against Seokjin’s lips, sinking deeper and deeper into ocean eyes.

“It’s that song.” He remembers their first dance by the pool. Warm and quiet and peaceful, far away from the others in their own little world. His first dance with the ocean, lulling waves and glittering water, with the diamonds above their heads and the most precious gem in his arms. He remembers their dance at the next party when he counted more stars in Seokjin’s eyes than in the sky and his heart was bursting from all the love and hurt he felt all at once. And he makes new memories today, as every day with Seokjin, dancing under a blue sky, flavouring their song with the taste of Seokjin’s lips, with the feeling of kissing starlight in the middle of the day.

“It’s a beautiful wedding”, Seokjin says, letting his eyes drift around.

“Hm.”

“Do you think they love each other?”

He follows his line of sight and sees Hoseok and Jimin dancing together, looking pretty lovestruck. He smiles softly. “Yeah, I think so.” He knows Seokjin is smiling, too, without looking, as Seokjin drops his head onto his shoulder. “That’s good.” Enjoying the moment, he closes his eyes and runs his hands down to his slim waist, holding him closer.

A loud cry startles them out of their slow-dancing, making them look up.

“I said no Drake!” Jimin scowls at Hoseok, hitting his arm who lifts his hands placatively with an innocent look. “It’s just one song!”, he says hastily, while his hips already start gyrating and his feet start moving as In My Feelings begins. “Really!”

“Hoseok!”

“Come on,” Hoseok beckons him with a dimpled smile and a tilt of his head, “One song! Cause I want ya, and I need ya - We shouldn’t let it go to waste! Jimin do you love me?” With a huff and a lot of grumbling Jimin takes his hand again to follow him, pretending to hate it. But by the way he moves it’s obvious that he actually really, really loves it.

Yoongi snorts and feels Seokjin’s laughter rumbling in his chest. And then Seokjin detaches himself from him. Confusedly, he returns his full attention to his boyfriend and gapes as he does some weird dancing with bent knees, swinging his arms while shaking his hands and his head, dance-walking back and forth in front of him. He can’t help laughing at him, his shoulders quaking with it. “Hyung, what are you doing?”

“I’m dancing! With my feelings!” He comes closer, almost bumping their noses together, then walks backwards again…now it looks like robot moves. “Hyung!”

“You should, too!” He rolls his eyes and then shrugs helplessly, mirroring Seokjin’s dance as best he can. They must look so weird.

“We should hold glowsticks! Where are glowsticks!”

“Yes, because we aren’t drawing enough attention, yet”, Yoongi quips drily as the opposite is the case. He ignores the stares even if he can’t quite prevent a blush rising up his cheeks. Shrugging, he concentrates on Seokjin and start freestyling with abandon. Soon, a joyous, windshield laughter fills the air. “You know what Taehyung calls this?”

“What?”

“Mating ritual!” Yoongi shakes with laughter, flashing his bright gummy smile at Seokjin. “That’s what you learned in Seoul, huh?”

Seokjin doubles over with laughter. “Yes! Come on, I’ll be your teacher!” With that Seokjin grabs his hand and twirls him around and around until he’s dizzy before catching him in his arms. There’s a sweet moment when Seokjin looks so warmly and adoringly at him it takes his breath away. And then he’s dipping him and pressing their lips together. He thinks there’s a round of applause, but it is drowned out by the firework in his heart and the ocean rush in his ears. Clinging onto Seokjin’s neck, he deepens the kiss with fluttering pulse as a different kind of dizziness settles in while Seokjin consumes him heart and soul with every breath, every touch and kiss. It's pure bliss. His heart swells to an immeasurable size, spilling over with happiness. Is it possible to love Seokjin more with every passing day, with every passing minute, every second? The answer is yes, a thousand times yes.

My heart is pounding tonight

I wonder

If you

Are too good to be true

And would it be alright if I

Pulled you closer

How could I know

One day I’d wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

Chapter Text

“You’re such an idiot!”, Jimin giggles, leaning into Hoseok as they saunter towards the garage. Hoseok flashes his heart-shaped grin at him as he peeks up, throwing his arm over his shoulder, squeezing him tightly. “Oh, but you love me!” He singsongs.

Sighing happily, Jimin concedes, “I do, honey, I do.” He pouts at him and receives a much needed peck on his lips from his idiot. Marriage. Best invention after the wheel. Because let’s face it, wheels mean cars mean red gorgeous Ferraris. Hm. He should get Hoseok a red suit matching his Ferrari. And then see what happens when he stands next to it. He fans himself at the thought when he notices the noise coming from further up the garage. “Hm?”

The Kim brothers stand around a black Sedan, being loud as someone gets out of the vehicle. Jimin falters in his steps. By his side, Hoseok does the same, seemingly having caught up on the ruckus, too, watching curiously. And then –

“Hm.” He tilts his head, taking in the spectacle unfolding in front of his eyes, feeling Hoseok’s jaw dropping to the floor. Same, Hoseok, same.

First, lithe elegant fingers push the car door open. Black slipper shoes follow, revealing long, graceful legs in black denim. And then – and then he steps out. Black shirt, black leather jacket. Flaming red hair. A wind picks up, tousling it, making it dance like a crown of fire. His eyes drop to his sinful mouth and perfect jawline before creeping up his flawless nose, his cheeks to finally settle on his gorgeous big dark eyes framed by kohl and strong brows. Who is he?

“Taehyung-ah!! What took you so long!” Seokjin shouts happily. That’s when he sees the bright boxy grin for the first time.

“Oh my God.” Hoseok moans next to him with feeling.

Jimin is a humble, an uncomplicated man. He sees something he wants, he takes it. Simple as that. Like when he met Hoseok. That being said –

“Hoseokie. I’ve thought about it.” He closes Hoseok’s mouth with a flick to his chin. “I wouldn’t mind a ménage à trois.” Hoseok jerks hard in his arm, sputtering heavily until he’s coughing. But right then, Jimin only has eyes for one mysterious stranger. And for a split second, their eyes meet. His lips tug up into a slow smile as the red-hair gives him a smouldering look, an open, shameless once-over before winking at him. Oh, he likes this song.

“Yoongichi!” Yoongi looks up from where he’s standing by his car, his heart flipping happily at hearing Seokjin’s voice. And then it drops. A scowl settles over his face. What-

“Yoongichi!!” Jeongguk, Namjoon and Taehyung echo Seokjin in greeting, batting their eyelashes, grinning widely while waving with their hands like idiot brothers who just-

“Sorry, sorry, Yoongi-ah”, Seokjin jogs to him with red ears, leaning down to peck him on his lips. Yoongi melts. But just a little. He manages a half frown at Seokjin’s shoulder, trying to avoid his eyes so as to keep focus on the matter at hand, which is “I thought it’s just us.” He takes in the Kims’ attire. Shorts and shirts and bucket hats and backpack. Oh, are they kidding him?!

“I know, I know, but they caught wind and then”, Seokjin shrugs embarrassedly, “actually, I’ve wanted to take Taehyung fishing for a long time and this is a good opportunity.”

“But I wanted- this is, this is a date, hyung”, Yoongi can’t help pouting, staring listlessly over his shoulder as Jeongguk, Namjoon and Taehyung bicker around loudly, fighting for the seats in his car. In his car!

“It’s gonna be fun, Yoongichi! Please, for me?” Seokjin stares at him with big doe eyes and Yoongi heaves a sigh, losing the battle. “Okay.” Seokjin beams, “Thank you, Yoongichi! I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Yoongi tilts his head, giving him puppy eyes, “Kiss me?” Seokjin’s eyes glisten with joy as he leans down and closes the gap between them. It’s gentle and sweet and warm. His lips are soft as clouds and taste like heaven. Kissing him is like touching the sky, drinking ambrosia, growing wings. And then it’s a dive in the ocean, all-consuming, taking his breath away. He kisses him long and slow, then pecks his lips once, twice, thrice. His hands find Seokjin’s waist, pulling him closer. He deepens the next kiss, licking his lower lip, coaxing his mouth open. A soft moan escapes him as Seokjin’s grip on his hair tightens.

“Get a room!” Jeongguk yells, startling them out of their moment.

“No, get in the car!” Namjoon shouts. “We’re gonna be late!”

“By all means, keep going!” Taehyung retorts, holding his phone up. Seokjin gapes at him. “Tae, are you filming us?!”

“Yuck!” Jeongguk shoves Taehyung’s shoulder, making a disgusted face.

“What?” Taehyung cradles his phone. “They’re inspirational! I’m an artist!” Namjoon and Jeongguk stare at him indignantly. “I love Seokjin-hyung!” Taehyung says defensively.

“Oh my God. Come on.” Seokjin drags Yoongi to the car and moves to the driver’s seat. Yoongi takes a moment to register the fault in everything this situation has to offer. “Taehyung!” He cries out, opening the front door. “Move!” But Taehyung sinks deeper into his seat next to Seokjin, not willing to budge, pouting at him with big brown eyes. “No!”

“Yes! Taehyung-ah-“

“Glossy, you get to see him everyday! I’m just here on vacation!” Taehyung leans sideways, almost lying in Seokjin’s lap. What is he doing?! “I love him, too!” He whines, “Let me ride shotgun!” The nerve! “Don’t call me Gl-“

“We’re gonna be late!” Namjoon yells at them impatiently. The Nerve!! He and Seokjin wouldn’t be late if it weren’t for them tagging along!

“Yoongi-ah! Get in the car!” Seokjin tells him. Grumbling, he closes the door in Taehyung’s face and climbs in next to Jeongguk who grins at him with crescent eyes, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “Come to me, I love you, too!” He coos.

Yoongi groans. This isn’t going according to plan at all. The engine comes to life and Taehyung starts the music, turning the volume up when RM blares through the radio. Namjoon laughs as a familiar piano tune begins. “Yoongi-hyung, remember our first fishing trip? When you jumped into the sea?”

“You jumped?” Taehyung turns to look at him delightedly. Next to him, he can see Seokjin’s ears blushing deep red. Instead of deigning him an answer, he just glares at Taehyung. And then it gets noisy as Jeongguk starts singing “Is this love! Yeah!” and the rest of them join in.

Yoongi’s hoarse and a bit deaf by the time they arrive at the docks. He trudges on board while he can still hear Taehyung and Jeongguk hollering songs behind him. Young people, really. He’s exhausted. He needs to lie down, now. Is this what giving a concert feels like? Seokjin comes up to him and hooks their arms together. “Yoongichi! Don’t fall asleep!” He bops his nose, making him squint. He smiles lovingly at Seokjin as his windshield laughter fills the air. Suddenly, he hears the rev of a car approaching fast, then coming to a screeching halt. They all stop in their tracks and look back. Yoongi gapes at the familiar car, speechless as Hoseok and Jimin rush out of the vehicle and up to the ship. “You made it!” Taehyung beams and waves at them.

“Oh, what a nice surprise!” Seokjin waves at them, too. Yoongi stares at him, somewhat betrayed. It was meant to be a date with just the two of them! Yoongi had plans!! And now this. A tail of annoying brothers and co. Yoongi deflates as Hoseok loud voice adds to the cacophony around him. He buries his face in the crook of Seokjin’s neck and lets out a sad whine, letting him pat the back of his head in comfort. “There, there, love. I’m here.”

“I brought some booze!” Hoseok hollers. Jeongguk and Taehyung cheer while Namjoon does the X cross with his arms.

Fishing with Yoongi is serenity. It’s peace. It’s the union of sky and ocean as yin and yang, the gold-red horizon the place where they meet in the world’s most ancient kiss. It’s the song of the sea and warm presence of Yoongi, his low humming and Seokjin’s little jokes. Their love for each other reflected in the water and the stars.

Now, fishing with this bunch of misfits.

It’s Chaos. Cha-os.

It starts off okay, you know. 101 fishing for the newbies, all good. Hands kept to themselves, booze unpacked in the bag, schmooze in a normal volume. Just one or two wary glances from the crew. Did it deteriorate at their midnight ramen? Seokjin’s not sure. In any case, it’s not his fault. He doesn’t even know how it starts but the song they happen to belt out is Converse High of all things.

“-Your Converse Highs!” He splutters as he gets head-banging Taehyung’s red strands in his mouth-

“I really really want yo!” Jeongguk’s chopsticks go flying while he uses them as drumsticks-

“Converse High!” Namjoon knocks his cup of soda off the table because he’s Namjoon-

“I really really like yo” Jimin sings mostly to Hoseok, giving him bedroom eyes, being not safe for work in general with his everything.

“Converse High!”

“I really really need yo!” Jimin and Hoseok make out.

“Converse High Converse High” Seokjin starts undoing his shoe.

“Converse, Converse, I really hate a Converse” Yoongi shouts at the top of his lungs, “Anyway, when you meet me, don’t wear Converses! It’s too hard to take them off of you!”

“That’s why I’m only wearing slippers!” Taehyung yells, putting his foot up in the air to show his slippe- to show his actually bare foot. What’s the point, cousin?

“Good boy”, Hoseok hums approvingly at him while Jimin leers at a preening Taehyung. Seokjin chucks his shoe at them with feeling, hitting Hoseok in the face. Hoseok yelps while Jeongguk guffaws. Picking up the Converse High, Jimin gives Seokjin a look, waving the chuck in the air, “See! That’s why you aren’t getting any!”

Seokjin’s eyes go round as he stares back at Jimin disbelievingly. “I beg your pardon? I got a boyfriend!” He grabs Yoongi’s hand and yanks it up in the air, with chopsticks and all, the noodles flopping down from the height. “I’m getting plenty!”

Jimin laughs, “Well, you could probably be getting more if it weren’t for these!” He throws his shoe back at Seokjin who manages to hit it away with a cool karate move but-

“Yah, yah, yaaarh!! Jimin-ah-aaah!!” – it goes splish splash in Yoongi’s bowl of ramen. His darling looks tormented, exasperated with the broth all over his shirt. “Oh my God, Yoongi, I’m so sorry!” Seokjin says, grabbing a napkin and starting to dab him dry. He begins with his cute nose, then squishes his cheekies. “Hyung! Yah, gimme the napkin!”

Stifling a laugh, he gets to work properly, “No, no, I’m sorry, let me- I’ll fix this.”

Jimin, the gloating Slytherin that he is, doubles over with laughter.

“Guys, you need to stop!” Namjoon calls out, covering Jeongguk’s ears with his hands and scowling at them. Jeongguk meanwhile, keeps on slurping his ramen unperturbed. “You’re defiling Gukkie’s favourite childhood song!”

“Yah!” Seokjin starts, fishing his shoe out of the bowl, “It’s not Gukkie’s, it’s your favourite song! And don’t look at me, look at that three-way horror on the bench there!” He points at Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung who’re- he doesn’t want to know. He looks the other way and tunes them out, feeling himself blushing and busies himself with drying his Converse with the napkin, but it’s a useless endeavour. Oh, to hell. Barefoot or soaked shoe, barefoot or soaked shoe. He puts his sneaker on again, wet and eugh and smelling like ramen.

“Like you two-headed…two-headed gooey sappy…pudding are any better!” Jeongguk chimes in, pointing at him and Yoongi. Seokjin splutters, “Yah, yah! Yoongi, defend us!” He turns towards his boyfriend only to see him sitting there with closed eyes, unmoving, trying to teleport far away from them, probably. He hits his leg. “Yoongi-ah! Don’t abandon me! My honour is on the line! They’re comparing us to that three-headed monster over there!” He leans closer to look beneath the rim of the bucket hat then pecks him on the lips, once, twice to revive him. (“See!” Jeongguk yells while Namjoon groans) “Yoongichi.” He draws patterns on his knee with his finger, waiting for Yoongi to talk to him. Yoongi’s cheeks start to redden. “Hyung.” He murmurs. “What?” Seokjin whispers back, their noses almost brushing. He allows them to bump together once to lessen the ache of distance between them. “If you keep touching me like that I’ll be having a problem.”

“Keep touching you-? Oh…” His fingers on Yoongi’s knee still. He stares at his boyfriend in wonder, feeling his face burning as Yoongi’s turn on turns him on in turn. Deliberately, he spreads his fingers and slowly lets them wander up and to the inside of his thigh, watching with rapt attention as Yoongi’s blush deepens and his lips part slightly. His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows and his breath hitches while Seokjin’s hand creeps further and further up. Suddenly, Yoongi’s hand shoots out, halting Seokjin’s. “Hyung”, he mumbles with a strained voice, “Stop.” God, he wants to devour him. Seokjin brushes his lips against the corner of his mouth, then moves them up to his ear, whispering softly, “Or. We don’t stop.” He leans back to gauge Yoongi’s reaction who stares at him with wide eyes, pupils blown. Yoongi swallows again, and then announces, “I think, I need to go to the restroom. Clean up. This mess.” He gestures mindlessly at his soiled shirt and gets up. Seokjin jumps up, too. “I think I need to help you.” He flashes an innocent smile and quickly drags Yoongi out of the cabin, the banter behind them growing loud again.

“Oh, seriously? Come on!” Namjoon grimaces at them.

“Oooh, get some, Jinnie! That’s hot.”

“Hot?! Eugh, that’s my brother who can’t keep it sophisticated!”

“Hoseok you’re the last one to talk about sophistication!”

“D’you want to eat this? Can I have the rest? Since you’re so busy sucking his soul out of his mouth.”

“Jeongguk-ah!”

“What? It’s called the Dementor’s kiss, by the way. Maybe you could stop, it feels like you’re draining my soul, too.”

“He’s right, though, you know-“

“But wouldn’t that be a horcrux?”

“That’s not what I meant-“

And then the actual fishing starts. And it’s the Cha to the Os part two. The best thing is, this time there’s Jimin and Taehyung laughing at his awesome jokes but that just triggers Yoongi who starts bickering nonstop with Jimin of all the people. Namjoon nearly takes out Hoseok’s eye with the fish hook. Hoseok fishes with one hand most of the time because he can’t seem to stop groping certain asses, that’s right, plural. The wantonness of that guy, incredible. That being said, he can’t believe Taehyung. How the hell, what the hell happened? His mind comes to a screeching halt. You know what, he actually doesn’t want to know.

And then there’s Jeongguk, who tries to lure fish with his golden voice, singing endlessly. Well, as a matter of fact it sounds good and would you believe that, he actually succeeds! Like, he catches all the fish they reel in that night! Like, one single fish. They’re going to starve at breakfast.

“Maybe you’re chasing them away with your singing, Guk-ah!” Hoseok thinks loudly.

“Hey, don’t insult his singing!” Seokjin is quick to defend. “He’s got a beautiful voice!”

“I’m not saying he can’t sing! Just maybe the fish prefer hip-hop! I let it rain, I clear it out!” Hoseok leans over the railing to coo at the fish, wiggling his booty, “I let it rain, I clear it out! Let’s get it let’s get it let’s get it let’s get it fish noodle soup! Fish noodle soup!"

“Ugh, Hoseok, ugh,” Yoongi groans, “I think you turned the fish off for good.”

“Excuse me?!” Hoseok looks at him indignantly, “My rapping is a blessing, yeah? I come with references!”

“Ah, what the hell is there to be upset about being criticized a bit?” Yoongi shoots back.

Hoseok laughs as he realizes what his brother is doing. “Why are you whining again? If I were the one, just, ahem,

b-hem, ahem!”

“I go UGH!” Taehyung growls. “UGH!”

“I go UGH! UGH!”

And then Hoseok gets cracking, “This world, it is taken over by rage,” heads bob-

“it seems that nobody can live without rage,” limbs pop-

“Raging,” they hop-

“again raging,” can’t stop-

“and raging-“ jumping, locking, loading, rocking-

“Going insane, like-“

“UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!” They all burst out, hollering, raging into the night, going insane.

“Yeah, UGH! UGH! Just go UGH! UGH!

Yeah, UGH! UGH! Just go UGH! UGH!”

“UGH-ughaarrh!!” Seokjin stumbles as something tugs at his fishing line. “I got one!!”

“Ughah!! Me too!!”

“ME TOO!!

“AARh!”

“Guys, GUYS!! I TOLD YOU THEY LIKE HIP-HOP!!” They flail around with the fishing poles while rolling on the floor laughing in disbelief. Breakfast becomes a feast.

It’s dawn. After a break and a nap, they gather outside, enjoying the beautiful view. Seokjin sighs, melting in Yoongi’s embrace. “It’s so gorgeous, Yoongichi.”

“Yes, it is.”

The sun creeps higher and higher. Soon, it’s just the two of them, the others having gone inside probably to start preparing breakfast. Oh, come to think of it, he and Yoongi should help, lest the kitchen explodes or something in the hands of the idiots. Before he can voice his thought, though, Yoongi stirs in his arms.

“Sunrise, sunset. Miles of gold and pink and blue. Nothing compares to you.” Seokjin blinks down at Yoongi whose face is pressed against his chest, his heart swelling at his murmur. His words of adoration are always so sweet, turning him into a useless, sappy puddle. He loves it. Yoongi straightens slightly, his fingers playing with his collar.

“I take a brush, dip it into the sea and paint the sky blue.

I kiss your lips,” Yoongi kisses him tenderly, “then blow the kiss into the wind to give the sky your lips’ pink hue.” Leaning back, Yoongi gazes into his eyes, “I drink in your eyes with mine and then look up, sharing the brilliance of your stars with heaven, too.” He caresses Seokjin’s cheek.

“I embellish nature with your colours

And finally, it comes close to perfection – to you.” Seokjin swallows, his heart brimming with emotions.

“I bathe in the ocean and take to the sky. I wrap myself in moonlight, starlight, sunlight, and try

to be worthy of you. And I-“ Yoongi takes a deep breath. Seokjin rests a hand on his chest and feels for the first time how fast Yoongi’s heart is pounding. “I want you to know. I want you to know that you make up my whole world, Seokjin-hyung. That you light up my world, my heart, my soul. That you’re the scenery to my life, my plotline, my main theme, my star.

You’re sunrise, blue sky, sunset. My beginning, middle and end. I want you always in my life, forever, and I want- I want to give to you what you’re giving me, too – the world.” Yoongi swallows, then takes a step back and goes down on one knee. Seokjin gasps, one hand shooting up to clap over his mouth, the other clasped in Yoongi’s hands. His heart is hammering wildly in his chest and he feels a lump forming in his throat. In the background voices grow louder but he doesn’t notice, his senses all consumed by Yoongi who’s looking up at him with so much love and warmth it overwhelms him. His vision starts to blur and his whole body trembles.

“Seokjin-hyung, I love you. I love you more than you can imagine, more than words can say. I love you with everything I’ve got. And I promise you, I promise you I’ll always love you, I’ll always give you everything of me and more if you’ll have me. I’ll love you, I’ll cherish you and honour you the way you deserve to be.” With trembling hand, Yoongi takes a small black box out of his pocket, and his voice that’s been steady up until now starts shaking, “Seokjin-hyung. Will you marry me?” He presents him a beautiful, simple diamond ring.

Seokjin chokes on a sob, feeling the first tears falling. “Ugh” he gets out, then tries again, “ugh-es” He starts nodding vehemently, droplets of tears flying with the force as words fail him completely.

“Ye-yes?” Yoongi asks hesitantly with wide eyes. “I-is th-that a- a yes?” He stammers. And Seokjin thinks, what an idiot, what an enormous stupid kitten idiot, of course it’s a yes. “Ugh”, he elucidates then throws himself into his arms hugging him tightly before leaning back to kiss him wetly. He can feel Yoongi’s heart tattooing right into his own, both fusing into one big emotional ball of SeokjinandYoongi. Cradling his face, he deepens the kiss, trying to convey his feelings, his yesyesyes nonverbally. Yoongi’s arms come around him, wrapping him in a warm embrace. Eventually, they part for air and the world pops back into being. He registers hooting and applause somewhere behind him but he doesn’t care. He beams at Yoongi who gives him his brightest gummy smile yet. And then they laugh, bodies shaking with the force, eyes glistening with tears and love and joy. Then Seokjin stretches out his hand expectantly. “O-oh, the ring!” Seokjin bites his lips as he watches Yoongi fumbling with the box, his heart flipping happily. Yoongi’s hands tremble as he takes the ring between his fingers. When he finally, finally goes to put it on him he knocks it against Seokjin’s finger and somehow. Well. The ring vanishes. He hears the pretty chink of ring hitting metal somewhere to his right, whipping his head around.

“Aaarh!!” Yoongi cries panicky, throwing himself at the ring but it rolls out of his grasp.

“AAArgh!!” Seokjin agrees, stumbling after him on his knees and hands.

“Aaaaaaahhh-“ With horror they watch the ring rolling past the railing and onto the bow. Hastily Yoongi climbs over the railing. “Wait- Yoongi!”

“AH! I got it!” Yoongi shouts in relief holding up the shiny ring. “Yoongi!” Seokjin rushes to him, also climbing over the railing to grab him. By now there’s a noticeable ruckus behind them, people shouting and running towards them. But they’re too late. Yoongi slips. “Yoongi!!” Seokjin surges forward. And then it’s déja-vu. A moment of weightlessness, broadening your horizon, literally seeing the world from a different angle, and then it’s a 10/10 score in diving as they plunge into the ocean. They gasp and splutter as their heads resurface, the life vests keeping them afloat. “Y-Yoongi, you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, are you?”

“Yes.” He coughs up water and then flails closer to Yoongi until they both cling at each other. “Oh my God.” They stare at each other for a second and then burst out laughing. “Oh my God.”

“SEOKJIN-HYUUNNG!!!” They look up to see everyone on board watching them. “Jeongguk!! JEONGGUK!!!” Taehyung screams again, “SAVE SEOKJIN-HYUNG!! SAVE HIM!!”

“ON MY WAY!!”

“NO!!” Namjoon wrestles with Jeongguk.

“Did you get it on cam DID YOU GET IT ON CAM JIMIN! DID YOU-“

“-I got it I got it I got it I got it-“

“DID YOU GET IT ON CAM MY PHONE IS CHARGING IN THE CABIN YOU NEED TO GET THIS-“

“-I got it I got it- Stop hitting me, Hoseok!!”

“I need my phone I need my phone- YOONGI!!! STAY LIKE THAT OKAY!!? DON’T GO ANYWHERE, OKAY?!!! JUST A SECOND!!”

Yoongi looks back at Seokjin wordlessly, then starts fumbling with his life vest. “What are you doing, Yoongi?”

“Help me get out of this vest, hyung.”

Seokjin splutters, stopping Yoongi’s hands. “Why?”

Yoongi gives him a defeated look, wet hair plastered sadly to his forehead, droplets of water raining down his face from his fringe. “Because I want to drown.” Seokjin snorts as Yoongi closes his eyes with a pitiful whine and lets his arms flop into the water. It’s so funny and so cute he can’t help laughing. Opening one eye Yoongi takes a peek at him, and scowls, “You, too, hyung? You, too?”

“Aw, Yoongichi”, he pulls him closer until they’re face to face again. “You can’t die yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because you need to marry your fiancé and spend a lifetime with your future husband still.” Now, Yoongi opens both of his eyes, his gaze turning soft as he stares at Seokjin. “Fiancé”, he repeats gently, mulling over the word on his tongue like a delicacy to be savoured.

“Future husband”, Seokjin replies. A small smile plays around Yoongis lips, stretching wider and wider as the implication sinks in until all Seokjin can see are gums and nose and glittering eyes. They both move at the same time to seal their lips in a warm kiss. He strokes his cheek lovingly. And then he remembers. “Yoongi-ah. What about the ring?”

“Oh-ah, I saved it!” Flustered and blushing, Yoongi opens his palm carefully to show him.

“Gimme that, I can’t trust you with it.”

“Yah”, Yoongi whines with a frown, sounding hurt, “do you know how that sounds?”

Chuckling, he retorts, “I trust you with my heart, darling.” He pecks him on the lips, “Now, give me the ring, God knows what I’ll do when you let a diamond ring sink to the bottom of the sea.” Yoongi laughs and shakes his head, finally, finallyputting the ring on him and it fits. It’s perfect. His heart swells as he regards the little pretty thing that holds so much meaning to them. A lifetime with Yoongi. A promise to love him for an eternity. His gaze lifts to meet Yoongi’s eyes. An eternity is barely enough, he thinks. But as Yoongi says, their feelings for each other cannot be expressed in words, and time and space, too, have yet to find a way to expand eternity to accommodate, to contain their love. But for now, this is enough. Yoongi in his arms, now and forever. “I love you, Yoongi-ah”, he murmurs, smiling against his lips before closing the last distance between them, pouring his heart and soul into the sweetest kiss and the most beautiful moment in life.