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"Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall free me."
Bastila knelt on the stone floor, hands on her knees, her eyes closed. Meditating. Or trying to. It wasn't working. Of course it wasn't working. Meditation was a mere excuse for Jedi to stew in the smug complacency they confused for serenity. She was Sith.
And yet... there had been times in the past where meditation had brought her clarity. Or something she thought had been clarity, anyway. She needed clarity now.
A storm raged in Bastila's chest, and she did not know what it was. Her own violent passions? Or the power of the Dark Side? She couldn't tell. Her Jedi upbringing had so mutilated her that she unable to make that simple distinction. Powerful emotion led to the Dark Side. To hear some Jedi 'Masters' tell it, powerful emotion was the Dark Side. How, then, could she decide whether the tempest she felt were her own feelings or the Dark Side?
This turmoil had been with her for a long time. She'd felt the first, faint stirrings of it back on Taris, when Revan first joined her. She hadn't been able to recognise it then either. At first, she'd struggled against it. Then, when her eyes had finally been opened, she'd tried to embrace it. But how she could truly embrace it if she didn't even know what it was?
It had started with Revan, and the longer she'd spent with Revan, the more powerful it had become. Now, it threatened to tear her apart. No, it wasn't the Dark Side. It was Revan.
Revan! Of course it was Revan. Her life had revolved around Revan. First as her adversary, then as her companion, now as her Apprentice.
Bastila opened her eyes.
Of course. Now she understood. What she felt, that violence in her chest, it was a caged animal straining against the prison of her destiny. Against Revan. The Force had bound her to Revan. While Revan lived, Bastila would be chained to her. While Revan lived, Bastila could not be free.
The solution was obvious. She was a Sith Apprentice. And there was only one way for an Sith Apprentice to become a Sith Master.
Bastila rose to her feet and stormed out of her room. How foolish she'd been! Sitting around, chanting to herself, waiting for enlightenment to come? No. She should have acted.
Bastila was too consumed by her destination to notice anything else as she stalked through the corridors of the Korriban base. In return, lots of people didn't notice her, either. They might, perhaps, suddenly remember they were needed in an entirely different part of the base the moment they absolutely did not see Bastila coming towards them. Or they might be taken up by a sudden and overwhelming desire to study the ancient reliefs carved into the walls and so utterly missed Bastila walking past.
Only two people noticed Bastila. Their helmets concealed their faces, but the way they stood and gripped their blasters told her that they were unhappy about having noticed her. The two soldiers guarding Revan's chambers.
"Stand aside," Bastila commanded.
"Lord... Lord Revan is not to be disturbed by anyone."
Bastila raised her right hand. The trooper on the right rose into the air and was slammed against the wall. They dropped to the floor, unconscious.
"Stand."
Bastila raised her hand again, and this the time the other trooper was flung through the air, bouncing down the stone corridor behind her.
"Aside."
Bastila strode through the now unguarded doors.
Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith, Ruler of the Empire, sat behind a large stone table, studying some datapads. She looked up, and smiled.
"Bastila. What can I do for you?"
She wasn't wearing her helmet. Why wasn't she wearing her helmet? This would be so much easier if she couldn't see her face.
Even so, Bastila knew what had to be done.
Bastila flung a hand towards Revan. Lightning sprang from her fingertips, tearing the air apart with jagged light. It coursed through the ancient chamber, lunging straight for Revan's heart.
Revan held up a gloved hand. Bastila's lightning surged into her palm. She closed her hand into a fist, snuffing out the violent light.
"Come now, I know you can do better," Revan said.
Bastila barely managed to suppress a snarl of outrage. How dare Revan be so dismissive of her! But she would not be distracted. She aimed both hands at the Dark Lord. The ancient stone chamber, normally so dark in Korriban's dim light, lit up brightly with Bastila's lightning.
Revan didn't even bother raising her hands. She sat quite calmly behind the stone table, watching the erratic bolts fizzle out in front of her eyes. Bastila gritted her teeth. If only she was stronger. If only she could tap into that alien storm raging in her chest. If she could harness that power, then she would be able to-
"Alright, fun's over."
Revan raised her right hand dismissively. Bastila's lightning stopped abruptly. She was lifted off her feet and held in the air, arms secured at her side. She tried to move. Couldn't. No matter how much strength she guided towards her muscles, she remained absolutely still in Revan's grip.
So, this was it then. She was about to die. Well, at least Revan would be the one to kill her. A fitting end to her brief life.
"What did you think you were doing?" Revan asked.
For a moment, Bastila just stared at her, dumbfounded. Surely she hadn't just asked her that question?
"Well?" said Revan, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
"I should think that was obvious," Bastila said.
"Indulge me."
"I was going to kill you," Bastila said.
Revan smiled. The caged animal raging inside Bastila's chest flung itself against the bars.
"Of course you were," the Dark Lord of the Sith said easily. "Why?"
"All Apprentices are expected to try and kill their Masters," said Bastila.
The smile drained from Revan's face. The amused condescension vanished from her eyes. She rose from her chair. Bastila expected her Master to strike her with lightning. But instead of pain, there was only another question.
"No," said Revan. "Why did you try to kill me?"
"The Force shall free me," Bastila quoted.
"Alright," said Revan slowly. "Go on."
"Once, I thought our Force bond meant our destinies were intertwined. But now I see clearly. It's a chain. I am chained to you. For me to be free, you must die," said Bastila.
"For me to be free, you must die," said Revan.
"Then kill me," said Bastila.
"Not before you've told me the truth," said Revan.
If Bastila had been able to move, she would've clenched her hands into fists. "I would not lie to you."
"I didn't say you were lying," said Revan.
"I've said all I can," said Bastila. "There is no more."
"There is, and I'll hear it."
Sparks sprang between the fingertips of Revan's left hand. Bastila found her eyes drawn towards the sight. It was to be the torture, then. She had no fear of torture, not any more. In pain, she had found the path to freedom. In pain, she had found the Dark Side. In pain, she had found herself.
If Bastila had one regret, it would be that it had been Malak to show her the truth. It should have been Revan. It should have been Revan's lightning that had burned into her flesh. It should have been Revan's pain that had surged through her veins. It should have been Revan who had finally pushed her to embrace the Dark.
Revan had been there for every defining moment of Bastila's life. She should have been there for the most important one.
The sparks playing between Revan's fingertips vanished. Bastila's eyes swivelled back to Revan's face. She'd been watching her closely.
"This bond of ours," Revan said airily, as though the moment had never happened. "Light Side or Dark Side?"
"It is the Force," Bastila replied.
"That's not what I asked," Revan said.
"The Dark Side, then," said Bastila.
"Possibly," said Revan. "Our bond made you more susceptible to the Dark Side, and it pushed me to embrace the Dark Side for a second time. And yet, you just called it a chain."
"It is not of the Light, if that's what you're suggesting," Bastila said. "The Light is dead. It is the calm of a decaying corpse. This... this... what I... It is violent and powerful and... and..."
Bastila found herself drop to the stone floor. She fell onto her knees, but managed to catch herself on the left arm to stop herself falling onto her face.
The sound of Revan's footsteps came closer.
"Almost there," said Revan. "What is it?"
Bastila looked up. Revan loomed over her, looking down on her. Her lips were drawn into an amused smile. Her dark eyes glittered.
"Love."
And so the storm calmed. So the raging beast lay down.
Revan reached down with her hand. Bastila took it, and stood on her own two feet.
"That's why we can't be free unless we kill each other," said Revan, her voice quiet. "That's why I won't kill you."
"You... you knew? Do you know how I've struggled with this?" Bastila said.
"More than I, I'm sure," said Revan calmly. "But you don't really expect me to just hand you the answer, do you?"
"You-" Bastila began. "Oh, forget it. Just kiss me already."
Revan smiled, and pulled her close. Her body was warm, and her lips were soft.
The storm stirred in Bastila's chest. But she knew what it was now, and she enjoyed the wind on her face.